#this was written just before midnight
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A response, i guess
Alright so I saw this pretty shit post recently, and I cant help but say I'm a little pissed. I will not be sharing the name of the blog that posted this, as i do not wish for them to be harassed.
So here's my response.
An open letter to you who wrote this.
"Hating endos is lame, hate on us instead ! We’re a DID system that believes people shouldn’t have to have their own entry in the DSM5 to be respected , apparently a controversial opinion these days !"
So though i agree in part that hate is lame as all hell, i do believe that listening to science is more punk than throwing it out the window. Yes system diversity is important as a working point in the community, it is still important to listen to the science.
Though some may not fit the diagnostics 100% doesn't mean they aren't valid that is true, but even so, there have been no scientifically supported exception to one. trauma is a necessary part, and the mind cannot and will not fracture like this without it, that should be without dispute.
"Being unapologetically plural is punk, ESPECIALLY if you don’t fit the “scientific” idea of what a real system should be."
You are right that science is not all inclusive, but i will say being anti science seems pretty conservative for a self proclaimed punk. but asides from cheap digs like that, id really recommend reading a couple scholarly articles if you are ever in doubt of the science, there is a lot to learn, and a lot left to be learnt.
"Systems should support other systems regardless of where we come from. The world doesn’t understand us and they don’t want to have to understand us, if we want to have a future where we are proudly and loudly ourselves we have to work together to make it."
Yes systems should absolutely support each other, and i do feel we fight too much sometimes. And no. the world does not understand us, but that does not mean it is ok to spread misinformation. Im sure you do this with good intention, and i too do my part with good intention. but we are fundamentally opposed, and i do not wish to support endos in a journey for recognition.
Some may genuinely have it, i do believe that, and others may be suffering from something else, so similar it may be difficult to know the difference, but i do not believe that they can be systems without trauma.
"I have to fight to be accepted as gay, i have to fight to be accepted as polyamorous, I have to fight to be accepted as trans, I have to fight to be accepted as non human, I have to fight to be accepted as autistic, I have to fight to be accepted as plural."
A lot of us have fought those same battles, i at least have, and a lot of systems still fight for this, and i do not believe that it should be a thing everyone goes through. And we still fight to accept ourselves in this, But i do not support endos fight for recognition. But i will fight with all i have to get them the help they need, because a lot of them do desperately need help. and i think that the fight to give them a support system and help is much more punk than this fight to support misinformation.
"I do not want anyone to have to fight me to be accepted as who they are, I want to fight alongside them because we’re fighting the exact same battle and it’s hard enough without us stabbing each other in the backs."
There is absolutely too much backstabbing in these communities. And i am willing to fight here alone to get them help, im not saying here that they aren't systems, some may very well be and have forgotten the trauma, but i do not wish to stand beside them in a fight against science. Im sure we'll all know more in the future with more studies made, and maybe itll turn the view on systems upside down, but until then i stand with the science, and with those that want and need help.
I do though want to mention lastly that as per the dsm-5 trauma is not noted as a criteria for diagnosis, and thus i am open to read articles of exception to this rule if they can be provided from credible sources.
I will also ask that if ever i said something incorrect i hope youll tell me and ill do my best to make amends. Please do also feel free to share your opinion, id like to hear more perspectives, and learn the faults of my own.
Well wishes.
-Kody, and a very tired system
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silly episode idea but hear me out
okay well the first part isn’t silly! so the episode is based around a con they are doing where a polyam triad wants to get married and have been writing to senators and stuff for years but nothing has happened. maybe there is a time element that leeway has to happen soon (not sure what that would be yet, maybe someone is sick???)
