#I unironically like these episodes. like they can get so bizarre | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

miraculouslbcnreactions · 7 months ago

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Pick One: Magical Girl Show or Rom-com. You cannot be both.

Early in season four we get the episode Gang of Secrets. An episode that ends with Marinette outing her secret identity to Alya. A touching moment that sparked outrage across the fandom because it meant that Marinette had made the choice to reveal her identity to her best friend while keeping her hero partner in the dark.

This choice spat in the face of the exceptions that many fans had for the series. Thousands of pre-season-four fanfics feature moments where Ladybug and Chat Noir promise each other that they'll be the first to know each other's identities. After the Alya reveal, scores of fanfics were written to salt on Marinette's choice to tell the "wrong" person.

Most of these fics feature a betrayed Chat Noir quitting or otherwise punishing Ladybug for breaking their promise to be each other's first, thereby destroying his faith in their partnership. But that promise was never made on screen. It only existed in the realms of fanfic and, when Chat Noir finally found out in canon, his reaction was largely neutral. He never once blamed Ladybug for her choice or pushed for a reveal or even asked for the right to tell one of his friends.

So what happened here? Why did the fans have such wildly unrealistic expectations of canon? Were their expectations even unrealistic or did canon betray them? The answer to that is not as straight forward as you might think because it all comes back to one of Miraculous' many, many, many writing problems: Miraculous is trying to be both a Magical Girl Show and a romantic comedy, but those are not genres that mesh. You can only be one (or you can be a third thing that we'll get to at the end as it's the easiest way to fix this mess, but I want to mostly focus on where the anger is coming from and why the writing is to blame.)

To discuss this mismatch, we're going to do something that breaks my heart and talk about some of Origins flaws. While I love that episode and unironically refer to it as the best writing the show ever gave us, it's not perfect and its flaws are all focused around trying to set up both genres. Do note that I'm going to use a lot of gender binary language here as magical girl shows have a strong focus on gender segregation and rarely if ever acknowledge gender diversity.

Let's Talk Magical Girls

Magical girl shows are shows that center on young women and their friendships. While male love interests are often present in these shows, the boys tend to take a backseat and function primarily as arm candy while the girls save the day and carry the narrative.

A great example of this is the show Winx Club. This show features a large cast of teenage girls who save the magical universe from various threats with their magical powers. Each girl has a love interest, but the boys are usually off doing their own thing and only occasionally show up for a date or to give the girls a ride on their cool bikes or magical spaceship. I don't even think that we see the guys fight or, if we do, it's a rare thing. They are not there to save the day. They are there to be shipping fodder.

Like most magical girl shows, Winx Club starts with the main character making friends with one of the girls who will eventually become part of her magical girl squad. This brings us back to Miraculous.

Did you ever find it weird that Origins implies that Marinette has no friends? She doesn't even have a backbone until new girl Alya shows up to become Marinette's First Real Friend:

Marinette: I so wish I can handle Chloé the way you do. Alya: You mean the way Majestia does it. She says all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing. (pointing at Chloé) Well, that girl over there is evil, and we are the good people. We can't let her get away with it.

This is a bizarre opening because Miraculous is not about Marinette making friends or learning to stand up for herself. If you skipped Origins and just watched the rest of the show, then you'd have no clue that Marinette wasn't close with her classmates before this year. You also wouldn't know that Alya was new in town and you definitely wouldn't know that Marinette had never stood up to Chloé before this year. So why is this here? Why waste screen time setting up elements that aren't actually important to canon?

Miraculous did it for the same reason that Winx Club did it: magical girl shows traditionally start with the main character making friends with at least one of her eventual female teammates because Magical Girl shows are all about the girls and their relationships. The boys are just arm candy.

But Miraculous isn't a magical girl show. The writers have explicitly stated that it's a rom-com and romantic comedies aren't about female friendship. They might have female friendships in them, but that's not where the focus is. The focus of a rom-com is on the romance and Origins is very clearly all about the romance.

Origins as a Rom-com

Origins has a lot on its plate. It has to establish the villain's motivation for the first time, show us how the heroes got their miraculous, show us how the heroes first met on both sides of the mask, show us how they met their respective best friends, and show us how the heroes dealt with their first akuma. It would be perfectly understandable if this 40 minute two-parter didn't do anything with the romance. They have a full show to give us that!

In spite of this, Origins has some incredibly touching moments for both Ladynoir and Adrienette because romance is the heart of Miraculous. It is the main focus of the show. The driving motivation for both of our leads and the majority of the show's episodes. To tell the story of how their journey started without at least one of them falling in love would feel wrong. That's why we see both of them fall in love!

First we get Chat Noir giving his heart to his bold and brilliant lady, then we get Marinette's heart being stolen by the shy sweet boy who never once thought to blame her for her snap judgement of his character. We even get a touching moment where Chat Noir inspires his lady to accept her role and be Ladybug, leading her to boldly face their enemy and call him out:

Roger: I have a new plan, unlike you! Move aside and let the pros do their thing. You've already failed once! Ladybug: …He's right, you know. If I'd captured Stoneheart's akuma the first time around, none of this would have happened! I knew I wasn't the right one for this job… Cat Noir: No. He's wrong, because without you, she'd no longer be here. (they look at Chloe) And because without us, they won't make it, and we'll prove that to 'em. Trust me on this. Okay? Ladybug: Okay.

I love this moment, but it does lose a little of its power when you remember that we had an Alya-driven variation of this exact same thing five minutes prior:

Alya: HELP!! (Marinette suddenly gets filled with courage. She gets the case out of Alya's bag and puts on the Miraculous. Then, Tikki appears, happy to see Marinette again.) Tikki:(raising her arms) Mmmm! Marinette: I think I need Ladybug! Tikki: I knew you'd come around! Marinette: Well, I'm still not sure I'm up for this, but Alya's in danger. I can't sit back and do nothing.

This scene initially confused me because - if Miraculous is a rom-com - then why would you make Alya the reason that Marinette became Ladybug? Why wouldn't you have Chat Noir be the one in danger so that Marinette chose to fight because of her love interest and then encourage that bond with the later scene of him encouraging her? Why split the focus like this? Why give Alya so much attention?

In case you haven't figured it out, it's because Origins is trying to establish two different genres of show. Two genres that will continue to fight for the rest of the series (or at least the first five seasons).

Magical Girls Vs Rom-com

Why is Alya the one to shake off the nightmare dust and inspire the others during the season five finale? Why is Alya the one that Marinette trusts with all of her plans while Chat Noir is kept in the dark? Why does Alya and Marinette's friendship get so much more focus than Adrien and Nino's? Why was Alya the only temp hero who got upgraded to full time hero?

It's because Alya is Marinette's second in command in a magical girl show and magical girl shows focus on female friendships while the boys are just there to be cute and support the girls.

Why do most of Marinette's talks with Alya focus on Adrien? Why is Chat Noir the only other full time holder of a Miraculous for the first three seasons and then again for the final season? Why do Marinette's friends become more and more obsessed with Adrienentte as the show goes on? Why is the love square's identity reveal given so much more narrative weight than any other identity reveal?

It's because Miraculous is a rom-com and the love square is our end game couple, so of course the story focuses on their relationship above all else!

Are you starting to see the problem?

Circling back to our original question: no, it was not unreasonable for the fans to expect that the Alya reveal would have massive negative consequences for Ladynoir. That is what should happen in a rom-com and Miraculous is mainly written like a rom-com. But the writers are also trying to write a magical girl show and, in a magical girl show, Alya and Marinette's friendship should be the most important relationship in the show, so it makes perfect sense that the show treats the Alya reveal as perfectly fine because the Alya reveal was written from the magical girl show perspective.

When it comes to Miraculous, if you ever feel like a writing choice makes no sense for genre A, re-frame it as a thing from genre B and it suddenly makes perfect sense which is fascinatingly terrible writing! It's no wonder there are people who hate the Alya reveal and people who will defend it with their life. It all depends on which genre elements you've picked up on and clung to. Neither side is right, they've both been set up to have perfectly valid expectations. Whether those expectations are valid for a given episode is entirely up to the mercurial whims of the writers!

How Do We Fix This Mess

At this point, I don't think that we can, the show is too far gone, but if someone gave me the power to change one element of Miraculous, that element would be this: scrap both the magical girl stuff and the rom-com stuff and turn Miraculous into a team show where the friendships transcend gender.

At this point, I've written over a quarter of a million words of fanfic focused on these characters (the brain rot is real) and one thing I've discovered is that it is damn near impossible to keep Adrien and Alya from becoming friends. They're both new to their school while Marinette and Nino have gone to the same school for at least a few years. Alya and Adrien are both obsessed with Ladybug plus Adrien is a natural hype man who loves to support his friends and Alya loves to talk about her blog. Alya is dating Adrien's best friend. On top of that, Alya, Adrien, Nino, and Marinette are all in the same class, meaning that they pretty much have to be spending time together five days a week unless French school don't give kids a chance to socialize or do group projects. If so, then judging them for the first issue, but super jealous of the latter.

Given all of that, why in the world is does it feel like Alya is Marinette's close friend while Adrien is just some guy who goes to Alya's school? Along similar lines, while canon Marinette barely talks to Nino, I've found that Marinette and Nino tend to get along smashingly, especially if you embrace the fact that they have to have known each other for at least a few years.

If you embrace this wider friendship dynamic and scrap the girl squad, replacing it with Alya, Adrien, Marinette, and Nino, then the fight for narrative importance quickly goes away. It's no longer a question of is this episode trying to be a magical girl show or a rom-com? Instead, the question is: which element of the friend group is getting focused on today? The romance or the friendship?

A lot of hero shows do this and do it well. I think that one of the most well known examples is Teen Titans. That show has five main characters and the focus is usually on their friendships, but there is a very clear running romantic tension between the characters Robin and Starfire with several episodes giving a good deal of focus to their romance. I'd say that this element really starts in the show's the 19th episode - Date with Destiny - and it all culminates in the movie that capstones the series: Trouble in Tokyo. The character Beast Boy also gets a romance arc and, while it's more short lived, it's further evidence that you can have strong romances and strong friendships in the same show and even the same episode. You just have to own the fact that boys and girls can be friends with each other, a very logical thing to embrace when your show has decided to have a diverse cast of heroes instead of imposing arbitrary gender limitations on its magical powers.

I couldn't figure out a way to work this into the main essay, but it's relevant so I wanted to quickly point it out and give you more to think about re Origins. Have you ever found it weird how Origins gives both Adrien AND Marinette the "I've never had friends before" backstory and yet wider canon acts like Marinette has this strong amazing friend group while Adrien doesn't seem to care about making friends and instead focuses all his energy on romance? Why give both the protagonist and the supposed deuteragonist this kind of origin if it's not going to be a major element of the show? It makes so much more sense to only give one of them this backstory and then focus that person's character arc on learning about friendship.

#ml writing critical #ml writing salt #adrien deserves better #marinette deserves better #alya deserves better #nino deserves better #My queendom for a team show #I was promised a team show!#Why even give the boys powers if you don't want the boys to have screentime?

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tanoraqui · 9 months ago

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Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Kill a Dragon, Rez a Falin

I just like when they're friends like this :)

This, too, is taken from another post, but truly this dynamic is sooo funny of

Chilchuck: I am not a fighter!

Chilchuck, any time he has any sort of ranged weapon: [aims with pinpoint accuracy]

This is just literally that moment in every Miraculous Ladybug episode where everything goes gray and the things Marinette is about to use for a Plan "light up" one by one in red with black spots. Please someone draw fanart of this. And maybe an entire Miraculous Ladybug AU. Yes I think Kabru would have to be Chat Noir - in terms of deuteragonist-ness is SHOULD be Marcille, but she and Laios just doesn't have enough of a bizarre push and pull Dynamic. We need real character foils to pull off that relationship square.

Raw fucking dialogue.

THE PERIODIC ADS ON THIS SITE FOR PRINTING OR CLOTHING OR SHOES REALLY ADD TO THE EXPERIENCE.

Agh agh agh, looking at this, thinking about Namari's explanation of how much body mass you can lose before resurrection gets harder...

Carving this tunnel into the dragon and physically walking in emphasizes how big it was much more than anything we saw while it was alive, and it's sooo cool.

This ad was a great millisecond of cliffhanger, unironically.

These opening pages of the next chapter are so devastating. After all the movement of the fight, this simple layout and minimal dialogue make the grief and horror and just emptiness, emptiness where Falin should be, where hope for Falin should be, ring like a low and broken bell. Driven in just a little deeper by Laios admitting he doesn't know a monsters fact (warg bones vs human bones) - there is helplessness, too. He's just doing the only thing he can, which is so little, in all this terrible caesura.

And then this! Marcille and Laois don't have the messy meatiness of relationship to carry and Miraculous Ladybug love square, but they are JOINTLY the parallel to the Mad Mage, and that's fascinating. They're on the same page here: Laios's "No" isn't just the denial of grief, it's a flat "That's not what we'll do." This is Laios - of course he's already thinking about how the red dragon is perfectly functional meat. As is Marcille, at last 100% in-step with him re: monsters = meat, here in the final steps to save Falin. With magic and drive and an absolute determination to save Falin, they're going to walk hand in hand into the darkness, and if something in their devours them (or their party, or the surface world...) - well, it'll have to beat them first, because throughout this world it's eat or be eaten, and those who want it most, win.

