#I told my parents that I was just *thinking* about celebrating my bday with my friends

[hinsaa-paramo-dharma]

Birthday se pehle kalesh hona is an important part of the event. ☠️

[masonmyluv]

Birthday present - Pedri Gonzalez

A/N: A little something I wrote for his bday🤭 Happy birthday to this cutie aka Pedri Potter Gonzalez Lopez 💙🎉

Warnings: smut 18+ 🔞🔞🔞

"Pablo, I told you I don't want to celebrate"

"But it's your birthday!"

"We have an important game tomorrow" Pedri said. "So? We should at least sing you happy birthday" Pablo said, dragging Pedri inside the locker room. Pablo double-checked your text earlier, saying that you landed safely and were about to pick the cake.

"Happy birthday!!!" Everyone yelled when Pedri entered the room. "Yeah thanks guys" he smiled. "Happy birthday my guy" Ferran said, hugging him. "W-what..." Pedri was at loss of words when he noticed you behind Ferran's back. "Surprise" you giggled. "How... you..." he was at loss of words as he pulled you into a tight hug. "I feel betrayed" Ferran joked. "Missed you" Pedri whispered into your neck. "Missed you too, my love" you said, pecking his lips. "Happy" kiss "birthday" kiss "to the best" kiss "boyfriend" kiss "in the world" kiss.

"Okay get a room" Ferran shouted. "You brought cake?" Pedri asked. "Yes, and everyone is allowed to eat" Xavi said, already on his second slice, which he thought no one saw, but you did. Hehe. Everyone sat down, eating cake, all except Pedri. He was looking at you and playing with your fingers. "You okay? The cake is really good" you said, mouth full of cake. "Yeah... just happy you're here" he said, kissing the top of your head. "You don't seem really happy" Pablo butted in. "Tomorrow I'll be at the game wearing your t-shirt" you whispered. "And tomorrow I'll give you the other present" you added so that no one could hear. "Now he's smiling" Pablo smirked. "I wonder what you told him". "Nothing" Pedri replied too fast. "Mhm" Pablo said. You shot him a look, but couldn't be mad at him. After all, he was the one who helped you plan the surprise for your boyfriend, so you were thankful to have a friend like him.

—— day of the game ——

"Good luck, guapo" you whispered, kissing him passionately. "Mhm... don't want to let you go" he said, hands squeezing your ass. "Get a room" Ferran shouted. "I promise. Tonight" you said, pecking his lips again. Little did he know you will be busy that night, but not in the sexy way.

After the game, in which he scored, you were on your way to his place. "Are you okay? You don't seem that excited after a goal" you asked. You knew something was wrong with him since you kissed him after the game. Usually, he would talk you through the whole game, but now he was surprisingly quiet. "No, sorry, I really am. But..." he said. "I wish my parents were here. And Fer. He didn't even wish me happy birthday" he said and you could cry in that moment, telling him that they were waiting for him at home. "Oh Pedri, I'm sure he will" you said, texting Fer that you were on the way. This man, this man right here made your ovaries explode at how much he cared about his family. "I wish they were at the game too. Together with you. Supporting me. But they said they were too busy to fly here" he said thought greeted teeth. You bit your tongue, not wanting to ruin the surprise, but he was making it hard. Fucking ovaries, slow down. "They said they'll come in the weekend, no?" You asked. "Yeah, but it's not the same thing" he said defeated, parking the car. "Hey... look at me. It's your birthday and they love you, I'm sure they have something for you" you said, pecking his lips. "I hope you're right".

"Sorpresaaaa!!!"

Pedri remained like a statue in the door when he saw his family inside his house. "Don't you think we forgot about your birthday, you fucking idiot!" Fer said, hugging his brother. "You're an idiot" he repeated, fighting his little brother. Pedri then went to hug his parents. "If it wasn't for Y/N..." Fer said, bringing his attention back to you. "It was her idea. All this. And we were her accomplices" Fer grinned. Pedri ran to hug you tightly, whispering just how much he loves you. "I love you too, guapo. Now, let's celebrate" you said as Fer handed you a glass of champagne.

You talked with his mom about the match, then Pedri was curious how they couldn't make it to the game. Their flight got delayed, but you had this brilliant idea to wait for him home. "Wow... my girlfriend is really special, isn't she?" Pedri said, kissing the top of your head. "And now she'll say oh no, I didn't do anything" Ferran said, imitating your voice. "Hey!" You pouted, but still laughed at his joke.

"Hey! Where is the birthday boy?" Ferran asked after you had dinner. The birthday boy was sucking his girlfriend's face in the kitchen. "Tell me they aren't sleeping here" Pedri asked, sucking on your neck. "No. They're staying at Fer. Be patient, Pedri" you said, pushing him away. "I want you, amor" he whispered. "I know. I want to properly wish you a happy birthday too" you said, hugging him. "Ah he's here, where else he could be?" Fer said, seeing your flushed faces. "Slow down, cabron. We'll leave in a minute" Fer said. You bid your goodbyes to his family, promising to have breakfast with them in the city. "If you won't be busy" Fer winked before the left.

"Finally" Pedri said, hungrily kissing you. "Pedri... stop" you said, pushing him away. "What? Did I do something?" He asked panicked. "No, I just want to properly give you my present" you giggled, taking his hand and running to your shared bedroom. "Just wait here and be naked" you winked before disappearing into the bathroom to put on the new set of lingerie you bought special for this occasion. Meanwhile, Pedri undressed himself until his boxers, impatiently waiting for you. "You ready?" You asked from the bathroom. "Yeah..." he replied instantly.

"Fuck baby... I could come in my pants right now" he groaned, as you cat walked to him, pushing him down on the mattress. "What do you like more, Papi?" You asked, pulling his boxers down and eyeing him up and down. "Fuck me" he groaned as you sat on his thigh. "What do you like, Papi?". "Those panties, princess. I can feel you dripping on me" he smirked and you blushed. "Let me make you feel good, papi" you said, kneeling in front of him. "You wanna suck me? Come get it" he smirked as you lowered your lips to brush against his tip. He shuddered as you lips wrapped around him. "Looks so good princess. My cock into your pretty mouth" he said. When he hit the back of your throat, you both let out a moan. "Fuck baby... just like that" he praised, fucking your face. Your nails dug into his thighs, leaving marks behind, but he didn't care. He wanted you to mark him up for everyone to see.

"Let me give you your present Papi" you pouted when he pulled out of your mouth. "Wanna come inside your pussy, baby. Now lay back and relax" he said, dipping his head into your core. "But Papi, it's supposed to be about you tonight" you moaned as he pleasured you with his tongue. "It's also about you, mi amor" he said. "Giving me, hm, let's say, 5 orgasms" he said. "It's too much, Papi" you moaned, already close to the first one. "I know you can. You're my good girl" he said, sucking harshly on your clit, triggering your orgasm. "Fuck Pedri..." you moaned when he pushed a finger inside. "So sweet for me, love" he praised, seeing how you closed your eyes in pleasure when he added another finger into your hole. "F-fuck..." you moaned again, his fingers brushing your G-spot. "Orgasm number 2 incoming" he chuckled as you rode his fingers and came.

"Papi please fuck me" you said as he teased your hole with the tip of his dick. "I'll fuck you so good, baby... you won't be able to walk tomorrow" he said. "Good thing you have the day free" you said as he pushed all the way in. "So tight and warm" he praised, moving a little to test the waters. But after two orgasms, you were more than ready to take him, so he thrusted harder. While he fucked your cunt, he suck on your breasts, pleasuring your hardening nipples while you were a moaning mess. "Orgasm number 3... let go, love" he said and you moaned louder as you came on his dick. He pulled out, waiting for you to regain your breath before flipping you on your stomach. "Pepi... can't" you whined as he helped you on all fours. "I know you can" he said, harshly slapping your ass. "You're my good good girl" he said, plunging himself back into you. You moaned, over sensitive, his dick feeling much deeper as he fucked you from behind. "Papi... fuck..." you moaned as he continued slapping your ass. "Take it like a good girl" he groaned and you could feel his breath on your neck. "You're doing so good for the birthday boy" he praised, pressing a kiss to your ear. "Only for you, Pedri" you moaned, feeling another orgasm coming. "Yes, baby, only I can fuck you like this" he groaned as he felt you clenching again. "Let go when you're ready, love" he whispered. You cried as you came and he spilled himself into you, breathing heavily. He didn't pull out right away and you knew why. You squirted all over him, your wetness dripping down your legs. He finally pulled away, helping you on your back as you were too embarrassed of what just happened. "I'm... I'm sorry" you shuttered, seeing what a mess you made on the bed. "Love, hey... that's the best present you could've given me" he said, pecking your lips. "I'm helping you clean yourself yeah?" He asked and you nodded, him bringing a wet cloth to wipe everything off.

"The best present ever" he said as you laid your head on his chest. "Happy birthday, Pedri. Love you so much" you yawned. "Love you too, baby. You still have to give me one orgasm, so don't forget about that" he chuckled. "Of course, Pepi. But I have to rest, you know" you said, blushing. "I know" he smirked. "Night Pepi" you said, falling asleep on his chest as he played with your hair. "Night, love" he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

— next morning —

"Mhmm Pedri" you moaned as his head was between your legs again. "Pedri!" "What?" He asked. "We had to have breakfast with your parents" you said as he continued pleasuring you with his tongue. "I'm having my breakfast right now" he smirked, licking your wetness. "Fuck... we'll go after this" you moaned. "If you're able to walk, love" he grinned. "Pedri... fuck" you moaned as you came on his face. "And that's the fifth orgasm. You're welcome" he grinned, hugging you. "Te amo, Papi" you whispered. "Still want to go?" He asked. "No" you yawned, cuddling into his chest. "Good. Prepare for a lot of teasing from Ferran" he laughed. "I don't care when I have you" you mumbled. "I know. Me neither. Plus, he's jealous he ain't got a chick in his bed" he joked. "Good thing you have" you replied. "I have a girlfriend and that's even better" he said, pecking your lips.

