#I think it would be hidden i’m sure but it would be hilarious

[anonymous-archive]

lmao @ this reblog “calling me out” and then blocking me despite apparently beforehand nearly deciding not to quietly block & report me instead of that giant wall of useless text like… i honestly didn’t know how to react/respond initially other than “holy shit dude that’s crazy” and then laugh incredulously but here we go since i’m petty:

first, this is a burner blog i made a week ago maximum and it only has 5 posts (excluding this one) so i’m not sure what you think you’re accomplishing here since i could & would just make another one and repost it all again? i’m under the impression that what would actually happen is the original posts themselves as well as any reblogs get taken down rather than the overall blogs themselves, but if i’m wrong then see above lol.

second, my bad for trying to genuinely, helpfully inform you that unfortunately many others out there don’t have the capacity to realize that you are not an anti and/or won’t read the entire post before assuming. this in turn might hurt your own community since stolitz stans may want to protect themselves from even potentially reading something they consider hurtful and therefore not wasting time by risking it. in fact you just proved my point by reacting and attempting to keep yourself safe from, what, leaks that were hidden behind an active choice to click? i as an individual don’t care that you like that ship so i wasn’t here to harass you or whatever. i didn’t think anything of you for it, that’s not why i spoke up.

third, clearly some people don’t understand “don’t like, don’t engage/read/watch/etc.” especially if you already know the content will upset you! also this large & loud fandom has never learned to keep controversial things on the down-low and ignore it in order to avoid gaining too much attention and inadvertently advertising it to people who otherwise wouldn’t know, but what else can i expect when y’all worship your annoying lord and savior ayylmao? so congrats on opening up the chance for someone to stumble upon your unnecessarily massive post and wanting to take a peek! you can’t control your followers/lurkers so that would be hilarious!

by the way, if you somehow do end up finding what my other hellaverse-critical blog is then… okay that’s fine. it’s not very big and it’d be disappointing if attacked but not a big deal. like i said, it’s easy to move & remake. hate to tell the truth but you do not have the power you wish you had here.

[hello-eeveev]

we’re 2 for 2 on on-screen Thelysses being awkward can we get awkward Deirta Thelyss can we can we

[safination]

The Wrong Competitor

|Masterlist| Ao3| NOW WITH A PART 2: |The Actual Competitor| Pairings: Alastor x wife!Reader. Platonic! Vox & Reader Tags: fem!Reader, AFAB, Established Relationship, , Alastor is in hell for a reason, Reader is in hell for a reason, being a simp for your partner, husband! Alastor. demon! Alastor, drinking,flirting

Vox approaches with a steady and confident smile. There are two drinks secured around one hand. The other reaches out for a handshake. Alastor takes a step forward, using his body as a barrier. “Just a friendly one,” Vox says, a charming smile on his screen. “It would be a shame to ruin the Princess’ evening. The music is lively and the food and drinks are delicious.” Alastor’s eyes twitch from underneath the mask as he sees you reaching out. Well, that won’t do. He takes the handshake intended for you, shaking Vox’s hand with a firmer grip than needed. You’re determined to enjoy yourself and Alastor prides himself on being a husband. So, he won’t cause a scene—not today at least. The handshakes last longer than handshakes should last. Vox slides his eyes towards you, a smug smile displayed on the screen of his lips. You tighten your hold around Alastor’s arm, leaning to his bicep to hide your scowl. TLDR: The Hazbin Hotel decides to hold a masquerade party. Despite his better judgment, Alastor invites his wife even if he’s aware of Vox’s attendance, who’s keen on competing with Alastor for his wife’s attention….If only Alastor knew how much you and Vox would gag at the idea of him flirting with you. It’s not his wife’s attention that Vox competes for. It’s not even Alastor who he’s competing with. Actually… Alastor isn’t part of the competition.

Have a little brainrot of mine. Lol just pure on crack of the silliest shit. Tell me what you guys think because I found this so fucking hilarious that I had to write it down. Anyway, have my heavily unedited brain rot. I tried a different writing voice today instead of my usual third person-second person pronoun pov, and tried like an all around pov. Update: *6/19/2024 We lost electricity at home so instead of studying, I decided to polish my un-polished crack. Everything's the same, it's just written better and I didn't add much.

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

Alastor slithers out of the shadows below, stepping out from the darkness that pools underneath you. There are hundreds  of shadows to pop out of, still it’s your shadow that Alastor chooses to spring out from. There’s a smile painting his lips as he materializes. A deer mask covers half his face.

“Goodness,” you say, mirroring his smile. “What am I supposed to do when strange yet handsome Sinners pop out of my shadow without a warning.”

Alastor steps further into the light. “Handsome?”

And oh…oh.

(Oh, indeed. Alastor is wearing a tail-coat, a vest hidden underneath. Oh god he’s wearing a vest. One side of his hair slick back, allowing stray strands to flutter around the deer mask. When you run your hand across his biceps…you feel it underneath your touch—Sleeves garters.)

The smile on your lips widens, and you’re thankful that a mask covers your own face. “I’d call you handsome any day, sweetheart,” you tell him. “If it’s alright with your wife, of course. Such a charming little thing like you surely belongs to someone.”

“I think I like you better than my wife.” Alastor inches closer to press a kiss. “She never compliments me as much as you do.”

A delighted humm escapes you. “Then she’s quite the fool, for you are quite the charmer.”

Alastor shakes his head, a small laugh escaping as he smoothens some feathers that stick out your head. “You didn’t have to join me tonight,” he says. “I’ll be too busy with work to be next to you.”

“Then you should have thought about that before you gave me an invitation to Charlie’s party.” You reach out to smoothen the lines of his tail-coat, pulling on it to adjust its fit around his body. “And I’m already here, wearing a very, very, expensive dress.”

“Do you even enjoy such parties?” Alastor grabs your wrists before your hands can trail any further. “It seems your mind would rather be somewhere else.”

“There’s food and music, and I get the excuse to wear such a lovely dress.” You pull your wrist from his hold, catching his hand to intertwining your fingers with his. “Do you like it? I hope you do, considering I received it along with the invitation.”

Alastor lifts his arm, twirling you underneath to flare the skirt of the dress. “You look almost as dashing as I do.”

“Ha! And that’s precisely why I must join you, deerest.” You smack his bicep in good fun, barking out a laugh. Dear god, he’s wearing the leather sleeve garter tonight.) “With such dashing good looks, I’l fear others may try to take your attention.”

He flicks your nose. “Stop it.”

Alastor slips off the deer mask, gazing straight into you. Those eyes of his shine brighter than the stars above this Hell. He reaches out, and pulls on the ribbon that secures your own mask to your face.

There are feathers on your mask. It mimics the bird you are. Alastor inches closer, staring straight into you once there’s nothing to obstruct his view.

“That’s mine,” you say, trying to grab your mask.

Alastor shoves the deer mask on your face. The force causes you to stumble back a little. He’s such a nuisance, honestly…but …but well, his fingers brush over your feathers as he ties the ribbon on his mask. 

Strands of your feathers flow between his fingers as it lingers. Alastor presses the feathers to his mouth, brushing them with his lips. “I think our masks are a bit too on the nose,” he says, and each word caresses your feathers. “Deer masks suit you much better, and this way, I can spot you from even across the room.”

Alastor inches lower until you meet his eyes. You take the bird mask and tie the ribbon around his head, securing it on him.

There’s a feather that sticks out your head. Alastor picks it out. The stray feather gets waved around until he tucks it within the mask.

You reach out to remove the feather, but Alastor catches your wrist and presses a single kiss on the inside.

“The color of my feathers are different from the ones on the mask,” you tell him. “Come on, take it out. It sticks out a bit too much.”

“I’ll have you know that I quite like the feathers.” Alastor plays with the feather on his mask. “More importantly—tell me about your day. I want to know every second of every minute…it’s been a while since I’ve heard from you.”

“You would know all about my day if you were living at our home with me,” you tell him, crossing your arms. “You know, the home that we’ve built together for the past few decades?”

Alastor plays with the edges of your pinky before intertwining his fingers around your hand. “Or…” he begins, and presses a single kiss on the wedding ring around your finger. “I would known if you lived at the hotel…with me.”

There’s a smug smile on you. “Are you asking me to live with you?”

“Would you?”

“I would.”

“I’m still rather hesitant to involve you with the hotel…yet I found myself sending an invitation anyway.” Alastor presses a kiss on the edge of your lips, letting himself linger. 

“An invitation?”you say, faking a gasp. “That’s weird because I swore the invitation came with a dress as well. Hmmm, now I’m wondering who sent such a piece to me.”

“I found myself sending an invitation…and a dress.” Alastor rolls his eyes. “But the point still stands, it’s safer if you are at our home. It’s quiet and secure and doesn’t have a giant sign pointing straight at its door.”

“Ah yes��that,” you say. “I heard about it on the televisi—newspaper. It must be tiring to be attacked thrice in one day.”

Alastor shakes his head, pulling you into a tight hug. One hand presses on the back of your head, cradling you gently. “Just before I lose you to my job.”

You steal a kiss from him. “As if you could ever lose me.”

Music beats through the cracks of the Hazbin Hotel’s door. Alastor escorts you inside, a bird mask on his face as he runs his thumb up and down the skin of your hand. You adjust the deer mask on your face before following him deeper inside.

The door opens easily, and you walk inside, arm in arm with the Radio Demon. The fun about masquerade balls is being able to hide behind a mask.

 Except from those who really pay attention.

Vox approaches with a steady and confident smile. Two drinks are secured around one hand. The second reaches out for a handshake. 

Alastor takes a step forward, using his body as a barrier.

“Just a friendly one,” Vox says, a charming smile on his screen. “It would be a shake to ruin the Princess’ evening. The music is lively, and the food and drinks are delicious.”

Alastor’s eyes twitch from underneath the mask when he sees you reaching out to shake Vox’s hand.

Well, that just won’t do! Alastor takes the handshake intended for you, grabbing Vox’s hand before you can reach it, and shakes his hand with a firmer grip than needed.

You’re determined to enjoy yourself, and Alastor prides himself for being a Husband.  (Rosie tells him that there’s a difference between ‘a husband’ and ‘a Husband’ with one clearly better than the other.) So, Alastor won’t cause a scene—not today at least.

Vox slides his eyes towards you, a smug smile displayed on the screen of his lips as he shakes Alastor’s hand. It forces you to tighten your hold around Alastor’s arm, leaning into his bicep to hide a scowl.

The handshake lasts longer than handshakes should last.

Vox offers you a glass. “I brought drinks to start,” he says, keeping the second glass around his hold closer to him. “I hope I’m remembering this correctly—but you still enjoy lemony flavors, correct?”

“How delightful!” Alastor tries to take the drink intended for you.

Vox quickly retracts the drink, taking a single step backwards. “It’s for the lady.”

Alastor’s smile widens ever so slightly into a snarl.

You take the drink from Vox, smiling as lemony goodness fills your senses. Not many bartenders keep such flavors. Part of you wonders if Alastor organized the bar to keep your favorite drink in stock.

One hand trails up Alastor’s back as static emits from his skin. It snakes around until it hooks behind his neck to pull him into a kiss. It’s just a quick peck of the lips, but Alastor places a hand around your waist to pull you closer. Such things are reserved in the confines of privacy, but it seems he doesn’t mind tonight.

There’s an imprint of your lipstick on his skin. It’s something you don’t bother mentioning to him

“Just before I lose you to the crowd,” you say.  “I’m sure you can’t leave your post for so long, and I’ve already kept you for far too long. Don’t worry about me—I won’t be too far from your gaze.”

Alastor presses one last kiss on your cheek before walking away.

With a scowl on his screen, Vox turns the other direction.

You trail behind him, smiling at the second untouched drink around his hand. It seems he’s also wearing a tail-coat tonight, but it doesn’t suit him as handsomely as it does for your husband.

“So, it seems you're here,” Vox tells you, that proud Overlord puff on his chest as he walks around the room. “And here I was wondering why the life in the room suddenly became dull.”

“Funny,” you say, matching his steps. “It seems you’re still pining for my husband—Will you ever give up on him?”

“Ah yes…the same husband who disappeared on your for seven years,” he says, casually swirling the second drink in his hand. “He left you once, he can leave you again.”

You take a sip of your drink, letting the taste of lemon slide down your throat even as your eye twitches from underneath the deer mask. “It’s quite hilarious to know you still remember how my husband hates lemon undertones in his drink.”

“Well, I didn’t want him choking on such unrefined tastes.”

“Is this meant for Alastor?” You grab the second glass from his hand, bringing it closer to your nose. “Whiskey. Ah… it was meant for him. What—were you too scared to give it to him?”

Vox barks out a laugh, crossing his arm. “It’s for me, actually.”

“Then drink it.”

“It’s been compromised by your stench.” Vox takes the glass and tosses it away.

