#I told you no mcd
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I want out…
Soukoku (Dazai x Chuuya) - alternate Beast AU
Tags: slight angst with a happy ending, NO MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH (I promise), fluff, cannon typical suicidal ideation from Dazai, nothing more graphic than the cannon, Dazai and Chuuya being stupidly in love
Content Warnings: slight gore, suicidal ideation, typical Dazai CWs,
A little skk mini fic, while I gain the mental capacity to update my actual fics
Dazai is tired.
Every morning he wakes up. Goes to a meeting. The meeting is boring. Someone probably died. Or supplies aren’t getting past law enforcement. Or someone is mad at him. He can’t really bring himself to himself to care.
No one has noticed this shift in his attitude, to them the boss has always been a cold piece of shit with no emotion. “The demon prodigy is as cold as ice” he hears whispers in the halls of the Port Mafia building. He doesn’t bother to try and change his way, they are mostly correct.
Mostly…
Osamu sighs as he opens the door to his penthouse suite. He would have rather just slept in his office if it wasn’t for a certain … someone.
“Osamu you’re fucking late!” A familiar voice calls from the kitchen. He sighs as the cold mask he is so tired of falls off in the comfort of the warm inviting suite.
Most of the Mafia assumes that a man like him lives in a dark cold flat. That he only sleeps and eats there. Little do they know that the lively ginger that remains at his side most days lives there too, brining his noise and color.
A flurry of reds envelops him as he sheds his coat and tight suite shirt. The smell of spice and wine takes over his senses as he melts into Chuuya’s arms.
“Long day, huh” his partner only slightly mocks him as he leads the exhausted man into the kitchen.
“I don’t know how you’re not, Chuu” osamu sighs as he collapses onto a stool to watch his love cook. Long ago Chuuya had taken on the job of cooking for the both of them. One, so Dazai would eat and two, so he wouldn’t burn down their place. Now he was cooking up some ramen for the two of them.
“I’m not running the whole operation, I just gotta follow orders” Chuuya winks at his boss as he serves up the food.
“We both know how much you *love* following orders” Osamu smirks at his partner as the redhead laughs deeply.
Later as they lay in bed, limbs tangled together, Osamu sighs deeply and quietly states,
“I want out, Chuu”
It wasn’t a question, just a soft firm statement shared between lovers.
“You sure?” The sleepy response came from the redhead.
“Absolutely”
“Tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow.”
Chuuya pulled him closer and softly kissed his hair, knowing he wouldn’t be able to do that for a long time.
Atsushi walked into his Boss’ office for the early morning meeting they had scheduled. The office was empty but Atsushi assumed the man would be in soon enough. After a few minutes without the dark haired man arriving he noticed a letter on the desk with his name scrawled on the front.
Atsushi,
I’m sorry it had to happen like this, you know how the mafia is about deserters. Hirotsu will take over in my stead and Kouyou and you will be his seconds.
You’ll do great.
The weretiger looked terrified at his partner who was standing quietly behind him. A commotion drew their attention to the large windows in time to see a flash of black and red falling.
Reaching the ground floor they were in time to hear the rumble of gravity breaking concrete. This only confirmed the suspicions of the two. As they walked out the front doors of the Mori Corp. they were just in time to see the red headed exectutive collapse the sidewalk.
It had been a long suspicion that the boss and his prized executive had a relationship more intimate than the partners they claims to be, though no one dared voice those rumors. Both members of Double Black were ruthless and violent if provoked. Though in most eyes the display in front of their eyes confirmed how close the duo was.
Red markings creep onto Chuuyas skin as he feels the weight of gravity bend to his will. The concrete he stands on cracks and buckles. Rebar screeches and snaps as immeasurable stress is placed upon it. His eyes blur as he sees the body beneath him, laying much too still.
The body is mangled and bloody, its dark coat crumpled as it hit the pavement. But what hit Chuuya the hardest was the scarf. The blood red scarf that Chuuya has given Dazai so many years ago.
It was a cold night when Chuuya had gotten a call from his new partner to meet on the roof of the skyscraper the Mafia called home.
On that rooftop the two of them had made a pact to remain loyal to eachother, above all else.
Dazai had given him the leather choker that still lay on his neck. A “collar for my faithful dog” the brunette had said. And despite chuuyas chagrin he had been a faithful dog to Dazai since that day. Not that Osamu had made him do anything he would have protested (much) to.
In return Chuuya had given him a blood red scarf that adorned his bandaged neck since that day. “A reminder of your job” Chuuya had said bitterly, referring to Corruption. But since that day Osamu had always been there to bring him back.
The concrete finally collapsed and Chuuya floated down with the rubble. Each progressive story of the underground the gravity punched through. Corruption had fully taken over Chuuyas body and there was no stopping it…not anymore.
He knew what people would say, the rumors he had confirmed by this but he didn’t care anymore. There was no point to continue like this, without him there.
His consciousness fell away until there was only red, Arahabiki fully taking over his mind and body until Chuuya was shut in a little corner.
He sat in an empty room, looking through his own eyes and watching the chaos that the god inside him was inflicting on the world. It appeared Arahabiki wanted to take both him and the body beneath them to a deep grave where no one would find them.
We must be deep at this point
I wonder how much father we need to go
Arahabiki will find him
The windows closed and the room fell dark around him. Chuuya laid down and closed his eyes, simply waiting.
And waiting…
And waiting…
And finally a soft blue light enveloped the room. It was a comforting, familiar light. He had felt it many times before… and at this point it felt like home.
Chuuya opened his eyes, his real eyes, and saw a pair of bright brown eyes waiting for him. A hand held his cheek tenderly.
“Did you have a fun time princess” Osamu’s mocking tone flowed into his ears.
“You asshole, you put your scarf on the body” Chuuyas bit back, his voice rasping.
“I thought it would sell it more” Osamu had now picked up Chuuya, who was in no condition to walk, and began to walk towards a tunnel that was poking into the hole they stood in.
“Asshole” came a quiet response from the redhead.
“Sorry Chuu” he whispered back, he knew Chuuya had a much harder role in this to play but he did it beautifully as always.
Chuuya awoke in a soft, clean smelling bed. He stretched, feeling his bones pop as he looked around him.
Dazai sat a few feet away, drinking something and looking out the open door of a shipping container. Beyond him was the vast blue ocean, now a new shade of teal that he knew belonged to the tropics of Oceania.
He stood up and stumbled over to his partner who looked up at him, a happy smile plastered on his face. Chuuya had waited years to see that smile grace his lips again.
“Welcome to our new life, love” Osamu whispered as he pressed a kiss to Chuuya’s lips.
“Thank goodness it worked” Chuuya slumped into his arms, body still exhausted.
“You should have seen the explosion! It was magnificent” Osamu smiled as he wrapped his arms around the redhead. “Could have fooled me that Arahabiki imploded deep underground”
So everything had gone to plan
The mafia would think them dead and they could live out their lives, far away from the violence and destruction.
Just them on an island Dazai had bought years ago and spent days untying it from both their names.
“I think you should go blonde” Chuuya mumbled, combing his fingers through his partners hair
“Only if you go brunette” came the laughing response
#I told you no mcd#sorry if I scared anyone#bsd fanfic#bungou stray dogs fanfics#skk fanfic#soukoku fanfiction#skk fluff#skk angst#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bungou gay dogs#flamie writes#sorry it was angst o clock#soukoku angst#angst with a happy ending
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this is unacceptable
#NEGATIVE DRIP#DRIP PRIVILEGES REVOKED#WHY#i mean the hood is cool but the dress is so boring 😭#and the boots! omg#who told her she looked good#cuz girl you need new friends they do NOT got your back#aphmau#minecraft diaries#aphmau fandom#mcd#minecraft diaries aphmau#aphmau mcyt#mcd aphmau#mcyt#aphblr#aphverse#mystreet#irene#lady irene#irene the matron#divine warriors#when angels fall
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opinions on Aaron
I’m giving you an answer you won’t understand because I know what you’re doing, you villain /j
Fan-rewritten Aaron > MCD Aaron > Mystreet Aaron
I know your tactics
(Disclaimer: if you like Aaron then no hard feelings, i respect all opinions! I thought he had some good moments in MCD and his story was sometimes interesting!)
#i should never have told you about the block men /j#minecraft diaries#aphmau minecraft diaries#aphmau mcd#minecraft diaries rewrite#aphmau mystreet#aphmau aaron#aaron lycan#mystreet aaron#mcd aaron#i don’t support aphmau#Marsbarzworld
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Every appearance of the red-haired menace that is early Laurence forces me to sit here and stew upon how I will fix his introduction in the rewrite. As a coping mechanism. Unfortunately since I can't remember the parts where his character isn't just harassment so I can't cook with the themes the way I'd like to. Like the way he calls Aph "my love" after she very explicitly in the text of the game tells him not to do that... bad vibes. I think I could rock with his character if he'd done the same sort of approach in hitting on Aphmau as heavily, but the moment she lays down an actual boundary, he backs way the hell off. I could even fuck with her trying to be subtle about the boundary and him not getting it and continuing to make her uncomfortable before she snaps at him and he apologizes, saying that he truly didn't mean anything by it, and he respects the boundary she lays like his life depends on it from then on out. It would create some immediate complexity in his need for explicit communication, and backs up the sort of deeper character hinting they seem to try to do when he's talking about Castor and Cadenza, this idea that he deeply cares, if being a bit pushy on accident. It would also make a good detail fueling the conflicts later on with the love triangle that can sort of prevent Laurence from looking like TOO much of a dickhead (him being unaware or misinterpreting situations, and the delicate nature of it making him uncomfortable asking questions, is a compelling reason to see somebody hurting his friends' feelings, and makes him significantly more sympathetic, opening him up for feelings of remorse and guilt).
