#I think it’s something specific That genuinely meant something to him
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the thing about curly is that it feels like a copout to describe him as "too nice" but i think that really is the situation with him. i feel when talking about him as a leader there's a lot of talk about the anya and jimmy stuff but i feel not a lot about the parts that show his passiveness causing problems before then.
most notably, that he let daisuke aboard a ship not made for five people, and that he told the others about the layoffs before he was meant to. both very well-intentioned, interpersonally Nice things to do, that were welcome as a friend who cares about the crew, but less so as an authority figure who's supposed to have a spine about those sorts of things.
he's not really thinking about the repercussions for revealing this information, or the impact it'll have on his crew's mental states in the months they have left for their last haul, because in his eyes - and this is something he tells both anya and jimmy - they'll Get Through It Together. curly is someone who reassures the people around him a lot in his dialogue. he cares a lot about people but does, in fact, care too much, and when it comes down to it, he can't do much except care.
an important thing to note with the anya situation (specifically in contrast to the "curly only cared about jimmy" take i see around) is that curly does reassure her, and i think did genuinely believe what he was saying when he told her everything was going to be okay and that they'd figure it out together. it's just that he also told those things to jimmy, and when you're a person as passive as curly, if you don't put your foot down people are going to weasel in and use that as an opening.
curly was a good friend, but not a good leader. there's only so much that reassurances without tangible action can do for someone in the state anya was in. he likely let daisuke board because he felt for and liked him, disregarding the fact it was literally unsafe for him to do so because of the pod situation. he told the crew they were getting laid off because it felt right for him to do so, he acted as a "friend" and not as a "leader".
and this is really cool contrast to jimmy, imo, who has no sense of compassion and is quick to take impulsive, ruthless decisions he expects praise for by sole virtue of being hard. jimmy would rather mouthwash someone's open wounds and force another to commit cannibalism than mercy-kill them - because someone dying under his care means he failed, and he can't have that, and so he will drag out their suffering for as long as humanly possible. he can't actually face the consequences of his actions.
both of them have this mantra of "i can fix it" without actually fixing much of anything - however i think curly differs in that he's a compassionate person who doesn't mind being on the same level as his crew (for better or worse), meanwhile jimmy can never shake the title of "captain" and the inflated sense of importance it gives him and that he projects onto curly. curly cares but doesn't act, jimmy acts but doesn't care.
BUT - i think a really interesting thing here too is how they act in the immediate danger of the crash. jimmy hides with his hands on his head, catatonic, while curly rushes in to try and salvage the ship even when it'll endanger him. jimmy is unable to face the gravity of what he did, while curly - even if he's not a good captain socially - is willing to put himself in danger to fix it. it gives the impression that while curly can't raise a hand against other people, he's willing to go down with his ship and put others before himself.
and putting others before himself is his entire relationship with jimmy, no? curly's dialogue with his crewmates is very reassuring, with a generous "we'll fix it together" attitude (see his patience with daisuke in the foam scene, and how he offers to do jimmy's psych eval when anya doesn't want to (compared to how jimmy would likely handle those situations, as we see when he yells at anya when asked to do tasks for her)) - BUT i would argue it's even moreso apparent with jimmy.
curly's povs, in my mind, offer the views on characters we don't see from jimmy's perspective, as jimmy cherrypicks scenes to paint anya as incompetent, daisuke as stupid and spoiled, swansea as mean and unstable - with curly, we see anya is gossipy and likes to joke around, daisuke is willing to fix problems by himself even if he struggles, et cetera. and with curly, we see, in how he talks to and about jimmy, he's very... concerned for him? and walks on eggshells around him.
^^^ after jimmy has pivoted a conversation curly was having about his life to be about his insecurities, and curly takes the bait and reassures him.
in general, he seems wary of jimmy as someone who will blow up if not reassured.
and he talks to, and about him, like he's taken on this quasi-therapist "responsible" role for him. he has this very... mental health-centered way of talking to jimmy - we'll fix it together, one day at a time, hey i believe in you, etc. which gives me the impression of, and this happens very often, a very trusting and overly-empathetic guy who's been roped into a relationship with someone whose safety and actions have been made his responsibility.
(i obviously don't mean this to woobify curly, or to diminish the game's commentary on rape culture, but rather to express that there's more to curly's behavior around jimmy than "shitty men cover for eachother".)
and i think one of the ultimate tragedies of curly's character is that, in the end, what jimmy projects on him -
-was true. this is how curly thought, before he was forced to come to terms, via experiencing jimmy's abuse of him, witnessing anya's suicide and the others' bodies, that jimmy was a monster who was never going to care about curly the way curly cared about him.
but, because jimmy views curly, now disabled, as a complete blank slate because he physically cannot speak for himself, jimmy continues to project upon him the dynamic that did exist between them - no matter the horrors he puts curly through, because if curly let him get away with it then, he'd let him get away with it now, right?
and when curly didn't put his foot down when it mattered, he now no longer can - and so jimmy's words, as long as he's as unable to speak for himself as he was back then, will be in his mouth forever.
:(
#long posts#babbles#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing spoilers#captain curly#this has been a long time coming. it is nobody's surprise who my favorite mouthwashing character is#but i was always nervous to actually talk about my opinions lol#he means a lot to me auauuuuaauuaghhhh augh.#im not proofreading this this is just (checks) 1k words of my autism opinions#rape mention#ableism mention
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Thinking about how despite being Pete's sussy guy friend, he still very much IS his friend. Wade is the type of bro to joke about dicks all the time but when the time comes, he is genuinely one of Peter's friend.
Sure, Wade tells Logan about the sparing, he tells him about patrol, and he tells him about Vinnies pizzaria even where they have their meet ups without the masks.
What Wade doesn't tell him is how tight he holds him when theye both bloody or bruised from their fights, whether against one another or a common enemy.
He doesn't tell him how they've made it a game where they can be talking on a building, and if Wade 'falls off,' Peter webs him back up and scolds him to knock it off.
He doesn't tell him that he can't believe how much Peter genuienly believes in him. He can't understand why someone so good and someone so smart would ever want to be friends with him.
He doesn't tell Logan that being around Peter makes him feel like a way better person, and how being apart from him for long emphasizes their differences, making him feel worse about himself.
