#I think this is because I like getting gifts i can in fact be bribed and i am cheap

[angelhound]

i love buying gifts for people who dont talk to me at all

[vidalinav]

(lovingly banging fists on table) sick Nesta! Sick Nesta! Sick Nesta!

Okay, part 1! Though it doesn't include sick Nesta yet.

Oh! Also this is an acofas re-write basically.

~

"Maybe she decided not to come," Elain whispers to Feyre, peering through the window as if that might summon their sister--a ghost in winter white.

Cassian pretends not to overhear, but one look from Rhys tells him they're all aware of the missing Archeron sister who's decided to not grace them with her presence.

Mor claps her hands, moving to stand with a drink in her hand--probably to remind Feyre of birthday wishes and solstice celebrations--that life is not lived staring out of windows. Rhys only takes a sip of his wine, his eyes growing darker as he stares at burning firewood. Ashes and dust collecting at the bottom.

Not for the first time does Cassian wish he could peer into his brother's thoughts, like he can hear into his mind. He has a vague inclination as to what he might find, and Cassian can't help the feeling welling up in his chest, howling like the winter wind.

Nesta said she'd attend, but she's nowhere in sight.

She does have an act for haunting them.

Her absence is here in this room, and no amount of ignoring that simple fact will stop Elain from checking the windows or looking up at the door. Feyre keeps looking at the envelope he knows is filled with money--a bribe for coming to her own sister's birthday.

A bribe for coming to a place she'll know he'll be.

Because he hasn't forgotten that part. Cassian hasn't forgotten how Nesta throws him away, telling him in no uncertain terms she wants nothing to do with him. Nothing but... laying on his body to shield him from a fatal blow.

Nothing but almost dying together.

He can hear the crisp crackling of the fire. A snap and a twist, like bones and blood. A war that took from them all--but somehow left a ghost where Nesta Archeron used to be.

"She said she'd come," Feyre says, certainty in her voice. A certainty that no one in this room must share--not even Cassian who keeps thinking of her name as if that alone will call her forth.

Nesta. Nesta. Nesta.

The wind howls it.

Nesta. Nesta. Nesta.

The winter sings it.

Where must Nesta Archeron be?

"Do you think something happened to her?"

"I'll go look for her," Cassian says, standing abruptly in response to Elain's question.

Amren scoffs, sniffing at her drink like it might be blood. He wonders if she wishes she still had a taste for it. "You're probably the last she wants to see."

Cassian looks to Elain and then to Feyre, who stands by the door, the envelope tucked closely in her hand. "Do you want to go look for her?"

Mor huffs, grasping Feyre's arm. "It's Feyre's birthday. Should we not celebrate? Azriel can send his shadows."

At the mention of his name, Azriel peers towards him. Cassian can't read his mind, but he thinks he knows what that look means--knows that it's something he'll never say aloud.

"You should go," Azriel says, his voice strong if not quiet.

"But you'll be missing the celebration!"

Feyre only looks to Cassian at the words, her look stern and commanding. He is her loyal soldier after all.

"I want her here," she says.

It's Elain who offers her sister reprieve, a placating, soft palm resting on Feyre's shoulder. "What if she doesn't want to come?"

"She doesn't have a choice," Rhys grits out from his seat on the couch, his drink swirling in his hand. Cassian thinks of tornados and storms, a rumbling earthquake trapped in glass.

Feyre stands taller as she faces her mate. "She'll always have a choice."

Cassian doesn't wait to hear Rhys grumble or his muttering apologies or what he'll say about Nesta. He doesn't know if Rhys will keep quiet or not, but something tells him his brother is getting close to putting his foot in his mouth rather than biting his tongue.

So Cassian goes for his coat, and the scarf he knows Elain had meant to gift Nesta at the beginning of the season. It sits in the closet collecting dust, and so too does her name in his mind--calling and echoing, never silent. Never answered.

"Take my coat, too," Feyre calls. "Just in case."

Cassian gives one firm nod at his high lady, one grimace to her sister, and one glance to his family who look at him as if they've never quite seen him before. A look he's seen plenty. A look that means they just don't understand why.

Cassian isn't sure himself, if he's honest.

Or perhaps, it just hurts too much to be honest.

That this human turned fae, this woman turned saint, cauldron blessed or cursed, had not just taken from the cauldron.

She had taken his entire soul with her too.

~

He finds her lying in the snow with a fever in the next part. bye!

[marengogo]

Are You Sure?! - #3: Jungkook Is My Chef - Jin, 2020

Neva Play - by Megan Thee Stallion feat. RM 

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Hello sassy Gurls, Bois and Enbys, how y’all do~ing?

Told ya I was gonna use this gif a lot, this is basically me, for real - for real! Hope you are enjoying Neva Play by Megan Thee Stallion feat. RM, and I also hope you get to feel relaxed at some point in your day/week/life, which by the way, I have been feeling for the past 5 days and let me tell you relaxing was a very old feeling I hadn’t felt in such a long-ass time that I am frankly shocked and I am loving it. You know, that feeling where I can finally feel myself completely, talk to those I want to talk when I want to, and go about my day with absolutely no hurry:

Revolutionary! Staycations are where it’s at. If you haven’t tried it, I highly advise it.

Anyways.

Staying at home and only leaving the house for more relaxing activities got me thinking about a lot of things, one of these things being JK & Domesticity. As we all know or not my Twin-flame is not big on travelling, to be precise, he hates walking. He is the type of guy who would rather stay at home and cook you a very exquisite meal accompanied with the perfect drink he is a proper Earth sign he is a Staycation Connoisseur; what did you think he had all those mattresses for?! Duh. Another thing he’s not big on is doing things he doesn’t want to, and/or doesn’t like, add that to travelling and you have the perfect How to Turn-Off JK Package 😬.

But people the members at some point figured out a way to get around this particular aversions of his, being was bribery 😌, which would usually go “If you come with me to X, you’ll get to do Y”. Now, that was for 17 years old JK, who was extremely bad with the aforementioned, but let me tell you about 27 year old JK, you still might have to bribe him to a certain extent, but the acceptance rate is much easier; the growth is 👌🏾. However, you know who actually even doesn’t have to bribe a 27 year old JK? Literally, this person just has to ask? If anything JK has been the one trying to bribe this person for a good year 😬… Yeah! You guessed it, this guy 👇🏾

I don’t want to call my Twin-Flame a simp, cause he can definitely stand on business, but sometimes bro 🙄… 😩… anyways I’ll let him off for today. I’ll let him off because in all honesty, I am very impressed, and somewhat touched, by the level of attention he’s been bestowing JM during each episode, but real talk, he's been at it for years now, particularly when it comes to food, which is one of JK’s biggest loves so big it could compete with JM and also just so happens to be something that JM seems to be … somewhat selective about. 

The first time I clued in on this was during this live:

During this live, JM just so casually informed JK that the champagne they were being served was the only champagne he could drink, and you could literally see JK’s eyes and brain making notes. Not sure why JK had to know that bit of information, but sure, okay 🙄… this was November 2021. Fast forward to October 2022, almost a whole year later, during this live: 

Our Party-Party-Yeah Unit gets together and JK prepares champagne for everyone, except JM, at which Tae tries to make JM drink, which he refuses, and Hobi tries to understand why he is not drinking it, at which JM explains:

JK kept silent the whole while drinking and eating as one does when food is your passion, cause he knew better, in fact, he knew so much better that going back to 2021, during JM’s birthday live in October, even before the “Champagne Live”, he casually gifted JM a bottle of joy and 3 bottles of water of course, because even though JM asked for 1, you never know when you might need more water, you know?! 🤡 (Also, I’ll have you know that, personally, I am team JK Prepared That BD Cake, but as always, to each their own beliefs). 

So let’s keep fast-forwarding. We are now in 2023 and from America to Korea to Japan, Airplane pat.2 style, this is JK:

So my question here is: Does this look like the type of knowledge that a person who rarely sees someone would be in possession of? Imagine getting to seldomly meet someone and all you do is ask them about their dietary requirements, just so you can meet them again briefly and … recite said requirements to them? Not when they have the same inside jokes, the same taste, and, out of all the members, they seem to be very invested in couple-matching clothing like heavily?

