#I want to grow with grace
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This is my goal for this year.
I hope you grow with grace this year, even if the path is rocky and rough. I hope you get closer to where and who you want to be.
#therapy thoughts#bpd#actually bpd#I've walked many rocky paths already#I want to grow with grace#working on myself#depression#anxiety#ocd#ed recovery
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Hey, I've seen a lot of reasonable discussions about Gabe's zionism and I thought his latest comment on his initial post would be worth sharing. It was posted about 20min ago
It's not a perfect response, but I think it honestly is pretty acceptable. What are your thoughts?
thank you very much for sharing this with me! though i’m, of course, no expert on this my initial reaction to reading that is to agree with you- it isn’t perfect, but the level of self-reclection and accountability being taken by him there Is better than anything i could’ve hoped for. it’s a step in the right direction, i think, and i can only hope he continues showing this level or more of growth and education on what is happening in palestine and that his previous behavior and statements were Not acceptable. perhaps it’s the bare minimum or Veryyy close to it considering the harmful rhetoric he had been sharing, but some level of growth from that is still reassuring to witness.
#so sorry if this isn’t as eloquent as i wanted it to be i’m very tired but wanted to answer this asap!!!#also i hope i’m not coming off as too graceful Or harsh on him or anything it’s kinda like. it’s a reassuring step but i hope it isnt all#we see yk? i hope he engages in more discussion and reflection that helps him grow further and something from fob would still be nice#but still! much better than anything i was hoping for. thank you again for sharing!#asks#alittleannihilati0n
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cw: harry potter, jk rowling, transphobia
I occasionally see posts/get messages about the various harry potter references in the bright sessions, etc. and I've gotten a bunch of new followers recently so just so any new/younger listeners of my shows know:
jk rowling is a terrible transphobe whom I hold zero respect for and I haven't given a dime of my money to her since she revealed who she truly is. I want the whole bright universe to be a safe space for trans people (including the trans folks in our cast and crew!) and if I could go back and remove those references, I would. but I can't! harry potter was an extremely significant part of my life until...well, until it became very clear who she really was. it makes me so sad to think that folks might be finding TBS now and get thrown out of the story by these references, but just know that the people who made the show do not stand by jk, and that in many ways, the show is a product of its time.
#the bright sessions#harry potter#jk rowling#transphobia#I know there's PLENTY to say about the bigotry in the actual books and I think there's a lot of merit to those criticisms#and I'll own to choosing not to see some of that stuff before all this went down bc the books were meaningful to me#(this is not HP specific - another beloved childhood book series that was EVEN more formative to me growing up)#(is also something I've grappled with in recent years bc I think the author is actually probably wildly misogynistic)#(even though he's never behaved badly (far as I know) in his public life - there's stuff in the text)#BUT ANYWAY#it can be so hard to remember that we didn't have ANY inkling of her bigotry in this regard until 2018#all of the original run of TBS was written before that#and I'll admit I gave jk the benefit of the doubt in 2018 re: her liking that tweet! I wanted to give her a chance to learn and grow#and she did....not do that#but TAMA was written in that little grace period#and then a few references in TCT were taken out during recording bc june of 2020 was when she really started to go mask off#and so we were making changes in real time#we didn't know what to do about quidditch#bc we were like 'this is a sport that people play in college and it's just called that?'#'and it's already canon that caleb plays?'#and it wasn't called quadball yet#anyway not trying to make excuses!#just know that none of those references were put in with any malice#and I guess I *could* go back and rerecord all those lines and replace them#but I know enough about my original audio engineering to know that it woudl be VERY hard to make it sound natural#and idk I do think there's something to be said for not covering up errors in old work#I'm not going to try to pretend HP wasn't important to me#EDIT: I've turned off reblogs for this post#also this is not me trying to tell other people how to approach their own HP fandom#fanworks especially - there's no benefiting jo in that - and I think it's totally legit for ppl to want to take HP as their own!
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all the michie vs jagerity discourse is so so silly.. holyghost being two toxic people making eachother worse is literally one of its main appeals- what is this moral fighting when both ships have toxic aspects.