#mcd#minecraft diaries#jeremiahs mcd notes#laurence mcd#i want autisic/adhd king laurence and im not even remotely joking#i think it would add a lot to his character to give him those struggles#if i'm recalling his character right anyways#i am still very early in the series#But i do recall vaguely there being conflicts where I was absolutely not on his side#and i had a very strong sense of justice as a kid so i imagine that i'm not making that up#but also its been 8 years so who knows#but i think he can still very much get off on the wrong foot with aph and it can still be good#i think honestly having him get off on the wrong foot and then work to make it up to her would be good as hell#bc it's a situation in which she sees him be willing to work on himself without much prompting#(aka as soon as he's told there's an issue he starts to work on it and she doesn't have to ask)#and she goes oh actually. you know what. maybe hes not a dick.#and she starts to be more comfortable around him over time#It might create this dynamic where it feels like he's always trying to catch up to her level#Always apologizing always being the wrong one#and then eventually when she does something that he can't just smile and bear#(as all friends hurt each other on accident one time or another#it is unavoidable we are but human and i believe Laurence would let a lot of things slide bc he knows how much she's had to forgive him for#And I can see as well it not going over well bc aphmau is not used to the idea of being the wrong one#and she had a reason for what she did and she gets defensive#Causing an uncomfortable moment of tension#I also think that there could be a good spot where Garroth is being more controlling as to try to protect aph and she is bothered by it#feeling in that moment very robbed of control and like he's not listening to her#and then here's laurence#who is willing to build himself anew brick by brick with her input#Like this is how I would overthink it if I wanted a true love triangle conflict introduced to the plot here
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would it be stupid to apply as a baker at a bakery where I probably can’t eat anything since I don’t consume dairy products?
#like when my sister worked at mcd’s she told me how she had a coworker who was vegetarian/vegan (don’t remember which)#But there’s a big difference between international chain fast food place and relatively small local shop ykno#The job posting also says they’ll train you but so did Panera and I still got declined when I applied there#So my backup is this overnight inbound at target posting I saw#Man why is is so hard to find a job every one that I think I could do has required experience (I have none)#Any every one that’s like open to anybody is like. Overwhelming and I freeze up just reading the responsibilities
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tried one of those non-alcoholic fruity seltzer drink recipes and having vivid sensory flashbacks to the summer i nearly died of whooping cough, when the only way my mom could get me to choke down my medicine was to mix it into fruity seltzer. now i think i'm going to puke. guess i put this in the same category as sherbet, which was the OTHER thing my mom would mix my medicine into so i wouldn't die and the OTHER thing i haven't been able to eat since without feeling like i was going to puke.
#'they wanted to put you in the hospital but i wouldn't let them because i wanted you to die at home.'#<- literally what my mom told me years later when i asked about that blurry period of my life#vaccinate your kids#vaccinate your fucking kids.#(i was allergic to the pertussis vaccine and caught it from kids at a mcd's playplace who went to an anti-vax private school)
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There was no reason to make Dante a cheater PERIOD
It’s like jesson looked at the relationship/situation between nana, Dante, and Nicole, threw all the nuance out the window and just said “haha Dante is a cheater because funny” HUH???? Just because you can doesn’t mean you should c’mon now. it’s literally so out of character for him they might as well have made a new character
Dante needs to be saved from these writers fr fr
It just feels like they had no idea how to integrate some of the characters from MCD to MyStreet while the characters still being loyal to their MCD counterparts to an extent. I understand why Zane is Normal and I honestly prefer it that way, because he still feels like Zane with a brooding personality and everything. But Dante, and even Katelyn, just feel... Off. On Dante's end. it feels like a character they didn't want to write anymore, he became a side character in the second season of MCD and basically got kicked out of the main crew because he now serves to Levin (Which, once again, shows INTENSE loyalty). Then in MyStreet, he became some sort of cheater who flirts with everyone, making his entire character comedic relief. Then with Katelyn, her anger became one of her main traits when that's not all she is in MCD. I haven't watched much of MyStreet but it feels like most of her qualities are that she's angry and easily embarrassed, which are only TWO of her SEVERAL traits. This is the same Katelyn who had so many feelings towards Jeffory and his death, the same Katelyn who snooped in Nicole's diary, the same Katelyn who gave Aphmau armor for her guards when they were still technically on opposing sides. Yes, she has a bit of an anger problem, but I don't really see that ever in play with Laurance in MyStreet? Then again, it's Laurance and I don't think Jesson knows what they're doing with him anymore either. It just feels like something got lost in translation, some of the characters were honestly able to have this switch over and still be loyal to their MCD selves (Like Travis or KC, dare I say), while others were just bastardized. I have! Feelings! Also the funniest part is that, considering how they handle paralleling situations in MyStreet vs. MCD makes me realize how much of MCD's depth might've been an accident. That or they actually COULD write at one point and decided to just rework the characters which is....................a choice.
#mcd#minecraft diaries#mystreet#minecraft mystreet#mcd katelyn#katelyn the firefist#katelyn mcd#katelyn mystreet#mcd dante#dante mcd#dante mystreet#I told you guys I'd talk about Katelyn#aphblr#aphmau
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Shout out to the folks at work the other day that enabled/encouraged me to go on a lil infodump about being transgender and who had genuine questions and listened to my answers. Obviously it's not something queer folks should be expected to do but I love being a point of information for people! I love talking about my experiences and my understandings of philosophies that intersect with that and I think alot of cishet people are maybe uncomfortable asking blunt questions? But so long as they're posed in good faith and with willingness to think about the response, I enjoy answering those weirdly specific things. How else to we dispel the willful ignorance that places of power want to foster towards us? I refuse to he a scapegoat and am deeply grateful to the people that are receptive to experiences outside their own
#young 20 something mum and middle aged mother of 3#both just. asking *questions*#what do hormones do? when/how did you know? why is it so important to you?#these ate genuine questions seeking to understand!! and it means so much to me that i can BE that point of understanding!#adfhsjsj they were talking about periods and the younger woman was like. sorry if this is uncomfortable Jason#and im like. lol dont even worry i still get then too and they suck#older woman was like??? i thought hormones stop them??? im not on hormones yet i just naturally have hormonal imbalance thanks to PCOS#its just...if someone genuinely doesnt understand but is willing to learn? its a conversation worth having.#and i cant know that i always have a positive effect but i ways come back to the vaguely right leaning centrist dude i worked with at mcds#who told me i had changed his view of masculinity and gender as a whole#just by talking and explaining ny experiences#even if he ends up being the only other person I affect..its all worth it.because without me or someone like me he would never have changed#sorry i just get emotional sometimes thinking abkut how...probably the majority of cishets who arent plugged into tumblr#do not experience queer people. hell#im sure there are alot of queer people who havent been exposed to queer theory either#and it means the world to me that i can present and explain that understanding. that willingness to understand.#fuck man if you had told me id be doing this in my early teens id never have thought it possible
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Okay what is going on with Jon and Gael (Garroths Great Grandparents ?) like six kids is a lot and they really did like G names huh. I can imagine dinners must’ve been confusing
Jon and Gael were both only children who wanted their children to have a reliable network of family members in case one or both of them died so they really just went ham on having kids. The reason he gave them all G names was because all of Gael's family had G-names and since all except for one of his aunts and uncles survived to at least adulthood with a G name he thought it was a lucky letter. Though it was DEFINITELY confusing at dinners.
#gawa-gabrie-whatever your name is#stop flicking peas at your brother I've told you for the thousandth time#poor man was dying trying to remember all his kids names#you should ask about his mom and her sibling cause THAT was a disaster generation#Gael was trans masc btw#Also i speak from experience as an only child. I was fine with it when I was little but looking back I kind of wish I had a sibling#minecraft diaries#minecraft diaries headcanons#mcd#mcd lore#minecraft diaries lore#romeave lore#garroth ro'meave
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im so afraid that theres gonna be this over arching motif of hope and you can keep holding on in this fic but then there’ll be this ultimate awful moment where dean tells him it’s okay and that he doesn’t have to keep holding on anymore and that he can finally let go and im just gonna die
#no spoilers please but i am holding on for dear life to the fact that its not tagged mcd and multiple people told me that it ends up okay#this fic is gonna hurt so bad i can tell#jenna reads you can keep holding on
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when the tamamamamamamamamagoro longlegs—
#since it’s still suiyoubi i think it’s fitting to have longleg as the final post of the day#though speaking of longleg… i really really r e a l l y want him to have a rap solo song#i’ve come up with the lousy catchphrase for him too. ‘sick someya beats’#i just think mc someya t. featuring lil’ ko (read: koichiro) has a lot of potential#just imagine longleg and shortleg (koichiro) dropping sick someya beats and dabbing on lxl as they cry in loserxloser#and them doing their traditional kabuki dances to very unfitting music between rap bars#that is… sick. someya. beats.#i’ve had this idea for ages now but the one person i’ve brought it up to always says ‘NO’ in response to it. sadded#either way! hmu for ideas if you need them hw crew i have tons of bad ideas for the longleg#aside from rap god longleg i also want to see him work the burger grill at a mcd. it’s a need at this point#it is suiyoubi my dudes#染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—
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ffs bruh why do some parents do the thing where they'll go up to you and ask you how they can support so you tell them exactly how and they're like "no, I don't believe that'll help you so I will not do it"
and
I guess I'm fortunate I don't have it real bad like many do in terms of their relationship with their parents but like why'd he even ask me in the first place if he wasn't gonna like the answer, man
#he legit went up to me and was like “you haven't been doing anything productive” and I Am Btw. so I told him that I was making plans for my#- future which is quite productive since I have none so wth trying NOT to fuck myself over financially or emotionally through bad descision#honestly more annoyed than anything after everything he's put us through even though i should be furious#This Guy. insists i can just walk down town to mcd's and ask for a job and they'll hire me on the spot. so out of touch.#he was legit SO fortunate with his last job bc#1. he wasn't qualified and a friend got him employed#2. he had decent pay for someone who isn't paying for his living space#3. constantly bitched about how they were inefficient. you are working a service job sir. they didn't make him do much. come on.#ok im done now
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⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ TO WASH ASHORE !
pairing : pirate!ellie williams x siren!reader
synopsis : ellie wakes on a remote island, delirious and hallucinating as she spots a sea creature watching her from in the sea, your sharp eyes tracing her every movement. already deeming herself to be losing her sanity, ellie sees no harm in calling you over.
a/n : bare w me here guys idk what im doing, this idea is so random but im trying to do it justice at least ! MCD WARNING BTW
wc : 4.3k
ellie williams has lived a life of barbarity and brutality, living among pirates as a woman in disguise. of course, nobody would allow a woman aboard a ship, not to even mention the ship of a notoriously infamous pirate renown for his perfection and flawlessness. so, her fellow crew members know her as eli. a man.
she'd been sailing in disguise for nigh a year now, growing close with the pirates and getting to know life at sea. she's even built quite a reputation for herself ⎯ elijah williams, cruel and callous. captain miller's golden boy.
