#I thought you mfs were exaggerating

[thegayasscousin]

no matter how bad my writing is, it’s still better than forces

[sookats]

★ — couple of the year .ᐟ

⤷ gq couple interviews with nct dream

⌗ ft .∿ dream ot7 x reader

⌗ genre + warnings .∿ fluff + someone please jeno from this

⌗ trini’s note .∿ okay last re upload from the deleted blog 😭. also if you never seen a gq couple quiz, here’s one of my favorite examples :)

⤹ ⊹ mark lee .ᐟ

✶ mark would have extreme confidence that he would get all the questions correct. at most, maybe one or two questions wrong but he wouldn’t sulk it off, he would more than likely say, “I knew that��� or “that was my second guess, I swear”

✶ weirdly enough, he would get the much deeper, or “harder”, questions correct more than the basic questions like what’s your middle name or what’s your favorite color

✶ for the deeper questions he gets correct, he would constantly answer, “see, I told you I knew you baby” with his lil smirk or a sly smile

✶ I think mark would almost always have a story attached majority of the questions you asked him. some are embarrassing, some have you giving a belly laugh, and some are sentimental. the sentimental ones, he’s holding eye contact with you, matching your smiles, and mouthing, ‘i love you’

✶ as for questions about him, he would let out an exaggerated sigh when you get them wrong. he would act so heartbroken and go on this dramatic ramble of how he thought his partner knew him

⤹ ⊹ huang renjun .ᐟ

✶ renjun is a shy lil thing for these types of interviews. quite nervous that he’ll get some wrong but confident enough that he’ll get most of them right. though, he does believe he’ll get more questions right than you will and he wasn’t wrong

✶ he would stand firm on the questions he got wrong that he thinks he got correct. he blames you that you never told him this information or that you’re a liar, sometimes side-eyes you before you say if he’s wrong or right. if he got it wrong, he would have hard evidence that he is correct and even state word for word on when you said the correct answer in the past

✶ as for questions about him, he would maybe allow bonus points. it depends on how many bonus questions you gave him, which would total how much or how little bonus points you get

✶ ngl, renjun can become a petty lil mf when it comes to his questions. he think it’s only right after the struggle you put him through answering some of those questions and fighting for his case

⤹ ⊹ lee jeno .ᐟ

✶ slightly like mark and has extreme confidence that he’ll get every question right except….anyways ! it’s not that he’s not an attentive bf (cause he is, trust !) but he’s truly shocked at how many he gets wrong. but at the same time, the ones he thinks he is wrong, he gets right ??? idk man. he knows who was your first best friend but doesn’t know your favorite meal…

✶ a lot of laughs are shared between the two of you cause it truly is funny at his reactions at whether or not he’s right. usually his jaw is dropped; if he’s right he nods his head in a slightly cocky manner but if he’s wrong, he shakes his head and curses himself

✶ but at the same time, you throw him some bonus points to help cause poor baby is not doing so good. in the end for the questions about you, he doesn’t do as bad but he believe that definitely isn’t his best and plans to be a better bf to you

✶ for questions about him, he assumes just about half the time that you won’t get this question right, and it could be the most basic questions anyone could easily answer. like why is mans shocked that you know his favorite artist and his favorite pastime…?

⤹ ⊹ lee haechan .ᐟ

✶ it turned from a cute quiz to a full blown competition. out of all of dream, his confidence is at an all time, always, when it comes to being the best boyfriend God can put on this earth. but oh do you have something planned for him

✶ haechan is more than a thousand percent confirmed that he’ll get all answers right and sits in his seat with such confidence. you roll your eyes and look through the questions as he continues to boast

✶ the questions were going good, ofc he was getting every single correct cause again, he’s the best (he prefers the term “perfect) you could ever have. until it’s questions that even you may not know the answer to that starts to trip him. he thinks you’re pranking him, even after you assured him that you aren’t

✶ haechan would trip you up so you can forget the correct answers to your questions. a firm believer that haechan would sit in a certain position to have you gushing, you try to hide your smile while asking the question but it’s no use when he’s around

✶ though when it’s his turn to ask the question, he is absolutely terrible. he’ll throw in bonus questions to trip you up and when you get them wrong, he is so dramatic my goodness. he’s even worse than mark and think it’s the death of him that you don’t remember his comfort meal

⤹ ⊹ na jaemin .ᐟ

✶ jaemin is actually mellow about his confidence for this couples quiz. he’s as confident as haechan but not nearly as bad as haechan can get. don’t get me wrong, he always assures that he’s the number one boyfriend material but thankfully know he’s not perfect

✶ I’d say out of all dream, jaemin would have, I believe, the third highest score. potentially a tie with renjun for second if he tries hard enough. he gets the easy and hard questions correct without breaking a sweat and sometimes throw in extra info for that question, just to show that he really is attentive

✶ throughout the quiz, he would blow air kisses and reach to grab your hand but you would think that he’s trying to cheat. which leads you to move it out of his reach and leaving him with a small pout

✶ another pouter on our hands guys ! he mostly pouts when he doesn’t get his bonus points or when you reject bonus points from him. no jaemin, you cannot get two bonus points just cause you named your partner’s dream career out of nowhere

✶ when it comes to jaemin’s questions, he is very nice about it and isn’t too harsh with the questions. though, he does throw some curveballs so prepared for that. he’ll go from what’s favorite movie to who’s the first person he talked to on the phone that day

⤹ ⊹ zhong chenle .ᐟ

✶ an actual comedy show when a couples quiz and chenle is combined. listen, he believes these questions doesn’t prove that he is a good boyfriend but he will do it just for the sake of you :p

✶ but at the same time, he will put on a game face and take this couples quiz veryyyy seriously. he refuses to even let a slim of doubt enter you just cause of a couple incorrect answers. I do believe as just as the amount of answers he gets correct, his ego gets stronger and you can tell from his stance

✶ though, (just like renjun) almost every answer he would get wrong, he would firmly believe that he is right. he’ll have you thinking that maybe YOU’RE the one with the wrong answer. he’ll do everything in his power to prove that he’s right and sometimes it gets a bit scary how hard he’s fighting for that point

