#I want to get this game out of my head
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LONG POST ABOUT MUSIC AHEAD
This is mainly going to be my ramblings, which I don't normally like to do but here we are.
Recently I've started playing through a game called Lobotomy Corporation by Project Moon. If you have never heard about it, its a base management sim, with visual novel elements to tell you the story, where the goal is to work on and research different monsters to generate energy for your company.
In general the game has a large variety of tracks, but you will mostly just be stuck with one throughout normal play.
This song has a few different versions so you don't get bored, but it will be what you are listening to for the majority of your time playing. As you progress through the day, sometimes things don't go your way and an Abnormality (what the monsters are referred to) escapes. When this happens the game will change the song to one of the emergency tracks. I will refer to them as "Trumpets" as that is what will flash on your screen in game when they happen.
The First Trumpet sets the tone that something is going wrong. The calm atmosphere of the neutral track has given way to the forboding of an alarm. The track gets progressively more tense as it goes on while you are trying to take care of whatever it is that started it in the first place, with it hitting its full stride at about 1:50. If you manage to take care of the problem, then we go back to the neutral track, but if things continue to get out of hand then the game progresses to The Second Trumpet. Usually after an employee death or from multiple abnormalities breaching at once.
If the First Trumpet is "things are going wrong, but everything is still manageable" then the Second Trumpet is "get your act together before everything falls apart."
This song FUCKS. It is immediately pulse pounding. A different kind of alarm is sounding in the beginning now, and rightfully sets the mood that shit is hitting the fan. This game isn't really easy, by the way, so this songs bpm will probably be matching your heart rate. :3
These emergency tracks are absolutely stellar, but if you are careful then you will not hear them all too often which is a shame...
That is until you get to the games boss battles.
After you progress to a certain point, you are able to take on fights that symbolizes one of your colleagues regrets. The day starts off with the Second Trumpet already playing, telling you that something is wrong right away. Going through your tasks tells you that something fundamental has changed, whether it be the work you assign is not right or the training your clerks had is gone now.
At a certain point through the day, the Second Trumpet goes away and leads into that colleagues theme. This is where I fell in love.
I am not going to go over every track, but I do want to pick my favorite 2.
This song is about a man who is extremely logical and by the numbers to a fault. His trauma was such that after an employees death he became obsessed with following the rules and safety. Wanting control to guarantee the lives of those around him, but never quite being enough. This song is about a man who couldn't save those important to him.
This song is about a man who has seen too much. Someone who is directly in charge of safety. Wanting to do what he can, but becoming dejected when he realizes it will never matter. Employees will come, and all will only leave in body bags. This song is about a man who has given up, and has decided to die.
All of the songs in this game are incredible, but these boss themes really feel like they really belong to the character they are for. You feel their story through their music.
I have purposefully been incredibly vague, because I genuinely think everyone should play this game. I only wanted to gush a little about the music that I love, but the game and the story are what it is all for.
Please play Lobotomy Corporation. You will regret it. No really, this game is really hard and will make you cry.
#lobotomy corporation#long post#I want to get this game out of my head#But unfortunately i think its here to stay#Fuck you project moon. I love you.
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draining his balls making him cum over and over again just so he'll pass out and finally get a good night's sleep >>>>
#hikey#i love him so much and just want him to get good sleep and rest knowing he's loved and cared for#ya know???#i love taking care of a dom with as much tenderness and care as they do for me as their sub#like ideally he'd be passed out with his head in my lap while i play cozy games and watch him sleep#my sweet boy lil cutie pie baby#🫛
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jeremy knox sketch because i love abitta crisp bleached hair in my life
#naturally blonde jeremy get out of my head i know who you are#jeremy knox i would NOT want to switch places#sorry jean but you’re a smelly rat 😿#the sunshine court#all for the game#tsc#digital art#aftg fanart#aftg#jean moreau#jeremy knox
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always by your side