Doesn’t it make more sense for this to perhaps be the result of continuous exposure to a certain behaviour/situation? JM often eats spicy things, hence he likes spicy things. JM likes this particular combination of flavours, so I think he will like this kimbap, also this sukiyaki and that ramen, etc etc etc. I’ve cooked so many things with pink sausage for JM, I was way shocked when he said it was ham! … All I am saying is that if JK didn’t budge when Tae couldn’t tell the difference between ham and pink sausage, but was hella shocked when JM couldn’t, he must have his reasons to assume that JM ought to have known. 

Y’all think I’m reaching about JK being very knowledgeable about JM’s nutrition facts? Understandable … but my husband 💅🏾 if you are new to my blog, Jin is my husband 🤡 seems to have thought the same thing as me shocker all the way back in 2020 as shown by this Festa profile that he filled while “pretending” to be JM:

This profile lives rent free in my head, and to this day, I’d like to ask my husband what was the reason? He was able to come up with very abstract, and profound, associations for all the members, except JK, his was very concrete and oddly specific; don’t you think? Cause you know what? If you think about it a little harder, you can be cuties, next-chair-soul-mates, god-like, aegyo-buddies, and best friends at a distance. But a chef? You gotta be physically present to cook and feed someone... and I’ll leave that at that. Very specific I tell you. Very specific.

This was literally all I think he truly wanted: a staycation with JM. 

All JK wanted was to “have a drink with JM”, most likely because he thought he couldn’t ask for more during their busy schedules. BTW, how mad is it to tell your mate that you are going to a whole other country to have a drink with someone? Though he does strike me to be the type of guy who gets you in for one drink and makes you stay for eggs, jussayin’ …

This was supposed to be just one trip. Once again, JK had tried all year to get some alone time with JM, so if one trip was all he got, to make the memories he might have felt he needed to get by in case they didn’t get to enlist together which they didn’t know during they would have during the NY trip: THEN SO BE IT. After all he had settled for a drink, one trip? Now that's luxury!

YET…  

NY - JM was kijul most of the time so, out-of-the-blue-cheese, caretaker was added as a job description. BUT not to fret … they got to go on another trip. Hell yeah!

JEJU - Last minute change: They ended up becoming hosts, which hey, they were great hosts! The guest had fun and the hosts were delighted. Win-win.

SAPPORO - … I wouldn’t be surprised if JK stopped by a trusted shaman before the trip, in order to learn preventive measures 🤡 not all shamans are evil y’all …. 

Winter. Snow. Reminiscing: Perfection 👌🏾. 

I think he would have been ready to Taekwondoo anyone who dared to come between Him and his JM Time. TBH I would have been ready to fight as well, I am his Twin-Flame after all and all I really ever want is for him to have what he wants. ALWAYS. I honestly truly want him to be happy, as much as possible, which, on this Sapporo trip, he seems to be a lot, by the looks of it particularly when all he wants is a drink in good company.

To conclude, the way I am looking forward, but also not, to episode 7 and 8 y’all can’t even begin to understand 🤡. JK’s excitement, romantic spirit, and clinginess levels are off the roof bro, so I’m a bit, on my toes he a simp he a simp he a simp. One thing I will also have to say tho, which I am fairly glad about, is that both JM & JK have finally learned how to be ready for the presence of a camera; kudos to you bros! 🤡

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

[kazoohaa]

Headcanons for Dan Heng, Gepard, Serval, and March with a gn s/o that bakes? Please?

𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐒 & 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒. honkai star rail

— notes. i know like nothing about baking so i actually had to search up baked foods LMAO 😭 i’m sorry i didn’t include dan heng, i ran out of ideas :(

— details. gepard, serval, march x gn!reader (separate). fluff.

gepard

you bake?? he thinks that’s pretty cool!

and it makes him so indescribably touched whenever you gift him some things that you’ve baked yourself before he has to go on duty, like in the mornings before he has to patrol, or in the afternoons and evenings when the day’s work is done and over with

it’s something tasty to munch on (bonus points because it’s made by you!) and a snack that’s easy to bring around with him

(the other silvermane guards don’t fail to notice every time they see him walking around with some little baked treat in hand, and a tiny smile on his face)

(the silvermane guards are your no.1 shippers actually 💯)

gepard hasn’t really tried cooking, baking, etc, but it’s been something that he’s been interested in learning for a while

once tried his hand at baking because he wanted to give you something back — cupcakes should be simple enough? he tried his best, he really did!! it didn’t turn out as well as he’d hoped, but he tried to decorate them as pretty as possible for you

in the end, he made little smiley faces on the cupcakes. they’re a bit wonky, but he’s got the spirit

he got really embarrassed when he eventually gave them to you since they felt sub-par, especially compared to the things that you can make. sheepishly, he suggested that maybe the two of you could have dates where you can bake together, so that he can learn from you..? if you’re fine with that, of course..!

serval

it always brightens her day every time you drop by her store and gift her a pastry! the food itself is definitely delicious, but the thing that really makes her happy is the fact that she’s seeing you <3

serval actually likes your baking a lot, and she’d probably try to bribe you in order to get you to make some more for her lmaoo

“hey, i really liked those biscuits you gave me the other day — do you have any more of them?? aw.. c’mon, i’ll play you a free song if you make me some moreee.... haha, i know i already do that anyways, but..”

her favourites are the types that are good to eat on the go, just something easy to grab while she does something else. since she’s usually spending her time tinkering with different sorts of mechanical contraptions or random instruments in her workshop, it’s convenient to have something either bite-sized or easy to finish while she works

march 7th

super interested in your hobby!! she’d really like while you bake, probably trying to join in at the most fun parts like making (and testing) the icing

march also becomes your (self proclaimed) unofficial photographer for when the food’s all ready to eat! right after it comes out of the oven, she’ll be taking so many photos at different angles and making sure the lighting looks good — so that even though she can’t preserve the taste of the things you’ve baked, she’ll remember how delicious they looked!

as well as using the photos to show off how good her amazing s/o is at baking LMAO

march also slips in a few snaps of you during the baking process, or would poke flour on your nose and then take a silly selfie of you

she’d also pretend to be a professional food critic when she tastes what you’ve made — but she always loves whatever you make, so the rating always ends up being the highest she could give you every time

“your favourite professional gastronome march rates thiiis... five stars!! huh? what do you mean i say that every time?! cute girls like me are experts in rating good cuisine, so i’m speaking the truth!”

[contentloadingandstuff]

"Ningguang's Dog" - Male!Reader x Ningguang

CW: Male!Reader.

A/N: Things have been quiet recently, I am aware of that. Currently, I'm working on the second chapter of Mortuarius, and a big smut fic. Don't hold your breath, though. I don't know when those will be completed.

Ningguang's life never was free from criticism and pressure - after all, there's no one higher in Liyue than Tianquan. That fact naturally attracts prying eyes and jealous competitors, just waiting for a chance to undermine her reputation and, hopefully, take her place. But it has been plenty of time and nobody succeeded. 

The attention grew since she started meeting up with you. You were both aware of that being the case if you would date, and both agreed to take it on. Although Ningguang never officially confirmed that fact, everybody knew what was going on. She was often seen with you out in the city, during official events, as well as the festivities. She was also seen with you after hours in a few luxurious restaurants. That didn’t leave much place for guessing.

Most were happy for her. Especially the older, more conservative folk. Ningguang was a spinster in their eyes, so having a husband would make things more “normal” in their eyes. Are such opinions premature? Yes, very much so. Those that aren’t happy are mostly neutral or just okay with that fact. But some? Boy, are they upset.

Unsurprisingly, most of them are bitter, old entrepreneurs - rivals of Ningguang. How can she be so happy with you? They shower her in gifts: expensive jewelry, precious artifacts, priceless paintings, luxury food… And all they get is a hum of satisfaction, or a smile if they are lucky, while you? You give her trash like silver necklaces, small outings, flowers, or nothing at all. Despite that, Ningguang always smiles brightly and thanks you profusely.

Actually, you don’t even need to do anything for her to smile. She does that seemingly just because you’re there. The mean ones compare you to a dog, or rather a puppy. Hence your nickname - “Ningguang’s Dog”.

