#I think of this constantly just the purity of the feelings I have for my friends and the other way around
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I just realized that every LADS men is based on elements
Sylus
Underworld and darkness.... which actually balance with this rival thing going on with Xavier .
Even in his myth man gir imprisoned in an Abyss , in current timeline he kinda rule over the N019 zone that considered like a place that sunlight never reach , hence underworld and darkness.
Zayne
Cold mountains ... we all know Zayne evol is ice and in both of his myths he lived in the mountain.
In Foreeser myth, the tower of thorns was perched high on cold mountains.
In master of fate one too , Zayne lived in cold mountains.
Rafayel
Deep sea.... but also fire .
Rafayel evol is fire but he's also the ruler of the deep sea (which I am sure is cold asf) .
When I first got into Love and deep space fandom I thought his evol would be water manipulation but I was surprised it was fire .
I feel like Rafayel character is not only based on water but rather balance between fire and water. This makes me think he also has to find balance between his love for MC and his desire to restore his homeland.
Xavier
Xavier's one is light .
My first impression of Xavier was that I thought he looked like if the moon and the stars had a baby .
Even in his appearance, his color palette, Xavier kinda represents purity and hope with the white , silver and blue color (but my man is far from pure ) wich contrast a lot with Sylus because he's considered tainted and impure . (The parallel between those 2 are crazy) . And also light is often considered as pure, Godly even unlike the darkness.
And also since stars live out for long that would explain Xavier's age . Same with Rafayel, water last long but it constantly change form (it evaporates , solidifies and liquefies just like Rafayel who dies and reborn over and over )
Caleb
Caleb is based on the sky (I might be also wrong about this one because we don't know anything about his past life yet) .
But if you look at his background
Aerospace aviation graduate
Gravity evol (that can hold you down or lift you up )
Living in Skyhaven (that are literally island lifted up in the air)
But there seems to be Adam and Eve lore behind his story but I have feeling that Caleb is Eve .
He's the only who eat apples
He's the one who made deal with Ever (probably the snake)
So he's either Eve or the snake himself trying to corrupt MC (even if after reading his myth I realized MC might be worse than him )
Well that's all. Those are just my speculations. I actually love Lads lore so much I could spend hours talking about it but nobody would listen to me so 🤷🏽♀️ I post about it here
#love and deep space#love and deepspace#lnds#lads#Rafayel#love and deep space rafayel#Caleb#love and deepspace caleb#Sylus#love and deep space Sylus#Zayne#love and deep space Zayne#Xavier#love and deep space Xavier#lads Rafayel#lads Zayne#lads Sylus#lads Caleb#lads Xavier
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Theory of Love Romcom Rewatch Episode 1: Dear Dakanda
Yesterday I watched Dear Dakanda for the ToL rewatch project and unsurprisingly, spent the whole time facepalming over Mhoo. The movie looked gorgeous, and the cinematography constantly put me in my I Told Sunset About You feels. Yet it was clearly evident that Third had learned all the wrong lessons from this movie, as @lurkingshan pointed out here. The movie follows Mhoo as he makes his way through college, while pining for his best friend, Dakanda, the whole time. He chooses to never speak of his desires and ultimately gets his heart broken when Dakanda starts dating. As the movie ends on an ambiguous note with Mhoo emphasizing how his friendship with Dakanda will never change, I couldn’t help but notice the romanticization of pining, the implied purity of choosing friendship over romance, and how it affected the friendship that Mhoo (and Third) hold so dear.
Both Dear Dakanda and Theory of Love looks like a friends-to-lovers narrative on the surface, but I propose that it is actually a pseudo friends-to-lovers narrative. Mhoo and Third become infatuated with Dakanda and Khai from the very first moment they meet them. Third accepts and enjoys Khai’s friendship, while simultaneously watering his affection for Khai in secret till it’s rooted deep in his heart. This colors every interaction between them, because the parameters of relationship that Khai and Third are operating under are very different. Khai thinks that he is just ditching his dudebro best friend to go spend time with whoever is his Girlfriend of the Week, but for Third it serves as yet another painful reminder that he is never gonna be as important to Khai as Khai is to him.
The show even underscores the difference by having Khai genuinely cross a line that is egregious, by heterosexual male friendship standards. When Khai gets caught by Third after he cancels plans to watch Toy Story 4 together, and instead takes his new girlfriend to the movie, Khai apologizes to Third the next day. Because he knew that watching all the movies of the Toy Story franchise together was an important friendship ritual, especially for film majors such as them, and that it was a real dick move to violate that pact.
Third’s pining causes him undue pain, because his actions when it comes to Khai are not in line with what a friend might do, but rather what a lovesick fool would do. When Khai asked Third why he threw his girlfriend’s stuff in the trash after Khai had asked him to return it to her, a friend would’ve immediately told him that she was the one who told him to toss it all in the garbage. But what did Third do? He stood there and let Khai scream at him, then slinked out to the garbage cans, retrieved the box from inside the trash can, came back in and gave it to Khai, and got the door shut in his face for good measure. Good fucking god.
I am not overlooking Khai's abhorrent behavior in this episode, I felt extremely uncomfortable watching how he treats Third like a doormat every chance he gets. But I will say though, Khai could take Third for granted because Third let him, from the very beginning of their relationship. Mhoo and Third’s secret feelings make their respective friendships disingenuous and lopsided from the get-go, and it was almost tragicomic, watching them convince themselves to pine their hearts out in secret, all in the name of protecting their friendship.
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One thing I love about the world is that you can recommend books to your friends and they can read them and they will understand you a little bit better each time until it feels like you’re completely seen and known and they don’t want to hurt you at all
#I think of this constantly just the purity of the feelings I have for my friends and the other way around#when they hug you they just want to hug you!!! that’s all#they’ve never thought of hurting me and I’ll never think of it in return#idk it’s nice to fill your life with a love without motives#I dedicate this post to the bandits <3 my best friends#emmys thoughts
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DPXDC prompt. Ghost King uses Uno Reverse Card
Ghosts are not a race of evil creatures that most people think they are. And Danny was really happy when the Infinite Realms were able to make peace treaties with most countries of the human world. Ghosts, however, are a very vindictive race. At least that’s how young Phantom explained himself to Batman afterwards.
It just so happens that a couple of hours before the event aimed at expanding intergalactic unions most of the JLeague members due to an emergency call went on a mission. Which means people who had any authority in Phantom’s eyes became unavailable for a while.
So Shazam and Phantom as the most known outside the Earth were assigned to greet the guests and most importantly to entertain the visitors until the founders of JL return.
According to Phantom, Batman, being such a good detective with a bunch of backup plans, should have known that Danny’s favorite cereal ran out this morning, that he was late for first class, and that after school he had a fight with his parents. No, seriously, aren’t so-called scientists supposed to be able to admit mistakes in their own judgment? Danny got tired of being constantly ashamed of their behavior near other ghosts. It's bad enough that his authority as a ruler is sustained only by the support of those Ancients with whom he maintains friendly relations. Average citizens still doubt that he is a is sufficient to claim the throne. He’s had enough of being accused of not being a full-fledged ghost. He’s not ready to hear rumors that he supports his parents' racist judgments too. In short, his day sucked. And all his ghostly nature now wanted to do something nasty to his neighbors to get rid of the tension.
Alien leader stretched out a hand to Phantom and Shazam. “Your Majesty Phantom, Champion of Magic. It’s an honor to meet you. I hope I learned the proper greeting gesture of the local intelligent race.”
And with that Danny’s reserve of conscience ran out. It’s a perfect moment to feed his need to be a little shit.
“The local intelligent race?’ Danny had this extreme bewilderment on his face. “Which one do you think..? Earth was the home of the Gods and of various inhabitants of the galaxy but it was a long time ago.”
Woman is clearly confused. Great. “E-Earthers. I think they’re called that.”
“Earthlings, intelligent race? You must be mistaken.” Danny faked a giggle. “Who told you that crap?”
“Phantom, what are you doing?” Batman hissed at him from an earpiece. Danny turned the sound off with a clear conscience. “I mean, seriously, there’s not a single serious study in the science library in this galaxy or any other galaxy that says humans are intelligent. Shazam, do you think they’re..?”
For some reason, Billy immediately remembered watching a man spend his entire salary on lottery tickets last week. And of course he was careless enough to shake his head and snort. That was all Phantom needed.
“Exactly. Earthlings don’t have to be intelligent to mimic the behavior of more evolved species. Surely you are well aware that Martians and Kryptonians, and many others have visited Earth at different stages of human development. My supervisor Clockwork and I have long been observing this strange species. In many ways, their behavior resembles a mixture of instinctive reactions of specimens from the 126 sectors of the nearest SBc Galaxy and several other creatures from planets of the galaxy KV59. However, even I, as an anthropologist with extensive experience of observing human species in their natural habitat, still have to explore and discover many of their secrets.”
“I do not understand. According to the documents among the delegation that greets us there are Earthlings. I mean I don’t question the scientific evidence of a respected Chronos or you, but why then..”
“Of course you don’t! It’s really quite simple. For the purity of the clinical experiment, which we are conducting now, it is necessary that Earthlings feel themselves ostensibly full participants of the «society» consisting of members with developed intelligence.”
“So, any luck, colleague?” Shazam, who realized that Batman would now skin them anyway, decided to at least participate in this theater so that the punishment would be at least deserved.
“Well, we’ve certainly come up with some interesting preliminary insights about the adaptive capacity of the human brain in limited contact with Martians. Of course, humans do not have real emotions to be full participants in communication, but their attempts and zeal are very inspiring.”
~~~~~
Meanwhile, Fentons watching a live broadcast of what was supposed to be an interplanetary friendship encounter are beginning to realize that if trying to punish a rebellious human teenager has always been difficult for them, the attempt to control the behavior of the 14 y/o half-ghost may become a nightmare not only for them.
Jack: Honey, I think Danny’s still a little upset about our old theories about the ability of ghosts to feel or think.
Jazz, sitting between them with the face of a man resigned to the chaos around her, could not restrain the sarcasm: Really? Why would you think that?
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How do you think the stranger things boys would react to reader asking them to wear her purity ring on a chain / piece of jewelry after they take her virginity? (love ur fics btw!! <33)
hi!! ty for the request and sweet words <33 i only write for eddie, hopper, and steve, so i hope that's cool/what you meant, and i hope you enjoy!!
𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 would be super into it, especially if you are more of a preppy girl, like a cheerleader or just an overall goody-two-shoes/girl-next-door kind. his corruption kink is pretty lowkey, but it is definitely there. he proudly wears your purity ring on a chain that sits right next to his guitar pick necklace, and he constantly fiddles with it, especially when you're around, like a subtle reminder/tease.
𝐣𝐢𝐦 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 isn't big into the possessive stuff, especially if you two have an age gap, it makes him feel a little weird. plus, he's so big, he doubts your ring would fit on any of his thick fingers. maybe he'd wear it on a necklace, tucked under his shirt, if you asked. or maybe he'd just keep it, in the drawer of his bedside table, like a little keepsake.
𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧 would do it in a heartbeat. he also isn't huge on the whole "i took your virginity" thing, but he loves the fact that you're his girl. he doesn't normally wear jewelry, but he'd make it work, and when people ask him what it is, he'll smirk and say, "it's my girlfriend's." when he fucks you, the chain dangles in front of your face, the cool metal tickling your skin.
#stranger things#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson smut#jim hopper x reader#jim hopper#jim hopper smut#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington#steve harrington smut#stranger things hcs#ophelia's hcs#my posts#my hcs
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Can we get a Larissa Weems who's prolly an 'innocent' tease when she discovers reader likes her since she's a hella smart woman and wants reader to confess first before she reveals the truth that she knows and has been testing her? 👀 (Idk why but that kind of personality suits her sm and so canon)
KINKTOBER WEEK 1 : "CAUGHT"
NSFW - 'Innocent'!Larissa Weems x Teacher!Reader
warnings: smut 18+ duh, kiddos beware & dni please :p, sub!reader, dom!larissa, a bit of dark!larissa, rough handling of r, fingering (r receiving), teasing, larissa is lowkey predatory in a sexy way, a SMIDGE of size kink if you squint!
A/N: I'M BEHIND SHUT UP SHUT U-- BUT! This is so cute~ I love the idea of her playing dumb but really just luring in our poor reader into thinking she's 'just a sweet woman' when she's literally the most predatory little shit on planet Earth!!
I kinda wandered off prompt SORRY ANON FSHDK THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!!
no beta we die like weems >:P
Over the past few weeks, Headmistress Weems had been casting you more and more cheeky glances, her heeled foot nudging at the cuff of your pant leg, or her gaze shifting to something just a little more than friendly. Whenever you would point the fact out or comment on it as quietly as you could, the blonde would look genuinely concerned, cocking her head to the side.
"I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean, y/n. Am I making you uncomfortable at all?" She would ask, her deep blues casting doubt over her face.
You would melt every time, assuring her that you must've been overthinking it, and that she wasn't doing anything wrong.
Sometimes, if you felt confident-- you would tease back every once in a while, call her a pet name, or make a little joke. She would always redden and turn away, saying how you were 'just too much', or a flatterer. It made you smile, but you were sure it was only one sided.
Oh how wrong you were.
--
As you stepped into Larissa's office for your routine biweekly check-in and performance review, your gaze caught on something glimmering in the corner of your eye.
Larissa had yet to arrive back to her office, and she generally allowed you access even when she wasn't present, so you quietly let yourself in.
You two had a bit of a heated discussion surrounding student curfew. You believed they should be allowed extra hours during the evenings as you both had been given when you were at Nevermore, though Larissa believed that they would simply damage and destroy property if allowed out and about past 10pm. The playful bickering had gone on for several minutes before a student called her attention away, and she had left you in the hall nearest the teacher's lounge.
"Do feel free to get comfortable while I deal with this..but do your best to not poke around my office too much. It's yet to be tidied." You remember her saying.
Turning to look at what had originally snagged your attention, you realized it was Larissa's lip shaped coat pendant. Leaning in to inspect it closer, you couldn't help but pick the piece up, brushing your thumb over the lip part of the pendant.
Tilting the piece into the light and squinting-- you notice a familiar scar on the left most part of the upper lip. The cast was of Larissa's own lips.
It was with this revelation that you reflected upon how you secretly yearned for your own boss. It was impractical for workflow AND highly taboo, but you couldn't help it.
The way she always chuckled at your jokes, how she would gently squeeze your shoulder or hand whenever you were nervous, her little whispers of praise when she passed by your class in the halls...It was a wonder you hadn't thrown yourself at her yet.
Turning the piece over in your hands, you marveled at the pure gold pendant. It was weighty and dense in your hand, no doubt high purity. Larissa always had a penchant for the finer things in life. You didn't hold it against her-- if there were screaming outcast children all around you constantly, you'd want to at least have something nice to hold onto while it was all happening.
With a small huff, you hesitantly held the pendant close, staring at those lips you craved to taste for so long.
Despite it all, you quickly brought the pendant to your own lips, pressing a soft kiss to the woman who haunted your dreams and waking days.
If only the metal was soft and warm like you had imagined she might be. If only she cou-
"Do tell me you plan to put that back, darling." A familiar voice chided, astonishingly close to you, no less. Lithe fingers came to hold your waist, manicured nails crimping the fabric beneath them.
"I can't have one of my favourite teachers stealing from me now, can I?" That cloying voice pulled at every piece of your inhibition, clouding it...urging it to simply fall apart. You let out a soft squeak, clutching the golden piece to your chest and allowing your eyes to dart down and see those familiar crimson nails. They held you steady, not allowing you to waver.
You squeezed your eyes shut, nervously shaking your head in response. "I-...would never, Larissa." You assure, though the tremble in your voice betrays your earnestness.
With a throaty chuckle, the blonde leans in, whispering sweetly to you-- a warning,"Do you think I'm dim witted, y/n?"
A beat between the two of you stood in silence.
"...No, of course not. I- I think you're brilliant, Lariss-" The grip on your waist shifted to pull your back against her front, her hand came to take back the pendant, before setting it down as she held both of your wrists in one palm, the other securing your waist.
"Good. Do you remember what I had asked of you before I left not more than 10 minutes ago?"
You let out a pathetic excuse of a whimper, melting into her assertive touch.
"Yes but-" You managed between quick breaths.
"Tell me, y/n. What did I ask you? Hm?" This was a side of Larissa you had never seen. You had heard she could be severe and reprimanding towards her students when she needed to be, but never so-- dark.
You had no way of knowing how she had played this role-- this façade of innocence, of kindness and gentle sweetness for so long... And you had walked right into the beast's lair. You had gone against the one thing she had asked of you.
Your brain was mush, but even so, you tried your best to pull yourself together and answer what had been asked of you. "You...told me to not poke around your things--" "And you went and did it anyways..." With the click of her tongue, the statuesque woman brought your trapped wrists in front of you, forcing your palms flat against the fireplace's wall. You were bent forward, embarrassingly so. With a satisfied hum, the blonde released you.
You weren't stupid enough to try and move. A little voice in the back of your mind urged you to be difficult. To move and whine and annoy her on purpose-- just to push her and see how far things might go. But still, you stayed. Obedient to her whims.
As she paced, she thought out loud, eyes glued to your bent form like some sort of beast watching its prey.
"And to think we could have gone on a nice dinner date...gone for some hot chocolate, maybe? Something sweet...simple...innocent. But you had to go and disobey me the one time I give you instruction. I had been easy on you until now, was I too understanding? Too reasonable in letting you get away with your flirtations...your flattery."
Though she was speaking mostly rhetorically, you cleared your throat to retort. "YOU flirted first, Larissa.."
A low grunt accompanied her pause in pacing. Immediate regret washed over your body, filling your gut with a deep dread as she came back to you, wrenching your wrists upward and nearly dragging you to her expansive cherrywood desk.
With a squeak, you were tossed over weeks worth of paperwork, her body bending over yours, chest and hips keeping you pinned where you were. Helplessly, you began to wiggle around, trying to apologize between pathetic little whines.
Larissa had made up her mind, though. She would take you here and now, since you wanted to be so smart about it all. Part of her anger was stress, part of it pent up emotions. She had been playing this long game with you for almost 4 semesters now, a summer in between that with absolutely no action on her end? She had gone almost completely mad for you in that time. Larissa was partially annoyed because of how unbothered by her you seemed to be. Nothing more than a little smile or blush in whatever she said.
But YOU? God, you made her brain fry, her cheeks flush the most humiliating shade of rosy red. You filled her waking thoughts and her night time dreams. You were at the end of each and every fantasy when she lay writhing beneath her sheets some evenings. And still, you didn't seem to care.
So she would make you care.
"You want to argue about who flirted first? Well I'll let you tell me who fucked you first." She growled, lips latching onto your neck. Her painted lips smeared across the skin of your throat, teeth demanding purchase against your tissue.
You let out an explosive moan, knees buckling as the two of you lay flush against the desk and each other. At this, the blonde chuckled, her lips curling up against your skin.
"Excited, are we?" Without waiting for a response, her manicured fingers hooked against one of the back loops of your trousers. Tugging gently and pausing in her movements.
"May I?"
Even in her desperate state, Larissa was a considerate soul. You let out a small chuckle, nodding and replying with a shy,"Yes, please."
As the anger from your employer simmered down, the true passion from the moment was beginning to seep into the very fabric of your beings. Larissa let out little hums of approval as you clumsily stepped out of your pants in your restricted state, (mostly) unintentionally pushing your rear up against her front, causing some appreciated friction for the platinum blonde.
Your mind was ablaze with all the thoughts, questions, and desires from months of teasing and what you now realized was flirtation. The way her fingers seemed to massage out the most sinful sounds from your mouth, and her lips worked like magic in pacifying your need. Sure, you thought Larissa to be beautiful and intelligent-- but never had you thought she would be such a competent lover.
When her body weight pressed heavier into you so her one knee could push your legs farther apart, you thought you might melt into the floor. Everything felt mushy and warm, too warm to be wearing as much as you were-- but it was midday, and if it weren't for this being your break period, you'd have a class.
"Let's see what we're working with, hm?" Her musing was rhetorical, but you nodded frantically anyways. In some way, you thought maybe that would make her move faster.