He doesn't tell Logan that each time there's a little angel on his shoulder? It's Peter.
Do you know why he doesn't tell Logan? He already knows. It doesn't take telepathy to see this, and with how hyper aware Logan is, he learned all of this within a month- probably less.
Logan just comes back to the apartment to see both Wade and Peter with their suits ripped up and Peter, specifically with a bloody nose and a bruise on his abdomen. They're just.. sitting there. Holding each other so gently yet so tight that Peter is bassically in his lap, dead weighted against him, They're silent.
"Hey.."
"Hey... rough day." Is all Wade mutters, looking like he needs a nap.
"Heh.. what, kid? You fail a math test or something?" Logan tries to joke but Peter just kind of looks at him confused.
".....I'm 28..."
"And a Biochemist." Wade adds in, letting his body rest fully against the couch with a big sigh.
"Oh.." Logan says. "Well... Does the Biochemist want a tissue? He's bleeding all over you.."
Wade's hand just comes up to point at himself. "Red suit.. meant for bleeding..."
"Right.. you guys want a beer?"
"Yeeess... god, see? I told you he was the best." Wade mutters under his breath and Peter just scoffs. "You told me a billion things about him, whats your point?"
"My point- Is....." there's a long pause. "That we got our asses handed to us today...By robots. Still don't know why we couldn't just shoot'em."
Peter then groans as if he's already explained this 60 times, sitting up just long enough to take the beer. "Thanks-"
"No problem, Now scoot over."
"-but anyway, if we shot them, they would explode and put tons of lives in danger because of the automatic protocol system."
"So?"
"Wade-"
"Yeah yeah... save it for my next lecture.." he waves his hand, taking a sip of his and then reached out to clink his bottle with Logans.
"To saving the city... one god damn robot at a time..fuck this would be so much easier if Stark was alive.."
#hero-ingishard
#peter parker#spiderman#the amazing spider man#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#deadpool#spideypool#???#maybe?#deadclaws#wolverine#tony stark#fuck those robots man
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i am about to say something that i am AWARE sounds insane and i don’t necessarily think it’s a good thing but i am genuinely starting to think it’s what’s happening. i’m pretty sure that what they used to replace the fact that katherine and bianca are women and obviously fadel and bison are not… is the assassin plot
like i’m losing my mind as i type this because it just fucking hit me but that’s. that’s exactly what it is. because fadel and bison are assassins, it gives kant and style free reign to kind of act however they want in order to win them over without facing consequences for lying or doing anything crazy to them because what does it matter, they’re murderers anyways? whereas in the play, petruchio’s misogyny was allowed because at the time women were treated like property and even lucentio tends to treat bianca like a prop that’s meant to be won so that behavior gets excused.
the thing that made me realize this specifically was style’s courtship of fadel this episode, which i planned to make a separate post about but i might as well say it all here cause they’re very closely related. fadel parallels katherine very closely in that while you would think given who they are (for him an assassin, for katherine a shrew), they wouldn’t care as much about social norms or being embarrassed by other people, but that is exactly what is used to court them. in the play, petruchio uses humiliation on several occasions in order to widdle katherine down and to force her into submission. and we see style do the EXACT SAME THING! he yells at fadel in the grocery market to get him to help clean the veggies, he calls fadel’s name over the speakers to get his attention, he makes fadel let him deliver the food to the restaurant by using the excuse that it’ll be rude not to. because as much as fadel is an assassin and katherine a shrew, they both have a sense of pride that makes them do whatever their suitor wants to try and get him to stop embarrassing them in public
the fucking subbed in assassinphobia for misogyny. i’m in a state of shock
#i cant believe this. hello?? is anyone listening HELLO???#the heart killers#the taming of the shrew#fadelstyle#katherine x petruchio#my analysis#mine#tusersilence
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Hi! Genuine question, could you explain what crohns is? I saw from your blog that Kamimura apparently has it and he's my favorite so I was hoping you could explain it and how it affects him. Thank you! /nf -🎱
YES anon i absolutely can i LOVE getting disability asks
okay so crohns disease is an inflammatory disorder that affects your digestive tract. its super super crazy painful and comes with like a billion symptoms but to keep things simple: the main things are stuff like severe diarrhea, fevers, severe fatigue, and weight loss/malnutrition stemming from those. having crohns makes it really hard for your body to absorb nutrients so its normal for people with crohns to be really exhausted and underweight, which like.......
erm yeah this guy is pretty small. look at those legs. he weighs nothing.
with that in mind lets get into HOW IT AFFECTS KAMIMURA SPECIFICALLY!!!
as we know, kamimura's blood doesnt clot. that makes crohns especially dangerous for him, because there can often be a lot of bleeding involved in crohns. if crohns inflammation gets particularly rough, there can be quite a bit of blood passed, which is obviously bad for him so i hope hes TAKING SOMETHING. there can also be a lot of issues with ulcers or fissures that bleed as well, so im not surprised kamimura has anxiety problems, because he basically has to be constantly on edge about this kind of stuff.
one of the classic wonderful fun things about crohns is episodes of very sudden, very urgent need to use the washroom. like, within the minute. non-negotiable. very fun!! especially fun when you are kamimura kazutoshi and you get a decision game punishment that bans you from the dormitories and all the bathrooms are locked at night!! its no surprise that he made a comment about all the motives feeling like they're specifically meant to target him, because this one was particularly harsh for him. this is actually why i headcanoned him as a diaper user in my other post because god i fking hope he is if he had to be locked out of the bathroom for like nine hours a night. diapers/incontinence products in general are fairly common for crohns users so i wanna think he is not SO stubborn that he would refuse to wear them but........i mean youve seen how he is. also considering he has cataplexy episodes that cause him to lose all muscle tone i would HOPE he has something on in case of emergencies
i think we sort of see kamimura's first in-game flare up (crohns episode) way back in chapter one, when he's acting really sick in the morning and ends up hiding out in his room during breakfast and cant really get out of bed and just wants to be alone. crohns is genuinely so painful and uncomfortable and for someone like kamimura who is very private it would probably be pretty embarrassing to be flaring up in a group of strangers so it makes sense that he'd just wanna fuck off and hide out in his room for a while and hopefully ride it out. we also find out in the second investigation that he gets up really frequently during the night, which is another thing thats common if youve got crohns because unfortunately your bathroom needs do not care abt your sleep needs. hooray.
we are all rooting for this little diseased freak!!!!
