#lads Zayne

[luli-lads]

How they say "I love you".

Zayne: Whispered, right before you fall asleep. He'll also press his lips to your hair before cuddling you.

Rafayel: Extremely casual, when you least expect it. He could be drawing while you scroll through social media, and he'll say it out loud.

Xavier: Depends on the vibes of the moment, he always makes sure your focus is on him and the atmosphere is quiet.

Sylus: He prefers to use other ways to say it, but he'll say it like this if you just tried to playfully argue with him, to distract you (mostly).

Caleb: Repeatedly throughout the day, to make sure there's no room for doubt in your mind about the opposite.

[cyb3rl0v3x3]

The LADS guys would totally send you this under the guise of the meme

[mephisto-reporting]

Hearbreak Anniversary with Zayne

Summary: It was your anniversary with Zayne. One year of togetherness. But what if he does not show up when you expect him to? What if he was spending it with MC? Pairing: Non MC! Reader x Zayne Note: MC in this fic goes by the name Lina (my name... so if you are angry, you can be angry at me :3). This oneshot was based on this request. I will write this for the other LADS men too. Also I don't think any of these men would ever be the type to actually willlingly forget it. Especially Zayne. So I had to adapt the request a bit. Content Warning: injuries, panic, insecurities, self worth issues, Zayne POV

Rafayel version |

Zayne’s apartment smelled like him—clean, crisp, and faintly of the eucalyptus-scented candles he kept on the shelves. You sat on the edge of his couch, smoothing the fabric of your dress down your thighs, nerves making your fingers tremble slightly. The dim light of the chandelier cast a soft glow over the room, illuminating the carefully planned surprise you had for him —flowers, his favorite treats, elegant scarves, and jackets you had spent weeks picking out. The final touch was the flexible weekend getaway tickets, somewhere warm and far from the sterility of hospital walls. A place where he could finally rest.

You had gone all out for tonight. The garden-themed restaurant was supposed to be the perfect setting—a quiet, intimate place where vines curled around twinkling fairy lights, and the soft scent of fresh blooms would fill the air. And you had dressed accordingly with something elegant, something that made you feel beautiful for him. The deep navy-blue dress you wore clung to your form just right, the intricate lace details at the sleeves soft against your skin. You had taken your time getting ready, styling your hair to perfection, slipping on a pair of delicate earrings he once admired absentmindedly. A spritz of white jasmine perfume, the one he once said reminded him of spring mornings. You wanted to look like someone worthy of being by his side. You wanted to be beautiful for him, for the man who had somehow, impossibly, fallen for you.

Because, truth be told, there were times you weren’t sure you were.

you still didn’t understand how this happened—how Zayne, the prodigy, the man who could save lives with his hands and mind, had chosen you. He was brilliant, disciplined, and deeply compassionate. And you? You were just… you. Ordinary in comparison. He never made you feel small, never belittled you, but standing beside him you felt you were just lucky to be there. His world was one of brilliance, filled with extraordinary people—Lina, the fearless Deepspace Hunter; his late friend Caleb, a DAA pilot whose loss still lingered in hushed conversations; his esteemed mentors and fellow doctors who spoke in a language you could only ever grasp at the edges. Compared to them, compared to him, you felt so small.

But tonight, none of that mattered. Tonight, was supposed to be about the two of you.

You had fallen for him in the quietest of ways—through the gentle cadence of his voice, through the moments he noticed things others didn’t. How he’d pull a chair out for you before you could do it yourself, how he’d check the temperature of your tea so you wouldn’t burn your tongue, how he’d listen, really listen, to your ramblings even after a 48-hour shift. He had nestled himself into your heart without you even realizing it.

And tonight, he had insisted he wanted to be with you, even with the chaos of the hospital weighing on his shoulders.

The call came two hours before your reservation. You already knew what he was going to say the moment you saw his name flash on your screen.

“Hey, sweetheart…” Zayne’s voice was warm, familiar, but there was an edge of exhaustion to it. “I’m so sorry. I can’t make it tonight.”

Your heart sank, but you swallowed it down, forcing your voice to remain even. “It’s okay, Zayne. I know you’re busy.”

“It's been a long shift, and the surgeries…”

You nodded even though he couldn’t see you. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll cancel the reservation. Take some breaks and rest, okay? You sound tired…”

“I am fine, sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you,” he promised. “I swear.”

"It’s fine, Zayne." you whispered, even if it wasn’t. “We’ll just celebrate it another day. No big deal.” Even though it felt like one at the moment.

Still, you weren’t upset. Not really. You understood. You always understood.

You hung up and exhaled slowly, pressing your palms against your lap. It wasn’t his fault. He was working back-to-back shifts, saving lives, doing what he was meant to do. And yet, you couldn’t quite keep the disappointment from settling in your chest.

You exhaled slowly, stripping away the dress you had so eagerly put on just hours ago. You slip into into one of Zayne’s oversized sweaters instead, the one that still smelled like him, the sleeves swallowing your hands. You wear leggings underneath and slip on your shoes. You took your time packing the gifts back into the car, moving slowly, as if dragging out the moment would make it hurt less. Maybe when he was finally done, you could pick him up from the hospital. At least you’d get to see him and surprise him. This was what occupied your time for the next three to four hours.

Once everything was back in the car, you plopped yourself on his plush but ergonomic couch. You scrolled through your phone while waiting, mindlessly tapping through social media, until one post stopped you cold.

Lina’s story.

A picture of her sitting across from Zayne in a small restaurant outside Akso hospital, the caption lighthearted:

When you have to drag out your doctor because he won’t follow his own advice about resting. (-_-)

Zayne looked amused in the photo, tired but still composed, his lips slightly curved in a small, rare smile. He looked… content. His gaze focused on her as if she had just said something ridiculous.

Your fingers trembled as you stared at the screen.

It was stupid. It was so stupid to feel like this. Lina was his childhood best friend. She had never given you a reason to be insecure, and yet, the sting of it hit you like a slow, creeping ache. He had time to go out for a meal with her. He had time to smile like that, even after canceling on you. You knew you were being irrational, that he had only stepped out for a quick bite in his busy shift, yet you felt betrayed.

Tears pricked at your eyes before you could stop them. You wiped them away quickly, but they kept falling, silent at first, then turning into quiet, shuddering sobs. You felt pathetic. Childish. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. You knew he wasn’t. But it hurt anyway. Because you would have taken anything—just a few moments, even just a simple meal at that tiny restaurant, if it meant spending time with him today.

It hurt in a way that made your chest feel tight, made the lump in your throat impossible to swallow. The sting of it crept under your skin like a wound you hadn’t realized was open, raw and aching. The disappointment bled into something uglier, something heavier. Why, after everything, did it feel like you were always on the sidelines of his life? No, Zayne never made you feel that way. It was your own spiraling thoughts.

A loud sob choked its way out, your hands gripping the fabric of his sweater as if that would somehow ground you. You wanted to hate yourself for crying over something so petty. He was saving lives. He was exhausted. He didn’t mean to hurt you.

But it hurt.

You needed to go home. You needed to collect yourself before the ugly thoughts swallowed you whole. You stood up, tears streaming down your face, as the weight of it all seemed too much to bear. You didn’t want to sit here anymore. You didn’t want to wait. You needed to go home, to clear your head, to get away from the overwhelming sense of inadequacy.

You sniffled, grabbing your keys and heading out. The highway would be the fastest route home—less traffic, a straight shot. You rerouted, pressing your foot on the accelerator, trying to breathe through the tightness in your chest. You wiped at your tears quickly, trying to focus on the road.

The road stretched out before you, a wide expanse of concrete and asphalt that felt like it would swallow you whole. The tears wouldn’t stop, and you wiped them away, trying to steady your hands on the wheel, trying to focus on the road ahead. But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that you understood, that you were rational about his work. The reality of it, the empty seat next to you, the disappointment of seeing Zayne happy in a photo with someone else, it all felt too much.

And then—

Headlights. Too close. Too fast.

A car jumped the signal, trying to merge into the highway.

You slammed the breaks, the scream of tires against pavement rang in your ears.

The impact was instant. A violent, sickening jolt that sent your body forward, the seatbelt snapping against your chest, the airbag exploding in front of you. The windshield cracked, splintering into a spiderweb of broken glass. Your vision blurred, the world spinning.

Pain.

Your chest burned, lungs straining to catch a breath. Your limbs felt heavy. You reached for the seatbelt, your fingers fumbling, but it was jammed.

Fuck.

Your head lulled forward, resting against the deflated airbag. Your head was heavy, your thoughts slipping away like sand through your fingers. The distant wail of sirens reached your ears, but they felt so far away.

Your vision swam, the edges darkening.

I hope the other person is alright.

The thought barely had time to settle before everything faded into black.

ZAYNE'S POV

The fluorescent lights of the hospital buzzed faintly, casting an artificial glow over the chaos of the emergency room. The air was thick with the scent of antiseptic and the undercurrent of blood—familiar, almost routine, yet tonight it gnawed at Zayne's nerves in a way he couldn't quite shake. He hadn’t left since he stepped through those doors, yet somehow, the guilt weighing on him had nothing to do with the lives he saved today. It was you.

He was tired. God, was he tired. His body screamed for rest, his temples throbbed from the strain of back-to-back shifts, but the hospital was understaffed, and there was no room for exhaustion when lives were at stake. As a cardiologist, his expertise lay in the intricate mechanics of the human heart, but duty demanded flexibility—especially in the ER. Cardiologists weren’t meant to be dealing with blunt force trauma and lacerations, but tonight, none of that mattered. They needed doctors. He was a doctor. So, he worked.

Even through the fatigue, his mind kept drifting back to you. He could still hear your voice from the call earlier, soft and understanding despite the disappointment laced beneath it. You didn’t deserve this. You had every right to be upset, to be frustrated that he had broken his promise, yet you didn’t even complain. That hurt more than if you had yelled at him

God, he loved you. And he hated himself for testing that patience again and again.

His hand tightened around the pen he was holding. He had plans—plans to make it up to you. The necklace in his office drawer, nestled in a velvet box, had been meant for tonight. Something small, perhaps, compared to everything you did, but a token of his devotion nonetheless. He could still salvage this. Maybe he could call you later, ask if you were still awake—

His device beeped, pulling him back to the present.

MVA on the highway. ETA: 5 minutes.

Multi-vehicle accident. Paramedics on site, victims en route.

Zayne exhaled sharply, shifting into work mode. He stepped into the ER just as the first stretcher was wheeled in. The radio chatter from their comms filled the space.

"Female, mid-to-late twenties, restrained driver, T-bone collision from a vehicle that ran a red light. Airbag deployment, but impact trauma to the chest from seatbelt. BP slightly low, likely from pain response. Tachycardic at 112. GCS is 14. Possible wrist fracture, mild concussion. No signs of internal bleeding from the ultrasound, but needs further imaging to rule out any complications."

He nodded briskly, slipping into the detached, clinical efficiency that had been drilled into him for years. It was only as he stepped forward, pulling the curtain aside, that his breath caught in his throat.

His world stopped.

There, on the hospital bed, was you.

Lying on the hospital bed, your hair disheveled, your skin pale against the stark white sheets. His breath lodged in his throat, the world narrowing to a pinpoint focus on the rise and fall of your chest. He couldn't move. Couldn't think. There was dried blood at your temple, your lower lip swollen where you must have bitten down upon impact. The sight of the IV line in your arm, the faint bruises forming along your collarbone—he couldn’t breathe.

No. No. No. No. No.

"Dr. Zayne…" Yvonne’s voice cut in, sharp and urgent. A warning. He was frozen. This wasn't just a patient. This was you.

He blinked, his hands suddenly trembling as he reached for his gloves. Breathe. He had to focus. Had to push past the sheer, gut-wrenching fear threatening to paralyze him.

This is her. She was waiting for me. She—

"Dr. Zayne!!" Yvonne pressed, handing him the updated chart. "She needs you."

That snapped him out of it.

The moment his hands touched you, they were steady again. His voice was even as he examined you, the motions automatic, controlled. He checked your pupils, gently palpated your ribs to assess for fractures. He was a doctor. He was your doctor right now. He had to move. Focusing, he reached for his stethoscope, pressing it against your chest to listen for abnormalities. The rhythm of your heart was steady, but your breathing was just slightly labored—likely from the seatbelt trauma.

"You’re going to be fine." he murmured, more to himself than anyone else.

You were stable.

"Her left shoulder—check for AC joint separation," he murmured, voice steadier than he felt. "Get a CT to rule out any internal injuries. And…" He swallowed. “Get me images from the crash site.” He needed to see how bad the collison was. He had to.

The hours blurred. He monitored your scans, adjusted your IV, checked your vitals more times than necessary. Each time his eyes drifted to you; his chest ached. He had seen the accident reports—your car, your windshield shattered, the crumpled hood. And the contents scattered across the scene…

You had planned everything.

For him.

And he wasn’t there.

Zayne clenched his jaw. Flowers were scattered, crushed against the upholstery. The pastries you must have picked out for him were ruined; their boxes torn open from the force of the crash. And gifts. There were so many gifts. He hadn’t even known you had planned all this.

He felt like he was going to be sick.

You had so much waiting for him. And where had he been? At a hole-in-the-wall restaurant, eating with Lina because she forced him to take a break. He had been smiling in that photo while you were—

God.

He ran a hand down his face, exhaling shakily as he sat by your bedside. He should have been with you. If he had just—

The monitor beeped steadily, a quiet reminder that you were alive.

Now, he sat beside you, watching the slow rise and fall of your chest, fingers curled into his palms to keep them from shaking.

"Wake up, sweetheart." he murmured, voice barely above a whisper. "Please, just wake up."

And for once, Zayne—brilliant, composed, always in control—felt utterly powerless.

The beep of the heart monitor was steady, rhythmic, but Zayne found himself gripping the edge of his chair every time you stirred, waiting for that moment when your eyes would finally open. His body was stiff from staying in the same position for hours, but he didn’t dare move. He didn’t want to miss it.

Then, a small shift in your breathing. A twitch of your fingers.

Zayne leaned forward just as your lashes fluttered, your eyes cracking open, only to squeeze shut again at the harsh fluorescent lights. You groaned softly, shifting against the sheets. Instinctively, you tried to sit up.

"Hey—stay put," Zayne said immediately, pressing a hand against your shoulder to keep you down. His touch was gentle but firm, his fingers warm even against the hospital gown. "Don’t move too much yet."

Your body resisted for a moment, muscles tensing as if you wanted to argue, but the disorientation dulled your fight. Your gaze finally settled on him, hazy with the remnants of sleep and confusion.

Then you frowned.

“…You look tired,” you murmured, your voice soft, still groggy. “How long have you been here?”

Zayne’s heart clenched so tightly it hurt. Even now, even when you were the one lying in a hospital bed, barely recovered from an accident, your first thoughts were about him.

His throat felt tight, but he exhaled sharply, forcing himself to speak. “You should look at yourself first, sweetheart.”

Your gaze flickered down, taking in the IV in your arm, the bruises along your wrist, the faint soreness that no doubt ached across your body. Zayne exhaled sharply and reached out, his fingertips tracing the side of your face before cupping your cheek fully. His thumb brushed lightly against your skin, as if grounding himself with the warmth of you. His eyes were moist, though no tears fell.

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice low, raw in a way that stripped away every layer of his usual composure.

You parted your lips, breath hitching as if you were about to reassure him—to do what you always did, to let him off the hook, to tell him it wasn’t his fault.

But he didn’t let you.

“No,” he cut in firmly, shaking his head. “Not this time. This is the one time you shouldn’t be so understanding.” His jaw clenched, something bitter twisting in his expression. “I should have been there. We should have been celebrating our relationship. End of discussion.”

Silence settled between you.

After a beat, he exhaled, running a hand through his hair before looking at you again. “Why didn’t you demand my time?” His voice was quieter now, tinged with regret. “You had every right to.”

You hesitated, glancing away. “…I didn’t want to bother you.” Your fingers twisted into the hospital blanket, grip tightening slightly. “You’re important, Zayne. You save lives. I didn’t want to pull you away from that.”

Something in him snapped.

He let out a sharp breath, then reached for your hand, gently prying your fingers from the blanket. His grip was warm, grounding.

“Shh… And you think you’re not?” he murmured, shaking his head. “Don’t ever say that again.” His gaze bore into yours, unwavering. “You are important to me.”

"You’re important to me," he repeated, voice steady but almost desperate. "Just like my work makes demands of me, you are more than entitled to make demands of me, too."

Your eyes searched his, uncertainty flickering beneath the lingering haze of exhaustion. But Zayne’s gaze didn’t waver.

"I know I should have been there," he said again, quieter this time. He hesitated for only a fraction of a second before brushing a thumb over the edge of your jaw, tilting your face slightly. “When I saw you on this bed when I entered the ER… pale, unconscious… I haven’t felt fear like that before," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "Not in all my years of doing this. Not like that."

You didn’t say anything, but your hand came up slowly, resting over his.

He closed his eyes briefly, exhaling.

This—this was what he almost lost.

His jaw clenched, then loosened as he exhaled. “I don’t want to ever feel it again.”

Another pause.

Zayne inhaled deeply, steadying himself. His hand still cupped your cheek, his thumb tracing absentminded circles against your skin, as if reassuring himself that you were still here. That you were warm. That he hadn’t lost you.

