#I used to be able to pacify the cats and still work by sitting on the sofa

[acecasinova]

I wanna draw but I don't know what (to many ideas) and it's also kinda late (work tomorrow) but I'm just sitting here with my brain going brrrrrrrrr

[little-fics]

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Request summary: you are not happy about your daddies new way of keeping track of you, but maybe you could warm up to the idea of it

Warnings: Age regression; pacifier mention; sort of leashes but its like a baby leash connected to a backpack; baby has hurt feelings; I could have missed something so please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 2.6K

A/N: I really hope you like it nonnie, I really enjoyed writing it. love you buggy boos <3

You wanted to look at everything not matter where you went with your daddies. At the park it was every dog, every leaf. At the store it was every fluffy thing you could find, every piece of candy or toy. If you saw something you wanted to look at, you were gone. Steve and Bucky had discussed their options after the fifth time you'd run off from them. It wasn't that they didn't want you to look, but you're their baby and you needed one of your daddies to go with you. The problem with that? You forgot in your excitement; a lot.

That's how you've found yourself in this predicament.

You were ready to go to the zoo, tattered thigh jean shorts and a pretty tie-dye shirt with SpongeBob's crew with cute purple shoes. You were bouncing on your heels at the door, waiting impatiently on your daddies. You know better than to go out the door and wait for them by the car, so you're whining, rushing your daddies.

"Papaaaa, it's time to go! We not gonna get to see eb'ryfin'!" Steve came rounding the corner, Bucky trailing right behind him with a lavender backpack in his hand that seemed a little full. Steve picked you up, balancing you on his hip, "We're almost ready little one," he wiggled his finger on your tummy, "we just want to show you something before we go." Bucky held the backpack up, smiling innocently.

It was so cute, it was a shade lighter than your shoes to match perfectly. It was plain, other than the pins and small keychain fidget toys your daddies had surely put on. He opened it up and it had a coloring book, a pack of colored pencils, your favorite pacifier and Lincoln the Ram, the oldest stuffie you had. You reached for the ram, and when you'd pulled him out you saw a bag of candy. Bucky laughed when your eyes lit up, "No baby, that's for today, you can have some later." You jutted your lip out and he shook his head, "Nice try, but puppy dog eyes only work on papa."

When you accepted that, Steve spoke up, "This is a special backpack sweetness." Your brows furrowed as you looked at it, not seeing anything about it. Bucky pulled out a stretchy cord that ended in a scrunchy like bracelet. "When you put this backpack on, daddy or papa will put this on." He slid it on his wrist and tugged at the cord close to his wrist, "So you can't go wondering off like you always do." You whined loudly, "Won' run off!" Your face in Steve's neck, letting out another loud whine.

“Oh silly baby,” Steve kissed your hair, “it’s okay, you’re not in trouble for being curious, we’re just trying to protect our kitty.” You let out a heavy groan, “No, don’ wanna wear it.” You clutched to Lincoln, your chin wobbling on edge of tears. “Dollie,” Bucky said softly, stepping forwards to rub your back, “it’s dangerous when you run away from us, you forget in the pretty head to tell your daddies where you’re going and we can’t find you.” You let out a long groan in protest and stayed in the crook of Steve’s neck, Bucky’s hand still on your back, “We can stay home instead of going and seeing all the animals, would you like that better?” Your head rose and you shook your head at him, “No daddy, I’ll wear it.” Bucky felt a strain on his heart when he saw the way your pout still rested on your face. “You won’t hardly notice it baby,” he kissed your nose, “not with all the pretty animals we’re gonna see.”

When you got to the zoo, Bucky unbuckled you in the back. You always sat in the middle because that’s where you were most protected, so he had to drag you out of the car a bit. “Okay baby,” he held the backpack up, “put ‘em in there.” You just stared at him a minute, “What if I pinky p’omise to be good?” He shakes his head, “Baby, you already are good. You agreed to wear it to be safe, we can’t go in if you’re not going to be safe.”

You huffed and put your arms in it, the band already around Bucky’s wrist. “Good girl, now listen to me baby, you gotta keep your backpack on, it can’t come off or it defeats the whole purpose.” You nodded deftly, body now trained on bouncing towards the gate. As you got around more people, Steve grabbed your shoulder and bent down to your face. “Did you hear daddy baby? That backpack doesn’t come off until we are back in this parking lot or you're in one of our arms, understood?” You nodded and Steve raises his eyebrows, “Yes papa, I understand.” He rubs your cheek with his thumb before giving you a quick kiss, standing back up.

It had worked remarkably well, you’d gotten distracted by all the animals as suspected. You were pulling Bucky around everywhere, and of course with Bucky came Steve. You pulled them to the lions rather quickly, jumping up and down, changing positions all over the outside of the enclosure to see them. “Daddy!” You ran to near the end of the enclosure, stopped dead in your tracks by the leash.

Bucky chuckled, but to you it was no laughing matter. “Wha’ you doin?” You pulled on him, shaking your bag roughly, “Baby, slow down okay, we’ve got plenty of time to look at the lions.” You made an angry face at him and continued to pull at the leash, “Come on! Wanna walk wif it!” You stomped your feet until he finally caught up with you. “Dis’ is why I always look wifout you, you too slow.” Bucky ignores your comment, mainly because you grab his hand and intertwined your fingers with his, shaking his arm and pointing at the big cat, “Take it home wif us?” Steve, who stood behind you, laughed in shock, “That’s a no from me bug, come on, let’s go see what’s next.”

With his recommendation you remember that there are so many more animals at the zoo. You squeak out a high pitched okay and take off skipping. Your long legged daddies had no problem keeping up throughout the next few hours, but then you had to potty. Truth be told, you were tired of looking at the giraffes anyway.

You glanced up to your daddy, who's whispering something in Steve's ear and laughing. You tug on him, and he turns toward you, "Gotta go potty." He smiled, nodding his head, "Of course bug, thank you for telling us without trying to run off." You grumbled and started walking to the bathroom, keeping the leash taught the entire time. You started to shrug off your backpack, irritation creeping up your spine before stopping.

You turned around to Steve and Bucky, a frown plastered on your face. You waited until they were dead in front of you, you slid off the backpack and pushed it roughly into their chest, stomping away to the bathroom. Both of them stared at each other for a moment, Steve commenting lowly, "Awfully grumpy." Bucky's mind swirled, you're not one to be outrageously bratty, so when you came back out, he knelt down and grabbed your hand.

"What's going on my buggy boo? Is something bothering you? You not feeling good?" You shrugged, pulling your hand back and taking the backpack with a wobbling lip. He made a clicking noise, smiling and took the backpack from you. "How about papa wears the backpack and I'll carry you, it's about time for lunch anyway, right?" You seem to instantly relax and let Bucky balance you on his hip, kissing your cheeks.

Steve slipped on the backpack, an odd and tight fit on his body but with the straps completely loosened, it had a millimeter of wiggle room. He starts to lead the way and Bucky whistles sharply at him. Steve turns around with raised eyebrows, but Bucky is looking at you with a 'can-you-believe-him' look.

Bucky turns to Steve, grabbing the bracelet part of the backpack and sliding it on your wrist, "You can't go running off either," Bucky looks down to you, giggling into his shoulder, "isn't that right sweetness?" You nod, looking up to Steve, shaking your wrist, "Papa we gots tuh know you safe!" Steve immediately catches on to what Bucky's doing, and smacks his forehead playfully, "How silly of me, huh dovey?" You pointedly nod, a smug look on your face, "Uh-huh, now nommies please!"

You're in a much better mood being carried by your daddy, shaking the leash playfully at Steve when you sit down at the table. He slid the backpack off of his back, laying it down on the table. "I thought maybe you'd like a dum dum while we wait on Daddy to come back?" Steve was bouncing you on his knee, already popping the sucker into your mouth. You laid your head on his shoulder, your eyes fluttering closed while enjoying the sweet lemon in your mouth, too asleep to notice it disappearing from your mouth.

Bucky sits down with Steve, smiling at your tired form, "I told you she'd tucker herself out and we wouldn't be able to get through the whole zoo today." Steve scoffed, "You act as if she's going to be willing to leave." Bucky kissed Steve softly before planting kisses all over your face, rousing you from sleep.

As much as you don't want to be grumpy, you can't help but frowning at Bucky. He just kisses your nose and tilts his head towards the food at the table. Your eyes land on the chicken strips first and your whole body bounces at sight of the large slushy on the table. "I-Buh-'S mine?" Bucky laughs at your apprehension to breaking the rules, don't have too much sugar. "Of course baby, we thought you'd like something sweet, like yourself."

When you are done eating lunch, Bucky tries to help you put your backpack on, but you run away from him, around the table. "Nuh-uh," you cross your arms over your chest and look to Steve with puppy eyes. "Baby," he starts, coming over to you, sitting on the metal seat, "what's going on? Don't you like your new backpack?" Your bottom lip wiggles again, tears in your eyes, "'S ugly." Steve looks shocked, "Honey, you love purple, what's really going on?"

That's when the damn broke, tears falling from your face and broken sobs coming out. Steve's holding his arms around you, and Bucky's found his way to rub your back. "Shhh, dove, tell papa what's got your head going so fast." You're hiccuping, letting out broken coughs with small gags, unable to form coherent words. Bucky grabs your chin, holding your straw to your lips, "Here baby, take a drink of your slushy." Somehow you listen to him, sugar is always a good bribe for you.

"Dollie," Bucky pulls you onto his lap, "what's wrong?" His eyebrows are raised, forehead against yours, noses almost touching. He's waiting for you to regain a normal breath to press harder. He doesn't get the chance, because you start talking before he can ask again. "J-jus- 'nother reason tuh ignore me."

Bucky's heart breaks, Steve's expression matching the hurt Bucky feels deep inside him. "What on earth are you talking about honey?" Your eyes start to tear up again and Bucky scolds you gently, "No, no more of that you hear me?" You nod and let Bucky wipe away one of your stray tears. "Honey, we bought the backpack because we were so worried, not so we could ignore you. You run around and poke at everything, you forget to tell your daddies what you're doing and it scares us. You understand baby?" You shrugged and Bucky sighed, kissing your cheek. He's about to say something else when Steve picks you up from Bucky's lap.

"Bucky, put the backpack on, let's go," he's gentle about it, but you're still upset. "No! Wanna see more pets!" Steve tries to lightheartedly chuckle, but it comes out dry, "Oh dove, we're not leaving the zoo, we're just moving on." When Bucky has the backpack on he puts the leash on your wrist, just as it was when Steve wore it.

Steve catches you shaking the band around your arm, and a lightbulb goes off in his head. "You see baby?" Steve starts, and you're confused, so he continues, "You're constantly playing with it, that means your eyes are on daddy at all times." You furrow your brows, a pout still resting on your face. "Go on Bucky," Steve nods in an opposite direction, and Bucky starts walking. When the leash reaches the end of its rope, your arm is pulled until Bucky turns around to face you.

You're hesitant, eyes flickering between Steve and Bucky, "No forgettin' me?" You're looking up into Steve's eyes, swimming with love, "Dove, you're everything on our mind every second of every day. We got it so if anything happened, anyone tried talking to me or Bucky, or we argued over dark or milk chocolate, we'd never be too distracted for you." You instinctively wrap your arms around his neck, cuddling closely to him.

You can feel the leash pulling on you, and it takes your attention away from Steve. Steve doesn't move his feet though, Bucky playfully moving side to side to pull at the cord around your wrist. "Papa, daddy's tryin' to run off!" You could hear Bucky laugh as Steve caught up to you. "Whatdya say we get some of that ice cream you love so much Dollie, before we go see the rest of the animals?"

You beam at Bucky, a genuine smile crossing your face that lights up your eyes. "Dippin' Dots!" You shake and dance in Steve's arms, "Lemmee down, lemme down! Dippin' Dots! Dippin' Dots! Dippin Dots!" Steve lets your feet hit the ground, and you pout a little, glancing to the backpack. Steve seems to pick up on your hesitation, "How about daddy wears the backpack, you wear the bracelet and hold my hand? That way everyone is kept together and safe?"

You happily take his hand, all wariness thrown to the wind when you started skipping. "Dollie," Bucky stops, making you and Steve stop in place. He looks stern for a minute, but then breaks into a laughing fit, pointing to the righthand turn at the intersection. "You were so excited," he kept laughing, moving you to see the stand with many balloons and a sign that says 'Dippin' Dots', "that you ran right by it!"

You take off running, Bucky and Steve quick to follow. They didn't bother trying to gently reprimand you, they didn't care if you were excited and couldn't contain yourself. In fact, they loved it, as much as they needed a way to keep track of you with the leash, they wanted a way to make sure they never miss your bubbling excitement.

When you've made it to the stand, you are tugging on Steve. He looks down to you, watching your eyes flicker to the balloons. He smiles at you, adding your favorite color balloon to the order. Once you'd all sat on a bench, he starts to tie the balloon around your free wrist but you jerk away. "Daddy," you turn to Bucky, "we switch." You starting pulling the backpack off Bucky without waiting for a response, causing him to struggle to shuffle around his dippin' dots while laughing at you.

You've safely switched who holds what, now chowing on your dippin' dots in your hand and a y/f/c balloon on your wrist. You're starting to think the backpack isn't so bad, maybe you can convince them to buy you more of the things you want if they see you so excited over them.

Or you could always pout about the backpack and get what you wanted any ways.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Into The Unknown, Part 4

First

Previous

It was late at night and Tim was having problems sleeping.

Marinette wasn’t, clearly. She had pulled on one of his old t-shirts and passed out pretty much the moment she had touched the bed. She was a cuddler when she was asleep, he had found out when she had started wrapping herself around one of his arms. He’d pushed her off, then he’d tried scooting… and then he’d fallen off the bed in an attempt to leave distance between them. The moment he’d hit the floor she’d spread out starfish style and taken up the entire bed.

(He was beginning to regret the fake marriage thing, this was definitely going to become a nightly problem if they didn’t want people questioning their marriage stability.)

He’d finally managed to successfully thwart her attempts by sticking his second pillow between them. She’d been peacefully clinging to it in the hour or so since, dreaming away.

Tim, however, was not so lucky...

It wasn’t for lack of trying, of course. In fact, logic dictated that he should have fallen unconscious a long time ago because he hadn’t managed to get his hands on almost any coffee that day. No, he certainly should have been able to sleep.

The only thing stopping him was Damian.

You see, every time he neared blissful unconsciousness, Damian would make these… sounds. They almost sounded like whimpers. Tim would jolt out of bed to make sure the kid wasn’t choking. He’d looked it up, and Damian shouldn’t choke because there was nothing near him to choke on, but dear god was it hard to believe that when the kid made those little squeaks every time he shifted in bed.

But it was nearing three in the morning, now. And Damian wouldn’t stop. And Tim was so tired.

He sighed and reached into the crib and picked up the baby.

Damian began to cry, angry at being woken up, and Tim hurriedly grabbed the pacifier from the crib in hopes that it would get the kid to shut up.

Don’t wake Marinette up don’t please he doesn’t know if she’s the kind to get angry and OH SHIT.

The bed shifted as Marinette slowly pushed herself up, and she was either squinting at the pair for disrupting her sleep or struggling to open her eyes.

“Que?” She said, not particularly mad but definitely not awake enough yet for that to happen.

“It’s fine, I’ve got it,” he assured her.

“‘Kay,” she said and it took a second for him to fully understand the language switch but, hey, she was sinking back down into the bed so at least that was good.

What wasn’t good was that Damian was still crying.

Tim sighed and shoved the pacifier in his brother’s mouth and refused to let go until Damian had realized that crying was getting them nowhere. “Good baby,” he murmured absently as he bounced the kid in his arms.

Well, if Damian was up he might as well change his diaper now. Maybe then he wouldn’t have to do it again.

He trudged to the bathroom and changed the diaper. It was less daunting now that it wasn’t his first time. Or maybe he was just too tired to care.

Whatever. He quickly washed his hands and then carried the kid to bed.

Marinette had fallen back asleep again, pillow clutched to her chest.

He squinted over. Pillows were bad around babies. (So were blankets, but it was a hot night anyway so the blankets were long since discarded at the end of the bed.) That was what the internet had told him.

Then, an idea came to him. He carefully removed the pillow and set Damian between them.

It took approximately five seconds before Marinette’s face screwed up with annoyance in her sleep and she started reaching around.

Damian made a quiet yelp as he was suddenly pulled to Marinette’s chest and caged in her arms. He gave Tim a betrayed look that was way cuter than it should have been.

Tim could only laugh and take a picture of the two of them.

Then, he settled down in bed.

Damian was still squinting at him, making it hard to sleep.

He reached a hand out and started awkwardly petting the kid’s head. Was it probably bad to pet the kid like a dog? Yes, of course. But it was working so maybe not…?

Damian fell back asleep quickly and Tim stopped his weird petting thing in favor of shifting around until he had managed to find a comfortable spot.

He cast one tired look back at Marinette and Damian. Damian was currently sucking on Marinette’s pinky finger in his sleep and, apparently, she was too out of it to even notice.

Tim smiled a little and let sleep finally take him.

~

Marinette woke up slightly confused and very warm.

She blinked the sleep from her eyes and then fought the urge to jerk back in bed when she realized that she was hugging a person not her usual giant cat plush and that the weight settled around her was yet another person.

She struggled to make her brain catch up…

Oh. Right. Robin had been turned into a baby and now she was taking care of him with Red Robin for the foreseeable future. They were pretending to be married and part of that was sharing a hotel bed because getting two beds might arouse suspicion.

… none of this explained why she was currently clinging to Damian. Or why Tim had thrown an arm over the two of them while they slept.

She could vaguely remember something happening in the middle of the night. Baby crying. Tim assuring her he had it handled… then what? She didn’t know.

Not enough information.

She decided she didn’t really care. Maybe she’d care more when she woke up more. For now...

She nuzzled her face in Damian’s hair. Still tired. No one else was awake, so --.

Damian started crying.

Marinette groaned a little. Nope. According to the baby it was morning.

She felt the arm Tim had around her pull away as he flipped onto his back. He rubbed his eyes and then looked over at her.

“Your turn,” he mumbled.

“Noooooooo,” she whined even as she released Damian to sit up.

But then Damian crawled over to Tim and threw himself onto his stomach. Tim wheezed as the air was sapped from his lungs.

Marinette hid her amusement behind her hand as best she could, but she couldn’t help but say: “Y’know, I think the kid might just disagree with you on that one.”

He removed one of the hands from his face to flip her off.

She snickered. “Fuck you too. But, really, I’ll do it. Just give me a second to wake up a little.”

He buried his face into one of the pillows and didn’t do anything more so she assumed that was him accepting it.

She gave herself one long sigh before she picked up Damian and started preparing him for the day.

~

Tim was pretty sure his arms were going to fall off. Why are babies so heavy? They’re so little. Where were they even putting all that weight? That should be illegal.

Well, they were going shopping, at least. They could get a stroller. In fact, if Tim had his way it would be the first thing they would do.

… obviously, he didn’t.

Marinette dragged him to a jewelry store.

He raised his eyebrows as he leaned over the case of rings with her. “You know we aren’t actually getting married, right?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yep. But I’m pretty sure if I left you alone you’d buy me something from whatever this world’s version of Claire’s is.”

Tim blushed a little. That kind of had been the intention.

She didn’t seem to notice. “Also, if I’m married guys might leave me alone.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“You’d be surprised,” she said. She waved over a clerk and pointed to two simple silver bands. “Just these two, please.”

He waited for the clerk to leave before sending the woman in front of them an odd look.

“I thought you’d go for something more… more,” he said.

She shrugged. “We’re on a budget.”

“Oh.”

Then she flashed a grin and reached out to poke his nose. “But once we get a stable income you’re totally getting me a nicer ring.”

He held his free hand up in mock surrender. “Okay, fine.”

Damian saw the slight freedom as an indication that it was time to pitch himself out of Tim’s arms and Marinette yelped as she reached out to catch the child. Damian whined, which seemed to be the norm for preventing him from dying an early death.

She sighed and set the baby down on his feet with only her hand to keep him upright. “I’m going to let him walk around a little since he seems bored. You pay.”

“I’m paying either way.”

She stuck her tongue out at him before letting the baby lead her in aimless directions as Damian struggled to learn how to properly use his legs.

~

They had a stroller now. Damian was determinedly refusing to use it. He was hardly even letting them hold him now, throwing a fit whenever they tried to pick him up. Marinette made a mistake by letting him ‘walk’, apparently.

“Don’t know what we expected,” Tim half-joked.

Marinette shrugged helplessly.

Damian walked between the two of them, using their hands as a kind of crutch to keep himself on his feet while he half-walked-half-stumbled around.

When they got to the end of an escalator the both of them lifted Damian so he wouldn’t trip and, apparently, this became the kid’s favorite thing. He yelled ‘again’ in Arabic and the two of them had smiled because it was kind of cute that Damian could find so much joy in something as simple as being carried by the hand for a few seconds.

… it got less cute over time.

Tim let go of the stroller for half a second to pinch the bridge of his nose as they lifted him for what must have been the millionth time that hour.

“Okay. Okay. We can split up. Do you want to do clothes or toys and books?”

“Clothes. I need to get some stuff for myself and, honestly, I don’t trust you to find cute outfits.” She glanced him up and down, fighting the way her lip tried to curl in disgust. Tim must have had someone to dress him back home because there was no way he had managed to get famous dressing like that. “So, I’ll dress myself.”

He frowned. “What’s wrong with how I dress?”

She ignored him in favor of leaning down to speak to Damian. “Do you want to go get clothes?”

“... ma?”

Right. He spoke a different language.

She glanced up at Tim. “While you’re looking at parenting books, grab books on raising bilingual kids.”

“Weren’t you raised in a bilingual household? Why not just use that?” He asked, frowning.

“... just because I’m mixed doesn’t mean I was taught both languages.”

He winced a little and nodded. “Right. Okay. Meet back up here in an hour or so?”

She laughed at him. “Please. I’ll call you when I’m done picking out clothes.”

“... you know I haven’t forgotten that you totally dissed me, right?”