"michie is this" "holy ghost is that" SHUT UPPPPPPPPPP
they both SUCK for the characters and that's what makes it FUN. Let people hate each other and be in god awful relationships, because it's fiction. Hell, make them fluffy if you want! If that brings you joy, go for it. The fandom needs to shut the fuck up about how both these ships are toxic BECAUSE WE GET IT!!! No one is claiming they're not toxic, some of us have terrible media literacy but I have yet to see a single person say either of those ships in canon are healthy. If you do, you're very wrong, however if you want to write them as fluff uwu cutesy couples, go for it. HELL PUT THEM IN A POLY RELATIONSHIP!!! Max/Richie/Grace. Idk maybe... The Holiest Dead Waifu. That's their ship name now (no it's not).
#starkid#team starkid#hatchetfield#michie#holy ghost#max jagerman#grace chasity#richie lipschitz#this argument is bullshit#grow the fuck up#touch some grass#or like take a walk#get off the internet#and just get a fucking life#this argument is bullshit at this point#this comes from someone who's neutral on both of those ships at this point#(although i was a big michie shipper when NPMD first came out)#if you want to judge me on my old michie phase go for it#i don't regret it and tbh i like the fics i wrote for it
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Just shouted “yOU HAD A MONTH to TELL HIM. you had a MONTH!!!” at the screen because LXC agrees to have Wangxian use “the conference next month” as an opportunity to search Jinlintai for NMJ’s head. And obviously LXC can’t tell JGY about WWX, or even about just MXY, but somewhere! In that month! He could have mentioned! Bringing guests!!!!
He also could have maybe given LWJ and WWX a heads-up about MXY being expelled for harassing QS (in this canon), since 1.) WWX can adjust his behavior around QS accordingly to ensure her comfort and 2.) the harassment appears to be common knowledge and maybe assuming the identity of a guy whom everyone in Jinlintai will view with suspicion is not conducive to conducting an investigation unnoticed!
#we’re entering the part of the show where I want to throttle Xichen#it’s not like he’s doing anything worse than either of his sworn brothers but when JGY and NMJ are clowning people notice#Nieyao’s whole situation is in fact the two of them being fed up with each other to the point of murder#while both viewing LXC as blameless or granting him a whole lot of grace they won’t grant each other#it’s an important feature of their mess and not a bug but MAN#all the little things pile up and if THEY won’t be irked then *I* will be irked for them!#(Wangxian get irked but it’s for stupid reasons. ‘what do you meeeean you don’t believe our evidence-free accusations’ GROW UP)#masala necromancy wizard hour
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i am once again astounded at the bsd fandom's ability to make everything about skk when, in fact, it has very little to do with skk
#this is about beast.#like okay i see the allure of beast!skk but seriously??? it's way overhyped#you just want to make everything about the only two characters you can bring yourself to care about when it is#NOT ABOUT THEM#BEAST ISN'T ABOUT SKK. BEAST IS BARELY EVEN ABOUT SSKK.#BEAST IS ABOUT THE INHERENT TRAGEDY OF HAVING A SIBLING AND WHAT DESTRUCTION THAT CAN CAUSE#beast is about what core characteristics of a person remain the same in every universe#and what is changed based on environment and circumstance#beast is about the unimaginable power and danger of platonic love#beast is about showing how the people around you help you grow - for better or for worse - and changing even just one person#in your constant vicinity can have rippling effects on the person you become in their absence. or in the presence of someone else.#beastskk is going to go straight to the top of my hate list THIS AIN'T ABOUT THEM!!!! THIS IS ABOUT LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE#ahem. anyway#i'm gonna get cancelled over this just wait#grace reads bsd
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#I think people treat others on here who share any sort of news like they’re actual professional journalists and we’re not#I genuinely don’t think a single person on here is#We’ve just taken it upon ourselves to share the news bc the actual journalists are the ones who mince words and have ulterior motives etc#But usually if someone on here makes a mistake it’s an honest one & they will rectify it if you notify them#You do not have to attack them or say they’re misleading on purpose like I think most ppl on here#Don’t have that sort of agenda. At least the ones who’re fighting for legitimate causes like Palestinian and Sudanese genocide etc etc#I just hope no one on here gets attacked in light of the Samara situation#I just think we should be more open to making mistakes instead of jumping to bad faith interpretations#News have to be accurate but mistakes r also ok and usually a simple communication resolves it#Tumblr is the bad faith interpretation website so I’m not surprised but I also think we need to be more graceful#Bc how else can anyone improve / learn more etc etc#Whenever someone on here shares an opposing opinion it’s not that I dislike that or want to intentionally suppress it#It’s usually just framed in a very inflammatory way that doesn’t even give me the opportunity to give my side and might motivate other ppl#To think I’m basically like a normal journalist who intentionally misleads 💀💀 I am An Iraqi Girl Who Is Trying To Help#At least this has taught me how to gracefully own up to mistakes and take accountability etc that’s pretty cool#Bc even w all that said I think it’s important to hold urself accountable if u do make a mistake regardless of intention.