“I know I say I’m sorry a lot… and it probably has lost meaning to you.” he murmured; his voice rough with emotion. His lips pressed into a thin line, as if struggling to put his feelings into something more tangible. “I should have been there. And I will be. Every step of the way until you’re fully recovered and after....”

His eyes flickered downward, scanning you like the doctor he was, but this was different. This wasn’t just clinical analysis—this was personal. "You got lucky," he admitted, exhaling through his nose. "Blunt force trauma to the ribs, a mild concussion, and a broken wrist. Some lacerations on your arm and leg, but nothing deep enough to require surgical intervention. The worst was the head trauma, but the scans came back clear. No bleeding, no swelling. That’s the only reason I’m not having a complete breakdown right now…" His fingers ghosted over your arm, careful not to apply pressure. "Nothing life-threatening or with lasting consequences. But still… you shouldn’t have had to go through that alone." His jaw tensed. "Not when you have me."

You gave him a small, tired smile at that, and something inside him twisted.

He pulled back slightly, just enough to reach into his pocket, his fingers closing around the small velvet box. He’d gone to his office to clock off for the day to be beside you when he picked it up from his drawer. The very box he wanted to give you today. The one that was supposed to be given in a far more joyful setting. This was supposed to be today. A night spent celebrating the two of you—not this. Not hospital beds and IV drips and the hollow fear that had nearly swallowed him whole.

But none of that mattered now.

What mattered was that you were here. And this… this was still yours.

His throat felt thick as he flipped it open, revealing the necklace inside—a delicate silver chain holding a white jasmine pendant, smooth and polished, its petals carved with intricate detail. And behind it, barely visible, were his initials.

His fingers trembled just slightly as he took it out.

"I was supposed to give this to you today," he admitted, voice lower now, almost guilty. "Before all of this. Before I let my own priorities get in the way of what really mattered." He glanced up at you, and for the first time in a long time, he looked vulnerable. "I don’t want you to ever think that you come second. Because you don’t. You never have."

Gently, he reached around your neck, his touch featherlight as he fastened the clasp. The cool metal of the pendant settled just above your collarbone, resting against your skin. His fingertips lingered there, just briefly.

Then he let out a slow breath, tilting your chin up just slightly with his knuckles. His mind still reeled with everything that had happened, with everything he should have done differently.

"I love you," he said, and this time there was no hesitation, no wry smirk to mask his emotions, no half-hearted deflection. Just honesty, raw and unguarded. "Even when I do a crappy job at showing it." He didn’t need you to say it back—he just needed you to know.

For a moment, silence stretched between you. Then, his lips quirked, just slightly, into something softer. "And since I’m apparently on mandatory bedside duty, I hope you’re ready to be completely spoiled. I’m talking fresh coffee, extra pillows, a ridiculous number of medical advices—"

A small, breathy laugh escaped you, and Zayne felt something in his chest loosen at the sound. Then, slowly, you lifted a hand, brushing your fingertips over the pendant before reaching up to cup his cheek.

Zayne leaned into your touch instinctively, exhaling softly. He smiled, finally, pressing his forehead lightly against yours. "Yeah," he murmured. "We’ll be just fine. I've got you sweetheart... I'll always be here for you."

AN: reblogs, feedback and opinions are appreciated!

Rafayel version |

Taglist: @cordidy, @natimiles @leighsartworks216 @notisekais @raining4food @fallthelong @pomegranatepip @juliuscaesarsstabbedback @krystallevine @lemurianmaster @nenggie @loverindeepspace @sinsodom

[muqingslover]

Ok, so... this might be a bit of a +18 think piece, but... what do you think the lads men would have as their top 3 kinks? I started thinking about it after I read the Xavier somno one, lol. Maybe I'm crazy but I think Caleb would have blindfolds/rope play in his top 3 (on mc not on him, since he wants to see all of you but is very resultant to show all of himself back due to fear of rejection+ if mc is tied up she can't leave)

[ choosing only three was a lot harder than I thought whew. Also, I'm testing out different layouts rn so don't mind me (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ]

Xavier

Predator/Prey Play: This guy is the literal definition of wolf in sheep's clothing. What gets him going is the thrill of the hunt and the turntables (his specialty), which is why he will often let you think you're in control and have your fun teasing him only to then pounce when you least expect. If you run from him then you better pray he won't catch you or not.

Exhibitionism: This might be a hot take but walk with me. Xavier is a very jealous man so he won't ever allow anyone to actually see you, buuuut he is very into letting others know you belong to him. You gotta leave for a mission with someone else? Not to worry, all he needs is 10 minutes in the bathroom stall. The bread guy is back at it again? It can't be helped, he'll just have to fuck against the door while he's knocking to show you're busy. He'd love to see you struggling (and failing) to keep your voice down and looks like a smug cat when others notice the marks he left on you.

Cunnilingus: This man eats pussy like a goddamn champ. He absolutely adores having your thighs wrapped around his head, to the point he finds it comforting, and the feeling of his tongue stretching open your dripping pussy for his cock later. Your taste is something he could have every day, which he will if you let him, and he takes pride when you're left a writhing, whimpering mess that begs for him to fuck you.

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Zayne

Bondage: The joke about him tying MC up with surgical knots was definitely not a joke. In my opinion, rather than the power rush over the control he has over you, what really gets him off is the trust you put in his hands. Bondage is all about having faith in your partner to never truly hurt you and knowing you see him that way makes him feel beyond special. Given the chance he'd love to have you wrapped in dark blue, silky ribbons and the aftercare is top tier with this guy.

Lingerie: For some reason I feel like Zayne is REALLY into seeing you wearing lingerie. Ladies, feel free to tease him by telling him you're wearing one, but not letting him see until he's home much later. He'll spend the entire day imagining what type of lace you have under your clothes and he pretty please asks you to strip for him as a reward for waiting.

Phone Sex: Another one I just have a feeling it's his thing. I mean, he is a busy man and sometimes it can't be helped, people have needs yk. He'd like the feeling of knowing you think of him as much as he does of you when the other is not around. The photos you send and the sounds of your needy whines right next to his ear goes straight to his cock and he is mortified when the post-nut clarity hits him and he realizes what he did in his own office.

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Caleb

Overstimulation: I'm an overly sensitive Caleb truther. The overstimulation has his head spinning so good that he can barely form a coherent thought that isn't your name while he slams into your pussy for the nth time like a desperate man. He doesn't want to simply break you he wants to break together, to the point neither of you can think about anything else besides how good it feels.

Roleplaying: I've lost count of the amount of times we've seen him and MC roleplaying and this man will unironically take it to the bedroom. It starts as a joke where he's only doing it to make you laugh, but then he won't allow you to break character and will edge you until you say your "lines" correctly. Forceful and cold soldier? Check. Teasing and pervy Gege? of course. A loving and gentle husband? Sign him up. Strict teacher? No need to ask twice.

Brat Taming: Now defying Caleb is the equivalent of waving a red flag in front of a bull and you better run because when he catches you you're done for. He needs you to need him as much as he needs you and if he has to break you for you to admit it then he will. The rush of being the one in charge and "taking care" of you in a way no one else will is enough to have his cock throbbing.

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Sylus

Breeding AND Biting: These two go hand in hand every time you have sex with him. He craves to have a family with you but, more than anything, he wants you to be as full of him as his heart is of you. He wants you to be so filled with his cum that he has to keep his cock inside otherwise it'll leak out of you. He absolutely enjoys the slippery mess your warm insides become when he rocks his hips into you, slowly but deep, pushing his cum even further into your womb and hoping you'll get pregnant.

Body Worship: I've said it once and I'll say it again: Sylus is a lover boy! ! ! Each kiss on your skin is an offering, a promise and a worship. He wants to know the parts of your body not even you do and give you the love you deserve. The praises he whispers against your body are similar to a prayer and he could spend years exploring every inch of you without ever getting tired. You're the very reason for his existence and any less is just unacceptable.

Size: This guy is not only big but he's also very large. He is a softie who likes to tease you about how small you are compared to him while he holds your hand and pretends he doesn't hear your complaints about him suffocating you after the draped his heavy body over yours. That feeling of satisfaction extends when he has to gently coo you and kiss your tears away while he's spreading your little hole open. He can't help the fangy grin on his lips when he feels his cock bulge on your tummy and he holds your hand over the spot so you feel how deep he is inside of you as well.

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Rafayel

Rough Sex: Another controversial take but I feel like he's a secret sadist just not the extreme type. Man can flip his demeanor from "harmless babyboy" to intimidating sea god in a split second who knows what else he's hiding under that purple wig. He'll keep an almost cold demeanor while he coaxes whimpers out of you in the best way and a wicked smirk spreads across his face at the sight of your tears, spurring him on until he's completely broken you.

Food Play: That's definitely one way to make sure he actually eats. Having you be his meal will make him hungry like never before and oh he absolutely will feast (this may or may not be a reference to this). He makes a point of not using his hands while licking along your skin, tasting the sweet chocolate before he left a purple mark on your thighs. Oh, this goes both ways so please pour wine on him and lick him clean ;)

Body Painting: I forgot if there's an actual English term for this but Rafayel would love to draw on your skin and watch you squirm each time the soft, wet brush went over your perked up nipples. He'd scold you when you move because you're making him smudge the lines and holds you in place with his free hand, warning you to stop or he'll take "extreme measures" to make you keep still. You are the only one he'd ever dare to call a masterpiece.

[blueberrisdove-sideblog]

. 🌷 FAVE S★X POSITION ?!

── ❀˖° SYLUS’S favorite sex position is—cowgirl.

There’s nothing he loves more than having you riding him, your plush thighs spread over his lap, your pussy gripping his cock as you move at your own pace. He’d rest his hands on your hips, fingers sinking into the soft flesh there, guiding you just enough to make sure you feel every inch of him stretching you open.

His red eyes would stay locked on you, half-lidded and burning with need. He’d watch the way your tits bounce with each movement, how they sway in time with the rhythm of your grinding against him. His hands would roam, one sliding up to cup your breast, rolling a nipple between his fingers, the other trailing down to where your bodies meet, his thumb rubbing slow circles over your clit.

“Fuck—just like that, sweetheart,” he’d murmur, voice thick with praise. “You take me so damn well.”

When you start to get tired, thighs trembling, he’d take over—gripping your ass, thrusting up into you, fucking you deep, making sure you feel every desperate ounce of his love. He’d pull you close, chest to chest, kissing your lips, your jaw, whispering against your ear, “Let go for me. Wanna feel you come all over my cock.”

And when you finally do—pussy tightening, moaning his name—he’d follow soon after, holding you close as pleasure crashes over him. But he wouldn’t let you move just yet. No, he’d keep you there, still stuffed full, pressing sweet kisses against your damp skin, whispering how perfect you are, how much he loves you.

Because cowgirl isn’t just his favorite position—it’s his favorite way to worship you.

── ❀˖° RAFAYEL’S favorite sex position is—doggy style.

Thick fingers grip your hips, holding you steady as he drives his cock deep. Your ass bounces against his thighs, the sharp slap of skin against skin filling the air. His pace is relentless, each thrust forcing you down, making your pussy tighten around him.

“Look at you,” he mutters, voice rough. “Fucking perfect like this.”

A firm hand slides up your spine, pressing between your shoulder blades, keeping you exactly where he wants you. The other grips your ass, spreading you wider, watching himself disappear inside you over and over. The stretch, the heat, the way your body molds to his cock—it's enough to make his head spin.

“Feel that?” His fingers drag over your clit, matching the rhythm of his thrusts. “Taking me so well—like you were made for this.”

Your walls flutter, body shaking, gasping for breath as pleasure builds sharp and fast. His grip tightens, hips snapping against yours, fucking you harder. The deep, guttural sound he makes when he feels you clench around him, chasing his own release, driving into you mercilessly.

“Gonna fill you up,” he growls, voice dark with possession. “Make sure you remember who you belong to.”

A final snap of his hips, the grip on your waist bruising as he buries himself deep. Heat spills inside you, his body shuddering against yours, breath ragged. His hands smooth over your skin, possessive, unwilling to let go.

Because doggy style isn’t just his favorite position—it’s how he claims you.

── ❀˖° XAVIER’S favorite sex position is—standing.

His hands grip your waist, pulling you close, pressing your back against the wall as he thrusts deep, the sound of his body meeting yours echoing in the room. His blue eyes pierce into you, sharp and full of hunger, as he fucks you hard, controlling every inch of the movement. His body is solid against yours, holding you up, his hands clutching your ass, spreading you wider as he drills into you.

“Fucking perfect,” he growls, lips curling into a smirk as he watches your tits bounce with each thrust. “You love it when I fuck you like this, don’t you?”

His grip tightens on your hips, his cock sinking deeper with each thrust. The pressure on your clit builds as he drags his thumb across it, just enough to push you to the edge. His pace doesn’t falter, relentless, unyielding.

“Look at you—so fucking wrecked already,” he taunts, voice rough and mocking, his cock filling you completely with every sharp thrust. “Can’t take much more, can you?”

You’re close, your body trembling, your pussy tightening around him as he fucks you harder, faster. His face inches from yours, breath hot against your ear as he growls, “Come for me, now.”

The way he drives into you with such precision, the way his body demands you to fall apart under him—it’s not just sex, it’s domination. You come hard, and Xavier doesn’t stop until he spills inside you, his grip on your waist bruising as he holds you against him, claiming you.

Standing isn’t just his favorite position—it’s where he asserts his control, taking you as his completely.

── ❀˖° CALEB’S favorite sex position is—reverse cowgirl.

He watches as you ride him, your back to him, your ass just within reach of his hands. His fingers dig into your hips, guiding you to move the way he wants, but he lets you take control, watching every move, every roll of your hips as you grind down onto him. He’s hooked on the way your body moves, the way your ass sways with each thrust, the sight of your pussy swallowing him whole.

“Fuck,” he mutters, voice rough, hands roaming to your ass, squeezing and pulling you down harder, needing to feel you all over him. “You look so fucking hot like this, pipsqueak.”

He doesn’t need to say much—he’s focused on you, eyes fixed on the way your tits bounce with each movement, how your skin glistens with sweat, the soft moans escaping your lips as you get lost in the rhythm.

One hand slips up your back, cupping the curve of your spine, pushing you down onto him just a little deeper, making you gasp. His other hand trails down to where your bodies meet, his thumb brushing over your clit, adding pressure, pushing you closer to the edge.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he urges, his voice a low growl. “I want to see you fall apart on my cock.”

His thrusts grow deeper, harder, matching the way you move. He feels you tense, your walls tightening around him, and he knows you’re close. He keeps pushing, his hands guiding you, making sure you feel every inch of him as your orgasm crashes over you, your body jerking as you come undone.

And when you’re still, breathless, he holds you there, his grip firm on your hips as he spills inside you, the sensation of you moving on top of him driving him wild.

Because reverse cowgirl isn’t just his favorite position—it’s where he gets to watch you take everything he’s giving, all while making sure you never forget how badly he wants you.

── ❀˖° ZAYNE’S favorite sex position is—spooning.

He pulls you close, his strong arms wrapping around your waist, keeping you pressed flush against him as he positions his cock at your entrance. His body is firm against yours, and he starts to move slowly, rocking his hips in a steady rhythm, burying himself deep as you both settle into the comfort of the position. The feeling of his chest against your back, his breath warm against your neck, adds a layer of intimacy to the heat building between you.

His hands slide down your body, one cupping your breast, squeezing gently, the other slipping between your legs to rub your clit in slow, deliberate circles, matching the rhythm of his thrusts. Each movement is measured, designed to make you feel every inch of him inside you, his cock stretching your pussy out with every deep push.

“God, you feel so good,” he whispers in your ear, voice low and needy. “I can’t get enough of you.”

You’re so close, your body trembling in anticipation, but Zayne doesn’t rush—he keeps his pace steady, making sure you feel the burn, the tension building slowly between your legs. His lips press against your neck, teeth grazing your skin as his movements get a little harder, a little faster. His hand on your clit increases in pressure, and your walls tighten around him as the pleasure mounts.

“I want you to come for me,” he murmurs, thrusting deeper. “Now.”

With one final thrust, his cock hits all the right spots, and you come hard, your cunt tightening around him as he follows right after, spilling inside you, staying deep and pressed close, savoring the moment.

Because spooning isn’t just his favorite position—it’s where he finds the perfect mix of passion and closeness, where he can make you feel safe and completely owned at the same time.

© 2024-2025 blueberrisdove-sideblog all rights reserved. pretty please, do not steal my dividers, translate and plagiarize any of my works, or either repost my works in any other platform without asking, thank you!

[theogballhandler]

I’m actually fucking cackling

[pearlymel]

Immediate disorder

Sum. You walked right into that trap. Did you know it was coming? Absolutely (not).

Warnings. NSFW, smut, fem reader, unprotected sex, noncon(?), slight nipple play, blood (on the lips), biting, idk what to make of this. 1.8k words.

Notes. Did you miss me? Jk. I hope I'm not too late on posting this. Anyway, will probably post a Rafayel day fic next!

Zayne's head snapped to the side as your fingers dug into his jaw, tilting his face at a sharp angle. The needle pierced his neck—hot, then cold, then a surge of searing heat that raced through his veins like liquid fire.

"Stop holding yourself back," your voice, almost a whisper to his ear, something gentle. A contrast to what you had just done. ".. Confront your true self."