(obviously polycules aren’t only and are often more than just a closed three-person system, but I’m saying triad right now bc I feel like that would be an easier and more ‘socially acceptable’ gateway into more accepting legislation for diverse relationship dynamics)
the leverage crew, of course, can’t outright change the public perception of poly marriage, but they can use the ‘enemy’s’ tactics against them and slip stuff into legislation without people noticing like they do. it’s slimy and it’s not a permanent fix, but it’s a start, and it gives people the opportunity to see poly marriage in action and that it isn’t as terrifying or pearl-clutching-inducing as they think it would be. there’s a long way to go, but the seeds of change have been sown and they will make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible
this is one of the cases that they will monitor on the back burner over time. some cons can finish within a few hours (the bottle job), and some things they will follow over time and make adjustments when needed- amplify voices and expose corrupt politicians etc
and then it’s just after 3/4 of the way through but the con has been finished? what is going on? this is where the silliness comes in
the camera turns to the ot3 and…
hardison, pulling out three individualized rings: I know it’s not legal yet, and we have the necklaces, but I think rings would be a nice touch
eliot, pulling out an intricately carved box that also has three self-handcrafted rings: dammit hardison (with feeling and tenderness, and damp eyes)
parker, pulling out three very stolen rings from her pocket: does this mean we’re getting triple married if we all have three rings???
harry pops into the conversation (practically vibrating) excitedly just casually mentioning that he’s a notary and would be honored to marry them to each other if they wanted to
(they do)
wait, did I say silly? I meant unwaveringly tender and heartwarming
#this started out as a funny proposal headcanon but it just turned into sweet and cute#I had a version where eliot proposed first and then hardison went to get his but parker pickpocketed him#but this is more sweet#I know she loves pickpocketing but I feel like she wouldn’t take that moment away from him if she thinks it matters that much that way#but also. have you considered it would be hilarious#and omg they have such a good wedding!!! so many people invited!!! sophie has a ball organizing it#(hardison and eliot get veto power of course. parker does too but she only really cares about the cake. as long as she has her boys and her#family she’ll be happy with whatever the wedding looks like. eliot though has Thoughts on catering & hardison stresses about color schemes)#breanna and harry kick their feet and giggle like schoolgirls they are SO HAPPY the ot3 gets their moment#they have been (quietly) (unsuccessfully) shipping them for forever this is VINDICATION#I should link the post about who is invited to the ot3 wedding (list ever expanding)#I’m literally posting this at midnight but I didn’t want to schedule or queue it. I want it out now. instant gratification babey#eliot spencer#parker#alec hardison#leverage ot3#parker x hardison x eliot#leverage#leverage redemption#episode ideas#fic ideas#I know I’ve written a proposal post/ficlet before but I was too lazy to find it#polyamory#ot3 marriage#marriage#weddings#harry wilson#thiefsome#hitter hacker thief#mine
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I can't believe it's Sunday again already! We've got a new chapter of The Red Room for you all to enjoy. Please give @connor-sent-by-cyberlife some love for the wonderful render in this chapter (as well as all the hard work they've put in on all the renders thus far!!)
The Red Room (45158 words) by rking200 Chapters: 7/? Fandom: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hank Anderson/Connor Characters: Hank Anderson, Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Original Chloe | RT600, Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Elijah Kamski Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Human, Stalking, Vomiting, Suicidal Thoughts, Top Hank Anderson, Bottom Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Connor is a Mess (Detroit: Become Human), Hank Anderson is Bad at Feelings, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Missing Persons, Abduction, Manipulation, Death Threats, Mental Health Issues, Zlatko didn't do it, POV Alternating, Slow Burn, Sex at some point Summary: Connor Stern is a law school dropout who dreams of making it big in the music industry. He manages to get into a special apprenticeship program with the musical genius Elijah Kamski and, despite working two jobs and struggling to stay afloat, feels like his dream is finally within his grasp. When Hank Anderson stumbles into the lounge Connor performs at, The Red Room, he becomes entranced with him. As Hank falls in love with Connor's voice, he ends up entangled with conflicting emotions and delicate situations. Slowly, his nights are filled with Connor's songs and his closeness, even if he feels he doesn't deserve it. They reach several roadblocks along the way of getting closer, some more dangerous than others. A collaboration written alongside Connor-sent-by-Cyberlife for the Reverse Big Bang 2024, told with a POV alternating between Hank and Connor. Chapters added weekly.
