#I think I probably have a strong personality

[fishnapple]

Things people secretly find attractive about you

This reading is about the hidden thoughts of people, about what they secretly find attractive about you. This is entirely subjective, some of these can seem questionable or hard to understand but the human psyche is complex, the root of attraction can lie in unexpected places.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

ONE

Some of the people who find you attractive might have a saviour mentality and a serious personality, they gravitate towards someone who they think is in trouble, sad about life or is a little impractical. I'm not saying that you have these traits, but those people seem to pick up some of your behaviours as signs of these traits.

Some people perceive you as outspoken, you have no trouble saying what's on your mind, your words are direct and to the point, they carry force in them. This can seem aggressive to them. But this is not the kind of being attracted to something strong but more like being attracted to the hidden weakness behind that strong exterior. They think that behind your assertive demeanour is someone insecure, someone who hasn't found their footing in the world yet. They are attracted to that thought, the thought that you're trying to put up a front, trying to be brave. This makes them curious and want to see the insecurities that you're hiding, and to do what? They would want to guide you, they think you need someone to act as a teacher to you, someone you can look up to, and they want to be that person.

Your voice is also attractive to some ears, your choice of words is extensive and have a poetic touch to it. Or you don't talk much and some people find that attractive, they feel that you leave space for others to talk and express and you're not judgmental about it. Some will like having deep philosophical discussions with you. You also have different and unique hobbies and whenever you talk about them, you seem so animated and excited, an intense passion can be felt, and that makes people gravitate towards you like moth to flame.

Some people also feel that you can be quite naive or impractical sometimes, they find this endearing, like seeing someone being protected from the harsh reality of this world. They might project a part of themselves on you. Some of them could have experienced a difficult childhood that didn't give much space for them to be carefree or feel protected. So they look at you and see these traits that remind them of a distant longing for a better childhood.

The idea of being in a relationship with you will seem easy and natural. It's easy to imagine themselves taking care of you and having your attention to themselves. Your attention and affection are elusive and people want to catch a hold of these. Some will want to quickly jump in a connection with you, it would get intense very fast and burn quickly, attraction at first sight is very likely, this is not just about romantic attraction but also includes platonic attraction.

TWO

I think people would immediately feel a sense of power coming from you, much like how our skin warming up when we are around a fire. This kind of powerful energy is dynamic, all-encompassing, intense, generous and bountiful. This attraction that people have towards you is not that secretive, some might feel reluctant to show it or talk about it openly because they feel respectful towards you, they can feel a little intimidated and will just silently watch you, occasionally drop a few compliments when they are feeling brave enough. You know how sometimes people see someone so amazing and awesome but keep their distance and not express appreciation for them, for fear of stating the obvious, they would think that this person probably gets a lot of compliments everyday already so they won't be bothered with them? Some people are like that towards you.

Some people will quietly admire your daring and sometimes reckless spirit, the word daredevil comes to mind, with it comes the attitude of an adventurer. You are so brave and explosive, always ready to explore new horizons, always know how to have fun. Timid and quiet people might secretly find these traits so attractive about you but also feel that you are a little dangerous or too forceful for them. It's not physical violence but it's the speed of you doing things, the energy you put in every action, they feel like they can't quite keep up with that. But it's sexy to them. It's intense and it can bring both order and chaos to wherever you go. This energy is like electricity, it can evoke wild reactions in people.

You smile and laugh a lot? People find your smile and the sound of your laughter attractive, it's warm and contagious. You don't just laugh a lot, you also make people laugh a lot, they like your humour, it's carefree, jovial, sometimes it comes as exaggerated boasting, sometimes it's ridiculous, sometimes it's so humble. It shows a healthy ego with enough boundaries and respect. They can see your humbleness as a sign of strength, you're so confident in yourself and so strong that you allow yourself to be soft and be a fool to elevate people's spirits.

Others will be secretly attracted to your intelligence and wisdom. You seem like someone whom they can look up to and learn from. Younger people really like you, they see you as a role model, someone who knows their own path and is dedicated to it. Some will assume you're really successful and have it all. They wonder if you have an inner calling, a spiritual belief that guides your life, because you seem to abide to a certain rules, some strict regimes and they're curious about it.

THREE

The word "wholesome" just immediately came to my mind. You have a very stable aura that makes people think you have your life all figured out. They might even think that your life is so different from them, so trouble-free, peaceful or exciting, anything but similar to theirs. But that doesn't alienate you from people, they actually like this about you. Like how cat videos restore faith in the world for some people. When they see your life, they get inspired to strive to do good with their life.

Your energy is both fast and slow, steady but active. You have no trouble standing your ground, putting down your foot. You can be very cautious and deliberate when investing in something, whether with your energy, your time, your resources, your emotions. But when you see the chance, the most effective path opening, you don't hesitate to take the action, almost like you have an angel or a wise counsellor behind your back who will give you encouragement to go forward. You are not a reckless gambler but a wise one.

Some people feel very safe and secure when they are around you, you feel like a teddy bear, a shelter to them. Because you are generous when you've decided that someone is worthy of your effort. You don't do things half-heartedly, your determination and devotion are very attractive in people's eyes. This can also mean that some people are quite dependent on you, emotionally, and they hate to admit it, I sense that some of them are quite proud and independent, so the notion that they're dependent on someone does not sit well with them.

You also have an amicable energy, people can sense that you won't get angry easily, you don't take out your ego and wave it at their faces. You talk only when it's necessary and don't demand attention. You seem like a humble person who doesn't complain when things get hard and just focus on solving the problem without expecting applause and praises. People who have a more dominant and fiery personality might find this attractive, as opposites attract. Some can view this as you can be ordered and are obedient, which boosts their ego a lot.

