#I want to see them happy SO BAD
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the line from Dane about nowhere being safe when Max was talking about going to Lucyâs vault is so hard-hitting like there really is nowhere for them to go away from corruption and violence⊠and yet⊠maybe safe would just be with each other. maybe home isnât a place but another person.
#vaultknight#these two are doomed#itâs star crossed lovers type shit#like its almost destined to fail and yet⊠and yetâŠ#agdhsyddhv#dhdd de vrgegsgdgvdsg#I am holding out HOPE#I want to see them happy SO BAD#lucy x maximus#fallout#fallout tv#fallout spoilers
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The Mikes and Vanessas celebrate 10 years of FNAF!
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#mike schmidt#fnaf vanny#fnaf vanessa#vanessa afton#vanessa shelly#freddy fazbear#fnaf movie#security breach#fnaf anniversary#HAPPY FNAF anniversary week!!!#I WANTED to draw a lil thing in celebration đ#Iâll probably draw more things throughout the week in celebration#no doubt Iâll have more to draw after announcements/games drop#SUPER excited !!#SO OBVIOUSLY Michael and Vanessa are very excited for the anniversary#they still like Freddyâs after all#they need any excuse they can get to have a good time#though Mike and Vanny arenât as enthusiastic you could say#Mike think they probably shouldnât celebrate at all#seeing theyâve only had bad things happen to em đ#and Vanny is just not even arguing just straight up nah#I bet theyâll get more into the spirit as the week goes on tho đ©”đ#itâs been awhile since Iâve last drawn all 4 of them together!!#so felt the most fitting for rn they return the crew ever
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âAfter 200 years, you can forget how much color there is in the world.â
#my art#astarion#astarion and halsin#halsin#halstarion#<- gift for my lovely friend#Astarion deeply has my heart though#I have caught the BG3 bug BAD#i just want him to be happy#baldurs gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanart#I just canât stop thinking about how beautiful the world must be to him now that he can see it again#itâs almost like a second chance#at loving the world around him#and halsin could show him so much#also the flower is a white amaryllis#which is supposed to represent new beginnings.#anyway i love them
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they should've been at the club(infertility treatment centers)
#like guys. be real with me. how many options did you even try before turning to dark magic#nothing about the situation called for all thatđ#in my mind they're like 22 and 25 here which makes it all even funnier#guys please just adopt a dog or somethingđ#nothing about either of you screams ready for parenthood#im so happy adrien agreste exists but the circumstances of his birth are so ridiculous#there is so much gabe and emilie couldve done besides this. they could have done anything#honestly knowing them(<-girl who believes she knows them) im not even convinced the infertility treatment wasnt working#I think they just both were so allured by the concept of a magic baby#they were like six months in and hadn't gotten pregnant yet and were like. well. I guess we're out of options! dark magic it is!#and made it everyone else's problem forever#these two wanted to be doomed by the narrative SO bad#honestly though being a 22 year old girl I kind of yet it. sometimes I see a cute baby and want one so bad maybe I too would use dark magic#maybe emilie agreste was just a girl.#anyway. sorry adrien that your parents were Like This but it is so so funny#anna rambles#ml#gabriel agreste#emilie agreste
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[ cw: trauma / mind control / separation anxiety / autophobia / ]
Something that kills me is that thereâs no way in hell that Raphâs debilitating separation anxiety isnât infinitely worse after the movie. The trauma of being Krangified like that, all alone, would probably regress him so hard.
Not to mention his worries of getting âweirdâ would likely get mixed up with his experience while Krangified - aka, he loses full awareness, and when heâs brought âbackâ itâs to the understanding that he attacked his own family (of course not to his own fault at all, but how much of that does he believe?)