Those gifts they call “trash” are more precious than anything they ever gave her, Ningguang thinks. Those are heartless emotional bribes, stripped of all feeling and good intent. Unlike yours. No matter how small your offering is, it always carries love. A small silver necklace with a Noctilus Jade was bought with your hard earned money. You could have borrowed it from her - she would gladly spare you as much Mora as you wished, but still you chose to get it yourself. Those Glaze Lilies you bring aren’t there to help convince her - you get them because they “remind you of her beauty”. And the outings? It may not be Xinyue Kiosk every time, but the place is still always nice, with the right atmosphere and tasty food. And, of course, you are there. 

You. It’s the reason. Simple as. This is how love feels like, doesn’t it? Being happy simply because her lover is there, that she has the privilege of your affection, she gets to be showered in those few-but-honest gifts, the best of them being your genuine feeling. 

Ningguang wears your gifts with pride, even if they stand out. She will never not do so. It’s a sign that you chose her, of all the Liyue women. Social status means nothing when it comes to love - it transcends boundaries. There are girls better than her, of course. Kinder, more energetic, with more free time and energy to devote to their lovers. Still, she got to enjoy you. How lucky she is, she still can’t believe it. 

And the critics? If they don’t comprehend such a straightforward thing as love, they don’t deserve even a snippet of her recognition.

Thanks for reading!

[eyedoeluhn]

the portrayal of Aisha in BCF is, to say it concisely, awful. It’s not a surprise, BCF is (in my opinion) a terrible fic, but it manages to, at this point in the plot (108.1) managed to make every character it seems end up in a far worse position than where they normally would’ve been in canon. Which goes the same for Aisha, who is part of our main character’s, Joe’s, squad.

Before she’s folded into Joe’s team she’s a sexually aggressive ‘fast’ girl who harasses Joe by flirting with him and following him around the Laborn’s gym which he frequents.

Apparently her favorite hobby is this because it’s basically all we get about her from the other people at the gym too!

thanks Joe I really loved reading that. It’s my favorite part between the bits where the gym guys console poor baby you about how they’re so sympathetic about you being harassed by a child. This isn’t even my specific point I just wanted to mention this is how they meet. Anyways, after this Aisha triggers and having worked out Joe is a cape, follows him to his workshop. Through CF shit he makes a focus that boosts and allows her control of her power and makes a workaround for him, and she’s now ‘part of the team.’ Her welcoming ceremony is his sentient fashion thing dragging her away to dress her ‘properly’. Don’t worry, she dresses modestly and tastefully with Joe’s guidance!

now as a member of his team Joe does not treat Aisha like the child she is. Not in a ‘you can do work’ way, he speaks to her as if she was a fully emotionally mature and stable woman. This includes sharing his problems with her, all the time. Aisha admits to herself that as the team takes form shes been shoehorned into becoming the emotional cornerstone as the only ‘normal’ human. The fact that she is 13 years old and is explicitly shown to have not aged during time dilation and only ‘matured’ nebulously and experienced most of her time within the workshop makes it worse. She’s also too mature to date a boy her age by word of god apparently.

Why is this guy in his 20s going to a 13 year old about his problems? In her interlude she even directly states she’s using skills she used to deal with her mothers abusive boyfriends to handle Joe.

this is just like, actually sad. Why is the 13 year old the one in charge of managing this adult man who has a licensed therapist’s mental health. Joe does not find this concerning or does not enough to take any measures to stop Aisha from feeling responsible for him or attempting to administer care. When Joe is having a difficult (for him) call with his family who he is estranged from due to his trigger event and traumas involving them, Aisha is the person to check in on him

Naturally Joe’s first and really only concern about this is that Aisha is annoying him by prying. There’s really no attempt from Joe to do anything but occasionally shield her from physical harm. He constantly discusses his issues with her and leans on her emotionally while only really gifting her items. Which is where most BCF fans cry, but she’s getting all that cool tinkertech and personal teaching! I don’t think this terrible relationship should be tolerated just because she’s managed to get some fun stuff. Joe shouldn’t be bribing a child to give him reassurance. This is frankly exacerbated by the giant, insurmountable power gap between them which goes beyond an age difference. Joe is perfectly capable of constantly surveilling Aisha, seriously harming her, altering her mental state (arguably he’s done this before) and a myriad of awful things that Aisha just has to take on his word that he would do. It’s less funny when he jokes about putting nano machines in her to keep her from doing things he doesn’t want her to do when he could at any time.

It’s not a parental relationship, it’s not a mentor mentee, at best it’s a toxic codependency where Aisha is not treated her age and really any positives to this are because the author wants Joe to seem sympathetic despite everything. for Aisha, honestly, this is extremely fucked up

why are you like this, BCF.

[noodyl-blasstal]

Cool, Calm, and Collegiate - Chapter 3

Day 3 of @blupjeansweek and the prompt is Strings!

Read below or on Ao3. Missed yesterday? Catch up here!

-

Lup shuffles the cup carrier to the same hand as the muffin bag and knocks on Barry’s door.

“Yes?” Barry asks.

“Good morning, Dr Barold.” Lup pokes her head round the door.

“Lup!” No matter how many times he’s seen her in the last two weeks he’s always seemed pleased about it. Which is the right answer, of course, Lup’s incredible, she knows this, but not everyone else does. “I mean, er, Dr Tacco, come on in!”

“I come bearing gifts.” Lup brandishes the carrier and bag and sets them down on the desk.

“Gifts or bribery?” Barry levels her with his best attempt at a serious face, which she’s learning fast is flimsy at best. It’s wonderful discovering all the little him-nesses which don’t come across in emails. Sure, she knows Sildar’s coffee order, but now she also knows how Barry scrunches his mouth when he’s thinking hard.

“Gifts!” Lup says as she flops into the visitor chair and attempts to kick her feet up on the edge of the desk, only for Barry to catch them and deposit them back over the side.

Barry raises an eyebrow.

“Gifts to bribe you.” She smiles as big as she can possibly smile.

“Uh huh.” Barry looks wary. Which is probably reasonable after the shaving cream incident, but she maintains that they both learned stuff and had fun, plus she was the one who did cleanup. Lucretia didn’t even really seem that angry honestly.

“We’re learning about force next.” Lup says mildly.

“Uh huh.” There’s a smile nagging at the corner of his mouth. She knew this topic would get him.

“...and I thought it would be good to do a practical example, you know, to help the visual and active learners, because as a teacher it’s important to focus on a variety of different learning styles and engage the whole class.” She nods solemnly, the weight of young minds on her shoulders alone.

“... and so you would like…?” Barry asks, still struggling with the smile.

“String.”

“String?” Barry’s brow knits, perplexed by the concept of woven threads, and definitely not the trap at hand, this was flawless, seamless. Then he gets it. Shit. She knew he was smart, she should have had an extra plan for this. “How much string, Lup?”

“Uh.”

“You’re going to need to know before you ask Lucretia.”

“Much.”

“Many of string, would you say?” Barry asks. “Shall I put that on the forms?”

“How many balls do you think it takes to support the average teenager?” Lup asks.

There’s a long pause. Long enough that she worries she might finally have found Barry’s limit.

He pulls a sheet of note paper from the stack of scrap on his desk and grabs a pen. “How long is the string and what are the anchor points?”

–

Lucretia can’t argue with the numbers. They’re flawless.

She did argue with the health and safety element, but thankfully Barry agreed to be on hand to cast Fly as needed and she relented. Afterall, Lup’s weekly student reviews were flawless (because she was made to do this), and string was cheap. Lucretia couldn’t argue with the fact her resources cost nothing close to what the twins had already requested from the budget - not that she should officially know that, but the students couldn’t stop talking about the flashy (definitely unnecessary) components in necromancy 101.

–

“Barry.”

“Yeah?” Says Barry, somewhere to her left.

“This is so much string.”

“I believe that was what you wanted, much string.”

“Do you think we overestimated?”

“Maybe a touch.” Barry says, emerging from the boxes. “But you got a ridiculous bargain.”

“Garfield’s fine at haggling, but cha’girl’s better.”