From across the room, Alastor swirls his whiskey and allows his eyes to wander across the crowd. In a room full of Sinners, he can never be too careful especially when you’re involved. It’s then that his eyes catch Vox inching closer to you, and it’s then that his grip on the glass tightens.

Charlie smiles at Alastor as he doesn’t seem to be listening to her. That’s alright—it’s quite loud and drinks often tend to loosen him up. Alastor’s looking at her, but his body faces the crowd as he leans on one of the tables. It’s almost as if he’s looking out.

It’s been the same pattern for almost fifteen-minutes ever since Alastor came back with a bird mask instead of his own deer mask. Charlie would say something, and he would nod. From time to time, Alastor would glance out into the crowd in the same direction his body is facing.

“So, I had an idea to get more sponsors,” Charlie tells him, tapping the glass for her soda. “We can do a whole music number with flowers and dancing and singing, and I just thought you could be our main lead! The genre would be rap music.”

Alastor’s eyes slid to the crowd once more. “What a spectacular idea!”

Charlie follows his gaze until they land on you. Well, that certainly solved the mystery of where his deer mask went and where the bird one came from. One of the feathers on Alstor’s mask matches yours perfectly.

“Do you think we can get more TVs for the hotel?” she asks. “And I don’t mean the old ones, but the flat-screens that are about fifty-inches.”

You glance over at Alastor and Charlie when you notice their looks, and offer a small smile and a wave.

Alastor smiles back, giving you a wave as well. “Perhaps.”

“How about some digital cameras?” she says. “All of us could take a happy family portrait.”

“Of course.”

Wait-staff carry trays of different types of appetizers. Vox snatches a couple tiny platters, offering some to you. The first bite causes you to hum with delight. It’s quite delicious…but quite small. Vox offers another tiny plate to you, and it’s grabbed enthusiastically.

It’s great that Vox took more than one.

He bites into the cracker with some kind of seafood on them, humming at the taste. “You’ve aged.”

“Yes, it seems I have.” You laugh at him, shaking your head as you take another sip of your drink. “I’m quite lucky that I’m in the company of my husband to grow old with. It’s quite the treat to be able to live day to day with Alastor.”

Vox offers you a bite of the cracker.

You take it, nodding and humming with delight at the taste. “Oh, that’s quite good—here, taste this one.”

At the sight of your laughter, Alastor’s drink shatters into tiny pieces of broken glass. It shatters to the floor.

Charlies raises an eyebrow at him. It only takes a snap of her fingers for magic to work its wonders and clean the broken glass and replace his drink.

“Apologies,” Alastor says, smile widening just a fraction. It doesn’t fully reach his eyes. “I forgot my own strength.”

Once more, Charlie follows Alastor’s gaze until it lands on you, and once more, the glass in his hand shatters when he sees Vox inching closer to offer you some appetizers and then your laughter.

Charlie snaps her fingers and a new drink appears in his hold. “I’m going to run out of glasses eventually.”

Alastor takes a turn around the ballroom after Charlie kicks him away from the corner. It’s all he can do to call his growing ire to keep the guests happy. Afterall, it’s him who controls his emotions and not the other way around. There’s also the matter of his job.

A Sinner blocks his patch, a doll-like smile on her face. “Do you happen to be the Radio Demon?”

“In the flesh!” Alastor’s smile widens to show off the yellow in his teeth, giving a little bow.

“I wasn’t sure with the mask,” she says, motioning towards it. “My friends said they spotted you earlier with a deer mask, but it seems you’ve changed it. I quite like the feathers .... Although, the one that’s different kind of sticks out.”

A muscle in his cheek tightens. “I’m quite fond of that feather,” he says. “It means quite a lot to me, and I don’t take kindly to those who insult what is precious to me.”

“Oh…of course,” she says. “It suits you quite well.”

She points a finger towards his bowtie. It seems it’s a bit crooked. There’s a smile on her face as she reaches out her sully hands to fix it.

Alastor takes a single step back, making it a point to show it off to her that he’s doing so.

The doll-like smile on her face wobbles a little. That’s fine. Alastor always hated dolls. “Oh…um…,” she says, scrambling to recover. “There’s a stain on your lips.”

His ears flicker for a moment, but he runs his thumb across his mouth. Red stains his gloves. It’s the color of your lipstick. “It seems I do.”

“Been drinking too much wine tonight?” She offers him a handkerchief.

“No need.” Alastor takes out his own handkerchief. It has his initials carefully embroidered on them.  He goes to wipe your stain on his lips, but decides against it. “The wine they serve here is quite bland, but luckily there’s something much sweeter on the palate.”

Her smile fades into a frown when she notices the embroidery on the edges of his handkerchief.

Alastor continues to stand with a smile as she tries her best to compliment him in the smallest of ways. It’s quite nice to hear such compliments that inflate his ego.

Although… It's a bit weird.

The thrill of sudden recognition doesn’t hit as high as before. It’s just stagnant now. Praise doesn’t thrill him like they should.

Alastor allows his mind to wander, and his ego inflated to the highest degree when he imagines you standing before him instead, saying the things this random Sinner tells him. (He should figure out a way to get you to compliment him more.)

Plates of food and dozens of empty glass litter the bar table. It’s the aftermath of downing unlimited alcohol and enjoying some appetizers as insults are hurled that not even a merciful god can forgive.

Vox takes a bite of the olive and flicks the toothpick that came with his drink. It lands between your feathers.

A curse escapes your mouth as you try to dig it out. “Why are you even here?”

“It’s a party.” Vox hands you another drink. “I like the music, the drinks are unlimited, and this is quite fun.”

The drink gets downed in one gulp, and you flick the toothpick at a passing Sinner’s hair. It lands between the strands of his hair. “That’s one more point for me,” you say, pumping your fist. “Come on, TV boy—give me my point.”

Vox’s head flashes. It goes from his face to a screen with both your names on it. The number below your name increases on point before his face returns once more.

You shimmy a little dance as your point increases.

Vox makes a face, cringing at your dance. “You’re such a fucking loser.”

“Ha! His loser,” you say, sticking out your tongue.

“You’re still five points down,” he tells you, scowling as he grabs a passing drink from a waiter. “Why suggest this game if you’re not even good at it.”

You shrug, grumbling a little. “I always win against Alastor.”

“Are we not going to get in trouble?” Vox swirls the drink in his hand. “This is still a royal’s party.”

“Aren’t you an Overlord?” you say, taking another bite of a cracker. “Act like it. I mean, it’s not like anyone’s going to call you out.”

The music catches your attention, and it pulls your focus to the dance floor. Oh…Alastor’s dancing. His broad back puffs out as he moves across the floor with purpose and grace. There’s a charming smile on his face as he dances along the beat of the music.

That looks fun.

 It would certainly be a shame to waste such a beautiful dress by blending in with the decorations on the walls.

You turn to Vox. “Care to dance?”

Vox takes another toothpick, flicking it. It missed the Sinner’s hair. He curses while you pump your fist. “With you?” he says, making a face “Ew—no, that’s disgusting.”

“Alastor’s dancing right now,” you say. “It looks fun.”

Vox raises an eyebrow and glaces to the dance floor. A snarl appears on his lips when he notices that smug smile on the woman dancing with Alastor. “A new challenger?”

You tilt your head, and feathers slide across your face as you observe Alastor dancing. Oh, Vox’s right. There’s a woman with him right now. “Oooooh, who’s that? She’s quite the belle—smash.”

Vox turns to you, making a face. It’s quite funny to see. “Do you even know what that mean—”

“I know what I said.”

His screen shifts and paragraphs of information appear on his face. “Oh…she’s one of the daughters of the Ars Goetia.” The scowl on his face deepens as he continues watching, and he offers an arm towards you. “Come on—let’s dance. Game on, bitch.”

“Just ignore her,” you tell him. “She’s no threat to me, and I allow you to flirt with Alastor all the time.”

“That’s because I play fair,” Vox says, rolling his eyes. “We have our rules, and it creates order. This bitch doesn’t know that…and hasn’t someone ever told her—three’s a crowd.”

Once more, you turn to the dance floor. Alastor’s graceful movements catch your eyes and a delighted hum escapes your lips. His body dances with control and power. There’s awe in the woman’s face as Alastor dances with her. 

That’s alright—she’s only doing her due diligence.

Only a blind fool wouldn’t appreciate how Alastor’s hair sways with each side-step, or how his tail-coat fits handsomely across his back, or how charming his smile paints across his lips, or how the dress-pants he wears compliments how long his legs are.

Vox may be a fool but at least he isn’t blind.

“Holy fuck! Woman—get it together!” Vox points towards the dance floor, to the Sinner dancing with Alastor.

There’s a triumph in her smile. She dances with Alastor as if she won.

Vox watches your expression carefully, chuckling as a cold look steels your face despite the gentle smile. Oh, it is so on.

“Well, this just won’t do. If there’s one thing I hate—it’s those who don’t know their place,” you say, snaking your arm around Vox with a smile. “Game on, bitch.”

Vox escorts you towards the middle of the dance floor, that proud Overlord puff back on his chest. It’s quite easy to match his movements when he always was quite the talented dancer.

“Hey…,” you say, eyes twitching. “What are you doing?”

Vox’ hands hover above your skin, refusing to make contact. “I’m afraid that if I touch you, my life would turn to ruin like everything else that has had the misfortune of meeting you,” he tells you, a triumphant smile on his lips. “And you’re doing the exact same thing!”

“That’s because I’m married. It would be improper of me to be touching such a slimy Sinner.” You slam the point of your heel right on his shoe. “My apologies…it would be much easier to dance if you’re actually holding me.”

Vox steps on your toes, and you snarl at him. “You first, witch.”

“As you say whenever Velvette tells you to take a bath—no thanks.”

“The I guess you say the same thing about shampoo—”

“May I interrupt?”  There’s a wide smile on Alastor’s lips that show off the yellow in his teeth. He stands in the middle of the ballroom, not caring as others give him weird looks for blocking the path. Alastor stands proud as his hand offers itself to you.

Across the dance floor, there’s an irritated look on the woman’s face when Alastor abandoned her mid-dance. There’s a smile on your lips as you show her what real triumph looks like.

Vox smiles at him, and hands you towards your husband. “Of course.”

He takes your hand, playing with the tips of your fingers before intertwining them. A hand snakes around your waist to pull you flush against his chest. The music flows slowly across the room. It’s sweet melodies forcing you to lean your head on his chest.

Alastor squeezes your hand.

You squeeze back.

His legs slide between your as Alastor dips you low, a hand on the small of your back to support your waist. He takes the lead in this waltz, spinning and twirling your around while pressing himself as close as possible to you.

The side of his cheek, nuzzles into the crown of your feathers as you’re swayed around the ballroom.

“I’ve found myself in a bit of a corner,” you say, snaking your hand up and down his back as if to pet it. “I owe Vox two dances. You interrupted the first, but there’s still the matter of the second one.”

Alastor’s hand tightens around you, and shadows flare around the room. It causes dancing couples to instinctively take a step away. “Did he force you into a deal?”

“Not at all,” you say, nuzzling into his hold. “I lost a bet, that’s all. You know me, I get rather competitive, and got a little bored a while ago after getting my fill of food and drinks.”

 “I’ll take your place so just stay far away from him.” Alastor’s smile turns into a snarl. “Don’t worry, he won’t bother you again after this.”

You go on the tip of your toes to press a kiss. “Thank you.”

Alastor twirls you underneath his arm. “I never got to ask…,” he begins. “How do you like my outfit?”

“It suits you very well, my love,” you tell him. “In fact, I have to say that you are the most handsomest of handsome, and those pants really do you some justice.”

Alastor flicks your nose. “Stop it.”

“Should I really?”

“No…,” he says, leaning into your ear. “I want to hear more.”

The dance ends eventually, and Alastor behind you with one hand on your shoulders and the other holding you to escort you like a gentleman.

Vox greets you with a wave, another drink around his hand.

You step out of Alastor’s hold and press a hand on Vox’ shoulder to whisper into his ear. “As you dance with my husband, I want you to know that he’s taking your hand only because I allow it,” you tell him with a smile. “I want you to know that it’s only possible because of the permission I grant you.”

Vox snorts and offers a hand out for Alastor. “Understood.”

The musicians play their instruments and music once again fills the dancefloor. Sinners stay paces away as Vox and Alastor dance, especially given the threatening expression on Alastor’s face. It’s funny how Vox doesn’t seem to mind Alastor’s darkened gaze.  The irritated look on your husband's face makes you a bit guilty. Oh well, you’ll make it up to him later.

The dance ends, and both Vox and Alastor go their separate ways once more. There’s a twinkle in Vox’s eyes as he gives you a small nod of farewell. It has you shaking your head.

Alastor wipes his hands before taking your hand once more. “Let’s go.”

“Already?” you say, frowning. “We’ve only had one dance so far.”