With a chuckle, she slipped her hand under the waistband of your trousers, brushing past your fuzz and ghosting ever so lightly over your puffy clit.
You let out of a puff of air, desperately wanting to begin bucking your hips-- and if you were in any other position, you would be able to. But it seemed Larissa was set on making you crumble. Her fingers slipped through your folds with ease, a low hum of approval next to your ear letting you know she enjoyed this result very much.
With every whine and little wiggle of your hips, the blonde inched closer to where you needed her most, seeming to revel in the fool you were making of yourself.
"Larissa...rissa..pl..ease." You managed between pants and whimpers of exasperation.
"Please what, darling?" She purred, fingers grazing lightly over your engorged clit, to which you twitched and whimpered yet again.
"Touch..touch m..me-!" You pushed back into Larissa's front again, and this time she obliged, large and lithe fingers plunged themselves into your soaking hole-- and you saw stars.
A pornographic groan of relief rumbled from your chest, eyes widening in ecstasy as she started up a brutal pace. Your cunt squeezed and drooled around the fingers of your employer-- and the thought made you whimper aloud once more.
"There you go, sweetheart. Let it all out.." She chided teasingly, her tone so grossly condescending that it made you scoff slightly, to which she giggled.
Her fingers worked you to putty, while you bit at your bottom lip, and she kissed along your neck, whispering little praises that had you preening with pride.
"So good for me, darling...so good...so fucking good." The profanity falling off her tongue made it sound like a prayer, causing your legs to finally give out. Thankfully for your position, Larissa's weight kept you suspended and prevented you from sliding down and off the desk.
With each ministration, the sounds of slick and wetness permeated the air, and your face grew redder with how embarrassed you were. Well-- you would be more embarrassed if you weren't about to cum on your boss's desk.
As she sensed your squeezing core and growing unrest as your orgasm mounted, her fingers curled up into that spongy spot that was just SO good, so sinfully pleasurable that you couldn't keep the drool from dribbling down your chin and onto the desk-- your eyes rolling back with each curl and uncurl of Larissa's fingers.
"M-m'close.." you managed between keens and moans of pure bliss, Larissa's hand tightening its hold on your hip, the other pausing to readjust, before thrusting itself at the perfect angle. Seconds later, you were flying to the stars, seeing them behind your eyelids, sparks rippling up your spine, body going taut as a bow in the process.
"Good girl, cum for me." She crooned into you, letting you ride out your absolute explosion of an orgasm while she mumbled little affirmations into your skin.
"Fucking Hell, Larissa-- I--"
"Language, Y/N!" She teased, gently removing her hands from your trousers and flipping you over to straddle you against the desk, front to front.
"Pfft- Sure, like you didn't just say the most disgusting and foul mouthed things to me to get me off." You rolled your eyes, clearing the mussed hair from your forehead and wiping the drool off your chin with a sheepish grin.
Larissa's eyebrow quirked in amusement as you readjusted yourself, making sure you saw as she cleaned your essence from her fingers, making a show of her languid (and unusually long) tongue darting over every last drop.
"So-- Does this mean..uhm..we get a nice dinner date, still?"
A hearty laugh escaped the blonde, and she leaned in closer to you, her stature nearly pushing her bosom into your face. You flushed at the action, taking her hips in your hands to keep her steady.
"Is that how it goes? I bed you and then you take me to dinner? I was sure it was the other way around..."
"Well, yeah- but you kind of...chose for me, in a way. I just want to show you that I do see your flirting, and it does affect me more than you think."
Larissa cupped your face, pressing a tender kiss to your lips, a smile lacing her features.
"Well, if you'd like to have a meal together this weekend, I'd love if you'd have me."
"It's settled, then."
-
done!
#larissa weems x y/n#gwendoline christie#larissa weems#larissa weems smut#larissa weems x reader#reader insert#wednesday netflix#gwendoline christie fandom#my fic#kinktober
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I think that the average internet Marxist is actually not much of a materialist at all, in fact in their behavior and rhetoric they seem very concerned with moral purity, the redemptive power of suffering, and the ability of narrative to shape the actual world. As myriad as the senses of the word "materialist" have come to be, none of this would seem to comport well with any of them. This all feels very Christian.
In some cases I really do think there is a latent Christianity in it, but I think the stronger source of this trend is simply the leftist emphasis on sloganeering. Somewhere along the line, maybe with the Bolshevik policy of democratic centralism or maybe somewhere else, the importance of the slogan, the party line, the supreme power of the speech act seems to have been elevated for many leftists above all other concerns. From this follows the kind of disingenuous, obviously fallacious argument you so often see from the online ML left. The point is to say the magic words that have been carefully agreed upon, the magic incantation that will defeat all opposition.
Whether it's "I don't want to vote for a candidate who supports any amount of genocide" or "The Is-not-rael Zionist entity is on the edge of collapse!" or whatever else, a rational person can recognize the impotence of these words. They don't do anything. They're just words. But the feeling seems to be that once the perfect incantation is crafted—the incantation that makes your opponent sound maximally like a Nazi without engaging with their position in good faith, or the incantation which brushes aside all thoughts of defeat, or whatever else—once the perfect incantation is crafted, all that is left to do is say it and say it and say it, and make sure everyone else is saying it too.
This is not a materialist way of approaching politics. This is a mystical way of approaching politics.
I think it's also worth saying that this tendency in Marxism seems old, it certainly predates the internet. Lots of Marxists today are vocal critics of identity politics, of what they see as the liberal, insubstantive, and idealist Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion framework. I share this criticism to a significant degree, but I'm not very eager to let Marxists off the hook here. The modern DEI framework evolved directly out of a liberal/capitalist appropriation of earlier academic ideas about social justice from such sources as Queer Studies, Black Studies, academic Feminism and so on. I say this as a neutral, factual description of its history which I believe to be essentially accurate. In turn, disciplines like Queer Studies, Black Studies, and academic Feminism each owe a great intellectual dept to academic Marxism, and likewise to the social movements of the 1960s (here in the Anglosphere), which themselves were strongly influenced by Marxism.
Obviously as the place of these fields in the academy was cemented, they lost much (most) of their radical character in practice. To a significant degree however, I think their rhetorical or performative radicalism was retained, and was further fostered by the cloistered environment of academia. In this environment the already-extant Marxist tendency to sloganeering seems in my impression to have metastasized greatly. And so I think the political right is not actually wrong, or not wholly wrong, when they attribute the speech-act-centrism of modern American (and therefore, online) politics, its obsession with saying things right above doing things right and its constantly shifting maze of appropriate forms of expression, at least in part to Marxism.
Now I should say that I don't think the right is correct about much else in this critique, and I also don't think this is wholly attributable to Marxism. But I think there's plainly an intellectual dept there.
More than anything else, this is my genuine frustration with both Marxism as it exists today and with its intellectual legacy as a whole. I fundamentally do not believe in the great transformative power of speech acts, I do not believe in the importance of holding the correct line, I do not believe that the specifics of what you say or how you say it matter nearly as much as what you do. I do not think there is much to be gained from playing the kind of language games that Marxists often like to play, and I do not think that playing language games and calling it "materialist analysis" is a very compelling means of argument.
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Rachel's Cherry
The first few months of college were a blur of new experiences, friends, and concerns. Here I was just an eighteen year old virgin intent on keeping my purity until the right person came along. But as months passed I not only saw more sexual sights and things done at parties and in dorm rooms but on the lawns of the campus and at pledging events. I became more and more distracted and increasingly curious about my sexual thoughts that just wouldn't go away. In fact that's about all I could think about.
As a virgin I still feared the experience and wondered constantly what it would be like the first time, how would it feel, would it hurt, would I enjoy it? And most importantly, would I be able to have an orgasm. Then there was a question of whether or not I should let the guy cum inside me. What would that feel like when he did? And lastly birth control, which should I use?
I had been experimenting with masturbation for quite a while now so that I could feel the pleasure, but not having to worry about all the risks so deeply instilled in me from my parents and others. But my eyes and brain both began to wander, whenever I would notice a good-looking guy in my classes. And, I would wonder how big his cock was when it was hard and how he was in bed. Then I would think they were just out to get laid like my mom always told me they were. Or, I would think that just maybe there should be more to the first time I gave my cherry than have a young stud taking his pleasure, and then brag to his friends that he had fucked a virgin. Little did I know just how the course of my life would change and lead me into a totally new and surprising erotic direction.
I met Jeff at the part time job I took in order to earn some money to pay for school. Actually he was my mentor while I was an intern at his company. The college thinks that life experiences are just as important as standard book knowledge. Therefore, each student completes an internship no matter what his or her major may be.
Jeff was friendly as well as business like from the start, and showed me quite a few things about the job I was to perform. He had this nature about him and I didn't feel the usual shyness when talking with new people that I usually had. He was thirty-five, newly single, with brown hair streaked with gray and deep blue eyes that sparkled when he smiled. He also has an impressive athletic build with wide shoulders, which tapered to a narrow waist and well defined yet smooth stomach. We worked together a few days a week and the occasional weekend during the busy months. I looked forward to spending my time with him.
I definitely had a crush on him. I let my eyes linger on him… I flirted with him neievely and felt embarrassed with myself after each lost opportunity. My blossoming sexual mind began to visualise touching his body and being held in his tender embrace. It was the highlight of my week when I found that we would be working alone, just the two of us. Just he and I alone in the big office most of the time right next to each other. I started to cherish our days together and felt I could talk with him honestly and seriously about anything. Besides helping me learn the world of finance he was starting to seem like an old friend who I could really open up to about anything. And I did. I told him all about my life and… my non-existent sex life… and that I was a virgin.
He told me about his past, his love life, his ex… but he never once made any moves on me. He respected me. He was my teacher and I was his student… that was how our relationship was supposed to be. On Fridays we decided to go out for something to eat since work ended later than usual. The cafeteria had long since closed and this was a much better alternative than a frozen dinner from the microwave in my dorm. We both went home to shower, and change. In the shower I began to think about Jeff and couldn't help but fantasise about his cock as I rubbed my pussy picturing holding me tight making love to me.
I smiled and decided that I would shave my pussy. My roommate had told me shaving makes oral sex from a man's tongue feel so much better. Not that I felt I would get any oral sex from Jeff! He had made his position quite clear… but a girl can dream. Once I had a smooth pussy, I dressed thinking that later I would come home and get myself off while I dreamed of Jeff's tongue on my clit.
After I finished shaving I dried off and dressed in white lace bra and bikini panties. I put on my shortest skirt, which accentuated the gentle curves of my hips and revealed my legs emerging from a little higher than mid thigh. I pulled my tight tank top over my head to show my 32B breasts pressing hard against the material. I blushed as I saw my nipples against the material and I imagined Jeff's hands and mouth cupping, licking and caressing each one. With a sigh I came back to reality and realised my panties had become damp with my wetness.
"What am I thinking, Jeff is older and probably doesn't even think of me other than as an intern at work or a young friend. But I bet unlike the one track minds of guys my age, he must really know how to please a woman before fucking her."
I smiled and thought of his blue eyes looking passionately into his he made love to my body before he fucked me long and hard. A man like him carried just as much about a woman's orgasm as his own. I quickly finished getting ready and tried to push the sexual thoughts from my mind. I headed to the restaurant to meet up with him, and pretended that this was going to be our first real date.
I was late to the restaurant and saw Jef, waiting patiently outside. He smiled when he saw me. I found myself running towards him and he gathered me in his embrace. I gazed up at his handsome face, his beautiful blue eyes, his lips, god, his full soft lips, and he rested his hand on my waist. Our look, his hand, I felt myself filling with adrenalin, felt the sudden simmer of arousal. He sort of moved to me, but didn't quite, so, I was the one, I moved my head to his and leaned in and we kissed. It was lovely, just amazing. He tasted different to the other boys, but nice. We were so soft, so gently, our lips barely touching, the tip of his soft tongue touching mine. And then I felt his hand on my ass, gently touching me there, cupping me through my skirt.
I felt my small nipple become stiff, and sensed myself become wet between my legs. I am not sure I had felt this before, in this context, he kissed me, his hand was on my ass, so soft, and I felt a sudden dampness in my vagina. It was so arousing, to feel this, to feel my young body reacting. I rested my hand on his thigh, I didn't know quite what to do, I mean, I knew what I could do, I didn't know quite how far I wanted to take this, but, well, I moved my hand upward, up along his firm thigh, and I put my hand on his cass as I pressed myself into him…, and felt his penis, through his jeans… it felt hard.
"You look beautiful tonight, Rachel," he said, as his gaze traveled from my head to my feet and back up again lingering for just for a moment on my hips and the curves of my breasts. He guided me into the restaurant, placing a gentle touch of his hand to the small of my back. He even pulled the chair out for me! As we waited for our food to arrive we made small talk about work and my classes.
I noticed him looking at me as if he wanted to say something. "What is it?" I asked, feeling for the first time a hint of shyness.
"Rachel, I know you told me you are a virgin but I was wondering… Are you looking for… a relationship?”
“Are you?” I blurted out, flustered.
“Yes…”
“I have spent the last few months… trying to get your attention.”
“I noticed.” He seemed embarrassed. “You are so young… sexy… why me?”
“Because you are my dream guy I suppose. You are the man I have been dreaming of since I became a teenager… a sweet prince… older… wiser…”
“You-you like that?” He stumbled.
“Oh yes… I guess I am attracted to older men.” I replied honestly.
There was a few minutes of silence while we ate our food. I could almost see the gears of his mind working, trying to find the right words. This was my opportunity.
“I want you Jeff, and I know you want me.”
“You do… I do?”
“That kiss was more than just a kiss between friends… and… I felt how hard you were when we hugged…”
“But how can we make this work, I mean-”
“I want you. I want to be with you. Why don’t you take me home tonight?” I bravely said and waited for his response.
“But you’re a virgin!” Jeff whispered.
“And tomorrow I wont be.” I really was going to go through with this. I never felt so scared.
“Do you want to lose your virginity… to me? Tonight?"
I blushed blood red and nodded. I smiled. He miled. He bent forward and whispered, as his breath became warm in my ear "Do you know what you have been doing to me these weeks we have been working together? I mean the way you walk and press your body against my arm when we are studying something, or the way you sit and cross and recross your legs? Do you know you have been driving me crazy?"
I was shocked and showed it. I tried to speak but finally just shook my head no.
He held my hand and moved even closer to my face and ear. As he talked his voice gave me chills. I shivered from it. He smiled and took both of my hands and held them tight and said: "Well then I'll have to tell you… I want you too. You’re so pretty and tonight you just look… incredible. Yes, you turned me on. My cock is hard and swollen with blood with a big purple head everyday when you leave work, Rachel.”
“Then take me to your bed… make love to me, Jeff?”
“I want to make love to you. I mean I want to be your first! I want us to go all the way tonight. yes, come back to my place tonight, don't go back home alone. Come home with me Rachel and let me make love to you, let me teach you and give you the pleasure of sex, complete sex."
I must have been three shades of red now and started to actually shake inside because I wanted him too. Only I didn't know how bad he wanted me. He added as he captured the tip of my ear between his teeth and bit gently: "This will change thins between us… are you ready for that? Do you really want me to be the one who takes your virginity?”
“Yes… show you how great sex can be."
His eyes were now looking directly into mine. He came closer and lightly kissed me. My hands trembled as I tensed under his first seduction. He reached under the table and touched my smooth upper thigh just at the edge of my skirt. As he continued to look deeply into my eyes. I sat there looking at his handsome face and not saying anything. I felt his hand move up under the hem of my skirt and slide down between my thighs. He was stroking my right inner leg making me hotter and full of sexual need. No, I was burning up inside. Luckily we were seated in a secluded corner of the restaurant because he began to move his hand slowly higher still up my leg. I didn't stop him or say a word.
His eyes twinkled devilishly as he looked into my eyes and as he kissed me again I felt his tongue slip into my mouth and his hand touching the corner of my panty leg no more than an inch from my pussy. I squeezed my legs together, capturing his hand on the smoothness of the upper end of my inner thigh. When he covered my panty, cupping my pussy, my first reaction was to moan but then I remembered and said to myself: "My god if he touches my naked pussy he'll know I shaved myself for him!" And suddenly, I desperately wanted him to touch me there.
I looked away from him, to the guy next to me as we ate, when I felt his hand on my knee. I stopped breathing for a second. I didn't look at you or acknowledge your touch but secretly willed you to continue. He must have read my mind because he gently slid his fingers over my mound. My breathing quickened but I still kept my head turned to my left. His fingers fanned out and began to creep toward my pantie clad slit. I clear my throat and shyly looked into his amazing eyes. His lust was burning there.
I unthinkingly parted my legs for him, and hisfingers found the elastic of my panties. My clit was so swollen now, and I ached for his touch, but we were sitting at a large table, from the right angle we could be seen. I was dying to release the moans and screams I was holding back, and he continued to tease me under the table, silently and yet urgently. Oh god, what was I going to do?
His talented finger finger slips inside my panties… but goes no further as I squirmed and wiggled as gently as I could. Damn him for teasing me like this - but oh don't stop!
No one noticed us - amazing since I felt like I was wearing a big sign that sid 'fuck me now'. I was extremely horny for him, but it would be another couple of hours or so before we could be alone. Jeff knew exactly what to do, but he held back because we were right in the middle of the dinner.
"Rachel, are you alright?"
My voice was nowhere to be found. My throat was dry and I was dying to be fucked; but I was also too afraid to speak; Jeff knew what I wanted and needed.
As I was thinking it, Jeff ran a hand under my panty elastic and over my freshly shaven pussy. As his fingers went under my panties and over my bald pussy he smiled at me and said: "Oh my God, Rachel! A virgin who shaves! I like it and I want to see it."
I jumped when his fingers located my slit and I reached for his hand. I moaned the word: "No. No Jeff, not here. Not in the restaurant please! Wait until we get in your car?"
As I held his hand on my pussy, for some reason I didn't move it. I simply held it against my wet cunt and pressed slightly. Then he whispered, "I can’t wait… Open you legs wider for me Rachel. Open them."
I don't know why I did but I did. I opened my thighs wide and Jeff began to stroke up and down my smooth shaved pussy. I knew he could feel my wetness but I didn't care, I let him! To disguise our closeness I leaned into him and kissed him. I kept my thighs open and held his hand directly on my pussy as my tongue danced at his lips and he stroked me so softly and gently. The first person other than myself to ever touch me there was now doing it in a crowded restaurant and I loved it. I moaned softly as I sucked on his tongue and he made love to my virgin pussy.
As I closed my eyes I moaned his name. He kissed me a little harder as he rubbed three of his fingers up and down my entire wet slit. Then as I sighed I felt one of his fingers move into the entrance of my hole. As it entered my hole slowly, I didn't say no this time. I opened my thighs wider still. I moaned again. He had his entire hand now under the smooth fabric of my bikini panties; thighs spread wide open and letting him caress the smooth skin and hole between my legs.
As Jeff separated the folds of my pussy lips his finger began to enter my virgin pussy hole I just tried to speak, but only sighed the word, "Oh Jeff! Oh fuck your hand feels like magic! Oh fuck Jeff I am going to cum!" But, I didn't stop him!
I had to fight to stifle a moan as he entered me slowly but steady with that one finger. As he pushed and pumped it into me I pushed against it. Then he followed the first finger with another one. It felt so big going in. I opened my legs wider yet and moaned his name again. He put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. As we kissed and let our tongues fight; Jeff continued to drive me crazy with his two fingers inside my pussy as he made love to it under the table. My brain was racing! "Was this really happening?" I thought as my mind raced and his hand and fingers explored deeper and deeper inside me. I could feel him bumping up against my hem.
"Jeff" I gasped as he continued exploring my pussy and pushing deeper into my hole. "Jeff, I'm a virgin. I wasn't kidding!" I whispered.
"I know, and if you will relax a little and let me, Rachel, I plan on making you a little less virginal after tonight. I can show you what sex is all about. How it can feel so good when you reach a mind-blowing orgasm from someone who really wants to guide you into the world of intercourse and have it be enjoyable and pleasant. Oh Rachel, it feels so much better when you have an orgasm from someone else giving it to you. I'll be gentle and loving and make you enjoy it."
