#I wanted to murder her

[ohlookitsabluejay]

Okay so my family rented a beach house in North Carolina one time and we were walking along the beach with my dog (who was like, I think a year old. He’s turning four this year) and we came across this lady who had this big black lab. Usually this would not be a problem except for the fact that this fucking lady was SO clearly on drugs or some shit and she see’s us and is all like “oh they can play!” And stuff and we were trying to politely decline but she would not shut up and so we just turned around to avoid her and started walking the other way.

And you know what she did? SHE LET HER FUCKING DOG OFF LEASH AND HE CAME BARRELING TOWARDS US AND JUMPED AT MY DOG.

I don’t remember if the dog was being aggressive or not, but he was way too big and playing way too rough for my pup. And so my cousin grabs this dog by the collar to hold him off my puppy (who I’m pretty sure was being pinned to the ground) and holds him back while my dad picks up my dog.

Meanwhile we’re all yelling at this stupid woman to come get her dog and she’s just walking towards us taking her sweet fucking time while my cousin was literally wrestling with her dog.

Eventually she came and got him and idk what she said but she went back to her tent thing and we just walked away with my dad still carrying my dog.

Once she got back though she let him go AGAIN and thankfully he stayed with her but she’s all happy yelling at him saying “you’re allowed to have fun!!!” Like fucking hell woman that was the opposite of fun that was traumatic

We got away from her eventually and let my pup walk again. He was fine.

i wish dog owners would shut the fuck up sometimes

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanessa had her priorities straight in FNAF help wanted

[umblrspectrum]

i love learning cursive just to write text for exactly one character

[malinaa]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

[maskofnova]

Peace and Love on the Earth <3

[yeehawpim]

[muffinlance]

The feral cat gator of a 13 year old freshly scarred Zuko being forcibly adopted by the foggy swamp tribe! Bonus points if they willfully ignore the fact he's a firebender and treat him as a very strange waterbender bending-wise

It was Earth Kingdom ships that drove the metal one onto the reefs, so when the little thing came crawling up through the marsh spitting and hissing and dressed in red, they knew it weren’t no earthbender. No matter how much mud it had tripped in, trying to find where the ground stopped sucking at its feet.

“Wow-ee,” said Old Earl, “that sure is one way of keepin’ off the ‘squito-chiggers.”

And they all watched from Big Earl’s porch, sitting or rocking, as them bugs came for the all-you-can-eat and ended up on the bar-b-que.

“Sure is some weird bending,” said Little Earl, who was taller than Big Earl, but when they'd been twelve and they’d wrestled for the title it hadn't been Little Earl who’d won.

The little thing looked maybe twelve, too. And he was little little. But he had that same look like he was going to shove someone’s face in the mud until they said otherwise, as he stood there all panting and dripping and just realizing they’d been watching him this whole time.

“It’s firebending,” the one-kid mud-wrestler said, as bugs kept pop-snapping into flames around him.

Old Earl cupped a hand over his ear, like he couldn’t hear. And he kept doing it, while the kid got louder and louder about that bending of his, but quieter and quieter about looking at them like they were his next bugs.

“Oh, firebending,” Old Earl said, nodding like he’d only just got it, when the kid had stomped straight up to his chair. “Right, right, Old Jane’s got fire-water-bending, too. Why don’t you take him to her, boys.”

“It’s not-- ugh,” shouted the kid, but maybe he only had the one volume. Certainly only had the one volume for stomping, even though stomping was what got a fellow’s shoes shoved down so deep in the mud they’d be seeing them again as mole-shrimp hats. Not that the kid had shoes. Neither did Earl, Earl, or Earl. ‘Cept for Fancy Earl, but he’d gone off to Ba-Singing-Se, to be fancy.

Anyway, Old Jane was the best at turning anything and everything into fire water, which was the kind of thing a fellow called his or her liquor when they wanted fancy folk to keep right on walking. Was really good for making shouty little firebrands take their naps, too, which let Old Jane get her glowing mitts all over that fresh burn of his. And the love-bites from the shark-wrasses that had probably been half the reason the kid had come a-shore all a-shouting in the first place.

“Nope,” diagnosed Old Jane, when the kid woke back up. “That’s just how he talks. Mother was a screamer-bird, I’d say.”

“You take that back about my mother,” screamed their screamer-bird, who had pretty good hearing for someone who’s ear had lost the same fight as his eye. Anyway, Old Jane had done the best she could about both, and nothing was on fire that shouldn’t be, and she had that extra quilt she’d been working on that needed a body under it

And the waves and the shark-wrasses had all the rest of the kid’s crew

So sure enough they set their little screamer-bird up with a nest and let him cry loud as he wanted.

Anyway, if there was one thing Earl Earl Earl and Jane knew, it was how to make a joke so good the other person didn’t even know it were a joke.

