#I want money so badly
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I am in a hell of my own making
#47#really starting to get sick of it all but also I’m so impressed with myself#I can’t believe I’m almost done it’s kind of unreal#people are so interesting actually it’s insane#like this study shows me that I just hear and not listen#bro 30+ pages!!!! I’m so crazy for this it’s the most I’ve written for school#I’m actually very tired but after today it’s over#it’s funny actually cause I wanted to study love so bad and I wanted to avoid linguistic labs#I wanted to avoid linguistic or brain or animal labs soo bad I just wanted to do social science#then I get here and it turns out lm in a linguistic lab but my dumbass doesn’t notice until one year in#turns out language is such a huge part of psychology😪#I want money so badly
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i'm in one of those phases where i really wish i believed in manifesting and spellcasting and things like that bc you know when you want something so bad you're literally praying for the universe to let it happen
#ramble#this is not me judging by the way i think it's cool as fuck i just don't do it personally#context: a lot of my 'dream jobs' are now just 'ways to make money that i might not absolutely hate'#but i have one (1) legit dream job and it's literally FINGERTIPS away from me right now#i feel like most people who know me can guess what it is and know how badly i want it#i'm not even letting myself daydream about it or talk about it too much because i'm so afraid of not getting it and being disappointed#and also i don't want to like. jinx it#i've tried so many times before but this is the closest i've ever been and i feel SICK i want to bite something
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i doodled a cal kestis icon for myself on discord and then proceeded not to use it haha
#I JUST SAW THAT THE SECOND GAME IS 70 BUCKS????????? EXCUSE ME?#DO I LOOK LIKE IM MADE OUT OF MONEY???#i want to play it so badly though 😭#my art#quick doodle#jfo#cal kestis#star wars#cameron monaghan
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born to inherit billions of dollars n live with four rich brothers, forced to solve for x
#i wanna be avery so badly#but i also wanna be a hawthorne#honestly i just want money#thats not a crime tho!!!#the inheritance games
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best believe i don't know shit about mk11 but i sure as hell know these guys gay asf
#mortal kombat#mk11#sub zero#scorpion#hanzo hasashi#kuai liang#subscorp#kuaihanzo#i want mk11 so badly ☹️☹️☹️#but i'm only allowed to buy it (with my own money) after exams are over???#that is like#3 months away#you're depriving me here#frankly im suffering
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Fanfiction is so goated actually
No monetary incentive, just writing in one's free time. Some incentive for like kudos and comments, because who doesn't want to hear that someone else enjoyed what they wrote. Just writing a story that is good and/or enjoyable, no real-life pressure to keep it going because god forbid you and other people are depending on it financially.
Writing a story because you want to write a good story, so you can write what they want the way you want, at a pace that is realistic for you, with exactly the plot pacing you want there to be.
#c*rny posts#thinking about this after the my h*ro academia leaks lmao#i have read barely a few chapters of the manga and then kept up with it through tumblr osmosis#i was interested in how its gonna end#and after reading the leaks i was like 'well its up to the fanfic writers to write a good ending now'#cause. it was kind of underwhelming. like some stuff made sense and some things were just done badly#which is realistic considering h*rikoshi is apparently burned out to hell#and i was thinking. man. if i had to write AND illustrate a story for like ten years straight. because its my bread and butter#and there are other people depending on the story doing well to make money#it would 100% get to me. i would rather end it all lmao#which is why i think fanfic is so great#just writing a story that you want. that makes sense to you. that has elements you want. that is exactly as long as you want.#and there isnt even a possibility of really monetizing it so there is no drive to make is 'succeed' or make it as long as possible#this could be applied to just writing a 'regular' story also that is not intended for publishing#also kinda makes me think about h*ikyuu#i kinda do feel the timeskip and the ending were a bit rushed#but like. if it was me. i would have rushed it too lmao#after so many years of working on one thing and one thing only i would have been so done. just so done#and h*ikyuu ending to me wasnt even bad. it was good with good resolution of everything. with characters evolving and achieving their dreams#not necessarily volleyball related (like tenma)#the progress made realistic sense#but it did feel a bit rushed#anyway#fanfic and writing for yourself is great#and manga authors face way too much pressure from people dependent on them. from fans. even from society in general
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(x)
#i want this magazine SO badly#but im saving up my money to go to spirit#gothic beauty magazine#gothic beauty#magazines#00s goth#90s goth#2000s goth#goth magazine#2000s mall goth#90s mall goth#mallgoth#gothic style#goth fashion#gothgoth
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oh , bother .