I smiled and said, "I know Jeff, but I'm so scared."
He told me about using his tongue and his fingers and his hands and finally his cock. He whispered in my ear how I would go wild when he licked my pussy. He smiled and said that it would be even better since I had shaved down there.
I said, " Oh Jeff it's not that I don't want to be with you, it's that I'm frightened. Frightened it will hurt me so bad. Well… That's what I’ve heard… about a girl's first time."
Jeff continued to tell me, "I will also show you how to give a man the pleasure he needs before I finally take that barrier away and show you what it's like to have a man's cock buried deep inside of you."
He explained seductively in my ear about the thrill of oral sex and what it would do to me as my body felt the stirrings of passion and lust from someone else touching it for the first time. "I want to… but I'm scared Jeff." I said as I trembled and tears welled up in my eyes.
"You might be scared but your body gives you away Rachel. It tells me you want to continue," he said as his fingers were brought out of my panties first to let me see the wetness, my wetness. And, secondly he showed me his fingers as he put them to his mouth and licked them clean. I heard him moan this time.
"We will do this together. Take small steps. I’m not some young guy desperate for a conquest… I will be gentle, loving and easy. I will pleasure you, on your terms. I will go down on you, Rachel… have you enjoy oral sex. Then we will only proceed when you tell me you are ready," he said as he wiped a tear tenderly off my cheek and kissed me again.
“Thank you, Jeff. That’s what I need… your experience… your love.”
"Do you know what I mean when I say I will lick and suck your pussy first so you will be very wet and very, very aroused, aroused enough to accept me?" he finished as he took my hands in his and squeezed them.
I said: "I . . . I think so, Jeff. But I don't know."
He said: "Would you like to come home with me now and try?"
I said: "Yes." I don't know why I said yes. Maybe it was my time and he was the one. Maybe it was the touch of this man. Maybe it was my growing need. It was a need that seemed to get worse every day. But whatever the reason, I said yes. And we sat looking at each other holding hands.
The waiter soon came by and he told the man to package it up since we both had to leave. We both had other things on our minds as Jeff held his arm around my body as we walked to his car. He opened the door for me and I slid in. His eyes watched my legs open a little as I got in. He shut the door and soon after we were pulling into the complex where he lived. We held each other as we walked to his door. I told him again that I was so scared. I knew he could feel me shaking with it.
Immediately upon entering and locking the door Jeff pulled me to him and kissed me hard, thrusting his tongue into my mouth. I accepted it and sucked on it as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. He held me as I bent my back pressing against him. My tongue began exploring and tasting the inside of his mouth and then his entered mine. He asked me, "Are you glad you came?"
I shook my head yes. He said, "Then tell me. Tell me how you feel."
I tried to look him in the eye but didn't make it. I told him, "I'm glad I'm here with you, it's very exciting, but I'm also very scared.”
He smiled and said, "I'm very glad you're here too, Rachel. Please don't be scared. I'm going to be very gentle with you. And I promise you will love everything we do starting with the feeling of oral sex and everything else that goes with it. But first you should get familiar with a man’s body and let me get acquainted with yours. OK?"
I smiled and nodded. Jeff slowly began running his hands all over my body as he began removing pieces of my clothing. He told me if I had any questions I should ask him and I should also explore his body with my hands and eyes. I didn't stop him but watched his fingers first unbutton my blouse. As it slid it off my shoulders as we both watched it fall to the floor. He kissed me again and after kissing down my neck and into my cleavage he told me: "Rachel! You are so beautiful! You look stunning."
His hands reached up and cupped my breasts for only a moment before his mouth came down and sucked my nipple on the outside of my bra. I held his head with my hands holding his mouth over one of my breasts. I sighed and said, "Oh Jeff!"
I stood before the man I had chosen in just my bra and skirt. Jeff smiled at me as his eyes held my eyes. I felt him run his hands down my sides and then up under my skirt over each of my thighs all the way to the top of my panties. He had my skirt up to my panties and was teasing me a little as his hands swept over my vulva and stomach up under my skirt. I jumped and reached for his hand. He moved his hands off my pussy and I started to relax. Then we both heard the snap and zipper being undone on my skirt. He looked at me and said, "Rachel, do you want to take this off?"
I said, "Yes, yes I think so Jeff.
He said, "No Rachel, yes or no. Do you want me to take your skirt off?"
I said, "Yes I want you to take off my clothes," and as he pushed it down over my hips I wiggled out of the short tight skirt. When it hit the floor, he held my hand as I stepped out of it. As he undressed me, I now stood there not moving just watching him as he stepped back and looked at my body. I was standing before him now in only my bra and tiny bikini panties.
"Wow Rachel, your body is so beautiful and very sexy. I never realised how beautiful it was… you hid this so well why we worked. You are unbelievably lovely… gorgeous…" Jeff almost moaned the words as he pulled me to him and again rubbed my body against his as held me tight.
I felt the bulge of his cock hard in his pants against my naked thigh as we pressed together. He pressed his hips against me and began to rotate his bulge against my pussy. He smiled down at me and kissed my neck as he whispered in my ear, "Now it's your turn. Take my clothes off. Unzip me and release my cock for me Rachel. I'm getting so hard it hurts. Take it out and hold it, touch it, look at it, see what you have been doing to me all these weeks!"
I hesitated only for a moment. But, he took my hand and placed it on the outside of his trousers. I could feel his cock jumping and throbbing. He placed my other hand on his zipper and told me, "Take it out for me Rachel please? Show me you want this, don’t be scared to follow your instincts."
I looked down at his bulge and slowly unzipped his fly. He told me in a whisper: "Now take it out Rachel and feel it, look at it. See for yourself how hard it is. You should look at it and know about it. I will tell you all about my cock and explain what everything is once you release it. Take it out now Rachel and let me show you how hard I am for you…"
I sighed deeply and as my hands shook with excitement, I reached into his pants and took out his penis. It was beautiful! I looked so hard and thick and long. It throbbed in my hand like it was beating. In fact it was the first erect male cock I had ever seen in the flesh. As I unbelted his trousers and they opened more, it emerged completely from his boxers. I could feel its heat and its hardness with the skin around the hardness so soft. As I took the shaft in my hand I began to stroke it and squeeze it listening to him tell me what to do. I looked up at his face and smiled as he told me, "See it won't bite you. But, do you see how hard it is Rachel? You make it that way. When I see you, and stand next to you and we brush against each other while we work, I get hard like this for you everyday. Rachel… you make me so horny."
I caressed every inch of his 7-inch cock and the large set of balls that hung under it. Teasing the head with my nails rubbing gently across it and under the fat mushroom cock head, I pumping the shaft making him moan. Then my hands moving down the shaft as I worked on my first very, very hard cock doing everything Jeff told me to do. When a drop of pre-cum exited the hole in the cock head, Jeff told me all about it and how it got there. He told me to take my finger and wipe it off and then taste it. I did and it wasn't nasty like I was sure it would be. In fact it had almost not taste, maybe a little sweet. After a few minutes, Jeff said, "Oh fuck, Rachel that feels so good… But if we don't stop I'm going to cum and I don't want to, not yet, not like this anyway. There will be time for that in a little while. I didn't want to orgasm yet, I want you to have a few before you give me my own."
He was thinking of giving me several orgasms? I had waited so long for this! He gently pushed me back and my knees hit the edge of the large bed. As I fell back he stripped off the rest of his clothes and moved up next to me and began to kiss my neck and shoulders.
I watched as his fingers moved to my bra and unhooked the front clasp. I was going to try to cover myself, but didn't. He slowly pulled it open and then off my arms. He removed it completely and freeing my breasts. Then he stopped to look at them. I felt funny letting him see them but he kissed me and as his hand cupped one he said, "Oh Rachel, your tits are perfect."
I know I don't have huge breasts but I think they are adequate. They sit up high and they're firm with long pink nipples. Jeff smiled as he saw my nipples sticking out hard already. He used his finger to flick over them making them jump and bounce like a rubber band when he released them. With one of his hands he softly cupped a breast and squeezed it while his mouth and tongue moved over the other one and worked on it. He pushed the two together so that he could lick and suck both nipples at the same time. He licked up between my cleavage and kissed me again as his hands worked on my tits.
I kissed him and as he told me, "I can't believe how beautiful you are Rachel… you don’t need to do this… with me… if you are still a virgin. I already feel like a very lucky man being here with you tonight. You make me so hot and so hard!"
He then moved back down between my tits and again made love to my breasts for a long time. As I ran my hands through his hair and across his back I told him, "This is further than I have ever gone before Jeff. I want to be here… with you. Please be gentle with me."
He looked up at me and said, "If you’re sure?”
I nodded as he lavished his attention on my little titties.
“I will make your first time a good one. I’m honoured."
Fuck I loved it what his mouth was doing. His wonderful mouth was sucking and licking and sucking and licking all over my tits and nipples. Over and over again he sucked them making my nipples as hard as small rocks. He even bit them gently. I just laid back and moaned and moaned and moaned.
He looked up into my eyes and said, "Are you ready, Rachel?"
I softly said the word, "Yes…"
As I was saying it, he was moving his lips down my body and kissed my stomach and around the bottom of my breasts. He licked under them making me wiggle. "That tickles", I told him.
He licked around my stomach and into the belly button hole. I giggled again as I let my hands slide down still holding his head gently.
Further down he kissed. My body was moving from the feeling of his lips and tongue on it. Then he licked over the top of my bikini panties. As I felt him hooking two fingers in the waistband on each side of them, he started pulling them down my hips. He said, "Lift Rachel, lift up so I can get these off."
Now I was starting to worry again. My mom had always told me that once a lady lets a man take off her panties, she has no more defenses. She has more or less decided to give herself to the man taking them off. Why I did, I don't know for sure, but when I heard him tell me to lift, I did.
I lifted my ass up about a foot off the bed so he could remove my panties. They were very wet between my legs and stuck a little against my pussy. I looked at him and started trembling like a newborn kitten as he removed the panty off of each leg. He kissed each of them as he removed the panty off each of my feet. Then he looked directly at me as he put my panties to his face and inhaled deeply. He moaned as he dropped the panties on the bed. Jeff then came up and kissed me as I felt his hands move my legs apart. He said, "Now little one, don't be scared. It will be OK Rachel, I promise. You will love this I guarantee it. Now open your legs wide for me. OK?"
As I watched him I separated my legs and he said, "Hmmm a virgin with a shaved pussy! You look so beautiful Rachel. So lovely! You look good enough to eat and that's what I am going to do." He smiled at me as his hand slowly rubbed the smooth skin all around my pussy and he said, "Maybe you're not as innocent as I first thought?"
I smiled shyly and tried to close my thighs in embarrassment only to have him hold them apart. "I have a surprise for you" he said, as he reached for something on the side table.
I soon saw that it was strips of silk fabric, which he used to tie my wrists and bind them securely to the underside of the bed somehow. But what was more surprising was that I didn't protest at all. I just looked at him helplessly watching him do it. He was going to tie me up and deep down inside my brain… I knew I wanted this! I wanted to be bound! I wanted to be held tight so I couldn't resist. I was just going to let him have his way with me now. I had resolved to do this and I really felt I would never go through with it unless I was forced a little somehow. But! I didn't protest at all as he moved between my spread legs
As he moved around between them, I opened my thighs wider for him. He used his hands to gently but forcefully pushed them open even more. "Trust me" he said as his face lowered and he kissed first the skin of my inner thighs and around and up over my stomach again and back down to my inner thigh.
Then as I moaned loudly, I arched my back and closed my eyes as he finally began to lick my pussy. It was wonderful, unbelievable. His lips gave me a shock that went into and over my entire body. He was my mentor, my teacher and he was licking my pussy, my shaved virgin pussy! I had never felt anything like it before. It was a feeling, which can't be described by words. You have to experience having your pussy licked for yourself ladies. But please! Experience it! If you haven't had it done yet, get someone to do it to you. Trust me, you won't forget it and you'll thank me for telling you. A pussy was made for licking first before fucking. If your man isn't doing that, find another man.
Jeff's mouth and tongue drove me wild within seconds. "Oh Jeff, OH SHIT! OH FUCK!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!! AHHHH!!!!!!!" I screamed at just the first few touches of his smooth soft tongue against my naked pussy.
But he didn't stop. He relentlessly licked and sucked my pussy while I thrashed and moaned under his mouth. My hips were now rocking my pussy into his face as he sucked and licked me. He would lick from the top of my slit to the very bottom, and then used his fingers as he pushed back the hood of skin over my clit and he began to softly suck my clit into his mouth. I screamed with rapture!
At the same time he massaged my virgin hole with his fingers. I buck my hips up pushing against his face feeling myself lose all control. He had me! I was gone and the pleasure was driving me higher and higher. All I wanted now was more, more stimulation. He didn't disappoint me.
He raised up off of me then to look at my wet pussy so close to his face. He rested his head on one of my thighs so that he could watch his fingers play with my clit which was now sticking out from its covering and getting harder and harder under his touch. He applied the gentlest pressure around it without touching it directly for a time. I was pumping my pussy trying to fuck his face. I whispered, "Touch it Jeff. Touch my clit baby! OH FUCK! Jeff I'm going to cum! TOUCH IT!!"
Then he pressed directly on my clit, then released the pressure for a second before applying it again. As he pressed again the electric pulses seemed to travel from my clit all over my body. I tensed as his finger once again pressed and released again and as his other hand and fingers massaged and slightly entered my virgin hole.
Jeff said, "Don't worry Rachel you will cum hard many times before I fuck that little virgin hole."
He licked and sucked me teasing me and kept me from that final step that would make me cum! He spent so much time pleasing my body I was drifting and drifting in a world of bliss. And then, he finally let the orgasm I wanted, and which had been so close all along, to finally overtake my mind, body and soul. As he sucked directly on my clit I arched my back and moaned as tears sprang to my eyes, "Oh yes Jeff! I'M CUMMING, OH YES I'M CUMMING! OH FUCK YES! NOW! OH FUCK!!! OH FUCK!! OH YES! JeffNNNN!! I'M CUMMINGG AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And I did! I had back to back orgasms!
I screamed as he continued to suck me even harder. I felt the strange sensation of muscles tightening uncontrollably inside of me and then contracting and as I felt my cum almost running out me, he still continued to eat my pussy. I felt like I was peeing but I knew I wasn't. My orgasm seemed to go on and on and on as Jeff continued to love and stimulate my pussy and body with his fingers, mouth and tongue.
I had my ass elevated up off the bed and as he sucked, my body was fucking on his face. I was cumming and someone else for the first time was getting me off. It was my first time and I fucking loved it! I knew right then that I had to have more of this, a lot more. I don't know how long he continued to work on me but slowly I began to come down from my first real set of orgasms given by another person.
I watched Jeff untie my bindings, and helped me up allowing me to come into the embrace of his arms. We sat facing each other and my legs were over his. I could see his enormous cock inches from my wet and opened pussy. I signed and said, "Oh Jeff, that was so wonderful!"
As he held me stroking my hair and kissing me tenderly, all inhibitions I had were gone. I was his and only wanted to show him the joy and pleasure I had felt. I kept looking down seeing his hard cock throbbing with his excitement. I kissed him briefly before saying, "My turn. Tell me and show me how to do you with my mouth."
And I lowered my face between his legs now and let my mouth and tongue taste his cock. As he leaned back on his elbows I looked at him and asked, "What do I do first?"
It was another first for me tonight. Jeff's cock was the first one I had ever touched and now I was going to taste it. First I licked the tip and then I sucked the tip into my mouth and continued to suck more and more of his long hard shaft in my mouth. As I pumped his cock in and out of my mouth he gave me direction. I pressed my lips against my teeth and pressed my mouth gently around his cock as I fucked his cock with my mouth. As I did, I got so excited that I felt a wild need to cum again. So I reached between my legs and started to rub my pussy with three fingers.
I moaned and as I sucked him and parted my thighs as I began to finger myself. He saw what I was doing and moved my fingers away and started to finger my pussy with his hand and fingers. "Oh FUCK Jeff… that feels so good. You have such a delicate touch!” I moaned between sucking his cock.
As I continued to suck his cock he was pushing more and more into my mouth. I now felt the tip of the cock head touch the back of my throat as my lips stretched around the fullness. He said, "Do you want to try and take it down your throat?"
As he fingered my pussy, I tried to take his cock head down my throat but choked too much and we stopped trying. I made a mental note to learn how to do that since it was something this wonderful gentle man seemed to like and wanted. He pulled it out all the way and told me, "Lick it right here."
He showed me that part of his shaft just under the mushroom head, on the underside of his cock that is the most sensitive. I did as he instructed and he then told me to feel his balls too. That they had to be handled gently but were a big part of his sex organ and should be sucked and licked too!
I had one hand holding his cock up towards the ceiling as I licked the underside of his cock and the one hand squeezed his balls lightly. I ran my hand up the shaft now and rubbed the pre cum dripping out the hole in the cock head over the tip and around the head. Then I licked the cock head.
He moaned and said, "Suck me Rachel! Fuck, you’re amazing. Harder suck it harder!"
As he held my head with both of his hands now he pushed my mouth down over his cock and I began sucking it again harder as he began to pump himself in and out of my mouth faster and faster. He continued pumping until he groaned "MMMM!! YES BABE! YES! OH FUCK!! SUCK IT! I'M GOING TO CUM! I'M GOING TO CUMMING! I'm GOING TO AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YES!!!!!!!"
I looked up into his eyes and could see the lust in them. He held my head and told me quickly as he pumped fast, "I'm going to cum in your mouth Rachel…”
“I want you to, Jeff,” I panted.
“Try and swallow it."
I nodded my head obediently with his cock still in my mouth getting thicker and harder. I continued to suck him and his moans were louder this time and I was sure he was nearing his own orgasm. I had never swallowed a guy's cum, or even let someone cum in my mouth for that matter, but I knew that I wanted to swallow his load. Just as I completed that thought I heard him groan. I felt his cock swell in my mouth, followed by hot jets of cum shooting out onto my tongue and into the back of my throat. The feeling was strange, but I found it quite easy to swallow his load. He continued to cum, so I kept swallowing every last drop that came out. As more and more cum filled my mouth I couldn't take it fast enough. His seed filled my mouth quicker than I could swallow.
I pulled my lips off his fat cock head gasping for air. His hand covered my hand. He was jerking my hand up and down as fast as he could go. I squeezed his hard shaft as I pulled my mouth off his cock head! The last few shots of Jeff's cum splashed on my chest and ran down over my chin and tits toward my stomach.
I continued pumping his cock until the cum stopped. I lowered myself again to lick the tip clean, not enjoying the taste as much as I did before. I would have to acquire this new taste so I could take more and please him. But, I knew I would take his cum whenever he wanted me to suck him off.
Surprisingly, his cock didn't soften but seemed ready for more. Gently Jeff lay me back on the bed and spread my legs very wide again. "I will be as gentle as possible Rachel, but I need to be inside you…", he said as he began rubbing my clit and slit once more with his hard cock head. I knew this was it! This was when I would stop being a virgin! He was now going to fuck me… pop my cherry… take my virginity from me.
"Oh Jeff! I'm ready, I'm so wet… I’m so ready… you won't hurt me.”
He stopped.
“But it will hurt…”
“Please? Just fuck me!" I pleaded. I wanted it so bad and now I had the one man who I felt would take my cherry as gently as he could. As I spread my legs wide he held my legs wide with my knees bent. He told me to guide his cock into my pussy hole. I did. I moved his hard cock head to my opening and told him, "I need this… I need you… I give my virginity to you."
This was probably a very bad idea. He wasn’t even wearing a condom. I wrestled with that thought for about one second, then his cock settled between my legs, the length of his shaft pressing against my wet folds, his hands on my hips.
Oh fuck he felt good. So soft yet firm, so wide and warm. Ooh, my whole body tingled. Nothing else felt like this.
He groaned and rubbed his shaft on me, bathing his cock in my slick folds. "Oh fuck that feels good," he breathed.
"Mmmmph," I agreed. I should probably tell him to stop before this got any further, but maybe just a few more seconds.