While some people wonder, if you truly are that humble or you're just good at hiding your desires and drives, they might think that you have something to hide, you're not comfortable showing your true self and just go along with what others deem good and nice. Would there be another person who is wild, ambitious and fierce behind your gentle image? Some might want to poke, to push you to see a more aggressive reaction from you. Another kind of people can view this energy as you being detached and aloof, like you don't have the time or energy to care. They secretly find this "unavailability" attractive, it shows you have standards and act accordingly to your own rules and set of beliefs. You seem to elicit a wide variety of opinions from people. If all of them were to have a meeting and voice their thoughts about you, it would make a long list. But they all will have to agree that you are unshakable from your resolution once you set your eyes on a goal.

FOUR

This group is a little similar to the previous group, both have strong earth energy with a hidden element. But your group is more youthful, the energy, at first glance, is softer and more playful. The similarity of the two groups is that people perceive you to be in alignment with your soul's desire. You seem to be living a full life. People look at you and feel the liveliness, the joy of living. Like a child beginning to step out to the world, who hasn't been disillusioned by the ugliness of reality yet. People secretly think you are naive and innocent, a little erratic or unpredictable, but you're not lost, you know where you are going, with a purpose, like a ship heading towards the lighthouse. You make people feel like they should act benevolent to you, because you deserve that treatment. To the people who already have children, you sometimes remind them of their own child, subconsciously. They would want to protect you and see you bloom and prosper.

You have an oblivious attitude towards worldly achievements that people secretly wish they can adopt it themselves. You focus on your self development but you don't put too much weight into being conventionally successful like having a good career, earning lots of money, being famous, almost like you're tired of that. Maybe you're well-known to a certainly extent in a community and some people can be a little envious of that, they may wonder how can you garner attention so easily like that, even when you don't do much, aren't active or just keep to yourself, but fame still finds you.

Your appearance shows that you're taking good care of yourself. You have a neat and simple style that people like. It suits your perceived manner, mild and stable. You notice little details and create a pleasant atmosphere and environment around you. Some people who work with you find these traits really attractive, they could develop a quiet crush for you.

You could have some small obsessions that people who are observant enough will notice. They intuitively sense that you are trying to establish a certain order in your life, a certain routine to balance out the inner emotional turmoil. It's like a storm is raging outside so you try to focus on organising the house to feel safe and distract yourself from the storm. This will attract people, some people are just really attracted to emotional depth and complexity. The more contradicting a person act, hinting a hidden landscape underneath, the more they are attracted.

You can be quite serious when it come to learning, this is where your determination shows itself the most. Teaching you is a delight, but can also come with heavy pressure, you don't want superficial knowledge, you want to go to the depth of things, analysing then committing the information into your memory. This, in turn, can also make you an excellent teacher, but you can be a little stern, surprisingly. You can seem young, but in some areas, you are so serious and committed, you seem like a wise old soul.

FIVE

I pulled only 3 Tarot cards for the previous groups, but your group demanded another one, apparently so many people have so many different opinions about you.

Your energy seems so red and fiery, like a burning fire. There are lots of moths flocking to your flame. They know they would "die", but they just can't help it. I can see that you have a lot of admirers, the majority of them are secret admirers though. There's something about your energy that makes people turn inward and become a lot more quiet and introverted than they normally are. They're contented to just keep a distance and admire you from a far. Have you ever see the process of an artist making their artwork? They are so focused in their own world, they emit an intense aura that keep the audience quiet and holding their breath, the people around them don't dare to disturb that creative process. Some people feel like that with you. You have a creative energy that can touch people, it's both very vulnerable but also strong, something that just is, without external shielding or masking.

People view you as someone who loves fearlessly, you have a reverence for love that borders on a religious feeling. It makes them question themselves, how can a human live so confidently like that, can they live like that too? is their life has a different meaning that they haven't thought of before? You are an inspiration to people, your flame is contagious, it spreads wherever it goes.

Those that are brave enough to approach you will like to talk and debate with you, you have a way to show your views clearly without eclipsing others. They admire your courage to defend your worldview and advocate for good courses. You might have a knack for rallying people, persuading people. People can easily be swept along your passionate energy.

Some believe that you have what it takes to be successful in this world. You have the talents, you have the will, and luck seems to follow you with each step you take. The phrase "Fortune favours the bold" can't be anymore apt than this. You have a balanced feminine and masculine energy that can attract people of different genders. To the world, when you need to accomplish something, you have no problem with exerting will power and strategies, to those close to you, you also hold a nurturing space for them. Some might perceive you as a good parental figure. Some will automatically assume that you're successful and rich, or you have someone backing you up. I will be honest, they're attracted to your abundance, the more lack they feel, the more attracted they are to you.

SIX

I wouldn't say you are shy or quiet, but you're reserved and just want to mind your own business. Your energy feels a little awkward and some people can notice that. Again, it's not exactly because of shyness, but more like a reluctance to come out of your own world. You might be a home-body or someone who prefer their private space a lot. If you can, you just want to stay in one place and live quietly, contentedly, but alas, you have to go out and interact with the world, and I do see some life circumstances that would force you to be out, to be more visible to the world. If you are a leader or someone with authority in the workplace, you will be a reluctant leader, but a good one nevertheless. This makes you seem more down to earth and relatable to many people.

You're resistant to disturbances and chaos. You want simple things, things that are essential for a good and tranquil life. A fresh meal, a walk on the beach, tea time with friends maybe enough to make you happy and feel fulfilled, also a heavy pocket full of money to prepare for rainy days. You're risk adverse, that's why you're always well prepared, stable and can shoulder lots of burdens. People can't help but feel peaceful and safe around you, they feel protected. That is, if they managed to get in your inner circle. You're selective of whom you interact and associate with. People like this pickiness of yours, it makes them feel privileged to be selected. You're picky but you're not stingy or haughty, everyone can still see that you're friendly and open enough.