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how i feel knowing there’s a deleted scene out there of beard throwing an american football into the curse fire
#A deleted scene we might never see im gonna be ill#no but the fact that he had to throw something that meant something to him away#and the fact that he brought a football over from Kansas like THAT was an important thing he had to have with him#bc I don’t think it’s just like. Oh a regular football bc I miss the sport#I think it’s something specific That genuinely meant something to him#Maybe a football from his first year coaching.#or from when they won whatever trophy they did I can’t remember#maybe it’s signed by a famous football player
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gmorning Clari!!! 💘 I’m not sure you’ve done it before, but I’d loooove to know what type of yanderes you’d classify your genshin faves as 😘
ANDYYYY i am so sorry i am responding a few days late to this and that’s because i accidentally wrote you a whole novel for an answer :) your ask sparked so many thoughts and i just BLAAAH spewed them all over the page (*ノωノ) ugh ahahaha ANYWAY oh gosh okay i have so much to say, let’s get into it!!! also apologies for how MASSIVE ajax’s is waaaah
characters: wriothesley, ajax [childe], kamisato ayato, thoma warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, yandere behaviour (gaslighting, obsessiveness, toxic relationships, delusional thinking, manipulation, over-protectiveness, etc) words: 2.1k
₊˚⊹ 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐲
WRIOTHESLEY is the controlling, authoritarian type that feels like a really strict father, all under the guise of ‘protecting you’ and ‘keeping you safe’. he veers into delusional territory a little here because he genuinely believes what he’s telling you (and himself) and genuinely believes himself to be doing the right thing. he isn’t possessive, he just wants to make sure you’re going out with safe people. he isn’t obsessive, he just wants to know where you are at all times in case an emergency strikes and he has to come find you. he isn’t overbearing, he just cares and is proactive—don’t you want him to care? can’t you see he’s only this ‘protective’ because he loves you?
he has thoroughly convinced himself that this behaviour has nothing to do with jealousy or a desire to keep you locked up, to keep you 100% certainly safe and his forever, and nothing to do with wanting to exert complete control over you, orchestrating your every decision—and he’s pretty good at continuously deluding himself into believing it. he’s so good, in fact, and his logic is so sound, that it has YOU wondering if you’re ‘just being crazy’, if you’re overthinking things or reading too much into them. wriothesley has had a lot taken away from him, after all, and he knows exactly how the mind of criminals tick—can you really blame him for being a bit paranoid? maybe you’re the one who’s overreacting and being unreasonable. maybe you’re even feeling a little guilty for being so ungrateful—shouldn’t you appreciate having someone who loves and cares for you this much to go to such extents? shouldn’t you want to relinquish all power to someone you love equally as much? shouldn’t you trust him to make only the best, most sound and appropriate decisions for you? you probably should.
₊˚⊹ 𝐚𝐣𝐚𝐱
AJAX is kind of like, the typical yandere, and he encompasses several ‘types’, evolving throughout the course of your relationship and shapeshifting into different variants depending on the situation itself. and while the other three men seem normal until you’re in too deep with them, refraining from showing symptoms of yandere-ness until after you’ve been with them for an extended period of time and mean a lot to them, ajax is weird from the very beginning.
almost immediately you can sense that there’s something slightly off about him, but you can’t put your finger on what it is. it’s so subtle that it doesn’t strike you as particularly dangerous, leading you to merely write it off as one of his quirks and nothing more.
he’s overbearing right from the start, of course; not necessarily enough to be concerning just yet, but enough for it to be abnormal—unusual—and noticeable (which reminds me of your lil ajax piece!!!). from the instant he sees you, he is irreversibly obsessed with you. you permeate his every waking thought, and eventually begin to leak into his dreams, too, and suddenly he can barely breathe without knowing where you are and what you’re doing, his concentration consumed by you.
he begins stalking you—‘overseeing’, he had called it—making detailed notes of your favourite locations and your most frequented friends. he’s constantly got an eye on you one way or another, even if he has to employ other people to do it for him, discreetly reporting their findings every few hours. he tells them you’re in danger—which, you are, technically—and that you must be observed at all times from afar, silently and stealthily.
ajax is patient and he can play the waiting game, carefully devising and then revising his strategy based on your moves. he loves playing predator and prey, gets a thrill from how the hunt unfolds—much like a battle, it’s a story, a rich tapestry you and he are constantly and concurrently creating, together. and that he thinks is so beautiful.
in textbook yandere fashion, once he’s gathered a sufficient amount of intel, he begins ‘showing up’ randomly at your usual spots, ‘bumping into you’ fortuitously. charming and sweet, the only thing that’s initially unsettling is just how well the two of you get along. ajax is sure not to mimic you too much—he doesn’t want to be a mirror, after all, and being too similar is far from a good thing (especially when it matches so well it simply can’t be coincidental).
well—that, and the sharp glint in his eye that flares with something dangerous every time you giggle or gush, every time you fall further for him. and once he has you enchanted, ensnared, you’re trapped for life, tangled up in him so tightly that he might as well have fused to your flesh.
ajax likes to tell you it isn’t about power and control, but he knows that it is. he’s smart, and he’s self aware, and he doesn’t really care if this is ‘wrong’—he sees it as necessary and he genuinely believes he knows better than you do. he has to take care of you, or else who will? you’re clearly not capable of satisfactorily doing it on your own, so he must (god, how would you manage without him?). even if you oppose him or fight back against him, he’s purely convinced you’re bull-headed and stubborn, snorting at your wanting to be independent when he truly knows you’re too stupid take care of yourself ‘properly’ all on your own.
violence is a mainstay of your relationship, but not towards you; never towards you—merely towards everyone around you. his jealousy knows no bounds, but you will rarely see it outright. instead, ajax prefers to hone his emotions, to fashion them into a weapon or use them as fuel to thoroughly tear apart anyone who looks your way in a manner he doesn’t like. it’s his job as your lover and keeper, isn’t it?