Then the tip of his cock pressed at my entrance. I froze. He felt so big. My body vibrated with the need to feel him inside me, to swallow his cock into my depths, and feel him stroke my insides like he had been stroking my opening.
He had gone just as still. I heard him swallow right before he pushed.
His cock gently parted my lips and, with barely any resistance, began to slide into me.
My mind finally caught up with the situation. "Jeff, no! Stop!" I yelped even as my inner walls clenched around him. I tried to pull away, but his hands held my hips firmly in place.
He grunted but stopped with his cock just past my entrance. It felt amazing, so warm and big and hard. My body wanted more.
"S-sorry," he mumbled but didn't move.
I didn't want him to. Or rather, I wanted him to move in both directions at once, part of my mind screaming for him to get out and the other begging for him to plunge all the way in. Instead, I lay there, frozen in indecision.
He pushed again.
"No! Jeff! Please stop!" Just the tip was one thing, but if he buried himself inside me, I wouldn't be a virgin anymore.
He groaned and pulled back out, just resting the tip at my entrance again. "Sorry! You feel so good, so warm and tight. Sorry..."
I relaxed, my heart beating too fast. But it was ok, this was fine. He wasn't even inside me, just touching me.
After a few seconds, he swirled the bulbous tip around my slick folds, glided between my lips to my clit and back again. I moaned. He had felt so amazing inside me. Maybe... maybe just the tip was fine. It wasn't really fucking.
When his rounded head settled at my opening, I pushed, just a little. That bulbous head slowly stretched my outer folds until the tip was lodged just inside my wet walls. It felt amazing. The first cock inside me. A little thrill of pleasure rushed through me. It was just the tip, it barely counted, but still so good. I shuddered.
I mumbled, "J-just the tip, ok? No more. Ok? That's it. It feels good..."
He'd gone very still, as though he was surprised I'd say anything like that. I should be surprised too. I think somewhere, some tiny part of me was panicking, but I couldn't hear it.
He swallowed again and nodded jerkily. "O-ok. You feel good too."
His voice was strained. The slight danger that he might get carried away sent a jolt of warmth to my pussy, and I clamped down on him. My thighs quivered trying not to push again, to capture just one more inch.
No sex. Just the tip. No sex. Oh my God, but my body wanted all of it.
He groaned and nudged at my wet flesh, slipping an inch of his hard shaft into me.
"Ah! No!" I squealed but didn't move. He was panting into my hair, his body tense. He didn't move either.
"Jeff, just the tip!" I panted and bit my lip. I couldn't make myself pull away, my pussy clenching around him.
"Oh. Um. Nnh." He stopped but didn't move.
We held ourselves there, lust rolling over both of us, waiting for something to give. He didn't wait long, shifting as he oh-so-slowly withdrew his cock back to my entrance, then gently forced my lips to swallow that round tip again, savoring every moment.
"Jeff..." God, it felt good but I couldn't let him fuck me.
He groaned and stopped again. I could hear his deep breaths, feel how tightly his fingers were digging into my hips as he tried to hold back.
"Y-you should stop now," I mumbled. My pussy was squeezing him. Oh wow, it felt nice and big, stretching me so beautifully. I wanted more, I wanted to be filled up.
I'm not sure if he heard me. He was probably busy fighting his urge to ram his cock all the way in and give me a good, hard fucking.
I shivered at how wonderful that sounded.
My pussy kept pulsing on his shaft, trying to hold him in no matter how much I should be pushing him out. He could probably feel me throbbing around him.
He pulled out again and I sighed as he held still with just the bulbous tip kissing my pussy lips. He stayed there and panted for a minute.
I couldn't help myself. His round knob felt so good sitting there between my parted folds, so tempting. I wiggled a little, felt that large head pop in again. Just the tip. Oooh. I squeezed it, imagining it sliding in further and further. Oh...
He tensed. I was too busy concentrating on how good his cock felt inside me to realize that his hands on my hips had shifted, that the bed had moved as he repositioned, and now he was ready to piston into me. He held still as long as he could.
"It’s time, Rachel... I’m going to... put it all the way inside you now," he said as he shuffled away.
My lust-filled brain took a second to register what he said.
“I know how much this means to you…” he panted as he jerked himself back to full hardness while lustfully staring at my young body. “Turn around with your face down and your ass in the air”. I felt my pussy prepare itself as I assumed tis new position on the bed. I wanted this older man more than I wanted anything in my life. I would do anything he asked of me.
His hands followed the flowing curves of my ass, over my hips then up my waist to my breasts, hanging now from my chest, just brushing against the bed sheets, sending shivers down my spine. One hand explored my neck, my ear, my hair… while the other reached around to tweak and tease my hard nipples before moving down and carefully prising apart my smoothly waxed folds. One finger rested on my hard clit without moving, but he pulled it away after feeling how my pussy was dripping with wanton lust for him.
He suddenly bent his knees upward and between mine, spreading my legs wide open around him. My breath caught in my chest as he slowly but surely edged forward until the large shiny head of his cock was pressed between my puffy pussy lips. Tiny movements rubbed the tip of his shaft against my clit and I moaned with frustration and desperate desire for my big strong boyfriend. When I made the sound his hand quickly covered my mouth and he stuffed three fingers in, pulling my jaw downward and making me pant as he realigned his hot thick cock with my vagina and slid forward to penetrate his gasping girlfriend deeply.
He rubbed the tip of his magnificent cock in my juices and then gently pushed the head between my swollen labia moving it past the inner lips and inside my hole. I watched as it inched its way into me. He stopped often to see if I was OK before going any further. As he met the barrier, he backed off and asked, "Ready?"
I moaned yes and he thrust forward and broke my cherry. I bit my lip as a sharp pain hit me followed by waves of unbelievable excitement. As I whimpered slightly he asked, "Are you OK Rachel?"
I said, "Yes… I want this… take me!"
He smiled and told me, "The worst is over Rachel. Now we can make love. Now I can show you what you have been missing all these years."
As he told me that, he had pushed all of his manhood deep inside me and held his cock almost completely still inside me. As he buried it all the way now I moaned from the thrill, which had taken over the little pain. Oh God he was all the way inside of me. I looked into his eyes and told him, "Ohhhhhh fuuuuuuck… oh you feel so good inside me."
Slowly but without pausing he pushed forward until the whole length of his organ was buried in my hot pussy, with my pink and swollen outer lips forced wide open and my tight little hole stretched obscenely around the base of his veiny shaft. I knew as he sank into me that he was forcing his penis up through the remnants of my hymen. He paused there, enjoying the erotic view and the physical sensations of his young girlfriend splayed open and stuffed full in front of him, his cock in her pussy and fingers in her mouth, as she groaned with pleasure at being taken like this.
After a delicious pause, I felt him slowly withdraw his cock from my pussy and the veins and ridges of his shaft massaged my inner walls. Just as I was about to whimper at the sudden empty feeling, he reversed the motion and sank back into my vaginal canal, which rippled around his shaft. He nuzzled his face in the back of my neck and kissed my back tenderly, but there was no let-up in his accelerating acquisition of my tight young pussy. My boyfriend held me tightly as he continued to enter me and then withdraw again, over and over, our sweaty skin making quiet noises as we rubbed together.
At its deepest point of penetration, his penis completely filled and stretched my young vagina and nudged against my cervix at the end. I had never had a lover before him but, as his large testicles pressed rhythmically against my most intimate skin, I counted myself very lucky to have found someone to be my first who had such a large and satisfying member.
With one hand I reached back to stroke his face and feel his soft hair as he continued to make me his own in the most natural and primal way. His movements were getting much faster and there was a growing urge deep in my belly as his veiny organ rubbed against the moist walls of my pussy. It felt so right to be cradled in his arms as he took possession of my body, and my arousal was dribbling down from our intertwined genitalia to moisten his testicles and my squeezable little arse cheeks.
He reached around and found my hard clitoris with two fingers, rolling it between them as he thrust his swollen organ into me and kissed my neck. I somehow knew this was a sign he was reaching his climax and he wanted me to cum before him. I pushed his hand away and arched my back as much as I could, which changed the angle of my pussy and allowed him more room to penetrate me with increasing speed and force. He grunted softly with each insertion and I mimicked his movements with my own arse in order to maximise the depth and force of his cock's invasion.
As I pushed my hips up to meet him he began to move his beautiful, lovely, sexy fantastic cock in and out of my vagina. Oh fuck everything he told me was true. It felt so wonderful. Much better than masturbation ever did. Much better than oral sex did too. This is what my pussy was designed for; to take a man's cock then take possession of a man's precious seed. As he pumped away I rocked my hips trying to match his movements and give him the same feeling! Oh fuck. So this was what fucking was, pure rapture, pure passion and pure lust! I felt the need to rock my body and fuck him as hard as he was fucking me. MY need and lust had never been higher. I screamed. "OH fuck yes Jeff fuck me faster! Harder fuck me harder!"
Soon I was completely filled with his cock every two seconds he would slam it into me again, and again and again as my juices flowed and it became easier for him to pump and pump in and out of me. I arched my back and lifted my hips as he pumped into me. I wrapped my legs around him and squeezed his body as my pussy squeezed his shaft internally. As I rocked my hips in time with his thrusts, we both began moving closer and closer towards an orgasm.
Oh Fuck, how I enjoyed the feeling of my first cock, his cock, so hard, so long and so dam thick inside of me. When I felt another orgasm approaching I screamed out with my joy and arched my ass up as hard as I could. I used my hips to rotate on his cock as the muscles of my pussy automatically clenched around his shaft milking it. My orgasm had taken control of my body and was fucking him hard and fast!
I squealed with overwhelming pleasure and shut my eyes as my vaginal canal clenched and squeezed around my boyfriend's thick penis and an orgasm spread from my genitals throughout my tingling body. The pleasure inundated my whole body and I wriggled and shivered in his arms as he brought me to climax and held me tight in his arms the whole time.
After a few more thrusts, Jeff was on the brink of orgasm and I grasped his hand tightly against my soft flesh, opening my legs and pushing my ass into the air to allow the deepest penetration of my pussy so far. After two more movements of his hips, Jeff grabbed my waist and pressed down, impaling me onto his throbbing organ as he began to ejaculate powerfully into the depths of my vaginal canal.
He moaned in relief as his semen spurted into my pussy, streaming into my deepest parts and filling me up, marking me as his willing and grateful partner. Jeff’s member kept on pulsing out thick creamy cum and his hands made marks in the soft skin of my thighs as he continued to press me down onto him so that every drop of semen was propelled into my eager young pussy. Will ejaculated such a volume of semen that it completely flooded my vagina and started to leak out around the root of his thick cock, mixing with the sweat and my own sexual fluids on my smooth bald pussy lips. I sighed in ecstasy as my pussy brimmed with the frothy ejaculate of my muscular boyfriend and I relaxed against his chest.
Jeff repeated my name, over and over again, like a ritualistic chant. It sounded so sexy. I could feel his warm thick cum fill me and overflow as he pumped himself gently in and out of me. I cried out my lover's name in reply as we slammed our bodies together again and again and again as the sexal bliss took me to a place of warmth and wonder. We held our bodies tight against each other as we rocked together finishing cumming. Jeff slumped on top of me, still pressing his penis down to the very bottom of my vagina, seemingly satisfied with the generous load he had pumped into my tight young body.
Finally, our joint climaxes began to drift away. We held each other for a very long time in the afterglow of our union…my first time. Being taken sexually for the first time by my powerful mate had made me unbelievably sexually aroused and even more completely in love with him. I could not wait to explore this new dominant side of my boyfriend's personality and hoped he would exercise his physical superiority over me again and again.
Later after taking a shower and holding each other close we finally got around to eating that dinner we took home. He made me sit with him nude and I didn't care at all now that he could see my tits or pussy. I would have bent over and showed him my tiny little ass hole if he would have asked me! I was truly his to do with as he felt. I would do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. This was the beginning of a mutually satisfying sex life for one young woman who was previously pure and completely inexperienced. It was this older man who had shown her the way. I knew he wanted more of me and I certainly wanted all of him.
#lovers#fucking#rachel#her pov#unprotected sex#her perspective#her point of view#first time#Rachel's Cherry#losing virginity#Popped cherry
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“AND MY HEART SCREAMS: IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU”
— the moment dazai, chuuya, kunikida, fyodor, nikola, ranpo, and fukuzawa knew they wanted to spend their entire life with you
DAZAI OSAMU: the moment he revealed his scars to you—scars that told of the past, details of the past, details that he thought he would never reveal. there were multiple outcomes, but his lonesome heart forced him to expect only one: you getting disgusted and perhaps even refusing to stay any longer. he wouldn’t blame you if you did.
so imagine his surprise when your eyes held nothing but sympathy and the utmost tenderness as you gently kissed his scars and whispered only one sentence, ‘I just wanted to be able to be by your side then’. what was he supposed to do other than pull you close and embrace you tightly, burying his face in your hair to hide a face that failed this once to master the mask?
NAKAHARA CHUUYA: when you went out of your way to prepare an unwinding night for the both of you. chuuya loves his with his entire heart and trusts with his entire being. and he sometimes doesn’t know just what to expect from people. so seeing you put so much effort into ensuring his happiness and your own had a certain hold on his heart.
he loves you unconditionally so when you responded to that love with the same intensity, he couldn’t help but gravitate towards you even more. he falls harder, but you’re there to catch him a smile. he approaches you, unaware of what will slip out of his mouth—a desire that has been on his mind for far longer that he thinks, “marry me,” he whispers, gentle and hopeful eyes looking at your own.
KUNIKIDA DOPPO: he is a man who sticks to his ideals and those ideals are to protect others not himself. it pained you, seeing him so ready to sacrifice himself to try and follow up to said ideals till the end. so you held his hand, crying about how you don’t want him to be so careless with himself and that your heart can’t handle seeing him choose his own death as a solution anymore.
he found himself breaking down and pulling you into a tight embrace, constantly murmuring ‘I am sorry’ with kisses pressed on top of your head and reassuring that he will always stay with you. your hold on him doesn’t falter as you feel his tears and he feels his heart getting even more fond of you, his dear true love.
FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY: entertainment is something he loves, but it surprises him when he can’t handle entertainment at your expense. when he goes through his plans, even when the most ‘fun’ option involves you, he doesn’t choose it. he finds himself unable to put you in danger he knows he can avoid.
he doesn’t fight the place you have acquired in his heart; instead, he goes to you and his head finds home on your lap. his hand caresses your own and he looks at you with longing like you’re the epitome of what he truly wants for himself. a gentle whisper of your name and you look towards him and he finds sanctity in your gaze. the true form of purity: your love that he succumbs to and accepts as a part of his being.
NIKOLAI GOGOL: when you showed him that you truly understand or even try to him. you don’t call him a maniac or a monster; instead, you smile patiently, heart open for him, and ask him to tell you more. and he does. words spill out of his mouth in an unbelievable speed, thoughts—a jumbled mess—are thrown into the air and you listen.
emotions—the shackles of humans—overwhelm him in a way that he is surprised that he doesn’t hate. His legs grow weak and he falls at your feet, screaming, crying, and repeating a mantra of I love you. when he does calm down, he takes your hand and puts it on his face. he is now held back by love, shackled by you. he knows and he—somehow—doesn’t mind. he just sinks deeper.
EDOGAWA RANPO: when you slept in the office, beside him, while he was planning their next move. it is not often that ranpo actually works. so, it wouldn’t have made him upset if you left because with all his confidence, he values your smile the most. but you stayed, you always did. ‘y/n, you can go back home you know,’ he had murmured, patting your head with a small grin, but you just told him to shut up and you cuddled closer to him.
it’s not the first time you hugged, but, for some reason, this certain hug had him tightening his arms around you before shouting about how he needs to get done quicker so his sleeping beauty can rest properly with an undeniably lovesick and joyful grin on his face.
FUKUZAWA YUKICHI: when you patted his head with a murmur that you trust him. in the eyes of others, it is ultimately meaningless and silly. yet, to him, that single gesture meant the world. and behind closed doors, he rests at ease, knowing his heart is in your hands.
he dotes on others like a strict father, yet when the same affection and trust is thrown at him, he can’t help but smile helplessly while you stroke his hair and pull him close. he also feels his heart set ablaze when he sees you laughing and pulling on his hand, wanting him to join whatever fun you’re having. and he follows you, like he always did and always will—with a smile so serene it tugs at your own heart.
taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @dazaisdeathwish @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-1 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @starlostlaiba @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @dazaisbloodybandages @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @the-midnightskies @pianopuppygirl @waosobii @nanamikentoseyebags
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do not copy or plagiarize or I will dislocate your shoulders
#dazai x y/n#dazai fluff#dazai x you#dazai x reader#chuuya fluff#chuuya x reader#chuuya x y/n#kunikida x reader#kunikida x you#kunikida fluff#fyodor x y/n#fyodor x reader#fyodor fluff#nikolai x you#nikolai x reader#bsd nikolai#ranpo x reader#ranpo x you#ranpo headcanons#fukuzawa x reader#fukuzawa yukichi#bsd fukuzawa
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Love to Hate You ♡
(Charlie Dalton x Fem Reader)
Enemies to Lovers Oneshot!
Warnings: Swearing, 1950’s stereotypes (purity, clothing style, cigarettes), mentions of neglect, immature high school drama, talk of paddling at school, dumb pranks, kissing, romance, teen partying, suggestive flirting, mention of a diet, moral grayness, parental issues, arguing, drinking, jealously, reader possesses slight anger issues, Neil lives and all is well.
Synopsis: The highly regarded Welton Academy has two buildings, one strictly for girl students, and the other for young boys. By a turn of events, they all end up having to share study hall together in the afternoons. (Y/n), your typical rich, hyper-feminine prima donna, thinks she’s in charge of Welton Academy. With her squeaky clean reputation and unwavering confidence, surely no one will ever see her sweat. However, being the drama queen that she is, she takes her first encounter with Charlie Dalton as a personal attack. Teenage chaos ensues. ~
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•゚。 *
Authors Note: Hello! I just got into DPS, and I don’t write very much, so be gentle. This was originally supposed to be a dumb little blurb I wrote without intent to post. Short and silly. Obviously it’s based on the movie, but I also made it my own. Reader is referred to as a female, woman, and girl. She/Her pronouns used. It’s mentioned once that the reader has hair, but other than that, if something doesn’t feel neutral as far as the reader’s appearance, please let me know. Feel free to request! :)
Dramatic Princess Society
꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎
To say you were a diva was a staggering understatement. Everyone who graced your presence could see that you were in control of any room you happened to wander into. You weren’t a princess; you were the princess. A fond nickname you’d developed as well. You were never afraid to say whatever was on your mind, and you figured that really wasn’t such a bad thing. You just knew what you wanted, and that was all.
It didn’t help that your wealthy parents constantly fed into your ego, insistently showering you with lavish clothes and gifts to distract you from the fact that they only saw their child a few times a year. The only time your mother really gave you any guidance or contacted you at all was to ask about your diet or your clothing size, which was honestly fine by you. You had a social hierarchy to rule over, and that kept you plenty busy. Yeah, you were vain, and maybe even a bit too proud, but if anyone had the right to be, it was certainly you.
Your parents had pushed you into doing all sorts of extracurricular activities throughout your childhood and adolescence. They put a lot of weight on status and education, so failure just wasn’t an option in their eyes. You were meant to sit above everyone else at all times with a crown fixed on your head. Maybe if you could accomplish that, then you’d have to be good enough in their eyes.
What most people didn’t usually see, however, was the bleeding heart beneath all of that pompous prestige. Just below the surface, there was a young girl who wanted the same thing every other teenager so desperately did: to be accepted. But no one was going to knock down that wall you’d built.
On par for the course, you attended Welton Academy, one of the most distinguished prep schools in the country, made strictly for young women like yourself. The catch was that just across the lake from your school, there was another high school identical to your own, except it was made for young men instead.
The girl’s building was a fairly recent addition to the school grounds themselves. The schools weren’t necessarily close in proximity, but they were close enough that you could always see the opposing building. On the rare occasion of a mixed assembly, the Welton staff were always swift to pull you in opposite directions when the event had ended. There would be absolutely no one partaking in any premarital activities on their watch. The adults around you were very strict in that regard.