#hankcon#dbhrbb2024#dbh fic#chapter update#i always write these posts ahead of time but for the last three chapters I've forgotten to write the tags#so instead of posting at midnight i've been frantically typing my thoughts out last minute like this#lol#lmao even#ANYWAY#thank you for your kind words and support thus far#we've still got quite a ways to go#i've written about 30k more words for you all to enjoy#and I'm still going#I have a vision for how many chapters it will be in the end#but I'm hesitant to fill it out just in case I want to add or remove one before we get to the end#but there is an end in sight I swear!! <3333#sorry for the lull in replies to comments on the fic#i have a lot going on rn but i do want to see your reactions! and hear your predictions!!!
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day 18 my galasynth 2023 sonika
#digital art#mine#my art#fanart#vocaloid#vocal synth#doodle#sonika#just a very simple and basic drawing#i was drawing this very near to midnight and hoping to get it done before the hour turned over but i did not make it as evident by the date#written on the piece#unrelated but miku expo is so so close i am so excited gyahhhh#i cannot wait mreow#i need to get to drawing todays piece still buwaehehh
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Stupid doodles I did because I couldn't get them out of my head
#this is what happens when I ask a discord server for drawing ideas an nobody replies#i am left alone with the horrors#mha#bnha#hizashi yamada#present mic#shouta aizawa#eraserhead#feeling a little silly. a little goofy if you will#my problem with aizawa in the latest chapters isnt as much the fact hes mean to mic#but the fact that it's never addressed as a bad thing?#like he's a pretty terrible friend but he's still lauded as this perfect teacher can do no wrong#he's framed as secretly soft and caring#and initially he was#but i feel like his character has been changed over the series and it's not charming anymore#especially in the kurogiri arc where the Only person Shirokumo will call out to is him#this has definitely been said before but#it's like they're not written as a gang anymore it's just Oboro and Shouta#everything that Midnight and Mic are written doing is always for Aizawa#show us why they love him?? dont just tell us he's great#show me he's worth it#mic is purposefully written as hurting over Kayama's death and Aizawa is purposefully written as brushing him off#but he's still framed as this great hero and teacher and guy in general#he feels like he got mary sue'd and i know thats an overused term but#idk i still love aizawa but i feel like the way he's written and framed has changed#but i am also petty when my favourite characters don't get the treatment they deserve#if youre going to flesh out Mic's backstory and give him history and character and emotion#at least let him be a character and not just 'the guy who supports aizawa'#this post was brought to you by Micnight gang#xx love yous
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I'm really bad at law school 🧍♀️
#just got my mark back for an essay#buh-bye honours program next year ig#I haven't been handing anything in on time but this is the first time someone's actually picked up on it and deducted marks#IF IT'S HANDED IN THE SAME DAY JUST HOURS AFTER 4 PM BUT BEFORE MIDNIGHT WHY IS IT COUNTED AS A DAY LATE#granted this specific one was like 10 mins before midnight#but holy shit bro I got murdered in my feedback#I'm too stupid for law school honestly why the fuck am I here#yes I passed and I got a credit but that's not what I was aiming for and it's not what I would have gotten if it wasnt late#because I could have been that much closer to a distinction which would ease some pressure of the exam off#but nooo I had to get marks taken off for handing it in BEFORE MIDNIGHT#got told I don't really seem to have an understanding of corporate theory and I seem confused#it was clear I engaged with the materials But Not Enough#do you know how many FUCKING sticky notes I have in my damn textbook??#I even looked at a SECOND textbook!#and took written-on-paper-notes to try and wrap my head around the different theories that applied to the topic and how to argue them!#on top of what notes I had from the lecture slides#and you're telling me 😭 that was all just for my professor to call me silly in fifty different nicer forms? 😭#had a cry because I am Going Through It today#and I have another assignment to hand in tonight#and then another one next week#and another one the week after#AND the week after that#and then it's my exams 😔 someone please murder me
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getting an iced pumpkin chai in the morning and then my personal goal is to spend the whole day writing and i hope i can come back to this post tomorrow and rb w how much progress i’ve made!!!