Hope you like it 🩷

[storiesfromafan]

Hear me out bennyxreader where they meet on readers birthday and Benny offers her a ride as a bday gift and he says “I ain’t got much, but I can offer you freedom” Like AGGHHH I might take my own spin on this when I can stop cackling at the thought, but I NEED NEED NEED to read your take on this scenario ❤️❤️❤️ p.s. only take this on when you can. I don’t want to make you feel obligated to do it 🥺

A/N: Well I finally did it, I finally finished and revised/edited my take on your request. As I told you, I didn't do it as if they met on the readers birthday, but an established friendship of sorts haha. I hope you like @strayrockette :)

I'm not sure what I think about this, but I will stick with it lol. Pls dont come for me if it's not that good lol.

Warnings: I took inspo from Sixteen Candles haha.

Birthday Girl

A birthday is meant to be a celebration of one’s birth. To be celebrated by those nearest and dearest to you. And that had been what you had hoped for. Unfortunately, that was not what you got. The week leading up to your birthday was chaos. Your older sister had come home with her fiancé. His parents, and both sets of your Grandparent’s, had come into town just the day before, for a family meeting/engagement dinner. Which was arranged tonight, on your birthday. So, this special day for you was now to be shared with your sister.

But your special day, was not special. It wasn’t even acknowledged by any of your family. Oh, you think they were too busy fussing over your sister and the engagement family dinner? No, I mean that no one – not even your mother, whom gave birth to you – didn’t even realise it was your birthday! No one wished you a Happy Birthday when you came down to breakfast. There were no presents waiting for you. Nothing.

Throughout the day you even dropped hints. You questioned if you looked older. You talked about last year’s birthday. You even mentioned liking a particular cake for your birthday. And absolutely nothing! They all forgot your birthday.

Once it sunk in, you spent the day on autopilot. Mixture of anger, annoyance and hurt. But you didn’t expect something like this to happen. Maybe more your birthday being toned down. Or something small during the day, as not to take away from your sisters engagement dinner, and do something bigger the next day. Any of that would have been fine with you. But nope. Not happening.

Then to add salt into your wound, your Grandmothers ganged up on you. They spent moments of the day giving back handed compliments. Such as you have such a lovely physique (Y/N), but you would look better in a dress! Show off that waist! Or you have such a beautiful face, but with some makeup it would enhance it. They couldn’t accept you were a woman who chose slacks over skirts, boots over heels. Or that you enjoyed getting your hands dirty working on cars and bikes. That last bit of information almost gave the women heart attacks.

You were a tomboy. Always have been. And your dad never minded, one less boy crazed daughter to raise. Rather he got to do male stuff with you, and you learnt some helpful and useful information from him. You were the apple of his eye, while your sister was your mother’s. And you were fine with it.

But back to the story at hand; your twenty-fourth birthday being forgotten. When it came to get ready to go to dinner, you were cornered by all the women currently in your house to for-go slacks, in favour of a dress. Reluctantly you gave in, you sister and mother being the ones to pick out a baby blue swing dress, that had a round neckline which showed a bit of collar bone. Your mother being the one to tie the bow at the back, saying how lovely you looked in the dress. Thankfully your sister did your makeup, just simple; light powder, mascara and a bit of lipstick. Half your hair was swept up, and held with a pearl clip. Finally, you were given a pair of flats by your sister for the night.

Now you looked like every women in that house, picture perfect feminine species. You didn’t hate how you looked, you thought you looked beautiful. But you hated how you kind of wanted this. But maybe your own version? Mixing feminine and masculine elements to better fit you.

Dinner went well. You got complicated by everyone that saw you, saying how much you and your sister looked alike now. Like this was a permanent fixture. And it soured your mood. Which was already lack lustre due to everyone forgetting your birthday. By the time dessert and coffee came around, you were done. Done with the jabs at your tomboy look, saying how you looked much better tonight. Done with how everyone fussed over your sister and her fiancé. And you were done with this day. You were ready for it to be tomorrow, an every other day.

When you all finally left the restaurant, all intending to go back to your house for a night cap, you were left to get a lift back with one set of Grandparents. So, as soon as you left the carpark you tried to drop hints on what today was. And just like your parents, they didn’t realise.

“Can you drop me off here?” You said with a sigh. “I don’t feel like goin’ home right away”.

Your Grandmother looked at you with annoyance. “But it’s your sisters engagement!”

Once again you sighed. “Oh I know. I’ve been reminded over and over all day, and tonight!” You’d just stopped at a red light, taking advantage of this and getting out, but not before getting the last word in. “It’s not like it’s someone else’s special day, or anythin’!”

You slammed the car door before storming away from them. Once there was a few blocks distance, you slowed down. Letting your anger fizzle out, replaced with sadness yet again. Grandparents aren’t meant to forget their Grandchildren’s birthday. Sad, hurt and feeling low, you made it to the bar.

There were rows of bikes, loud voices and music coming from the building. That was when you realised how you looked, like a doll. Groaning you knew the Vandal men were about to point out how girly you looked, and make you the butt of many jokes. Was it worth it? Or would walking home, then dealing with the drama there, be better? Knowing that you’d get a lecture for not only getting out of a car at red light, but being disrespectful too.

Squaring your shoulders and taking a deep breath you entered the bar. It was louder on the inside, voices booming in laughter all over the room. You started to make your way past bodies, looking for anyone to sit with. Then you spotted Kathy and a few other women. With a relieved sigh, you made you way over there.

But suddenly, a set of hands grabbed you by the waist, pulling you back with a laugh. “Hey, you lookin' for a man?”

You turned and saw it was Corky. He looked tipsy, and from the way he swayed a little, it was obvious. Then his face dropped in confusion. He even leaned in a bit. Then it hit him.

“(Y/N)?!” He asked in shock.

You stood tall, projecting your usual confident and laid back nature. “Yeah?”

Then Corky slowly began to laugh, an amused look upon his face. “What are you wearin’!?”

Those that were around heard him loud and clear, their eyes turning to you both. Wahoo came staggering up next, placing an arm over Corky to prop himself up. When he turned to you, it was the same thing as with Corky, only he was louder and that drew even more attention to you.

Both males laughed at you. Asking if you lost a bet. You felt your face heat up at their words and all the attention. Thankfully Johnny came over, wanting to check out the commotion. Seeing you Johnny was surprised, but he was kinder then those before you, or the others that had joined in on their laughter.

“Alright, alright” said Johnny getting the men’s attention, and them to settle down. “Is this any way to treat a woman?”

That made the men laugh once again.

Johnny sighed before shouting. “Enough! Give it a rest. Ya don’t act like this with any other women. So, knock it off!”

The laughter died down yet again, and for good. You looked around at all the men, that was when you noticed the one person you had hoped to not witness this exchange: Benny. He stood not far from the pool table, his usual place to be. He and Cal shared a look, and a few words, before looking back to you. If you weren’t embarrassed before, you were now, since the man you’ve been crazy about since you started working at the bar, had seen everything.

Your first shift at the bar, thankfully started in the afternoon, before it got too busy. You had been given a run down on how to run the bar, where everything was and advised to not show any fear to the men. With that you were left to tend the bar, while the other employee sorted out the supplies in the back. You had just been serving beers, which was easy. You had just given Cal his beer when you herd the most heart stopping gravelly voice.

“Beer please”.

You grabbed the requested drink, popping the lid before placing on the bar before the man. When you lifted your eyes, they met the most beautiful stormy blue eyes. Those eyes held you in place, your brain forgetting to function. Then you noticed his gorgeous face; his jawline that was covered in stubble, full lips. Let’s not forget the messy blonde locks on his head either. Over all a stunning man.

He took a swig of the beer before nodding, “thanks”.

And he was off back to the pool table. Clinking his bottle with Cal – by the jukebox – in passing. You watched Benny and another Vandal play a game of pool, in between serving customers. You admired his arms every time he took a shot. Or how he would focus on the ball he was aiming at. You were completely smitten with him.

Over time you got to know Cal, after he mentioned building bikes. From there you were able to see his work, and eventually work on them too. Cal was nice, like an older brother to you. And being that you both were close, he’d bring you into conversations when you were walking around cleaning tables, collecting bottles and glasses. That was how you got to talk to Benny.

Benny wasn’t one to talk much. But he’d tell stories, and you’d listen to every word, hanging on for dear life. What surprised you was when he would listen when you talk about working on bikes with Cal. The way he would look at you as he listened, it made it hard to keep your thoughts in check and your tongue moving.

There were a few times both Cal and Benny stood up for you. A few other Vandals laughed and made jokes when you’d been talking about a particular bike that Cal had you help him with. Their comments were sexist and crude. Both men did not take kindly to it, and helped their club mates change their tunes. Fists were thrown, and black eyes on faces. That was the day you knew Benny was a friend. Even if just that hurt your heart, because from that moment you’d fallen for him.

“Now then” Johnny said, bringing you back to him. “Don’t ya all have somethin’ to say?”

You had thought it was an apology. How wrong and surprised you were.

It was like every Vandal and Vandal adjacent was watching you and cheered: “Happy Birthday!”

You stood there shocked. Of all the people to wish you a happy birthday, you didn’t think a bar full of bikies would be them. You found it hard to speak, feeling overwhelmed. But a warm, happy smile broke out on your face, and then you laughed.

“Thank you!” You said sincerely.

Johnny smiled, as he patted you on the back before walking off. Slowly the men around you returned to what they were doing. You looked to Cal and Benny, who smiled and raised their beers at you, before going back to the pool table. Taking a deep breath, you quickly moved over to Kathy and the women.

“What an entrance” she commented. “And who would of thought these animals could be nice, wishin’ ya a happy birthday”.

“Yeah, I’m surprised” you said shaking your head.

“Johnny heard it was ya birthday, and told all the men to be nice and say it if ya come in” replied Betty. “But I didn’t expect that”. She laughed.