"avast ye!" a barrelman calls out from the crow's nest.
those on deck turn their attention toward the man. ellie halts her work and lifts her head up toward where he sits, putting a hand to her forehead to block the sun from her eyes.
one of the gunners climbs the shrouds toward the barrelman, scaling the lines swiftly. he pauses when he reaches the top, the two men conversing for a short moment before the barrelman passes the gunner his spyglass. the gunner's eyes widen and he begins talking frantically to the barrelman, both unsure on what to do. ellie watches the exchange from the deck, highly invested in what got the men so worked up.
she hears footsteps approach her from behind and she turns around to face whoever it is that comes to her. captain miller. she instantly straightens her back, the quintessence of respect for the man of authority.
he waves a hand at her, "oh relax, williams. you haven't gotta act so on edge all the time."
"easy for you to say." she scoffs, deepening her voice an octave. "you ain't gotta change to be accepted. you're the captain, you can do whatever you damn well please 'n nobody can give you shit."
"i suppose," he agrees. he then turns the topic around, peering up at the men atop the crows nest. "what're they doin' up there?"
ellie shrugs, "i haven't a clue. seems troublesome, though."
miller hums in acknowledgment, staring up at the two men who grow more and more frantic with each passing second. they hand the spyglass to one another back and forth, taking turns looking through it and exclaiming things of nervosity. ellie follows their gazes, turning toward where they aim the glass.
there, in the distance, she can see the formation of clouds beginning to fester along the horizon. its barely noticeable from her place on the deck unless one knows what to look for. but, if she were up high, the sight of such a storm would likely terrify her.
"a storm." ellie says.
miller turns to look at her, a brow raised. "come again?"
"that's what they're lookin' at." she explains, meeting his gaze with her brow knitted. "a storm is brewin' out there and we're heading directly into it."
miller doesn't need any proof of this, believing ellie without hesitation. and, within mere minutes, of her declaration, he's appointed roles and tasks to each of the two hundred crew members aboard. gunners are tasked with moving the ballast and heavy barrels into the hull; the pilot is given a stern talking-to on how best to handle this situation; the riggers are told what to do and which lines to pull.
ellie, being the quartermaster, is tasked with keeping the crew at bay. miller tells her she needs to keep them calm and level-headed, give them hope and whatnot. she nods, hurrying to do just that.
as they near the looming clouds, the sea grows angered. waves come up over the taffrails, soaking into the floor of the deck. the winds pick up, forcing the riggers into action. she alternates between people, assuring them that they're doing well and they'll make it through this. however, as she watches the storm grow nearer, she isn't quite so sure of that herself.
she sees a group of brutes, standing around without a role yet. she approaches them with her hands on her hips and a hardened expression on her face. "the fuck are you doin'!? batten down the hatches!" she orders. instantly, the men rush into action, tying things down and putting things away for the coming weather.
ellie's heart beats frantically in her chest as rainfall begins to drench her. she pulls her hat farther over her face, making sure that her hair is all tucked away and her coat remains loose.
the sea grows in her rage, throwing massive waves over the bow. crew members begin to lose faith, their minds descending into despair. ellie tries to keep them at bay for the most part, but it's fruitless. their hopelessness is no longer malleable. she curses under her breath, knowing exactly why miller appointed her this role ⎯ if the pirates lose hope, they won't work as efficiently at their jobs. even if wreckage is inevitable, they'd at least have a chance.
she glances around, the gunners breathing quick as they shakily trek back and forth. the riggers grow fatigued in their mission of manning the sails, the pilot grips the wheel tightly but not confident enough. the ship teeters on the waves, thrashing around with each one.
"fuck," ellie mutters, wiping salt water from her eyes as she rushes to the helm. she ascends the stairs and approaches the pilot with as kind as gaze as she can muster whilst so irritated. "okay listen," she says, causing the pilot to turn to her with wide eyes.
"elijah?" the pilot questions, "what're ya doin' up here? go help the others."
"won't be able t' help the others if ya crash the ship." she points out. "move, let me steer."
the pilot appears reluctant, but eventually gives in and moves. ellie takes the wheel, flexing her fingers against the wooden material. the feel of the wheel in her hands is comforting, reminding her of how she first began as a pirate ⎯ a small pilot who blended into the background for months.
she tips her head at the pilot, wondering why the hell he's still standing there. "go help the gunners, tar."
"oh, uh⎯" he nods quickly, "yes, sir!"
with that, he scurries off to assist those in need. ellie watches from the helm as he bustles about, seeking out those who need an extra hand. once she's sure he's doing as he was told, she averts her attention back to the task at hand.
the waves are growing by the second, more and more water taken over the bow. a few of the swabbies dumping buckets of seawater overboard. she spins the wheel, hard. the ship swerves to the right, hitting the next comber at an angle. a few of the pirates stagger on their feet or fall over, but nobody falls overboard so ellie counts that as a win.
her change in angle allows the ship to take in far less water. the crew members will need to embrace their sea legs a bit more, but overall the damage is now far less. a few of the pirates whip their head in her direction, knowing their previous pilot would never have the balls to whip the wheel so hard. when they see ellie "elijah" at the helm, many of them seem relieved, knowing she's a great pilot. if anybody can aid them in survival, its her.
this goes on a few more times, yanking the wheel hard to the side as to avoid water filling the deck. but as time progresses and the rain refuses to die down, the amount of overtake grows unavoidable. by the fifth wave, the swabbies are forced to resume their buckets. by the eighth, more pirates rush to their aid.
ellie grits her teeth, mentally scolding herself for having not done more despite it being nigh impossible to avoid water overtake. she grips the wheel tightly, tossing the wheel to the side as the ship lurches in that direction. they hit the wave inelegantly, one of the riggers falling from a shroud and into the water with a deafening splash. she ignores it, unable to part her mind from the task at hand.
she hears footsteps bound up the stairs of the helm, rushing to her. she sideglances in their direction, not surprised to see captain miller approaching her.
"what're our chances?" he asks her, bracing a hand on the rail of the helm that overlooks the deck, having to grip onto it to avoid toppling over.
"of survival?" she asks, turning away from him and toward the next wave that rolls in their direction. "not lookin' too good, i'll tell ya that."
"give me a precent."
"about 18." she says with a sigh, the ship overtaking a huge amount of water from the bow, two swabbies getting washed away with the wave. she forces herself not to think about their deaths, tightening her grip on the wheel until her knuckles turn white.
"fuck that." miller declares. "we ain't dyin' out here."
"don't have much of a choice, i'm afraid." ellie tells him, yanking hard to the left, the wheel spinning out of control for a split second as the water catches control of the rudder. she fumbles to regain reign over it. once she does, her chest rises and falls with heavy breaths as she shoots miller a look. "i'm doin' everything i can, but i can't promise it'll be enough. this storm ain't relenting."
he narrows his eyes at her. "what's your name, williams?"
"excuse me?" she questions, momentarily caught off-guard.
"ya deem me fool, do ya?" he questions. "i know you're a woman. if we're all dyin' anyway, at least tell me your real name. you should be able to tell someone before your life ends."
"ellie." her chest feels heavy as she speaks her actual name for the first time in a year, throat feeling tight with the foreign sound of it on her tongue. she blinks water out of her eyes and she tells herself it's rain, though she's not entirely sure.
"well," miller says softly, nigh inaudible over the heavy rainfall pattering loudly against the sea around them, "it's nice t' meet ya, ellie williams."
she turns her head to face him, brow knitting. their eyes meet and she gives him a gentle smile, eternally grateful for his acceptance of her despite her year-long life of lies. apparently, that split moment of distraction is all it took for the storm to hit. while ellie's distracted by the unexpected turn of events miller voices, mother nature decides to attack while her guard is down.
a huge wave swells over the bow, water yanking the ship forward into the sea. ellie yelps as the wheel yanks from her hand, rudder being tugged by the sudden change. as the bow goes down under the surface, the stern goes up in the air. ellie's feet slip out from under her, her backside slamming against the vertical deck. miller's do the same.
as ellie slides downward toward the water below them, she feels a hand grab her by the wrist. she looks up, breathing hard. miller is still holding tightly onto the railing with his right hand, his left now holding ellie's entire weight.
the ship is vertically positioned, the bow slowly sinking into the aggravated sea as the stern is high in the air, teetering unnaturally.
she stares up at miller with wide eyes, her mind reeling at the sudden change in atmosphere. she'd told them they were likely to die, but she hadn't actually been ready to face death straight-on. the feel of powerlessness licks up her spine with a cold touch of dread and despair.