#i have a love/hate relationship w this fic and i’m gonna rant to myself bc hehe it’s almost midnight so why not :>#okay SO. i for some reason just didn’t create any proper outline for this story and i think that’s why it’s taken me so long to write it#because i don’t necessarily have a why/a REASON for this story or plot… like even thinking abt doing the dialogue and trying to find flow +#cohesion is making me so 😐 and also honestly… i’m terrible at doing drafts in the first place#i don’t write linearly i jump all over the place while writing and SOMETIMES i can connect things but this time i could NOT#and i would focus on one tiny part for SO long and make no progress anywhere else like GIRL……… ENOUGH#but hmmmm yeah i also for some reason feel like esp w my writing it’s super robotic and doesn’t have emotion#like i’m not writing w suguru’s voice and instead i’m writing as the author and it’s kinda irking me#if that makes sense… hmmmm……….. also i might be doing dual pov so hopefully it doesn’t look too wonky#but yeah 😭 i need to work on scene setting & describing things effectively + doing show not tell#like i just made a mini outline rn and wow . it’s Not it at all 😭😭😭 there’s no WHY to the story and it’s making it hard to write#okay not necessarily a ‘why’ but like . What’s The Point of the story#sigh. i need to figure that out#also there’s so much stuff i want to add but i feel like it’ll be clunky + it’ll move fast or be weird#but my goal for tomorrow is truly and honestly write the meat and bones of it and then i can edit ruthlessly later on#i was thinking of getting it out this week but i forgot election week/don’t have anything really written either 😭#but hopefully next week if i try hard enough! the goal is before december bc i want this to be a november fic#but yeah that’s my mini vent @ me i’m glad to just talk abt in the tags#feels like for this story specifically it’s been a lot of looking at my docs instead of writing which is WHACK 🤨#also i don’t like my writing style + i want to write better in GENERAL#that’ll come w practice & doing it often though 😭#ALSO . SIDENOTE but why does tumblr not let me link things anymore like NDNDNDND SO STUPID#OOOOH AND . i need to start/finish selfship moodboards & also create wip lists for geto/gojo/toji but for REAL#as in wipe i’ll actually plan to write next not just ones i like the sound of 😭#ANYWAYS I’M SO SLEEBY……… honk shoo mimimi cult leader geto please pat my head to sleep and be kind to me#GIRL THIS IS LONG AS HELL OMFG . silence @ me 🤫 what a YAPPER#personal
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So earlier today I introduced some of my WIPs to some new people, and I realised that many people might not be familiar with those two WIPs.
Kriya Petri: fantasy (with body horror & dystopian elements). Setting: A country called Fillor on a planet called Thuluke. In Fillor, to bind yourself to the one you love, you require a trinamate potion to seal the bond. 'Trinamate' is marriage (though that is a rather crude translation of the word). But to get a trinamate potion legally, the couple needs to be… acceptable. A man and a woman who plan to have at least one child. Yes, it's been 1000 years since the global apocalypse, but 'sufficient reproduction' is still a concern among the Filore people (plus it's a moral virtue for the Divine Monarchy, who reside on the cloudlands, with an iron grip on the institutes of Fillor). A potioneer wants to elope with their lover, but the pair is, let's just say, not acceptable. So what are they to do? The potioneer brews a trinamate potion on their own, finding the closely guarded methods & ingredients for the potion through who-knows-who, bunch of shady people. The potion explodes. The potioneer knows the punishment for something like this. They'll be condemned to Kaewoe (so will their lover, if anyone finds out), a realm so deep below the ground that it's close to the core of the planet. Kaewoe, where the mind & body are destroyed by the horribly high concentration of magic. Kaewoe, the names & lives & loves of all who enter it, all slowly turned to unknowledge. Good thing stealing identities is absurdly easy in Fillor! The potioneer wipes all memory of their crimes & love (or else the Thought magicians would know), flees to the city of Naebo. Their name is now Kriya Petri,
.