You figured Johnny did it to defuse the situation, or the joke of you being all dolled up. You could see men around the bar looking at you, whispering to each other and then laughing. You knew they were making jokes. None of them had ever seen you is anything but t-shirts, slacks, boots and dirt, and grease.

Thankfully the women around you changed the topic, and you all talked about anything and everything. It was nice. Forgetting, even for a little while, what had happened leading up to this moment. You felt a little more relaxed, and when Cal brought you a beer, that helped too. Actually you got a few beers from various Vandals, with another happy birthday.

“So, tell us about ya birthday” Betty said, putting her pop bottle on the table. “Did you get spoilt” she giggled.

You felt like a bucket of water had been thrown over you, washing away the little joy you had managed to feel. Only now to be reminded of what your day was like. You stiffly took a swig from your beer bottle, eyes down cast and face blank. All the women shared a concerned look.

“Ya alright?” Asked Kathy, placing a hand over yours when it came to rest on the table.

You shrugged. “It wasn't the best...”

“Wanna to talk about it?” She asked you softly.

And that began the retelling of your day. Starting from when you got up to jumping out of your Grandparents car. You expressed how hurt you had been for being forgotten, as well as pushed to the side for your sister. How the women of your family had an issue with your tomboy attire. And how they had dressed you, like some child’s doll.

“I just...I can't believe today of all days they forgot its my damn birthday!” You said, voice thick with sadness and hurt. “I would have settled for a happy birthday from any of them...but no...”

The lady’s around you all shared a look. Kathy leant over and gave you a one armed hug, telling you how sorry she was you felt like this and it wasn’t right they forgot. You felt the tears rising but willed them back. Throat was tight and dry, so you downed the last of your beer.

“I need a moment to freshen up” you muttered, moving to stand.

You’d just gotten up and straightened out your dress, when Fat Jack – or Big Jack – and another Vandal came walking past. If you hadn’t stood up they would have past by no problem, but instead Jack bumped into you. Which made his buddy bump into him.

Jack growled in annoyance before setting his eyes on you. “Watch it Princess” he sneered. His buddy laughing.

“Ah, s-sorry” you stuttered, which never happened before. But with everything you’re feeling you couldn’t stop yourself.

He huffed. “Whatever Princess. Do us a favour and get ya girly mind out of the clouds. But I’ll say, this is a much better look for ya. More acceptable”. They both roared with laughter.

“Oh shut it” retorted Kathy. “And no need to be an ass”.

That made them laugh harder, and you crack more. Mixed with hurt and anger, you grabbed your bag before taking off through the bar and out the main doors. You heard Kathy calling your name but didn’t care. You were done. That was the last straw. You were a walking joke. Not to mention easily forgotten. Great birthday you had.

Crossing the road you felt a few tears escaped as you tried to keep yourself in check. Which was proving harder to do. You heard the bar doors open but didn’t pay them mind. Not until you heard your name being called. That was when you snapped, having enough of it all.

“What!?” You cried as you spun around with a glare aimed for whoever was behind you.

The person crossing the road to you was none other than Benny. Which for a moment confused you, before disappearing. Why was it him who had to come after you? And see you like this, a mess?.

“Ya alright? I heard Kathy callin' after you but ya didn’t stop” he said softly, concern written on his face. “I saw Jack and his buddy by your table laughin'”.

You laughed. “I’m fine, just dandy. And don’t get me started on that sack of shit”.

“What did he say or do? Tell me” Benny got serious, ready to go to bat for you.

You sighed in frustration. Frustration over everything, but currently Benny being here. Like he cared, like he cared for you. You back up laughing slightly like a lunatic.

“What do ya care? You’ve never cared before” you said in frustration.

“I care. I always care” Benny replied, face softening.

Once more you laughed. “Alright, ya want to know. He called me princess, and said this” – you gestured to your dress – “is a much better look for me. More acceptable. Then don’t get me started on my f-family”. You choked by the end, seething with anger but also hurting too.

Benny straightened, fists clenched. But it softened at the mention of your family. “What happened with them?”

You sighed, releasing most of your anger and allowing the sadness to seep back in. Remembering how they made you feel. “They forgot my birthday...no happy birthday, no present, n-no n-nothing...”

Half way through your explanation you began to cry, it all finally crashing down on you. You placed a hand over your mouth as you cried, holding in the noises that threaten to come out. You lent forward, tilting your head down.

“(Y/N)...” Benny said gently, trying to get your attention.

You looked up at him with your crying eyes. “I’m s-sorry...I must l-look a mess” you stated trying to pull yourself together, while whipping away your tears.

But it only made you cry more. That was when the unexpected happened: Benny pulled you into his chest. He wrapped an arm around your back, while his other hand cradled your head to his chest. For the next however long Benny held you, you cried into his chest. Hands gripping his t-shirt as you let it out. He rubbed your back, making soothing sounds. Had someone told you the day before you’d be spending your birthday crying on Benny, you’d have laughed at how unlikely it would be the happen. But here you were.

You pulled back from Benny, avoiding his face and his baby blues. “S-sorry...” you muttered, stepping back till Benny’s hands were resting on your shoulders.

“Don’t be. I get it. It’s been a shit day” he said with sympathy. “I’m sorry they forgot ya birthday”.

“Thanks...” you replied softly. “I guess I’m glad my Vandal family didn’t forget” you chuckled.

“Yeah, I told Johnny the other day it was ya birthday. He made sure to let the men know”.

You looked at Benny’s face with surprise. “You told Johnny?”

He nodded, moving to stick his hands in his jacket pockets. “Yeah, I heard ya mention it the other day...”

You looked at the man before you with astonishment. “Thank you, really”.

“It’s nothin'. Just a bunch of people wishin' ya a happy birthday” he chuckled. “I didn’t get ya a present” – and idea hit him – “I ain’t got much, but I can offer you freedom”.

Shooting Benny a confused look, he gestured his head towards his bike. He was offering to take you anywhere you wanted to go, to get away from the bar, from this night. You smiled at him and nodded, not trusting your voice. Benny began to walk towards his bike, you following behind him. He got on first, kick starting it to life. The roar was music to your ears, and soothing for the soul. Benny held out a hand, which you reluctantly took, before swinging a leg over the bike.

At that moment the bar doors opened, and out came some Vandals, including Cal, Corky and Wahoo. Among them was Kathy, who looked worried until she saw you with Benny. She was relieved to see you were alright, looking better then when you left. They hooted and hollered as you sat behind Benny. You blushed at them watching you both.

“Better tuck your dress under ya” suggested Benny. “And when ya done, better wrap your arms around me and hold on, yeah?”

You did as instructed with your dress, putting your bag between you both as you leaned closer to him. Wrapping your arms around Benny’s waist, you felt your face heat up more. Once your hands were secure, Benny put up the kick stand before moving from the curb. You could see Kathy’s amused face. As well as hear Cal and Corky yelling, one of them saying about time. Yet you didn’t get what they meant.

“Meet on the express way!” Called Corky.

With that you both rode down the street. Benny took you around the streets. Letting you get a feel for riding on a his bike with him, also to give the others time to get on their bikes and make it to the expressway. You enjoyed the feel of the cool air on your face, and how it made your hair fly. And you enjoyed being close to Benny. A man who had made sure the Vandals knew it was your birthday. You smiled resting your cheek to his back.

As Corky said, coming to the express way it wasn’t long before the Vandals joined you both. It was a sight to see, all the bikes together. The passing light of street lamps illuminating them, letting anyone see for a brief moment their bikes. Benny said he’d give you freedom and he did. You softly laughed feeling content for the first time today. And it was thanks to him and your Vandal family.

Once you’d run the expressway, the Vandals headed back to the bar, while Benny kept going. He knew you needed a longer ride. So he rode around until it was three in the morning. That was when he pulled up out front of your house. Coming to a stop at the curb, Benny put down the kickstand before turning off the bike, leaving the street in an eerie silence. You sat for a few minutes, just letting it all sink in. Then Benny held out his hand, which you took and were grateful for the help off the bike.

You staggered but thankfully Benny was there to grab your arm. Once it was safe to let you go, he did. He then got off his bike himself, but lent back on it, watching you closely. You smiled at him, not brightly but enough to know you were in better spirits.

“Thanks for that. It’s just what I needed” you chuckled.

Benny smiled warmly at you. “Any time, ya just gotta ask”.

You nodded your head, smile widening at his words. “I’ll hold ya to it”.

Now it was Benny who nodded and chuckled.

You had been thinking while on the back of his bike, and wanted to ask him what was on your mind. But wasn’t sure how. As if sensing it, Benny asked you what’s on ya mind?

“I want to know...why did you remember my birthday, and tell Johny?”

Benny laughed softly, eyes shining with amusement. “It’s it obvious?” – You shook your head – “Because I like you, (Y/N)”.

That surprised you. Benny Cross liking you. You wanted to pinch yourself but reframed from it. If this was a dream you don’t want to be woken up. You blushed, feeling shy all of a sudden. Which Benny found adorable.

“Really?” You questioned softly. “But I’m a tomboy...this is just a one off...”

Benny smiled brightly, getting up from his bike and moving before you. His hand moving to lift your chin. “I’ve always liked ya. Slacks, dirt, grease and all”.

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. He liked you for you, and not the princess you were right now. Smiling brightly you lent up and placed a kiss upon Benny’s cheek. You stepped back, about to turn around and head to your front door.

But Benny’s hand grabbed your arm stopping you. He cupped your cheek before leaning down and pressing his slightly chapped lips to yours. The kiss was chaste and sweet. But still had you melting. Benny pulled back, running his thumb down and along your jaw as he gave you a soft smile.

“Now that’s a way to show someone ya like them back” he said amused. Which made you blush.

This time you stepped back and Benny let you go. He watched you walk to your front door before unlocking it. Standing in the doorway, you looked to the man of your dreams and gave him a beaming smile. With a goodnight from you both, you closed and locked the front door before leaning against it. You waited for the roar of his bike and the sound of him riding off down the street before you moved from your spot.