He bared his teeth, a feral sound tearing from his throat as the drug took hold. His muscles seized, back arching against the unyielding chair. The restraints bit harshly into his skin, metal groaning as his body strained against them.

His eyes then flew open, hazel-green irises swallowed by black pupils. You stepped back, watching.

Zayne's chest heaved, breath coming in harsh pants. The drug pulsed through him, setting his nerves alight.

Confront your true self, you had whispered. As if he didn't know what that meant.

He was a warden no longer. He was a prisoner. A monster, forged in the crucible of a broken world.

Slowly, he turned his head back to face you, lips curling into a grin. The restraints creaked ominously as he leaned forward from his place.

His voice was a low rasp, "Is this what you wanted to see?"

He rose to his feet, the chains had held him rattled and strained, but did not break.

"Your mistake..." He took a step towards you, head cocked to the side. "Was thinking I was still sane.”

Shit. you try telling yourself that it will be okay, even though he could probably barely recognize you anymore.

you just had to find the activator, press it and he would be fine, right? The biggest challenge was, getting close to him.

With full force, you managed to grab him, pushing him right onto the chair where his back slammed into it, the air forced from his lungs in a harsh exhale. "You think..." he breathes harshly, as if sweating, "you can control this?”

One hand shot out, fingers wrapping around your wrist. His grip was like a vice as he yanked you closer, until your face was mere inches from his own.

“where's the activator?” frustration evident in your tone, only to be met with a chuckle.

“why don't you.. touch me and find out?” He leaned in closer, right next to your ear, "If you fail, there will be consequences.”

That's it. You had a minute to search him, and you weren't going to give up until the end. Your hands caressed his chest, unintentionally, of course. The subtle touch made him hiss, but you decide to ignore it.

Thirty seconds left. Twenty. Ten.

You were terrible at working under stress, and he was going to snap. He was going to break. And you would be the one to bear the consequences.

Three. Two. One.

Zayne felt the chains shatter like glass, the sudden movement sent you stumbling back, but before you could get too far, his hand gripped the back of your head, grabbing your hair to crash your lips together into a bruising kiss.

It was no lover's embrace, but a violent claiming. His mouth slanted over yours, teeth and tongue and breath stealing into your lungs, one hand sliding up your chest to squeeze while keeping your head in place, making you moan helplessly.

Then, you're both on the hard, cold ground before you knew it. His knuckles grazing the concrete floor without realizing it as means to protect your head.

With a shake of his head, both of his hands now grip underneath your thighs to part them, to slot himself in between them before his teeth found the bare skin of your exposed neck.

A strangled gasp tears from your throat, “o-oh,” you want to pull him away, but even tugging on his hair won't make him stop.

He presses your thighs further, “this isn't how you imagined our first to be, hm?” He whispered against your lips before his teeth found your lower lip, tugging on it hard enough to elicit a pained groan out of you.

Until the bitter taste of copper reached your taste buds that he tried swiping it away with a soft glide of his tongue.

Zayne then buried his face between your chest while his hips tried rocking into you desperately, like it was too painful for him him to handle.

His hands that were underneath your thighs made their way up to squeeze your ass before his fingers dig into the fabric to pull it all down, “Don't deny me,” he murmured like he was out of breath.

He only lifted his head to rip your top off almost too easily, zayne could sense your hesitation, anticipation, all the possible overwhelming feelings that you couldn't name at once.

You're left with nothing but you're undergarments, your skin was starting to shiver, maybe from the cold, but also from his half lidded almost hungry gaze.

Your hand pushed at his side, still trying to find the activator, but he grabs your wrist, and his teeth tugs at the lace of your bra to pull down to expose your tit to his hungry eyes. For him to taste and devour.

“Zayne, please—” you grit your teeth together when his tongue rolled around your neglected nipple, the stimulation almost making your eyes roll back.

“Keep saying my name,” he growled, his fingers that almost fooled you to be a featherlight touch, moved to tug your panties to the side, enough to expose your cunt to him, not bothering to slide it off.

“The.. Activator.. Where..” you were almost losing your own sanity when two fingers parted your folds to find the little bundle of nerves hiding beneath them, and the minute he started rubbing without mercy, is when the first moan slips from your lips.

And Zayne is gone.

“I've held myself back for so long.. And now..” he hissed, freeing himself from the tight confinements of his black leather pants. His cock all leaky and red, as if ready to burst if he hears your sweet sounds again.

He wraps a hand around his thick shaft, rubbing his tip over your slick slit, teasing your clit which most definitely made you arch your hips further into him. Wanting, no—needing him inside you because this is all you were missing, no matter how much you tried denying it.

Your head swims back to the time Zayne had silenced the prisoners, carrying a powerful presence and voice, oh was it so hot that you literally clenched around nothing.

“h-haah—!” your eyebrows furrow, and your lips part when you suddenly feel full. While imagining your fantasies, you didn't even notice him thrusting in all the way, the intrusion making you clench tightly this time around his hard length.

The pain was sudden. Sharper than you had expected, a burning, stretching ache that stole the breath from your lungs.

But it was fleeting.

Gone as quickly as it had come, replaced by a rush of pleasure so intense it bordered on pain. He started to move, slowly at first, then faster. Harder.

The wet, obscene sound of flesh slapping against flesh filled the air, mingling with their ragged breaths and needy moans.

"Could stay here forever," he panted heavily while squeezing the plush of your thighs, his tip nudging deep inside that spongy spot on repeat that you couldn't help but cry out.

"Feels.. I-incredible." Zayne looked like he was out of it, eyes half lidded, almost rolled back with his head thrown back, and panting like a starving animal.

“Zayne, mmh—” your whimpers only drove him to snap his hips again and again, each thrust harder than the last. The force of it rocked your body, made your breasts bounce with each thrust that it was maddening.

Your toes curled when you felt the telltale signs of your orgasm approaching. Then, you glance down at his abdomen.

One last chance.

With all the strength left in you, you reach out to press against his abdomen where you were sure was the activator this time.

In an instant, the fog lifted.

The red haze that had clouded his vision, the primal, unchecked rage that had driven him to this point, evaporated.

He blinked once. Twice. His eyes, no longer black and lifeless, focused on your face.

But then all the feelings had become to overwhelming to bear, his hips faltered, and the force of his release made him whine quietly, the back of his hand covering his mouth.

His face, full of ecstasy, made you cum right on the spot as well, “ah shit—” you press your lips together, covering your face using both of your shaky hands as you moved your hips sloppily until you both completely stopped.

Then, a new realization dawned. A cold, hard truth that settled in the pit of his stomach like a stone.

He had hurt you.

The breath left his lungs in a shuddering exhale, and for a moment, he couldn't move. Couldn't think. Could only stare down at you with a dawning horror etched into every line of his face.

“No…” His voice was a hoarse, broken whisper. you could see the way his body started shaking when he slowly pulled out to not hurt you, and the way his shaky hands tried covering your chest up to maintain some decency.

He had never meant for this to happen. Never wanted to hurt you.

And yet, in his frenzied state, he had lost all control. Had become the very thing he had once sworn to destroy.

“F-forgive me.” he almost choked out, and you wouldn't believe it but.. Was he crying? His eyes were red, almost teary. And you feel like it was all your fault.

“I do, I do—” you reply in panic as you sit up, wanting nothing more but to bring him close into the comfort of an embrace.

“I will take care of you,” you both say at the same time, leaving both of you stunned.

But without a word, zayne tries sliding his hands underneath your knees, but he hesitates to even touch you again.

So he glances at you, as if asking silently for your permission. And you nod.

He slides his arms underneath your knees and back, carrying you out of this hell hole for maybe... another chance to prove himself. To show you the real Zayne.

[bronzealchemy]

zayne never saw you cry. you didn‘t want him to worry about you, ever. so you held it in. the pain, the hurt, everytime you went through something. zayne didn‘t show it, but you knew he did worry about you. about your heart—and the protocore shards inside it. so you only showed him the light side of you. smiling, even through the pain. getting a small smile out of him was hard work, but oh so worth it.

when zayne saw you cry for the first time, he was startled. you sat in the hospital waiting room after your regular check up. nothing was wrong, he made sure of that. your vitals were fine, and so was everything else. but you cried. and you obviously didn‘t want him to see, otherwise you would have done it while you were in his medical room. zayne didn‘t ask what was wrong. without a word he sat down next to you. you sat up straight, wiping the tears away, immediately smiling again. „sorry, I was just …“ you couldn‘t even finish the sentence. zayne lay an arm around you and quietly pulled you to his side. „don’t talk. just let it out.“ his hand cradled you and you gave up trying to get your guard up again. „I’m here. even if a certain someone is trying to be strong—I’m here.“ you sank against him, accepting his sudden gentleness. he understood you even when you didn‘t say a word.

zayne was a calm in the storm that was brewing inside you. and you loved him for it.

[luli-lads]

Riding public transportation with them:

Zayne: He keeps giving out his seat to people he thinks need it more, so you decide to stand with him, and now he feels bad for making you stand.

Rafayel: He won't stop yapping about the most shocking stuff out loud, uncaring about who hears. In fact, the other passengers are now invested.

Xavier: The usual routine with him. You'll sit next to each other and he'll fall asleep resting his head on your shoulder.

Sylus: Now, this would be a strange scenario for him, but you've never seen taxis pull up faster or train wagons emptying this quick.

Caleb: Ensures that you have space while standing, shielding you from strangers with his arms caging you.

[sayangrafayel]

Childhood trio Pt. Gyms! (Teenage years)

Caleb teasing MC again

MC: Sometimes I wanna go to the gym so I can get really strong and punch Caleb in the face! 😤

Caleb: That is really cute, but I agree, we should all do that!!

Zayne: Yes, let's all punch Caleb in the face.

Caleb: No, not that you dummy. I meant let's all join the gym!

[rcvcgers]

Rotten Apples, pt. 5

masterlist , series masterlist , ao3 link

part one , part two , part three , part four

18+ MINORS DNI

pairing: caleb x non!mc reader

synopsis: you attend your friend's bachelorette party and get really, really drunk. choices and calls are made. caleb shows up and things get heated!

word count: 8.9k words

warnings: not proofread! READER IS MESSY AND DRUNK!

author's note: hihi! things have spiced up! ooh la la ... i hope you enjoy the chapter! please comment because i love hearing what you all have to say!!!!!! please drink responsibly and make good choices!!!!!!!! also i haven’t written smut in a hot minute so please go easy on me!

content warning: it gets smutty. fingering, making out, tongues!, oral (f receiving), fingering, vulgar language, drunken consent given (REMEMBER TO ALWAYS GIVE CONSENT AND BE SOBER WHEN DOING IT OKAY THIS IS FICTION NOT REAL LIFE)

my rotten apples <3 : @kebarney , @pinkismyfavcolor , @romils , @erisnxxi , @rik0shii , @reni502 , @spacehopper27 , @llamabois , @likesvader , @pandoras-rabbit , @princessfruit , @lukassafespace , @jexireads , @etsuniiru , @tinnyrabbit , @orianakira , @xiaorixx , @beomluvrr , @sanzy4 , @vickykazuya , @blcknebula , @sleepydang , @flamedancer13 , @gojosbedwarmer , @silmeria-lafleur , @ikiru-wa , @animecrazy76 , @fealy , @i-messed-up-big-time , @motheraiya55 , @vvonunie , @1uv4jiya , @yuuuumii , @okumurarinsbabe , @mcdepressed290 , @luleck , @sanzy4 , @lucifers-silhouette , @crazygirl3001 , @april-likes-smut , @kazbrkker , @l1ttlebabyapple , @writersandroses , @kookie-my-little-sunshine , @curryexpress , @earthykitsunesrain , @raining4food , @chaoticbardlady99 , @young-adult-summer , @bitchyzombienacho

want to be added to the taglist? click here!

The bass from the nightclub’s speakers vibrates your body. The lights flash on and off, other club patrons jumping up and down as confetti is launched into the air. The silver and gold pieces fall from the ceiling. You tilt your chin up, mind in a complete and utter haze, as the shining pieces flutter onto your skin.

Jane, your friend and bride-to-be, takes your hands. The two of you stand in the middle of the packed dance floor. Sweaty bodies surround you, the air humid as you sing along to the song. Jane twirls in front of you and your hands attach to her waist, helping spin her under the spotlight. She pushes back into you. The two of you yell the song lyrics, dancing with each other, and watch as men stare up and down your bodies. You can barely make out her laughs from over the blaring music.

This is the third club of the night that you and Jane and her bachelorette party have gone to. In the heart of Linkon, there’s a whole city street lined with bars and clubs. It’s typically packed on the weekends. You’ve always driven by have never gone inside, sticking with the bars you know well, never daring to venture outside of your comfort zone.

So when you entered the third club of the night, which goes by the name of Kaleidoscope, you were enthralled when you came to the, very drunken, realization that you love dancing and drinking and having a good time with your friends. It’s a fantastic change of pace compared to the angsty days you’ve been enduring.

The alcohol and music was a good distraction from a certain someone who remained on your mind. You used the hands and touch of other men in the club, under the colorful flashes of lights, to replacing the tingling feeling on your lips and hips and waist.

Your night soon became blurred together. Jane and her friends kept passing you shots and drinks and you drowned them as soon as they touched your hand. You loved any drink they gave you. The fruity cocktails were fun to chug and they went down easy whereas the harder and stronger cocktails took you an extra second or two to finish.

It doesn’t matter what you drink, though! You aren’t planning on remembering this night anyways! So to hell with it! You’re going to have all the Dirty Shirley’s and Gin Fizz’s you want! Nobody is there to stop you from having a good time!

Especially not a tall, handsome man with the most perfect eyes in a uniform who has been on your mind all day.

He is not here to hinder your plan to get absolutely fucked.

Jane takes your hands, holding on tight, and guides the two of you out from the claustrophobic dance floor. The air becomes more and more pure, well, as pure as it can be, and you swear you can catch a whiff of plain air compared to the mixture of pungent colognes, sultry perfumes, and body odor from the dance floor.

“Another drink?” Jane slurs, smiling brightly at you. Her fiancé, who is just one of the greatest guys ever so you can’t even hate on him, was kind enough to get your group VIP treatment from the Kaleidoscope team. Your large booth sits to the side of the dance floor, which is in the center of the building, and you have three bottle girls waiting to help you out with drinks for the night.

“Excuuuuuse me?” Jane leans over the edge of the leather couch, drunkenly waving her hand around. You swat at her but miss, falling forward, unable to stop yourself. Your face lands into Jane’s chest and she giggles, pushing you off of her. One of the waitresses comes up to you two with a smile on her face. Jane fixes her hair and puts on her best behavior, smiling back, “May we please have…”

Her words trail off, leaving you and the waitress in an anticlimactic silence. She blinks and her eyes roll into the back of her head, the bride-to-be plopping into the back of the couch. You turn to the waitress, chuckling. Your body sways back and forth, vision slightly blurred, as you finish Jane’s request.

“Two waters? Please?” You talk slow, trying to annunciate your words as clear as you can for the waitress. She nods with a smile, shaking her head as she walks away. You nod, turning back to Jane, shaking her arm. “She does NOT get paid enough to deal with usssss! We’re the worst!”

“We’ll tip her,” Jane grumbles and waves her hand in your face. You smack it away and look at the dance floor.

The other bridesmaids dance with random men and women of their picking. Some of them are about to take their clothes off and turn this into a whole new club when the designated mother of the group stops them. You shake your head and laugh.

The entire bachelorette party is a whole bunch of idiots. Idiots who needed to get away from their domestic lives and have a night where they can act like the party girls they used to be. You raise an eyebrow, watching as one of Jane’s friend, who a literal mother, shoves her tongue down a random man’s throat.

“Get it, girl,” you whisper with a slow nod, drawing your attention back to Jane. She stares at you with big eyes, scaring you. You gasp and push her away but she comes right back, getting even close this time.

“Stop that.” She says.

“Stop…stop what?!” Your hand flies over your heart. You blink like your life depends on it, your drunken state slightly sobering from the encounter. Jane shrugs and falls back into the couch, staring at the disco ball that hangs over the table.

“It’s kinda weird that it’s just hanging there,” she points to the glass ball.

This whole interaction has you feeling such whiplash. You’re unsure of how you got to this point in the conversation.

“I guess…it’s kind of like a kaleidoscope,” you try your best to respond, the dizziness slowly leaving your mind. Your body stops spinning and your sways become a lot less noticeable. You sharply inhale and smile at the waitress who comes back with two water bottles. You take them and thank her. Just as she’s about to leave, Jane grabs her by the wrist, shooting up from the leather couch cushions.

“Fourteen porn star shots!” She collapses into the leather once again.

“She’s terrifying,” the waitress points to Jane.

“Yeah…she is…I’m so sorry about her,” you sheepishly smile at the woman but she rolls her eyes at you, walking the hell out of the VIP section.

“Have you found your prey yet?” Jane asks. Your turn and look down at her, one eyebrow perking up. “What? Did you already forget your plan on being a big ol’ slut?”

“I had a plan to be a slut?” You repeat.

“Not just any slut…….a BIG fuckin’ slut.” Jane holds her hands out as if she’s about to light up a sign. You laugh and take a water bottle, chugging it in one go. “Do you really not remember?”