“What do you think the boys are doing over there right now?” Your roomate Maddie wondered aloud, her elbows propped up on the seal of your dorm window as she ogled dreamily across the lake.
You gave a teasing scoff as you turned away from your chemistry work to face her. “Probably using binoculars to stare at our building.”
“You think?” She chirped in almost a hopeful tone, glancing over her shoulder at you.
Your eyes nearly rolled out of your head. “That would not be a good thing, Madison. They’re a bunch of little perverts, and everyone knows it.”
“Maybe I should wear prettier night gowns,” She mused, ignoring your input completely.
You groaned. “Gross. Please just close the shutters.”
“At least you said ‘please’ for once,” Madison grumbled, doing just as you’d told her before deciding to turn in for the night.
You sighed, playing with a strand of your hair. “Madison. They’re just boys; I promise you, they don’t have anything special.”
Once you heard Maddie’s mischievous giggle, you already knew where she was about to go with that statement.
“Oh, I’d beg to differ on that one.”
You waved a dismissive hand in her direction.
“Well, maybe if you weren’t so uptight, then boys wouldn’t be so scared of you all the time,” She laughed.
You looked over at her again, brows raised. “Ha! That’s the way I like it,” You hummed, shrugging your shoulders as you inspected the polish on your nails. “But who could really blame them? I’m pretty intimidating, if I do say so myself.
Now it was Maddie’s turn to roll her eyes. “Whatever you say, princess,” She said, bowing theatrically before flopping back on her pillow. “Can you cut the lights off already? You’ve been looking at that forever.”
“Oh, I have to say ‘please’, but you don’t?” You huffed, but obliged anyway.
Cutting off your lamp, you followed Maddie’s lead and crawled beneath your own blankets, curling into a cozy little ball. Your eyes lingered on the ceiling for a while before you finally drifted off. You couldn’t stop yourself from wondering if there really was anything interesting about the boys over there. You doubted it, but you wouldn’t know unless you saw for yourself. Perhaps they could make things a little less boring in your current life. As much as you appreciated all the praise from your female peers, it was getting a little tired.
The next afternoon, it was nearing the end of the school day when you were sitting in Mrs. Newman’s class, daydreaming about your next salon appointment before dismissal. That’s when the older woman made an extremely important announcement to the class. Apparently, the boy’s library was under some new renovations, and as such, all of the boys who still wanted to attend study hall were instructed to use the girl’s library in your building until construction was over.
Your eyes widened when you heard the news, and you’d never admit it, but your heart also sped up a little at the thought. A few coy giggles echoed through the room as Mrs. Newman spoke.
“Now, ladies,” Your senile instructor boomed, scanning the room with a very firm look on her face. “I expect nothing but professional behavior from you all, and anything to the contrary will not be taken lightly. Do you all understand?”
“Yes, Mrs. Newman,” The class cooed in unison, not sounding nearly convincing enough.
You never thought you’d live to see the day Welton Academy would actually allow males and females to mingle. Hell had finally frozen over, you thought.
Newman kept a narrow eye on all of you as she dismissed class, but none of you seemed to pay her any mind. You were all too busy laughing and gossiping about what it would be like to merge study hall with boys. You must’ve heard your name being called a hundred times as you made your way to your locker.
“(Y/n)! (Y/n)! Did you hear?! We get to be with the boys every single day for the next few weeks!” A freshman girl named Rachel beamed as she approached.
The mundane expression never left your face. “Duh, of course I did. That’s all anyone’s talked about for the last five minutes.”
She deflated a bit. “Oh. Right. Um, I like your makeup today, by the way… Always, really.”
“Of course, Rach. You know me,” You remarked, stopping to fiddle with the combination on your locker. You could see her grin from your peripheral as she started to turn away.
“Alright, well, I’ll see you later, (Y/n)!”
You wiggled your fingers in her direction as you sorted through the books you wanted for study hall. You liked Rachel; she had great fashion sense, but she was a little too boy-obsessed for you, even worse than Maddie. You refused to give young men so much of your attention. They should be excited to see you, not the other way around. You’d never judge her or anyone else for it, but there was no way you were going to be dubbed a ‘tramp’ and end up being an outcast from your social groups. At least that’s what your parents told you would happen. So a boy would need to have something truly magical in order to make you break a sweat over them.
As you gripped your stack of books and began making your way to the now highly sought-after library, a small group of girls began trailing close behind you, a couple of them throwing affirmations your way about your hair or outfit. A few of them you knew, a few you didn’t, but at least you never had to worry about sitting alone.
“(Y/n), I love your pink socks.”
“Thanks. You know I just can’t be bothered with their horrid dress code. The patterns on the skirts are bad enough.”
“(Y/n), where did you get your bag?”
“Don’t remember. I just grabbed one this morning.”
“(Y/n), are you going to talk to any boys?”
“They can come up and talk to me if they want.”
“If they dare,” Maddie laughed, amplifying the string of constant giggles behind you.
You had your hand on the library door, ready to push it open, when a high-pitched voice startled you by crying, “Wait!”
You pulled away, immediately recognizing a sophomore named Jenny as she rushed over, peaking her head through the window of the large double doors.
“Ohmygosh,” She whispered. “They’re really in there.”
The group laughed, but you simply nudged her aside. “Please, Jen. Of course they are.”
“Oh! Let me pick where to sit!” Maddie begged with her sad brown eyes.
You thought about it briefly and ultimately caved in to her request. She cheered as she took a turn looking through the window, scanning each male specimen with great precision. A few women were in the library already, but not too many just yet. You tapped your foot impatiently, staring at the side of Maddie’s head while you waited on her decision.
“Pick cute ones to sit by!” A little red-headed girl commented, and the rest of them whispered amongst themselves in agreement.
You huffed, stamping your foot a bit as you began to push by your classmates. “For God’s sake, women, can we pull ourselves together a bit? Maddie Garcia, you’ve got two seconds before I pick for you.”
“Okay! Okay!” She squealed. “Um… That one! That table right there.” You stepped beside her, observing the large table that she’d pointed out. It was only half full, with one side harboring a fairly normal-looking group of young men, and the other side vacant.
“Fine. Perfect.”
Giving the entrance a quick shove, the group began filing in to the library one by one. Maddie and Rachel stayed by your side in order to get a closer look at the scope of people, and the rest of them hung behind you shyly. If the boys weren’t looking your way already, they certainly were after you haphazardly dropped your pile of books on the table. The rest of the girls sheepishly sorted out which chairs to take, making sure to leave a space between them and any boys. Almost instantly, you began burying yourself in your chemistry book, ignoring the girl’s whispering and the boy’s eyes that were burning holes in your head. You couldn’t believe all that fuss was just for them to not even talk to a single male in the room. You simply had no time for the nonsense.
After a while, everyone seemed to settle in and get back to their books and homework like normal, but every minute or so, Maddie would tap on you and ask, “What about that one? Is he cute?”, only for you to look over and shrug. More and more students came through during the hour. The library had stayed surprisingly quiet, so you figured the boys must be on their best behavior in the new environment. They were very careful not to say anything too loudly about any of you, though you knew what they were probably talking about when they lowered their voices. It was fine by you as long as they weren’t being overly distracting.
Your friends, on the other hand, weren’t doing anything with their time except yammering on; their books were open to a random page in the hopes that none of the teachers would actually notice. That day probably set a record for how many students attended study hall in Welton history, and the ironic part was hardly anyone was studying.
“Hey, (Y/n)?” A girl named Tayla asked, catching your attention.
You looked up at her in acknowledgment, so she continued. “How do you always keep from getting in trouble during Mr. Baker’s class?”
You thought about it for a second and laughed. “Well, you see, if you misbehave in a male teacher’s class, but you simultaneously wear a skirt that’s two sizes too small, then they won’t paddle you. None of them would dare make you bend over in a skirt that short.”
And you were right; teachers wouldn’t paddle you if your clothing seemed too short, so you always made sure wear clothing from previous school years if you were planning on causing problems. It may have been a shoddy thing for you to do, but so was hitting your students with an object, you thought. At least this way you could laugh about it.
A few of them giggled, one calling you a ‘genius’ in a playful manner. However, you could see from across the table that a few of the boys had suddenly turned rather crimson, and you knew it was likely from your conversation. You couldn’t fault them, because you weren’t exactly being quiet. Though you wouldn’t concern yourself with it either. If they were embarrassed, that was their problem.
A toothy smile graced your lips as you returned to your book, feeling oddly triumphant in your “advice”. But alas, you couldn’t revel in it; you had chemistry work that desperately needed your attention as well. Your parents would have your head if your grades proved any less than perfect.
You’d sat at the head of the table, trying your best to focus for at least a few minutes once everyone had gone quiet. However, rather than focusing on chemistry formulas, you’d slowly started to take notice of a young brunette who sat opposite you. He wasn’t doing anything particularly special, just chewing gum and trying to kick one of his friends under the table, not paying much mind to the new female table-mates. One of his classmates had called him “Charlie”, which was a name you actually recognized. You’d definitely heard a few of the girls talk about him before, and his not-so-appropriate stories.
You took a moment to observe the details of his face and the way he interacted with his friends, your work now long forgotten. He seemed so confident and loud, clearly a class clown as well. His boyish features were pretty charming, if you had to admit it. Soft and mischievous at the same time. The uniform looked handsome on him too. His looks and mannerisms definitely made you want to get to know him a bit better.
Suddenly, the same male you were admiring cleared his throat in a loud, dramatic sort of fashion, catching everyone at the table’s attention. He made quite a show of folding his hands out in front of him on the table, leaning toward you with direct eye contact, so you knew that whatever he was about to say, he was talking to you.
You cocked a brow at the boy, clueless as to what he could possibly be drawing so much attention for.
“Ma’am, since I don’t see any paint or an easel in front of you, I’m going to have to ask that you refrain from staring, please. Not that I don’t enjoy it, but it is very distracting at the moment,” He explained in mock concern, smiling in almost a taunting sort of fashion.
Your eyes blew wide, your jaw all but dropping to the floor as everyone who was listening turned to see your reaction. A few other tables had heard the disturbance as well. Your back suddenly straightened, and you opened and closed your mouth a few times in an attempt to defend yourself, but nothing came out. Normally, you’d fire off something snarky in return, maybe even insulting, but instead, your mind was rendered completely blank. It was strange, really. Sex and everything related to it were extremely taboo, especially with the way you’d been raised. It was one thing when you were talking to your female peers, but having a male address you in that sort of manner was kind of petrifying.
Your cheeks burned with humiliation from all the giggles that met your ears. His gaze never left yours as a huge smirk began to paint his features, causing you to avert your eyes. You couldn’t remember when you became so shy.
“I, uh...” Your eyes darted around to various on-looking students. “Whatever,” you muttered, propping your book up in a way that would block most people from seeing your face.
A symphony of “Ooo’s” echoed from all around you, the group of boys laughing as they playfully punched their friend on the shoulder. Only one boy in a vest who sat closest seemed to give Charlie a displeased look. Some of your own friends began poking you and laughing themselves. Your skin was on fire. You hardly even interacted with men in your day to day life, much less experienced this. You were mortified. You could only take it for a few more moments before you stood straight up from your chair, slamming your chemistry book. Charlie and a couple of your friends were the only ones who noticed the tantrum you were throwing, and Maddie stood to follow you as you made your way out of the library.
You practically stomped out of the room, never once looking behind you. “Who the hell even is that? Who does he think he is talking to me that way? This is why they shouldn’t be over here,” You ranted, directing it toward Maddie, even though she hadn’t caught up to you yet.
Before the door could shut behind both of you, someone had flung it open once more. You turned to see if the rest of the girls were following you, only to be met with his face again. You groaned and began walking faster to your locker.
“Hey!” The boy laughed, hurrying to catch you. “Hey, hold on-”
You didn’t answer, the click of your heels being the only noise you made. Maddie didn’t say anything either, but she watched the two of you with suspicious eyes.
“Wait a second,” He urged, attempting to grab your sleeve before you swatted him away.
“Who do you think you are, exactly?” You snapped, suddenly spinning on your heel to face him. He nearly tripped over his feet to stop himself from running into you.
“Uh, I think I’m Charlie,” he stated, taking a couple steps backward.
Your eyes narrowed. “And what do you want? Why are you trying to humiliate me?”
Charlie stared at you for a second, then let out a small chuckle as he began rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. “Ah, I see. You’re one of those types.”
“Excuse me?” You seethed, digging your nails into your textbooks. “One of what type? Nobody is like me, not even close, so get that straight.”
The male put his hands up in defense. “Now, I didn’t mean it like that, babe.”
Throwing him a fake laugh, you rolled your eyes and continued the journey to your dorm. “Babe? I’m not your babe; my name is (Y/n). Now go torture some other girl.”
Charlie stuffed his hands in his pockets as he watched you walk away, glancing over at Maddie, who had yet to follow you again. "Well, now I have to torture her,” he said.
“Good luck with that. She’s, like, the queen of Welton,” Maddie laughed. “Although, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody work her up that much before.”
Charlie hummed, fixed on the spot you once stood. “Well, then the king himself will just have to take that as a challenge.”
.
The next few days went by with you avoiding study hall like the plague, no matter how much any of the other girls begged you to go. You were sick, you were hungry, you were tired—anything it took to avoid him until you were certain the whispers had died down. You hated his cocky demeanor. You were the only one who should be cocky at Welton. Of course, the rumor of your “crush” had made its rounds by now, much to your dismay. Maddie told you she’d heard some of the boys talking about it as well. The majority of girls just couldn’t shut up about how cute you’d be together with one the “poetry nerds”.
You must’ve been asked a dozen times if you and Charlie were dating, and for once you wished people would stop paying so much attention to you. That was the point where you’d had enough. There was no way you were going to let people think you had a thing for that clown, absolutely no way. You knew he just liked to flirt with every girl anyway, so his advances meant nothing to you. He had embarrassed you on purpose, and you were going to make damn sure you returned the favor someday. These were your school grounds, not his, and not anybody else’s either. Mr. Nolan, the old bat, could take that fact and shove it for all you cared.
The day you finally went back to study hall was on a Friday. There was a chemistry test on Monday morning, and no matter how much you detested it, you really could’ve used one of the boys’ help to study. This chapter of Chemistry was your weak point, and you’d heard a lot of good things about a boy called “Meeks” and his godlike abilities in that realm. You’d seen him sitting around Charlie on that fateful day, which troubled you at first, but once you thought about it for a while, an idea started forming in your brain. That’s where your friend Rachel came in.
Rachel had an affinity for lizards, frogs, and any other small creature that crawled along the ground, which was just perfect for you. You just hoped Charlie loved lizards as much as she did. By the time Friday afternoon had rolled around, you all but dragged Rachel out and down to the library. You could tell she was very unsure, but went along with you anyway.
You stopped and turned to her right outside the doors. “Did you catch one?”
“Yeah,” she sighed, crouching down to fish through her bag.
After a moment, she stood, holding out her hand to reveal a small lizard gently clenched in her grasp. You grinned a wide, maniacal grin, carefully taking the creature from her hands. He was small enough that he would hopefully go undetected for a while, which is exactly what you wanted.
“Thanks, Rach. Alright, c’mon, let’s go,” You instructed, holding the creature in one hand behind your back.
“Ok—ay,” Rachel replied, trialing behind you with your chemistry books in hand.
You strutted right through the room and towards Steven Meeks’ table, ignoring any whispers you heard along the way. Sure enough, Charlie was sitting right beside the Meeks boy, laughing at something his friend had said.
Perfect.
As you approached, most of the table’s attention had turned your way. Charlie immediately plastered that smug look across his face at the sight of you. You scowled at first, but quickly switched your expression to something nice and welcoming as you looked toward Steven, leaning down to his level once you were beside him.
“Hello, gentlemen. Do you mind if I steal your friend Steven for a moment? Rachel and I are seriously clueless when it comes to chemistry, and we need some help for our test Monday,” You explained in a sugary sweet tone, intentionally placing your hand on Meeks’ shoulder. You knew they would fold like wet paper at your request.
The group exchanged several glances with one another, during which, you took the opportunity to place your lizard friend into Charlie’s uniform coat, carefully planting him where he’d likely go down rather than out the top.
“Uh, yeah, alright, sure,” Meeks agreed, gathering up his things and rising from his chair. Rachel chuckled awkwardly, giving a timid “Thank you” to the boy for his help. You couldn’t distinguish whether she was nervous about what you’d done or if Rachel actually had a thing for Meeks. Either way, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was getting to witness the events that unfolded when Charlie realized something besides him was moving in his clothes.
You and Rachel led Meeks to a vacant table off to the left and began setting up things to study. You could tell the boy was a bit nervous around you, but he but shook it off pretty quickly. You, however, were still too distracted with watching Charlie. Once Meeks noticed this, he chuckled, gaining your attention.
“What is it?” You questioned.
“It’s just that… I noticed you staring over there.”
You shot him a chilling glare.
“I was not staring at him!” You blurted a little too loudly. A few students glanced your way before going back to their work, making you take a breath and sit back in your chair. “I apologize. Continue, please.”
Rachel held in a laugh, but said nothing.
A few minutes had gone by before you finally caught a sign of Charlie feeling around in the sleeve of his clothes. You leaned forward in anticipation, waiting eagerly for some sort of panic to ensue. However, rather than panicking, Charlie stood up, removing his jackst and flipping it to search the inside. After some investigation, he found whatever he was looking for.
“Oh, man!” You heard Charlie exclaim as he pulled something from the article of clothing. “Guys, check this out.”
He seemed excited about it, much to your utter frustration. The group all gathered around to view the animal Charlie now held in his hand, all taking turns viewing the small reptile. You were fuming, now sunken down in your chair with your arms folded.
“Yeah, I wonder where he came from, too,” Charlie articulated louder than before, peering over his shoulder at you with a knowing look.
That cocky smile of his made you stand up so hard that your chair fell backwards. You snatched your book off the desk and started to walk out, not bothering to say anything other than, “I’m going to study in my room.”
“Okay,” Rachel squeaked as she and Meeks’ eyes followed you out the door.
Charlie couldn’t stop the laughter that nearly doubled him over as he witnessed you pretty much barrel through the door on your way out. You ignored him, walking briskly to your locker to grab another book, accidentally bumping into a few people on your way. Once you stopped in front of your locker door, a puzzled look replaced your once furious one. The combination lock on your locker had completely disappeared, initially making you think someone had stolen something out of it.
In a panic, you threw open the door to see what might be missing, but rather than finding an empty space, you found the exact opposite. The second you tore it open, an absolute mountain of paper came toppling out like a waterfall, making you shriek as they pooled all around your feet. You stood staring at the ground for a moment, desperately trying to process what just occurred. That’s when you heard footsteps approaching to your right. You didn’t even have to look to know who it was.
Charlie was stifling laughter as he closed in on you. Then he dug around in his front pocket for a moment before pulling out your missing lock and holding it towards you. “Figure you’d want this back,” he offered between chuckles.
“You put these here?” It came out as a statement rather than a question.
“Yeah, kinda like you put a lizard in my shirt. Funny coincidence. Mine was funnier, but I guess we’re even now, eh?”
You studied the inside of your locker for a second more before slamming it shut as hard as you could and pivoting on your heel to face him. His expression faltered a bit when he saw the rage evident in your features.
“Babe, hold on, it was just a jo-”
“How did you get my lock off of there?!” You roared, kicking papers away as you shoved your manicured finger right in his face.
Charlie smirked. “The same way I knew it was you who got that lizard in my blazer, I’m just smart, is all.” He didn’t seem too fazed, which angered you even further. “That was pretty corny, by the way. You should know that we men aren’t afraid of our own shadows like you ladies are.”
You thought your head was about to spin around.
“Afraid of our own shadows?! Are you aware that it was a girl who got the lizard in the first place, you hoity, lame, stupid, conceited-”
“Children!” An adult’s voice boomed from down the hall, making you both whip your heads in that direction.
“Shit,” You and Charlie whispered in unison.
“What on earth is going on here?! What’s all of this mess for?!” Mrs. Newman screeched as she advanced toward you, her brow carved into a deep, wrinkled frown.