As much as you always try to stay out of chaos, chaos seems to like you and follow you around. Some bizarre and unexpected events might happen that are totally out of your control. You life is somehow attached to invisible strings that pull and lead you to some pretty interesting experiences. Usually these experiences can bring positive changes into your life, if you're open to them. Those who witness these events will find them oddly fascinating. Magic seems to be real around you. You may have a strong manifesting power, whether you're conscious of them or not. You can literally create your reality through your power of imagination and words. So be mindful of what you are thinking and imagining.

[maruflix]

YOU ARE SO GORGEOUS (IT MAKES ME SO MAD!)

𝜗𝜚 synopsis: hoshina is unfamiliar with the concept of personal space. unluckily for you, the huge crush you have on your vice captain is the least of your worries when he keeps catching you absolutely losing it. / REQ.

contents: female reader, reader is an officer in the third division, fluff, stoic reader, reader cannot express her feelings, not-so-oblivious hoshina, kissing

word count: 2.0k

When any kind of problem arises, the Third Division knows three things for sure:

Go get Captain Mina Ashiro to solve the problem for you.

If she’s busy with other important stuff, Vice Captain Hoshina Soshiro will do.

Should the Vice Captain be unavailable as well, look for Platoon Leader Y/N instead.

You don’t mind being busy— you’re happy to know that your fellow soldiers look for you in times of need. The thing is, sometimes people look for you to ask you where the Vice Captain is.

... and you hate Hoshina Soshiro.

It might surprise people to know that you’re able to feel emotions as strong as hate. You’re a naturally stoic person after all.

No noise readies you, no words shake you out of yourself, no person makes your emotions fluctuate — but Hoshina Soshiro is the only exception.

When other people would get discouraged to get close to you because of your lack of emotions, Soshiro is always at ease near you, like the two of you have been friends for a long time.

The way he smiles, the way he runs a hand through his hair, the way he stands— he’s so gorgeous it makes you so mad.

Like right now; the sound of blades clashing against each other rings in your ears as you try hard not to gape at the glorious display in front of you.

Kafka, huffing and puffing with sweat all over him as he desperately tries to keep up with his opponent, while Soshiro moves around with grace, delivering blows that seem so elegant and yet is enough to make Kafka stumble around like a puppet.

You watch, unsurprised, when Kafka falls down ungracefully, butt planted on the floor. Soshiro’s mouth starts moving (probably giving him some pointers) but all you can think about is how perfect he looks as a bead of sweat trails down his neck.

“Hey, it’s your turn.” Kikoru elbows you rather hard, making you snap out of your trance. Your face falls in an immediate deadpan as you stand up, passing by a dejected Kafka.

Soshiro smiles at you, seemingly unaffected by his earlier spar. “Oh no, I’m gonna have to open my eyes for this.”

He says it loud enough for everyone to hear and your heart leaps.

The spar lasted longer than the one with Kafka, but it still ended up with you losing. Well, there’s a reason he’s the Vice Captain and you’re the Platoon Leader.

As a competitive person, you should be angry for losing— but how could you, when Soshiro pulls you up and pats you in the back?

“You’re a great fighter. I might hafta to sit down and take a break.”

The poker face you successfully maintained should’ve given you a goddamn Grammy.

Soshiro spots you in the cafetaria and immediately makes a beeline to your table.

“’scuse me, coming through!”

The surprise in your eyes is gone as quickly as it appears. The entire table greets him warmly while you continue to eat. Soshiro smiles, sitting down next to you as Kafka scrambles to get out of his way.

Reno is trying to strike up conversation, but his only focus is on you. You seem so unconcerned about everything. He likes that about you too, but he wishes you’d let down your guard with him. How could he know whether you liked him or not? — not that he’d stop trying to get your attention.

Soshiro eating the rest of his apple while he watches you slurp down the last remains of your soup. Even when you eat, you look absolutely divine.

Just then, a lock of hair falls down your face, hanging dangerously close to your food. He instinctively reaches out to brush it out of your face.

“Whoops, wouldn’t wanna get that in the soup.”

Soshiro is aware of the stares he got from his subordinates, but seeing those beautiful eyes of yours look at him makes it worth it. Shocked, he watches as your eyes flash through different emotions before finally returning to its usual calm state.

“E-excuse me.” You didn’t give him time to speak before standing up and walking away.

“Wait!”

Did he just hear a stutter?

You walk fast, but Soshiro managed to keep a comfortable distance away from you. He lets you put away the tray of food and is about to call your name when you disappear inside the toilet.

He halts, opting to wait for you, resting his back against the wall. Then he hears something weird.

“AARRGGGHH!!!”

Posture immediately straight, his body involuntarily jerks to the sound of the scream, wanting to check out if you’re okay. Because it’s the sound of your scream.

He doesn’t have to, because at that moment the door swings open and you walk out of the toilet.

Red-faced.

He’s still standing in stunned silence when you slap a hand to your mouth and run away.

If Soshiro wasn’t worried before, he’s definitely worried now.

You keep avoiding him throughout the rest of the day. When you cross paths, you would refuse to look at him in the face. You’d only give him a halfhearted salute before fleeing.

The thing that bothers him is how hot and bothered you look. Are you feeling under the weather? Soshiro knows how hardworking you are, so he’s worried that you’re forcing yourself to work even though you’re sick.

“Platoon Leader, come here for a sec.”

You begrudgingly make your way to him, still not looking at him in the eyes. Fidgeting, sweating, and looking very, very bothered.

“Platoon Leader, are you sick?”

“No, sir.”