₊˚⊹ 𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐨
AYATO knows what he is, and he doesn’t care. why should he, when he’s sure what he’s doing is ultimately correct and he’s used to having everything that he wants, and everything going his way, even if he has to force/manipulate it to? he’s so skilled at that in particular—manipulating situations and events to procure favourable outcomes for himself. in ayato’s mind, you should be grateful that he affords you so many freedoms—he could lock you away in the basement or a padded room, chain you to a bed with no entertainment or stimulation save for the books he has so conscientiously selected for you, and no other human contact aside from himself. but he trusts you, and he doesn’t want to go to those measures (though rest assured, he has promised you he will not hesitate to reach such heights if he deems it absolutely necessary, no matter how much he doesn’t want to; you staying his comes before his personal preferences and pleasures). as such, he allows you to roam the estate grounds under the watchful eye of his closest confidants and most capable guards (usually thoma, unless he is otherwise occupied and busy); he allows you access to letter writing materials (though they must go through two rounds of supervision and revisions before they are approved; once by thoma, and once by ayato himself); he allows you to go out in public as long as you are with him, etc.
despite these apparent freedoms he affords you, he still picks your outfits out for you each day, and he devises a comprehensive meal plan for you each week, and creates schedules and rules he expects you to follow, thoroughly and meticulously to the letter. it is these subtle forms of ownership that he enjoys the most. he doesn’t feel the need to shout from the mountaintops, loudly and aggressively, that you are his, because the fact is so obvious, so evident, the second anyone merely glances at you. you walk like him, you talk like him, you sit, stand, and bow like him, just like he trained you to.
ayato is also the type of yandere to punish you. he is molding your pretty little mind into exactly what he wants it to be, and that means that undesirable behaviours must be immediately and severely corrected through appropriate punishments—you must learn, or be taught what is right and what is wrong in ayato terms + definitions, so you will refrain from repeating such behaviour in the future. he is truly crafting you into the most perfect, precious, obedient little doll—and having a blast while doing so. it’s his little pet passion project, in a way; something he looks forward to working on when he has a moment of spare time.
ayato was sly and clever with the way he initially enticed you, entrapped you, but underneath his cool, precisely chiseled exterior, ayato is selfish, manipulative, and extremely controlling. all decisions are ultimately made by and go through him. he will skillfully and carefully cut you off from all lifelines and communication, rendering you wholly dependent on him, and then will meticulously chip away at your mind until he sculpts it into exactly what he desires—someone who is as obsessed with him as he is with them. he slowly, stealthily, and steadily induces a severe, irreversible case of stockholm syndrome. the damage he does to your mind is permanent—and that’s exactly his goal. you now live for him. your days are marked by his appearances, his comings and goings, and the only thing you have to look forward to is seeing + spending time with him. you live to please him, live to be with him, and become absorbed by him, so you are merely an extension of him and no longer an individual yourself. everything revolves around ayato—he is your entire universe.
₊˚⊹ 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚
THOMA is the most dangerous type of yandere, because thoma is genuine. thoma’s feelings are 100% authentic—and he earnestly intends to bring you no harm whatsoever—they’re just way too intense. he loves you so much that it veers into insanity, and the passion he feels towards you (and towards keeping you safe + claiming you as his) is so fierce that it physically hurts him to experience, chest blistering with scorching adoration and razored affection, something so dense and so all-consuming that thoma wants to claw through his own flesh and pry his ribcage apart spoke by spoke just so he can experience a shred of relief.
thoma is, for the most part, an honest guy—starkly, brashly honest, so honest it shatters his words and gnaws at his voice, leaving it rough and raw, splintered to shards; but you can always trust he says exactly what he means. he severely lacks self awareness, not even realizing that his behaviour is inappropriate and extreme (he just cares about you SO much! it blinds his rationale and erodes his logic, incapacitating his ability to understand that he’s so suffocating it borders on terrifying).
but what makes thoma so incredibly perilous is his sincerity. he truly just wants to keep you safe, eyes brimming with tears and voice hitching on barely contained emotion as he thoroughly explains to you his logic for stashing tracking devices in your bags or his reasoning for shattering the kneecaps of the man who made you uncomfortable at work, sentiment thick in his throat, words straining with the weight of his honesty, with the desperation for you to understand, to see it his way. he swears to the high heavens that he’d never hurt a single hair on your pretty, precious little head, and promises that he doesn’t want to scare you, but firmly asserts that he will do whatever it takes to keep you safe.
and he means it. thoma is, in the most essential sense, your guard dog. he’s so sweet towards you, even submissive at times, always subservient to your every wish and whim, your every demand and desire, but he’ll fucking rip anyone within a meter of you to pieces with his teeth and bare hands alone if he feels as though you are being threatened in any way—and his standards and definition of ‘threatened’ are extreme and absurd, of course, causing him to react in a way that is severely disproportionate to the situation.
it borders on too much all the time—he is too obsessive, too protective, too clingy, but he’s also so sweet, so gentle, so incredibly bonafide that you can’t help but not be upset with him. he only does what he does because you’re his entire world, right? what’s so harmful about that?
#brilliant question andy thank u so much for asking omfg and apologies again for rambling like a nutso#i also just had to link your lil ajax piece because i genuinely do think it captures and portrays him SO well and so faithfully aaaah#wriothesley x you#ajax x you#childe x you#tartaglia x you#kamisato ayato x you#thoma x you#wriothesley x reader#ajax x reader#childe x reader#tartaglia x reader#kamisato ayato x reader#thoma x reader#tw:yandere#i didn’t look up any specific types so i just kinda like ??? explained how i thought they'd be LMAO but apologies if there's like a list u#meant or something!!!#anyway ily i hope you're having a fantastic start to the week <3#always sending health n happiness your way!#sorry for the character tags smack in the middle LMAO#inky.andy#inky.wriothesley#inky.ajax#inky.ayato#inky.thoma#i would've done haitham but tbh i rly don't see him as a yandere#i think he'd just like;;; give up LMAOOOOOO#or be super passive aggressive and mean#clari gets mail
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I think a big misunderstanding is the power people give Curly to actually change things about the way the pony express operates or could’ve done things on the Tulpar.
