#I want to be Alfred so bad

[fixated-on-something]

Got super obsessed with Alice By Heart. Help me.

[raynewolferune]

DC x DP Prompt: Bruce is bad at emoting but at least ghosts are empathic (too bad bat kids are not)

Was reading Twincognito on AO3 when I stumbled across this gem again:

~

" “Danny, Tim. I was just…checking in. Is everything alright?” Curse his inability to make meaningful conversation when it wasn’t a life or death situation.

They glanced at each other and shrugged.

Then Danny hauled himself out of the bed and walked over to Bruce.

Bruce tried not to let too much excitement show on his face. "

~

Now I really want to read a story where Bruce adopts Danny post Meta trafficking and is being his usual emotionally constipated self. His kids keep getting mad at him because he's treating their new meta brother who was trafficked poorly (generally being stilted in conversation with him, walking away hurriedly mid-conversation, avoiding Danny when he's feeling really awkward, etc). They think Bruce is discriminating against Danny for being a civilian, meta, dealer's pick, but really it's just Bruce being horribly socially awkward. Danny knows this because of ghost empathy and find the whole thing hilarious. The whole thing comes to a head with the Bat Kids staging an intervention in the Bat Cave.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Jack: What do you want Alfred: Son, please- Jack: Not your son. Not since you walked out on Mom to go to jolly old England. How's that going, by the way? I heard you walked out on your daughter there, too. Alfred: I know I wasn't the best Father, and you have no reason to forgive me, but this is a matter of life and Death. Jack: Oh, big surprise, good old Dad only comes around when he needs something. How about some tea and biscuits while we're at it? Alfred: Please listen. A few hours ago, the Justice League was compromised. Batman was able to send me a coded message that they were being mind-controlled by ghosts before he was captured. You and your wife are the only known contacts for Phantom. The world needs his help before the Justice League goes on a planned massacre. Jack: ....Fine, but only because thousands of innocent people could get hurt. *Turns to shout up the stairs* Danny! Can you come down here?! Alfred: We don't have time for your kids. We must move before- Jack: Unlike you, I always have time for my kids, but no, this isn't just a moment when you met your grandson. You need Phantom, don't you? Alfred: Yes? Jack: Then you need Danny. Danny: Did you need me, Dad? *looks at door* Who's this? Jack: The man who would rather be a butler/nanny to someone's kid than be a decent Father. Also, your new teammate for the upcoming battle. We're going to punch Batman in his dad-stealing face. Danny shifting into Phantom: FINALLY.

[flwrkid14]

Bruce shares custody of Tim with Harley Quinn

Yeah, you read that right. Gotham’s broodiest billionaire vigilante and the queen of chaotic energy are co-parenting Tim Drake. And, somehow, that’s not even the weirdest thing that's happened to the bats this year.

Why? Two words: Joker Junior.

The details are locked down tighter than the Batcave, but here’s what everyone knows (or guesses): Joker broke Tim in ways none of them can fathom. He didn’t just try to kill him—he tried to make Tim like him. And while Tim clawed his way back from the brink, he didn’t do it alone. Harley was there.

She was part of the nightmare. And then, unexpectedly, she was part of the healing. She stepped in, helped Tim survive when Joker was doing his worst. When it was all over, when Joker was (temporarily) gone, she didn’t vanish into Gotham’s chaos. She stayed.

And somehow, somewhere along the way, Tim started calling her “Mom.”

And Bruce didn’t stop him.

Cue the Batfamily losing their collective minds.

Dick is pacing the Batcave, gesturing wildly. “Bruce, this is Harley Quinn we’re talking about! You don’t just co-parent with a rogue! There are laws against this! Or, like, there should be!”

Jason is sitting on the Batmobile, arms crossed, voice dripping with disbelief. “She’s literally a former rogue. She tried to kill you! Like, more than once. This is insane, even for you.”

Steph is perched on the edge of a desk, trying (and failing) not to laugh. “Okay, but, like, can you blame Tim? Harley does make amazing pancakes. Better than Alfred’s, honestly—”

A scandalized gasp echoes from the other side of the room.