“Excuse me.” is his only warning before he presses his palm against your forehead.

Surprisingly, your temperature is... normal?

“W-what the-” Flinching, you make a big reaction and jerk away from his hand. Still, your face is calm. “If that’s all, I’ll take my leave.”

Soshiro sighs as you speedwalk away. Temperature aside, he’s 101% sure that you’re sick. After all, why else would your face be so red?

Unless...

You’re dreaming. You’re dreaming. You’re dreaming. Because there is no goddamn way Soshiro just touched your face.

You have no clue where you’re walking. You just wanted to get away from the only person who’s able to make you lose your cool. So you head outside, to the gardens. You pass by Haruichi on the way there.

“Hey, have you seen the Vice Captain around?” He calls out after you, making you want to scream in frustration.

Can people stop making you remember the existence of the drop dead gorgeous Hoshina Soshiro?!

“I don’t know! Maybe China!”

Haruichi looks very confused. You brush past him.

Full of nerves and unsure what to do, you finally sit down on a bench to catch your breath. You can still feel his fingertips on your forehead and see the worried expression in his handsome face.

He’s worried about you. You’re about to bury your head in your hands and squeal when you catch sight of the very same man walking towards you.

Like a cue, the mask is back on. You wanted to pat yourself in the back for how quickly you’re able to gather your composure. You’d rather die than embarrass yourself in front of your crush... although you just did that when you walked out to a surprised Soshiro.

He didn’t hear you scream, did he?

Did he?

You stand up as Soshiro stops next to you. He’s smiling his usual smile, but something is eerie about it. Like he knows a secret.

“Can I test something?”

You blink once. Twice. Then you nod.

“Walk with me.”

You follow him, puzzled.

Suddenly, he loops a hand around your shoulders.

Your heart misses a beat and you nearly stumble, but you catch yourself with sheer willpower. The stoic expression is getting harder to maintain, the smile on your lips itching to blossom.

“What... why?”

There are chills running down your back when you look up at Soshiro. His smile is wider now, like he absolutely knows a secret.

He absolutely knows.

You break free and run for your life.

Soshiro feels kinda guilty now. He didn’t mean to fluster you so much; he just felt so happy and flattered that he actually managed to make you blush.

That’s why he’s making his way to your quarters, hoping to apologize for teasing you too much today. Soshiro has loved you for many months now; he has no problems taking it slow until you’re ready to trust him with all your emotions.

The door is slightly ajar, so he pushes it open quietly, not wanting to alarm you. He’s about to knock on it to signal his presence when he sees the state you’re in.

Facing away from the door, your body is half slumped on the floor and half on the bed. You’re clutching a giant pillow to your face.

“AAARRRRGGGMMMM” Without warning, you scream, the sound drowned out by the pillow you’re burying your head into.

His mouth drops open but it quickly stretches into a smile.

You raise your head, revealing your blushing face, before slamming it down on the pillow again. A string of unintelligible noises follow soon after.

He clears his throat.

You pause mid grumble and the air is still. Slowly raising your head, you turn your head to the door. The two of you lock eyes.

“Vice Captain! Get out!”

Instead of getting out, Soshiro lets himself in and closes the door behind him. He chuckles at your terrified expression, finally seeing an emotion other than complete indifference.

“So you’re really not sick? Just blushin’ around me?”

You gape, looking very offended but unable to counter him.

“Oh, good. I thought my crush was unrequited.”

Your eyes widen.

“Hey, can I kiss ya?”

“Wh-what?!”

“Sorry. You just look so cute right now. Is that a no..?”

Soshiro moves closer, now kneeling down in front of you. A teasing smile is still present on his features. Gently, he strokes his thumb down the right side of your lips. Gauging your reactions.

You didn’t want to give him any, but even a great actress needs her breaks. A shy smile breaks through your cold facade, and Soshiro beams.

“Oh, this is so cute. I must kiss ya now.”

You don’t know where to look, eyes flitting everywhere but him, but you let him lean into you until you can feel his breaths against your skin.

“W-wait,” you gasp meekly. Soshiro’s other hand is around your waist now. “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

Soshiro shivers in anticipation. “That’s okay,” he whispers and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, “just follow my lead.” And he presses his lips against yours.

It’s so cute how shy you are, so much so that you’re trembling under his touch. He’s pretty sure he heard a whimper when he tightens his hold on your waist. It takes everything in him to control himself when you tilt your head back, parting your lips a bit further for him.

You don’t know how long time has passed because your head is still in the clouds even after he pulls away. It’s embarrassing how a simple kiss leaves you a mess; your breaths ragged and cheeks flushed.

You, who’s usually so stoic, calm and composed, looking like this under him—

“I want to say that I’ll stop teasing you, but I would be lying.” Soshiro grins when you bury your face in his chest.

You’re sulking a bit now. How dare he make you look like a complete idiot. “Whatever. You won’t get another reaction out of me anyway.”

“Is that a challenge?”

After that, he tries to get your attention every time you’re in the same space as each other. He’ll tease you, praise you, sling an arm around your shoulders, hold your things out of reach, all that just to get a rise out of you.

Of course, everyone knows he’s down bad. He acts like a schoolboy trying to get attention from his crush in all the wrong ways. So now even more people ask you about Soshiro; where he is, what he’s doing, like they’re completely convinced you two are an item.

Well, you are.

But with so many people teasing you about your relationship, it’s getting hard to hide behind a calm face. You smile a lot more often, especially when he’s around. Your reputation as the division’s most calm and composed soldier quickly fades into memory. At least you got yourself a hot boyfriend...?

Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

taglist: @bgyuus, @plsmarrymehioriyo, @o-sachi, @vashyuu, @moon-cakiie, @17020, @eeiternity, @ryescapades

[curtins]

going to a cafe with the jujutsu kaisen men a/n: (based on irl experience with a wide variety of subpar men) 😭 gojo's order being my order...aurkay!

gojo — def the type to walk in and push his sunglasses down to check out the place. his order def goes something like a venti caramel macchiato with almond milk, two pumps of vanilla and two pumps of hazelnut, and a little caramel swirl at the top. smiles and is friendly to all the baristas, he's never rude to workers. tells the barista is gojo, with an o. whoever's unfortunate enough to be stuck next to him is doomed to hear him wax poetic about how coffee beans are the soul of the earth, and its 'really deep, you wouldn't get it lol'. if you order a black coffee, he'll ask if everything is okay at home. can't leave the cafe without ordering a $8.00 sweet treat and then wondering why all his purchases are adding up

geto — walks in as if he's a regular and tells the barista that he'll have his 'regular'. the barista has never seen him before. probably orders a flat white, double shot of espresso, no foam. he always says he doesn't have to pretend to like foam because he's chill like that. he'll ask for the wifi password, but only so he can show off how good he is at working in a cafe, but his ass is on coolmathsgames. will nod and pretend to care about whatever you're saying but he's still thinking about coolmathsgames. will also drop random metaphors like 'life is just like coffee. you either take it strong or with sugar.' you tell him to save the bad metaphors for his cult.

nanami — doesn't wander or hesitate when he enters the cafe. checks his watch every five minute. orders a black coffe, medium, and adds one packet of sugar. he's pretty good at ordering what he wants efficiently, and it leaves even the barista worried. he's here to relax so don't ask him any unnecessary question because this man needs a break. actually enjoys eavesdropping on people's conversations, and ends up tilting his angle to snoop on gossip better. avoids small talk like its another curse. you can't really make him react too much in a cafe, unless you spill coffee on his freshly pressed suit. will be passive aggressive and suggest that the cafe chooses better music. likes a good, dependable pastry. apple danishes are a favourite.

sukuna — prefers tea, without debate. but still orders relatively normal things. likes a good latte with chocolate syrup. but the king of curses kinda has to look cool, so he powers his way through a black coffee, with no sugar or milk. you swear his eyes are tearing up as he pretends to like it. after every sip of coffee, he sighs really loudly and it gets a bit annoying. even after you ask what's wrong, he says its nothing and continues to sigh loudly. nanami may be the one who eavesdrops, but sukuna is the one who interferes. will turn around in his chair to give unsolicited advice, but he genuinely thinks he's being helpful by telling schoolgirls to buy cleavers to chop their friends' hands off. is mildly offended when they move tables and give him weird looks. passes loud comments on other people and tells couples when he thinks they will breakup. attempts to connect to the wifi three times before threatening to burn the router.

toji — the barista asks if he wants a pastry with his drink and he asks 'do i look like the type of man to eat a muffin?' but if they're free, he'll take two. sits with his back to the wall like he's in a mob movie. god help anyone who sits too close to him, he really just doesn't trust anyone in his personal space. doesn't even acknowledge the existence of others until he's had at least three sips of his coffee. you could tell him his house is on fire, and he’d just mutter that he can't do anything about it now. types the wifi password on his phone with one finger like a caveman. tells parents to 'control their spawn' but entertains kids with coin tricks when no-one is looking. sometimes struggles to fit the lid on his go-to cup, and refuses to asks for help. wrestles with it for five minutes, getting increasingly annoyed before rushing out the door.

choso (this one is dedicated to pookie @creamflix) — frowns at the menu like it's written in an ancient language, like wtf is affogato. if someone behinds him coughs, he scolds them and says he's going as fast as he cans. spends 10 minutes deciding and then panics at the last second, tells the barista to give him whatever. if the barista asks any follow up questions (like milk preferences) he genuinely short circuits, "what kinds of milk are there?" he's genuinely baffled that there are options beyond 'cow.' he'll point at a pastry and ask what's in it. the barista explains and he replies with 'okay i trust you.' always ends up picking a wobbly table by accident and spends 15 minutes trying to fix it with folded napkins. if someone asks to share his table, he'll look like they just asked for his kidneys. if someone asks for his opinion on his pastry, its always a dumbass cryptic answer like 'its interesting.' uses his phone on full brightness and everyone can see him look up 'how to pronounce cafe au lait.' cleans up after himself because he's nice like that. if the staff get his order wrong, he never says anything even if it tastes like dirt.

[cherie-doll]

Cherie luveeee. Wish you good and healthy, beautiful.

I got someting.

You know those retired dog officers that have been trained for jungkies and bombs?? We adopt them while cod characters are away for deployments, because we're lonely and literal scary dog privileges hehe.

And when they're home, our dog gets alert and quite relentless by the smells until we pay the good officer jerky and 2 ice cubes.

It's messy, but hope you understand what I mean.

Dw i see your vision and tried to execute it

⪩⪨ price, ghost, soap, gaz, roach, alejandro, rudy, phillip graves, makarov, keegan, könig, horangi, nikto

No cuz imagine missing that security, yearning for those big strong muscle arms wrapping around you and engulfing your body in theirs >.<

BuT, you’re alone at home, that emptiness roaming the halls and dark rooms as the orange glow of the afternoon sun seeps through the blinds and the most awful melancholy hits you. You grab your keys and go out for a drive not being able to stand the loneliness anymore.

You’re driving around downtown and spot a shelter, you saw a poster on the glass display for cats. Only to walk in and be told that they’ve all been adopted, you’re ready to walk out until a yelp can be heard from one of the kennels and see a German shepherd watching you with his big brown eyes, head laying on his paws. Your heart squeezes and it’s as if you’re made for one another. Without another thought you ask for it and after a few moments you’re walking out with your new companion.