#We just shouldn’t demonize making mistakes bc how can someone grow Ok I’m done
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the trans inclusive radical feminism tag is such a clusterfuck holy SHIT 😭
#dont look yall... just dont#im.. :|#its cos theres no coherent trans inclusive radical feminist community#i just do tirfism to differentiate myself from terfs but plenty of people want to do this because terfs are insane#and bc tirf describes what i believe#most annoying to me r the ppl in the tag who have the same beliefs as terfs but don't think they are bc they dont call trans ppl slurs :|#much growth... very reality#i would fight these people verbally on my account if i was not trying to grow from petty discourse#Unspecified Higher Power give me grace
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First of all, you have given me so much to work with, thank you so much. Second of all, I’m really glad you could see where I was going with Grant’s real test not actually being about killing Slade. Third of all, I absolutely love what you’ve suggested with the powers and I am currently designing met gala esque outfits for the trio and Tara’s specifically is really fun to play around with. I’ve been thinking to show they’re becoming more divine I’ll change their hair and eye colours but not their faces for the most part. I was drawing robin Jason with Natalia and decided he should have brown eyes and a crooked nose from breaking it as a kid but once he returns his eyes get weird (eg go blue and occasionally other colours), a patch of his hair went white and he lost all of his scars. Also, I think the closer they get to divinity I’m gonna draw cracks on their body that glow with their specific colours just to hammer home how they’re shedding their mortal forms.
With Tara being able to see the strings of fate, I though it’d be fun to give her a harp and then with Jason having the see no evil trait I thought it’d be fun to give him weighing scales since lady justice wears a blindfold. Idk what to give Grant though. I mean probably a weapon of some sort or maybe a Shepard’s crook that he can turn into a scythe to play into the sheep, wolf, Hunter thing.
With Jason and Tara’s splintering, I love the idea of them making fun of Grant for being the baby god. He hasn’t even had a cult yet, gosh he’s so young. Also them being besties just holds a special place in my heart.
And I just came up with this, of course they have parallels to the trinity but in universe rumours of their existence have been around much longer than Bruce, Clark and Diana. They’re the big three of the justice league but these guys are justice gods. So they start calling themselves the justice trinity but then people get confused about which trinity is which because the justice leagues’ trinity sounds awfully close to the justice gods’ trinity. The new all caste is certainly more distinctive branding but the point isn’t to be distinctive, it’s to be petty.
I'm so glad my unmedicated rambling helped!!! And I'm so excited for the outfits!!! I love when characters start becoming less and less human, when they're stuck in that uncanny valley spot of not quite human but not entirely Other, when they lose control and the cracks start to show...um I should probably give a warning for slight body horror elements. Not in the gore sense, in the "this body is not made of flesh and there is something divine clawing it's way out". Uh also there are teeth. Just. Teeth. I dipped into a little bit of cosmic horror at the end there because I wanted to cover my bases with mixed mythologies
Jason, with his defined splinters, is usually depicted with three faces in ancient texts. The Child, gaunt and dark colored, is said to appear before the downtrodden and impoverished. The few stories remaining tell of kindly people who give him an offering, and in exchange he reveals his true form, with his crown of golden ivy and beautiful strong wings to gift them bounties of food and water and riches. Other stories tell of not so kind encounters, where The Child witnesses an injustice - typically against women or children - and again reveals his true form, one with clawed hands and a mouth dripping with blood. Scholars argue what the wings looked like, but whichever All-Caste member annotated it before has compared their likeness to either a Robin or a Shrike.