(And it IS fascinating that they do this while, so far as I've seen, basically remaining at the relationship tier of "good friends/in-laws." This isn't Found Family, it's Found Really Good Co-Workers; and I LOVE that.)

THE PARALLEL COMPOSITION AND DIALOGUE TO THE ABOVE SCREENSHOT WHEN LAIOS WENT TO KILL THE DRAGON THOUGH!! I'M FERAL!!!

Obsessed with the decision to frame this as a monster meal.

Blood! In! Hair! Blood! In! Hair! Man, when I saw that post saying this wished this show was in the show, I vaguely assumed her hair had gotten messed up in the fight but she didn't bother to fix it for the ritual; but in fact her hair was braided literally 1 panel ago - she undid that and DELIBERATELY (or at least uncaringly) ran her bloody hand through it.

YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS AS COOL AS THIS PANEL! Oh fuck yeah, eyes went white. That's when you know the magic is awesome.

HUNGER AND EATING AS A SIGN, SYMPTOM, STIPULATION AND SYNECDOCHE OF BEING ALIVE!!!

Alas, but with good okay slightly postponed and belated timing I must now go to bed.

#dm lb #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon

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fortunelowtier · 1 year ago

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I still 100% unironically wholeheartedly believe that this scuffed ass reality tv show from 2007 where CBS stranded 40 children in the middle of the NM desert a la Lord of the Flies is one of the most genuinely fascinating pieces of TV I've ever watched just because of how ABSURD it is on every level

-Their society is a bizarre Communism/Democracy hybrid whose entire economy is based on the barter system

-There is a set class system everyone is sorted into against their will who each get paid more or less money depending on how high or low they are on the ladder, and at the end of each episode they must compete in competitions to decide who gets to be at the top, with the "strongest" being able to get the esteemed title of "upper class"

-Every time they would complete a challenge, at the very end they were given a choice of 2 things that could be added to the town, to which the leaders of the teams would vote on which to get (For example, in one episode they had to choose between fresh produce or 50 pizzas). One of these things was letters from the children's parents, implying that the adults on site were receiving the mail from these kid's parents and deliberately withholding it from them

-In one episode the district leaders of each of the 4 teams (the classes) go out and find a chest full of buffalo nickels (the town's currency), they bring the chest to the town and naturally, this creates unprecedented inflation near instantly, as there's now a mass amount of currency that suddenly appeared in the economy

-Their entire society existed in relative stability until the moment religion was introduced in the form of various religious texts (Bibles, the Quran, etc), after which the town immediately started to go to shit. The Jewish kids and Christian kids were at each other's throats about which religion was """better""" (because they're children who had religion forced upon them at a young age before they were able to think for themselves but that's an entire can of worms I won't open), while the 1 (one) Hindu kid was trying to keep the peace

-At one point the kids start to crave meat, as their food up to that point was mostly canned goods and various produce, so one of the """eldest""" members of the group, (I say """eldest""" because he was still only like 14 or 15) who had worked as a butchers apprentice, took one of their chickens and lead the kids into the desert to where he then taught them how to decapitate, pluck, drain, and cook a chicken.

-One of the kids later did a Reddit AMA about his experience on the show, where he then disclosed various things that happened outside of the camera such as, but not limited to: Oil burns, a kid drinking bleach, scorpions, venomous snakes, an outbreak of herpes, the lack of showers, the lack of multiple toilets (up until I believe a few weeks in they only had one outhouse), etc etc etc

-The parents of these kids allegedly had to sign a 22 page waiver that was basically CBS going "If ur kids get hurt you can't sue us", specifically noting "acts of god" in the contract of things that they weren't to be held accountable for

-At the end of every week, the 4 leaders got together to choose which person would receive that week's "gold star", a star made out of 20,000 USD of solid gold (around 30k after adjusting for inflation), an unfathomable amount of money to give to kids who likely had no concept as to how much money 20 grand was

-The town used for Bonanza City is actually a ghost town/film set located just 20 miles from Santa Fe used as a filming location for movies like A Million Ways to Die In the West (2014) and The Legend of the Lone Ranger (1981). The reason I bring this up is because it's the same film set in which 14 years later, Alec Baldwin would accidentally discharge a firearm on the set of Rust, resulting in the death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins

To anyone asking where to watch this, I genuinely don't know. All of the 13 episodes used to be available on YouTube by someone who re-uploaded them in 2010, but the channel was terminated last year. I've heard that there are a few Google Drive folders floating around that have the raw MP4 files and you could watch them that way but you'd probably have to go digging for it

#tv #television #reality tv #long post

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oblivionbladetd · 3 months ago

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Lily VS. Fandom: [insert that gif of baki shadow boxing here]

While busting Lily's chops about knowing all of great diddly fuck about the Krogan I saw in the transcript she spent a not insignificant portion was dedicated to blaming Fandom... like, wat?

My sister in christ, the fandom can't do shit!

Though this is Lorch we are talking about. So, for the sake of not assuming literally every pair of eyes can peer into my mind and rip the explanations from my living brain, I will go over the how's and why's.

Fandom is... nebulous. It's thousands of people of all creeds tied incredibly loosely by a shared media interest. Sure, it's good to call out harmful trends and individuals, but blaming anything on the fandom might as well dye your hair green and paint your face because you're just unironically shaking your fist and yelling "society!" In your best Heath Ledger impression.

Especially for TV shows. Her claim that Rebecca took the Pink Diamond twist from fans? Well, from scratch through all its phases, it takes about 3-5 years if it has full studio support. The theory gaining wide appeal happened in 2015 from my research... Steven universe came out in 2013, and the reveal in 2018, so they either had their hands on the pulse minute one, or the reveal was created around the release of the first episode. It very much is very believable that it was just the plan all along.

I'll just top this off by saying that trying to talk about anything quality by bringing up fandom is absolutely assuming that fans have more power than they actually do. It is VERY RARE that things are ever bent to the fandoms whims. When it does, it is almost always too little too late simply because production takes so long. Look at all the last minute rep in the voltron Netflix show to give a clue on that.

Lily's hatred of Fandom is frankly bizarre unless you come at it from the stalwart contrarian angle. Which tracks... "The fandom has a problem with -" No Lily, you just don't get the appeal and are firmly rooted in the hollow caverns of your own skull, congradu-fuckin-lations on being so different. Here's your golf clap for being so enlightened.

#lily orchard #lily peet #lily orchard is a bad critic

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yumeirochaser · 1 year ago

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finished all of steven universe (show/movie/shippuden)

okay so stewing on it. this show as a whole is very good. great, even!! i feel like a lot of the criticisms thrown at it online are kinda bullshit, and it is way more nuanced than i remember. it is VERY flawed, but ultimately good.

i'll start with the pros of the whole project:

-really impeccable art direction and music. this show is a feast for the eyes, esp since it's a 2010s project

-very nuanced discussions of complex emotional topics (outside of one big case)

-REALLY good cast, there's only like 3 bad charas, but everyone else is really really good and compelling

-actually really good diverse and lgbt rep. i love yuri fam. we got so much yuri here.

-really good drama and jokes. it's actually very good at balancing both tones

-brisk and nice to watch

-REALLY good complex characters. rose/pink is unironically one of the tragic toxic woman all timers

-the songs rule. lotta bangers here

-i love the character designs a lot!!!!

so yeah it is VERY good!! but also really flawed. here's the cons:

-really bizarre show pacing and episode placing, which tbh i can't blame too much on them bc it WAS CN's fault for making the insane idea of stevenbombs

-the fuck it we ball planning is REALLY apparent at times

-the wide majority of the cast is very underfocused, despite the show constantly setting them up to have bigger roles. i would say the quartet of jasper/bismuth/lapis/peridot were the most prominent victims of this, but it's in general since it is the result of...

-steven himself being a VERY weak lead, with the insistence of everything being in his POV limiting the show and contriving plots more than anything. he is in fact imo, the show's biggest flaw, severely hurting it by the end of future. they really struggle with making him likeable and interesting, and the way the show insists to focus on him makes a lot of major character beats depend on him being on screen or just. happen completely off screen. certain plots also get REALLY convoluted to have him in places and private situations he really shouldn't be in for us to actually see what happens to other characters at all. he's also very one note and not really allowed to be as complex as the rest of the cast, with him constantly being exonerated of any wrong thing he does, by either being right all along or a woobie. this does get real uncomfortable with plots like the lars body swap ep, the lars/sadie ship eps and the entire second half of future bc. he gets reaaaal weird and possessive with the rest of the cast there and it's more or less glossed over. he also kind of is limited to One personality trait per season, being one walking fat joke in S1, fluctuating between funy permachild and messiah complex guy in the rest of the main show and the movie and becoming just walking whump material in future. it's weird bc he DOES improve and develop in S2, esp with the peridot arc, but then they more or less reverse his development for the rest of the show after the cluster arc ends??? it's a bizarre choice. his presence really looms over this show, like a black hole. like conceptually he's really good and he has moments where he can shine, but his execution in the majority of the show is very poor imo. like i get what they wanted to do with him in future and i agree it's a necessary topic to discuss. but also they should have made him like. an actual character people would like for that to work lmao

related to this we gotta talk about. connie. man. she was hit with the shonen jump love interest stick since very early on and she never recovered. her training arc kinda ends on nothing, she kind of only is there to fuse into stevonnie a bunch of the time (with their uh. weird ass early eps. why fanservice the little kid fusion.) and she more or less is just reduced to being steven's loyal emotional support woman by the end of future. honestly it's weird how nobody talks about the way she is treated bc it's oddly bad for a show that usually treats its diverse charas really well. like damn she really got done dirty.

but yeah i wish we were able to have eps with the rest of the cast leading bc they are really good characters. i think my faves are garnet (she actually got focused on the most out of all gems, which i don't really see fans mention either. she's great), rose (she's so fucked. i love it.), amethyst (more femmes should be allowed to be gross weird assholes in tv.) and peridot (rancid moe...). but i love all the gems they are great. the townies are also really fun!! (outside of ronaldo & kevin). i wish we could have actually seen more of the cast's lives, thoughts and interests outside of steven...i just really like these characters a lot

it's kind of a shame the show kinda goes down the gutter with future's second half bc the majority of it is really good shit with really nuanced handling of themes like chains of abuse, unorthodox families, familial abuse, trauma, abandonment, war and grieving. i legit think this show was something special and bold for its time, and i wish it ended in a better way. i had a really good time with it and i still love the cast a lot, but yeaaah they shouldn't have turned steven into the center of the universe. that really hurt it by the end. it's a good show that left me with a really weird feeling by the end. i will still cherish the time i had with it but yeaaah. it is a shame bc i really dig the concept of future, but the execution was like ehhhhhh hmmm not very good. the rest of the show clears in these topics tho we love screwed up girls. objectively tho there is way more good aspects to this show than good ones. it's just that the one big bad thing it has is the main focus of the whole dealio lmao

i wish future didn't screw up at the end but i am glad this show exists and it did pave the way for other shows! so at least there's that!! i will miss the crystal gems and their funky friends a lot....

#stuff happa watches #not tagging the show bc i don't wanna be jumped lmao

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verawhisk · 3 years ago

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HI I AM RETURNING YOUR ASK!!!

fav fighters and why??????? go into so much detail tell me everything i am a preteen girl laying on her stomach swinging my legs :))

*cracks knuckles disgustingly* sorry this is gonna be really long and formatted like a buzzfeed article pls brace yourself and get a nice hot drink to sip on

el cucuy: lean, a little bit mean, definitely screams

(tuf 13 finale)

i first discovered tony through the ultimate fighter compilations and i instantly related to him because i’m also a non-white kid who grew up in a country ass town of fuckville, nowhere and got teased by my white classmates for it. clearly he had a rough childhood but i like to think that everything he’s been through has made him a stronger and wittier fighter. i unironically consider him one of the toughest and smartest in the game--which is weird because most people are chomping at the bit to call him stupid or cringe, but i stand by it!!

(tony OBLITERATING michael at the ufc 262 pre-fight press conference)

obvi his fighting style is super exciting to watch too. his spinning shit is top tier and i love that he has this edgy yet fun-loving personality where like. he’ll rip a guy’s arm off but he’ll do it with a smile on his face lol. it’s just very endearing to me for some reason.

(ufc 229: tony ferguson vs. anthony pettis)

also: least important of all the points but he's soo funny and i feel like if he were my age i'd just be in love with him?? i'm just so drawn to bizarre and lighthearted people LOL he's so friggin cute.

(ufc 216 embedded: vlog series - episode 4)

nick diaz

(elitexc: nick diaz vs mike aina)

my emo boy, my cesar gracie jiu jitsu black belt, my one and only (jk he would never) nick diaz!! now i’m not gonna lie it’s a lot harder for me to squeal about nick because he’s said multiple times that he doesn’t like fighting; it’s just what he does. the list of things he actually seems to care about include his family (most notably nate),

(ufc 266: espn interview with brett okamoto)

doing triathlons, and teaching jiu-jitsu and it tears me up inside that he fights because he feels pressured by the ufc and the fans. he’s even said multiple times that he started fighting to protect himself from other kids when he was in high school.

i feel conflicted because his “you-gotta-do-what-you-gotta-do” attitude is the reason why i love him so much, but it’s the same reason he keeps fighting (and suffering while ufc executives make money off of him)….

