#I think this is helpful to understand as well for a lot of polyamorous people because sometimes our abusers wont weaponize jealousy

[chinbiz]

Idk if this is helpful to anybody else, but control in abuse doesn't always look as obvious as straight up forbidding someone from doing something. It can come in the form of telling you that you can do what you want, and then weaponizing shame to discourage you from doing those things. It can come in the form of giving you repeated unwanted "advice" on how to look nicer, pass better, act more appealing. It can come in the form of punishing you by giving the things they know you want/already promised you to other people instead. It can come in the form of pressuring you to do the things they want, and trying to get you to believe it was your idea, and if you push back or resist, twisting it into a mutual idea. It can come in the form of comparing you to other people and telling you that this other person lets them take charge and why can't you? It can come in the form of subtly sabotaging you as a joke, like leaving a mark on your face after you've just done your makeup.

Stay safe out there, and remember that nobody's personality is just "so big" that they have to snuff you out. That's abuse. You're dealing with an abuser.

Also just a side note for polyamorous people but yeah it's a huge red flag if you and your meta regularly have to "unionize" to get your needs met. Like it sounds cutesy without thinking about it but you shouldn't have to gang up on your partner for them to listen to you. It shouldn't take 2 or 3 people for them to understand what they're doing is wrong

[saintjosie]

Hi Josie! I really like your blog and your posts 😊 You are always so receptive and kind in your asks when people come to you seeking advice and whatnot. So here goes: I think I might be poly... well, I've been feeling "poly-curious" for a while now. My question is: How did you know you were poly?

(hope I'm not crossing any line, if so, I apologize)

hmm i’m not sure i have a super helpful answer for you. i kinda just knew. in the same way i knew i wasn’t straight or a boy, i knew that it didn’t make sense to me that i could only love one person.

when i was married i would have crushes on other people and because of forced monogamy, i felt guilty about it. i thought that i was cheating in my mind, even if i didnt act on it. but the thing was that even though i would have a crush on someone, it didn’t mean that i loved my wife any less, and because our relationship was monogamous, i didn’t act on those crushes.

to be honest, i think a lot of people cling to monogamy out of comfort and safety. it’s simple to say, i will have one person and they will be MY person. they will love only me and i will have all their love. and while it is super valid to want that comfort and safety, i think it’s silly to impose monogamy on ourselves and the people around us when we as humans are clearly capable of loving more than one person.

i think that there is nothing wrong with monogamy, especially if those are the boundaries set by both members of a relationship, but also i don’t think that anyone is wired to be monogamous or polyamorous in the same way that people are gay or trans. i think that when it comes to relationships, we put limitations on ourselves because of societal expectations, because capitalism and colonization wants to enforce monogamy and a nuclear family because that’s how you maximize the birth rate, a crucial element to ensuring that there will always be a new working class. but our default state is simply to love those in our lives, whatever shape that love takes.

i think a big thing that a lot of people are missing is that polyamory works best when each member of a relationship is able to love themselves fully or be constantly working towards loving themselves. there’s a john green quote that says something like “we accept the love we think we deserve”. and it took me a really long time to understand what that means, but for me that means, if i don’t love myself, than how could i accept that someone else loves me as much as they do? if someone else loves me more than i love myself, then how could i possibly accept the reality of how full and deep their love is? we are only capable of accepting as much love as we can conceive.

if you’re seriously thinking about polyamory, i think it’s important to ask yourself, “do i love myself?” and if not, then ask yourself, why are you wanting more than one partner? if it’s to feel more loved without loving yourself, then you will always feel like something is missing because you will always be searching for love from someone else instead of learning to love yourself.

good luck and i hope this helps 🙂

[stayevildarling]

wait?!?! you‘re considering writing for wandanat??😩 omg!! can you please write them with reader x cordelia goode!! maybe something angsty where reader gets hurt on a mission or something and tries to play it down

Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff x Cordelia Goode x Reader- One too many secrets

A/N: I have honestly been captured by marvel and wandanat. I couldn't help writing for them but I wanted to keep some of my ,,normal'' writing in there so I added Cordelia. This is my first time obviously writing Natasha and Wanda so I have no clue whether this is accurate or makes a lot of sense. Let me know what you think though as I quite enjoyed this 🫶🏻

tags/warnings: female reader, established relationship, quad polyamorous relationship, mention of violence, mention of gunshot, mention of blood, cursing, angst, fluff

translation: detka= baby, malishka= baby girl , zlatko= sweetheart

word count: 4.5k

taglist: (if you want to be added just sent me an ask/dm or comment)

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay , @whitelotus00 , @ninaahs , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @paulsonsratched , @stepintomyworld , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometime , @ohrwurm26 , @wastdstime

Todays mission had started out like any other mission, a quick briefing first, Tony talking you through most of the details and that you and the others had got this. Gathering your things before walking towards one of the quinjets and getting going. The last time you had both seen Wanda and Cordelia was two days ago now, travelling back and forth to the avengers compound and getting some training and exercise in, as well as greeting and chatting to some old friends.

They hated it, well Wanda only really did when she wasn't able to come along, however she had been stuck on another mission for the past few days and pretty much only got back when the two of you had to leave. Cordelia hated it altogether, she had met the avengers briefly and the three of you tried to be as open and communicative as possible, knowing the blonde wouldn't be able to cope with her crippling anxiety and worry otherwise. So, you had taken her to the compound a few times, getting to meet Tony and some of the others there. And despite the man even offering her to join them all, she refused, too busy with her own responsibilities of leading Miss Robichaux's Academy as their headmistress but also their supreme.

Cordelia was also your supreme, teaching you the basics years ago when you were dropped at the academy and didn't understand your powers and why no one wanted you. Somehow you stumbled upon the avengers, Wanda first before meeting everyone else and somehow getting caught in between it all. This was for sure never the life you had imagined, thinking you would grow old in the academy alongside Cordelia. However, a certain ginger and redhead somehow didn't only sweep you off your feet but equally the blonde sunshine that had been in your life for years. And so, the four of you slowly and with a few ups and downs along the way, built your life together, both away from the avengers compound and the academy, enjoying a more quiet and private space, rather than constantly being around people. Natasha's flying skills allowed her to easily move between places and Cordelia and Wanda's magic, as well as yours allowed the three of you to get wherever you wanted quickly.

As the quinjet prepares for landing, you glance at Natasha, who sits in the cockpit with Clint and you can't help but the small smile escaping you as you see her in her element. She loved this and you knew she did, however she especially enjoyed when her detka came along on missions. She had seen Wanda's magic on missions of course and her eyes always widened in that exact same way, disbelief, admiration and the slight shock. However your magic was different, so much lighter and beautiful and she enjoyed whenever she got to watch you or the supreme. It took a while to get you to where you are, Natasha training you to be her own little assassin and teaching you everything she had ever known and learned over the span of her life. She wanted to make sure you could protect yourself, hating the thought of anything ever happening to you and her not teaching you properly beforehand.

Your two girlfriends were utterly different. Sometimes when missions allowed it, the three of you would join in together. Wanda always fussed over you, often checking in with her magic to feel you close by when she couldn't see you. Not necessarily liking the thought of you doing all of these big adult things before Natasha had talked her out of those concern. Natasha let you do your own thing, trusting your abilities, magic and what she had taught you enough. However, her green eyes always lingered nearby, making sure someone wasn't getting a little too close to you, that the avengers didn't push you too much and didn't expect too much of you. She thought of you as a privilege to have around and help out and she made sure to treat you like that.

,,Ready Malishka?'' you hear her whisper as she brushes past, turning to smile at you before she follows the others. ,,Ready'' you assure with a smile, slightly taken back by her outfit and how badass she looked, especially with the flaming red hair, her smell lingering as she walks past and reminding you of home.

It really was supposed to be a quick in and out, Clint, Natasha and some others clearing the way for you, getting rid of some guards lingering nearby before getting to the big guys. Once inside, it was your job to finish the interrogation part, assuming they wouldn't talk and the avengers relying on you to use your Telepathy, read their minds and making them spill all the secrets, they would surely die for to protect. And it almost seemed a little too easy, as the three of you, including some backup cleared the way and eventually had the guys exactly where you wanted them. Bucky and Natasha tying them to some chairs before asking their questions, you eventually joining in and making them spill all their secrets. You had gotten what you wanted, Natasha filling in Tony who stayed behind, content with what you had gathered.

Yet, somehow you had missed something. Maybe it was due to the fact that you thought danger was averted, maybe you had been too taken back by your girlfriend and how both badass and beautiful she was or maybe it was the thought of relief and thinking you could return to your other two girlfriends waiting at home after finishing your mission reports once returned. It must have either been the cameras or the guys somehow alerting backup and almost as the four of you made it back, more guards appeared in front of you, heavily armed and ready to fight. Natasha was the first to notice, quickly tackling the first two running around the corner, Clint shooting some of his arrows, making some more fly across the floor. And you equally used your magic, making the new wave of them fly across the hallway and knocking them unconscious, Natasha watching and smirking in adoration.

As Natasha winks at you, she watches as your face turns serious, the three of them expecting danger to be averted as it had been deadly silent. However, your magic was quick to alert you that you had missed something, sending an all too familiar shiver down your spine and the feeling of doom that was nearby. You were no supreme, and usually this was a power that only Cordelia and Wanda managed to use. ,,Incoming'' you quickly alert them, their faces growing serious with concern. As you look around you, trying to find the obvious sign of what was going on, you glance around only to find another flood of them coming basically out of nowhere. ,,Fucking hell'' Natasha curses before the four of you get back into action, fighting to get out of there as really your mission was done and successful. Again you use your magic to send most of them shooting across the hallway and into the nearest wall.

However as you glance at Natasha, you watch her surrounded by some big guys, and despite the Russian definitely not needing your assistance, you can't help the overwhelming feeling of wanting to keep her safe. In a swift motion, you send half of them flying across the floor, quickly teleporting near her. ,,Nice one'' she praises as she chuckles. The room fills with the sound of more grunting and gunshots as the last wave of guards attempt to stop you from exiting with all the informations you had gathered. It doesn't take too long before the four of you manage to send them to the floor as well. Caught in the heat of it all, you had missed the excruciating pain you felt on your back, swallowing the lump in your throat and ignoring the obvious signs of pain and shock your body was alerting you of.