✶ I would say that his score is pretty decent but he definitely could have done better. though after the interview, he’s still stuck on the questions he got wrong. cause wym your favorite ice cream isn’t cookies n cream ???? he literally saw you eat it last week

✶ now chenle giving you the questions….be prepared for a lot of sass, a lot of dramatic signs, and a lot of ‘I thought my partner knew me better mmcht’

⤹ ⊹ park jisung .ᐟ

✶ literally the best and most perfect companion for this quiz (yes I’m being biased, sue me). the man who would score the highest out of all seven boys but still keep a humble posture throughout the quiz. he blushes after you praise him for the amount he gets correct, which is all ofc :)

✶ sometimes he’ll be specific for certain questions, even after you told him he can keep it vague. he’ll go into detail of how your morning routine is set or little signs to show that you’re not in a talkative mood at the moment

✶ deeper questions are the ones that he is the most confident in, he mentally prepared himself for these type of questions. he’ll give reasons as to why you dislike this food or how you have a heavy distaste towards sports. starting to think it’s just jisung’s excuse to ramble about you

✶ as mentioned before, jisung isn’t as cocky as the members but internally, he knows he got this quiz in the bag. he stays humble and gushes on how much he got right

✶ for questions about himself, he’s one hundred percent sure that you’ll get majority correct. but he isn’t worked up if you were to get them wrong; instead, he lets a lighthearted ‘tsk’ and tells you the correct answer. he also reassures you that you still are a good partner to him, no matter how many you have gotten wrong :)

౨ৎ honestly shocked on how little time this took but I’m really happy with how it came out :)

౨ৎ lemme know if you guys want a 127 and/or wayv version of these hcs 🤭

kisses to you all and God bless you 💗

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟦 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝟦𝗎. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[lame-cameoliob]

Kallus' motivations are so interesting

I just need to get these thoughts out so I’m throwing this ramble here:

Now, this may totally just be me thinking too much (fork found in kitchen) but I feel like when it comes to how we tend to think about Kallus’ characterization, the implications of Kallus’ experience on Onderon are very overlooked. 

So he goes to Onderon with “the boys”-- which, the term “the boys” has its own set of implications about how Kallus must have really cared for those troopers under his command but I digress– and on a patrol they’re attacked, yada yada, we all know the story. 

But Kallus becomes fully paralyzed. He doesn’t describe the extent of his paralyzation but given that he had to watch as his squad was “finished off one by one” it’s pretty fair to assume that he could not move whatsoever. The fear that any person would experience in that situation is completely indescribable, that is genuinely some shit straight out of a night terror. 

He is– as we know– spared (albeit we don’t get exact details (did the merc try to kill him but reinforcements arrived before he could? Did the merc think that Kallus was already dead? Secret 3rd option?)) and he makes a full physical recovery, but there is no way in hell that he is not coming out of that encounter with some crazy PTSD. 

There’s not a whole lot of info on Imperial mental health services but I don’t think it’s a longshot to assume that they are probably close to nonexistent.

So the empire now has… an ISB agent with field experience… with untreated PTSD… where said PTSDs inciting incident pertained to a Lasat… and they’re looking to make an example out of Lasan……….. Are you picking up what I'm putting down here…...?

If you aren’t; it is BY NO MEANS a wild assumption to say that the Empire– essentially– weaponized Kallus’ PTSD, given that he would be less likely to question the moral atrocities happening on Lasan since he was already biased against Lasat as a whole. 

Now, we don’t really have a solid grasp on what Kallus’ exact role in Lasan was since he’s  kiiiiinnnd of an unreliable narrator– I mean we’re given the line in Droids in Distress where he takes credit for giving orders during the siege, but Kallus routinely just runs his mf mouth whenever he’s throwing hands so it’s like…  that could either be the truth or a crazy exaggeration, we as viewers have literally no idea what’s going on there– but it goes without saying that Kallus is obviously not excused from his participation just because of (likely) untreated mental illness, but that is literally like the whole point of his character so like we all knew that

Now, after Lasan, Kallus does something really bizarre for an imperial to do; he accepts the borifle given to him through the Boosan Keerah, and even though he doesn’t know about the cultural significance of that, he still takes it upon himself to learn how to use this weapon. I think that literally any other imperial would have tossed that shit out on sight, so I think it does kind of imply that Kallus did have a good deal of respect for Lasat culture.

Now we can all recall how Kallus is so annoying and also batshit insane whenever he fights Zeb for the first season and a half of rebels, and ME THINKS that this is because he wants to prove to himself that if he were not paralyzed on Onderon, he could have saved the members of his squad. He had to sit by and watch them die, and I think that he just wants the vindication; now you may be thinking, But Emma, he beat the Lasat who gave him his borifle, why would he still be obsessing over this– say it with me now– he is mentally ill. No victory will ever be enough to prove this to himself. Point blank period. 

(edit:) He is for sure operating from a place of extreme predjudice and bias but I think it's worth noting that he’s not operating under the usual xenophobic imperial mindset that other species are automaticaly lesser than. (end edit) This weird obsession that he has in seasons 1 and 2 deels like it's mostly there because he wants to outwit and outfight Zeb (and the rest of the Ghost crew… but especially Zeb) (edit: Though it is 100% influenced by Xenophobia-- his mental illness and xenopobia DO coexist!!)

And after the Honorable Ones???? It’s literally never brought up again. He chills tf out so hard after that it is high key uncanny. And like, yes duh that is because– for writing purposes– that’s the beginning of his redemption and they want viewers to root for him as fulcrum, but it also implies that after finding common ground with Zeb, and understanding where he’s coming from and who Zeb is as a person, he realizes that he’s been CRASHING TF OUT for basically no reason. 

And he is SO QUICK to switch sides?? Like, he is fulcrum at least a decent time before the beginning of season three. The whole point is that the second he asks questions and delves deeper into what the Empires motivations are he is disgusted enough that he doesn’t just drop everything and disappear, no, he became a spy for the rebels because he wants to help. I feel like that just goes to show that, at his core, Kallus is a good person. A deeply confused, and hurt, and misguided person, but a good one. 