Cass just watches quietly, her head tilted, but there’s a small, knowing smile on her face. She gets it. She’s seen the way Tim softens around Harley, how he relaxes in a way he doesn’t around anyone else.

Damian glares at Bruce like he’s lost his last shred of common sense. “Father, you have truly surpassed yourself. Allowing that woman into the sanctity of our home—”

Duke raises a hand cautiously. “Okay, but can we at least talk about how Tim basically has diplomatic immunity now? No rogue in Gotham is gonna mess with him. He’s Harley’s kid!”

And it’s true. Between Harley’s reputation and Poison Ivy stepping in as Tim’s unofficial stepmom (because of course she and Harley got back together), the rogues have adopted a weird kind of reverence for him. Tim’s no longer just a bat to them—he’s Harley’s kid.

Picture this: Tim’s out on patrol, and Riddler has the gall to interrupt with a riddle—only to end it with, “You’re sharper than I thought, kid. Guess Harley taught you well, huh?” before disappearing into the night.

Harley’s brand of parenting is chaotic but deeply personal. She knows Tim’s tells, the way his hands shake when he’s overwhelmed or the too-quiet moments when he’s retreating into himself. She’s the one who sits cross-legged on the floor with him, working on puzzles and cracking jokes until the tension lifts.

She carries extra band-aids in her purse because “Ya never know when a fight with some thug is gonna leave ya with a paper cut!” She also leaves sticky notes on his projects with scribbled messages like “You’re a genius, baby boy!” or “Don’t forget snacks!” They’re goofy, sure, but they make Tim smile when he needs it most. She keeps a stash of snacks in the Manor because Tim forgets to eat when he’s working. She shows up with pancakes at 3 a.m., douses everything in syrup, and calls him “baby boy” in that soft tone that makes Tim feel… safe.

Even Harley’s chaos has an odd kind of comfort to it. She’ll burst into the Manor unannounced, dragging Tim into impromptu “self-care parties” with face masks, bad rom-coms, and every flavor of ice cream imaginable. Somehow, it works.

Ivy, on the other hand, balances Harley’s energy with her own structured nurturing. She insists on “proper nutrition” and occasionally sends Tim home with meal prep containers filled with organic, eco-friendly food labeled things like “Stress-Busting Smoothie” or “Brain-Boosting Soup.” If Bruce raises an eyebrow at it, Ivy simply reminds him that “The human body can only fight crime properly with the right fuel, Bats.”

One time, she cornered Bruce in the greenhouse, pointing an accusatory finger. “If you send Tim out on patrol without a proper meal or at least six hours of sleep, I swear, Bruce, your rose garden is compost.”

And while Harley is the queen of hugs and chaos, Ivy is the one who sits with Tim on the porch at night, talking softly about resilience and regrowth, using plant metaphors Tim pretends not to understand but secretly finds comforting. Once, after a particularly bad night, she gifted him a small cactus with a note: “Even when it feels like the world is trying to tear you apart, you’re stronger than you think. Also, low maintenance, like you.”

Bruce knows the family doesn’t fully understand. But as he watches Harley teaching Tim how to make lasagna one night, the two of them laughing as the kitchen turns into a war zone of flour and tomato sauce, he doesn’t regret it.

Sometimes family doesn’t look like you think it will. Sometimes it’s stitched together from the most unexpected pieces.

And sometimes, it’s an ex-rogue, a traumatized teen, and a brooding billionaire all trying to figure out how to keep the lasagna from burning.

Welcome to Gotham.

[eliquire33]

Two Ivans and their favorite ame…..

[littlefankingdom]

I fucking hate when one of my silly incorrect quotes post is successful and people reblogged it with some Bruce's slander. Get the fuck off my post.

"Talia took care of Jason because Bruce abandoned him."

Wtf are you talking about. Bruce didn't abandoned Jason, he died. And he didn't abandoned him when he came back, Jason was not in the right to ask people to prove their love to him by killing others. And he also tried to kill the Joker after Jason died, he thought he had succeeded. Like, shut the fuck up.