“Firebending,” their little fledgling shouted, and waved his arms around, like all that fire pointed at no one was going to get them startled off.

“A-yep,” nodded Old Earl. “That there is some fire-water-bending. Just like Old Jane.”

Old Jane wasn’t the kind of gal who showed off, but she wasn’t the kind who missed no cue, either. She swirled a lick o’ liquor out of her latest barrel and twirled it ‘round and straight into her mouth, and when she spit it out, it looked so much like the little bird’s breath-o’-fire that he didn’t even notice the spark rocks she kept on her fingers as jewelry. No one did, ‘til they’d seen the trick a few times.

The kid’s mouth hung open so low and so long, a moth-tick flew in. That was some kind of life lesson, that was. The swamp was good at sending those.

The Earth Kingdom sent troops a-stompin’ through, losing boots and scaring catigators out of their sunning spots left and right, askin’ all rumbly about those fires they’d spotted, and if anyone from that shipwreck had made it on shore, and talkin’ about how there’d be money in it for them if they made that last answer a “yes,” sounding like Fancy Earl and all his talk about commerce and living standards.

“Got a few parts of them ship people in the lagoon,” Big Earl said. “Probably still floatin’ if you want ‘em. But we better bring the shrimp-minnow nets, ‘cuase they’ll just slosh on through the turtle-sturgeon ones.”

“...No thank you,” the head stomper said, like sayin’ polite words made a fellow a polite man. He’d tracked those boots of his right up onto their porch without so much as a scuff on their mud rug. Even the kid had used the mud rug. “And the fire?”

“Oh,” said Little Earl, with a grin, “that was Old Jane.”

And she did her trick again, only less tricky, so they could see the spark rocks real good. “You boys want some fire water?” she offered. “It ain’t blinded no one who wasn’t already headed that way.”

They didn’t want any, which was grand, ‘cause she hadn’t really been offering.

When the last of them had gone stomping off back to the kind of land that let people stomp it, it took them two whole hours to lure out the catigators from under the porch. And their little screamer bird, too.

“...Why didn’t you turn me in?”

“What?” asked Old Earl, cupping his ear.

“Why—”

“What?”

“—didn’t—”

“WHAT?”

“—you—”

“Speak up, boy,” Old Earl said. “I never heard such a quiet child.”

And boy, did that set their bird back to singing.

[lexo-is-pesto]

Like mother like daughter

[egophiliac]

have you been keeping up with gavv? because holy hell, i think the beginning arc has been one of the strongest beginnings we've had. so many goddamn emotional moments and crazy good fights

oh Gavv has been excellent so far, I've been enjoying it a lot! :> Shoma's an absolutely delightful protagonist, and the balance between "cute silly candy shenanigans" and "urban fantasy crime noir" is...working surprisingly well, actually?

although it does lead to the show basically having two modes:

[umblrspectrum]

how do lighting and shading work

[mellohiizz]

finally managed to finish this. i forgot how fun it is to draw pretty girls, so here's some more genderbend ls designs :3 they're a little rushed, but i still like them.

[the-crooked-library]

here's the thing. yes hannibal is gleeful and yes will is brooding, BUT:

hannibal is a meticulous planner, a polyglot, a genius, nigh unstoppable in a fight but always opting for prep time whenever possible, the wealthy owner of a gothic-style ancestral estate; he sees himself as a manifestation of justice, is represented visually by a leathery-black animal/human creature, had a childhood defined by a family loss, maintains a secret basement, and has a flouncy, cheerful, socialite public persona

will is a nobody from nowhere - "always the new boy at school," no family, no close friends, no past where he would be remembered; he is also a genius, but his most dangerous trait as a killer is that he is chaotic, disorganized, vicious, artistic but impulsive, ruining his own carefully-laid plans on a whim; he has successfully seduced an employee of a mental hospital into killing in his name, and he is a jealous little bitch, ruled by his emotions first and foremost

they're dancing to the same tune as batjokes, just in reverse

[tiffanyachings]

interpersonal drama! at canaan house

[hemlock-dreams]

Your Kraven post you just made is making my brain spin like a microwave going at Mach speed like 1. Hot 2. Very hot 3. The mental image of Wade having a jealous no good very bad time over Spidey and Kraven is absolutely hilarious. I can only Imagine the hijinks and chaos

Wade does not like Kraven. Kraven does not get to pass go. He does not get to collect $200.

[peacockrulz]

An Well Made Excuse To Post My Specific Headcanons I've Had Since The Show Came Out

[galpalo]

Just realized something funny

A hunk means “a large, strong, sexually attractive man.”

“Brain scrambled enough to have a kid”

“If my wife’s closet is right, the planets gonna try to eat us soon”

If this is not the definition of “married” I have no clue what is I frickn love them.