#I think my brain just short circuited

[goldsainz]

Repaying the favor 😘😘

AAAHHHHHHH

[k3n-dyll]

I saw this picture while scrolling and the first thought that came to mind was "She could tell me to lick it (the blood) off and swallow it and I would" OH IM COOKED?

[kurtcobain4real]

Wh. Why would. Why would you put mayo on it.

just watched stone cry over a peanut butter and banana sandwich…. because someone put mayo on it .

[mumblesplash]

I'll have you know that I hate needles but the only thing I've tried that successfully calms me down/distracts me from getting vaccinated/blood drawn is reading YOUR POEMS SPECIFICALLY out loud while I get the shot. I'm planning to read out the hope one next week when I get my flu and covid boosters 👍

that’s. actually kind of amazing

[topthreedetectives]

im sorry i just. i couldnt unsee it.

[cravingcoconutredbull]

I let the brainworms get to me so I wrote a lil something about a young Caterina Dellamorte

(TW - Death)

The gurgling sound was uglier than she thought it would be.

Caterina stood still as a knife blade, arms at her sides, her silhouette haloed by the thin, sickly light bleeding in from the narrow windows behind her. Dust motes hung in the air, gilded like insects caught mid-flight. The chamber, once grand, felt small now. Smaller still as the old man spasmed against the polished marble floor, clawing weakly at his throat.

He had always worn too much gold. Rings slipped from his fingers as he flailed—clattering against the stone like teeth torn loose from a dying beast.

Caterina tilted her head slightly, watching the slow, jerking dance of death unfold.

No anger burned in her chest.

No grief.

Only something colder. Something necessary.

Her uncle had been so certain. So comfortable. Laziness softening his once-quick reflexes, contentment rotting the sharp edge the Dellamortes were supposed to wield without mercy. He had not seen the poison in his wine, had not questioned her rare, smiling toast. Had not looked at her properly in years, except to murmur, with that patronizing fondness:

“Take your time, little one. The sun will rise for you, yet.”

How many contracts had he let slip away? How many alliances had he allowed to rot on the vine, fattening himself on memories of past glories while their rivals sharpened their blades?

A stain on their name.

A liability she could no longer afford.

His eyes found her then, bloodshot and bulging. Begging, perhaps, or cursing — she could not tell and did not care. His mouth worked around a word that would never come.

She stepped forward, her boots whispering across the stone.

Knelt.

Watched him try to reach her — a pathetic, trembling hand smearing desperate fingerprints across the hem of her dark tunic. She let him. Let him see her, clear and calm, the last face he would ever look upon.

The body twitched once more. Shuddered.

Stilled.

Only the faint, wet rattle of a last breath clung to the edges of the silence.

Caterina exhaled through her nose. Smoothed the wrinkles from her sleeves with slow, meticulous fingers. Straightened.

The sun broke over the city outside, casting the chamber in a sudden spill of molten gold — stark and blinding behind her. She stood backlit, a black silhouette carved out of light and smoke and death.

Her shadow stretched long across the floor, touching the crumpled body without hesitation. Without pity.

Caterina turned her head, just enough to glance down at the ruin she had made. Her voice, when it came, was quiet. Certain. Almost tender.

“Sun’s up,” she said.

And left him there.

[krisseratops]

Anise. My darling.

You have killed me

Okay so I'm craving vanilla extract again. Anti-Venom for A1 pretty please with a cherry on top? Take all the time you need honey 💜

Oh, and if its fine by you, make him lewd >:3c nyeheheh

Yeah, so I took my time before coming around to this and-

God. Lewd? Are you sure? Okay. But really? Jesus. Fine.

:/

[pitchswift]

idk if im stupid but i just realized baz has a begging kink because he usually never asks for anything

[spicy-phantom2]

👉👈 would it be ok if I asked you to go to the gym with me since I haven't gone in months and after our sesh we hit the showers? Would you let me wash your hair? Yeah, you'll probably have to get on your knees for me to reach, sorry. I can't help that testosterone didn't make me taller.

Your hair's so soft, do you condition it? I really should do mine more. I think it might help with my curls. Feels nice? I'm glad. I think it might be about time to rinse. Here, I'll help you up so you're closer to the shower head.

What am I doing? Oh! You thought I meant just your head hair. Silly me, I should've mentioned that I meant /all/ of your hair. Yeah, just getting some soap and shampoo on my hands. It's easier this way, plus you don't waste any to a cloth. Is it ok if I touch your chest? You can keep your head under the water if you want.

[winds-of-zephyr416]

Dear tumblr: please accept this image of my cat

[kingkunigami]

I CAN’T BREATHE

@kenuis @prettyboykatsuki

Shirt Cut Meme Blue Lock Edition! ⚽️

Had so much fun working on this ✨ Comment and RT if you’d like to see part 2 👀.

[satoruxx]

CALEB’S GRADUATION SPEECH OH MY GODDDDD

[from-stars-to-shadows]

Tumblr: "check out these communities!"

Me: *rapidly pressing X on every single one* "Bold of you to assume I'm not an awkward fucking introvert who never knows what the fuck to saaaaaaaay!!!!"

[cosmicsproutcake]

sooooooo many brain cells murdered by having to explain to a full grown adult that actually no it's not safe, appropriate, or healthy for literal children to be weighing in on adult conversations, and that yes, it is actively dangerous for them to be discussing sex with random strangers on the internet.

If a minor has questions, curiosities, or concerns about something of a sexual or adult nature, they can speak to their parents, a teacher, or their fucking doctor. What they should not be doing, is engaging in a heated argument with an adult stranger online.

[pynkhues]

This Sam discussion reminds me of the time he was on that podcast where they asked about what Lestat would think of/do to Dale, and Sam starts to answer and then just goes silent for several seconds, then goes "Woah" as though something just occurred to him. It's just so amusing, he's following his brain wherever it leads----

https://www.tumblr.com/moonlight-nat/774697185777532928/sam-reid-you-are-such-a-comedian

Oh God, anon, yeah! I mean, that interview is so fun for so many reasons, but his answer there is just - - very of the moment, haha.

[campingwiththecharmings]

me: *is a writer*

also me: *can only ever seem to think of one way to say 'thank you' to the people who are kind enough to comment on my fics 🥲*