The fear of being alone would take on another layer and become a fear of himself.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#trauma /#mind control /#separation anxiety /#autophobia /#codependency mention in tags /#after the invasion he checks up on the others multiple times and guiltily hopes one of them asks to stay with him for the night#heâs the big brother so it feels - wrong. to ask them to stay with him.#but his plushies donât have heartbeats. and neither did the krang#and guiltily - guiltily - Raph is relieved when someones doing bad enough to stay with him each night#he doesnât know it but the others see he needs it so they offer#man idk I just want Raph to be safe and happy#me having Raph feels at 3 am#I raise you: codependent Raph and Leo post invasion#they both dealt with losing the other#going from fighting and high tensions pre invasion to being scared to leave each othersâ side post invasion#god wait this concept is so sad wait#but it works#may address this in a later post/fic ngl
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North and Simon: (shaking hands on killing Simon potentially)
#detroit become human#north wr400#simon pl600#markus rk200#josh pj500#jericho is just... so funny to me as like. how they function (or dont)#like im v glad that i did a Good Job my first run and no one hated me but i also felt like a very distraught parent#in regards to how markus is just able to either hurt them (by suggestions OF THE OTHERS IN THE GROUP)#or help them because hey what the fuck i just dragged simon to safety and now north wants me to kill him#and then simon like oh no north got shot you should leave her BUT ! i saved her and made simon happy#so its like you know what they have to have some animosity but also respect#i feel like i wanna see more of north and simon being buddies ... and i might have to do that myself#but i also apologize if this is ooc for them because i really did only just play through once and got a not good end#i probably missed a lot of lore and stuff so im v sorry if im Messing Them Up#its currently just me liking their designs and vibes and hoping im not ruining other fans lives by being wrong#and i honestly dont know when north would kill simon but hes on her possible victims list#so since both of their victim lists include themselves for suicide it just reminded me of the meme#with im so mad im gonna (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health)#and it was like yeah watch north be like im gonna (well if i cant kill myself because markus said no suicide) murder someone
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it youâre lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.
Sheâs whatâs tethering him do you see⊠And heâs the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.
Theyâre both so out of it đ Itâs the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? Theyâre each otherâs weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though sheâs also the guard attack hound keeping him safe⊠And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. Theyâre both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They canât perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked. We both havenât lived for ourselves in a very long time, havenât we.
They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it itâs ok heâs not all alone in the end đđ He reached out for Marcilleâs hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, itâs okay Iâm okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because theyâre h-u-n-g-r-y đđđ
I bet heâs only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him theyâre tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 ThistlesâŠ... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you canât suppress her in the way that matters. You canât soothe him in the way that matters. Itâs doomed. Youâre doomed. Itâs all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#Iâm seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that itâs gonna get you killed#Itâs good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc heâs bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT ITâS WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasnât socialized in a long#time and he wouldnât if it wasnât a tool he needed to interact with BUT itâs still socialization and itâs getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#Howâs that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY theyâre so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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#Elmyra approving of Zack makes me so happy đ FF7 Rebirth 20 / ?
