#I think I'll do a complete overhaul/rewrite
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muldersfingers · 5 months ago
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Now I'm back from my trip and about to revisit my WIP......... it's been dawning on me how much work this fic needs esp my characterisations
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exilethegame · 10 months ago
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Hihi! This has been one of the BEST ifs I've ever read!!! Although i do have a question can we expect any updates soon? I'm totally fine with waiting this is just one of my absolute favorites! The writing, the RO's the characters everything😭
Hello! Thank you for the kind words :)
As for an update, all I'll say is-- I'm working on it! Re. the rewrite Chapters 1 + 2 are finished and 3 is about halfway done. I don't want to announce an actual "release date" because I haven't been able to work on things consistently w/ school. However, my thoughts are to just release Chapters 1-3 when they're done on the Twine demo for public release, and then update it again when Chapters 4 + 5 are done.
For a little peek of how things have changed, there's the mythosi sub-variants being added for MC, and then some scenes have completely different branches than before. For example, Jaime's encounter in Chapter 1 has 3-4 completely different endings now, which I think is pretty fun! And the Jost/Nikke battle has been completely overhauled to be a lot more dynamic/convoluted... (and of course there are now some Jost flirt options <3)
But I'm glad you enjoy the game so much! I can't overstate how thankful I am for those of you who have been willing to wait for so long. I know things are slow moving but we'll get there! Eventually!
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greenerteacups · 8 months ago
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Hi GT!
This is a question on your writing and editing process; I have a bad habit of constantly re-reading my work, leading me to either get use to it (and not be able to really edit it properly) or hate it immensely and want to change everything. Do you write everything down in one go, then edit, then read? Thank you for your work! I love it
You and I are the same in this respect, friend. To help with the self-critical/overhaul bit, I have two writerly modes: drafting and rewriting (editing). (I do a final revision before I post, which is where most of my line-editing happens.) When I'm drafting, I don't allow myself to reread the sentence once a period goes down. Obviously this doesn't always work -- you gotta reread a little for tone and pacing -- but the principle is to Just Keep Moving. The scene bulldozes forward until I think it's done. Then, on a different day, I'll sit down to edit the thing, which sometimes includes rewriting whole scenes (hence, drafting bleeds into it; it's a reciprocal process, like a lot of art is). Then I'll go over it again until I can read it through without wanting to change anything — and I won't let myself line-edit until I can do that, because if I blend line-editing with deep-editing, I'll never stop.
I think it's easier to banish the self-critical instinct when I treat drafting as a preliminary stage to the real writing, which comes once you've had something to like... actually think about and chew on for a while. I can't count how many scenes in my work have been improved by sitting there for a few weeks until I think of the perfect gesture to complete them. Drafting is like carving out the block of marble you'll use to make your statue in the rewrites.
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auroraknux · 10 months ago
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I made a post sometime ago talking about how I want to reboot Shadow Boom (my old Sonic Boom AU where Sonic and Shadow switch roles). Like I said, I want to start over from scratch, and do everything differently this time.
These are a few of the ideas I had in mind:
I wanted to start out with a Rise of Lyric rewrite, instead of trying to add it in retroactively like I was going to originally (which was causing some continuity issues).
Shadow's backstory would get a complete overhaul. Originally it was similar to the main series, but with everything turned on its head. However, in the reboot, I wanted to give him a backstory that connects him with the Ancients--specifically Lyric. I wanted to make Shadow's conflict with him personal. The story wouldn't just be about Shadow learning to accept friendship and be a teammate, it would also be about him confronting his trauma. (I have some ideas for him and Lyric's connection, but I haven't quite settled on the details yet.)
Shadow's character arc would be different too. In the OG AU, he was already on board with the whole friendship thing. In this version, Shadow would initially only get along with Tails. He would keep insisting that he is Tails' "mentor", being in denial about the sibling relationship they have. He would push away the others at first, but wouldn't be able to stop himself from bonding with them. The rest of the series would have Shadow slowly getting more comfortable with being in a friend group, and learning to loosen up a little.
The preboot already had Tails being more aggressive and violent, due to Shadow's influence. This time, I specifically want to channel some of Nine's energy into him, lol.
I'd probably handle characterization/character progression differently in general (and maybe change some other backstories).
The only ships I plan on keeping are Sonic x Knuckles, and probably Sticks x Amy. (Tails x Zooey would still be happening in the background, I'm sure.)
I might give the reboot a different name, to avoid confusion with the preboot. A name I've been considering is Shadow Synergy (as a reference to the game that became Rise of Lyric). That might be a little difficult to pronounce though lol. Maybe I'll just stick with the old name.
There would definitely be more changes, but that's what I can think of off the top of my head. I'm open to answering questions!
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bonefall · 2 years ago
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How would Dark Forest cats like Tiger(claw)star or Darkstripe or Thistleclaw react to cats like Morningstar or Cloudberry and Ryewhisker? They’re all in the Dark Forest together so it makes sense they should at least know of each other’s existence. How does the evil DF characters react? Do they have positive or negative opinions of the “innocent” DF cats? What are their interactions like? Have they tried to attack each other? What are the evil DF cat’s opinions on the cats who left StarClan as a way of protest?
Also, can cats in the Dark Forest attack / kill each other? This is an addition relating to the question above.
And lastly, is there any difference in Mapleshade for the Bonefall Rewrite? I know about the Call Mapleshade AU but does anything change with her in the Bonefall Rewrite?
Mechanics of the Dark Forest
I mention the mechanics briefly in the StarClan Morality overhaul, but I'll clarify!