"I don't give Bruce credit for anything regarding Dick's education."

Well, who the fuck raised him from 8 to 18 then? Alfred Pennyworth? The same Alfred Pennyworth that raised Bruce Wayne? The one that maintained the "employee/employer" distance with the grieving child he raised. Look at young adult Bruce Wayne and I dare you to tell me Alfred Pennyworth can raise a child better than Bruce, I dare you. And don't you fucking dare blaming Bruce for it, that would be ableist af to fucking blame him for being mentally ill and labelled it as "difficult", I don't tolerate that shit. Bruce Wayne was there for Dick when he lost his parents, he helped that kid through grief and showed him love, he held him close contrary to how Alfred held him. He taught him how to be a great detective, how to be a great fighter, and all he wanted was Dick to be a better man than him. Go tell that bs to your fav and see if he agrees (he doesn't, Dick doesn’t agree and would bite your head off for saying that)

[cricket-mound]

I am not immunity to batfleck dilf propaganda I fear. (nor is corensupes 😊😊)

HE JUST WANTS THAT COOKIE GUYS ‼️‼️ CANT BLAME HIM

[not-another-robin]

Not my typical content but I'm looking to get a cat soon and..... I found a handsome gentleman.... I'll give you two guesses who he reminds me of

[aelswiths]

Aelswith x Alfred + Hand Holding (& killing me 😭😭🥺🥺)

[dukeofthomas]

"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.

(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)

[association-of-ideas]

While my Batman fixation has yet to dwindle (8 months strong!), my obsession with The Magnus Archives has slowly resurfaced and, being the predictable creature I am, I have begun trying to categorize Batfam members as well as Gotham rogues by entity.

I haven't gotten them all organized or decided how this would fit into a storyline, but one thing I'm certain of is that the Joker would be an avatar of the Slaughter, NOT the Spiral, and I think that would piss him off so bad. On a similar note, I do think Harley Quinn WOULD be a Spiral Avatar.

[moe-broey]

IMMEDIATELY REPOSTING THIS BC THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME. ALFONSE CÉLINE FRIENDSHIP REAL. TO ME‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[royalnavyart]

♰ ⋅⋆ ─── Comic Log 001 ─── ⋆⋅ ♰

Another silly wip i'm working on~ ヾ(*´ ∇ `)ﾉ

I'm trying to setup the scene where they negotiate with Ubba and Guthrum, so the first part dialogue is just 1-to-1 with the show.

But the second part is going to be my own dialogue lmao which means ... well. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧🌈✨❤️‍🔥

It's still in super doodle stage so it might take awhile to finish up \(; v ;)/ i just thought this panel came out looking quite cute aha.

[littlefankingdom]

Telltale Bruce Wayne is so good. He is a good boy, he's Alfred's son, he is a bit awkward with people sometimes, he cares about his friends, he's full of hope for Gotham and its people. He's rich but was raised by the help and IT SHOWS, and his intelligence is from being raised by Alfred. He stays dramatically under the rain where his parent died when he is sad, he doesn't let corrupted politicians or mob boss threaten him or tell him what to do, he wants mental ill people to be treated better and doesn't punch first people who are clearly mentally unstable, he's invested in Gotham even without the cape on. (This Bruce will adopt a ton of children and be good to them. Good dad right here, will get them therapy and not be mean to them)

And he looks like a wet cat behind a screen door, pleading for the human to open it. Understandable that the local cat lady fell for him.

[s0uper-soup]

I really want a DC moot to just talk everything DC with. Like I’ll do anything pls I’ll take volunteers and everyone who volunteers will now be a moot pls let me talk DC with someone

One requirement though you have to be a nice person

[leblogreblog]

Proposal: In DC Universe, character has to live trough their birth day, the exact day they were born on, to age.

Idea: Tim was born on a leap day during leap year

Reasoning: His age is weirdly inconsistient with others because he literally ages slower than them