#me#i want money to spare for tattoos so badly#alas . medical bills and unemployment restrictions are not in agreement
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Just my thoughts on InZoi (that no one asked for) ...
I am not a cynic but I am skeptical of any new "life simulation" games. And that's not to say I don't want The Sims to have a competitor, I think EA needs a competitor for The Sims. For the price tag of The Sims, EA needs pressure on them to address their complacency (with game content, the growing issues with paid content, etc). InZoi is far from that. At face value, I think the gameplay is unimpressive. I can understand why people are drawn to an in-depth, hyperrealistic character creation but to what end? The inclusion of AI, even if just for primarly patterns/textures, is an increasingly slippery slope. It's just for patterns ... for now, but how will AI provide shortcuts for the company in the future? That's one of my concerns and I think it's a bit shady for the company to have this feature. Any kind of AI generation has significant environmental impacts and contributes to art theft/the distribution of AI that has burdened the art community. I struggle to find a justifiable reason for the game having AI because I don’t think there is one. If you consider the computer that is needed to run a game with graphics like InZoi, the game isn’t accessible to people with “lower-end”/older PCs. An issue The Sims team had to address with the Sims 4 ie. the change in graphics and the game no longer being open world. I like that more people can play The Sims without needing a PC that is worth thousands of dollars. I keep seeing the comparison of InZoi to GTAV NPCs. As someone who has spent a lot of time playing with friends on GTAV FiveM servers, even those servers have better gameplay than I’ve seen with InZoi. Not to be funny but InZoi reminds me of those invasive 3D p*rn game ads.
The other aspect of InZoi that bothers me a little (maybe a lot) is the stark difference in how “regular” simmers are reacting to InZoi versus how some content creators/custom content creators are reacting. It’s a little frustrating for the people, even if through EA’s allotted 21-day early accesses, who make hundreds if not thousands of dollars off the community aren’t acknowledging let alone addressing the glaring concerns users have about InZoi. It seems many of them are going to brush these concerns aside for the opportunity to mod for the game (a game to me that doesn’t seem to value artists' work) and worse case scenario will jump ship to InZoi if Simblr takes issue with it.
It’s … interesting.
#Non Sims#Long Post#IDK maybe it is my#journalism brain#looking too deep into the whole thing#I am at a news station this fall as a producer#I am thinking about writing about InZoi#I love an a new character creation tool#but I just don't think realisitic graphics are worth it#and some cc creators I really enjoy#are fully on this train#and I am conflicted because I don't want money to be#the reason why#I do think some people want a game#to compete with Sims so badly#they aren't see the red flags in these new games
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"You're being entitled!" These bitches are asking us to fund their Hollywood-quality content dreams like Walt Disney pleading a bank he was in debt to to give him another loan to finish Bambi, a movie that did not see any monetary success until it rereleased seven years later. I have to pay so much big money in medical expenses every month that I don't have any "treats" (a starbucks coffee, a different subscription, etc) I can go without. I'm not the entitled one here.
#also i'm not 'acting entitled to their free content' if i don't even want the content to begin with 🤭#watcher#my last post blew up. rip. take me dogs.#also in terms of content creation in general: i do not believe i am entitled to free work of any kind from any artist#however if you post it online for free then the transactional contract has been fulfilled.#if you want comments go back to the 'i'm not gonna post another chapter until i get 5 comments' business model#and like the most frustrating thing is!! I can't subscribe to Anything with money!!#I use my grandparents' passwords. I beg them to add a new channel on the roku if i want it.#i can't tip most online creators because i couldn't make a money mover account before i filed for disability.#i cannot support So Many independent artists and just people selling things to get by even though i want to so badly.#but people are getting divisive over funding an already established and successful entertainment project.#i'm just sick with it tonight.