There's also The Ghost, He appears young at first glance, but his hair is wirey and gray, his eyes milky and unseeing, in bloodied armor he greets the souls of the damned as they're delivered to him, and with scarred hands he wipes the tears of children taken too soon. Accounts of this face are few and far between, but all of them are entrenched in sorrow.
Finally there is The Soldier, scarred and still smoking from the ruins of battle he emerges, giving voice to the weak and resources to the needy. He champions revolutionaries and philosophers first, a strategist who delights in the liberation of the people from corrupt systems. Accounts of him usually come from times of famine and war, and he was particularly popular with poor villages, who would mark the graves of their dead with the symbol of his sword as offerings. For some reason or other, he got particularly popular with the youth, girls and boys both seemed to pray for him and leave him offerings.
The way these manifest on Jason is subtle at first. I could go the body horror route, but I won't. Yet. Instead I think his splinters show up as reflections, shadows, imprints. The faint echo of bell-like laughter when Jason does a move he learned as Robin, the image of a younger him with longer hair and unblinking eyes staring at him in the mirror. It gets worse when he gets the blades, the white streaks his hair, the swirling mark covers more of his skin every time he uses them, he trails the scent of smoke and blood behind him like a signature. His scars...they should disappear. They have for everyone else who used the pit, but instead his skin starts cracking. Any place he's ever been scarred glowing cracks break up his skin. He can't feel them, but he's always aware of them, the meaning behind them, the divinity literally leaking through his body. His eyes aren't brown anymore. They aren't even green. He looks in the mirror and they are copper, molten and burning. He tries his best to keep his mask on.
What do you think of when you imagine the word divinity? Probably something like Tara. Something with skin carved from stone, with moss and fungus crawling up her legs and snow laden shoulders. They say her hair is made of swirling clouds and the sun and moon are her eyes.
Some say she's a nymph although no one knows what kind. You're just as likely to see her name among the naiads as the dryads. Whether flowers bloom where she dances or waves crash when she sings, she's known to be more vicious towards suitors than her sisters.
Others have said she's a faerie, who takes the faces of lost daughters and lovers, slipping into their places seamlessly, forcing unruly men to pay their dues. Others say she's a shifter of a different sort, with a shawl of feathers and a crown of twine and gems. Stories range from men trying to steal her coat (and paying dearly) to lost children returned safely home on the back of a swan.
Tara doesn't think about it at first, the way gravity tends to cede to her, she doesn't notice how sunflowers turn their faces towards her instead of the sun. She doesn't notice the way her face...shifts. it's imperceptible really, and it's not like she looks in the mirror all that often. But everyone around her notices it, on some level, the way her expressions are off. A little too exaggerated. The way her limbs bend just a little too oddly. The way she never looks quite the same as she did the day before, the way she picks up features from the people around her the way she picks up rocks from ground to add to her collection. Clay molded subtly into the image of those she loves, a museum of everyone she's ever met. She does notice when her hair starts going white at the ends, the strange way her hair starts to curl unnaturally, almost floating. She's not so upset about her eyes, the deep blue of her father that has glared down at her day after day, she has changed her hair, her face, her language but she could not change her eyes. It seems she didn't have to, when she wakes up with one a little too silver to be gray and one a little too gold to be brown. And then her skin starts splitting, a cavern made from a broken rib and ravines made by the slashing of knives. She doesn't even bleed anymore, they never scab over. They crystallize, amber like ambrosia, like ichor. Her body a geode waiting to be cracked open to let the thing within finally break free.
They know the least about Grant, whatever he used to be. Half written scrolls, torn or burnt or simply stopped abruptly, illegible journal entries with symbols never recorded in any known language, half finished sketches where the details are never quite clear. A few things are usually consistent though, signs that he's been there, usually from hunters down on their luck or the particularly old and sickly. First, the howling. Like a wolf or a storm, although later accounts would add that it occasionally sounds like a mechanical whirring. Then the rabbits, dead and gutted, but not a trace of blood. Piles of them left in heaps on doorsteps or windowsills. Some have reported knocking at strange hours or finding teeth in their homes, a mix of human and animal. There is one photo on record, the most recent thing in the archive most likely, of claw marks on the side of a barn, too big and oddly serrated, certainly not from anything native to the area. Elderly that report these phenomena typically pass from heart problems within the week, according to some of the old medical files.