Q: Can Dark Forest cats attack each other?
A: Hurt? Yes! Kill? No. A Dark Forest warrior who gets mortally wounded by another spirit simply poofs back into existence the next 'day.' This is usually how they teach the living how to do killing moves.
(little known fact: DF warriors killing each other was a retcon, Snowtuft is horrifically flayed on-screen in early OotS and I refuse to believe he just walked away all hunky-dory.)
The exception to this is going to be during the Great Battle, which I'm going to make the night of the True Eclipse. For one night only, the Dark Forest warriors are as solid as real flesh and bone and can kill and be killed freely. Sol's eclipse in Po3 was just a god-induced preview of what was to come.
Q: How do they meet each other?
You don't run into any cats you're avoiding, and you will not find anyone who does not want to be found. It's Just Magic.
So, despite the fact that Mapleshade is hunting down the cats she 'dragged down with her,' they don't have to deal with her outside of hearing her yowling now and then, or the horror of hearing pounding pawsteps only to turn around and see no one is there.
This question is super dependent on the cat in question. Ryewhisker, Cloudberry, and Morningstar are very friendly and happily greet the unreasonably damned when they're lonely. Darkstripe is horribly lonely but people tend to avoid him after one meeting. You'd think Ripplestar would get along with Thistleclaw, but he actually ripped him to pieces this one time so they don't talk anymore.
So on that note,
Q: What's the general opinions of the cats on each other?
Morningstar is surprisingly disliked at first, just because most cats tend to get sent to the Dark Forest for being dishonorably violent. A "cowardly pacifist" who's just a normal warrior usually gets into StarClan, Morningstar's in a very unique position. The cats who get to know him usually end up changing their minds, like Ravenwing and Appledusk. Cloudberry and Ryewhisker, obviously, have always liked him.
Cloudberry and Ryewhisker are a lovable old couple. Tigerstar and his ilk hate them, but they're so widely beloved by the other denizens that Tiger would never do anything to hurt them. There's no point and he'd just end up alienating a ton of his supporters.
Mudclaw is WIDELY respected. I think he actually kinda likes being there.
Generally, the innocent cats are taken as proof that StarClan's "not that great anyway, who even WANTS to be there anyway!!" Never underestimate the power of sour grapes... but there's exceptions of course. It depends a ton on interpersonal feelings.
Bonefall Mapleshade
Because I stay close to canon for the rewrite, Bonefall Mapleshade is completely separate from Better Call Mapleshade. I like to imagine the difference is heavily based on her environment though (she isn't a fundamentally 'good person' in either incarnation), so if things had been different, she could have become BCMapleshade.
But, she was condemned to the Dark Forest, along with Frecklewish, Appledusk, and Ravenwing. She played up the crowd for sympathy, and StarClan did give her the chance to say goodbye to her beloved kittens, but she charged into the Dark Forest to hunt down her victims forever more... and she did it happily.
She lied to StarClan, too. She said she would be satisfied hunting down the cats who wronged her kittens forevermore, but she's not. She wants MORE revenge, thinks it's not fair that Appledusk's descendants are still in RiverClan, and so haunts them
She's definitely one of the strongest Dark Forest cats, exactly because StarClan sent her off with blessing. She uses this extra power maliciously, making false signs, pushing Stormkit off a rock, starting illnesses, she's a malignant entity.
The biggest change I'm intentionally making here is giving Mapleshade special power on purpose, and making it so Dark Forest warriors can do real, tangible damage to the living through magical means
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existentialcrisis-24-7 · 2 years ago
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Hey what the best and worst thing about writing your rewrite (currently reading it btw.Very good stuff)
For season 4 (if you ever get to doing that I mean) is it gonna stay similar to how it was in show or is it a complete overhaul in general ?
If so what changes do you have in mind for Believix ,Roxy,the earth fairies, Tir Na Nog and the white /black circle?
Thank you so much for the ask! I'm sorry, I got started writing and couldn't stop but since I'm at my computer I manged to hide this post that got Extremely long under a cut.
Also to anyone reading this who might be curious on my magic system, I have an abridged post explaining it here.
The best part is lore and worldbuilding and the consequences of those because oh boy do I sure love space and weird magic fuckery! I also greatly enjoy getting to expand on the things that were in the original story or at least implied but were never fully explained (such as timeline issues or planets that get brought up once and never again).
My least favourite part is kind of a weird one, it being the characters. You know, the whole reason for the story. But this is kinda because 1. I don’t have much skill in writing people and 2. Because I actually never learned how people work irl for whatever reason and tbh I hardly even know how I work, so having to get into the minds of characters and figure out how they think feel about things is definitely a struggle. Though I wouldn’t have started this rewrite if I wasn’t up for the challenge!
As for Season 4.
Here’s the thing, about season 4. There's a lot I really like about it and it introduced some really cool new elements to the story, but there’s a lot of things about it that I really don’t like, which is why when I first started this rewrite and planned out my general timeline, I made the very controversial decision to swap season 4 and season 2. I'll explain:
If Lord Darkar is basically a god of darkness and has been pulling the strings the whole time then it makes sense that he should be more of a final boss and have a build up instead of being revealed in season 2, doing fuck all and then getting defeated and never mentioned again. I want to build him up as an imposing evil that beings even as powerful as the Ancestral Witches kneel before. Which isn't really a thing that can be done in 2 seasons with the goal of the first season being defeat the Trix and getting Bloom used to the magic dimension.