“We can dance to your heart's content, my love…just not here,” Alastor says, fixing the straps of your dress. His hands ghost around the zipper, and it lingers there for more than a moment. “Apparently, I’ve maxed out my working days. Charlie told me it was in my contract and I have to spend them before I can go back to work at the hotel. She practically kicked me out. So, I have the next few days off.”

“That’s good.”

“Shall we go?” Alastor brings your hand closer, pressing a kiss on the ring around your finger. “Home—our home.”

“Really?” you say. “You’re going to go home with me?”

“For the next two weeks.”

Alastor watches your smile brighten as your eyes crinkle. It’s the most precious thing in this ballroom, and its radiance can light up the whole room. You spring up to hug him, squealing as you wrap your arms around his neck. The force of your hug causes him to take a couple steps back to keep from falling over. Alastor places a hand on the small of your back to steady you.

His bowtie is crooked. 

You point towards it,and reach out a hand to straighten the fabric. Alastor takes a single step forward, leaning down to allow more access. The pads of your thumb smoothen his crooked bowtie.

Vox catches your eyes and he toasts a drink in your direction.

You remove the wedding ring around your finger, slipping it over your middle finger instead. The ring and the finger are presented to Vox as you leave with Alastor’s arm around your waist.

Game on, bitch.

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

Alastor whenever someone flirts with you : hiss hiss, get away from my wife. Reader whenever someone flirts with Alastor: Fucking understandable. Finally, someone with good fucking taste. This is so funny and silly. Vox and Reader are so sibling-coded that it wonderful. I love fan-fiction. I love how unserious it can be

[cevansbrat0007]

What's Eating You, Mr. Barber?

Summary: You decide to test your man's patience with a prank you saw on TikTok. CLICK HERE to check out Ari Levinson's reaction to the same prompt.

Warnings: Mature Themes, References to Smut, Andrew Barber Being A Menace, Brat!Reader, TikTok Hijinks, Bickering, Manhandling, Ass Slapping, Daddy Kink, Allusions to Oral Sex, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: Prompt brought to you courtesy of a Reader Request. This fic features Andrew Barber from my Growing Pains Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

It’s hard for you to put into words just how much you love playing pranks on your unsuspecting husband. And after downloading TikTok, you’d discovered that the app was home to an online treasure trove of practical jokes designed to make your loved one’s head spin. While it had taken a few days for you to settle on the right prank, you were pretty confident that the one you’d chosen would earn you a fun reaction from Andy without you having to risk your ass in the process. 

You find yourself grinning as you take your time prepping dinner, humming a little tune as you peel and press even more fresh garlic for your homemade tomato sauce. Tonight’s family dinner of spaghetti and meatballs promised to be very interesting. Which was why you’d also taken the liberty of setting up two hidden cameras – one in the dining room and one right here in your kitchen. 

As of now, you had no plans to post this on your channel. But you also didn’t want to miss a minute of your man’s reaction. Until then all you had to do was play it cool for a couple more hours.

Later that Evening…

“Baby Girl, are you sure you don’t need any help?” Your husband asks after watching you make what easily had to be your third trip from the kitchen into the dining room. 

Any other night you would’ve said yes, but not this one. Tonight you were flying solo. The cameras were already on and recording – you’d taken care of that before you’d started setting the table – and so far Andy hadn’t noticed a thing.

Hopefully you’d be able to keep it that way until it was time for the big reveal. 

“No thanks, Big Man. This Mama only has to make one more trip and then we’ll be ready to eat.”  You tell him before sitting two plates on the table in front of your two youngest children. You were down a kid tonight thanks to your oldest, Bianca, being away at a sleepover.  

Andy nods before leaning over to adjust the small hand towel you’d previously tucked into the front of your three-year-old son’s t-shirt. Not that it really mattered all that much since you were positive he’d be swimming in sauce before the meal was over. But what kind of mother would you be if you didn’t at least try?

Biting your lip in anticipation, you scamper back into the kitchen to grab dinner for you and your husband. Andy’s plate was piled high with a generous serving of spaghetti and meatballs. Meanwhile, you give yourself hardly any. 

And therein was the so-called prank. Earlier this week, you’d spent the better part of several hours gleefully watching as dozens of girlfriends and wives proceeded to serve their man impressive looking portions before sitting next to them with virtually empty plates for themselves. Many of the reactions had ranged from hilarious to heartwarming, with only a few dickish exceptions. 

Glancing over your shoulder to ensure you weren’t being watched, you pick up various pans and quietly place them in your oven and out of sight. For this to actually work, Andy would have to believe that there wasn’t enough for seconds or leftovers. Once that’s done, you square your shoulders and confidently march back into the dining room with dishes in hand. 

“I’m back.” You announce, placing a piping hot plate in front of Andy before taking your own seat at the table. “I tried something different with my sauce this time, so everybody dig in and tell me what you think.” 

Andy absentmindedly rubs his palms together as he stares down at the fragrant heap of spaghetti before him. Silently, you will him to look over at what you’d served yourself, but you force yourself to remain quiet so as not to give yourself away. 

“This smells amazing, sweetheart.” Your husband tells you, reaching for a piece of garlic bread. “I’ve been excited for this meal since you told me you texted me at 10:00am.”

“Glad to hear it, Daddy” You pick up the little bowl of parmesan you’d set out and hand it to your middle daughter, Katrina. “What does everybody else think?”

You take a brief glance around the table while you wait for feedback. And although you make a point of not looking at your husband, it’s impossible to miss the way he’s now staring at your nearly empty plate.

“Ooh.” You inwardly squeal, stopping just short of clapping your hands. “It’s starting!” 

“What’s up with this?” His tone is rife with confusion, which only grows when you decide to ignore him in favor of dipping a small piece of bread into some sauce. “Hey – stop!”

“What?” When you finally deign to return his gaze. You have to choke back a laugh as you watch a bewildered Andy comically gesture between your two plates.

“What the fu–fudge,” he swiftly corrects, “is going on with your plate?”

“What do you mean?” You aim to keep your tone light and breezy.

Your husband lets out a frustrated sigh. “Where’s the rest of your food?” He jabs at your plate with his fork, holding up the half of a meatball you’d allowed yourself.

“This was all that was left.” You tell him with a shrug.

“What the hell are you talking about?” His confusion continues to mount even as pauses long enough to grab a napkin to wipe at his son’s increasingly messy fingers. “There was plenty of spaghetti left on the stove.” While he’s occupied you quickly check on little Rory, who appears to be faring slightly better.

“Not really.” 

“Baby…” Andy pins you with a knowing look, one that you readily return.

“What? I…” You trail off, pretending to think. “After I realized BiBi wouldn’t be here tonight, I made some adjustments to the recipe. Turns out I didn’t make enough, so…” Another shrug. “This was all there was after I made everyone else’s plates.” 

Andy is uncharacteristically quiet as leans back in his chair. Meanwhile, your children are busy staring at you, each of them sporting tiny, furrowed brows. Pursing your lips, you set your fork down on your plate and reach for your drink. 

“You can have some of mine, Mama.” KitCat offers before sweetly pushing her plate towards you. The unexpected gesture touches your heart in more ways than one. Not to be outdone, your three-year-old twins also follow suit. 

“That’s okay, babies. I���m perfectly fine.” You reassure them, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Besides, this is all I need and –”

“Thanks kiddos.” Your husband kindly interrupts as he places his napkin on the table. “That was very sweet of you, wanting to take care of your Mama like that.” His brilliant blue eyes beam with pride as he speaks. “But Daddy’s got this one.” 

You’re momentarily taken aback when he stands, picking up his plate as he does. And you’re even more surprised when he motions for you to do the same.

“Can I see you in the kitchen for a moment?”

“Andrew, sweetheart, it’s okay. I promise.”

“Now, please.” It’s an order, that much you know. But at least your handsome ogre has enough sense to take on the word “please” at the end of it.      

“Fine.” You huff before standing and following him out of the room, although not before encouraging your children to keep eating while you’re gone. Just because it was Friday doesn’t mean it was time to dispense their normal bedtime routines.

You were only playing a prank, not embracing total anarchy. 

Once in the kitchen, you each take up residence in opposing corners. But of course, you’re careful enough to avoid blocking the view of the camera. 

“Baby Girl.” Andy exhales, his fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Do you really mean to tell me that there’s no food left? You really made all that pasta and there’s nothing?”

“Yes, Andrew.” You lie without missing a beat. “I already told you. I trimmed down the recipe because –”

“Because Bianca is gone. Yes, I heard you.” He sets his dish down on the counter, openly scrutinizing it. 

“So then what’s the problem?” You rest your back against your pantry while you wait for him to respond. 

“The problem – my problem –” Andy is quick to amend, shaking his head. “– is that you expect me to sit back and watch you starve while everyone else eats. And I don’t like it.” He scrubs a weary hand over his beard. “Hand me your plate, beautiful.”

“Why?” It’s impossible to keep the suspicion out of your voice. 

“Because I don’t need all of this.” He grunts, taking the plate out of your hands when you don’t comply fast enough. “In fact, I don’t need any of it. You eat and I’ll order myself a pizza after we put the kids down.”

“Andy!” You scoff, which comes out on the heels of a laugh. 

“What?” The man is clearly confused by your dismissal of his offer. “I am capable of handling myself, okay? My hands work just fine.” He grates out, making a show of holding up a large, lightly calloused palm.

“But I…I made that plate for you.” You were seconds away from caving and you both knew it. 

“And I’m telling you, my wonderful wife, that I want you to have it.”

“Oh, you really don’t have to –” You begin, wrapping your arms around yourself. It was time to fess up.

“Fine.” Andy breathes, taking a second to roll his broad shoulders. “Then we’ll split it.” He reaches for your hand, pulling you into his warm embrace so that he can whisper in your ear. “And then, after we put the kids down, we’ll order ourselves a pizza. Maybe open up a bottle of wine while we wait.”

“Yeah?” You murmur, relaxing as you bury your face in his chest. 

God, he always smelled so good.  

“Mhm.” He continues, nuzzling his nose against your curls. “And then, once we’re all giggly and buzzed, I’ll convince you to let me make love to you in front of the fireplace. We can even set up a booby trap so that we pretend like the children don’t exist.”

“Wow.” You can’t stop the giggle that bubbles its way past your lps. “Andy Bear, that sounds amazing. But I’m afraid I can’t.”

“Why the fuck not?” He rumbles as his brawny arms tighten around your smaller frame. You were pushing your District Attorney beyond his breaking point.

“Because.” Squirming out of his hold, you dance your way towards the oven in preparation for the big reveal. Hopefully your husband would be a good sport about all of this.

“Because?” 

“Because…” You draw out the word, even as you go to open the oven to show him what’s inside. “There’s actually plenty of dinner leftover. See?” You throw your arms wide, but force yourself to stop just short of adding spirit fingers because you suspected he wouldn’t appreciate it.

“Baby, I swear…” Andy sighs, his hands slowly sinking into the pockets of his charcoal-colored slacks as he rocks back on his heels. Most likely to keep himself from strangling you, his lovely wife. “Why–what would possess you to lie about something like this?”

“First off, sweetheart, it’s called a prank.” You bridge the gap between your bodies so that you can wrap your arms around his trim waist. “And secondly, I saw it on TikTok. Ever heard of it?” 

He glares down at you, which has you instinctively clenching your thighs together. That’s part of the reason you loved riling up your Big Man.

Being a brat got your motor running. 

“I take it you have.” You stand on your tiptoes to kiss away his frown. “Well, I fell down the rabbit hole the other day while the kids were napping. There’s this whole, like, subsection that’s just pranks. And the latest one involved these women pranking their guys by serving them a huge plate of food, and then pretending like there’s nothing left for them to eat. The reactions were super entertaining, so I figured I’d test it out, you know? Just for fun.”

You grace him with your most dazzling smile, but unfortunately, he’s still having none of it. His frown only deepens as he tilts his face up towards the ceiling in an effort to summon all of his remaining patience. 

“Are you mad?” Your teeth sink into your bottom lip while you wait for his answer.

“Yep.”

“C’mon, Andy Bear!” You pout before placing your hands on his biceps to give him a light shake.”Where’s your sense of humor?”

“Pretty sure I lost it the day you decided torturing me was your new favorite pastime.” He grumbles, although there doesn’t appear to be any heat in his words. “In fact, I have a feeling you just gave me several new grays.”

“Oh, don’t you dare blame me for those.” You tell him, playfully rolling your eyes at his dramatics. “I’ll have you know that you came home with those. I spotted ‘em the moment you walked through the door.” Your sassy response earns you a sharp crack to your ass, making you wince.

“Ow!” 

“Brat.” He grouses, even as he presses a sweet kiss to your nose. 

“Guilty as charged.” You hum, weaving your arms around his neck. “Besides, I had a feeling you wouldn’t let me starve.”

“Not sure it’s even possible to fail that challenge, Baby Girl. I mean, you’re my wife. My partner in crime. Did you really expect me to just let you go hungry?”

