#I think that having a schedule with actual times is better for me than timers

[glowettee]

dealing with a bad grade (part 1/5) 🎀

posted by: glowettee

hey sweeties! ♡ mindyyy here

okay so like… we need to have a heart-to-heart about something that happens to literally everyone - getting a grade that makes your heart sink. i totally get it, i've gotten a less than decent grade before and i felt like my whole academic career, life, MINDSETT just crashed. but guess what? i turned it around, and i'm going to share exactly how i did it. this is going to be a 5-part series specifically for helping you with your grade. <333

let's start with the immediate aftermath (because i know you're probably reading this with teary eyes and a racing heart):

♡ the 24-hour rule this is literally my holy grail rule. give yourself exactly 24 hours to feel all the emotions. cry into your plushies, eat that emergency chocolate bar you've been saving, watch sad tiktoks - whatever you need. but when that 24 hours is up, we're switching into recovery mode. i literally set a timer on my phone and when it goes off, it's glow-up time.

♡ emotional first aid kit grab your cutest notebook (mine's pink with gold stars obviously) and write down everything you're feeling. i'm talking full main character energy here - all the thoughts, fears, and worries. this isn't just venting, bestie. we're documenting these feelings so we can look back and see how far we've come. plus, getting it all out on paper helps clear your mind for the strategy phase.

♡ reality check (but make it gentle) let's break down why this isn't the end of your academic journey:

grade weight check: calculate exactly how much this affects your final grade. sometimes what feels like a disaster is actually just a tiny bump in the road

context matters: was this during that week you had the flu? when your bestie needed emotional support? when your laptop died? write down any external factors (we don't need accountability at alll,) (i'm joking)

pattern or one-off?: look at your other grades. is this a surprising drop or part of a trend? this helps us know if we need a total study makeover or just some fine-tuning

♡ the strategic breakdown this is where we get seriously helpful. grab your planner so we can create your recoveryyyy blueprint:

schedule a professor/teacher meeting ASAP (i know it's scary but professors and teachers actually love when students care enough to ask for help)

review your study methods (be honest - were you just rereading notes and hoping for the best? i do this all the time on my lazy days, it doesn't help...)

analyze your test-taking strategy (did you run out of time? panic? misread questions?)

check for extra credit opportunities (sometimes they're not advertised but exist if you ask!)

look into study groups (because two brains are better than one, and four brains are literally a power squad)

♡ creating your comeback toolkit this is the part where we get super practical (please bare with me):

get a separate notebook just for this subject

color-code everything (i use pink for things i don't understand, gold for improvements, and purple for victories)

start a concept map of everything you need to review

make a list of resources (tutoring center hours, professor office hours, study group times, online study resources, books etc...)

create a daily study schedule (even if it's just 30 minutes, consistency is key)

♡ mindset reset (the most important part) here's the truth: this grade is not your destiny. it's not even your story. it's just one chapter, and you're about to write the most amazing comeback story ever. think of it like this - even the most aesthetic, successful study girls have their off days. what matters is how you bounce back. you have drive and power, and using that to comeback from something that makes you devastated shows your resilience. <33 don't give up on your dreams when something hits you, because it's like giving up on yourself.

tomorrow we're diving deep into analyzing what went wrong (in the most organized and cute way possible, obviously). because just like my favorite quote says (got it from pinterest btw): "every setback is just a setup for your greatest comeback." ✨

remember: you're still that girl. you're still capable. and you're about to show everyone (especially yourself) just how powerful you can be. please don't give up, i assure you, once you comeback and end up getting an A, after receiving that C-, you'll literally feel unstoppable!!!! <333

stay gorgeous and focused! xoxo, mindy 🎀

[study-core-101]

Popular Study Methods I dont like

(By Jay)

A list of study techniques that dont work for me at all. But study methods can work amazing for one person and then just complicate studying more for another. If they work for you, awesome, i'm happy about that. These are my personal experience with them, a lot of people wont relate and thats fine, people are different. But if you relate why these common/popular methods dont work for me, know you arent the only one and that there are more options. People might tell you "this method is amazing, you should do this" and there for you is shit.

Memorazing

Avoid this. When you memorize you dont learn. You cannot conect concepts because you dont understand. One thing is memorazing formulas, which is nessesary, but memorazing everything doesnt work. Understandment is way better. Yes, we need to remember and storage the information in our memory, but memorazing is different. Knowing the theory ord by word is shit if you cannot explain it in different words, conect it wit other concepts or put in practise.

Flashcards

Yep, studyblr favourite study method. Bear with me.

For me, it is a really passive way. When i make the Q&As of the flashcards, i remember the answers. I dont think. I associate the words. And then, when the test has the questions phrased different, my mind goes blank. It seem liked i learned because i remember but i wasnt actually learning.

Now you are probably thinking "use it for vocabulary". That doesnt help me either. Maybe it helps for knowing the meaning in a reading, but writing? I cant remember the spelling. For learning to spell a word i need to write it down. Use it in a sentence. Reading it over and over doesnt do anything.

All-nighters

Oh god, there is nothing worse than an all-nighter. One all-nighter will ruin your sleep schedule for weeks and tired=learn less. Plus, too much all-nighters lead to burn out.

With better time management, all-nighters wouldnt probably exist, or at least, be reduced by a lot

Also, as someone with chronic migraines, an all-nighter'd only give me a week straight with only terrible pain and i prefer failing a subject than that (i'd had to learn the hard way that lesson. always prioritaze your health)

Pomodoro

It's a little bit hypocrital of me to put it here, as I usually reccomend it to others. But personally? It just de-motivaties and stresses me. (disclaimer: it is a good technique, thats why i recomend it even if it doesnt work for me).

I'll explain why. The only way i can do a lot of productive stuff together (or just a long assignment) is to "get in the mood" or have like a "streak". I usually have to power through the first 5-10 minutes of studying and then i get super motivated and do a lot until my brain asks for a break. When the timer rings, it breaks it and i have to repeat the rutine again. It wouldnt be so bad if it wasnt that i work 3 or 4 times faster when i motivated than when i am powering through.

Also, having the self-impose deadline of a pomodoro (i know it isnt technically a deadline, but for some unknown reason, my brain processes it as one) makes me nervous and gives me anxiety. Just knowing the timer is going to go off anytime un-focus me. It's unnesesary stress.

[red-airhead]

| Red | Hwang Hyunjin |

word count - 2,361

oneshot

genre - suggestive, romance

warnings - afab!reader, suggestive (MINORS DNI!!), alcohol consumption, gn terms, reader is a tease, pet names, heavy making out, reader can cook, grinding, lmk if I missed anything.

this was my first smut in a while, so I'm sorry if it's not up to your expectations. Hope you enjoy!

Tonight might have been thought a little differently than Y/N had figured it would be. It wouldn’t have been expected that they’d end up in a white button up with something as simple as red undergarments. It was date night, well, more so it was their first year anniversary with Hyunjin. Him being out all day meant that they had time to prepare for a fancy dinner at home. 

The choice of clothing wasn’t actually their idea however, it was in fact their best friend, who just so happened to be the person closest to Hyunjin, was Felix. How iconic would it be for the two of them to be on the phone while everything was being set out for the evening? Now that the outfit was decided and put on, Felix was watching them run around the house to get everything set out over facetime.

“You know it doesn’t have to be perfect, right? Hyunjin is practically obsessed with anything you do so even if it’s not perfect he’ll still like it.” Felix had said after a fit of laughter watching Y/N nearly fall with a full bottle of unopened red wine. It was true that Hyunjin loved everything that they would do for him, but this was their first year anniversary, they just had to make it perfect.

“Yeah I know but you also have to remember it’s our first year anniversary, I don’t want it to turn out badly. Everything has to be set out and ready, and he has to- Oh! Food’s done!”Their ramble on about how it had to be perfect was cut short by the ding of a timer they had for the food in the oven. They had about an hour left before Hyunjin would get home for the evening, and everything was just barely done.

“Okay, Okay I get it… It’s really sweet that you’re surprising Hyunjin with this though, I think he was so busy today that it was hard for him to plan anything. He was complaining that he couldn’t be home to spend time with you today, it was a little saddening to watch.” Felix had explained, remembering how Hyunjin was all pouty and nearly on the verge of tears thinking about how his partner of all people had to spend their first year anniversary alone. 

“Awh,, Jinnie was complaining? My poor baby, now I really hope he enjoys what I have planned.” There was just one more thing that has never been shared to anyone besides Felix from the both of them. They hadn’t had sex yet, and that was something that Y/N wanted to happen tonight. What better way to get that to start out with a nice dinner with some wine and Hyunjin’s one and only in a shirt he owns with only red and white lingerie underneath?

“Y/N. I’m sure he will, just try and shake of the nerves while you have the time. Get that wine ready and remember what I told you?” Felix had to make sure that they remembered what he had said, and while it may have seemed something to laugh at a little while ago, now it was more serious. “Yes I do, you told me to be confident and to only make the first move when I’m ready.” “Exactly. Now I have to go and get ready for bed, Chan’s almost here and knowing him he’d want to get to bed the moment he gets here. Love you Y/N!” Felix who was currently rooming with Chan already knew his schedule, and how he’d like to sleep as soon as possible.