"ellie!" miller shouts, her attention snapping up to him. "i ain't lettin' ya go! don't lose⎯"
his words are cut off by a barrel coming down from the helm and hitting him in the head. the heavy weight of the wood knocks him out cold, his fingers going slack on the railing. they both instantly fall from the stern. she screams as she falls, sound interrupted as her body collides with the ocean. her throat burns, eyes stinging as she forces them to open in the water.
she looks around under the surface, ignoring the agonizing sting in her retinas. she's surrounded by wood and debris and fallen pirates. buts she's looking for one in particular. joel miller.
he's nowhere to be seen.
her heartbeat picks up, her lungs contracting with lack of oxygen. her mind begins to swim, unable to comprehend all that she's lost within a mere few seconds. she feels herself begin to sink as her eyes go dark, the weight of her body being dragged down by the merciless pull of gravitation.
she shuts her eyes, allowing the earth to pull her under the water and towards its core. consciousness plays with her, pulling her in and out of it. not a single coherent thought runs through her mind as she sinks down, down, down,
just as she comes to terms with death, shaking its hand and accepting its sudden control over her, something else grabs her other hand. something soft, a gentle caress of fingers wrapping around her wrist. life.
ellie's chest constricts as she shoots up, the feel of water in her lungs as she gags on it. the feel of pain welcomes her before the feel of relief does. her throat burns, her body is weak, her eyes sting. everything aches so very agonizingly that nothing else really matters to her.
she rolls over, getting on her hands and knees as she coughs and hacks water from deep within her chest. once she manages to level out her breathing enough to form an intelligible though, she realizes what she's on.
her fingers dig into soft sand, the sediment wedging under her nails. she lifts her head, eyes wide in shock. she's on an island, tiny enough she can see right across to the water on the other side. she looks around some more, taking in the scarce amount of shrub and grass.
she huffs out a laugh, disbelief and delirium encircling the sound as it slips past her split lips. the light chuckle soon turns into boisterous cackling, tears welling in her eyes as she realizes she's alive. she's breathing, feeling, living.
through blurred vision, she grazes her eyes across the island, once again taking in the beautiful sight of it. she leans back on her knees, sitting on her folded feet. here gaze suddenly snags on something lying a few feet from her. a body. she narrows her eyes, praying that this island isn't inhabited. but when she recognizes the shape of it, she instantly rushes to its side.
captain miller. joel.
she crouches beside him, turning him onto his backside. she leans down, pressing an ear to his mouth, desperation filling her up as she listens for any sign of life. then she hears it. breathing.
it's croaky and crackled, but breathing nonetheless. she straightens. he's alive. once he wakes, he'll cough a bit and be in indescribable pain, but he's alive. she moves him onto his side to avoid him choking on his own saliva, tipping his head into the sand a bit.
her mind is moving at a million thoughts per second, ellie can hardly keep up with her own brain. she leans back, staring at joel's head as she breathes heavily, trying to grasp what exactly has happened. only an hour ago, she was⎯ wait. how long ago was that? for all she knows it may have been days since the shipwreck. it may have been months. she looks at the sky, hoping to be able to tell time by it somehow.
the sky is clear, blue and brilliant without a cloud in sight. but her clothes are still wet and so are joel's. plus, she isn't starving to death yet, so she decides it's only been a few hours.
her mind races, suddenly stuttering on one thought in particular: who the fuck got them out of the water?
if it were another crew member, they'd be on the island with her and joel. if it were another ship crew, they'd be dead before they could reach the depth of which she'd sank by then.
she traces her eyes along the horizon regardless, hoping she might see a ship or something to point toward who's responsible for this. that's when she sees you.
her brows raise at the sight of a girl so far out in the surf, water up to your shoulders. your hair is wet, clinging to your neck and forehead. you aren't wearing a top, bare shoulders peeking from the surface.
ellie squints her eyes, wondering if she's going crazy or not. the heat is getting to her, clinging to the wet clothes that soak her skin. her hat is missing, auburn hair now askew atop her head. she puts a hand to her hairline, shielding sun from sight. sure enough, there you remain.
gorgeous and luminary in your presence, out there like a beacon of hope amid chaos. water droplets run down your face, sparking like fragmented glass across your skin.
"hey!" she calls out, unable to stop herself. "c'mere!"
you remain in place for a long moment, tilting your head at her slightly. she worries, for a second, whether you truly were imagined purely out of her mind. honestly, how could someone so beautiful be out here right now? in the middle of the ocean. just standing there. it's impossible.
just as doubt traces up her spine, you begin forward.
your movements are languid, almost like you're made of water yourself. the tangible embodiment of the sea, beautiful and mysterious just like the ocean. ellie finds herself unable to look away, a wordless spell cast to immobilize her.
you continue forward, bare chest veiled by your long wet hair. like a fish on a hook, ellie crawls toward you. her jaw is slackened, eyes sparkling. you keep most your body in the water as you near her, lower waist never breaking the surface. ellie doesn't give much thought to it, to enamored by the sight of you.
you stop at the waterline, lying on your stomach. you bury your elbows in the sand, resting your chin on the palms of your hands. ellie stops right in front of your, her eyes wide as they search your face.
"...beautiful..," is all ellie is capable of muttering. you tilt your head at her, slow and steady. she continues to stare at you, awe-struck. the smallest smile manages to tug at your lips and ellie finds her heart speeding at the mere sight of it. you shut your eyes, grinning at her.
"thank you." you say.
ellie's ears perk at the sound. your voice is music, tone a melody. she can't help but yearn for it to be played on loop. over and over until she takes her final breath.
"y-you⎯" words feel foreign in her mouth, nothing coming out correctly. she shakes her head, touches of crimson staining her cheeks. she blinks a few times as she refocuses on your face, taking in every feature that adorns it. "you're⎯"
"what?" you croon, a gentle hum from the back of your neck. she finds herself leaning in at the soft sound, needing to be closer. needing to hear you better. your eyes sparkle at the sight of her desperation, scooting farther back ever so slightly. "i'm what?"
a breath escapes her lips as she stares. "you're beautiful."
"mm," you sound, blinking at her slow and seductive. she falls for it. of course she does, they all do. that's your curse.
"how⎯" she blinks down at the sight of you in the water, having emerged from the surf all on your own. "how'd you⎯"
you tilt your head again, though this time for another reason. you do it as to move it out of her line of sight, allowing her eyes to rest on the tail that grows from your hips. it's about five feet in length, blue and shiny. the scales catch the light, glittering like magic. the fins are translucent, filtering sunlight through the thin material.
she stares at it, unable to tear her eyes away. whether that be to delirium or adoration, you're unsure. so is she.
"i saved you," you mutter, drawing her gaze back to your face. your brows are furrowed, sincerity knitting them with a thin thread of deception. she blinks, the threads blurring together into a gentle curiosity. she leans in again. you lean back. the palms of her hands are now in the water, encircling her wrists with rocking waves against the shore. she continues to crawl toward you. out of mere pity, you refrain from easing back more. it'd be too easy that way ⎯ killing a starved pirate who's been marooned.
"a-and joel?" she blinks, completely unaware of your moral dilemma. she's equally unaware of the way you had been slowly easing into the water. somehow, they never seem to feel the cool liquid around them.
"yes." you confirm, narrowing your eyes at the girl and her soaked form. "yes, i saved your old captain as well."
she exhales, enamored by the information. you take this time to soak in the sight of her. her hair is damp, short auburn strands clinging to her face and neck. her thin white linen shirt is clad against her torso and chest, buttons undone at the top. her heavy brown coat hangs off of her, clearly having been made for a man. her black jeans are baggy, also meant for a male. as are her oversized boots.
"thank you, i⎯" she stammers, licking her lips in thought. "i-i don't know how to⎯"
"hush," you whisper, voice tangling with the waves crashing against the sand. the melody is the same, sediment washing from the shore as ellie does. you lift your hands, cradling her face with cold, wet fingertips. she leans into the touch, her eyes lidded and pupils blown. your gaze softens, "you needn't thank me, love."
"but⎯"
"shh," you place the pad of your thumb on her lips, silencing her. your eyes drop to her mouth, tracing your finger along her bottom lip. she parts them, breath hitching. "i saved you because i was unable to bare the sight of your death."
she doesn't respond, her mind jumbled. you continue, pulling her deeper into the water as she crawls toward you.
"so lovely, so undeserving," you whisper, the water now at her knees, forcing her to stand in the water with you. your hands remain on her face, thumb running along the pink skin of her mouth. she breathes heavily, desperate for more, completely under your alluring spell of seduction.
"closer," she mumbles, likely unaware she'd even uttered the word.
you oblige, the water now at your waists. your tail treads water as she legs continue to inch toward you. she moves forward, never stopping, never thinking, never able to. you stop, allowing to to ease closer. she does.
she braces her hands on your hips, fingers caressing the scales with gentility. so different from anything else you'd experienced. normally, when you seduce sailors, they're lustful and desperate and rough. she, however, is kind. curious wonder strikes her eyes, flecks of love already catching her pale green irises. they remind you of sea grass.
you decide to offer her a kindness before the inevitable death that's to overcome her.
you lean in, the waves crashing at your chests, pushing your toward her. you listen, the ocean being your religion, your beacon of a deity. she does the same, obviously. you continue to cradle her face as she continues to encircle your hips, delicacy lacing her every movement.
you press your lips to hers, your bewitched mind incapable of feeling anything aside from an insatiable hunger for her death. ellie, on the other hand, is seeing stars from the mere feel of her mouth on yours. the way your lips move with such calculated precision, the way your teeth nip at the lip you'd been tracing. it's intoxicating. the taste of you is more addictive than any glass of rum she'd ever had.
sea salt and passion line your lips, salty with its passion. she leans in as your lean away, careful to keep your lips connected the whole way down. while ellie is practically unraveling at the seams, you ease into the water.
the trick here, you've learned, is to kiss your victim. that way, they're already holding their breaths with their eyes closed. you can ease them into the water without so much as a fight.
unfortunately for her, ellie is no different.
she follows your every movement, unaware of how the ocean begins to rise. the way the water begins to clog her ears. you drag her down, filling her lungs with your own tainted oxygen that you're not in need of.
you're now far past the surface, ellie continuing to kiss you despite the way her hands go slack around your waist and her breath struggles to maintain itself. you hate the knowledge of knowing you'd killed such a beautiful soul. but, more than that, you love the taste of her death.
the way death holds her hand all the way down; the way her skin turns to an icy blue that mocks your tail; the way her mouth goes slack against yours; the way her eyes are already closed; the way her lungs constrict.
she dies without a fight, completely uncharacteristic for a woman who'd fought her whole life. for a woman who went disguised as a man for so many years, all of her walls were let down for you ⎯ a mysterious creature of the sea who's name she hadn't even bothered to learn.
and as she does, her last thoughts are of your face and the sound of your voice. she dies with a soft contentment in knowing you were what held her as she was put to an eternal slumber.
if her death could be something of benefit to you, she considers it to have been worth it.