“We do, uh, need room for the students in here. Hard to learn if you’re, er, smashed against a box.”

“Pocket dimension?” Lup asks.

“Genius.” Barry’s casting before she finishes talking. “There.” He dusts his hands off.

She loves how enthusiastic he is. Not that she’d really thought there would be too many limits in a school which aims for fun, but there’s always an element of caution needed when it comes to tenured staff. In Lup’s experience they’re more inclined to quash anything which sits outside their prescriptive idea of what should be happening. That or they’ll steal your research. She’s still mad about it, she’ll die mad about it. He didn’t even put her down as an author on the fucking paper. But it’s fine. It’s fine. It’s not like that here. Lucretia’s letting her do spider class. Barry’s helping her make her stupid ideas happen. They’re not here to steal anything from her. She needs to leave the past in the past.

The students filter their way in and look around the suspiciously empty room. It’s heartening to see how quickly they’ve gotten used to her.

“Heeeeeeeelllllllo and welcome everyone to….” Lup spreads her arms to reveal her spider legs. “...spider class!”

There’s at least two whoops.

“Dr Lup!” A hand shoots up.

“Yes Angus?” Lup says, fighting hard not to smile. It was great to have him in her class - especially because he’d originally been in Lydia and Edwards and asked to be moved.

“I thought we were supposed to be doing force today.” Lup learned quickly that these questions weren’t impertinence, he just wanted to know.

“Ding ding ding! Right answer, Ango! And who knows force better than spiders?”

“You?” Angus asks hopefully.

“Well, it’s a half me, half spider hybrid teaching you today. So class, today we’re going to be metaphorically punching gravity in its metaphorical face, but first we’ve gotta learn the theory so we can do it real good. Grab your notebooks, you’re gonna need ‘em!” She’s heartened by the immediate scramble that begins for notebooks and pens.

–

“I can’t believe how many kids you stuck to the ceiling. I mean, I can, I know the maths of it, but seeing it.” Barry’s genuine delight is wonderful to see.

Lup shrugs nonchalantly, as if she spends every day making child catching webs. “Oh, you know.”

“No, Lup. You… they loved it.”

“I mean…”

“They couldn’t stop laughing. They did maths,# and they had fun! You’re a genius”

Lup preens a little, she’s allowed. “Did you have fun too?”

Barry doesn’t even think about it. “Yeah, I really did.”

He gives her a look so soft, so full of admiration, that she can’t bear it. There’s only a certain amount of praise she can accept before she feels itchy about it, she’s never quite mastered Taako’s full bluster mode.

“Right, I think today is macaroni day, would you care to accompany me to the canteen? Maybe afterwards we can go have another look at the equations and see if we can figure out the too many solutions solution?” There’s no way Barry can resist the allure of mac and cheese and research.

He looks right into her soul. “Fine, but I’m going to tell you how good at teaching you are at least four more times.”

Lup rolls her eyes and flounces in the direction of the canteen (so that Barry can’t see the smile on her face).

–

They solve it.

They drink coffee.

They talk.

They talk.

They talk.

They even sit in companionable silence, which, honest, Lup still finds tricky - there’s always the impulse to fill the gaps with a lot of people. She trusts Barry with silence though, he’ll be careful with it.

“Are you going to the social tonight?” Barry asks her.

“Are you?” Lup replies.

Barry looks at her as if he’s trying to figure out a puzzle. “Uh… yes.” He says without any confidence.

“Really?”

He clears his throat.

“Yeah… yes. Yeah.” He says.

“Wow, real keen there, Barold.” Lup smiles.

“Are you, er, will you be there?”

“Yeah, cha’girl’s going. I guess we’d better get ready soon…”

“10 more minutes?” Barry asks, like Lup hoped he would.

–

“Oh, how artfully rumpled, darling! You really managed to make it look like you’ve been wearing that all day.” Lydia says almost as soon as Lup makes it through the door.

“Have you and your boyfriend been hiding in the labs again?” Edward wrinkles his nose as he says boyfriend.

How dare he? Lup and Barry aren’t dating, obviously, but if they were she’d be proud of it! There’s nothing distasteful about Barry.

“Barry’s great.” Lup says quickly.

“Of course, no one said he wasn’t…” Lydia pauses “…great.” She purses her mouth and makes it abundantly clear that she’s an idiot who doesn’t know a good thing when it’s walking down the hall towards them.

Lup resists the impulse to hiss at them, settles for raising her eyebrows and breaks away to meet Barry at the door.

“I like your shirt.” Lup says in greeting.

Barry definitely seems to get slightly pinker than he was before, maybe he walked over too fast. “Thank you. You look nice too… I mean, you look nice… I mean… drinks? Shall we get a drink?”

“Sweet music to my ears, Barry. Lead on!”

He peers round the room, then zeroes in on a table at the back. “Come on then.”

“Oh, hang on. Sorry.” Barry deviates off course slightly. “Hello!” Barry greets Lucretia and a man Lup doesn’t recognise on the way over. “Lup, have you met Captain Davenport? Davenport, this is Dr Tacco.”

“Hello Dr Tacco, I heard about the shaving foam.” Davenport looks worryingly serious, his moustache is so neat she swears he must have used a ruler, and his shirt and jacket are perfectly tailored.

“Hello Captain Davenport. Reports of the explosion have been greatly exaggerated.” Lup hopes her tone is demure enough to hide the pride.

“How about the photographs?”

“Er…” Lup looks to Barry for help.

He shrugs. “Lucretia put them in the group chat.”

“Yeah… it was pretty bad. They learned a lesson though.”

“Honestly, Lup.” Davenport leans in conspiratorially. “I wish I had been there.”

She warms up to him after that.

The drinks selection is fairly paltry, but Lup figures there’s no rules against mixing them into something more interesting.

Ren, from the chemistry teaching team, joins her. “I think the elderflower fizzy thing would go well with the orange and pineapple juices.”

“Excellent choice, would you like that as it comes or on the rocks?” Lup asks, grabbing a spare cup.

Ren thinks about it very seriously. “I think iced will suit the profile best.”

Lup salutes and begins concocting. “Your wish is my command.”

By the time Barry drifts back towards her, they’ve experimented extensively and settled on two menu additions.

“Can I interest you in Lup’s Strawberry Dream or Ren’s Elderflower Orange Pine(bl)a(st)pple?” Lup asks.

“Ren’s what, sorry?”

“Like, pineapple, but also it’s a blast. Also there’s elderflower and orange.” Says Ren, like it’s there’s no possible way for someone to misunderstand. “It’s going down well.”

“It is.” Lup affirms. “I’ve had two.”

Barry looks wary.

“Here, you can try both.” Lup pushes two cups towards him. “Never say I’m not generous when it comes to free drinks.”

“I won’t.” He says solemnly.

–

She’s chatting with Sloane and Hurley and some more of the summer staff when Cyrus nudges her arm. “So how long have you and Sildar been dating?”

“He prefers Barry.” Says Lup quickly, then adds. “And we’re not.”

“Lydia and Edward said that…”

“I’m sure they’ve said a lot of things.” Lup cuts him off before he can even think of finishing that sentence.

“Woah, okay. Touchy! Nevermind.” He steps away from her and joins another group.

–

“We should go sing.” Carey says suddenly. Mid conversation, in fact, but Lup’s not going to get in the way of conversation. “There’s a karaoke bar like, two streets that way.” She points with worrying deftness.

There’s muttered assent in the scutch of people she’s stood in.

Lup looks round for Barry, sees him, looking like a rabbit in the headlights as the plan forms round him. She tries to smile reassuringly. Maybe he won’t come? She hopes he will though. It’d be nice to hear him sing properly, she’d heard him humming a few times and she liked the rumble of it.

“I’m in.” She says.

–

Hey Ko,

You telling me how stupid these are is only giving me more encouragement to write them. They should be getting there daily now, a barrage of out-of-date-news, just for you! (Obviously I expect you’ll be putting them in a scrapbook or something because you love them really, I’m on to you.)