(ufc 47: backstage interview)

i guess the most appropriate thing i can fangirl about is his almost childlike bluntness and how much he hates the fame and the press. apparently he once rejected a sponsorship deal (that probably would have made him a lot of money) because he thought the product was ‘the stupidest fucking thing he'd ever seen in his life’. he also straight up said at a press conference for him vs. gsp that the ufc was "selling wolf-tickets" (aka lying to hype up the fight) like… RIGHT in front of dana lmao

if it were like the early 2000s i would definitely go on about how hot and fine he is, but given that he’s past his prime (through no fault of his own, he had 5 years of his career stolen from nsac for smoking weed) and signed to a fight promotion that doesn’t care about him, all i want is for him to retire peacefully and to be able to do what he wants :(

(dream 3: nick diaz vs katsuya inoue. hehe look at him bowing)

whenever people talk about nick’s fighting style, they always default to "he's got an iron chin, he's got endurance, and he talks a lot of shit" but he's also a jiu-jitsu practitioner who can be very respectful? he helps opponents up after fights (lifted frank shamrock from his feet and called him a legend) and even expresses remorse when he seriously hurts them (accidentally dislocated joe hurley's arm, immediately released him, and couldn't stop checking on him even though he just won) and like. idk. it makes me mad. he's actually so intelligent and polite and i wish more people would focus on that..

the highlight: an mma fighter for jesse pinkman enjoyers

(ufc fight night 135: pre-fight interview)

LOL obvious answer incoming. it’s justin gaethje!! now out of all the fighters i like, i think my love for him might be the most superficial 😭 i just find his face and body and whole demeanour so cuuute like?? his red hair? his big blue eyes? his cute little lip scar that he got from a headbutt (of course he did)? the fact that he seems so incredibly one-brain-celled almost every time he speaks? gaethje is a cage fighter with the bone density of a gorilla, but uhhh he's also kind of.... babey.

(wsof 34: justin gaethje vs. luiz firmino ROLLING THUNDERR WOOOOO!!!!!!)

but ofc the most important thing about a fighter is their fighting!! my favourite thing about gaethje’s style, weirdly enough, is how light and bouncy he is. i can’t think off the top of my head of any other fighters that have this weird quality?? it's how he’s able to apply lots of pressure on his opponents but also spin super-fast like a top whenever he needs to; like in the middle of a fight he'll go from kicking legs like he's 200 pounds to doing spinning shit like he's 125. idk it's crazy, i don't know how it works and i probably never will, but i just find that really fascinating

(ufc 209 embedded: vlog series - episode 3)

aand thats it!! phew you're finally free lol. i do love the other lightweights and some of the welter/middle/heavyweights but these three are my absolute favs so far! granted i've only watched like a portion of the ufc archive and i've yet to really explore anything else like one or bellator even though i really should--not to mention all the current ufc happenings. i'm pretty out of the loop but uhh you know i'm just a girl watching some cage fights and that's it really <3

anyways i hope you had fun reading this :> agghghhgh thank you for asking me back WOO

#ufc #mma #should i tag all of them. should i.#nyeah i'll do it #tony ferguson #nick diaz #justin gaethje #(all my favs are mexican LETS GOOO 🇲🇽🏆)#wsof #elitexc #dream mma #long post #i wrote most of this during my breaks lmaooo #imagine me writing frantically in my notes app bc i have no internet #a day in the life ladies and gents !!#I'M HAPPY TO THOUGH #my heart started beating faster when i thought about this outside of my break #i was like remember that you get to write an answer to that question and my heart was like WHOA

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plesiosaurchestra · 3 years ago

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As promised, here is my analysis on Nyan~ Neko Sugar Girls.

Before reading, please be aware that the show touches on sensitive subject matter, such as death, illness, abuse, toxic relationships, Stockholm syndrome, and sexual assault.

Nyan~ Neko Sugar Girls, a series created by Yoli-chan from SoapOpera46 on YouTube, has long been a subject of debate among internet users. While at first it seems ridiculous that the creation a show that looks like it was made in MSPaint is still being debated today, the more you analyze the situation the more bizarre the series gets.

The main debate that rose from Nyan~ Neko Sugar Girls’ creation, is whether or not the series was made poorly as a joke, or if it was a genuine attempt at making a fanime. It is my personal belief, that the series was made by Yoli-chan as a joke. While advice for either side of the argument is few and far between, I believe I’ve found more evidence in favor of the series being a parody. Most damning is the fact that Yoli-chan didn’t use her trademark anime-esque typing quirks until she uploaded the first episode of Nyan~ Neko Sugar Girls in 2010.

I also feel like it’s worth mentioning a certain joke in episode three, in which Hitoshi-san was about to say that they lived in America before correcting himself. In the context of this show being made unironically, this would make no sense because in the video they draw a lot of attention to Hitoshi saying this by adding an American flag in the background but in the context of this being made as a joke it makes a lot more sense. Most likely Yoli-chan is poking fun at her supposed surface level understanding of life in Japan.

So I lead myself to the conclusion that Yoli-chan is satirizing...something, but I was unsure as to what she is satirizing exactly. I formed a list of various anime genres she might be parodying, such as shoujo, harem, ecchi, and drama. I was originally going to write about how the series is meant to be satirizing the anime fanbase as a whole, but I ended writing myself into a corner with that one. So I went back to harems, an idea I had originally only written down to fill space, an idea that I overlooked. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made.

Our protagonist oddly enough, isn’t Raku-chan. The true protagonist is actually Hitoshi-san. Harem animes tend to focus on the love interests rather than the main character, so there’s no problems there. The true problem lied in Hitoshi-san himself, who was far too interesting to be a generic harem protagonist (it’s a low bar to reach). He’s charismatic, emotional, flirty, and a jokester which are all very rare traits for a protagonist in the genre to have. In the context of a genre deconstruction however, these traits make a lot more sense. Hitoshi deconstructs the stereotypical generic protagonist in his introduction scene.

Before he is introduced, the only other time that we see him is in the opening, and compared to the other girls his appearance is a bit more generic. Unlike Raku and Koneko -who are shown walking and having their hair dramatically flow in the wind- Hitoshi just awkwardly bobs up and down. He wears a black shirt and blue jeans, and lacks any notable features like cat ears or a tail. We don’t think much of him, but he’s likely going to be important judging by his presence in the theme song. During the episode after Raku-chan and Koneko-chan finish eating, Raku’s head quickly darts over her shoulder and she exclaims: “Koneko-chan! Look at that guy over there! He’s so sugoi!” This is where we are properly introduced to Hitoshi-san, who wastes no time (awkwardly) flirting with the girls and delivering his signature catchphrase. From this Raku-chan falls in love at first sight and we know that he is by no means a vanilla protagonist. This leaves us with one other question though, if Hitoshi-san is the protagonist, then who is Raku-chan?

Raku-chan is supposed to be a character who can be described a number of different ways: the Betty, the nice girl, the girl next door, the childhood friend, but I feel that a phrase that encompasses all of these is “The First Girl”. In harem animes and the romance genre as a whole, the first girl serves as a base template and a set-up for potential subversions. She’s likely a neighbor or a childhood friend -or at least someone who acts like one of those things-. From a grab-bag of traits she can be kind, energetic, playful, intelligent, honest, and upstanding. She cares about the protagonist like a friend, but secretly she wants more. Most importantly, it’s unlikely that she will end up with the protagonist in the end.

Since episode one -other than her loud voice- her most notable trait was her hopeless infatuation with Hitoshi-san. As strange as she may be, she fits plenty of the tropes she’s kindhearted and acts like an old friend to Hitoshi despite them just meeting. The love part’s pretty obvious, and so is the rejection. She falls in love with Hitoshi, only for him to end up with Bokutachi instead. I’ll get to how she’s a subversion, but first I have to talk about Bokutachi-san himself.

Bokutachi-san is the closest the series ever gets to having a true ��villain”. He kidnaps Hitoshi-san and talks about his intentions to “have his way” with him. After Hitoshi-san is saved by Koneko-chan and Raku-chan, Hitoshi-san seems to suffer from some form of Stockholm syndrome which caused him to fall in love with his captor. This would eventually lead to Hitoshi-san rejecting Raku-chan’s love confession, which leads to her untimely death which Bokutachi then mocks Hitoshi with. Oh yeah, Raku-chan dies, of a broken heart to be specific. Before this we were lead on to believe that she was going to die from either rabies or a neko demon. Needless to say the entire series gets very strange after Raku-chan gets rabies from a squirrel.

There are a lot of parallels between tropes found in harem anime and Nyan~ Neko Sugar Girls, but what does it all mean? What’s Yoli-chan trying to say? My guess is that she’s trying to satirize toxic relationships being used as plot devices in the romance genre. Here’s how:

1. Raku-chan is established as an angelic archetype of sorts. She’s innocent, loves Christmas, and her possession by the neko demon causes her to grow angelic bird wings instead of reptilian wings that you’d expect from a demon. (Not to mention that after her death the normal end credits song is replaced Koneko-chan singing Last Christmas)

2. Bokutachi-san is the villain and an abusive partner. He starts the conflict of the anime, kidnaps and ties up Hitoshi-san, and intended to assault him.

3. Hitoshi-san inexplicably falls in love with Bokutachi-san in spite of the abuse and trauma he went through.

4. Raku-chan (the angel) dies due to Hitoshi-san choosing to stay with his abuser.

Did Yoli-chan intend for this series to be interpreted in such a way? Probably not, but it’s certainly quite a strange coincidence considering how a bunch of this fits together.

#ampere.txt #nyan neko sugar girls #analysis

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reynie-muldoons · 2 years ago

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"Free of Pointless Commands" liveblog!

It's finally time!! My period's been leaving me feeling like garbage, but I'm on the upswing now. It's time for blorbo from my shows.

As always, spoilers under the cut :)

Before I even start the episode I want it on the record that I read the episode description and the bit about Constance "using her gift". PLEASE let this be the necklace from the book PLEASE I am BEGGING

0:14 I unironically love these recaps

1:08 "car 15" this dude is definitely in cahoots 🥴

1:16 HAHA GET HIM REYNIE

1:34 "your accent insults the nation" LMAO CONSTANCE WHAT

1:40 why are you saying this out loud WHY DO THEY DO THIS SO MUCH

1:52 I like how they call them "the greys", it has a good ring to it lol

1:59 "they'll probably take us back to where mr benedict and number two are" okay valid

2:01 "the same grays who tried to brain sweep me?" OKAY VALID

2:44 I dont know this man's mother but I love her 😂

NOO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE OPENING

Okay I rewound LMAO. In this house we dont skip intros unless they really suck

4:27 why does kate know what non-liquid assets are 😂😂

4:53 if that spyglass is also a kaleidoscope I would actually scream

4:59 "I'll take the whole bucket" buddy that is a price far too high

5:16 baby girl, what's up

5:23 🥺🥺🥺 please dont let that be a necklace from mr b

5:54 I love these girls so much

6:32 "I dont know. I'm hungry." No worries bb we all get hangry

6:36 whaaaat was that face connie girl

6:38 "Constance, what's wrong?" REYNIE NOTICED TOO

6:48 fucking christ how does she know

6:54 shit. SHIT.

7:01 okay it's time for fucking PAIN bc sure he's happy and carefree and will probably eat and sleep better but this is synthetic bullshit that isnt doing anything good for him in the long run and I'm feeling a lot of things about it

7:07 "My." Shut up you pretentious dickhead

7:15 all that flexing can't possibly be compensating for something, can it? Hmmm?

7:26 kiss ass. A kiss ass with a long standing grudge and too much pride.

7:30 "I'm so proud of you" NO

7:34 "...and almost bizarrely happy" okay so he's aware that it's strange

7:46 stop being manipulative challenge (impossible)

8:03 curtain is the sort of guy who very obviously peaked in high school and talks about how much he loved it way too much

8:34 "it's your associate.. she seems to have your ear, and she doesn't strike me as particularly joyful." ohhhhh, so that's his angle. I'm so glad she got out when she did

8:45 "the way I feel now, anything seems possible" this shit is so creepy, like a hivemind

8:53 there's our girl!!!

9:24 "....👌🏼 I'm over-parenting" LMAO IM DEAD

9:42 okay but where did Miss Perumal go

9:51 RHONDA DONT LEAVE HER BEHIND

10:12 "we won't be putting her in a dangerous situation where she wont be able to-" *Miss Perumal rides in on a moped like a badass* YOU WERE SAYING????

10:29 daaamn, she knows her stuff!

10:56 "did you hot wire this? 🧐" "there are things you dont know about me 😐" SGHDJDJD THIS EXCHANGE

11:04 YES Milligan in the sidecar 😂😂😂

11:43 "Constance has the gift" Constance: 😳 please tell me she didnt barter the gift away for their taxi fare

12:29 NO SHE REACHED FOR HER NECK, IT WAS THE NECKLACE

12:38 Awwwwww

12:43 "now, make a wish." "I wish to be free of pointless commands." ROLLLL CREDITS

13:06 AWWW they definitely missed Rhonda's birthday by now then 🥺 the two of them are so sweet. What a funny fucking gift too

13:13 "it will be tough to outdo this, but I enjoy a challenge" have I mentioned I love them

13:15 they are about to saw the cake in half LMAOOOO

13:28 oh my gosh constance backstory. CONSTANCE BACKSTORY.