⊹ ࣪ ˖𐙚 perm. taglist : @luvsturniolo @zzombiegirl
⊹ ࣪ ˖𐙚 fic taglist : @juptology @thefirstromantics @flutterdasher @dinakisser
#vxsellie !#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie willams x reader#ellie williams x female reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie x you#pirate x siren#pirate au#pirate ship#siren#siren aesthetic#merfolk#mermaid#joel miller#tlou joel#tlou fic#joel the last of us
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𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 (part 2)
✧˚ · . three minutes past his 27th birthday, the mass serial killer known as 'dawnbreaker' finally meets the girl from his dreams
✧˚ · . part 1
✧˚ · . warnings:- dawnbreaker!zayne x fem!reader, HEAVY ANGST, mentions of food, mentions of illnesses, mentions of injuries, spoilers for zayne's lore, alternative timeline, mentions of babies, mentions of pregnancies, pet names (darling, my love, beloved), nightmares, mentions of smoking, MCD, brief mentions of su_cide, nightmares, a not so happy happy ending, minors and ageless blogs do not interact. i am not responsible for your media consumption
✧˚ · . dawn says: i had to split the last part into 2 because it was literally so long tumblr said nope sorry girlie this ain't making it into the tags lol
✧˚ · . playlist
“You may know me as Zayne, but I go by another name…”
He exhales it into the suffocating silence:
“Dawnbreaker.”
Your eyes bulge wider, mouth falling open in horror. Of course, you were aware of that name; you knew who he was.
Serina Callaghan, daughter of Detective Callaghan, had told you numerous stories about the elusive serial killer. How no one could find a trace of him.
Yet, here he was—standing in your kitchen with remorse etched onto every pore of his body.
You feel a sick sense of nausea bubbling from your stomach to your chest, threatening to spill onto the floor.
You had taken him in… made love to him… held him in your arms every night… when he had killed all those innocent people…
As if reading your mind, Zayne shakes his head. “These people—the ones who had passed on—I never killed them for fun. They wanted me to end their lives because they were overtaken by the disease… by the Abomination.”
His words shock you out of your reverie; tames your urge to grab the phone and call the police. For a split second, you wonder what Zayne would do to you if you were to lunge for the cordless phone; would he escape?
Kill you?
Forcing yourself to be far braver than you felt, you clutched your trembling hands together, taking in a deep breath.
“So, m-mercy killing,” your voice shook, but your deduction was spot on.
“Yes.” He shrugs off his coat, and you eye the wad of cash he takes out and sets on your kitchen counter. “I will never kill someone unless they pay me to do it. I do not like taking lives, but as one of the last Evolvers in this generation… it is my duty to help.”
Evolver?
The layers of truth were starting to make your head spin. You could barely unravel your spiraling thoughts.
“I thought Evolvers were extinct.”
Zayne shakes his head. “We are rare, but we are still here.”
As if to solidify the truth, he holds out his hand. On his palm, the air condenses, and the temperature in the kitchen drops a few celsius. You watch, gobsmack in silence, as bits of snow appear, coalescing right into a singular teardrop-shaped crystal that unfurls into a shimmery flower with five petals.
“Ice,” Zayne explains, and slowly approaches you. He gently places the flower on the table, right where you were standing.
He backs away, giving you some space to work out your emotions. You stare at the jasmine flower, in silent contemplation.
It’s intricate and beautiful, but ice in itself was deadly.
While it looked harmless falling from the sky, it had the power to bury people under its weight; causing hypothermia, avalanches, and skin burns.
You glance at Zayne, wondering which category he belonged in—if he was a chilly breeze or an entire fucking snowstorm.
His weary gaze spoke volumes, though he let you reach your own conclusions. Zayne was giving you a choice: one many people in your life didn’t.
Stay or leave.
Be with him or turn him away.
Two forks of an outcome; you had no idea what to choose.
Your silence stretches on and Zayne hangs his head forward. He’s about to turn and leave, when you slowly reach out to touch the jasmine flower. It’s cool on your palm, tougher and durable. Not wet and cold like real ice.
“Crystals?”
Your voice comes off low, hoarse. There’s a dazed look in your eyes, one which tugs on the sorrow lining his soul.
He hates to do this to you; hates how conflicted you look.
“This is what you use to kill people, don’t you?”
Astute, again. Zayne would honestly be impressed by your wits if he wasn’t painfully aware of how you were holding him accountable for his horrendous mistakes.
“I know you think awfully of me—”
“Why kill them?” You’re breathing heavily now, anguish coating your every word. “What if you could save them, instead? Can’t that be done?”
Zayne shakes his head, unable to meet your eye. “I have spoken to a few scientists about this… but many of them were taken by the Abomination. It’s caused by constant exposure to Protocores and is incurable. The only thing I can do is make sure those infected have a swift end.”
Your silence strikes him heavier than a hit.
“Infected?" you murmur hoarsely. "Constant exposure? A swift end? Do you even hear yourself?”
You simmer and bubble, cheeks flushed with anger. “Zayne—these are human beings! People with love, dreams and hopes. People with families. They’re not jobs or ledgers. They deserve a bit more dignity than that.”
Suddenly, the despair in his eyes turns ice cold. You’re hopeless to stop him from approaching you, and scramble back until you bump the kitchen counter, eyes wide and fearful. But, he stops just shy of your feet touching, an unfathomable expression on his face.
“I would never hurt anyone. Ever. You of all people should know. Didn’t you say you weren’t afraid of me the first time we were intimate together?” He fights hard to not let his tone turn accusatory, eyes shining with frustration and unshed tears. “What made you change your mind this time?”
“You killed them… you killed them all,” you’re close to tears, trembling from head to toe. Zayne looks like he’s about to cry as well, begging you to see beyond the murderer you thought he was; to embrace him and hold him and share his burden, even though he knows it’s unfair to put all this weight on you.
He was so tired of pretending that everything was alright. And deep down, he knew you were, too.
This world wasn’t kind to anyone, and he only had you to soothe the ache—to be the light he looks forward to every morning.
Please, don’t go, he wants to scream, hands balled into fists at his side. Don’t leave me alone… you are the only one I have left.
A sob bubbles past your lips, and you wrap your arms around you; willing yourself to stand upright and be brave.
“Do you regret it?” your voice is thick, and he longs to staunch the tears falling from your cheeks, but the words are lost in his throat.
“All of them? Did you ever regret killing them?”
Zayne tightens his fists, clenching down hard enough for his nails to leave pale moon crescent indents on his palms.
“There was a boy I had to kill once. Georgie. He would’ve been thirteen…” he closes his eyes, hoping to find some strength to push on. Zayne was so incredibly tired from constantly fighting.
“We celebrated his birthday at a cafe, too. He loved macarons. And chocolate. But, his mother gave him the disease. I had to be the one to put him down. I still think about him every time I hear ‘happy birthday’.”
His words are simple, but they make you bleed, staring at the floor with tears blurring your vision.
You fall into a thick disquiet, and so did he. Zayne stands upright, like a prisoner about to be read his final judgment; willing you to forgive him—god he hopes you find it in your heart to forgive him.
He wasn’t a good man—a fiend of the night people were afraid of. But, Zayne would never forgive himself if you didn’t take him back. He would dig his knees to the ground, beg for you to change your mind.
In the throes of his own self-loathing, he almost flinches when he feels your arms wrap around his torso. Your head thumps onto his chest, and he realizes you’re fully crying now. He embraces you fiercely, quickly. Holding you fast to him as if you both could fuse together and become one.
You leave tear stains across his blood speckled shirt, fingers digging into his shoulders as violent sobs rip through you.
“Do you hate me?” He forces himself to ask through numb lips. Zayne doesn’t know what answer you would give—if you would even reply to him.
But, you shake your head, hiccuping his name.
“Are you afraid?”
There’s a slight pause, and you shudder, shaking your head again.
Zayne nuzzles your hair, rocking you from side to side like he was comforting a hysterical child.
Your sobs eventually stop and you’re both swaying in each other’s arms now.
“I’m sorry,” you murmur. Zayne hums in confusion, and you continue. “I’m sorry for being so quick to misjudge you. You’re not the bad guy, Zayne. You were forced into this horror… our world is so fucked up and you were just trying to make it better any way you could.”
You peel your face from his chest, eyes red-rimmed and nose runny. He gently dabs at your tears and snot with the sleeve of his dress shirt, careful not to press down too hard.
He doesn’t say anything else, and you both let the silence scatter and fall where it may. Somehow, your fingers end up in his hair and he’s nudging you back against the hard counter.
Zayne lifts you up effortlessly, parting your legs wide to slot himself in between them, hands gently squeezing and groping your thighs and hips.
The need to reclaim you claws through him, searing his every coherent thought with nothing but the cry of your name.
He looks down the line of his nose, tilting your face up to the light so you meet his eyes. What he finds in your expression makes his heart ache in misery—your sadness and despondency hitting him right in the soul.
“Would you rather I stop killing people?”
It’s a loaded question, one that has your mind reeling. You eye the blood on his shirt, now soaked through with your tears.
“Only if you promise me you will never find pleasure from it.”
He shakes his head, firm in his conviction. “Never. Not once, or ever. I can promise you that.”
“Do the police know?”
A good question, indeed. Zayne nods, catching you off guard.
“Callaghan’s colleague. Detective Ivan. He was the one who scrubbed my records clean. He knows not to seek me out because… it means he’s next.”