Season 4 in place of season 2 is a bit more complicated to pull off but it still feels more coherent to me this way because you can introduce Roxy and Aisha together. And even if Roxy is a couple years behind them in school they can at least be trauma bonded together (/j). It also puts nearly everyone on uneven ground, giving them a lot of opportunities to develop and bond with each other as they all learn and adjust. It also helps that the Wizards are relatively lax enemies who aren’t showing up all the time to just generally ruin the Winx's day like the Trix, meaning there’s more room to show that growth too.
so to answer the second question, yes I'm doing season 4, but it is a complete overhaul.
As for the changes I'm making with season 4 plot points, there's a lot of them.
First and foremost, Believix. Due to the fact that season 4 is now season 2, the main 6 are going to be earning charmix (Roxy will earn it in season 3 instead of Enchantix because she is younger and far more inexperienced with magic), though how they do so will have a few tweaks (most notably that they actually know about Charmix prior to earning it). Believix as a transformation might be used in a possible story after the main one (seasons 1-4) ends, though I can say if it is, it will definitely be altered significantly. What I will be using, though again altering, are the Gifts of Destiny for the new season 4. I'm not gonna be elaborate a whole lot about this specific topic right now as I'm still progressively making my way through the first 2 seasons with an occasional thought thrown into the 3rd.
Secondly the Earth fairies, Tír na nÓg (teer-na-nohg, the original Irish spelling that I am Infinitely petty about) and The Wizards of the Black Circle are also Very. different. This would've been brought up in a post about the timeline I have yet to make for whatever reason, but using actual Irish myth about Tír na nÓg and a little bit of finaglling, I did my best to fix the weird timeline issue and because I don't forsee myself making a post about this any time soon I'll just explain it all here (though be warned because while I tried my best to explain things thoroughly (which also lead to a lot of text), I, as someone rewriting a story, have the benefit of foresight and so there are many interconnected plot points and elements that I haven't gotten around to explaining yet that might be a little confusing).
First off, The White and Black Circles. A Circle is a physical maifestation of a magic oath that binds you (and however many others there are) to a cause. Once the cause is completed, the circle will dissolve and you can go pursue other things in life, but until then you are constantly pulled back and even caused some pain if you attempt to stray from the goal. Breaking a circle requires an incredible amount of magic and is still not easy for even the most skilled magic users. "The Oath of the Black Circle" was an oath made by a Clann wizards, a few years before the fall of Domino, with the goal of ridding the Magic Dimension of fairies, who spread themselves out across the Magic Dimension like a plague. They split off into different, efficient factions, effectively eliminating a significant number of fairies and removing their wings (which, in my rewrite, do not grow back and leave a permanent scar). For the most part however, they weren't effective enough and, with the outbreak of war in the Magic Dimension after Domino's fall and the rise of the Company of Light, nearly all factions were eliminated before they could truly complete their goal. All but one. The faction sent to Earth.
Earth is at the edge of the Magic Dimension and the people of that world generally like to keep themselves and their magic to themselves, so it wasn't until the Wizards had already begun attacking the world that they actually discovered what was going on. The Wizards were ruthless in their hunt, hardly stopping at fairies after they discovered they could take the magic from other magical beings too. Earth was completely unprepared for an attack of such voracity and despite Queen Morgana and her Regent Nebula's best efforts to organise an army, they and every other magic being ended up having to retreat through a portal to Tír na nÓg opened by their Nymph, Lugh (Loo), fairy of shapeshifting.
(Before I go on I will just explain that, for each type of magic there is a being who is said to have made it (fire and the Great Dragon), a dimension dedicated to that magic exclusively (water and the Infinite Ocean), and each world has a main magic type that the vast majority of magic beings born there will have (Earth being form manipulation/shapeshifting and that magic being almost exclusive to Earth). The best ways to open a portal to a dimension is to be on a world with that magic and to be a user of that magic)
As everyone retreated to the safety of Tír na nÓg, the Wizards found out and began figuring out a way to use this as a trap, Duman helping to come up with a spell that could seal the portal and prevent anyone from getting in or out, which under the clause of their circle, counted as ridding the Magic Dimension of fairies if they could round them up through the portal. Lugh caught wind of this and him along with Morgana and Nebula managed come up with a spell that would seal away Earth's magic to Tír na nÓg should the portal be blocked off. This, in their eyes, was protecing their magic.
Both plans ended up working, though with some consequences. Morgana and Nebula lost their wings and were trapped in Tír na nÓg with everyone else. Lugh had to stay behind, both to protect Earth and to make sure the spell stuck, though in his efforts to do so, he also lost his wings. The Wizards though, they got caught up in the seal, freezing them inbetween dimensions and between time. Nobody on the other side of the portal knows how things played out beyond that both plans worked, and the rest of the magic dimension having minimal contact with Earth anyway and still being busy with war knew even less, just that Earth somehow lost its magic and everyone magical on it almost overnight.
The magic art of shapeshfting and form manipulation was subsiquently lost until Wizgiz was hired to work at Alfea and he began teaching it in an effort to revive it. It's not an exam subject though so everyone just treats it as a doss class.
The White Circle was formed by Nebula after she gave into grief and rage, swearing along with several other fairies that should they ever get out Tír na nÓg that they will not rest until the Wizards have suffered as they have. This mindset swept through the scared and angry people of Tír na nÓg causing a revolt against Morgana who only wanted to move on past this horrific event. Morgana and her husband were kicked off the throne and became outcasts for many years, enduring the violence of the people that they once ruled.