13:34 "I'm fine." Oh sweetheart, my baby girl, she was so quick to deny but you KNOW bbg is messed up about it

13:47 "this is my home. I'm fine." brb sobbing

14:06 NOOOO 😭😭

14:10 AWW ITS A SEASHELL

14:17 AND IT HAS A PEAAAARL

14:44 "Kate would fall apart without her bucket" true

15:07 two things:

1. There's another one now???

2. Neither of them are smiling anymore

Okay I lied three things, 3. J&J are doing this in secret, without Curtain knowing. J&J redemption arc????

15:29 "I dont see the problem" then congratulations on being blind

15:44 there you go jill!!!

15:52 "is he currently in a good mood?" LMAO DUDE

16:12 "just... find them a doctor" good fucking luck with that

16:28 "every time. Unwanted tomato." I sympathize, I also do not like tomatoes on my sandwiches

16:29 well that's just wasteful

16:32 LMAO I DIDNT EVEN SEE THEM THERE

17:11 oh my gosh is she about to trade her bucket? The whole thing???

18:07 daaaamn they're so sneaky

18:24 the performance of a lifetime 😂😂😂

18:48 good job but please get out of there while you can

19:16 my love I am so glad you went to the authorities but unfortunately they are the authorities, the justice system fails more people than they dont

19:34 "your claim is nonsensical." "You malign a good man." And there it is.

19:55 "someone's finally at the wheel" THE QUOTE FROM THE FIRST SEASON. 'LIKE NO ONE'S AT THE WHEEL'. SHDJFHDHJD

20:04 "you sound like someone who could, frankly, use some time in dr curtains program" that's fucking terrifying

20:06 "compulsory or not" that's fucking terrifying

20:27 please I'm begging you call Rhonda

20:28 SHIT I FORGOT THEYRE NOT THERE

20:32 THATS THE ONLY NUMBER SHE HAS FOR THEM, SHIT

20:43 noooo they're out of gas

21:10 the POSE 😂

21:12 AND THE RUN HAHAHAHA. WHY DOES HE RUN LIKE THAT

21:22 they're so confused LMAOOO

21:29 what in the hell is happening here

21:30 oh. Okay 🤪

21:57 he is learning so much from Miss Perumal. I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH

22:40 the pearl can just be taken out of the shell like that? What's kept it from falling out up until now?

22:44 IT IS THE GLOBE AFTER ALL 😭😭😭

22:57 off to Germany then, but that's incredibly vague

23:17 "Curtains men could show up any second" damn right they could

23:21 speak of the devil and he shall appear

23:24 oooh and theres a couple of them now!!! Exciting

23:32 *breath* "I'd like a receipt please" why did that make me laugh

23:38 okay but what the fuck is happening

23:41 "hnnnng what's happening?" GSHAHHAHA MY QUESTION EXACTLY DUDE

23:48 *walking in aimless circles giggling* this is me when I'm drunk

23:53 oh my god she did come back I KNEW SHE WOULD BREAK OUT JUST TO BREAK BACK IN

24:01 poor number two 🥺 she looks so freaked out.

24:01 Someone please give this woman a hug and some anxiety medication

24:11 the pure euphoria in "my brother has pie trucks?? :D"

24:23 "they're ALL cult of Curtain" okay but cult of Curtain is a great way to describe this

24:23 I really hope his cringe isnt for her wording even though I totally know it is WHEN WILL THE OTHER SHOE DROP

24:47 "what's there to smile about" kinda rude but yeah he's literally giggling at her

24:49 HIM TRYING TO BE SERIOUS AND FAILING 💀

24:54 that eye narrow. She knows.

25:01 "and of course our current status" "kidnapped. Status: kidnapped." She is the sole voice of reason

25:05 THAT EYE WIDEN. SHE KNOWS.

25:09 the quiet "oh no" GOOD LORD THE QUIET REALIZATION. There has to be at least one fic that will be written about this scene alone.

25:33 "this incredible newfound joy is not going to influence my ability to do what is right" okay two things:

1. I do not believe you

2. It will stop you if your body shuts the fuck down??? I mean they dont know about that but still

25:39 SHE HAS HER HEAD IN HER HANDS. SHE COULDNT BE MORE STRESSED

26:25 "there's no conventional reason for this, this... vacancy" okay the word vacancy makes it seem one thousand times more sinister holy shit

26:29 oh good lord another one

26:29 also I'm pretty sure this shot is the one from the trailer, we all thought it was that prof from season 1

26:58 "kate, do you have a pen?" "Do I have a pen?" The SASS

27:18 PALINDROME, GERMANY. 10/10.

27:24 her visible disappointment that there is no city specifically named Palindrome has me giggling

27:50 PLAN SHAKE AND BAKE 😂😂

28:00 noooo no no no the adults got there just barely too late. AGAIN.

28:11 at least the kids will actually have tickets this time, it's a lot harder to hide on a train

28:17 watch that be some random passenger with her hair like that

28:24 called it

28:32 okay she looks so precious in that yellow coat. So freaking cute

28:40 NOTHING but air hahahaha

28:43 well shit, the polo team is a problem. It's like I said earlier, it's a lot harder to hide on a train

28:55 oh shit, they arent working with the greys? Or maybe Curtain did plant them and the two parties just dont know each other?

28:58 okay gang maybe stop shoving your faces in the very visible window

29:13 "disgrace to the sport." the pure DISDAIN

29:29 "couple of broken ribs, maybe a dislocated shoulder, but we'd live!" Why do I have the feeling these are injuries someone will attain

29:39 STOP I WAS GOING TO COMMENT ON CONSTANCE AND STICKY'S EXCHANGE BUT I PAUSED ON A GOLDEN SCREENCAP 😂😂😂 HOLD UP

look at that FACE

30:01 she looks like such a gremlin holding the whistle like that 😂

30:06 AWWWW Reynie fell asleep on him 🥺

30:14 what's on your mind bb boy, it's not your shift but you're wide awake

30:22 daaamn. that time of night is that time where it could be super late or super early, depending how you look at it

30:30 "you haven't slept. Why not?" A valid ass question

30:50 "you havent prepared yourself" valid! He needed the rest to be alert enough to keep watch

31:19 oh now he's sleepy. I can relate though- I used to work shifts in that late/early time of night while I was in college, and I would never be able to get to sleep before my shifts, but I would be dead tired while I was supposed to be working. It's a vicious cycle

31:31 okay the fact that it faded out and faded back in so many times makes me think either the rest of them were taken, or that their situation is drastically more dangerous somehow

31:59 NO NO NO NO NO

31:59 WHERE IS SHE. WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY BABY GIRL

32:12 DAMNIT. of COURSE they would end it there.

Part of me thinks that Constance will be in the bathroom or something super mundane, and she'll have some snarky remark about how she can handle herself. Every other part of me is thinking the obvious, implied, and very unfortunate circumstance 🥴

What a fantastic episode. I cant wait to think about it for the next 3 days straight.

#mbs disney+#the mysterious benedict society #mbs liveblog #free of pointless commands #charity's talkies

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 4 years ago

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the wolf should’ve been afraid of me.

Titans 3.04

just under the wire! ... i hope.

like with the previous review, i’m typing this up as i see the episode. here we go!

spoilers ahead.

1. ... well. that was an interesting cold open.

1.25. i don’t know whether to admire this show’s restraint when it comes to gotham and its excesses, particularly arkham asylum. it’d be easy to go hammer and tongs, like suicide squad (2016) did, or any number of bat media did, at a tropey, colourful~~insanity~~ that can be quite damaging, casting mental illness in strangeness and criminality. it definitely shows gotham as... separate from the rest of the country, its own ecosystem of heroes and villains, a sort of rogue state.

but that ecosystem is still human, with its heroes needing to clip parts of themselves away just to survive, growing old and needing to be recycled, its villains languishing in the same kinds of systems that fail everybody else who needs to be helped. it’s a quieter, tenser sort of wrongness: not strange enough that you can dissociate, but not close enough that you can completely empathise. gotham is its own creature.

1.5. i know that the reasoning behind this is more doylist than anything, but i’m so glad that joker was killed off with little fanfare right at the start of the season. he is the one man in the batverse that’s transcended its confines as this sort of ethereal boogeyman/eternal edgelord and to justify his presence in the series would mean giving him this tired, overblown importance and too much of a stab at colourful, tropey “madness” in this otherwise-subdued series. i wish all batmedia would follow suit and get rid of this fucker.

1.75. so jason is bucking scarecrow’s control! or reminding him of who exactly holds all the cards right now. circling back to what i talked about in the last review, it’s remarkable just how little time it’s been since jason’s “death” and he’s already got ‘minions’ and elaborately set up plans to track, break and kill the titans. just how long has he been planning this? when did he first look at WE weapons prototypes and think that’s something i can use to blow somebody up? and the most unsettling question: did he plan his own death at the hands of the joker just so that he could break batman?

at this point it’s obvious that the scarecrow at least started jason down this path, but it’s frightening just how far he’s travelled already.

1.8. aaagh, less than one minute in! i’ll shut up.

2. conner washing his hands at the sink reminds me that he was directly in the line of explosion when hank got blown up and he’s probably got atomised hank-bits all over his skin that he’s desperately trying to wash off.

... you’re welcome.

2.25. conner, don’t you speak to gar fucking logan like that, sir, no!

2.3. if anything it’s the lex part of him that gave him the knowhow to recognise the weapon and build a de-activator for it.

anyway, for that ‘half-breed’ and ‘talking tiger’ comment?

(i wish, tho, that we actually see conner more interested in the superman part of his legacy, like maybe listening to stories from gar, or even better, dick, so we get a better idea of the pressure he’s feeling to live up to that part of him and not the part that’s lex.)

((i talked about conner’s stages of moral development in his introductory episode last season, but i wonder if the next stage of his self-actualisation would be to further integrate the parts of himself and realise that they are only parts and he, conner, is an entirely different person unto himself that can make decisions on how to use what he has and what he knows. his superman abilities can be used to destroy. his lex knowledge can be used to save.))

3. oh dawn :((

3.25. is this the last we see of dawn and hank? i mean, we know donna is coming back; would it be a stretch to think they’ll try to have a go at resurrecting hank as well?

3.5. “deathstroke didn’t make us into killers.” good, because deathstroke didn’t make jason a killer either. there’s a missing step there you need to be looking for, dick.

3.75. dick did try to break the cycle, step away from gotham, run from the possibility that he could turn into batman. it didn’t help; he couldn’t fully withdraw from his vigilante persona the same time he loathed it, and batman literally haunted him both asleep and awake. but maybe gotham doesn’t have to turn anybody into anything. maybe gotham has nothing to do with it at all. it’s about taking responsibility, realising some sacrifices are pure bullshit, and building an actual family instead of merely a team.

anyway: hugs!

(oh, also? mr “i hate flying”? i mean, there’s perfectly valid reasons to hate flying that’s not related to childhood trauma, but then again, this guy was literally a ‘flying grayson’ once. also also, remember that he also gets sea-sick. must’ve a lot of fun stories to tell.)

4. ooh that gar/kory confrontation was brief but cool!

listen, i have never seen a psychiatrist with that extravagant an office and SIR I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW--

4.5. kory’s so unused to reaching out for help and it’s breaking my heart that HPG likely is some kind of impostor that’s maybe causing her symptoms in the first place.

kory and dick have mostly been apart this season but it’s remarkable how their journeys have paralleled each other; kory processes her grief, isolation and existential dread into a determination to take care of this new family she has, no matter what it takes; dick does much the same, forging ahead with plans and solutions until he has no fuel left in him and spirals into a massive breakdown.

4.25. listen titans this really is a TERRIBLE continuity error. we aren’t goldfish; we can clearly remember that two minutes ago it was gar’s upper arm that was burned, not his forearm. COME ON.

“sensory deprivation tank” *SNORT*

anyway, gar is the BEST

4.5. i wonder where these visions of experimentation took place. was it on tamaran, or on earth, after she came to hunt down rachel/trigon and before she lost all her memories? is HPG a part of the scientist group that experimented on her? ... god, i hope not. i mean, i think he is, but it would be cool to have some positive therapist representation in media.

5. you’d think the van transporting a dangerous supervillain that only batman could catch would be more secure but... i’m also not entirely surprised.

5.15. i love dick gives ZERO shits about hiding himself or even ensuring scarecrow is adequately contained. just turns away after kidnapping him in BROAD DAYLIGHT and says ‘let’s go’. I LOVE THIS DUMBASS

6. lmao gar is having a really really shitty day SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN A BREAK or just a goddamn story arc of his own

6.5. i’m really confused about the timeline here. so... sometime ago, kory came down to earth to hunt down trigon, yeah? at some further point down the line she and her sister were kidnapped and experimented on. THEN she somehow escapes but... loses her memory? a few months pass and then we see blackfire alive and well and free; she kills faddei, can impersonate other people, and is clearly seeking out kory. but now she’s still in the experiment facility...? what’s going on?

i’m not entirely surprised about the facility being mostly deserted. either the biggest investors in this project gave up on it and it was left to the most fanatic to carry on, or they were deliberately trying to lure kory and get her to free blackfire--expand the environs of the experiment, so to speak.

7. hopefully barbara is going to get something to do other than listen to various men give her Attitude

8. how do you terrorise a terrorist? well:

i love when dick is a scary-competent motherfucker.

8.25. ooooh, the attack on crane at arkham a ploy to get crane to blackgate? nice one dick, i didn’t even think of that. but why though? to protect crane from the titans? to intercept the van to blackgate and “rescue” him? seems likely--red hood was there, except dick got to crane quicker.