“You’d be surprised.” You mutter, making a mental note to show him a few videos featuring some of the men who’d actually failed the test. “But thankfully you didn’t. And neither did the kiddos. Which is why I will graciously allow you all to sleep inside tonight.”

You let out a tiny yelp when Andy suddenly grabs your ass with both hands, squeezing hard as he lifts you up. Unsure of what else to do, you immediately lock your legs around his waist. Right now you were just going along for the ride.  

“Now is that any way to talk to Daddy?” Andy lovingly captures your mouth, lightly stroking his along the seam of your lips. “Especially after you played such a mean trick?” His once clouded blue eyes are now filled with mischief. 

“Oh, I’m not sorry. But if it helps, I am willing to delete the video.” Your husband’s eyes go wide, letting you know that he hadn’t even considered the prospect of being recorded. So you keep talking, hoping to distract him. “And I still wanna get you drunk and take advantage of you after we put the children down for the night.” You run your fingers through his neatly coiffed hair, lightly scratching at his scalp with your nail.

“I don’t know if I should trust you.” He eyes you warily, making clear that he still hasn’t quite recovered from your earlier betrayal. 

“What if…” You lean in close, lightly nipping at his earlobe. “I could find it in my heart to apologize between then and now? How does that sound, Big Man?”

“I mean I might be interested.” Andy shrugs, gently setting you on the counter before bracing his muscled arms on either side of you. “Out of curiosity, just what kind of apology are we talking about?” He gazes at you with lust-filled eyes, eagerly anticipating your response.

“The kind that’s best offered while on my knees, wearing nothing but a flimsy pair of thigh highs and garters.” You know you’ve got him when you hear him groan low in his throat.  

“Fucky, baby.” Your husband hisses, burying his face in the valley between your breasts as his imagination suddenly kicks into overdrive. “Can you be sorry enough to wear the heels too? You know the ones I’m talking about.”

Oh. You knew exactly which ones he was talking about.

“I think so.” You murmur, stroking a tender hand along his back as he struggles to regain his composure.   

“Then we’ve got ourselves a deal.” He grips your hips before kindly helping you down. “Now let’s go get those kids fed and off to bed.” Andy grabs your hand, tugging you behind him as you head back to the dining room to see about your babies. 

“Slow down, Andrew.” You laugh as your legs scramble to keep up. 

“No can do, Baby Girl.” He grunts, picking up his pace. “Daddy’s really looking forward to that apology. So be sure to eat up because…” He trails off when he comes face-to-face with his sauce covered little ones. “...You’re gonna need all of your strength.”

“You can count on it.”

END

[sserpente]

A "Happy" New Year indeed 🥂🎇🍾🎆

Synopsis: Tony gifted you all a trip to the Bahamas to spend New Year's on the beach. Even Loki was invited but when no one else wants to spend time with him, you gather the courage to act on your secret crush on him until you end up sneaking away together...

A/N: Et voilà, just like that, I turned a couple older requests from @mandywholock1980, @frzntrx and anon (I’m so sorry for the delay) into a little treat for New Year’s Eve. “Slide well” into the new year tonight as we say in German! I’ll see you guys next year with lots of book news and of course, more Imagines! Thank you all for your love, for your comments, your kind words when you send me requests, for your likes and your reblogs and this year in particular, your patience! I appreciate you all so much and that’s almost 24k of you at this point! So crazy! To an amazing 2024!

Words: 2556 Warnings: smut, SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2

Where is that damn bathing suit? You’d packed it, right? You knew you’d packed it. It was on top of your suitcase so you wouldn’t forget. With a sigh, you rummaged through the clothes you’d brought, creating an utter mess in the process.

Holidays with the Avengers. Hallelujah. No wonder you were so worked up. It certainly wasn’t every day you unwrapped a neatly folded plane ticket to the freaking Bahamas on Christmas morning, a “little” treat from Tony Stark who had flipped the ice-cold temperatures in New York City the bird and booked you all a trip to the other end of the world.

Seeing both Steve Rogers and Thor topless was a delectable sight—not to mention how absolutely gorgeous Natasha looked in her black bikini. You felt self-conscious about yourself, to say the least, but the hilarious part was that it wasn’t because of a bunch of shredded superheroes; it was because of a very mischievous prince who had the very essence of the multiverse coursing through his veins.

The kiss had been… incidental. Rules were rules and Tony had been very clear about all the damn mistletoes he’d hidden across the tower and it was Thor who had not let either of you leave until you fulfilled the silly tradition. Ironically, it had been Loki himself who’d caused all that attention around the mistletoe all those years ago. He only had to blame himself but heavens… he sure knew how to kiss.

And just like that… there you had it. After spending Christmas, or Yule, as he liked to call it, Loki had—unbeknownst to him—managed to make you fall for him. He, who just so happened to have become the most powerful being in the entire universe; or multiverse, in this case.

There it is. The black bathing suit you pulled from the pile of clothes, at last, was your favourite, complimenting your body shape in just the right places. You’d already caught yourself wondering on the plane what Loki would think when he saw you in it. After all, he was a god. He’d met a number of goddesses and princesses, not to mention a stunning female version of himself. How could you, a mere mortal woman, possibly impress him? Hell, you didn’t even have superpowers. Nothing that would grab his attention. Perhaps you should have brought the mistletoe and steal another kiss. Perhaps you could get him drunk so he wouldn’t remember your heartfelt confession if he didn’t reciprocate it. Or maybe you shouldn’t say anything at all and keep the cheeky God of Mischief an exciting fantasy in your head. You’d totally not named the green and gold vibrator you had bought as a Christmas present for yourself after him… you would never do that…

Despite the fact that the Avengers were slowly—really slowly—warming up to the idea of him being around, Loki was alone when you joined the others at the beach. He’d conjured a green blanket with a gold rim to sit on in the blazing sun, his dark green trunks leaving nothing to fantasy. Although he wasn’t nearly as shredded as Thor was, godly strength aside, you were certain he could haul you into the air and one-handedly fling you across the ocean if he wanted to. Or maybe do push-ups while you were sitting on him…

“Hey.” You sat down next to him without waiting for an invitation, your gaze flicking over to the gang playing volleyball in the sand. “I don’t understand…”

“They hit the ball with their bare hands and fling it across the net. If it lands on the ground on the opposite end of the field, their team scores,” Loki said matter-of-factly.

You chuckled. “Not the game. Why are you not playing?”

“Please. This is hardly the most enjoyable place for a Frost Giant,” he replied. His voice was just as icy as the tale he was telling.

“I see… I’m sure no one would mind if you returned to the hotel until it’s dark. It’s gonna be a long time until midnight still.”

Loki scoffed. “Of course, they wouldn’t mind. In fact, they are likely hoping for it.”

“Well, maybe you can tell Thor—“

“Thor is making things worse. My brother has always had quite the talent for ignoring me when he’s with his friends. I am not going anywhere.” You could practically hear the unspoken words: I’ll stay out of spite and sulk.

“Okay then. But maybe you should wear sunscreen. The sun’s pretty aggressive in these parts of Earth.”

“I am a god. I don’t get sunburned.” Indignity swung in his smooth voice as he lifted his chin in defiance.

“Are you sure? At least sit in the shade then. If you’re uncomfortable, I’m sure we can find you some ice.”

“No”, Loki spat, earning him a frown.

“Hey, what’s with the attitude, Trickster?”

“This is ridiculous. I have a multiverse to look out for and Stark had nothing better to do than reduce me to… to…”

“…someone he’d trust enough to bring on holiday with him?” you offered.

Loki glared at you.

“You still feel like you don’t belong?”

Another glare.

“I don’t. Not with them. The only reason I am here is because of Thor who has conveniently forgotten I am even here.”

Your glance found his pale back as he spoke. Loki sighed.

“Would you feel better if I put this… sunscreen on?”

“I would, actually. You don’t wanna start the New Year as red as a crab. You should be blue,” you said, chuckling at your own joke.

“My true form might scare away the other hotel guests.”

“O-oh. No, I meant… blue as in drunk. Wait, so your Frost Giant form is… you have blue skin?”

Loki nodded. “And red eyes.”

“Damn… can you willingly control that? How you look?” You grabbed the sunscreen bottle from your beach bag and squirted a small amount in your palm. It caught fire the very moment it connected with Loki’s bare skin. Heavens… had he just… flinched?

“Odin put an enchantment on me when I was an infant. I could turn if I wished but it mainly triggers if I touch Jötun artefacts.” He didn’t seem all too delighted by the idea.

“I see.”

Quickly, to not get carried away by your fantasies, you rubbed the sunscreen on his back and shoulders and then offered him some more for his face which of course, he declined.

“Well… It’s gonna be a long evening. As soon as Tony brings out the schnapps, you can forget about reasonable conversations.”

Loki smirked. “Thor brought Asgardian ale. They will be unreasonable long before that.”

“And you?”

“What about me?”

You shuffled a little closer, careful not to sit in an awkward position and look at least a little sexy. “Do you plan on getting drunk?”

“It’s the beginning of a new year. Hardly a reason to celebrate.”

“Hmm… probably not if you turn thousands of years old. Still, living the life we do, we should be grateful for every year we’re still alive.”

Loki scoffed. It was easy for you to say, of course. You didn’t carry the entire multiverse on your back.

“I’m going for a swim. It’s getting a little too warm for my taste,” he announced.

You nodded, watching how Loki stood, strolled across the beach, and all but jumped into the ocean. You had to close your mouth to make sure you didn’t start drooling over him. Unfortunately for you, Tony sauntered over the very moment you picked up your jaw from the floor.

“You have a thing going on, don’t you?” the billionaire said. It wasn’t a question. In fact, you were quite certain he didn’t even expect a response.

“Excuse me?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him. I’ve had dozens of women look at me like that. You want my advice? Stay away from him. Loki is trouble. I don’t care if he’s the harbinger of the multiverse now.”

“Don’t worry, Tony. I can take care of myself,” you replied with a flat voice. “You could ask him to join you guys, you know. He was sitting here like a pile of misery.”

“He is a pile of misery. And how is this my fault? He could have asked to join too.”

“He shouldn’t have to,” you shot back. Checkmate. Tony sighed, shook his head and, after taking a huge gulp from his water bottle, returned to the volleyball field.

Alright then… if they were not going to celebrate New Year’s with Loki, then you would. You didn’t like beach volleyball anyway.

Loki had been right about the Asgardian ale. You’d been curious to try it and mesmerised by the taste. By dusk and only one small cup later, you were drunk. Well, sort of. You were present enough to form functioning sentences and sensible thoughts but you would be lying if you claimed that Loki hadn’t noticed your predicament.

Torches, driven into the sand, illuminated your unconventional party location, throwing dancing shadows on the ground and the palm trees around you. Music was blaring out from the speakers behind the bar where an employee, bless his soul, was preparing one alcoholic drink after the next. At some point, you had grabbed Loki’s hand and dragged him away from the centre of attention, somewhere you could talk in peace. You had so many questions—about him, about his thoughts, about his life. And the more questions you asked, the more you realised that apart from Mobius, perhaps, no one had ever taken such interest in him—over Thor, anyways.

You must have been talking for hours at this point.

“Loki? Can I ask you something… personal?”

“Twelve minus twenty-five!” Tony yelled. Right. Twenty-five minutes until the New Year.

The God of Mischief quirked an eyebrow. You took that as a yes and to be fair, he looked adorable holding a cocktail glass with a little paper parasol in his left hand.

“You’re a prince… and you’re a literal century older than me. You must have… lots of experience?”

“Experience with…”

“You know… intimacy. You, um…” You took a sip of your own cocktail. It was a Long Island Ice Tea, one of those you knew got you drunk even quicker than you intended. But you needed the liquid courage. It was the last day of the year, you might as well be daring. “You’re a really good kisser is what I’m trying to say.”

“Ah…” he teased. “You’re still thinking about our kiss, dear?”

“It’s hard not to. You wanna know the truth? I have the biggest crush on you. Not sure what’s stopping me from ripping your clothes off your body right now. Probably the fact that we’re not alone.”

Loki smirked. Then, with a start, he stood up and put both your and his cocktail glass on the little coffee table next to you both. Your heart skipped a beat when he offered you his hand. “Come with me.”

“W-where?”

“Somewhere we are… alone.”

Your eyes widened. The way he purred the words you were all but putty in his hands when you allowed him to pull you with him, back into his hotel room. They were big, massive suites all on the ground floor, actual cottages with straw roofs, a minibar, and king-size beds.

“It’s almost midnight. Whatever your plan is, we should probably—“ You didn’t get any further. As soon as the door fell shut and the room was drowned in darkness, Loki’s lips were on yours, his hands exploring your body and tugging on what little clothing you were wearing in this warm climate.

They were gone before you could blink, your legs wrapped around his middle, his hands on your butt, carrying you to bed. A moan escaped your lips when he broke his passionate kiss to get rid of his own clothes. He was wearing a white unbuttoned shirt, one that’d already had you drooling all over him, combined with another pair of dark green trunks.