,,Detka, you okay?'' Natasha reassures as you exit the building and make your way towards the quinjet. ,,All good'' you smile, before she buckles you into your seat and begins taking you all back home. You should have said something, the pain increasing by the minute and causing your vision to blur slightly as you feel the throbbing pain in your shoulder. You had always been a little stubborn, not wanting to show weakness in front of them as especially your girlfriends lifes so far had been filled with nothing but pain and grief. And you never wanted to add to it, always making sure to help them out in whatever way you could, whether it was helping Nat with training, Cordelia with the academy or Wanda with things she was doing around the house.

Before your eyes feel heavier by the minute, you manage to linger your hand over the source of the pain, your magic slowly easing it a little before you allow your eyes to close. Your healing magic for sure was nothing compared to Wanda or Delia's and so the only thing it managed to do is ease the pain, lulling you to sleep a little, however the bullet remaining inside your shoulder, as well as blood dripping slowly down the inside of your clothing. It doesn't take long before you make it back, the quinjet allowing you to travel through the sky in no time before making it back to headquarters. As Natasha gets ready to follow the others, her eyes land on your sleeping form, still strapped into your seat and she can't help but frown, knowing how tiring and exhausting missions could be. ,,Detka, wake up'' she tries softly, nudging your shoulder moments later in an attempt to wake you.

As the pain shoots through your body again, your eyes widen, your mouth slightly agape but quickly composing yourself as you see the concerned green eyes from your girlfriend in front of you. She had noticed of course, ever the perceptive one, how your face was much paler, eyes filled with pain and the slight wincing when she had woken you moments ago. ,,Are you okay?'' she tries again, before you quickly nod, unbuckling your seatbelt and quick on your feet. Despite the dizzy spell, you take your girlfriends hand and lead her outside, following the others as you wanted nothing more than to get home. The redhead knew you to be stubborn, even secretive at times and she could tell something was up, assuming that maybe you indeed were simply tired and worn out after today, unbeknownst of the wound and the blood that continued dripping down the inside of your uniform.

The meeting following after, as well as the mission report feel like an eternity and you can't help but seek the comfort of your girlfriend. Mid meeting you had subconsciously reached for her hand underneath the table and she squeezed it tight, you not usually the affectionate type, especially when it was outside of your home and sacred, safe walls. After another hour, Natasha is quick to guide the two of you outside and back home, noticing how with each minute passing you seem more tired and practically falling asleep on her shoulder. She couldn't help but admire how comfortable you seem, resting your head on her and how her presence noticeably made you feel safe. She had taken a mental note to get either Wanda or Cordelia to check on you after this mission, making sure that you didn't get hurt, whether that was physically or something bothering you else wise.

,,Malishka, we're home'' the voice of your girlfriend softly awakens you, your eyes quickly falling shut again as the pain continued to pierce through you and almost take your breath away.

,,Come on sleepyhead'' she tries again, chuckling a little before you follow her inside, your heart beating a little faster as you think about getting to see your girlfriends in a moment.

As soon as the two of you step inside, the air is filled with both Cordelia and Wanda's cooking. You can't help but smile, assuming that Delia had cooked dinner and Wanda probably baked something, the two of them enjoying greeting you like that after a long mission. ,,Hi there'' Cordelia beams, greeting Natasha with a kiss on the cheek, before opening her arms to you. ,,Hi sweetheart'' Cordelia coos, as you practically fall into her arms, the exhausting heavy on your features and tired body. ,,There are my two favourite girls'' Wanda chuckles softly upon laying eyes on you both.

,,How did it go?'' Wanda asks curiously, not really having been able to think about much other than the two of you and the mission, despite Cordelia trying to distract her. ,,All good, our detka kicked ass'' Natasha chuckles, causing Wanda to smirk a little and Cordelia to smile proudly.

The supreme could tell there was something bothering you, her senses and the love she feels for you, instantly alerting her of something. However she wasn't quite sure what but the way you had held onto her for a second longer than your usual greeting hug, the way your eyes looked a little different and missed the usual sparkle and just your overall form. ,,Are you two hungry?'' Wanda tries, watching as Natasha is quick to toss her jacket away, having already showered at the compound but you insisting on showering at home. ,,Shower first please'' you manage to mumble out, before the three of them share a knowing glance. ,,Of course sweetheart'' Cordelia softly assures before you walk towards the bedroom. ,,Need any help zlatko?'' Wanda tries but you simply shake your head, thankfully declining her offer.

As soon as the shower is to be heard, Wanda and Cordelia simultaneously glance at Natasha, who stands by the kitchen counter, already stuffing some of the cookies that Wanda had made into her mouth. ,,What?'' she shrugs, her two girlfriends not being able to hide the smirk at her adorable antics. ,,How did that mission go Nat? really?'' Wanda tries, her and the blonde sharing the same concern over you. ,,It was good'' Natasha begins speaking, trying to swallow the cookies before getting scolded for speaking with her mouth full. ,,Y/N was great- as always'' she reassures before she meets their concerned glances. ,,I think she's tired, she fell asleep pretty much as we headed back and she's been a bit clingy since'' the redhead announces, before taking another mouthful of cookies and Wanda raises an eyebrow in return.

A set of green eyes meet Cordelia's brown ones, Wanda sharing the concern over you and knowing it had always been important to you to keep this professional, especially when around the others. Meanwhile you had somehow managed to get inside the shower, washing most of the blood and dirt away from the day, despite the soaring pain that was hard to ignore by now. It took you a while to wash yourself, really only having one arm available to do so. Before you know it, you find yourself half dressed, in front of the bathroom mirror, on your tip toes, trying hard to get a good look on your wound and trying to determine what you needed to do in order to heal it with your magic abilities. However as you try to turn a little, another wave of dizziness washes over you, causing you to stumble forwards and grip towards the sink, causing the several shampoo, conditioner and soap bottles to fall to the ground with an alarming noise.

,,Sweetheart, are you alright?'' you hear the voice of your blonde girlfriend moments later, internally cursing yourself for being so stupid and knowing they would be furious if they found out like this now. ,,Darling?'' Wanda tries next, and despite wanting nothing more than to answer, to reassure that you are fine and make the worry very evident in their voices, go away, you couldn't. The dizziness held a tight grip around you, making it impossible to open your eyes, the bright light only adding to your state. The pain causing the lump in your throat to get bigger, tears beginning to spill almost if your eyes had been open. It takes mere seconds before the door bursts open and you are unsure in your state whether you had locked it to begin with, unsure whether Natasha had simply kicked in the door, or whether your other two girlfriends had used their magic to open the door.

,,Y/N'' Cordelia calls out, watching your frame as you grip harder around the sink, Wanda's eyes immediately landing on your shoulder and seeing the blood and wound. They are quick to rush over, Wanda also calling for Natasha and the redhead quick to equally jolt towards the bathroom. ,,What happened?'' the redhead speaks with concern, before her eyes lay upon you. ,,Dammit detka'' she curses, finally understanding what had happened and why you had been so quiet. ,,Alright, sweetheart, let's sit you down'' Cordelia tries softly, despite the panic very evident in her voice and features. Wanda and Natasha are quick to get you to sit down, careful of your injury. ,,Looks like it's still in there'' the redhead remarks, having seen her fair share of gunshots in her line of work. ,,You can fix this right?'' she asks, her voice betraying the hint of worry as the color continues draining from your face.

Wanda and Cordelia's gazes meet, certain they can fix this but determining how. Their magics worked quite differently and while it would take healing potions and swamp mud for Cordelia to fix it, it pretty much only takes a flick of Wanda's wrist to fix your injury and so she is quick to light her hands in a red color before the blood and bullet slowly fade, making the wound disappear altogether. Cordelia watches in awe, Natasha watching in relief as your shoulder is back to normal due to Wanda's magical abilities. ,,Darling, are you alright?'' the scarlet witch questions softly, noticing your face still a little pale and face scrunched up in pain. In reality, you felt more guilty than anything, knowing they would be upset with you now, the pain still lingering on your shoulder due to the impact and how long it had been there. ,,Fine, thank you'' you manage to mumble, before Cordelia is quick to help you on your feet and finish getting you dressed.

As the supreme leads you back towards the bedroom, offering you some rest after the shock from today, you can already hear your other girlfriends voices raising from the room next door. ,,Nat, calm down'' Wanda tries softly, noticing how the redhead was visibly upset, pacing back and forth the living room, her fists clenched. ,,No- she should have talked to me for gods sake''. Cordelia frowns watching your guilty eyes and the tears threatening to spill any moment, despite the fatigue and sleepiness very visible in your features and tired eyes. ,,You get some rest darling and we'll be right here'' the supreme reassures, tugging you in a little and pressing a soft, comforting kiss on your forehead.

,,Enough'' the blonde scolds as she makes her way back towards the living room. Natasha simply rolls her eyes, Wanda's concerned eyes following the redhead as she continues pacing. ,,She could have jeopardised the whole mission'' the redhead sighs before she continues speaking ,,If one of us gets hurt, we tell the other one'' she sighs now, the anger slowly subsiding from her features before it turns into hurt, her eyes glistening with tears. ,,Hey hey'' Wanda tries, moving towards her girlfriend before taking her shaky hands into her steady ones. ,,Our little one certainly is good at keeping secrets'' Wanda begins, Cordelia nodding in agreement. ,,But I'm sure she just wanted to keep everyone safe'' Wanda tries reasoning with her girlfriends, despite feeling furious herself, given what could have happened.

,,I didn't see it, I thought she was tired'' Natasha sighs again, almost mumbling the words as a tear falls down her cheek. ,,Honey-'' Cordelia coos, quick to wipe the tear from her girlfriends features. ,,Like Wands here said, she's stubborn but you couldn't have known'' they reassure, slowly coaxing the avenger out of her shell and state. ,,I'm sure you must be hungry darling'' the blonde tries softly, before some guilty puppy eyes meet her brown ones. ,,Come on'' Wanda chuckles, taking Natasha's hand and leading her towards the dining room.