For a day that had been the worst, it ended on the best possible outcome. And you couldn’t wait to see Benny again. Or go for a ride with him either. As if you were floating, you went to your room and went to bed. No doubt dreaming about your dreamy Vandal.

[stylespresleyhearted]

CCG - LUCI’S 3RD BIRTHDAY

In honor of the great @blainesebastian ‘s birthday here’s a little instagram compilation I’ve conjured up for our adored CCG nation <3 Austin, CCG, and Luci we miss and love ya’ll forever and Mccall you are a brilliant mind whom I will adore until the end of time! Have the bestest birthday ever, you deserve nothing less!

—————-

liked by coffee.girl, salmahayek, and 20,342 others

enews And the Best Dad Award goes to ….! In honor Austin Butler and Y/N’s little girl turning three today let’s take a look back at our favorite moments of Austin Butler being the best dad ❤️ link in bio for full video of second slide.

view all comments

austinfan18 video of luci running into austin’s arm after two weeks apart you will always be famous!

butlerishh him throwing her in the air LMAO LUCI WAS NOT HAVING FUN

ccgfan HA fr luci was looking at her mom to save her

iloveaustin Can we talk about how proud his mom would be about what a great parent he is?

sharonbleu Austin even has Salma Hayek up in the likes 😉

liked by austinbutler, priscillapresley, and 872, 196 others

coffee.girl Celebrating Luci day should be every day tbh. 🦖💕👁️🐠🪷🌸☃️🥞 @austinbutler and I can’t believe we created this wonderful being, she had to have come from a lab of perfection.

view all comments

ashleytisdale Luci told me she’s from Pluto and I believe her. It’s the only logical explanation.

austinbutler Nice use of all of Luci’s favorite emoji’s, she’s going to be so proud. ❤️

jillian.mua The best thing you and Austin ever did and will ever do is have sex three years ago to give the world the best human to walk the Earth

coffee.girl JILLIAN!

ashleybee I’m disgusted but I get what she means

austinbutler Babe close your comment section please

chrisevans Happy bday to the one who is gonna prove aliens exist!

liked by austinbutler, bazluhrmann, and 20,807 others

people Luci Butler turns three today so we must not forget to credit her mother (and best friend) in a world where it seems moms get no recognition for being superhuman.

view all comments

user12 imagine using a 3 year olds bday to make some political womens movement statement. mom’s get plenty of recognition.

butlerfamupdates I actually applaud People Magazine for this. All day magazine’s have posted Austin’s cutest moments with Luci and talked about what a wonderful Dad he is - which no one would ever doubt to think he is - but Luci’s mom is very much present as well and deserves love too. Luci loves both her parents. It’s normal for a kid to have favorites, it doesn’t make the other parent ‘bad.’

ccgfan Y/N and Luci sharing their love for open water together and creating sea shell necklaces i cry

ccgfan1 You just know she’s the most supportive and loving mother! Austin and Luci are so lucky to have her!

liked by coffee.girl, austinbutler, and 341, 289 others

ashleytisdale happy birthday to Jupiter’s bestest friend in the whole wide world! We are so lucky to have you in our life Luci ❤️🦖✨

view all comments

coffee.girl the cutest besties 👯 🤣

fan23 ashley and aus are bffs now their daughters are too 😭

austinluv STOP my heart can’t take it

liked by ashleybee, ccgfan, and 34, 567 others

butlerfamupdates a cute little insight into Luci’s “THREE-REX” bday party! Posts and reposts from @austinbutler and @coffee.girl IG stories

view all comments

sugartreats Thank you for choosing us for her cakes and treats! The sweetest, most beautiful family 🙌🏼 #happybirthdayluci

fan34 so luc is like obsessed w dinos huh 🤔

fan33 austin literally calls her lil dino

fan45 u just know it was luci’s idea to put a tutu on the scary t rex LMAO

sugarcakes Oh it was! Her parents brought her in and Miss Luci was very specific with what she wanted haha

liked by ashleytisdale, oliviadejonge, and others

jillian.mua Happy birthday cool girl 🥳 I love you

view all comments

austinbutler vibin’

ashleybee oh gosh i wanna kiss those cheeks

oliviadejonge i wanna be her when i grow up ✨🥳

coffee.girl @austinbutler trendsetter 😂❤️

liked by austin12 and others

austinbnews via Austin’s IG story for Luci’s birthday! Happy birthday sweet Luci 🎂 ♥️

view all comments

austinfan23 she’s taking after her parents with her love of books 🥹

ccgfan yes Y/N and Austin built Luci her personal little library 😭

butlerupdates Austin taking a picture of Luci taking a picture of Y/N — ICONIC

liked by ashleebee, coffee.girl, and 1,235,096 others

austinbutler happy birthday lil dino ♥️

view all comments

coffee.girl … and she’s out for the count

jillian.mua @coffee.girl she had a busy day bossing everyone around

ashleytisdale @austinbutler please tell me you at least wiped the cake frosting off her face

austinbutler @ashleytisdale I’m not dealing with that tantrum when she wakes up

coffee.girl @austinbutler neither am I smart move

ashleybee I LOVE HERRRR

LMAOOOO MCCALL WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY WORKING ON THIS BEFORE YOU TEXTED ME TODAY ASKING ABOUT LUCI ?!???? OUR BRAINSSS INTERCONNECTED 🙌🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️ happy birthday mccall love you and your little universe and luci and ccg so much you’re awesome

[yyawnjun]

FIREPLACE

happy late bday lia <3 @sobun1est ; hope this year will bring you many good memories, thank you for everything. ily !! ; here's a small story to celebrate you, it's a one-shot from this universe eheh ; queen!reader x courtgardener!jungwon ; fluff!! : 0.8k wc ; @kflixnet

The days after your coronation passed quickly, and you now found yourself in your room alone, preparing for yet another court dinner.

Even if you were tired of these events, you had to go. You understood the many duties that come with being a court queen very fast.

Still, you managed to keep part of your freedom as long as the maids and servants weren't always with you. However, you could still not tell your parents about your hidden love for Jungwon, the court gardener.

Now, it was late afternoon you had just come out of a hot bath: you were wearing a light floral dress, and your hair was still soaking wet. Your hair was dripping, and the drops of water slowly ran from the tips of your hair to the shoulders and down your back. The sensation was unpleasant, but not unpleasant enough to make you get up to go and dry it.

As you lay on the bed and let your thoughts wander, you heard someone knocking on the door, and shortly after the steward's voice announced the visitor. It was Jungwon, who, as a court gardener, had come to discuss with the queen about the creation of flower crowns for the events of the following days.

You fought hard not to smile when he entered to look as professional as possible. It was so obvious that he attempted to do the same.

After you let the steward go, you quickly run into Jungwons arms. He immediately hugged you tightly, slowly rubbing your back while whispering how much he missed you.

He started leaving quick kisses on your face as soon as your gaze met. One to your forehead, one to your nose, your lips... and his hands started wandering and touching your hair.

"Your hair is still wet, you might catch a cold," he told you

"Maybe, but you're here...so let's stay like this for a little bit longer," you said, not wanting him to go.

"I care too much for you to let you get sick, let me help you."

He took you by the hand and moved you next to the fireplace. He made you sit next to it and quickly moved to start the fire. You sat while you admired him roll up the sleeves of his shirt, revealing muscles all over his arms. Your eyes widened, and you assumed a happy expression. In the meantime, he was busy getting the wood and lighting the fire.

In those simple actions, you lost yourself in admiring his figure. His messy hair, cheeks slightly dirty from the soil, his forehead somewhat wet from sweat due to the sudden movement, his concentrated gaze, and veiled smile because he was doing all this for you.

"My queen, hello! the earth is calling you!" Jungwon said while moving his hand to your face while smiling. You suddenly come back from your daydreaming.

"Uhm yes, what did you say?"

"Can I use this towel?" he said, pointing at it and slowly leaning close to your face. You could feel the heat of his body next to your face.

"Yes sure, you can do whatever you want," you whispered, not being able to find your voice and reply to his simple question.

"Those words are such an honor coming from you," he replied giggling, and stealing again a kiss from you.

"Ugh, you look so gorgeous at this moment," he said looking at you with his big brown sparkly eyes.

"You think so?" you replied with a cheesy tone. And he nodded, a gradual smile spreading across his face.

"Don't look at me like that" he stated.

You wondered how you looked at that moment since he appeared to be the most ethereal person on the planet. He giggled and then threw at you the towel he was handing.

You couldn't see anything since the towel landed on your head. The towel was then gently moved away from your eyes and toward your hair by the touch you could feel.

As your vision came back, you saw that Jungwon was seated in front of you and was gently rubbing the towel over your hair.

The fire had been lit, and in a short time, your hair was already quite dry. You were now sitting in front of the fireplace, your head resting on his shoulder, and your gazes were lost in watching the fire.

He had his hand resting behind your back, and sometimes he moved to caress it. You could have stayed there for an endless amount of time, mesmerized by the fire's movements and the gentle touch between your two bodies.

Your faces drew closer as you exchanged another glance. There was a knock on the door before there was time for another kiss.

[bluelolblue]

My dad's bday party went well... it's a long story so I'll just say something that really fucking bothered me. So this is me yapping... but I won't go into details since it's a bit personal.

For the context, my parents have been divorced since I was 4.

Frist of all, I was at his celebration only because he's my dad, he helped me with driving me to college and gave me some stuff, and I knew it would mean a lot to him.

Of course that at his bday, there was his girlfriend and her son, who is 24, I think (he is 5 years older than me). And yeah, I greeted her because I was being polite to everyone, but I ignored her for the rest of the evening. But her son? Pff, I didn't bother. He didn't even come to greet me and honestly good bc I couldn't care less. Btw this was the first time I've seen them ever since I was like... 8/9? I stopped visiting my dad after some time because of her. But it was always my fault, of course, I was the problem. That's what I was told recently.