You were about to comment how hot you thought he was when he kissed you again. You moaned again, felt his hard length pressing against your inner thigh. Instinctively, you spread your legs further, inviting him in. Still, he took his time.

One of his hands cupped your face, the other disappeared down to where you were already throbbing for him. Loki found you wet and eager, your back arching when he began to pamper your clit with gentle pressure, massaging the sensitive little nub until you went absolutely feral for him.

He was proving it, you realised. Proving a point. Answering your question. Yes, he had experience. And he was about to show you just how he could make his partners feel in bed. Fuck…

You whined when he pulled away but before you could complain, he pulled your legs apart even further and sank his length into you. He slid in meeting no resistance, filling you to the brim. For a moment, you both froze.

“You… feel like you’ve been made for me…” you heard him growl against your ear.

“Loki…” It was all you were able to respond when he began to fuck you, stroke after stroke after stroke. He was right. It felt so good you feared you’d pass out and miss out on the fun and you realised soon enough that you didn’t need his hands to give you bliss.

Loki buried himself even deeper inside of you, his forehead resting against yours; grinding so closely against you he created friction where you needed him the most. Slow and deep thrusts made you throw your head back. And then, all of a sudden, you could hear everyone outside count down from ten.

You came the very moment you heard the Avengers’ scream “Happy New Year”, followed by fireworks illuminating the night sky. Flickering, colourful lights fell through the gap of Loki’s curtains, reflecting the firework inside of you.

Pulsing around him, he kept pounding into you until he too reached his peak, his face buried in your neck.

The fireworks were still going by the time you were able to grasp a proper thought again, a whimper escaping your lips as you relished the feeling of Loki jerking against your walls and filling you with his seed.

“Happy New Year, Loki.”

“Happy New Year, dear.”

The God of Mischief smiled—it was quite possibly the most genuine expression you had ever seen on him. He pulled out and you rolled over so you came to lie on top of him. He was even more comfortable than the king-size bed. But when you tried to sit up and climb out of bed, he wrapped his arms around you, holding you captive.

“Where do you think you’re going? We’ve only just started.”

“Oh f-fuck… that sounds tempting but we should… probably wish everyone a happy New Year?” Loki quirked an eyebrow yet again. “Or maybe not…”

He smirked and allowed you both to sit up. With a simple snap of his fingers, he produced two glasses of champagne and handed you one. “Perhaps… I will start celebrating New Year’s after all.”

You grinned as you clinked your glasses. “But only if we do it exactly how we just did it.”

A/N: Happy New Year everyone! ♥

[celuere]

normalcy part 2 :]

you got hurt and you tried hiding it from arlecchino. of course it was in vain, since arlecchino will always have ears and eyes hidden in ever corner. she was pissed at how incomptenet her subordinates were in protecting you and disappointed in you for trying to hide it from her.

lyney and the other children were quiet while they watched the nurses tend to your wounds. you were nagged to death on your carelessness on leaving the house without informing anyone. you found it a bit hilarious to be the one nagged and not the one doing the nagging for the first time. you tried offering a gentle smile to the kids who remained by your side to ease their worries.

"kids, it's a small wound. it will heal in a day."

lyney was about to speak up on how you are being too casual about this before the sound of sharp hells walking across tiles sliced through the air. you let out a sigh, preparing yourself to face the wrath of your partner. arlecchino walked in the room and her mood worsened at seeing you bandaged up. the children didn't wait a second longer and left the room as they already interperrted their father's silent order. the nurse still stood by you, a bit shaken up by seeing the knave so up close.

without a word shared, arlecchino sat by a chair next to your bed. she barely glances at the nurse before saying;

"leave, i'll tend to her."

the nurse within a heartbeat hurried away. you gulped under the tension and weight of her stare on you.

"did you really think i wouldn't know?"

you winced at her question, you tried getting up from the bed to face her more directly but arlecchino stopped you, not wanting to reopen any wounds.

"i just didn't want to worry you, dear." you meant it, it's just a small wound. the children and your husband were worrying over a small matter. it will heal within two weeks and would probably leave a bare visible scar.

"you did a great job then."

her harsh words hurt you but you know she means only well. she always frets over your health, her harsh words might seem cold to others but you know her enough to know they come from geninue worry and love.

she let out a sigh as she saw you sulk. she stood up from the chair and sat on the bed, placing her warm hands on your face, she draws imaginary shapes with her thumb on your cheek. you smile at her warm gesture.

she wants to protect that smile from the harsh world. a world that is so vile and disgusting. being able to withness your smile itself proves how unworthy she is of you. so she shall make up for it by being by your side and protecting you from the vile beings.

after all, you are her god. and she is your servant, that will use her tainted hands to protect your clean ones. till the day she departs, she will make sure that your smile, your love, you genyle nature is protected. she swears that unspoken oath to you a million times as she kisses your hands, your lips, your forehead.

you are her salvation and in return, she will sin for you and only you.

"arle, lost in thoughts again?"

"don't change the subject, you will be punished for your idiocy."

"how mean."

Part one here

UHSKSBENWNNRNWNEN YES YES YES YES!!!!

DEVOTED ARLECCHINO. PROTECTIVE ARLECCHINO. HAVE. MY. BABIES. This amazing sob I loved every single word of this ANON PLEASE START PUBLISHING THIS GOOD FUCKING STUFF I AM BEGGING YOU also I’m sorry for late reply I somehow forgot I had requests to answer😞

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[9:13 pm] 

(cw: jaehyun drinks a beer)

Anyone looking looking at Jaehyun right now could tell he was angry. Heck, anyone with eyes would be able to simply glance at him and tell that they should steer clear of him. His jaw was clenched, his dentist probably wouldn’t be happy about the strain he was putting on his jaw, and his eyes were locked on you. You and the man who had been talking and laughing a little too much. Too much smiling, too much laughing, keeping you from Jaehyun for too long. You were only supposed to go to the bathroom then get a drink but now you’d been gone for over 10 minutes, most of that time spent with the bartender.

Jaehyun would argue he wasn’t a jealous person. He didn’t mind that you went out, other guys talked to you, that you had guy friends, because you always came back to him. You always reassured him, easing his hidden insecurities, that he was the only guy for you. But it was different now watching you laugh and look like you had no intention of leaving the bar anytime soon. You peeked a look back at Jaehyun, quickly turning and laughing along with the bartender.

The waiter came back by the table asking if everything this was still fine. Jaehyun replied coldly, eyes still locked on you that everything was fine. He tried to pull his eyes away from you, stabbing the food entirely too dramatically to distract himself from the view of you flirting a few feet away from him.

You finally said bye to the bartender, Jaehyun could tell because you wiggled your fingers flirtily before being called back by the bartender to collect a napkin that he had quickly scribbled on. His number no doubt. Jaehyun scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Here’s your beer,” you smiled, placing the bottle in front of Jaehyun as you plopped into your seat.

“I didn’t realize the bar was so busy,” Jaehyun replied nonchalantly.

“Oh, it wasn’t. The bartender was so funny and we got sidetracked,” you smile as you cut into your food. Jaehyun sends you a look asking you to elaborate, so you do. “Well, he was telling me that he really liked my shirt and that his roommate would like the shirt since their birthday is coming up so I told him about some stores that have some similar clothes. Then he started telling me some funny stories-”

“Yeah, he looked hilarious.”

“He was! He seemed really cool,” you hum before taking a bite of your food.

Jaehyun felt the annoyance and anger ease a little bit, you had come back to him but you were gushing over another guy to your boyfriend. How did that make any sense to you? Were you withholding information on purpose? Did you like the bartender that much that you had to hide it from Jaehyun? What did the bartender have that Jaehyun didn’t?

“So what, you like him now? He gave you his number didn’t he?” Jaehyun decides to bite the bullet and ask.

You reply calmly, “Well he very clearly told me he thinks that he and I could be good friends so the number was for friendship only because,” you try to fight back a smile, “he wanted to know if my friend at the table was single.”

Jaehyun chokes on his sip of beer, hitting his chest as he coughs to clear his airway. He still manages to choke out a “What?”

“He spent most of the time gushing over my friend and his silky looking hair and his cute dimples and his hot outfit. He asked me to pass along his number in case you might be interested,” you explained.

Jaehyun was bright red now, embarrassed from having made the assumption of you flirting with another guy, red from his lack of air, red from the indirect flirting.

“So?” You question, lightly kicking his foot.

“Why would I take another person’s number? I’m your boyfriend!” Jaehyun whisper yells.

You shrug, “I don’t know, he seems really cool and he gets off soon if you want to go and chat with him.”

“Stop trying to set me up with other people while we’re on a date! We’ve been together for three years!”

“Well you seem to think I go out to restaurants and try to pick people up on dates anyway, not sure if you’d be interested in that. Like maybe you were projecting,” you continue too casually.

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “you were looking back at me and laughing, then he scribbled something on a napkin and gave it to you. What was I supposed to think?”

“That I was making friends. I’m a cool person, people want to be friends with me, I make friends everywhere I go,” you reply.

“Of course I believe that, you’re a very cool person. I just get in my head sometimes,” Jaehyun replies quietly.

“Oh my love, I know, you get too lost in that big head too often,” you coo, reaching for his hand across the table.

“Uncalled for.” Jaehyun deadpans.

“So are you going to call him? I think you’re like way his type,” you ask teasingly.

“I’m not paying for dinner anymore and you’re sleeping on the couch,” Jaehyun tells you.

You laugh, shaking your head and narrowing your eyes at Jaehyun, “You couldn’t last an hour in bed without me.” And Jaehyun would hate to admit that you’re right.

[embrosegraves]

𝔻𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕊𝕞𝕦𝕘

(request) Carlos Sainz Jr x Reader "Are you decent?" "Probably not morally, but I've got clothes on, if that's what you're asking"

Dating a Formula One driver meant that life would never be smooth sailing. For a lot of people, this was terrifying and if you were honest with yourself, it did scare you a bit at first. However now that you were a few years into it, it wasn’t as bad as you once thought. Sure there were moments that you wished you could live even a tiny bit more privately, but such is life unfortunately. One thing you were grateful for about this chaotic spin on life (besides your boyfriend of course), was that your career was thriving. There was no way your career wouldn’t thrive. You were a lifestyle vlogger with access to the unadvertised side of a world famous athlete. 

You had been filming snippets of your life long before you had crossed paths with Carlos. Having been in the vlogging business for 8 years now, you had been dating Carlos for 3. Carlos was well aware of your career choice and while it had taken him a while to get used to you filming every other week, he eventually came to terms with it. He even managed to start having a bit of fun with it. Your fans always loved when Carlos made a cameo in your videos.

Currently, Carlos was getting dressed in your shared ensuite, having just finished showering after his training session, while you were filming in the kitchen. Today had been a filming day for you. You had taken the camera with you as you went grocery shopping, explaining that you were planning a home date for Carlos and yourself. You filmed as you went shopping for a small gift to give Carlos and you filmed as you prepped the food you planned to cook with Carlos later. 

Originally, you were content with waiting for Carlos to be done before you even went near the bedroom but you had forgotten something that you had left on your vanity. Camera in hand, you thought why not record the retrieval as a sort of spy-esque montage. It would be fun for the fans and yourself, and who could say no to pretending to be a spy? Opening your bedroom door, you moved the camera in a way that made it look like you rolly-pollied your way across your room. Making sure the camera was facing you, you began to ‘sneakily’ rummage through everything on your vanity in search for the “hidden jewel that had been stolen by pirates”. However it was nowhere to be seen. 

“Alright guys, I think we’ll have to give up on being spies. I’m pretty sure I left it in the ensuite because it’s not on my vanity.” You explained to the camera. ��There’s just one problem. Carlos is currently in said ensuite and I have no idea if he’s naked or not. Which isn’t normally a problem but I’m selfish so I’m gonna gatekeep that from you all.”  

You quickly made your way to the ensuite door and knocked loud enough for Carlos to hear over his music. You could hear him turn off his music. 

“Yeah?” He called from inside. 

“I’m filming.” You said. “Are you decent?” 

“I mean probably not morally, but I’ve got clothes on if that’s what you meant.” You heard him laugh to himself as you opened the door. You poked your head through first, just to be safe. Seeing that he was indeed dressed, you moved the camera to face him. 

“I’m keeping that in, I hope you know that.” 

“I would hope so, that was hilarious. The people need to know that I’m funny.” He walked up to you and gave you a kiss. “Did you need something?” 

“Mmm.” You hummed as his hands came to rest on your hips. “I honestly don’t even remember what it was.” 

Carlos chuckled before he grabbed something from the bathroom counter. He held it in front of you with a smirk on his face. 

“It wouldn’t happen to be the mini ring light that you always forget to put back on your vanity, would it?” 

Your sheepish smile told him everything he needed to know.

overall, I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. With twitter in shambles over what happened, I thought I'd post the Carlos request I had in my drafts, as a treat/distraction.

I hope you all enjoyed!