During this period, Morgana found out that she was pregnant which both her and Klaus were terrified about, knowing this was not a safe place or situation to raise their child but being unable to cope with the idea of losing it. They hid the pregancy from Nebula and the Major Fairies until their baby was born, where they still continued to try and hide. The Major Fairies were beginning to grow suspicious of Morgana and Klaus however and the couple knew that if they didn't do something soon, all 3 of their lives could be in danger.
It was around time that Morgana felt a shift in the barrier, like something had caused a small crack, and with enough magic it could be opened just enough to send a person and their baby through. Nebula felt this too however since she was also involved in the creation of the seal. She assumed Morgana was up to something, probably trying to escape without everyone else, and sent out an order to arrest her. In a panic, Morgana and Klaus agreed that he would leave with their child and he would wear a ring that muddled his memories and generally hid the two of them from magic since they didn't know if the Wizards were still lying in wait for someone to try and escape. It was a risk they were willing to take though if it meant the safety of their child.
And so Morgana was permanently imprisoned within the dungeons of Nebula's new kingdom and Klaus managed to just about get out with their kid. Klaus's escape had managed to open the gap just enough to let the Wizards slowly get out too, one by one.
Every single one of those 6 entered a whole new world when they got out due to the nature of Tír na nÓg. While it had only been 10 years in Tír na nÓg, it had been a thousand years everywhere else. Klaus immediately got to work setting up a life for him and his kid, almost completely forgetting about any life he might have had prior, and the Wizards realised that somehow, they had missed a fairy because their circle hadn't broken. They spent the next 15 odd years trying to get their bearings, figure out what the world is like now, and find a way to locate a fairy that seems to be completely hidden from their magic.
A huge magical event involving the stealing a certain Flame is what drew them to begin investigating Gardenia.
and there you have it! the entire history leading up to season 4 2's events!
Not exactly what you asked for, but I do hope you got something interesting out of this!
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aurorawest · 1 year ago
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3. Do you anticipate writing for a new fandom this year? Which one? 20. Any plans to work on original fiction this year? 24. By the end of this year, you want your fandom to think of you as “that author who _______.”
3. Do you anticipate writing for a new fandom this year? Which one?
I probably will! I have no idea what it will be—almost certainly a book I go feral over. I'd love to write fic for The Kingdoms (by Natasha Pulley) but I felt pretty intimidated by it when I initially read the book last year. Maybe after my reread this year I'll feel better equipped to tackle it.
20. Any plans to work on original fiction this year?
All my actual writing plans/goals are around original fiction. I want to finish my current WIP (big city guy returns to the small town he fled, finds love. also owls!), which I feel like I can get done by March/April? After that I want to work on my archaeology adventure novel, which I pitched to myself as rewriting a preexisting novel but have now decided to just completely overhaul. The only things I'm keeping at this point are the MC living in Philadelphia and the deuteragonist being a Northern Irish guy named James. I'm also feeling a pull towards my riff on You've Got Mail/Shop Around the Corner (this one is on my Ideas Whiteboard as You've Got a Grindr DM lol), my Six Places to Fall in Love sequel, and another one that's called "Cozumel Love and Reef Restoration" on the whiteboard haha. Also I'm planning on writing a sequel to When We Finally Kiss Good Night with new characters. My publisher expressed interest in it, so fingers crossed!
24. By the end of this year, you want your fandom to think of you as “that author who _.”
"Wrote the best Loki/Stephen Strange love story." Lol. Honestly I'm pretty happy to hang out in my corner without wide recognition, but I definitely want my name to be associated with Loki/Stephen.
Thank you for asking!
Fanfic asks for the new year
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definitely-not-a-wasp · 1 year ago
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Do you think Angels shape-shifting is worth keeping if executed differently?
Short answer: no. Angel already has so much going on with her, shape-shifting feels like a cheap bit, and I'm generally picky with shape-shifting— in fact, I'm so picky that I eliminated Eraser shapeshifting all together in my rewrite.
Now, that being said, I'm aware that that answer is absolutely no fun, so I'm going to try to figure out how Angel's shapeshifting could be executed better, and maybe the rest of the flock's powers, too.
Speaking from a general perspective, I have some major problems with Maximum Ride superpowers, and they're as-follows:
They just HAPPEN. There's no trigger, there's no effort on the flock's part to "unlock" them, and there's no explanation given.
They're often these one-off powers that don't maintain narrative significance or further explanations.
Most of the time, they have absolutely no drawbacks.
And looking at Angel's shapeshifting specifically, there are more issues:
Shapeshifting is one of those powers that feels supernatural instead of scientific to me. This is entirely a personal opinion and completely subjective, but for some reason it feels out of place in a scifi book unless it is something established very early on as something within scientific possibility, and not in book 8
Angel already has so many OP powerups, she absolutely does not need more.
With this being said, I think there are a few ways that I could enjoy Angel's shapeshifting (because you asked about MY opinions, and therefore you get to be subjected to Wasp's opinion corner):
A. Link it to The Angel Experiment, and link it to the other shapeshifters in the series (Erasers). She starts shapeshifting as a direct result of experimentation that happened to her at the School, and it comes with the same pain and mental disregulation that shapeshifting causes Ari. This means that it's introduced very early in the series, and feels less disjointed because there's a parallel to Erasers right there. I'd also stick firmly to Eraser-esque morphing, where it's partial at best and, like Ari, looks frankenstein-esque.
B. Link it to StW, when Angel “turns” on them, which still gives it a connection to the School and everything mentioned in part A, with the extra bonus of her undergoing that experimentation willingly, partially for the sake of the con and partially to gain more power.