Zayne lets the words hang in the air. He hears your mind whirring, thoughts piecing together.
“Detective Ivan found out and agrees with what you’re doing? So, the police are turning a blind eye?”
“Yes,” Zayne murmurs, trying hard not to fall into the gravity of your lips; forcing attention to this distressing topic.
“He was with me when Georgie died. He saw the extent of how the Abomination takes over people. Dark as it is, he agrees with my ethics and now, I only focus on people who come to me through word of mouth. Rarely do I ever hunt them anymore. They choose this end because it is far less painful than the alternative.”
“Which is?”
He steadies himself with a short breath. “Living as a rotting corpse with no control over your body.”
You suck in a sharp inhale. Your smaller fingers fist the front of his shirt, your mind a million miles away.
Zayne nudges your face towards him, fingers cold on your skin. He swallows hard, and you follow the motion—his throat moving, Adam’s apple bobbing. Impulsively, you lean forward, catching him off guard with a chaste kiss.
He musters a low groan when you begin to tug on his hair; sliding your tongue into his mouth.
Frantically, he grips your thighs, hips—fisting your hair to pull you closer.
Hot breaths clash. Moans echo around the kitchen. You lean back, far enough for silvery strands of spit to connect your lips to his.
Zayne devours the dark look in your eyes, and he thinks loving someone shouldn’t hurt this much, but for you, he would go through the agony all over again.
The tormented man wants to swallow you down, break his rib cage open and tuck you safely close to his heart. Your sighs and gasps fuel him to be better—change his ways so he could have you in his life forever.
“Zayne,” you sigh, all syrupy and love-struck. You play with his shirt’s button, and before he can stop you, you start to unravel all of him.
“—No." He grabs your hands in a panic, stopping your intentions in loosening his buttons. Those scars on his skin flash behind his mind, marking him as a lost soul and unworthy of you.
You shake your head, determination lining your pretty features. “Don’t hide from me anymore, Zayne. I want to see you—all of you.”
He’s helpless to stop you from unfastening his armor, greeting those silvery scars with a soft gasp.
There was a reason he never fucked you with the lights on—those lacerations on his body caused him shame.
But, you don't recoil out of disgust like he expects. Instead, your pretty fingers topped with pink nail polish trace the milky white divots; those signs of pain and abuse he had to endure for his entire life.
Peering at you pass thick lashes, he sees you lick your lips, the desire on your face as clear as day.
“You’re so beautiful, Zayne.”
Not giving him a chance to speak, you dip your head forward, pressing your soft lips reverently to the scar just above his heart.
Zayne feels like something seismic has just happened—an internal earthquake which rocks him apart.
Outwardly, the world doesn’t change; the flickering light he keeps on forgetting to fix over your sink still casts intermittent shadows across your face; the outside world whirs with sounds of robots and automated deliveries.
Nothing has changed and yet, everything inside of him has fundamentally been shifted.
A strangled sound emanates from his chest, and you look up quickly, afraid that you might have hurt him.
But, Zayne’s not in pain—not in the least. His green eyes shine verdantly like a forest after a storm, locked right onto your flushed face. You think that out of all the realities in this messed up world, you might find the real meaning of adoration in them.
He cups your face, smoothes your cheeks with his thumbs.
“I love you.”
It’s the first time he’s ever said this out loud. His breathing stutters, caught off guard. And you’re staring at him, too. All wide eyes, and parted, perfect lips.
Slowly, you defrost, bringing your hands up to your face, pressing your palms to the back of his hands.
The silence is deafening—a pin could roll off the counter and fall to the ground, sounding like an explosion. Zayne swears he can hear the blood rushing in his ears.
“I love you, too.”
Your voice is soft. Fragile. It echoes with shades of fear, but never uncertainty.
For if there was one thing you were certain in this life, it was that you were completely, sincerely and stupidly in love with Zayne.
His eyes ripple close, and so do yours. Foreheads gently touch, breaths shared as one. The two of you stay like this for a long time, savoring this quiet, beautiful connection you had both created in such a short time.
Zayne has never known love in this lifetime.
Slowly—surely—he was starting to warm himself up to the idea; falling deeper and deeper into a head on collision with your devotion.
None of it scares him; how could it when it’s the stuff of his dreams? Of a forever stretching into the tiniest moments: languid mornings over shitty cereal and sappy medical romcoms on your beaten up couch and nights spent warming your sheets.
He can’t fight it; this feeling of always wanting to be by your side.
And so, he openly and fervently welcomes it.
“You’re glowing.”
Serina’s offhand comment brings you up short, and you fight back the creeping flush threatening to overtake your cheeks; preferring to bite your lower lip and turn you face away so she couldn’t see your growing smile.
Her silence isn’t judgmental this time. Rather, it’s tainted with a cynical curiosity.
“I guess Zayne really does make you happy.”
You hum, going back to your supplies of flour and sheets of freshly roasted nuts.
“He’s staying with me now.”
“Oh.”
You don’t turn to face; don’t have to because you know she’s making a face behind your back.
“Is he coming to pick you up later?”
You think about him astride his motorcycle, dark locks whipping in the wind; fitted black trench coat, pristine suit and tie clinging right onto his frame and feel your stomach twist with nerves.
“Mhm hmm.”
Serina pauses, and you could tell she was struggling with something to say.
“I’m happy for you.”
Whatever it was you expected to drop from her mouth, it wasn’t this.
You turn around, and the incredulity must've been transparent on your face because she bursts into laughter, doubling forward to cackle with glee.
“Your face! You look like I just came out and told you I sold children’s blood by the bag.”
She snorts and straightens, wheezing slightly. “I am happy for you, you idiot. I’m glad you’re not fish food yet and you’re glowing and you have a stupid amount of hickeys you try to cover up every day with that shitty concealer I got for you five fucking years ago. Point is: I’m happy for you.”
Serina emphasizes the last word, and you shyly lace your fingers together, feeling both sheepish and incredibly exasperated.
“I… Thank you.” Not knowing what else to say, you flash her a small smile, one which she returns instantly.
Scoffing, she runs a hand through her platinum blonde hair and tosses the rag she was holding across her shoulder, gesturing to the door.
“Go. I can handle closing time. I know you’re dying to see Zayne tonight.”
You perk up, in disbelief. “Serina—”
“Leave those nuts in the fridge. They should be easy to chop up and temper with our chocolate bark tomorrow.” Hustling you out of the kitchen, you squeal at the feel of her cold fingers prodding your lower back. “Now, go. Call Zayne up and let him take you home. I’m sick of your love struck puppy expression.”
Despite yourself, you laugh, and unlace your apron. “Are you sure you can handle it? I can stay with you and help.”
Serina makes a face, though you could tell she was joking. “Ugh, and have to be around you for another hour while you pine for and miss him? Yuck. Get out of here.”
She jokingly swats you with her towel and you get her message loud and clear.
“Okay, okay. Goodnight, you ass.”
“Goodnight, simp,” she drawls, and you scoff, rolling your eyes while you pick up your phone to call Zayne.
Serina waits together with you, smoking a cigarette and filling you in on the latest online celebrity gossip.
When Zayne arrives, sharp on time and sharply dressed as ever, she shoots you a smirk and a wave. You wave back, and slip on the helmet he passes you, stradling behind him to speed off into the night.
They look happy together.
The young woman chuckles tiredly, scrubbing a hand down her face. She trudges back into the cafe, cleans up the remaining plates and cups, humming under her breath. As she fills up the dishwasher for its final load of the night, she hears the front doorbell tinkling.
Frowning, Serina wonders if you had left something behind when the sound of heavy footfalls resounds in the quiet space.
Thinking nothing of it, she straightens, a scowl on her blush rose lips.
“We’re closed,” she calls out in her most polite voice.
The presence in the dining space does not remove itself. From her stance inside the kitchen, she could just make out the silhouette of a tall man partially hidden behind the pillar separating the main hall from where she stood.
Fuelled with distaste and annoyance, she rounds the corner, fully prepared to fight off this stranger and tell them to piss off.
“I said, we’re closed—”
Her words are cut off when she notices a faint glow of purple surrounding him. His eyes which were once blue were now soulless and drained, clapping onto hers, their pupils widening slightly.
Strange bulges appear on his body, and in the limited light, they seem to move up and down his arms.
Crawling like they were filled with life.
She takes a step back, a sharp scream piercing the air.
The man falls back, putting his hands over his ears. He yanks on his graying hair, teeth bared and spittle splattering onto the ground.
“Shut… up…”
His moans rattle and thump, filled with pain. He looks at her, and in the briefest of moments when they make eye contact, Serina could plainly see the anguish in them—the desperation for someone to end it all.
“Please,” his hoarse voice makes her skin crawl, her hairs stand on end. “Someone… Help me… kill me…”
The stranger falls to his knees, back arching like a cat poised to throw up all over the polished, hardwood floors.
He heaves, and spittle drips from between his clenched teeth. Serina can’t move; completely frozen to one spot, locked on the sight of his pale hands curling into claws.
Those choked sounds he made would haunt her for the rest of her life. But, nothing could prepare her for when he lifts his head and the bulge under his right eye bursts, revealing a dark, tentacle appendage dangling from his cheek.
“Please,” he begs her with what was left of his humanity.
“You have to help me… you have to save me.”
Zayne’s arms wrap around your waist as you’re stirring a pot, his hum of adoration and contentment rumbling against your back.
“What?” you tease, picking up some bay leaves and tossing them into the fresh marinara sauce. “Are you excited to make me cook even after I slaved for a whole night in the kitchen?”
He clicks his tongue, kisses you right on your pulse point.
“Feisty. And here I was, about to fully offer you my assistance.”
He drops his arms, and you turn back to him with a pout.
“I was joking,” you backtrack, fluttering your lashes. “I could really use your help,” and add, “Please,” when the beginning of a smirk plays on the corners of his mouth.