9. still reeeallly unclear about the komand’r situation. was komand’r captured after s2? is this all A TRAP?? if so, why are you stepping into the only thing that can contain you, kory????

9.25. so... definite parallels between dick/jason and kory/kom here. i’m just. i’m still. really confused. i’ll shut up now.

10. this may be my favourite dick look yet:

woodsman!dick in a beanie.

10.5. i unironically love how titans has made this bizarrely-devoted-to-his-moniker, toxin-spewing supervillain into a tamer version of hannibal, psychoanalysing his victims into submission. it’s of a piece with how inward looking titans is, the way all of its villains are obsessed with how our protagonists’ minds work, to the point where they would actually spend time inside of them.

there are no big plots to end the world. no apocalypses or endgames here. these villains collect the titans’ insecurities like infinity stones. the way the titans defeat them is by achieving character growth--literally winning by the power of love. literally “the real superpower is the friends we made along the way”!

10.7. anyway, i’m betting dick is used to this bullshit from crane and is humouring him in the service of getting more information. the story about the wolf? an implicit threat, not to mention dick getting to control what crane knows about him and what methods he would use to manipulate him.

am i giving dick too much credit here? i don’t think so. he’s really impressed me so far this season.

10.75. like. there’s a real unreliable narrator vibe coming off with every person that talks about bruce (much like how the various members of the titans talked about jason’s motivations) and to buy into crane’s talk about bruce being a psychopath is to fall for the same manipulation that jason fell for. dick is the only person who hasn’t really psychoanalysed bruce this season, and i think some part of his detective brain is piecing things together into a bigger picture.

11. i’m glad kory rescued kom but did she have to kill the scientist?

(i mean, yeah, probably - the less people know that kom escaped the less likely they’re going to have the fucking govt on their doorstep, but still.)

11.5. dick’s gonna come back to wayne manor, stare straight at komand’r and go, well which room would you like? because the team might as well adopt ANOTHER person, yeah?

12. oh MAN that red hood/nightwing fight was AMAZING! and he did the thing! the boomerang escrima thing! i’m so delighted!

12.5. the anger and disbelief in dick’s voice when he says you told crane EVERYTHING?! tells me that he knew exactly what he was telling crane himself.

12.75. “everything you are is because of him” - oh that reminds me of halluci!bruce from last season. i hope we see halluci!bruce again--he is so vicious but so entertaining... so much more effective at tearing dick down than crane or jason combined. goes to show that dick’s biggest enemy is own fucking head.

12.8. oh no! dick’s shot! crane is in the wind with red hood! blackfire is now with the titans! i love it!

honestly this season’s pacing is such a big step up from the last couple. gold star, show.

#titans #titans spoilers #meta #dick grayson #koriand'r #garfield logan #komand'r #conner kent #dawn granger #jason todd #jonathan crane #a byronic cupcake #badass strawberry truffle #manic pixie pop tart #a tragic jalebi

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rocksinmuffin · 4 years ago

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It’s been a while and some of these are old as hell but answering a bunch of questions under the read more.

Nah, I never watched it so I can’t recommend it. Nothing from the Unicron Trilogy ever really appealed to me but there are plenty of people who have watched the series and enjoyed it so to each their own. If you’re interested then I say watch an episode or two just to see how you feel and go from there.

No thank you, I never watched the series and also I don’t want to fuck ducks.

No, sorry, I think Vash the Stampede is cool as hell but I never saw more than one or two episode in my whole life so really I’m not familiar enough with the series to write about it.

Yeah, my dude, I never stopped. In this house we love and respect hyper muscular men who take three episodes to power up.

Love me in a homo way or get the fuck out

I think I’ve read in issue or two but I’m not really familiar with them. I know that Jazz and Marissa Fairborn kinda had a flirty thing going on so that was cool.

I’m too scared to play the games because they scurry but the Big Daddies can come get it.

I don’t but she sounds like a milf.

I never heard of this character before because y’all constantly recommend peopke to me from games and shows I have never heard of but he looks like if TFP Soundwave fucked an Andalite from animorphs and I am going to ride on the back of that centaur robot like he’s a coin-operated horsy ride sitting outside a super market that went out of business.

Damn I have not been keeping up with Shovel Knight but I’m happy for you and your 3-in-1 boyfriend deal.

asdfghjkl you really picked out the skeeviest young republican looking mother fucker from the show i’m crying!!!!!!! You could fuck the sad wolf man and you pick that draco malfoy looking bitch!!! I’m praying for you!!!!!

it’s kevin

nah I’ve heard of it but never played it and the gameplay itself doesn’t really appeal to me so I never got interested. I’m sure there’s hot men in there but too much effort to get invested.

I know nothing about JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure other than Dio’s a big fucking bitch and every time something about the show ends up on my Tumblr dash I just become even more confused about what this show is.

I have yet to play the game (though I downloaded the mobile version) but I think it is SO FUNNY how people are so desperate to make nsfw content for characters that look like jelly beans lmao!!!!

But you know what, those people are still more valid than the people who make nsfw content of the youtubers who play the game. People who want to fuck beans are better people than people who want to fuck youtubers and that is the hill I’m dying on.

😊 thank you!!!!!! Mostly I just get prompts I’ve answered fifty times before or prompts that I don’t want to answer for one reason or another so I find a way to twist it like a bastard genie but I’m glad you enjoy my bastardly deeds.

Oh yeah, I think they told me about it when they were first starting the project so there should be something for them in my promo tags, but for those interested you can find their blog here: https://taao-datingsim.tumblr.com/

and shit i remember playing namco high when it first came out forever ago. very stupid but in a fun way. I unironically fell in love with the undead samurai dude.

This ask was sent in way before I started posting about playing the game on my blog so I am holding you personally responsible for me playing this game in the year 2020

#ask #anon #rantinsmuffin #long post #will i won't i

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angelhummel · 4 years ago

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So I saw a post about the eras of the Glee fandom and I am in the Resurgence Era. I began watching the show back in May 2020. I know people like to make fun of the show a lot, and I totally understand, but I unironically enjoy this show. Well maybe not a majority of S4-S6, but I like the music, the comedy, the heartfelt moments, the zany characters. But I can also see how even in the early seasons, which people hail as Glee's Peak, how it could have been better. (1/?)

With the exception of a few song changes and polishing clunky dialogue, there isn't much I would change in S1 or S2 (although I would cut down on the cheating plotlines in S2). S3 should have been about the club finally being unified with almost no infighting, and they shouldn't have tried to cram so many PSAs into one season AND Santana's coming out story should have had more focus than it got (and it should have been handled more sensitively period) But the music in S3 still rocked.

In S4-S6 I can see almost exactly when people began dropping from the fandom and I understand why. S4 through S5 (especially S5) seemed to be flailing for some sense of direction with the characters and juggled too many nonsensical (and often tone deaf) storylines for it to be coherent. S6 saved it from ending disastrously, but by then it was too late to truly save the show. Not to mention Ryan Murphy's unprofessionalism leading to actor drama and just butchered story lines.

But I can see how the show could progressed coherently and satisfyingly. In S3-S4 the New Directions should have become the champions for the underdogs. In S4 with most of them graduating, they should have had the theme of branching out into the big world beyond their small, closeminded town in Ohio. S5 could have been them getting too big for their britches and then failing because of arrogance. Then S6, they go back to Lima as a humbling reminder of where they started.

In S6, with the allotted 22 episodes they should have had, they could have started up the Glee club again, and be reminded why they joined in the first place. It makes me sad that bad writing and Ryan Murphy's unprofessionalism tanked a show that had all the groundwork for being absolutely amazing. Glee is many things: wacky, musical, bizarre, heartfelt, frustrating, insensitive, sometimes all those things in the same episode, but when it was good, there was nothing else like it.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I mean that last plot is basically what they tried to do but just with Rachel while everyone puttered around for ten episodes before they wrapped all the pointless crap up. I mean I was never a fan of them having to go back to Ohio in the final season just bc they’d already done it multiple times by then and it’s like can we please see something new?? All I wanted for the last two seasons was all my faves and a few guest stars in NY lmao. It’s still an ensemble show with like 7-10 characters and some good guest stars, right??

Also like I’ve sort of said this before lately but. S2 is a hot damn mess. If you didn’t have Kurt or Klaine and you didn’t have Santana or Brittana?? That season would be nothing lol. Maybe it’s just me but idk all the het nonsense that season really drags it down for me. And s3 is fucking awful but that’s what so many people cite as their favorite. Which to me it just proves that people talking about “it was really good at first then sharply declined when everyone graduated” is complete bullshit and it’s just people looking at the seasons they actually watched through rose colored glasses and just saying it got 100% when they stopped being interested in it.

And I swear I’m not trying to just shit on everything you’re saying lmao but again people saying s3 had the best music of all but like. I dunno I think DWS had the best music and was the best actual tribute ep. Michael also had really good performances. Then there’s maybe five other performances I’d put in the iconic tier lol. Idk I think it’s overrated all around and I just hate s3 so damn much (: But yes it does have some good music

But anyway your last paragraph. If I could rewrite Glee with 20/20 hindsight I would have the s4 and s6 newbies switch. So the new and interesting characters for s6 are introduced earlier and actually bring something new to the table. And then in s6 we get the wannabe copies of the oldies so that when all the alums are there, they pick out the person that reminds them most of their high school selves to mentor them. So like Thanksgiving but for like half the season or whatever lol. And it’s like sweet and nostalgic for them to sort of see themselves at the start of their friendship again and to give everyone the advice they wished they knew back in the day. Stuff like that. Could’ve been cute

And idk I don’t agree with everyone else saying s5 sucked lol. I mean obviously one of the contributing factors to the strangeness and sloppiness was one of their main characters dying and having to write around that. And poor Sam having to fill Finn’s crap shoes and become Finn 2.0 and I think you can see that best with the nurse Penny stuff. But idk I mean there’s twerking and puppets which are nonsensical and only one of those things comes off as tone deaf to me. I don’t think it’s as bad as people wanna say. But after the boringness of them coming back to Ohio for the glee club in the middle of the season?? And then my favorite characters are in NY after that?? Those are some of my absolute favorite episodes. I mean I’m in my top 40 glee ranking episodes and I’ve got 5 eps just from the back half of season five to go. I love it. It’s some of my favorite Glee

Although I still agree that s1 is the best. And that’s with the show focusing mainly on Mr. Schue, Finchel, and Quick. And I still adore it as much as I do. Season one really is something special. I mean just about every season is like watching a different show. And no one is going to agree on what they like best or why. But idk I’m just glad everyone in the fandom has something to hold onto.

#glee #asks #answered #long post #my thoughts #oh and rm letting cast drama fuel his writing choices #fuck him for that #i didnt need a pezberry feud just bc nr was sick of lm's bullshit #seasons-of-stories

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dazais-guardian-angel · 4 years ago

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Hi! Since you seem to be into a lot of different stuff can you share anime recommendations? If you have any. Have a lovely day!! You seem like such a sweet person

What 🥺🥺🥺 a-awww, thank you so much anon!! That’s so kind of you to say... I’m just a nut crying feels into the void over my obscure faves over here, without a consistent one fandom anymore a;lksfklkfg though I guess now it’s just egg, but thank you! ❤️ I have a lot of anime recommendations I can give, but I don’t know what exactly you’re into, or if you’re looking for anything in particular...? But I can definitely list some!

The big popular ones you probably already know about are My Hero Academia and Attack on Titan, I’ll get those out of the way first. I have my gripes with MHA and it has a lot of flaws that can’t be ignored, but overall it’s a really fun and high-energy and uplifting shounen series that has some really beautiful messages and moments, with a wonderful and touching main duo of main characters, and amazing animation and music; it’s as popular as it is for a reason, it’s just such a feel-good show and I’d always recommend it, even if I do complain about it sometimes haha. Attack on Titan on the other hand, I know hyperbole like this is like ugh really, but I really do mean it when I say it is an absolute masterpiece in the making; the first season feels very run-of-the-mill, typical shounen, which I wasn’t a big fan of like everyone else was at the peak of its initial hype years ago, but the show changes and evolves so much, beyond what you could ever imagine, honestly, and now by this point, when it’s almost at its end (the manga is literally ending a week from today), I can almost definitively say it’s one of the best anime out there. Everything in it is foreshadowed from the very first episode, the puzzle and mysteries unfold so masterfully and it all ties together so well, the story’s themes and the characters are all amazing, the music is GODLY and so is the animation, it’s just perfect, please please everyone watch AoT.

Bungou Stray Dogs is also pretty popular, and is one of my personal favorite animanga of all time; it’s a mystery/supernatural action semi-steampunk series with a huge focus on the characters and some AMAZING found family dynamics, seriously if you want found family for the love of god watch BSD, I love all these characters and their relationships so so much. Season 3 isn’t as good an adaptation of the manga, sadly, but the first two seasons and especially season 2 are absolutely amazing, and I would recommend the manga in a heartbeat as well. Noragami I adore for much of the same reasons, with the besttt found family dynamics and a really great balance between comedy and drama, though with Noragami in particular I would for sure stress to read the manga afterward, because the anime falls short near the end of season 2 and leaves so much unfinished, and the manga is absolutely phenomenal, one that like the rest of these will probably always remain in my top ten manga.