“Alright! Tell him I said hi! I love you too lixieee!” Y/N dragged out his nickname that everyone used for him, just before he hung up. Afterwards, they immediately put on some music to replace the silence, getting the plates of food ready along with the glasses of wine and a vase full of red roses to top it off. Some face rose petals were scattered on the floor from the kitchen, dining room, and living room. Candles lit all around the place to set the mood and the lights dimmed just enough for the candles to have more of a purpose.

Y/N waited patiently leaning against the dining room table, holding both glasses of wine in their hands. Hearing the front door open they adjusted their posture and hair as much as possible, even setting a wine glass down to check the light makeup they had on before picking it up again and waiting for Hyunjin to walk into the dining room.

“Darling I’m home! Sorry I took so long they had all of this recording to do along with setting out plans for the comeback I didn’t want t- Whoa..” Hyunjin had almost immediately stopped in his tracks seeing the dining room all set up and nicely done. His mouth slightly agape with the sight before him. His partner dressed in his shirt with a perfectly set out dinner holding two wine glasses.

“Welcome home, baby. I wanted to surprise you since you’ve been working so hard. I hope you like it.” Y/N had begun to explain, handing him one of the glasses of wine, pressing a peck to his lips before smiling sweetly at their boyfriend, “So is this why you were taking forever to respond? It looks amazing, my muse.” Hyunjin complimented, nearly leaning into the peck, a free hand sliding to their waist and pulling them closer.

“Well, since you like it so much, why don’t we sit and eat. You can tell me all about your day and then we can spend all the time in the world together. How’s that sound?” They suggested, leaning into his warmth before pulling back and walking to the dining table, taking a seat across from where Hyunjin would sit, “You sure we can’t just skip the food and just spend time together?”

“Absolutely not, handsome. I know for a fact you had very little to eat seeing as no one was there to nag at you for it today. So sit down and eat.” They Mentioned, a finger now pointing to the chair for him to sit, in which he responded with a groan before sitting down and picking up the silverware provided, just before digging in. After the food had entered both of their mouths, Hyunjin almost immediately sighed in delight, a soft giggle following through afterwards. Y/N couldn’t help but do the same, and instead of giggling, they had smiled at the giggle that hyunjin emitted from himself.

“Ugh- It’s so good.. How can you cook so well? I don't understand, this is like above Lee Know’s cooking!” Hyunjin exclaimed, his feet tapping on the hardwood floor in joy, “You flatter me too much, sweetheart, but I appreciate it, thank you.” Y/N replied just before they continued eating. They listened to all of the things that Hyunjin was going on about, and while Y/N had finished their food a few moment ago, now sipping on wine, Hyunjin was still eating and of course the wine being barely touched, about 65% of the wine was still there, and it would be figured since Hyunjin seemed to be more into the food then the alcohol. 

While Hyunjin was distracted, Y/N had begun to clean up the dishes that they used, and when Hyunjin was finished with his, he went in and helped, “So other than the absolutely amazing food that you’ve set out for me, what’s next.” He asked, placing the used plates and silverware in the sink before heading to the living room where they were waiting for him. Y/n was sitting on the arm of the couch, sipping their wine before standing up and walking over to Hyunjin, who was now getting closer to the couch, “Well, the night will lead us to amazing things, so why don’t we just let it take us away?” It was strangely deep, but it was basically them quoting Hyunjin.

Hyunjin chuckled a little at the remark, sipping his wine before sitting on the middle of the couch, sighing as he began to relax and sip at his wine, just like Y/N was doing. It was quiet for a few moments before he had set down the now almost finished wine next to their fully empty glass on the side table. His eyes then fell to where Y/N was standing, who seemed to be thinking for a little bit before walking over to Hyunjin who was watching their every move. Shortly after arriving in front of Hyunjin, eyes staring back at each other, trying to read each other's body language, their hands were gently placed on his shoulder just before they had decided to straddle him.

Something about the tension was unreal now. This was new territory that neither of them have explored. Sure they’ve made out but it’s never been in.. this kind of setting. Other than the music playing in the background it was nearly silent, staring into each other’s eyes for the longest time before the first move was made. Y/N began to lean towards Hyunjin, lips now merely away from each other, “So, are you gonna kiss me or are you just going to sit there?” Hyunjin muttered, just barely a whisper, his eyes fluttering shut as their breaths began to mingle into each other. With Y/N swallowing thickly they smirk just before turning to kiss at his jawline.

A sigh was released from Hyunjin, his head tilting back in just the slightest bit. Their lips pressing kisses at his skin, occasionally nibbling as well. It was like that for a minute or two, Hyunjin letting out soft grunts when there was a specific spot that they kissed. Soon the nibbling became sucking, and shortly after that there were a few hickies laces around, of course low enough that a shirt would easily cover it, but they would definitely be noticeable if someone had most certainly searched for it. 

Shortly after, Hyunjin’s hand went to Y/N’s chin, lifting it to look at him. Their lips were slightly swollen from all the kissing and sucking, but it wasn’t as noticeable so if they went out people wouldn’t take a guess. They stared at each other again before Hyunjin guided them into a kiss, just before they swooped down again and pressed a kiss on his adams apple, “Stop teasing, you might kill me..” 

“Kill you? I’ve barely done anything darling and you’re the one who's hard..” They retorted gently, hips now pressing down onto Hyunjin’s hard-on, their clit gliding against it in the slightest bit, causing both of them to moan simultaneously, Y/N biting down on their lip, “Fuck Y/N, do that again..” Hyunjin replied with a shaky breath, head tilted back onto the couch, eyes shut. 

“What? Like this?” They hummed just before repeating the action, this time much more smoother and slower, another moan releasing from them as their hands ran down his clothed chest. Both of them ended up locking eyes once more before Hyunjin finally took the kiss he’d been longing for since they started. His hands began to desperately grab at their hips, pushing them down against his clothed hard-on, grunts emitting into the kiss. His tongue began to slip past their lips, tongues now dancing against each other as the kiss deepened. A whine had come from Y/N, causing Hyunjin to pull back and smirk at them.

“Something the matter?” He teased, pressing kisses along their jawline to their neck, a hand removing from their hip and now unbuttoning the shirt that they had been wearing all evening. When he was greeted with the sight of Y/N’s lingerie, he nearly let out a moan knowing that this entire time, it was planned, “Holy Fuck baby, you planned this all for me? You are just the absolute cutest person ever..” He muttered against their skin, a sly smirk on his lips.

Moans now getting louder from Y/N as the grinding just got needier, Hyunjin’s lips leaving trails of kisses after the shirt had been removed. Hickies were littered all over their skin and they were sure to stay for a while, “Hngh- Jinnie- That feels so good. ‘S so good baby~” They managed as breathy moans cut through their words. Shortly after those words had been said, Hyunjin was now removing his shirt, only being left in the pair of sweatpants that he had been wearing since the morning, “You’re so hot you know that? The way you look, everything about you is just perfect. And it’s all for me..” 

Lips against lips and more grinding went on for a while, both now a moaning mess from the stimulation and all of the dirty talk. Hyunjin’s red hair color running down his neck and forehead, staring up at Y/N who seemed to be in utter bliss, “You want me? Tell me how badly you want me, angel, I’ll give it to you.”

“Want you so bad, Can I have you? Please? I wanna make you feel good. So so good.. Please baby? ‘ve been waiting- so so long, need to have you now, please?” Y/N was babbling almost nonsense. Of course when it comes to sexual contact, Y/N was weak and sensitive since it had been a long time, but Hyunjin was nowhere near hesitant to the idea.

Hyunjin had just nearly snapped at the sight of them teary eyed and begging him, “Want me that bad? You can have me all you want..” His words almost slurred with lust, kisses continuing to pepper along their body before lips attaching together and making them swallow each other’s moans.

“Gonna make you cum so hard, how’s that sound baby?” Hyunjin hummed, looking up at them who was now looking at him, “Sounds so good, Jinnie. Want it so bad.” Hands were now running along his upper chest, further to the waistband of his sweats and boxers. Who knew this would be a night to remember?

| not requested |

[not-jiraikasa-kun]

For one, you could keep a diary, or some other private place to write down your emotions when you feel them, rather than turning to spamming the person your feelings have to do with. Writing things down helps us process our emotions, and when you've calmed down and are more rational, you can read your words back and try to understand them. What you should not do is not acknowledge your emotions. You have the right to feel, just like everyone. And so it's important to get to the root of the feeling, know exactly why you were triggered in that moment so you can catch yourself the next time you're in that position.

You also should talk to someone you trust about getting help. If you already visit a counselor or a therapist, go more often. It's important to talk your feelings out, as long as they're in a safe and controlled environment.

When your friends get upset with you, wait until you calm down to talk to them. Getting upset yourself only severs ties further. And genuinely try to take people's feedback. Don't take things too personally. Everyone has room for character growth. It doesn't make them bad people.

One of your problems is that you tend to take negative words more seriously than positive ones. It's a disconnect between what people are really saying and what you perceive their intentions to be. You need to earn people's trust, and the best way to do that is to listen to them, and trust them yourself. If someone you love says they don't hate you and that they love you, trust them. How can you expect others to trust you if you won't do the same? Relationships go both ways. It's not too late for you. You might not be able to recover all the trust you lost. That's okay. You can build new and stronger relationships. You just need to be able to step away from a situation when you're upset, and return to it when you're in a better place in your mind. I know you can be logical. It's just that you get so caught up in your emotions when upset that all traces of rationality are nowhere to be found.