Welcome To The Real World: scifi, fantasy, surrealism, horror, tragedy
This one's in very early stages Inspired by Frankenstein Setting: The Great South Asian Rip in Reality, where physics (time & space both) is just completely twisted. The year is sometime in the 2070s. Sometimes it's the 2040s outside the Rip. Depends when/where you step out. Moh-maya, reality's very fabric & everything that keeps up the illusions that comprise reality, are very malleable in here. Main character: Kabir aka Moksh. A closeted Indian trans man who lives a double life, perhaps even a triple life. One in which he's a cis woman & a regular bright STEM student (STEM studies also include study of moh-maya). Another in which he's just some guy with good friends (the most authentic of his lives), where he goes by the name Kabir & uses moh-maya to present as his true self. If only temporarily. (it's painful, mentally & physically, whenever he has to revert to the female form). The third is some mad scientist bullshit, he's going by the name of Moksh among his fellow mad scientists & his main project is a moh-maya Frankenstein's monster that others can share their consciousness with, such that they can experience shape-shifting more easily & go where they physically aren't, do things they physically can't. Let's simply call it the 'entity'. Due to many reasons, creating this entity is pretty illegal. Hence the new name & collaboration with fellow shady people. the plot, put shortly: he starts doing vigilante justice w/the entity & then goes far & gets more & more consumed w/work & things go verrrrrrryyyyyy wrong despite starting with (dubious but) good intentions.
in this second one i neglected to mention the fact that you, as the reader, get front row tickets to the main character's spiral into madness & justifying murders thru the entity + the entity is a whole person & has opinions + a whole lot of other stuff, I DID mention that this WIP is in very early stages but holy fuck i could go on & on about it (just not in a way that can be packaged in a structured & sensible introduction)
#i have re-written the introduction to kriya petri so many times because it's hard to know WHAT parts i should talk about first#and this introduction still isn't concise. currently i'm not really in the phase where nailing the introduction is super important but#it's still at least a LITTLE BIT important. but i never seem to get it right. i think this one IS an improvement over my other#introductions to this wip because it gets the MAIN FOCUSES across (and even without talking about the other major characters it at least#touches upon the issues kriya has which will be common with the other characters. so it works).#still not entirely satisfied BUT this is my 'baby' wip cuz i started it when i was 14 and it's grown so much in the past 4 years#and honestly i should probably just read a bunch of scifi (finish octavia butler's series lilith's brood maybe since i finished the last#book recently) because before i wrote this intro. THAT was what made some of the worldbuilding aspects 'click'.#i really need to make the amphibious nature of the thuluken humans play more of a part in their culture as well!#i just realised that so many aspects of this world have been DISCONNECTED! they need to be woven together!#it's midnight and i'm sleepy. why am i sleepy i could be working on this (or on my college assignments [it's okay i've got a lot of time#for them & am making progress on them at a steady rate])
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My piece for @enstarsbb !! Super excited to finally get to share this with everyone! Mission complete!
(Pssst you should check out the artist I worked with too over at @alkaloidalypse /@/zacizach on twt/insta)
#shay writes#ensemble stars#enstars#enstarsbb23#knights enstars#izumi sena#arashi narukami#those 2 r the most important in this fic so they get tags#i havent written knights in such a long fic before pwease be niceys#i was. very inspired by fragrance#okay its midnight i should sleep i just thought i'd post it while im awake so.#oh also it is unfinished but i dont plan on posting part 2 on ao3 so.#i'll post it here if i ever finish it.
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Please I am begging for you to give me your creepypasta Au lore and headcanons 🙏 absolutely info dump on here❗️❗️
Oh god hi sure!
First things first, I’ve made a ask blog called @ask-the-operators-voice
It’s still in construction, but when it’s ready y’all can see the storyline semi play out in real time!
But for now, here’s the first part of the story:
My own AU is centered around Masky and how the Operator is a entity that just wants to spread.
