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butchfalin · 1 year ago

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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

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stil-lindigo · 7 months ago

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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

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ohiois4lov3rsx · 4 months ago

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It's been a while since I've felt like this. Grief really does come in waves.

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miguenhasthoughts · 8 months ago

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TW: Domestic Abuse. Child Abuse. Neglect. Drug Abuse. Mental Breakdown. Mention of Suicide Attempt.

Perception is a funny thing. Some memories seem so clear yet others in the moment might carry a whole other experience.

I’ve been told that I used to hide behind the couch when my parents would fight. I have memories of being behind the couch, I remember the texture of the carpet, I remember it would around seven and sun was already setting. It made the room dark as the light lowered second by second. I remember looking up at my parents as they stood in the kitchen. I don’t remember the fighting. It’s a funny thing. I thought my parents were happily married.

When my dad went to jail. I thought that somehow made me a bad as well. Why would I think that? I hadn’t done anything wrong. Yet I feared I would. When you are a kid you sort of assume you’ll follow in your parent’s footsteps steps. My family hated my dad, they had good reason. Yet they all took it out me because I was his child. Maybe I was guilty I thought.

I lived with my sister for a year. She didn’t make me go to school. She’d put thick blankets on the windows to keep it nice and dark in the house. She let me play video games all day and she would bring me all my favorite snacks. My BIL would be gone all day and only show up at night. He knew something wasn’t right but instead of being an adult he would pick on me for letting myself be spoiled. I didn’t know at the time was I was being appeased so I wasn’t made aware of the neglect going on. My BIL would push masc stereotypes on me and it made me uncomfortable. He would come and argue with my sister then leave again. I would play a game with them, I would help them screw the hinges off the doors when one of them would lock themselves away from the other. It didn’t click for me how bad they were abusing eachother. My sister would treat stabbing her husband as a cutesy thing. As a child adults can downplay their bad behavior where it’s not as scary as it should be. I would find out later that my sister and her husband were on meth.

My dad was deported. He said he’d get therapy when he got out. That wasn’t the case once he knew he would get deported. Instead he continued to manipulate my mom by using me as leverage. I didn’t know I played a part in the choices these adults made. He was a bastard of a man. He had a smile smeared with shit that most wouldn’t notice. My dad made me uncomfortable after that point. It wasn’t long till I found out he was cheating on my mom. After we moved to a whole other country because of him. I didn’t know right away and before I found out my mom would be hysterical, screaming her head off because she had enough of his bullshit. My dad tried to manipulate me to his side saying my mom was crazy while he stood calm and quiet. Classic abuse tactic. Yet I never fell for it. I trusted my mom more than I could ever trust him.

I was a teenager now and I was more keen on my rights and wrongs. Not that it mattered. My mom suffered temporary amnesia due to the abuse. She didn’t even recognize me. My father tried to convince me she was faking. That’s how much of a bastard he was. I saw my mom stab my dad. A few times. My dad would do this thing where he would choke my mom and then call me into the room and attempt to gaslight my mom saying he wasn’t just suffocating her while she pleaded to me and what had just occurred. That fucked with my perception. Yet I always believed my mom.

When my mom left. My dad would go on week long trips. He’d leave me money to survive. I was 15. At the time I thought it was pretty neat. I had all the independence I wanted. I started to drink and smoke and stay out all night. I wouldn’t eat so I can use the money for partying. I didn’t realize I was being neglected again. I tell this story to people and they are horrified when I remember it as a fond time in my childhood. Though there was a lingering feeling of being unlovable. This would be around the time of my first suicide attempt. So why do I hold those memories so dear despite how awful they actually were?

By the time I finally lived with my mom again. Back in the states. I was so confused why my parents tried to make it work. When I moved out on my own. My mom planned on moving back with my dad. Despite all the fighting and abuse. I didn’t get it. I was told all my life that no matter what I should still love my dad. So at the time I did. I was never taught to hold someone accountable. At some point my mom came to her senses and she bowed out at the last second and broke up with my dad. I remember being on the phone with my dad. I brought up all the bad things he did and how it’s probably for the better. I told him that I didn’t think his past actions made him a bad person forever, that I believed he could grow as a person and that I would always be there for him because he was my father and that I loved him.