You shake your head at her. Some of the girls from the party join you in the booth, just in time as the waitress comes back with a tray filled with the porn star shots Jane ordered. You swipe two of the plastic shot glasses from the tray, handing one to Jane. Her eyes are half-lidded, borderline closed, and she begins to slump over. You hold her up, one hand smushed against her face.

You drink your shot with ease, the drunkenness quickly finding its way back to you. Jane opens her mouth when you wave the shot glass in front of her face, making an airplane noise, before pouring it into her mouth. She smiles and lets out an “ahh” when she’s done.

“So,” a woman by the name of Tonya, one of Jane’s co-workers she’s bonded with, drops onto the couch next to you. You turn and face her, looking up. She’s tall and muscular. If you didn’t know any better, you’d give up your life if it means she’d give you a chance. Unfortunately, she’s married with kids. Bummer. “Have you found your man yet?”

“She hasn’t!” Jane’s hand pops up. It’s like she’s resurrected once again but is fully awake and present. She leans over you, taking Tonya’s hands. “We need to find her a hunk of a man so she can forget about Caleb!”

“Yes! Someone whose nickname is, like, ‘Minotaur’ or ‘The Machine’!” Tonya and Jane feed off of each other’s excitement. The rest of the group joins in, adding to the already long list of needs you have for your future man.

“He needs to be tall!”

“A lottttttt of muscle! Those shoulders are like handlebars, girl, you just need to hold on!”

“Someone who won’t come with any strings attached!”

“HIS COCK NEEDS TO BE HUGE TOO! If you ain’t gargling, you’re not doing it right!”

Horrified by the last comment, you stand from the couch, phone in hand. You take the last shot and drink it, the fruity liquors easily running down your throat. You look to the dance floor, trying to see if any of the men stand out to you. You sigh, sadness sweeping over your tipsy body.

You hate to admit it, but all you really want is him.

Him and his tall frame. Those violet eyes you can stare at for ages and never get tired of. You’ve seen his muscles through his clothes. His shoulders are strong and sturdy. You can still the lingering feeling of his lips on yours, the way his hands slipped under your shirt, calloused hands taking hold of your waist. He took control and you let him.

Wait — shit — no! Aren’t you supposed to hate him? He’s turned your life upside down in the span of a quick month. You can’t fantasize about him and his plush lips or the way he looks at you when you speak, making you feel so seen.

Fuck. You’re so fucking fucked.

Jane sneaks up from behind you. She snatches your phone from your hand. You gasp and lunge after her.

“Give that back!” You yell. Jane giggles and tosses the phone to Tonya, who tosses it to Noë, who then tosses it to Tally. You become dizzy with how fast they pass your phone back and forth, eventually finding yourself on the couch as a second wave of alcohol hits your body.

The calm you felt before? Oh honey, you were just in the eye of the storm.

“What are you...doing?” You slur, watching as Jane opens your phone. She stands in front of you, swaying to the music, as maniacal giggles leave her mouth.

“I know who to call to get you over your little Caleb problem,” Jane wiggles her eyebrows. You slowly sit up, tilting your head to the side. “Someone get rid of all the apples because a doctor is about to—”

You gasp and jump at her. You push Jane into the couch and she gasps, holding your phone away from you. The two of you look like drunken idiots, yes, but you simply cannot risk Jane calling Zayne. He’d only hate you more than he probably already does after the stunt you pulled last night by leaving him!

“Don’t!” You whine, reaching for the phone. You watch as your white screen turns into black. You squint, trying to focus on the name, but the words are blurred. With one final push, you slide forward and snatch the phone from her hand. Jane laughs and the other girls help her up.

“When you’re done with your little phone call,” Jane stumbles over her feet, pointing at you with droopy eyes, “come join us on the dance floor! And tell Zayne to bring his stethoscope for…foreplay reasons, I dunno, I’m drunk!” She cheers and throws her arms up in the air. You cover the phone’s microphone and nod, grimacing as the girls trot away. You look at the phone screen and press the big red button.

Nope. You can’t do it. You’re too big of a pussy.

You sit back down onto the couch. A few left over porn shots stare at you from the tray the waitress left behind. Your foot taps against the floor. From lack of better judgment and ignoring all rationality, you took the rest of the shots, immediately feeling them take effect on your body.

The leather couch squeaks as you roll down it. You stare at the ceiling of the club, feeling your body warm up, cheeks pink. You huff and pull out your phone. Sure, you can’t make out the letters of your contact list, but you have something to say to someone!

You just…don’t know what it is quite yet.

Your fingernail picks at the crack in your phone case. You gnaw on your bottom lip, staring at his phone number.

The day he first showed up, he saved you. After that, he’s made it a living nightmare of childhood trauma and jealousy. He even ruined your night with Zayne then made things worse by kissing you. You should be angry at him! You need to be mad at him and his charming smile and the way he says your nam as if it’s last time he’s going to say it.

Yeah! Give him a piece of your mind!

You press his string of numbers, not having saved his number yet out of pure pettiness, and bring the phone to your ear. The waitress swings by with a drink in hand, passing it off to you. You thank you and take a meager sip from the cool glass, the fruity cocktail hitting your tongue. It’s the perfect liquid courage you need to yell at Caleb.

“Are you okay?”

You scoff. Of course his first words to you are those of concern and not out of hatred. You laugh, throwing your head back, body moving with the momentum, moving with you. 

“I hate you.” You slur into the microphone.

“You do?” Caleb doesn’t sound too surprised by your admission. “Why?” His question is deceptively simple.

“Because…” you hesitate, trying to think of the first thing to say, “because you faked your death. Or if you were, like, kidnapped or whatever I wouldn’t hold that against you and would completely understand.” You hiccup. Caleb doesn’t respond. You strain your ears to listen to his breathing, leaning into the phone. “I also hate how you got Darryl fired just because I don’t like him. And I hate that you ruined Zayne and I’s night because of your jealousy issues. Look, I get it. I’m a god damn catch,” you laugh, closing your eyes.

“How much have you had to drink?”

“Stop! Stop that! Bad Caleb! Don’t care about me, boo,” you groan and pull the phone away from your face, flipping it off.

“Do you need me to come get you?” He says right as you bring the phone back to your ear. You sniffle and shake your head no.

“Don’t come here! Because if you do, I don’t know if I’ll be able to not kiss you again, you bastard.”

“You…want to kiss me?”

“Yes! But I don’t like you! Keep up,” you roll your eyes and groan. Are you even making sense right now?

“Where are you?” He asks.

“I’m not telling you! You’re not gonna find me and act like my hero, no thanks!” You vehemently deny what you assume to be his plan, which is actually very accurate.

“Just tell me. I’ll stop by for a minute for proof of life, how about that?” He asks. In the background, you can hear the faint sounds of him grabbing his keys and wallet. He’s heading to the door!

“Caleb! I’m not gonna tell—”

“How’s everyone doing tonight? The Kaleidoscope Team wants to give a shoutout to Jane and her bachelorette party!”

The club’s DJ interrupts you mid sentence. You fall silent, listening as rap air horns blare off after the announcement. The music continues afterward.

“Well…that’s just unfortunate timing,” you mumble into the phone.

“I’ll see you soon.” Caleb ends the call, leaving you staring at a white phone screen.

Well shit. That just made things worse.

You got this, though! You can do it! You know what’s going to help More alcohol! Maybe you can blend into the crowd and hide in plain sight! He’ll never find you in the crowd!

Oh, to be a fool with a drunkard’s courage.

You meet with Jane and the other bridesmaids at the bar. A cup is pushed into your hand as soon as you approach, replacing it with your empty cup. You take a sip but Jane moves it back onto the counter, pulling you away.

“Is he coming?” She asks, drawing you closer and closer to the dance floor. You flash a toothy grin at her, slowly easing your body into beat with the music.

“I’d rather not think about it!” You call back with a shrug. The two of you slip into the crowd, keeping hold of each other with a hand. You move to the center, right underneath a spotlight. A few others are lit with you. The light casts dark shadows on your face and temporarily blinds you.

You catch flashes of your friend but can’t get a good image. At one point, you lose her hand and are pushed to the edge of the light’s rim. You lose your breath, hands touch and grab you, pushing you in and out of vacant spaces, filling in anywhere there’s air to breathe. You don’t even know how much time has passed since you’ve been dancing, being a partner to all.

Your body moves with the beat of the music. You laugh and tilt your chin up, your back connecting with a muscular chest. Their large hands attach to your sides. Their fingers slip along the thin material of your dress. One arm drifts down to your hip, fingers digging into your sides, threatening to slip further down. The other snakes up your chest, his fingers making themselves at home around your neck, fingertips tapping your jawline.

Your gasp meets Caleb’s face, his eyes shadowed from the harsh lighting. Goosebumps litter your skin, shivers running down your spine. A pool of warmth forms between your legs. You’re helpless against his touch, immediately melting into his body.

“Did you want me to come find you?” Caleb murmurs into your ear. He leads you two away from the spotlight, moving underneath the shadows, only being seen when flashes of light strobe by. Darkness overtakes your vision. You attach your hand to the arm that holds your neck. You firmly hold his wrist, pulling against him, but he dips his head down, lips grazing against your neck.

Caleb holds you as you squirm against his chest. You two are frozen in place, the rest of the world around you jumping and dancing to the music, the attention on themselves instead of others around them. He slowly inhales, your intoxicating perfume making place in his memory. The tip of his nose drags across the skin of your neck. His hand moves across your body, his palm pushing into your lower stomach. A groan escapes your lips.

“Caleb,” you breathe out, feeling his lips graze a sensitive part of your neck. You push back into him, his hardened crotch poking into your ass.

Fuck. He’s made this so much more difficult.

“We’re going home,” he mutters into your ear. Suddenly, his hot touch leaves your body. You whine, feeling his fingers curl around your wrist. You pull away his touch, not wanting to leave the protection of darkness and music. You want to stay hidden with him. You don’t want to face reality just yet.

“Dance with me,” you yell over the music. Caleb turns to look at you. The lights stop flickering on and off, the white hues turning to gold as the music comes to a swell.

The world moves in slow motion. Caleb slowly takes a step towards you. A tipsy smile graces your face, your cheeks the perfect shade of pink and your eyes half-droopy form the alcohol. His purple eyes are darkened and dangerous. You’re unable to tell what exact emotion he’s feeling.

It’s…thrilling.

You manage to pull your hand from his. The flashing lights return. You’re cloaked in flashes of blood oranges and purples, your body seemingly moving in slow motion as you lure Caleb back to you.

He watches you closely. Your eyes are still the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. Your hips sway back and forth, drawing him closer and closer, as the hues of the room change between warm and cold tones. Your skirt slips up your legs, revealing more and more bare skin you have to offer. The music vibrates his body, drowning out the screaming voice in his head telling him to get you out of there, to whisk you to his hotel room and take care of you where you can be alone together.

You are just so beautiful. The way your body dances to the music. He loves how the club’s lights illuminate your eyes, your hair taking on the color of the purple and orange lights form above. Caleb loves how carefree you look right now. There is nothing holding you back.

No fears. No restrictions you’ve made for yourself. None of your walls are up.

Caleb wishes to see this version of you when you’re sober. He hopes that one day he’ll make you feel safe enough to just let go.

Caleb grabs your hips, pulling your back against him. Your body continues to move to the music, your hands sliding up his chest, making themselves at home on his shoulders. You bite your lip and squeeze his muscles. They’re rock hard under your touch. It causes you to shudder from desire.

Your hands move up his neck and to the back of his head. You play with the bottom layer of his hair, giving it a gentle tug. He groans and drops his head down to yours. He leans into you, his breath hot against the skin of your neck.

“I thought you hated me,” you can barely hear his words over the music. You shake your head, falling deeper into the blissful feeling that crashes throughout your body. Your body moves against his, helping him fall in beat to the music, before turning around in his arms, pushing yourself back into him.

You’re making it so difficult for him to not lose control, to not drag you away and punish you for all the teasing you’ve put him through. You are so merciless when it comes to him. Are you the same way with Zayne?

Caleb groans. Your intoxication rubs off on him, his head now feeling dazed and hazy underneath the club’s atmosphere.

“I do hate you,” you breathe out, his lips now attaching to your neck. He bites down onto your skin, causing you to gasp. Your ass grinds into his hardened cock, the man burying his fingers into your waist. “I especially hate the way you kissed me.”

“You do?” Caleb peppers open mouthed kisses along your neck. You nod, shivering under his touch. He hooks his right arm around your stomach, keeping you firmly pressed against him. His left hand drops to your thigh, slipping under the skirt. His fingertips dance along your skin, swirling small patterns into your skin.

“I hate the way you make me feel,” you gasp when he bites down on a spot below your jaw, sucking and kissing your skin. He leaves marks in his wake, slowly covering the side of your neck with dark red outlines of his mouth.

“Let’s go home,” he breathes into your ear. You push against is hand, wanting to get away, but he pulls you right back into him. “I’m not leaving you. Never again.”

“I don’t want to go,” you drunkenly whine. Your hands drop to his arm, peeling it away from your body. You slip from his grasp but he’s quick to grab you. You stand at an arm’s length from him. Your mind feels fuzzy and the club’s music becomes muffled. You giggle, looking at your connected hands. You’re quick to interlock your fingers with his. Caleb certainly isn’t complaining about it.

“You’re drunk,” he pulls you back to him. Your chests collide. You look down and bite your lip, pressing into him even more, watching as your boobs threaten to spill out from the low cut fabric. “Let me take you home.”

“Booooooooo,” you roll your eyes, pushing away and giving him two thumbs down. You drop his hands and turn around, quickly evading his hands. Caleb groans, staying close behind you as you weave through the crowd of dancing bodies.

Thank goodness he aced aerial pursuits when he was at the DAA Academy.

He looks away for a moment, trying to see where the rest of your bachelorette group is. You’ve been posting selfies on your story, a lot of them provocative, showcasing your body with a less than innocent face.

You were torturing the poor man while he waited in his hotel room, trying his best to pinpoint your location before he lost control.

A random man grabs your hand. He yanks you to him and you let out a surprised gasp. Your bodies press together, the man’s hands dipping down to your ass. He grinds against you, squeezing your ass. You tilt your head at him, shaking your head.

“Wait…” you groan, hands on his chest, “you’re not—”

Caleb breaks free from the crowd and spots you. He sees red and storms over to you and the man. He uses his Evol to rip the man off of you. He grabs the man’s arm and under the darkness, he twists it backwards with such force that it snaps in half. 

“Who gave you permission to touch her?” Caleb barks in the man’s face. The man whimpers and he drops him, turning around. He looks at you to see if you watched him but you were too busy spinning away and stumbling towards the bar.

You giggle to yourself, your body feeling light and airy despite the weighted feeling between your legs. The bar top comes into view and you lean onto it, looking for a bartender. People push into you from both sides but you push back, making space for yourself.

Caleb takes the spot behind you, his arms acting as barriers. He takes all of the hits from the surrounding people, his mouth hovering next to your ear. A raspy chuckle leaves his lips. You gulp, suddenly feeling tiny in front of him, and glance at him from over your shoulder. Your eyes meet his piercing stare. You push your legs together.

“You’re going to cause me a lot of trouble tonight, aren’t you?” He whispers into your ear. He leans his face into the back of your neck, seeking solace in your marked skin and addictive perfume. He sighs, his breath sending goosebumps to form all over your body.

Your core aches. You fight the urge to push back into him, suddenly remembering that you hate him and don’t want to do anything with him…or do you? Your mind and emotions are too much of a mess right now to make sense out of what you want.

Sure, you want Caleb. But is your need for him that from love or has it been born out of pure lust?

You turn forward, blinking rapidly as some of the effects of alcohol leaves your body. Feeling slightly sober, you clear your throat and tap your fingers on the lit bar top.

“I’m not doing anything with you,” you state, voice shaking.

“Oh?” He muses. “Your words aren’t exactly lining up with what your body is telling me, pretty bird.”

Pretty bird. Is that his new nickname for you?

You freeze. Your heart melts at the sound of the nickname, a quiet desire-filled sigh leaving your mouth. You can feel Caleb smile against the skin of your neck, pressing new and gentle kisses on top of the hickeys he left behind.

“You should leave,” you stammer. He shakes his head. To your left, Jane and Tonya wiggle their way to the bar. They gasp for air. Caleb keeps his head where it is, which is on your right side, his face obscured by your hair. Jane and Tonya finally look at you and your shocked expression.

“Is this…” Tonya points to the man behind you.

“Yes!” Jane squeals, shaking Tonya’s arm, “She found her Minotaur! Her Machine!”

Upon hearing the nicknames, and feeling you shake your head, Caleb peels his face from your neck, putting on his most charming and handsome smile on his face. Jane and Tonya blink at him, jaws dropping.

“Where can I find a Machine like that?” Jane purrs. Tonya hits her arm.

“Babe, you’re getting married.”

“Shit. You’re right,” Jane looks at you, waving her finger between you and Caleb. “This is the random man you picked out? Good job.”

“Random?” Caleb pulls away form you, getting a better look at your face. He raises an eyebrow and smirks, his arm muscles flexing. “Don’t tell me you were going to find another guy to fuck, pretty bird.”

“Wait!” Jane slaps her hand onto Caleb’s forearm. She yanks him away from you and you’re able to breathe again. “Are you the Caleb? Cause we all know Zayne! But we don’t know you just yet…you know. Since we’re college friends with her.”