Anyway, I don't like them. Neither dad's side of the family because I DON'T feel like a part of the family. I never did. I'm not like them either. "Family gift" and I wasn't even told about it. At least someone could've texted me, but no. They got him a lawnmower, omg IMAGINE. My gift was way better because it was from ME, it was from HIS ONLY CHILD, HIS DAUGHTER. Btw, I AM the first grandchild. And I don't get much respect for that.

But hey... at least a childhood friend from there wanted to talk to me, which surprised me since I hadn't seen him IN YEARS. And the food was yummy, I just didn't eat much bc I was nervous. And the cake was nice.

Yeah. I just don't belong there :]

[summercreolefanfictioner]

ayo it's my favorite girl's bday (tw: trauma, nsfw)

maya sakamaki: birthday headcanons

maya doesn't usually celebrate her birthday tho

she might've celebrated her own bday as a child, happily chanting the happy bday song before making a wish and blowing the candles

but the thing is on her 7th bday, her parents sold her to a brothel. that's why all her bday could remind her of is that "you exist to be sold"

so ever since then, maya has never thought of holding a party or telling people her bday

ofc her former master, gilbert feinze, knew when her bday is but since she doesn't want to celebrate, gilbert just makes her take a week off from her duties as a vampire doll

but now that she's married to kanato and has become a full-fledged vampire, she thinks there's no reason to remember her bday anymore like why would she? vampires live longer than humans and age slower than them so there's no reason for her to remember her age or something

that's what maya thought until yui encouraged her to celebrate her bday even once to commemorate her being alive or something like "it's the day you were born so you should be glad about it" (ofc yui how easy to say those words huhu)

so maya bought like two magazines from the nearby convenience store to check for bday celebration tips until she heard these two girls talking abt what kind of present they wanted from their boyfriend

"Hmm... I want my boyfriend to be my present, though?"

"Eh? Like him in a birthday suit?"

"Yeah. It's hot, for me at least."

and so maya went home, turned on her laptop, and searched for this thing they called birthday suit and voila the next thing she's browsing on the infamous yellow and black website (p*rn I don't wanna spell out for you)

ya know what this girl did? fvcking watched the whole scene and got intrigued by the story 😭😭😭 she even made popcorn

but yeah she also immediately turned it off once the sex part started bcos she thinks it's disgusting

and so maya decided not to celebrate her bday after all

yeah that was the decision until kanato (along with ayato and laito) went home from demon world and surprise surprise! HE KNOWS WHEN HER BIRTHDAY IS

so she was still asleep on their bed when kanato kissed her head and woke her up, presenting a huge box along with a 2-tier birthday cake that looked like it came from a vintage movie bcos of its white icing with pink swirls and skewed handwriting

and to her surprise, he was wearing a black suit

"Happy birthday, Maya-san," he whispered in her ear with a smile so genuine you wouldn't believe it's kanato. "I made this gift for you. I hope you'll wear it to our mini tea party that I had prepared."

and so the familiars started dressing her up in this white poofy dress with her hair tied up in a bun and matching fancy hat leather mary janes, and white lace gloved; yes she basically is dressed as a white victorian lady

truth be told, there was an elegant tea party set by kanato and maya felt that something strange will happen (even though there are times when kanato is just 'behaved') bcos there was an eerie sense in the way the middle triplet smiles at her, observing her every move like a predator watching his prey

he presented her with a bday cake, simple with the words "happy bday, maya-san" on top and asked her to blow the candles, to which she did

and when they were eating cake, kanato decided to stand, take every piece away of food and tea from the table, and walk towards maya, kneeling in front of her as he held her chin

"I've been bothered by how pure and beautiful the dress I made you. I think it needs something."

in one swift move, maya was sprawled on the table with kanato hovering on top of her, and then he cut open the flesh from her exposed shoulders, spreading the blood all over her dress as he caught a whiff of her addicting scent

maya understood the reason behind his act, smiling mischievously as she untied the ribbon around his dress shirt's collar, exposing his neck to her

"I heard from Teddy you wanted to wear a birthday suit for your big day."

"Did I live up to your expectations, then?"

"No, Maya-san. You've become my reality."

after that, he bit her neck, sucking the blood out of her as she held his hand and bit on his finger, savoring each other's taste for pleasure bcos they knew no amount of food can satisfy their hunger

once done, kanato grinned, sitting on the chair as he pulled maya, making her sit on top of him. the bday cake was still intact as he presented it to her. she was a bloody mess of an art, looking down at him with unsatisfied eyes.

"Happy birthday, Maya-san. Bon appetit!"

[shadowredfeline]

Four in One Post

For a few Responses to my Filipino Friend

First Response

I know you haven't made a birthday pic for him since you have been busy with your family business, but you can always make him one as like a random drawing if anytime you feel like drawing Yinna the Panda, or have Shadow, Lisa, Lighting and Yinna hanging out together, or you can draw Lighting a bathing suit for her and she can go to the Beach with Yinna, Riya, May and Vanilla before Summer gets ready to end.

Second Response

My mom and i use Ebay a lot and i bet that'll be the perfect site to pick up a Banapassport online, and thank you so much for giving me a suggestion where to find a Banapassport. Especially i can find some that are brand new. And i know we understand Alex could be Naive about Maxi Tune. But i know much about it since i know i have played that game a couple of times besides playing Mario Kart Aracde GP Deluxe. And for the Wendy's Meal, i bet it'll be a nice choice to have anytime you want to visit AZ as well as for trying out their theme parks.

And for my Filipino Friend's On This Day Post

Looks cute for Murukir to be in Chowder's form, and if Chowder is out of the show, then we can have Murukir as a substitute. Much like i how i remember on Cartoon Network, i used to see two characters taking over someone's place. Like Marvin the Martian is taking over Double D, and the Mayor from PPG is taking over Numbuh 2's Place. And even when they say, Numbuh 2 is Sick or Double D is on Vacation, but i like the idea of having Cartoon Network characters trying to take someone's place. They should've done it in Modern Cartoon Network if it weren't from that stupid CEO of WBD. He ruins everything and without Cartoon Network, i'll have to Warner Bros. in Persona 6 or Warner Bros. in Persona 5 the Phantom X. But however, i would love to see Nickelodeon do something like that saying like with Spongebob, let's say Lincoln Loud took over Squidward's place and Stimpy took over Patrick's place. Like if i rewrote Choir Boys from Spongebob, let's say Stimpy kept Spongebob Company while Squidward goes to the Men's Choir, and Spongebob and Stimpy watch Squidward perform at a Choir Concert. And let's say when Squidward was Sick and took a time away from Spongebob, Lincoln Loud is wearing Squidward's Clothes and told Spongebob and Krabs that he's taking over. But i know a lot of people would think it'll be different when it comes to Wreck It Ralph where people leave their own game or show.

And for my A-Pal's On This Day Post.

You know i did a drawing like that too. Except it only just drew Shadow and Caleb since they were the only two that can do something really fun for DA. But normally i haven't done so many Anniversary stuff, but i have been doing a lot of DA Tutorials on depending on which one i would be drawing. Even Lisa does that kind of stuff too.

[angesaurus]

So basically this is “birthday week” - my husband, his sister, and my brother all have their birthday this week, 3 days in a row. And so Cecilia is like fascinated by this (plus we just had Gavin’s a couple weeks ago) because obviously we celebrated Dan’s and then we FaceTime her aunt and uncle and specifically told them happy birthday etc etc.

Now this is a 3 year old who has never had a birthday party (thanks pandemic) but has been to a bunch now. So she is VERY hyped to have a birthday party this summer. And so she asked “whose birthday is next” and I said “yours is” which is VERY TRUE even though it’s not until late July. Silly me. I should have taken out my calendar and gone over the months with her.

Well, of course being 3 she THOUGHT I MEANT NEXT AS IN THE DAY AFTER HER UNCLE. I get a text from her besties mom today after she dropped her girls off at daycare that Cecilia was telling her that her bday is tomorrow and she was so insistent and I didn’t believe her but she was soooooooooo confident now I’m second guessing myself???? And I was like oh no ���😂😂😂 So apparently she has telling everyone at school her birthday is tomorrow. The teachers know it is not but she told parents and kids.

Well I pick her up from school and 3 kids just swarm me and demand answers! IS CECE’S BIRTHDAY tomorrow and I had to tell them no. And Cecilia just had a freaking meltdown about it for a good 20 minutes and she thinks I’m lying because I TOLD HER that her BIRTHDAY IS NEXT AND THAT MEANS TOMORROW because 4 of the 9 people she knows the most have very close together birthdays in March. And I keep telling her very gently that while her birthday is the next one we will celebrate, it’s not until July and she should not expect door decorations or anything 😂😂😂😂 So we’ll see how the morning is 🫠

And what’s funny is Gavin is making his communion in May and while I’m not throwing him a party we are going out to a nice lunch with our families and a couple close friends… but obviously it’s to celebrate this milestone in Gavin’s life so this poor girl will once again be a guest at someone else’s party 😂 I clearly need to have a girls night with her or something!!!

[iiyanadesu]

This week I found out about the new Digimon 02 movie (02 The Beginning / 02TB), so I watched it! I was super lucky because this week is the last for movie showcase in my city. I cannot believe I almost missed it *exhales*

Some deets and thoughts under cut. Major spoilers ahoy. May contain wrong info and delusions. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

1. This movie focuses more on the movie MC rather than the 02 kids themselves. Disappointing but understandable, since unlike the Adventure kids who are full of conflicts and clashing ideas and fight hard to prove that the enemy is wrong, the 02 kids prefer to find a common ground and accept whatever weird ideas thrown their way. The 02 kids' enemies are not always enemies for them, they're just people with different opinions.

2. The movie MC is Rui Ohwada, who claimed to be the first ever Digidestined. He has a broken Digivice, wears an eyepatch to hide his weird right eye. His Digimon is Ukkomon, but due to a fallout Ukkomon is now threatening the world by attempting to fulfill Rui's wishes - to have more friends. Ukkomon's method: appearing as a huge Digitama and sending a message.

"May everyone be happy. May everyone have a Digimon."

Rui is trying to stop Ukkomon from doing so.