“C’mon, Dami, we gotta go!” She said brightly, picking up the kid despite his protests and speed walking away.

~~~~~

Next

@nathleigh @peachmuses @unoriginalmess @hammalammadamdam @astrynyx

[glowingspence]

Extended family

Summary: "What if Cat had Spencer's child and Spencer is left to take care of it? At least he has an old friend to help him.”

Warnings: Past sexual assault, self-harm

Paring: Platonic Moreid

Word count: 1621

Ao3

Chapter 1:

"Please, please stop crying" Spencer whispers, holding the baby in his arms. He has dark blond hair but brown eyes,dressed in baby clothes that JJ dropped off this afternoon. "Please" Gently he moves his hand to the baby's head while his screams fill the small apartment. "You have everything, there is no need to cry."

He had been crying for the last hours and Spencer is at a loss what to do. He did everything he could think of. It doesn't make sense for him to cry, he shouldn't be crying, he should be sleeping.

They are on the floor, Spencer sitting crossed legged, looking down on him. Cat had named him Theo, Spencer had agreed. She will never be a mother, he figured the least he can do is letting her decide the name of her child.

"You are safe, Theo. You can stop crying." He begs again, tears running down his face. He has read enough studies to know that the baby needs him and that he can't just place him in the crip Rossi had built with Matt this morning.

Why did they leave? Why did they have to go on a case? He doesn't know how to take care of this baby. He hardly ever felt this alone. "Please, stop crying" Spencer sobs. "I can't take it anymore,please."

He had tried so many things, even his own comfort item he had placed on Theo's chest but it hadn't helped.

Frustrated Spencer starts hitting his head against the wall behind him, the screams of the child feel like they are getting louder and louder. Like they burn themselves into his brain and he holds him tight, he doesn't want to hurt him. He won't be like his mother, he will be better but he can't stop this anymore. He can't stop hitting his head because it sends out these little calm rushes through his body for so quick seconds and when he hits fast enough they come again before it hurts.

And then someone takes him out of his hands and there are voices and he can finally move his hands and he starts flapping them, he wants his child back but on the other hand he is finally not feeling his weight on him anymore, he doesn't have the responsibility but the calm only holds for seconds until he panics. What if the neighbors called the police? What if someone takes Theo away and he will get hospitalized like his mom? What if they find out he can't take care of him?

Derek and Savannah had driven down here after JJ called them, telling them what happened with Cat and that Spencer is alone with a child that is the result of probably one of the most traumatizing days of his life.

Derek took the child and handed it to Savannah who started speaking soothing words to him, getting him a pacifier while Derek tries calming Spencer down.

"Watch your head, please" It had been years since he watched a meltdown but he still gets the same nervous pitch in his stomach when he sees Spencer hitting his head against the wall with full force. "You two are safe, it's me, Morgan. Your baby is with Savannah."

He gives him a few moments and then tries getting his attention again. "Spencer, can you hear me?" Disoriented Spencer reaches for him and grabs his shirt when he finds it, pulling at it. "I am here, I am here, kid" He places his hand over Spencer's. "We are gonna help you now okay?"

"Theo"

"Is that his name?"

"Theo, my baby" He brings out and hits his head against the wall a couple of times again. "Mine"

"We are not taking him away? Do you wanna hold him?"

"Mine"

"Okay, you can." Savannah walks over to him with the now quiet baby, placing it in Spencer's arms again.

"You are already a natural at this." She exclaims with a soft smile. "Look at you"

"My baby"

"You have a beautiful boy there." Derek tells him and gently touches the head of the baby. "Look at those cute little cheeks."

"Small"

"He is very small." Savannah answers. "But that is okay, some babies are smaller than others. We have babies with all kinds of sizes at the hospital."

"Hank was even smaller and he is fine now." Morgan reminds him. "We are gonna take you two with to our home okay?"

"Mine"

"I know, pretty boy. It's your child, nobody is taking it away from you." Derek calms him while Savannah reaches up to his head, wiping the hair back and spending some comfort. "We are gonna take you both okay?"

"Why?"

"Because then we can help you just for now okay? Just to get things settled." Derek explains and knows he is using Spencer's state of irritation and exhaustion from the meltdown to convince him easier.

"You are not my friend anymore, remember?" Offended Spencer turns away shielding the child from Morgan and twitching his head ones so that Savannah let's go of him.

"Why not?"

"Because you left" Spencer states, a tear dropping down on Theos jumper. "Left me alone."

"I know but I am here now."

"Had to do everything alone then."

"I know,kid. That wasn't fair."

"All confusing."

"I know, I can't imagine what you have been through." The first weeks after he left the team he didn't hear anything aside from messages from the them how Hank is doing and how Savannah's recovery is going but then he got a call from Hotch telling him that he has no idea how to help Spencer and that he has no idea what he can do to help him so Morgan came back one time to talk through what he did to accommodate him on cases but when Spencer saw him at the office he started crying so badly when he learned Morgan was just there for a quick visit he promised himself to never do that again and he had hurt Spencer in the progress bad enough for him to never call or text him ever again. "I am gonna take Theo now okay? Can you let Savannah check on your head?"

"Don't wanna go with you"

"It's okay, honey." Savannah assures him, rubbing his back. "We are gonna make you feel at home okay? We have a guest room and a room for Hank we have enough space for both of you. We are just gonna drive over to our home so we can help you and if help means that you don't want Theo with you we can still help you okay? This is okay, whatever you are feeling."

"My baby"

"I know, it's gonna stay your baby. We are just gonna help you, like you helped JJ or like Jessica helped Hotch."

"Don't want to give him away"

"You don't have to, it's your child. I promise we are not taking him away. No one is taking him away." Savannah soothes him and eventually Morgan can take the baby from Spencer. "Okay, can you look at me for a quick second? Just gonna check for any sign that you hurt your head."

"What is Morgan doing with Theo?"

"He is gonna place him into baby carrier so we drive with him." Savannah explains and checks his head being relieved to find no injuries. "I am sure you will want to pack something right?"

"Are we going to drive over now?"

"Yes" Anxious Spencer starts tapping his chest, and looking to the floor. "What do you wanna take?"

"My blanket"

"We can pack that, come on." She holds her hand out for him to take, nodding in Derek's direction to show him that she got this. "Do you have a bag somewhere?" Shyly Spencer points at his go bag from work that Savannah drops onto his bed and takes the old clothes out. "You just tell me what you need for the night, okay? We can always get your other stuff."

"Blanket"

"Right here." She pulls it over and folds it so it fits into the bag. "What else?"

"Theo has my stuffed animal. I want it back."

"Doesn't he have his own yet?"

"No"

"Okay we can buy one tomorrow what do you think?"

"Please."

"I am gonna get it for you okay? You don't have to share it."

"Don't want him to break it"

"That's okay" All she has in mind is her husband blaming himself years after his own abuse for it and for it to happen to so many more children. She just wants to make Spencer as soon as possible feel understood and that whatever he is feeling is okay and not something he has to suppress. "Why don't you pack the rest?"

"You are just gonna take me to your place right?"

"Yes we will drive to our house."

"I am gonna hurt you if you try locking me up"

"We are not locking you up." Savannah tries calming him. "I promise you we are just taking you to our home together with Theo."

"If you lock me up I will make sure Cat will come for you-"

"Deep breath. We will not hospitalize you because you had a meltdown. That happens because of your autism which you had your entire life and were perfectly able to handle. We are just helping you with the transition to having to take care of a baby and we will look together for solutions so you are not alone but it's your child, your little baby and you are his father. You decide everything, you always have the last word. We are just here to help you two."

[cuddlepilefics]

baby space chan please please please, maybe minho as a cg, including things like stress, pacifiers and bottle

Channie ish tiwed

 Fandom: Stray Kids

Little: Chan

Caregiver: Minho

 No one’s POV.:

Times had been tough on Stray Kids lately. Out of the blue, their management demanded them to produce a new album in half the time they usually needed. It shouldn’t be too hard on 3racha because Chan had a massive amount of unpublished songs on his laptop, yet he didn’t feel confident enough in them to have any of them published, at least not the way they were right now. The leader was always harsh on himself when it came to the music he was producing and only a small fraction actually made it on one of their albums. What was even more bothersome, was that their company building was under construction and it was hard to find a studio where it was quiet enough to record anything. Not being in the studio he was used to, was a big stressor for Chan. He had become attached to that room and felt the most motivated and focused there. Not being in his known environment was distracting the Aussie and slowed him down significantly. He ended up staying later every night and at some point, he didn’t even let Changbin and Jisung stay with him to help him because one, they were obviously exhausted though they tried not to show it too much and two, they distracted their hyung too. Usually they didn’t distract him but while already being unable to properly focus, any form of company had become a distraction for the oldest.

After impressive two hours of sleep at the dorm, Chan packed his things and got ready to go to the studio again. His members were still asleep but he couldn’t afford to rest too much, despite the headache he had developed from stress and exhaustion days prior. It wasn’t too bad, merely a nuisance that kept him from focusing but not enough to keep him from working. Just as he slipped on his shoes to head out, his phone buzzed with a message that had been sent to all JYP employees. The electrician had made a mistake, which left the entire company building without power. Reading this, Chan wanted to cry. How was he supposed to complete their album on time if he can’t even use the studio? Having to switch to a different one had already been hard enough but now? He’d have to work at the dorm. It would be tough because his members would all be home too. How was he supposed to focus and get something done here? He couldn’t even tell them to go and practice some dances because the dance rooms didn’t have power either and if they started dancing in their living room, Chan would have an emotional breakdown. Taking a few deep breaths, he took out his laptop and placed it on the dining table. He made his way to the kitchen to get himself a big cup of strong coffee. He’d really need that. The Aussie tried to make peace with the situation, since there was nothing he could do about it but still, he couldn’t help but feel even more stressed than before. He’d try to get as much done at the dining table before the first members woke up and when his roommates were up, he’d claim their shared bedroom as his new workplace and God forbid if anyone dared to disturb him.

Chan wasn’t usually an irritable person but with the sleep-deprivation and pressure put on him, he tended to snap at people quicker than anyone would expect. Especially, when it was one of his dongsaengs deliberately trying to keep him from working and telling him to go to bed. Couldn’t they see that their songs didn’t write themselves? Taking a huge gulp of his coffee, Chan burned his tongue and cursed under his breath. By the way his day was starting, he just wanted to go back to bed and pull the blanket over his head to hide from the world. He caught himself pouting at the screen in front of him and frowned that his little side was rising to the surface now out of all times. If he slipped, he’d get even less work done, so he really needed another sip of coffee, no matter how hot it was. His little self despised anything that tasted remotely bitter and considering how strong the Aussie had brewed his coffee this morning, bitter wasn’t even strong enough of a word to describe the taste. The bitterness on his tongue instantly brought his focus back and he continued to work somewhat focused for almost thirty minutes till Seungmin shuffled into the kitchen. The vocalist was a morning person and needing the least time to wake up and get out of bed, he often ended up making breakfast for his friends. With his headphones on, Chan hadn’t even heard him come in but as though he was able to feel his presence, he instantly got distracted. Looking up, he removed one of his headphones and grumbled: “The company building is out of power, so if you want, you can go back to bed.”

Seungmin had other plans though. Since they didn’t have to hurry to get to the company in time, they could have a bigger breakfast and he was awake anyway, so why not make pancakes for everyone. Chan wanted to rip out his hair as soon as the clanging of pots started behind him. His focus was gone but where could he go? He could hear Seungmin’s cooking in the living room too but all the bedrooms were still occupied. Putting his headphones fully back on, the leader tried to drown out the noise but like earlier, the presence itself was enough to distract him. He felt like crying and couldn’t tell whether the exhaustion was making him emotional or whether his little side was coming out, either way, coffee would help. Taking another gulp of the slowly cooling drink, he picked up his laptop and went to the bathroom. The Aussie closed the door behind him and sat down on the closed toilet lid with his laptop on his lap. It wasn’t the most comfortable position to work in but it was quiet and he was alone, which was exactly what he needed right now. Looking around deep in thought as he was searching for the right word that would fit the flow of their lyrics, his eyes landed on his rubber duck, that sat on the edge of the bathtub. He cursed himself for leaving his coffee on the dining table and quickly shoved the bath toy into a random drawer, not caring where it went as long as it was out of his sight.

Chan almost fell off the toilet in shock when the door suddenly opened. He didn’t know why he was so surprised because it had been only a matter of time till someone would have to use the bathroom. “Hyung?”, Hyunjin asked confused. The leader took off his headphones and sighed: “The company building is out of power, so I tried to find a quiet place here.” He closed his laptop and left, continuing his search for a hiding place where he could hopefully get some of his work done. “Wait, hyung, why don’t you use our room? Seungmin and I are up already and Minho-hyung’s sleeping. He’s a heavy sleeper, so I don’t think he’d wake up”, the dancer offered. It actually seemed like a good idea. Maybe the distracting feeling of someone’s presence wouldn’t be as strong of that someone was asleep because living with seven other people, it would be quite difficult to find an unoccupied spot.

The Aussie quietly snuck into the bedroom, glancing at Minho who was indeed still deeply asleep. He set up his laptop on Seungmin’s desk, grateful that the younger was such a tidy person. He was lucky, Minho’s presence wasn’t distracting at all, he just needed to make sure not to accidentally look at the sleeping dancer. Minho was Chan’s caregiver whenever the leader slipped into his headspace and seeing him lay there so peacefully, the little in him just wanted to go and get some cuddles from his daddy. It looked so, so cozy over there but as long as he didn’t look, he’d be able to resist. Too bad that the song he was working on wasn’t working out the way he had thought it would. Something just sounded off, not right at all, but he didn’t know what he’d have to fix to make it sound right. Minho, who was just waking up, got the scare of his life when a frustrated Chan punched the closet standing next to the desk. As soon as his heart slowed down a bit, he got out of bed and spun the chair his hyung was sitting in around. He made it just in time to keep the leader from throwing his laptop across the room, something he’d surely regret. What he was doing was risky because he didn’t know how mad the older was and why he was mad in the first place. “Hey, what’s got you so work up that you need to resort to violence”, the dancer asked sternly, trying to hide how nervous he was about interrupting Chan when he had just punched something. The older looked up at him with a pout and whined: “Channie ish tiwed!” Immediately afterwards, the first tear spilled over and within a few seconds, he was full on sobbing.

Minho was taken aback but quickly pulled the little out of his chair and guided him to his unmade bed, where they sat down together. “It’s okay, ducky. You’ve been working so hard, I’d be confused if you weren’t tired”, he hummed, resting his back against the wall and pulling Chan against his chest. The leader only whimpered in response and buried his face in his sweater paws. He rarely got this worked up, so Minho was unsure about the best way of calming him down. Reaching behind him, the dancer grabbed the cat plushie he always kept on his bed and handed it to the little, who instantly clutched it to his chest. The caregiver smiled softly when he watched the other calm down a bit as soon as he held the plushie, carefully he whispered: “Channie, can you tell me how old you are?” The Aussie looked at him with teary eyes, lip quivering as he remained silent. “Aww, is my little ducky too little to talk?”, Minho cooed, cupping the little’s damp cheek and brushing his thumb under the other’s eye to brush away the tears. Chan only whined and slipped the cord of his hoodie between his lips, chewing on it. “Channie, do you want to tell daddy what made you so frustrated?”, he tried quietly, quite certain that he wouldn’t get a reply but he wanted to give the other a chance to get it off his chest. The leader responded with whines and some blabbering around the cord in his mouth. Although he didn’t understand a word, Minho nodded along understandingly and when the little grew quiet he gasped: “Really, I’m sorry, baby. Don’t think about it too much yeah?” Chan nodded and cuddled back into his caregiver’s chest.

They sat for a while till the little had calmed down and completely forgotten about work. With some struggle, Minho picked him up and carried him to the living room, where everyone else was gathered already as the two had taken quite some time. “What’s going on?”, Felix frowned, getting up from the couch, so that the older could sit down with Chan in his lap. The leader hid his face against his shoulder, feeling shy, so Minho ran his hand up and down the little’s back and sighed: “He finally slipped after putting it off due to work for who knows how long. I think he’s in babyspace, so if you could get me his stuff from your room?” The younger nodded, quickly searching for the box his hyung kept his little gear in. He placed the box on the coffee table but took one item out already. Chan owned a light-blue pacifier, a color that was calm and soothing to look at. “Hey, little one, do you want your paci?”, he cooed, holding the comfort item out to the other. The leader hesitantly lifted his head from Minho’s shoulder and looked at Felix, opening his mouth. The freckled boy giggled and placed the paci between the little’s lips.

Chan whined again and nuzzled his face against his daddy’s neck. “Ah, I forgot to mention, he’s exhausted and I’m going to put him down for a nap”, the caregiver chuckled, turning his face to press a soft kiss on the little’s cheek. He was just about to get up, when Seungmin stopped him: “I don’t think he had breakfast yet and judging by those eyebags, he’s going to be out cold till after lunch.” – “Right, hm, could you make him a bottle? Just hot milk with some honey. I can’t really put him down when he’s this little, other wise I’d do it myself”, the dancer pleaded. The younger nodded, smiling: “Sure, you don’t have to do this all by yourself. We want to help our leader too, you know?” Jeongin took the bottle from the box and handed it to Seungmin, adding: “You just go ahead, either to his or to your room and I’ll take this box and follow you, so you two can get settled.” Minho nodded gratefully and carried Chan to his room. Jeongin and Changbin followed him and while Jeongin placed the box down on the bed, Changbin collected Chan’s laptop. Him and Jisung could try and continue their work, so their hyung wouldn’t have as much work left when he’d come out of his headspace again. “There, you can get all comfy, ducky”, Minho whispered, placing Chan down on his bed. Jeongin was already rummaging through the box of little gear, checking if there was anything he could want to have with him for a nap. He found a little bird plush with a rattle in it but other than that, the other things were would have to wait till the little was better rested.

Minho sat down with his back against the headboard and settled Chan against his chest, remembering that he still had to feed him his bottle before he could take a nap. The little whined a bit, but was easily distracted by his rattle. The maknae shook it a few times before handing it to the Aussie who looked at it with wondering eyes. Jeongin then closed the blinds, leaving only small slits at the bottom to allow enough light in to see. Then he patted the little’s head and told him to have sweet dreams before leaving the two alone. Seungmin came in quietly, handing Minho the bottle and worrying: “Hyung, he already had coffee this morning and with how bad his insomnia gets, I’m not sure if he really can sleep right now.” – “Hm, usually his insomnia is much better when he’s little because he has less things on his mind and I don’t know if coffee is even affecting him anymore, considering his body must be used to it at this point. At least that’s what I hope because I have no idea what’s going to happen if he stays awake much longer”, the dancer hummed, raking his fingers through Chan’s hair. Seungmin nodded and left them alone, knowing the leader was shy about using his bottle when people were looking. Minho plucked the paci out of the little’s mouth, earning a disapproving whine, and quickly replacing it with the bottle after checking whether it had drinking temperature. The Aussie relaxed as he suckled his warm, sweet milk and played with the small rattle in his hands. His eyes started to droop shut towards the end but by the time the bottle was empty, he was awake again, whimpering as he just wanted to sleep off the headache that had been bugging him for a few days already. Minho placed a kiss on his forehead before cradling his head against his chest, sighing: “Aww ducky, you’re okay. Should daddy try to sing you to sleep?” The little nodded with a sad pout and closed his eyes, only focusing on his daddy’s voice and the fingers messing with his hair. Watching Chan’s breathing even out, the dancer mumbled sadly: “Get some rest, little one.”

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

Inspired by a conversation with @theimpossiblescheme​, have some purely self indulgent demelonzostrap fluff with just a touch of Munkustrap angst. 

Munkustrap crept carefully into his little den, conscious of the dreadfully late hour and the suffocating silence of the dark, cramped space. Another day nearly over with the next morning fast on its heels, mostly uneventful, seemingly gone so quickly that he'd hardly processed the hours ticking by at all. Why did it always seem as though there was never enough time? And hadn't he promised that he would have been sleeping by now? That he was going to, at least, be home at a reasonable time tonight?

So much for that.

The persistent twinge of exhaustion stung behind the tom's eyes, dry and burning, and was soon to settle itself into the usual headache. Unpleasant, but he was used to it. It always came about around this time - not much he could do. All he really needed, he mused, was to curl away and sleep for a day or two, but he stubbornly pushed the thought down, and instead pacified himself with the knowledge that an undisturbed few hours were better than nothing; that it was good enough. That was at least one thing of benefit in the wee hours of the morning - Munkustrap could hold the tentative hope that the world could turn without him. That no one expected anything of him until the sun rose. That he could trust his other protectors to pick up the slack he left behind.

Whether that was enough to get him to actually sleep was another story entirely. He was still getting used to the idea in practice, after all.

Munkustrap paused momentarily before the cloth separating his bed from the rest of the space. He willed for his mind to settle and calm a moment - "leaving his troubles at the door," as Jenny would say - before pushing through, taking another second to allow his eyes to adjust to the even dimmer light.

The first thing he noticed was Demeter curled on her side in the middle of the blanket, fast asleep. A moment more, and he could make out the lap her cheek was pressed against, attached to the profile of a very much awake Alonzo, sitting hunched above her. From the preliminary glance, the other tom looked to be deep in thought, staring off into space somewhere and absentmindedly petting Demeter's shoulder. 

Speaking of things he was still getting used to. A wholly welcome thing, this one, but it still managed to catch him by surprise.

It was always a treat, Munkustrap thought briefly, to catch the two cats at their most relaxed, seeing how gentle Alonzo could be behind closed doors, how happily Demeter could sing to herself when she thought no one could hear her. How the two of them could just...exist beyond any pre-weighted notion of behaviour or assumption.

There was something very humbling about it. 

When Munkustrap took a cautious step forward, letting the cloth fall behind him, Alonzo's ears and tail perked up, suddenly motionless and on full alert. When he sharply turned his head towards the other tom, there was a reflection of something…unfamiliar in his eyes. An instinct flared to life at the sight, Munkustrap feeling his stomach sink at having been "caught" (in his own den, no less). But before he crouched too far on the defense, feeling his fur bristle through no control of his own, he stopped to remind himself where he was and who was in front of him. 

It felt like forever, but the tense stare-down was over in seconds. Munkustrap saw Alonzo's eyes flash with recognition and his posture immediately relaxed.

"Hey." Simple as it was, the greeting was low and warm, sending a soft tingle down Munkustrap's spine. "All through?" 

The silver tabby hummed affirmatively. "Socrates took over. I decided to take one last loop around - thought I ran into something concerning, but I figured it out."

Alonzo continued to study his face in the low light, absorbing the information given, expression unreadable. Munkustrap resisted the urge to hold his breath as he was scrutinized.

"You smell weird," Alonzo finally murmured, lowering his tail. "Almost didn't recognize you. You been rolling around in the dirt?"