Caleb’s eye twitches at the mention of Zayne. He glances at you and all you can do is look away and order a drink from the bartender.

“What can I do to help sway your opinions of me? How about I buy a round for my pretty bird’s lovely friends?” Caleb’s sweet talk always works. You roll your eyes while your friends swoon.

“Oh! And you have that Colonel salary…good man! What a gentleman! I don’t know why she hates you!” Tonya claps her hands together. Caleb laughs with them and he pulls out his wallet, handing his card to the stressed out bartender.

Your gaze flickers between Caleb and your friends, then they look at an empty space beside you. He’s to busy talking with your friends so you slip away.

“Tell me what I need to do to get back on her good side,” Caleb smiles at Jane, Tonya, and the rest of the crew. They all immediately burst into conversation, speaking over each other. Caleb pays attention to what they have to say, taking in mental notes. The bartender passes him a beer bottle and he takes it, knowing damn well that he’s going to need it if you’re keeping him trapped here.

Caleb shifts his weight to his back foot, his butt hitting nothing but air. He passes. He slowly turns on his heel and his purple eyes immediately scan the immediate area around him.

Where the fuck did you go?

He turns back to the group, Jane catching his eye. She drunkenly snorts, her words slurred when the worst words he can hear leave her lips.

“She’s a runner!”

Well…shit. That’s not a fun aspect of you being drunk, is it? Caleb shakes his head, chuckling from surprise and frustration. That’s okay. He’ll find you. He always does.

He leans away from the bar and looks around. His eyes scan the tops of many other women’s heads. None of them are yours. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, turning back to the bar.

Okay…this is going to be a little more complicated than he thought it was going to be.

Caleb closes his eyes and takes another sip from the beer bottle. He stays where he is, drinking up all the alcohol in one go. Cheers erupt from around him, the bachelorette party howling from his side, as a voice rings out from the speakers.

“Alright ladies! It’s time to show us what you got!”

Caleb opens his eyes and rests his elbow on the edge. His gaze is met with a familiar looking pair of legs. He glances down, tilting his head to the side. The woman is wearing the same platform heels as you. The Colonel’s purple eyes trail up your leg, his lips parting, when he catches a glimpse of your exposed skin under your skirt. His eyes travel up farther, landing on your goofy smile and the way you drag your hands across your body, dancing along to the music.

Caleb clears his throat, his pants feeling tighter than before, and looks around. Men watch you, drool falling from their mouths, as you put on a show for them. He groans and uses his Evol to make them look away from you.

You’re his to look at. You’re his to devour, to take. Not theirs.

Caleb chews the inside of his cheek. He looks at your legs, gaze drifting up. He shamelessly looks under your dress. It’s completely bare underneath except for a pair of lacy black panties. The man groans, his hand caressing your shin and calf.

“We’re going home,” he says. You look down at him and shake your head. You kick his touch away and prance in the other direction, earning more and more cheers from the crowd. Your skirt flicks up and he catches a glimpse of your ass.

Fuck.

Caleb follows you down the bar, shoving past people. They yell at him, telling him to fuck off, but he pays no attention to them.

Enough is enough. You aren’t going to listen to him, that’s fine, but my dear, actions have consequences and you are not immune to what Caleb is about to do to you.

“Come on, we’re leaving,” Caleb uses his Evol against you. Your feet lift from the ground and you gasp, not enjoying the sudden feeling of weightlessness. With a flick of his hand, you’re back on the ground next to him. He snatches your hand in his and drags you away from the bar top. People boo him but you give them waves, blowing kisses to them.

Caleb’s mind is fried. He keeps you close to him, dragging you behind as he finds solace in a darkened and somewhat empty hallway. There are a few people scattered throughout, immersed in their own conversations. He heads to the back. You stumble over your feet. You try your best to pry his hand off of your wrist but it’s of no use.

Caleb stops walking but pulls you in front of him. He turns you around and before you can even comprehend what’s happening, he has you pressed up against a wall under the darkness. A single light hangs over you. Its light is dim and creates dramatic shadows on Caleb’s face while yours is soft under the light.

“You…drive me crazy,” Caleb’s breathing is ragged. He presses his hand next to to your head, trapping you against the wall. Your body shovers, panties soaking from your sudden desire. Your legs squeeze together to try and hide it from him.

You watch as he lifts his free hand to your face. The tips of his fingers graze your face. He cups your cheek, the pad of his thumb resting against your bottom lip. It’s quiet, the music being drowned out from distance and the ringing in your ears. He pulls your bottom lip down, a slight smirk forming on his face.

“What am I going to do with you?” Caleb’s voice is raspy. A surge of warmth hits your lower abdomen, legs squeezing tighter as your pussy throbs from his simple question.

Caleb leans down, thumb still on your bottom lip, closing the distance. His lips graze against yours.

“C-Caleb…” you breathe his name out. You push your face up to his but it’s his turn to play coy now. He draws back and shakes his head with a chuckle.

“Use your words, pretty bird.”

“Kiss me. Please.”

You’re desperate for him. For his touch. You crave the way his lips mold to yours. You love how he effortlessly takes control, that you can shut your mind off around him and know that you’re going to be safe.

Caleb looks at you through half-lidded eyes, drunk on the way your voice is so breathy, so needy for him. He admires the way your lips parted for him. He swipes his thumb over your glossy lip. He needs to know what your lip gloss tastes like.

Do you taste like apples? Or did you dare to go with another flavor that isn’t associated with him?

Caleb closes the distance. His lips capture yours in a slow yet passionate kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck, closing the distance. His tented pants pushes into your aching core. You moan against his lips, the knot in your stomach slowly tightening with anticipation.

Caleb swallows every little sound that escapes your mouth. He rolls his hips up into yours, earning another helpless whimper from you. His Evol helps guide you up the wall and your wrap your legs around his hips, making yourself at home. You tilt your head to the side, fully pressed against the wall. Caleb puts his full weight into you. Your fingers slip into his hair, giving the dark locks a tug when he grinds his crotch into yours. Caleb hisses, deepening your kiss.

His tongue dances with yours, quickly exploring every crevice that you have to offer. Every time your lips part, he’s quick to reconnect them, leaving your mind reeling. You gasp for air, your hair quickly becoming frizzy, as Caleb asserts his dominance over you.

His hand leaves your face, sliding down your side. He cups your breast, squeezing it before he pinches your pebbled nipple. You gasp, head rolling back. Caleb attaches his lips back to your neck, deciding to make up the other side, to show the world that you are his and his only.

Look at you. You’re putty in his hand, his to use and play with. Caleb can do whatever he wants with you, the faint taste of cherry from your lip gloss streaked across his own lips, tainting his tastebuds.

“Keep making those pretty sounds,” Caleb bites down on your skin. Your chest pushes into his, nails gripping his hair tighter. He groans, cock twitching behind his pants and boxers. He reaches your collarbone, leaving one final hickey on your exposed chest. The tip of his nose drags up your neck and cover the curve of your chin, lips reconnecting in a fiery kiss.

Your hands drop to his shoulders. One hand stays not he back of his neck while the other slips under the collar of his shirt, your fingernails scraping against his skin. Caleb rocks his hips into yours. Your nails dig into his skin and you whimper.

Caleb pulls you off the wall, his hands grabbing the bottom of your thighs. Your legs tremble against his touch. His Evol forces a door to open and he carries you inside, pulling his face away from yours, a string of saliva connecting your mouths.

The bathroom has a single counter and a single toilet. His powers lock the door. He licks his lips and sets you down on your feet. With one slow turn, you face the bathroom mirror.

It’s dirty, grime and build up prominent on the corners. Lipstick smears and black ink cover the rim of the mirror. Your face sits in the middle. Caleb traps you between his body and the counter. Your hands grip the edge of the countertop, one of his hands resting on top of yours while the other snakes down your side.

You stare into his eyes through the mirror. His smirk sends shocks of electricity between your thighs, your poor panties soaked from the way he handles you. His hand slips under your dress. His fingers make their way to your clothed pussy, dragging across the lace. He chuckles into your ear.

“You’re already so wet for me,” he breathes the words out and into your ear. You close your eyes, head hanging low.

Caleb’s slides in between yours, his foot pushing them open. He slightly bends you over the counter, moving your dress and bunching it up at the bottom of your back. You shudder, feeling his hand squeeze your ass before giving it a slap. You whine and squirm in place but his Evol holds you still.

“Be good for me, pretty bird,” Caleb smirks at the sight of you. You’re so willing, so eager for more. He brushes your hair out of your face. “Look up. I want to see that pretty face of yours.”

You weakly nod and stare at him through the mirror once again. He turns away and slips your panties to the side and slides his fingers over your slick core. You bite back a moan, gaze turning as sharp as his. 

You stare at yourself, looking at how your lipstick is completely smeared from your kisses. Your cheeks are a bright shade of pink and your hair is a mess. You slowly blink and gasp when Caleb begins to slowly rub deep, firm circles into your clit.

“Do you want this?” Caleb hums, drunk off of how divine you feel under his touch. You’re unable to say a word, quiet moans falling from your lips as you nod. His gaze darkens. “Say it.”

“Y-Yes,” you stammer. Caleb smirks and slips two fingers inside of you.

You gasp at the sensation, already feeling quite full. You gulp and roll your hips to meet his hand, his fingers pumping inside of you at a steady yet quick pace. He curls his fingers, the digits swiping across your sweet spot, making you cry out in pleasure.

The only sounds that fill the bathroom are your moans, the sound of Caleb’s fingers moving in and out of you, and the sound of Caleb leaving open mouthed kisses on your shoulder and neck. Your hips sway back and forth, fighting against his Evol, and every time you moved too much for his liking, Caleb bit into your neck.

“Caleb! Caleb, p-please!” You cry out. Your walls clench around his fingers. He immediately slides his digits out of you, leaving you hanging. You gasp, suddenly feeling so cold, and turn to him. Before you can say anything, though, Caleb lifts you up with ease, setting you on the bathroom counter.

Your back hits the cold mirror. Your legs tremble, watching as he licks your juices from his fingers. He groans, getting drunk off the taste. He leans in and imprisons your lips in a breathless kiss.

You taste yourself on his lips, your tongues massaging into each other. You pull him close, hooking an arm around his neck as you guide him between your legs. You can feel his clothed cock brush up against your soaked pussy.

Caleb pulls his lips away from yours. He trails kisses form your lips down your neck to your collarbone, dropping below your breasts. He gives them a gentle squeeze, rolling your pebbled nipples between his fingers. The Colonel keeps his eyes on you, kissing your clothed stomach, moving the skirt of your dress out of the way.

He takes a step back, admiring your wet panties, all soaked and ready for him. He hooks his finger under your panties, tugging them down your leg. He slips them off and pushes them into his back pocket. You barely pay attention to it, eyes half open, mind in a complete haze.

Caleb flicks his hand and his powers slowly push your legs open. You’re fully exposed to him. You quiver from the exposure but don’t move, watching as he steps back to you.

He rests his hands on your knees, sliding them up and down your thighs with meticulous movements. He’s dreamt about this moment for many nights. He wants to savor every second with you.

Caleb’s eyes flicker to yours. You watch him, captivated by his actions, as he gets down on his knees in front of you. He places your legs on his shoulders, his Evol disappearing against your skin. He hums to himself and hooks an arm around your leg, keeping you in place.

Caleb slowly rubs circles into your aching clit with his thumb. Your head rolls back, fingers attaching to his hair. You tug on it, quietly urging him to move faster. He chuckles at your shaking body. He leans in. Caleb drags his tongue from the bottom of your entrance all the way up to your clit.

Your breathy moan fills the bathroom. The tip of your heel digs into his back, your grip on his hair tightening. He kisses your clit, lapping at it a few times, before connecting his mouth around the sensitive bud, sucking on it. He slips two fingers inside of you, curling them once he fully pushes them inside.

Your back arches and a loud moan leaves your mouth. Caleb pumps his fingers in and out of you at a furious pace, curling them at just the right moment to make you gasp. He groans as you tug at his hair, eyes closed as he’s ruthless to your now swollen clit.

Caleb removes his fingers from you, unable to control himself, as he slides his tongue along your slit.

Your thighs immediately close around his head. He groans from the hit, his tongue dipping inside you. His Evol pushes your legs right back open, fingers digging into the plump flesh of your inner thigh.

“F-Fuck!” You cry out. Without even realizing it, your hands tug and pull on his hair, moving his face exactly where he needs to go to please you.

His tongue swirls around, dipping inside you as you roll your hips into his mouth. The tip of Caleb’s nose brushes against your clit, causing you to cry out his name in the empty bathroom.

He groans against your soaked pussy, lapping up your wetness, the sounds from his tongue oh so quiet compared to your cries and gasps. He tightens his grip around your thighs, holding you in place as you begin to squirm under his touch.

Caleb buries himself between your thighs. He can barley breathe while his tongue moves at a hellish place, hitting you in all of the right spots, making sure to lick your clit to push you close to the edge before bringing you back to a low. He’s so focused on your pussy that his Evol disappears, letting go of your legs, which you tighten around his head. He doesn’t care, though.

The knot in your stomach tightens. You dig your heels into his back, not holding back on him, as your hips buck up to meet his eager licks. You look down at him, breathless, and meet his drunken stare.

You throw your head and scream out his name, jumping into the feeling of pure bliss and ecstasy.  You cum all over his face, your juices coating his mouth and its surrounding areas. Your legs tighten before falling loose, trembling.

Caleb slows his face, precum leaking from his tip, cock aching under his tight pants. He lets you come down on your own time. Your chest, once pushed up into the air, falls. Your back returns against the mirror and you heavily breathe in and out, catching your breath.

Caleb presses sweet and gentle kisses to your clit and your entrance before he moves to your weak thighs. His kisses are sloppy, leaving trails of your enthralling finish on your skin. He rises to his feet, immediately pressing his clothed cock to your exposed pussy.

Your brain is fried. You can barely string together a simple sentence as you try to comprehend what in the fuck just happened to you. You tilts your chin up and Caleb captures your lips in a kiss.

You can taste what he did to you on his lips, melting into his kiss. He grunts inside of your mouth, the vibrations making you shudder. You bite down on his bottom lip, drunk off of your orgasm, and watch as he tears himself away.

Caleb presses his back against the door. The two of you breath deep and haggard breaths. He smirks at you, which you return with a tired chuckle.

Your legs feel heavy, hands unable to hold onto anything. Can you even go another round?

Caleb takes a single step towards you, his hands reaching for his belt, when he’s stopped by your heel being pressed into his twitching member. He groans but keeps the distance, looking at you.

You shake your head, a tipsy giggle escaping your lips. You bite down on your bottom lip and push your heel into his crotch, watching as a mixture of pain and pleasure flash across his face.

“Not yet…” you whisper. You shake your head, trying to get back to rationality and your senses. “I need to go home. Can you take me home?” You bat your eyelashes at him.

Such a tease.

That’s okay…he’ll just make you feel even better next time.

Caleb’s body relaxes. He scoffs, looking away for a split second before nodding. He picks you up with ease, making sure to cover the lower half of your body with your dress. Caleb carries you out of the bathroom.

You rest your head on his shoulder, looking at him with a lazy smile. He carries you through the club, a proud smirk stamped on his face. As soon as you step outside, you close your eyes, allowing sleep to overtake your body when you’re placed in the backseat of a car.

You did not feel good the following morning. You woke up late, mouth dry, dehydration and nausea hindering you from rushing out the door and to the train station.

Did you have time to make breakfast? No.

Did you have time to make yourself look presentable for the outside world? Also no.

All you managed to grab was your suitcase, which was somehow packed, and your purse filled with your wallet, keys, and your charged phone. You raced out of your house and bribed one of your teenage neighbors, whom you haven’t seen in five years, to drive you to the train station. You threw in an extra fifty dollars if they got there in under ten minutes, which they did.

You wear baggy sweatpants that you swipes from your mom’s room, a bedazzled “SLAY” written across your ass. You matched it with an old college hoodie you haven’t worn in forever with a big pair of black sunglasses to keep the light out from your face.

Needless to say: you look like a train wreck.

As soon as you plopped into your assigned window seat on the train back to Skyhaven, you relaxed. You grab the water bottle from your bag and chug it in one go, moisturizing the inside of your dry mouth and throat. You breathe out a sigh of relief, melting into the train’s cushioned chair.

You close your eyes and lean against the window, groaning, wishing for your hunger to go away and for sleep to take you once again.

The worst part about your inevitable, and much needed, hangover?

You remember every single god damn thing you did last night, especially the part where you let Caleb eat you out in the dingy bathroom.

You wince from the memory, covering your ears as you hear your intermingled moans and the sounds of your sloppy kisses.

Go away! Shoo! Leave me alone!

You sense a person sit in the chair beside you. You hold back a groan and scoot away from them, getting close to the window so they can have more space. They chuckle and your heart begins to race. Slowly opening up your eyes, you see a bundle of aluminum foil.

It smells absolutely divine. Just fucking delectable. You knew what was inside. It’s a greasy breakfast sandwich, perfect for a hangover. You take it in your hands, unraveling the sandwich and immediately bite into the everything bagel, the grease from the cheese and meat blending together to create the best savory experience and extraordinary first bite of the day.

It’s so good that you moan a little, head rolling back and hitting the seat’s headrest.

“Is it that good?” They ask. You can barely process what their voice sounds like, going in for a second bite, nodding. They laugh.