If you like shoujo, Akatsuki no Yona is my favorite shoujo of all time, with - once - again, wonderful found familyyy in a historical setting, really lovely slow progression of character development, and some fantastic action and music. The anime leaves so much unanswered and unfinished so the manga is an absolute must here, but I still just have to mention it because the anime is just so damn good in adapting what it covers, especially combined with the OVAs still waiting for that season 2 *cries*.

Assassination Classroom is a comedy/drama(??) shounen that ended a few years ago; it’s VERY funny and entertaining to watch, with an almost seamless transition into high emotional beats that left me speechless at how invested in and attached I suddenly was, and the ending, I’m not exaggerating, made me cry harder than literally anything else I have ever watched in my life, it is that devastating. Highly highly recommend AssClass yes that’s the nickname, I love it so so much, but be prepared to have your feels hit by a truck.

Free! is a really good sports anime with really great characters, and yes I am saying this completely unironically, I highly recommend Free’s first two seasons; just please for the love of god pretend season 3 does not exist. Run With the Wind is my other favorite sports anime that is CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED, it’s so motivational and uplifting and all the characters are so damn nice and endearing, and it has a fantastic score by the same composer as MHA and Haikyuu’s osts; EVERYONE WATCH RWTW IT IS SO SO GOOD.

Made in Abyss is another anime that is likely to never fully conclude the manga’s story, but the one season and movie that we do have is an absolute animated masterpiece in every imaginable way, so I would be remiss if I didn’t recommend it; it’s haunting and beautiful and very hard to watch at times, but so so worth it. Princess Tutu is, to me, the best magical girl anime of all time, dark beautiful fantasy with a wonderful four main characters and one of my favorite “villain” redemption arcs ever, not to mention one of the best enemies-to-lovers story arc I’ve ever seen. Of course my other favorite magical girl anime is the much-loved Puella Magi Madoka Magica, that is also dark but not without a purpose, twelve tightly-written episodes that wrap up perfectly by the end, with not a single minute wasted.

Poco’s Udon World is my favorite fluffy slice of life show; it’s also criminally underrated and SO sweet, it makes me cry every time I watch it with how goddamn precious it is, and I so wish more people knew about it. No.6 is a great short bl romance/sci-fi anime, and Romeo x Juliet is one of my favorite older romance anime, based on... well, the title is self-explanatory.

Mystery is my favorite genre in any media, so I have a lot of these haha. Gankutsuou is a supernatural mystery/drama/suspense/thriller based off the famous novel The Count of Monte Cristo, and it still remains one of my favorite anime of all time; the tension builds so WELL with each and every episode, the story is so gripping and so so tragic, and it always makes me cry by the last few episodes; a very underrated gem (also it has one of the most unique animation styles I’ve ever seen). Gosick is another mystery anime I adore, though it’s more of a slow-burn romance with some episodic mysteries before diving into an overarching plot; it’s actually what I tell people is my #1 favorite anime, just because the Victorian aesthetic is so me, but it’s so unknown that I never really get a chance to talk about it, haha. Mawaru Penguindrum is a mystery/drama/comedy anime that is extremely bizarre and philosophical, it’s honestly impossible to explain without just seeing it yourself alkfglalksdk, but it has a lot of family feels and is extremely touching and satisfying by the end despite all the weirdness, at least to me, so I always try to recommend it, though it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. Erased is another fantastic short mystery/drama/suspense thriller, with some really moving moments and wonderful atmosphere and tension; the ending falls a little flat, but that doesn’t ruin how amazing the rest of it is (and I’d also recommend the live-action Netflix version, which has the proper ending from the manga). And I guess I’ll throw in Moriarty the Patriot too when it comes to mystery/crime thriller anime, which I’m still currently watching and is still ongoing, but I absolutely LOVE it so far, more people should be watching and reading it.

I have a lot more I could list too, to be honest 😅 I just pulled some of my favorites from the list on my About page ahaha, and a range of popular known ones to more obscure underrated ones. But I hope some of these suit your fancy, anon, sorry I tend to ramble ALKSDFKLFLSKDF I just wanted to be thorough since I didn’t know if you were after a particular genre or not! I hope you have a lovely day too! ❤️

#replies #me: i can list some #me: *summarizes fucking all of them*#take a shot every time I use the words 'masterpiece' 'absolutely 'definitely' 'of all time' or 'found family'#vocab level over 9000 👌👌👌#not me not including hxh or ph #self care bitches 😌#Anonymous

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kinetic-elaboration · 5 years ago

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July 22: 1x07 What Are Little Girls Made Of?

Today was an inexplicably good day?? Weird. Even before the watching TOS part.

My mom immediately pointed out that Christine had her hair done. Well of course! It’s seeing the fiance day!

I can’t believe she hasn’t seen Roger in 5 years.

Perhaps why she feels comfortable drunk-confessing her love for an alien lol.

Another story of a person exploring an abandoned planet and playing around with the stuff he finds there. I gotta say truly and unironically this never gets old for me.

Also another story of Kirk meeting one of his heroes. The boy likes to read, and then imagine meeting the authors.

I always get so excited just to be watching Star Trek that I miss half the exposition at the beginning of each ep.

Mmmm, underground ruins built by past inhabitants.

HavE YOU evER BeEn enGAGEd mr SPOCK?

He’s married right now.

Love how both Jim and Christine are like “I must know, I must know the answer to this.”

Christine so sure that it’s Roger BUT IT’S NOT ROGER like???? This relationship isn’t gonna work.

The cute Christine and Uhura moment in the background (is it gay?? it isn’t on its face but that lip touching moment sure is!) and Spock in the Captain’s chair.

The long shot looks like a realistic ice planet and the close up looks like boxes covered in soft white blankets.

“Beam down..............hmmmm................two security men.”

Look at all those penises.

Oh Kirk, every time a crewman dies, that’s all he cares or thinks about.

Christine is displeased to meet Android Andrea.

Kirk’s face when Roger and Christine kiss is hilarious to me?? Like he kinda makes a kissing motion? So jealous.

Kirk’s tiny little phaser is so bizarre.

Oh no! They’re....androids!! Dun dun dun.

Spock recognizes that it’s not Kirk’s voice talking to him right away like who is the REAL engaged couple here hmmm??

Smart Kirk move #1: adding “or disobey orders from her” to Ruk’s programming.

The idea of this android just tending machinery for hundreds of years is so sad.

This is my kind of action sequence: very obviously choreographed.

“How can you love him if you don’t trust him?” A very perceptive android.

Love the shocked music at the reveal Andrea is an android as if this weren’t the MOST obvious thing from the start.

She has skin and a pulse? “How convenient.”

When Christine asks “Did you [love the machine]?” she definitely means “Did you have sex with the machine?” Otherwise she would have phrased it as “Do you?” as in a continuous action, versus, a past event.

Wish Spock were here to comment on the perfectly logical machines.

Love the green pre-android lol.

So do the androids have to be fashioned after real people and if so, who is Andrea?

Smart Kirk move #2: Programming obviously false sentiments into his brain at the right moment, so Spock will know there’s something wrong.

“I am now programmed to please you also” sounds so ominous. Ominous and a big ol’ admission she and Roger fucked.

Bringing in Android Kirk to prove his believability to Chapel is honestly, watching it now, such a betrayal. Like, sending in someone she trusts to talk to her, knowing she’ll be honest and open with him, and then telling her it’s just a trick or a test? I was never so bothered by it before but watching it now, wow, Roger is AWFUL.

Stop everything it’s SAM KIRK TIME. I love Sam. Find it weird that no one else calls him Sam if George is Kirk Sr.’s name b/c my experience with kids who share family names is everyone in the family/family’s orbit picks up the nickname/middle name/whatever.

Where did his other two sons go?

Did he ever make it to Earth Colony 2?

Sorry just picturing Sam and his family seeing Kirk off and getting EMO.

Roger describing the usefulness of androids reminds me of, mmm, Dollhouse. Altered Carbon. T100.

Either Korby just generally lost his mind or something was corrupted when he became an android.

Oh Kirk. What does he love in humans? Love, tenderness, sentiment. A ROMANTIC NERD.

Mom contends, and I agree that Ruk is very stylishly dressed. I suppose he must look like the Old Ones? I never thought about it, but based on how the androids are made, they must have been physically indistinguishable from the Old Ones.

Kirk is armed now, with a giant pink phallus.

Spock sees the Captain walk right past him, without saying hi, and he is IMMEDIATELY suspicious. Just walks right away from what he was doing like lol whatever.

Now Spock knows for sure... the real Captain wouldn’t be so cavalier with official papers and he definitely wouldn’t use racial slurs!!

Kirk the honeypot. What I say every time he uses his sexuality for a purpose (not the same as being a womanizer btw!!!).

Oh Andrea DEFINITELY had sex with Roger. “I’m not programmed for you!”

Spock would disagree that saving the Captain is illogical.

“They turned us off!” I know there are other stories that go into this type of narrative more (Blade Runner) but... I still want to know more about these particular androids and aliens.

“Survival must cancel out programming.”

These androids, not counting Ruk, are like honestly not very smart at all. Kirk is very much distinguishable from real Kirk. (Just brushing off a weird attempted kiss with “it is illogical.”) Andrea is very easily confused. Doesn’t know who she’s killing, doesn’t know what she’s about.

Spock got the message!

“Your flawless beings killing one another.”

Korby is honestly a lot more interesting than I remembered. I remembered the part about him being an android, and pretty quickly the part about him actually transferring his consciousness, but... he’s so different from the Korby Kirk read about and Christine knew. Would that have happened anyway, just from his experiences? Or was it becoming an android that did it? I think there’s some evidence for the latter, like how he tries to prove his humanity and can only think of actions a machine would take. Plus all the emphasis all the way through on them being “just machines.” And it must be said, we don’t know how different Ruk is from the Old Ones, intellectually or personality wise, but we know that Kirk is a poor substitute, so it doesn’t seem likely Roger was actually all that good at his experiments yet. Doesn’t seem plausible he transferred himself correctly.

“Everything you’ve done has proved it isn’t you.”

I wonder why Ruk was the only android left? Did the others break down? Are there rusted android carcasses hanging out somewhere? Or like... rotting android bodies?

And THEN the little last minute twist with Andrea--DID she have feelings? Was she becoming human in some way?

Look Christine, your other boyfriend Spock is here!

Spock’s expression at the end totally kills me. “Ugh, fine, I GUESS I understand you were in a really WEIRD situation what with being turned into an ANDROID and all.”

I feel bad for him that he had to hear Kirk say such awful things to him. But that was the point! It had to be something the real Kirk would NEVER say!

This was a really good Kirk ep, and I definitely saw nuances in the android story that I didn’t see before/didn’t remember. Like Mudd’s Women, it put a lot of its most interesting stuff really fast into a few scenes, mostly at the end, but still overall a really solid episode.

And I’m still ASCENDING over the “Have you ever been engaged, Mr. Spock?” I can’t help it, I am a simple being.

#star trek tos #the year 2020 #2020: fandom thoughts #2020: star trek

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btsybrkr · 5 years ago

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Please Come Dine With Me

In today’s world of Netflix originals, glossy reality series and big budget drama, it’s easy to forget about TV’s old reliables. You know, the programmes with nothing to say, but so much to give. They’re the television equivalent of an ex that you can’t help but miss, despite having brought absolutely nothing to each other’s lives. The absolute king of this brand of TV can only be Come Dine With Me, the dinner party contest that began broadcasting in 1892 and has been playing simultaneously, on all 26 branches of Channel 4, at every hour of every day ever since. Seriously, flick through the channels, I can almost guarantee it’s on right now.

Come Dine With Me, now in its 37th series (I’m actually not making that bit up), must unironically be one of the best things to ever air in this country. During a casual viewing, it seems that nothing much happens, but a quick Google search unearths an absolute goldmine of unforgettable moments. Some have already been cemented into pop culture history, destined to be repeated on ‘100 Greatest...’ clip shows until the sun swallows the Earth whole - like the man who decided to sample a sauce he was making by nonchalantly shoving the whole whisk into his mouth, or sore loser Peter Marsh’s ‘you won, Jane’ speech, which is, in my opinion, a hundred times more brutal than anything Ricky Gervais could or would ever come out with whilst presenting an awards ceremony. Others are unfortunately never spoken about, but remain a vivid memory in the consciousness of the lucky viewers who caught them, such as the moment a particularly eccentric contestant, known only as DJ Dom, drafted in indie musician Badly Drawn Boy to help him cook for his ‘Madchester’ themed dinner party, before telling the viewers “All done, just got to go and change me kecks!” and coming back downstairs in the exact same outfit, right down to the bucket hat. Or the iconic Preston week from series 7, in which we were introduced to so-posh-it-hurts Valerie Holliday, whose pronunciation of the word ‘pheasant’ (or fezzaaaunt, as she might say) is superglued to the insides of my brain, where it will stay for the rest of my days. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m sure we’ve all, at some point, had the ‘who would be invited to your dream dinner party?’ conversation with our friends or family, but what we should really be asking each other is “who would be on your dream episode of Come Dine With Me?”. If you think about it, they’re two very different questions, with very different answers. Of course, I’d love the chance to sit and speak with Tom Hanks, Mac Demarco and Phoebe Waller-Bridge over a glass of wine and a really good burger, but do I think it would make entertaining TV? Well, yeah, probably. But not on Come Dine With Me. That’s a horse of a very different colour.

Anyway, here’s what my dream episode of Come Dine With Me might look like. Narrated in your brain by Dave Lamb, probably.