#couuugh. whehezze#hold on#project sekai#emu otori#pjsk#prsk#proseka#ok thatsg enough RANK 96 COOOOOGUH WHEEEZE#literlaly cough wheez ei have fucking covid. i wanted to draw something nicer for the event but my hands rlly hrut snd my throat hirts and#i was sticking my head in the freezer in between matches.#omfg i didnt think the end sprint was gonna be so insane i didnt have enough energy. mfers made me spend 700 gems. nene please.#i never wanna open the game agaon.(guy who will open it tomorrow and sunday) 16 MIL POINTS.. pimh was only 9mil. for rank 80smth.#the hatsune miku colorful stage tiering economy is in shambles#'im never doing that again' [will do it again in august]#event was insane. started out ill -> only 1 rate up card -> charger broke -> assignments -> covid on the last day. Be fr#to my beloved sakurako and fixer i wub you. ill try to finish my nice profile but well honk mimimi.#NSIFFLKE. SNIFFLE. WAAAAAAH#this is so lazy but i havent drawn for myself literally in a week. other than doodles i did between matches#actually theyre like little bobblehead emus all over my sketchbooks i should collage them into anpost#idk how people get that subtle gaussian blur on their lines i tried it but it looks so obvious to me here.. maybe bc i used a thick brush..#ok wonderhoy i need to lay down so bad tylenol save me. I ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED MY LOZENGE IN THE MIDDLE OF A GAAAAAME
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bait / hook / line / sinker
#the hunger games#finnick odair#thg#the hunger games fanart#this was a very very weird painting for me.#like i have painted decapitated heads and severed arms and shattered ribs and guts falling out and gallons of blood#and not once have i ever looked up from my work and been disgusted or disturbed by what i’ve painted#but the first day i was working on this one i looked at it and just felt so sick i had to get up and take a shower to get away from it#HE WAS 14 WTF WTF WTF WTF#that is a baby. that is a little kid. turned into a killer and paraded around like a novelty and used like a toy.#but on the whole i am very satisfied with this propaganda piece it's just as beautiful and unsettling as i wanted it to be#ugh my mind. nothing in the composition is overt but all the implications are there#not just the capitol's sexualization and brutalization of children but the fetishization of the districts' labor as well#as my good friend and mutual theworldiswhispering said.#'the hard labor you do is not safe from being romanticized by the people who benefit from it at your expense'#and i think about that every day#wherefore art thou#thg reread#why he so smooth.. just like a shark#[katniss voice] mfs took all my body hair cant have shit in the capitol#i just know tumblr's gonna crunch the quality of these images but i worked on a canvas 4 times larger than the usual size#so a lot of the detail gets lost when i post it. oh well. click for quality i guess#his expression changes when you're far away#far away he looks kind of vacant#close up he's smiling. like the photographer wanted a specific cocky emotion from him and it was there#but when you zoom out there's just a thousand yard stare#i did think about turning these into prints or actual posters but um. i don't think i should do that
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i like how mellow musician is short af compared to their bandmates, so i quickly sketched them lol
#designs will prob change but i just wanted to get them out of my head#no but seriously look at how small mellow is compared to cheering spectator in that one cutscene from performance#bro’s a sapling lmfao#they just like me frrrr#anyways i think they’re all neat#mellow musician#cheering spectator#twirling champion#season of performance#sky children of the light#sky cotl#that sky game#sky children of the light fanart#sky cotl fanart#fanart#character sketches
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I am so sorry, apparently it’s 2024 and I’m arguing about dragon age again lmao. How did I get here! Why is this happening!! Time is a flat circle!!!
Anyway. People can feel how they want about the past games not mattering in this game. If you’re cool with it, I’m happy for you. But there’s one particular argument in defence of this choice that is really, really bothering me and I have to rant
The thing I keep seeing is “well all this other stuff has nothing to do with the main plot or Rook, so it should be cut” and that’s. Not a good way to tell stories in my opinion. Because here’s the thing: it’s not about the Big Overall Plot. It’s about the characters that live in this world, big and small
I’m going to use the example of Varric and Hawke cause I think it’s the easiest to explain quickly. Varric is a storyteller. That’s the defining trait of his character. He tells stories, and sometimes they’re true and sometimes they’re not and sometimes it’s something in between. In DA2 he tells you about his brother. In inquisition, he talks about hawke and there’s banter about several of the companions. Most of these are just little one liners that don’t “serve the overall plot” but they serve Varric’s character
And that matters
So if we take this character known for telling stories about people that have been in his life, well, he largely can’t do that now. How can he talk about Hawke, someone who can be a very close friend of his, without even their gender being a choice you can select? Or whether Varric should be saying ‘is’ or ‘was’ about them? How can he talk about the companions in DA2 or inquisition when a lot of them don’t have to be recruited or can die? Will he limit himself to only characters that are guaranteed to be a part of it and alive? Or is it that he and Rook will have such a shallow relationship that Varric, of all characters, never talks about his life and past exploits?
Or has Varric as a character changed so much that he doesn’t even want to tell stories anymore? That Hawke living or dying means nothing to him? That the friendships he built with people in 2 games mean nothing to him? That he’s become literally unrecognizable?