The first one works I suppose. But it would still take awhile for me to cool off.

I actually talk to the school counsellor. I just forget to follow the advice. I’m a horrible forgetter

I guess I can try? I get uneasy when I feel challenged or insulted. And reactions aren’t something one can control. And for me, if the reaction is a really strong one, I find it hard to stop. But I can try.

Whenever I feel something strong, it feels like it engulfs my mind. And I get fixated on the thoughts that come from it. It’s extremely hard for em to think straight when I get into such a state, you must understand. I know I may have mistreated those people in the past, and maybe I gave them too much of a burden to bare, but please believe me when I say I regret all of it, and I seriously don’t know how to fix it.

Some of this. I have heard it all before. That I perceive everything as too negative. And even if this is my first time, it’s all just one time advice that doesn’t come with a timer or a schedule for me to keep myself in check. Nothing.

And you may ask “why don’t you just start yourself?” I’M TELLING YOU. I WILL FORGET. MY MIND IS JUST A JUMBLE OF WHATEVER IS HAPPENING. OR WHAT IM FEELING. ANYTHING THAT ISNT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME WILL JUST BE GONE LIKE THAT. IT WONT APOEAR AT ALL. AS SOON AS SADNESS OR ANGER OR ANXIETY TAKES OVER ME, I CANT GET OUT. BECAUSE THE THOUGHTS TAKE UP 100% OF MY BRAINSPACE. AND CAN I HELP IT? NO. I CANT. I HATE IT. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO STOP. I DONT KNOW HOW TO MANAGE MYSELF. I DON’T KNOW HOW NOT TO FORGET.

Forgive me for my lack of manners. Unless you’re here to stay on my blog and give me daily condescending reminders to ‘stop being negative’ and ‘trust people, its a two way thing’, i don’t see why you think your advice will change anything. It’s all in vain. It always has been.

I wish I was better.

Sometimes I don’t.

And either way, I don’t know how.

My situations is different from yours.

And I just want to ask, why do you care so much about me? Why do you take your own free time to lecture me about being better? Who are you? Who were you? And what do you want from me?

[av-royale]

so what do we think about campus 4???

my thoughts below >_<

i initially assumed that everything the devs were building on streams [ex. barbie, vioncii] was for RH3, but i just learned thisll be a whole new campus! with how new RH3 still is [time wise!!!], i was kinda shocked.

BUT… im actually not mad, and here’s why:

i think RH3 was kind of messy from the get-go.

don’t get me wrong, the hype was real, and being a part of the 500+ beta squad was great, but it all felt rushed. the locker courtyard was pointless outside of quests. ‘class’ was completely optional. running dorms, esp on mobile was a trainwreck, and dorm decoration was broken beyond belief. it was unoptimized, chaotic, and honestly, boring at times, especially in the beginning, being able only to run 1 quest at a time. then, it all came to a grinding halt and updates beyond seasonal events ceased.

after grinding out 300+ levels [often by being bad and using the game as an idle timer for things like chores shhhh], the game itself started to feel more like Chores Simulator than magic school. people have nothing better to do than grind and haze new players.

i think returning to the old system [that is, a 1 map, day-night cycle schedule system] and starting anew will definitely help RH when it comes to general enjoyability. the player connections and ease-of-play from everyone being on the same page were what made the game what it was. and the minigames!!! i love rh2 potions. as in. still do. and i miss dressing up for the ball. anyway the progress and concepts the devs have shown look great, and i cant wait for RH4!!!

thats my 2 cents. whatre yalls thoughts on RH4?? is it a mistake or a massive improvement?

[grison-in-space]

Okay, so: I've mentioned that I have service oriented tasks in mind for Matilda, but I haven't actually talked a bunch about what I'm aiming for. In part this is because one of the biggest things I would find supportive doesn't seem to be a Thing at the moment.

Generally speaking, I need an executive function support dog. I think I can make this happen without overtaxing my dog, but I'm getting stuck thinking about what I want to teach and how to chain it, so I'm going to think out loud for a minute.

So: autism, ADHD, constant masking, and an objectively stressful ten years in Texas (fire! flood! school stabbing! literal abandonment! we have them all!) has left me with some burnout problems. I dissociate a lot and I need to figure out how to train that as an alert, but especially in the evenings I tend to get stuck. Most of my coping techniques relied on either stores of energy I largely just don't have or on anxiety over consequences to serve as a motivator. While I can still do my job pretty well (thanks, hyperfocus!), I miss a lot of care opportunities (things like: consume lunch. Drink liquids. Take afternoon meds). And I can tune out anything at this point.

I have found that there's a distinct sensory component to this, though: visual and especially tactile stimuli work way better than auditory ones. It's just that there isn't really anything that can do a mix like that right now. I've rigged some things to help but it's not ideal, and I've passively/accidentally trained every previous dog I've had to sit outside flailing distance and subvocalize until I get up anyway; surely it should be possible to teach a dog to help with this. Say, by progressing from a touch or lick to a nose punch to crawling into my lap to lick my face on a timed cue.

By the way, friends, you lose shit in burnout. Learn from my mistakes; try to mask less, fuck. I have a lot of grief I'm still processing over things I did ten or fifteen years ago that I can't do today; my capacity is just so much lower than it used to be. I am on an upswing--the move helped a lot, just getting away from Texas, and the new job environment has been helpful, and so have some med adjustments... but I'm not as fast or as hard driving as I used to be, and there are some things I won't get back.

Anyway. Plans. Public access groundwork is actually not worrying me too badly at this stage: we're working on dog reactivity, foundations, and settling, and she sees enough weird places I'm not too concerned about now. But it's the tasking pieces I'm hung up on. I have thoughts, at least, for the dissociation alerts and grounding part of the problem: I know how I hold myself and how I don't move in certain ways when I'm dissociated, and "touch" shaped into licking my hand or nudging me is something I can use for that.

But what would be really helpful is setting alerts for Tilly to go into Pester Mode on a timer. I think I can use a phone timer for this, probably, although I would really like it if I could make Gcal notifications work as a cue to set timers to. I can use "human stands up" as my stop cue for the behavior, and the start cue is of course the timer itself. Once summoned by the timer, I know what I would like her to do.

I'm just sort of stuck on how to go about starting this. I do not want to invoke Pester Mode without the timer, and I would ideally like Pester Mode to be reliably turned off if I stand up. I do not want to trigger Pester Mode for anyone but me. I can think of like half a dozen ways this task could go hideously wrong.

It's just that it would be so helpful if I could program a bunch of very specific reminders based on my Gcal schedule and then have a stubborn little dog break any hyperfocus and help me transition into a new behavior at those periods. Unfortunately, now that Matilda is old enough to begin thinking about beginning to shape the beginnings of this, I find myself stuck. What would you do, dogblr?

[rayleeschobel]

I think I hacked my brain. (Working at home rant)

For anyone who doesn't know, I graduated from art school back in May. I've been super lucky to be able to work on that full-time since then, with the hopes of getting a foothold in the industry by spring of 2025. But one of my biggest struggles with this has been consistently working throughout the week and actually getting things done that need to get done. I'm frustratingly susceptible to getting distracted by scrolling Instagram and Tumblr, and that's made way too easy by the fact that I set my own hours and am my own boss. The worst part is that, being self-employed, any time not spent actively working is directly translatable to not earning money. Not like a desk job where you get paid by the hour, whether you're working on something or getting distracted.

I had gotten into the pattern of only working for maybe 3 hours a day and feeling guilty about not working throughout the rest of the day. I knew that my ideal would be working 6ish hours 6 days of the week, since I don't have the capacity to work an 8-hour work day, but I also have no problem working on weekends. Last week, I tried a new work system that was a bit more strict, but also incorporated forced rest time to alleviate the guilt I felt when I wasn't working.

The schedule isn't too crazy, but it's been working for me since I started it. The bare-bones and ideal version of it is that I start working at 10am, then do a 3-hour work session until 1pm. Then I take a break until 4pm, where I'm not allowed to do any art-related work. Somehow, not being allowed to work also helps me not get distracted by my phone, and I've been really good about using this time to do chores around the house, read, play video games, or watch something from my ever-growing watch list- things that actually make me feel rested rather than just distracted. After the break, I do another 3-hour work session until 7pm, after which is more no-work time for the rest of the day. The times I work aren't set in stone, and the real goal for a day is to hit those 6 hours of undistracted work.

I think one of the things that have made this work so well for me is also gamifying the work hours. I use an app called Focus Traveler, which is just an app that has some cute graphics and tracks focus time. I work in 1-hour chunks with the app and use short breaks in between those hours if I need to get a snack or a coffee. It shows me my focus time on a given day, and I consider my work day done once I've hit 6 hours on the app. (I basically just modified the pomodoro timer method to better fit my working process.)

Anyway, I don't have any real point to making this post beyond feeling like yapping about figuring something out that seems to work for my brain and body. I hope this might help you if you're looking for ways to get things done that you have trouble working on :)

[hahahahawk]

I want a fake person to live in my computer. But not like that.

The neurospicy coping/productivity technique “body doubling” is about seeing someone doing your desired activity helps your executive functioning circuits let you also do the desired activity.

