#I wanna go back again sometime…
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eepiest little man in the building
#HIS EARS ARE SO BIG HELP#so ive heard type shit#he has a habit of tilting his head back when he’s being petted like he fucking CONKS it back its so funny#we visited a cat cafe today I wanna go back again… there are so many of them#the room was really well maintained like we wore shoe covers and everything. and there’s a back room for the cats to go if they wanna#tap out so thats nice. BUT THIS LIL GUY. OHHHHH LIL MAN#he looks almost completely black but he seems to have these slightly darker stripes which are hard to see..??#THERES ALSO AN ENORMOUS MAINE COON NICKNAMED THE KING OF THE ROOM? HES HUGE JESUS CHRIST#made friends with a curious white and orange one who looked like he was thinking of pouncing down on me#and a very VERY pretty white and silver point with blue eyes who was happy to greet everyone#my brother was stuck on the floor bc a Persian that snubbed everyone else looked at him like ‘you. your lap is MINE’#and kept him there for 20 minutes. another cat wanted a turn but the Persian claimed him ;w;#my brother was popular with the cats bc they could probably sense he’s the calmest person in the room LOL#diary#yapping#cats#I wanna go back again sometime…
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alternate surface au inspired by a few ive seen around on tumblr :3
#my art#pressure roblox#roblox pressure#sebastian solace#painter pressure#thought more abt my headcanons for seb’s anatomy and like. lol that tail is not pure muscle hes got guts in there.#that + the fact that there’s spinal cord in there means itd be a bad idea to try and amputate it#the wagon/eventual wheelchair is mostly for outdoor use i imagine.#<- specificallt]y for outdoor surface textures/debris that’d be bad for him to slither on#also. chronic pain have i dont think suddenly shrinking his whole body did much good for that#i imagine he and painter have like. a pool. to help with that and other needs he has now.#but he wouldnt wanna use it for a long while#there was a sort of. disconnect between his idea of freedom from urbanshade vs the reality of it i think.#like. thinking things could. on some level. go back to normal#and not considering that some of his mutations would be irreversible#and having to confront/cope with/accomodate himself about that#seb wants to be normal again but we cant all get what we want can we!#sometimes healing involves working with or around irreversible change buddy!#btw if feligayzed sees this. hiii hii your au was one of the big things that kicked my brain off on this and i wanna make fanart sometime#oh yeah this is . also.#sebpainter#pressure pathways#pathways#wow i dont think ive written a wall of tags that big in a long time. can you tell im having normal feelings about them
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when you see me reblog a post with tags, and then moments down the dash, reblog it without tags, that in particular doesn't mean anything. I just reblogged it and then my dial-up brain eventually remembered that tags were supposed to go there.
#sometimes I don't wanna go back and edit a post. sometimes it's just easier to reblog it again#problemnyatic thoughts
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does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do
#i get so upset when i think about it for too long; i'm there for them now but there was nothing i could do; wanna go back and protect them#i'm like this with everyone i care about (real and fictional) and sometimes it's hard#it's about hans this time. i just can't believe all the things that happened to him#no wonder he's terrible! no one cared about him! why should he care! all he knows is pain and neglect! except from me!#i know why he sees everyone else as worthless because that's exactly how everyone he knew saw him first; he was supposed to be loved#they all used him up til he was nothing and that's all he knows#i can't even read certain parts of a frozen heart again because i just cried so much the first time... he didn't deserve that#no one does#and then the comics detailing it all even FURTHER#he was like any other innocent kid and seeing that progression hurt so much. i could get into the details but ugh#hux's age of resistance comic did the same thing. i can't even look at the first 2 pages; it's too much. i just want to hold him#anyway... i'm fine :') i've made a post like this before but i'm feeling it so hard right now#self ship
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2011 Italian Grand Prix - Vettonso
#SORRY. I AM GOING THROUGH IT.#this is why i had to put vettonso merchant in my bio bcs if i dont post them at least 5x a week ill die#their dynamic in this race is like actually indecipherable to me#cause this is the race where fernando 'allegedly' said fuck you my boy#but their dynamic is so odd????#like they have that happen in the cooldown room#and then generally ignore each other on the podium#and then we randomly get this cute moment and then they INSTANTLY go back to being awkward#but then in the press con they keep talking about each other and looking at each other???? okay :)#sometimes im just like. yeah no i give up on trying to understand them#not rly noticeable in these buts its so funny how seb pats him to get his attention#and then immediately goes to cheer as if to be like 'huh what i didnt touch uou'#to ref that one post about this race said: he didnt wanna embarrass himself again by getting turned on#stealing this from c cough cough but hes like 'oh no!! if he looks at me im gonna embrass myself on broadcast again!!'#anyways i love this moment and the pics from this are like my fav ever 2010s pics of them so yeah <3#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1#*its so odd i completely remember finishing this and scheduling it last night#*but when i woke up it was only half done??? im still confused#2011 italian gp