This is where the problem is. Sure, Rook maybe doesn’t care about these people they’ve never met. But do they care about Varric? What about if a companion mentions an old friend of theirs, talks about an experience they had that made them who they are - is that only okay if that experience isn’t from a previous game? Or are all the characters so flat that we never learn anything about their connections to others outside of Rook? Is this story SO focused on this player character and this plot that NOTHING else matters, even within the world, and there’s no depth to be found in any of the characters that feature in it?
Writing characters so that they only ever talk about things that “directly serve the plot” is how you get flat, unremarkable, boring, forgettable characters. And that’s not something I would have accused bioware of doing even if some instalments are stronger in this area than others. But it sounds like that’s what they’re doing here, at least with the past characters. Cause sure, maybe Morrigan is so closed off she’ll never mention her son and partner. That’s believable, even if iffy given that they’ve said she’s going to be more involved than we think. But Varric? VARRIC??? Never mentioning ANY of the people he used to spend time with and care about except Solas and maybe some of the inquisition characters that can’t die or not be recruited but also carefully skirting around what happened to them in the game? That’s literally not the same character
And I would expand this to like. A letter mentioning this or a codex mentioning that, or ambient dialogue about so and so - that makes the world feel deep and those random, unimportant NPCs feel richer by connecting them to the larger world. It’s not about “serving the plot”, it’s about making your world and characters deep enough that they feel real, lived in, and like something we can actually care about
#I am so mad that I’m mad about this but I’m mad about this lmao#I wasn’t even decided on the game!!! I was cautiously waiting and seeing! and now I’m MAD!!!!! why would they do this!!!#anyway idk I just needed to get this out cause I’m doom scrolling too much and some of the defences of it just don’t make sense with good#storytelling and I’m upset that people don’t see that#again if you don’t care I’m happy for you please continue being unbothered#but god I am so bothered because I want good characters and wold building gdi#the plot is honestly so secondary like if the plot is ass but the characters are amazing I’d pick that ove good plot and shallow characters#every time#okay I need to get ready for bed and my head hurts lmao#I also don’t know how to do a cut in mobile anymore so sorry#long post#dragon age#veilguard#veilguard spoilers#text#shut up nerd#bioware critical
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SPLATS YOUR SANUSO🐙🦑🎶
designs by @/arttlars :3
#hai lars if ur seeing this im gonna destroy you in turf#SANJI GET YOUR HEAD IN THE FUCKING GAME#op#one piece#splatoon#art#my art#mintart#sanuso#sanji#vinsmoke sanji#usopp#splatoon sanuso au#^_^ INSANE ABOUT THIS AU#sorry everything's unfinished 😞 trust i have something cool for halloween#it's just doodles today#ermmmm don't mind that tghe weapons aren't accurate i was mostly guessing SOB#usopp probably mains e-liter and we were talking about how sanji would use dynamo roller cuz it has booyah bomb and he wants usopp to#shout out at him BGFHKJDN#i say eliter cuz im not familiar with a lot of the charge/sniper weapons help if anyone has a better suggestion then
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he says, it's mine to give, but it's yours to choose you're gonna sink or swim, you're gonna learn the truth
no matter what you do you're gonna learn the truth
#fallout#fallout new vegas#courier six#i've had this on the backburner for a while and now its out because i want a new banner. LOL#moray eels aren't his symbolism animal but they are representative of Something#this illus is me getting feelings out about eli finding clarity about himself after getting killed and coming back to life#he was stuck in a rut about something and after this... let's say he gets new perspectives about it#original#oc: eli#doodly thingy#fallout tag#me weaving insane shit in my head about my oc in a fallout game: i can tag this as fallout right. right? right
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A wilting flower is not always beyond healing. It'll just take time.
#a small doodle! Just a little one! Wanted to draw but also didnt want to draw but also needed to draw#you know? idk if that makes any sense#dont mind me-#if anyone is worried I am okay please dont take this as some big vent or anything!#just art I needed to get out of my head. Ya kno??? nothin crazy!!!#anyway anyway im gonna go play a game or something!!! Drink water. Eat a snack! Sit down in some quiet for a moment#Yall should do that too! You! Drink water! Eat something! Sit and be calm for a moment.#welcome home oc#dandy leon#I always feel bad tagging my art of dandy alone with the welcome home tags??? uh-#my art#sketches
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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Till's piece from the event is a very honest depiction, but I want to examine it in more detail since it looks so interesting.