Munkustrap left the observation and not-quite-question (playful or serious he couldn't quite tell) alone, smoothing the fur on his neck back down. "What were you doing?" he whispered instead, mindful of Demeter's sleeping form as he sat across from them. 

Alonzo glanced down at the queen. "She tried waiting up for you. You said you planned on coming back here tonight instead of the high-rise." Alonzo barely hid his look of distaste at the mention of Munkustrap's human home. It was no secret that the former alley cat didn't particularly like humans of any variety, even the nice ones with cats of their own, unless they were feeding them. And even then he gave them a wide berth, especially the young ones with their grabbing hands. Still, though, being involved with a housecat meant he'd had to start tolerating Emily at the very least. That was still very much a work in progress.

"I told her that you probably wouldn't be done until late," he continued, resuming the gentle petting of her shoulder. "And she knew, but she insisted. Didn't quite make it, and I wasn't about to wake her up."

"Oh," Munkustrap muttered, feeling a sudden confused warmth bloom to life in his belly, tampered very slightly by guilt. As if on queue, Demeter sighed  - a soft, airy thing - and turned her head. The queen's profile was lit in the relief of slivers of moonlight leaking into the den, her whiskers twitching as she slept. She looked so young then, so unbothered, and so different from the usual heavy furrow of her brow. She had always been lovely, but there was something particularly remarkable about her right at that moment.

Munkustrap reached to gently touch her ears, but thought better of it and pulled his paw away. Alonzo was right - the last thing he wanted was to wake her from a much deserved sleep. Unsure of what to say, he looked back up at the patched tom, who was still studying him intently. "I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't…" Munkustrap flicked his gaze around, suddenly noticing an absence. "Where's Jemima?

"Ideally with Jenny and Jelly, and most likely also still awake," Alonzo calmly explained, as though he were reiterating a morning report. Munkustrap looked at him blankly. "Sleepover, remember? Etcetera practically knocked your wall in this morning."

Munkustrap nodded slowly, the memory of being so violently startled shifting to the forefront of his mind. Right. Now that he thought of it, he did vaguely remember the two queenkits looking up at him, wide eyed and pleading for his permission - and the round robin of having them ask Demeter, who told them to ask Jenny, who'd been unavailable, so they'd asked Jelly instead, who told them to ask him again, and so on and so forth. Poor things. But they hadn't seemed at all bothered. The two of them together were nothing if not determined.

Munkustrap felt another abrupt and inexplicable wave of guilt over such a small thing. He'd known all that, hadn't he? He'd been the one to give them permission. Had he really let that slip his mind? Been that distracted? Everlasting help him, the day had been blurrier than he thought.

"Don't worry," Alonzo whispered, as though he’d heard him. "She told us to: 'give daddy a hug when he comes home', because she missed you, and that she promises she'll be back tomorrow, in case you missed her."

Munkustrap sat back on his haunches, feeling a great big...something inside of himself. What had he ever done, he wondered distantly, to deserve such a little light as Jemima? He’d have to make good on that in the morning. Well, in the daylight anyhow. It was already morning. 

"I'll let her give you her own hug," the other tom continued, yawning, tail twitching. "Don't think it'd mean the same thing coming from me. I'm just the messenger."

Munkustrap had to admit that the image he conjured up for that one was more than a little amusing. Still, though, his racing mind continued ticking away, processing and reprocessing. "So, if not for that, why are you still up? You should be sleeping, too."

At this, Alonzo finally fully smiled. It was a frail and distantly sleepy thing, so different from his usual cock-sure grin. "I was also waiting up for you."

"Oh," Munkustrap repeated, the noise dying halfway in his throat (Oh, how eloquent he really was when it came down to it). Were he a lesser cat, he would have started wringing his tail. Third strike and he was out. "Why?"

"Why?" Alonzo echoed, incredulous. "Why, he asks. Haven’t you been listening?"

Munkustrap blinked, feeling for a moment as though he were missing out on a joke. It wouldn’t have been the first time. The question had been a genuine one, and the reasoning genuinely confusing. Something wasn’t quite adding up, though the numbers were all clearly in front of him.

Alonzo’s smile faltered slightly, tilting his head. "You're really going to make me say it, huh?"

“Apparently.”

There was a moment, flashing so faintly in the dark that he could have convinced himself he’d seen things, that Alonzo’s expression turned to one of understanding and sympathy, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. His next statement was gentle and firm:

"Because I missed you, too."

Munkustrap finally looked down to his lap, staring at his paws and he struggled to get the sudden stinging behind his eyes under control. This time around, though, it had nothing to do with his exhaustion headache. How tired was he really, that something so simple was affecting him so strongly? Alonzo had said it so casually, as though it were an obvious thing that he should have known. Demeter had struggled to wait up for him, because it had seemed obvious for her to do so. Even Jemima had taken the time to let him know that she would miss him, in her flighty kittenish way. It was so much. Didn’t they deserve more than he was able to give them? Weren’t they aware of this?

“Hey, are you okay?” Alonzo sounded startled. “You look like you’re about to short circuit.”

He looked back up at him. What a surreal feeling it was, truly, to be missed. To be certain, if only for a moment, that his presence was wanted, when he had struggled so long with thinking it wasn’t. It was overwhelming. Hadn’t he spent all that time convincing himself that no one would ever want to wait up for him at night, or miss him in the mornings? That it would be too difficult to content themselves with marrying the weight of the responsibility he carried on his shoulders? That he would never want to put another cat through that? That he wasn’t truly worth a second look and could content himself with giving all the love he could, while taking none for himself?

How times had truly changed, and how quickly.

“I...I’m sorry. For making you wait up.”

Alonzo definitely looked sympathetic now, reaching to grab his shoulder. “You didn’t make us do anything, Munkustrap. I’m a grown-up and so is Demeter. I like to think we can be trusted to make our own decisions. Maybe her more than me.”

Munkustrap nodded, leaning his face so he felt the gentle brush of his paw against his whiskers.

“You really are tired, huh? Demeter’s going to give you an earful tomorrow.”

For the first time that evening, Munkustrap felt a genuine chuckle bubble up his throat.

"Come here." Alonzo pulled him insistently to the ground, leaving no room for protest. It took a moment of maneuvering at an awkward angle, but he managed to lay opposite Demeter, whose head had been carefully shifted from Alonzo’s lap to the blankets beneath her. Heart suddenly fuller than he thought possible, his headache near forgotten, he curled an arm around the queen, exhaling when she curved to meet him halfway, as though she’d been waiting for him the entire time. 

Munkustrap looked up at Alonzo, still sitting, with the softest of halos in the moonlight. Funny, wasn’t it, how often he and Demeter matched in spite of how different they were. “What about you? Won't you be tired?”

Alonzo snorted, shrugging. “I've survived on less.”

“But -”

“Go to sleep, Munk,” Alonzo said firmly, touching the back of his paw to his temple. “I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

And perhaps, with Demeter curled against his belly and Alonzo’s shadow looming over them both, he would sleep well for his precious few hours, no matter how little time it seemed to be. Perhaps it was more than good enough. 

Perhaps he was more than good enough.

[agerestorybits]

Looking at me

Virgil had worked too hard to be accepted like he had been to ruin it now. He had a reputation to uphold. An image that he worked too hard on to mess up. Hardcore edgy was easy to mess up. It didn’t help that Patton insisted on treating him like a kid. That did NOT help. Because...well...

He age regressed to cope with stress.

It was way too ‘cute’ and childish, if any of the others found out he had no idea what he would do. They would never take him seriously again! So when in the middle of an argument he found himself starting to slip he just...left.

He didn’t really have a choice. He claimed that he was done dealing with all the stupid and sunk out before anyone could stop him. It wasn’t the first time he had done that, but it still made him nervous that they would follow him every time.

What if Thomas called him back? Would he be able to snap out of it before everyone figured out that something was off? What if they came into his room again?

That’s why he never got dressed in one of his onesies. Despite really really wanting to wear them. Or use the pacifiers he had carefully spent hours decorating till they were just right. All used purple and black with either spiders, bats, or just cobwebs. Or cuddled with any of the stuffed animals he had hidden in the back of his closet.

No. He couldn’t let them know. Nor could he let himself ever completely regress. It had only happened a couple of times and both times he had almost been caught. He had to be careful. Still that didn’t stop him from coloring and chewing on his thumb.

There was a knock at his door. He got up from the floor and forced himself into an older headspace. More of a teen than a child, but old enough that no one would notice anything off.

“What?” He demanded opening the door.

Logan was unmoved by his hostility. “If you are not doing anything important Patton has called a family meeting.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “No thanks.”

“There will be baked goods.” Logan said.

Virgil hated that that worked. “Alright. Fine. Fifteen minutes tops.”

Logan smiled, “Don’t worry it won’t take long.”

Virgil paused at that. That was weird. Logan rarely just...smiled. Whatever they were going to talk about must have been good news.

At least he hoped it was good news.

They figured it out and they’re going to kick you out now! His brain screamed at him.

No way that was happening. He had been too careful….hadn’t he been?

He walked in and Patton was whispering something to Roman who was grinning. Ok this was starting to freak him out. He jumped up so he was sitting on the countertop. “Alright. I’m here. Start talking.” He grabbed a muffin from a tray close by.

“Well you see-” Roman started.

“We’re dating!” Patton yelled.

Virgil choked on his bite of muffin. He managed to swallow and clear his throat without dying and gasped out a rough, “What?”

Logan took a breath, “Yes. We three have entered into a relationship and wanted to inform you.”

“Cool.” was Virgil’s reply. “Was that it?”

“You are being surprisingly chill about this.” Roman said, narrowing his eyes.

Virgil rolled his, “What you three do doesn’t really matter that much to me. If anything this means you won’t be bugging me as much.”

“An...interesting way to look at it.” Logan said.

Patton was watching Virgil carefully. Virgil jumped off the counter. “Err….Congrats? I guess?”

“That wasn’t the only thing we wanted to talk about.” Roman said.

“What else is there?” Virgil asked, ready to leave. He was going to drop again soon and he needed to be in his room before that happened.

“We were.. Are worried about you. You’ve been acting...off lately.” Roman continued.

Virgil froze like a deer in headlights. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you’ve been biting your thumb more.” Logan said.

“Your insults have gotten more childish.” Roman said.

“And you seem more on edge.” Patton said.

“That’s...nothing. Just...me being me.” Virgil excused lamely.

Stupid! He cursed himself internally. He had been messing up without even noticing. But they had noticed. How much had they pieced together?

“If something is wrong feel free to come to any one of us about it.” Logan said. “We won’t judge you.”

Virgil stared pointedly at Roman who blinked after a second. “I swear I won’t make fun of you for whatever it is. I just want to make sure you’re ok.”

Virgil took a breath. He really really had to get out of here. “Thanks but no thanks.”

“Virgil.” Patton said. “We’re here for you.”

“And that’s great! Really! Just that...nothing’s wrong! I am fine. Great even.” Virgil said.

“Why are you lying then?” Roman asked.

Virgil glared at him as his heart beat picked up. “I’m leaving now. Enjoy making out or whatever.”

“Virgil-”

He flipped them off as he left.

---

He locked his door and sat down on his bed. He kept looking at his closet.

Fuck it! He pulled out a onesie and a stuffed red panda. It was a soft blue bear onesie that was a bit larger than it needed to be so it made him feel extra small. He curled up on his bed and hugged the red panda to his chest.

He felt like sleeping. Or maybe he felt like crying.

The worry from earlier was wearing off and left him exhausted. To the point of passing out. Since he was little he didn’t see any problem sleeping now even if it was mid afternoon.

He woke up getting summoned, He panicked and just managed to snapped himself into his normal clothing before rising up.

“Oh good you’re...why are you wearing your old jacket?” Roman asked.

“Felt nostalgic.” He lied smoothly.

“Or maybe...you aren’t Virgil!” Roman pointed at him.

“You honestly can’t be saying I’m Janus.” Virgil said grumping at being woken up.

“Well…”

Virgil rolled his eyes, He waved his hand and Janus rose up. He looked around, “Virgil. You are the First person I expect to call me.” Janus said surprised.

Virgil gestured to Janus, “See? I’m me? Can we move on so I can get back to work?”

Janus laughed. “You were totally working!”

Oh..right. Janus could tell when someone was lying.

Virgil shifted, “I think you can leave now.”

“You called him.” Logan said.

“Yeah so everyone would know it was really me! Which I am! So...shoo!”

“You are acting really weird.” Logan stated.

“Come on Virge just tell us what's wrong.” Thomas said.

“Nothing!” Virgil said.

“Lying.” Janus said looking at his gloved fingers as if inspecting his nails.

Virgil hissed at him.

“If there’s something wrong then we can help!” Patton said.

“Just… come on. What’s wrong?” Thomas said.

“Nothing.” Virgil grit out.

“If it’s nothing then there should be no problem telling us!” Roman said.

“Ok You really don’t want to know.” Virgil said.

“Yes. We do.” Logan said.

“Well I don’t want you to know.” Virgil said. “How’s that?”

“Just tell me.” Thomas said.

“I...can’t.” Virgil said sharply.

“You must really like me being around so much if you are lying so much.” Janus said.

Virgil took a breath. Everyone was staring at him. He couldn’t lie. What was he supposed to do?

“Look if I tell you..You’re never going to look at me the same way again.” Virgil said. “It’s better if you all just..drop it.”

“Do you have spider legs?” Patton asked.

“What? No!”

“Are you secretly a cat? That would be so cute!”

“NO!” Virgil said, “I’m not..it’s not cute.”

“So it is cute.” Roman said.

“I just said it wasn’t!” Virgil said.

“You have been lying.” Janus said.

“WOULD YOU LEAVE?” Virgil yelled at him.

“What is it?”

“I-”

“Is it dangerous?”

“No… well I mean-”

“Are you doing something stupid?”

“No! It’s a coping thing!” He slapped his hand over his mouth.

Logan snapped his fingers, “Coping, biting thumb, childish behaviour. It’s age regression.��

“N-no!” Virgil said panic was rising further. Janus just looked at him.

They all knew. They all knew!

Roman laughed. “You...like being a kid again?”

That did it. Virgil teared up as he sunk out.

---

He refused to leave his room for three days. He was sure he would face more ridicule if he did. He cried on and off. One time he could have sworn he heard someone outside his door but he was crying too hard to really tell.

Everything was ruined now! Everything...they all knew and they were never going to respect him again. He was going to be a walking joke or treated like a kid all the time at best. At worst….He didn’t want to think about that.

“Please come out?” Patton asked through the door.

“Go away.”

“Roman is sorry he laughed.” Patton said.

“I don’t care!”

“Virgil...we need to talk about this.” Patton said.

Virgil opened the door. “Fine. But if anyone laughs again I swear-”

“No one will.” Patton promised.

Virgil followed Patton to the common room where Roman and Logan were waiting. He noticed Roman winced a little when he saw him. Maybe he wouldn’t laugh again.

“I truly am sorry I laughed.” Roman said.

“It doesn’t matter. Let’s just get this over with.” Virgil grumbled as he sat down away from all of them.

“We were wondering...If you needed someone to watch you when you were little.” Logan said.

Virgil blinked, “What?”

“A caregiver...or caregivers.” Logan clarified. “We don’t know if you regress young enough that you would need them but-”

“Hold on. Are you volunteering?” Virgil said.

“Well yes. If we can help you with your method of coping in any way then we will.”

“We’re here for you Kid- Virgil.” Patton said.

“Indeed.” Roman agreed.

Virgil hadn’t expected that question or for it to make him feel so...small. “I...I don’t know. I never really...I didn’t think you would be so...ok with it.”

“It took a bit of research to get use to the idea.” Roman admitted.

“But you don’t have to hide it anymore.” Patton said. “We support you fully!”

“I...thank you.” Virgil said. “But I don’t think I really want any of you to see me...Regressed..at least not yet.”

“That is understandable.” Logan said. “When or if you change your mind we are here.”

Virgil nodded.

---

It was about three months before Virgil felt ready to just wear a onesie around.

“So are you regressed right now?” Roman asked as he watched Virgil pour cereal.

“No...well yes. I’m in teen space.” Virgil said.

“About how old?” Logan asked.

Virgil shrugged, “Fifteen? Old enough that I can still take care of myself if that’s what you're asking.”

“How young do you get?” Patton asked as Virgil sat down with his cereal.

“Normally it’s around five, but I’ve been younger before.” Virgil said. “It’s rare. I don’t normally let myself…At least before I didn’t.”

They all nodded. Before returning to their own food.

There was a bit of silence before Roman spoke up, “It must have been stressful. Your only way of coping being hidden all the time.”

“A bit. Yeah.” Virgil said.

“Would you ever be willing to be further regressed around us?” Roman asked. Virgil looked up to find Patton and Roman staring at him excited.

“Ummm...maybe?” The thought was terrifying.

“You don’t have to.” Logan said shooting the other two a look that said back off.

“Of course only if you want to.” Patton said.

Virgil poked at his cereal. “I...guess It’s worth a try.”

“Great!” Roman beamed.

Virgil swallowed before forcing a pained smile.

---

He could do this. Just walked out there and let himself drop. He had been on the edge for the past two hours. Just go out there and….and.

He was pacing to the door and back, over and over as he tried to work up the courage to go out there and just….

“Ugh! I can’t do this!” He collapsed onto this bed.

He pulled the red panda to his chest. “Why is this so hard Kiki?”

Kiki being a stuffed animal, said nothing. Still Virgil groaned “You’re right. I promised I wouldn try.

He got up still holding the stuffed animal for comfort and opened the door. He inched his way to the stairs. He managed to get to the back before he saw anyone. This was fine. He was just regressing downstairs. Maybe no one would even show up?

“Greetings Virgil!” He jumped.

“Oh...hi.” He said hiding a little behind the panda.

“Oh..That’s a cute panda! What’s their name?” Roman asked.

“...Kiki.” Virgil said dropping.

“Nice to meet you Kiki. I’m sure you are taking great care of Virgil for us!” Roman said shaking the paw of the panda.

Virgil giggled. “Yeah.” He hugged the Kiki tighter.

Roman smiled. “So. What do you normally do about now little one?”

Virgil bit his lip and looked down. He shrugged. “Hide.”

“Oh…” roman said. “Well no need to do that! How about a game?”

“Mkay.” Virgil agreed. “What we play?” Virgil asked.

“Oh. You baby talk.” Roman said without thinking.

Virgil’s eyes widened and he backed away from Roman. “Sorry.”

“No No. It’s fine! I was just… surprised.” Roman said trying to comfort him.

“It stupid. Like me.” Virgil said.

“Don’t say that. Patton will have to fight you.” roman said joking.

Virgil began to panic more not getting the joke. “What? No. I don’t wanna fight!”

“Kidding!” Roman said. Geez this was harder than he thought it would be.

Virgil sat down on the couch cuddling Kiki. “Oh...Where is Paton?”

“Oh. Patton?” Roman called.

Patton heard his name and popped his head in from the kitchen. “Oh! Are you being little now?”

Virgil nodded, “Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry.” Patton reassured him. He and Roman inched closer.

“Can I watch a movie?” Virgil asked.

“Sure. Nightmare before christmas?” Roman asked.

Virgil agreed though he didn’t seem all that excited about it. Logan came down mid way through the movie and didn’t need to ask to tell Virgil was little. He was hugged a stuffed red panda and bitting his thumb. Logan summoned a pacifier and gave it to him.

Virgil’s eyes lit up as he looked at it. “For me?”

“Well I’m not going to use it.” Logan said.

“Thanks.” Virgil popping it into his mouth. He smiled around it as he leaned over against Roman who almost started vibrating from excitement.

He looked at Patton and Logan, “Are you seeing this?” He mouthed.

Patton shot him a thumbs up. Logan rolled his eyes fondly.

Slowly Virgil dozed off.

---

He woke up still leaning against Roman. The credits were rolling. “You awake?” Roman asked.

Virgil shot up. What did he have in his mouth. He spit it out. “Oh geez. I’m so sorry!”

“Oh. You aren’t regressing anymore.” Roman said, slightly disappointed.

Virgil paused, “Well yeah. It doesn’t last that long for me.”

“Oh. Well...ok.” Roman said standing.

“Why? Did something happen?” Virgil didn’t remember anything bad happening.

“No. Just..wanted to hang out with little you more.” Roman said.

Virgil shifted. Why did that make him feel so weird? “Well It’s not like I’m going to not be around anymore. Since today went so well.” Roman looked so happy at that.

So why did it make Virgil feel bad? Was he missing something?

---

A pattern was quickly becoming clear. Roman preferred being around and taking care of regressed Virgil over normal Virgil.

That was...fine. Virgil didn’t really like hanging out with Roman normally anyway. But then Patton started to like regressed Virgil more too...Then Logan.

“I just don’t want them to like me only when I’m regressed. You know?”

Kiki stared at him from the bed.

“I should just stop regressing.”

Blank beady eyes.

“You’re right. I need this! Maybe just go back to regressing alone.”

Those cold dead eyes.

“Ugh! Fine! IF they like me better regressed maybe they’ll have to deal with me only when I’m regressed!”

Plan in place Virgil set about getting everything ready.

As soon as he regressed he would wander out of his room looking for one of the others, as soon as he wasn’t regressed anymore he disappeared. It got to the point that the only time they saw Un-regressed Virgil was when they were all with Thomas.

“I’m getting concerned.” Patton said as Virgil played on the floor nearby. “It’s like he’s always regressed.”

“I think he just doesn’t like us when he’s not regressed.” Roman said.

“Perhaps we did something?” Logan suggested. “Made him feel like we didn’t want him around.”

“What though?” Roman asked. “We’ve been as supportive as we can be!”

“I mean I like Regressed Virgil but I miss our Virgil.” Patton said looking over at Virgil’s back.

Virgil had stopped playing as he listened. He felt awful.

They all heard a sob and rushed over. “What happened?”

“Did you get hurt?”

“What’s wrong?”

Virgil looked up at them. “I sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“To what?” Patton asked.

“I think you like me little better.” Virgil explained.

Logan frowned, “So you haven’t been showing up normal because you think we like you little more?”

Virgil nodded, “Sorry.”

“Oh sweetie.” Patton hugged him. “No. We like you anyway you are. We promise.”

“Mkay.” Virgil said.

Roman carefully whipped the snot and tears from Virgil’s face. “Now Let’s get you some food ok?”

Virgil agreed.

The balance between being little and big took time but he managed.

---

“Family meeting.” Virgil said walking in to the common rooms where the other three were. They all looked up at him. He took a deep breath. “Ok. So..it’s been almost six months since I started regressing around you..and you guys are kinda of already doing it but…”

“But?” Roman prompted.

“Will you three be my caregivers?” Virgil blurted out.

“Of course!” Patton said.

“It would be my honour.” Roman said.

“Yes.” Logan said.

Virgil smiled. “I love you guys.”

“Awww. We love you too!” Patton said getting up and hugging him.

Maybe being looked at a little differently wasn’t that bad.

---

Janus watched from the shadows as Patton and others hugged Virgil. Ever since Virgil had been found out to age regression Janus had been looking into it more.

And he didn’t like what he found.

How many symptoms of regression matched up to his own ‘illness’ that he had been fighting with. He knew Virgil had the same thing as him and was hoping that if he pushed Virgil to tell the others Logan would figure out what it was and he could learn how to cure it.

He didn’t like the answers he got from Logan about age regression. That involuntary regression wasn’t that easy to push off or avoid. That it was something that could be outgrown or it stuck with the person for the entirety of their life.

He guessed Virgil figured it out before Remus or he did. But he never imagined it to be so...embarrassing. Something deadly and dreadful? Yes. Something that made them...like kids?

Janus hated it. He hated how confused and helpless he was when it happened. How...vulnerable he was. He still wasn’t on the best terms with them and after pushing Virgil so much they liked him even less.

He disappeared into the dark and back to his room. He threw his hat into the corner and collapsed onto the bed. He ran a hand through his hair before tugging on it in frustration. He had been waiting for next to a year for Virgil to ask Logan to help him figure out how to stop regressing. For Logan to tell him something he wouldn’t tell Janus. For him to stop doing this!

No instead Virgil wanted them to be his ‘caregivers’ to take care of him when he was just a stupid kid! Where was the Virgil who hated feeling dumb? Who agreed that it was something that they shouldn’t have to deal with? Where was the Virgil that wanted it gone??

Coping.

Maybe for Virgil. Maybe even for Remus. But for Janus it was a nuance. A waste of time. A vulnerability he didn’t want nor need. He hated it.

He could feel it creeping in on him. The edge of his thoughts getting dimmer, slower. His frustration about it turned to fear and shame. He curled up on his side, tears filling his eyes and slid down onto the blankets under his face. He hated this. He sobbed.

He was alone and small and tired and…

Scared.

He was so so scared. He shook at the sound of someone walking outside his door. Freezing and covering his mouth to muffling his quickening breath.

There was a knock. “Dee?” Remus called.

Janus didn’t answer.

He wanted Remus to come in.

He wanted him to go away.

He wanted a hug.

He wanted to be alone.

He sobbed at the confusing thoughts. Why did he want to be alone? Alone was all scary and big and awful.

“Help.” He whimpered. The door opened and Remus looked him over before sighing.

“It’s happening again?”