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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*guy that hasn't slept properly in several days voice* damn why am i so tired
#rye.txt#my sleep schedule is so messed up man 😭#started going to bed at 2am instead of 10pm. except it takes me like an hour and a half to two hours to fall asleep each night#so really im getting to sleep around 3am-4am#and then my body wakes me up at 7am#and sometimes i can go back to sleep but other times i have Work To Do and have to get up then#and then i can maybe try to go back to sleep around 10am#except oops my body doesn't let me actually sleep so i just go to bed and sit there until i feel bad about trying to sleep during the day#and then i get up again#my works schedule is also Very Weird but it's always been like that#im. tired. i wanna draw kitty cats but im too eepy :(
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Lloyd’s the kind of person to be completely silent while everyone is horribly singing Bohemian Rhapsody only to belt out the line “I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all” in perfect pitch and then fall dead silent again as he went back to like, reading a book or something. send post
#ninjago#lego ninjago#lloyd garmadon#bohemian rhapsody#i sometimes wish id never been born at all#headcanons#ideas#jokes#text post#speaking#for the record lloyd the kinda person to be silent as in he protests to everyone he cant sing#or he just doesnt wanna sing so hes just fending them off as they sing#then the line comes and hes like a sleeper agent and sings the line like hes done so a hundred other times#then laugh and brush it off and go back to not singing again#and for the OTHER record#the other ninja are not exempt from this. all of them sing that line like their lives depend on it#except for zane because my boy does not sing unless he has downloaded content <3 hes the one playing the music but he vibes w it#lloyds just the one who has it down like an ART#lloyd also sings 'you shouldve raised a baby girl i shouldve been a better son' from mcr#because he is trans. 2 me. kai also sings out that part with just as much passion. they are shaking hands#and also lloyd was just an mcr kid change my mind
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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Some more spoodles (Spock doodles) I’ve had saved for a bit… Art block still rough but I do wanna draw so bad. If yall have simple requests feel free 2 send some in hehe
#my art#described#star trek: tos#Spock#the spaby (Spock baby)………………….#yesteryear still living in my brain rent free. I have a yesteryear au I wanna draw and post sometime…#essentially it’s if yesteryear were a longer episode. time loop instead of getting it right in one go. Spock messes up a few times before-#-finally getting it somewhat right and making sure he doesn’t die.#cus I was struck with the devastating image of older Spock carrying back his little baby self’s body back to his parents. -#- the ‘I’m sorry’ that just barely escapes his lips. the knowledge that he has to try again - that this cannot be his fate.#idk I love angst and yesteryear has so much juicy potential to be angsty and just DEVASTATING#unedited the idea itself is insane and doesn’t feel like it was thoroughly comprehended. whaddya MEAN you were supposed to DIE???????#the only one that saved you from dying????? was YOURSELF???????? HELLO IS THIS THING ON???????????????#so yes yesteryear huh. TAS has some of the episodes of all time I stg if you haven’t watched it cus it’s animated and janky ur missing OUT
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The Effigy and the Inferno - A Gravity Falls Fic
Written by pokimoko
Chapters: 3/3
Word Count: ~29K
Fandom: Gravity Falls
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Ford Pines & Stan Pines, Filbrick Pines & Stan Pines, Stan Pines & Caryn Romanoff Pines
Characters: Stan Pines, Ford Pines, Filbrick Pines, Caryn Romanoff Pines, Crampelter (Gravity Falls), Original Characters
Tags: Pre-Canon, Childhood, Young Stan Pines, Young Ford Pines, Young Ford Pines and Stan Pines, Kid Stan Pines, Kid Ford Pines, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Broken Bones, Ford Pines Has Issues, Mental Health Issues, Stan Pines Needs A Hug, (A Mental Health Hug), Autumn, Horror Elements, Mimicry, Fae & Fairies, Changelings, Bugs & Insects, Moths, Fire, Extended Metaphors, Magical Realism, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Autistic Ford Pines, Ableism, Internalised ableism, Self-Worth Issues, Depression, implied/referenced suicidal ideation, Rescue Missions, Brotherly Love, and its twin, Brotherly Angst, POV Stan Pines, Bittersweet Ending, partially because of the terrible thing that is:, Canon Compliant, (and boy do we all know what canon has in store for these two poor kids)
Summary:
mimicry (noun):
a biological phenomenon marked by the close external resemblance of an organism to another animal, plant, or inanimate object
the art of pretending to be someone you're not, someone you can never be
(or: in the last weeks of Fall, Stanley does his best to look out for Ford, but he soon finds his efforts hindered by a leaf that is not a leaf, a moth that is not a moth, and a brother that is not a brother.)