By the time you finally awaken from your slumber, your eyes eventually closing as dark shades of orange and red flooded your bedroom from the sunset, it's now replaced by a darkness. The only light source, a little lamp in the corner of your bedroom. When you turn a little, you notice both the absence of your girlfriends but also of the pain. Wanda's magic really did wonders to your state, as you can move freely without the slightest pain, despite a headache lingering. Slowly, you move the blanket from your tired body, despite feeling sleepy, wanting to be close to your girls and knowing you owed them an apology. As you walk past the dresser, you reach for a cardigan, feeling a little chilly and instantly noticing how it must be Wanda's as her scent and perfume lingers around you, instantly making you feel calm and at home.

As you step through the hallway, glancing at the countless artwork on the walls, as well as the photo wall that Wanda had added a while ago, both dorky selfies and official photos from either of you at events, you smile a little, recalling each day as if it had been yesterday. Your sleep didn't last too long, as by the time your eyes meet them, the three of them are still sitting by the dining table, having finished their meals not too long ago. With a smile, you watch Wanda bringing over the tray of cookies, Cordelia already getting a head start on the dishes. ,,Hi detka'' Wanda greets you softly as she notices you hovering by the doorframe.

,,Hi'' you mumble, the guilt very evident in your voice as your eyes fall upon both Cordelia and Wanda, still avoiding Natasha's gaze as you knew she was furious with you. ,,Are you hungry baby girl?'' the witch questions, causing you to simply nod a little shily before Cordelia reaches for your plate that she had kept warm for you. Hesitantly, you sit beside your girlfriend, Wanda joining the blonde with doing the dishes, knowing you and the redhead could use some quiet to talk this through, knowing you both to be stubborn. You gaze is dropped onto your plate, as you take slow and hesitant bites, despite feeling like starving, suddenly feeling like not eating under Natasha's gaze, the guilt consuming you and nagging at your insides. ,,Detka?'' she tries softly, seeing the genuine remorse in your eyes and feeling bad for her earlier outburst after the two had managed to calm her down.

,,Yeah?'' you whisper softly, your eyes already filling with tears. ,,Can you look at me?'' she tries, hating to see you like this and not having you meet her gaze. As soon as your eyes land upon the redhead, your vision fills with tears and she is quick to move her chair back, allowing you access to settle on her lap. ,,Come here'' she ushers and you comply, quickly getting comfortable on her lap, before holding onto her, as her strong arms wrap around yours. ,,It's okay malishka'' she reassures as she notices you sniffling in her embrace. ,,I'm sorry'' you choke on a sob, pathetically holding onto the hem of her shirt as your guilty eyes meet hers, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with todays events, despite usually being able to stay strong for your girlfriends. However, the thought of upsetting, displeasing your partners killed you inside as all you ever wanted was to make them happy, proud and content.

,,Why didn't you tell me?'' she asks softly after your cries eventually quieten down, listening to her steady heartbeat. Her tone is soft, the question sounding more curious and concerned than stern or angry and you could tell. ,,I just hate letting anyone down'' you sigh, not necessarily knowing how to put your feelings into words. ,,Detka, you didn't let anyone down, you made sure we got out of there'' she reassures, recalling your badass actions. A moment of silent follows, Cordelia and Wanda watching the exchange and a sad smile forming on their lips, seeing you two so closely, despite your pain. ,,What is it, really?'' she tries again, knowing you long enough by now to know that this wasn't the whole truth.

As you glance around, you watch as Cordelia gives you an encouraging smile, still cleaning the kitchen but obviously following the exchange between you two. ,,I just never want to burden you three'' you finally sigh, some more tears streaming from your features. Natasha's eyebrows furrow in confusion, not understanding your statement, considering the four of you had always been so loyal, so honest with each other. And you pick it up, her hesitation, the confusion washing over her face. And you knew if you had told the same to Wanda or your Delia they would have understood, knowing what it feels like to be a burden due to their past. But Natasha was tougher, fierce, being able to work out her demons on her own and having worked through her past mostly on herself.

,,I-'' you hesitate but feel Natasha's hand reaching for yours and squeezing it in a reassuring manner. ,,The three of you have been through enough and I thought I could fix it on my own'' you admit and you watch as her face almost crumbles, finally understanding your actions. And Natasha hated your statement, she hated how you put them first, their pain and grief and past before your own. She wanted to simply hold you and never let you go, tell you that they and she always want to know, always want to take care of you and never having you hide these things. ,,Detka'' she begins, taking a deep breath and hooking her finger underneath your chin so you can look into her green eyes.

,,Detka, you mean the world to us and we never want you to hide from us, we want to be there for you, just like you are always there for us three'' she reassures, watching your eyes and wanting to make sure you understand her statement. ,,Besides darling, you are a witch, not some super soldier'' she chuckles a little ,,Did you really think you could fix this without us noticing'' and your guilty puppy eyes meet her own yet again. ,,I'm just glad you're okay'' she reassures before holding you a little tighter and you finally manage to relax in her touch.

It doesn't take long, before Wanda and Cordelia join the two of you again, the supreme giving you a reassuring and proud smile for opening up, knowing it wasn't your strong suit. Wanda doing the same towards Natasha, glad the redhead had managed to calm down and talk this through with their detka. ,,Can I have a cookie now?'' you frown, before Cordelia and Wanda chuckle passing you the tray. ,,You didn't even touch your dinner darling'' Cordelia scolds softly, raising an eyebrow. ,,I'm an avenger, I can have dessert before dinner'' you protest, the three of them chuckling before Natasha presses a kiss to your forehead while still holding you in her arms. ,,Are you now?'' Wanda chuckles, finding your antics and the sight in front of her adorable. ,,Our badass avenger'' Natasha confirms, glancing at her other two lovers with a proud and satisfied smirk.

[jester-lover]

You have no idea how much I yearn for a Perfect4 (Kuro) poly! headcannon or imagine WHATEVER I need them

Pretty please 🥺❤️

fair warning for a discussions of trauma and spoilers for the manga ahead, gn! reader

A polyamorous relationship between you and the Prefects would go like...

(takes place in a post! Blue Cult reality)

These boys are bonded together after the horrific events they’ve all endured together; there’s a sense of union in the relationship they share. Besides that, after Weston and their individual exits from their families, it was enough to pull them together. All they have in this world is each other now, and you.

There are many ways you could have joined them; you could have been one of their betrothed, a particularly unlucky fan from their cult days, or just someone willing to understand and help them as they navigated the world now. Whatever led you to cross their path, all four boys adore you entirely.

After the various troubles that befall them, I’d assume they’d be left with little in terms of money or status and therefore have to pick up jobs to sustain themselves like average people do. Life would go around like clockwork with each of them picking up household jobs to keep everything running.

Edgar gardens, perhaps selling flowers at the market when he gets the chance, and writes in local poetry journals for surplus money. Lawrence maintains the finances of the household, as well as learning how to cook. Herman does the manual labor; he can easily chop firewood and build furniture. Gregory does odd jobs and draws for money, hoping to find a patron.

All of you can’t fit on one bed comfortably, so oftentimes you sleep in sets of two and three. In the colder months, you might find yourself cuddled up all together on the couch.

While polyamorous relationships, or queer relationships of any kind, were taboo and even criminal offenses in Victorian England, that didn’t mean they were nonexistent. There was most definitely an underground community of people similar to you, even if interactions with others regarding your relationship were kept to a minimum for your own safety.

Most of the time, all of you are out together, going to pubs and public parks and the such; you tend to hold on to one another by the pinky or by the sleeves of your shirts, to be close to one another but not close enough to stir suspicion.

The happiest times you’d all share together are dinners, laughing and sharing bites of food as you let the world around you drift away. 

Gregory was definitely the one who initiated the relationship between all of you; in a time when these young men would be greatly sheltered and unable to conceive bonds beyond the heteronormative, he would be the one pulling everything together.

Edgar would be the most affectionate one towards everyone else, especially you and Herman, as he deems you two easy to fluster and make blush. Lawrence reads to you and the boys about old Greek and Roman myths, where love was unfiltered and unique like yours is. 

Herman would probably hold the most reservations at first, but he finds himself comfortably surrounded by love and tenderness soon enough. That’s what makes up the majority of your bond with each other.

You hold the group to a certain amount of accountability as someone who was a bit of an outsider at first, reminding them to take care of themselves and each other. You’re less the glue that holds them together and more a working cog in the bond itself.

A lot of healing needs to be done in this situation, but the overwhelming support and care the boys have for one another and you keep you calm in the fact that nothing can ever hurt any of you so severely again.

AN: I think this is my first time writing a poly ship, hope I did it justice :)

[vaxyl]

Thinking about Vox Machina going to their first ever Pride event together... For some of them, it's also their first ever Pride event in general.

---

Scanlan has been too so many by now you'd think he would be bored of them... But he isn't!

He gets to be annoyingly pansexual in public without being deemed a nuisance!? Sign him the fuck up!!

He's flirting with everyone, he's wearing glittery face paint, he's running around with only a pansexual flag and tight glittery booty shorts on!!

He also makes sure that all of the rest of Vox Machina are safe and having a good time! Are they drinking? Well, Scan is watching over their drinks!

Are they mingling? Well, Scan is keeping a close eye on them to make sure they're not being harassed or anything!!

This isn't his first rodeo, and it sure as hell isn't going to be his last one either!! He identifies as a little nightmare to society and he will be getting his gay on!!

---

Pike has been to a few Pride events as a bisexual woman, and she's been to many as a voluntary healer and helper.

She likes the community and the silliness of these events, but her cleric training has her reluctant to join in with full reckless abandon...

That being said, she has the bi flag painted on her cheeks while she's hugging anyone who needs comforted!!

She's handing out snacks and water, she's healing injuries and listening to people's stories.

Pike is a Pride Mamma and she is fucking proud of it.

---

Taryon has never even dared to dream of attending a Pride event before - his dad wouldn't approve of it, after all.

So he's nervous and shy when Vox Machina take him to his very first event in Whitestone.

But he quickly warms up to it! There's so much colour and glitter and ribbons!!!

People are dancing and singing! Some are kissing!

It's absolutely wonderful.