That was the last time I talked to my dad. He ghosted me after that. I remember he reciprocated the support on the phone but there must’ve been a point where his wants outweighed his love for me. Then those feelings of neglect and feeling unlovable returned. Three months later it was my birthday. I remember that birthday. My mom tried to reassure me he would call me for my birthday. He didn’t. Usually people are busy for my birthday so all I could depend on was my immediate family and they let me down. Now when my birthday comes around I always feel depressed and unlovable.

This trend keeps happening in my life. It’s hard not to think the problem lays with me. Yet no one can tell me what is wrong with me. All I have is this trauma I have the privilege of sharing.

#trauma dumping #abandoment issues #venting #it’s way too late for this shit.#I thought things would be different #perception is fucked #ghosted #trigger warning #suicide warning #domestic abuse #drug abuse #neglect

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keets-writing-corner · 10 months ago

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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months ago

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I hope you take this as the compliment it is intended to be, but you strike the same chord of irreverence-as-love, jokes-to-showcase-sencerity that I get from Chuck Tingle, and I adore both of you.

You have bestowed the greatest honour upon me.

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangij #wei wuxian #digital art #ask #Thank you very much; I do take it as the compliment you intended it to be B*)#Mr. Tingle is a legend in both grindset and vibes. To be even 0.1% striking a similar chord is an aspiration of mine.#I also want to honour the effort I put into this parody book cover. Which was a *lot* more than one would think.#Covers were analyzed. I did research and took notes. I learned how to download fonts. 4 different programs were used.#This file is also poster sized (A4 dimensions)! I thought It would make the joke funnier for some reason.#Chuck Tingle's style is very iconic and fun to replicate. Despite the time intensive labour - I had a blast making this!#I admit to skimming most of the chapter this is based off of just to fact check a few details but boy did I learn things.#Wei Wuxian canonically has CAKE. Tiny waist and a fat ass.#I took several more notes but I will warn you now that I can't *not* find smut writing to be very funny.#This was pure chaos. Unbridled chaos. WWX really did shove a sword up his ass to bully dream-LWJ.#The need to be a little shit trumps saftey I guess.#There is a 99.9% chance I will not cover the extras so this is likely all the fans of those chapters will get from PD-MDZS.

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egophiliac · 3 months ago

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Since book 7 part 5 (the part where we meet Meleanor/Maleanor 👀) is coming to EN this month, i would love to see your take on lilia’s proposal to meleanor! i mean they were like little kids right? it couldn’t have been that serious…i think the only reason she even brought it up again is because she could tell lilia still genuinely loved her…(even if he didn’t realize it himself?) but, oh well! Let’s think about silly childhood shenanigans to numb the pain! ^_^ (orz)

oh shit?! get ready for a doozy guys, it's comiiiiiing ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

I chickened out of posting the whole thing (look, I get VERY carried away when it comes to these wacky kids and their Tragedy), but I do believe that it probably ended with Lilia getting embarrassed and just shoving the first thing he sees into his mouth to try and cover for it.

(we're just lucky it wasn't a frog this time)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers #please excuse the Dissertation that's about to happen (i have too much headcanon about them)#they've been ambiguous about most of the fae aging/developmental stages (plus lilia and mel's species age differently)#so this is entirely me assuming based on context #but i think that lilia being ~99 was probably about the equivalent of 9-10ish?#(i don't think his age maps perfectly onto 'human age times 10') (if only because i absolutely do not believe general lilia is 29)#(but in this case it feels right to me)#and i think of meleanor as being just slightly older (like ~11-12ish)#so like...kids but not LITTLE-little kids #so i think lilia was serious in a 'i have a huge crush on you and i haven't thought beyond that' kind of way #and meanwhile mel was more cognizant of how their dynamic was basically #lilia: i would die for you #meleanor: that's dumb #(lilia 600 years later: man she was right. that was dumb.)#but yeah I think she might've assumed (or hoped) he would grow out of it #except whoops oh no it just got worse #and then raverne made things MORE complicated and you know honestly maybe getting murdered was kind of a relief #meleanor in heaven: well at least he won't accidentally raise my kid to have the exact same -- are you kidding me #(i have too many thoughts to express properly i'm sorry) (i just. love these morons a lot okay.)