I’m not a scientist about this, I just have a wonky brain that responds well to this (but not working in an open plan office, go figure (that probably has to do with agency and consent, but this is a derail))

Today I tried a utility/tool/“game” called Spirit City: LoFi Sessions. You get an avatar in a cozy apartment, and both avatar and apartment can be customized. You set the lighting/time of day and tell your avatar where to go (“on the bed”, “at the desk”, “on the window seat”, “by the fire”) and what to do (writing, typing, gaming, drawing, meditating, knitting (as a knitter, I judge the knitting animation “not bad”)).

There are lofi-chill out music playlists in the “game” and rudimentary productivity tools like a todo list, a habit tracker, a pompodoro timer, and a “journal” feature.

The gamification is earning coins (by logging in, having the app open, and using the productivity tools) to buy different furniture/clothes and following hints to find new wacky pets.

I’ve spent about 15 years obsessing over productivity tools and techniques, so that side of the utility did nothing for me. I pay for Spotify, so the included music did nothing for me (the songs were pleasant, but repeated too soon for my liking, and I wasn’t interested in manually switching the playlist every 40 minutes). Dress up/decorating does nothing for me.

Needless to say, I got a refund pretty quickly.

Well, I did… but not without some hesitation because holy shit the body doubling aspect did something for me. At a few junctures in the hour-ish I had the program open, I looked over from my main project, saw my avatar typing away at their desk and thought “hell yeah, we’re getting stuff done” then went back to my project without doing any random googling or checking social media.

I considered keeping the “game” just for that aspect, but

The window didn’t fit well on my vertical monitor

The avatar wouldn’t change tasks/take breaks without my input

I would *so much* love to have a CG avatar in the corner* of my screen that would have its own pompodoro timer and mostly spend 5 hours typing on their laptop in a variety of locations, but also model “get up and stretch/snack/drink water” for me.

The interaction I’d want to have with this avatar:

Patting them on the head to tell them they’re going a good job.

I do *not* want that behavior reciprocated to me because I refuse to be complimented by inanimate objects (or people who don’t know what they’re ‘complimenting’)

Them suggesting I take a break whenever they do

Me notifying them when I start a break/get back to work. (I do a lot of flow state work and usually prefer flexible breaks rather than scheduled ones)

I will accept feedback (and data exports) about my working/taking a break patterns

—-

* I think the large default window was both a blessing and a curse for Spirit City. It allowed the avatar to be big enough to feel like a person in an environment instead of a stick figure in a box. But I don’t actually have a lot of screen real estate to give over. So it’s be nice if the program handled being odd window sizes better.

Anyway, Rusty’s Retirement is an idle game that doesn’t scratch the body double itch (though it might if you identify as a robot), but it is a calm farming game that is designed to only take up a strip along the bottom/side of your monitor and it’s been much better for my productivity. It’s great for the occasional quick hit of dopamine (bring it to the front, plant some crops, queue some bot upgrades, put it away again), and also useful for short breaks. On those longer short breaks, I make larger functional and aesthetic changes to my farm, but it generally takes less than five minutes to catch up/run out of content. After that I’m generally ready to jump back into work, and if I’m not it’s usually a sign I need to stand up and take care of some other needs.

[nor7us]

Really struggling with this.

My Problem being that i wake and stand up incredibly inconsistently. There seems to be no pattern, even relating to my bedtime, of when I actually stand up.

Going to bed, I really struggle with revenge bedtime procrastination. Most days, I go to bed at like eleven, but 12 is no exception. Every morning, my alarm rings at 6:40; which is partly a relic from school where i had to stand up 7:10 latest. And in school that worked. After the initial alarm, I would continuously set 3-5 min Timers on my phone, until I felt ready to get up.

But now in University; there is no fixed schedule. I have to get up at 7:00 mondays and 8:50 Fridays, and all other days of the week it does not matter. This leads to me being like: oh yeah i dont need to set a 5min timer, I can just get up later because I am still sleepy. So I get up at 11, which of course ruins the whole day of studying. In the evening, I usually have by far my most productive phase, which leads to me studying late and going to bed late. Of course this continuously shifts back my sleep schedule, up until twice a week I either have 5 hours of sleep or face consequences for being late.

This is shit. To fix this, I tried to just set a hellton of alarms, so I don't have the option to not "hit the snooze button" (set a timer on my phone) but instead of bettering myself, I completely laid off the reflex / mechanic / habit of setting said timers. Meaning that I ignore all those alarms, and when I tried going back to setting timers I just straight up did not in my sleepy states.

Little improvements are hard. Going to bed very consistently is hard, and ruins your social life. Setting the goal of getting up "5 minutes earlier" is great until you realize: 5 minutes ealier than what? I go to bed at a different time each day. Sometimes there is schoolwork or similar in the way that just has to be done.

I feel like I am missing the point here; "Think smaller" they said, but what would that be and how would I measure it?

Life is hard without an authoritative figure that throws you out of bed if you overslept.

Life is hard as a person, whose sleepy self has no self control, but also does not (rarely) have to fear consequences.

Life is hard.

Do I even want to be a student right now?

here's some more unsolicited adult advice as someone in her 30s who knows there are a lot of twenty somethings and teens that follow her: if you're trying to build a new habit you really want, and are struggling, you have to break it down to the smallest building block possible. If you're failing, you haven't thought small enough. I know it's possible to hear stories of people who just snapped into new life mode one day by "just deciding", but truly what's happening there is a confluence of events and experiences that force the brain into some sort of epiphany. You cannot will an epiphany. It'll never work. For most times of your life, you will need to build habits intentionally, and that means not working against yourself and to set micro goals. like laughably tiny goals. because once that easy tiny goal is met, you can build off it, tiny goal after tiny goal until you reach your big goal.

so for example, if you want to be a morning person that gets up at ass crack dawn so that you can work out, eat brekkie, shower, and get to work at a leisurely pace, and you're not that person because you will hit your snooze button 800 times, you have to get the big picture goal out of your head. think smaller. "I want to get up 15 minutes earlier than I normally do." If you can't do that, make it 5 minutes. "I want to cook breakfast every day" hell no too big. "I want to eat something, anything, before I leave the house" hell yeah, fantastic. When you go to the grocery store to make sure there are things in the house for breakfast, if you keep buying bagels and microwave sandwiches that you ignore, you gotta think smaller. SMALLER. What's something so easy to eat that you'll never say no to. Is it a yogurt? Is it a handful of grapes? Is it a hostess ho ho? is it hot cheetos? FORGET the big picture of the fantasy put-together woman preparing a full nutritious meal that you'd be proud to admit to. Think only of the smallest goal you can achieve. If you know you can't say no to an ice cream sandwich, put a ton of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer and have one for breakfast every day until it's so instilled in you that you gotta get up to eat something you can start diversifying.

It sounds like, from the lack of habit place, that must take forever. But really it doesn't take too long to form the habit once the discipline kicks in. the trick is that you have to give your brain something easy to become disciplined to. If it's too hard, think easier and smaller. No one has to know. Literally no one in the gd world has to know that for 4 weeks when you were 22 you had an ice cream sandwich for breakfast every day. who cares. If it gets you eating oatmeal with fresh fruit in a few months who cares. you did it, yay. smaller, easier. if you can't do it, think smaller and easier. smaller!! EASIER!!! You are not thinking smaller and easier enough. break your brain thinking how small and easy you can go. SMALLER. EVEN SMALLER, SIS.

[maxtalksalarmclocks]

Spotlight: GE 7-4654A

There are going to be moments, in writing a blog designed to appeal to some cross-section of the general public, when I am going to home in on something so random, or obscure, or unappealing, that my readers are going to go, "What?"

And I think this alarm clock, which will not at a glance set hearts aflame, falls into that category. But I was reminded of this clock's existence last night, and I do need to show it some love. So show it some love I shall!

There are three things about this clock worth discussing.

(1) The interval timer

If you look at the front of this clock, you'll notice a big round button labeled "Timer." I originally thought this was a nap timer, which you use if you want to lie down for 30 minutes or an hour or so, and be woken up without having to switch your alarm time.

But then I looked at the options listed to the right of the "Timer" button. 4 hours, 6 hours, 8 hours. Most of us don't take naps for 8 hours. (That's kind of just...sleeping.) So this probably isn't a nap timer.

And indeed, it isn't! The packaging for this clock calls it an "interval timer," and describes it as "ideal for medications or other repetitive activities." Someone on eBay shockingly has the original box for this thing, so you can review that language yourself below!

For an extremely narrow use case (medications), the interval timer is the perfect feature! If you have medications you have to take multiple times a day, like every four hours, you can set the timer to 4 hours and be notified each time you need to take your meds, without having to set the alarm each time. If I am correct in assuming that the "Off" button shuts off the timer when it sounds, you probably don't even have to turn the timer back on for the next go-around!

(The only thing I wonder is if the timer has a provision to stay off during the night, or if you have to turn it off at the end of the day and back on the next day. If only I could see the instruction manual, but alas, none is available online.)

I kind of can't think of another great reason to use the interval timer. Maybe it's useful for remembering to get your steps in? Or to eat, if you get so wrapped up in tasks that you forget? I kind of have trouble envisioning these things happening on such a rigid, regular schedule that the interval timer would help. But maybe it's better than nothing!

Whatever the use cases, the fact is that I don't know of any other alarm clock with an interval timer like this one. (The closest thing is the Neverlate Executive, which I keep meaning to do a post on and has like a hundred zillion features, including alarms that can go off multiple times a day for medications or other things.)