“Alright,” he hums, grabbing a handful of sweet basil and a knife, chopping them up finely to be added to the pasta sauce once it was done.
It was comfortable working alongside him. Zayne didn’t need endless chatter to fill in the void, and neither did you feel obliged to talk his ear off.
You start to hum, and he tunes in, admiring the rise and fall of the melody; how clear and bright your voice is.
“Would you like to put on some music?” He suggests, pointing to the old radio sitting atop your kitchen counter, a fine layer of dust on its smeared screen.
You take him up on the offer, nodding.
Zayne pushes a button and the last recording you had on plays in the room. A voice from long ago vibrates with nostalgia, reminding him of days passed and a comfort only found from warm sheets on a Sunday morning.
“Why don’t you ever let me into your home?”
He pauses, glancing at you. “Pardon?”
You exhale a laugh, and a teasing quality takes over your smile. “Your apartment. How come I never see it? Do you have piles of bodies you’re hiding from me?”
A slender, calloused finger materializes by your hip, poking into your side. You flinch and giggle, locking eyes with his amused expression.
“Careful. Do not go around unnecessarily exposing me.”
“So, you do have them under your floorboards.”
He decides to challenge you back. “Are you afraid?”
You scoff, picking up a wooden ladle to stir the sauce. “You must be mistaken, Zayne. For it isn’t me who should be afraid of you, but you of me.”
He resists the urge to pick you up and spin you in his arms for being so damn adorable. Reigning in the cute aggression, he titters a laugh. “And why is that so?”
“Because,” you turn to him, your teasing smile growing wider. “I know things you don’t know. I have a certain set of skills not many have knowledge of and I can and will use them to my advantage.”
“Oh, really?” He drawls, raising a brow. The expression draws his handsome face into a comical curiosity; it nearly breaks your resolve not to laugh. “Enlighten me on these skills.”
You clear your throat, setting the ladle down. “For example, I can bet you that I am a better dancer.”
Unexpectedly, he sweeps you into his arms, grabbing your left hand with his right and encircling the other one around your waist; you had no choice but to place your other hand on his broad shoulder to keep your balance.
He was close—much too close—and it makes your face burn hot, your mischievous quips dying in the back of your throat.
Zayne holds you fast, sure—swaying you from side to side as you both slowly circle the room, one gliding footstep at a time. He makes sure to lead you properly, careful to keep you two in an orbit far from mishap.
You feel safe enough to lay your head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat and breathing alongside the sweet, romantic music. Eyes falling close, you lavish in this sense of serenity and comfort you had never felt in your life.
Zayne, too, takes a second to savor this moment. He gazes at the peace suffusing across your face and feels his heart growing lighter.
I want this for the rest of my life.
The thought jolts him from his reverie; scares him enough to convince himself to take it back.
But, as much as Zayne wants to delude himself, he can’t run away from the truth.
He wants this for as long he breathes on this godforsaken planet. As long as the seas ebb and flow and the sun turns on its fucking axis—he wants you. Zayne doesn’t care what others might think; how they would make a mockery of your connection to him. He would kill anyone who tries to get between you both.
And he hopes that deep down, you feel the same way, too.
He wakes up in the early morning to his phone vibrating on the dresser.
Zayne groans, feels a sinking weight on his chest and realizes you had fallen asleep sprawled on top of him.
His instincts override his fuzzy mind to not wake you up, nimbly grabbing his phone and answering the call without looking at the screen.
“Zayne.”
The voice on the other end jerks him fully awake, and he resists the urge to jolt upright, remembering you were still fast asleep.
“One second,” he murmurs into the receiver. The other man hums.
Zayne puts the phone back down, gently scooping you up and rolling you to the side, tucking the covers under your chin.
He sits upright, turning to plant his feet to the ground and picks the phone back up.
“Detective Ivan?”
“We have an emergency.”
Zayne stops scratching his bare chest, tired green eyes sharpening from the urgency in the older man’s tone. Ivan would never call him unless it was serious and usually there was only one reason why he would.
“An Abomination has attacked a young woman in a cafe. Nightstar Cafe. One of those oldy diners that open till early morning.”
Ivan doesn’t hear Zayne’s sharp breath, nor is he there to see how terrified the younger man looks, turning his gaze to the sleeping woman next to him.
“A young woman? Was she blonde?”
He can feel Ivan frowning on the other end. “How did you know?”
Zayne concocts a lie. “I saw the cafe in passing. Is it serious?”
“We have no visual on the Abomination and neither on the girl. We’re stuck and we need your help. Only you can track her down.”
Zayne racks his brain, thinking of his apartment that’s almost an hour away from yours. If he could get to his tracking systems quickly, maybe there was still time to solve this case…
“Alright,” he made up his mind. “Give me half an hour to find her. I’ll alert you to her whereabouts.”
Ivan breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Zayne.”
“Do not mention it.” He clicks off the call, turns to find you still fully asleep. As quietly as he could, he stands and gets ready, dressing in a nondescript black t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans, bundling up with his trench coat to keep the autumn chill at bay.
Just as he’s about to grab his bike keys, he hears you stirring.
“Zayne?”
Your voice is fringed with exhausted curiosity, bleary eyes blinking and trying to pin onto his figure in the total darkness.
He’s next to you in a heartbeat, bending down to place a kiss on your forehead. “I have an emergency. You stay here and rest, alright? Wait for me. I’ll be home for you soon.”
You could only nod obediently, watching him rush out of the room; the front door closing behind him with a loud thud.
Wondering what could’ve spurred Zayne into such a frantic mode, you close your eyes, about to drift off when you hear a knock.
Woozily, you get to your feet, stifling a yawn. The hem of his too big shirt brushes your thighs, and you rub your eyes, frowning when the knocks get more insistent.
“Coming,” you call out, and trudge to the front door.
Peering through the security monitor, your heart skips a beat when you notice your best friend on the other side, her expression wild; eyes darting down the hallway and jaw strained.
“Serina? What’re you doing here at this time?”
Your voice carries out to the front, and you hear her over the security intercom.
“Babe, please. Let me in. Something terrible has happened. I can’t explain it, but I need your help.”
She sounds afraid and terrified, and your heart squeezes in fear when she glances down the hallway again, as if she were being chased.
Without another thought, you unlatch the door for her, and she comes barreling in, sinking to the floor the second you shut the door closed.
You fall to your knees next to her, reaching out to touch her shoulder. Squinting in the darkness, you faintly make out splotches of darkness on her tank top, and it’s not until you switch on the lights that you notice it’s blood.
“Serina!” you gasp, and in the brightness, her irises have completely pin pricked, only a thin ring of blue surrounding them.
She grabs your hands, tugs you closer to her face. Your heart is about to fly out of your chest, and you fight back, trying to break free from her grasp.
But, she’s fueled by fear and something else—something which ramps her paranoia up to concerning levels.
“Man. Wanderer. He hurt me. Tried to kill me. I ran… I ran here. I had no idea where else to go.”
Her words slur and clash in a cacophony of confusion. You can’t make heads or tails what she’s trying to say, but you attempt to piece it together for her sake.
“Hold on, hold on. Breathe.” You grab her thin shoulders in your white-knuckled grip, trying to shake the fear out of her. There was no time for confusion; you needed to know exactly what happened to her. “Start from the beginning, please. I can’t help you if I don’t understand.”
Without warning, tears fill her eyes and she pitches her head forward, breaking into silent sobs.
Your arms automatically wrap around her, pulling her into your embrace. She cries, screams and wails, breaking down in total fear.
“It’s okay,” you soothe her, like how you had soothed Zayne many, many times in the aftermath of his nightmares. “You’re fine. You’ll be safe.”
She shakes her head, hiccuping incoherently. “He hurt me. He cut me with his teeth. I—” A full body shudder goes through her.
Alarmed, you rock back on your haunches, eyes wide and locked on her pinched expression. “Serina, are you okay—?”
The words die on the tip of your tongue, and you instinctively stand up, backing towards the wall when you notice her eyes starting to glow a bright purple.
“Serina—!”
She curls onto the ground, crying out in pain. Her body starts to writhe, and a gruesome crunching sound cracks through the air.
Too late to escape, you watch in horror as her body convulses, the bones of her spine breaking and twisting. Her skin turns a revolting shade of purple, and spittle froths down her mouth.
Before the petrifying purple light entirely consumes her body, she manages to hoarsely cry out two words which shakes you to your core:
“Save me.”
SOBS im sorry to have to cut it here but it was too long </3 last part coming soon !! reblogs and feedback are sincerely appreciated 🩷
©️ all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy my concept, repost my stories or translate and post them to other platforms
#🦢 writes#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne angst#love and deepspace angst#dawnbreaker
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MCD!!!
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His wish did come true after all ✨
Wish upon a star ✨⭐️💫
#I told you there would be angst#it hurt to draw but I needed to make them be in pain for a sec 😌#ghoap#oh the pain of meeting your soulmate while at war#gravy art#sorry for the angst#it won’t happen often#….i hope#mcd#main character death#major injury#soapghost#ghostsoap#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#cod mwii#modern warfare#mw2
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can you do an angsty laurance mcd (romantically) where reader has been waiting for his return and they reunite after he was stuck in the neither?
𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: mcd laurance x fem!reader
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: he can’t stay with you as long as the war underground calls to him. to stay with you he has to leave, not returning until three years later.
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: angst, lots of resent and crying, but then hurt/comfort, malachi is reader’s adopted son with laurance cause i said so
𝐂𝐖: none?