Today, we’re in Blackpool, where our first contestant, 23-year-old chronic timewaster Betsy (that’s me!), is gearing up to host the opening night of the week, and we’re sure it’s going to be an absolute belter. Let’s see what her fellow dinner party guests make of the menu.

“A cheeseboard? As a starter? What’s that about?”, asks living soundbite and reality TV icon, Gemma Collins. She’s unimpressed with the menu, largely on the basis that it pales in comparison to the sort of luxury she’s used to, such as the gourmet camel penis she could have been tucking into on I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! In 2014, had she not packed it in after three days. Actually, I think the celebrity version of Come Dine With Me might be the only reality programme that Gemma Collins is yet to appear in. Maybe we should be writing to the powers-that-be at Channel 4 and getting them to sort that out, since I’ll surely be making a strong case for her appearance here. Anyway, who’s next?

Our third contestant is equally disappointed with the offerings. “I don’t fuck with stilton”, states the self-proclaimed second coming of Jesus, Kanye West. Yes, he’s an odd choice for a daytime cookery/popularity contest, especially since I’m almost 100% sure he doesn’t cook for himself under any circumstances, and is probably only popular among people who’ve never had to try and sit through an actual conversation with him, but who cares? Kanye does what Kanye wants. And if Kanye wants to appear on Come Dine With Me, then that’s his business, and he’ll shit in the Yeezys of anybody who disagrees. Or pay someone else to do it for him, obviously. Anyway, onto contestant number four, who can surely only be disappointing after that… can’t they?

Of course not!! Contestant number four is TV’s shouty queen-of-clean Kim Woodburn, who is really excited to get her teeth into some red hot beef. Not the food kind, either. The kind of beef she dished out to Philip Schofield, while he was asking her questions about the beef she dished out in her fondly-remembered ‘chicken-livered bunch’ rant from Celebrity Big Brother. She’ll be glad to know I’m not serving any chicken livers at my dinner party, I’m sure. Not that she’ll be particularly enamoured with my cooking skills overall.

“It all looks terribly common, darling”, she says, as she holds the menu in one Marigold-wearing hand, and a glass of an expensive gin in the other. Suit yourself, then, Kim.

Contestant number five hasn’t bothered to read the menu yet, but that’s because he’s been busy begging the Channel 4 producers on set for another series of Deal Or No Deal now that his hefty I’m A Celebrity paycheck is all but gone. Yes, it’s Noel Edmonds, TV’s favourite bearded arsehole. After Alan Sugar, of course, but I’ve already written a bit about him on here, so there’d be no point in putting him in this one as well. You know, someone I knew a few years back once told me that Noel Edmonds did a guest lecture at his university, in which he offered some lucky students the chance to spend their summer doing a couple of months unpaid work experience on his radio show. Imagine that! Spending day-in-day-out with Noel Edmonds, without even a penny in compensation. I know they say ‘life’s not fair’, but that really would be pushing it.

Anyway, that’s everyone, and as I anxiously pour boiling water into five chicken and mushroom Pot Noodles, my all-star dinner guests begin to arrive. First at the doorstep is Kim, who I greet with open arms.

“Wonderful to meet you, luvvie”, she says. The worried glance she gives the camera afterwards tells me otherwise. Perhaps she’s unimpressed by my unshiny door handle. That’s not a euphemism.

Gemma and Noel arrive soon afterwards, both carrying bottles of champagne that I couldn’t possibly ever afford myself. They’re not to share, of course, they were bought in anticipation that the wine I’m providing wouldn’t be up to standard, which it is, because I’m serving all my courses with a glass of Summer Berries Echo Falls. It’s £5.99 a bottle and gets you absolutely Bankered.

We mingle in the living room, eagerly anticipating the arrival of my final guest. Just as Gemma, Kim and Noel begin bonding over the trials of being paid many thousands of pounds to sit around and simply exist for the viewing pleasures of mere mortals like myself, Kanye West teleports himself into the room, in a futuristic flash of lightning and to the tune of his 2010 hit Power, blowing a massive hole into the entire left side of my house in the process. It’s true what he says, you know - the man really is a genius.

We take our seats at the dinner table, as soon as the rest of my guests are done with the obligatory search through my knicker drawer (cue a comeback for Kim’s famous How Clean Is Your House? catchphrase, “Oh, you dirty devil!”) that happens on every edition of Come Dine With Me. You know, despite everything else on the programme, that’s the one bit of it that I’ve never really understood. Every single one of the show’s 1,647 episodes includes a bizarre sequence in which the contestants go running around the host’s home, rifling through their personal belongings and mocking them for the cameras. I’m sure the point of it is supposed to be to give the guests a chance to ‘get to know’ the host, but then I’d have thought that spending five nights eating and chatting with them would be a fairly effective way of doing that. Besides, can you imagine catching your guests doing that in real life? I wouldn’t be sitting them down for a meal and rating them for a chance to win £1,000, I’d be throwing them out, maybe even calling the police, depending on what exactly they were doing with the belongings in question. Not that I have time to think about that right now, I’ve got a cheeseboard to prepare!

First topic of conversation is, of course, TV, and as we tuck into our Ritz biscuits and Tesco Value mature cheddar, Noel gives us his opinion.

“My main issue with television these days is that I’m just not on it enough.” A valid viewpoint. We take a moment to collectively long for the days of Noel’s HQ, a drunken nightmare that was somehow harnessed and broadcast to the masses by Sky1, way back in 2008. Noel’s HQ has been mostly lost to time, except for the presence of a video on YouTube entitled ‘Noel Edmonds speaks with passion’, which is well worth a watch if, like me, you enjoy four minute long videos of TV presenters struggling to stifle their own belief that they might just be The Best Person Ever. There’s a great bit in it where he angrily declares to his delighted audience, “I don’t get paid a penny for doing this show”. Noel, I think I speak for everyone when I say thank you for your sacrifice.

Speaking of The Best Person Ever, Kanye is noticeably quiet. But then, Kanye isn’t here to share his views. Kanye isn’t particularly here to do anything. Kanye is simply here to observe - to greet his subjects, and work out what makes them tick. Kanye can sense our excitement to be sat in his presence, and Kanye enjoys this. It feeds Kanye. Far more than my meager dinner offerings ever could.

I press Gemma for her own opinions on TV, as someone who is literally always on it. Gemma Collins gets where Domestos can’t. It may sound like I’m being flippant, but in all honesty, I love Gemma Collins. I’m not even sure why, I just know I do. She’s famous for the sake of being famous, and she’s bloody good at it. She’s also quite possibly the most quotable public figure since Shakespeare himself. Maybe even more than Shakespeare. Think about it. What inspires you more? “To be or not to be?”, like anyone knows what that actually means, or “Nah, fuck this, I’m out of here. Get that fire exit door. Am off.”, a poetic sentiment, which conveys an emotion we’ve surely all felt at some point in our lives? I know who gets my vote.

Kim misunderstands the question “what do you think of television today?” as “how clean do you think my television is?”, and responds by pulling out a five pack of dusters and a can of Mr Sheen, and getting to work on the flatscreen in the corner of my living room. Oh well, at least all that cleaning will make her hungry in time for the main course. Speaking of which, maybe it’s time I got on with that.

Despite their disappointment with the starters, the main course - Super Noodle sandwiches, with a generous side-helping of curly fries - appears to delight all my guests, except Kim, who mutters under her breath that it all seems very tacky. I won’t let it get me down. It’s my heartfelt belief that anything can be a sandwich filling if you’re brave enough, and my other three guests agree with me. Kanye lets out a satisfied ‘hm’. Excellent.

We sit down to dessert, and another glass of Echo Falls. The wine is going down surprisingly well, especially with Kim, who has started subtly rolling her eyes at the conversation between myself and Gemma Collins, who are bonding over how much we love Gemma Collins. Kim purses her lips. Her Spidey-senses are tingling. There’s conflict afoot.

I quiz Noel about an article that I saw in 2015 and have never forgotten. It was featured on The Independent, and was headlined ‘Noel Edmonds says that ‘death doesn’t exist’ and that ‘Electrosmog’ is more deadly than Ebola’. I know that this sounds like something I just came up with, but I regret to tell you that is absolutely something he said. In real life. I’ll give you a minute to take that in.

Noel Edmonds reaffirms this view to me, speaking with the same unnerving passion he did in the YouTube clip I mentioned earlier. I nod politely. I begin to wonder if everyone’s had a little too much Echo Falls, and if I can really handle another four nights with these people. It’s at this moment that, for the first time all night, His Almighty Westness speaks.

“I really feel what you’re saying right now”, he tells Noel. We wait together for the next part of the statement, but it never comes. Kanye West outstretches his arm to Noel Edmonds. They shake hands. None of us can quite believe it. And for a moment, Noel and Kanye are right. It does feel as though death doesn’t exist. Nothing exists outside of this dinner party. Everything that matters is happening around my dining table at this very second.

The silence is broken by Kim Woodburn tutting into a wine glass.

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake,” she drawls, rolling her eyes, “What a load of nonsensical tosh.”

“Excuse me?”, asks Noel, still hand-in-hand with Kanye West, an alliance he is clearly eager to keep going for as long as possible, on the off chance that he fancies funding another series of Noel’s House Party, “I don’t see you bringing anything to the table here, Kim.”

She widens her eyes, taking another generous gulp of Echo Falls - and I know exactly what she’s about to bring to the table. A big old fight.

Gemma Collins throws in her two cents.

“I think we should all calm down a little bit, d’ya know what I mean? I’m having a lovely meal at a fan’s house, I can’t be arsed with an argument.” Wise words, as always, Gemma. Wise words.

It all kicks off.

“You can be quiet, you talentless, orange foghorn!”, sneers Kim, “You’ve contributed nothing to the conversation this evening, other than talking about yourself.”

Gemma’s eyes seem to cloud over with anger, as her complexion quickly transitions from Dulux shade Tangerine Twist to Cranberry Crunch. She knocks the rest of her wine back. Everything goes quiet again for a moment, as Noel, Kanye and I watch the two TV divas stare at each other. It’s like a scene from an old Western, but with diamonds and veneers.

With a violent roar, she launches herself across the table, grabbing Kim by her fake ponytail. I jump up to hold her back, as Kanye leaps from his seat to hold Kim from Gemma. There’s a mad blur of acrylic nails and tufts of bleach blonde hair flying between them, some of it landing into the banoffee pie I had worked so hard on. Noel stands back, arms folded, watching the action in dismay. If you could see the whole picture, it might resemble a renaissance painting, the sort that could be hung in a gallery anywhere in the world and analysed for it’s artistic importance. ‘Nous aimons le boeuf’, it might be called. French for ‘we love the beef’. Doesn’t really matter it means, though, to be fair, as long as it sounds clever and artsy.

Noel shakes his head.

“What the hell am I doing here?”, he asks, frustrated, “I’m a huge TV star.”

Security eventually intervene, somewhat reluctantly, given the fact this is the most action they’ve seen on a shoot for Come Dine With Me, possibly ever. Producers watch back the footage of the fight on an iPad, sat on my sofa, attempting to mask their delight at what they’d caught on camera.

Kanye eventually stands up, soberly taking in the scene in front of him. Is this how Jay-Z felt as he left the elavator?, he wonders.

“I’m gonna take off”, he informs everyone, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room in the aftermath. But before he can teleport out of the room again, possibly blowing a hole in the other side of my house, the producer speaks up.

“Same time tomorrow? It’s Gemma’s night.”

Four more nights of this… four more nights, all for the chance to win £1,000… is it worth it?

Of course it is. It was a blast. Same time tomorrow, indeed.

To see some highlights from the iconic Preston week of Come Dine With Me, click here. To see Noel Edmonds speak with passion, click here. To follow me on twitter, click here, or here for instagram :)

#come dine with me #celebrity big brother #big brother #gemma collins #i’m a celebrity #comedy #tv review #reality tv #blogger #ukblogger #comedy writing

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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I Think You Should Leave Season 2: Ranking Every Sketch

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How on Earth did we survive two years without new episodes of Netflix’s brilliant sketch comedy series I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson? The first batch of six episodes premiered on April 23 of 2019 and proved instantly iconic.

Contained within the season’s roughly two-dozen sketches was absolutely hilarious and essential comedy that provided ample memetic kindling for the internet’s conversational fire. For the focused enough mind, it’s entirely possible to communicate with one’s friends exclusively in I Think You Should Leave memes. Lord knows, I’ve tried it.

Thankfully, ITYSL season 2 has finally arrived on Netflix after its COVID-19 delay. It features 28 sketches that range from “pretty funny” to “I can’t stop laughing. Oh God, I can’t stop laughing. It hurts, surely this is the end. Surely, I will die.”

Check out our rankings below and then begin yelling at our chances like Spectrum is dropping your network.

28. Credit Card Roulette

If nothing else, Tim Robinson and I Think You Should Leave co-creator Zach Kanin are incredible comedy scouts. Through two seasons, the show’s sketches have been a who’s who of up-and-coming comedic talent, like the wonderful John Early who is featured in this sketch. Unfortunately Early is not served well by the material here, which doesn’t rise to the same ludicrous heights as season 2’s other sketches. The best moment is Early’s immediate resolve that he’s not paying the bill, but the sketch doesn’t go too far after that.