Janus nodded and held out his arms. Remus come over and crawled into the middle of the bed so he could pull Janus into his lap to hold him. “Shhh. It’s ok. It’ll be over soon.”

“I scare.” Janus whispered.

Remus pressed a kiss to the top of Janus’ head. “It’s ok. I’m here. I’m going to stay here till you’re better again ok?”

Janus sobbed and nodded.

He hated this.

---

Remus watched as Janus slowly let himself slip into an unrestful sleep. He tightened his hold on his friend. He wanted to do more but there wasn’t much he could do. He could barely hold himself together when it happened to him, how was he supposed to help someone else?

A coping method.

Remus didn’t cope, he was the problem. Why would he need to cope?

Admittedly it was nice. He loved the simplicity of it. It was easy when it happened. He had a thought and he acted on it! No ands if’s or buts.

Heh butts.

He shook his head. Before looking at Janus fondly. He didn’t think it was as bad as Janus thought. It could even be fun. Terrified of everything and distorted thinking? That was right up his alley.

But it wasn’t for Janus. Janus needed to be able to think clearly. It was important to him. So it was important to Remus too. Remus didn’t know how to stop regressing, but he knew someone that might know.

So he tucked Janus in gave him a body pillow for him to cuddle with and left to go ask Logan some questions.

---

Logan jumped when he opened his bedroom door to see Remus sitting on his bed staring at him.

“Ah...Remus...What are you doing in my room?” Logan asked.

“I need your help.” Remus said.

Logan was sure he didn’t hear that correctly. “You….you need my help?”

Remus clapped his hands, “I need to fix Janus.”

“Why? What’s wrong with him? Did something happen?” Remus made a mental note of the concern in Logan’s voice. He wasn’t too surprised that Logan cared. You had to love that snake! He was the best! Who else was so down for murder at the drop of a hat?

“He….well we age regress and we wanted to know how to stop it.” Remus said cutting to the chase.

Logan took in this information. “Both of you...I see… Well I’m not sure you can stop if it is involuntary.”

“Can’t you like, whip up some kind of science pill that stops it?” Remus asked.

“That’s not how...ok. Look if you are both regressing due to a need to cope with stress then it might be possible for you to replace it with a separate coping method.” Logan said.

A dozen thoughts flooded Remus’ head. All of them more bloody than the last. Well he could try those but Janus wouldn’t want to give any of them a shot. He knew Janus too well to even suggest them to him.

“Thanks for the help!” Remus said. He paused at the door, “Could you...not mention this to anyone?”

“I will not tell anyone about your regression unless you tell me you want someone to know.” Logan promised.

Remus beamed. “Thanks! You’re the man.”

“Is that meant to be a compliment?” Logan frowned.

“That’s for me to know and for you to figure out. Byyyyye!”

---

Janus woke up with Remus gone. He frowned and got up to go looking for him. He carried the pillow with him and ran into Patton.

“Oh yeah! Is it nap time?” Patton asked looking at the pillow.

“Where’s Remus?” Janus asked trying to sound big and falling. Lucky Patton didn’t seem to care.

“I just saw him walk by! I’m sure he’ll be back soon. Can I offer you a cookie while you wait?” Patton asked.

Janus smiled and nodded eagerly. Patton laughed to himself as he led Janus into the kitchen for the snack. He was going to have to give Janus more sweets if this is how he responded to them!

Janus sat down at the table and kicked his feet as he waited. Patton thought he looked a bit like Virgil but couldn’t quite place why. Janus grabbed the cookie and took a large bite out of it. “Thanks.” He muttered around the mouthful.

Patton beamed, “Of course kiddo.” He ruffled Janus’ hair. Oh! He wasn’t wearing his hat! Maybe that was it!

Patton left Janus alone to finish his cookie. Janus watched him go slightly sad that he was leaving. He really didn’t want to be alone anymore but...maybe Remus would show up soon.

It was pretty quick for Remus to find him.

“Oh! What are you doing out of bed?” Remus asked.

“Got lonely.” Janus shrugged, standing and grabbing Remus’ hand. “Paton gave me a cookie dou.”

“Did he?” Remus asked.

Janus smiled, “Ahhuh! It was cha-co-lat!” Janus said, focusing to pronounce the word. Remus laughed.

“That’s great!” Remus said.

Janus was bouncy when they got back to his room. “I don’t wanna sleep more.”

“But if you do you’ll get better faster.” Remus reminded.

Janus sighed. “Oooook.” He crawled back into bed.

Remus smiled at him and kissed Janus’ forehead. “Sleep well.”

“Mmm.” Janus hummed closing his eyes.

Remus watched him a stab of unease went through him. Did he really want to get rid of this? Janus looked so relaxed and...happy. When was the last time he had been like this outside Little space?

---

Janus took the news that there might be a solution well. He was eager to get started, “Finally we can stop with the annoying brain rot.”

“I like brain rot!” Remus protested.

“I mean the regression.” Janus said.

“...yeah. Let’s do this!” Remus said a beat too late. Janus ignored it and moved on.

“A different coping method.” He pondered.

Remus was silently thinking. Did he really want to stop regressing? Janus did...which meant he should too..right?

They didn’t expect Virgil to show up. Yet there he was watching them.

“Virgil.” Janus said, finally noticing him. Remus stood up.

Virgil took a breath. “I noticed that you were...a bit bouncier earlier. And I realized something.” He looked Janus dead in the eyes. “You’ve been regressing too.”

“Of course not.” Janus lied. “This is something else.”

“Come on Dee.” Remus whispered.

Janus looked at Remus surprised before rolling his eyes, “Fine. We regress too.”

Virgil nodded to himself. “Alright well...I don’t know about the others but..I’m here if you ever want to...regress around someone.”

Remus lit up at the suggestion. Janus spoke first. “Thank you for the wonderful offer but unlike you we won’t be doing this for much longer.”

Virgil frowned, “What do you mean? You can’t just..stop!”

“Why not?”

“You don’t think I didn’t try to? It never works.” Virgil said, shaking his head.

Janus stiffened. That’s...that can’t be true! There has to be a way to stop. There has to be! “Just because you failed-”

“But I’m willing to help you try.” Virgil said.

Janus narrowed his eyes, “Why are you being so….nice?”

Virgil looked uncomfortable. “Maybe I want us to not be at odds all the time.”

“So you’ll help us?” Remus asked.

“As long as he give regression an honest shot first.” Virgil said.

“You’re kidding right?” Janus laughed.

Virgil crossed his arms. “No. I mean it. It’s really helped me and I think it can help both of you.”

“Fine.” Janus spit out. “But when we don’t like it You’ll help us get rid of it!”

Virgil held out a hand. Janus shook it. Remus just watched. Wondering why Virgil was so smug looking. There was no way he was going to convince Janus to actually like regressing...no. No way.

---

Janus and Remus sat on the couch in the common room Virgil and Logan both there to help them regress. “So you want me to do this on purpose?” Remus asked.

“Well we could wait for it to happen naturally.” Logan said.

Janus huffed, “Let’s just do whatever gets this over with!”

The next two hours were a disaster.

Remus had managed to catch multiple things on fire before Logan managed to wrestle the matches from him. Janus was stubborn and refused to properly regress instead got half into the headspace and just pouted.

It wasn’t until Patton wondered that he brightened up.

“What’s going on?” Patton asked no clue that they were regressed.

Logan and Virgil looked at each other. “Just...a...test of sorts.”

“Oh. Are you two winning?” Patton asked Remus and Janus.

“Yeah!” Remus said. “I’m winning!”

Janus shrugged. Then he spoke which he had been refusing to do. “Of course I am!”

Patton nodded, “Well I’ll leave you too it-”

Virgil caught him. “Actually could you stay and watch them for a couple minutes? I need to talk to Logan in the other room.”

“Why would I need to watch them?” Patton asked.

“Because...umm…” Virgil started.

“Remus has been setting things on fire.” Logan said flatly.

“Oh! I can make sure that doesn’t happen anymore.” Patton promised.

Virgil smiled. “Thanks!”

Virgil dragged Logan around the corner and waited for Patton to go about looking after Janus and Remus before Peeking around the corner.

“What are we doing?” Logan asked.

“We’re testing something. Janus and Remus both lit up and focused on Patton when he came in the room. They may feel safer around him and will lower their guards.” Virgil whispered.

“That is...a brilliant idea.” Logan said.

“Thanks.”

Janus was too busy watching Patton to notice Logan and Virgil peeking out around the corner. Remus saw them but just didn’t care.

“So are we going to be starting any more fire?” Patton asked.

“No?” Remus answered.

Patton smiled at him. “Exactly!”

Why did Janus want Patton to smile at him like that. “Hey..um..” He said.

“What do you need kiddo?” Patton asked.

Janus was quickly falling deeper into little space. “Hug?” he whispered.

Patton beamed. “I never thought you would ask!” He hugged Janus.

“Hey! ME too!” Remus said tackling them.

Patton and Remus laughed as Janus smiled.

Virgil shook Logan’s shoulder, “Are you seeing this?”

“And he still has no idea they are regressed?” Logan asked slightly concerned about his boyfriend’s intelligence.

“What are we looking at?” Roman asked popping his head around the corner. Virgil jumped and fell down.

“Don’t scare me like that!” He snapped before he noticed that Janus and Remus could see him.

Janus had an unreadable expression on his face as he pulled away from Patton, grabbed Remus and left.

“Ah shit.” Virgil said.

“Langue.” Patton frowned.

---

Janus groaned. He didn’t succeed in getting rid of his regression nooo instead he turned seeing Patton into a trigger! Luckily Patton and Roman had no idea what was going on. Unluckily Virgil and Logan did.

“This is a mess.” Janus said.

“This is art!” Remus snapped as he cooked.

“I wasn’t talking about that but yes that is a mess.” Janus said.

There were eggshells and paper in the soup thing that Remus was making. “You should regress to get your mind off it.”

Janus looked at Remus. “Are you serious? That’s ridiculous!”

“Why not?” Remus asked. “It helps.”

“It only helps idiots and cowards who can’t face their problems!” Janus snapped.

“It helps me.” Remus said cooly.

“Remus...I didn’t mean you.”

“Oh so just Virgil? Who has been nicer than we deserve?” Remus said.

“Where is all of this coming from?” Janus asked bewildered.

Remus just shook his head. “You were supposed to give it a fair chance.”m he took his soup dish thing and left. Janus stared at the spot he had been standing in.

Remus was...disappointed? In him???

Janus groaned.

---

“I’m surprised you came to me for help.” Patton said.

So was Janus. But if he was going to give this a fair shot then he needed to do it correctly. The only snag in that plan was that he still didn’t want Patton to know. Hell he didn’t want Virgil or Logan to know! But what was done is done.

“I don’t suppose we could do something while we talked?” Janus asked. Hoping that would give him something else to focus on to keep him steady.

“Sure! You want to help me and Roman cook dinner?” Patton asked.

“Roman?”

“Oh..would that be a problem?” Patton asked concerned.

Janus wanted to say yes it was! But..it was just an extra reason to not slip up. Besides it wasn’t like this was the first time he had been little around them without either of them noticing.

“Not at all. Just not sure he would want me around.” Janus said.

“Let’s ask him.” Patton said.

Turns out Roman was thrilled that Janus was making an effort to get along and was more than happy with him joining them.

Yay.

It was going well. Janus half in half out of his head space when he turned and collided with Roman and dropped the glass he was holding. It shattered and he accidently cut his foot. He dropped both to the floor and into his head space. He started crying.

“Whoa. It’s ok! It’s just a glass little-” Roman caught himself. Had he almost called janus little stormcloud? That was for Virgil when he was….little.

Roman picked up Janus and set him on the dinner table so he could see his foot and left Patton to Clean up the broken glass. “It’s ok now. I’ve got you.”

“Owie.” Janus whimpered.

Ok. yeah he was little. Roman looked over the wound and smiled up at Janus, “It’s just a small cut. Nothing a big boy like you can’t handle!” He said in the same soft tone he used when Virgil was scared or hurt.

“O-ok.” Janus said hugging himself as he watched Roman clean the wound with a rag before putting on a bandage.

“You did such a good job staying still! Do you want a sticker or sucker for being a great patient?” Roman asked, holding out a snake sticker and a red sucker.

“Stick please?” Janus asked.

“Of course!” Roman said. “Would you like it on your shirt?” Roman asked peeling it off.

Janus tapped his human cheek. Roman smiled as he stuck it on. Janus giggled. “Tanks.”

“Awww. Is Janus a little too?” Patton said stepping over now that the glass was cleaned up.

Janus ducked his head. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Patton said.

“I lied. I didn’t say it to you.” Janus said. “So...sorry.”

“It’s ok Sir scaly.” Roman said, picking Janus up and holding him. “You weren’t ready to tell us.”

“I didn’t wanna let anyone know.” Janus said. “I don’t like it.” He frowned.

“Oh? Why is that?” Roman asked.

Janus hid his face in Roman’s shoulder, “Scare an con-few-en.”

“It’s ok if you get confused.” Patton said. “You just have to ask someone else to explain it to you.”

“And you don’t have to be scared. We’ll protect you.” Roman promised.

“Weally? But I’mma bad guy.” Janus muttered.

“You aren’t a bad guy. I promise.” Roman said, tightening his grip on Janus. Janus hummed before yawning.

Patton laughed, “Is someone tired?”

“Mmm.”

“Why don’t you take a nap on the couch and We’ll wake you up when dinner is ready. Ok?” Patton asked.

“Ro go too?” Janus asked.

Roman could not say no to that.

Which is why Virgil came down and found Roman holding a sleeping Janus on the couch. “What’s going on with them?” Virgil asked Patton as he walked into the kitchen.

“Oh! You’ll never guess!” Patton beamed.

“Oh?” Virgil asked.

“Yeah! You aren’t the only little!” Patton said. “Oops. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”

“It’s fine. I knew.” Virgil said.

“You did? Why didn’t you tell me?” Patton asked. “No wait I get it. If he asked you to keep it a secret then it’s ok.”

“Glad you agree.” Virgil peeked back in on Roman and Janus. Roman shot him a thumbs up. Janus curled up half on him.

Virgil pushed down the jealousy he felt. It was stupid to be upset when he wanted Janus and Remus to get help.

“Are you ok? You’re frowning pretty hard there.” Patton said. “Don’t want it to get stuck that way.”

“I...Is it bad that I’m angry at Janus?” Virgil asked.

Patton paused, “Why are you mad?”

“I...don’t want him sleeping on Roman.” Virgil said.

“Sounds like someone is going to have to learn how to share caregivers.” Patton said softly.

Virgil huffed dropping. “But daaaad. I don't’ wanna!”

Patton hid a laugh. “Sorry Kiddo. I’m afraid you’ll have to get use to it.”

“Ugh!” Virgil groaned and threw himself down into a chair.

“Think of it this way. You have a little brother now.” Patton said. “Someone else you can play with when you're little.”

Virgil thought about that. “Yeah...yeah!”

“So will you be a good big brother?” Patton said.

“I’mma gonna be the best big brother!” Virgil said. “To Remus too!”

Patton stopped, “Remus is little too?”

“Oops.”

---

Remus was sitting on his bed eating his soup. His anger had cooled off and was replaced by wishing he hadn’t stormed out. He should go talk things through with Janus. He didn’t want to stay mad at his best friend.

“Remus?” Logan’s voice called through his door. Remus waved his hand and the door opened.

“What are you doing here?”

“Would you like to join us for dinner?” Logan said.

Remus raised his pot of soup. “Got food. Thanks though.”

“Ah..well it’s more of a...family meeting with food than dinner.” Logan said.

“And Moi is invited?” Remus said before throwing the pot so it hit the wall and jumping up. “Well I’m not going to miss this!”

“I should inform you that Janus regressed in front of Roman and Patton both of whom have figured out he and you regress.” Logan said as they started on their way to the kitchen.

“Oh thank fuck! I did not want to keep that hidden anymore.” Remus said relieved.

“Not..the reaction I expected.” Logan chuckled.

Remus shrugged and sped up. “Come on! Speed it up! I want to see Virgil’s face when he hears about this.”

Logan grabbed Remus’s arm stopping him. “I should warn you that Both Virgil and Janus are regressed and that you should be more..kid friendly.”

“Fine.” Remus rolled his eyes.

---

When Remus and Logan walked in the room Virgil shrunk into Patton’s side. Patton whispered something to him before Virgil nodded and sat up again. Janus was sitting next to Roman. Remus ended up sitting between Logan and Patton.

“So what’s up?” Remus asked.

“Virgil did you have something you wanted to say?” Patton asked.

Virgil shook his head and poked Patton’s arm, “You say it.”

“Ok. Virgil wants to try a playdate with you two.” Patton said looking between Remus and Janus.

Janus tilted his head to the side. He frowned and looked to Roman. “I got a con-few-en.”

“Confusion? About what?” Roman asked.

“Virgil not like me...but playdate?”

“I like you!” Virgil said. “I’m going to be careful and everything.”

Remus held up his hands, “I think we should have this conversion when Janus isn’t...I mean it isn’t fair to have him agree to something when he’s like this.”

“Why not?” Logan asked.

“Well cause we don’t remember as much?” Remus said. Logan, Roman and Patton looked at each other. “Isn’t that the same with Virgil.”

Virgil shook his head, “I remembers.”

“Huh.” Remus said.

“Remus about how young do you both regress to?” Logan asked.

“Around...4 for me? Or younger? I know that Janus is younger.” Remus said.

“Very helpful.” Roman said flatly.

“I don’t know how age works for children!” Remus shot back.

“Well we can test some things out to see. In the meantime we’ll put off the playdate.”

“Awww.” Virgil looked down and kicked his feet.

Remus felt bad about ruining Virgil’s fun. “I’m up for it.” Remus said. “Even if Janus isn’t.”

Virgil smiled at him. That felt better.

Janus was watching slowly the younger look in his eyes faded till Remus could tell it was just Janus sitting there. He sat up more, looked sideways at Roman and stayed quiet as Remus watched him try to figure out what the hell happened and what was happening now.

“So mind explaining how Janus regressed earlier?” Remus asked for Janus’ benefit.

Patton told the story excitedly. “He was so cute!”

Janus looked down at his lap, his cheek red under the snake sticker. “I’d like a playdate.” He said.

“You’re bigger now?” Roman asked.

Janus couldn’t meet Roman’s eye. “Yes.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to.” Patton said.

Janus took a deep breath. “I thought that Age regression was just...dumb. That I was dumb for doing it. I can see that I was wrong now. And...I want to give it an honest shot.” He said looking right at Virgil.

Virgil smiled at him. He gave him a thumbs up and everyone else laughed.

---

Janus sat in Roman’s lap on the floor, playing with a rattle, a paci in his mouth as he wore a fluffy onesie. “Having fun?” Roman asked. Janus giggled and bounced a little. It was clear that he was barely able to talk at all. 0-2 years old.

Remus liked to crawl so that he ‘fell over less’. He was wearing a pair of green and black pajamas. He got a paci but after chewing off the rubber tip Logan got him a chewy necklace and a teething star wand. He sat leaning on Roman and holding one of Janus’ hands.

Virgil sat down showing Janus and Remus his favorite toys. “This is kiki the red panda! They are really really soft.” He held kiki out so Janus and Remus could pet the panda stuffie softly.

“Sot!” Janus babbled around his paci. “Soft!” Remus said, managing to say the word.

Virgil looked up at Patton and Logan. “I do good?”

“You’ve done excellent.” Logan said.

Virgil smiled. He turned back to Janus and Remus and kept showing them toys.

---

Janus knocked on Virgil’s door. Virgil opened it and blinked in surprise. “Oh. Hi. What do you need?”

Janus took a breath. “Thank you...for convincing me to give it a shot.”

“Oh well..you’re welcome.” Virgil said.

Janus turned to leave before turning back to Virgil. Virgil watched him debate something in his head. “Just spit it out.”

“It’s dumb.” Janus said.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “I’ll forget about it if it is ok?”

“Can I...give you a hug?” Virgil was surprised.

“Sure.” Virgil said with a slight smile. Janus still hesitated and it was fast one armed hug but..it was still a hug. “Feel better little brother?” Virgil asked.

“That’s only when we’re little and you know that!” Janus hissed at him.

“Oh come on! Can’t your big brother be proud of the progress you’ve made?” Virgil said.

“I take back everything. I hate you.” Janus said, turning to leave.

“Already a moody teenager. They grow up so fast.” Virgil said.

“Stop! I will tell Patton about this!” Janus warned. It was a hollow threat and they both knew it.

Virgil laughed. “Oh no! Don’t bring Patton into this.” Janus sighed heavily but a smile pulled at his lips as he listened to Virgil laugh.

“Hey...Virgil.” Janus said.

“Yeah?” Virgil said smile falling.

“I’m proud of you too.” Janus said before turning and walking away listening to Virgil sputter behind him.

Remus watched the whole thing from the end of the hall. He gave Janus a high five. “I knew you had it in you Dee.”

Janus rolled his eyes, “Let’s just go. I don’t feel like getting a heart to heart with Patton right now.”

“What about a heart for heart. I rip both your hearts out and switch them.” Remus began rambling.

Janus smiled fondly at his best friend.

Yeah. Maybe Regression isn’t as bad as he thought it was. Maybe it was nice to have that sense of family and safety. Relaxation and comfort. Maybe it wasn’t dumb.

Alright it wasn’t dumb. It was coping.

Janus could get used to it if it was always like this.

[karasuno-chaos]

Jigsaw Puzzles (Nekoma Third Years & Reader)

I wasn’t kidding when I said I want in on the Nekoma third years’ gossip sessions.  Also, Lev, I’m sorry I make fun of you so much in this.  I swear I really do love you. -Giz

Word Count:  1,438

Fluffvember masterlist

“Coasters, people!” you command as you carefully enter Kai’s family room with two mugs of tea.  Yaku stops pestering Kuroo long enough to distribute coasters around the coffee table.  You pass him one of the mugs as Kai hands one off to Kuroo, and the four of you settle in for an afternoon of each other’s company.

“What are the options today?” Kai asks.

“I brought three,” Kuroo says, placing jigsaw puzzle boxes on the table.  “First, there’s the periodic table, a classic.”

“No,” Yaku groans.

“You nerd,” you accuse, promptly pulling that option off of the table.

“This is why none of you will ever be considered geniuses,” Kuroo grumbles.

“Well neither will you, so we’re obviously not missing out on anything.”

“Whatever.  Then what about this Utagawa cat print?”

“Very traditional,” Kai observes.

“Not very fun, though,” Yaku muses.  “Don’t you have anything more contemporary?”

“The world is full of critics,” Kuroo sighs.  “The only other one I brought is this photo of a Tokyo street in the rain.”

“It’s interesting,” you hum.

“Definitely the most colorful,” Kai agrees.  “All in favor?”

After resounding agreement, the puzzle pieces are scattered across the table and you get to work picking out the border.  This will be your twenty-third puzzle together.  The pastime started when you were all first years.  You’d met Kuroo and Yaku through your cousin Kai, and after becoming friends, started hanging out regularly to swap stories and gossip.  At one point you’d suggested building a puzzle, and it was just mindless enough to perfectly facilitate conversation while keeping everyone entertained.  You still sometimes do other activities together like watch a movie or bake cookies, but puzzles have somehow become your thing.  You hope you’ll be able to complete twenty-five of them together before you graduate.

“So what’s the tea?” Yaku asks as he slides a corner piece into place.

“Jasmine,” you reply with a smirk and a sip from your mug.  The others roll their eyes.

“I meant the gossip.  Who’s got something to start us off?”

“Daishou and Mika are back together apparently,” Kuroo shares.

“Really?  What does she see in that snake?” you grumble.  “He always seems so smug for no reason.”

“It’s definitely not his volleyball skills,” Yaku smirks.  “Didn’t she dump him because he was practicing so much?”

“Something like that,” Kuroo confirms.

“But Nohebi lost in the qualifiers, so now that he’s done with the team, that shouldn’t be a problem anymore,” you observe, completing one side of the border.

“But is he done with volleyball?  This could become a recurring problem in their relationship,” Kai says.

“What does it matter?  We probably won’t see either of them again.”  Kuroo connects a line of pieces to the ones you’ve been arranging, completing the border.  When there are four of you working on a puzzle, it goes pretty fast.

“I don’t know.  Daishou strikes me as one of those annoying people you can’t seem to get rid of,” Yaku sighs.

“Like Lev?” you tease.

“Exactly.”

“You’ll miss him once you graduate,” Kai promises.  The libero grimaces.

“I highly doubt that.”

“You know, just yesterday Lev told me he’d grown another half centimeter,” Kuroo shares.

“Like hell!  I’ll believe it when he gets measured officially.  I don’t trust him to be honest when he measures himself at home.”

“He seems pretty honest to me,” you say.  “Maybe too honest.”

“Sounds like you, Yakkun,” Kuroo teases.

“Don’t you dare compare us,” the libero growls, flicking a puzzle piece at the captain.

“Hey!  No losing pieces,” you scold.

“Yes, yes, we’ll behave,” Kuroo promises, though you know he’s only saying it to pacify you.  There have been several instances of puzzle pieces flying around the room, and at least two pieces were never recovered.  You’ll never let them forget it.

“Anyways,” Yaku continues, piecing together one of the umbrellas in the image, “Lev’s more deceptive than he looks, Y/N.  You’d know that if you’d become our manager like we told you to.”

“I already hear plenty about the club from you three.  I don’t need to sit through practice every day.”

“And you’re lazy and didn’t want to have to do the work,” Kai teases.  You smack him lightly with the back of your hand.

“Speaking of volleyball,” Kuroo says, as though it’s not the subject of conversation seventy-five percent of the time, “supposedly the school paper’s going to run a story on the club before Nationals next month.”

“Really?” you ask.  “Is it going to be on the front page or just a little paragraph hidden in the middle?”

“Don’t know yet.  Tora’s sister is going to join us at practice sometime this week to ask questions and then write up the article.”

“Good for her.  I like Akane,” you say while collecting pieces of one of the buildings.  “You guys better be nice to her when she interviews you.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep Lev in line,” Yaku promises.

“What is with you and Lev?” you demand.  “It’s like you’re obsessed with him.”

“I am not!  He just pisses me off.”

“Are you sure you’re not just a tsundere in love?”

“So help me, I will throw all of these pieces around the room if you don’t quit it,” he growls.  You just laugh.

“Alright, alright, I’m done.  It’s just too easy to push your buttons sometimes.”

“That’s pretty dangerous when I know who your crush is.”

“Wait, Y/N has a crush?”  Kuroo abandons the street sign he was working on to look at you intently.

“It’s none of your business,” you mumble, suddenly very interested in the puzzle piece in your hand.