For one, I find the headpiece confusing, I was hesitant on this point in the last post I made covering this I assumed the headpiece Till is wearing (separate from the headphones) was this device.
There isn't even a name for that device, but it's been theorized that it serves a similar function have the collars pet humans have, but affects the pet humans in some way.
I believe it's a behavioral management device since there is an emphasis on the brain when it's shown. And just based on the design itself. I think the purpose of it is similar to a shock collar.
Till in this environment looks familiar, he has that focused expression that he always has when he's writing music, like he's in a daze. Since this is a practice in a controlled environment I think he might actually be handling an instrument this time around (hence the headphones). Till has a natural passion for music, the environment of Anakt Garden also appears more calm than what he goes through with Urak so he looks very much in his element.
But despite how calm, and focused he looks outwardly, his collar shows orange.
Till is giving with his expressions even around the aliens, so if he was feeling bad (I would suspect as much seeing the fresh experiment patches..) I believe it would look more obvious, but the difference threw me off a bit. I could be reaching (definitely) But given how unruly his behavior can be, and how much effort the aliens are putting into finding ways to subdue him I think they used that device to mellow him out so that they could properly monitor him.
The collar being orange gives me the impression that he's not as calm as he looks but the headpiece is keeping him in a 'sedated' state(?)
Red - Condition in the negatives, energy depleted, feeling bad. overall horrible state.
Orange, yellow - to a lesser extent, more like if you're feeling skittish, nervous, (think of this mode as feeling under the weather)
Green - Good, calm, happy, normal and a healthy mode.
(Translation by kh47uo on Twitter)
This behavior could also show desensitization, as he had likely been conditioned to not be phased nor show weakness in front of the aliens even if he feels bad, a way of tolerating. But this is just me trying to make sense of whatever that head gear was... he could've also been sedated beforehand (banging my head against the concrete)
Also interesting to me that we weren't shown Till doing other things, like dancing, or singing. I think it's a testament to Anakt's (And Urak's) priorities as they have Till build on his music skills, his strongest skill. It's probably because that's all he has to offer is his music (His grades in every other subject are a mess.). So building that to its greatest potential before anything is important. But it's a reminder of the situation, he's not so intense about his craft because of his inclination to it. He doesn't make music simply because he likes it, he does it because it's what he has to do to survive. Despite doing what he is naturally driven to do, he looks like he has had his life drained out of him.
Urak (the bastard) knows that for sure. Appearances, and 'decent' skills can get you far but overwhelming passion and skill can put you farther above all the rest, it's exactly why Luka is the best in his league, and why Urak pushes Till to his limits to surpass that even with such destructive means.
#overanalyzing this under a microscope for science#yes this is a smelly brainvomit i really just want to yap because i love this piece#probably one of my favorites#im gonna kill urak im gonna kill urak im gonna kill#explodes#i think i went a little off track here but i found a lot to say about this piece#this whole event looked like what the aliens find flaws in their pet humans/ need to perfect#like Ivan. above all things he needed to get his appearance corrected for the stage#things like that#it's probably very mundane to the aliens#to me it looks like medieval torture#average day of kindergarten in alien stage:#im getting tears on my keyboard#alien stage#alnst#alien stage till#alnst till#i think they probably zooted him out like usual if the head piece is there for nothing in specific#i know its something to do with experiments though the wires are tell tale#whyre the aliens taking so much fucking blood#ill become a doctor to solve this mystery#something something heperu and urak are going to drive their pets ballistic the more they treat them like soldiers that can take anything#in the name of 'improvement' more like 'win my silly ego game my little barbie doll'#THEY WERE ALL JUST KIDS DAMN#FUCK#slams my head on the pavement agai
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hey this isn’t aimed at anyone in particular but I’m saying it for the record here: if I tell you no, please stop messaging me about fundraisers and mutual aid.
I get enough messages that it’s impossible for me to keep up without devoting at least half an hour each day, when I’m not even on tumblr that long most days. Me having a boundary about this isn’t a moral failing, it’s a lifeboat for me on my own blog.
In my personal life I’m already advocating and donating literally as much as I can spare. This is not me not caring, it’s just me not willing to interact with that on the one place I go online to not interact with irl news and world events for the most part.
I cannot be upset all the time. I cannot be upset everywhere. I cannot use all my emotional and mental energy fielding my own upset from ongoing events. My options are to hold boundaries about this or stop coming online at all.