The person besides you swipes the sunglasses from your face. You whine and open your eyes, looking at them.

Caleb sits besides you, wiping the smudges away from your lenses with his shirt. You look down and catch a glimpse of his abs, his happy trail prominent against his tanned skin. You move your eyes back up to his, feeling as he places the sunglasses back on your face. He leans in, his breath hot against the shell of your ear.

“And here I am thinking that I was the only person who could make you feel that good.”

This is going to be one long ass train ride.

[whosashan]

Hiii! I’m sorry I couldn’t find if you were open for requests or not so if you don’t take any at this moment please ignore this.

I really love your style of writing and I was wondering about how lads boys would react if MC asked them if they are in love with her or who she was in the past life. I know with Caleb and Zayne it can be tricky but I was thinking that maybe Zayne remembered his past or like MC suddenly remembered everything? That’s just an idea I had in my mind.

Anyways like I said please ignore this request if you don’t take any at this moment or you don’t like that idea!

Have a nice day❤️

Who do you love?

A/N:Hi there! Thank you for your request. You didn't specify if you want it to be more angsty or strictly fluffy, so I did a bit of both ;p I tried to base it off of their myth's, but since I don't have Sylus' and Rafayel's memory cards, I eyeballed it. I hope you'll like it, any feedback is greatly appreciated :] Have a nice day!

For a while now, an insidious question has gnawed at the recesses of your mind. Perhaps it stems from deep-seated insecurities, a relentless curiosity, or something more profound and unsettling.

Since uncovering the intricate tapestry of your past with your lover, a disquieting thought has taken root: are you merely a stand-in for someone who no longer exists? The paradox is maddening—you find yourself envious of a former self. The notion pierces your heart with a sharp, unyielding pain, knowing that there was once another—ironically, another version of you—who preceded you. That person was, undeniably, their one true love.

You grapple with the tormenting thought: are you genuinely the one he loves now, or are you simply a surrogate, a shadow of the past?

Xavier

The room was bathed in the soft glow of candlelight, shadows flickering against the walls, casting elongated shapes that danced with every shift of the flames. The air was warm, thick with the scent of wax and faint traces of Xavier’s smell - something so uniquely him.

He laid across the couch, head resting on your thighs, his platinum hair spilling like silk over your lap. Your fingers moved through the strands absentmindedly, tracing over his scalp in slow, rhythmic motions, just the way you knew he liked. His breathing was steady, his body relaxed, and for a fleeting moment, everything felt peaceful. Intimate. Safe.

But your thoughts refused to be still.

You wondered—had he been like this with her too? Had she tangled her fingers in his hair just as you did now? Had she peppered his cheeks with soft kisses, stolen those rare, beautiful laughs that you cherished so much?

The thought shouldn’t sting. It was you, after all. The past version of you, the one whose fate had already been entwined with his long before you even remembered him. And yet, there was a weight in your chest, something heavy, something bitter—regret? Uncertainty? You should have been grateful. It was you. It had always been you. But still, the question gnawed at you.

How different was she?

Did her smile tilt the same way? Did she struggle to keep her hair neat, no matter how much effort she put into it? When she laughed, did her cheeks lift high enough to crinkle the corners of her eyes?

The flickering candlelight traced soft golden hues over Xavier’s face, his lashes casting delicate shadows against his cheekbones. His beauty was almost inhuman, sculpted and refined, made even softer by the haze of drowsiness settling over him. He was close to sleep, lulled by your touch. Maybe it was cruel to ask now, to shatter this moment of quiet serenity.

But you couldn’t stop yourself.

You inhaled sharply, trying to gather the courage that had been slipping through your fingers. And then, in a voice barely above a whisper—

"What was she like?"

The silence stretched.

You thought, for a moment, that he had already fallen asleep, that your question would go unanswered. Relief and disappointment tangled together in your chest, neither strong enough to win over the other.

Then, his voice, soft yet weighted.

"Who are you asking about?"

His head shifted slightly, his dark lashes fluttering open just enough for blue eyes to meet yours. There was exhaustion in them, slight confusion, as if you had pulled him from the edge of sleep. Your fingers stilled in his hair, and he let out a quiet, displeased groan at the loss of comfort.

"Her. I mean… me. The past me." The words felt clumsy, uncertain. How were you even supposed to ask something like this?

Xavier’s brows knit together for a second, a flicker of thought crossing his face before his expression settled back into something unreadable.

"You were the same person you are now." His reply was immediate, almost dismissive, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

But that wasn’t enough.

"I want you to be more specific." Your voice was barely above a breath, but there was something desperate beneath it.

He exhaled, fingers idly drawing slow, deliberate circles on your thigh, as if the motion would somehow ease whatever storm was brewing inside you.

"She was… eccentric," he finally said, his voice quiet, thoughtful. A pause. A hesitation. "Always stubborn. Always insistent. Never knowing when to give up." A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips. "Not that much different from you now."

You scoffed, more out of reflex than humor. "Should I feel insulted?" you muttered, though your voice lacked any real bite.

But then, as quickly as the moment of levity had come, it was gone again. The question that had been clawing at your ribs threatened to spill from your lips.

And then—

"Did you love her more?"

It barely came out, the words fragile, splintering even as they left you. Your entire body tensed.

Xavier’s hand stilled against your thigh. For the first time, something flickered across his face—surprise, maybe even hurt. Slowly, he lifted his head, pushing himself up until he was finally at eye level with you. His gaze studied you intently, tracing every furrow of your brow, every small tension in your lips.

And then, gently—so, so gently—he cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin with a tenderness that sent warmth curling through your chest. He was close now, so close you could feel his breath ghosting over your lips, his warmth wrapping around you like a quiet promise.

"I would love every form of you the same." His voice was steady, unwavering. "For me, you will always be the one. Whether it’s the you from before, the you now, or the you in another lifetime. It doesn’t matter if you were human, a fairy, or even a worm."

A small, teasing smirk curled his lips at the end, a deliberate attempt to ease the tension, to coax a reaction from you. And it worked—heat crept up your neck, settling in your cheeks, and despite everything, you felt the ghost of a flustered pout forming on your lips.

Xavier leaned in, pressing a soft, fleeting kiss to the tip of your nose, before pulling back just enough to meet your gaze once more.

"Never doubt yourself again, hm?"

And then, without waiting for an answer, he pulled you into his arms, tucking you against his chest, your face fitting perfectly into the crook of his neck. His embrace was warm, steady, grounding. The kind of touch that made all your doubts seem small, insignificant.

Because even if your question hadn’t been answered completely, even if some part of you still ached for something more—there was one thing you were certain of.

He never made you feel like she was better. He never made you feel like you had to compete with your own past.

For Xavier, it was always you.

Zayne

The only sound in the dimly lit room was the rhythmic clicking of keyboard keys, an almost hypnotic cadence breaking through the thick silence. The golden glow of Zayne’s desk lamp illuminated the contours of his sharp features, casting long shadows over his workspace. He sat with his usual meticulous posture, his frame effortlessly composed, exuding an air of quiet authority even in something as mundane as working. The reflection of his laptop screen glimmered faintly against his glasses, obscuring the rich hazel depths of his eyes.

Across the room, you lounged on the couch, your body half-sunk into the plush cushions, a book resting open in your lap. Despite the separate worlds you were both immersed in, there was a comfort in just existing beside him—his presence was grounding, a constant anchor in a sea of uncertainties.

Your gaze trailed over the words printed on the page. A romance novel—one that struck too close to home. It told the story of a man who spent lifetimes searching for his lover, chasing fragments of them across time, waiting for fate to intertwine them once more.

“Is it really me you love? Or the person—the people—I used to be?”

The line cut through you like glass, burrowing itself deep into the pit of your stomach.

Your fingers hesitated over the page as your eyes flickered toward Zayne. He remained at his desk, seemingly lost in his work, his expression unreadable. His dark hair fell slightly over his face, a few strands brushing against the thin frames of his glasses. Even when exhausted, he looked composed—controlled.

It was foolish, perhaps, to ask. You knew how he hated to be interrupted when he was deep in thought, yet you also knew yourself. If you didn’t speak now, the words would fester, gnawing at you like a wound left untreated.

"Zayne."

His name left your lips barely above a murmur, but he heard you. He always did.

His fingers stilled over the keyboard, his posture shifting as he leaned back into his chair slightly. He turned to you, the dim light catching the sharp angles of his jawline.

"Yes, love?" His voice was deep, slightly hoarse from disuse, carrying with it a subtle weight of exhaustion.

You hesitated. Just for a moment.

Sensing it, Zayne pushed his laptop aside and stood, his movements slow, deliberate. Without a word, he made his way toward you, his presence a steady force as he settled beside you on the couch. Lifting your legs with ease, he draped them over his lap, his fingers resting absentmindedly against your ankle. His warmth bled into you, solid and grounding.

Encouraged by the gesture, you swallowed and forced yourself to ask the question that had been lingering in your mind for far too long.

"What was my past self like?"

His brows lifted slightly, his fingers pausing their absentminded movements. "That’s a rather unexpected question," he murmured, adjusting his glasses—a telltale sign of nervousness, though he would never admit it. "What’s brought this on?"

You frowned. "Don’t change the subject."

A subtle exhale left him, barely audible, but you caught it. You knew him well enough to recognize when he was trying to sidestep something.

"I don't remember everything." His voice was measured, but there was a slight tightness to it. "Fragments, maybe. Fleeting pieces that don’t quite form a complete picture. But from what I do recall…" He trailed off, adjusting his glasses again before continuing.

"She wasn’t so different from you now." His tone was contemplative, as if choosing his words carefully. "Determined. Unyielding. Always knew what she wanted and wouldn’t rest until she got it." A small pause. "Much like you."

Your lips pressed into a thin line. That answer—it wasn’t enough.

"Did you love her more?" The words came out before you could stop them.

This time, his reaction was immediate. His entire body tensed, his fingers tightening just slightly against your leg—not enough to hurt, but enough for you to notice.

His eyes met yours, a flicker of something unreadable flashing across his expression before it smoothed into something composed once more.

"As far as I’m concerned, she is you. Every version of you—past, present, future—exists within the same soul, deeply ingrained in me. To compare them would be a fruitless endeavor. There has never been a question of more or less—there is only you."

His voice was even, unwavering, but there was a weight to his words, something deeper lying beneath them. A certainty so absolute that you almost felt ridiculous for asking.

Still, a part of you felt… silly. Jealous over yourself. How insecure could you be?

But it wasn’t insecurity, was it? It was the cruel weight of uncertainty, the knowledge that there were pieces of yourself you might never truly remember. And that truth would always linger, like a ghost in the back of your mind.

Zayne, ever perceptive, seemed to sense the turmoil playing behind your eyes. He lifted his hand, his fingers trailing up your arm before settling against your own, giving it a light squeeze. His thumb brushed over your knuckles, a grounding gesture.

A smirk—barely there, but unmistakable—tugged at the corner of your lips as you met his gaze. "Is that so? Then tell me more."

Zayne let out a soft, resigned sigh, shaking his head just slightly. But even as he feigned reluctance, there was the unmistakable ghost of a smile playing at the edges of his lips.

And somehow, even if your question wasn’t entirely answered, even if you knew the uncertainty would return again someday—right now, his presence was enough.

Rafayel

Laughter filled the dimly lit bedroom, loud and breathless, bouncing off the walls as you squirmed beneath Rafayel’s relentless assault. His fingers moved with precision, ghosting over your sides, tracing over sensitive spots he had long since memorized. Your body arched in protest, hands weakly attempting to shove him away, but he was stronger, faster—his lips curled in amusement as he watched you crumble beneath his touch.

"Alright, it's enough!" You gasped between helpless giggles, trying—failing—to inject authority into your voice. The demand might have carried weight if not for the way laughter cracked through it, rendering it powerless.

Still, Rafayel, ever the merciful tormentor, finally relented. With a low chuckle, he slowed his movements, his hands instead settling on your waist, fingers splayed lazily over your hips as if he had all the time in the world. Then, in a gesture as disarming as it was tender, he leaned in, pressing playful kisses across your cheeks, your nose, the corners of your lips—each one stealing the remnants of your breath.

Your smile only widened, cheeks flushed a warm pink.

When you finally opened your eyes, he was already watching you, his usual mischief softened by something more dangerous—something deeper. His dark hair framed his face in perfect disarray, stray strands falling over his forehead, and his striking blue-pink eyes shimmered with something unreadable.

"You're killing me, cutie." His voice was honeyed, teasing, yet laced with a quiet reverence. "From all that laughing, I figured you loved my fingers on you. Should I take that as a request?"

A flick to his forehead wiped the smirk off his lips.

He gasped dramatically, cradling the spot as if you had mortally wounded him. "Now, you need to kiss it better!" His pout was exaggerated, his dramatic flair in full effect, yet beneath the playful act was a calculated charm—one that had always made him so dangerously captivating.

Rolling your eyes, you indulged him, leaning in to place a soft kiss on his forehead. The faint imprint of your lipstick lingered, and you smirked to yourself, deciding to keep that detail to yourself. It suited him, after all.

Rafayel hummed in satisfaction, but then his expression shifted. "That’s slightlyyy better." A pause. "Now, how about we order some seafood?" His lips curved into a small, knowing smile, his tone lighthearted.

And yet—your stomach dropped.

Your expression faltered, barely perceptible, but Rafayel caught it instantly. His head tilted slightly, amusement fading into mild confusion. "What is it? Wasn't it your favorite?"

Your blood ran cold.

"I told you—multiple times—I hate seafood." Your voice was steady, but the weight behind it was anything but. It wasn’t the mistake itself that stung—it was the realization that followed.

It was her favorite.

The realization came like a blade, cutting through you mercilessly. The past you—the before you—the version of yourself that had lived and loved Rafayel long before your memories had been wiped away.

You weren’t her. You weren’t the one he had fallen for first.

The air in the room felt heavier now, thick with unspoken words.

Rafayel’s face fell. His usual mask of arrogance slipped, replaced by something fleeting—regret, guilt, self-reproach. He cursed himself under his breath, running a hand through his hair. "Ah—sorry… we'll get Chinese, yeah?" His voice, usually so smooth, so effortless, now carried an edge of uncertainty. He was scrambling. He knew he had messed up.

But the damage had already been done.

Because you finally saw it—the cracks in his reassurances. The way his stories about her had painted a picture you could never quite step into. She had been different. More confident. More cunning. More effortlessly herself.

More like the version of you that you always wished to be.

Your chest tightened, and before you could stop yourself, you turned away from him. You couldn’t bear to meet his eyes. Not now.

"Cutie…" His voice dropped to a murmur, gentle, coaxing. You felt his fingers ghost toward your cheek, but you recoiled before he could touch you.

That reaction made something shift in him.

The softness vanished, replaced by something colder. His jaw tensed, his lips parting slightly in what could have been a plea—but he hesitated.

You swallowed against the lump in your throat.

"Did you love her more, Rafayel?"

The words cut through the silence like a blade. There was no teasing lilt in your voice, no room for him to twist the moment into something playful. No. This time, you weren’t giving him an escape.

His body went rigid, his lips parting slightly as if the sheer audacity of the question had momentarily stolen his breath. Then, panic flickered in his eyes—just for a second.

"What?—Of course not!" The words left him too quickly, too forcefully. "I mean, god, you're the same person." His voice was rough, desperate, but the way he said it—like he was trying to convince himself just as much as you—made your stomach churn.

"Liar."

A whisper. Sharp. Accusing.

You pushed yourself up, slipping from his grasp, but Rafayel moved fast, his fingers catching your wrist before you could step away. His grip wasn’t forceful, but it was enough to make you halt.

"Where are you going?"

"Home." Your voice wavered, but your resolve did not. "I can't—I don't want to talk to you right now."

He tensed. "Y/N, don’t do this—"

"I need time." You exhaled, voice gentler now, but firm. "We’ll talk when I’m ready."

You didn’t wait for his reply.

The moment you slipped from his grasp, the warmth of his touch faded, replaced by the chilling weight of distance. And as you walked toward the door, you felt his gaze burning into your back.

But he didn’t chase you.

Not this time.

And as the door shut behind you, leaving Rafayel alone on his vast, king-sized bed, you both knew—

This wasn’t the end of the conversation.

Not even close.

Sylus

The silk sheets pooled beneath you as you sat on Sylus' bed, the fabric smooth against your skin. The soft glow of the bedside lamp bathed the room in golden hues, casting long shadows as you rummaged through the bags at your feet—your most recent indulgence. Or rather, his indulgence.

"You didn’t have to buy all this for me, you know," you murmured without looking up, fingers brushing over the expensive fabrics, the scent of luxury still clinging to them.

Across from you, Sylus leaned against the grand headboard, his arms lazily crossed, an amused smirk playing at his lips. His crimson eyes glimmered under the dim light, ever watchful, ever knowing.

"And yet, somehow, I still managed to," he mused, his voice a smooth melody laced with amusement. "Truly tragic, how I remain cursed with wealth and the urge to spoil you."

You rolled your eyes, but the small smile tugging at your lips betrayed you.

"Why don’t you give me a fashion show, sweetie?" he suggested, tilting his head slightly.

Your excitement sparked instantly. You barely spared him a glance before gathering the bags and rushing into the bathroom, the sound of his low chuckle following you as you disappeared behind the door.