“So Yaku can know who it is but I can’t?  Kai, do you know?”

“This is the first I’ve heard of it.”  Your cousin is lying, but he’s usually so pleasantly honest that Kuroo doesn’t suspect anything.

“Come on, Y/N, spill the beans.  You know I hate being left out.”

“Mm, I don’t think I will.”

“Why not?  Are you embarrassed?  Is it Lev?”

“Ew, no.”  Your grimace is so immediate that the others laugh.

“Okay, then who?” Kuroo persists.

“Figure it out yourself.  Yaku did.”

“You didn’t tell him?”

“No,” Yaku confirms, finding the one piece that was missing in the bottom half of the puzzle.  “I’m just smarter than you are and saw the signs.”

“Oh really.”  Kuroo stares at you intently.

“Hey,” you say, “if you’re not going to help with the puzzle, pass over your pieces.”

“Give me a hint,” he requests while pushing the pieces towards you.

“You look for similar colors and shapes and just try to connect them.”

He rolls his eyes.

“We’ve done over twenty of these.  I know how to put a puzzle together.  Obviously I’m talking about your crush!”

“Why does it matter?” Yaku demands, coming to your rescue.  “It’s not like you’ve shared your crush with us.”

“Who says I have a crush?”

“It’s Kenma,” you answer confidently.

“What? No!”

“You do talk about Kenma all the time,” Kai hums.

“Because he’s my best friend.”

“Friends to lovers really is the best trope,” you declare.

“You’re impossible.”

“Then stop pestering Y/N and work on this puzzle,” Kai says.  “We’re almost done.”

“Fine,” Kuroo sighs, “but I’ll get you to tell me someday.”

“Maybe,” you say in something like a promise.  “But first you have to pull your weight and finish this street sign you were working on.”

The conversation stalls while you focus on the last patches of the puzzle.  Part of you wants to slow down and draw out the experience.  You’ll have so few chances to just hang out like this with the volleyball team preparing for Nationals and graduation shortly thereafter.  But the anticipation of finishing draws you forward, and soon Kai snaps the last piece in place.

“Beautiful,” Kuroo declares, and the four of you exchange high fives.

“Picture time!”  You take out your phone, and your friends pose around the finished puzzle while you memorialize the moment with a photo.  Then you perch next to the coffee table at the ready, and Yaku counts down.

“3...2...1!”

It’s a race to deconstruct your hard work, and in moments the puzzle has been reduced to a pile of pieces again.  It’s almost sad how quickly it comes apart, but there is joy in the undoing and promise in the anticipation of the next puzzle.  You almost always end up slapping hands and trying to elbow each other out of the way.  It’s messy and fun, and when you’re with your best friends, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[just-a-poor-boy-queen]

I'm sorry to hear you've had a bad day. I hope this makes you feel a bit better 💜

Part 20 of Jimercury Kid series

‘I’m going to die.’ Freddie whined dramatically from the sofa, arching his back as Jim walked through the door with a tray of tea and biscuits, carefully setting it on the coffee table in front of the singer. ‘I’m not sure how much more of this pain I can take, darling.’

‘I know, love.’ Jim replied softly, placing another pillow under Freddie’s head. ‘But that’s what happens when you decide to do acrobatics on stage when there are wires lying around.’

‘It was entirely Roger’s fault.’ Freddie huffed. ‘He could have warned me that his drumkit was a danger zone.’

Jim chuckled and kissed his husband’s forehead. ‘The doctor said you’ll be right as rain in a few weeks, so long as you get plenty of rest and keep up the physio.’

The Persian grumbled, ‘I hate rest.’ Then he looked up at Jim with an accusatory glare. ‘And I can’t believe you’re abandoning me to galivant off and cut people’s hair! The audacity.’

Freddie hadn’t been all that pleased when Jim announced that he had accepted a weekend job at the barber shop down the road. The Irishman had befriended the owner, Carl Pritchard, in a bar a few months ago and while he had declined the offer of a full-time job (he still had the garden to think about and Khaleel to look after when Freddie was at the studio,) he was more than happy to lend Carl a hand every Saturday, when the shop was at its busiest.

Khaleel hadn’t been too happy about it either; he was used to Jim being around 24/7 and the sudden change of routine caused him a great amount of stress. Jim was almost late on his first day of the job because his son had cried and refused to let go of his leg. But eventually, the boy begrudgingly accepted it and Jim was able to pacify his separation anxiety with the promise of bringing home a treat when he was finished at work.

‘You’re just saying that because you’re jealous.’ Jim teased, dodging as Freddie attempted to swat his backside. ‘You think I’m going to fall head over heels for Carl’s dashing good looks and run off into the sunset with him.’

Freddie pouted like a child and crossed his arms. ‘So, you do think he’s good looking.’

Jim chuckled and dropped a kiss into his husband’s dark head of hair. ‘I’m old enough to be his dad, sweetheart. Besides, he’s really not my type.’

‘I wasn’t your type either and you still went for me.’

‘Well, how could I possibly resist? Have you seenyour arse?’

He roared with laughter as Freddie attempted to swat him again, but this time the singer grabbed his hand and pulled him down to kiss his lips.

‘Do you love me?’ he whispered once they had parted, brown eyes staring into Jim’s own almost fearfully. They had been together for almost ten years now, and yet he still needed that reassurance.

‘To the moon and back.’ Jim replied, leaning down for a much deeper kiss. He could have stayed like that all day, but a quick glance at his watch told him that he was already pushing it for time.

‘I’ll be back about six.’ He placed one final kiss against Freddie’s forehead before heading to the hallway to grab his coat. ‘I’ve left the shop’s number by the phone in case there’s an emergency. Try not to have too much fun without me.’

‘Very funny.’ Freddie sniggered as Jim blew him a kiss and turned the keys in the door. ‘Have a good day, darling. Don’t snip any ears off.’

The last thing he heard was Jim shouting goodbye to Khaleel up the stairs – which was quickly followed with a cheerful, ‘bye Daddy!’ – before the door was pulled shut. Freddie sighed and stretched his sore back, wishing he could at least hobble over to the piano and belt out a few show tunes to take his mind off the pain. He hated being alone; Phoebe was in town with friends and Khaleel had been colouring upstairs for most of the afternoon. He knew that colouring was one of the ways his bijou coped with Jim’s absence, so he didn’t want to disturb him.

Well, since he was bedbound (or in this case, sofa bound) he might as well catch forty winks. After finishing his tea and munching on a biscuit, he plumped up his pillows, propped his feet up on the armrest and did his best to ignore the constant throbbing in his lower back as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

--

Freddie was awoken by the sound of the phone ringing in the hallway, and he groggily rose from the sofa to go and answer it.

‘It’s Bernie, Bernie Morris.’ Said the voice on the other end of the line. ‘I know you usually have your physio on Sundays, but my 2 o’clock just cancelled and I don’t have any other appointments today. Would you like to take the slot?’

‘Oh darling, that would be wonderful.’ Freddie sighed in relief, rubbing his back as he spoke. ‘It’s really acting up today. I could use your magic hands.’

Bernie chucked jovially. ‘Alright then, see you in twenty.’

Bernard Morris was a tall, broad, cheerful man, recommended to Freddie by Doctor Atkinson after he had his accident. The vocalist had been apprehensive at first, thinking he could simply deal with the pain on his own; but he eventually relented when it became unbearable and had agreed to six weeks’ worth of sessions, so long as he could do it in the comfort of his own home. So far, Bernie’s methods had proved remarkably effective; Freddie’s back still hurt like hell, but he always felt slightly more relieved once he had been stretched and bent over a few times by a handsome looking man.

‘Thank you so much for this, darling.’ Said Freddie, as Bernie laid the exercise mat out on the floor and shifted the coffee table over to give them more space. ‘I was doing well for a couple of days but last night it started hurting like a bastard. I made the mistake of lifting Khaleel up too quickly during playtime.’

‘It’s no bother at all.’ Replied Bernie. ‘How’s the family? I still have yet to meet your little man.’

‘He’s very shy, our Kenny.’ Freddie chuckled fondly. ‘He’s been a bit clingy lately because of this new job Jim has taken up. He’s not used to him being away and he’s finding it hard to understand.’

‘Poor thing.’ Said Bernie sympathetically. ‘My little girl was the same when I started working full-time. But they get used to it eventually. Now,’ he cracked his knuckles, ‘shall we get started?’

‘Abso-fucking-lutely.’ Freddie said with a laugh and carefully laid himself down on the mat.

--

Khaleel let out a soft yawn as he finally finished colouring in Goliath’s bright yellow eyes and carefully added the picture to the pile of cat drawings he had been working on all afternoon. He didn’t like it when Daddy went to work; he was used to Baba being away, even though he missed him, but Daddy was always there and suddenly not having him around all day made Khaleel confused and scared.

His tummy began to rumble, so he hopped off his bed and carefully climbed down the staircases to tell his Baba that he would like a snack. But when he reached the bottom of the stairs, he heard a strange noise coming from the lounge. The door was open a crack, so Khaleel peeped through curiously.

Baba was lying on the floor and a strange man was sitting on top of him, pulling on his leg. Baba was moaning in pain, his arm flying up to cover his eyes as the strange man continued to push on his leg until his knee reached his chest, before stopping and doing the same with the other one. Baba started to cry a little, and the man said something, though Khaleel couldn’t hear what it was. The boy felt his tiny heart racing. There was a strange man in the house, and he was hurting his Baba. Daddy and Uncle Phoebe weren’t here to protect them. He wanted to run into the lounge and jump on the horrible man, but his feet were frozen to the floor, unable to move.

Then he remembered the phone. Daddy and Baba had taught him how to use it, though he was only supposed to use it in emergencies, and he was never to call 999 unless he really needed to. Daddy had left his work number beside the telephone in the hall, so Khaleel quickly hurried to it and stood up on his tiptoes to grab the handset. He stared hard at the numbers on the little piece of paper and slowly began pressing the buttons. (1/2)

Jim had to admit that it felt good cutting hair again.

Pritchard & Sons was nothing like the Savoy; it was small and intimate, with a far more welcoming atmosphere and friendly regulars who were always happy to make conversation. He instantly felt at home in the place and found himself actually looking forward to working on a Saturday; despite his full-time commitment to the garden, he had been longing for a change of scenery as of late, and this job offer was exactly what he needed.

He was busy brushing away the stray hairs from the shop floor when the telephone at the front desk began to ring. Carl was nowhere to be seen and his two co-workers, Simon and Neil, were busy with clients, so he set his broom against the wall and crossed over to the desk, picking up the handset before it could ring off.

‘Pritchard & Sons, how can I help you?’

‘Daddy?’ Came a small voice from the other end of the line.

Jim was taken back a second, as if he was hearing things. ‘Kenny? Is that you? Kenny, you shouldn’t be calling Daddy at work, he’s very busy.’

‘Daddy, I need help.’ The little boy whimpered in response.

‘Sweetheart, if you need help with something, ask your Baba-’

‘There’s a strange man in the house.’ Khaleel started to sob, his voice a terrified whisper, as if he was worried about being heard. ‘There’s a strange man and he’s hurting Baba.’

Jim felt his blood run cold. ‘W-what do you mean? Where’s Baba, Kenny?’

‘In the lounge. The man is on top of him, and Baba is crying.’

Oh Jesus. Jim began to shake, sweat beading his forehead as a million images flashed before his eyes. He knew he couldn’t let Khaleel hear the fear in his voice, otherwise it would just panic the little boy further. ‘Sweetheart, listen to me. I need you to go upstairs into your bedroom and hide under your bed, okay? Daddy’s coming, everything’s going to be okay.’

Khaleel continued to sob. ‘Daddy, please hurry.’‘

‘Please, Kenny, do as I say. Hang up the phone and go upstairs as quietly as you can. I promise I’ll be home soon.’

There was a loud sniff, before Khaleel mumbled, ‘hurry, Daddy,’ and the line went dead.

‘Tell Carl there’s been an emergency!’ Jim yelled over the counter to Simon, as he raced to the hat stand and grabbed his coat, racing through the door before he even got a response. He cursed as he fumbled with his car keys, almost dropping them into the gutter as his hands trembled violently; as soon as he was in the driver’s seat, he slammed his foot on the accelerator and sped down the road.

-----

As soon as he reached Garden Lodge, Jim immediately went around the back entrance, not wanting to alert the intruder by ringing the bell. As soon as he had turned the key in the back door, he immediately called for Freddie, feeling his heart sink when he didn’t receive a response. He slowly walked down the hallway, glancing into every room in case someone leapt out and attacked him, until he reached the kitchen and quickly armed himself with a large knife that had been left sitting on the counter. He prayed that he wouldn’t have to use it.

‘Freddie!’ he cried out again, almost in tears, the hand holding the knife shaking so hard it was a miracle he didn’t drop it.

The kitchen door suddenly swung open behind him, and he yelled in surprise, whipping round, knife clasped in both hands and pointed straight at his would-be assailant.

There was a high-pitched shriek and a crash, and only then did Jim realise it was Freddie, clad in one of his silk kimonos and surrounded by broken teacups. They both stood there, frozen, as Jim looked his husband up and down; Freddie appeared unhurt, though shell-shocked, the tray he had been carrying now lying at his feet amongst shards of china.

‘Jim!’ Freddie screamed, once he had overcome his initial shock. ‘What the bloody hell are you doing?!’

Jim didn’t respond. He dropped the knife immediately, letting it clatter against the kitchen tiles as he ran to Freddie and scooped him into his arms, hugging him fiercely. His husband let out a surprised squeak as he was suddenly lifted off the floor and he quickly wound his legs around Jim’s hips before the younger man dropped him on his arse. It felt like Jim stood there forever, holding onto Freddie tightly, swaying back and forth like he did when soothing Khaleel to sleep.

‘Darling?’ Freddie finally whispered into Jim’s flushed ear. ‘Darling, what’s going on? What was all that about?’

Jim finally released his husband, brushing away the tears that had fallen down his cheeks as he cupped Freddie’s face and looked desperately into his eyes. ‘Are you alright? Are you hurt?’

Freddie looked baffled. ‘Hurt? Of course not! Why would I be hurt? And what are you even doing here? I thought you didn’t finish work until six.’

The Irishman’s heart finally began to relax as he took a moment to process this information. ‘Khaleel called the shop. He said there was a man in here and he was hurting you. I got here as fast as I could.’

Freddie stared at him with wide eyes, looking like a deer in headlights. ‘Oh my God…Jim, that was Bernie. Bernie Morris, my physiotherapist. He’s in the conservatory, I was just about to make us some more tea.’

Jim looked like he was about to collapse to the floor. He leaned back against the counter, colour finally returning to his face as he realised that Freddie and Khaleel had never been in any danger. All the horrifying scenarios that had been playing in his mind finally ceased to be.

‘Oh God…’ he covered his eyes with his hands, taking deep, uneven breaths, ‘I thought some psycho had broken in, I thought…’ He cut off, not wanting to even consider what could have happened.

Freddie carefully stepped over the mess on the floor, careful not to cut his bare feet as he approached him and put his arms around Jim’s neck, gently kissing his forehead. ‘You really would have killed a man just to protect me?’

Jim removed his hands from his eyes and replied without any hesitation. ‘Absolutely. The bastard wouldn’t have known what hit him.’

Freddie chucked softly, ‘my knight in shining armour.’ Then suddenly his eyes went wide. ‘Kenny! Where’s Kenny?’

‘I told him to go upstairs and hide under his bed.’ Replied Jim. ‘Come on, let’s go and get him. He’s scared out of his wits.’

-----

It had taken a while to coax Khaleel out from underneath his bed. But his parents eventually managed to convince him that the mean man downstairs was actually a very nice man, who was helping Baba get better, and the only reason Baba had been crying in the lounge was because his back hurt so much. They praised him for being such a brave boy and using the phone to call for help when he thought it was needed. Khaleel eventually crawled out and let Freddie carry him downstairs.

He hid in face in Freddie’s shoulder when he saw Bernie, his body trembling in fear. But he gradually looked up when Bernie started chatting to him, realising this strange man wasn’t really that scary up close. By the time Phoebe arrived home from town, Kenny was sitting on Bernie’s lap, giggling as the man held one of his soft toys, pretending to make it talk in a deep gruff voice.

‘What happened here?’ Phoebe asked as he walked into the kitchen to see Jim sweeping up the broken china into a dustpan.

‘Long story.’ Was all the Irishman said in reply. (2/2)

--------------------------------------------------

Aww an extra long update! I loved it😊 It was exactly what I needed after the exhausting day I've had, thank you for making me smile with this part (and all your stories everyday).

I was happy to see Jim take up a part time job of a hairdresser. I've often wondered about that in Freddie!lives scenarios. I think one of the reasons why Jim took up the job of the gardener at GL is to be close to Freddie who had received his diagnosis by that time, if I'm not wrong.

And aww, baby Khaleel being so smart and calling up his father when he saw that his baba was in danger. And ofc, Jim being ready to do absolutely anything to keep his family safe... my heart.

And lol, I can see Phoebe rolling his eyes in the kitchen like, "I take one day off..."

(More drabbles by writer anon)

[hanmajoerin]

Polished, but pulled straight from the 2015 vault. Please excuse slightly dated versions of Rinne and Sakura, I wrote this prior to the end of the series.

Summary: Ever since she could see ghosts, Sakura wasn’t afraid of death. Maybe she was afraid of dying, but not what happened afterwards; then she met Rinne, and it was suddenly too hard to be afraid of dying, too.

II AO3 II Fanfiction.Net II

Overtime

The last time Rinne wore that expression was five minutes after Sakura wheeled her life—three suitcases, two purses, and one overstuffed backpack—into the center of his studio apartment. Sakura was practically wheezing as she said, "I want to live with you, Rinne." It was more of a demand than a request, and once she could stand without having to brace her knees, Sakura shrugged her purses and backpack right into the apartment's entryway.

She refused to let Rinne tell her no, a word that appeared to be resting on the edge of his open mouth. She supposed that it shouldn’t have surprised her though when his response finally came. “You deserve more than this.”

Rinne wasn’t necessarily wrong. The place he and Rokumon called home was maybe three steps above Sankai High’s rundown clubhouse. There was a clunky A/C unit that was barely used, a musty aroma that clung to some of Tamako’s old furniture, and a dingy light that hung in the center of the studio apartment’s main room. It was a far cry from a dream home, but Sakura wasn’t looking for that. She’d been looking for him. Sweating through her skin during the summer and shivering regardless of how many sweaters she piled on during the winter didn’t seem all that bad if she and Rinne could continue passing on souls together. That’s why, even after all of this time, she stood by her response to him. “It’s enough.”

Earlier today Sakura stood next to Rinne at her own funeral; it was a bit weird to watch since she felt very much alive, but she stayed in place, hand clamped onto Rinne's shoulder. The shinigami wore an indifferent expression although he stood as rigid as a wooden plank. Death and finding peace were everyday occurrences for both of them she hadn't meant to change, but it was likely all he was thinking about. He was nodding his head, playing along, but she bet he was figuring out how much time was left. Sakura wondered if she should recycle her words from over sixty years ago, but didn’t. Call it intuition, but she figured that the phrase, “it’s enough,” wouldn't have the same effect now. "I'm right here," was all she decided to say whenever his voice strained while talking to her relatives and friends.

After the funeral, Rinne remained in one of her father's black suits, and because he didn't look a day over thirty-five, it continued to fit better than any glove. The dress shoes he wore were weathered, faded. They belonged to Rinne’s grandfather. The outsoles were thin yet Sakura heard each step he took in the afterlife; it was as if they were somehow tangled in the dirt, and he needed to drag himself forward.

They just made it to the street vendors bordering the Entry of Contentedness when it hit Sakura. A new kind of silence was stretching between them that felt out of place, or rather, dated. The two spent most of their lives together, so now was the oddest time to feel like high schoolers again. That's why Sakura hooked her arm around the familiar folds of the haori of the underworld. Her hand easily slid down to Rinne’s. With all its sunken skin and protruding veins, Sakura often wondered if it was weird for her hand to sit in his. Rinne never mentioned anything, even when she was alive. He offered her a gentle albeit forced smile.

"I remember the last few times I was here," Sakura confessed, sounding surprisingly chipper as she took in all the new old faces. "Back when I ripped your haori sleeve, everyone kept asking me if I had any unfinished business and they were so happy that I forgot I had to return it. I think I really understand them now, though."

Rinne offered her another crooked smile, one that was nowhere near as genuine as his salesman’s smile. "That's because it's easy to get swept up in the atmosphere of this area."

"Are you happy now?" Sakura inquired, not bothering to listen to his response. She was lucky, dying an old woman. Although she tended to walk slower, she could walk ten times faster than the stroll Rinne took her on. She wasn’t the one with the attachments. "I wonder what Ageha will do once she realizes I'm gone," Sakura said, staring at the string of red lanterns lining the strip.

"She's still trying to take my old man down; probably won't be back for a while..."

Sakura nodded, watching as one of the elderly men tried catching a goldfish. "That boot-camp her parents sent her to really helped. I never thought she'd learn to pass on souls like you... it definitely made things easier for Oboro."

"Yeah," Rinne hummed and Sakura squeezed his hand. "Jumonji's going to throw an entire briefcase of holy ash at me when I tell him you made it to the wheel," he mumbled, finally looking down at Sakura. His eyes shined like glass. He chuckled alongside her.

"Don’t forget to respond to his new year's letter when you get home," Sakura chided.

In their senior year of high school, Tsubasa transferred again. He promised he'd be back to date Sakura, but once he finally found his exorcism niche, that promise was too difficult to keep. Instead of returning, Tsubasa wrote Sakura a letter every year. After a while, he finally stopped signing them with "Love."

Was it even possible for Sakura to feel more warmth now? She was a content spirit, but the sight of Rinne scoffing and wearing such a nostalgic expression somehow made her feel lighter. "Isn't Tsubasa more tolerable than Matsugo though?" They hadn't seen him since college.

"Sakura Mamiya!" Rinne blurted out, throwing her arm away from his. Sakura couldn’t help but laugh; she hadn’t been called that in decades.

"At least Shoma didn't turn out too bad, right?" The overambitious shinigami inherited his family fortune but still had a lot to learn when it came to pacifying spirits. Rinne helped him out from time to time. "Oh, do you remember when my mother passed? She was so shocked that you offered to lead her to the Wheel of Reincarnation and even more surprised that I could see her."

"Yeah, and your dad tried to kill me when he died; he almost turned into an evil spirit," Rinne added. "Would've been better if he did. At least then I would've gotten a better reward..."

Sakura sighed and stared at the sky above them. It was a mesh of bright colors. Pinks and yellows, soft reds and blues. Whirlpools twirled above them like ballet dancers. Maybe if she didn't know what would happen next, she would've gazed upwards stiffly like her husband. "Did Auntie Tamako tell you how I'll come back?" She asked, leaning against his shoulder as they arrived at the Sanzu River.

Countless adorable boats eased downstream, shinigami and black cats guiding spirits like employees of a theme park. Death and peace, everyday occurrences. Ends followed by new beginnings, an inevitable process. Rinne swept Sakura up bridal style and she leaned her head against his heart. There was no peace to be experienced by listening to it, but Sakura shouldn’t have expected to find comfort in him. They flew over the Sanzu River and Rinne hummed in agreement to Sakura’s question. "You'll be a calico."

And then they arrived at the line, and she was set down. Sakura stared at the stupefied, blissful faces around them. They encouraged her to shed the oncoming urges to memorize every feature on Rinne's face. Sakura Rokudo’s last ties.

"I've had so much fun in this life, and it's all because of you."

The way his shoulders tensed and his mouth quivered when she said stuff like that always made her laugh. "R-really?"

Sakura nodded vigorously, moving in time with the line of souls waiting to step onto the Wheel of Reincarnation. "Yup. Promise you'll find me again so we can make new memories in my next life."

"Alright..." Rinne agreed as a blush blew across the bridge of his nose. "I'll do it."

Rinne lifted her by the waist onto one of the translucent red tiles, planting her square in the center. When Sakura was settled, he interlocked their fingers. "Great," she began, not fighting the pull the wheel had on their grip. "Now I truly have no attachments."

Rinne’s feet lifted off the ground, keeping their hands level. He ignored the idle chatter surrounding them, attempting to mirror Sakura’s carefree attitude. She may have been ready, but he wasn’t. "Excuse me, Sir," a pig-masked worker interrupted, tugging on the bottom of his haori. Maybe it was the spot where the man tugged, but it brought Rinne back to when Sakura used to tug on the sleeve of his office blazer. She’d remind him that, “The only person we should be pacifying until 6:30PM is the manager," as countless spirits wandered through the surrounding cubicles. The memories from their working days seemed so small in light of where they were now and he didn't know what to do. "Shinigami are not permitted beyond this point, please step back onto the platform."

"Right. Sorry," Rinne mumbled, slowly lowering himself until Sakura's hand slid too easily out of his.