𝐀/𝐍: omg the past two weeks have been so busy i actually thought i might have gone insane if i didn’t have this day off to write this. but i'm back from the dead(work) anyways this prompt has actually been in my mind a lot so thank you for the request! hope it hurts
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
“please come back with me. you don’t have to do this.”
your chest hurt. whether it was from the man in front of you or the unbearable heat, you weren’t sure, but you found yourself choking on the air, lungs constricting and heart rushing cold blood uncomfortably fast through your veins.
you could tell he was angry that you came here. not at you. no, never at you. but the fact you came alone and risked your safety for him again had him nearly spiraling, his jaw clenched and hands gripping uncomfortably tight against your arms.
it was still him, you reminded yourself, as you pleadingly looked up to the pools of blood red that pierced through you. it was an unsettling shade, the color startling against his face yet somehow dull and dark at the same time. it was so different from the steel blue before it, and the beautiful green before that.
yes, you’d seen him in many different ways, and though he was naturally taller, and the air around him sent an anxious wave down your spine, it was still him.
the same olive skin and caramel hair, though a duller shade.
the same shape of his face.
the same determination in his eyes.
the same urge to protect you, no matter how much this new form of his ached to do the opposite.
“i told you not to follow me. you shouldn’t be here—”
“i couldn’t just let you leave!”
he sucks in a breath, your name leaving his lips with a sense of urgency and irritation.
“…i can’t go with you. you know i can’t.” his voice is tight, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of your eyes glossing over. “it would be selfish. i put you at risk just by being next to you.”
you start to shake your head, but swallow down your next words at the way he says your name again, desperate for you to understand.
“he’s in my head when you’re near me. i can’t keep you safe when it’s just us, because it isn’t just us. that calling clouds my mind and—he almost got to me, and you know it. i almost killed you.”
you’re silenced by this, knowing he was right. the horror on his face when he realized his blade was raised against you had set forward the timeline that got him here. he’d forever feel chained to this place unless he broke the chains himself.
“if i ever want to have a future with you, i have to do this. don’t you understand? until this war is over you have to stay away.”
“no…” you shake your head, tears beginning to spill from your lashes.
it was out of your control. the salty crystalline that slipped down your face. it was the same as the man in front of you, each second left with him like trying to hold water in your hands, continuing to slip through your fingers no matter how tightly you tried to grasp it.
his eyes close, face pained, looking like someone was about to end his second life right there where he stood.
“i love you. i always will. you have to know i’m doing this for you.”
he dips down, lips crashing into yours with a desperation that you couldn’t put into words. it’s not enough, too short-lived as his hands suddenly grip your waist, manhandling you up as he carries you to the portal.
“no, no! laurance, put me down! you have to come with me!” tears have turned into hysteria, your fists pushing and beating against him to no avail.
“i’m doing this for you.” his voice wavers shakily, contradicting his firm hold and long strides. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m hurting you again and i’m so sorry.”
“stop! i won’t go through that portal unless i know you’re coming with me.”
your name leaves his lips once more, pleading and desperate for you to understand. “i’ll return to you. i swear i will.”
his arms tighten around you, face shifting to rest in the crook of your neck and lips pressing against the skin for just a moment. you think he could’ve changed his mind, but the next second your feet are back on the ground, and his hands are gently pushing you through the portal in your disorientation.
you stumble through, cool air meeting your back as the nether fades from your vision and is replaced by the overworld. your feet trip over the other as you try to catch your step, falling back and turning to look back at the portal through your hazy vision. before you can scramble back the purple mist solidifies, shattering and collapsing to the floor into crystallized pieces.
you started in shock for who knows how long, curled on the stone beneath you as sobs wracked your whole body.
you don’t remember the trip back to phoenix drop after that. you only recall the horrid feeling that your heart had just been torn from your body, left behind in the fiery hell it’s owner had condemned himself to.
that emptiness never evaded you either. you went through day-to-day life completing your duties as normal. but at night when you were left with your thoughts, your mind wandered to him. the space in your bed felt bitterly cold, almost as if the emptiness was taunting you of the lack of his presence.
the boy the two of you had taken in as your own all that time ago was extra sweet on you, despite all the time you had missed with him. when you returned that night he had looked at you expectantly, only for his green eyes to fade in hope as he saw your puffy eyes and grieved expression.
soon a whole year had passed. then another. then another. it was what you had presumed to be another ordinary day, as you prepared a lunch for you and malachi to share on his break. you recognize his footsteps, but when you turn to greet him you’re met with a concerned expression and heavy pants from the boy.
“he’s back.”
you hate how you immediately knew what he meant, even after all this time. how your heart swelled tightly in your chest and rushed the adrenaline into your veins.
you can only stare blankly at the boy in the doorway, mouth open in shock and mind scrambling for some sort of reaction to give. he turns to look at something approaching him from out of sight, a protective frown forming on his face.
“mom, do you want to see him? you have to tell me now.”
a small part of you wants to say no, to resentfully send that man away for the loneliness he left you with. your head is nodding before your thoughts can resist, following the desperate tug in your chest rather than your brain screaming for the opposite.
your breath hitches when the taller man who had been haunting your mind for so long steps into view. you wonder if maybe you had fallen ill and this is all just a fever dream, but you know it’s not a hallucination or a memory as you take in his appearance.
he looks like a man returning from war, circles under his eyes darker than they had been all those years ago. new scars are littered across the skin that you could see, and his posture was that of extreme exhaustion.
him and your son stare at each other for a moment in the doorway, a silent and sort of awkward moment that you couldn’t decipher being exchanged. malachi gives you one last wary glance, before disappearing from your sight and leaving the two of you alone.
you want to scream at him, hit him, something. but you can only focus on the lump building in your throat, choking your airways as a painful sob threatens to break out from your chest.
he takes a step forward, then another. then another. soon he’s right in front of you, not in the haze of your dreams but tangible and real.
his hand, rough and scarred, lifts up to cup your soft cheek, fingers trembling as if you had sent a shock through them just by the contact. your name shakily leaves his lips, and you finally look up to his face.
you’re greeted with steel blue, glazed over with pain and guilt. something about them is much more hardened than when you saw him last, yet he still manages to look at you tenderly, full of a deep devotion he could never get rid of even through his years spent in hell.
his thumb brushes away the damp streaks from under your eyes, and you finally realize you had begun to cry. you had thought about this moment many times. how you’d call him a bastard for leaving you alone and kick him out to get a taste of his own medicine. or maybe you’d tell him all about the loneliness he’d put you through, watching his face drop with guilt.
instead of using any of the dialogue you had prepared in your moments of spite, you can only utter a few words, voice choked on your tears.
“is it over?”
he nods, eyebrows furrowing together and lip curling as if your voice had caused him physical pain after years of deprivation from the sound.
you collapse forward into his arms, years of raw emotion crashing down on you all at once as you begin to sob.
“it’s over. if you let me in i’ll never leave again.” his hushed voice speaks into your hair, the deep and roughened tone vibrating through his chest. “but if you want nothing to do with me anymore you only have to say the word and i will obey.”
you can only shake your head, chest heaving as you grip the linen shirt he wore and attempt to steady yourself on your feet. there’s not much need for your efforts though, when he picks you up into a tight embrace, holding you to him as he trembles at the feeling of your body once again pressing into his.
“i’ll never leave you again. i’m so sorry. my light in the darkness. please forgive me.”
he carries you to the nearest chair, fingers running through your hair like they were delicate strands of gold and continuing to hold you to him like you were the only thing worth any value in this life. as you continued to cry you felt tears that were not your own drip onto your skin, the shaky breaths and hitches in his chest proving you weren’t just imagining things as he too wept into the crook of your neck.
you two stay there for a long time, until the afternoon sun faded to a dim evening light, casting a warm haze into the room. it’s not until then that you feel composed, lifting yourself from where you had limply collapsed into his arms.
his hands gently hold your face, rubbing away the leftover tears and puffiness from your eyes. his own eyelids were red, eyes glossy. now that you’re looking at him you can see just how much his time away had changed him.
his once lovely olive skin had sallowed into a paler shade, leaving him sickly looking. his cheeks were thinner, and the lack of body fat wasn’t just on his face. he remained muscular, yet he somehow looked malnourished at the same time, his scarred skin stretching over his bones and muscles in a way that didn’t look healthy.
your fingers trail along healed over cuts that hadn’t been there before, gulping down the urge to cry again. how many times did he have to patch himself up, suffering in pain while fighting to get back to you?
“hey.” he gently pinches your cheek in his hand, noticing your eyes unfocus as your mind wanders.
you look up to him, taking in a shaky breath as you reach up to cup his jaw in your hand. immediately he leans into it, a deep sigh leaving his nose as he practically deflates at your touch.
“when did you get back…?”
he sighs, looking up at you through his lashes.
“i came here as soon as i came back through the portal… malachi was on patrol and spotted me at the gates.” his eyes grow distant. “he was… pretty angry with me. looked like he wanted to kill me as soon as i walked in the village.”
he chuckles dryly, looking at the wall behind you. “he cussed me out pretty good before leading me here. he had some good reasons for doing so, too…" he takes in a shaky breath. "i’m proud of him. i’m relieved to know he was watching over you when i wasn’t. that kid’s grown up to be a good man.”
“he is.” you agree, voice quiet in the moment, unable to come up with any words.
his hand drifts to brush your hair behind your ear, fingers trailing to brush along your jaw. “you have plenty of reasons to hate me, too.”
“he doesn’t hate you.” you quickly say. “and i don’t either.”
“i was scared you would. sure you would.”
your eyes drift from the guilty pull of his brow and the pain in his eyes, down to the slope of his nose and the curve of his mouth.
“i couldn’t.” you whisper, before leaning down and connecting your lips with his.
he wraps his arms tighter around you, breath stuttering as he returns the affection. very quickly it evolves to you being left breathless as he practically devours you, kissing you like a man who had been starved of his lover's touch for three years.
reluctantly he pulls away, gritting his teeth as he once again finds himself reigning his self control in with you. he doesn’t go too far though, his huffs of air meeting your lips as he whispers.
“it’s late. i should go.”
“go where?”
“just the inn down the road—”
“no. stay here tonight.”
he stares at you before closing his eyes, a low groan leaving his throat. “are you sure?”
“yes.” you quickly respond, hands cupping his face.
he gulps, before pulling you tightly to himself and lifting you in his arms, carrying you to your bedroom.
“okay. i’ll stay.”
©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.
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