As you sifted through the clothes, something caught your eye—a dress you didn’t remember picking out. The color was… odd. Not bad, necessarily, but definitely not something you would have chosen for yourself. It washed you out in a way that felt unnatural, like a version of you that wasn’t quite right.

Sylus.

You sighed, shaking your head with a fond smile. He had excellent taste; he’d picked out dresses for you before—ones that flattered your figure, ones that made you feel effortlessly beautiful. But this? This felt like it belonged to someone else.

Still, you slipped it on. It’s always nice to try something new, you reasoned. And besides, you could always return it.

Stepping out of the bathroom, you straightened your posture, putting on your best model walk as you sauntered toward him with a small, playful smile.

Sylus’ gaze swept over you, slow and deliberate.

"You look ravishing," he murmured, his deep voice thick with something you couldn’t quite place. He pushed off the headboard and closed the space between you in an instant, his hands slipping to your waist, pulling you flush against him. The scent of his cologne wrapped around you, warm and intoxicating.

"You think?" you asked, though your gaze drifted downward again, fingers idly smoothing over the fabric.

"That’s a rather interesting choice, boss." The nickname was teasing, but there was a layer of curiosity beneath it. "I don’t think I like this color on me, but if you do… I suppose I’ll wear it anyway."

A soft chuckle rumbled from his chest.

"Nonsense," he dismissed easily. "You’ve always looked stunning in this color. Or any color, for that matter, kitten."

Something in your chest twisted.

Your brows knitted together slightly as you peered up at him. Maybe you were overthinking it. Maybe he meant nothing by it. And yet—

"I’ve never worn this color before, though." You chuckled, keeping your tone light, masking the unease settling at the edges of your mind.

Sylus said nothing at first. A beat of silence stretched between you, but his grip didn’t falter. His expression remained unreadable, except for the slight glint of something in his crimson eyes—something calculated.

You knew this game. You knew how he played.

He was refined, meticulous with his words, carefully measured in everything he did. Sylus didn’t make mistakes.

And yet, you had caught one.

He loved you. That, you never doubted. His devotion was absolute, unwavering. But there was always this—this lingering ghost of someone else. A woman you had once been. A woman you no longer remembered. A woman you weren’t even sure you were.

And yet, she still lived here. In his mind. In his stories. In his memories of you.

"I can practically hear your mind working." His voice was smooth, but there was a quiet edge to it. "Speak."

You hesitated. You didn’t want to ruin the moment. Didn’t want to pick at something that might unravel everything.

"You seem to like reminiscing about the past," you finally said, keeping your voice even, careful.

His eyes darkened slightly.

"Of course," he said simply, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "Why wouldn’t I? The moments I’ve spent with the one I love should not be forgotten."

Your chest tightened.

He didn’t see it the way you did. To him, the past and the present were intertwined, threads of the same existence. But to you? The past felt like it belonged to someone else entirely.

"Is that so?" Your lips curved into a wry smile, though the bitterness in your voice was barely concealed. "Then tell me, Sylus—who do you love more? Her or me?"

It was meant to sound like a joke. A playful jab. But the moment the words left your lips, the room shifted. His grip on your waist tightened, his body going still. His expression didn’t change, but you knew him well enough to see the flicker of surprise in his eyes.

"What kind of question is that, kitten?" His voice remained steady, but there was something underneath it now—something more careful.

"It doesn’t matter if it’s the past or the present I’m thinking about—it’s always you on my mind."

But it didn’t feel like it.

Not in the way that mattered.

You swallowed, the months of quiet insecurities bubbling up, spilling over before you could stop them. "I don’t want you to think about her," you admitted, voice quieter now but no less firm. "It’s in the past—the past I don’t even remember."

A beat of silence.

For the first time that night, Sylus looked genuinely caught off guard. His expression wavered for the briefest moment before something else took its place—something softer.

"…I apologize." His voice, always so effortlessly poised, now carried an unfamiliar weight. "I never meant to make you feel that way, sweetheart. I won’t mention it again."

And yet—right now, it wasn’t enough.

"I need a moment for myself." The words left you before you could think them through.

You turned, ready to step away, but his fingers curled around your wrist—not tight, not forceful, just there.

"I won’t stop you," he murmured. "Take all the time you need." His hand lifted, brushing against your cheek, his touch warm, careful. You refused to meet his gaze, afraid of the emotions that might spill over if you did.

"But know that —when you’re ready, I’ll be right here."

A pause. Then, softer—so tender it nearly broke you—

"I love you."

And then, he pressed a lingering kiss to the top of your head before letting you go.

And just like that, you slipped away from him.

Out of the room, out of his reach, out into the night, letting the wind carry you as you tried to untangle the storm of emotions inside you.

You weren’t sure how long it would take. An hour, a day, a month.

But Sylus—he would wait.

He always did.

Caleb

A/N:For Caleb, I decided to twist it a little and instead make it about your future self. Hope that's alright!

It was always easy to be carefree with Caleb nearby.

He made the world feel manageable—as if no matter what went wrong, he would be there, steady as ever, grounding you with nothing more than a glance. You hated how much you depended on him, how much you needed him, but he made it feel so natural, so right.

And even now, as you perched on the kitchen counter, watching the way his muscled back flexed with each movement, the rhythmic sound of his knife against the cutting board filling the space between you, you thought—maybe this is it. Maybe this is all I need.

Your gaze lingered. It was the only sight you ever wanted to see.

Caleb, as if sensing your attention, let out a low chuckle. "I can feel you staring, pipsqueak." He turned his head slightly, a boyish grin tugging at his lips. "Should I be flattered or concerned?"

Your heart stuttered. No matter how much he changed over the years, that grin—that teasing, infuriating grin—never did.

"You're a terrible chef," you huffed, crossing your arms. "I’ve been waiting for my dish for, what? An hour now?"

He snorted. "Fifteen minutes, actually."

"Felt longer."

"Impatient as ever." He shook his head, flipping something onto a plate with practiced ease.

You chuckled softly, but the warmth in your chest flickered, cooling as a shadow of uncertainty crept into your mind. You hated thinking about the future. The unpredictability of it, the way it loomed, stretching out like an abyss, no matter how tightly you tried to hold onto the present.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice Caleb moving until his presence was right there. His hand shot out, pinching your cheek.

"Finally got your attention, pips." His voice was teasing, but the weight behind it was unmistakable.

You groaned, swatting his hand away as he set your plate aside. His violet eyes—always so sharp, so unnervingly aware—locked onto yours.

"What's going on in that little head of yours, hmm?" He leaned in slightly, voice still playful, but now edged with something serious.

You hesitated.

It was stupid. You knew it was stupid to ask. But the words clawed at your throat, relentless.

"I was just thinking..." you mumbled, staring down at your dangling feet.

"Rare sight." He smirked.

You shot him a glare and shoved at his chest, earning a low chuckle.

"Shut up." You exhaled, fingers tightening around the hem of your shirt. Then, before you could lose your nerve— "Caleb, do you see me in your future?"

The teasing glint in his eyes faded instantly.

For the first time in the conversation, his smirk disappeared, replaced by something unreadable. He stared at you, brow furrowing slightly, as if trying to figure out why the hell you’d ask something so ridiculous.

Then—without hesitation— "You’re the only thing I’m certain about in my future."

Your breath hitched.

"It’s you, by my side, exploiting me as your personal slave." His lips quirked up, but you knew him too well. The humor was a shield, a flimsy attempt to soften the truth beneath it.

And the truth was—Caleb didn’t make promises easily. He was a liar, through and through. You knew that. Hell, he was probably the biggest liar you’d ever met.

But right now?

There was no lie in his voice. No hesitation in his certainty.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, the future didn’t feel so terrifying.

But doubt was a cruel thing. It never let go easily.

"But what if I’m not the same?" you murmured, fingers idly toying with the fabric of your shirt.

Caleb scoffed, ruffling your hair with a tenderness that contradicted the smug grin on his face.

"Then I’ll adapt to whatever version of you I get." His voice was soft, but his grip—his presence—was solid.

Your throat tightened as warmth bloomed in your chest. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, breathing him in.

"Even if I become the worst version of myself?" you teased, tilting your head slightly.

Caleb hummed, amused. "If that’s the case, I’ll just make sure I become the best version of myself." He leaned in, voice dropping to something lower, something that sent a shiver down your spine. "And if your worst self turns out to be particularly sadistic, well..." His lips barely brushed against yours, his breath warm against your skin. "I’ll make sure to satisfy your cravings, baby"

Heat coiled in your stomach. You barely had a second to react before he pulled back, pressing a finger to your lips just as you tried to close the distance.

"Ah-ah. Eat first, pips."

You groaned. "You’re impossible."

He chuckled, eyes glinting with something dark, something possessive. Something that promised—no matter what version of yourself you became, he would always be there.

With Caleb, there was only one certainty in life—

You would always have someone who loved you unconditionally.

[beeschmee]

just thinking about how a certain childhood duo interacted with mc over the years ₊˚⊹♡

notes: slightly suggestive, mdni. be prepared for more duo content in the future because the thought of them w/ mc is delicious. not proofread, but enjoy~

caleb and zayne! who always held your hands as the three of you walked through the park, swinging you in air just to here those bubbly giggles ripple out of your mouth. caleb always makes sure the intertwine your fingers when you land, his thumb rubbing over the back of your hand, while zayne cups your hand in his, palm to palm, warming him up. nobody lets go until you’re at zayne’s doorstep, snot running down your nose at the fact he can’t come live with you, just like caleb.

caleb and zayne! who text daily to discuss any and everything you after zayne moves away. caleb tells him that you’ve started making more friends and are going out more. the teary faced emoji he tacks on at the end has a soft laugh escape zayne as he peaks at the notification over his pile of textbooks. caleb sends a barrage of texts, zayne reacting to every single one in acknowledgement. on the days caleb sneaks a photo of you, zayne saves it into the album he’s dedicated solely to you.

caleb! who lets you burrow your head into his neck, that all too familiar snot and tears soaking into his shirt as you’re wrecked with how much you miss zayne one night a few years later. he doesn’t tell zayne about this. he doesn’t want to worry him, he convinces himself.

zayne! who has to resort to your social media when caleb goes silent. he made a fake profile so you don’t know it’s him viewing your daily stories. maybe he should reach out, but it’s been too long at this point. you’d probably forgotten him, just as caleb had.

caleb! who hates the rotting feeling in his chest when you text him about your day while he’s off at flight school. your date had gone well with a boy caleb had stalked online the night before and you were excited for the next date. he texts zayne, the one person who could calm him down when it came to you… the message never delivers.

zayne! who acts like nothing happened when he sees you next, stunned in the hallway of hospital. as if years of questions, longing, and grief didn’t linger within the unfamiliar space between you two. he was content with being your doctor, not your friend. 

zayne! who locks his office door when you show up unannounced in your hospital gown, eyes unfocused and red, hands trembling, skin covered in burns and shrapnel wounds. he grabs your hand as you hover like a ghost near the doorway, unsure of your place, and drags you to the couch. there’s no words, just loud sobs and the sound of air lodging into your throat when you forget how to breathe. 

zayne! who treats you to sweets and stories of your fond childhood memories, placing himself in the void left behind by caleb’s death. he tries to convince himself he fits within that space in your heart. he hopes you can fill the same-sized hole in his. 

caleb! who watches you move on from behind a wall of monitors, sweat dripping down his back after a rather grueling experiment. his fingertips trace your smile on the screen. this is enough for him.

caleb! who wasn’t ready to see you yet, if ever, but there you are chained to the chair in front of him. a twisted warmth boils in his stomach at the look of you before him, anger and shock a beautiful mix of expression on such an innocent face. had you ever looked more irresistible to him before?

caleb! who unlocks your phone while you’re knocked out from cold medicine in his bed, indulging himself in going through your photos and texts before stealing the number of a certain doctor. he kisses your temple before leaving, locking the door on his way out. 

zayne! who wakes up to a random text, peppered with obscure typos and a photo of a feminine sleeping figure, the same figure that haunts his sickly dreams every night. maybe he should be worried. maybe he should call the authorities when you don’t contact him back well past your normal wake-up time. maybe he would’ve, but he’d never forgotten a phone number in his life, especially not one of a certain dead man.

caleb and zayne! who meet up without you knowing for coffee whenever they can. who text each other every night like kids again, but now the roles are reversed. caleb floods his inbox with questions about you and is annoyed by the lack of detail zayne provides. the least he could do is send a photo or two of you whenever the other gets to see you.

caleb and zayne! who leave you standing in your doorway stunned as they relax at your kitchen table, speaking casually about their respective day before smiling at you: caleb’s toothy grin and zayne’s softening gaze. none of you sleep that night, you had too many questions to ask and so many tears to shed.

caleb and zayne! who warm you back into that familiar pattern of them. you never think twice when they grab your hands or fret over your health or impose themselves on your daily schedule. they place themselves in every aspect of your life, swearing never to leave you again, not while they’re still breathing.

caleb and zayne! who become addicted with the way you feel between their bodies when you fall asleep, their cold hands ghosting your exposed skin, relishing in the way goosebumps light up across your body. not yet, they had both agreed. you needed to fully heal first before they went further and they were patient. 

that is if they don’t count the nights where they help each other get off at the sight of your drooling self moaning their names in your sleep.

oh boi, the brain do be rotting₊˚⊹

[teewritessmth]

Love and Deepspace men when you're desperate

Warnings : implied smut obv, mentions of kids

Summary : when your kid is distracted, and you want to spend time with your lovely husband.

Xavier | Zayne

Rafayel | Sylus | Caleb

[xinnn6]

filing this away for later.. anything with "zayne" and "dry humping" makes me feral

exclusive tutorial ✧.* zayne x reader ✧.* 4.5k words ✧.* friends to lovers summary: you ask zayne to teach you how to kiss warnings!: messy kissing, dry humping, fingering, zayne cums in his pants lol, touch starved!zayne note: this came to me in a dream. im kidding. im just horny for pathetic zayne note2: part 2 is here

divider cred. @enchanthings-a

Zayne is in his office reviewing a recent surgery when you come barging into his office one Friday afternoon.

Windswept and pink-cheeked, you look radiant and it takes a few moments of blinking away the lingering text printed on his vision for him to realise you’re speaking.

“Did you hear me?” You sound…nervous, almost, which is out of character for someone who routinely interrupts his working day to sit in his office and drop bagel crumbs all over his carpet. Your eyes drift around the room, flying over his features for a beat before you’re looking away again, and it’s intoxicating, for some reason, to see you shy around him. Usually he’s the one who’s hesitant, too weary to blur the line between your friendship and the depraved, desperate thoughts he has about you when he’s alone in his apartment.

There’s a well-buried part of Zayne that chooses to file away that coy expression on your face for such a moment.

Glancing back to the screen of his computer, he continues typing, correctly assuming you will fall into your regular pattern and plop yourself on his desk any moment now.

It takes you three seconds to do exactly that as he speaks, “No, I didn’t. It’s almost as if I’m working right now,”

One of his favourite things to do is tease you, to have your nose scrunch in annoyance when he plays dumb on purpose, or when he pretends he doesn’t want you around. The secret he keeps locked up tight is that he wants you near him all the time, his hands itch with it. He notices you stick your tongue out at him from the corner of his eye, and he has to suppress the twitch of his lips. You’re back to your old self for only a moment before you seem to remember what it is you wanted to ask him.

“I have a date,”

It’s not a question, though it doesn’t really matter. The corner of Zayne’s brain that, eons ago, would have demanded he hammer his fists on his chest or pee on the desk to assert dominance takes over for a millisecond as he files through a dozen different scenarios which all seem wildly inappropriate for the news he’s just received. As usual, he manages to tame his base urges when it comes to you, and he nods, calm and cool as a cucumber.

Of course, this isn’t the first time you’ve dated. Zayne has known you since he was eight, and you were six. It’s not like he hasn’t witnessed this before; for a long time the concept of you with other boys never bothered him. At least not until the two of you hit puberty and he started taking note of all the ways in which you were different; softer, sweeter, prettier. Since then, it’s been a part of your friendship he likes to ignore.

Except when you force him to confront it, that is.

“Very good,” He speaks around a sudden tightness in his throat, feigning sarcasm if only to distract by the sudden grip of panic on his chest, “I’m thrilled you decided to come to my place of work to inform me,”

“Zayne,” The way you whine his name has his thighs tensing under the desk, and he really wishes you wouldn’t do that. He mentally files that away for later too.

He sighs softly, taking his hands away from the keyboard and turning his body just enough so that you know you have his complete attention. As if you don’t have it all the time anyway.

“What is it?”

“I have a date,”

His hand clenches, “I heard,”

Inhaling deeply, you let out a breath like you’re about to confess something. The soft, pink flush on your cheeks deepens slightly and you start doing that thing again where you look anywhere but at him, “I wanted to ask if you would help me with something,”

“Anything,” He says, because it’s true. He almost wants to wince at how desperate to please you he is, but as usual, he stays neutral.

“I…ahh,” You bite your lip, and another year is shaved off of Zayne’s life, “I wanted to ask if you would teach me…hosjskkss,”

He frowns as you trail off, speaking the rest into your chest as you tilt your head down. Your cheeks are glowing pink now.

“What was that?”

“Teachmehowtokiss,” You respond, lifting your head slightly but still refusing to look at him, not that it matters. Zayne is convinced his physical form no longer exists and he’s now a pile of ash and glasses on the desk chair.