I dunno, this is just a really long winded way of saying that Kallus is the perfect example of an imperial pawn. Like the Empire is an incredibly effecient indoctrination machine that exploits people at every turn, especially their own soldiers, and I think that Kallus’ relationship with that indoctrination along with his own motivations is just super super interesting and I think about it literally all the time

[urlovebot]

some hc's of bada asking insecure reader to sit in her lap!

as someone with extra fluff to love this ask really did it for me 😣 enjoy!

when i tell yall bada though you were the baddest thing on this earth

don’t get her started talking about your figure PLEASE she will never shut up

and so when you come home, sulking as soon as you come in the door, she wants to comfort you as best she can

and she’s a little selfish

so naturally she asks you to come sit in her lap so she can give you some tlc

but when you… sit next to her instead… she looks at you like you’ve just committed a crime.

“hello??”

“what..”

“why are you not seated… elsewhere?”🤨

“just thought it’d be better this way.”

“huh.. okay.”

bada gives you 30 seconds of peace before physically lifting you and trying to sit you in her lap.

as soon as your thighs hit hers you tense up and stop yourself from pressing all of your weight on her

“there. are you satisfied?”

bada shakes her head. her hands grip at your hips, feeling out how tense you were.

“you’re as stiff as a fucking door. relax y/n.”

you try to relax but you just can’t. past memories of your previous partners letting out an exaggerated “umph” or shifting uncomfortably under you flood your brain and you panic, legs starting to lift off of bada

but bada is not having it girl!!!!

“stop moving and sit.”

“i can’t.”

“why not?”

“I’m SCARED.”

and again bada’s got this funny ass look on her face like 😀 huh????????

“you think i can’t handle you baby?”

her hands move from your hips to the curve of your ass,

“don’t get me wrong… it is… alot to handle.”

this mf chuckles and gives your ass a little squeeze and you’re like

“bada!”

and she just keeps giggling?????

“luckily i’m more than equipped to handle such… thick materials.”

you thump her in her forehead and she throws her head back in laughter

you haven’t realized it yet, but in the midst of her fucking around, you’ve completely relaxed in her hold.

bada brings her head back up and a hand moves from your ass to your face as she pulls you in for a kiss

tell me why the kiss was kinda steamy like… bada pressed her lips against yours and almost immediately was licking into your mouth.

and when you pull away you both are a little breathless

“see? its not so bad is it.”

and when you realize what she’s talking about, your body reacts and tenses back up but bada is having none of it

“aht- stop it. you feel good on top of me baby.”

bada presses a soft kiss to your lips, then to your cheeks, down your jaw and onto your neck

in between kisses she’s whispering little praises

“so pretty.” kiss

kiss “and all mine, right?”

“every part of you-” kiss, “is so fucking pretty.”

and your hands grip her hair and you start to grind into her lap-

okay we’re getting carried away

she pulls away after littering your neck in marks,

“if it was this hard to get you to sit in my lap, how hard is it gonna be to get you to sit on my face????”

LMFAOOODHISHS

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not supporting my friend’s relationship?

(@aita mod I pinky promise that this is not an “aita for thinking/feeling something” submission, I’m just a long winded mf)

Okay this is admittedly stupid stupid dumb but it’s bothering the hell out of me so here we go. I (26X) have a friend (23NB) who recently got into a nice, stable(?) relationship after a string of messy short-term ones. They’ve been dating for ~2 months now, and the guy (early 30s?M) seems really nice and genuine. My friend is very happy and gushes about him constantly, which makes sense because the relationship is fairly new and their most recent previous relationships were with people who weren’t very open or communicative at all. I feel like the only valid reason I could possibly have to not like this dude is the age gap, which is more of a personal ick as I’m not really comfortable with dating anyone more than 5 years older/younger than me. They’re both adults and it’s their love life, so whatever.

The thing is, I just…do not share their enthusiasm for this guy. At all. He seems like a cool guy, but the fact that he’s dating my friend just isn’t jiving in my brain for whatever reason. I’m getting an inexplicable weird vibe. When I see a picture of them doing cute couple shit on instagram or wherever, my reaction isn’t “that’s adorable, I’m so happy for [friendname]!” or even “I’m glad they’re happy!” It’s more like “eugh, why are they doing that? I don’t want to see this.” This isn’t a normal reaction for me at all. I’m usually very supportive of my friends’ relationships as long as there are no obvious red flags. The only reason I can think of as to why I might be reacting this way is that an acquaintance of mine was pushing me to get with this same guy a couple years ago for NO REASON, and I was absolutely not interested, so it might be leftover discomfort from that. I don’t (consciously?) hold that against him though, that was 100% my acquaintance’s strange bullshit. I’m mostly into women and fem dudes, so there’s no latent attraction to my (masc leaning) friend or their bf involved either.

Here’s the part where I might be the asshole: because of my weird uncomfortable reaction to seeing this dude and my friend together, I haven’t been liking or commenting on posts/messages/etc about them being together or how wonderful this guy is. Social media interaction/validation is a big thing for them, and eventually they noticed that I wasn’t interacting with anything pertaining to their relationship. I don’t think I was obvious about it or anything, just operating on the “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” principle. Regardless, they asked me about it, and I went completely deer-in-the-headlights. I ended up saying something like “I just didn’t have anything to say about those posts, it’s not really my business” but I could tell they weren’t convinced. They asked me what I thought of the guy and I told them he seemed nice but I didn’t know him that well. I think that just made them more suspicious because I’ve been working for the same company as the guy for about 3 years now, but it is technically true. After my first few months I got transferred to a different department and haven’t seen him since.

They looked really disappointed and asked me if I could try to be a little more supportive of their relationship online, reminding me that this is “the first nice person [they’ve] dated in years” and that they “went through hell to find him.” (I think they were referring to their most recent breakups and exaggerating hardcore. They were messy, but I’ve heard every little detail about those relationships from them and they sounded like they ended due to plain old incompatibility/lack of interest. I would only call one of their recent exes “not a nice person.”) They ended the conversation by telling me that they trusted me and my approval was really important to them, which made me feel like shit, but it didn’t really make me see the relationship in a different light or anything. l definitely FEEL like an asshole, because even after they talked to me about it I have no plans to lie and act super into their boyfriend when I’m not. I realize how petty all of this sounds, but it’s obviously affecting my friend a lot, or else they wouldn’t have spoken to me about it in person. It just feels like I’d be an even worse friend if I started regularly lying to them about what I think of their relationship, even though I don’t have a valid reason for feeling the way I do. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[lutewife]

luci with a short ma le reader the uses as an arm rest please?