Next time, He even wears the MLM gay pride flag around his shoulders as he and his new husband join the festivities.

---

Grog doesn't understand it.

But he likes parties and these events seem like parties to him.

Also, it makes his friends happy to come to these big events.

Someone asks him what he identifies as and he tells them he's not an object to identify.

He's flirted with by all types of people and tells them he's not really here for that either.

Grog is just Grog, and he is very happy to make his friends happy by watching after them as they let loose for once!

Also, the alcohol is amazing.

At some point he ends up with an agender pride flag and he doesn't know why, but Pike says that it suits him and Vax tells him to wear it as a cape because it'd look cool.

So he does. And he looks very, very fucking cool with it on.

---

Vex'ahlia has been struggling a lot to come to terms with her sexuality since she was a teen.

Growing up with her rather queerphobic father in Syngorn has left her scared to explore her bisexuality, but seeing her brother and friends open up and explore their own genders and sexualities has helped her.

Vex is quiet about it, but she wears her bisexual flag as a cape with pride and she wears her "i love my trans twin" shirt with even more pride.

She may even kiss a few folk!!

---

Vax'ildan is trans masc, enby, polyamorous and bisexual.

He has beads in the colours of the bisexual flag braided through his hair, he's wearing the nonbinary flag as a cape, his nails are painted with tiny trans flags on them...

And he can't stop smiling.

He's kissing so many people! He's dancing! He's singing! He's accidentally leading a whole ass macarena line through the streets! He's drinking fruity cocktails! He's eating cookies and cupcakes with the most ridiculously dirty decorations you could possibly imagine!

He's thriving and nobody can rain on his parade!!

(Though when he gets home, he will be plagued with the fear of his father seeing him like this and of the man's reaction.)

---

Keyleth is young and not very experienced in anything.

She is aware of the many different possible genders and sexualities out there, but she hasn't quite figured out what she is just yet - but that's fine!

Her friends tell her that they love her for her, that whatever she identifies as will be just as amazing as she is herself!

So she goes to her first Pride event nervous but curious, asking other people about how it was they figured out their genders and sexualities.

And maybe she even walks away with her own collection of new pride flags... She always did love green and purple, so the Asexual, Demiromantic and Agender pride flags are even cooler to the questioning druid.

---

The youngest of the group, Percy has no idea what he is.

Well, he knows he's a man, but he doesn't know why.

Nor does he know what his sexuality is quite yet, either.

He finds certain men hot, but he also finds Vex'ahlia hot.

And, well, some other women too - but mostly just Vex.

Vax'ildan and Vex'ahlia are both very hot, actually. It's been a bit of a problem for poor Percy.

Someone tells him he could be bisexual, or even demisexual.

But neither feels exactly right.

Maybe... Maybe both?

Yes. Both is good.

Also, the bisexual flag is pretty and both twins wear it well.

(This doesn't help Percy at all.)

[kodyfae-the-1st]

A response, i guess

Alright so I saw this pretty shit post recently, and I cant help but say I'm a little pissed. I will not be sharing the name of the blog that posted this, as i do not wish for them to be harassed.

So here's my response.

An open letter to you who wrote this.

"Hating endos is lame, hate on us instead ! We’re a DID system that believes people shouldn’t have to have their own entry in the DSM5 to be respected , apparently a controversial opinion these days !"

So though i agree in part that hate is lame as all hell, i do believe that listening to science is more punk than throwing it out the window. Yes system diversity is important as a working point in the community, it is still important to listen to the science.

Though some may not fit the diagnostics 100% doesn't mean they aren't valid that is true, but even so, there have been no scientifically supported exception to one. trauma is a necessary part, and the mind cannot and will not fracture like this without it, that should be without dispute.

"Being unapologetically plural is punk, ESPECIALLY if you don’t fit the “scientific” idea of what a real system should be."

You are right that science is not all inclusive, but i will say being anti science seems pretty conservative for a self proclaimed punk. but asides from cheap digs like that, id really recommend reading a couple scholarly articles if you are ever in doubt of the science, there is a lot to learn, and a lot left to be learnt.

"Systems should support other systems regardless of where we come from. The world doesn’t understand us and they don’t want to have to understand us, if we want to have a future where we are proudly and loudly ourselves we have to work together to make it."

Yes systems should absolutely support each other, and i do feel we fight too much sometimes. And no. the world does not understand us, but that does not mean it is ok to spread misinformation. Im sure you do this with good intention, and i too do my part with good intention. but we are fundamentally opposed, and i do not wish to support endos in a journey for recognition.

Some may genuinely have it, i do believe that, and others may be suffering from something else, so similar it may be difficult to know the difference, but i do not believe that they can be systems without trauma.

"I have to fight to be accepted as gay, i have to fight to be accepted as polyamorous, I have to fight to be accepted as trans, I have to fight to be accepted as non human, I have to fight to be accepted as autistic, I have to fight to be accepted as plural."

A lot of us have fought those same battles, i at least have, and a lot of systems still fight for this, and i do not believe that it should be a thing everyone goes through. And we still fight to accept ourselves in this, But i do not support endos fight for recognition. But i will fight with all i have to get them the help they need, because a lot of them do desperately need help. and i think that the fight to give them a support system and help is much more punk than this fight to support misinformation.

"I do not want anyone to have to fight me to be accepted as who they are, I want to fight alongside them because we’re fighting the exact same battle and it’s hard enough without us stabbing each other in the backs."

There is absolutely too much backstabbing in these communities. And i am willing to fight here alone to get them help, im not saying here that they aren't systems, some may very well be and have forgotten the trauma, but i do not wish to stand beside them in a fight against science. Im sure we'll all know more in the future with more studies made, and maybe itll turn the view on systems upside down, but until then i stand with the science, and with those that want and need help.

I do though want to mention lastly that as per the dsm-5 trauma is not noted as a criteria for diagnosis, and thus i am open to read articles of exception to this rule if they can be provided from credible sources.

I will also ask that if ever i said something incorrect i hope youll tell me and ill do my best to make amends. Please do also feel free to share your opinion, id like to hear more perspectives, and learn the faults of my own.

Well wishes.

-Kody, and a very tired system

[lapdogchase]

trying to draw lines of who's queer and who's not is unhelpful and a waste of time and i find it's an impossible task to categorize something as uncategorizable as attraction and identity. i've started thinking of it as more of a sociopolitical label as well as an identity label, and in my opinion that's a lot more useful than sitting around trying to decide if a guy who's only ever been attracted to women and ryan reynolds counts as queer or not. because i feel like if, for instance, a straight cis man who does drag and regularly engages in trans activism and sits down with his state senator to discuss making trans sanctuary laws or whatever. wants to identify as queer. i don't really care? i don't think that affects anyone negatively. i think if someone's involved in queer activism and the queer community and they want to use the word queer for themselves i think that's fine and i think it's not any of my business.

also there's this tendency, especially online, for people to go "well what if an allocishet person uses the word queer for themself even though they arent!" and that doesn't feel like a helpful thing to worry about because like.. what if? who is really getting hurt if a gender nonconforming cishet person identifies as queer? or a woman with two husbands? i saw a post along the lines of "we've got straight girls calling themselves fagdykes this is why inclusionism is bad" and i mean. first of all i genuinely just do not believe that. i don't think there are cishet women calling themselves fagdykes. i don't think people who wouldn't be considered queer by cishet society are often proudly declaring themselves part of the queer community in general. people don't paint targets on their backs for fun. i think it's much more likely that the person they were mad at was nonbinary or bi or otherwise queer. but even if they were, like. if for some reason a completely cis completely straight woman wanted to reclaim slurs for herself, she probably has a reason for that. and it's not really our business anyway.

and i think if someone actually is "only identifying as queer to infiltrate queer spaces and cause discord and hurt people," i think that's a them problem, not a "person who uses labels i don't fully get" problem. and i don't think that happens often except for possibly in discord servers, and i think that's generally called "lying" and "being an asshole."

whenever i see stuff trying to draw a line on who's queer and who's not, whether this person can say fag or not, whether it's okay for this person to use they/them pronouns or not, whatever. "are polyamorous people queer?" "can a cis guy use they/them pronouns?" i think of ace/aro exclusionism and bi exclusionism and nonbinary exclusionism. because the arguments sound the same. something about not being "oppressed enough," about "stealing resources" (what resources?), about "well these ones are okay but those ones aren't," about fakers, about people reclaiming slurs they can't use, about how they're "making us look bad," how they're "not queer enough," whatever. and i think it's petty and useless and pretty stupid when we're in the face of a rise in violent transphobia to focus on that instead of actual problems.

i had a friend in high school who talked about how she doesn't understand sexuality and gender and gender roles because she's autistic. she was a lot like me in that we'd both pick at strict definitions of things like "queer" or "trans" and find exceptions to common strict definitions until they fell apart entirely. and she identified with just her name, not trans, not nonbinary, not cis either. not bi or pan or ace or aro or anything else, and not straight. just herself. and she was fully accepting of me and other queer people in our life and was involved in queer activism and was actively deradicalizing her mom from radfem ideology. i don't know if she identified as queer then or if she does now, but if she did/does, i don't see why she shouldn't. i don't think it'd be my place to tell her not to.

i don't know. i just think if someone wants to consider themself queer it's not my business why. because they probably have a good reason. and i think trying to define something like queerness is an impossible task, and i think there's better things to do. it's not hurting anyone for someone you or i see as allocishet to identify as queer for whatever reason. sometimes you don't have to understand the intricacies of someone's identity and life story and why they use certain words for themselves.

[alpaca-clouds]

Some Solarpunk Game Ideas

Folks seem to enjoy me writing a bit about Solarpunk, so let me bring in something, that I have been thinking about a lot: Solarpunk in videogames. Because so far, all we have in that direction basically goes into some sort of city builder (Anno 2070), anti city builders (Terra Nil) or some sort of farming or crafting game.

The issue, I think, a lot of game developers, who want to do something with the genre, struggle against, is the rather peaceful and idealistic nature of Solarpunk. A lot of people do not feel it is right to make a Solarpunk game combat oriented. But most game genres are kinda reliant on some sort of combat. Now, while I disagree with this assessment (Solarpunk is as much about rebellion, as about the hopefully idealistic outcome of it), I understand the sentiment.