27. Dave’s Poop Double

The sketch that serves as the cold open of season 2’s final episode doesn’t get things off to the best start. The concept of Tim’s “Luka” hiring a guy who looks just like his coworker Dave to take monster shits every time he gets up is certainly fun but missing an important layer of added absurdity. Luka is probably the best name for any of Robinson’s random characters yet though.

26. Little Buff Boys Pt. 2

Season 2 features many more callbacks to previous sketches than the first season did. This followup to Little Buff Boys is the worst of the bunch but still quite funny. Perhaps the only thing more absurd than a Little Buff Boys competition is someone being proud of running “one of” the biggest LBB competitions in the Greater Cincinnati area. This sketch also passes up an easy Cincinnati Chili joke in favor of creating the truly vile “cherry chuck salad.”

25. Detective Crashmore Trailer

This trailer for action thriller Detective Crashmore is funny enough on its own but doesn’t reach another comedic level until the AOL Blast interview two sketches later. Still, I unironically want to see an action film with a lead character whose main quip is “Eat fucking bullets, you fuckers. You fucking suck. You fucking SUCK!”

24. I Should Have Got That

I Think You Should Leave deserves a big spread in AARP magazine. No other sketch show revels in the talents of older comedians quite like this one. After 81-year-old comedian Ruben Rabasa stole the show in season 1, season 2 ups the ante with many more sketches letting old folks shine. It’s Bob McDuff Wilson’s turn this time around and his child-like obsession with his student’s burger kills right up until the shockingly dark kicker.

23. Office Surfing

“I almost killed myself, Jullliieeeeee” is one of the best line-reads of the season. The sketch it’s built around isn’t too remarkable but man, does Robinson knock that one out of the park.

22. “No, I Don’t Know How to Drive”

This is a quickie but a goodie. Robinson’s characters break down in tears quite often this season and this is one of the better occasions. How far have Tim’s characters come – from reveling in the existence of four-wheeled motorcycles to looking at the inside of a car and weeping “I don’t know what any of this shit is and I’m fucking scared.”

21. The Capital Room

Speaking of top tier comedic talent, thank God Patti Harrison stopped by another season of I Think You Should Leave. This time around, we get two heaping doses of Patti. This one, the first of the two, is the inferior but still quite great. In the span of roughly 30 seconds, Harrison unveils the saga of a woman who A. Got sewn into the pants of the Thanksgiving Day parade Charlie Brown float, B. Hates all bald boys, C. Sued the city and won a fortune, D. Is now helplessly addicted to wine, and E. Is tragically self-aware that her money will run out soon.

20. But It’s Lunch

Just like last year’s opening sketch, “But It’s Lunch” (this is probably a good time to mention, that I’m naming all of these things myself. You could very easily call this the Hotdog sketch but that would confuse it with last year’s hotdog sketch) sets the perfect opening mood. The sight gag of Robinson’s Pat trying to stealthily eat a hotdog is wonderful, and the fact that things so quickly escalate to hotdog surgery and puke is just sublime.

19. Carber Hotdog Vacuum

The follow-up to “But It’s Lunch” occurs a full two episodes later and proves to be a hell of a pay-off. Robinson’s unnamed character (who is obviously Pat) very quickly reveals that there is one very specific reason he made this hotdog vacuum invention and you’ll never guess what it was. We all make mistakes. We shouldn’t be fired for them.

18. Insider Trading Trial (Stupid Hat)

This sketch somewhat mimics the experience of trying to explain what I Think You Should Leave is like to someone who has never seen it. “So, this guy took too small a slice of toilet paper…” or “…and then he has to have to have sex with his mother-in-law.” “Insider Trading” rotely describes the bizarre behaviors of one of Robinson’s deeply strange characters, Brian, as it’s being read into the court record. Brian and his stupid fedora with the safari flaps is in attendance to provide a visual aid. As are some hilarious flashbacks in which Brian attempts to roll the hat down his arm like Fred Astaire and instead encounters only wheelchair grease.

17. The Ice Cream Store is Closed Today

Before he was a criminal lawyer, Bob Odenkirk was one of the most legendary sketch writers of all time. It’s only fitting that he stop by ITYSL season 2 to provide his comedic blessing. Odenkirk is great from the get-go but this one doesn’t really get rolling until the end when Robinson finds himself truly immersed in the fictional life of this sad old man. “His wife’s sick but she’s gonna get better” is a shockingly emotional moment amid pure farce.

16. Barbie and the Blues Brothers

This is the sketch that climbed the most in my rankings upon a second viewing. What first seemed to be a waste of Conner O’Malley’s manic comedic energy became a semi-classic once I submitted to its strange vibes. I don’t even know what to call this one but Robinson’s character refusing to stop dancing as Barbie the dog melts down is hilarious. O’Malley is better served by last season’s “honk if you’re horny” sketch, still he gets some bangers in this time around like “She thinks he’s a whole new guy because of the glasses and the hat” and “it’s her house, she’s doing what’s right!” Robinson once again closes this nonsense out with some well-earned tears. “It’s just me, Barbie. I’m not the Blues Brothers.”

15. Jaime Taco (I Love My Wife)

“Jamie Taco” is a prime example of just how rapidly (and how well) I Think You Should Leave is able to veer into pure nonsensical genius. At the top, this sketch comes perilously close to making an actual statement about how men are too quick to pretend like their wives are horrible nags. This sketch, however, has its sights set on something much dumber…and therefore better. Our hero (played hilariously by Richard Jewell’s Paul Walter Hauser) loves his wife because she helped him through his darkest moment, which just so happens to be when snotty young actor Jamie Taco refused to let him say his Henchman lines in a play.

14. Comos Restaurant

All hail the return of the great Tim Heidecker! Heidecker, of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! fame, is one of the few comedians with a strange enough sensibility to be reasonably seen as an I Think You Should Leave forerunner. His season 1 turn as a walnut-obsessed jazz douche is a classic and this one reaches similar heights. This time, Heidecker’s character, Gary, and his lovely date, Janeane (Tracey Birdsall), have good reason to be annoyed by their date night at the sci-fi cosmos restaurant being interrupted by some hacky jokes. Of course, they use this opportunity to reveal that Jeannine’s mom used to drink puke for the Davy and Rascal radio show to pay for school supplies. It’s oddly refreshing to have a Heidecker character given a game partner and Gary and Janeane make one great team.

13. Detective Crashmore Interivew

While the Detective Crashmore trailer is the setup, this interview with AOL Blast is the punchline. Detective Crashmore is played by Santa Claus, because why not? Actor Biff Wiff’s gruff, nasally Midwestern timber is the perfect accent to accompany this lunacy. This is a Santa who in one breath demands to be taken seriously as an actor (Billy Bob Thornton-style) and in the next admits to seeing everyone in the world’s dick.

12. Sloppy Steaks (I Used to Be a Piece of Shit)

From here on out, it’s nothing but absolute homeruns. “Sloppy Steaks” could very well have been number one on this list and few would have batted an eye. The setup here is amazing as it gives Tim Robinson a reason to essentially have beef with a baby. The baby cries because he knows Robinson used to be a piece of shit. But don’t babies understand that people can change? That’s funny enough to begin with, but the real gut-busting moment here is the reveal of what “being a piece of shit” really means. In this case it means slicking one’s hair back and dousing the steaks at Truffoni’s with water to make sloppy steaks.

11. Johnny Carson Impersonator

Just a quick rundown for those who are confused…

Johnny Carson = Can Hit. George Kennedy = Can’t Hit. George Bush = Can’t Hit.

10. Driving School (Her Job is Tables)

This is the rare I Think You Should Leave sketch that actually provides an answer to all the lunacy. As Robinson’s character’s Driver’s Ed class watches Patti Harrison’s actress in some dated videos, they can’t help but wonder what she does for a living. “Tables,” Robinson answers over and over again. This would be funny enough on its own but the reveal that Harrison provides tables to Monster Cons is a rare and valuable moment of “Ohhhhh that’s why” for this show. Equally as valuable is Harrison, who really sells that those tables are her lifeblood.

9. Claire’s Ear-Piercings

One has to wonder how much time goes into choosing the perfect “order” for the sketches in I Think You Should Leave. Two seasons in a row now, the show has selected pitch perfect opening and closing sketches. This closing number is oddly melancholic as the Claire’s orientation video for girls who want to get their ears pierced somehow gives way to one 58-year-old man named Ron Tussbler’s existential dread. If we really get to see the “highlights” after we die, forcibly fake laughing every ten minutes to make the voyeuristic experience all the richer sounds like a good strategy and not sad at all. Hang in there, Ron.

8. Little Buff Boys Competition

What. A. Crop. It was a virtual certainty that ITYSL season 2 would feature a spiritual successor to the classic “Baby of the Year” sketch in season 1. Thank God “Little Buff Boys” is up to the challenge of replicating that magic. This one has all the right elements to be another hit: Sam Richardson (in a wig this time, no less), a grand pageant hall, and some precocious youths. Troll Boy also joins the canon of young ITYSL characters who everybody instinctively hates alongside Bart Harley Jarvis.

7. Tammy Craps

There’s something weirdly nefarious about this commercial for a poisonous doll that doesn’t have farts in her head anymore. It’s a criticism of late stage capitalism crossed with the cursed nature of the Annabelle movies…while not being like either of those things at all. In reality, this is just another absurdist concept sprung from the terrifying inner depths of the writing staff’s mind. It also happens to be a particularly great one. The girl weighing her clothes down with rocks so she can hit the magical 60-pound threshold to safely play with Tammy Craps is one of the best gags of the season.

6. Karl Havoc

“Little Buff Boys Competition” and another upcoming sketch are likely to produce the lion’s share of memes and quotes from this season of ITYSL. But the one quote that’s stuck in my mind most aggressively comes from this hilarious episode 1 clip. The sight of Robinson’s Carmine Laguzio posing as the dead-faced freakshow Karl Havoc and muttering “I don’t want to be around anymore” is quite simply one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed. This is a marvelous, unnerving, utterly hilarious sketch. That there are somehow five better sketches speaks to how strong this season is.

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5. Dan Flashes Pt. 1 (Office)

I Think You Should Leave is now two for two in introducing the most cutting edge items in men’s fashion. Season 1 featured the arrival of the highly practical TC Tugger shirt. Now season 2 ups the ante with the stylish Dan Flashes. This sketch succeeds because it takes a simple question “Why is Mike laying down during a business meeting?” and divines the most outlandish answer possible. Mike isn’t eating because he’s spending all his money on Dan Flashes shirts.

4. Dan Flashes Pt. 2 (Hotel Menu)

It’s one thing to introduce a hilarious concept, it’s another thing entirely to put it into practice. This second entry into the Dan Flashes canon is amazing. Back in part 1, it seemed as though the intricate patterns on the Dan Flashes shirts have a hypnotic effect on men who look exactly like Tim Robinson. Seeing the reality of that – pasty men battling one another to get their credit cards to the cashier before the other – is truly hilarious stuff.

3. Coffin Flop

This is the second sketch of the entire season…the second! And holy shit, does it set a strong precedent for what’s to come. This impassioned message from the Corncob TV CEO for Spectrum to save his network and its precisely one television program is a masterclass in shock humor. Watching body after body busting out of shit wood somehow never loses its grim luster. Somehow, in a sketch that features dozens of naked corpses flopping to the ground unexpectedly, it’s Robinson’s monologue that hits the hardest. “This world is so fucked up. And people are mad at me because I showed a bunch of naked dead bodies with their spread blue butts flying out of boxes? Really?”

2. Calico Cut Pants

Every episode of I Think You Should Leave season 2 features five sketches save for episode 4 which has only three. And that’s because episode 4 is dominated by a near 10-minute epic called “Calico Cut Pants.” In many ways, Calico Cut Pants is the platonic ideal of an ITYSL sketch. It takes place in a nightmarish world where every bizarre action only leads to an even more bizarre reaction. Nothing ever cools down. There is always something stranger on the horizon.

In this instance, Mike O’Brien (longtime SNL writer and the creator of the terminally underrated comedy A.P. Bio) plays an office drone who enters into a living hell merely because his co-worker helps him out of a mildly annoying social jam. Robinson’s character introduces him to a website that advertises pants with piss stains on them. That’s all well and good but once you know about Calicocutpants.com you Always. Have. To. Give. It’s like PBS, but more demonic. This remarkable sketch includes everything that’s great about this show, right down to characters with inexplicable idiosyncrasies like Tim Robinson’s adamance that doors must always be held open for him.

1. Ghost Tour

The funniest moment in ITYSL season 2 (and maybe the funniest moment in the history of the world) occurs in this sketch. Tim Robinson’s character has been admonished for his potty mouth during a ghost tour over and over again. The tour guide even said he’s ruining his job. But this poor man sincerely cannot understand why he’s in trouble. This is a tour for adults and he’s following the rules by using adult language. Like any good Robinson character, he truly believes that he’s the sane one and it’s the rest of the world that’s taking crazy pills.

So in his darkest moment, the man musters up his strength through tears and delivers the following query:

“Not trying to be funny. Not trying to get a laugh. I don’t want anybody to have the worst day at their job. But. Do any of these….fuckers….ever blast out of the wall and have, like a huge cum shot?”

Cue: riotous, damn near apocalyptic laughter. What a treasure and blessing this whole show is.

I Think You Should Leave season 2 is available to stream on Netflix now.

The post I Think You Should Leave Season 2: Ranking Every Sketch appeared first on Den of Geek.

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