Shorter!reader, male!reader, reader has anger issues, Lucifer is a smug mf, mutual pining

Warnings: Silliness all the way

Notes: I gotchu darlin'. My first ever male reader request, finally!! Sorry if it's too short (get it? short haha...), I have writer's block rn, so it's hard for me to even get to work 🥹🥹 But I cannot leave my requests hangin', so have it, nevertheless! Enjoy.

First of all, damn how come you're shorter than Lucifer?

Well, at least you're taller than Niffty, that's something. I'm sorry

The demon wonders that too when he first meets you. Considering that the first thing you do is...

Laugh at him.

"Damn, who would've thought that the king of hell would be this..." You gesticulate with your hand. "...Small."

You have the nerve to behave like that towards him, I'll give you that.

But the sight of Lucifer standing next to Alastor, who's a freaking giant compared to him is just too funny.

Until the irritated monarch comes up to you.

Everything would be fine, if it weren't for that you are MUCH shorter than him.

Damn it, genes!

The sight from above would be even funnier; an angry duckling, just looking up.

But he wasn't looking up, he was looking down. And he was fucking terrifying.

But hot.

You were just about to say "Sorry, daddy", but bit your tongue.

That would be kinda gay.

And a death wish to the boot.

But to your surprise, you weren't dead — yet. Instead, you felt something resting on your head.

Which was his arm.

How the tables have turned...

"Sooorry, couldn't hear you from down there, what were you saying?" He exaggerates smugly and leans into you even more, causing you to bend under the weight.

Oh, come on! You're not even that short! (You are.)

You try to free yourself from the fallen angel's strength, but fail miserably, as his smile widens even more.

So this is your life now...

From now on, whenever Lucifer visited the hotel, he bullied you, mercilessly.

Although the demon wouldn't admit it himself, it was only because he took a liking to you and your snarky behaviour.

That's why he loved turning it against you.

You were drinking with Husk? Lucifer sat next to you and used your head as an arm rest, causing you to slouch in your seat, comically.

You were trying to decorate the hotel with everyone and couldn't reach somewhere?

"Hey, dumbasses! I can't reach the place you made me 'decorate'!" You yelled with irritation. Why was the world always against you? After Angel told you to chill and Charlie apologized a little too much, Lucifer appeared. "Dad?! What're you..." "Don't worry sweetie, I got this." After saying this, he immediately scoops you up and using his wings, he flies up to the place (or rather much higher than it was needed). You blush furiously and swear him out in every language you know, just to hide the fact, that you like being bridal carried by him a little too much. Gay. "Y-You! You dumbass king! You, you, you...! You dumbo! Dumb bitch!" "Stop struggling! Is dumb the only word you know?!"

Anyway, you try to break free, and it ends with you falling on Lucifer and him falling face flat on the floor. Ouch.

Well, to put it mildly, your relationship was... Funny. One day, you were vibing in the library, as usual. But you couldn't reach the book on the last shelve, even after standing on a stool. Great. (Un)fortunely for you, Lucifer was just looking for you. Seeing you struggle as always put a smile on his face. "Need some help with getting that?" "Shut the fuck up. I can get this myself." You jumped up on the stool, but with no result. You tried to do it more times, but it was the same. "Sooooo?" God, you wanted to wipe his stupid, smug grin off his face. But you didn't have a choice. Bearing yourself, you groaned. "Get that for me." "Couldn't hear you from down there, what did you say?" "I'm... I'm literally higher than you, now." He ignored his obvious slip up and you sighed. "Can you..." You groaned again. "... Please, get that for me?" When you still didn't receive a reaction, you asked, as if on the verge of irritation. "...Seriously?" "Yes." He straightened out. You facepalmed, cringing, but said it either way, in monotone voice. "Oh, the all mighty and incredibly hot king of hell, please, for fuck's sake, GET ME THE BOOK!" Wow. You really had stroked his ego with that. Apart from the last part. "Gladly." In a blink of an eye, he flies up and, as if teasingly, leans on you to reach the shelf. Unfortunately, the stool you were standing on wasn't a very stable thing. So naturally, you fell down. And it looked painful. Lucifer hadn't expected that in the slightest, probably forgetting his strength. So when you let out a pained groan, he starts to panic. Blabbering incoherently, he fails to notice that you are okay and have literally stood up a while ago. Your irritation has now reached its peak. Who gave him the right to be this fucking cute while being so annoying at the same time?! You pull the literal king of hell by his bow tie to reach your level. Your noses were basically touching at this point. You definitely were intruding his personal space, but your anger was stronger than your common sense. "Shut. The. Fuck. Up." You whispered harshly. And as if subconsciously, without even feeling the movement of your body, you pulled him into a kiss, in which you expressed all of your pent-up frustration. Utterly flustered Lucifer didn't even know how to react, so he just gave into your heated frustration. After a while though, you move away and look into his confused eyes, slowly realising what you did. You turn around, not to show your undoubtedly too red face. "You are so fucking annoying, dumbass." You just say, trying not to voice break while doing so. You quickly run away from the situation, leaving the profusely blushing Lucifer completely flabbergasted. And then... "LET'S FUCKING GOOO!" You just cheered, being able to be finally honest.

End notes: Maybe it's not any good, but I tried to cook up something a little different! I hope you've enjoyed this lil' drabble and stay tuned for new posts!

[magicxc]

Frenemies

Pairings: Survey Corps - people they cannot STAND

Word Count: 1076

Warnings: none

A/N: Idk man I love a good tussle jskksks. Like give me two characters who absolutely hate each other! And with AOT I really don't have to look too far, yay. This is basically canon but it's funny to think about so here it is as well. 

Headcannons Masterlist

Eren  - Jean, Weak People

I think the Jean one gets over exaggerated a little, and for good reason too, cause the girlies be EATING with those tropes. But at the end of the day they have a mutual understanding and are cordial at best. They're mostly cool because they share mutual friends and spaces but it’s no longer beef per se. 