I personally would love to create a Solarpunk game, but on my own I just do not have the skills for that.

Still, I have thought about it a lot. So, I want to offer to you a couple of ideas for Solarpunk games in different genres, that could be developed. Yes, if you are interested in building out one of those ideas, you are welcome to just take it. Also: Yes, if you want more details on the ideas, you can totally contact me! No fear.

Visual Novel

Let me start with probably one of the genre most easily used under the umbrella of “peaceful”. A Visual Novel. Visual Novels can be all sort of storylines. A lot, obviously, are romance focused, but you can use the genre to tell all sort of stories. Hence, telling a story in a Solarpunk world, could be very easy. And technically you are almost unlimited, about the kind of story you want to tell.

My personal favorites, when it comes to the ideas, is for once a polyamorous romance VN. See, most romance focused VNs do have different story paths depending on which romance you pursue and within that storyline you are very linear. I do think for several reasons, that polyamory and Solarpunk work very well together – so, why not try and mix it up?

Another idea, though, could be a storyline about building up a community within a storyline featuring the challenges of building a new community. Both social problems, as well as technical and environmental issues. This one would actually build a lot around the characters within the community you build and about you getting to know them.

Puzzle Game

Another genre that works well without any sort of violence, is puzzle games. And there would be a lot of possibility here to explore. After all, you can find a lot of reasons the player has to do puzzles of all sort.

The idea I have for this genre, is the idea of repairs. A lot of Solarpunk is also build around the “right to repair” and also around community help and community workshops. So, as the player you take over the role of someone volunteering in such a workshop helping all sorts of different customers with their repair and DIY projects. To repair things, you have to complete all sorts of puzzles.

Point-and-Click Adventure

Another genre, that most of the time does not involve much violence, is that of the old Point-and-Click Adventure. These often, obviously, have a lot of puzzle elements, too, but obviously tends to have a lot more story advancement in there. A lot of the most notable examples of the genre, are rather focused on humor, though you can tell all sorts of stories with the genre, if you really wanted to.

My idea for this, is the story of an archeologist in anno 2500 Solarpunk future unearthing the remains of an ancient 2020s city. A kinda genre reversion of the entire Indiana Jones thing – only that instead of someone being all archeologist-adventurous about something from what we call the “ancient past”, it is people from the future exploring the present. I don’t know. I found that idea kinda cute.

RPG

Now, last genre and idea for today. RPGs typically tend to be combat focused and use combat and XP claimed from it to advance. But of course the basic of it – Role Playing – does not need to use combat as a mechanic. You could use all sorts of mechanics to do this. You do not even need any sort of level progression technically – though of course this mechanic is so closely linked to the core of the game genre, that it is hard to think without it. Still, there recently have been quite a few cozy RPGs, that do not feature combat.

Cozy RPGs often feature you helping other characters and advancing through that. So, why not make it an RPG about mutual aid within a young Solarpunk community. Things of all sorts need to be done. Someone needs you to find a certain spare part. Someone else needs you to find people willing to help with a roof repair. Yet another person wants you to help in the community kitchen. And maybe at the same time you and the people in your town are trying to repair the environmental impact on the surrounding area, leading you to go out into the wildness around.

That’s it for some ideas right now. I might post other ideas at some other point, if you guys are interested.

As I said, I would kinda love to develop some ideas, but… Not alone. So… We’ll see.

[evelhak]

*Sigh*

You know, I really try to give people the benefit of the doubt, I understand how hard it is to break through your own bubble when you've never lived as a part of any minority, I understand that when you've been able to take for granted that you're represented and accommodated in the vast majority of contexts in your daily life, automatically, it's really difficult to see how that isn't because you're inherently more "natural" than someone else.

Like, not long ago I had a perfectly constructive conversation with a friend, whose partner's mother tongue is a minority language, and she wanted both of their languages to have an equal role in their family's life. Despite all of her good intentions, she still couldn't see how she kept treating her own language as the default. I told her that her partner might feel less like he needs to defend his language if their daily life was worded differently, if his language wasn't always the one that needs to have especially designed days. And this was a completely new idea to her. She hadn't even considered that instead of wording it like "on these days we speak your language" and assuming that the rest of the days are for her language, she could word things in a way where both languages need to be named, both languages have designated days. She was just so used to being the default that she didn't even see it, and it never would have crossed her mind on her own to change her viewpoint.

This is what I initially assume about people when they say or do something thoughtless or insensitive. That they just don't know better yet, that they're just so used to not having to acknowledge wider reality than their own, that the concept doesn't fully exist in their brain. I don't think it makes them bigoted, just uneducated or inexperienced or something. So, if these things come up in conversation, I tend to have a lot of patience and energy to explain new things to people who genuinely want to learn and genuinely just don't yet understand. I even enjoy helping people expand their worldview, in fact few things are as personally fulfilling to me as lending a hand to someone as they're trying to grow as a person.

It's just that when someone says they aren't bigoted, when they say that they support [insert a minority], when they are painting the picture that they are informed about things enough to declare this, and still in random and casual contexts they keep acting like minorities are taking too much space...

*urge to pull hair growing*

Like if another writer tells me that my story would be more balanced if the purpose of it wasn't to showcase every sexuality and gender...

😩

While their own stories are ALL about straight cis perisex people.

🤔

And ESPECIALLY when the story of mine that was in question has like... One significant lesbian character. One significant asexual character. One (cis) cross dresser. One significant polyamorous character. And ONLY the lesbian character's character arc is in a mentionable way about being a lesbian. And the rest of the significant characters aren't queer which makes for at least 10 significant cishet characters and several well-developed conventional cishet romances.

I'm sorry but if even in a story where the clear MAJORITY still caters to your experience of normal, the queer rep is ALL you pay attention to, then this is DEFINITELY not my problem.

Like, where do you perceive queer characters to be natural or invisible enough?? When being queer doesn't impact their storylines?? When there's only one significant queer character among a bunch of non-queer characters?? Or when queer characters are only background characters?? When "normal" characters and queer characters exist only in separate works?? Or possibly when queer characters just continue to be invisible to you unless it's about getting a chance to show that you're a good person willing to share the space that was never solely yours in the first place.

Balanced my ass.

[aubreysheadspace]

hi! i hope you're having a nice day <3

if it doesn't trouble you and doesn't violate any of your rules, could i please have a mari x hero x reader thing? whatever format works for you! mari and hero are already dating but they're kinda developing a crush on reader. reader is a sweet and quiet type of person, maybe even a little shy. mari and hero just think they're cute and want to date them (poly!)

i hope this isn't too demanding :,)

READER IN A POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP WITH HEROMARI

first of all anon and everyone else who submitted a request, i would want to apologize for the super long delay, i feel like an airport with all these delays </3 but i’ll try my best and not disappoint you all anymore!! this is my first polyamorous request, and so if there’s anything wrong i got, please correct me and i will fix my changes IMMEDIATELY !! that being said, hope you enjoy !!

i feel like HERO and MARI aren’t really aware of a lot of sexualities, as they are just two people in love with each other! they probably don’t know the term polyamorous just yet.

that being said, when you come into the picture, they first treat you like a friend. they both understand you’re just a little shy but that’s okay, MARI has a little brother who’s just the same.

MARI might be the one who falls in love first with you as well before HERO does, i think he thinks he only has eyes for MARI (well, he does in canon but shhh)

at first, MARI feels bad for liking you while she’s dating HERO, as she doesn’t feel like she’s loyal at first. but she has a computer for times like these!! that’s when she finds out polyamorous exists, and now she feels better.

during this time, HERO also starts slowly falling for you. he tries to tell himself he doesn’t because he’s dating MARI at the time but he can’t help his feelings for you, how he also gets flustered at the sight of you. thankfully, MARI sees it and knew what it meant.

after some talking, they both decide to approach you and would like to speak to you privately. MARI starts speaking first, telling you they both would like to add you into their relationship, as she’s more educated on these things than HERO (he just figured out what polyamorous means from MARI)

in the end, you accepted and they couldn’t be any more relieved yet also happy!! they treat you more amazing than anyone ever could, bonus points if MARI teases you both a lot about how the two of you are super cute.

they couldn’t really hide anything from the young ones in the friend group, so you three decide to just tell them the truth. they were.. confused, mostly KEL and SUNNY, but decided to support you three nonetheless and even promised not to tell your guy’s parents

i doubt MARI and SUNNY’s parents would understand the whole thing, the same goes for KEL and HERO’s parents. it’s up to you though if your parents are understanding and accepting of your new relationship.

it doesn’t matter though, you three are happy and in love no matter what anyone says. MARI loves you and HERO, HERO loves you and MARI, and you love HERO and MARI, it’s a big win for all three of you! it’s something new, yeah, but it’s exciting right?