I stuck some students to the ceiling in class today. Barry helped. Well. He didn’t help stick the children, that was all me, baby (via the medium of teaching them how to do it), but he helped me pass the health and safety check. No one got splattered. Everyone learned the most important physics rule “what goes up must come down unless you use a fucktonne of string to stop that from happening.”

All the academic staff are doing a social later, team bonding stuff, but it’s free. The others are pretty nice too, there’s someone called Ren I think you’d like a lot. She’s really into using science in baking (sound familiar?). Hopefully Edward and Lydia decide they aren’t coming, although, honestly, it’d be interesting to see them interacting outside of here. Maybe they’d be more normal? Signs point to highly fucking unlikely though.

Anyway, love you always,

Lup xxxxxxx

-

Thank you for reading! I hope you had a good time. Find the next installment here.

[kinkandkreep]

Yandere!Ao Bing Headcanons- Ancient and Modern verse

So, what can you expect with both Ancient and Modern Ao Bing as your yandere “lover”?

Ancient Ao Bing

Lots of clinginess- Ao Bing is extremely clingy. Like, I cannot stress this point enough, he will essentially be your other half, and not necessarily in a romantic way. He loves to be near you, but even being in the same space as you isn’t quite enough. No, he needs to be like, beside you, sitting in your lap, draped over your back near you. 

Lots of cuddles and affection- Along with the first point, Ao Bing will absolutely drown you in cuddles and affection, every opportunity to do so he gets. He just adores you so, so, so much, and he wants to express it all the time. 

Lots of supervision- Ao Bing (at least in my opinion) always has this look of apprehension on his face, and that makes me think that, as it relates to you, the cause of this look is the fear that any number of things can and will harm you. Because of this, Ao Bing barely lets you step foot outside of y’alls home without him being right there to supervise and make sure nothing untoward happens.

Lots of uncertainty- To somewhat accompany the last point, Ao Bing is a person who is very dependent on the thoughts and opinions of others. Now as time passes and he matures, others affect him less and less, but the need never fully abandons him. And he especially cares about your opinion. With this being the case, you’ll find that Bing Bong can rarely make decisions when you’re around without your input. So, essentially, never. And though he won’t ever ask for it outright, he’ll almost always need you to reassure and comfort him whenever he’s feeling not so confident. 

Extremely mild, almost nonexistent punishments- Ancient!Ao Bing has a godly amount of patience. For most things, but especially for you. This being the case, once he abducts you (and in all likelihood, he will be abducting you at some point) he'll be very forthcoming and understanding of your frustration at your newfound situation. Even still, he knows he can't just let you throw fits and isolate yourself/ignore him, so if, and depending on your constitution, when he punishes you, he does so very gently (and admittedly, probably with a fair amount of tears 🙃). 

Modern!Ao Bing 

A fair amount of sadism- Just from looking at modern day Ao Bing, I can tell he's a bit (or maybe more than a bit 🙃) of a sadist. I could get all into psychoanalyzing why that is but for the sake of brevity, I won't. Just know that he maybe sorta kinda likes to see you in pain, and he also maybe sorta kinda likes to be the cause of it. 

A good amount of spoilage- This may come as a surprise, but Modern!Ao Bing actually really likes to shower you with gifts. From expensive jewelry to precious gems and the finest clothes and dining, if you ask, and even if you don't, he will provide. (You may have to bribe him a lil' with a kiss or two on occasion, but usually he's pretty good about just gifting you things without an ultimatum.) 

Constant supervision- Ao Bing is terrified of losing you. There, I said it. With this being the case, he will always have someone keeping track of you, to 1.) make sure you can't escape and 2.) make sure no hurt, harm or danger has befallen you (😂).

Some sporadic at best- but more severe than his ancient counterpart’s, punishments- Modern!Ao Bing is not shy about the fact that if you step out of line, he will punish you. Not too too severely, but depending on how heinous the offense, you can end up with some bruises not gone hold you. 🤷🏾‍♀️ That said, it’s not often that Modern!Ao Bing can be bothered to actually take the time out of his life to punish you physically, so most times he’ll just throw some scathing words or a dark glance your way and call it a day. 

That’s all I got for ya boi Bing Bong for now y’all! I’m positive I’ll have more in the future, so be on the lookout for that (also, the way I been had these in my drafts for I kid you not like a year and a half at least, is crazy. 🙃) And if you haven’t already and are curious, check out Ne Zha on Netflix to see both Ao Bing’s in action! 👋🏾

[scottguy]

Article: John Roberts’ Secret Trump Memo Revealed in Huge SCOTUS Leak

John Roberts’ Secret Trump Memo Revealed in Huge SCOTUS Leak

There you have it, the CHIEF JUSTICE of the Supreme Court was *eager* to run legal interference for Donald Trump.

He also manipulated the other nine justices in the Colorado 14th amendment disqualification-from-the -ballot case into an unsigned opinion for the appearance of unanimity.

Roberts had previously chosen Alito to write the "Trump cannot do anything wrong as president if it is an 'official act' "ruling. But Alito's brazen unapologetic right-wing upside down flag flying at his home made for bad optics.

It's actually surprising because since when does our now fully corrupt Supreme Court even bother to pretend to care about seeming neutral?

Their decisions are now incompetently reasoned, arbitrary, flouting longstanding precedent (stare decisus) and which are far too overly broad.

Broad rulings are bad and are the opposite of the court's longstanding precedent & protocol for issuing limited scope rulings so as to affect the fewest amount of other important laws inadvertently.

The conservative justices get all huffy and upset when their decisions are questioned in light of all the trips & "gifts" (bribes), the open partisanship, and the above noted flaws in written decisions. They scream that they are legitimate as if they can just will themselves to be so.

It's as if the very FACT of them being appointed to the Supreme Court AUTOMATICALLY washes them forever clean of any suspicion of political bias. They were placed there BECAUSE OF their demonstrated right-wing bias and they know it. They meekly do exactly what they were hand selected to do, which is to thwart regulations and to destroy the wall between church and state.

I can imagine the right-wing six all snickering and smirking in private thinking, "What are you *poor* powerless average Americans going to do about us? Nothing! Money & raw political power anoint us as winners and thus the deciders of all laws no matter how much you want those protections. Power always protects power. So just suck it."

If a law cuts into corporate profit SCOTUS will now find SOME way to say that law is "unconstitutional."

Our entire constitution is designed to prevent too much power in any one branch of government. But the SC is abusing its ideally limited power to hand nearly infinite power to the office of another branch, the presidency.

This is why Republicans block Congress all the time now. They don't want new laws. They're happy to stand back while US Supreme Court nullifies decades of hard-won laws to protect Americans. The corrupt SC does so in favor of capitalist oligarchs and the Catholic religious zealotry they want push on all of us for their own selfish reasons.

The corrupt Supreme Court members need to be impeached, found guilty, and ejected.

Vote blue to make this much more likely.

[luffyvace]

MINA ASHIDO X GN READER

SHES SO PRETTY

AND CUTE

i do gn reader so much but it’s probably fine since it’s inclusive. (i’m gonna do her again with poc/black reader- also imma do more black reader in general ☆)

SHES BEST GIRL

i love her and you do too

she’s an amazing girlfriend

need mental support?

she’s on it! uplifting music, parties and motivation for the win!

need physical support?

she’s got your back in fights

shes got your back (literally) in massages

shes your shoulder to lean on

loves to see you smile and laugh

and blushing too so she teases you

if your just as eccentric as her you two are WILD CARDS

if not—

“come onn! give in to peer pressure!”

won’t give up until she’s convinced you to do whatever she was trying to get you to do at least once

if you’ve got low self esteem she ain’t allowing it

she’ll erase the thought from your brain before you can think it

”what do you mean you weren’t as good as everybody else?! did you see yourself out there?! do you need me to show you the video again?? you did great! you were terrific! a star!”

”i just don’t think so mina..i don’t know, i feel like ___ did way better”

”NO WAY! you are at the top of our class in every aspect and you know it! there’s no way i’m letting you doubt yourself like that so don’t even think about!”

”how can you become a hero thinking like that _____?? heroes are supposed to give people hope! not give up hope themselves!!”

yeah.

it ain’t happening

with how pushy she is, your bound to have a few more positive thoughts

”fine!! you don’t think your strong enough? let’s train then!”

she won’t go easy on you either

”i thought you said you weren’t good enough? if you really think so and you want to be, here’s the training!”

loves you to bits and pieces

whatever your going through?

nu uh.