Hear me out, I don't think anyone wiping out 80% of humanity is willing to kick it with people who aint about it. Mans need someone who’s willing to stand on business behind him. Even throughout the show he’s always admitted to not liking people who’s willing to live like “livestock.” So this is not to be confused with physically weak people by the way but psychologically weak people. Essentially Eren has beef if you’re willing to take it lying down. 

Levi - Zeke

Listennnn I LIVE for their fight scenes okay lmao. Like it's almost always on sight for them and their lil jabs at one another? It’s chucklessss for me omg. Lets be clear, their beef is absolutely warranted. It can be safely argued that Levi doesnt really care for most people but Zeke?? Oh baby its all smoke for him. 

Erwin - The Government 

I swear if it wasn't for the literal fate of humanity and his brewing theory Erwin would've just said fuck it cause baybeeee, they wanted that man GONE. They've tried to get him fired, pointed guns in his face, and built a whole ass guillotine to unalive him; in front of the entire town mind you. Maybe that was the custom back then I don't know. I don’t remember Erwin outright saying that he doesn't fuck with the government but fuck it, I’ll say it for him. Cause I'll stand ten toes down behind this one here. 

Connie - Ymir

I promise you I let out a nasty ole chuckle at the thought cause he don't even dislike her fr fr. I think it's a situation similar to Eren and Jean's in the sense that their friends and environment often see them in the same places. Because if we’re being real, not only do they have little in common but they just don't really vibe like that. I think they could've been a little more cordial but Ymir be on her own timing and it's usually at the expense of the squad. Like when she made fun of Connie for suspecting his mother was a titan or when she kidnapped Historia like 3 times and put them all in danger. And I can't even be mad at Connie for being the voice of reason cause him calling her ugly was simply the truth. I, too, reared back when I first saw Ymir's titan form. 

Jean - Eren, Reiner, Annie, Bertholt

The whole Eren thing is basically squashed but it’s worth noting that if he were to see him in public, he’d walk the other way. 

I lowkey had to dig deep for this one cause I genuinely forgot. But even though they’re all kumbaya now, those three bitches literally watched his homie get half his face chewed off by a titan. Jean is absolutely pouring one out for Marco every birthday by the way, but yeahh it’s still fuck them. Like if they were playing uno stacked, he’d save all his draw 4’s and make them draw 16. 

Onyankopon - Yelena

I'm not too sure that Ony dislikes anyone honestly. But I'm going with Yelena here mostly because she’s the reason he found himself in his current predicament. On what was supposed to be a solid plan in motion to save his people quickly turned into Ony modernizing a primitive people, helping build their resources from scratch, having people question his race (and I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar it was mfs that got ignorant), seeming untrustworthy among his peers, almost getting killed, fighting in a war he had nothing to do with, and probably losing his entire family in the rumble. Now, one or two of those things were inevitable, but if you were to view things from Ony’s POV everything went to shit over a bitch with a fatal attraction to a man with daddy issues. 

Reiner - Himself

Lmaooo I LOVE a good Reiner drag. And while this started out as a joke, I'm deadass now. This man stays talking about wanting to end it all but never follows through, smh. With lots of therapy and support, I genuinely think that Reiner would be on the road to recovery and a healthy lifestyle; but there’ll always be that lingering thought on if he’s worth it or not

Honorable mention: Ymir. But solely because she would get in the way of his fantasy life with Historia. 

Armin - Floch? 

This munchkin is damn near Tanjiro levels of sweet cause omg who does he even hate??? He is always looking for the good in people and I'm about to dislocate my shoulder reaching this hard BUT, hear me out - It’s Floch even if he doesn’t outright say it. The same Floch who damaged the flying boat and almost ruined their mission before it even started? The same Floch who fucked it up so bad that Hange had to sacrifice herself which resulted in Armin taking on an even bigger responsibility? The same Floch who got in a lil too close with his bestie Eren? Close enough to be trusted with his future plans? The same Floch who when he lay on that ground bleeding Armin was nowhere in sight? Even at the port where they attacked the Yeagerists and Armin got shot in the face, he pleaded with his old comrades to stand down but Floch is beneath that level of reasoning huh? Whether Armin despises Floch or not it's safe to say if Floch were getting jumped, Armin would definitely sneak in a kick before helping. 

Floch - Erwin

This is literally one of those cases where its like I disagree but I understand lol. That man legit made them do a suicide charge and yeah he lead the charge blah blah blah but I could never be that brave. And so that resentment is understandable but in all fairness it shaped Flochs character for the better to be honest; cause that whole pwussy boi arc was annoying. 

Also adding the main cast of the Scouts lmao. They thwarted his plans and he spent his DYING breath standing on business. Gotta respect it.

Tags - @eveningatthemoviesnetwork

[rabbitsrams]

Omg you HAVE to further elaborate onto that inexperienced reader x inexperienced schlatt fic omfg that shit drove me UP the wall it was too good. You have made my year

oh anon i love u sm <3 yes im obsessed w this idea esp speaking as a barely experienced virgin gal :D

nsfw under the cut, minors dni!! 18+ only.

(also PLEASE lmk if u want more i love writing these!!)

so you and schlatt met in a calculus class. it was required for his major while it’s just a general education class for you. because you sit near each other in the lecture hall you're often paired together for quick discussions (those 'turn to the person next to you' talks that i dread lmao).

he always thought you were really hot but was too shy to ever say anything, mostly just thinking about you in every way imaginable while he jerks off.

and you too, your size kink rly went brr seeing his tall ass like...

you once made the mistake of looking at his hands for a little bit too long and then that was all you could think about for a week.

you eventually became friends slowly over the course of the semester which was how u started fooling around in the first place.

both of you opened up that u were both virgins and not that experienced. and this mf was really like 'oh wouldn't be funny if...'