C. Throw Scifi out the window, lean full into uncanny valley, and slowly reveal throughout the series that Angel is something that's pretending to be human. This would involve a complete plot overhaul, but it's not like Maximum Ride had a cohesive plot, so it could work! Leaning out of scifi and into fantasy, because it's not like there's a hard line between them anyway, solidify that Max and co. were created to save the world from a fantastical threat, not a human one. Then, as the series goes on, slowly reveal that unlike the rest of them, Angel was not a human-animal hybrid created by the School, but something distinctly other that was found by them (and experimented on). By the time she starts shapeshifting, it's not a miraculously gained power, but instead Angel throwing in the rag at the whole "pretending to be human" thing. And from there, Max has to figure out if she's going to count Angel as a threat to the world she's supposed to save or grind her heels in and refuse to stop treating her as her little sister.
And this is already getting long, so I'll do a breakdown/revamp of everyone's powers elsewhere.
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awritingcaitlin · 2 years ago
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Caitlin's Writing Snippet Roundup 2022
Caitlin, what did you spend Christmas Eve doing? Surely it wasn't several hours creating a bunch of snippet canva slides and then putting them into one master image for the purposes of doing a 2022 "art" roundup but make it writing?
(Yes, audience, that is exactly what she did.)
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So basically, I tracked down a scene I wrote each month in 2022 and pulled a short snippet from each. Since I know that's not easy to read, I'll be posting individual images in the thread! I've written a lot this year and am really proud.
This is from CureWIP back in January.
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This is from CureWIP in February! Finally these two admit it.
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CureWIP in March. Let me tell you, finding a snippet from this late in the WIP got difficult. So once again, I am using these lines because I am *completely normal* about them.
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From ViolinHeist in April!
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ViolinHeist in May. A little nod to my own allergy to adhesive.
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ViolinHeist in June! (Writing the heist!) (Okay, heist 1)
Also not Lelia multitasking like a bamf.
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ViolinHeist in July! This one was rough to not get a spoilery section, so have this wonderful exchange about KnifeWife Riela.
Spoilers, she has more than three.
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From SiegeWIP in August! Siege was a rewrite so I was hunting for either a new scene, or a massively overhauled one, which is what this one is.
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From SiegeWIP in September! All of my new scenes written in September are also massively spoilery, so I grabbed this one instead.
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From SiegeWIP in October. This was an old scene that got cut, then reworked and put back in!
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From ViolinHeist Draft 2 in November. This was a reworked scene, with more details added!
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And lastly, ViolinHeist Draft 2 in December. This is a new scene!
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Unfortunately, I do not have a template or anything. This was me bullying Canva, taking screenshots, throwing it into PowerPoint because of the grid-system (I'm on my tablet with no art programs), and then taking more screenshots. But if you'd like to do this too, go for it!
Longer snippets under the cut:
JANUARY
“So let me get this straight,” Private First-Class Tim O’Brian, the assistant, asked Riela. “You come immediately to the kitchen after coming out of the safe room, clear up the dead bodies, and throw on three pots of food.”
“Yep,” Riela replied.
Rinnie opened one eye. Riela was currently hovering over some pan that smelled like garlic. Rinnie might have some of that too if it finished fast enough.
“And you have no military training?” Tim pressed.
“Look,” Riela said, brandishing a wooden stirring spoon in his general direction. “Where I come from, there’s not a lot of mages, especially not theramancers. But it didn’t take me very long to put together that something as simple as a bowl of rice was the difference between a man bleeding out and walking five minutes later.”
“Theramancers aren’t that good,” Tim argued.
“She is,” Riela said, pointing the spoon in Rinnie’s direction.
Rinnie felt her face flush. She put another bite of pasta in her mouth and pretended, with absolute futility, that she hadn’t heard.
FEBRUARY
“Oh fuck you bitch,” Taryn said.
Rinnie paused, actually taken aback.
“I’m covering your ass,” Taryn continued. “My orders had no expiration date and so far, I haven’t gotten new ones. So as far as I’m concerned, I’m still your bodyguard. I have just as much right to be there as Kanjo does.”
Rinnie swallowed. She had no grounds to tell Taryn not to do something stupid when she was literally in the same position.
“As afraid as I am that something is going to backfire on us spectacularly on this one,” Rinnie said. “I’m glad you’re going to have my back.”
Taryn smirked. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
Rinnie felt blood rise to her cheeks and she was glad the relative darkness of the courtyard with only the truck’s headlamps providing light. “You know, no one’s ever told me ‘fuck you’ in such an affectionately derogatory way before.”
“Don’t tell me you’re getting feelings over that?” Taryn teased.
“Taryn, I think it’s time we both admitted that there’s feelings involved.”
MARCH
Kanjo knew that Killian could not have known exactly what he was doing when he told Rin to go after the Queen. Killian could not have known that this was the kind of shit you had to do to keep an oracle out of trouble. Self-inflicted or otherwise.
Maybe he did know.
Maybe he had known that Rin would follow those orders to a fault.
Kanjo didn’t know jack shit about what was afflicting the Schmiedish monarch, but he did know how to handle a tired and weak mage with a migraine. He looked to one side to ensure Taryn had Rin, since she’d frozen for half a second. Telepathic migraine backlash most likely.
“Keep an eye out for the battlemage,” he told them.
Rin looked like she’d collected herself again. Good.
They got to the table and hunkered down underneath. Rin grabbed the Queen’s hands and was probably doing something with theramancy. She’d done that with Ilani when she was a child.
Suddenly, a roaring wind whipped through the room. Kanjo looked out to see the battlemage in the center of the spell. He forced the wind through one of the windows, breaking it. The smoke began to thin. Reflexively, Kanjo put a shield around the five of them.