Grant came back wrong. Physically, at least. He knows that he's still himself for the most part, dying didn't make him a selfish asshole he did that all on his own, but...but something is wrong with him. It's the way lightbulbs flicker when he's mad and how cameras, no matter the quality, never quite get a clear shot of him. The way Joey can't ever grasp his features, not fully, the details slipping from his mind like water. The way eyes on his face slide right past, unable to look directly at him. It's in the gray spreading from his roots and his eyes too wide and dark to belong to something human. It's the way death clings to him like a second skin, sickly and pallid turning the tips of his fingers gray. His teeth are starting to feel too sharp for his mouth, and he hears things no one else does, whispers of voices that Are Not and Can't Be. The worst part is the orange, liquid candlelight under his skin, lighting up all of his veins and scars, webbing together like the world's worst game of connect the dots. No, there is no mistaking him for something human, so there is no reason to try. If this is his fate then he will take it, because he is not a sheep and he will not be a wolf, he is a hunter, and he is hungry.
#Jason as a Christ like figure is funny to me#Imagine growing up with a Catholic mother going to church praying for her health#and then you find out your soul predates the mf AND he plagiarized you 😒#that's more sad than funny but you get the picture#I also wanted them all to be represented by prey animals that are actually known for being really aggressive#like birds are typically seen as Docile but Shrikes are vicious assholes#and Swans which are coveted for their grace and beauty but are actually FERAL#it also marks Grant yet again as the odd one out by not giving him a bird#I gave him a rabbit because while I did consider a sheep it didn't work as well#Rabbits aren't dangerous to humans but they are aggressive to each other and won't hesitate if you push them#but they're also very sought after for hunting and as pets#I think Tara should have a very Changeling type vibe#y'know a little bit of fae energy#Grant is very much like a cryptid to me#cryptozoology is pretty new and people are still spreading stories about them#so it feels appropriate for a younger god to be associated with#there's also every chance he DID exist before the recorded records of him#but for some reason or other there's just less of him mentioned#Jason Tara and Grant have always been three after all#So what's obscuring Grant's mythology? fun little mystery 😉#dc#jason todd#tara markov#grant wilson#New All Caste au#also I have a whole Pinterest board dedicated to Tara and fancy clothes for her#because she has SO MANY INTERESTING AESTHETICS#I also really like your skin cracking idea so I tried to individualize it a little 😊#Grant's did get kind of body horror though
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standing by my angel!cas endgame truth while also kicking my feet and giggling writing cute domestic human!cas post-canon fics. a woman can do both
#i like a semihuman cas who is still an angel in every way that matters but loves eating dean's cooking and falling asleep together#sweetest softest headcanon is that cas chooses to temporarily become human to live out dean's normal human lifespan and grow old together#and then when dean is about to die (of old age!!!!) cas takes his grace back so they can cross into heaven together as angel + human#while on earth he puts a little bit of it in dean's wedding ring or smth#i have thought about the logistics of this btw. because cas would always want a bit of his grace close for emergencies.#so even before they're Married dean has a little vial of it#and cas has a little vial of it#and a third vial is in a vault in the bunker warded and protected#because also cas would want the opportunity to become an angel again at a moment's notice to save someone's life etc#also i like the idea that angels are actively maintaining their vessels so cas lets his physically age so they get old together#i wrote a fic about that :)
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listening to my parents rant about how disrespectful and impolite my little cousins are after they visited the last couple days is giving me a lot of insight into their parenting strategies for me and my sister
#the cousins are 5 and 7 so yes there are some manners that should have developed but also#there is not the slightest bit of grace or understanding with my parents here#i mean my mom was ranting about how the 5yo was being disrespectful when she got spooked by one of my dogs#(this dog is bigger than she is btw and she didn't grow up with dogs. he's a sweetheart but it's a reasonable anxiety)#and my mom just keeps going on and on about how 'if she listened to what we told her she wouldn't have gotten scared' and all that#and my dad being like 'they never say 'yes sir's or 'yes ma'am' they just go 'yeah'. there's no respect in the way they answer people'#again. these kids are 5 and 7. saying 'yeah' might be ruder than saying 'yes' but you really want them to use sir and ma'am all the time?#I just. ugh. and they're using me as an example for good behavior in childhood as if I wasn't a ball of anxiety the whole time