I’m all for sharing information and signal boosting to reasonable extents, but the scale of it this year is so large and so enduring that it is literally not possible to for me to participate on every account I have. I’ve previously shared links to Gaza eSIM donations and a major hub of verified Go Fund Mes here and elsewhere online. We, the online humans, know how to look those things up ourselves by now. There are many, many people choosing to do advocacy work, and right now, I can’t be one of them.
If you’re extremely upset when I tell you I can’t share/donate right now about a Gaza family or personal fundraiser you ask me to share here, just unfollow and block me. That’s what those buttons are for. Protect your own emotions and energy and get me off your feed instead of staying upset and continuing to engage with online people or content that upsets you.
Please don’t send repeated angry messages based on manufactured purity politics and moral outrage into my messages and inbox when I exercise the right to run my own blog.
#and on that note#I also think some people need to sit down and ask themselves#if their old end times anxieties and fears and preparations and word spreading#haven’t filtered straight into a new non religious end of society and end of modern world order anxiety that they’re pushing on other peopl#even if it is the end times#you cannot change that by beating your own anxieties into other people’s heads#people can care MORE when they are GIVEN ROOM TO BREATHE#first rule of sustainable activism is you can’t do it constantly and you can’t push it on people constantly#you have to pace it and you have have have have HAVE to play long games#short term activism burns you out and if it leads to full despair from burnout it can get you killed via depression#it’s not a joke#there’s a reason your elders have books and community lore about healthy activism even in times of crisis#they lived it. they learned from it. learn from them.#spend your time doing things that can make real impacts.#do little things online but unless you’re an actual information hub you shouldn’t be posting constantly about it#people won’t even want to follow you anymore eventually because that’s not why they followed you#and then you have no audience for your important message anyway.#I know this. I learned it myself on other accounts.#please. stop. harassing me.#how is harassing me going to make me MORE willing to change my mind and post? just because you demanded it?#I am an autonomous person#this is my ONE curated space on the website#you have a multitude of tags and other users#don’t waste energy on a person who already told you no. let’s call that activism rule number two#spend your energy where it’s not likely to be wasted#you’re needed for a long haul#act like it 😭#and stop spamming me 😭#hey little star whatcha gonna queue?
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Okie so hot take: I don’t think Melinoë is as good of a protagonist as Zagreus. And here’s why.
It all comes down to motivation. Why did Zag go through the events of Hades 1? Because he was living in an abusive and volatile household and had to find some way to make things better for not just himself but his house. Otherwise he surely would have lost his mind having to deal with the abuse he got (remember at the beginning of the game basically only Nyx and Achilles were helping him. Everyone else is either neutral towards him or outright hostile). He needed answers, he needed to find out who and what he was by trying to find Persephone. And in the end he succeeded and was able to create a better life for himself and his house. Hell, even his relationship with his dad improved.
Now let’s look at Mel (yes this criticism is only addressing Early Access Hades 2). Why is she going through the events of Hades 2? Because… she’s been groomed since basically birth to kill Chronos. She doesn’t really have any other motivation than because it is what is expected of her essentially. She even says during her confrontation with Chronos, AFTER HE THREATENS TO HURT HER FAMILY, what do I care I barely know them (yeah sure she could just be bluffing to Chronos but that is still a very chilling thing to say when supposedly all of this is to save them and it makes her reunion with Hades lowkey ring hollow or weak). In another scene she even says the same thing to Hecate and says Hecate is more her mother than anyone else. Heck even in the flashback scene with young Mel and Hecate (which was very cute I’ll admit) she says she would want her mother to come back so Hecate isn’t sad. This makes all her motivations to kill Chronos and save the Underworld seem very… disconnected from the main component of the game? Being saving the house of hades and her family??
Like it’s expected of her and she was raised at birth to basically be prepared for this but she doesn’t have any personal reasons for doing any of this than just not letting Hecate and the others in the Crossroads down. Hell when she comes back from killing Chronos for the first time it honestly feels like Hecate is more interested and invested in what happened than Mel herself.
It makes her a really weird protagonist especially when comparing to her brother and how effective he was as a protagonist. Think about it, with Zag we got really in depth and character revealing moments where as the player we understand why he is doing all of this and so it is easy to go along for the ride because we like Zag and want to help him. Mel says she cares a lot about what is going on and wants revenge, but it all feels surface level (and which is understandable she doesn’t know these people, all she can say is “the titan took my family” when let’s be real she sees the people in the crossroads as more of her family). It honestly just seems like because she is expected to kill Chronos since she could think, she feels she has to do all this. It feels weird how she is disconnected from the core point of the game being to save the house of hades when Zag was so integral to that same core point in the first game.