APRIL
Em couldn’t keep quiet any longer.
“Wait, so you’re suggesting he steals a violin out of a museum?” she flat-out asked, her words leaving her mouth a surprised hiss.
It seemed the absolute irony that she’d spent the better part of the afternoon convincing herself not to just go steal another violin and here were two guys talking about it like it was a standard trade agreement.
Which, technically, many heists were just that.
The gentleman turned to her, seemingly unsurprised at her interruption. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about thieving, would you?” he asked.
“And if I do?” Em asked, choosing her words very carefully.
“Perhaps you could help.”
MAY
“It will need pressure right here,” Lelia said, pointing to the separation. “If there’s not enough for it to affix properly, it will start pulling apart.”
“I can make that happen,” Verity said confidently.
“Well, it’ll save me from getting epoxy all over my fingertips,” Lelia said. “And I probably shouldn’t do that because I’m allergic to it.”
At this, there was a rustle of papers and Lelia looked up at Em, who was, in turn, looking at Lelia over a set of schematics.
“You’re allergic to the epoxy that you’re using to jury-rig my violin back together?”
“Only if it touches my skin,” Lelia said casually. “Not that big of a deal.”
“Oh my gods just let Verity do the thing with the telekinesis,” Em said.
“That’s what we’re doing,” Lelia assured her.
JUNE
Ronan stood guard, but Em could tell much of his attention was on the Fiddle in the case.
“Focus on keeping an eye out,” she hissed.
“I’ve got a ward over all exits,” Lelia said. “I’ll know if anyone crosses them before any of us can see anything.”
“Why wasn’t that mentioned as part of the plan?” Vinny asked.
“I just thought of it,” Lelia said.
“How many spells are you running?” Ronan asked.
“A few.”
Em frowned.
JULY
“Riela, how many knives do you have?”
“Three,” Riela said, nonchalantly.
She was wearing one of her usual skirts, which Em supposed she had at least two hidden in. Her sleeves were loose which could conceal another. Or perhaps she had one tucked into her bodice. She almost wondered if she should suggest that Riela change into pants. All the other girls were wearing pants. But Em had also not seen Riela wear anything else and it was clear she could move around in them easily enough.
Mama Cass gave Riela an approving nod.
AUGUST
“I am ordering you to stand down, Colour Sergeant,” Risingblock said. “You are to report back to medical and remain there until you are fit for duty.”
Risingblock was trying desperately to control a situation. Kanjo wasn’t playing by the rules.
“With no due respect, sir, kiss my ass.” Kanjo replied. “I’m going to find Rin.”
“Pardon?”
“You heard me. Respectfully, your excellency, Sir, fuck off. I’m going to find Rin.”
Before Risingblock could argue again, Kanjo left the room. He needed to find that Sergeant.
“That sounded like it went swimmingly,” Kiyo said, standing as he walked back into the lobby.
He rolled his eyes.
SEPTEMBER
Rinnie nodded then yawned loudly.
“When was the last time you slept?” he asked, knowing the answer.
“When was the last time you slept?” she countered. “I’ve had some of Mica’s awake serum.”
“That I think you’re coming down from,” Adler pointed out. “And you’ve been casting left and right since we started this whole escapade. You’re gonna burn yourself out.”
“What do you know about mages?” Rinnie pouted.
“I’ve seen battlemages and theramancers and loads in between,” Adler said. “They are generally the most well-protected people in an entire company.”
Rinnie nodded, slowly.
“You need sleep,” Adler repeated. “You’re crashing.”
“But there’s still…”
Adler wasn’t arguing with her any longer. He looked up, trying to find Skythorn, but the man must’ve gone to relieve himself. Lodgepool stood against the wall, looking more alert than he probably was. Adler went over to Killian.
“Sir, the mage is tired and belligerent.” Adler jerked a thumb at Rinnie.
OCTOBER
Rinnie saw herself in this girl and she was already running to join the fray.
“She’s a theramancer!” Rinnie interjected. “Don’t give her a sedative, a non-narcotic painkiller will do.”
“And who are you?” asked the older of the two doctors.
“The theramancer from South Town,” Rinnie said dismissively. She turned her attention to the girl. “Have you fixed things before?”
The girl nodded and her face scrunched up in pain.
Rinnie took a second to see exactly how much power the girl had. The answer was a lot. She was still young enough for her power to feel raw and largely uncontrolled. However, if she’d practiced healing before, her body would start healing itself before the bone was set.
“We’re going to help you set your bone, okay?” Rinnie told her. “We’ll get you some painkillers and if you want, I’ll let you help.” The other two doctors spluttered. Rinnie ignored them.
NOVEMBER
Something had gotten fucked up. One of her spells must have failed. She’d pulled a loop too early. Or her redirection of the wards on the case hadn’t been good enough.
Knowing full well she was not going to be able to move down the stairs at any acceptable speed, she slid back out of the violin case.
“Go,” she said, handing it to Em. “Get back to the car and don’t wait for me. I’ll find my own way back.”
“Are you sure?” Em said. “What about the crystals?”
Lelia grimaced. She should have left the ones by the stairs until they’d been sure. “We don’t have another option,” she said. She’d fucked that one up at the very least. “I’ll try to get suspicion off of you if I need to.”
Her mind raced, still trying to figure out where she’d messed up in the exhibit. She was better than this!
Em didn’t argue further. She took the violin case from Lelia and slid into it.
DECEMBER
“So what is it you do?” Em asked.
Izzy’s eyes brightened.
“Oh no, you don’t want to get her started on that,” Lelia said.