For as long as people know about him, his roots on this realm are solid. And the more that know about him- the more his power grows.
When Tim was young he slipped from his dad’s view into the woods near the park- there, he found a old well.
Said well had a single candle on it, and as he was investigating the well, something (Kate) came by and lit the candle.
Tim was right there when the portal to Der Großmann’s realm opened, and he got a face full of static and eldritch energy.
With Tim’s memory of Slender fresh in his mind, Slender was able to gain a stronger foothold into the earthen realm-
And Tim started to get stalked by Slender.
Der Großmann watched the entire time. Learning, growing. And he grew oh so attached to Tim.
Tim suffered- in and out of mental hospitals as he dealt with the Operator’s sickness, he gained somewhat of a immunity to it-
And with the help of pills, he eventually was able to completely ignore and mostly forget about the Operator.
Time passed, he went to college. He met Brian, he met Alex-
Marble Hornets kicked off- and the attacks were brutal.
By the end of it, Many people were dead, and from Jay’s actions of uploading the tapes- many people knew about Slender and the infection spread.
But with the infection came a side effect-
With so much energy flooding Slender, some.. floated away. The magic in the air grew attached to strong emotions-
And those who suffered.
Jeff was one of the first. Toby followed. Sally. Clockwork. Morgan. Both Eyeless and Laughing Jack.
Filled with magic they couldn’t control, the magic surged through their emotions and gave them a cruel bloodlust.
Meanwhile, the Großmann broke the silent barrier between him and Tim.
He offered Tim something he couldn’t deny- Brian back.
Due to the fall, Brian died, his soul moved on- but Slender, he wanted his first child back. So he took Brian’s corpse. Resurrected him, and brought him to Tim.
Brian, Hoodie, held no memories of Tim. His throat was too mangled by Alex and the fall and was unable to speak.
But Tim couldn’t lose his first and best friend again.
So he went with Slender and fell under his control as a proxy.
With both him and Hoodie marked as proxies, they went out to do Slender’s bidding- and they quickly discovered what had happened to the world.
New entities, filled with the magic that didn’t go straight to slender, filled with madness and rage and so much bloodlust they couldn’t NOT attack anyone who they saw-
Tim, now Masky, and Hoodie collected the first one they found- Toby- and brought him to Slender.
And slender found a new source of magic. The effected human’s rage were a beacon of magic, all energy flooded to them instead of Slender-
But by keeping them close by- Slender could drain the magic- return them to sanity- and, essentially, use them as auto refilling bottles of magic.
Slender liked that. He wanted that.
So he sent the twins, Masky and Hoodie, out to collect more. Meanwhile, Slender built a mansion to house his new pets.
To him, the humans were nothing but bugs. Sure, some humans keep them as pets- and for Slender, he is the eldritch equivalent of that.
#Mansion AU#Creepypasta#Slender man#Yes I did just copy and paste the stuff I sent to NachosForFree#It’s midnight where I am lmao#Also if you’re curious I do have old Mansion AUs on my blog written under the tag baby Masky AU#or baby Masky#tho I don’t recommend it because I wrote it before I understood DID that well#so Masky & Hoodie Are Alters in that AU
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damn this google doc got hands
#s.txt#oooohh yeah ill just do a little writing before bed i said . at 9pm#it is now midnight . zero words have in fact been written#sigh whatever ...... i give up . eepy time#tomorrow for sure . right .............