3. Ukkomon sent Rui, Daisuke, Ken, Veemon and Wormmon into a dimension similar to the past. Rui's past life. Here we learn many things: that Rui lived in Hikarigaoka (a.k.a. the place where Digimons were first observed), Rui lived with an abusive mom and critically sick dad, Rui's birthday is February 29th, Rui was beaten a lot. Daisuke was pissed and tried to interfere (what a good guy), Ken held him back (he thought if this is really the past, they'd probably end up changing history), Rui said not to bother.

They stayed for like 2 hours until Ukkomon appeared and Rui tried to stop his kid self from making a wish, but according to the others, they fell through Ukkomon immediately.

4. We later find out that Ukkomon did a lot of things that ended up breaking Rui afterwards. Mom suddenly became nicer. Dad miraculously recovered. Celebrated 8th bday (albeit in a dark room) and told some friends couldn't make it. (It was 2000, Adventure kids were busy fighting enemy Digimons. They were those "some friends" that Ukkomon mentioned.)

Next birthday or so (or was it 2002? A.k.a. the 02 events?) was the day Rui found out about other Digidestined who apparently endanger their lives fighting with and against Digimons. Also the day he found out that his parents weren't exactly alive. They had been under Ukkomon's control the entire time. The horror.

Rui tried to smash his Digivice, but the thing's shrapnel(?) hit his right eye. Ukkomon tried to recover the eye by giving his to Rui, but already upset Rui told Ukkomon to buzz off because he hated everything that Ukkomon did for him. Ukkomon cried and melted away.

Since then Rui lived with his relatives. Now he lives by himself trying to figure out what to do wih his life and Ukkomon.

5. The 02 kids have vastly different reactions upon hearing Rui's story lol. Hikari for example said Rui was being ungrateful - Ukkomon saved him from being abused further by his mom, but he chose to hate it? But Hikari dear, Ukkomon Killed. His. Parents. And. Puppet-controlled. Them. That's Amoral.

Wait, I'm not sure if there's someone among them who do agree that Ukkomon wasn't exactly correct with its judgment. Daisuke thinks that maybe both Rui and Ukkomon don't know each other well, since Ukkomon is only doing what it thinks pleases Rui, while Rui just okays whatever Ukkomon does until he finds out he's not ok with them.

6. Also, the revelation about Digidestined = Rui's potential friends is making the 02 kids question the meaning of their human-Digimon bonds and all the fights they went through. Like what the hey, the origin of Digidestined is shallow af! But ultimately they told Rui that despite having their bonds manufactured by Ukkomon, their friendship with Digimon are real for them. They were the ones making their friendship possible. If they can be friends with their Digimon and improve each other, then Rui can, too.

With that being said, Rui-kun really lived an easy life, huh. Disregarding the fact that it was all fabricated by Ukkomon.

7. While the gang discussing on how to defeat Ukkomon, someone has worries about Digimon partnership - Takeru. He was worried that the bond with Digimon will disappear for nth time. Guy needs serious therapy. You are an adult now, pls seek help. (Note: Takeru has a broken family; parents divorced, siblings separated, lost Patamon once in Adv, lost it again in tri. iirc, and in Kizuna his big bro Yamato lost Gabumon for real. He really has attachment problem.)

8. Ken and Daisuke have very cute interactions. When they tried to send Rui towards Ukkomon so they can have proper talk, Ken was impressed with what Daisuke said. Guy was so smitten towards his S/O Jogress partner best friend lol. Miyako had to tell them not to flirt with each other hahahaha I cannot, the Daiken is strong as ever

9. Rui went back to the past and catch his mom, telling her to stay strong and kind, because despite whatever she did to baby Rui, baby Rui loved her so much. Seeing her son trotting behind, Rui's mom cried and picked him up and celebrated his birthday. Giving Rui the sense of closure he needed, even if he can't really change his past.

Ukkomon appeared but this time, Rui told Ukkomon that he needed nothing. Having Ukkomon was all he needed. And he was interested to know more about Ukkomon, and Ukkomon about him.

10. The final battle isn't really a battle tbh. They were just making Ukkomon reborn into a Digitama. Most annoying being the evolution sequences having to repeat the start of Jogress evolution theme every. Single. Time. Like come on, just continue that song. It was annoying af because I quite liked it and wanted to hear it in full.

11. The movie ends with all Digidestined saying goodbye to their precious Digivices, now that the Digivices are not needed to prove their human-Digimon bonds. Sad that the Adventure kids aren't able to join this fight, especially those who already lost their Digimons (Taichi, Yamato, Sora, Menoa, maybe Meiko?). They must freak out when their Digivices disappear to add to the wound that is losing their Digimons.

Like Ukkomon wanted everyone to have a Digimon, this should include those who lost theirs right? But the plan is foiled... Or is it?

12. The kids then play snowball lol Adults who are kids at heart. Lovely. Love them all.

Miyako tries to flirt with Ken but Ken just goes, "??? Miyako-san???" Ken, you're smooth when it comes to Daisuke but clueless with Miyako I just cannot lol pls marry Daisuke

13. Oh yeah. There's a fem fanservice in the form of Iori showing his bare back after Kendo training. *exhales*

14. Also. Ken's fainted form when he dropped onto Hikarigaoka's pavement. Elegant. (Rui's form is also elegant but his fashion sense ruins it lol)

15. Nobody ever mentioned the actual 02's lore. Oikawa. Hiroki. Dmitrimon. Well even though Oikawa seemed to be the one who created Digital World and Digimons, he was not made a Digidestined. And considering the events, even though many fans seem to disagree, yeah Rui is really the first Digidestined ever.

Rui got his Digivice in 1996. 4th bday.

That same year was Taichi and Hikari's first interaction with Agumon. However they weren't given Digivices; they got theirs in 1999.

1999 is the year the Adventure kids getting their Digimons and Digivices.

02 kids got their Digivices in 2002. Except maybe Ken, who got his between 1999 and 2002. Oikawa also got his in 2002, although he died shortly after that.

16. As for age, Rui is 20. This 02TB event happened before his 20th birthday (2012 is leap year). Apparently he forgot his own birthday, maybe due to being traumatized with what happened with his family and Ukkomon.

Ken, Daisuke, Takeru, Hikari are 21. Ooh, they can drink booze now huh.

Miyako is 22. Iori is 19.

Not related to his movie, but in this event, Taichi, Yamato, Sora are now 24. Joe is 25. Koushiro and Mimi are 23. I think.

17. Takeru drives a car!! He's the only Digidestined seen having a car. Yamato is known to have a motorbike (re: Kizuna). So how do the others go to places? Well Ken has Wormmon-Stingmon so he can fly. Same with Miyako (Hawkmon-Aquilamon) and Daisuke (Veemon-Exveemon). Hikari? Not sure. She did have a bicycle, but there's the possibility she uses Tailmon-Angewomon, who can also fly.

I'm curious about Taichi, lol.

18. The kids do Jogress using smartphones instead of their original D-3 Digivice at first. Then when it's time to face off Ukkomon, they used the D-3.

I still can't remember the dubbed name for Jogress evolution. (Had to search online. It's DNA Evolution. So Jogress it is. lol)

Also, no Armor evolution. Bummer.

19. Best character here: Daisuke. 2nd best: Ken. Rui is ok. Hikari seems to have a weird standing about Rui's life. Takeru needs therapy. Iori has too little dialogue, the poor guy. At least we get to see his bare back hueheheheh Miyako is Miyako.

I think that's enough for rants and maybe some delulu. 02TB has started to kick SAO out of my mind (SAO has been accompanying me since 2020). Ohnoes.

[autisticlee]

every year I get angry? depressed? some sort of bad feeling???? around my birthday. and not just because im getting older and still have done nothing with my life...

I dont have friends. we all know that already. but I never truly did. I never had a birthday party with friends. only seen every kid around me have them and most adults too tbh. every year since i was like 10 probably, I try to convince people I know irl to at least pretend to be my friends and do something with me. no one will. the excuse used to be "im busy because it's close to Christmas" but now just everyone straight up ignores me more than anything. guess they got tired of making up excuses? (maybe it's true though and i'm overthinking that people couldn't possibly be busy days after Christmas for 20 years in a row...)

every year my birthday has been trash. I had little baby family parties until I was I think 5. and I only remember one of these parties. the last one. I only remember being really sick, sleeping through the party, and waking up to everyone being gone. I was very upset. wanted a redo my whole childhood. but my sister was born the next year and she got the parties instead of me now. (parents could only afford one and mine was too close to Christmas so it was "too hard")

I was determined to make up for only having one party I remembered that went bad. so when I turned 10 or 11 or 12 (forget east year) I invited school friends and classmates to my party. had my parents make food and a cake and buy decorations and set it all up. then we waited. for hours. my dad made me call everyone I had phone numbers for. their parents all said they weren't home. but they never showed up at my party! not a single person did! then when we went back to school, they all laughed and made fun of me because they hung out together and skipped my party 🫠

after years of failing irl, I started trying to do twitch streams and coop games with online friends. had a few people here and there do a game with me. but it was never a large turnout to do games I really wanted, and the 1 or 2 times I got 1 or 2 people werent the most fun. (like a few years ago trying to do a silly game and getting yelled at by the 2 playing with me for goofing around and being unserious,,,,when I told them beforehand I wanted to goof around and laugh and be unserious!!!!)

but playing games still isnt the same as having a birthday party where you are celebrated and get to do what you want with people who want to be there for you and have a good time or whatever you do for those idk.