You quickly began straightening your outfit, scanning your brain for an excuse to the papers.
“Well, Ma’am, I, uh- Um, Mr. Dalton here had accidentally bumped into me, and I dropped a bunch of papers on the ground,” You rushed out, flashing her an innocent smile as you flattened your skirt.
She gave you a skeptical look up and down, then turned her attention to Charlie. “Is that so? Then what’s with all the noise?”
Charlie coughed into the crook of his elbow before he spoke, giving himself a moment to think.
“Were we being loud? I’m so sorry, Mrs. Newman; we’ll keep our voices down. Won’t happen again, I promise.”
After contemplating it for a minute, she finally let the two of you off the hook, scolding you not to let it happen again and instructing Charlie to help you clean up. Once she was out of sight, the boy grinned at you, kneeling down to help you sort through the sheets of paper littering the floor. “You lied for me, babe?”
You could hear the satisfaction in his voice. “Don’t flatter yourself. I knew if I told on you, then you’d probably narc me out too.”
He paused for a second, then laughed under his breath. “You hardly look at me when we talk like this. Do I make you that nervous, babe?”
As soon as the words left his mouth, you reached over and kicked the foot he was balancing his weight on, effectively toppling him over. Charlie was quick to catch himself, though, cackling like it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen happen.
You stood to your full height, intending to leave him on the ground to fend for himself. “I told you to stop calling me that!”
“Hold on!” He cried rather dramatically, grabbing you by the hand while on his knees in front of you. “I’m sorry. How could I have ever upset the most amazing girl at Welton? A beautiful flame that I’ve tried to snuff out. Could you ever forgive me?”
It was almost weirdly poetic, but still very sarcastic.
Your expression couldn’t have been less amused than it was in that moment, but it quickly twisted into one of shock and horror as the boy leaned forward and planted a curt kiss on your knuckles, still staring up at you with a look that feigned remorse. Those auburn eyes froze you in place for just a moment before you finally snapped out of it, tearing your hand away. The recoil of your action caused you to stumble back a step, which Charlie was thoroughly entertained by, of course.
You shook your head. “Ugh! Can you just stop messing with me, Dalton?! There’s a hundred other girls here; try one of them.”
As much as you hated it, Charlie was right about one thing: You did have a difficult time meeting his gaze. Something about those eyes just made it frustratingly difficult for you to string the right words together. So instead, you scooped up your books and trudged back to your dorm, leaving him surrounded by mounds of paper that still needed to be dealt with.
It seemed that the more irate you became, the more Charlie couldn’t help but laugh. Whatever the reason was, you were not amused in the slightest. You were really about to snap, and dumb little pranks weren’t going to alleviate your feelings. As the day crawled to an end, you took a shower, ate a snack, and eventually decided on going to Maddie’s house for the weekend. You figured it would do you some good to hang out and relax rather than staying at school, and it wasn’t as though your parents cared anyway.
Madison lived close by, and her parents would always come pick her up if she wanted. They were happy to have you since they got along well with your family, so it worked out perfect anytime you needed to get away. By the time you got there and caught up with her family for a bit, it had grown dark outside. She was quiet for a while as she put her things away and meandered around aimlessly, obviously stalling for something she wanted to say.
“So,” she finally said, drawing out the “o” at the end. Your eyes flickered up from your book to see Maddie fighting a smile, her hip cocked with one hand placed on top of it. “I heard about your locker.”
Your jaw clenched. “Maddie, let me stop you right there. I do not want to talk about it. I do not want to think about it. And it was hardly a joke at all; it was just stupid. I had no idea he’d actually pull something so dumb.”
She let out a breathy laugh and picked up a book of her own, beginning to immerse herself in its contents after plopping onto her bed. “Right, so stupid. It's almost as stupid as putting a lizard in someone’s clothes.”
Your nails nearly tore the page you were pretending to read. “I asked you to drop it. I do not want to talk about that man child anymore this weekend.”
“Actually, you didn’t ask,” She hummed. “And it’s funny, since he’s all you’ve wanted to talk about for the past week.”
“Is not!” You wailed, dropping your book on the desk to look at her.
Maddie blinked at you owlishly, though she was plenty used to your antics by now. “(Y/n), I know how much you adore drama, but don’t you think you’re being a touch dramatic here? He probably just likes you.”
“Well, he has a horrible way of showing it.”
“He’s a teenage boy, (Y/n).”
“I don’t care. You all are gonna make me take up smoking.”
She pursed her lips, observing you for a moment. “Are you sure you don’t think he’s kind of cute..?”
You heard the skepticism in her voice. “... Absolutely not.”
She didn’t acknowledge the fact that you hesitated for a split second, she just smiled and went back to reading. “Whatever you say, princess. I’d say you match each other’s egotism.” She paused for a second. “I was going to tell you something else, but now I forgot what it was.”
“Mm. That’s a shame; I would’ve really been interested to hear more of what you had to say,” You drawled, sarcasm dripping from your words.
She grinned. “Shut up, you-… Hold on, do you hear that?”
You glanced around. “What? It’s quiet.”
Maddie lived in a pretty wealthy neighborhood so everyone, including her parents, had turned in by half an hour ago. It stayed generally pretty mundane.
“Listen,” She said, walking to her window and moving the curtains. Both of you stilled as you strained to hear something, and sure enough, the sound of distant music met your ear.
“Is someone throwing a party?” You asked.
“Must be that girl across the street. I bet her parents are out for the weekend.”
“Hm. And where does she go again?”
Maddie shrugged. “One of the public high schools nearby, I suppose.”
“Whatever,” You sighed, standing up. “I guess I’m going to head over to the guest room and get some sleep.”
Maddie nodded. “Alright. Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be next door.”
“Thanks, Mads.”
Surprisingly, it didn’t take much for you to doze off once you’d gotten comfortable. Perhaps you were exhausting yourself worrying about nonsense. The unfortunate part was that you didn’t stay asleep for very long. About three hours went by before Maddie was shaking you awake again.
“Ugh,” You groaned in annoyance, shifting as your stirred awake. “Wha—at, Maddie? My beauty sleep-”
“Don’t you hear that? I haven’t been able to sleep forever!” She interjected.
Your eyes fluttered open as you listened. That’s when you finally processed how excessively loud the party music was playing from outside. Maddie was hardly visible in the darkness, but you could still make out the aggravated expression etched on her features.
Now you were pissed.
The absolute last thing you wanted to deal with was being woken up out of your sleep by some inconsiderate bunch of teenagers with nothing productive to do in their spare time.
“I’m surprised no one in the neighborhood has called the police on those kids or something,” She grumbled, folding her arms over her chest. “I guess none of them are as close to her house as we are.”
You kicked your legs over the side of the bed, weaving past the young girl and practically growling as you went digging around for some shoes.
“What are you doing?” Maddie quizzed, watching as you tugged some slippers onto your feet and started towards the door.
“I’m going to make sure they quiet down. Come on.”
She was quick to follow after that, not uttering a word as you padded down the stairs and out the front door. You were careful not to alert her parents of your exit, even though you knew they slept through everything anyway. Maddie almost had to jog to keep up with your pace.
As you made your way across the street, it became even more glaringly obvious where all the noise was coming from. The neighbor’s backyard was practically lit up like a rock concert. You didn’t even bother with the front door at that point and instead looped your way around the back of the house, straight for the source. You could hear Maddie faltering behind you.
“(Y/n), wait, if there are boys here, we can’t be in nightgowns! What are you even going to say? What if-!”
“Listen, I know you’re a ridiculously light sleeper, and this noise is just stupid, so I’m fixing it right now. Either follow me or don’t,” You snapped, not bothering to look in her direction.
She didn’t reply, but never stopped following you. You were on a war path, but the instant you rounded the corner, you came to a screeching halt, causing Maddie to smack into your backside.
“Ouch!” She yelped, stepping backward. “Why did you…” Maddie trailed off as she caught sight of what you were staring at—the very thing that had caused you to stop in your tracks.
“No. Way.”
Just as you suspected, there was a crowd of high school kids everywhere, some drinking, some smoking, and others dangling their feet in the large pool. You didn’t recognize any of them—none of them except two teenage boys standing by a large table of refreshments. One of them you knew as Knox Overstreet, and the other was Charlie Dalton himself, right there in the flesh, sipping on a cup of God-knows-what with his arm slung around a young brunette girl’s shoulders. They were preoccupied laughing at something Charlie had said, completely oblivious to your presence.
God, he looked just as arrogant as ever with that horrible smug look slapped across his face. To you, it looked like he thought he was getting somewhere with that girl.
You were initially shocked to see them both, but quickly shaped up when you remembered why you were standing there in the first place.
“That’s Mary, the girl that lives here. Is she with Charlie?” Maddie asked.
“Over my dead fucking body,” You mumbled, marching right towards where they stood. It only took a second for them to notice you approaching. The girl, Mary, seemed only bewildered by your clothing choice, while the two boys looked like they had suddenly seen a ghost.
You got about six feet away before stopping and jamming a finger in their direction. “I apologize, but this music is-!”
“What?” Mary yelled over the music. You could tell by her body language that she really wasn’t all that interested in what you had to say regardless. Like you were the one being a nuisance, not the other way around.
You gritted your teeth, glaring down at one of the radios that blasted on the table beside you. You all but ripped the knob off that damn machine trying to turn it off. At that point, nearly everyone had turned to look at the commotion you’d caused, but you truly couldn’t have cared less. The perplexed expression had melted off Charlie’s face, now seeming more impressed than anything. But what he was impressed by, you weren’t quite sure.
“I said,” You snarled, practically boring holes into the girl’s head. “I’m sorry, but music is over the top. I’m at my friend’s house across the street, and it’s clear as day through the walls. It’s late. We and everybody else in the neighborhood are really trying to sleep, and you’re being a bit inconsiderate with this. There is zero reason for it to be that loud all night.”
Your head snapped to Charlie when you heard his laugh, and it was all you could do not to tackle him, then it went back to the girl.
“Or maybe,” Mary said slowly, “You should try putting some clothes on before you decide to come stomp on everyone’s fun. I mean, seriously, are you a prostitute or something?” Her words were slurring together. Then she took a final swig from a glass bottle she held before tossing it in your direction.
You stepped back quickly, listening to her giggle as the bottle rolled along the grass and bounced off your foot. Charlie chose to step away from her at that point. Taunting “Ooo’s” came from the crowd of people, who were now fully engrossed as they moved closer to watch the show. You stood there stunned for a moment, in disbelief that someone had actually thrown a glass object at you. Sure, you could be catty sometimes, but you’d never done anything like that to a stranger.
“(Y/n)..?” Came Maddie’s meek voice. You could hear her take a few steps in your direction.
You ignored her and instead looked up at Mary again with a calm smile.
“Hey, alright, look, you can’t-” Charlie began to tell her, but you stopped him politely.
Her smugness seemed to diminish at your mellow reaction, which was quite the opposite of what everyone thought. She had clearly anticipated on you being angry.
But you were angry. You were literally shaking with anger. However, you opted not to express it right away. You weren’t going to give her the pleasure of seeing you scream or cry over her actions.
Still sporting your gentle expression, you sauntered around to the back of the refreshment table and stood there for a moment, all while maintaining eye contact with the young girl.
Mary furrowed her brows, almost ready to laugh at whatever you were doing, but just as she did, you reached out in a quick motion, and flipped the table completely over onto its side, emphasized by a deep ‘thud’ as it hit the ground.
Food went cascading in various directions, the radio rolled several times, and the punch bowl’s contents shot out so far that it covered almost all three of their shoes, causing Mary to shriek and jump backwards. You could tell she had some nice shoes on, too. Well, they were nice.
“Oops,” You sang, “My mistake.”
You could tell she was furious, but thankfully for her, she didn’t move to approach you.
“What in the hell is wrong with you?!” She screeched, face now glowing with anger.
“What’s wrong with me? It’s you, bitch. You’re what’s wrong.”
Noises of surprise and astonishment came from the other teenagers, some egging you on and others commenting on how unladylike you were. You didn’t care; you were ready to shove her in the pool if she tried something else. However, Maddie was there to snatch your hand and start tugging you in the opposite direction.
“(Y/n), let’s go,” She demanded.
You pulled your arm back, knocking her aside as you left all the laughter and commotion behind you. She was about to take out, but Charlie stopped her.
“Hey, head on home, I’ll handle it.”
Maddie sneered at him. “Are you kidding me? You? You think you’re going to help?”
“I’ve got it, I promise. She’ll be back at yours afterward,” He assured.
She sighed, and begrudgingly allowed him to go after you. It didn’t take him long to catch up, but he was confused to find you walking down the road rather than back toward Maddie’s house. You knew from the weight of the footsteps that it wasn’t Maddie behind you, but that didn’t concern you in the slightest. You were too busy fighting tears that threatened to swell in your eyes, the adrenaline making your emotions run rampant. You just wanted to walk and cool your head a little bit, and you were deaf to anything else going on around you.
“(Y/n)! Shit, I didn’t know you had that kind of fire, babe!” Charlie hollered, but when you didn’t stop or even slow down after a few more steps, he took the liberty of grabbing you by the shoulders and spinning you around to face him.
“(Y/N)! Where are you-“
“What?!” You yelled, not bothering to fight him as he held you. He let go when he saw the way you were looking at him, then opened his mouth to say something, but you immediately cut him off.
“What do you want with me? What did I even do to you?”
“What? I’m pretty sure you started this whole thing, not me. Besides, where are you even going?” Charlie laughed.
You glared. “Does it really matter? And what the hell is so funny? What are you so amused with all the goddamn time?!”
“You,” He stated dryly, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“Me?” You quizzed. “I’m is amusing? Is that why you embarrassed me in front of my friends the first day we met?”
He pulled back. “I wasn’t trying to embarrass you, I was trying to get your attention.”
“Well, congratulations, you’ve got it!” You ridiculed. “What are you even doing here? Did you sneak out with Knox to go to that stupid party? And who was that girl hanging all over you like that? She’s awful.”
A broad, playful smirk stretched across the boy’s cheeks. “Why do you care who she was?”
You straightened, placing a hand on your chest. “I don’t. I just don’t see why you have to throw yourself on every girl like that; it’s gross.”
He stepped forward with that ever-teasing look on his face. “Oh, but it was okay when you were rubbing Meeks’ shoulder at school?”
“I wasn’t ‘rubbing’ his shoulder!”
“Yeah, and I don’t actually ‘throw myself’ at women, either,” He shrugged. “I only talk a big game. I make jokes, it’s what I do.”
You tried to fight it, but it was useless. He just looked so attractive under the warm street lights, the wind making his hair all ruffled and messy. Your resentment diminished at the sight, and instead was replaced with a pang of jealousy. The reality was that you wanted Charlie’s arm around you instead. You needed it to be you, and not Mary or anybody else. The facade had finally lost its luster. Realization was now staring in the face: you had feelings for Charlie Dalton.
“Yeah, right, Dalton. That’s what I’d say too,” You uttered, demeanor now flat.
“It’s part of my charm,” He affirmed.
“Of course…”
Charlie was so easy to admire that it made you loath him for it. A thick silence hung between you both for a second.
“I wasn’t trying to make you that angry, for the record. I was just teasing. You’re absolutely gorgeous, and everyone at school wants your attention, so I was trying to make sure I kept it to myself for more than two seconds,” He mused, scuffing his shoe on the pavement. “Although you are pretty hot when you’re mad, so I’ll admit it was a little fun.”
Chills ran down your arms, eyes drifting to the ground bashfully. “You’re crazy, Charles Dalton.”
“Hm. Then I guess we have a lot in common,” He retorted.
“Really? You can’t be serious for two seconds?”
“You can’t loosen up for two seconds!”
You wheeled around, ready to walk away from the conversation and let your crush die with it, but Charlie grabbed you again. This time he wrapped one arm around your waist and pulled you dangerously close, using his other hand to firmly grasp your chin so you’d have to look at him.
You were about to reprimand him, tell him to unhand you and to go back to that other girl, but before you knew what was happening, he’d already leaned in and smushed his lips right up against yours.
A bolt of electricity ran through your body upon contact, and the words that died on your lips came out as a small moan of surprise. He was kissing you. You couldn’t believe it, Charlie was actually kissing you. A real kiss. The sharp scent of cologne and cigarettes invaded your nose, overwhelming your senses. It took a moment for your brain to process the situation, but when it did, you relaxed against him, instinctively letting your eyes close and snaking your arms around his neck. You felt him smile against you as you pulled him flush to your body. It was sweet, meaningful. Your heart thumped wildly in your chest, making you slightly lightheaded.
Oh, you were so screwed.
You had no foggy idea what came over you, but you didn’t have to think twice about it. You began running your fingers through his chocolate locs of hair, nails grazing his scalp ever so slightly in a way that had him sighing against you. He ran his hand to the back of your neck began moving his lips feverishly with your own. You could taste whatever fruity substance he’d been sipping on earlier, but it was heaven. The way he kissed you caused your tongues to brush together a few times, and your stomach flipped each time it happened.
All the built-up tension you’d acquired over the past week was completely released in those few moments as his hands moved up and down your torso. You were fully content to stay like that for the rest of the night, but of course, it was over all too soon.
“Hey, Dalton! Why can't we leave you alone for five minutes, man?” Knox’s voice made you jump away from Charlie, ears warm from being caught.
You weren’t exactly being discreet about it by making out in the middle of the street, but you were still surprised and suddenly much more aware of the fact that you were in nothing but a nightgown.
“Hey, Carpe Diem, man!” Charlie called back to him from down the street, sporting a grin that was probably less than trustworthy.
He continued when all he got was silence in return, “Hold on a second; I’ll be right there, I swear!”
Knox rolled his eyes, turning back toward the house. “Make it quick; we’ve gotta get back before someone misses us!”
Charlie gave his friend a thumbs up, then turned back just as you shivered from a gust of cool night air. Without missing a beat, he peeled off his jacket and placed it over your shoulders, shooting you a goofy smile.
You pulled it around you while shaking your head, then leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, and watched as youthful excitement erupted on his face.
“So you were staring at me that day.”
“Mmm, let’s not push it, Dalton. You’ve been having way too much fun this week,” You warned, stifling a smile.
“Neil owes me a dollar.”
Eyeing the wet grass for a moment, you thought carefully about what you wanted to say next, but it proved difficult to come back down from the high that kiss had put you on.
“You know… I really am sorry about everything that happened,” You said ashamedly.
Charlie’s silence urged you to continue.
“You… I like you, truthfully. And I’ve never really been interested in a boy like this before. When you called me out that day in the library, it sort of hurt my pride a little bit for everyone to see how flustered I got.” Your breathing trembled. "And… I don't know, I guess I just panicked when I realized I couldn’t be cool in front of you."
It felt foreign to open up like that. Showing soft emotions was just not your forte. You were always taught to suck it up and keep going; you were to cry about things in private and smile like a lady in public. But fortunately, Charlie didn’t care about that, and he listened to you ramble with perfect patience. You couldn’t tell if you wanted to cry or throw up at that point, but you were glad you got it out.
“That’s what all this was about?”
You nodded.
“(Y/n)… You need to stop worrying so much about what everyone else thinks. I was sure you just hated me by this point.”
“Charlie, I can’t help it. I’ve worked hard all my life trying to impress everyone,” You defended, feeling a twinge of sadness as you thought back to your parents.
“Well, whether you believe me or not, I would never want you to feel like you had to earn my acceptance. Never.” He gave you a sympathetic look. “And please trust me when I tell you it’s not worth trying to be whatever your family expects you to be. You’re better than whatever they have in their head for you.”
You nodded, and he smiled. A genuine smile, not that patronizing smirk.
“I could’ve approached you so much better than I did, and it was immature to keep antagonizing you like that. I’m sorry, (Y/n).”
You shook your head. “No, I should’ve controlled my temper. You and that poor lizard didn’t deserve it either. And now I need to go apologize to Maddie for the feud her family is going to have with the neighbors for the rest of their life.”
He grimaced. “Eh, they sort of had it coming, if you ask me. I should’ve known you could handle yourself just fine.”