"how am i attracted to you?"

it starts with some making out. you've both kissed people before so you were a bit familiar with it. and it's nice!

you starting to kiss down to his neck and omg his fucking reaction when you leave a hickey for the first time. he's flaunting it so everyone can see, his roommate and friends are gassing him up sooo much.

while in class he's reading on how to give a hickey and ends up giving you so. many. all over your body. did he just awaken a marking kink?

also like once you guys start you just can't get enough of each other.

he's just so. obsessed with your moans. he's watched porn loads before, he knows how exaggerated those moans are. but somehow your more subdued noises turn him on even more. AND THE WAY YOU SAY HIS NAME???? he loves it.

his face going all red when you touch him anywhere. he whimpers so much, it's like you have him under a spell.

like i said before, he's super vocal. he usually can't help himself, especially when you're on your knees sucking his cock. because duh <3

once you started sucking him off, you can't get enough. and he can't either.

blowing him under the desk in the library. oh lord help me.

wearing one of his sweaters (the harvard one came to mind particularly) for the first time and he's just. jaw dropped.

the prettiest girl ever is wearing his clothes???? if he doesn’t have you right then and there he’s jerking off to you as soon as u leave.

and also you wearing his sweaters when walking around campus and he is just so proud like wow. you're all his.

falling asleep together after your first time and waking up to his morning wood‼️ he’s so needy in the morning he’s practically humping ur leg as soon as he wakes up. thank god your roommate was out.

lazily riding him while he just gushes at how beautiful you are in the morning. fuck. me.

whenever he spends the night at your dorm or vice versa you always help him out in the mornings <3 whether it be a blowjob or a handjob or turning to your side so he can slip it in and fuck you :D so what if you've been late to class a couple times?

you call him ALL the pet names. angel. sweetheart. darling. baby.

and his for you? oh. all the ones you call him and more. toots (thats a major one). doll(face). princess. bark bark bark.

you sending him nudes for the first time one night when he's home visiting family. what starts off innocent enough, you in one of his t-shirts without any pants on turns to pics of your tits, your fingers in your pussy, then VIDEOS OF YOU MASTURBATING!!! he's ripping his jeans off as he slams his bedroom door shut and dials your number into facetime.

SKIPPING CLASS JUST TO HAVE SEX SJKLFBHEDDJKLSJK

HE DRIVES TO SOME REMOTE PLACE ON CAMPUS!!!! AND U HAVE CAR SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME OMG

it's SO awkward at first😭where do you go? the back? stay in the front? go into the trunk?

you're glad he wanted to stay in the front because OMG. RIDING HIM IN THE CAR SEAT. he tries sooooo hard not to cum too fast bc ur tits are literally in his face and your pussy is squeezing him so well fuck fuck fuck he's obsessed with you. wow.

[mossy--wizard]

Hey moss! I thought I'd come check in on you after uh... All that yesterday, how are you?

-@good-wizard

*moss is acting strange since mf died, faye was tortured, moss was almost killed twice, and aileax were tortured and forced to kill MF, She's clingy, anxious, she checks in on everyone every five minutes (not an exaggeration) she keeps a forced smile most of the time, she never talks about her needs or feelings and goes out of her way to keep everyone happy, she flinches every time a loud sudden noise happens, she checks the news etc constantly. In any free time she has after doing literally everything for everyone, she either is on her computer, training or studying, she doesn't sleep, barely eats, and she doesn't open up, she doesn't speak unless spoken to, she bows her head most of the time, she doesn't seem fully there, she doesn't do any self-care, she stopped stimming and vocal stimming, she picks her scabs and touches her scars alot, she flinched when anyone raises their hands, she's just.... gone... closed off, guarded*

Oh im fiiiine! You?

[fatuismooches]

I don't know if you've written about this already, but my period cramps are so bad i had to leave school early and I need to self indulge in delulu comfort 😔

I need to imagine Dottore cuddling his so when you're struggling with cramps, rubbing his hands over your lower abdomen mgshshsghg🤭 he'd massage anywhere that hurts while his clones get you some snacks and comfy blankets... (I just know he would give you a hysterectomy the same day no questions asked🤭🤭)

If this happened in the akademiya, I'd honestly think that Zandik would have thought that you were overreacting and tells you to get over it so you could go to class finally. Except for the fact that you can barely get yourself out of your bed without wincing every movement and the fact that you look like you're either about to faint or vomit. He'll grumble about but once you realize that you aren't lying and trying to get out of going to classes he does begrudgingly help them. He'll make a makeshift heating pad quickly and get you some water and medicine, but he's really not the one you would look for for comfort... so that's really all he does (he is worried I swear!! He just doesn't know how to show it without being mean or sounding too wimpy!) And although he'll grumble, it is an excuse for him to skip class considering he's busy taking care of you... (and he will definitely use any excuse if it means not going to those wastes of time. But... doesn't taking care of you count as a waste of time? He tells you to shut up.)

WAHHHH IM CRYING 😭❤️❤️ I totally understand, period cramps can really be a pain dbjiedb but I really hope you feel better anon, that sounds pretty bad :( Make sure to take care of yourself and don't push it!

Ugh me loves this so much,, at this stage in his life he would so understand that period cramps and complications are no joke (he is still a doctor after all... just an unconventional one) so he knows you aren't exaggerating your pain,, You would just be sitting on his lap and one hand is on your abdomen and another is scribbling down paperwork (he is good at multitasking) AND OH if his hands aren't good 🤭 he knows EXACTLY what points to hit and how to rub you to make you feel as better as possible. And the clones, checking up on you every now and then too 🥺 They probably developed their own special heating pad for you too 🥱

But YEAH Akademiya Zandik would just be like 'what are you doing 😐' at first, the mf 💀 He would think you're just overdramatizing it to get a reaction out of him, but nope, you're literally curled up in a ball and clutching yourself, maybe even on the verge of tears from the pain. Well then, he sure doesn't think you're faking it anymore... He'll still mutter some things as he tends to you, but that's just how he is you know? It's his way of showing affection to you... although it doesn't seem like that. But you should know that by now. And he is a teeny bit softer with you too, tilting the cup back so you can drink it and making sure the chores you usually do are done by him. Just don't say anything before he starts up on you! (Though... he is not cooking for you because he WILL burn everything 💯 just expect to be eating takeout for a bit 💀) If you've been with him this long, you probably have become accustomed to just finding his mere presence comforting since he doesn't offer much of it, physically and verbally 😅

Don't worry reader, just wait a few hundred years and your perfect murderous doctor husband will have your body figured out 😌

[dearweirdme]

I love the point you made on hereronormativity earlier on the plushie and how people feel about two men sharing it.