She shrunk before his eyes, her spirit becoming more translucent the higher up she went. It took every scrap of courage Rinne had to keep focused. He searched Sakura’s entire face for the moments when they were in high school and he walked a tightrope with their relationship. Her backpack was gone, her uniform was gone, and she hadn't put her hair in braids after their coworker Yumi made fun of her for it, but maybe—just maybe— he'd be able to go back. The years were there after all, lined up along the lines of her face.

"Goodbye,” Sakura said, although he couldn’t really hear her. She waved to him. She asked him to find her. It was a naïve request; humans never lived the same life twice.

"Goodbye, Sakura," Rinne whispered, waving back at his most treasured person as she rounded the top, lost in the Wheel of Reincarnation’s magnificent reds and golds.

-X-

Rinne told Rokumon that he'd return home after guiding Sakura to the Wheel of Reincarnation, but his entire body sagged like a sodden, rotten log. It would be too hard to look at anyone without feeling as if he were troubling them.

"Granny," Rinne stated loudly, sliding the door open and walking into Tamako's house. It was the only place he could stand to be. She was the only one who would understand.

Like clockwork, Tamako materialized to twist her knuckles against Rinne's temples. He was still standing in the genkan. "How many times do I have to tell you not to—Rinne!"

She probably hadn't expected his forehead to fly from her knuckles to her shoulder. Or for the momentum to send them toppling into the hallway. "Rinne?" She asked, raising a brow at the chipped, worn dress shoes his toes dangled over. His back and shoulders rose and fell without rhythm and he wrapped his arms around her but the action brought no comfort. Tamako pushed him back, and Rinne wished she would have let him stay hidden. His eyes glistened as he took deep breaths. "What kind of shinigami are you—crying over something as common as death?"

"I'm a human, kind of thing."

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 79 Rundown

Code Geass: Lelouch is establishing the official United States of Fuck Imperialism which is like the UN but actually does stuff, plus he has to deal with the fact that CC’s lost her memory and is acting like a demure slave girl harem choice from a VN. Charles is still trapped in the Human Instrumentality Shadow Realm so everyone figures this is a great time to unify everyone against Britannia. Kallen beats the shit out of Suzaku for being a dick to her all this time and the Knight of Ten is making his rounds because they realize they forgot to give him any buildup and he’s going to be a miniboss later so they have to cram all his being a dick personality into like five minutes while all the Knights of the Round assemble to prepare for an attack on Japan once the National Federation is formed. Llyod and Cecile for some reason enhanced the Guren for Suzaku even though he’s clearly more used to the Lancelot but apparently they enhanced it too much and made it a death machine like the Talgeese in Gundam Wing so Suzaku has to stick with the Lancelot. Looks like the Guren will have to sit and collect dust unless a certain pilot is rescued and then immediately has a convenient upgrade. Amazingly all the countries go along with everything Zero says and give up their militaries and have the Black Knights be the official military of the Federation. I don’t know how that works given that the Black Knights have been struggling to fight off one nation’s military idk how it’s supposed to substitute for a dozen nations’ military but I guess they conscript support and troops from the other nations or something. Charles comes back on the tv after the Federation is formed and is all “Awww what a cute little UN you have, fuck off bro.” which you’d think this’d be the perfect time for him to just out Lelouch as Zero and wreck the Black Knights’ morale but he doesn’t for some reason and they’re just gonna fight. Lelouch is freaking out and knows that having everyone want to murder the Britannian royal family includes Nunally so he calls Suzaku who just straight up goes “Bro cut the crap are you Zero or not?” and after so much plotting and scheming Lelouch just comes right out with it. Suzaki agrees to protect Nunally as long as Lelouch meets him alone at the Kururugi Shrine where this all began.

Inuyasha: This is another one of those Modern Day filler episodes which are always fun. There’s just something about Inuyasha running around in modern Japan being Spider-Man and saving people and catching bank robbers on the way to deliver Kagome’s lunch that’s so thoroughly entertaining. Basically Inuyasha spends this whole episode jittery that everyone’s so chill and ready to relax after Naraku just got away and is probably an inch from death but after a big adventure in the modern era where Kagome is as usual unprepared for her test, he ends up passing out on the bed after insisting a little battle with Naraku wouldn’t exhaust him. It’s a really cute little episode to let everyone bide some time and reflect on the past arc now that we’re starting a new wave of filler before we get to the Band of Seven and Mt. Hakurei stuff.

Yu Yu Hakusho: The first match of the tournament is about to begin and Botan, Shizuru, and Keiko come in with Koenma who is sick of baby jokes and puts on his bishonen disguise to impress everyone. There’s some neat lore about how they gave Koenma the guest team every year to bribe him into not shutting down the tournament without giving him anything of value and how the bloody show of the Dark Tournament pacifies the demons so they kill fewer humans, so that’s cool. Since Yusuke is still passed out, Kuwabara is de facto Captain and decides on simple one on one matches while the other team Captain just kinda roasts an eight of the crowd to see if it’ll wake Yusuke up. Kuwabara’s in the first match versus Prototype Killua, complete with afterimages and yo-yo tricks. They size each other up for a while and Kuwabara shrugs off getting his fucking neck broken surprisingly well while they go back and forth with “Well I can track YOU better” for a while. Togashi really loves his yo-yos of death so those have Kuwabara on the ropes and turn him into a fucking kite ready to slam back down into the arena, so yeah, Kuwabara’s having a rough time of it.

Fate Zero: Waver’s been having strange dreams about Iskandar, and not the ones people usually have about him. So he goes to get a basic history lesson on the historical figure that’s been chilling on his couch for a few weeks and spending all his money on xbox live arcade. They also go through all the ridiculously obvious historical inaccuracies and Iskandar’s just like “idk bro, I’m here so the book must be wrong” which is hilarious because Fate also does this with more modern historical figures that we have pictures of and shit so they basically sit there saying all historians have no idea what they’re talking about and gaslighting the field of history as a whole. On the way back Waver’s upset that Iskandar’s so awesome that it basically takes any effort on his part to win and it won’t be an actual achievement despite the fact that they’ve taken out like… one servant, MAYBE, and most of the other historical figures are equally over the top. But still Iskandar says that if your aspirations are big enough it doesn’t matter how big or small you are, everyone’s tiny in the grand scheme of things and clawing at greatness you can’t truly perceive is what matters. Also Caster and his boy have found the wreck they made of their workshop of dead bodies and are kinda fucked up about it but also ready to fuck up more people because God sucks or some shit. So Caster summons a Bloodborne monster which you think more people would notice and mention during Shirou’s time, like nobody in UBW ever said “Hey remember like seven years ago when a giant Bloodborne monster appeared in the river?” so I’m guessing there’s some kind of perception blocking going on. But yeah everyone’s gonna jump on the Bloodborne Monster next time for the season premiere.  

Konosuba: So we pick up where we left off and Kazuma is working off his debt by… killing more toads. Wow this world really is like a video game, we get the same five enemies over and over again. However they’re fucked without Darkness throwing herself into monster orifices looking for a good time so Yunyun has to save them. We already met Yunyun in the OVA so it’s kinda weird to be re-introduced to her here in basically the same way but their relationship is basically like Gai and Kakashi if they only did the lame dorky challenges Kakashi suggested when he’s too lazy to think of a good one. Also there’s a cat now, I don’t think that really comes to anything, just a scene of Megumin going “we have a cat now” and everyone’s like “kay”. Kazuma and Megumin play Naked Chicken to see who can get more naked before the other backs down and end up taking a bath together because they’re both stubborn assholes. Also we get a quick snippet of Yunyun and Megumin’s backstories which you can basically make Yunyun’s the swing scene from Naruto (idk why Yunyun is bring out the Naruto references in me today) and Megumin is stealing bread like Les Miserables in increasingly bizarre and disgusting ways because she’s ridiculously poor or some shit.

Sailor Moon Crystal: So turns out that Usagi and Mamoru BOTH had their shots with the ‘fucks everything up’ sword with a pocketwatch and… the discarded gems of the four knights? Idk how that works given they were humans and also dead but what baffles me more is that both Usagi and Mamoru very obviously did not get hit by the sword but decided to fall down dead and not move for a couple minutes despite their shots very much being blocked and there being no blood. Anyway Queen Metalia has the crystal, bullshit is happening, 1000 years of darkness, you’ve seen Xiaolin Showdown, you know the drill. The remaining four Guardians get a cute little flashback of Usagi saying what she likes about them and then they give up their lives to revive her inside the dark energy blob of Queen Metalia and crystals and lights and shit happens and swords and wands are pulled out of nowhere and you know how a final boss goes, they beat it with the power of believing in themselves and shit like that. Also apparently the only difference between sealing Metalia away and killing her is hitting the giant bullseye on her forehead so yeah, hopefully she’s down for good this time. I don’t want to complain because this show was genre-defining but it’s hard to find things to say about something so generic and milktoast, it’s the Seinfeld problem where there’s been so many more interesting iterations that it’s just kinda “get on with it already” at this point. The only real markedly noticeable thing about it is how plainly and unashamedly it is about being a power fantasy for teen girls, and there’s something to that, harmless power fantasies can be fun but it just feels like the physical mechanics of this kind of progression being “She feels this shit REALLY HARD” is less exciting than some of the alternatives

Durarara!!: It’s the big Masaomi backstory episode and we get the whole deal of how he formed the Yellow Scarves and got into a relationship with Saki because Izaya wanted to orechestrate a gang war because that’s what Izaya does all day is orchestrate gang wars. It’s kind of amazing how many kids in this show are like “I don’t know how it happened but one thing led to another and suddenly I was at the head of one of the largest gangs in the city” like they kinda really yadda yadda over how that actually happens. But anyway Saki gets hurt in the gang war and Kadota’s gang has to save her because Masaomi’s adrenaline wears off at the last second and he can’t try and rush in and save her. I mean Dota’s van got there first anyway so how much he’d have been able to help would be doubtful but he feels bad about not even being able to try and Izaya says that fear and failure of his past will dominate his future actions which is exactly what he’s doing by letting his paranoia and frustration lead him to a war on the Saika army. Dota-chin tells him to face up to it and stop running or live with the shame of lying to Saki but Masomi can’t do that and his shame and determination to reverse the situation leads everyone into chaos as Anri discovers his secret.

[sage-druid]

A friendly grey wolf was spotted near your place Ms. Druid. Be sure to give it pets while walking past it. It likes pets and cuddles. -- Wolfie

Nature’s Soulmates

The silvery moon shone brightly in the vast sky.  Like a single cat’s-eye, it pulsed with a luminescence through a soft haze.  The thin layer of clouds partially obstructed its full view, like a sheer lace curtain on a breezy summer evening; graciously allowing for the forest to be fully aglow with a guiding light. As the crisp autumn air brought forth a hint of the impending chill that signified nature’s warning of the change of season, leaves began to crack and crumble with each deliberate step.

A magical feeling surged through the air.  And it was nights such as this, where our female druid felt most alive.  Each full harvest moon, she paid homage to Selene by taking the form of a large wolf as part of her Circle of the Moon ritual. Her long flowing coat was pale blue with highlights of teal.  While this was an unusual color for a natural wolf, it was the normal effect of the shapeshift that depicted her natural color as a genasi. Tonight, she frolicked in the dried leaves, ran full speed through the forest, and leaped over large rocks and dead tree stumps. After much consuming fun, nearly breathless, she stumbled upon a gently flowing brook and stopped to take a drink.  Something caused her to stop mid-lap. It was the sound of a plaintive wail, from off in the distance.

She quickly ventured towards the sound.  Through the dense foliage she saw it; it was a medium sized grey wolf. The wolf, whimpering in pain, was caught in a hunter’s trap.  The beast’s left front paw was stuck in the steel trap. The wolf licked its leg feverishly, and desperately tried to release the trap. To no avail, the wolf was in dire need of help.  Our druidess had a decision to make.  She knew, in wolf form, that she would not be able to spring the trap.  As large as she was, she did not have the strength in her lanky legs to apply the proper amount of force. By opposition, she realized that by dropping her wolf form, she would run the risk of frightening the wounded animal. She decided, she should approach as a familiar to try to gain the trust of the wolf before dropping form and freeing it. This was going to take some finesse.

Cautiously she approached with her head down to take a submissive stance. The grey beast bared its large fangs and growled. Lowering her head even further, she crept forward slowly.  When she was a meter away, she dropped and laid prone on the ground. This act seemed to have pacified the wolf. It leaned forward to gather the scent of the druid but stopped suddenly as it was perplexed by the lack of a recognizable smell. This wolf did not smell like other beasts in the forest. Something was not right. Still, the larger wolf was down, showing no threat, and the wounded wolf was in such pain that its sole focus was removing itself from the predicament.

She felt that she should at least attempt to spring the trap while in her current state.  Without making eye contact, she stood up and placed her large paw on the release lever; nothing, it would not budge. The grey wolf somehow sensed what the blue wolf was trying to do and did not attack.  In fact, it joined in the pursuit and took its free paw and applied it on top of the larger paw to apply more pressure. The joint effort was futile.  Even with the combined strength of both, the lever would not release.  At this point, the druidess became extremely frustrated and began jumping up and down with both paws falling on the lever. She was pouncing and jumping; trying in vain the release the trap.  The grey wolf howled in agony, because the missed attempts were jostling the trap and causing it to dig further into the wolf’s leg.  Seeing the misfortune that she was causing; she abruptly stopped and snorted a gruff pant in defeat.

She had no choice. There was only one option.  She had to drop form, because in this state she did not possess the strength; nor could she cast any magic. She retreated two meters, looked the wolf in the eyes, and dropped form. She stood before the wounded wolf in all her glorious genasi form. She was three inches short of six feet. Her long teal locks cascaded down her back, which complimented the tone of her pale blue skin. Her markings glowed white in the full moonlight; while her piercing blue eyes sparkled as she stared cautiously at the wolf. Oddly, while startled, the wolf made no aggressive movements. She carefully reached out her hand as she gazed tenderly into the wolf’s tearful eyes.

 “Easy girl.  Easy now.  I am not going to hurt you.  Let me help you get out of this.  Okay? I am here to help.  Please don’t attack me.  Relax now.  It’s going to be okay.  Work with me here.”, she pleaded.

Cautiously she encroached closer as she looked deeply into the wolf’s eyes while she hummed a melodic tune lightly. Without the wolf noticing, she shortened the gap; until at long last, she was within the distance she needed. She promptly stepped on the release lever and reached down and carefully removed the broken paw from the trap. She placed both hands around the leg and muttered something in an ancient primordial language. A warm light engulfed the wound that brought an immediate sense of relief. She released her hold and disengaged.

 “There you go. That wasn’t so bad now, was it? See, that feels better, doesn’t it?  It’s going to take a while to fully heal, so go easy on it. Be well my friend. Okay, now off with you.  Head back to your pack. Go on now. Go on.”, she urged.

She waved her hands in a scooting motion. But the wolf was not retreating. At first, the druidess thought she might be in trouble.  Was the wolf going to attack?  She felt the best course of action was to back away slowly, while not breaking eye contact. When she had built up enough of a safe distance, she waved “goodbye” and turned around and walked away.  She continued to walk back to the stream where she was prior to the incident.  She had walked for about 15 minutes when she felt an odd sensation; like she was being watched. She turned around and noticed that the wolf was following along at a languid pace due to its limp.  She turned around and tried to shoo the wolf to go away again.

 “Hey now. I thought I told you to head back to your pack.  Why are you following me?  I’m not really a wolf, okay?  It’s just something I can do.  I mean, technically I can change into any animal I see, but some of them may scare you. I just can’t do it right now and show you.  Why am I trying to explain this to you?, she babbled.

You don’t even understand. Go now. LEAVE!”, she shouted as she stomped her foot on the ground hoping to scare the wolf into going on its way.

The wolf was not deterred and continued its awkwardly gradual pursuit as the druid continued to press forward until she reached the bank of the stream. She turned and looked over her shoulder and saw the wolf sitting as it awaited her next move.  She placed her feet into the cool water and smiled. Finally, she relented and patted the ground to motion for the wolf to join her.

 “Okay, silly, come on over.  I guess you are very thirsty, huh?  I might as well, clean and bandage that wound while I am at it.”, she grinned as she realized she had lost her heart a wolf.

The wolf strolled up next to her. Carefully, it leaned its head forward and began to drink its fill of the cold water.  The druidess tore off a strip of fabric from her royal blue cape.  She submerged it into the water and meticulously used it to clean the wound on the leg while it was engaged in quenching its thirst. When she cleared away all of the blood, she carefully wrapped the cloth around the leg to prevent infection and to offer a makeshift support brace.  

 She lightly joked, “See that. You are mine now. You are wearing my colors. I hope you like blue.”

Where’s your family, girl? Don’t you have anyone? I guess you are like me; all alone in this big world. Well you are more than welcome to accompany me if you want.  It would be nice to have some company.”, she muttered on as she sighed.

When the wolf finished drinking, it sat besides the druid on the bank and stared into her eyes.  She smiled and gently ran her fingers through the wolf’s fur.  The contented wolf appeared appreciative and nudged closer.  As she continued her soft petting, the wolf leaned forward and applied a huge slobbery lick to the druid’s face. The smiling druid threw her arms around the wolf and hugged tightly as she wiped the wolf saliva off her cheek by burying her face into the wolf’s pelt.  Exhausted by the ordeal, they both collapsed on the grass and nestled close to one another. As the druidess laid her head on the wolf’s stomach, they both drifted off into a deep and peaceful slumber under the starry night sky.

And hence, this is the story of how druids and wolves tamed each other and became companions.  To this day, they travel night and day throughout many lands interwoven in spirit through their devotion and loyalty for each other. Fiercely protective; creating a supernatural soul-bond that can never be broken for all of eternity.

[snowflake-of-destruction]

Imagine Roxas and Axel babysitting for Sora and Riku

Teamwork

"I like adding spontaneous, fun extra challenges to the day as much as the next guy, provided the next guy is you, but I have to say, I think Floor is Lava Tuesdays is a better idea than weird plastic puzzle locks on the cabinets."

Roxas glanced up from where he knelt on the floor, fixing covers and bars on the under the sink cabinets in the kitchen to see his husband framed in the doorway, looking the casual print ad model, chiseled lines under soft sweats, hands curled around a mug of steaming liquid that smelled almost as delicious as the holder (of course the mug was emblazoned with the word SLUT in bold letters which would probably have to be censored out of the ad), bun with just enough flyaways to seem careless but pulled to the perfect angle.  "I'm baby proofing."

"As the baby, I resent that remark," Axel tutted before setting his coffee next to the sink and crouching down beside Roxas. "What brought this on? You have some news to tell me?"

Axel expected an eye roll from his husband, but Roxas set the angry looking plastic finger trap he was holding down and ran a hand through his hair nervously, a mild pink tinge crawling up his neck and Axel felt his smile freeze in the middle of forming.  "Well, actually, I do have some news..."

"You're kidding." Axel felt his blood run cold and then super heated through his veins in quick succession as time slowed down.

Roxas's frown at the interruption morphed to a furrowed brow of confusion and then annoyance. "Axel, I told you already. Replica bodies don't work that way. I'm not going to 'go seahorse'"

"Xion can..."

"Xion is a special case. You are stuck with me with no alterations."

"Eh, I still have the much better end of the deal."

"Yeah, you do."

A shared smile and a quick kiss distracted Axel a moment longer from asking, "So what's the news?"

"I told Sora and Riku we'd babysit for them tonight." Roxas ripped the bandage off quickly. He braced for a less than enthusiastic response, though actually receiving one was still disappointing.

"Listen, I'm sorry about the acknowledgements. Every book I write is dedicated to 'my heart, my love, my Roxas.' I thought that was a given by now, and I just had to write what other dedications would come after it. It was the publisher's fault, and I should not be punished."

"I'm not punishing you," Roxas felt his face wilt as he picked back up the baby proofing supplies to finish what he had started. "I thought it would be fun. Riku and Sora really need a night out, and it gives us a chance to, you know, see what it's like."

It wasn't that Axel missed Roxas's hurt tone or his latter words and their meaning, even if they had been mumbled. It was more a combination of not wanting to be lured toward a slippery slope of manipulation or ready to revisit the conversation of whether he felt they should start seriously thinking about adding to their family soon rather than a general "some day" they'd always said before. Roxas had brought it up last week, and Axel appreciated that he had, but it hadn't exactly gone well when he'd been taken by surprise and his gut instinct response was less enthusiastic than Roxas had seemed to want. He was letting the idea soak in now, and it needed a little more time to marinate before he could give a response. If Roxas was going to push, it would probably need even more time. So it was better not to toe too closely to the sensitive, personal part of baby discussion and do what they both had the inclination to always go back to, deflection with a joke. "To let a Babynort into the house?"

"Ripan is not a Nort." Roxas hissed defense of his other's son since Sora and Ripan couldn't defend themselves.

"Then how come he has white hair? Answer me that," Axel challenged.

"He has silver hair. Like Riku. Riku's genes are the only inherited evil Ripan has and I don't think we should hold that against him. He's just a baby."

"No, no, babies are adorable balls for holding and cooing at and then handing back to their parents. Terrifying because their heads are squishy and they can't hold them up, but otherwise not dangerous at all. This thing is mobile. I've seen it." Axel lent the revelation the appropriate air of horror, though he neglected to mention he'd seen Ripan crawling up a wall, imitating either one of his fathers or the younger Incredible boy, which rendered his warning easily mistaken for his typical melodrama.

"That's why I'm baby proofing."

"Did you get the upstairs?"

"It's not going to be able to climb the stairs by itself...Is it?"

Axel thought it over since the stair thing seemed to alarm Roxas. "Probably more easily than it could get to the ceiling. I'm just going to feed it ice cream and hope that appeases it."

"I don't think it..he can have ice cream yet. Sora said he was going to write us a list of rules."

Axel's attitude toward the night ahead of them turned on a dime when the suggestion that someone else thought he was less than capable intruded to punch at his ego.  "Rules like what? We know what to do."

"Damn straight." Roxas stood, dusted off his hands, and stole Axel's coffee off the counter.

"We'd be great with kids," Axel insisted, reaching out to take the coffee back, taking a sip, and returning it to Roxas.

"That's right," Roxas encouraged.

"We take care of Demyx!" Axel could honestly say that he'd fed, bathed, and rocked Demyx to sleep under different circumstances. Luckily, no diapers had ever been involved. "We're Turkey's dads!"

"And he's the most demanding little baby of all!" Roxas championed Axel's logic even while being reminded that he'd forgotten to feed Turkey before starting his project with the cabinets. He'd have to rectify that now. It was a miracle Turkey wasn't already dramatically expressing the utter betrayal of being left to starve.

"Next to me," Axel provided the punchline at his expense.

"Next to you." Roxas leaned up on tiptoe to steal a kiss and pressed the coffee cup with its last sips at the bottom into his husband's hands for him to finish off. "Now go put on something more suitable for tonight."

"What's more suitable than sweats for babysitting a baby? A tarp?" Axel drained the coffee.

"Put on something nice."

"Is Ripan conducting a formal interview before storytime?"

"No, but his dads might."

Roxas's instincts turned out to be right. Sora and Riku not only had a list of rules but a pop quiz on protocol and babysitting readiness that needed to be passed before they would leave, despite the fact that Roxas and Axel, already had the job, were doing it as a favor, were only taking Ripan for a few hours and not permanently adopting him and taking him into the heart of Deep Jungle, and Riku and Sora's normal babysitter was a fifteen year old girl (though Violet had warned them that she might have to cut back even more than she had. Ripan and her brother Jack Jack tended to be "a little challenging" in her words, when she had to watch both of them).