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Normal people: vent about their feelings in a diary or blog post
Me: makes a whole ass zine at nearly midnight
#okay so i was CONSIDERING the vent zine#and then um something and then i was like “yeah no i cant rest until i get this out”#so i sat down and made this vent zine that's gonna embarrass me next year lmao#am i okay? ... actually I'm trying to be okay now#I'm just questioning something about someone#sorry to keep referring back to That Thing it's just been on my mind a lot#even before that vent post for a while now i was wondering if everything really was okay. if it was making me okay.#because i dont want to be selfish and abandon someone when they need me. I've been abandoned before.#but it's been going on like this for a while and I'm taking too much of it in#i cant even see their name on my phone or like receive a message without going through mini heart attacks wondering if something's wrong-#-again and if i need to hear another drama again#it kind of feels uncomfortable as well in a way. like they're oversharing and that I'm not supposed to be knowing so much#maybe that's just me though. maybe im automatically distancing myself without realising it?#i dont know i just want to hide and not be so... involved i guess?#i think maybe I'm a person more suited to lighter friendships. or maybe there's been so much heaviness that this is just too much now#i dont know. i dont hate them at all but i wouldn't be too upset if they ghosted me (maybe thats just how i feel right now)#i dont know if I'm running away from my problems instead of trying to fix them or something#i have fixed them before. i have communicated and fixed issues before but this time i just cant anymore#okay that's enough rambling. it's midnight#mind you my zine does look pretty good. for a zine made out of a single sheet of paper and written/doodled on in black pen with a lil red#alright that's enough from me now. if you've stayed for this long go drink some water-i know you havent hydrated in ages#(says the woman who hasnt hydrated either-)
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not Midnight Mass Erin and Riley talking about their different visions of death and the afterlife, seemingly not realizing that they were using very different words to describe exactly the same thing, and making me openly cry at my desk while doing so
#death is where you are not alone and the bad thing never happened#i committed to only watching two episodes today but i kinda wanna just binge it all#this show. the writing is SO GOOD#having Riley explain what he believes death will be like - the firing and neurons and the microbiome continuing to feast on your meat -#in such BEAUTIFUL and poetic language! with such reverence! and hope!#one of the few (only?) times I've seen someone describe the oblivion of a 'godless' death with such beauty and hope#(without being suicidal - the fact that they could easily have written riley as suicidal but that option was literally never on the table)#vs the childlike simplicity of Erin's description of an unborn baby returning to heaven to be loved#the thing she didnt say but was clearly between the lines - that the baby came to save her and thats all it did. then it returned home#and the fact that both of their visions were so... simplistic. idealized#riley's death wouldn't restore the world to the state it was before he lived. his atoms don't go to join the stars#and he knows that but it's poetry. it's the idealization. that's the same as what imagining erin's unborn baby beloved by all is#death is all your wildest dreams coming true but somewhere far away where you cant touch it now#midnight mass
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omg ur tags but also sza should've won w sos 😭😭😭
If they've never given AOTY to Beyonce they were never going to give it to SZA. I knew they were just a board of petty sycophants when The Weeknd's After Hours wasn't even nominated. Do they really expect us to take the AOTY category seriously anymore? LMAO.
#btw i just went to your page; thank you for reminding me i have to edit Park Celine Dion Sungjin#anyways he is sometimes a sus person but Abel 100% deserved AOTY for After Hours#i think you only win when you play by their rules#this goes for every major clique and inner circle#this is just real life tho like i can't even be mad i'm just resigned#Kill Bill has longevity tbh#the album still sounds fresh#i never want to listen to anything on Midnights except Anti Hero#which is self deprecation in a Music Theatre Kid kind of way#it works for her though#but I think she has written far far better material before
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@blasterdiablo (Yet another Club drabble for an idea I had to get out that you do not have to respond to but tagging you anyway LOL)
Dreams were a weird thing. At times, you could wake up remembering every thing in vivid detail as if it really happened to you. Others, you could recall nothing at all what you saw. Though, surely the dream Asaka was having right now would fall into the former category, a dream that seemed so intense and real it was as if it was a memory.
The college student finds herself in an unfamiliar location, one where silver weapons decorated the walls and It was a dark space that's only light came from the few candles from fixtures on the walls. She shifts her head to further examine the place, quickly realizing she wasn't alone in this strange room. Yes, with her right now was...
"Ren...? What are you doing here? And where is here?" She questions, being unable to get a good look at him. Much of his body, other than his red locks, were being concealed by the darkness that surrounded them, after all. Slowly, she approaches him, being careful where she steps, but eventually stops once she makes it in front of him and is able to see him clearly as the room suddenly becomes brighter with the addition of more candles being lit.