We are talking about a company that docks pay for bad synergy despite mandated psych evals that should tell which staff members would work well together, only allots for 5 hours of sleep despite having literally no other tasks to truly do and locks all resources behind the access of one person. The last one is likely to manage resources and make it easier to justify collective punishment and blaming one person for it; someone needs something in “excess” or the captain gives in? It’s all on them your pay is docked. Instant resentment.
It’s insidious how the company works, it’s by design to distract you from coming after them, to force tensions to line their own pockets. With all the restrictions and forced interactions, altercations are bound to happen. 5 hours of sleep a day, limited sources of entertainment, no real tasks… the monotony alone would cause bad cabin fever, mix that with just only one absolute mediator and you get the exact environment that allows shit like in the game to happen.
The idea he could just complain and try to throw his weight around to get them to dig into their pocket for the crews comfort is laughable and misses the predatory and dehumanizing aspect of capitalism the Pony Express represents. Curly was and is still just another asset to them. Being a top show pony doesn’t mean he’s anywhere close to the actual top. He is the top of the working ladder, not whoever’s in corporate, he wouldn’t even be on the bottom step unlike what Jimmy perceives. The resounding recommendations he would get are almost mocking as they throw him out like nothing just like the rest. Being a shitty fucking company, how much do you bet they’d mean anything anyways, especially since he wanted to leave the field all together.
He made a fuss and they didn’t listen, he says he should’ve done more but you can tell he knows it wouldn’t have changed anything. Jobs like this are willing to make a sacrifice if it means even a penny more. Curly makes a bigger fuss they likely would’ve just found an “unrelated” reason to fire him, hired a more pliable guy or, terrifyingly, promoted Jimmy. The company was failing, going to shut down whether anything happened on the ship or not. But knowing that they were shutting down and that everyone, including him, would be out of a job with this being their last paycheck, he had to factor in not destroying the last bit of their financial stabilities combined with every other issue on the vessel and his own. He gets another cryopod or locks and then he has to break to them that they are not only fired but there will be substantial cuts to their paychecks due to the “upgrades” (things that already should’ve been in place on their part) on top of anything else that could be docked along the way.
You can blame him for saying it so early into the trip but then again, if he mentioned it later who’s to say it wouldn’t have been worse? On the capitalism side alone how would people in a galaxy away from home, out of a job and already stir crazy react? Don’t get me started on how Jimmy would have reacted if he realized he only had two days left to fix what would be a very hard to miss “problem” in his head…
I can’t even consider explaining this as devils advocate because it’s just facts of the world we and they live in and factors that heavily affected the situation. People are just so quick to make claims on the ease of the choices when P.E literally makes it hard to choose to do anything but suck it up.
#this is also like a sort of point that while I wanted Curly to do more for Anya I realized he would have to jeaporsiE the crews safety in#some way like if they needed the cryopods one person would be left without one and like it would be curly he’d offer but don’t think any of#them would be happy or feel okay with letting him die over a rapist? he kills Jimmy and now he has to stand trial and be arrested for murder#because it’s not self defense or manslaughter like they could obviously lie but he wouldn’t let them do that in case of a sort of black box#or guilt on their mind specifically with Daisuke who would likely be kept out of the loop not to mention it’s a dead body with a limited#likely recycled air supply so again he’s getting tried for murder and they are down a cryopod#not to mentions again the fact that you need a copilot like I know like aviation law and shit is crazy and like not common knowledge#but you bed a second set of eyes or someone to trade off with so you don’t loose ur concentration or doze and crash#like they don’t just sit their and do nothing like Jimmy probably did some of the time cause Curly likely didn’t want to make him#cause like pissed off and spiteful Jimmy manning the controls even if just helping is not something he wants to deal with and risk their#lives but i digress I genuinely think the biggest flaw of Curly’s in the situation is being a man who could not handle or understand the#emotional gravity of what Anya experienced especially at the hands of someone who he was also#emotonal/mentally mistreated by and wanted to so badly to believe was his friend and improving#like he did not offer her enough or the proper emotional/physical security he could’ve as a captain nor friend but in that it goes right#back to the systems at play that make it so he isn’t meant or supposed to understand so it can’t be perpetuated and blah blah blah how many#times do I have to explain systematic oppression to certain groups in this fandom and it isn’t cut n dry of good guys bad guys and victims#as outliers of the tow categories l#mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#the pony express#The Tulpar
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super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want
#my art#not sure if i wanna tag these... hrm#i wonder if alt text shows up in search results.... shudders#well anyway. i wanna ramble about these!!#for willy mafton: i've been working on designing more of the human cast. mainly all the big name important ones#it's been a slow process + a little challenging but i like getting the chance to practice drawing faces! :]#in regards to His design specifically.. it's very much based off of his movie apperance#but with a reference to that Classic sprite thrown in#bc i thought making him a little cartoony and inhuman would fit him :] but idk im not an expert on his character or anything#about the rabbit lady: i forgot how i had that idea initially but it ended up looking so fucking cool tbh#im always a fan of making her design less of a feminine eye candy type of design and more of a Spooky Murderer type >:3c#it also gave me the idea to try making some similar designs for the glams...#but if i do that im not gonna be giving them that vintage rubber mask look... since they're meant to be super flashy and high tech looking#so i was thinking they could have faces with more of a silicone texture.. and that have a style based more off of their in game art work :]#so they'd be like giant dolls with weird moving faces rather than having a vintage animatronic look#also that van in the bottom middle is 100% a homage to a specific user i wont be mentioning but iykyk HFJZJFJF#ANYWAY the 🌞🌜 stuff: dont be weird about it please HFJZJG#im aware that these tags are very easy to ignore but like. genuinely pls dont be weird about them#dont romanticize it. its not meant to be ''y/ndere'' or anything like that#its actually a bit personal to me so like... interpret it as you like but be aware its not meant to be a happy or positive thing#anyway i think thats all i have to say... i've been trying to branch out a tiny bit regarding the things i draw#it's always nice to challenge yourself even if its tough... especially if its tough!!#i mainly draw just for my own sake but i hope ppl see something they like here#these tags got so fucking long oops... i'll stop now JFKZJFKSJGKSJG
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so i'm at my mom's and i decide to round up all the naruto volumes we have in the house (currently i've found 37, 45, 50, 51, 53, 54, 56, 58, and 60) bc that's where my brain is these days and i flipped through 'em a bit and like.
ok so in volume 53 (the birth of naruto) there's a flashback to the kyuubi attack and a bunch of people dying. we see naruto's parents (mostly kushina) monologue to him pre-kicking it, we see iruka's parents giving their lives for him, and then there's kurenai's dad.