Likes, replies and reblogs are always appreciated!

[hugsandchaos]

I’m gonna make this before I forget.

Imagine a Sonic Boom AU where Shadow and Sonic were friends before the series even started, but no one knew. Sonic never brought him up. He really wanted to, but Shadow asked him to keep him a secret. In the final episode of the first season, Shadow actually helps Sonic much to everyone’s surprise. Sonic is overjoyed to see him again and goes straight for a hug after the fight. Shadow lets him have this hug and even returns it. Anyone else who tries to touch Shadow is likely to get pushed away.

No one really understands how they’re friends, or how they became friends in the first place, but that’s how it is. Except they’re crushing on each other and Amy’s the first one to notice it.

Now as much as her going through some character growth and letting Sonic be happy at the cost of her own feelings and eventually getting over him would make a great side plot and opportunity for angst, I find it funny to think of Amy not having feelings for the sole purpose of her being the one to slam the table and shout “Just confess already!!” at both of them. Bonus points if others thinks Amy was crushing on Sonic and asks if she’s okay only for her to be confused.

And we all know comedy’s a key part of Sonic Boom, so I’m keeping it. Speaking of comedy…

Tails: Really? Sonic? I know he’s my big brother and I should be nice and all, but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. One of the dullest, actually.

Shadow: I wish I knew. I fear that his foolishness might be part of it.

Another bonus bit; Shadow’s tail actually looks more like the Black Arms. Sort of. It’s much longer than a regular hedgehog’s, moves around as easily as Eclipse’s did, but it has fur and quills at the end that look like the Shadow the Hedgehog symbol. He mostly keeps it hidden, but when it’s just him or just him and Sonic, he’ll have it out. He especially keeps it in when Sticks is around. He doesn’t want to answer questions she’ll definitely ask if she finds out.

Sonic is honestly a little disheartened by this, and his slight distrust in Sticks because of her conspiracy theories being surprisingly on point with Shadow, but he understands that Shadow has trust issues and tries to help. He’ll never argue when he has it out, though. He finds it sweet when Shadow’s hands are full so he holds Sonic’s hand with his tail instead.

Actually, you know what would be hilarious? If Shadow and Sonic were already dating before the series, but Shadow had to leave for some reason. When he comes back, he does it with an accidental dramatic entrance during a fight with Eggman. The fight pauses to look at the newcomer who just walked through a disaster unscathed. Sonic goes all soft and says “I love my emo boyfriend”.

Eggman: Uh, are you sure we shouldn’t be running? He seems pretty angry.

Sonic: No, no, don’t worry. That’s how he normally looks—

Shadow, very angrily: Bluebell!!

Tails: “Bluebell”?

Sonic, already halfway across the horizon: HAUL ASS, EVERYONE, HE’S PISSED!!!

…Bye 👋

[shentheauthor]

Headcanons for how the Harbingers react to their S/O getting into a fight and just beating the breaks off of some assholes who were insulting their beloved Harbinger? And the Harbingers see this happen? But then the next time they see their beloved Harbinger, they wanna act like they slick and that they didn't just solo a bunch of people in a fight to defend their honor?