You spend the next couple of weeks bonding with the dog, taking him out on walks and sleeping peacefully on your bed despite your military bf/husband gone because you know the canine sleeping on the bedroom floor will protect you. You even go out a little more often than you would when they're on deployment because you've got your guard dog scaring away those with wrong intentions but is secretly a sweetheart within.

And it isn't until your partner comes back, late at night, that your dog raises his head, ears attentive and listening to the footsteps of heavy boots probably leaving dirt all over the clean entrance hallway and making their way up the stairs to the bedroom. He can sense a strange new smell, much stronger than your subtle scent. The overpowering new scent awakens his instincts and he's at the door in an instant growling and waking you up.

Much to the confusion and frustration of the dog, you're not as wary as you should be. You freely open the door and welcome the soldier who's been away for too long into your arms.

Price would be too engulfed in your embrace to notice the dog growling lowly at him. It would only be when he leans down to put away his shoes and place the duffle bag slung over his shoulder that he'd come face to face with the dog's snout sniffing him over. He'd ask where you got it from and once the dog realized there is no threat they'd get used to each other quickly.

Simon wouldn't appreciate the hair the dog has left on the side of the bed that's usually his. But he commends you for being smart and getting a dog, and not just any fluffy golden retriever, no you got a dog breed he can trust will use the best of their instincts to take care of you. He'll be at ease knowing he's not leaving you alone anymore.

Johnny would have a close call getting bitten by the doggo. Maybe warn him, yeah? But he's all over the dog, petting it, asking what's his name. And he most likely wouldn't get much sleep despite arriving late home. The dog is all excited about a new person in the house and be all over him.

Kyle tries his darn best to earn that dog's trust and convince them he's not a threat. It's not that the dog smells bad intentions from him, he just doesn't like the proximity between the both of you. Noses in between you both while you're giving Kyle a kiss on the lips. After a few treats, he got the dog to calm down and sit at the far end of the room, keeping an eye just in case lol.

Gary loves dogs and tbh he thinks this was a surprise you had planned for him. The dog can't even do his regular routine of sniffing the person because Gary is hugging him, petting and scratching behind the dog's ears. The dog loves the attention though and quickly warms up to him.

Alejandro would get a good scare at this big dog standing in the doorway watching him. Would curse loud enough his mother could surely hear from her grave and rise to throw a chancla at him. He's tired, has had a long drive and in his usual good mood would dote on the dog but not when he's on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion. Doesn't even say anything much after that and just grabs you, collapses into bed with you in his arms and falls asleep.

Rudy's first thought is that a stray dog got in and would be concerned for your safety but then sees the collar around the dog's neck and know right away he's part of the family now. And no matter how tired he is, Rudy would still sit there and with the dog resting on his lap, would ask you how you got him, where, what's his name, how you've been feeling after adopting him, etc.

Phillip doesn't pay mind to the dog, even if its growling at him and even baring teeth. Plenty of people do that to him at work, he's used to it. Man has two things in his mind since pulling into the driveway; you and rest. He takes a quick shower, doesn't even bother putting actual clothes on and just falling asleep in a towel wrapped around his waist. The dog just standing next to the bed at Phillip's side, smelling his face curiously.

Makarov isn't surprised to be greeted by dogs at the door because he's probably already owned a few big dogs but they're usually kept outside. Kicks his shoes off, which distract the snarling dog who goes after his shoes only seeing a new toy. He goes right over and starts getting ready to sleep until he turns to face your side confused to see the dog in between the both of you with his shoe in his mouth.

Keegan couldn't care less, he has no thoughts at the moment. His eyes barely register the dog who won't stop thrusting his nose into his face when he leans down to pull off his boots and socks. He just grumbles something and pushes the dog away who follows after him. He kisses you goodnight or hello, he doesn't know anymore, gives the dog a pat on the head and drifts off to sleep.

König the type to just stand there staring at the dog who stares right back at him. Surely, with how sleep deprived he is he must think it's an hallucination or maybe he's asleep and already dreaming. Reaches out, letting the dog sniff his hand and when he feels the warm breath from the dog's nostrils tickle his hand he simply nods approvingly. He'll make friends with the dog tomorrow.

Horangi would probably set off all of the dog's danger sensors because of his nature of doing things. Like he gets home, slams the door shut, his heavy footsteps making their way to you, throwing his duffle bag on the floor and tackling you (lovingly ofc duh) would make the dog think you're getting attacked.

Nikto would start asking you all sorts of question, interrogating you almost. Asking where the wolf came from, why did you get it, did you not feel safe to wait until he came back? He's asking more because he's genuinely concerned and wants to know if something specific happened that made you feel like you needed a dog as big as the one currently stuffing his nose into the pockets of his jacket.

[your-internet-parental-unit]

I totally didn't find others doing this while searching for specific ships and decided to do it myself lol

All of the above/j Purple.

Ohhh that arc has so many good cats ughhhhhh it's hard to pick. In no particular order, Redtail, Firestar, Cloudtail, Brightheart, Ravenpaw

Nope, I think she was fine without one, and Dovewing is my baby, and her story wouldn't be the same without her power

Silverstream, I have to say

God, I don't actually know- GreySilver have sentimental feelings associated with them but I don't really have any strong feelings towards a lot of them(Unless you count the mention of Mousewhiskers crush on Minnowtail, then that one because I love Mousewhisker)

How fake of a fan am I if I say I didn't keep up with that? But I do know the designs and I'mma have to say either Lionheart or Longtail

I think it depends on how serious the RP is, sparkle designs can be a lot of fun but I usually do more "serious"(slightly more canon aligned) rps so my designs lean more realistic

Ok I joined deviantart really late in the game (I've only been on there for 3 years and I barely use it) so I think it's been Mushroom1Mack2 the entire time, but I used Amino a lot more, and I went by RadioAngel101 there

Jayfeather x Hazeltail is probably the closest to a crackship I have (I swear I think I'm the only person to ship them) or Brambleclaw x Leafpool for an AU (actually I have a lot of AU ships that probably count as crackships)

Her name was Speckledsong, and she was actually my WC sona for a while. She was a russet colored she-cat with black speckling/spotting along her back and face with a black tail tip and grey-blue eyes. She was a warrior of my fan clan Hawkclan and she had the ability to feel when something was right/if she was doing something right by a sensation of water running over her (very specific I know). I ended up revamping her into my OC Nightshade.