#final fantasy vii#ffgraphics#elmyra gainsborough#zack fair#gamingedit#ff7 remake#ff7 rebirth#ff7#elmyra#ff7 rebirth spoilers#rebirth spoilers#creaciones#i always thought she'd come to love him if only they had the chance to meet#glad to see it's exactly what happened :')#if zerith reunited she'd be so happy for them đ„ș#knowing aerith would have the best boyfriend ever by her side#someone who would always take care of her no matter what#someone who would do the impossible just to make her happy#and he's good with kids too. like đ„°#zack already calls aerith's home HIS home i'm gonna go crazy#sorry for the fangirling but akhssjd if part 3 doesn't have them reunite and live together i'm gonna riot#the three of them deserve happiness!!!#and also i want zack to contact his parents so bad :( they deserve to see their son again#i'm making myself sad. i'm gonna stop now lol
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I've come to the conclusion that being assigned the fandom-mandated "sunshine character" is the worst possible fate a character could face
#maybe I'm just biased because the characters that this happens to tend to be some of my favorites but I think I'm onto something#these characters aren't allowed depth of emotion or complex inner worlds. once a character is fanonized as the 'ray of sunsine'#or the 'cinnamon roll' they cease to occupy any space outside of that role in fanon content. they're happy & silly & not much else#no matter how much depth they may actually have in canon.#popular fanon has a tendency to treat happiness & goodness like states without any emotional complexity.#emotional complexity is reserved for the anti-heroes & jerks-with-a-heart-of-gold you see.#atp 'X is a ray of sunshine' has begone to feel like code for 'I don't actually care about this character very much nor do I understand#their canon narrative so I'm just gonna ignore them 98% of the time. but hey they're really nice! that's something! anywaysâ'#this is about many characters but I particularly want to call out aang & nightcrawler / kurt wagner as two who get this the worst.#because christ the mischaracterization they get from people who never think about them outside of the 'uwu small bean' box is infuriating#also steven universe & miles morales. although it's not so bad for steven after suf#fandom bs#please pretend I typed 'begun' a few tags back
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okay a few more danyal al ghul au memes because i think they're funny to make. with bonus yaelokre danyal memes!
yaelokre! danyal đ€ threes! danyal: being five years older than damian
yaelokre danyal comes from my oneshot right here. however, i would frankly recommend reading the version i put on ao3 because it's been edited and includes more content! shout out to my boy, he's got amnesia </3
Do i think that the LOA has technology in it? Absolutely I do. LED lights but in 3000k warm white instead of the jarring bright sterile white, if they've got glass windows they're those solar panel glass panes my college natural science building uses that detects sunlight position, which in term controls the lights, which in turn saves energy. Amber lights for outside, solar panels. Just. anything environmentally sound and friendly, they've got it, they use it.
Do i think they've got computers and tvs lying around for casual recreational use? ....that i'm not so sure about. For this au? I'm gonna say nooooottt really. That stuff is typically reserved for like, mission planning, debriefing, research, etc. Frankly danny probably does know how to use a computer, however i thought it was funny if he didn't. so the meme is staying in lmao.
If they're not training, they've probably like, got a greenhouse or two somewhere on base they can help with. The LoA's whole thing is balance, harmony, restoring the natural world with extreme environmentalism. All that jazz. Probably plenty of ponds, recreational areas outside, gardens, just, stuff to do that's not technology based. My most basic understanding is that these people are the world's deadliest hippies. They can't be training all the time, that's neither good for morale nor for their bodies, so when they're not training... they're off doing shit. If Ras has kept this thing running for thousands of years then itâs gotta be pretty lit enough that nobodyâs revolted lmao.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#danny fenton is not the ghost king#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#amnesiac danyal al ghul au#yaelokre danyal al ghul#hey i finally came up with an au name for my main danyal al ghul au! oh man i have so many posts to reblog. its called#things in threes au#im a good mom talia truther nobody @ me. the villanization of her character stems from post 9/11 racism that's slowly being undone#and there's not enough good mom talia aus in danyal al ghul aus. not ones i've seen at least.#Ras is not an idiot if he's kept this organization running for millennia. If he wants his warriors to be in top shape they *need* breaks#they need high faith and good morale to prevent dissension. Which means good food. things to do. socialization. things to keep them *happy.#Too much exercise is just as bad as not enough and your body will forcibly shut down if you do not do it yourself. Ras can't have that.#of course there's always ruling with an ironfist and dictatorship. but the league would not have lasted as long as it has if that were the#case.#ras may be a shit grandfather in threes but its still up in the air for yaelokre#weâll see where the wind blows for him. the au is still young
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dream visit (nostalgia) - a 2nd anniversary katfl comic
#wooo wooo yayyyy uayyy happy anniversary#happy birthday elfilin and elfilis my beloveds#kirby#wybs art#elfilin#fecto elfilis#idk if i should tag this as forgo#katfl#LOTS of talking abt this piece in the tags below#i wanted to do some kinda thing and I got this idea for a comic#so i just kinda went in and did it messy#not really worrying too much about how it looked#and I like how it came out I think#even if elfilin looks kinda bad at some parts#kind of a sequel to my old dream visit post?#that one I gave elfilis/forgo the tunic script but I didnât feel like doing it this time#this one i was kinda thinking about like. ok#identity and stuff and how it differs for them#i know forgo and elfilis are 2 separate entities#but i like drawing elfilis#so i think in this dream scenario where they can kinda be whatever#theyâd show themself as elfilis#because thatâs what they are trying to become again anyways#and really elfilin is only a small part of the whole#so forgo IS far more âelfilisâ than elfilin would be#similarly they just keep saying âiâ whereas elfilin sees that form and thinks âweâ#forgo being kind of self centered: they donât need elfilin to achieve their goals#that being destruction which elfilin would inhibit#except they do to actually become elfilis again#idk whatever I should stop talking
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me â I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
[ Transcript continued â ]*
â
Pac: Actuallyâ that's fine! I embrace that idea â of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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If u consistently choose kindness on the internet in comment sections and dms and content I love you.