‘WERE going through’

yall are a team and she calls the shots on that one

but anyways :)

mina is a cuddle bug and will trap you if you don’t give her cuddles often enough

she traps you anyways

sometimes to mess with you

other times because she wants more affection from you

her love languages are ALL

yes. all of the above.

she does anything to make you happy and this is her way of showing it

she really doesn’t expect anything in return either

although she might bribe you

”awww cmon! please? remember that super cool mirko figure that you wanted? that I got you??”

she means well by it i promise

is down to do practically anything with you

she’ll teach you how to dance btw

even if you really don’t want to 😭

gets mad and fake pouts if you genuinely don’t want to learn

shes still coming over for her cuddles tonight tho. 😐

what you thought this was? 🤨

a free for all??

nahh

you gettin this work.

btw-

boy

girl

them

it

xe

xer

YOU COMIN TO THE GIRLS NIGHT.

she needs you there

you just have to be there ok?

ok.

:)

if your intelligent or at least understand the homework your gonna have to remind and help her

if your not and forget as well

🧍‍♀️

“momo we need help with the homewor-“

ngl she unintentionally does pda

its just the fact that she doesn’t pay attention to the people around you

and doesn’t care

she will hold your hand, peck your lips, giving you lots and lots of hugs in public

but she won’t make out with you- that’s for private

if you don’t like any pda

apologies but ya girl is going to keep forgetting

“whoops!”

‘😑’

‘😅’ “IT WAS BY ACCIDENT I SWEAR”

yeaaa..

sure mina

anyway

she’ll want to do self/hair/skin care with you

if you don’t wanna you gotta at least be there while she does

and hopefully sing some songs with her

please?

pretty please?

with a cherry on top?!

why nooooott?? :(

fine! >:(

but if you do..!

WOOP WOOP!!

y’all sing and dance around and do the whole shabang

hyping each other up and all

its so fun

also a really good gift giver

she remembers stuff you say you like wayyyy better than her homework

so she gifts you whenever she sees something she knows you’d like

or wants to see your surprised happy face

she’s just a ball of love

please love her back

she’s not the best at cooking or baking 😭

if you are she won’t stop bugging you to cook/bake

especially bake-

for her and the girls-

lowkey brags about your skills

”seee? i told you ____ can cook really well!”

”____ is amazing! i’d bet on them in a baking competition with sato!”

her room isnt messy she just has a lot of stuff

also she trusts you a lot with her secrets

like you were the first person she told that kirishima had black hair in middle school

she gossips to you as well

even if you don’t wanna hear please listen!

your her partner in crime!

if your really strong and at the top of your class she’ll brag about that too

she doesn’t mean to put anyone down but she’s just so proud of you!

10/10 i recommend as a girlfriend

shes your best friend, lover and soulmate i swear!

stan ashido!!

SHES BEST GIRL!!

SHE’S A OUTSTANDING PARTNER!!

IN MINA WE TRUST!!

hope you enjoyed :)

[object-show-analysis]

Since the new Inanimate Insanity episode has came out, I am SO confused about Nickel and Baseball and how it was mentioned in the episode. If it's okay with you, could you clear it up for me?

I’d be happy to! I can definitely see how it can be confusing so I’ll do my best to clear things up.

A big conflict in this episode was Silver Spoon and Candle vs. Nickel, Balloon, and Bot. When the episode starts, Candle and Silver are spying on the other three. That’s when they learn that it’s Nickel, Balloon, and Bot’s goal to get to the final three together. Obviously this would be bad for Silver and Candle, because that would mean they do not win.

Candle mentions that she knows there’s a tainted history between the team of three (Nickel and Balloon’s rocky past in seasons 1 and 2) but she doesn’t know the specifics of it. However she knows someone who will know the specifics.

Cabby.

The implication we’re supposed to make here is that they’re going to attempt to use this information to drive the team apart, giving them a better chance at success.

So Silver bribes Cabby for a file. Making her feel like she has no other choice but to help him, because he’s offering to save her from elimination

We never see exactly what he asked for. But we do see later that she gave him the file on Baseball. We can assume he asked for information on Nickel and Balloon’s past in some way, because all he knows at this time is that they’ve had a rough history.

Now I think this is where most people get confused on exactly what’s going on. To understand what happens next, it’s important to keep in mind that this is All that Silver and Candle know. They never met Baseball or Suitcase. They never saw Season 2. No one ever talked about what happened between Nickel and Balloon. All they have to go off of are the files, which we’ve seen in the past are full of limited and basic information. So when they open up Baseball’s file and read it, they are given a VERY simplified and description of events that’s lacking a lot of nuance

They don’t understand at all what actually happened. I don’t think anyone would describe what happened as “Baseball and Nickel got split up because Balloon went rogue.” But they’re working with very limited information.

They approach Nickel with this same very limited sense of understanding, trying to convince him to turn his back on Balloon again

And really, it doesn’t work. Nickel comments that baseball always wanted him to get along with balloon, and how he should have listened. And they never actually convince him that trusting balloon is a bad idea.

However two Other plot lines are happening at the same time: Nickel’s Luck, and Balloon’s fear of betrayal

Nickel’s Luck is something he’s been struggling with for many episodes. The gift from Clover has been really negatively effecting him. He makes it clear that he hates this luck. That it makes him feel like he’s not really Doing anything. And when Silver and Candle are trying to convince him to betray Balloon, he responds by saying “none of it is real anyway”

When questioned about this, he says the relationships he’s forming in the game aren’t real, because they’re a result of his luck.

He complains that everything he wants happens. Even the fact that Silver and Candle are choosing to side with him instead of Balloon or Bot

On its own this would have been nothing but a sign of frustration. But that leads us to the other plot point: Balloon’s fear of betrayal

See earlier in the episode Balloon expresses that he’s terrified of Nickel and Bot taking Silver Spoon and Candle’s side.

Nickel assured him at the time that he has nothing to worry about, and that they’ll always stick together. And Balloon believes him at the time.

But he’s still very much present during Silver and Candle’s conversation with Nickel. He hears everything. He hears them call Balloon the reason that Nickel and Baseball split up. And he hears Nickel say that the relationships in the game don’t really mean anything.

Regardless of if Nickel really meant it in regards to Balloon (which I doubt, considering he got close with Balloon Before he gained his luck) or if he was just frustrated, hearing this dug into Balloon’s insecurities and fears. And from Balloon’s perspective, they confirmed what he had been worrying about.

I do hope this clears everything up! This episode was very fast paced and much was left for the viewer to imply, so I hope breaking it down made things easier to understand :)

[imhyperfixatingrn]

It's almost 4 am and I need to vent my thoughts about CodeFlippa (my beloved daughter who can do no wrong)

I have a lot of different theories beacause of the massive mixed signals CodeFlippa gives us. But there are things about her that are undeniable.

1. She's obviously affiliated with the codes one way or another. She might be a code, part code or works for them, not matter what it is they're connected. Source: the fact that she writes with numbers, tps around, and got upset when q!Slime mentioned the codes as his ennemies.

2. She doesn't seem to want any harm done to the residents of the island. Whether it is manipulative or genuine, she has protected qSlime both agaisnt insults and attacks.

3. We can obviously see that she has ulterior motives. She was trying to learn more about the eggs disappearance and broke into the feds office. But, on the other hand she seems to genuinely enjoy hanging out with qSlime and others, and seems to be getting really affectionate towards her dad.

The biggest question of all is; Is she acting? This is the fundamental question. She acts like an egg better than any other code has ever achieved to, and unlikely the codes who have disguised themselves as eggs she doesn't fight, she's more coherent, more present. She acts like an egg, truly. So is she only half code?

I think it is possible that the code brought the real JuannaFlippa back with missing memories and code dna. This would explain why she doesn't know she died, why she has clear motivations but seems so uncertain and scared about what she's doing.

A part of her is just a little girl, the other is a spy. Sort off.