“Don’t encourage me,” You hummed in amusement, watching the trees sway in the breeze.
“Man. Nobody gets the last word with you, do they?” He said through chuckles. “Honestly… What you did was pretty funny. And you were right; the music was obnoxious. It was giving me a headache. Also, let it be known that none of this was my idea, by the way; Knox dragged me here.”
You smiled back at him half-heartedly. “Yeah, I’m never going to hear the end of it… Not that I necessarily deserve mercy.”
“Well, regardless of how it started out, I hope it can continue.” Charlie took your hand, kissing your knuckles just as he’d done before, mumbling against your skin, “If I had known all it took to get on your good side was to stick my tongue in your mouth, I would’ve done it a while ago.”
You took your hand away and whacked his shoulder gently. “Shut it.”
You didn’t have to look at him to know he was grinning from ear to ear.
“I’ll see you Monday! And I’ll have to properly introduce you to my friends,” He joked, walking backward toward the direction Knox had disappeared in. “They all think you’re pretty, but they’re also scared of you, so you have to sit by me.”
“Wait! Do you want your coat back?”
“Nah, I’ll get it Monday, and I’ll get you your lock back, too,” He laughed. “And next time we’ll have to do this at my place, babe!”
You rolled your eyes. “Only if you wear the nightgown next time, Charles.”
#dead poets society#dead poets fandom#dead poets fanfic#dead poetry#charlie dalton#steven meeks#neil perry#todd anderson#knox overstreet#gerard pitts#john keating#chris noel#welton academy#x reader#reader insert#charlie dalton x reader#dps fandom#dps boys#dps#dps fanfiction#dead poets society x reader
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I still don't talk enough about my metamorphmagus Andromeda, Walburga, and Regulus headcanons
But I think about them constantly
Especially how much they're each willing to shift their appearance based on their comfort within their own bodies as well as their outlook on purity and tradition within the family (with Andy being the most adventurous in her youth before settling down and using her ability less when she leaves the family because she feels that she's comfortable in herself without having to switch things up to try and adjust herself, Walburga trying to suppress it her entire life because she sees it as a flaw and hiding it to the extent where only her parents, brothers, Orion, and Regulus know, and regulus getting conflicting advice from the two of them in his childhood but slowly getting more accepting of it and experimenting more leading up to his death)
They're just perfect for it and I love the idea of the gene being carried through the black family, which is how it gets to Tonks and Teddy
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my interpretation of what Till’s flower art means to him!
before the patreon post, i wrote down my interpretations of the flowers for each character (except mizi and luka, as i hadn’t gotten to them). i might share the rest eventually. this is a really long rant Since i think about till an insane amount.. this is mostly just me rambling
the edelweiss.
love, courage, bravery, devotion, purity, strength, resilience. a flower that is difficult to obtain due to it growing in the toughest conditions, though it thrives. “delicate yet hardy.” they’re used as a gift of selfless and pure love. in folklore, there’s a story of a man risking his life to climb a mountain and obtain the flower to gift to his love, symbolizing sacrifice and devotion. there’s also a story of a queen who fell in love with a shepherd, but he was thrown to his death, and her tears blossomed the edelweiss.
till’s existence is a product of love. he had loved and had been loved all his life. he symbolizes such pure, raw love, having been the only character to experience love prior to anakt. maternal love, the most unconditional and pure bond. he craves that freedom he’s felt before, his resilience keeping him going.
till is a strong and pure of heart character. despite the tough living conditions he was subjected to, he always stayed true to himself, never letting the segyein keep him down. he was the only person to constantly defy the segyein despite all the punishment and abuse. he goes against them whenever he possibly can, outright killing an alien in round 2. he’s a symbol of bravery and courage.
till has been devoted to mizi all his life, going as far as to sacrifice his own freedom in order to continue “protecting” her. he also directly faced an alien in front of her, to protect her and show that he won’t let the segyein hurt her. the first tale i presented reminded me of how till feels towards mizi, persevering through the toughest conditions in order to demonstrate his pure love. despite all his love for her, he simply admires her from afar, which in my mind pushes the ‘devotion’ aspect, like a believer devoted to a god.
the second tale reminds me of till both after mizi’s disappearance and ivan’s death. we saw how till acted after mizi. till heavily grieved, nearly unable to hold himself together. he was willing to throw his life away because of how hard it was to live without her. and round 6, i tend to believe ivan’s death was when till finally realized how he felt. i believe this because of the wedding theme round 6 is supposed to hold. ivan’s sacrifice successfully shifted the narrative of the story, the kiss symbolizing their lives linking. but as soon as this happened, ivan’s life came to an end, leaving till to grieve.
the fact that edelweisses are difficult to come by because they’re in such isolated places also reminds me of how till was constantly locked up for his behavior. this can also represent till’s severe struggles with avoidance. he kept both mizi and ivan at a distance all his life, isolating himself from them emotionally as he heavily fears intimacy for a multitude of reasons.
till is the only one with chains surrounding him, which can symbolize a couple of things. the immediate thought i had was how he was constantly oppressed by the segyein, locked away and forcibly dehumanized all throughout his life. being tied down was his norm, and he got the most reprimand from it. this can also symbolize his emotional isolation, as i stated previously. besides this, i’m not too sure what the chains could represent here.
a thing i should mention is that edelweisses are actually mentioned in unknown till the end… how cool
this isn’t my most in depth analysis, i was mostly just dumping my thoughts.. let me know if you’d like to see the thoughts i had on ivan, sua, or hyuna’s flower art!
#alien stage#alnst#alnst analysis#alien stage till#alnst till#ivantill#somewhat?#i love you till#SO MUCH
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What Are You Currently Manifesting?
Hi, Hexlings!
This pick-a-card reading is all about what you are manifesting in your life right now. I felt called to do this reading, hopefully, this reading gives you some sort of guidance and hope.
This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.
Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.
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Pile l:
What are you currently manifesting? Tarot: 5 of Pentacles (reversed), 6 of Swords, Page of Pentacles, 2 of Cups, 6 of Cups, The Hermit.
You are currently manifesting releasing the old and bringing in new energy, specifically relationships and possible friendships but with the 2 of cups..this reading feels more about romance. This pile may be used to attracting the wrong kinds of people who want to do nothing but use and waste your time and you have reached the stage in your life where you are tired of this kind of energy constantly reappearing in your life. You are wanting new energy. The song Angel Numbers by Chris Brown is playing in my head on repeat "Healing energy on me, Baby, all I really need's one thing, Healing energy on me." You are looking for a healing connection that will help you in replacing your current feelings and past memories about love or for some of you people in general. You want nothing but love and light coming in towards you and if it isn't that you don't want it. You have finally seen the light that you are deserving of a good love, a healing love that will help you grow as a person and mend your heart. Currently, you may be in isolation or have been thinking about going into isolation. I think this is the best option for you right now pile l. Going into isolation will help ground you in a sense of knowing exactly what you want in your next relationship and not settling for less no matter what. Some of you may currently either be celibate or thinking about celibacy.
Extra Messages: Sacred Destiny Oracle: Openness, Purity, Solitude, Enlightenment, Going Forward, Focus.
I love it when Spirit highly aligns the reading with oracle cards. Seeing the purity card as well as focus, and solitude confirms my message. Some of you are thinking of going celibate if not if you decide to do so it will bring more focus, clarity, and discernment in your life regarding how you treat yourself and what you will allow from others. With the openness and going forward card you are moving forward on this new journey and there is no going back. Be open to the experience that this new solitude will bring you. When you feel alone or lonely speak to your guides and remember why you are going through this period of your life right now.
Pile ll:
What are you currently manifesting? Tarot 3 of Wands, 6 of Wands, 9 of Cups, The Star, Queen of Cups, The Chariot
A lot of wands and cup energy pile ll. Right now you are currently manifesting showing up as your highest self. If not your highest self you want to show up as your best self where you are thriving, succeeding, receiving recognition, and living an abundant life. I feel that some of you have been in your masculine energy for so long that you are dying to walk in your feminine energy where you are receiving amazing blessings, awards, money, and just everything you have been crying, praying, and doing spells for. Weirdly enough Part of Your World by the Little Mermaid is playing in my head. It's the part where she sings.
"Up where they walk, up where they run Up where they stay all day in the sun Wanderin' free, wish I could be Part of that world"
You want to experience life the way others you have been following on your social media page are living. Some of you might want to be content creators, wanting to work from home where you can travel and work from anywhere, or even just being a stay-at-home girlfriend/boyfriend or parent. Either way, you want to bring in this happiness, luxury, abundant lifestyle for yourself.
Extra Messages: Energy Oracle Cards: Angel of Strength, Man Holding a Heart, Door to Romance, Adjacent Possibilities, Cornucopia, Fourth Chakra - Archangel Raphael.
Seeing the Man holding the heart and Door to romance confirms that some of you want to be a spoiled girlfriend/boyfriend or just a stay-at-home parent. For others of you, this is just confirmation that love is coming in for you in general. With the Cornucopia card and adjacent possibilities, it's just saying that you have many ways that you will be abundant in your life and it won't be just financially. It can be abundant of people who care and love you, abundant of food, money, travel, and job opportunities. Whatever it is you want more of, you got it.
Pile lll:
What are you currently manifesting? Tarot: 9 of Cups, The Fool, King of Wands, Hang Man, The Wheel, 10 of Swords.
You are manifesting the end of your current story and walking into a new journey, direction, business opportunity, etc. Either way, you are wanting the cycle that has been repeating in your life for quite some time now to end so you can bring in happiness and passion to your life. Some of you may even feel that your life has been at a standstill where nothing is happening or maybe even live in a small town where you want more to your life and want to venture out into the unknown, don't worry your manifestations are being heard loud and clear for you to walk into this new path. Some of you may be looking for more passion or trying to find your passions in this current part of your life and you're wondering if any of this will lead to somewhere or at least be beneficial to your mental health. Your pile is a little shorter than the rest because your cards are straight to the chase of you wanting a new journey, story, etc in your life. Your old story is ending or whatever it is that you are wanting to end in your life and amazing things will begin to appear in your life. I also feel this reading is a bit short because there will be so many of you that resonate with this pile that spirit can't relay every single things because that would be bonkers.
Extra Messages: Energy Oracle Card: Man holding a coin, Man holding a heart, Door to Personal healing and happiness, Storm warning, Blossoming Abundance.
Definitely, someone new is coming in for you whether this is for business/career opportunities or romantic, someone new is coming in. But over all abundance, healing, and happiness are in this cards for you and all that you are manifesting. Storm Warning can go two ways for some of you, you have a bit of turbulence coming in to shack up your. life to bring in this new beginning and for others of you this is saying your storm is finally ending.
Pile lV:
What are you currently manifesting? Tarot: The Fool, Death, Justice, Page of Wands, Temperance, Awakening, 4 of Pentacles.
You may somewhat have been drawn to pile ll but not so much as this reading is all about you getting back to the self and not so much of already at the stage of showing up as your highest self. You want to get your life back on track with a schedule, better eating habits, doing rituals, or connecting with your spirituality or religion, either way, you are manifesting balance and going back to the basics. It's as if a lightbulb had switched on in your head randomly where you kept telling yourself something needs to change and you are starting with yourself and then changing things on the external front. Some of you may want to pamper yourself more or cut back on excessive spending. This kind of feels like an ego death for a lot of you where you lose yourself a bit in order to come back home to who you truly are. Living your life in accordance with what you need and want right now. Some of you are releasing the past and letting life handle your past woes and sorrows. You are now longer entertaining the pity me, people did me wrong mentality but excepting that life happens and sometimes people are dicks. Yeah, some of you are going through a spiritual awakening and ego death finding yourself again. You are probably figuring out now in your life what is it that you want from not only yourself, but from others, and what life has to offer you. This is going to be a long but rewarding journey for you pile lV. e prepared for the highs and lows that come along with coming back to the self, finding your highest self, or becoming your best version. Stick to it, develop discipline, and everything will work out. You will benefit so much from this, you won't even recognize who you are within a year.
Extra Messages: Going Forward, Protection, Solitude, Enlightenment, Flow, Simplicity, Taking Risks.
I'm starting to feel anxious, some of you may be feeling anxious about all of this because it's overwhelming and something new that you are trying to take and you are hoping for all the best to go well. Go with the flow and listen to your intuition. Don't second guess it, sit down and meditate or go for a walk out in nature to listen to what your gut and highest self is trying to relay to you on your next steps. You are being protected during this time of refuge and solitude. Do not worry about leading yourself down the wrong path, you are protected and will always find your way back to where you need to be and you are being led away from anything that can be harmful or misleading on your journey.
Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.
Stay safe and be blessed
Next Reading: Romance Related (Patreon, may upload later today or sometime before Monday)
#spirituality#witchblr#tarotblr#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#pick a card#tarot cards#pac tarot#pick a pile#pac reading#pick an image#pick a photo#pick a picture#blessings#manifestation
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deciding to yap about my oppy design except it’s a bunch of little details I really like
I went for a car salesman vibe where he’s really shady and you have the feeling he’s gonna try to sell you something as he compliments you to get on your good side. Whatever he’s selling is NOT to be trusted. It’s probably already broken, is over priced, will potentially put you in danger, or all three. there’s like a 90% chance it’s a pyramid scheme product. Golden tooth for extra shady salesman vibes. His entire outfit is literally just what I could think of when I thought “shady car salesman”
His hands are red because he got caught “red-handed” :3 (yes it was entirely a pun) but looking at it again, it could be symbolism for the blood on his hands. other than that, it’s just one entire pun
His mask is permanently stuck to his face because of how his hides his true opinions just to suck up to whoever is in power. He’s constantly wearing a mask for people and only shows his true nature when he thinks he’s the one in power.
He has a deer tail for yet another pun, but this one is more symbolic in the way he fawns when met with a fight or flight situation. He tries to appease the threat as if he’ll be “spared”
His wings are clipped because I wanted him not to be able to fly. Something about looking like a bird but not being able to do the one thing birds are most known for.
He’s black and white to show how two-faced he is and how he’s never on just one side. His mask being white was basically just because it looked good, but also white being a symbol for purity ties in again with the mask being both literal and figurative.
I’m going to punch him and bite him and give him rabies. Also he’s probably 5’1 but wears heeled dress shoes or those shoe inserts that make you taller
#silly#art#stp#stp opportunist#stp voices#stp fanart#slay the princess opportunist#slay the princess voice#slay the princess fanart#slay the princess#voice of the opportunist#opportunist#Stp voice design#I’m going to punt him
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“Aang fans have to reach hard to find any sort of “development” in his story, and to justify why it’s acceptable for him to put the lives of millions of people at risk to maintain feelings of purity despite other Avatars (including an Air Nomad) telling him his decision is selfish”
Thoughts on this take? I found it on “longing for rain” blog.
1 - Zuko had THE perfect opportunity to end the war by killing Ozai during the day of the eclipse, but he didn't do so because "It's Aang's fate" and Zuko has a very rigid idea of what "fate" means and how it should affect one's behavior. Iroh also refused to even try to HELP in the battle because it'd make him be seen as a power-hungry kinslayer (even though he had zero intention of becoming Fire Lord). Both of these things can be seen as selfish, especially since they're all about how it'll affect their OWN image, yet only Aang gets labeled selfish. If everyone is throwing the burden on his shoulders, they can shut the fuck up about how he handles said burden.
2 - One of Aang's reasons to not want to kill Ozai is because HE'S TWELVE AND DOESN'T WANNA MURDER SOMEONE, even someone who deserves it. He never asked for this responsibility. He cannot be blamed for Sozin and every Fire Lord after him being a monster, or for Roku's inability to do anything despite being an adult. He's a child. This is not his mess to fix, and yet...
3 - He's not simply going "Sorry, guys, I don't feel like killing Ozai, guess you're all gonna die." He's trying to find alternative solutions - and when he can't find one, he ACCEPTS killing Ozai (and even almost does it AFTER being taught about energybending), despite...
4 - Him being a pacifist and wanting to stay true to his beliefs. He's not trying to be "pure", as in "I'm better than all of you 'cause I don't want to kill", but as in "I don't wanna be a hypocrite that preaches one thing but does the opposite" - thought I suppose I can understand how someone how tries to get praised by trying to pass off AI bullshit as actual art made by them would have a problem with a main character that vallues being an honest person.
Aang's development is not the same as Zuko's of "I need to completely alter my way of thinking" because AANG WAS NOT THE ONE SUPPORTING GENOCIDE. This doesn't make Zuko a better written, more realistic, or "more developed" character, it means he used to be a monster and now he isn't one anymore.
Aang's entire struggle is constantly having the world trying to beat his innocence and humanity out of him so he is nothing BUT the Avatar, just a super soldier/weapon that lives to sacrifice everything for everyone else's sake, while getting nothing in return because "it's his duty." His character arc is about realizing these "necessary evils" aren't actually necessary at all, and that he CAN save the world without destroying his spirit and identity in the process. He doesn't have to see the "error of his ways" because he was not the one in the wrong for saying "Fuck you, I'm a PERSON, not your sacrificial lamb."
And idiots like this particular dumbass would realize it (or rather, admit it) if they only they didn't have a giant stick up their pretencious ass and could get over the fact that their fanon ship "lost the ship war" TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO!
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Megumi Will Start the Merger Theory
You heard me. I know this sounds wild and out of left field, but it's just a theory. A Jujutsu Kaisen theory. I fully acknowledge it might not happen, but please stick around long enough for me to argue why I think Megumi's character may go in this direction.
This one is for all the Megumi corruption arc truthers out there. I came up with this theory when it became clear that saving Megumi from Sukuna's grasp was going to be more difficult than just giving him a motivational speech, or punching Sukuna until their souls separated. Furthermore, I believe that Jujutsu Kaisen's manga won't end with the defeat of Sukuna. There will be one more curve ball thrown at us by Gege in the late game, and this is me trying to anticipate the pitch before the baseball hits me in the face. Underneath the cut I will speculate on the direction that Gege may take Megumi's arc, the relationship between Sukuna and Megumi, and Yuji's role in the finale.
What is a Corruption Arc?
Before digging in too deep I want to explain what I mean when I say I'm a Megumi corruption arc truther. A character arc is a story arc in regards to a character where a character changes from beginning to end. That's the most basic definition, arcs can be more complex, some arcs are actually inversions of the standard character arc where a character is defined by his lack of change.
However, those still need some element change, sometimes characters around them change to show contrast. For example, Eren is a stagnant character from beginning to end in Attack on Titan, but characters like Mikasa, Armin, Jean all grow up to show by comparison how little Eren has grown. Sometimes circumstances change around a character, and their lack of growth is a failure to adapt to those circumstances.
A character arc requires a change, but it's not necessarily a positive change. Often called negative character development, these characters regress instead of grow. This happens in many ways. One of the most basic examples of a character arc is a want / need arc. A want / need arc shows an emotional hole in the protagonist's life that needs repairing and how resolving the plot allows them to fill that hole. The protagonist usually knows what they need, but they know what they want, and often what they want won't actually fix them.
For example if I'm feeling sad I want to eat donuts to lift my mood, but what I need to do is learn healthier ways to work through my negative emotions. A character who keeps pursuing what they want, instead of realizing what they need won't grow, that's negative character development.
That's just one example though, Gege gave us a blueprint for a corruption arc in Hidden Inventory.
In Yu Yu Hakusho the character Sensui (directly cited by Gege as his inspiration for Geto in an interview) once was a spirit detective like the protagonist. No one describes him as corrupt from the beginning, in fact he's constantly described as more pure and upstanding than delinquent Yusuke Urameshi who likes getting into fights. He has a strong sense of justice, but rigid black and white views that come with it. Once he's confronted with evidence that directly contradicts his demons bad, humans good paradigm he cannot cope, and the narrative all but states Sensui's purity traditionally a good trait corrupted him because of his inability to adapt and his rigidity in in his beliefs.
Sensui goes through a corruption arc, albeit one offscreen and mainly referred to in backstory.