#chatterbox#I See so many people always trying to stir the pot or cause arguments or take everything in bad faith just as an excuse for being mean#and itâs very demotivating as a human being . like wanting to exist in a world like that#however. kindness and love and joy is everywhere you look too. and it is a decision you can make .#shakes everyone by the shoulders I NEED SOMETHING TO BE DONE ABOUT THE WORLD WE LIVE IN#I love love and whimsy and happiness and i want everyone else to enjoy those feelings too#đIMMA DRAW HAPPY CREEPED ART#DRAWN TOO MANY OF THEM FIGHTING AND GLARING AND COVERED IN WOUNDS#sucker when she gets somber before a shift#I work with kids imma see little babies babbling around like waaahuuuhghhh < baby noises#and I work w my fave coworker today AND itâs a morning shift instead of closing shift . blessed#actually they might put me back in the hole today.#couple weeks ago I was climbing 20 feet in the air on netting with no support so I could cut down fans that were a ft from the ceiling LMFAO#I miss my old coworker he was absurd but he was always giving us side quests
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nawt super excited abt where my art style is going
#drew these in my car before work so theyâre really not great#i think javi looks like total shart but i have to post them together .. they are a pair. do not separate.#i hate tumblr because it feels so. clean to me#like i canât just post random silly things because i have to tag them for the sake of my own sanity but because of that Everyone Will See It#and it just makes me like :/ but i donât really waaaannnntttt thaaattt#idk#but posting is fun !1?2?2?#i miss twitter#anyway javieran#:(#save me javieran ⊠save me âŠâŠâŠ i miss them so much#iâm having a bad day today ⊠save me âŠâŠ.. please help me survive work âŠâŠâŠ#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#image#art#kieran duffy#javier escuella#hero draws sometimes#javieran#so happy to use that tag for literally any post i want because no one else uses it LOL itâs mine â€ïž iâve owned it since 2018 â€ïž
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literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped
A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence
an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felixâan angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliverâa prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.
thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag
A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn
a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in
alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship
The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]
how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired
may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn
alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay
Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry
a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion
a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such
least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn
if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me
edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if youâre interested in following these through to development!
#saltburn#saltburn posting#really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day#or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points#and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week#idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me#but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them#of course u are welcome to send them my way#i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver)#or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing#anyway#oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long#and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here#bambi#also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm#i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college#saltburn 101
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okay, a couple things on alien stage/ivantill that I think some folks maybe need to consider and internalize.