“I’m sure it’s interesting!” Em insisted. “Like listening to you talk about emergency procedures for power generators.”
Lelia glared at her, but that was all the ammunition Izzy needed to launch into what she was studying in school.
Somewhere in between genetics and mage birth rates, Lelia realized that getting Izzy to talk about herself meant she wasn’t asking questions to Lelia and Em. Which had been Em’s plan all along.
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vitaliadev · 3 months ago
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On marketing
2024.09.16, 4:36am
The easiest way nowadays to market a game:
-tiktok
-famous twitcher/youtuber review
Based on other titles I observed, animations with characters are a great way to pitch idea even without the game. When it comes to ILL for example, the snipped of both environment and gameplay sells it well.
With my idea it is a bit tricky, because it relies on mystery and intentionally "character-empty". It is a walking sim, so in a video ti would look like location exploration with zero gameplay, so it isn't even clear if it's a game at all. Which isn't bad per se, liminal games are done this way.
But anyway. In current state there is particularly nothing to use for making a video.
But, i can join it with feed of my 3d/UE general stuff, and this also would help me to promote Patreon/ Youtube, my ig (which needs overhaul/cleaning).
I don't have much worry aobut promotion, I think concentrating on realism/VR in Unreal engine is the winning combo, because even few stills I did with Metahumans look stunning. It is more aoubt making the walking sim worth experiencing first-hand. And IO concentrate on walking sim mainly to limit my scope and deliver a title asap, it is a starting point, not the whole game. But the potential expansion depends on my savings/employment/funding. I have no question I can do it, I just have no limitless time/money combo to plan as far as needed for the "ideal" scope.
For now prepare my socials and look thorugh what I already post (unrelated to project), as well as continue development until i make 1 cut scene and incorporate music etc. In January I will start serious promotion on social media.
Another thing, with review: the game relies on mystery plot twist. It is already out there in the demo, so I either need to rewrite the script or keep it as "intro". There is a potentially interesting way to make it an intro, play as a villain, pick your next wife and get multiple endings, but I do not like bluebeard and his victim choice to make it a gameplay. There can be a way to retell the story, but it will be a change in main antagonist persona, and I wanted a classic tale. Overall, too many ways I can change it. I think i need to just slow down completely and develop to perfection the current demo with zero extra layers. Yea, the hook/reveal is out and stuff, but also it is a good portfolio bit. the mix with my other project is why it all written this way, so for now I'll just forget aobut alterations and treat it as a test drive for full development cycle including publishing on steam. Maybe it will be just a small VR walking sim title, exactly the way it is plot wise, zero extras. Even fi it's short, if quality is good, my goal will be achieved (which is showcasing the production level of my studio).
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webspinning · 10 months ago
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what's your favorite oc to write for?
is there any ocs you wish to redesign/rewrite?
who's the oc that would do the best in an end of the world situation?
who's the oc your dying to talk about and what's their favorite thing to do when they have free time?
Oh man I haven't written for a lot of OCs, I'd have to say Pyromania probably? She's really fun and nothing like how I am IRL, so that makes it enough of a challenge to be enjoyable while not having me constantly draw blanks on her like I do with some others.
Lots of characters I want to redesign, I believe only Ikol is getting a full overhaul complete with a rewrite but there might be others. Redesigns though, I have a whole handful. My old designs are...something.
In an end of the world situation [excluding the deities who could just magic themselves out of there] I think it would be Crepe. It's technically a bit of a joke character but it'd be mentally fine and it can handle most shit.
OUGH right now there's several but I'll just pick one 🙏probably Eros, not a lot of people actually know her lore and it's such a fun character. Parts of her are slightly ,, well I'm too shy to share them, so that's why.
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starspanner · 1 year ago
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What a week.
It has been raining for FIVE. STRAIGHT. DAYS. I mean, I like the rain. I missed it when I lived in the Midwest but this is getting ridiculous. Both my indoor houseplants and outdoor succulents are whispering "why?" A leaf falls sadly.
Ray is in full bereavement right now for a dear and close family member and is trying to work but they have overworked her and it's hard and all the old strategies for keeping up aren't helping because her brain is ketchup water. Nothing boils my blood faster than passing by her office and hearing her manager all, "So what strategies can we implement here?" I'll strategize you into the stratosphere, bitch. Lay off.
I met up with some cousins and it was great, but I learned that another cousin has possibly gone weird and delusional in an eerily similar manner to my mother, which is TERRIFYING because what if genetics? Another thing for my anxiety to jump on.
I have come to the conclusion that the 30,000 words of original work I have been hyper-fixated on this past month are a little bit worse than first draft garbage, and the whole thing is going to need a complete overhaul and re-write--and I am thinking that includes the 80,000 words from the previous part. I have decided that what I have written could only lead to the SADDEST ENDING EVER and I lay awake crying over characters who are still perfectly fine and certainly not dead. I welcome the challenge of a severe rewrite but I wish I could have come to this conclusion a couple weeks ago.
We keep receiving boxes from the storage locker of the aforementioned person we are bereft of. It is emotionally exhausting and trying to figure out what to do with this stuff is almost overwhelming. Plus I'm an empath (personality wise, not like the Star Trek chick) and I'm getting all this second hand stress and grief and so I think I just have to accept being tired all the time.
Some sunshine would definitely help.
Now I'm gonna go work the dumbest fanfiction I possibly can, for my mental health.
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sentfromwolves · 2 years ago
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Leaves & apple
🍂 leaves: what does your editing process look like? how does your wip typically change as you work on it?