And what she sees before her icey blue hues is an image she never wished to see. It was a sight that can only be best described as her worst fear brought to life. What she sees is her love, the person she most treasured in this world, covered in blood from head to toe. His eyes were wide, his body covered in bruises and slash marks that could be seen through unfamiliar clothes, and most shockingly of all, his stomach had been peirced with a black sword, one that resembled the one Ren had hung up over their bed in their bedroom.
Worst yet...that sword wasn't stuck in there. No, it was being held there by something. As soon as Asaka's gazes follows the end blade to the handle...she realizes just what or rather who was holding it. The one who had presumably stabbed Ren, who presumably caused him great suffering was...was...
Herself.
"W-What?! This...This can't...This can't be! I wouldn't...! I couldn't...! I'd never...!"
It's then that his body finally limps and falls on her, bringing both her and him down to the cold stone ground. His blood now stains her own body, both now covered in the red substance that to vampires symbolized life and to humans symbolized death. A hand is swiftly placed on his neck, checking it for the sign of a pulse. However, it just as quickly goes limp as soon as she feels nothing coming from it, a coldness now surging through her body like it had just been hit with a winter breeze.
Ren was...dead because of her.
Ren had been killed...because of her.
Ren had been killed...by her.
Just as she always feared might happen to him one day...
"No..."
"No..."
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Her cries of agony echo throughout the dark room and back in her shared dorm room with Ren. They were so loud that they were probably heard by those in the floors below them, such as Aichi and Kai. Her eyes then shoot open, sweat dropping down her face as she quickly sits up and breaths in and out heavily trying to process everything. Though, her concern quickly switched from her own well being to search around her room, looking for the person who she had just witnessed being killed by her own hands.
However, Ren wasn't...in the room with her. She checked the closet. She checked their balcony. She even checked under the bed to see if he was trying to prank her or something. He wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere she looked. And that fact...made her body start to shake, Asaka's knees buckling as she sinks to the floor in the center of their shared space.
Asaka had a reputation of being strong and beautiful, the person who knew how to hold it together and get things done. She was the one who started the Pale Moon Club in the first place. If it wasn't for her efforts, her kind wouldn't have a sanctuary in this human-run university. The club president she prided herself on being was far from the horrified woman who was on the floor now, the one who was slowly starting to cry as panic and worry took over regarding the current fate of her beloved human.
"Ren...Ren you can't be...You can't be...dead... All because of me...Because of a miserable creature like me...A creature who doesn't deserve you...or the love you've given me..."
~
#💎 Crystalized Hidden Gems (Drabble)#💎 Assassin Treasure (Asaka Narumi)#💎 King Of The Blasters Of Darkness (Blasterdiablo)#💎 Assassin's Hidden Sanctuary For The Cursed Crimson (Asaka Pale Moon Club AU)#tw long post#tw blood#tw vampire#tw death#tw dark imagery#tw killing#(A Chan getting Luquier dreams cause Kai Aichi and Ren cant have all the flashback fun#(MY HORT FOR POOR AH CHAN I CANNOT#(I ICONED HER FIGHT WITH REN IN V CAUSE THOSE EXPRESSIONS JUST FIT THIS WELL CAUSE OMG THE ANGST#(Like i said before you dont gotta respond to this if you don't want to its a drabble lol but if you want a asaren warmup here#(I FIGURE RENS LIKE GETTING A MIDNIGHT SNACK OR IS IN THE BATHROOM OR SOMETHING IS JUST GONNA COME BACK TO ASAKA A MESS#(WE HAVNT WRITTEN REN COMFORTING A CHAN YET SO THATS ANOTHER THING WE CAN DO HERE#(IF YOU WANNA RESPOND TO THIS
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Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but does anyone else feel like this song might have been written after Midnights was finished....
#a la mr perfectly fine being written in 2009 but still being put on fearless#maybe right before it came out or early this year but i guess it kinda fits the theme of midnights#it just kinda feels out of place
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