"you're a girl so make sure you live long enough to give me grandkids" bro i hope the kyuubi got you and i hope it hurt
#naruto#we never see him again like. ever#i think he showed up in one of the databooks or something and that's why we know his name but. dude wtf#iruka's parents: it's a parent's duty to sacrifice their lives for their child#naruto's parents: we love you so much#kurenai's dad: make sure u live long enough to get knocked up#like i know it's meant to be referring to the fact that she was pregnant in canon at that point but like#the scene is set up in a way that implies that he's gonna die and that's the only thing we see him say to his daughter#what the hell man#also it's really sad that sasuke goes from genuinely caring about his teammates in vol 45 to what happens in vol 51#like both times with karin specifically#when amaterasu hits her juugo just goes ''well she's fucked the rest of us should go right now bye karin''#meanwhile sasuke cares so hard he figures out how to stop the fire that's whole thing is not being stoppable#then when danzou grabs her he's just. nah girl ur too slow fuck u#i mean i know a lot's been going on but yeesh man#like he saves her at least once (maybe twice? not super clear) in vol 50#so. idk maybe seeing danzou's arm pushed him over the edge#naruto shippuden
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sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you
#eeaao's 'how did you let me go so easily' moment. like i dont let myself even THINK about this too often#bc i immediately beat myself back with the 'if it's hard for you then imagine how hard it is for mum. her PARENTS cut her off'#but like. idk. my nan i couldn't give less of a shit about which is something i always find so interesting#bc even as a child with NO basis for it or any understanding of her behaviour both past and present i still wasn't Comfortable around her#like children are smart actually. i just Knew her vibes were off and i Knew my mum was weird when she was around#like i truly dont think i ever loved my nan even when she was a very frequent part of my life#but my grandad? i ADORED him. id see him multiple times a week and he's the kindest man ive ever met#and hannah what i told you about my mum saying certain people have magnetic auras THAT WAS ABOUT HIM#like i cant actually put into words what it was about him but people just wanted to know him and spend time with him#but he was weak and let my nan walk all over him and when push came to shove he chose her and now ive not spoken to him in 3 years#& i KNOW he loved me. he thought the world of me like it's a bitter unspoken thing between me & my sister that we KNOW i was his favourite#he used to buy me egg butties at agricultural shows when my mum said no and specifically ask for two eggs#he used to sit and eat his soup with me when he came over to do work at the house#he used to play with me. he used to smile all the time. i can so clearly hear the way he'd go ''iya [my name]' with his proper rural accent#or how he'd tell anyone who would listen 'she's tough as old boots that one'#and i could make him laugh like NO ONE else could and he'd light up and go 'give over' and he genuinely enjoyed my company#i KNOW HE DID. and i havent spoken to him in 3 years. he'll be dead soon#and i cant talk to my mum about it bc it's her DAD it is so much worse for her and i cant talk to my sister about it#bc she wasn't close with him like i was and she just shuts the conversation down and those are the only two people#who know my grandad and know what he meant to me so im just here like. he literally stopped speaking to me overnight#i stopped hearing from him i stopped meeting up with him im so so angry with him the love is still there i dont know where to put it now#why couldnt he stay. why did he pick her when she's a loveless void of inhumanity. why werent we enough#hella goes home#my grandparents on my dad's side are also not in the picture funnily enough but idgaf about them. she got that grandparentless swag
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it’s completely bananas to me that halsin's sex scene features a moment where he somehow loses control of his druidic powers and wildshapes into a bear, because he’s apparently that horny. like...gale had to be infected with a mindflayer tadpole for him to make mistakes in his spellcasting, even though he already carried a small nuclear bomb of evil, weave-consuming magic in his chest. what THE fuck is halsin’s excuse? like, as funny as it is for an archdruid to be so overcome with lust upon seeing a tdick that he loses his grip on his abilities, it makes absolutely no sense! what do you mean that this guy has enough power to open a portal to the shadowfell, and rescue a little fey boy from it, but he can't control his wildshaping because "bear horny?" HUH?
#bg3#thoughts about media#the more I think about halsin and SH. the more I grow resentful of their writer in specific.#genuinely. what the hell was this guy thinking.#like how is this scene meant to be sexy?#as a monsterfucker- I GET the appeal of a man fighting his “inner beast” to be with his partner.#but it doesn't come across that way in the halsin scene. it feels...silly? nonsensical?#he's an extremely powerful druid....losing control of his wildshape because he's aroused makes him look...immature.#is the appeal of halsin not that he is an experienced but lonely older man?#when confessing to your player character- he expresses his appreciation for the care with which the PC has treated him.#which I LOVED because it developed upon that initial dialogue of his where he reveals how alone he really is!#his family is all gone...so he only had the grove.#but the people at the grove held him in such high regard...it was like he wasn't a person anymore. just a “leader.”#it makes perfect sense to me that he would fall for someone who treats his feelings as important...who treats him like a person!#but the sex scene devolves so rapidly into...god...something out of a badly written fanfic?#honestly- forget the wildshaping. your PC should have had the opportunity to top halsin.#it would have made MUCH more sense given why he's even attracted to your PC in the first place.
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diversity loss! those ppl correctly gendering u assumed you're straight..