[theaquinn-misc]

A-spec Lesbian

I decided to make my own list of things that have helped me realized I'm gay. Disclaimer: I'm not the arbiter of what makes someone an aspec lesbian, however if you experience some or most of these it's something to consider. Disclaimer 2: I've also not had a lot of experience dating so I can't include much of that here. This post will be divided in 3 sections: Men, Women and NBs and media

Men:

only crushing on "unavailable" men: married, in a relationship, much older, gay, fictional, celebrities

"crushing" on men and enjoying fantasizing about them, but not trying to flirt or even get close to them in any way

"crushing on a man" for a set period of time and then and thinking he's the hottest thing since sliced bread, but later (especially after a physical separation) finding him meh or cringey

fantasies about men having more to do with being happy and fulfilled in life and being seen as someone to be jealous of, not so much about the specific person

having a crush/attraction to a man only for him to return it and you realize that you feel uncomfortable

meeting a guy who is conventionally attractive and meets all your standards and telling yourself you are attracted to him but still feeling a weird pressure in your stomach/chest because "something is missing"

liking a guy, until he changes something minor about his appearance (shaves, does his hair differently) and then finding him basic/meh and losing all attraction to him

never understanding what women see in the men they date or like in media, at least looks-wise

finding even extremely conventionally attractive men to be kinda meh and thinking women attracted to men must be exaggerating how hot they find them

being uncomfortable when you find out a man has a crush on you and wanting him to stay away, but with women/nbs it's just a bit awkward and overall no big deal

having to force sexual and romantic fantasies for men and getting bored of them after a while

finding the most aesthetically attractive man in a group and deciding you are attracted to him (bonus points: being relieved when you find out he's taken/ and/or you could never date him for some reason)

being anxious or sad or bored when you imagine your life with a man

only wanting to date men if it's polyamorous (note: this is not to invalidate poly people, but if you can only imagine dating one gender ONLY if it's poly and having no issues to be monogamous with another gender... that might be something to look into)

getting sad/anxious/bored at the idea that your first boyfriend could be your forever partner. thinking "of course i want to experience life before I settle down"

wanting to dress sexy and reveal your body, but wanting to hide it when a man pays attention to you

Men expressing their attraction to men is more relatable than women expressing their attraction for men Women/ NBs:

finding only a few men aesthetically attractive but nearly every woman/queer/nb person (esp more femme ones) being gorgeous to you

wanting to impress and/or be liked by "special" women

going on dating apps and switching to "women only" even though you are (supposedly) bi/pan (note: some people may do this for safety reasons but if you can't even IMAGINE finding a guy off an app, even if you take all possible precautions, well...)

finding the fantasy of sharing your life with a woman/nb person far more rewarding and satisfying than the fantasy of doing those same things with a man

having some inkling of attraction to trans women pre-coming out, but suddenly thinking they are the most gorgeous people ever post knowing they are women(especially if they go on HRT),

really "admiring" masc/butch women and women who break gender roles (women in suits, women with defined muscles etc.)

thinking that everyone thinks women are more aesthetically attractive than men (hint: ask a gay man about this)

having deep feelings about a female actor, singer, teacher growing up etc. that feel special and unique

feeling guilty in locker rooms, not wanting to look at women too long

getting really excited at the idea of having a gf, or being a girl/nb person's gf/ partner but not feeling the same way about dating boys/men

wishing to be a lesbian because you think lesbians are cool and/or to avoid dating men

feeling uncomfortable feelings about the label lesbian, especially when applied to you (but not gay/queer/sapphic/wlw/nblw etc.)

not getting crushes on women IRL often because you're still aspec

getting crushes on fictional women, influencers, celebrities etc. Media:

never relating to m/f pairings even if they have bi/pan characters or the m/f relationships you see in media or around you.

shipping m/f, but thinking "that's cool for them, but I don't want that" (note: this might also have to with gender, if you're nb)

imagining yourself as the "man" in m/f ships never the woman

not relating to f/f ships with two thin conventionally feminine and usually white women (esp if you are fat, gnc, WoC, and/or are attracted to butch/masc women)

seeing posts about the attractiveness of men but relating them to m/m ships, not yourself

wanting every bi/pan character to be in a "gay" or at least, in a visibly queer relationship

only relating to m/f ships if they are more obviously queer. Like say, masc woman with a twink boyfriend (side note, I've never seen that, so if you have recs please send them my way)

only being able to get off on gay/lesbian porn, finding straight porn to be unsatisfying or boring or uncomfortable (note: porn is not a great way to determine sexualaity as most actresses are fetishized and fake prgasms, and most lesbian porn is not made for sapphics. but still) Things you are allowed to do as a lesbian/don't make you less gay:

Have m/f ships you feel strongly about

read/write m/f smut

relate to/write bi/pan characters

joke about liking celebrity men & fictional men

not be attracted to the women the lesbian community has decided are the hottest thing since sliced bread (Kristen Stewart is not everyone's type)

not be comfortable with certain sex acts or sex as a whole

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hiii just found your blog and all your mothman reblogs are so REALLL i love him sm 😭😭😭 anyw I'd like to request a match up if you don't mind (it says in your pinned post that your ask box will be closed in the coming days so idk if that means it's closed now or not and if so dw abt it!) It's my first time asking for a match up so bare w me 😭

I'm a cis female with short shoulder length black hair that's either usually dyed or cut in some odd way (think layers/wolfcut/sometimes bangs sometimes not basically I like experimenting with hair) whose VERY short. (Think under 160cm). Physical traits wise I'm very skinny (not in a model way and more of a no matter how much I eat I burn it off TOO quickly it can get dangerous for my health) which means I'm also not physically very female iykwim. (As in I'm not blessed in the chest or ass category in life 😭)

I also have several scars on my thighs and hands due to a dog attack BUT I'm still so in love with animals and particularly have a VERY soft spot for the animals thought to be basic/unimportant. (Rodents and a lot of birds). I'm also very artistic and dabble in almost every form of art including performative, visual, written, and digital!

My biggest flaw would probably be my stubborness which gets in the way of a lot of things at times. I'm also slightly insecure about my looks and my height especially and that may cause jealousy/slight mistrusts unless dealth w a lot of communicatio. I can put people above me at times even when it isn't right because I'm loyal to them to a fault. But I'm very petty as well esp aft my trust is broken repeatedly.

Despite that I still think I'm pretty outgoing/adventurous when it comes to meeting new people altho I do get a lot of anxiety over it hahahahsdhhdjs.

The love language I love to give is physical touch, words of affirmations, and gifts. Whilst the ones I love to receive are words of affirmations and quality time. My mbti is Intp and I'm a Taurus! Also, I wouldn't mind any matchups from any media you write for except Castlevania cause I haven't gotten around to watching it just yet! (Altho I do have a preference for bg3 cause that's the media I know most well!)

I'm not sure if I said too much/too little but yeah! Again if your asks are closed dw abt it. I hope you have an amazing day/night. ✨️✨️✨️🤩🤩🤩

A/N: I hail Mothman, you hail Mothman, We ALL hail the Mothman!!! I just think he’s neat. Anyway, getting back on task because you didn't specify a gender preference, I picked one of each for you. For you, my Skinny Taurus Anon, I’m thinking your best Baldur’s Gate 3 matchups would be… Halsin (Male) and Karlach (Female)! 

Halsin would be a great match for you! He’s very kind and soft-spoken and shares your love of animals and nature. He’s especially touched that you’ve managed to maintain such love for animals after being attacked in your childhood. He finds your reverence for less cherished animals very honorable indeed. 

Halsin admires the ways that you express yourself by experimenting with your hair. In his case, he’s had the same look for a few hundred years or so, but that’s not to say he wouldn’t enjoy maybe changing up the way he styles his hair if you were willing to help him do it. Halsin loves all bodies and all body types, so there’s no need to feel insecure about being thin, or not having curves. Halsin does get concerned, however, when he feels you don’t eat enough nutritious food throughout the day. Silvanus knows he has a sweet tooth, but man nor elf cannot exist on honey and fruit alone. He wants to ensure you're getting a good amount of protein and greens in your diet, and he’s very capable of hunting dinner for you if you’d like. 

Halsin enjoys making art himself, preferring to whittle, seated next to you as you write or create your amazing digital creations. (A technology he does not understand but is very supportive of all the same.)

Being an open-hearted polyamorous druid, you’d have to have strong communication skills for a serious long-term relationship with Halsin. The two of you will need to work out a language or routine of your own to check in with one another and make sure that no serious insecurities or jealousies take hold. Speaking respectfully from the heart will be paramount here. 

Halsin’s first love language is most definitely physical touch, with acts of service coming second. He loves the feel of you- from something as simple as your hand in his to the more sensual, romantic skin-to-skin moments you share- he always wants to have a part of you against him. He loves how you show your affection through touch, and he is always eager to receive it. He’s a very generous lover, so if you ask that he give you frequent words of affirmation, he will eagerly rise to the challenge. Although, if we’re being honest, Halsin’s already quite the verbal lover, never wasting an opportunity to call you ‘my heart’. 

As an INTP, your more logical side balances out his more emotional ENFJ one. 

The two of you bring wholeness and balance to each other’s lives. 

Karlach would also be a great fit for you! She’s fun-loving, energetic, and full of zest for life, and all of that extends to her relationship with you!

She thinks the height difference between you two is absolutely adorable, and she WILL give you all the forehead kisses because of it. Karlach also loves how you experiment with your hair color. She herself has red streaks in her hair. (Not sure if that’s natural for her or if she’s dyed it, but either way, fun hair colors are something she likes.) 

She doesn’t mind that you’re skinny either, it just gives her all the more incentive to protect you. She does worry sometimes, that your thinness makes you more prone to injury or illness, but she does her best to keep those concerns to herself. She wouldn’t want to trouble you with them, besides, so long as she’s there, no one can touch you- not with your big tiefling barbarian girlfriend there to protect you. And don’t worry about the no boobs or butt thing. Karlach’s own chest is more scar tissue than anything at this point, so she doesn’t look at bodies that way. She thinks your form is fucking gorgeous because your soul is fuckoing gorgeous to her. 

And it’s a good thing you like animals, because Karlach loves them as well. She thinks the owlbear cub is just the cutest little guy she’s ever seen, and she’s glad despite your past experience, you’re not afraid of him or any animal other people might be too afraid or freaked out by to love. Also I know this is totally random, but I could totally see Karlach being a great bird mom to a macaw or a parrot. And yes, she would teach them swear words. 

Kalarch is loyal to a fault. In the past her loyalty cost her a great deal, but she still believes in having trust in the ones you love. It may take her a little bit longer to get there, but once she trusts you, she’s very much ride or die, and she expects you to be the same. 

Karlach is obsessed with anything and everything you create. She loves it all so much. She’s constantly going round showing your art to everyone in camp, bragging about how cool and creative her partner is. She’s not super artistic, and she can’t sing to save her life, but god, she loves people who are good at the arts so much. She’s amazed at their talent and you are no exception. 

As an INTP, you’ll want to be a little more sensitive around Karlach’s ESFP, especially when it comes to her expressing her emotions. She’s a strong girl, that’s for sure, she’s survived ten years in the hells! But life has not been kind to her. The people she once trusted, betrayed her, and she needs to feel secure in her romantic relationship as a result- she can’t get the sense that you’re being insincere or just biding your time as she shares how she feels. 

I hope you enjoyed it!

Please Like, but most importantly REBLOG!

Reblogs share my work with other blogs, creating a wider audience. 