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yanderespamton78 · 6 months ago

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Edit since a lot of people seem confused - your "real" name is the name that you want to be referred to in real life. It doesn't have to be your legal name. So if you're trans and you have a different name to whats on your birth certificate, even if not many people call you by the name, it still counts as your real name.

Edit 2 : Holy shit guys please stop reblogging this post my poor inbox im getting like 20 notifs an hour asjfhkajshdkh /lh /srs

#FUN FACT : charlie isnt my real name :]#i decided to go with the name charlie because i didnt wanna use my real name and i like the name charlie #my parents were gonna call me charlie when i was born but didnt in the end #i dont really know why i dont just tell you lot my real name because its a super common name #another thing that using a diff name online has caused is me seeing “charlie” almost as a different person #theres “[wearegonnapretendiputmyrealnamehere]” and then theres “Charlie” and they are two different people in my mind #idk aksjffhkajsshdka #anyways this is the second poll ive made today what is my deal with polls #i should make a seperate poll tag for all my fucking polls that i make #I MAKE A LOT #ill tag all my polls when i think of a good name lol #anyways woah i got a bit rambly there #did i make a whole ass poll just because i thought you might find it interesting that my real name wasnt charlie?#yes. yes i did.#(DO NOT take this as me not wanting you lot to call me charlie i would prefer you use that name over anything else lol)#polls #tumblr polls #random polls

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blueskittlesart · 1 year ago

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Now that you're gone

#*guy who just spent a full month selling 60 pages worth of comics voice* i should write another comic #this is part 1 of 2 btw. i have another one scripted from aryll's pov LOL #anyway. the concept for this has been in my head for like. years. finally decided to actually write it tho lol #the thought of his family after the initial calamity strike makes me crazy. they lost him. but he was already gone.#he was gone the moment he picked up that sword. could they have stopped it? should they have?#would things have ended any differently if they'd tried? or would it only have been worse for him?#ANYWAY. hi everyone new black and white zelda comic from the black and white zelda comic guy #skribbles #botw #loz #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #totk #tears of the kingdom #OH SHIT. TRIGGER WARNINGS #tw gore #tw suicide #tw suicidal ideation #<sorry 4 forgetting at first LMAO

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puppyeared · 4 months ago

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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago

#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW #when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas #or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it #my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT #IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently #most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of #smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say #its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words #its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me #5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention #doodles #diary #sona #puppysona #comics

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technically-human · 2 months ago

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Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...

Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...

Part one

#dead boy detectives #dbda #payneland #edwin x charles #reverse verse #there's a lot i could say about this one #the idea of someone telling edwin he's go to hell is absurd as it is #edwin telling edwin? lmao #the charles... oh they hate each other #reverse charles is angry (he always is) because this other version of himself was spared hell... in exchange for edwin going there?#obviously it doesn't work like that. og charles hadn't even been born when his edwin was sent to hell #but anger is not a rational thing. especially not for this boy #og charles? you don't want to know what he's thinking #i'm telling you anyways #he... kind of agrees. if someone had to go to hell #why edwin? why not him? there is an universe in which that happened #so why not this one? unfair #then again... look at this charles who did go to hell #he's explosive. he's DANGEROUS #he shouldn't be near edwin #if og charles had gone to hell would he be the same? would he be too angry to be trusted? would he be like his father?#and if so would that really count as saving edwin at all?#if this is the kind of best friend poor edwin would end up with?#on a happier note though #physical contact!! reverse charles loves it #i don't have all the details but his hell was on the rage ring so it was different to the dollhouse.#and it was a very violent place so boy loves gentle touches #luckily edwin is more willing to give them to him with each year #i think what the edwins are feeling is a lot more clear #but still would love to hear your thoughts

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sunny-knight · 1 month ago

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“Don’t… don’t tell him you think dingbat fonts are cool.”