Any alarm clock with a feature I've never seen before is a friend in my book!

(2) The "nite lite"

This is far from the only alarm clock with a built-in night light. (The RCA RPC100 has one, and so do the Sony ICF-C743 and ICF-C763, and so does the Nickelodeon TimeBlaster...) But it's just rare enough of a feature that I love seeing it, especially on a clock that already has another rare feature (the interval timer). Two slightly-funky features is just enough to send me over the edge!

The creatively spelled "nite lite" is located underneath the creatively spelled "snooz" button, which emphasizes the button both when the light is off (because it has a white translucent cover) and when it is on (because it's literally glowing!). I feel like this could be handy if you want to snooze in the morning and (for some reason) can't find the snooze button by feel. Just hit the big glowy thing!

The "nite lite" is controlled via a switch that is right next to it (we love when controls are arranged logically). You can turn it on, or off, or set it to auto, which means it lights up when the alarm sounds (per the packaging).

And because this clock is too old to use long-lasting LED bulbs, the bulb is actually user-replaceable! There's a cover on the bottom that lets you swap it out, and the packaging says that a "spare bulb [is] included."

(3) The design

I know, I know. This thing is not, at a glance, the epitome of design. It's got that deeply unappealing and dated dark plastic, paired with a fairly unattractive red LED display. (And all of the pictures show it covered in grime and schmutz, which doesn't help. To be fair, it didn't come that way from the factory.)

But take a look again.

(Yeah...still not pretty. But I'm not trying to convince you of that! Just keep reading.)

I love how this clock is divided into zones. The display is paired with the dial scale for a radio (also a kind of display, in a sense) at the top of the clock.

The display and controls are arranged in a relatively uncommon layout I've discussed before (so it's not that uncommon, I guess) where the controls are below and in front of the display. I honestly just love this layout, because I feel like the clock is literally extending a hand (or, well, a lower half) and presenting its buttons to the user, inviting them to try it out. There's just something very welcoming about this layout, as opposed to putting controls on the top or front or other more traditional locations.

The display helpfully has an indicator to tell you when the battery backup is about to die. This was a pretty rare feature on older clocks! Rather than naming it something silly like "Battery Sentinel," this clock calls it the slightly more tame "Battery Monitor."

Before we move down from the display zone to the buttons, I want to acknowledge the decorative white lines across the display zone, which are the first of several futile attempts at aesthetic appeal. At least they tried, y'all.

Right under the display zone is a row of five buttons, "Hour," "Minute," "Sleep," "On," and "Off." Then there's what looks like a large button, but actually it's just a label, telling you this is a "Clock Radio" with a "Nite Lite" and "Timer." (Cool beans.) I do like how the display zone flows into these buttons, and how the label almost tricks you into thinking it's a button. (The tiniest element of quirkiness on an otherwise buttoned-up machine.)

And indeed, this clock is buttoned-up, in that it uses buttons for a lot of features. (Push-buttons, as the packaging notes. The only kind of buttons there is!) Most clocks of this age have dials or switches for turning the radio on, or entering the alarm-setting mode, or turning the alarm on. But this clock does it all with buttons, and I think it makes it far more intuitive to use! I've never seen the instruction manual, yet I suspect I know exactly how this thing works.

Under the row of buttons, there are two big round buttons that seem important. And they are! They are the "Timer" and "Alarm" buttons. Each has three red LEDs next to it, which is both perfectly symmetrical and a little bit futuristic. (It's like the console of a rocketship! Sort of.) The "Timer" button has LEDs for each of the available timer intervals. And the "Alarm" button has an LED for "Set" mode (presumably where you set the alarm time), and for "Music" and "Alarm" modes (presumably where the alarm is set to play the radio or buzzer, respectively). I love how easy this makes the alarm to set, and I also love the little "Off" indicators that aren't actually indicators, but actually just printed labels that continue the pattern. It makes it clearer that you press each button repeatedly to toggle through the four possible states.

And then you've got your "Nite Lite" switch and "Snooz" button, which I've already discussed! I love that all this clock's features are visible from the front. The timer, the night light, the alarm settings, the radio. Nothing is hidden, and you know exactly what this thing can do! And you've got a front-mounted speaker to seal the deal.

Not much goes on on the sides and back. The left side has a "Lo / Hi" switch, which I assume is for display brightness. The right side has a band switch for AM/FM, plus analog dials for radio volume and tuning. I like that all the radio controls are clustered on the right, near the dial scale and speaker! Even the "On" and "Off" buttons, while on the front, are on the right side of the buttons.

There's just nothing confusing at all about this clock and how it works! It presents all the controls to you, they're all large and clearly labeled, and they're arranged in groups (the radio controls, the "nite lite" switch next to the light itself, and the "timer" and "alarm" buttons with indicators right next to them). The only thing I'm still unsure of is how you set the time. There's no time-setting button, but I think maybe you just press the "Hour" and "Minute" buttons when the alarm-setting mode is off.

Blah, blah, blah!

I definitely keep doing this thing where I include a photo, and then I write all the details of the photo in text, even though you could notice them by looking at the photo. But I have fun walking through all the lovely details visible in the photo, and I hope it calls attention to things you wouldn't otherwise notice as well!

I think this whole clock is one you wouldn't otherwise notice, in a thrift store or an electronics shop or (as sad as it is to imagine) the trash. (Honestly, that is sad to imagine. I can't collect alarm clocks because they would overrun my house, but I don't want them being lost to time either! At least I'm collecting memories of them here.)

But back to my other point. This clock is unnoticeable, yet it's secretly kind of cool! It has unusual and smart user interface design, plus an interval timer I've never seen on any alarm clock, plus a night light that makes it a little bit friendlier. Despite its slightly off-putting exterior, this clock, at its core, is a delight. It's a classic underdog story, and I'm glad we can give this machine some attention today.

See you soon!

Image credits:

eBay, eBay, and one more eBay listing I don't have the link for

One more photo for preservation's sake:

[an-act-of-will]

Episode 5-Still here, and still writing

Thanks for tuning in to your regularly-scheduled writing journey podcast, An Act of Will. I’m your host, Sydney. Let’s get started.

First off, I’d like to thank you for being patient with me while I get this whole ‘podcast’ thing down. It’s been a little slow writing-wise lately because I’ve been working a lot at my day job, and when I’m off I just need to decompress because it’s just a lot. But this is what I’ve been up to.

In the Village, I finished off two scenes after I re-read them and found out that they were actually done, and not just kind-of done but need tweaking like I thought. So that was really encouraging. That’s one of the reasons I like the way I’ve set up my document right now- I can write little scenes and get the dopamine boost of finishing little tasks on the way to a huge task.

I also started reading through what I’d written again, taking notes along the way. I’m still in the process of that. I needed to do that because while I did leave short notes as to what preceded missing scenes, I only had vague descriptions of some. I legit have like ‘add romance scenes’ or ‘add more clues’ since it’s a mystery, but no ideas of what to add. So I thought reading through and taking more detailed notes would help. I only allowed myself to summarize or add brief notes in the margins, not edit directly. This way, I don’t get bogged down in details when the whole story needs work. That’s a practice that’s just good to have, separating drafting and editing. They require completely different skill sets, so trying to do both will bring nothing but frustration.

Before starting my work on The Village, I’ve been keeping up with my Ray Bradbury Challenge. Sort of. I’ve read three stories, essays, and poems and written one short story so far. Not exactly a lot, but it’s more than what I had and that’s always something to pat yourself on the back for. I haven’t exactly been sticking to the ‘read one of each every single day’ or ‘write a story every single week’ but it’s what I can do when I can do it. There’s nothing wrong with lowering the bar. It’s a challenge you’re doing to better yourself, so changing any arbitrary rules or adapting it to better suit your needs is always a good idea. If anything, you can always up the ante or lower it, depending on what you need. When you see your hobby as a chore you dread, it’s time to either take a step back or stop taking it so seriously.

That’s about all I’ve done in the time between last episode and the recording of this one, but I have a few days off so I’m hoping to get back into at least reading The Village again. If I do more, that’s awesome. If not, my expectations are manageable.

Since this update is so short, I figured I’d share some more of my process with you. For a long time I didn’t have a process, but around the time I started seriously thinking of ideas for this very podcast, I figured it was high time I made one.

The first step I did was figure out why I wanted to have a process. And the honest answer is because I want to finish projects fully so I can actually get them done.

The first thing I do is I organize my tools. First and foremost is my laptop, which I use to store all of my writing. I write digitally the vast majority of the time because I can type faster than my hand can move with a pen. Maybe I’ll handwrite a book in the future as a challenge for myself, but that’s far in the future if I do it at all, so yay for current me.

Next up is my Forest app on my phone. Forest is a productivity app that I love because unlike a timer, you can see your progress. You set a specific time, and at the end of it you grow a digital tree. You can see your progress through the day as it tracks, and you can also go back and see your weekly, monthly, and yearly progress. I’m one of those people that can like look at a timer and not feel like the time is ‘real’ because when the timer goes off, nothing happens but an alarm. I try to do a 5 minute warmup using just a regular timer because my free Forest app doesn’t go that short, then a break of like 2 or 3 minutes, and then 15 minutes of work. I try to work on a single project, but if I get inspired I write a few notes to myself on the side. Sometimes it’s physical, sometimes in my phone, sometimes just in a new document in my Scrivener file.