Ripan's part of the testing was to sit on the floor sucking on his giraffe pacifier and rolling an alphabet block between his hands, occasionally looking up with large, liquid blue eyes either to question why he was sitting on a strange floor or to ask why his dads were still there. Or maybe to ask why the other baby curled in the entertainment center next to the cable box was so ugly and meowed.

"I promise you. Ripan is going to have so much fun tonight he's never going to want to leave...but he's also going to be asleep by nine and I won't forget to rub the cream on his arms before I put on his sleepytime shirt," Roxas swore, crossing his heart over the I like coffee and maybe three people shirt he'd neglected to change out of despite telling Axel to look nice.

"Okay, I believe in you," Sora assured him before selling out his husband. "But Riku sincerely does not. So can you please promise me you will take extra good care of our little angel? I know he's kind of a handful, but-"

"Are you kidding?" Axel chuckled, unperturbed. "You're talking to the best babysitters in the business. There is no one more qualified for this job."

"You've literally never done this before," Riku groused, hands clenching in his pockets as he regressed to his old nervous tick.

"We are totally capable of taking care of your precious angel, okay? It's not like we don't have kids too." Roxas gestured to the entertainment center where Turkey sat, eyeing the miniature human. It had eyes like His Boy, so Turkey thought he might be able to trust it, but the threat of someone else Heat Giver and His Boy might want to snuggle that was not Turkey was hard to face.

"That's why I'm concerned," Riku concentrated on breathing evenly through his nose and not sounding too snappish. "That is not a child. That is a cat in a knit sweater."

"We'll be fine," Roxas insisted, ignoring Riku's slight, when defending Turkey's status as first child would make Sora and Riku miss their reservation. "We have your list and everything he needs. You two just enjoy yourselves!"

"See, it's fine, Riku." Sora nudged Riku toward the door. "Bye Ripan! Behave yourself for your uncles!"

Ripan gurgled solemnly, swearing to be nothing but the perfect child.

"Have fun guys! We'll be back around eleven!" Sora nudged Riku a bit harder, recognizing him for the immoveable object he was. "Riku stop glaring and walk."

Roxas opened the door for them, Axel waved to them as they retreated, Roxas closed the door. It was a total of maybe fifteen seconds they didn't have eyes on Ripan. The first fifteen seconds they were in charge of the vulnerable life of the baby that had been sitting near motionless and content in the living room for fifteen minutes. The baby that was still sitting content after those fifteen seconds and still near motionless, just with his pacifier out of his mouth and on the floor beside him and his mouth working as if he were chewing.

Axel and Roxas shared a glance and dove at the same time. Ripan shrieked, which should have proved his mouth was empty, but Axel used the opportunity to sweep a finger inside the child's mouth to make sure. Ripan employed natural defenses. Namely, biting down as hard as he could with his four impressive teeth.

Axel howled. Ripan laughed which allowed the red head to withdraw his injured hand. Roxas comforted Axel, for a moment, then warned him not to take his eyes off Ripan again because they might not get lucky again, and went to wash floor germs from the pacifier for the first, but, by no means, last time of the night. Minute one drew to a close with everyone still unscathed.

Minute fifteen gave birth to everyone's least favorite game, Turkey Chase and Smack, though Crawl Behind Couch gave it a difficult battle for the title.

At the end of the first hour, a nice balance had been found and everyone was getting along until Axel tried to heat up a bottle by summoning fire in his hand and subsequently scalded his wrist while testing results, as well as putting the idea of fire into Ripan's head. Sora had been right. Ripan was very smart and liked to try and mimic what the big people did. The living room couch suffered.

The next hurdles were The Incident of the Second Bottle Being Too Cold, The Great Despair of not Being Able to Have Both Bottle and Pacifier at the Same Time, Bottle Gone Too Quick, The Pukening, Second Washing of the Pacifier and Trial of Separation Anxiety, The Changing of the Onesies with Ripan Super Spleen Kicking Action, and The Pukening Part Two: Roxas's Shirt Looks Absorbent.

It was all minor stuff. Normal stuff. Expected, other than perhaps setting fire to the couch.

The real trouble didn't begin until the pacifier was lost.

[asherranceoftheheart]

A Fateful Encounter

Character/s: Chase Brody, Cat!Antisepticeye, Brief Appearance of Henrik Von Schneeplestein Warning/s: Soft!Anti, VERY brief mention of animal cruelty (it’s just one short paragraph) Genre/s: Fluff (Archive of Our Own Edition) Note: Shoutout to @beerecordings for giving me the inspiration and prompt to write this little monster

The very first time Chase met his little king, he could’ve sworn it had been fate.

It had been admittedly a shitty day for him. His ex-wife didn’t want to talk to him or give him time with their kids unless he pulled his shit together. He was having a hard time managing his and Jack’s channel after Jack fell into a coma after an accident. The other’s disappointment in him for drinking again yesterday got too suffocating so he just had to go out and get some fresh air.

But life seemed to be against him enjoying anything and it was suddenly raining even though the weather forecast didn’t say anything about rain coming soon so he didn’t bother bringing an umbrella. Thankfully he was wearing a hoodie jacket so even though he’s going to be soaked when he gets home, he’ll have something over his head at least.

He had been walking back home when he passed by a dark alleyway that had him pausing.

Chase looked into the path as he strained his ears through the sounds of rain for the thing that caught his attention.

...ew… Meow!

There!

He jogged deeper into the alley and looked around until his eyes caught sight of the wet, broken box that was shaking as if something was trying to get it off. He crouched over the thing and carefully peeled off the top and flinched at the sharp scent of copper.

HISS!

There was a pair of green cat eyes glaring venomously at him. There was a black cat with scraggly fur weakly squirming within the box. Chase inhaled sharply when he saw the bleeding cut on the cat’s throat that was staining the box’s floor crimson. What kind of sick fuck—!

“I can’t leave you here,” Chase said out loud, his heart was already made up. “I just can’t.”

His mind worked quickly as he took off his jacket and carefully placed it under the hissing cat’s body. The poor thing lost so much blood that it couldn’t even do anything against him save for hissing and snarling threateningly. He shushed it gently, idly patting the cat on his side as a comfort before making a victorious sound when he could finally bundle the jacket around the weakly squirming cat. He swaddled the now quiet cat who was staring at him with wary eyes.

Chase stood up, carrying the cat in his arms as he rushed out of the alleyway.

“Stay strong, kitty! I promise you’ll be alright!”

 0-0-0-0-0-0

“Mister Brody?” Chase looked up from his phone and saw one of the vet nurses standing in front of him. “Doctor Shane would like to see you now.”

“Is it okay?” He anxiously asked the lady who smiled kindly at him as he stood up from his seat.

“He is alright now. The doctor can tell you more when you meet him.” Chase gave the nurse his thanks and followed the directions she gave him to the office of the doctor.

He stood in front of the room with the name ‘Dr. Shane Walker’ and gave the door a polite knock. Chase heard a muffled ‘Come in’ from inside the room and turned the doorknob before pushing it open.

The cat was sleeping on a cat bed, warmly cuddled up to a cat blanket. His neck was wrapped with a roll of bandage and he has one of those cones around his neck to keep him from moving it.

Chase approached the cat and couldn’t help but scratch the spot behind one of his ears and smiled when he started making an oddly scratchy rumbly purr.

“That one put up quite a fight before he went down with a sedative,” the vet sighed as he cleaned his tools in the nearby sink. “Thankfully, we have a matching blood bank for the transfusion and you managed to get him here right in the nick of the time. If it had been any later, I fear he would’ve lost too much blood.”

He was thankful too that there was a nearby open veterinary clinic from where he found the injured cat. He was just glad that he didn’t fuck this up for the poor thing.

“So what’s the verdict, Doc?” Chase asked the vet who scratched his chin in thought.

“Well… I’m keeping an eye on the infections from the cuts that he suffered, especially the one on his throat. It miraculously didn’t sever his vocal chords but it was certainly damaged. It will heal but he will have a croaky voice for the rest of his life. He’s really skinny so a proper diet will also be needed. You said you found him in an alleyway nearby?” Chase nodded at the question and the vet continued, “If I may ask… do you intend to adopt him?”

Chase flinched and looked at Dr. Shane with wide eyes. He did not expect to be put into this situation and the doctor must have noticed it because he took pity on him.

“It’s a big responsibility to adopt someone with a heavy past like him so I can understand if you don’t want to,” Shane smiled at the stunned man who finally recovered his voice.

He raised his hand and waved it back and forth in a pacifying manner.

“W-Wait, I didn’t mean to say no—I mean, I don’t know I’ve just got a lot going on and I don’t think I’d be a great, attentive owne—” Chase was cut off by the feeling of something soft rubbing against his fingers. He looked down and held his breath in when the cat was unconsciously rubbing its head against his hand. “Oh.”

Shane hid a smile at the lovestruck gleam that glazed over the man’s eyes. While there was still uncertainty and doubt in the young man’s body language, there’s no doubting the softness and melting of his heart that was going on right now. He liked to think that he was a great judge of character. Being around animals for nearly 24/7 can teach someone how to pick up the cues that animals could read on a person’s personality. Mister Brody seems to be going through a lot with the weary slump of his shoulders and the dark bags under his eyes. Shane couldn’t help but think that the kind man would be a great fit for his new sharp patient.

“You could come and visit him everyday until he gets better since you’re paying for everything after all,” Shane offered a chance for the man who was now scratching the sleeping cat’s head once more. “It would help you get to know each other and give you some time to think it over.”

“... Yeah… Yeah, that’d be great,” Chase gave the older man a small smile. “Thanks doc.”

“No problem. It’s my job to help my little patients after all.”

0-0-0-0-0-0

Tired but curious blue eyes stared into narrowed green ones as the duo held an intense staring contest with each other. Chase slowly blinked and hid a smile when the black cat hissed at him and snobbily turned his back at the man, a wordless ‘Fuck off’ if it ever meant anything.

It was already a massive improvement compared to the snarls and attempts of clawing his face off that was in the beginning. Chase didn’t know why but he felt like he had to keep being more patient to get this cat’s trust.

He already got a lot of bandages on his hand from when he was far too slow in drawing back when the cat reared up to attack him. But with the guidance of the vet and the nurses, he was slowly able to come nearer the injured furry void. He could sit a few inches close to the cat now even if he’d turn his butt up at him and ignored him. Doctor Shane said that it was a sign that the cat was beginning to lower his guard now that he knew that regardless of how much he lashed out, Chase would still patiently wait for him to come close of his own will.

“Are you going to adopt him? I don’t want to pressure you but… that one’s starting to get to know you and it might just break his trust if you just left him…” Shane asked Chase while he watched the man sit beside the black cat who was unconsciously coming closer against his body heat.

It was a painful chore to get the cat inside a cat carrier so they just left him his own little space to roam around in. Thankfully, he was a rather disciplined cat so long as you don’t attempt to put him in an enclosed space or touch him far too long. They had to learn how to slowly lure him into his temporary space with food and a bunch of toys.

“I— Yeah, I think I want to,” Chase admitted as he looked down at the black cat who was now a bit more relaxed despite his close proximity. He still doesn’t dare to touch that shiny fur. “I keep thinking about him when I get home and I asked one of my doctor friends if it’d be a good idea…”

He had pulled Henrik away from the others after he gained the idea of adopting the cat engraved into his mind. He knew that he was already considering it since he kept wondering how it would feel to have that black bundle of fur roaming around his house, and already worrying his head off just like he does with his kids if the cat was doing fine. It was why he kept visiting every single day to the point that the cat would be staring right at the door knowing just when he would arrive.

“Are you sure you are ready for that kind of responsibility?” Henrik asked Chase, an intent gaze on his face.

The doctor has to admit that Chase was looking better than he had been a week ago. Most of the black bags under his eyes were mostly gone since he was sleeping at a more reasonable time so that he could wake up early and be at the vet’s office right in schedule. Since he was interacting with people, Chase found the energy to clean himself up and look a little bit more alert than before.

“A pet is a big responsibility and you cannot just pass it off when you are experiencing a depressive episode. We could help you but I cannot in good mind advise you to keep one if you are just going to depend on us to fully take care of it.” The doctor cautioned the other man, he wanted to know if Chase truly wanted this.

“I know, Hen. I understand but… There’s just something different about that cat and I feel like he needs me like I need him and if I left him behind how would I be any better than the sick bastards that hurt him?” Chase rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. “You said that it would be good for me to have a routine that I should follow and taking care of a cat would make me have one since I have to keep to a strict feeding schedule since that one needs a bunch of medicine that’s dependent on schedule. I just…”

Henrik huffed, the sharp glint in his eyes softening at his friend’s self-frustration. Seriously… Chase is sometimes just too hard on himself.

He patted Chase’s back and smiled at the man when he looked back at him.

“I think you have already made up your mind, my friend.” Henrik teased.

Chase snorted.

“You don’t get it Schneep… Even though he’s cranky and almost always angry, that little goblin’s far too cute for me to not adopt…”

“He’s not gonna be an easy one to care for,” Doctor Shane pointed out.

Chase looked down at the cat who was now pressed against his side and looking up at him with those far too intelligent for a normal cat’s green eyes. He smiled, his eyes brightening up like sunshine in a way it hasn’t been lit up for a long time.

“That makes two of us.” He chuckled.

A hand gently reached out to scratch the cat’s head. The cat only relaxed under his hand and went back to his nap.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Chase pushed open the door to his house and entered into the main hallway. He closed the door behind him and carefully placed the cat carrier down to the floor.

“Hey little guy, we’re home.” Chase smiled at the pair of green eyes that were watching him from within the carrier.

He unlatched the lock on the cage’s gate and opened it up. A black paw cautiously tapped out into the strange, new territory with new sounds and smells. Chase sat down on the floor as he waited for the cat to slowly come out until he was standing right in front of him. He held out a hand for the suspicious cat who sniffed it before he began rubbing his head against his hand as a demand for a petting session. 

The man began scratching the spot behind the cat’s ears with a fond smile as he began to purr loudly in that scratchy voice of his.

“Welcome home… Anti.”

 0-0-0-0-0-0

Chase pleasantly woke up from the happy dreams of Anti’s adoption by the feeling of something heavy perching on top of his lungs. He blearily opened his eyes to be met by an extremely close up view of the cat’s sniffing nose.

“Mrowr!” Anti screamed in his face.

He wheezed and groaned even as he reached up to pet the cat’s entire body.

“Good morning to you too, Your Majesty.” Chase deadpanned, giving his smug cat an unimpressed look when he started kneading his claws into his chest in a not so silent demand for him to hurry up and feed him. “I guess it’s time for your royal breakfast and that’s why you have to wake up your poor pitiful servant.”

Anti meowed and stretched himself out on his body before rubbing his head under his chin.

“Yeah, yeah… Get off you cute acting little bastard,” Chase could only ever say that with complete fondness for the brat.

As he forced himself out of his bed to feed the demanding King’s orders, Chase thought that if his and Anti’s meetings were already written in Fate’s book, he would find it in himself to thank whatever god was listening to him up there. Since after all… No matter how bratty and feral his little King was, he was the main reason why he could honestly say now that he was fine and happy.

[tessatechaitea]

Justice League International #7 (1987)

Kevin Maguire not really trying looks an awful lot like John Romita Jr at his best.

Ah! It feels good to be back! Taking a crack at John Romita Jr while he's just sitting there not doing anything particularly wrong. Just going about his business pretending to be a comic book artist! I don't know what John Romita's politics are but I bet he now agrees with Donald Trump on one thing: naming your kid after you is a huge fucking mistake. Was all that previous nonsense poisonous, vile, and toxic? I suppose one could argue the point. But I'd also guess that somebody arguing that point has never seen John Romita Jr's art. Or perhaps they have seen it and like it because they have a terribly underdeveloped sense of aesthetics. Otherwise nobody would argue with me at all! They'd just read the previous poisonous, vile, toxic nonsense and nod their heads in agreement while pausing for a second to snort a line of Adderall. Fine, I'm sorry, JRJR! Obviously you're an artist! Drawing squinty people with block heads and weird noses holding geometric guns without a single curve on them absolutely falls under the definition of art! Although I draw the line at accepting that Rob Liefeld is an artist. That's a bridge too far! What the fuck does that even mean, "a bridge too far"? It must be a term bombers in WWII used, right? "What the fuck do you mean, carpet bomb Dresden?! If we fly past the Geralthauskopfplatz Bridge, we're definitely getting scrawked by anti-aircraft flak, you bingehart!" Did that sound like an authentic American bomber pilot from the 40s? It's not like Catch-22 is my favorite book or something. Wait. Catch-22 is my favorite book. I guess I'm just no good at written impressions. I assure you it sounds exactly what you'd expect from an American pilot in the Forties if you heard me do the impression live. Also, this is probably the last month of my life where I'll be able to say, "Catch-22 is my favorite book." Because I'm over 500 pages into Gravity's Rainbow and it's just as fucking amazing as everybody who has pretended to read it says it is. This issue begins with Guy Gardner regaining consciousness after having been violently assaulted by his employer.

Why was the mouse glowing green?!

In my memory, Guy Gardner's change from dickhole to sweetest guy on the team came after Batman punched his lights out. But apparently that isn't the case. It's possible this new whack on the head is the cause or maybe it's something a bit later. I bet an editorial mandate came down which said they couldn't have Guy suffer serious head trauma from Batman punching him. So they had to add this new scene where Guy basically gives himself the head trauma that results in a catastrophic change in personality. The Justice League didn't quite finish destroying The Gray Man last issue so that story gets resolved pretty quickly this issue. Doctor Fate transported him to the Realms of Order where a big blob of Order disintegrates him. Which is what he ultimately wanted. It's what we all ultimately want. It's just you don't know that you want it until you've lived long enough for all the wonder to be bled out of life. That's why he's the Gray Man! Some people think life's too short but at 49, I'm beginning to suspect that it's way too fucking long.

This comic book passes the Reverse Bechdel Test: "Any story that has only one woman in it and every scene she's in, she's treated like a sexual object."

With The Gray Man out of the way, it's time to get to the important part of the story: turning the Justice League of America into Justice League International! I wonder how many people this change pissed off in the 80s? Fucking globalist woke elite bubble bullshit! People talk in derogatory terms about the coastal bubbles but they absolutely shouldn't. I won't disagree that I grew up in a totally different environment in the San Francisco Bay Area than people who grew up in the Midwest. A bubble? Sure. But it was a fucking good thing. I was recently showing the Non-Certified Spouse some of the station breaks from local stations in the late 70s and early 80s out of San Francisco and she was amazed at the representative shorts these stations presented, especially KTVU's "Bits and Pieces." Sure, there were the ones about ethics and morality humorously presented with a horse and bulldog puppet. But there were also the ones that showed different ethnicities and their lives, often ending with "I'm proud to be a Chinese American!" or "I'm proud to be a Black American!" The one about Japanese Americans even mentioned how Japanese families were put in interment camps during World War II. One was about Italian Americans and instead of Italian history, it just showed Italian art and various activities of people in the Italian community. One of the Japanese American shorts just had a Japanese American kid having to explain how he was tired of answering questions about being Japanese in America because he was fourth generation and just American as anybody else. But I guess that kind of commie pinko hogwash is why I'm a big fat America hating socialist! As I was saying before my politics politely interrupted (my politics interrupting impolitely would look like this: Trump voters should be forced to shit in their own mouths for all eternity), the main thrust of this story is to set up Justice League International. Judging by the cover, that means hiring some guy with a bucket on his head from Russia and Captain Atom, another white American male.

Ah yes! The introduction of the best character of the series: Big Barda!

Big Barda might not be on the team but at least there's another female character. Sure, Doctor Light was sort of on the team for three pages. And pretty soon, Fire and Ice will join. But it's mostly just been poor Black Canary having to put up with Booster and Blue Beetle's jokes about banging her. Max and J'onn discuss the United Nations possibly backing the Justice League while Superman talks respectfully with President Reagan. What a mistake! The biggest do-gooder on the planet normalizing fucking Ronald Reagan! He should be scolding him with a liberal smattering of Kryptonian tsk-tsks! That's when a Kryptonian gives you a little burst of heat vision every time you deny the AIDS crisis or invoke the spectre of Welfare Queens or destroy the economy by lowering the top marginal tax rates pretending that the money saved will trickle down to everyone instead of fat corporate cats simply keeping all the extra for bonuses and investors. Fuck that guy. I'm so mad now!

Of all the digs they could have taken with Reagan, they poke fun of his dementia?! Christ, Giffen and DeMatteis.

Hal Jordan drops by headquarters to give Guy a good talking-to but Guy doesn't need it because he's suffered a traumatic head injury on top of his brain damage alongside Batman's sucker punch to the face and now he's Mister Sweetbeans. And because he's acting so nice, nobody gives a shit that this is actually a medical emergency. Backing Maxwell Lord is a computer satellite in space. Is it Brother Eye already?! Are they already working together in 1987?! Or is it just some alien gizmo from the Millennium bullshit coming up? I don't remember! Heck, this Maxwell Lord might even be a Manhunter! Anyway, the satellite begins destroying shit on Earth with a giant heat beam. The Justice League, having nearly nobody who can do anything about it, doesn't call Superman to fix the problem. Instead, they decide to spend precious hours borrowing a space shuttle from STAR Labs to launch them into space to battle the space station. Also, they leave Guy Gardner back at headquarters on monitor duty. Because who needs the guy with experience battling in space with a ring that can protect every other member of the League while in space? Also the ring is the greatest weapon in the universe. So, you know, sideline that guy, right?

It's possible this was in the era where Superman couldn't survive in space either, really. But then that's even more incentive to get fucking Guy Gardner up there with them!

The Justice League manages to stop the satellite's destruction but mostly only because it was a huge set-up so every nation could see them save the world. Everybody wants them defending the planet now so the United Nations agrees to back them with one condition: two new members, one to pacify the U.S. and one to pacify the U.S.S.R.

I've read a lot of ridiculous things in comic books but Rocket Red's power levels being nearly equal to Captain Atom's might be the most ridiculous.

I love how Captain Atom's power level is 9+ but Rocket Red's power level is 8.43 instead of 8+. I guess the accuracy of whatever system they're using breaks down over 9. Captain Marvel quits the team and Batman steps down as leader so J'onn can lead. And that's about it, I guess! The issue ends with some kind of flim-flam about how its the 80s and we've become a global world and boundaries just don't work anymore and superheroes are cool as shit. I guess it's inspirational or something. There's still just one woman on the team though. Justice League International #7 Rating: B. Seven issues in and the Justice League has defeated two villains who weren't actual threats to anybody. They were just scams to get the Justice League some press. They also beat up and killed an old guy who was just frustrated with the boredom that came with the immortality the Lords of Order forced on him. So all in all, they're nearly as terrible as the New Titans who practically only ever battled relatives while putting the residents of New York City in danger every time.

[realtacuardach]

Just a Tool

“He did not belong in the sunshine. He had been foolish to think he ever could.” 

The first oneshot I ever wrote for this fandom, the result of watching the Tanbarun/Claw of the Sea arc over and over again. Because Obi is delightful, and angst is delightful - so the two together are doubly delightful!

