#listystuff

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What a week.

It has been raining for FIVE. STRAIGHT. DAYS. I mean, I like the rain. I missed it when I lived in the Midwest but this is getting ridiculous. Both my indoor houseplants and outdoor succulents are whispering "why?" A leaf falls sadly.

Ray is in full bereavement right now for a dear and close family member and is trying to work but they have overworked her and it's hard and all the old strategies for keeping up aren't helping because her brain is ketchup water. Nothing boils my blood faster than passing by her office and hearing her manager all, "So what strategies can we implement here?" I'll strategize you into the stratosphere, bitch. Lay off.

I met up with some cousins and it was great, but I learned that another cousin has possibly gone weird and delusional in an eerily similar manner to my mother, which is TERRIFYING because what if genetics? Another thing for my anxiety to jump on.

I have come to the conclusion that the 30,000 words of original work I have been hyper-fixated on this past month are a little bit worse than first draft garbage, and the whole thing is going to need a complete overhaul and re-write--and I am thinking that includes the 80,000 words from the previous part. I have decided that what I have written could only lead to the SADDEST ENDING EVER and I lay awake crying over characters who are still perfectly fine and certainly not dead. I welcome the challenge of a severe rewrite but I wish I could have come to this conclusion a couple weeks ago.

We keep receiving boxes from the storage locker of the aforementioned person we are bereft of. It is emotionally exhausting and trying to figure out what to do with this stuff is almost overwhelming. Plus I'm an empath (personality wise, not like the Star Trek chick) and I'm getting all this second hand stress and grief and so I think I just have to accept being tired all the time.

Some sunshine would definitely help.

Now I'm gonna go work the dumbest fanfiction I possibly can, for my mental health.

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I'm sad. I mean, really really sad. The loss of my companion, who had been by my side for a third of my life, plus some failures in my writing work, has left me feeling really bad.

So for a time this blog is going to mostly just be reblogging awesome and funny stuff, often with my compliments, because I feel the best I can do right now is encourage others.

I mean, that's what I've mostly been doing anyway, but I mean to step it up a notch.

If you see something amazing that needs a signal boost, feel free to tag me.