Next is candles. One thing about me is that I love candles. Lighting candles and having a nice scent is something that makes me feel like I have everything put together. I even have separate drafting and editing candles. My drafting one is sea mist and my editing one is coconut. I’m hoping that will act as writing triggers in the future since scent is one of the most powerful memory triggers.

Next is tea. I solely drink black Lipton because I’m a basic bitch. I also fix each mug with an ungodly amount of milk and sugar so it no longer tastes like tea, so there’s that.

Next is pen and paper. I know some of you are probably thinking ‘wait, didn’t you say that you type faster than you write?’ And yes. Yes I did, because I do. But using pen and paper helps me almost ‘unlock’ certain parts of my brain that don’t get stimulated by a computer, and it’s an awesome way of getting ideas out without worrying if they’re quote ‘good enough’ unquote. Sometimes I need a different method to get my creative juices flowing, and pen and paper is the way I do it.

This is a weird thing that I do rarely, when I’m really and hopelessly stuck- a rubber duck. I know, I know. But I read somewhere- and it may not even be true- that people who code software use them to talk out their problems in the code. There’s something about verbalizing blocks can help you work them out, and no one is available to listen to a writer talk 24/7. So a rubber duck is something that acts as a way to talk at something and get your thoughts out. I tend to record my rubber duck sessions so that I don’t have to remember every breakthrough.

Next up is star stickers. I found the method through a YouTuber named Alexa Donne. The point of the star sticker method is that if I’m a good noodle and write for 30 minutes, I get a shiny sticker. I get that star sticker for every 30 minutes I write. I also get a star for every thousand words, so if I do both I get two stickers. I know, it’s a little juvenile but sometimes you have to treat yourself like a kid. Plus, everyone I’ve ever met likes stickers. I decided to use it to my advantage.

After I have all my tools in place, I open both my current project and my free writing document. I use the free writing document when I’m stuck, and often it can start to shake things loose. If it doesn’t, I turn to either my physical writer’s notebook or the rubber duck

To write, I used to use Google docs, but since I heard tale that they’re using documents from there to teach AI, I stopped and moved exclusively to Scrivener. Is it a bit more inconvenient because I no longer have an app at my fingertips when I have an idea when I’m out and about? Yes, but I also have a notes app on my phone and can write things in there. Anything to disrupt the attempts of corporations to use AI to make art instead of humans. And that’s not me being ‘anti-computer-progress’ or whatever, it’s me doing my best to preserve people’s livelihoods and stop corporations from being able to use computers to do their jobs. Artists of all kinds deserve to be paid fairly, and AI is only hurting them. So I’m 100% against AI created so-called ‘art’.

That’s my process so far. I’m sure it will evolve and change as I do as a writer and human. And that’s something to embrace rather than fear. If something isn’t working like it used to, don’t be afraid to do what I always do- chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on. Having to find new tools can be overwhelming, but once you do it makes your life a lot easier. And who doesn’t want an easier life?

That’s all for this episode. Thanks for coming with me on my journey through storytelling. I have a Tumblr at an act of will with hyphens between the words if you’d like to keep up with me there. I will see you in a month. Until then, I wish you well and happy writing.

[clairethecutepup]

Weekly Update: 5/8/23 - 5/13/23

Creative Work:

I'll admit it: I just had to drop everything and make fan art of C2ndy2c1d's "Assassin AU" for the Ed Edd n' Eddy series... I'm sorry, when I saw the mother and the Kizuki of the spider family, in Demon Slayer, the puppeteering and cutting threads just reminded me of the alternate Sarah and Jimmy. So, I had to draw fan art of them replicating said slicing and puppeteering. I'm doing the "bases" traditionally, via pencil-sketching, and utilizing my lightboard and glue to overlay cut-out "pieces" for an easier outline completion overall. Trust me, better to draw over illuminated notecards than to sketch overlapping features on other parts...

To be honest, part of me is screaming at myself over not using the "faster" tablet of mine to make the bases instead; but then I scream back at that part how I hate doing sketching digitally, and I only ever wanna digitally draw when it comes to outlines and coloring. I know, I know, doing the sketches digitally allows for easier manipulation and all, but it just feels easier to whip up a pencil "base" and do the fancy-pants digital stuff after scanning it. Perhaps it's the fact that with DIGITAL sketching, I also had to basically draw everything TWICE: not just the basic shapes, but the hair/eyes/etc. as PART of the base, then tracing over it all for the final outline? I dunno, with simple, blank "bases" on traditional paper, I can easily just draw the fancy-pants digital lines only ONCE while outlining everything...

As for Getting Your Goat, the first chapter image is almost completed, too: it simply needs to be colored in and have the appropriate lettering added. That'll be my next priority, once I get that fan art image out of my head and onto paper/file.

I'm also still enjoying some "writing practices" on the side, particularly another EEnE themed one. Honestly, it may technically count as a "series" at this rate, given the consistent factors... The main characters of interest always seem to be Sarah, Jimmy and Claire (You, whenever the 2nd person POV isn't changed); each "entry" has some focus on characters learning an overall theme of being better to others/yourself; and some other things. But still, it's something meant to improve writing abilities for actual "mainline" stuff from me. Still, I'd recommend seeing if you simply enjoy it as a fan fiction fan, if not to critique it.

Personal Life:

So far, I think I'm seeing results from exercising during the weekdays, instead of saving it all for a back-to-back session on the weekend. Of course, that could also be the factory work helping shape those calories into muscles. Nothing like an after-work workout, with some fun cartoons to serve as your "timer" with their overall runtime. Don't forget the 2 minute "rests," though!

I've also heard word the factory plans to switch to a "9-4" schedule: 4 days of 9 hours, with the addition of only 4 hours on Friday. I'm hoping to use that to my advantage, somehow, when it comes to creative work and all. I can already plan ONE idea of how: no more overtime on the weekends~, so plenty of time to do stuff then.

Misc.:

I'm thinking of just getting rid of my traditional monitor and keeping my tablet as the unofficial "gaming/creating laptop," made courteous of my wireless keyboard. Seriously, you find some good stuff at thrift stores-- referring to the keyboard, though, no way you'd find something like the drawing tablet I have now there...

Also, it's amazing how, even as an adult, you'll still feel fear toward certain characters in animation... I don't think I'll fully get over my anxiety of Brak, the space cat pirate, and even Sarah and Jimmy can still be a bit intimidating. ... What? Sarah is undoubtedly stronger, no matter how ripped I'd get, and Jimmy can be a cunning fiend. I'm not ashamed to admit, I felt a bit anxious and terrified the night I went to the wiki for the unnofficial EEnE "sequel," titled "Peach Creek," and read he'd be a rather conniving individual. I dunno what it is, but I've a strong fear toward helplessness, and they can be a duo of outclassing brain and brawn. Those "Assassin AU" versions of themselves up the antae, now that Jimmy's supposed to be as physically capable, and the duo's main gimmicks are puppet strings and equally physically manipulative acupuncture. I know, I just deserved to have an inquisitive eyebrow raised at me, at times...

[thebibliosphere]

soooo I’m finally watching Marie Kondo’s Netflix show in an attempt to motivate myself to clean my room, and while a lot of the tips seem like things that will be good for my ADHD and anxiety, the homes she looks at are... kind of already clean? Like, no dust, no trash, no dirty laundry, no spiderwebs. There’s lots of clutter, but not a lot of actual dirtiness. And especially with my worsening depression, I’ve been trying not to think about how bad my room is for so long that there are Actual Cobwebs in a couple corners. I know I’m an extreme exception, but if you had any tips on how to tackle that aspect, I would fully appreciate it

 Marie Kondo is less of a “clean your home” show and more of a “keep it organized.”

It’s also important to remember that no matter how real the people are, parts are staged. Because I guarantee you, some of those houses with the amount of clutter that is in them? Will absolutely have dust, cobwebs, and mold problems. We’re just not being shown them.

But that doesn’t mean you also can’t use Marie’s techniques to actually clean.

I’ve talked before about removing the lid from the laundry hamper helped ETD actually start putting laundry in the basket instead of on the floor/any flat surface. What I’ve yet to talk about is how that in no way helped us keep on top of doing laundry. The thing that really helped us was buying multiple cheap laundry baskets (this kind) and sorting our laundry out as we got changed. For example, there are three laundry baskets lined up near the door in our bedroom. One has t-shirts, another one has underwear, and another has, like, pants and jeans and shit. They serve both as visual reminders that we need to do laundry and help with pre-sorting laundry. Once they get full to a certain point, it’s time to do a laundry load.

We’ve also got baskets like these for towels, kitchen things and bed linens. Everything just goes into visible baskets, which can, if necessary, be stacked and shoved into a closet if company suddenly comes over. (Though that doesn’t happen so much these days.)

I also use spare hampers for doing 15-minute-pick-ups, which is exactly what it sounds like. I set a timer for 15 minutes, and I pick things up from places where they don’t belong and throw them in the hamper. So, for example, Holly’s toys and blankets are currently scattered all through the house. If I want to dust, vacuum, and clean, I will walk around the house picking her stuff up and putting it in the hamper, clearing a path for me to do the other things I need to do without worrying about organizing a space for her stuff. 