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no kind of relationship will ever be as impactful as the slightly toxic slightly homoromantic hyperdependent bestfriendship you had with someone when you were like 12
#I've realized lately that I think my whole life I've just been trying to recreate that lol#we could watch the world burn around us but as long as I have you in my arms I wouldn't care.#and then you grow up and grow apart and a gaping void has been left in my soul and no matter how hard I try it can never be filled#and there's no chance of getting it back either-- those 12 year old girls simply don't exist anymore#so I have to live the rest of my life yearning for a home that I can never go back to#this isn't supposed to be sad btw but like. idk lame wax poetic lmao#I think she's still on Facebook tho should I message her LOL#we haven't talked in like. 8 years#just like 'heyyy just wanted to let u know that I was in love with you and u completely changed my life and your influence still-#follows me to this day & I always hold u in good graces despite the wrongs we did to each other and I still love you in some estranged way#I wish you the best and I'm sorry I missed your birthday for the past 8 years ♥️ I hope ur doing well bye !!!!'#pls tell me I'm not the only one who experienced this LMFAO#personal post
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It occurred to me the other day that Asbel is the only party member without *any* sort of spell artes. I guess friendship really is his magic 😅
#dolphin plays graces again#It suits his character though to be the aggro tank. He's protecting the others 😤#Him and Sophie both have high defense actually which makes sense they're both sacrificial idiots. i love them 💜💜#With Sophie out of the party rn (Lambda laser to the chest 😔) and me wanting to try other characters I now have a party of all spellcasters#The strategy seems to be 'ok ONE of us is going to have a bad time but as long as everyone else is fine our explosions can keep happening'#Richard and Hubert are strong in melee actually they're just so frail they keel over at the slightest touch 😅 drama kings.#Sorry for all the gameplay meta rambling the combat system's definitely growing on me as I figure it out more#Though the only character Im actually good w is Asbel 😅 I'm a melee player myself and like I said he's the only exclusive one#I should play Sophie more but she's the best healer and I need her on that 🙏#Cheria's great for big heals and big spell damage but Sophie can heal quickly and reliably#Which is important bc RICHARD AND HUBERT KEEP DYING 😩#Pascal and Malik mostly do fine but I think Pascal is just Better Malik 😅 sorry Captain#anyway those are my thoughts on the battles. no idea if my experiences are normal or if I'm just bad at this game 😅
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when the feeling of missing out on your life comes in the middle of a day
#ending this baka life right here 😐#i feel like im unable to make friends and will never have the life i want to live#literally worst feeling ever#i feel pathetic sometimes because my one side says - bitch get up u will meet new ppl and grow with grace its not gonna be like rn forever#and the other says - u will die with regret ☠️#ilay.txt
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i need to get my hair cut so bad
#it’s literally been growing out since last halloween when i chopped it all off for the maki cosplay#i don’t think i want to go quite that short again but. it’s too long#hello grace here#man i don’t even know if there are any good haircut places around here. not that i have money anyway 🫠
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i am perfectly capable of hurting people and being insufferable. i realize this. and it doesnt make me an inherently bad person, it makes me just like everyone else.
#though what i want to do is strive to be better#to be kind and graceful and self aware#moving forward#in that way i can distinguish myself i think. i hope#i think often of the quote 'people might not remember you but theyll remember how you made them feel'#i want to leave people better than i found them#and i have to forgive myself for past mistakes even if no one else will#because im stuck with me until i die. i am only owed my own lifelong commitment#im trying man#i just want to be remembered fondly#i didnt have any good examples of healthy relationships growing up#and im not trying to blame everything on my childhood#im responsible for my actions and my behavior#but like im doing the best i can with what i know in the moment#ive never intentionally tried to be cruel. not unprovoked anyway#of that im proud of#i just want to be better#let sleeping dogs lie and whatnot. move on and try again with new people#i cant spend my whole life looking behind me#things happened the way that they did.#ill be ok#im trying. im trying my best. and my best isnt good enough for everyone and thats ok too#i feel such an intense guilt but i dont know how to atone#ramsey speaks
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