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Do i play wizard 101 or go to bed. Its almost 3 am
#wizard101#wizard 101#i played this all the time as a kid and bought myself a membership a few days ago#im a level 13 necromancer now#which is farther than i’ve ever gotten because as a kid when me and my siblings asked for a membership#my parents always said ‘why pay for a game when there are so many online for free’#so my sister would sit for hours watching ads to earn crowns and unlock areas#i love having my own money#im considering buying her a membership but i dont know if she would want it as badly now
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lemongrab (Starts vibrating so hard i explode)
i do think pb is calm now but i dont think she likes wizards. i dont know. i dont know. and i saw how she treated lemongrab, she didn't really like him either. like. you all saw that. peps didnt want to see that he didnt want to think about it at the time, how they were treating the actual literal heir to the throne and also just how they were treating this man, he didn't realize. he didn't. and now. and . dont .get me talking about lemongrab. or i will talk. for ever
pep: you ate your brother lg: lg: you won't have that problem pep: i could eat you lg: try it
#says shes better but you know. pep can tell theres something going on. theres something Wrong#she insists hes not doing anything wrong and she supports him!! but he can TASTE it. in there. in her words.#lemongrab is not a very gentle person but he is kind. and he is a father. and he wants so badly to be a good sibling.#adventure time#distant lands#lemongrab#peppermint#digital#lemon kids#well one of them. im sorry he looks so much like larry in some ways.#this is the first time lg has called pep his sibling hes like (mid meltdown) IM YOURWHAT..... <3#long post#its so tall.#i need to stop drawing ppl on benches. until i learn to draw benches.#she always knew peps was a magic user but it was more of a background Hes An Adult He Does What He Wants thing#and now he needs money for schoolbooks. so he has to see that Look in her eyes. im making it weird arent i#sorry pb fans im really mad at her about lemongrab and it poisons every interaction i have with her character#she really is trying. i promise. you just wouldnt know it from talking to lemognrab or pep.
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Target Solas may be saving my life actually
#in the funniest way possible#bc i started researching target jobs for the retail rifts fic#and discovered that just working as a TL for target#i would make more $#than as a resident#like i know i know. its cheap labor for the hosp#but how in the hell is this fair. lmao like. how in the hell am i valued so little#and if you for a second think ''it shouldn't be about the money''#stfu.#its not about the money. its about the absolute dogshit hours. working 100 hrs a week bc programs violate the laws all the time#not being able to see a therapist for fear of program backlash bc they can and will and have fired residents over that#its about not being compensated or valued at an appropriate level for the amount of time and education required#like genuinely. fuck this#im so bitter and drained by it all#could write essays on why and how badly the system needs change#but ive decided it isnt worth it#its not worth it and i dont want to do this anymore#ive already started to line up some other opportunities#bc genuinely. seriously. wholeheartedly. fuck this
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i'm trying to save £5000 this year so I can move into my own house by next summer, but the second i realise i'm not as broke as i thought I was for a month i'm on ebay looking at mid century modern furniture.... girl you're going to be living with your parents forever !!!!!!!
#I've really disciplined myself these last few months -#my eating is disciplined the amount i read is disciplined my listening habits are disciplined#but oh my god i physically cannot be disciplined with money#having a professional salary for the first time in my life is making me insane#but i've been in this job for nearly a year now so i'm really hoping i've nearly gotten the impulsive spending out of my system#because i want my own house so badly#my bf is moving into a beautiful new apartment so that's good motivation for me to get my shit together#becauee i want him to be able to come and visit me in my beautiful own house......
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i miss when i was writing khr meta on the regular and being unwell about it on here with you guys. i think i like having the time and energy to be chronically online actually
#ramblings#should i reblog my greatest hits#i still get new followers every now and then despite my unofficial (semi) hiatus#but you guys missed the best of my khr brainrots when i was actually on here and posting/reblogging stuff#also i want to be writing so badly too 😭#like i know the last thing i wrote wasn't too long ago#but i miss being able to write with the same frequency as before#but i guess i'm earning money in the meantime 😔#fingers crossed i should be able to get myself a new computer in september#and then ideally you'll all see guys#anyway. hi guys <3 i miss you and i love you and i hope you're all doing all right <3
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@ amc listen here, if you care about iwtv fans (me) and making money you WILL sell prints of the photos louis took of claudia in paris
#i want it#i need it#i will kill for it#like PLSSSSSSS i want those pictures of claudia#like professionally printed i need themmmmm so badly#like i would give all of the money i have for them idc#me yapping#interview with the vampire#claudia de pointe du lac#claudia de lioncourt
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