Geto's happens onscreen in its own story arc where he is one of two main characters. Much like Sensui he's presented to us as a sorcerer like Gojo, but unlike Gojo he believes sorcerers are obligated by duty to protect non-sorcerers who have no way of fighting against curses. You could argue that in some ways Geto and Gojo are the same type of jerk, but Geto's principles are clearly set up to contrast Gojo who at that age only was a sorcerer to flex his abilities. Geto's friendship often has him lecturing Gojo about respecting others, paying special attention to Gojo's feelings in ways that other characters don't, and also not being afraid to clash with Gojo over differences in morals.
If Geto is corrupt from the beginning there's no arc there, so he's clearly set up as being the moral fiber to contrast Gojo. We are literally presented with a scene where Gojo admits he could kill the non-sorcerers who hired a bounty hunter to assasinate Riko and feel nothing, and relies on Geto to make a moral judgement in his place, that society will already punish them and their slaughter is pointless.
The irony is that later, Geto will engage in pointless slaughter killing an entire town in retribution for their abuse of Nanako and Mimiko. When Gojo confronts him about his actions, Gojo cites the same reasoning that Geto provided him to stop him from killing the cult members.
That Geto's murder of innocent civilians is pointless, because it won't achieve anything - his world of sorcerers is out of reach. Geto's clearly positioned as Gojo's moral tether, because he cites Geto's statement of only killing when there's meaning to it right back at him.
This is also where the corruption part of his corruption arc comes in, a change has taken place here. Geto hypocritically contradicts his earlier words, not just engaging in meaningless slaughter but also punishing people with his own hands instead of letting the justice systems in place take care of the punishments. Two things he held Gojo back from doing, only to do himself post corruption arc.
You could cite many things as the reason for Geto's corruption arc, but the common theme shared with Sensui is resistance to change. Geto saw the world in two distinct categories strong / weak, the same way Sensui saw humans good / demons bad. When Geto is shown that weak people are capable of bonding together to oppress strong people (the cult) and that sorcerers despite having strength are on the losing end of their society (they are expected to risk their lives and toil endlessly for curses 99% of the population can't even see), he cannot cope.
He especially cannot cope with the reality that Rika's death showed him, that he is not strong as he once believed. All of this combined leads Geto to double down, still seeing strong and weak as separate categories but now blaming normal citizens for the inherent corruption inside the Jujutsu World. Notice how Gojo a character with positive development seeks to reform from inside the Jujutsu World instead.
Geto also still wants to think of himself in the strong category, rather than facing the feelings that Riko's death and his helplessness in that moment gave him, as well as Gojo pulling he instead decides to double down on the idea that he's in the strong category, that he's superior.
Geto even remarks jealousy at Gojo's godlike power for the first time, when before this he's always been the only person to treat Gojo as an equal - because Geto doubling down on his superiority complex begins imagining himself above others and therefore untouchable by trauma. It's also a grab for agency, because in this world sorcerers are rather agenciless, forced to be cogs in an unfair system. Geto incorrectly assumes agency = power. If he possessed Gojo's power he would be able to grab his agency back (which is simply incorrect because Gojo is one of the most agenciless characters in the manga, defined by his rigid role as the lynchpin of society).
Geto also doesn't mature. A mature adult lives in the world, and accepts that the world is imperfect. Geto is remarked as childish, first by Shoko when they are smoking together "sulking because no one understands you... sounds awfully childish if you ask me", and then by Yuta "You think you're a god? You sound like a kid!"
So we have, refusal to grow up, refusal to adapt to a complex world, resistance to grief, and grabbing for agency and power instead of fixing an issue inside himself - all of these combine to make the Jenga Tower that is Geto Suguru collapse.
The central question of Geto's arc, spoken by Gojo to Yaga is "Is it possible to save someone who doesn't want to be saved?"
If Geto refuses all help, refuses to admit that he's wrong, and does not want to change then what really can Gojo do in this situation? Was he right to give up? Did he give up too early, refusing to kill Geto but also spending ten years just ignoring the problem until Geto attacked in Jujutsu Kaisen Zero? Did it not matter what Gojo did because ultimately Geto's choices are his own?
There's no clear answer, because it's a question the author is asking the audience to ponder. It's also a question directly set up for Megumi to answer, because when Gojo is unable to do a thing for Geto we see his next action is to seek out Megumi. His words imply that he sees Megumi in Geto and advises him not to be left behind, he also clearly became a teacher in order to not let what happened between him and Geto repeat in the next generation.
In spit of Gojo's best intentions, he's not able to protect Megumi from any of Sukuna's designs toward him, or basically anything that happens in post Shibuya's. Simply raising Megumi to be strong, did not prevent him from suffering trauma in his youth on Geto's level.
There's even a deliberate parallel, they both witness the death of an innocent who they promised to protect (Tsumiki, Riko Amanai) and they both have had their body taken from them, Geto's corpse is turned into a literal puppet to help advance Kenjaku's plans, Sukuna steals Megumi's body in order to revive himself in the modern era. They're both even used as tools against Gojo, Kenjaku uses Geto's body to awaken memories in Gojo and complete the sealing. Sukuna uses Mahoraga to learn the world splitting slash that cuts through Gojo's defenses.
Megumi also has a set of values that society spits in the face of. Megumi wishes to selfishly protect his sister, and pick and choose who to save. Geto believes the strong are obligated to protect the weak. Geto sees weak people who are corrupt and not worthy of his protection and also the reality that sorcerers are the exploited class, Megumi is forced to kill Tsumiki with his own hands.
These are intentional narrative parallels to show the risk of Megumi may walk the same path as Geto, especially since Megumi is in many ways a pure child like Geto himself.
Dark Phoenix Arc
There's one more corruption arc I want to compare Megumi's too, to give some idea of where I expect Megumi's arc to lead.
The Dark Phoenix Saga commonly refers to the story in Uncanny X-Men #129 - 138 of Jean Grey’s corruption by the power of the Phoenix and the Hellfire Club. It was considered incredibly shocking for its time. One thing to note is while Jean Grey is famous nowadays, in early X-Men she was the weakest character and her role was basically limited to “The Woman” of the team.
Elevating the helpless damsel woman to the most powerful member of the team, if not the entire universe and then having her turn evil had never been done before. It was a jaw-dropping shock at the time.
The reason I am citing the Dark Phoenix arc as an example, is because both Jean Grey and Megumi's character arc revolves around themes of agency, how it's stolen from them and how they reclaim it.
The basic summary of the Phoenix arc is that Jean Grey is initially given a massive power boost when she's possessed by the Phoenix. She stays behind on a crashing ship only to be saved by the Phoenix, a guardian, alien entity of immense power that was locked away in a crystal. Jean Grey returns as Phoenix with a massive power boost, but there's several ambiguous elements that compromise her agency. It's implied that Jean Grey always had a tremendous power that was in part sealed away by Professor Xavier using his telepathy (infringing on her agency) and that while the Phoenix gifted Jean Grey power, it's also an alien entity effecting her mind and body.
On top of that when she acquires the power, outside forces begin wanting to manipulate Jean in order to gain her power for their own ends.
A group called the Hellfire club begin to psychically tamper with her mind. They trap her in hallucination world where she is a woman of the 1800s, (not famously known for their agency) and in love with the leader of the Hellfire Club, even going so far as to give her false memories in order to convince her that this is reality.
The concept of agency and how it's constantly infringed upon, even by someone who's supposed to be on her side (Xavier) is central to this arc. Jean evetually escapes from the Hellfire club's manipulation, and reclaims her bodily autonomy but the story does not end there.
The subtle changes in Jean's behavior still continue, even after Jean has freed herself from the mind control. Is this the result of being given too much power at once? Is Jean losing control because she was never taught to properly handle her powers?
Jean Grey is also the character with the strongest potential in the main cast (much like Megumi) and also a character who's been prevented from using her powers to their full potential and even had her powers stolen and used by others (Much like Megumi).
It's heavily important that Jean's corruption into dark phoenix happens after freeing herself, and in response to the Hellfire club's machination to take all agency away from her. Jean instead makes a grab for power and agency by abusing her power as Dark Phoenix.
Jean even mentions that turning against her friends and trying to kill them as Dark Phoenix, will sever the last tie holding her back, will get of Jean Grey for good and cause her to fully embrace being Phoenix.
Jean has flipped entirely, overembracing the power and agency that has been stolen from her again and again, but really how could someone not desperately try to take back control of their lives after being mind controlled or having their mind violated multiple times (the phoenix itself, the hellfire club, even by Xavier).
How can someone never allowed to use her power, or given choices on how to use her power, not be corrupted when after being stepped on all of their lives the power of a god is dropped into their lap?
This is why I believe Megumi will be the one to initiate the merger, because his entire arc has been about having his power stolen away from him and what would Megumi do when given total power over the merger by Kenjaku?
Megumi Corruption Theory
The biggest piece of evidence for this theory is right here, Kenjaku specifically says to give Megumi Fushiguro the authority to start the merger.
There's a technical reason for this, Sukuna is currently in Megumi's body, and Sukuna himself was actually registered in Yuji's place because Yuji was built by Kenjaku to be a cage for Sukuna.
However, it can also be read as foreshadowing. If you believe like I do that the merger has to happen, then Sukuna can't be the one to initiate it. The simple reason why is that the main characters will have to be alive to fight against a merger, and Sukuna has set the condition that he'll start the merger after killing the main cast in order to motivate them to fight him with everything they have.
If Sukuna is going to start the merger after killing all the main characters, then he can't be the one to start the merger because the main characters have to be alive to witness the merger take place and fight against it somehow.
Therefore, logically if the merger is going to occur the only person who could possibly activate it is Megumi Fushiguro after reclaiming his body.
There's more foreshadowing then this one instance however, and a lot of it revolves around Sukuna and Megumi's unique relationship and Sukuna's role as a character.
As for why Megumi would possibly start out the merger, it's the same as Jean Grey, a character denied of agency suddenly has all the power in his hands, who wouldn't be corrupted? Especially Megumi, a character who's just been robbed of his sister and his mentor, and his purpose in life besides that (protecting Tsumiki)? Why wouldn't he lash out if suddenly given the power to? His friends are trying to save him yes, but Megumi is begging those save friends not to save him to end it all.
How do you save someone who isn't prepared to be saved?
How is the story going to answer that question, if saving Megumi is a matter as simple as just beating up Sukuna and giving his body back to him?
Onto analyzing more foreshadowing, but first a brief tangent on the nature of foreshadowing in Jujutsu Kaisen. Every major twist in the manga is foreshadowed far in advance. Kenjaku beng the one to possess Geto's body - foreshadowed by Kenjaku killing Mechamaru when Geto was against killing young sorcerers, and the fact Geto was deliberately killed onscreen with no explanation provided to the audience on how he could possibly revive.
Sukuna calls the purpose of the bath to be near evil, to submerge Megumi's soul.
If saving Megumi is just a matter of ridding him of Sukuna's possession however, then how does that allow Megumi to reclaim his agency? What agency does a damsel in distress who just exists to be rescued have?
Megumi's entire arc has been defined by the potential power that everyone sees in him, and his inability to reach that power especailly since other characters (especially Sukuna) seek to steal that power for their own ends. In the culmination of this arc, Sukuna literally steals Megumi's body, and his bodily agency.
How does Megumi finally live up to that potential if Megumi's arc ends with him being saved by Yuji? How does this make Megumi grow or change in any way?
Sensui, who is once again Gege's model of a corruption arc is referred to as a pure angel that was inevitably grew scarred and defiled, by his close personal confidant Itsuki. Not only that, but sinking deep into despair made him grow stronger not weaker.
Itsuki is also, a demon who met and encountered Sensui and then took a deeply invested perosnal interest in watching Sensui be corrupted in real time.
Megumi also has a curse that took a sole interest in him because of his talent and potential, then had a hand in bringing him closer to evil in order to make him sink into despair. There's once again the symbolism of purity being corrupted.
This panel explicitly shows white lilies (symbols of purity) being torn apart and blackened to symbolize what Sukuna wishes to do to Megumi in order to further is own ends.
There's also the heavy budhist symbolism with Sukuna's role in the story, and the way he influences the rest of the cast, especially Gojo Satoru who is our stand-in for the Budha. If the goal of Jujutsu Society is to attain enlightenment (escape cursed energy probably the only thing that will end the miserable lives of sorcerers), then the merger represents the opposite, Kenjaku's goal of optimizing cursed energy by mixing humans, sorcerers and curses to give birth to a new being.
That's also a conflict that needs to be resolved, but Sukuna by pushing forward the optimizing of cursed energy and representing the peak of sorcery living only for sorcerery and his own strength represents a Mara.
Sukuna is comparable to the Celestial Demon Mara in budhist mythology, more on it in this thread. In budhist cosmology, Mara is the “personification of the forces antagonistic to enlightenment.”
If the ultimate goal of budhism is to escape the cycle entirely and stop being reborn in the sensuous realm, Maara instead tempts people to stay in this realm. it defines impernanence by suggesting we stay in this realm forever. It defies Dukha by saying we indulge in physical pleasures in this realm, that we should seek to satisfy ourselves even if budhism argues that life is primarily unsatisfactory.
We even see Sukuna literally tempt a budha-like figure into remaining in this earthly realm. After all aren’t we shown that Gojo achieved enlightenment at seventeen and let go of earthly emotions like the need to be angry and avenge Riko’s killer because the feeling of oneness with existence was too good in that moment.
A lot of people noticed what they thought was Gojo acting out of character in the fight with him and Sukuna, by enjoying the fight and choosing his selfish desire to love jujutsu and fight as a sorcerer over his responsibiltiy to protect children. Something which Nanami says in his dying hallucination that Gojo only ever lived for the pursuit of his selfish desire for Jujutsu in the first place.
Gojo in his last fight against Sukuna forgets about saving Megumi or at least makes it a lesser priority, because Sukuna tempts him to do what he's always wanted to go all out in a sorcery fight and have the freedom to use his powers to the best of his ability. Hoewever, even after using his full strength, Sukuna cuts down the notion that he is above humanity and drags him back to the earth - literally calling him unenlightened.
“This is goodbye. You were born in an era without me and hailed as the strongest yet you turned out to be painfully ordinary…”
Does Sukuna not represent this temptation for all characters? Sukuna represents the selfish ideal of sorcerers, using his powers for himself to satisfy his hedonistic desires and because of this he has the most agency in the story and the story at times even bends to his desires.
Characters even fight for Sukuna's recognition, Hajime, Jogo and Gojo are validated by that same recognition in theend.
Why wouldn't Gojo and more importantly Megumi who are characters with very little agency not jump at the chance to be more like Sukuna, especially if it brings Sukuna the freedom he possesses?
Itsuki refers to himself as Senseui's shadows, leading him to act on his darkest impulses and enjoying watching the corruption spread. Megumi is literally a character who's Jujutsu revolves around his shadow, and summoning powerful Shikigami from it in order to fight. A character with an incomplete domain expansion (another loose plot thread with Megumi that would be unresolved if Megumi were simply saved) which is his own creation, which might surpass Mahoraga the technique handed to him.
In addition to being a Mara, Sukuna is also literally called the "fallen / disgraced one". Itsuki calls Sensui a fallen agel, but in the context of Jujutsu Kaisen there's literally a character called Angel, who's only goal is to save Megumi's soul, and there is a satan figure in Sukuna who wants to corrupt him. Literally, there's an angel and devil on Megumi's shoulder.
How is stealing Megumi's body corruption though? Megumi's not being tempted into being selfish. He's not responsible for any of the sins that Sukuna commits in his body. There's no arc there, because Megumi doesn't reclaim his agency in response to having it stolen away, he doesn't decide to do the bad things himself - it's Sukuna who commits the wrongs.
Even More Setup for the End Game
Here's where I stop referencing Yu Yu Hakusho and only use foreshadowing in the comic itself. The first is the discussion of roles, and how Yuji needs to break away from them, as much as Megumi needs to fight for his agency back.
Part of the reason Sukuna jumped bodies is because Yuji wanted to be given an easy role like a character in a story - rather than thinking and deciding for himself. He thanks Megumi and Gojo for giving him a role seconds before the body swap happens. If Yuji is immediately punished for thinking that what he needs is to be a cog in the machine, to be given a role then methinks that's a bad thing.
However, Yuji has not broken away from that thinking in any significant way. Sukuna even mocks him for finally being given a role.
If Yuji's thinking hasn't changed then no story arc has taken place. If this conflict of Yuji wanting to conform to a cog or a role has persisted since Shibuya - then it's clearly important to his arc and is something that needs to be resolved. If Yuji just solves the problem by being stronger than Sukuna and beating him in a fight, how does that resolve Yuji's flaw of clinging to roles rather than thinking for himself? I ask once again, where's the change?
Saving Megumi like a damsel in distress is still a role someone else has assigned him.
How does the decision to save Megumi right now challenge Yuji's hero complex in any way, besides the fact that Megumi has sunk into despair and would rather just end it all. Is that much a conflict that really forces Yuji to think for himself - to go against the grain of society rather than blindly following others.
If Yuji gets to rescue Megumi like a damsel, that's giving him what he wants, without forcing him to realize what he needs. That's as much of an unfullfilling end to Yuji's arc as a ending where Megumi never reclaims his agency and stands on his own feet and just has to sit there and wait and be passively saved.
Most of all the question: "Is it possible to save someone who's not prepared to be saved?" goes unanswered.
Geto wasn't just depressed and suicidal, he was actively making harmful choices and represented a danger to others. He also had no intention of stopping the path that he was on.
There's a clear parallel between Megumi and Yuji's friendship, and Geto and Gojo's past fallout. However, if it's just a conflict of Yuji saving Megumi who's simply too suicidal and doesn't want to go on living, there's no conflict there. The audience will not see whether or not Gojo was still capable of saving Geto post his burning down the village, or if there was no walking back from that choice. The previous generation won't resolve or fix the mistakes of the past generation.
Yuji remains a hero, Megumi remains a victim, as I reiterate for the thousandth time there's no change.
Megumi starting the merger, or even defeating Sukuna himself (maybe with a completed domain expansion) and then starting the merger is a change. It's also foreshadowed, Mahoraga is the technique he inherited, the technique Sukuna stole (and Mahoraga won't work against him he's already defeated it), Megumi's domain expansion is his own creation, created in his deepest moment of personal growth.
The process of individuation also literally requires a character fully integrating their shadow. Sukuna possessing Megumi is not Megumi facing his shadow or his worst traits, because Sukuna is not Megumi's shadow, he doesn't reflect Megumi's flaws in anyway, he's literally just a parasite.
There's also the 1001 Toji parallels to Megumi that have gone unfulfilled. Toji specifically a character who was abused, then chose to continue the cycle of abuse, specifically because he wanted to prove himself stronger than the peak of sorcery. Especially after a lifetime of being belittled and abused by not having the potential of his Heavenly Restriction recognized.
And what do we have here, but a scene of Toji LITERALLY EMERGING FROM MEGUMI'S SHADOW, in order to enter Dagon's domain.
How is Toji referred to afterwards? As a puppet of carnage bearing his fangs at the strongest around.
An incredibly Sukuna like description, number one because Sukuna's entire existence is simply bearing his fangs at the strongest around, and number two Sukuna is referred to as pure destruction, like a calamity, something with overhwelming sense of self and no humanity.
Not only that, but when fighting Sukuna, Gojo makes an explicit reference to Toji comparing him to Sukuna as the last time he ever felt nervous or challenged by an enemy. Sukuna and Toji are being alligned as similiar characters, supremely selfish people who hoard their agency and strength. Toji also represents the worst of Megumi, a victim caught in a perpetual cycle of lashing out against the world, a bad future path he might take if he doesn't get over himself.
Sukuna is connected to Toji wo is connected to Gojo, and all three represent a path that Megumi has been nudged down his entire life, that he should just selfishly use his power with no regards to anyone else the same way they do.
As I said before in my comparison to Jean, why wouldn't someone who's been robbed of all agency for so long, not go too far in reclaiming it? What's stopping them now that the chains are finally off?
Megumi parallels Geto, who parallels Toji, who parallels Sukuna and why draw all these lines between these characters if it's not to represent a path that Megumi could take?
In other words...
#megumi fushiguro#jjk meta#jujutsu kaisen#ryomen sukuna#geto suguru#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen meta#jujutsu kaisen theory#jujutsu kaisen spoilers
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