Till does not "need" to return Ivan's feelings in the slightest if he doesn't feel that way. It's heart wrenching to see Ivan love him and have those feelings unreturned, but please remember that no one is required to return romantic feelings for someone else. You can't make yourself love someone, and you shouldn't. Especially out of guilt or obligation. That's Unhealthy 101, and would only set a relationship up for failure. (I do think Till cared about Ivan, and that he's going to have a Guilt Complex based on the fact that he didn't fully notice Ivan's feelings/care toward him until the guy died, but I've seen a couple of people tear into Till for not noticing/reciprocating Ivan's feelings??? Don't do that??? their situation is shitty, the fact that they didn't get to talk is shitty, but please don't blame Till for things he Can't Control.)
The kiss was not consensual. It wasn't meant to be portrayed as such. It wasn't even really romantic, it was a desperate, selfish act that Ivan used to get Till's attention (in more ways than one) and to give himself some sense of closure before he died. It was him saying everything that he felt at once, with no chance for Till to reciprocate or deny the affection. In a perfect world, they could have talked instead of this, maybe kissed knowing both wanted it, or given Till a chance to refuse. But they're both in the middle of an essential death tournament and one of them is going to be murdered sometime in the next few minutes. Neither of them really wants to live, but Ivan feels he has unfinished business before his sacrifice, so he finishes it. Their situation sucks. That doesn't mean the kiss was consensual. (especially considering the theory/implication that Till was/is being sexually assaulted by aliens, I wouldn't be surprised if this affects him badly in the future, for multiple reasons. Everyone should always get the chance to say "no" and have that fully respected. This also extends to the fact that Ivan died for Till without giving him a chance to stop it, which is probably going to mess with Till's head a lot. Then again, Ivan likely didn't think it would affect Till much because as far as he/we know, the feelings aren't reciprocated in this moment in canon, or are extremely repressed. Ivan might believe that Till simply hates him, or the kiss/subsequent "choking" may have been a way of trying to make Till hate him so that his death wouldn't hurt as much. Of course that thinking is flawed, because it would hurt Till no matter what, but still, it makes me sad)
Ivan... is kinda messed up. I adore him, but we've got to acknowledge that he has little to no emotional and relationship maturity due to the fact that he was quite literally raised as a pet and learned at a young age to do whatever his masters said to keep himself safe and pain-free. His fascination with Till appears to largely stem from Till's sense of rebellion. Ivan's examples of relationship dynamics and what constitutes as "love" is dangerously unbalanced, and he does not know how to build a healthy relationship. (Neither of them do.) This is also built onto the fact that the person he became dependent on only paid attention to him when they were fighting or Ivan was annoying him. Ivan cares about Till desperately, but he is also dangerously reliant on him to the point of self-detriment. Again, in an ideal world, they would be able to get out of this situation and gradually make a healthy relationship/friendship (depending on Till's feelings) over time while starting to undo the dangerous relationship patterns that they fell into when they didn't have any way to know better. But they're in a terrible situation, and Ivan really just doesn't get the chance to grow as a person and realize that his sense of possessiveness and reliance on Till's attention isn't healthy.
Basically, their situation makes me want to sob and its heart wrenching. Their circumstances have set them up for failure. Both of them are in the midst of attempting to survive an abusive situation and massive amounts of dehumanization. I beg, please try not to sanitize their complicated relationship or blame either of them for the pain the other is going through. I've seen some of that going around, and it's making me sad :(
#don't get me wrong i Adore both of them and i want them to be happy#i am so unwell about them#i think their relationship is both heart breaking and fascinating#and i would love to see them in a consensual romantic relationship#but some folks have been... taking some stuff too far#maybe i just have a case of 'no one understands my blorbos better than me'#but it's been bothering me#alien stage#ivantill#alnst ivan#alnst till#alnst#i could also go into how mizisua manages to be a bit healthier in bad circumstances and why#while also acknowledging that their relationship probably wouldn't be considered âhealthyâ in a different situation#and how the codependence v. dependance dynamic is working in this series#but this post was getting... beefy#and also idk if i'm going to get FLAMED for this or not so *shrugs*#tw sa mention#tw unhealthy relationship#dehumanisation tw
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