On it 🫡

Harbingers with an s/o who defends them

~~~~~

Pierro:

First of all, he’s frankly shocked

He was ready to deal with it himself, but THERE YOU GO—

Just kinda watches for a minute in shock before getting hit with pride

Of course he’s concerned for your safety

And he will scold you to make sure you don’t put yourself in danger

But the way you act so casual after will give him pause

How often do you do this???

How strong are you if you can solo a bunch of people and not break a sweat???

Confused and shook, but he appreciates it

“Next time, let me handle it, dear”

Capitano:

He normally wouldn’t even bother with people insulting him, unless it’s soldiers who need to be put in their place

But oh boy

When you go in, fists flying and WINNING that fight?

He is SO impressed

He never knew his s/o had so much hidden strength!

He would tell you to let him handle it, but he secretly likes being protected

It’s nice to have someone else take the wheel

He’s not really phased by you pretending you didn’t just lay a dozen people out in front of him

He’s casual about his achievements too, it’s no big deal

Y’all are a literal power couple, it’s kinda terrifying KGKBKDKV

Dottore:

He’d be shocked by two things: the fact that you had this much hidden strength, and the fact that you beat him to it…

He wants to study you (literally)

“My dear, why didn’t you tell me you were so powerful? I would’ve asked you to participate in my experiments sooner!”

Don’t do it bestie—

He’d find your casualness hilarious

Def wants to pick your brain and find out why you brush it off like “it was nothing”

(It’s bc you care about him, he’s just stupid)

Be prepared to fight off his experiments for a LONG time

Unless you want to participate for some reason???

Columbina:

She hides her surprise well

But honestly she’s delighted

She likes being protected, and she finds it adorable that she has a personal defender now

“Perhaps I should hire you as a bodyguard, hm?”

Even more amused by the casualness of it all

You can perform incredible feats of strength when it comes to defending her, and brush it off like it’s just another Tuesday

It’s impressive, especially for a human

If you’re visionless? That’s just even cooler

Columbina doesn’t want you to sell yourself short in front of her

So she will encourage you to display your strength more often

She definitely doesn’t just think it’s hot, not at all /s

Arlecchino:

How did you beat her to it???

Seriously, she’s so fast to deal with insubordination, your speed is terrifying

Not to her tho

She thinks it’s impressive as hell, and she just watches with a smile

Doesn’t really get why you’re so casual about it

“You can’t seriously be trying to gaslight me into believing it wasn’t impressive 😒”

Lets you handle things from now on

Nobody else gets that honor

You are her personal bodyguard

Is it because she likes watching you fight, or watching people in pain from the outside?

The answer is both

Everyone is scared of y’all

Pulcinella:

One of the few who’s just worried, not impressed

A bit shocked, but the concern takes over fast

“Are you alright????”

Utterly baffled when you not only emerge without a scratch

But without even seeming to care about what you did

“Oh haha yeah it’s nbd, I’m happy to defend you”

“YOU TOOK OUT TEN PEOPLE”

You’re giving this man a heart attack

He tries to keep you away from people insulting him now

He doesn’t want you making things worse unintentionally, or getting hurt

Mostly getting hurt

He can’t stop you all the time tho, so plenty of rude politicians end up in the hospital still 😭😭

Scaramouche:

Again, how did you beat him to it

He’s annoyed at first, bc he had it under control

But that vanishes when he sees you LAY WASTE to the idiots that insulted him

He’s so impressed

He will hide it, of course, but he would be so bad at it

Especially when you brush it off after he asks about it

“What do you MEAN it’s no big deal????”

His tone sounds like he’s berating you

But he’s actually hyping you up

*don’t sell yourself short, you’re amazing, you’re so cool and strong aaaAaAaa*

That’s what he’s thinking

You are VERY impressive for a mortal

And if he lets you take care of insubordination from now on? Well that’s none of anyone’s business

Sandrone:

Honestly? She’s slightly annoyed that you damaged them so badly

She wanted some new dolls, dang it

BUT!!!

She also loves it 😭😭

She’s highkey down bad for you, and this only made it worse

Annoyed when you ignore what happened

“Don’t just pretend nothing happened, doll”

Demands an explanation as to HOW you did that

If she doesn’t get one, she’ll be pissy 😭

But hey at least she has a super strong partner who can take care of the dirty work so she doesn’t have to

Signora:

Dawg

This woman is not easily flustered

But you did the impossible and actually got her to blush

RIZZED UP

She would hide it fast, but man you impressed her

She doesn’t need protection at all, but she will accept it if it comes from you

Still, she makes sure you understand just how reckless that stunt was

“Let me take care of it from now on”

Lowkey angry when you pretend it never even happened

You can’t just do that??? And not answer any questions about it???

The audacity

Still, genuinely proud of you, happy, and a tad concerned for your safety

Pantalone:

Now where did you get those skills from???

This man is hella curious

“You never told me you could do that, darling…”

When you answer with “do what?”

Oh man, the offended look on this man

He doesn’t like secrets being kept from him, even if it… isn’t really a secret

Will deliberately bring you to places he knows he’ll get insulted

Partially bc he wants you to acknowledge it, and partially bc he also loves the feeling of being defended like that

He also likes seeing his enemies get the shit beat out of them

Congrats, you’re his personal bodyguard now /srs

Like he will deadass pay you money

You have a new job now KRKBKBKWKKV

Tartaglia:

I saved the best for last (I totally don’t just go in rank order every time so I don’t leave anyone out, nooo…)

My god this man is EXCITED

He is RIZZED

“Beautiful, fun, AND strong??? You’re so perfect :D”

No matter how much you pretend it didn’t happen, he won’t let it go

Constantly asking you to spar

He will talk bad about HIMSELF just to see if you’ll fight him

It wont work

Please please spar with him, he’ll be so happy

Of course he doesn’t want you to put yourself in excessive danger

But he will offer to train you

POWER COUPLE!!!

He loves having someone who will watch his back

He will have to keep you from overdoing it tho 😭😭😭 sometimes it’s better to let things go than fight

[sunshinebingo]

A BatBoys + Gwynriel fic

Synopsis: Cassian and Rhysand watch an interaction unfold between Azriel and Gwyn when the latter comes to see the shadowsinger while they are drinking together. Azriel has no idea what they find so funny about it. But they certainly find it hilarious.

Word Count: 1.4k

Read on Ao3 or below the cut

“There’s something in his eyes. Like a sparkle,” Rhys said, his own eyes squinting and his hand lazily rubbing his chin.

“Hmmm,” came Cassian's response while he swallowed the sip he had taken from his drink. “Yes. Plus he has been making that weird face more.”

“You mean smiling?”

“It’s not just smiling. It’s that little tug of his mouth that I think he thinks he’s hiding well, you know?”

Cass’ lips turned the slightest at the corners in an attempt to demonstrate what he meant.

Rhys chuckled. “I know exactly what you mean.”

“And you must have also noticed the –“

“For fuck’s sake. Can you stop talking as if I’m not here?” Azriel jumped in, tired of feeling like an oddity sitting across from them.

“We’re just making some observations,” Rhys explained matter-of-factly.

Said observations had been going on for at least half an hour and Azriel hated every minute of it next than the previous one.

“To make sure you’re alright.” Cassian added and raised his glass in Azriel’s direction. “Are you sure you’re alright brother?”

Azriel rolled his eyes with a groan. Something was clearly wrong with these two. There was no other explanation.

He downed his drink and stood up to walk to the bar in the corner of the room. He grabbed the decanter that the House of Wind had provided them and poured himself another glass, fuller this time. There wasn’t enough drink in the entirety of Velaris for him to deal with these idiots and their idiotic questions. Questions which got dumber with every glass they finished. Some people really shouldn’t be allowed to drink.

Azriel didn’t know what the hell they were speaking of. There was nothing wrong with him. So he had absolutely no clue what in the seven courts they were on about sparkles and hidden smiles.

He was about to tell them to shove their ridiculous thoughts up their asses when a distinct set of footsteps was heard skipping in the living area, followed by a singsong voice that sounded like salvation from the hell he had been living the whole time he had been sitting with his brothers.

“Shadowsinger, I have a special something just for y... Oh!”

Silence followed. Azriel remained where he stood, body frozen and eyes locked on the glowing female that stood before them. From their respective seats, Cassian and Rhysand’s eyes darted between their third brother and the equally still priestess at the threshold. The more seconds passed and the more pink tinted her cheeks and nose as she also started looking at everyone present.

“Hello Gwynnie,” Cassian slurred with a mischievous grin.

“Hi Cass.” She blurted out and looked to the one sitting on the couch to his right. “High Lo- Rhysand,” she corrected herself with a smile after he smirked and rose his eyebrows with a silent reminder to drop the fancy title in private settings.

That smile of hers turned brighter with the giggle she let out when a few of Azriel’s shadows left their current resting place to twirl around her arms and in her hair. “Hello to you too,” she greeted them with much more enthusiasm than she had anyone else.

If Azriel wasn’t still staring at her, he would have noticed the side glances, the wiggling eyebrows and the grins that his brothers were exchanging.

“I’m sorry. I can come back when you aren’t busy,” she told Azriel and made to turn around. At the mere thought of her leaving – which would mean that he would find himself at the mercy of his stupid brothers again – he shook his head to break free from his momentary trance and walked to her.

“Wait.” He winced from how loud his voice came out. His ears picked up a snort from Cassian which he decided to ignore since he didn’t know the reason behind it. Probably another nonsensical thing again.

“It’s alright Gwyneth. You’re not interrupting anything serious,” Rhys said before Azriel could.

Azriel felt the urge to hit him in the face to erase that smirk he was still sending Gwyn’s way. That urge faded away when she faced him again. He was so stunned by the colour of her eyes that, for a moment, he didn’t realise that she was speaking to him while he just stood there with his mouth open. That was until he heard Cassian whispering, “I think he’s broken,” before he and Rhys started laughing like little girls.

Azriel scowled at them, making sure to send every bit of annoyance he was feeling in his gaze. He suddenly wished that looks could kill so they’d both drop dead. Or at least mildly paralysed.

Another giggle from Gwyn made him turn to her again. She lowered the hand that she was covering her mouth with and stood straighter.

“I came to give you this.” She handed him the heavy book that she had been carrying in her arms. “It’s about all the magical weapons that have been recorded since the first war. I bookmarked the pages which contain the ones you are investigating,” she explained.

“That way you won’t have to spend your entire nights going through thousands of old reports.”

Azriel looked down at the book with plenty of colourful little tabs peaking out of the pages. Then at his hands where a strange sort of electricity went up his arms when her fingers brushed his as the book passed from her to him. Warmth crept up his neck and face. It was strange that the alcohol he had consumed was only affecting him now. It had to be that. Right?

“Aww look at his cheeks,” came from Rhys.

At his silent command, a few of his shadows reluctantly left Gwyn’s side to try and silence whatever the idiots were talking about. For whatever reason, their muffled laughter turned louder, even as they shooed his shadows like they were chasing flies away. Azriel ignored them as best as he could and focused on Gwyn.

“Thank you, Berdara.” He clutched the book to his chest like it was the most precious thing he had ever received.

Azriel smiled down at her and delighted in the one that he got in return. They stood there for a while. A familiar energy surrounded them, similar to the one that he often felt when they were together. While their interactions could sometimes be funny thanks to their banter and her witty sense of humour, or even filled with a heat and tension that he couldn’t explain, this time it was soothing yet a little giddy due to his shadows antics. Azriel could have spent the rest of the night like this. But, too soon, he was reminded of the presence of his brothers when Rhys whispered, not very quietly,

“Look! It’s the sparkle.”

Azriel closed his eyes and made a list of all the reasons why killing his brothers right now would be a good idea. He still didn’t know what the fuck these two were talking about and it was starting to really grate on him.

“Well,” Gwyn broke through his thoughts when he reached reason number 6. “I’ll leave you all to your little bat boys bonding time.”

From the sound that he was making, even without looking at them, Azriel was fairly certain that Cassian had just spat his drink back in his glass.

He stopped breathing when Gwyn rose on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “See you tomorrow, Shadowsinger.”

She pulled away with another smile and flushed cheeks. “Bye guys.” She waved at Cassian and Rhys.

Both stopped laughing and stared at Gwyn like she was another oddity. After she disappeared through the hallway, humming like she so often did, and with a shadow still on her shoulder, Cass and Rhys slowly turned their heads towards Azriel. Like vultures who have detected the perfect the prey. Their eyes glistened with tears from their laughter and their grin got wider and wider.

“If either of you say something,” Azriel warned them, “anything. I will punch you.” Both of them opened their mouths at the same time. “So fucking hard.”

Cassian’s cheeks puffed as he held in yet another laugh while Rhys hid his by bringing his glass to his mouth. Azriel’s glare remained fixed on them even as he walked back to the bar. He picked up his glass along with the decanter and went to sit down again. Azriel decided then to leave the questionable mental states of Rhysand and Cassian to their mates.

While his brothers moved on to somewhat more sane topics of conversation, Azriel started to flip through the pages of the book. Although, what he focused on was not it’s content, but rather the sweet scent that clung to it.

[namiusedbubble]

When they have a crush on you

SEBASTIAN SALLOW:

☠️  Sebastian is not the type to hide his crush. Even before he figures it out, everyone around him will know because of how differently he’ll treat you compared to everyone else.

☠️  He’s charming and friendly towards you, which happens to be his biggest tell as he can be quite snappy and temperamental to anyone who interrupts him.

☠️  He tends to become hyper-focused on things, whether it be spending hours with his head buried in a book or diligently searching spider-infested catacombs for a dark relic, there is no stopping him until he gets what he wants. That naturally extends to wooing you.

☠️  Suddenly he’ll find any and all reasons to spend time with you. Oh, you’re good at Herbology? It just so happens that Sebastian is in desperate need of a tutor! Oh, you’re a good duelist? Please help me take down this goblin camp real quick before meeting my family Why don’t you join this exclusive little dueling club I’m in? 

☠️  Not only does he want to spend as much time with you as possible, he also wants to be as close as physically possible without crossing any of your boundaries. He’ll push you behind him when facing enemies, he’ll constantly lean against things with his arm next to your head, and he’ll offer his hand to help you up and down ledges or off your broom.  

☠️  He has a jealous streak, so if he sees you becoming particularly close with anyone he deems a potential romantic threat, he’ll insert himself into the situation and either make an excuse to pull you away or pout and glare until the other person becomes uncomfortable enough that they’ll excuse themselves just to get away from him.

☠️  In any case, I don’t imagine you’ll remain in the “crush zone” for very long. Sebastian can hardly go five minutes around you without saying too much or revealing his or someone else’s secrets, let alone try to keep his feelings hidden when they grow every day you spend with each other.

OMINS GAUNT:

🐍  Ominis is a bit more subtle in his affections than Sebastian. It will take him a while before he approaches you, just so he can be sure he actually wants to pursue you and it isn’t just a fleeting crush. 🐍  He’ll sit near you, but not next to you, in classes and at meal times. He likes hearing your voice as you chat to your friends or make snide remarks about the professors when you think nobody is listening. Sebastian will often catch him smiling at seemingly nothing whenever you’re around. 🐍  You’re both desperately trying to keep yourselves awake in History of Magic one day when Ominis makes a witty comment at the expense of Binns, and he’s floored when you laugh next to him, quietly leaning over to share your own comments about the professor’s riveting tale about another centuries old wizarding war. 🐍  From that day on, Ominis went out of his way to make you laugh. Whenever he’d find you in-between classes, he would sit next to you on the bench and make passing remarks about the other students. It seemed he knew everything about everyone and had something to say about all of it, and you found his little quips absolutely hilarious. You’d always thought Ominis Gaunt was a refined, quiet gentleman, yet here he was tearing into Leander Prewett with no remorse and telling first years that the giant squid liked to feast on children walking too close to the lake. 🐍  He would be so sweet to you, doting, even. If you’d had a particularly stressful week catching up on assignments or running errands for everyone and their dog, Ominis would offer to keep breakfast for you so you could sleep for just a few minutes longer. When he notices you rushing about the castle, he’d stop you to ask if you’d taken a break that day and if you’d like to accompany him to the library for a spot of light reading. On the various occasions you’d come back injured, he would offer you his arm as a way to keep you steady. Eventually, offering you his hand or arm becomes second nature and you’ll find yourselves walking like that even when there’s no need to support you physically. 🐍  I think it would take a long time before Ominis admits his feelings. He enjoys the safety of the courting stage because his family are less likely to involve themselves. He’s also afraid you’ll reject a serious relationship with him because of their reputation and behaviour. He might huff and puff about how it’s a gentleman’s responsibility, but he’d secretly appreciate if you were the one to make the next move.

GARRETH WEASLEY:

🧪  I imagine Garreth would have to be friends with someone before he develops a crush on them. 🧪  While this social butterfly could easily make friends with a wall, that doesn’t mean he knows how to flirt with one. He’s so subtle with his intentions that it’s easy to assume he’s just being his regular, friendly self.

🧪  He would take a break from his experiments to brew you an endless supply of Wiggenweld potions for your adventures. He knew you were capable of handling yourself, but he worries about you and wants to help in any way he can.

🧪  He’d make it a point to accompany you around the castle, offering to carry your books or help with extra assignments. He’d refrain from using you as a guinea pig, but he would ask you to help him find ingredients for various potions, sometimes even at strange hours of the night. Most of the time, he has no use for the things he is asking for, he just wants to spend time with you.

🧪  Despite the Weasleys not having a lot of money, Garreth would always offer to treat you to a butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks. He often buys (and occasionally swipes) bags of your favourite sweets from Honeydukes, even though he isn’t partial to them himself. He thinks he’s being subtle by asking you to share, but it doesn’t escape your notice that he never takes a single one, instead leaving them all to you.