AUGH @forgettable-au fanart :3 been on another roll with it (in agony constantly)

theres some untranslated wingdings cause i love translating it myself, hope others do too :D

not confident on how “canon” or in-character this is but- I HAD FUN this AU has really got me in the rendering spirit, I really enjoy taking inspiration but also adding mu own silly twists on it and AAA everything looks even more tasty now

I view this as them in New Home after getting something to eat (after the last page update) and heading back the same way since Alphys’ place is on the way to The Lab. The font convo comes back up again and then yeah

Alsoooo if youre interested in behind the scenes stuff heres the speedpaint :3

also i never poster about this- but i had another forgettable dream. it didn’t make any godamn sense. I woke up and drew the only scene I could remember:

Wingdings and Sans had a fight and ig wingdings killed Sans 😭😭😭 in a stairwell for some reason

and current Sans, Papyrus brother Sans, is like watching all of this and was brought here by Lancer like a Ghost Of Christmas Past type situation. Idk why. I choose not to attempt to make sense of this anymore. But i swear this is an actual dream i had 😭

#undertale #undertale fanart #undertale au #forgettable au #forgettable au fanart #wingdings i hate you #/pos #wingdings is the bane of my existence #/aff #it doesnt look like New Home #ignore that #angst?#more funny than sad #but still sad #Cause I imagine wingdings was so bothered by the fact that he couldnt talk to anyone without Sans’ help #and he couldnt get the hang of speaking in a different font for the longest time #so he just kinda became apathetic to the idea of making any kind of connection #with anything that wasnt science #like now he ‘doesnt care’#but before DUDE WAS STRUGGLING #i have a sneaking suspicion he still is struggling #like mans is lying to himself fr fr #but also THE FUNNY #I love just thinking about the inflection on how they would say their lines #yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh… ‘cooool’#i got this idea from how I always thought of Gaster as really cool before this au #like omg bro can speak in SYMBOLS??? THATS RAD #but then- oh yeah if you really think about it…#thats not all that cool. cause yknow #talking to people and making connections is a thing.

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gordonfreemanspussy · 2 months ago

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happy october :]

@scienceteamtober day 1: before the game

with lovely beautiful awesome forever character art by @winkreallyisntable goes CRAZY!!! full art below the cut.

#hlvrai #scienceteamtober #original things #3d renders #AHHH MY APOLOGIES TO SCIENCETEAMTOBER HOST POTIONBARREL BTW! I DID NOT SEE THEIR PIECE BEFORE I STARTED THIS...#it is beautiful to see similar concepts from different perspectives but STILL i hope this does not come across as nabbing your idea :wails:#also ignore the fact that gordon exclusively owns copies of kane and lynch 2 i thought it would be funny and it saved on time.#AND because i am a computers guy i have to ignore how much sense this doesn't make with my interpretation [if i'm taking hlvrai seriously]#of how the game shit works and happens #like bro they either would not exist yet or would not yet be installed u get me right #BUT THAT SAID LIKE!!!#i love the vibe of them Waiting. heaheahea. initially this was just gonna be benrey but then i got coda on board and it was silly time.#this was awesome to make. yay :]#yay moment #IGNORE THAT I AM . LATE IN MOST TIME ZONES. HAHAHAHA.

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k1tty5 · 30 days ago

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slab guy

#my art #ethoslab fanart #etho fanart #ethoslab #etho #trafficblr #life series #i put a lot more time and thought into this design than i normally do #tried to make it a teensie bit more detailed to see how it would look #since i want to try different things with my art ?#i’m… decently ? happy with how it came out.#+ i’ve been working on my colors and UPDATE !!! I no longer have a burning hatred for them. i somewhat enjoy coloring things now #um anyway this was meant to be a double life design because i was rewatching ethos pov of double life because im not okay #but like the only thing hinting at that is the boat patch and i think this would be my normal design if it didnt have that. SO.#whatever #I also kinda wish i made the background darker. but i do not care enough to fix it

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benevolenterrancy · 1 month ago

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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)