Bestie my brain does not remember that far back. The oldest AMV I remember liking was the My Mom Breezepelt AMV by Orion Fujiwara, and that was posted in 2015

He had POTIENTAL. He coulda been GREAT. But NO THEY MESSED HIM UP AND NOW I HATE HIM

How dare you not let me include skyclan/j/lh Windclan > Riverclan > Bloodclan > Shadowclan > Thunderclan

Dovewing 100% I love her she's my baby

YAY DAISY

I did not! I didn't have my own PC or laptop til last year, and before that I used aesthetic pics I found on pinterest for phone and tablet backgrounds

I think I'd be a former kittypet named Fluffy who joined Skyclan and ended up with a name like Fluffyheart or Fluffyflower or maybe even Fluffyash

I gotta say Mothwing. I love my atheist med cat

I never intentionally named any cats after canon characters, but I did give some feral cats around my grandparents house warrior names(Fernflight, Sproutkit, Owlkit, and Frecklestorm are just some of the names I gave cats)

I'm sorry I gotta pick Swiftpaw, I made an entire AU out of him and his littermate Lynxkit living to become warriors together, I have to choose him

Old School Warriors Ask Game

I haven’t made one of these before but I thought it would be fun >:3c I couldn’t ask obvious ones like “who do u think the 4th cat is” but I tried to keep these centered on heated discussions around 2009ish

1. what color is scourge’s collar?

2. top 5 the prophecies begin characters

3. should hollyleaf have had a power?

4. millie or silverstream?

5. favorite forbidden romance

6. favorite sss warriors design

7. realistic or sparkle designs for roleplay?

8. first deviantart username

9. favorite crack ship (ex. revengeshipping)

10. describe your first warriors oc

11. favorite amv prior to 2014?

12. is brambleclaw a good main character?

13. rank the clans (excluding skyclan, including bloodclan)

14. dovewing or ivypool?

15. daisy: yay or nay?

16. did you ever use fanart as your pc wallpaper?

17. what would your warrior name be and what clan would you belong to?

18. favorite medicine cat? (cutoff being oots)

19. did you name/want to name a pet after a character?

20. swiftpaw, gorsepaw, or shrewpaw?

[diy-dynamite]

Can you write for mc for homocipher ? I know it's us ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ but make the reader and the mc a separate person

Omg. This is so amazing

Tysm for requesting this, I'm gonna go free reign with how I perceive our MC!!

YOU&ME

Adami x GN Reader

Contents: spoilers for Homicipher :3, canon typical violence, & this is based purely off my personal view of her!

******

YOU don't know how you got here. You don't even know where you are. Then suddenly, it hit you.

Not realisation.

A crowbar.

...

A deafening pain hit you upside the head. Your heartbeat throbbed at your skull. You clasped a hand over it, trying to cower from the harsh ringing. "Agh... what...?"

You glanced down—you were on a pale mattress. A hospital bed, perhaps, and a dirty one, at that.

"_ _. _ _ _?" (You awake. You're okay?)

You whipped your head around to see a silhouette of white and dark splatters—a person in a raincoat. At first glance, she looked human.

"_ _ _," she said again. (You are safe.)

The language she spoke didn't feel human. And now that you looked closer, you spotted the red rashes and dried blood on her arms and the splatters on her raincoat... was blood.

You flinched back when she tried to reach out to you, but the abrupt movement only did your headache worse. "Who are you?" You hissed, trying to get the necessary questions out of the way. "Why did you...?"

"_ _ _ _," another voice chirped. (They not understand language.)

That one scared you more. On all fours, hair covering his eyes, blood dripping where his eyes should be.... You nearly fainted if it weren't for the whiplash you experienced due to the one in the raincoat suddenly speaking in your language.

"Sorry," she said, dropping her crowbar, a loud and painstaking clang echoing throughout the room. "Can't... er," she huffed. "Can't remember how... speak. Your language."

.

.

.

You blinked. "Sorry?"

"Can't—!" she sighed. "Okay, okay. I teach... uh... our language." She gestured between herself and her crawling friend.

You were hesitant. She had a crowbar. He... was probably a human eater. She's probably a human eater, too!

You have to get away.

"I... I don't think you have to," you stammered, scooting further up on the bed.

She stepped closer, and you quickly got off the bed to the right, using the mattress as something to keep distance between you and the two horrors standing before you.

She stepped around the bed, blocking your path, and the one on the ground still stayed by the bed.

"We help," she said. You didn't believe a single word she said. "We help."

The raincoat girl reached out, and you couldn't stop your instincts from jumping over the bed and swinging the door open, running like death itself was in full chase for you.

The urge to look back was too strong, so you did—only briefly—and your heart dropped to see the girl in the raincoat running after you.

You cried out for them to stop, running even faster. As you drifted into a corner, you bumped into another, probably terrifying creature. You didn't stop to see. All you knew was he was tall and wore white, too, and was holding something orange with a tail.

He ended up nearly dropping the tailed orange thing, and you heard distant complaining in the same language the girl was speaking.