Even if CodeFlippa is 200% a code and is doing all this for ulterior motives she's not necessarily bad. She's done no harm and cares for qSlime.

To me it is very specific that she told qSlime she was scared and that he needed to remember she loved him.

In a way it kind of feels like a message that she knows she's different. And she just wants to be with her dad but the code in her is just pursuing its goals.

It would also explain why she doesn't know or remember leading BBH, maxo and aypierre through the maze. Because she wasnt herself at the time.

I also think in a way this is the codes way of trying to bribe qSlime into joining them. In a book they spoke about wanting to hire Foolish and potentially gifting him a cloud to influence him.

What if this is the same and they brought back JuannaFlippa with code dna to make qSlime happy, for him to join them.

Anyway, CodeFlippa is an angel I support her rights and her wrongs

[androids-insides]

Woah. Forgot I had this.

It’s a while dated, namely because I wrote this after I watched Series 2 and the whole Coffee Theory was going around and I wanted comfort with the ending, etc.

Just getting it out of my drafts, I guess. (Since I’m busy doing stuff)

Good Omens, Final Fifteen and Series 3 Theory

Spoilers, if that’s still relevant??

One of the two questions I always ask people when I want to talk about the show is:

“What of Aziraphale at the end of Season 2,”

and

“Where do you think the story will go in Season 3?”

Im gonna write about the first one 🙃

“What the f&@$, Aziraphale??” Is what I said, verbally, after I watched the finale of Season 2: all of this building on both sides, all of this work and very obvious something between the two, and you up and leave?? “That’s out of pocket, even for you!!” After a lot of valid points from other people, and some looking of my own, I have found a concrete answer on what I think to have happened. (This is all personal theory and not, in any means, factual)

First of, I’d like to say that I don’t entirely agree with The Coffee Theory (the impression that the Metatron spiked the coffee he gave Aziraphale, with something that is controlling his mind, to my understanding) While, if it were the case, I wouldn’t hate it, I just think there’s too many variables that make it seem kind of outlandish. If the Metatron wanted him to be “under control,” I think he would just miracle it. I’m not entirely sure if there’s some rule that angels can’t miracle angles, and vice versa with demons, but Aziraphale and Crowley did miracle “Jim,” which did affect every other angel and demon, so I don’t think it’s impossible. Not to mention that the Metatron is the closest angel to God herself, so he could rightfully do whatever he wants and get away with it. So, why go through the extra steps of putting it in a coffee? It seems tedious, and sort of strange that he’s forcing Aziraphale to make the decision. Like most of heaven, I think his goal is to manipulate, rather than to physically control.

I see the coffee as a sort of bribing point. With my extensive “research,” we’ll call it, in manipulation, I see this as an act to take his guard down and a way to earn trust: Trojan horse your way in. “No one who is evil would offer gifts!” From there, you just offer him what he wants. “He stopped the end of the world last time? Give him a spot in head office. Let him think he’s in charge and can make a change. In fact, let’s throw in some torture, and ironically have him help plot The Second Coming, unable to stop what he has done after he realises that he can’t.” Yaknow, because he’s not tortured enough, or something.

In regards to it being his decision, rather than force, it’s not only a huge notion, but obviously a tragic one, which I think fits better for the narrative of the story. Aziraphale is likely thinking “I have an opportunity to fix the broken. The Second Coming is on its way no matter what, but if I were up there, maybe I could sabotage it? Help them see that this is morally wrong, wether God’s word or not - and I can have Crowley by my side through it all? That’s quite a perk! We always work so well together…” yada yada yada, he trails off on how in love he is. It’s not entirely that he chose Heaven over Crowley, I think, but more so he has chosen to fix the world to a point that staying with him is not a bad thing, as is his nature. He’s looking out for the future. Meanwhile, Crowley is thinking, “This world is ruined. There is nothing we can do to fix it, this opportunity is a trap. Our best bet is to run away - make our own world, where being together isn’t a crime. This is a lost cause, and as much as you want to, the truth is that you can’t fix it.” Yada yada yada, he goes off on how Aziraphale’s quirks and such are kind of annoying, but saying it in a fashion that’s a lot more along the lines of “but it’s so cute,” etc. If only they could communicate, but then there would be no story 🙃

The fact that it is his decision makes it a kajillion times worse, which I believe to be the Metatron’s plan in order to separate them, out of fear of what they can do together, ie. The Jim miracle. With that rocky of a send off, it will likely take a very long time for them to forgive one another, (Crowley to forgive Aziraphale) assuming that they even see each other again.

I’m not sure if I’m being apologetic to either character, or if I’m just making something up to feel better, but I really do think that this is what either of them were trying to get across with saying things like “You can’t leave this bookshop,” “Oh Crowley, nothing lasts forever,” “no, suppose does…” I’m sure we’ve seen enough of what that exchange means to each other from either point of view.

Better yet, I am hopeful that Aziraphale has a plan: I have almost no evidence for this, other than hope and the end credits scene. I really didn’t want to believe Aziraphale to be the sort of being to be more willing to leave Crowley than to leave Heaven, but I did get myself thinking, as I do, and once I got to the credits, I knew that Aziraphale must have a plan of some kind, denial or not. I know for a fact that we can see every thought that goes through his head. He is very facially expressive. In the end credits, when he’s in the elevator to heaven, he switches very frequently between a depressed resting face, to a genuine smile, all lost in thought. He may be excited to have an opportunity to change things, and lead the people that used to put him down, yet depressed that he had to leave his beloved behind to do so. He may be overwhelmed with sadness, but is trying to keep a happy facade because the Metatron is right in front of him, but something really screams “plotting” to me. I hope he’s counting all the ways to burn Heaven into hell and back again. Scheming ways to turn Heaven on itself and to destroy it from the inside out. To return to Crowley, heavy with exhaust and mutter into his arms “God is dead.” Disclaimer, most of that is an over exaggeration. I don’t think Aziraphale would kill anyone unless he entirely needed to. Not to mention that I find the story reminding us that Aziraphale isn’t stupid, and actually makes plans on his own, being placed an episode before the last one to be a bit suspect, but I could just be looking into it too much 🤷‍♂️

When I watched the ending for the first time, I had assumed, purely by intuition, that Aziraphale’s plan consisted very much of Crowley, which is part of the reason he was so distraught when he didn’t want to go. To be fair, I had also gathered that Crowley was the star crossed lover, and Aziraphale wasn’t taking a hint, but that’s unrelated. I don’t have any concrete idea on what his plan is, other than some form of very strategic loophole trickery, which he does often on his own, and has gotten away with every single time without fail.

[viatagrinner]

Gilbert von Obsidian. I want to know the secret you're hiding. Chapter 2.

MC is on Gilbert's assignment to look for a man.

She uses the portrait the prince gave her to look for this man.

Everyone who has seen the picture praises it A saleswoman says she saw this man outside the bookstore where MC works.

Some old man pointed to a bar where stranger from the portrait frequent.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Cafe.

The heroine calls Gilbert's drawings "cute."

Gilbert: ....Hey, Miss Bunny. Are you trying to pick a fight with me?

MC: No! I just gathered the evidence and laid it out based on facts!

The girl meets the prince at the cafe.

On the table are the sweets and tea we ordered, as well as an impromptu portrait of the man she was looking for, drawn by Gilbert.

Gilbert: ...Thanks to you, I can get rid of him. Thank you for your hard work.

MC doesn't understand why he needs help. None of the citizens know that he is an enemy prince. He is a young man with a cheerful smile, there will be people who want to help him.

MC: What kind of man is that?

Gilbert: A secret.

Gilbert: I won't tell you, even if you look at me like that. I won't tell you because you will never be involved.

(I lent a hand without thinking, but I wonder if it's okay.)

The waiter walks up and brings a snow-white cake.

Gilbert: ...I knew you secretly ordered something.

MC: It's your birthday, isn't it?

Gilbert: You remembered.

MC: In many ways, it's unforgettable.

The celebration was different this year. There was less anger.

He's still an enemy prince, but beyond that title, he has a mysterious charm that makes it hard to dislike him.

Gilbert: You never learn, do you?

Gilbert: Just like last year, I can betray/deceive you, right?

MC: Then please don't betray me. This cake is a masterpiece, right?