#gravity falls#gravity falls fanfiction#gravity falls fic#fanfic#my fanfic#ao3 fanfic#fanfiction#stan pines#stanley pines#ford pines#stanford pines#that's right! i'm back with another gravity falls fic for you!#(which *also* ended up longer than expected. like always)#and let's just say it's a whole different vibe to the poetics of space#the mystery shack ain't even in this one. or the lil' twins either. this here is some glass shard beach era ford and stan fun#well...fun for me anyway. the boys though? yeahhhh no not so much#this fic is brought to you by 'i wanna write a story with moths' and 'being 12 and depressed sucks huh'#expect the next two chapters sometime in the next week or so because stupid me finished the final chapter before the second#(and once again the third chapter is also my favourite so i'm very keen to share it)#anyway enough tags! go read the fic!
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Ok as much as I would like to post something funny or profound about things that don’t matter, I have nothing. So you know what? I’m going to throw a question out into the dark and see if the demons respond. I need help coming up with embroidery ideas and I really want to get back into it.
#art prompt#my art#embroidery#beadwork#art block#art#artists on tumblr#tokyo debunker x reader#creepypasta x reader#tokyo debunker#traditional art#to that one person that sent me a message about tags that don’t relate to the subject I’m sorry I’m doing it again#twisted wonderland x reader#artwork#I feel like chihuahua#my stress is a chihuahua#idk what else to tag#idk i’m just tired#future#idk what im doing#idk what to tag this as#i wanna go back#i don’t know I’m going to do when I graduate#everything is crashing down on me and I am frozen in place#lily of the valley#sometimes I feel like a lily of the valley#why are the french here?!
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You ever get rly nostalgic about the past and wish you could go back and live it again but then when you think about the parts you aren’t nostalgic for you remember “no wait that shit sucked I don’t wanna do that again”
#sometimes I rly wanna relive 2012-2017 again but#outside of the very specific good parts I like#like my early internet days and the beginning of the undertale special interest#that shit suuuucccckkkeeeddd#im still recovering from all that trauma you couldn’t pay me to go back
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idk if it’s worth it to post this but i did deactivate blumisiu. rip 🪦💔 putting this here just in case people get Confused.
i reblogged all my works on @blumisiu-archive, though <3
#it’s complicated but not really.#i did have my (many) happy moments on that blog. and often times it was a safe and comfy space for me.#and somewhere i DID want to be. but. there was always a lingering feeling of unhappiness and disappointment and dissatisfaction.#with my writing and all that.#and i just really felt that no matter how long of a break i took i wouldnt be able to go back on there and feel happy#my writing has unfortunately died out for the time being lol and yeah. that paired with how i was feeling before just sort of solidified#the decision for me#i’m so grateful for all the love that i received on my works :( so grateful for every mootie patootie i met ❤️#but yeah. idk it was just the right thing to do for me.#perhaps writer vivi will make a come back! maybe one day! maybe even blumisiu will return…#BUT i do know that i wanna make a k-pop blog again. sometime soon!#just to post moodboards and other silly stuff and like i said before perhaps my writing again#but yeah :P that’s that#♡ dear diary…
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So cruel that hyperfixations are inherently transient.
I should be able to be intensely passionate about and get lots of happy chemicals from a fictional character for more than a single month, actually Universe. It should last forever and ever, actually
#just me rambling#I think I'm between fixations again and I want to tear my skin of cus I have nothing to do#I wanna go back to thinking always about about cleo or ren or mumbo or grian or prpduo or— :(#BRAIN LET ME STAY HYPERFIXATED INDEFINITELY PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING#adhd why are you so sucks sometimes#why can't you be perfect and good all the time
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I mean this in the nicest way possible: I wish I was a better friend.
#delete later#I know I’m not a good friend#but i think it’s trauma related#and I know that’s not an excuse#but a reason#and I’m just… also tired of people leaving me#I don’t strike up conversations anymore cause I was the friend who always did so#I was always the one making the effort to be in other peoples lives#and it sucks. ya know.#and sometimes I say dumb things that then like….. makes people not want to be around me I fear#and like…. yeah…. that’s part of life#but I’m just so tired of being alone#I want friends. I want people to send post cards and letters too#and I wanna hang out with people#and I want them to tell me things I want them to tell me how they are feeling#like. online friends are great!!#don’t get me wrong!!#but I know I’m not a great online friend either.#and when I try to be I fear I come off as flirting. like sometimes I am. don’t get me wrong#but I wish I could just… go to a friends house and sit with them and hold their hand when they are having a bad day and have the same done#for me!!!#I am always giving…. I am always giving parts of myself to people who don’t give themselves back#I still know my ex-best friends favorite color but I doubt she knows what mine was when we where friends#if you read this far just…. ignore it oof.#it’s just a rant#sometimes I rant in a tumblr post cause reading rants back in old journals is. bad. for my mental health#my adhd just picks the emotions right back up and then I go through it again. so it’s best to tumblr rant#I’ve also been having complicated gender emotions again#I don’t hate the idea of being a woman/girl as much as I used to. and it’s throwing me off a bit#I mean it’s right on time really… I have a gender crisis almost every four years…
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