Another example would be my work desk. My work desk is currently covered in everything from my work printouts, bills I need to pay, medical gear like my blood pressure cuff, all my charging cables, multiple books, some of Holly’s toys, and for some unknown reason, four measuring tapes. If I want to dust my desk, I will put everything in a basket, wipe the surface down, then pick out the things that belong on my desk. Like the printouts and the bills. My desk is now, in less than 15 minutes, dust-free and organized. But Joy, you might say, what about the things in the basket? What do I do with those? Easy, keep them in the basket and take them to where they do belong. But what if the space they belong needs cleaned? Rinse and repeat, take your basket to the next space, clear everything into the basket, clean the area, then put back the things that belong. Congrats, you may have just cleared multiple spaces. And if you run out of energy in the interim? That’s okay; it’s better to have things contained in baskets than scattered everywhere across your house. It reduces them down to smaller problems and reduces your visual exhaustion from clutter, making tasks easier for ADHD brains in the long run. (This also works for other types of executive dysfunction. Visual exhaustion is a real problem for brains that are already trying their hardest.)

So, now you’ve got things sorted into manageable piles, what do you do next? You prioritize what is necessary for your space to be safe and sanitary. Cobwebs might be gross looking, but they’re not really an issue compared to, say, actual trash or dirty dishes that might be molding in your space. Remove those things first. Set another 15-minute timer, pick up as much trash as you can, and put it in a trash bag. If the timer runs out and you’re still good to go, set it for another 15-minutes, or keep going until you’re done. I find music helps. I’ve actually tricked my brain into realizing that dishes take me 12 minutes (instead of the literal hours my brain thinks it is), so for me, that’s 3-4 songs from my favorite band. Other people like to watch “clean with me” videos on youtube. They can be quite motivating, sort of like second-hand dopamine from watching people be productive.

 Once you’ve sorted one major task, assess how you’re feeling. Are you tired and need to stop? Great! You’ve achieved a lot already; well done. Have a sticker and or reward of choice. Tomorrow you will do another 15 minutes of something else, and slowly but surely, your space should become more manageable and less intimidating.

Think you can do more? Also great! Let’s maybe try to get the dishes next. After that, I’d suggest tackling the cobwebs, then dusting, then sweeping/vacuuming, and then if necessary, mopping the floor. And I don't mean all at once, I just mean in that order, just so you’re not having to go back and dust again.

I try to do 15 minutes of housework every day in this fashion. I also keep a rough schedule on our fridge and tick major tasks as we go. So did I do laundry this week? Yes! Excellent, gold star. No? Okay, well, that gets priority next week. (Still gold star for what I did achieve, though.)

It helps keep things manageable while also not being Too Much for either my ADHD or my physical disabilities. For some people, that 15 minutes is too much, and I would say even doing 5 minutes a day is better than none. Anything you can do to keep your living space safely habitable for both your mental and physical health is good and worthy of praise and pride.

Anyway, I hope some of this helps and wasn’t too long! 

Take care and good luck!

[edenstorm]

an open letter to tgc.

(aka, this wouldn’t fit in the discord character limit lmao)

I’d like to preface this by saying that I’ve been a fan of TGC for a while now, since Journey in 2012. I’ve had a huge appreciation for the effort that goes into your work - it’s honestly changed my life, and I do not say that for the sake of saying it. Truly, thank you.

However, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend with recent updates to Sky: CotL, and one that suggests an underlying issue that really concerns me. Based on what I’ve seen around I’m not the only one a little worried, so I figured I’d send something like this for the first time - I’d like to at least get it off my chest, because I have a great deal of respect for this company. If I didn’t, I’d just walk away.

I don’t think you’re at all in touch with the desires of your playerbase. In fact, I think you think you know what we want more than we do. Furthermore, it’s beginning to feel like you think we’re… stupid, for lack of a better word? Oblivious, at the very least. It’s infantilizing.

For me, it started with the whole TS debacle a while back - where you just so happened to bring back the two highest demand spirits right alongside an extremely limited high-demand 200 candle item. It would be clear to anyone looking in that this was a deliberate push to candle sales, but you still insist to this day that the TS is randomized. I found out after I made a post expressing my frustration (thinking that this was a unique case) that there are people out there who have been reliably predicting the TS for some time now, with an accuracy that would not be possible if the TS was truly random. It’s just… such a silly thing to lie about. I suppose it takes some heat off of you when people don’t get the TS they want, and it allows you to schedule expensive or desired TS at opportune times to push sales without scrutiny, but it comes at the cost of the trust of players who find out - which, to me, does not seem like a good deal. Trust is infinitely more costly than community contentment.

Next was the AFK timer. You did, at the very least, beta test it, and put it back in your pocket when people weren’t happy… but then you quietly added it into the main game later despite the backlash. Candle taxi-ing wasn’t completely killed, but it did put a significant limit on it, and for what purpose? Because people weren’t playing your game how you wanted them to? Because it meant marginally fewer sales?

And now there’s the heart limit. This is a kick in the knees to everyone, but most especially to moths and people who only add friends within the game. Hearts are already a difficult thing for most players to get enough of for base game cosmetics and holidays, and now you want to make them… more difficult? You’re locking a significant portion of your playerbase out of parts of the game because they don’t play the game exactly how you want. You’re making a certain playstyle mandatory, which, rather than fostering friendships and community, is going to drive players away.

Overall, it just seems… obstinate. You’re acting like the kid at the playground who won’t let others play with the toys you brought unless they do exactly what you tell them to. When you release a game, people are going to play it in ways you did not expect or intend. Unless outright harmful or destructive, I don’t think that should be punished. The best games will work with their players and not against them, and this latest heart update is antithetical to what the playerbase wants and needs.

If anyone actually read this, thank you. I hope you have a nice day.

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

A Secret Leak: (Holiday Special that takes place in a bubble outside of its canon)

The snow was falling down in thick clumps as opposed to soft flakes, the wind was howling like a rabid animal, and the moon which was wearing a santa hat was glaring down at them in spite of the festive timing. Luckily, everyone was safe and sound inside the large mansion which was once Wilson's.

While inside the warm, busy kitchen, the place was lively and filled with music from one of the few working radios and chatter from the chefs and other guests, in addition to the sounds, the place was filled with the heavenly aromas of cooked turkey, potato latkes, freshly baked cookies, homemade mac and cheese, cinnamon applesauce, chocolate cake, freshly baked and buttered rolls and other dishes made by almost too many cooks.

"I just finished frosting the cake- Oops! Careful there, miss Betty!"

"Ah! Sorry-"

"Hold on, was the oven timer set for the spinach puffs or the batch of gingerbread?"

"Excuse me-"

"Watch out! Hot oil coming through!"

"NOT THE SINK! DON'T POUR IT IN THE SINK!"

"Pardon-"

"Ew! Who put the ink hearts in the stew?!"

"If you would kindly let me pass-"

"That's Stevie's recipe, not yours! Don't throw it out over some stupid heart chunks!"

"Thank you-"

"Hey! If that needs to chill, put it outside, the fridge is full!"

"Sorry-"

Betty managed to squeeze her way past the crowd of cooks back into the hallway, letting out a sigh of relief that she wasn't squished like a sardine anymore. There were many pros and cons the living doll was experiencing when it came to having a full house holiday party, while she was happy to get to talk to other people who have enough sanity and vocal chords to communicate with, but as someone who had only spoken with one or two other people at a time, a mansion full of them was very overwhelming for her. But still, she had to do her job as the host and make sure everything was running smoothly.

She checked the Kitchen and from what she could tell it was running... ...Well, better than it usually does actually. All the entries, appetizers, side dishes, and desserts were all slightly ahead of schedule and aside from the occasional oddity, all of them looked and smelled delicious and perfect.

As she checked other parts of the mansion; in the foyer, the guests were calmer due to the lack of the busy air of the kitchen, but they were still lively. Some of them decorating Wilson's makeshift prison like a christmas tree while others were telling ghost stories around the fireplace (They also appeared to be roasting giant socks filled with candies and oranges for some reason.) and a third group were playing some sort of gambling game with an odd-looking top and chocolate coins.

"A few of the appetizers will soon be served, and the musicians will be playing their songs at five." She informed the three groups who gave thumbs up as well as their varied vocal chatters of approval.

"Betty!" Wilson called out from inside the festively-decorated cage. "What are you doing?! Stop with this nonsense and get me out of here!"

"I'm terribly sorry, but I can't. You're still in jail for attempted genocide as well as other horrible things. But I can fetch you a plate or two if you want anything."

"...I'm good." his expression soured at the thought of eating anything that was prepared by those cultists, or the toon wolves who would lick the cooking utensils with the food still in it, or the dreaded ink demon. Oh speak, or in his case, *think* of the little devil... "What is he still doing here?! We're supposed to destroy him! Not put him in tacky christmas sweaters and let him parade about as if he owns the place!"

"Well if you must know, the new master of the house invited him himself." Betty sighed.

"For the last time... That mad, self-proclaimed Explorer and that squeaky, childish mess of a lost one do not own this place!" he huffed in annoyance.

"But they have the deed." Bendy interjected, his eyes narrowed at the man. "And nobody really opposes to them owning it, aside from the guy who's supposed to be in creepy weirdo jail."

"Oh I bet it took you a long time to come up with that 'brutal' comeback..." he rolled his eye.

"And how long does it take you to come up with good plans? Sixty years? Eighty?"

"Why you little-"

"Okay, that's enough of that, Wilson, you stay here-"

"Not like I have a choice.." he interjected bitterly.