Gilbert: Ahaha, are you going to use it as a bribe?

MC: That's not what I meant, but... at least let me celebrate your birthday in an honest way.

Gilbert: Hey, I'm sorry for you, partner.

Gilbert: But I will accept Miss Bunny's good will.

Gilbert holds his own fork in MC's hand. He wants the girl to feed him.

MC: What's that for?

Gilbert: Just wait for "Yum"?

MC: ....I don't like it.

Gilbert: Oh, I have to tell you again, don't I?

(I'll do it myself or they'll make me do it...)

There are a lot of people around. And because of Gilbert's conspicuous appearance, she feels like everyone is looking at them.

Awkward. But how can she say no to the birthday boy?

MC: Well, how?

Gilbert: One more piece.

It looks like another gift from the girl: a chance to tease her.

MC feels her face burning as if she were on a date, but the prince was calm.

Gilbert: I wasn't interested in sweets before, but I tasted them in Rhodolite.

Gilbert: Now I like sweets. It's your fault, isn't it?

MC: ...I'm glad you liked it.

(I wonder why Master Gilbert's jokes are always bad for the heart.)

The prince was smiling and cheerful, but suddenly he shifted his gaze to the window.

The atmosphere had changed. The man from the portrait entered the bar.

Gilbert: ...If you've finished your meal, let's go somewhere else.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Bar

The man was drinking alone.

Gilbert and MC watched him. The girl was drinking juice.

Gilbert: Hey, Miss Bunny. Have you noticed anything unusual around you lately?

The heroine wondered. She also wondered. How did the prince know about this?

Gilbert: If you have something to say, then say it.

Gilbert looked the same as when they were at the café, but she was strangely nervous.

The girl dares to tell the prince that she thinks she is being followed.

Gilbert: Hey, is that a stalker?

MC: ... What do you think?

Gilbert: You really are adorable, aren't you?

MC: What?

Gilbert: Yeah, probably the kind of person who subconsciously puts all men down.

(....I wonder if he's teasing me again.)

Gilbert: It's okay. I don't think you'll ever feel the gaze again.

MC: Why? .....

MC: ....Oh....

(....This is weird...)

(I didn't drink alcohol...)

(I suddenly felt sleepy...)

Gilbert: Because you're my only catch/prey.... right?

Gilbert's Masterlist

[thevaudevilledemon]

Cartoon Rap Battle: Brian Griffin vs Shane

Shane

I can't believe the humiliation to log Most beloved Bachelor up against a dog?

Oh yeah, you can talk? What good does that Scooby-dooby-doo? When the last remains of your fandom have left the coop and flew?

Take your Paw, tuck it back in your doggy collar Raise your ear I think I hear Peter tryna holler

What stupid crap is he in now I got half-an-hour Maybe I'll tune in to hear another suicide joke, so dower

You went from straight man to nuisance when you were paired with the baby Overshadowed by Arnold's british cousin, that's no fair Lady

So catch me at the Saloon trying to drown my sorrow Gus has a sale on beer so I'll come back tomorrow

Brian

Woah, Ass Ahoy! You aren't the homeless guy right Did you crawl out the dumpster like a baby at prom night?

When it comes to Alcoholics you should stay Anonymous I'm a Writer, you're a stocker, we are not synonymous

At least I take better care of Stewie than Peter or Lois You know Jas would be better without you and your cirrohsis

Don't bother the blue man, because he's for the birds You know that's the word, everybody's heard

I'm accomplished and nothing more needs to be said Except that unlike you I could be revived from the dead

Shane

That revival was a sham, and you know it's true They dropped that whole plotline after week two

You're better than Peter or Lois? what a low bar And I think that is something which you'd be familiar

You say you're a firm believer in fact When you're nothing more than a sell-out hack

Let what Glenn said haunt you until you expire And frankly you shouldn't be talked down to by Quagmire

Brian

Go to Hell, I stood up for what I believe When you stand up it's all you achieve

You're a slob and a drunk at least I have qualities You're only loved by the "I Can Fix Him" mentalities

Shane

They can't fix me, that's the point of my arc I can fix myself, with their light in my dark

You let yourself be bullied and bribed to shut your face Of all the cartoon pets you're a total disgrace

Brian

At least I am total when it comes to something The people prefer shadow monsters over drunk-y nothings

You drink Joja Cola, though you hate it as a gift Maybe you need something else to give your spirits a lift

Take your blue chickens and get them out of here I'm a non-GMO environmentalist peer

So maybe I should date Emily, she's not your type Stick to bitches like Pam, you're not worth the hype

You wanna do good? Take Jas with you when your wed A pair of shoes don't make up for using your floor as a bed

I may be an animal, but you're the real dog You just faced the badest bitch in Quahog

Shane

Why are you giving me your garbage lines? They're an even worse embarrassment than Peter's Crimes

Don't give me parenting advice like I'm a real villain May I ask about your estranged son, where the Hell is Dylan?

You're a bad father, and the show knows it anyway You make me want to kill myself like you made Hemingway

But between the two of us, I think I recovered better You gave a baby herpes, and hid your own tetter

Oh I'm sorry, you don't know what that word means? You'd have better rhymes if you were a better writer it seems

You're a bad dog, Brian, You've had your day So bring back Vinny and just go away!

[thesmallmeggles]

Meg's (unnamed) Post Canon AU: What Happened To The Bosses?

As fits my personal Post Canon AU, everybody lived. Yes, even the ones who exploded on camera. They did all end up hospitalized: Some in rougher physical condition than others.

Figuring out legal repercussions is making my brain melt, partly because we don't know ANYTHING about Vandelay Island's legal system. (And the fact we have carte blanche when it comes to world building based on the Game Maker's Notebook interview.) My first thought was that there'd be a trial, but after some brief research I'm shelving that.

What I am confident about is taking a rehabilitation approach with the bosses. (I don't have any interest in writing a prison fic, and this is personally more enjoyable for me.)

Once the old bosses recovered from their injuries, they agreed to an arrangement consisting of electronic monitoring, community service, and fines. Another element to this is that the bosses are prohibited from communicating with each other.

Roxanne keeps the old bosses employed at Vandelay Technologies. (Albeit in lower ranked positions.) This stems less from altruism and more from pragmatism because the company needs all the help it can get to rebuild.

With that established, character specific details are listed below. 👇

Rekka ⚡: Production Supervisor. Does physical tasks and event organizing. Required to take anger management classes. She let Chai keep her belt because he earned it. Overall, Rekka is handling things like a BOSS.

Zanzo 🍍: Associate Engineer under Macaron's watchful eye. For the first few months, Zanzo attempted to be a good worker in hopes of regaining some of his Creative Freedom. His community service is web and graphic design for local small businesses, but it doesn't scratch the same itch as building a robot. Bribed a TEC-78 to install a temporal displacement device on the arcade machine so Chai could receive his gift basket. Had to pay his parking tickets and enroll in a financial management course. Zanzo... struggles for a while.

Mimosa 🍹: Social Media Account Manager. She was assigned to the Vandelay Island Community Theater for her service, and became an assistant acting coach at a community theater. (I referenced this in my post about Violet, my self insert OC. But not with this much detail). Mimosa flies no more- the explosion totaled her wings. Despite some bumps along the way, she is doing okay.

Roquefort 🐺: Senior Accountant. Provides financial counseling for Vandelay staff (besides Zanzo) + organizing fundraising events as community service. Also required to take anger management classes. Inhibitor installed to prevent him wolfing out. (Which can't POSSIBLY be overridden 😉) You think Roquefort has a contingency plan?

Kale ☕: For humor, Kale's new job is making coffee in the Café because the machine is STILL broken. (Who knows, he might even enjoy it sometimes.) He got more say with community service, as he volunteers at a pet clinic. (OC & Canon specific - As they serve on different days, Kale and Violet haven't crossed paths. YET.) Frustrated that his SPECTRA AI backup plan fell through. He doesn't have a plan C… as far as anyone knows.

Not everyone on Vandelay Island is content with this outcome. Certain characters believe the punishment dealt isn't harsh enough for the crime. Some may be plotting vengeance from the shadows… 😱