That's funny because it reminds me of this thought I've been having recently :I actually understand the notion of not shipping real people together because it will make them uncomfortable or whatever and at first I failed to get along with this statement because I think taekook is real and the fact that I couldn't enjoy anything related to them without some mfs reminding me that they are friends...

But anyway. I think people in the fandom do not think like that. At least not recently. It started off as something about moral and the members respect and it went down the road as a thing of heteronormativity borderline homophobic.

Because why were people writing EVERYWHERE (even some shippers) that jungkook has a girlfriend(also the weird stereotype) because he has a hello kitty plushie????? Like it really blows my mind up how it was sooo normal for everyone to assume this one bit and nobody saw anything weird in this. It's like having a car key and my family members assumung right away that I have a boyfriend because boys love cars. See how stupid it sounds???? It's sooo crazy to me.

But I sat there and observe because I didn't think my word could have had much effect against 200k likes on tiktok.

And now we are in the present, Taehyung and Jungkook happens to have the same damn plushie and its considered a bro thing.. I don't want to exaggerate about anything but the moment the fandom open their eyes and understand that those fads going around shoving the hetero thing down our throat and then acting blind when it happens to be about two men or homosexuality in general, they'll also understand that homophobic people thrive in this fandom and they think they have a place there because who's gonna complain about Anna who thinks Jungkook has a girlfriend because of his tattoos and it doesn't make sense if its not the case?

Hi anon!

Oh.. heteronormative thinking is ingrained in so many people still. Let me go on a bit of a rant here 😁.

It starts as soon as someone is pregnant.. and it intensifies when a child is born. I live in a so called progressive and openminded country.. and yet to my ex it was extra special that our kid was a boy. Thoughts of playing football (soccer) and other ‘boy activities’ went through his mind. People gave us blue clothes and car toys. When my kid got older it became clear that he has what would be considered a ‘soft’ side. He’d choose rainbow colored mermaid plushies and unicorns to play with alongside his car toys.. and people found that odd. Kids don’t actually see a difference.. they just like stuff and colors and it’s the reaction of adults that makes them feel a certain way about it. My kid is a bit older now and I have constant conversations with him about that it’s okay to let his hair grow out if he likes it, that boys can love boys and that girls can love girls (i always say stuff like ‘when you’re older and have a boyfriend or girlfriend’). I was a member of an inclusive bookclub for kids for a while, and people got uncomfortable about the topics.. which was basically that love is love and that people are diverse. I am a big believer that if people start being inclusive in the language they use.. it will make a difference.

A lot of people aren’t even aware that it’s something they’re doing. I still catch myself at times.. but I make it a learning experience.

Fandom absolutely treats heteronormative ways of thinking different than queerness. The many times we see people defending members from queer allegations is insane and it shows that queerness is seen as something less valuable/weird/abnormal 😡.

I have always seen Jk as a soft guy (which has nothing to do with his sexuality). Straight men can be soft, queer men can be tough. Tattoos say nothing about what someone is like.. I have tattoos and I’m all sorts of things none of which would have anything to do with my tattoos. My tattoos are an expression of what’s going on in my mind while for someone else it could be that they just like the look of it.

I think Jk is queer because he is attracted to men (Tae) it’s as simple as that really.

[revon-aurora-borealis]

my brother wont stop complaining abt some of the people the hermits hang with/some of the hermits and semi acts like its their job to listen to him when he says they shouldnt add jimmy to the hermitcraft server "because hes annoying and wouldn't add any interesting content"

mf thats your opinion and its not a very common one

he also says this about Geminitay

and dunno if he did mean it for all of them but he said "they keep on adding annoying people who dont add anything interesting" so ig he hates joel, skizz, and pearl too...

bro how does one hate any of them wtf???

he says he hates that they roleplay MF THE ENTIRE FUCKING HERMITCRAFT SERVER IS FUCKING ROLEPLAY, THEYRE ALL ROLEPLAYING, THE PERSONALITIES YOU SEE ON THE SCREEN ARE THE EXTROVERTED PEOPLE PLEASING OVER EXAGGERATED VERSIONS OF THEIR NORMAL PERSONALITIES

THEYRE ALL ROLEPLAYING BRO, ABT LIKE AT LEAST 30% OF WHAT THEYRE DOING IS ACTING AND PRESENTING THEMSELVES

and when i told both my dad and him that they were like "nah there is no way, thatd be them faking who they actually are" bro... as someone who has tried content creation in the past this a major thing you need to do at least a few times, you cannot always just hit record and spit out everything on your mind, you need to present yourself even just a little, even etho does it, not much but he still does, you need to make your content easy to understand so people know wtf is going on

and roleplaying is just an added little thing all the hermits do, hermitcraft is a minecraft roleplay that shows a bunch of friends being stupid together, some of it is their actual personalities, and some of it is them goofing off and over exaggerating shit, going with the bit, i do that with people all the time, i did it yesterday

this rant has gotten less conhesive cuz i have my family yelling around me and i cant rly like hear my own thoughts and shit so ima end it here, i think got the gist of what i meant out

[vampierium]

Guess who just finished the Project Merdian video.

Spoilers beware!

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Okay fortunately enough i know the situation. Quinn ruins someone’s life again, they’re a latened empowered human and we’re pissed they couldn’t manifest their powers. After getting no help from REAL James, They go to some weird fellow who is the REAL Marcus who is a dreamwalker and says he knows a way to make the powers come out. Yeah we know all that stuff, now lets get into the crazy stuff I was thinking about.

SO IT WAS ALL FAKE??!?!!? THE ASSET ISN’T AN ASSET, ANTON IS A SHIFTER, THE MERIDIAN SITUATION WAS JUST THEIR MEMORY EXAGGERATED

i also desperately need to know at what EXACT point did the listener’s own power take over. Was the whole obsessed android thing Marcus��� or the listener’s? Was the trigger that made the listener get their powers that whole situation? Maybe im thinking about it too much

Also best day to be an anton lover because him being a shifter is REAL and he’s probably not trapped in his job to be away from his lover.