I dunno, just my thoughts, I’m curious to see what everyone else thinks.
Edit: just fyi cause I feel with the comments I’ve been getting from my posts, I like hades 2 I am excited especially for the official release. I recognize my criticism/analysis could be wrong or out of date since the game isn’t finished yet. These are just my initial thoughts.
#I dunno I just don’t get that same drive and determination that I saw in Zag from Mel#it all feels very performative#and moments like the Chronos and Hecate conversations showcase her actual thoughts on the issue at hand#and it makes me think okie girl then why are you doing all this?#is it literally only so mommy Hecate isn’t disappointed in you??#I feel a lot of the game could be better honestly#it all feels very performative and not as genuine as Hades 1#it’s not bad mind you still a very fun and entertaining game#but honestly it really isn’t doing the magic hades 1 did with its story#I have other issues too but this specifically was floating in my head and I wanted to get it out#Mel doesn’t suck mind you I think she’s interesting just I think Zag is written better#and yeah I probably have some bias since zag is basically my favorite character but still I think it’s worth thinking about#pomegranate rants#hades#hades game#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#spoilers#hades zagreus#zagreus#hades melinoe#melinoe#melinoë
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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thinking about kab and the thing about her i think is she knows just enough to keep herself safe Generally but not enough to really predict what would happen should something more... complicated??? unforeseen??? idk whats the right word to use but something not covered by someones reputation and/or vids happen, believe it or not this also affects her view of clownpierce (we'll get to that)
for example, mapicc has a reputation for being an violent, angry, & impulsive guy and nothing else which makes sense but is incredibly surface level and something that only really works if you dont have a lot of experience working with him
another is reddoons, his betrayal after the base incident while shocking is not unforeseen but his reputation as being a guy whos seen as being a reasonable person whos fairly loyal to his team made it seem like something he wouldnt do even tho it absolutely is
regarding how it affects her view of clown, since he isnt perfectly aligned with his reputation she instead pivots in the complete opposite direction and forgiving basically every crime he does even tho hes something much more mild and complicated than either his reputation or her view of him will ever be (think madonna-whore complex which is especially obvious when it comes to kabs vs woogies view of him)
another side effect of this Just Enough amount of knowledge aside from being blinded by her own expectations is that it frustrates ppl who think shes oversimplificating things (like me and seemingly several other tumblr users as well) especially when she claims that shes objectively correct and the smartest in the room at any given moment
how this roughness in her analysis affects her in the server still has yet to be fully seen but we do still have at least a couple months until the end but 'til then shes just gonna keep stumbling as more and more complicated situations pop up as is typical in lifesteal to happen and eventually shes gonna have to learn to adapt or else she'll be suffering the consequences one way or another
#mine.txt#analysis#ig. this is very rough tho and is more just thoughts than anything#but i wanted a tag so i can get back to this later to see how right or wrong i am#another thing that affects this is the cc/c divide which is something she likes to take control of#one of the ways it manifests is that she likes to go in and out of it frequently which can be incredibly distracting#esp if youre someone like me who wants the lsers to just. be themselves and get immersed in whats happening around them#and it doesnt help that her and her character can have Very different feelings on a situation#basically the cc/c divide or at least how kab likes to use it affects the way she acts because shes got an idea in her head already#of what to think of the other ppl in the server which makes her inflexible when unexpected things come up#as opposed to when shes just being herself reacting to things#which is unfortunate but i think reflects on how outsiders vs insiders view lifesteal#the reality vs expectations of the audience are so incredibly different esp if you only watch the vids#so much so that while watching kabs vid my initial reaction was that she wasnt as big a ls fan as i originally thought#then realized no this seems like the exact sort of thing id expect from someone whos only seen the vids; particularly of the pvpers#(specified pvpers cause only watching the pvpers vs other kinds of players on the server are Very different experiences)#tho the thing about kab is she Does have insider knowledge!#.... mainly from ppl who dont log on a lot (ash and clown and maybe squiddo)#so naturally thats gonna give her a biased view of how the server works one way or another#the exception to this would be zam telling her about eclipse federation but i think either she doesnt know or severely underestimated#just how much lying; manipulation; keeping secrets; and yap sessions built on incompatible motives and morals happened#that made s4 the way it is not only in game but outside of it as well#''we're at our best when we hate each other irl'' - reddoons according to zam
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