🧪  Garreth eventually confesses his feelings to you while drunk on the effects of Felix Felicius. He had been trying to brew it for you, knowing you had a particularly difficult mission ahead, but he had to try it first to make sure it wouldn’t turn you purple or make you break out in boils.

AMIT THAKKAR:

⭐  This poor boy somehow manages to be both a stuttering and word vomiting mess around you.  

⭐  One minute he is telling you all about the great tales he plans to write, how Binns will be assigning his books to every student at Hogwarts by the end of the decade, and then you’ll give him that smile and he’s suddenly blushing and stuttering uncontrollably.  

⭐  He’s most comfortable around you at night, when the stars are there to calm his nerves. This is when you’ll get to see the true Amit, the cute, gentle boy who will point constellations out to you for hours if you’re interested. Although he’d much prefer to find real constellations and their associated imagery, you can occasionally rope him into a silly game of ‘connect the stars’, only because he loves the way your face brightens when you vaguely recognise a mooncalf or niffler dotted in the sky. 

⭐  He is incredibly intelligent, so if you ever need help with a subject, you can rest assured that Amit is more than willing to offer you (and only you) his tutoring services, free of charge! ⭐  Amit is 100% going to support you in all of your endeavors, regardless of how much interest he has in them himself. You play on the Quidditch team? He’ll be at every single practice session to cheer you on. You enjoy ballroom dancing in a room full of dead people? He’s now practicing in his common room every night so he won’t step on your feet (Go to sleep Amit, it’s three in the morning!). You name it, he’ll be there, probably reading a theory book about the history of the hobby. ⭐  It might take him ages, but he will 100% confess to you in the cheesiest way possible. Maybe it will be through an original poem personally delivered to you by owl, or maybe it will be through spelling “I  ❤️ U” in the stars. Regardless, he’ll make sure you’ll be melted into a puddle by his sweetness.

[fluffypotatey]

evil swk only it's him finally fed up with everyone hurting mk so he kills the latest villain of the week and takes the powers of the Jade Emperor for his own thus: Monster (epic)

oops, hands slipped!

He meets MK on accident. Sun Wukong does not make it his ordeal to wander where mortals are near, but sometimes needs must. his little Suns have chosen to pester him about this specific brand of chips (how they ever got their hands on a bag of chips in the first place is a mystery of itself), so after hours of twisting his arm, Wukong obeyed their pleading cries and whines.

the accident came when Wukong found himself run over by a meager delivery cart. the boy, probably only two decades old, hopped off his death kart immediately, apologies spilling from his lips while Wukong debated throwing his disguise down the gutter and raising this whole block to the ground.

“—you have to understand! The Megapolis Grand Prix has a grand prize of an immortal peach and I thought I could both race and deliver, you know, kill two birds with one stone and all that but—“

“I don’t really care, kid.”

The mortal was quick to shut his mouth and nodded. Another apology was thrown out while Wukong dusted off the spare dirt from his clothes, and he was pretty sure the mortal made sure to follow him back to the safety of the sidewalk. It was a little overbearing, but Wukong was trying to keep a low profile for the sake of a stupid bag of chips. He would rather not bring Heaven or any other celestial’s attention to himself.

The things he did for his monkeys.

-

He met MK again on New Years. Again, his little Suns sent his out for a task— apparently, some idiot decided to teach them what noodles were and Wuking spent months suffering while they bemoaned and cried about it.

There was a plaza full of food trucks, so Wukong figured he’d find noodles over there somehow.

“Oh! It’s you!”

Wukong was startled by the smile, how it spread wide, so easily like a trained soldier (except soldiers were more fixed and lacked the warmth this smile gave). The mortal stood behind one of the windows of a truck, apron tied around him.

Wukong grunted put a hello.

“Can I get you anything?”

“Eight helpings of noodles.”

“Wow, that’s quite the haul! Got a party or something?”

“More like a family of rascals.”

The mortal laughed, quickly writing down the order before placing somewhere near the kitchen. There followed some indignant shouting about the order while the mortal— MK, the cool called him MK— placated and answered all the cook’s questions.

“It’ll be ready in an hour? Maybe longer.”

-

The third time, he found MK through his monkeys. A mortal, they had chirped at him, a mortal on the beach! Color him surprised when it was his mortal he found. How he got past the volcanic mountains was something he figured MK would tell him when he woke up.

And, boy, did he ever.

MK told Wukong of his old sworn brother, the Demon Bull King, and the would-be Spider Queen. Two demons who found it in their heads that Megapolis was their city, and neither were keen on sharing. And both seemed to believe that their solution was a secret weapon hidden in Wukong’s vault.

“And we thought— my friends and I— that if we found it first, then they wouldn’t be able to.”

It was a hilarious story. One Wukong made sure to laugh at in MK’s face. Because really, why would either demon think they had the balls to invade his island?

“I’m serious! We need to find it now or else they’ll—“

“Tell me, MK,” Wukong spoke, keeping a bright smile on his face. It was different from the ones MK would share. Less genuine and more senile. “How much do you truly know about me?”

Finding the terror in the mortal’s eyes shouldn’t have been endearing, but Wukong would argue that after receiving plenty, he was open to judge them all. While MK was slow on the uptake on who he was talking to, he was a quick learner in figuring out just how dangerous Wukong could be.

In the end, neither of the demons stepped foot on his island. And if he had to twist their arms a little to ensure there would be no future attempts of them sneaking in, that was between Wukong and them. The fact that a little delivery boy was included in that clause was neither here nor there.

-

The fourth time was when Azure made his appearance on Wukong’s island, smiling and laughing as if none of the past millennia had ever happened. Wukong played a good host to his old brother even while his skin crawled and his little Suns whined. But that all came to pause when out of Azure’s scroll came MK and more of his old brothers.

“So you used him,” he asked, eyes closely watching the mortal shake and tremble (he was mumbling something too but Azure was speaking too loudly).

“We needed someone on the inside in order to retrieve the rest of our brothers. With all of us here and reunited, we can finally put Heaven in their place!”

Wukong tilted his head. “What of the Bull King?”

He watched MK flinch when Azure scoffed, the mortal clutching his robes tighter. He was still in shock, but it would not last long. The new buzz of magic told him as much.

“He has forsaken the cause.” There seemed to be more but MK finally cracked.

“You said we’d free my friends.”

Wukong raised a brow, watching Azure’s careful sigh and friendly smile.

“And we will, but there is something I must do first. You have to understand?”

MK shook his head. “You promised. I’d go in the scroll and free my friends. You said you’d help me—“

“And I will, MK.”

“No you won’t.”

All eyes faced Wukong. He saw as Peng rolled their eyes, ever the dramatic one, but Wukong chose to ignore him.

“Azure is too set on his goal of overthrowing the Emperor that no other task will matter until that endeavor is complete.”

“And we will complete it. Wukong, you are not one to be so glum.”

“A lot has changed.”

“So much that you would turn your back once more to us?”

Wukong watched as MK’s eyes pleaded at him.

“I would.”

-

Given that he was the last one in possession of the missing memory scroll, the Diyu was quick to point their fingers on Wukong and claim MK as his accomplice. How they came to that conclusion was, quite frankly, insane and stupid of them. Wukong told them as much while they placed him on trial.

“And yet there is no other living soul we can find.”

“Well, duh,” he sniffed, keeping MK behind him at all costs, “I killed them all.”

“So you could have it for yourself?”

“Because they threatened my subjects.”

This one king was starting to get on his nerves. All his questions seemed posed to specifically point all attention on MK and Wukong refused to bring any attention to him. He’s not blind, there was obviously something mystical with the mortal. What exactly, he wasn’t sure. He could just hear Macaque lecturing him about it. As if that shadow monkey knew anything! He just spent most of his time trying to steal the attention of Wukong’s subjects like the asshole he was!

“And so why was this mortal involved?”

Again, the same king. He was a strange one, his magic not exactly the same as the others. Wukong was not liking the look of him.

And it turned out his instincts were right. As the trial continued and he asked more questions, the King began to call MK the harbinger, a title MK seemed to recognize and freeze at.

But in the end, none of their words held any good defense. Not that Wukong expected anything different. In fact, he was excited for it. Both the Diyu and Heaven have dreamed of shackling him down once again ever since his first havoc. So, when the chains came to shackle MK as well, Wukong felt he was excused enough to start a little mayhem.

Or a lot.

Actually, a lot, a lot.

It was only a pleasant occurance that Heaven chose to bring Wukong up to their realm and place him before the Emperor. And if said Emperor threatened to erase MK out of punishment of Wukong’s behavior?

Well.

Who is to say that Wukong is not excused from cutting that old goat down to size?

[djarins-cyare]

Held Is The Seed for the fic asks game, please! <3

Hi lovely Caroline! ❤️ Thanks for the ask and sorry it’s taken me a while to get to it. I’m offering a snippet further down as compensation 😇

The title Held Is The Seed comes from a quote by John Harrigan: “Happiness held is the seed, happiness shared is the flower”. There’s no specific line in the fic that refers to it (at least, not yet), but it seemed appropriate because Din has always hunted his bounties alone, whereas in this fic, he’s teamed up with someone else. Still, he keeps himself relatively closed off from her, essentially holding the seed of his happiness close to his chest. It’s only when he fully opens up and shares himself with her (in traditional smutty fanfic fashion 😏) that his happiness has a chance to bloom.

It’s basically a four-part smut-fest. The concept is that they’re in a cantina (separately so as not to appear conspicuous or too threatening) to locate a potential source and get some intel. Reader is bored and drinking, and she gets chatted up by a random guy. He notices that she keeps glancing at the Mandalorian in the corner, assumes he’s got competition, and claims Mandos make poor lovers. Reader vaguely thinks Din is attractive but assumes he’s kind of sexless, but she defends his honour nonetheless and invents a few stories about him to shut her would-be suitor up…

“How would you know?” you challenge. “Maybe there are loopholes. Maybe he can take it off in the dark or if his partner wears a blindfold. Maybe he’s the best damn lay in this bar, and women tell stories about his legendary talent with his tongue. Did you consider that?” With your attention now entirely on Zabrak(ish), you can’t see Mando’s reaction to your somewhat lewd suggestions, but you can imagine he’s probably shocked. The two of you banter occasionally, but you know him to be a sweet guy when he hasn’t got his gruff hunter guise on, and you bet this kind of talk makes him blush. The one time you’d mentioned anything carnal in front of him, he had awkwardly slunk off to the cockpit and hidden for a few hours. You, however, are enjoying the expression on Zabrak(ish)’s face. It’s equal parts annoyed that you’re defending his rival and worried that you might be right and he’s lost the game. Hilarious. You need to press more. Swishing the whiskey in your glass, you take a swig and raise an eyebrow. “You wondered why I was looking at him. Maybe I’ve heard rumours. A Mandalorian in silver armour, the best in the parsec at licking and dicking. Fights well, fucks well.” You risk a glance at Mando and see he has his back to you now and is with a shifty-looking guy who is speaking furtively. The informant. You’re glad he’s distracted, to be honest. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t hear what you’re saying about him. It might reveal your desires, and since you work and live with this man, you shouldn’t complicate things. Zabrak(ish) now seems torn between erupting in anger or collapsing in tears. But emboldened by your success so far and the knowledge that Mando can’t hear, you decide to weave another false scenario to illustrate to this guy why he shouldn’t make assumptions about your partner. “And even if the helmet never comes off, maybe he’s got other talents. Knows exactly how and where to use his fingers to make a woman come in seconds. Talks so deliciously dirty through the modulator that he can get her off without even touching her. Has a huge cock and knows how to use it. And by the way, the whole mysterious armoured warrior thing is seriously attractive. So sorry, pal, you’re outmatched on this one.”

I’m sure you can see where this is going!

Din has, in fact, overheard, and he later offers to prove Reader’s speculations correct one by one. First with just his voice (dirty talk ahoy!), next with his fingers, then with his tongue, and lastly with his dick.

There’s a tiny snippet here from an old WIP challenge post taken from a paragraph near the end of the dirty talk scene. Depending on whether this gets much interest (which I doubt because I’m not tagging anyone), I may post something a little spicier later, but let’s just say Din finds an innovative use for that ridge along his shoulder pauldron… 😳

[upsidedownwithsteve]

I would love any fluff from camp! Steve after he starts his new job and how Hawkins and steve are doing after the whole thing!

“You’re gonna do great.”

Steve swallowed, throat tight and he eyed you, unsure. You were in front of him, running soothing hands over his shoulders and chest, catching pieces of invisible lint from his sweater and when you stopped touching him, Steve wrapped his arms around you instead.

“Yeah?” He asked you, his nose against your forehead, his words ghosting over your cheek. Steve sounded nervous, his hands roaming under your shirt, rough callouses from summers spent in the forest scratching nicely against your skin. “You think?”

“I know,” you promised him. You pushed up onto your toes, catching the corner of his lips in a kiss. Your dog, Molly the border terrier, was lounging at your feet. She pawed at Steve’s shoe, whining, knowing he was leaving without her. “And Hopper knows so too. It’s your first day of a new job, babe, it’s okay to be a little nervous.”

Steve grumbled something into your hair as he leaned in a little more, face finding the crook of your neck and you knew his cheeks were pink, hidden and a little shy. His new sweater was your favourite shade of green on him and he’d gotten his glasses fixed for the occasions, the fold wire frames smushed against your throat.

“I’m not… nervous,” Steve lied. “M’just, I don’t know— it’s different kinds, y’know? It’s not camp.”

There was a beat of silence as you waited for Steve to finish. So you took the moment to slide your arms around his neck, fingers combing through his hair, making sure you didn’t mess it up. His rucksack was on the kitchen table, the lunch you’d made him sitting in a Tupperware box next to it.

“It’s just… what if they don’t like me?”

You laughed, soft and unable to help it, because the notion of kids not liking Steve seemed almost hilarious. Steve huffed at your amusement but you dotted kisses over his cheeks and chin until he stopped complaining. “Steven, Steve. They’re going to love you, okay? I promise.”

The boy pulled back, eyes still worried but tugged at the hem of your shirt, teasing, his smile coming back. “Yeah? You promise?”

You nodded, solemn. “I swear.”

[opiopal]

mc as faph from the interpretation of shadows? Has the ability to see if someone is telling the truth or not? Shadow hands from ears? crackhead?

Ooo I had to do some research for this one!!(which I LOVE doing btw) and honestly this would go so hard, I did take a few creative liberties with this, since I didn’t end up researching as much as I wanted to, but I wanted to hurry and write this out!

but yk who would HATE mc having this kind of ability? Luci, the liar of all liars,

like, imagine the first season just with mc struggling to bite their tongue every time he tells a lie, bc they value their life ofc! but as the days go on they realize slowly that... lucifer cant lay a hand on them. not unless he wants to get in trouble with his little boyfriend.

so they begin making comments. Little comments of just.. them “making sure” they heard him correctly, giving him a chance to tell the truth.. from the outside it just seems as if they didn’t hear him, yet the way they ask puts him off. The way that they bat their eyelashes to try and hide the knowing look in their eyes, the way they carefully cross their arms behind their back as they stare up at him. They know something, and he can tell. And he does NOT like it.

though.. while Luci develops more grey hairs to dye later, mc thinks it’s hilarious. Because most of the time they’ll catch him in the most harmless lie.. well, harmless to the world and embarrassing for him. he came home from a trip to the human world, he claims to have bought a record player but he doesn’t want to show his brothers and Mc because it’s “expensive” and he “doesn’t want them to somehow damage it.” .. in reality it’s covered in cute stickers from some little kid who’s parent owned the record player before hand, Luci thought it was beautiful and figured he’d buy it and clean it off… though he didn’t want anyone to know he bought such a thing.. it was covered in my little pony and rainbow stickers for diavolos sake! And it just always baffled mc! Why lie about it? It’s easy to explain! Sure his son and the youngest may giggle at him, but who cares? He does apparently.

though in the beginning mc immediately learns more then they should have.. it’s hard to keep their mouth shut about the attic or Lilith… but somehow they manage to let it come out on its own. Which internally they are relieved about, they don’t have to pretend to not know who painting is of, or act as if they didn’t know there was an attic in the first place.

and after all the pacts are made and mc becomes apart of the family, they mess with the HOL as often as they can . Casually speaking up and answering questions they saw someone ask in their head and scaring them, “yeah I’m hungry to” “HUH-“ or “you probably shouldn’t buy 10 lottery tickets mams..” “WH-“ or “levi don’t buy that Gacha game it’s a scam.” “W-WHAT😨” Solomon somehow figured out this little ability of theirs right off the bat and decided to help them and keep it hidden. So mc has a blast messing with everyone with some help from Solomon.

maybe s8n&belphie at some point make assumptions and BEG mc to read lucis mind so they can prank him, or mams tries to take mc to a casino to get them to help him win, or levi begs for them to figure out what one of his favorite streamers think about him, or asmo sweetly asking if they could see if that guy from across the room is into him(though the guy CLEARLY is, who wouldn’t be? Asmo is obviously adored by all!!) though mc always shrugs and acts as if they have no idea what they’re talking about! Mind reading?? Are you crazy??? They’re only just human after all! Yet they’ll always act as if they could “tell” what someone is thinking, as if it was written all over the persons face, or they’ll always catch one of the brothers in a lie, claiming it was obvious!

so mc probably has everyone convinced they’re just some mini Sherlock Holmes(which gets s8n all hyped, what a nerd). Until eventually Solomon or even barbatos outs them, either by “mistake” or on purpose. and then all of a sudden it’s the brothers turn to mess with them. Suddenly screaming in their head to spook mc whilst they’re having a rare moment of peace, or repeating the same word over and over again, or luci thinking about assignments they have due to remind them instead of it being verbal like a normal person. Which just causes mc to ramp up their OWN antics.