Last year I bought plane tickets for a friend I met online to visit for about a month as a birthday gift to myself. everything that could have gone wrong did basically though. 🙃 her flight experience was a nightmare (delays making her nearly a day late. lost luggage. many tears. etc.) the day she got here I started getting sick. we planned to go to a con for my birthday weekend. she had us drive 2 hours meet up with her other friends so they can see her. she invited her other friend to come here at my house and stay for Christmas week to visit her and go to the con with us. my parents didn't like this sudden other person staying. they threw a fit at me the whole time. she got another friend to come to the con. I ended up getting everyone sick. when we got to the hotel for the con, I was so sick that I had to stay in the hotel and missed the con. we were supposed to drive the 3rd person home like 8 hours away and stay there for a night, but we were too sick so they ended up staying at my house too until they could take a train home like 5 days later. my family was extra angry at me for that. but it wasn't my fault or plan!

now i'm not allowed to have any friend visit amd stay again. they have to stay at a hotel (no one can afford that) so I guess it will never happen again. none of these people really talk to me anymore after this happened :/

basically that was supposed to be my bday thing to make up for all my lost and shitty birthdays before this by having my friend visit and going to a con and having a little hotel bday party. but ended up being more for my friend to see all her friends and no one caring about my bday and then I got really sick and everyone else sick and they were all mad at me for it and for other things (i ended up most sick though and was sick for almost 5 months, dislocated a rib or 2 from coughing so hard, and seem to have either developed or got worsened POTS symptoms that never got better ugh) and my family was yelling at me about everything the whole time and for months after. I didn't make up for anything. instead I had the worst birthday yet!!!!!! because I can never have anything nice!!!

this year im throwing myself a surprise birthday party. by that mean actually logged onto facebook and figured out how to make an event and invited everyone on there. the surprise would be if anyone comes. but looks like it won't be a surprise party after all, since no one is coming :(

just talked family into going out to dinner at the very least. but they're also very sick and might not make it anyway. so might just be only me in the end (maybe my mom tho since my bday is finally not on a work day)

I appreciate family agreeing to it at least. but i'd still like to experience a (successful) birthday outing/celebration/party with friends like most other people get to experience at least once in their lives, where I have one day where it's all about me (since every other day of the year I do not want to be perceived at all lmao and never ask for anything or try to "get my way" if that makes sense) but looks like the universe bans me from having nice things for some reason :((

today/tomorrow i'm trying to have people play games online with me. that never works out but it's my backup for my friendless birthday dinner. I know I won't get to play the games I want to most. I never get to. i'll be surprised if I can get someone to play something with me D:

starting to think I should completely give up trying to have one day of the year that's mine. couldn't have it as a kid (where I remembered it, since i'm sure when I turned 2 or 3 it was a very me centric day) and I definitely can't seem to have it as am adult when everyone tells me adults don't get to have nice things like friends anymore :/ sighs what's the point of life when no one cares about you even once a year on the anniversary of your existence 😭

I hate having a birthday. why does it exist. it's here to mock and make fun of me. birthdays are fpr people with friends and money and a life purpose and life and a life worth celebrating and all that stuff I don't have 🥲 the "do it for my birthday" excuse has never worked for me. so why do I even try!!!!!!

[odette-at-dawn]

-christmas-

first of all happy holidays. yesterday was christmas day and it was fun, but I cant help feeling disappointed. it makes me feel like such a horrible person, but I cant help but feel unsatisfied/unhappy with my gifts. i sound so horrible, because I am really grateful for what my parents got me and that I was able to celebrate christmas with them, but we make lists every year for everyone to look at and buy stuff from and it feels like no one actually looked at my list. i got lots of little stocking stuffers which were cute, but the main thing were birks and a shadowbox my mom got me. i knew I was going to get the shoes because i asked for them in august and then in october/november (for either my bday or xmas), where i tried them on along with another pair of shoes i wanted. i got the birks which I'm happy about, but i told both my parents i wanted the other shoes more but I'm still happy i got the shoes. then the shadow box is for the taylor swift concert my mom and i went to. i told her that i wanted to put my taylor swift stuff into a shadow box or something and she bought that for me, which is thoughtful but i told her i maybe wanted to do that. its also something i was planning on buying for myself. it just makes me feel like they didn't even look at my list. another thing they got me is a meat thermometer, which is not bad (because i get really stressed about cooking meat and not getting food poisoning) but ive talked to my parents a lot in the past 3ish months about the fact that I'm going to stop eating meat that i have to cook (partially because of the cooking but also other health issues) so it just feels like they don't listen to me. they did get me a hair oil which I've been needing more of so I'm super happy for that. i just feel so spoiled because i did get a lot and I'm sitting here crying over it when lots of people probably got no gifts. and its not like they didn't spend money on them too, birks are super expensive shoes, so i feel even more ungrateful. and even more so because i know my mom bought most of the gifts and shes super proud of them so i feel even worse. but when i see my older sibling and dad get everything they asked for/all of their gifts are off their lists, it just sucks a bit. its also hard because my grandmother, who notoriously doesn't like me (so much so that my parents both noticed it and have talked to our extended family about it) got me a gift that felt more connected to me than the ones my parents got me (a student cookbook, a dish towel type thing for the oven, and a puzzle of one of my favourite artworks (which i think was just lucky)). i just feel so...disconnected? from everyone here i guess? i don't really know it just feels like these gifts are separate from me, like they are for a shell of me. i don't really know how to explain it, and i know i sound like a broken record but i feel so terrible for being ungrateful/unhappy with the gifts. i don't know how to end this, so here's this.

[neonmoonn]

I guess I’ll let you know somethings I’ve been doing

I’ve been looking for houses to rent. I’m afraid to buy because I’m not sure this place is where I need to be anymore. I’ve found a few on fb marketplace, but most require a year lease and I’m just not ready to make any sudden changes. But I check often and there’s always something to rent so I’m not worried.

I didn’t inseminate because I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I want a baby with you and I don’t think it’s right for me to do something if I’m not in the best of mindsets. I do have a donor though, we talk weekly and he’s good enough. I feel like most of the donors I’ve encountered want to like date me and it’s weird. I struggle because I want a baby so badly, but I am so afraid to do everything by myself. I know I have a good support system and I’m thankful for that, but I really wanted to have a partner to do this with. I also don’t want to be moving around with a baby. So, I can either settle here and just be me and my child, or I can move and find someone and then build a life with them. I just don’t know if I will ever find someone else and dating absolutely sucks. And I want to celebrate Mother’s Day, I want to have a little one for the holidays and I’m just getting older. I think I might start trying in December depending on how I feel.

I’m heavily considering going back to school just so that I can get another job besides where I’m currently at. But I’m also going to promote next year, at least do the testing and see what happens.

I’ve been doing a lot lately. I really do have a good support system who has been taking care of me. I know you seemed to have the impression I wasn’t getting out, but I promise you I am. You told me to live my life because you were going to live yours- and that is a huge motivation for me. I know I want to always consider you in the things that I do, but I also know you wouldn’t want me to do that.

There’s a few other things I’ve been up to, but nothing to share really. I am depressed right now. But I’ve been doing my little things like playing my guitar, and my parents got me another one for my bday (I started hysterically crying when I saw it and I’m so glad no one was filming me). And yeah. Oh I also got a huge pumpkin at the pumpkin patch which made me happy.

So, besides all of this, I hope you and the boys are well and happy and I think about you guys all the time.

[mal-counts-cals]

i’m having a bday party except my best friends aren’t going to be there & all i keep seeing is people saying they’re not going to make it. this is so so so dumb but every time i get my hopes up about my bday, it always falls through & i really wish i wouldn’t have told my mom that i wanted to do it bc now i feel dumb for not wanting to have it & it was planned so last minute & i don’t think i’m going to hit the weight i want to & i might be starting my period soon which is why this is getting to me badly but also??? it’s my bday & what girl doesn’t cry when it comes to her bday yk?? idk i just feel so dumb for feeling like this. i want to start throwing a fit & never ever celebrate my bday. last year i just went to dinner w my parents + bf & that was good, there was nothing to get my hopes up about, it was basically a regular day & i knewww it was going to turn out like this. but fuck do i feel like an idiot for being so upset about this. like who even cares if people don’t show up? except it’s not just people, it’s my besties & let’s be fucking fr here, i don’t have a lot of friends. like most of the people coming to the party are going to be like 35+… i’m turning 21. they’re my parents friends & a normal party is fine for that but i don’t know. thanks for reading.

[haryuwu]

Omooo thank you for the tag!!! I was kinda skeptical if I should write a fic for this but I think a comic is much more appropriate for me! I'll come back to this when it is Lulu's bday which is gonna be next year, Jan 9;;

Okay so—FACEPALM BRIGADE BDAY PARTY???

I think I haven't mentioned this here before but Lulu is indeed the new member of facepalm brigade, Ruggie told MC/Yuu. ALSO THEY ARE ALL SILVER/WHITE HEADS. WHO SAID THAT IT'S NOT OFFICIAL??

So Silver wanted to plan a surprise for Lulu so she could feel that she belongs in NRC. I think at this time the facepalm brigade has been together for months so it's natural to throw a party for your friend!

I also can imagine Silver asking Malleus and Lilia if they can throw a party in Diasomnia, they gave him permission since they knew Lulu is still trying to get a simple bday celebration. But on one condition, Malleus has to bake a cake for her. Why? Well...he just wants to? He wanted to enjoy her bday even if it's a small one and that he's uninvited or was forgotten to be invited(?)

Anyway, Kalim was the first one to greet her happy bday. He beat Silver to it, maybe he just said it loudly than Silver but I can tell they said it at the same time. Silver sings her a bday song instead since she didn't hear him loud enough 🥺

I haven't thought of Riddle's relationship with Lulu so I'm just gonna say they are both pressured children by their parents. They are pretty smart kids, they might actually provide notes to each other. Riddle prolly came there to greet her and eat some tarts.

Oh boi, idk about this one...Jade creeps her out at first but they eventually started getting along when she worked part time at Monstro. Maybe he has been a gentleman towards her or maybe he's just plotting something. Thank you for the numerous gifts though, I hope all of em are mushroom merch.

And lastly...man this breaks my heart for Lulu. But this is also the safest way to avoid Rook? Idk their current relationship here, but I do hope that Rook greets her late in the evening since he recently got the news from Vil like, "Aren't you going to greet the girl you've been pursuing?"