~~~

He forced the thought of the rest reuniting above him away as he glared down at the pirates they had finally managed to subdue. Tried not to think of the Master and Miss embracing each other while Mitsuhide and Miss Kiki looked on benevolently, all made resplendent in the bright seaside sunshine. He had no right to think of such things, his mind should be focused on his task here in the dark crevasses below.

He did not belong in the sunshine. He had been foolish to think that he ever could.

…

He’d known that he was simply a tool from his earliest memory, when he’d been caught sneaking into a dark, crowded alley to sneak some food from a cluster of thugs. He had been too young and dumb and hungry to be afraid of the glinting blades, scarred knuckles, and hulking statures crowding the alleyway. His trek into the den had earned him a blade at his throat, a cuff to the back of his head, and an offer he couldn’t refuse to sneak into the crevasses their large bodies couldn’t reach to steal from their quarry.

“Told you we couldn’t pass a tool like this up,” the most boisterous of the group said, slapping him on the back and almost sending him into the snow.

He stayed with them until he grew too much to fit into any convenient crevasses, and the slightly flea-bitten baby-fat cuteness that could beguile the gullible became lean whipcord and jutting joints. He woke up one day to find the fires cold, half his coins and squirreled-away food gone, and the leader’s second-worst dagger sticking into the wall beside his head. He took the coins, the dagger, and the hunger before moving on.

As time passed, he acquired more skills to become an even more finely honed tool. He learned to fight like a wolf and climb like a cat. He learned to use his face to threaten or to charm into submission. He learned to smile through searing pain, to shrug off back stabbings and betrayal.

He learned not to get attached.

He was just a tool. He shouldn’t have a heart.

After a while, it became easier to go solo rather than run in a pack, although he didn’t shy away from anything as long as the coin was good enough. Personally, he’d prefer something requiring at least a little adrenaline, but even doing the most boring jobs now and again was better than starving. So, scaring off a little commoner from fraternizing with a prince for reasons so stupid that only a noble could come up with them - well, it was dull, but a body didn’t mind where its bread came from.

He made a mistake, and got attached.

...

“You’ve earned my trust.”

It was a strange thing to hear, and a stranger thing to possess. An assassin’s trust only went as far as his closest weapon, and that was to trust that the weapon would make quick work of any backstabbers. To be trusted, trusted openly, with a smile and open blue eyes and an outstretched arm was absurd. But he had it and, despite himself, wanted to keep it beyond what his job required.

Wanted to keep the camaraderie and snarking with the two knights he’d managed to win over. Wanted to keep the grins and flustered expressions on the Master’s face when teasing him about Miss. Wanted to keep her sparkling eyes and constant warmth and acceptance. He wanted more than a former assassin, a tool, could ever need.

Or deserve.

He let himself go above his station. And then he ruined everything.

Some knight he had turned out to be. He had one job, to keep her safe, and he failed. Even as he blinked back into painful wakefulness to feel the pulsing dull ache at the back of his neck reverberate through his skull with three worried voices clamoring after him, he was haunted. Haunted by the sight of those fearful green eyes and the fading cries of his name as he dulled into unconsciousness. She had trusted him, and he let her down. Master trusted him, and he let him down. Miss Kiki and Mitsuhide trusted him, and he had failed them. He didn’t deserve their trust. He didn’t deserve anything.

He wasn’t a knight. He wasn’t a man. He was just a tool, and apparently a faulty one.

It was time he remembered that.

Even as he tried to cheer up the kids and determine what had already been done, he started slipping into his old self. Once the doctor returned, he hid behind a mask of fatigue and yawned before requesting to be left alone for the night to rest. She quickly agreed, most likely pacified by the thought of someone following her instructions and left him to his musings in the darkness.

His mind began laying plans even as he shed his bodyguard regalia (which he didn’t deserve to wear anyway) and into far more appropriate clothing. It was like old times, with one difference - before launching out of the window to the hunt outside, he left a note behind for the rest to follow.

Night faded into dusk and then into morning. Everything dissolved into the wind whipping past his face, the leaves and bark sliding beneath his fingers, and the feeling of the earth against the relentlessness of his feet. It was a relief in a way to fall into familiar routines, but it was poisoned by the guilt pulsing through his veins and the memories of her distressed shouts ringing in his ears. He could make his eyes like flint, his blows like steel, and his voice like iron, but he couldn't make his heart stone, not anymore. It was too late.

When Master finally caught up with them, his traitorous heart both leapt with relief and sank with self-disgust. He bowed low to the ground, his muscles tensing and straining against his natural inclination to keep from being so exposed to another’s mercy. He forced his instincts into submission, knowing whatever the prince did was only what he deserved. The blow was expected, the apology was not. He knew that Master was a good man, but even the best men could be driven by rage - especially towards someone who had lost their most precious person. But he got no censure from anymore, despite it all being his fault.

It seemed like he’d have to atone on his own, once the Miss was safe and with the people she loved.

And when she was, he took care to give her space to reunite with them, contenting himself with the fisticuffs and blood and darkness he was accustomed to.

He had no place with them. He didn’t deserve it.

…

He had resolved himself to remember his place now that she was safe. He was a tool, and at this point it was futile to imagine that he was anything else. He was a shadow, a lethal slash of blades and daggers, a steely gaze. He was nothing more than that. He would continue to serve as sentry, as steel, as sinew, but he couldn’t let himself get attached. He couldn’t allow himself that luxury.

But still, he couldn’t leave entirely - they had worked their way into his heart, and the thought of never seeing them again sickened him. So stepping into the shadows and staying there, keeping them protected from a distance, would be the best he could do. He kept his eyes like flint and face like stone, becoming everything hard and unfeeling like the tool he was.

That didn’t stop his heart from throbbing painfully when he noticed Shira-Miss trying to catch his eye as he rode past her and Mitsuhide (who probably would have taken better care of her, why hadn’t he left the original plans well enough alone). He might as well separate into his new role now - quick and clean, while she had plenty of people around to love her.

Not that she would ever be around any other people, he thought with an internal snort of laughter that soon felt sour. She was too easy to love.

…

The bustle of the village of the Lions filled the crisp mountain air. The air, bringing the scent of the trees and the sound of the village, helped ground him a little as he perched in a nearby tree, keeping watch. There was something calming about being in a tree, being above all the things weighing one down, with only the sun and breeze able to reach you.

It was a comfort he didn’t deserve, but he welcomed it. He had known it was too good to last. He was only as good as he was useful, and he had failed utterly. As a bodyguard, as a line of defense, as a friend, as a man, he had failed everyone. Failed her.

It would be better for them all if he stayed in the shadows and was useful. He wasn’t worthy of anything else.

Still, he’d had a taste of having friends, of being part of a family, of belonging. It was hard to shut that out, even though he knew it was for the best.

The perimeter was safe for the moment, and he felt himself sag back into the tree as the last dregs of adrenaline drained completely from his system, and he became loose and languid as a cat. He let his eyes slide shut, feeling the bark grind into his back as the wind cooled his face, and let the memories flood over him. Her voice calling out, Master leading the charge, Mitsuhide and Miss Kiki leaping into the battle, the mountain monkey mocking him…

The blackness sweeping over him as he lay on the floor, useless.

He gritted his teeth against the bitterness and shuddered. Better to stay unattached. If it hurts, it’s to be expected for giving in.

But even as he stated the obvious to himself, he could hear the phantom calls of his mistress.

The calls coming closer and closer…

His eyes popped open. No, they should be sounding further away.

“Obi!”

He looked over to see her running up the hill, calling his name and looking around. His heart leapt into his throat, but he swallowed it down and steeled himself. It would get no easier if he put it off. Better to set the limits now, let her place her faith and friendship in a more worthy person.

“Obi?” She was starting to sound desperate and was right beneath him. Against his better judgment, he flipped over the branch he was sitting on and looked down at her as he dangled by his arms.

He never could ignore her call.

And so he let go.