#well 'correctly gendering' they genuinely just saw me as Some Guy i think so automatically referred to me as he#anyway there are a group of usually four to five ppl at the train station nearest to me who stop u and talk to you about sj stuff and/or as#you to donate. so stuff like immigrant rights lgbtq+ rights the environment et cetera & they were eyeing me when i was approaching (to#potentially be stopped & talked to etc. i get stopped like. 80% of the time around there) but then turned back towards each other and said#something along the lines of 'oh this is so scary this is so hard he's so scary' and then didn't stop me to talk and literally as i walked#away (i was JUST past them some ppl rlly do not wait for someone to be out of earsight to tall abt them) one of them said 'his face looked#good (as in approachable & a potential Person To Converse With) but the rest of him....straight man. look at that blouse.'#the previous sentence loosely quoted but it was smth like that...........WTF DO U MEAN STRAIGHT MAN??? TAKE THAT BACK PLEASE I BEG 😭🙏#<<<<<< also they meant cis straight man specifically i'm pretty sure...which is the absolute worst part of that whole assumption.#ALSO what's wrong with my blouse.........#thanks 4 the gender euphoria though. much obliged 👍#double also i don't think i'm using this meme setup thingie in the way it is supposed to be used but it makes sense either way. to me.#TRIPLE ALSO we're just assuming that if someone is a straight man they immediately don't gaf about social justice stuff?? okay.....#i mean i get it but also big generalization. but also i get it. but also big generalization. anyway. in other news i found out my grandma#used to write my grandpa actual poems. like ACTUAL actual poems of the professional sort that she made up and wrote down herself to give#to him <3333#& more news though this one is not very surprising and in fact very predictable I AM SO SLEEPY TIRED. ZONK TOWN I'M COMING DON'T U WORRY❗❗#just need to read the newspaper (the mutuals' posts of 2day) and then i am going to bed IMMEDIATELY u best believe.
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Hlev but he realizes the way to break out of the script is by merely taking it as a guideline rather than the absolute truth
#perceptive little crow#fucking sex in minecraft is playing as im writing this so im not exactly thinking rn#the thing here is that I've struggling for ages to come up for a reason as to why hlev would be able to live a normal and happy life#while peka just goes to hell#and i thibk i found a good reason? question msrk?#like i feel peka would be worrying wayyyy to much over GHOST BUSTER FUCK#anyways peka would worry too much about fucking everything while not really addressing said worry#he'd just try and take as much control as possible over as much situations as possible. right?#which ultimately would bring his downfall as he causes way too much damage on his way to live#while hlev is like#*well yeah i gotta do what i was meant to do. but those are very specific situations right? do they have to dictate how i feel about them?“#“do they have to dictate how i feel on this world? on everything on it?”#i feel that'd be shown as him getting more and more emotion as the game goes#from like. very absent and kinda uncaring(?) to genuinely passionate and open#like. yea there's that bit with being insane about myths. but what if he makes it a genuine passion born out of human curiosity?#what if instead of having merely passing convos with tortino and build a casual friendship-#-he instead tries to build a strong and healthy friendship with her? one born out of genuine interest. respect and love for her?#if instead of merely taking one fight with the super myths and call it a day he instead tries to understand what drove them to that point?#hell maybe even be a bit of moral support for them?#what i mean is that he slowly but surely owns up the script and makes it for *himself*. he picks the bases and uses them to grow as a person#and to finally allow himself to live and indulge in a world that will allow him to live#which is a realization peka doesn't get. instead trying to get as far from the script as possible#the thing here is that he might not realize that very astray may lead him to fall right onto it. y'know?#and there's definitely something to be said about being doomed by the narrative for peka. considering that. unlike hlev-#his intended character is not particularly nice and good?#need to think this further. but i think this is a good start
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deadpool!
….as your boyfriend.
description: deadpool as your boyfriend!
pairing: deadpool x you!
contains: 18+, mentions of sex!
|an: just saw deadpool & wolverine.. couldn’t help myself.
- awful with emotions but always finds a way to make up for things whether through humor or sex.
- speaking of humor you’re never not laughing with him, or bickering, or fucking
- you’re the only person he can actually feel vulnerable and comfortable with, he cherishes that and he loves you so much for that.
- you’re his person, he would genuinely kill for you if it meant he would lose someone so important in his life.
- if someone makes you sad, mad or uncomfortable ooo…not his babygirl.
- he usually doesn’t keep people or friends in his loop often, they could find him annoying or over the top but not you.
- you love absolutely everything about him, his outlandish humor, his extroverted personality, his big ol’ mouth. you think it’s so hot.
- so hot when he’s mean to you so hot when he’s soft with you
- you literally bicker like two teenage girls all the time and he always somehow clocks your tea it’s ridiculous but you also find it impressive that he always has something to say that you cannot come back from😭
- god you need to pray that no man ever even has the thought of coming on to you… he’ll experience some banter with your boyfriend before it’s lights out.
- not only are you his but he’s yours! he’s super loyal and if he can’t get someone to back off , you sure will!
- you’re always having fun with him date nights are some of the best times of your life, he always finds a way to entertain you no matter what you’re doing.
- always gotta hand somewhere, your ass, a singular cheek, a titty, somewhere. how could you expect him not to! you’re all his.
- you literally have him wrapped around your finger, he’d do absolutely anything for you.
- also always bullying you he is so straightforward😭
“hon that has got to be the ugliest shirt i’ve ever seen on you”
“wade-“
“i know you got better in that closet that i snoop through and try on all your clothes when you aren’t home now go!”
- he’s so tall so if you’re short oh wow…you’re never catching a break
“soooo how’s the weather down there.” wade said, placing his elbow on the crown of your head.
“prick…”
…
“yeah that’s enough of that dirty mouth!” your boyfriend had announced before bending down and wrapping an arm around your behind, throwing you over his shoulder and positioning his palm on your ass.
“god, wade put me down!” you’d laughed playfully hitting his back.
“don’t make me have to spank you!” he said, lighting pinching your ass.
- do not get an animal bc it will quickly become his center of attention and he will defend it over you.
“wade, we’re having my mom over please put it in the room”
“ugh…she’s so mean isn’t she sugar?” he’d said stroking your pet, followed by a “yes she is yes she is!” as the animal licked his face.
sigh.
- good lord we got a cuddle monster on our hands!
- absolutely adores any type of affection and practically begs you for it 24/7. he loves being little spoon specifically. also loves it when u scratch or message his back, bc that also gets him going..
- speaking of, you got this guy rock solid 24/7
“hungry for seconds?” he joked, hugging you from behind and pressing his hardened cock against your ass.
“we literally jus-“ you’d started just to be interrupted mid sentence.