It's BANANAS! 0/10 do not recommend! Haha but for real, I am someone who will often end up with several rewrites of a manuscript before I feel like I have finally reached the perfect tone, fit of narrative, and character journeys to call it complete. I generally will break it down to look something like this:
First draft: unhinged writing through to the end. I don't edit as I go, I don't stop and polish. I barrel through to the end. This draft is mostly meant for setting and rough character emotional journeys. I don't think I have ever written a first draft that maintains the full structural integrity of its underlying plot throughout my editing process. Second draft/full rewrite: yep. you heard right. I have not done a manuscript yet that does not then enter the full rewrite stage inside of the second draft. This is when I polish the setting that I've developed to really learn the tone that I want the story within it to have. This is also where I'll begin to really polish up the shape of the story, which often has some major overhauls to better align with what I really envision. From then on, I'll generally do revisions inside of a third draft that isn't a full rewrite to get into the lines, clean up the typos and repeat words and minor plot holes. In some cases I'll eventually do another whole rewrite, but I always hope that's done after the second draft. The kind of tldr is that my wip changes dramatically. Sometimes I'll write half of a whole rewrite on a whole different tone just to see what it does. I never have a clear cut process, but the rough shape of what I do have is honestly madness.
🍎 apple: let’s talk about friendship in your wip. do you have any favorite friend/platonic dynamics? any friendships gone sour?
Platonic relationships are some of my favorite things to write. I'm a huge fan of exploring relationships with prehistory before the narrative begins, especially friendships. I generally have a ton of complex group dynamics in my core cast that I'll go absolutely ham with. Some of my favorites are: childhood best friends gone sour or distant, reunited by the plot / childhood best friends that become lovers / platonic soulmates from birth (bonus points if they are born on the same day or with each other literally since infancy) / unbreakable trio that grows up together and will always have each others backs, etc etc
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mrbigbrother · 2 years ago
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A Fifty Shades Of Grey Rewrite. By Jacob Pittman.
Tumblr media
I had written another introduction but Tumblr failed to post it and erased the entire post because Tumblr is run by incompetent morons. So...here's my attempt at re-writing the ever famous ironic comedy of Fifty Shades Of Grey. The project started off with me reading the book and laughing out loud at it. Everything about it is silly. The prose isn't even that bad, it's just what El James's is describing and the strange use of First Person narrative she uses. The dialogue is pathetic. Ms Steele's inner monologue is the most idiotic use of language I have ever read.
As I read on, I couldn't help but think about how I would've written it. Saying to myself "That bit could easily be made stronger with more context." or "This bit needs to be deleted completely and that will improve the flow dramatically." So finally I just said F it, and started doing edits. And I found that this was a good way to practice my editing skills. My overall writing skills have gotten better from just working on this project. Eventually the project turned into a complete overhaul of the original. The changes I made were mainly just improving what was already there by strengthing the prose, making cuts to sharpen the pacing, and only writing new bits occasionally to keep the narrative flowing well. I also kept the First Person narration intact by just reworking the perspective. It's not so immediate and silly like original's train of thought. Now it's more like an older and wiser Ms Steele confessing to the reader about a bizarre and tragic chapter of her life. This version of the story is now less a dumb sex romp, and more of a violent sad erotic tragedy about broken people.
But yeah, If you like what I've done with it let me know and I'll rewrite more chapters. If you have any other work you'd like for me to try rewriting, tell me about it and I might try.
unfortunately i have to post it on wattpad because Tumblr is run by incompetent people.
thanks for reading. Ta Ta - Jake.
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supercantaloupe · 2 years ago
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1, 20, and 30?
Which of your fics would you keep the basic plot of but rewrite completely? - oof well as far as stuff i've posted/published, none of them; i'm usually pretty happy with what i write when i decide to share it, and i don't like to go back and change things much after the fact. there's a few older half-baked fics in my docs that'll probably never see the light of day though that, were i really invested in them still, would see some real overhauling
20. Do you work on a single project or many at the same time? How does that work for you? - longstanding multichapters usually will sit around for a while, waiting for me to get the inspiration/motivation to work on a couple chapters at a time here and there, and i'll often write different smaller things at the same time/on the side. but when i get like, a bolt of inspiration for something, i generally focus on writing That And Nothing Else until it's done (usually oneshots)
30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't. - gd i had this grand notion once of writing a long multichapter that basically retold the entire story of fantasy high sophomore year from the villains' perspective, like speculating on/fleshing out the details of what all went down while the bad kids etc were out adventuring. i had a lot of plans about what happened when and where in the story etc but never actually wrote anything down, and now that the height of my d20 obsession is past i don't think i ever really will lol. but it was definitely fun to think about
[ask meme]
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blarrghe · 3 years ago
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Author asks: 1, 2, 3, and 4.
1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?
I have so many short things in my WIPs from asks and prompts, some I have good ideas for but can't seem to find the energy to complete and a few others are just waiting on the right inspiration. I'm currently just so hooked on writing Matchsies and for NaNoWriMo I figured I'd focus on that anyway. I'll get to them eventually.
2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?
Maybe the unfinished and very silly coffee shop au that I haven't deleted off my AO3 yet because I still think I might get to it. The idea is fun, but I think my writing's improved a lot since I started it so if I did go back to it it would need an overhaul...
3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?
More ore less start to finish. I tend to make point form plans that stretch a fair bit ahead, and sometimes a scene will pop into my head that gets inserted somewhere far off, but I write (and rewrite) the chapters to flesh it out more or less in order.
4) favorite character you’ve written
T...Taren Lavellan.
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