"Oh mon dieu...!" And comes running out of Pomefiore dorm to go to Ramshackle dorm, greeting her at the second floor room's window with a poem prepared. Pls leave my bbg alone, she's gonna sleep.

Time for tags! No pressure tho @datboredpencil @kitsubishinya @dibbledoodle @chifuyusangel @kunehori @cupiddstarrie @mochawulfie, or you can just tag anyone who wants to join!

Ace planned the surprise/first to greet me.

Leona baked the birthday cake. (But I bet he asked Ruggie to do it.)

Kalim bought the food and drinks and also came uninvited. 🤣

Vil sings.

Lilia gave me lots of presents.

Jack ate all the food. (He never gonna do that)

And Silver forgot my birthday. 🤣

[jiessicas]

07.17.23 -- 07.23.23

07.23.23 (sun) picnic @ little farm

picnic at little farm, the ride there and back with s&s <3

cannot escape cliche / that day is not this year

dreaming of small glowing object timer 

i think i better understand hinging and unhinging / realities are malleable etc etc 

i’m told i bring good vibes to the function

mathematical transformations; the object of study didn’t change but what you noticed did; was that a transformation or did you find a new point of entry?

gods favorite (kiosk order #1 at matcha cafe maiko, japantown edition)

looking for a new social media (listening to podcasts again)

learned of diplomatic immunity

07.22.23 (sat) japanese tea garden; prose & pals; n's bday <3

new newjeans ep in the car! i want to hear "super shy" in the club

remaining soft is how i get here / remaining flinty is how i preserve my softness, my ability to get there 

learned that the casio is the "terrorist watch"

i turned the corner and there you were; an altar, an arrow, a shrine in real-time, a monument for today;

remaining soft is how i get here; remaining flinty is how i preserve my softness, my ability to continue to get there

i am so happy for friends who are happier / so much i want to talk to p about

celebrating n's bday! he said "the future is short" and i felt the room tilt for a moment (and change color, as the lamps were set to due on a timed basis hehe)

07.21.23 (fri) picking poetry books; shuggie's

strategic scatterings, diligent dilettantes

trip to dogeared; saw a tiny puppy right next to a tiny baby in the bookstore

thinking about aunthood (buying a tiny bucket hat and the sundae school puppy fleece for someone else's dog)

the green light at shuggie's trash pies reminds me of the green in "all about lily chou chou"

asking people often "how did you feel about that" in part because of the lil kid in me that had to monitor the feelings of adults around me, but also because it seems really good for encouraging pause/listening to oneself in times we don't always remember to pause for

"we sound like war veterans"

07.20.23 (th) "all about lily chou chou" / jialing @ ugsf

athleisure (appropriating tennis aesthetics to sit in the sun outside to read "greek lessons")

knew today was the day to resume wellbutrin when i watched a video of a puppy eating an ice cream cone and felt compelled to eat an ice cream cone, just like that puppy

sometimes being dysregulated is so nice yknow 

i’m just trying to live my american dream (eat a little edamame potato croquette w chili crisp and wash it down with some ito en black milk tea in peace)

A Grand Unified Theory Of Dog/Daughterhood, Being Baby, But Also An Older Sister, Probably, Also, “I Bet On Losing Dogs” (2016) 

knew today was the day to resume wellbutrin when i watched a video of a puppy eating an ice cream cone and felt compelled to eat an ice cream cone, just like that puppy -- ie, going through a moment in which i see any pup and think "it seems like it would be nice to be you" (it's There Are More Dogs Than Children In San Francisco x I'm Baby syndrome)

thinking tenderly of student journalism in light of the student journalist who got someone to resign over their reporting

watched "all about lily chou chou" my god

saw jialing at undergroundsf, what a treat! i bring a sort of nonverbal athleisurely vibe to the club that my brain cells thank me for when i get home at the end of the night 

07.19.23 (w) ucsf visit; japantown loitering

times i feel like a surrogate or stand in / times i feel nonfungible 

thinking of my parents as poets; not redemption but remembrance; not transcendence but immanence 

finished reading mckenzie wark's "raving"

felt flowers in the vase

called c; thinking about different kinds of love; the loves that help me stay grounded in the present and the loves that help me embrace the future as it arrives. a kind of love wherein i learn the joy is rooted in peace, in building together; pleasure, a necessity, and one i want to nourish me

with c, I talked about feeling useless in contexts, feeling powerful when I am with people, feeling out power, not for anyone’s use but our own; he talks about feeling useless in one context, getting better so as to be useful in a diff context; feels like we are on opposite sides of the same plane;

there’s a mole on the back of my left ear, he says; we say i love you through subtitles when i'm on the bus; this call and the day before makes me miss him very very much

pop pop pop ice cream… not in the Bible

"that’s either drama or a jess instagram post"

i admire moments of surface disagreement to recognize the shared root that could be grasped together; i haven’t transcended but i found immanence; i don’t believe in redemptive arcs but i do believe in remembrance

i am so grateful for ucsf; i sip on a little juice box; i am instructed to wiggle my toes to distract myself; got a photo of an ultrasound of my uterus (beautiful, perfect lol); i stand in front of the poetry plant tablets and cry a lil bit;

the joy/power i reach for is to stave off my existential dread

i walk along sutter in the sun and wander into a grocery store that has piroshki, potato salad, and i sit at their counter to eat

groceries from nijiya, noncommittally wander through daiso, pick up an eraser for lil and finally get pen refills / a pencil sharpener and eraser for myself

then i sit on a bench outside of marufuku ramen & Free Associate to k!!!! Gosh; so many thoughts about lorde and gordan in thanks to them

07.18.23 (tu) bart movie screening; tender media primers

read alina stefanescu's piece on abortion: "the author of the abortion is 'I': against redemptive forms and genres"

intimacy doesn't need a reason / gray area / learning i am most generative and feel most powerful when i am useless in through the lens of instrumentality

the craven desire to be an “intern” again; to be a puppy (cute and clueless; bark bark arf arf woof woof; etc)

essay texting with k; concern with people's imagination, the foreclosure of it; a human/political concern

how was today? media consumption day--

a primer for tenderness via n - "throw someone a pep rally" ask polly (hard work becomes joyful when we make a connection to the hidden abilities and talents inside us...making that connection to our buried abilities, our muted imaginations, and our blocked desires becomes easier when we recognize that every living being is filled with just as much potential as we are) -> think being a teaching artist would be incredible for this reason

the club is bumping // the ladies look good // the alcohol i flowing // there is much tenderness in the world, and in this room

angie kang's comic, "desire paths"

read "what it was like" by natasha rao sent to me via c

ran into v: joshua tree was a midpoint between phoenix and california; consulted on a drink choice and got a drink as the consultant fee B)

maybe i read it yesterday but today it feels present - “‘What happens to me next is inscribed without causation… I will be passing into myself’” - from angie sijun lou's story, motorcycle factory

i walked out the door listening to linda diaz's music; feeling like i had a lot of time in the world, which i did!

gifts for people - earplugs; felt flowers; the burrito that d held, that looked like a bouquet also

check out "tunnel vision: an unauthorized BART ride" !!

Process notes from chatting with s

Times we have had solid working relationships?

When do we know it’s enough - having a story to tell, something to collapse the theory into 

Time is clear in the thread, what about the meta thread?

07.17.23 (mon) two wolves; parmesan soup; gathering; generative babies; southwest

sean (short for parmesan) would be a beautiful name for a baby girl ~ l made parmesan soup, and we added chicken sausage to it for the ultimate pizza soupppp

gathering deadlines; (categories here)

two wolves - raver that wants to be lightly eviscerated outside by some groovy tunes; writer that wants to cocoon inside under a bunch of blankies w a notebook

rhys - i had two longings & one was fighting the other. i wanted to be loved & i wanted to be always lone

i wish to indulge a little less so i can be a little more diligent !! or i wanna be more diligent about my indulgence

in what ways do i feel ready? in what ways do i wanna be able to choose something not as an escape? i wanna write and document today, then clean at home, want a functional workspace, less excess

readings: sour heart jenny zhang; closet space kming chang; obit victoria chang; franny choi

my lil sis' first day of work! she sent some generations of her as a baby via some app which kinda looked like me as a baby...

generative baby with fucked up hands but she's cute

i generated some of my own and sent to c; dislocation, seeing hugging face stuff, poorly rendered artifice, poorly utilized hyperrepresentation (dating apps, egg donations grotesque in their own way)

what is the feeling of dislocation? seeing yourself outside of yourself, any kind of familiarity that is defamiliarized is a dislocation, somthing you don't know how to place yet; the injury, when something is moved out of its usual or expected location

sat in the sun to journal

found a cool utility dress at o+f that makes me wanna sew

curled up in a corner at the commons to calendar; felt like calendar was in a good place in thanks to the franticness of last week // met v in passing who made me think of the southwest

technologies for the psyche, vs technologies for the ego

the fun of telling two people about one another

listened to music for 18 musicians

i’ve slept 7 + hours every day since wednesday and i’m reconfigured

i feel like i am on some hamster wheel hmm / or i feel scattered; it’s not bad i am just like “hm what shall propel me / what shall i propel myself with now”

from James Turrell - “Science strives for answers, but art is happy with a good question.”

i want to work on computation that brings us closer to our bodies / technologies that get us closer to our selves

Affirmations: My Obsessions Nourish Me . They Do Not Destroy Me 💯💯

Affirmations: I Refrain From Losing Sleep Over My Obsessions (happy to report a week straight of sleeping ? 7+ hours ? i truly cannot recount the last time i did that was)

why did this just flip a switch in my brain

every person is a puzzle i guess; "If you ask too many why's you end up like 250k years in the past at the dawn of man"

there’s a meme where people are now like “not in the [reference text]” and ap styleguide is hilarious /// In Praise Of An Expansive Usage of “Situationship”: A Treatise

times i used notes app as twitter before i caved in to use twitter as twitter

RIP Dead Inside, Who Once Walked Into The Club (He's Not Dead Dead He's Just Lightly Immobilized From Dancing) ~ can still barely walk from dancing

return window passed and check's already cashed