Last thing before I pass out, I wonder if Marcus even knows what was happening in the dream. Did or will they ever talk about it? In the credits part of the video, where its all silent, I just thought this interaction up.

Marcus: James said he and someone else had appeared in your dream, was I in it?

Listener: Oh yeah you were!…

Marcus: Really? What was I like?

Listener: ….uhhhhhhh

Okay thanks for reading my inane texts in my attempt to settle down from that mf movie I just listened to, good night <33

[starb3rrys]

Ranpo with a tooth cavity

You had told Ranpo time and time again to make sure he watches how much sugar he eats since it could have a bad effect on him.

But the prideful detective just disregarded the advice and just took it as you being a worry wort.

In the office, you would see him munching away to his hearts content from morning to noon.

You would see him take out all types of sugary treats; chocolates, donuts, cupcakes, candies, you name it he had it.

Seeing the amount of sugar he ate in just one day worried you, you cared so much for him and he knew that. He tried to reassure you that he’d be fine and told you not to worry so much.

“Some simple sugar cannot hope to defeat the worlds greatest detective!” He said proudly. You smiled at his dorky confidence.

Looking back, that sentence he said ended up being very ironic.

“OWW!” You look up from your computer to see Ranpo touching his cheek.

“Ranpo are you okay?” Junichiro asks with a concerned expression.

“Yeah im fine just a sharp pain on my back molar, not sure why” Ranpo says.

“Sounds like a tooth cavity to me, all that sugar has finally caught up to you” Dazai says looking at Ranpo.

Ranpo jumps up from his chair slamming his hands on the desk leaning forward looking at dazai. “Impossible! I havent eaten nearly enough sweets today?!”

“You’ve eaten 5 cupcakes, 2 bags of chips and 3 soda pops since we started working,……we got here 20 minutes ago” Atsushi said with a (٥⁀▽⁀ ) expression.

“….that’s irrelevant” Ranpo says sitting back down with a pout and arms crossed. “Youll have to schedule a dentist appointment to get that checked Ranpo, if you don’t it can get worse.” You tell him with a worried yet pleading expression.

He’s hesitant to agree but he knows you’re right, which is why its so hard for him to agree with you. (Stubborn ass mf istg-) He sets up an appointment for the following day.

The day of the appointment

You had offered to go with Ranpo to the appointment to accompany him. (And to get that sweet “i told you so” moment). You waited outside in the waiting room for the checkup to be complete. About 45 minutes later Ranpo finally came outside.

“How did it go?” You ask. He looks down avoiding your eyes with a pout visibly on his face. “You had a cavity didn’t you” you say catching on. He just silently nods his head. “Did they have to fill it in?” You ask.

He looks at you and sighs, “yeah they said it was because i eat too much sugar and told me to try and take a small break from it or atleast try to cut some down.”

“Mm” you say looking at him.

“I know youre gonna say it so just let it out” he says.

“I told you so” you say looking at him with your arms crossed.

“I know, and im sorry for not really listening to you” He opens his eyes and looks at you “I was in the wrong, i just thought you were worrying too much and over exaggerating, but you were right and im sor-“ his words get cut off by your arms wrapped around him in a tight hug.

“Whats the hug for?” He asks a bit surprised.

“Its not everyday you hear the worlds greatest detective admit they were wrong” you say with your head resting on Ranpos chest.

“Hey now, don’t get too used to it!” He hugs back, hell never admit it, but he loves it when you call him “the worlds greatest detective.”

“Now how about some snacks to eat!” He says with stars in his eyes.

“Ranpo..” you say with a confused yet disappointed face.

“Im just messing with you love!~” he says smiling.

———————————————————————————

Whew! First ever story made by me, I hope I did okay, feel free to leave any feed back! All is appreciated! <3

[i-got-bored]

okay so after entering the dw fandom i decided to watch good omens bcs jesus christ its hard to avoid spoilers lmao - i just finished it and - OUCH??? anyway a few thoughts lmao -casting was perfect oh my lord -okay, these mfs are acc in love, i thought it was fandom being fandom but NOPE! -one day i'll stop getting attatched to relationships that cant even say 'i love you' -less likely that one day i'll stop getting attatched to chaotic ansgty bitches -THAT LAST EPISODE HURT like i thought people were over exaggerating "im not much of a romance person" i tell myself but NEVER FUCKING MIND -gabriel and beelzebub were the last things i expected -gonna be a great series for rewatching; short, sweet and angsty -Crowley's music taste is top tier -i now know what ineffable means

[eggsyondaside24]

Andreas "Andy" Behm (Hunger Game OC)

District 2 male, 69th games

15 years old

ESFP

On the surface, Andy seems like your average career brat. Overconfident, edgy asf, athletic, and obsessed with glory and fun. And… yeah he’s all of those things in reality, but it’s been greatly exaggerated to fit in with his bros. He has a more kind and sensitive side to him, but he bottles up because he’s been taught that this sort of stuff is weak and for SISSY GIRLS. A part of him wouldn’t have even volunteered for the games because he thought it was too terrifying, but peer pressure can make people do wonders and now here he is.

Early in the games, he gets insanely traumatized. Like it fucks him up bad, and he develops something akin to acute stress disorder. It severely impacts his performance in the games, like freaking out at the sight of gore. The entire pack was pretty irritated by his crap, but nobody is harsher than himself. Like I said, he was taught that fear and sensitivity were a weakness, and being weak is considered completely worthless in career culture, so he was pretty much ripping himself apart and having self-esteen crisis because he can’t kill people with delight like the other cooler career mfs.

Fun fact: His last name comes from a character from All Quiet on the Western Front (Joseph Behm I think? His name is Ludwig Behm in the 2022 movie tho). His whole thing is that even though he was reluctant about enlisting for the war, he was coerced into doing it anyway because of peer pressure, which ended in him getting killed 3 months into his service (or literally 1 day if you wanna go by the 2022 movie).

Other OCs:

Toby Morrow

Briar South

Anaiya Winnow

Nerian Wagner

Rietta Morrow