“so! cmon baby throw a dog a bone.” he muttered, hand already gripping your inner thigh.
you’d sighed, god you can’t resist him.
- it doesn’t matter what you’re doing he finds anything you do hot i stg
- a M-U-N-C-H! for life, literally came in his pants from eating you out once! he loves making you feel good.
- a goofball during sex he cannot do shit seriously😭 he be talking you and your pussy thru it!
- again, if you’re petite god help you bc he is large.
- babe, you better match his freak because yall doing anything.
- trying a new thing every night multiple times bc that sex is never vanilla and that dick is never tired! at some point he’s just making positions up😭
#deadpool x reader#deadpool#wade wilson#deadpool and wolverine#ryan reynolds#deadpool x you#marvel#mcu#wade wilson x reader#wade wilson x you#deadpool headcanons
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terrible horrible bad habit of looking at any of my f/os and going “pretty boy!!” over and over again almost instinctively
#agh last night i was getting worked up about ryou’s BELT of all things. i’m a mess#that one illustration of him and yamiba with the monster world themed background… awoog#NOT IN A SUGGESTIVE WAY no it had something to do with like. god he wears belts. why does this stand out to me#it’s the way it’s not tucked in completely on yamiba AGSJDHSK OKAY I NEED TO DROP THIS#waaaaah and marik’s eyes as usual… driving me insane….#he’s so expressive i love all the expressions he makes <3 even if most of them are him getting worked up about something agdjdhs#and his + yamima’s nose scrunch!!! aaaaa!!! still gets me weak#says this about. very antagonistic and reactive people who have or tried to kill people before AGDJFHDKS#god but i love them. so much. they’ve done bad things and they’ve made big mistakes and somenof them didn’t get redeemed in canon but#my own bias is making me see things in ways they probably weren’t meant to be seen so that’s okay </3#i don’t know i’ve been thinking about marik in the latter half of battle city again and just. agh#he never fails to get me on the verge of tears lol everything about him just… makes me want to make things better for him#and i’ve been thinking specifically about that part in yamima and mai’s duel where he stops to talk to the pharaoh about the sealofmemories#and maybe it was just a silly thing to rub in the fact that marik has trauma or whatever. maybe it was to get on the pharaoh’s nerves#but i can’t help but think maybe yamima does genuinely hold those feelings and that resentment like marik does#maybe he doesn’t distance himself from it as much as he seems to act like it. i don’t know#anyway. what was i ssaying#oh right pretty boys!! boys. boyfriends. loves of my life. a#rghrrgrh chewing on them like a chew toy i ahte them and love them so much who gave any of them the right to be so pretty#quartzshipping
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My unpopular (why) opinion is that Toshiro's and Falin's relationship (platonic obviously) is quite beautiful and if fans weren't so odd about shipping they'd see how very sweet it is that Toshiro started liking Falin when he realised she's an odd but gentle person, when he felt a sense of kinship that he likely never felt before.
From what we see they got along, Falin has a positive opinion of him, on the few instances when we actually see them talk (beyond just memories of them talking but no actual dialogue being shown to us) it's obvious she feels comfortable enough to be completely honest and transparent with him, while still minding his feelings. She likes the guy well enough, she doesn't want to hurt him.
The marriage proposal is actually so interesting... The way they communicate with each other. Falin let's Toshiro down gently, and reveals something so intimate about herself, how she's behaved until now, what she wants to do in the future, that she'd like to visit him again!
And Toshiro is so gentle. He obviously cares about her so much (and water is wet BUT im talking specifically about how it's portrayed in this scene). If what Maizuru says is true, that was the second time he made a "selfish" request ("marry me and come with me") but he simply asks this from her and offers reassurances, "I'll make sure you're comfortable", but he's not you know the Hardass some people pretend he is.
And what I love the most... When she rejects him not only does he accept it gracefully, he's inspired by her declaration that she wants to be more independent. Why did Falin say that? To spare his feelings further? Or because she knew that this realisation, which meant so much to her, would resonate with Toshiro too?
Gonna get personal but. I'm aroace, hello. I've had a few friendships go to shit because someone confessed to me and I rejected them. And exactly one where the person accepted it gracefully and our friendship, after surviving an awkward moment, blossomed.
Like. Relationships CHANGE, and they can develop and deepen and strengthen in many ways, regardless of the dynamic they take on. When aspecs say "friendship can be as important as romance" one of the things we mean is, allow romantic love to go back to platonic love and be stronger regardless OR EVEN because of it.
Like. How beautiful, that these two recognised a bit of themselves in each other, and knew how to approach the other. How beautiful that Ryoko tells us "their friendship survived a rejected proposal, when the commonly used trope would've made their friendship unviable from then on".
How beautiful that narratively Toshiro's sacrifice is never played for laughs or made fun of or devalued because """he didn't get the girl""', but instead the manga says "it didn't pan out but it wasn't a pointless sacrifice because Toshiro genuinely cared for Falin as a person, and always did what he thought was best even when it went against his normal behaviour." How beautiful that Falin wants to meet his friend Toshiro again, that she thinks to tell him "I'm going to start being an active participant in my own life" and Toshiro thinks "I think I need to start doing that too".
How beautifullll that a rejection ended with a promise to meet again, it's so beautiful am I insane? Can someone hear me hello?
The love was there and it mattered, but it's even better. The love shifts and survives because the care is genuine, because when you truly care about a person you'll want them in your life in whatever dynamic suits everyone involved the best. Because love, whether romantic or platonic or a mix of something else entirely, is selfless.
#rambles#toshiro nakamoto#Nakamoto Toshiro#TL;DR I LOVE THE REJECTION AND THE FACT THAT IT'S USED TO IMPLY WHERE BOTH CHARACTERS NEED TO GO IN ORDER TO GROW#I LOVE THAT FRIENDSHIP PREVAILS.... MLP WAS RIGHT YALL#falin touden#nervous about tagging Falin BUT i trust that the real fans will see what i mean#dungeon meshi#dunmesh meta#Toshiro Nakamoto you are SO demi. get behind me and the pack of lesbians you call your friends go smell a flower go look at a bug.#shuro#shurofali#shulin#<- platonic
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