"-And Bendy, would you like to accompany me for a bit? You seemed very curious about the locked doors from what I could see."

"Uh.. sure.."

The imp nodded and followed the doll, down to the wine cellar, she had originally planned on bringing the wine up last, but she knew that Wilson could probably be less insufferable to the other guests with a bottle..

...The last thing she and Bendy were expecting to see was the Projectionist creeping about.

"O-oh dear, I forgot he was invited... and that he has a body now..." she murmured as she hid behind one of the smaller barrels.

"...Is he carrying a pickle jar..?" Bendy whispered.

"I... believe so?"

While the two were still hiding, he looked around and placed the pickle jar among the bottles of wine before seemingly leaving. After waiting in silence for minutes that felt stretched into hours, the pair hesitantly left their hiding place and Betty grabbed the nearest bottle of wine, which happened to be placed in such a way that grabbing it as quickly as she did also caused the pickled jar to topple to the floor and shatter, leaving a mess of pickles, broken glass, and pickle juice everywhere.

The two flinched from the sudden loud noise and when they turned to leave they were blinded by the light of the still-whirring projector, Bendy screamed and hid behind Betty while the doll was frozen in fear...

But in stark contrast to the projectionist's typical behavior, he gave Betty and Bendy an Ink heart each and then just.. left.

Still shaken with the strange yet benign encounter, they headed up to the piano room where the band was tuning their instruments and warming up their vocal chords.

"Good evening Gentlemen, Ladies, and Searchers, how are you enjoying the party?" Betty greeted them while Bendy just waved.

"I've never been much of a 'party person', but it has been lovely- Ah! My lord! It's a pleasure to have you visit us before the show." The inky figure wearing a horse skull as a mask bowed to the imp.

"...Pleasure's all mine, Proph.." Bendy nervously chuckled as he stepped back from the mad musician. "What's with the skull? In fact, why are most of you dressed up like... that. I thought there was a 'no creepy cult stuff during the party' rule."

The prophet as well as a few of the other musicians who may or may not have also been cultists laughed at what they assumed was a joke, until Sammy saw the imp's expression.

"Oh, so you're not joking.." he cleared his throat. "While they're not exactly the most popular in America, it's Christmas tradition to have people dress up as christmas monsters; Mari Wyld, Krampus, the yule lads, Belsnickel..." he listed off before shaking his head and getting back on track. "Most of the time it's to scare disobedient kids into behaving for the holidays. The stick to Santa's carrot if it makes sense. But in my case, after the official show is over, I'm going to sing to the party, and if no one sings back to engage me in musical warfare, I am going to steal all of the alcohol in the mansion."

"I highly recommend against doing that," Betty warned the ink monster "several of the guests are rather high-strung and would want a glass or two to calm their nerves."

"If they want it, they'll have to sing against me. Yule time's rule."

"..Okay then. Enjoy your Holiday."

The imp shook his head and left with Betty following him, the two heading into the repaired library, which was still the hotspot for Keepers for the most part, but right now Wilson's former guards were all either setting the tables or engaging in some of the party activities themselves. Which left the empty library the perfect spot to unwind from the craziness.

"I swear the more I learn about Christmas, the less sense it makes..." he shook his head.

"I completely understand. When Wilson explained it to me, there was still a lot I needed to wrap my head around. The decorated tree, the stockings, the lore of Santa Claus and his magic reindeer... It really is a lot to take in to try to understand, especially all at once, I strongly suspect most of our guests grew up with or around this stuff so it makes sense to them, but for people like us..."

"...It's like a weird, giant inside joke we're not in on." he finished with a sigh.

"Precisely that." Betty nodded. "Although I do find it odd that you're also on the 'outside' of their inside joke, did the cartoon not have Christmas specials?"

"No, we had 'winter specials' we had episodes about snow, cookies, and that stuff, but there was nothing that ever directly involved Christmas and I think it's partly due to Henry's influence, he didn't celebrate it and just tolerates it." the demon shrugged.

"I see.. I'm dreadfully sorry that it's all shoved in your face like this now, Wilson might not seem like the type, but he is a bit of a festive season fanatic.."

"It's fine" the imp chuckled. "But hey, some of the other ink creatures celebrate different winter holidays, so why don't we make up one of our own? Our own inside joke of a holiday none of them understand!"

"That sounds delightful." the doll smiled.

[phdmama]

Congrats to you, @thehoneybeet! That's so great, and I always think the more ideas the better!! So yeah, 100% cosign, get those accommodations!

For me, it was really tough to finally acknowledge that my ADHD is, in fact, a disability, but once I started to integrate that, it helped me to 1) offer myself some grace when things are hard and 2) realize there was no way for me to just power through it, and I'd never ever expect anyone else to do that!

So, this will be a bunch of rambling about things I think about and things that work for me - hopefully there will be some helpful things!

For general life:

Self-care on the fundamentals. Getting enough sleep (earlier), taking my meds, eating well, exercising, taking down time (this can be hard in grad school because there always something else to be doing haha so I think it's important to actually put it on the calendar, so you know you have permission to be just hanging out or relaxing or whatever). Connecting with people who love you. Connecting with people who are there to support you - therapist, coaching, tutoring, whatever might help.

I think it's useful to get a good sense of where your particular struggles manifest. For me, initiation and time management are really big struggles. Once I'm on task, I can usually keep going (hyper focus haha) - but switching is really tough. I'm one of those "I have to do something at 2 so I can't do anything until then). So here are things I do.

I rely heavily on schedules and alarms. I put everything in my google calendar and I put alerts on all of them - as many as I think I might need. I also really need the visual, so until I went back to work, I wrote the week's schedule on a whiteboard on my fridge, but now with me working, my whole family life got more complicated so we now have a spreadsheet we fill out every Sunday with who needs to be driven where and who gets which car, as well as planning out dinners for the week. I make a grocery list based on that plan and we've been sticking to it pretty well. (I literally print it out and color code it).

Timers are super helpful for me when I have a set amount of time for one thing. I am working on training myself to just respond to it. Like, I might have 10 minutes in the morning to read, so I'll set the timer, which lets me relax and just read, trusting the external scaffold. I also do this in meetings and stuff at work, so I know I won't lose track of the time.

It's important for me to build habits. My work badge and parking pass always go in the outer pocket of my backpack, so I haven't lost it (so far). Keys always go in my little purse that goes either in my backpack or hangs on the bannister. I know I tend to be careless and like, my brain is always ahead of my body so I lose stuff, misplace stuff, so building in structures for where stuff goes really does help (shoes always go in the shoe rack, that sort of thing). I've used the Tile in that past and now I use find my... more than I wish I had to, but it helps! I lay out workout clothes so I can get on the treadmill first thing in the morning (the only time I really have for it).

It was really helpful for me to figure out where I get derailed and be realistic about what I can and can't do. Like when I was driving my kids to school every day, I realized that I get really thrown off when I have to leave the house and come back, so working on ways to reduce the time I spent noodling around before getting to what I need to be doing was helpful. I really want to to be writing and I'm trying to figure out when my brain isn't too tired and when I have time. It's a work in progress for sure.

For graduate school. I think so much of this is the same. Knowing what you need for productive working conditions. Do you need music? No music? Do you have a dedicated work space? Do you need one? When I was in phd school, I literally wrote 85% of my dissertation at a Starbucks, somehow it worked for me. I've gotten much better about being able to work at home, but I never used to be able to. I also think this organizational stuff is so good. I think putting everything in your calendar, or using a paper calendar, or whatever might work for you is necessary. I put deadlines in, and I also put the along the way deadlines - when is the paper due? What are the parts of it that I need to do along the way? Setting those deadlines and figuring out how to carve up your time. Are you someone who does better with setting a time (like 2 hours on this project) or a task (write the intro and start the lit review etc). Like, I would print out blank monthly calendars for the semester, and then put all my deadlines on them and post it on my wall so I could be checking in every week, and look ahead to things like those weeks where you have a paper and an exam and a project. So knowing where I'd have to get stuff done early (which is... not my forte).

For me, as well, medication has been a really crucial tool. I take Wellbutrin (for depression and the ADHD), guanfacine (which I take for Long Covid but happily is an ADHD med) and I have a prn stimulant which really does help. I don't take it every day, but when I really need to focus, it definitely helps.

A thing I've had to work really hard on is the cognitive flexibility of assessing as I go and adjusting. My brain can be really rigid, and realizing that things might work sometimes and might stop so I need to pay attention. And back to that whole, offering yourself some grace.

I really do recommend checking out what your campus has for both academic supports but also counseling. I spent years working in college counseling centers and let me tell you, I'd be DELIGHTED to have a grad student come in at the beginning of the semester to work on all of this stuff proactively! That's what they're there for!

Okay that's probably WAAAAY more than you wanted! I am so happy to be a support if you need one as well, feel free to message me if I can help in anyway!

Ok. How do you manage to write/work/have a PhD with ADHD? I'm about to go back to grad school and fully in the struggle. Truly, any tips appreciated!

Oh pal! I wish I had a better answer for you which is that I wasn’t working full time when I was writing a lot - I was either working part-time or in school! So now that I’m working full-time, I’m trying to figure out how to write something more than a vignette!

That being said, I have lots of strategies for managing a busy life with ADHD, so if those would be helpful, let me know!

Also congratulations on grad school!! What a huge accomplishment!! ❤️