A/N 2.0: Apologies for the delay. Posting will probably happen 1x/week with how things are going.

[vacantgodling]

26, 27, 47, 58 for any of ur polycules!

thank you 💛 i think i’ll do this about the celestial lovers since i don’t talk about them that much lol

26. Of the members who live together, what are the household dynamics like? How do they split chores, manage finances, etc.?

so all of them live together in the celestial palace after dag becomes the celestial ruler. because they’re basically uhhhh “deities” (kinda) they don’t really do chores and manage finances and things like that, they have maaaany live in servants that kind of handle all of those things.

however, the stuff they do kind of handle household wise (ig) is how to rule the spheres—so i guess basically i could break that down (we love worldbuilding on the fly pff).

so when it comes to managing resources (food, the economy, etc): almine and izul oversee that. mainly because the two of them are the most pragmatic and good with numbers and distribution.

humanitarian issues and crises (such as natural disasters) tend to be dealt with by zhujen and muu. they’re extremely empathetic people—zhujen gives off a motherly aura and it does tend to help calm people and help them listen to her, meanwhile muu grew up in the region most likely to have natural disasters—denjai—which is a giant swamp that’s constantly hit with monsoons and the like so he just knows the area very well.

conflict resolution (aka issues between spheres) is usually dealt by vigustav and aenlin. viggo coming from the region most likely to have conflict (vukter) helps because he understands the culture best and he can be firm and intimidating when he needs to and aenlin is a very good judge and executioner. the two of them handle dealing with the ugly stuff the best.

finally, public events and appearances are usually dealt with by rhohanen and lilliabet. many holidays and ceremonies are lilliabet’s forte, meanwhile rhohanen is there for affairs of state like coronations, funerals, the stuffier stuff because he’s good at it.

and where does dag fit in in all of this? aside from all the spiritual and metaphysical duties of the celestial ruler, he tends to deal with all of it when he absolutely has to. in part of choosing the lovers was to also find people that would help him be able to manage all of this. so, i hope that kind of answers your question lol 😅

27. Of the members who live together, do they all sleep in one bed too? All separate bedrooms? Something in-between?

as mentioned, they all live together in the celestial palace and because it’s a palace they all have separate rooms decorated according to their styles and tastes. they do however tend to congregate together a lot or sleep in either each other’s rooms or some of the, for lack of better words, nesting rooms together esp after certain activities 👀

the other exception to sleeping separately is every night, they all rotate between sleeping in dag’s room which is the main celestial chamber. the thing about their poly is technically, the easiest way to think about it is a ruler (dag) and their harem (everyone else) so they’re all married to him first, however he loves that they’ve all grown to love one another as well. ngl he has the most cohesive lover’s circle of any ruler lmao 💀

47. Did any monogamous partners discover they were polyamorous after the relationship opened up? How did they find out?

interesting question because i guess all of them? the relationship was always quasi-open from jump just bc of the nature of the celestial ruler and their lovers (which tldr the celestial ruler cannot ascend until they go to every sphere (or kingdom) and choose one member of the royal family to be wed to. this doesn’t automatically guarantee they’ll ascend as there are other hopefuls who have been trained for this too But that’s a long explanation i can get into later PFF) BUT none of the lovers meet each other fully until or unless the hopeful they wed becomes the celestial ruler. since dag does become that, they all finally meet each other face to face and for a good while, it was very much friendly and getting to know each other/feeling out the dynamics. dag (and technically aenlin) obviously knew all of them beforehand so once things settled they kind of had a big meeting where he was like “hey yeah like as long as well all get along and care for one another, please feel free to define your relationships for yourselves.”

the first one to Know that he was poly is technically aenlin though he knew the whole time as he was trained as a hopeful too alongside dag (long story). and he did develop a friendliness with many of them. he’s the first one to branch into something more territory with izul first, surprisingly. but that’s bc izul is hard to warm up to others and they sort of clung to aenlin as a familiar face when dag wasn’t around and yknow as they say. one thing lead to another. and then as they slowly got to know each other and spent more time together (all of them) things went from friendly to… lovey dovey and steamy lmao. i’d say 5 years into dag’s rule they’ve all become very entertwined.

58. How does the polycule celebrate anniversaries?

it’s a WHOLEEEE thing. mainly because they kind of end up becoming whole holidays in their world. each sphere does have their own holidays and important events but ig “interspherical” holidays are dictated by whoever the ruler is just bc rulers can live for a few thousand years if nothing happens to them tm (sans the ruler before dag rip). so the anniversary of their marriage, each lover’s birthday, important dates to them… all kinda get tossed on the big ol calendar and celebrated with a big party of some kind. then they usually after the main festivities have smaller celebrations with just the 9 of them and there’s a lot of pampering and ngl probably a lotta orgies LMAO

[baticeer-sims]

I'd like to hear your soap box about romantic standards! I use ACR at the moment but reading that "unpopular opinions" post got me curious about other options 👀

Hiya! Thanks for asking. I absolutely love Romantic Standards, I could NOT play without it these days. I used to use ACR in the past though, so I tried to make a balanced list of the pros and cons for me. But then it got REALLY LOOOONG because I'm a wordy person sorry, so it's under a cut.

The quick TLDR of it is - I feel like ACR creates romantic chaos that's often unpleasant/nonsensical to me, while I feel like RS creates romantic drama that makes sense and also allows for a lot of variety in how different sims will feel about their relationships.

By the way, I use Midgethetree's edited version of RS because it's modular (you can pick which parts you want) and the documentation is way easier to understand lol. If you have any trouble with mod conflicts or with getting RS set up the way you like, feel free to ask me about it and I can help you out with what exact files you need.

The full soapbox under the cut!!

One thing I want to say is I think a lot of people have been playing with ACR for so long that they don't know what their game will be like without it? And they underestimate how much autonomous romantic interaction will still happen between sims. A key here is that sims can't autonomously interact romantically unless they have compatible gender preferences, and townies or CAS sims always start with 0 preference, so a vanilla hood without ACR will feel low on the random flirtations unless you use something like the Sim Blender (or similar) to randomize everyone's gender preferences! (And ACR gives out random gender preferences automatically, so you might install ACR, see a lot of people interacting romantically for the first time, and assume you can't get that without ACR when all you needed was the gender preference setting, yknow?) But I can assure you that with ACR removed, my sims are definitely still getting into plenty of unexpected romantic entanglements and exciting drama.

To my mind, these are the biggest features of Romantic Standards that I just can't get with ACR:

Random chance of crush/love status: I could never play without this now. As you probably already know, normally two sims automatically get a crush or love when they interact romantically with 70+ shortterm or longterm relationship respectively. It's kinda predictable and boring to me. RS, specifically the "slower feelings" file, makes it so that crush/love flags are added randomly with the chance being based on the sims' chemistry with each other. This also allows for some amazing Drama Potential where you could have 2 sims interacting and one is completely in love with the other but the other has no feelings for them at all! It's otherwise impossible to do that. This makes crush/love flags actually feel meaningful to me, like they represent real human feelings, instead of just being able to know that if I decide one day to smooch my best friend they're guaranteed to fall in love with me.

Simple jealousy system that makes sense: I could never get my head around ACR's jealousy system to make it work the way I wanted. I felt like sims would have their token values changed even when I set them to be static, and stuff like that, and it just was so complicated to figure out what values I wanted... OTOH, this is how jealousy works in Romantic Standards: If a sim is in love or in a committed relationship (steady/engaged/married), and they see their love/partner interact with someone else romantically, they get mad about it! Unless you put a "no jealousy" trait in their inventory (then they won't get jealous over anyone) OR if they also have crush/love flags for that 3rd sim (this, allows for you to have polyamorous relationships). I find that easy to understand and to work well for a majority of situations. There's also an option where they won't get jealous over love, only committed relationships -- but I prefer the also-in-love version because it combines really well with the previous point about crush/love being randomized! You can frequently get situations where A is in love with B but B only has a crush, so B will be willingly flirting with other people and A might get their heart broken over it because they thought this was serious... It really generates a lot of interesting storylines.

Sims don't cheat on their partners if I don't want them to: I know ACR is supposed to have settings that will make sims stay faithful, but I was unable to get it to work consistently, and I feel like I've often heard other people say things too like "I didn't want this sim to cheat but 🤷 ACR just did that". With RS, if a sim is in a committed relationship they can never do autonomous romantic interactions with someone else unless 1) they're Romance aspiration or 2) they already have crush/love for that other sim. You can of course still direct sims to cheat if you think it makes sense, but I don't have to worry about anyone's marriage falling apart if I want them to stay together. (Also, you can override this for specific sims by giving romance sims a "hopeless romantic" trait, or non-romance sims a "commitment issues" trait.)

Midge's version of RS is modular so almost all of the stuff I listed above is separate if you only want part of it.

On the other hand! Here are the things that ACR does that I've missed or that you might miss:

Autonomous woohoo and try for baby: Your sims won't woohoo on their own anymore. I found that I didn't really mind this? The woohoo timer in ACR feels kind of mechanical to me, and a lot of times they'd be starting to do it in situations that were really inappropriate (like other people are in the room and they're stripping naked on the sofa at 9am). And I don't mind the lack of try for baby either because I prefer to decide when my sims have a baby based on if they roll a want for it, or if it just happens from risky woohoo. I've noticed that simler90's original version of RS has an optional plugin that allows for autonomous woohoo but I don't know if it works with Midge's edited RS. I haven't tried it yet bc I don't mind not having auto woohoo. If anyone has, let me know.