He swallows hard, needing the extra moisture in his mouth, speaking in the monotone of someone who’s just had a major brain injury, “You want me to teach you how to kiss,”

It takes a couple seconds, but you nod before squeaking and covering your face with your hands, speaking muffled through the sleeves of your hoodie, “I’ve never…ugh! This is so embarrassing. Maybe I should ask Caleb- “

“I’ll do it,” Zayne speaks so fast he almost leaps forward over the desk to stop the rest of that sentence from leaving your lips. He is selfish, and clearly has no regard for his own mental state, but like hell is he gonna let Caleb put his grubby paws on you.

You meet his gaze with wide, impossibly pretty eyes, and something throbs deep in Zayne’s gut. He thinks he might do just about anything to keep you looking at him like that.

“You mean it? You don’t think it’ll be…” You shrug, “weird?”

Weird is the last word Zayne would use to describe how kissing you would be, but he can’t think of any others right now, so he just shakes his head.

“It’ll be fine,” His voice is scratchy, and he clears it twice, just to have the words coming out sounding the same, “I get off work at seven. You can come over, or we could…”

He’s unsure where exactly you want to do this, but the prospect of kissing you in his office and then driving home with his cock hard as steel sounds unappealing.

“I’ll come over,” You say, voice a little dazed and your cheeks still pink, “see you later, Zayne,”

There’s a good few seconds between when you knock on Zayne’s door to when he opens it that you’re almost positive you’ve made a mistake.

Because really, what were you thinking? Second only to Caleb, Zayne is your oldest friend, and now you’re probably going to implode the friendship by locking lips with him. Of course, there’s no guarantee that you’ll have to actually kiss him to learn how to kiss, but it’s implied. And the implication is enough to have your stomach in knots.

Maybe Caleb would have been the better choice; a little more laid back, less likely to make a big deal out of the whole thing. Not that Zayne would hold it over you, or anything. The reason you’d asked him, stupidly, was because he’s a doctor. He’s good at removing emotions from certain situations. As if that matters at all…you swear it made sense in your head at the time, but now as Zayne swings open the door wearing a grey sweater and black sweatpants, you wonder if running is an option.

“Hey,” He says, his expression giving nothing away about whether or not he feels as awkward as you do. Sweat gathers at the base of your spine as you step inside, unconsciously inhaling that expensive cologne he wears; woodsy and addictive. He smells like a hot, rich man - which he is. Rich, anyway.

You’ve never really thought of Zayne as hot, more…devastatingly handsome. The kind of handsome that makes you think of princes in fairy tales, or the hot guys you see in k-dramas or something.

He closes the door and stands in the entryway, watching you from behind his glasses with a slight tilt to his head, “You okay?”

“Great. Never better,” You sound like an idiot, and you sweat again when Zayne’s lips tip up into a soft smile, his eyes getting that far away, dreamy look that makes you feel like a teenager around her crush.

Which obviously you’re not…you don’t have a crush, and you’re twenty-five.

Twenty-five and yet you still don’t know how to kiss.

Zayne takes your jacket, and like usual, you sit on the sofa, pulling your legs under you as you watch him move around the kitchen. He opens a cabinet, pulls out two glasses and brings them over, along with your usual bottle of wine. It’s tradition, routine, almost, and yet it makes you feel warm. Your stomach dips as he strolls over, so…big.

How had you never noticed how large he was? Sure, you noticed but you’ve never noticed. His build is large and yet he doesn’t appear bulky beneath his sweater, his collarbones jut just above the neckline and for an insane moment, your fingers tingle with the urge to touch them.

You stuff your hands beneath your thigh and keep them sandwiched there, unsure what to do with them for the time being.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Zayne asks, his voice soft as if always is, and for a second you forget all about the kissing lesson and just enjoy the company of your friend.

“Um, sure,”

He shifts a little, lips downturned before his eyes dart away, “Unless you wanted to get straight to the- “

“The movie is good for now,” You smile probably a little too widely at him, and you wonder if you look insane.

He levels you with a look, as if he sees through you, and it makes you want to squirm under his gaze, “We don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, ___,”

He looks away before you do, moving to pour you a glass of red wine and you take it eagerly, as if it’s a lifeline. Surely after a glass you’ll feel a little less…like this. Jittery, achy, sweaty - as if there’s a thousand little feathers brushing your skin every time he glances your way.

This has never happened before, this awkward energy. With Zayne you’ve always felt safe, relaxed, and you never had to worry about whether or not your hair looks good, or if you have spinach in your teeth. He has always been a comfort blanket for you, but now with the thoughts of kissing on your mind, you can’t seem to relax. Your brain files through all the scenarios it can generate; will he kiss you soft? Slow? Will he put his hands on your face, or your waist, or in your hair? What does he normally do when he kisses women?

“When is the date?” Zayne asks, not looking at you and instead focusing on the tv, trying to find something mindless for the two of you to watch before you begin. His voice sounds scratchy, as if he’s coming down with something, but you get distracted once the movie starts and he sits back against the sofa, turning to look at you with an unreadable expression.

“Tomorrow night,” You reply. It’s a co-worker who asked you, a nice, good-looking guy who works in the office above yours. He offered to take you for food and it’s been so long since you dated, Simone convinced you to say yes, “We’re just getting food,”

Zayne nods, though he doesn’t look away, “So you’re already planning to kiss him? He must be quite the catch,” That odd look is still there in the depths of his eyes - moss green with a hint of amber.

“Wh- uh, yeah. Maybe, I don’t know,” You shrug, looking down into your wine, “I just think that it’s kinda embarrassing that I haven’t kissed anyone yet,”

“Nothing about you is embarrassing,” He replies so fast it catches you off guard, and when you glance up at him, the tips of his ears have gone pink. There’s a tension in his shoulders as he looks at you, almost easy to miss if you didn’t know him so well.

The two of you sink into a comfortable silence after that, both watching the movie and laughing when the girl on the plane starts insulting the air steward. After a while you’ve relaxed somewhat, only one glass into the wine, you’re back to your factory settings, awkwardness gone as you slouch into the sofa, your shoulder pressed against Zayne’s.

It’s when the character on the screen kisses the love interest before the credits roll that you remember why you came. You lift your head from where it had fallen against the sofa and you turn to find Zayne already looking at you, that strange look on his face again. Your lips roll inward as you look at him, your eyes flitting unwillingly from his mouth and back again twice before you look away, embarrassed.

Zayne’s hand reaches out to grasp yours, and his voice is rumbly and warm when he speaks, “Do you want to go?”

“No,” You swing your head around to face him, almost too fast, “I…ah, I’m just nervous,”

He keeps watching you for a moment longer before he shifts, turning so he’s facing you fully on the sofa, “It’s only me,”

“Yeah, but I’ve never kissed you,”

“You said you’ve never kissed anyone,” He tilts his head again, “Why don’t you take the lead? I’ll stay here like this,”

He remains still, not rigid, but relaxed. More relaxed than you feel as you mimic his posture, turning so you’re fully facing him. He’s backlit by the floor-to-ceiling windows, the golden summer sunset, and you feel an unfamiliar dip in your stomach again.

He’s watching you, cheeks a little rosy from the wine, and his lips are stained to match. You linger on them for a moment, licking the red wine taste off your own and wondering briefly if he will taste like you. You must be taking too long, because he shifts again, and a pillow finds its way into his lap. His eyes are dark, pupils blown wide, and you feel as if you’re exposed.

The way Zayne is looking at you is nothing like any of the other times you’ve noticed him staring; his jaw is tense, eyes darting all over your face, he almost looks quietly angry, but you know that can’t be it.

“____?”

“Sorry,” You exhale softly, shuffling so you’re on your knees. It’s better this way - now you’re eye-to-eye with Zayne, though it makes that feeling in your stomach even worse.

Before you can think otherwise, you place your hands on his shoulders, briefly noting the way they tense and then relax. You mean to lean forward, but Zayne’s eyes have you feeling like a mouse caught in a trap

“Can you close your eyes?” You ask, and his lips twitch, but he does as you ask, his eyes sliding closed. His black lashes fan along his cheekbones, and you almost want to sigh wistfully - he really is handsome.

The second attempt is more successful without Zayne’s intense gaze, and you lean toward him, moving until your noses bump together and Zayne exhales softly against your lips.

There’s a sharp, warm press in your lower stomach, as if your body is just now realising what you’re doing. The feel of Zayne’s soft breaths against your lips is maddening; you’re hot all over, and it’s sudden, out of nowhere. The hands on his shoulder’s clench as your fingers dig in, and before you can chicken out, you’re pressing your lips to his.

He is going to explode, or come, either way it’s taking every ounce of restraint Zayne has to let you take the lead, to get used to him and this new, terrifying step in your friendship. His stomach drops like he’s on a rollercoaster, hands clenched over the pillow hiding his obvious erection that reared its head the moment he saw your pupils dilate.

Your lips are soft, warm as you press gently against him. He wishes kissing with his eyes open was socially acceptable because he hates that he can’t see you, that he can’t get a front row seat of you on his couch, hands gripping his shoulders, lips against his. For a long moment, you don’t move, you just stay like this, and Zayne can’t bring himself to complain. But, you tilt your head slightly, pushing your lips against his harder, and he feels his cock twitch impatiently.

Inexperience isn’t usually something that turns him on - frankly, the idea of deflowering someone has him coming out in a rash. It’s not that he thinks he’s bad at kissing, or sex, but the expectations put upon him are dizzying. He wants to make this kiss good for you, even while an animal part of him thrashes against its restraints, begging him to ruin you for any other man. His hands fist against the pillow in his crotch, and when you pull away, he almost groans at the loss of contact.

Zayne is the first to open his eyes, just a second before you, but it’s enough. Your lips aren’t well-kissed, not by his standards, but he can spot the signs of arousal a mile away. Your cheeks are flushed a gorgeous shade of pink, your lips even deeper, and when you let your tongue dart out to wet them just before opening your eyes, he feels a sharp punch of need deep in his stomach.

You exhale shakily against his lips, and he can feel his restraint fraying at the seams. He wants you so badly he feels as if he could come just from the way you’re gazing blearily at his lips, as if you’re drunk on him. It’s a maddening rush to his ego, to see you so undone after barely kissing him, and he can’t stop himself from lifting a hand, cupping your chin and brushing his thumb along your lower lip.

“Was that okay?” You ask him, voice thick with something he is too chicken-shit to name, for fear that he will actually pick you up and fuck you into his couch.

He swallows hard, licking the taste of your lip balm off his lips, “Y-yeah. It was,”

This is it, he thinks, this is all you wanted from him, and it’s more than enough. More than he ever expected when it came to you. Even a chaste, soft kiss is enough to give him material to jerk off to for the rest of the year like the desperate man you’ve turned him into. But the tender, hesitancy of the moment lasts only a few seconds before you speak again, obliterating his final shred of sanity.

“Can we do it again?”

He should say no. You have a date planned, you’re his best friend in the whole world, and he made peace long ago with the fact he was destined to want you from afar. The unrequited nature of his feelings and his desires have always been somewhat safe for him, something he can use to control himself around you, but to hear you ask him for more of his lips on yours awakens something hot and vicious in his gut.

He doesn’t really reply, too dumbstruck to speak, and you gaze up at him with dark eyes, dangerously eager eyes, your voice barely above a whisper, “Will you kiss me this time? Like you do with other women?”

The mere thought of it has the tip of his cock growing slick, need curling in his stomach, worming its way around the base of his spine as he tenses. But, he’s not as strong as he thought he was, because within two seconds he’s nodding, leaning in and groaning all in one breath, his lips catching yours in a real kiss. Your hands fist the material of his sweater, tugging him closer, and he loses it, brain splattered against his skull. Now, there is only you and him and this pulsing desire he has to tuck you against his body and make you feel just how bad he’s wanted you.

His hands find your soft waist, palming the dip and clutching hard enough for your t-shirt to rise up a little. The sliver of skin brushing against his pinky does insane things to his psyche, and he pulls you, knocking away the pillow in his lap and pressing you there instead. You gasp into his mouth and he wants to snarl into the kiss, wants to make you understand.

Do you feel how bad I need you? Can you feel how hot and hard and aching I am?

Your body is like heaven in his arms, and he suddenly realises he could die happy now, knowing intimately how the weight of you feels in his lap, pressing against his cock, knees on either side of his hips. A soft moan against his lips has him bucking up against you, thankful for your choice to wear a skirt so he has access to the warmest, wettest part of you instantly. He yearns, needs and wants like he’s never wanted anything. He wants to rake his nails up your thighs, push aside your underwear and run his fingers through the mess he hopes he’ll find there. The mess he put there, he realises, and he growls into the kiss at the thought.

“Zayne,” You whimper, whining like you did earlier in his office, and he can’t help but smile at the sound. He’s fucked his own hand to your voice more times than he wants to admit, and now he leaks against his sweatpants, drunk on the way you’re babbling in his arms, your lips wet from his spit and is tongue as it laves them, eagerly asking entrance into your mouth.

“Open for me, beautiful. Open your mouth for me,” Zayne’s voice is almost unrecognisable to his own ears, a soft, firm rumble. When you do as he asks, he lets his hands drift down to your hips, pushing and pulling you along the ridge in his pants as his tongue brushes yours.

It’s messy, and you’re not sure what you’re doing, that much is evident, but it doesn’t even matter. He wants every inch of you messy over him, wants to keep this lesson going until you leave his apartment with the knowledge of how Zayne kisses you, and no one else. He wants you to be as gone for him as he is for you, as he always has been.

You’re lost on him now, hips moving of their own accord, and Zayne thinks that if he can make you come, he will take that as his greatest accomplishment in life. Forget med school, forget every surgery he completed that others failed. All he cares about is the sounds falling from your lips, the way your fingers have threaded through his hair, the fact his apartment is filled with the sounds of your kisses, of your panting breaths, his deep groans as you rock against him. Nothing else matters.

His name falls from your lips again, like you’re asking for something, but you don’t know what. He pulls away from your slick, swollen lips only to run his tongue up your neck, relishing in the way you tremble against him.

“What is it, ___? What do you need?” He rasps against your ear, “You need me to make you come?”

You nod eagerly, clutching him tight enough that he feels flames roaring up his spine. He isn’t gonna last much longer with you riding him like this, and like hell is he gonna come without taking care of you first.

“Okay,” He breathes, winded and totally out of his depth. He’s never lost control like this, never had his hands shake with it, but he takes a deep, steadying breath, “Okay,”

His hand brushes your thigh and you sigh, the sound falling into a moan as you continue to roll your hips in circles, so hard that Zayne’s eyes roll back before he grips your skin, pushing up your skirt until he finds the spot he wants. You gasp, breath ragged where you kiss and lick his jaw, and he groans deep in his throat when he finds just what he’d hoped for.

“So fucking wet,” He murmurs, dazed and drunk off of you, “You got this wet from me kissing you, huh?” He knows damn well he was doing more than just kiss you, but he doesn’t correct himself. Instead, he palms your damp underwear, pressing against the material so he can feel the contours of your pussy. He uses his fingers to push the material aside, mouth watering when he drags his fingers through the center of you, “God, fuck,”

“Please,” You whisper, “Please, please -”

“Shh, beautiful,” He presses a soft kiss to the juncture where your neck meets your shoulder, a polar opposite to the kisses he’d given you a moment ago, “I’ve got you, okay? Does it hurt?” He doesn’t know why he asks, maybe because he’s so hard beneath you that he’s beginning to see double.

“So bad,” You sob into his shoulder, rocking your hips against his fingers as he continues to explore you, avoiding the spot where you need him and just enjoying the wet, silky, warmth of you. When you whisper again, so soft he barely hears you begging him, he smiles, out of his mind with it. He wants you to beg, and so he fucks his fingers into your soft, pliant pussy until you cry out. “Oh, god! Oh, please, please - t-there, yes. Yes -”

“Holy fuck,” He murmurs as you tighten up on him, squeezing so hard he can hear the wet squelch as he attempts to carry on thrusting his middle and ring fingers into you, eager to feel it. He blearily wonders what you would feel like coming on his cock before he loses the battle against his oncoming orgasm, coming wetly against the material of his sweatpants. “Oh fuck, shit,”

You’re still shaking when he pulls his fingers out of you, your head laying on his shoulder. He hadn’t noticed the room get darker as the sun finally set, but now the two of you are alone in the glow of the tv, still stuck and waiting on the netflix homepage. The only sound in the room is your collective breathing, soft pants as you catch your breaths.

Zayne’s mind clears once the cloud of lust dissipates, and he feels a cold stab of fear deep in the centre of his chest. He’s ruined it, he thinks, he’s lost you forever. You’re going to leave and it’s going to be awkward, and why couldn’t he just keep his damn hands off of you -

“Zayne?” You whisper, breath ghosting over his collarbones.

He audibly swallows, closing his eyes in preparation for the words. We shouldn’t have done that, this was a mistake…

“Yes?”

You shuffle against him, like maybe your foot is falling to sleep in the awkward position you’re in, but you make no effort to move. When you do speak, your voice is shy, if a little hoarse, but oh, so sweet.

“You’re a really good kisser,”

The cold icy dread Zayne had been waiting in cracks, and warm seeps in. He huffs a laugh, wrapping his arms around you and pressing his lips to your hair.