Can't woohoo on the sofa and can't woohoo in one menu-click: My god it's so much easier to be able to click "casual...woohoo" than relax on bed, ask other sim to join, wait for them to get there, cuddle, then woohoo. Something to note is that there is a "stripped down" version of ACR which only retains the Casual Woohoo interactions and was made to be compatible with Romantic Standards. However in my experience (and that of a few other people I've talked to) the jealousy aspect of this so-called compatibility... still doesn't quite work correctly? So the "casual woohoo" option, if you have stripped-ACR, I think it will still go off of ACR-jealousy (which is impossible for me to understand lol), instead of RS-jealousy like everything else in the game? It can definitely cause situations with jealousy reactions that aren't working how they're supposed to. So um... the crazy thing that I do, personally, is keep that stripped down ACR in my game but with all the autonomy completely disabled in global overrides, at which point it is doing literally nothing other than letting me tell them to casual woohoo if I want them to woohoo on the sofa. And I just make sure to never use that option in a situation where jealousy is a possible concern, in order to avoid the issue where it doesn't work correctly. It's kind of overly complicated a thing to do just to get sofa woohoo but I'm just saying it's an option 😂

No autonomous First Kiss: This is it! The one thing I truly do miss from ACR and would really love if someone made a mod for it one day! I love when my sims do stuff autonomously and surprise me. But First Kiss is a non-autonomous action, and what's more, sims can't roll the want to "Kiss so-and-so" if they haven't already had a first kiss, so I find it kind of hard to decide when my sims will have their first kiss. I'm always like, why can't you do it for me!

The other major difference is that the "Casual" romantic interactions from ACR have lower thresholds for acceptance than the default Maxis interactions. I personally don't see this as a positive because... well... I've been playing this game for so long, I kind of know how to get sims together at this point, I really don't need to make it even easier 😅 I'd rather have RS making it a little harder for sims to fall in love. I use a lot of other mods for other aspects of the game that make it harder overall because it's more fun for me.

Also! So, I was going to give you a list of other romance-related mods that I use in my game along with RS, but then I realized I could be lazy and just give you a link to my friend @alice-in-strangetown's mods list, because she & I have pretty similar taste in how we like romance to work in this game and I use basically all the same romance mods as her :P because I started using RS after finding out about it from watching her TS2 livestreams.

If you want to try RS on a neighborhood that has ACR but you're not sure if you'd like the playstyle, I recommend temporarily replacing it with the "stripped down" ACR version (and disabling autonomy), because that way your sims will keep their ACR tokens if you decide you don't like RS and want to switch back to using ACR. Of course, it's technically possible to have both of them at the same time, but the key thing about ACR is that all of the "Casual" interactions in it are completely separate from the vanilla maxis interactions so mods that affect default maxis interactions or maxis jealousy (like RS does) won't interface with ACR interactions and vice versa.

I hope all of this was helpful, and that maybe it convinced you to give Romantic Standards a try! Like I said, if you need any help getting it set up I can give you advice or a more detailed guide on how to install it (I think the documentation's pretty straightforward tho).

[northlight14]

Necrotic Music Infodump

I’m having brainrot about my dnd OC’s, Warryn and Hecate

They’re so perfect for each other and I need to scream about it into the abyss

For context, Hecate and Warryn both exist in completely different campaigns. All of this is purely hypothetical or would be in an au where they could meet

Hecate (she/her) is a tiefling wizard and is pansexual/polyamorous. Warryn (they/them) is a halfling bard and is a lesbian

Sun and moon vibes are strong with this one. Warryn is super impulsive, fun and kinda an adrenaline junky. They’re not dumb but they’re very much an act first, think later kinda person. Meanwhile Hecate is very logic based and likes to think things through and is a lot more subdued and mellow. They just have a good balance

Warryn would be Hecate’s biggest cheerleader ever. Warryn is such a big hype man and that especially goes for the girl they’re dating. And Hecate is a girl with not a lot of self confidence at all, struggles with feeling good about herself, and responds really well to positive reinforcement. Ultimately, Hecate needs a cheerleader like that for a partner

On the flip side, Hecate would be so good to Warryn. Hecate is blunt and very socially awkward but she knows how to be romantic and Warryn would just loose their mind over that. Plus for context, Hecate is the only logic based character in her campaign. The rest of the party is charisma. So girly definitely knows how to handle people like Warryn lol

Mutual healing- Warryn and Hecate have both been to hell and back, figuratively speaking. Warryn might hide it better but both of them struggle with depression. Both have lost people important to them. Both compare themselves to others and struggle with feeling lesser than. The point is, they’re a perfect candidate for the trope of “learning to love myself by loving you” and that’s one of my favourite tropes of all time. I don’t mean it in like a toxic dependency kinda thing, more just that they understand each other and would know how to help, even if they cope in different ways

Autism x ADHD. I don’t think I need to elaborate on that, the dynamic is perfect

They’re absolutely each other’s type. Hecate likes people who are powerful and heroic but with a dorky side. And Warryn honestly just really loves women in general, but particularly women who are a little scary and intimidating. And considering Hecate is a goth girly that studies corpses to learn about things like decomposition and how different species work along with currently learning necromancy and has two skeletons working for her, I’d say she fits the bill

Even tho Warryn is monogamous, they’d be so down chill about Hecate being polyamorous and seeing other people at the same time. Sure there might be some adjustments in the beginning but once they work through that, I fully see Warryn becoming Hecate’s wigman and going up to people like “hey, my girlfriend thinks you’re cute” and when questioned is just like “wait, y’all don’t wingman for your girlfriend?🤨 bruh what do you mean you only do that for your friends? Friend is literally 60% of the word girlfriend🙄”

Hecate really likes music and I feel like she’d love listening to Warryn play and would go to all their performances. Warryn would also defo write a song for Hecate

It would be a second chance at family for Hecate. Hecate’s parents died when she was young and from that point was just living in the military barracks. While she was close to people like her mentor and had friends, there was only so close she was really allowed to get in that environment. Meanwhile Warryn comes from a very big close knit family who would all really make of Hecate and be very welcoming to her into their lives

All in all, I ship it because Warryn would be a simp and Hecate deserves good things. Plus sun and moon and both depressed but healing each other tropes

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Thank you so much for taking the time for your long reply on Schneider. You are absolutely right, and it really helps. Till is my favorite, can’t help it, but there are some things he has done that I didn’t like at all, either, and with some distance it either wasn’t as bad m or I just got used to it and ignored it. I guess I do the same with my friends, the older I get. I don’t take the stuff I don’t like so seriously anymore. I should so the same with the people I admire from afar but don’t really know.

So thank you so much for your input! And yes, I would definitely be interested in your take regarding the Schneider statement! ♥️

Hi, i think you're right, it helps that with age you know that not everything is just good or bad with nothing in between, nowadays on social media, if a person does or says one thing that others don't like, that seems to get targetted and everything else forgotten *or* completely ignored because it doesn't fit the favored narrative 🌺

While i'm happy to share my thoughts on Schneider's post, let me first share some of my pet peeves about others (or in general), because like i said in the previous post, all of them have done or said things that weren't my thing at the time or that temporarily or permanently changed the way i viewed them, just to avoid that i get a new anon response calling me a hater again 🌺

For Richard (yes, let's start there 😊) i really don't like how he is in his personal relationships, how all his girlfriends are almost carbon copies of eachother and how easily he switches from one to the other (polyamorous? Maybe, but 'sexual butterfly' i think is more fitting). As that is his personal life i usually don't comment on it, but i cringe when fans call him 'their perfect husband' 😊 Also (yes, there's more) that he almost broke up the band with his Mutter-era-mania and his feeling of being the one who was right and should have his way. What redeemed him for me is that in hindsight he completely owned up to everything that happened and took full responsibility (even recently in interviews). What i love about Richard, i've said it before, is not that i think he's perfect, but that he has his flaws and deals with them, always trying to improve himself (and imo he has improved a lot, as shown on stage the past years).

Another example is an actor i used to follow, watched all his movies, but who, as it turns out, is a big gun-enthusiast. And i happen to not like guns (rifles, shooters, whatever). I understand that in some parts of the world they are necessary to protect yourself from bears or lions or whatever, and i do enjoy watching weaponry as a sport in the olympics, how skilled the shooters are, but as a hobby? or thinking it's normal that kids can hold a gun? Nope, not my thing. That is a really big turn off for me, and i still have loads of dvd's with films of the actor, but never watch them anymore.

Okay, to Schneider's post (and again, please unfollow and/or block if you don't like my view)

- Was i surprised he posted it when he did? Yes.

- If i were Rammstein management, would i have advised him to post it? Probably not, but it seemed to hit Schneider pretty hard, we know now that Richard had to write in a statement on events that happened in 2019, i wouldn't be surprised if the others had to as well, so i can imagine that was a gutpunch, so maybe i would have gone with "sleep about it another night, read it again in the morning, and if you're sure..."

- Can i see how people feel it throws Till under the bus? Yes, i do (interestingly, Schneider was in the Mutter era also the most vocal in putting all the blame on Richard, where Paul f.i. also acknowledged that he himself was part of the problem. Eventually Richard acknowledged he was to blame (see above))

but....

his statement confirmed a lot for me that i sensed was happening for the last few years, since let's say 2019. Till creating his own bubble, having his own entourage (who imho indulge Till's tendency to selfdestruct), travelling with them, things happening that didn't seem to be 'the Rammstein way' but more extreme, the separate afterparties, the invites to Row0, there were so many pictures and side stories the last few tours (2019/2022) that to me it was there in plain sight, but in the fandom that was always shot down as 'not true', 'you don't know what you're talking about', 'you are a hater' or examples given of years earlier as 'proof' that Till would never do things like that. Well, not years earlier okay, but lately? Things have changed, Schneider's post confirmed it.

Also, the post is still up. And it is liked by many people close to the band, Schneider's wife (okay, maybe that's a given), Flake's wife, who also reposted it on her own page thanking Schneider for the post, but also Jens Koch, Olaf Heine, Jörn Heitmann, Tobias Ortman, David Geslbauer (and Sven Heibig on Flake's wife's post): People who have worked with the band in recent years, some currently on tour. Liking on social media ofcourse doesn't say a lot, some people like something without even reading it, but with the content so impactful, and the post still up, they could easily remove their like, but they didn't. For me it confirmed that this wasn't just a spur of the moment thing from Schneider, this was well thought out and heartfelt.

Do i personally feel Schneider throws Till under a bus? No, what for me makes the difference is that he writes at the end of the statement "All of us, all six. We stick together." Schneider is willing to work through it and improve things. And in those last lines, i read that the rest of the band are too, including, i sincerely hope, Till himself. From what we see on tour since the post, i have a feeling that the working through has started...in the six men marriage 🌺

just my 2 cts 🌺