A hand yanked your collar back. You choked, a strained yelp skidding out of your throat. The panic only sunk further in your gut when you couldn't feel the ground at your feet anymore.

"Ghk—! Put me down! Help—!"

You were quickly silenced once you were face to face with a horrifying, red-eyed, and narrow-browed glare. "Shhhhhhhh."

If you could melt into whoever was manhandling you, you would. Wait.

Her hands were at her sides.

Only now did you fully realise that someone else was holding you up.

You tested your luck and peeked behind you, and it was the silver silhouette, but up close. His eyes were wrapped with a blood-stained bandage. He smiled, muttering something, but you quickly tried to squiggle out of his hand.

"Stop," the girl sighed. So you did.

She put her hand on her hip and gave you a look. "We friendly. Stop."

"You don't look like it!"

"Then I prove it!" she cried, clearly frustrated. You chose to hold your tongue, not wanting to push her buttons further upon seeing her grip tighten on her crowbar.

Nodding, you mimed, zipping your mouth shut and locking it.

The girl nodded in return. "Good. Now come." Her fingers curled under your shirt's neckline, and she pulled—you had no choice but to follow.

...

So... they are friendly.

You sat on your bed on the far back, listening to the raincoat girl talk.

You'd asked her name before, but she claimed not to remember. That's fine—you didn't seem to remember yours, either.

It's almost sad. Almost. Because you lost yourself. So did she. So did the others, if you assumed correctly. You still had a couple of cups of humanity in you, but she? She had less.

If you had a cup, she had a drop, and it was drying out too fast.

They're their own creatures. They're not human, but they're not completely lost—they have an ounce of what feels like human nature. You're all lost. Not just you, not just her, but everyone else, too. At least, you think so. Everyone here felt human before. You don't know for sure, though, your ability to think is losing its complexity.

You figured out four things during your stay (which you also don't remember; it feels like you've always been here):

The only thing on your minds' are to survive. Some have additional things, like having fun or learning, but for you and the raincoat girl, and the crawling one, too, all you want is to get through the next few hours.

You don't know when a day starts or ends, either, so you've got only your hunger to tell you whether a day has passed. Even then, your hunger spikes only grow more often than not.

Still, you smiled.

At least here, you're home.

That's what the raincoat girl tells you.

"You home," she whispered in your ear as you laid down to rest, curling up next to you with gentle hands playing with the loose strings of your shirt's neckline, her head closer to your chest, as if she was relishing in hearing the last breaths of your life drum on your ribcage.

"You and I," she said. "Home."

Her red eyes flickered to you, urging you to reply.

You nodded.

"Home."

She's all everybody needs.

She's all you need.

And that's okay.

********

I have no idea where I was going with this LMAO UH

Anyway! I'm so sorry for taking so long on this, I got stressed over my SATs test in a few weeks, erm. If I don't update anymore then yk what happened to me (I failed)

ANYWAY!! I hope you liked this one </3 requests still open, just slow updates :3

[kurosagi-h8r]

Hii love your little headcanons so I wanted to ask if you can do "what happens when mc asks the ghouls for dating advice"

I don't think mc would ever realistically ask them that but the reactions would be funny💀

WWWWWW SURE DO~~ But i'm gonna make this into parts because i don't think i'm strong enough i'm too frail to write for all of 'em in one go (no joke my shoulder pain has been killing me). so sorryyy ╯︿╰

Jin

Bold of you to assume he's gonna give you relationship advice when he can't fix his relationship with his papa

tbf he's probably gonna look at you weirdly and uhh remind you that you're his slave and nothing more and that any thought of being in a relationship with other people is forbidden

or ask you a bunch of question that will make you feel ashamed that you don't marry rich (with him as the standard) idk

Tohma

Will actually be a pretty decent guy to go for when it comes to dating advice... I think...

"blablablabla who's the guy? is it someone i know? blablabla I suggest you do this and that blablabla why not use me as an example? It won't do you any harm, no?"

"Will you update me on the progress? I don't want to be nosy, I'm simply looking out for you. Too many potential danger lurking in this place and I want nothing less than to sleep at night knowing that you're safe."

Very much biased but he can manipulate me all he wants and i will give in i won't even think twice about it

Kaito

This loser will start crying on the spot thinking that you found someone else already

"I-I never said I found someone..." and a lightbulb will come out of his head thinking that you were asking him SPECIFICALLY because HE is the one you're crushing on. "I've read somewhere that this is one of the things people do to find out more about their crush... THIS IS IT! THIS IS MY CHANCE!"

And all the advice he's giving you are the things that he wants you do to him

Not even gonna be ashamed about it go for it kaito

Luca

Most earnest in giving dating advice. He genuinely wants to help. He's even honored to be the one you go to for such important decision making.

Even if you do it to find out more about him, he's gonna be oblivious 😭 good luck

Honestly i don't have much words to back him up but personally, deep in my heart, i would go to this guy because i don't believe in myself when it comes to this kind of thing. i will trust you to set me in the right path luca ❤ i'll even trust you to beat up the shitty guy in my stead (lol)

Alan

Look me in the eye and tell me he has any dating experience

Not good with words but will stand behind you few steps away as you do what you want to do. Be it confessing your feelings or setting boundaries with your partner. For support 👍

Whether your partner finds it scary or not it's their problem

Surprisingly good at comforting maybe? If your partner breaks your heart and you don't feel like talking it out he will drive you around to clear your head.

Leo

"You're asking me? Oh my God you must be THAT desperate huh."

GIRL JUST ABORT MISSION ATP WHATEVER YOU'RE STRESSING OUT ABOUT IT'S GONNA GET WORSE IF YOU'RE SEEKING THIS GUY'S ADVI-- *got dragged away*

"Not gonna listen to all that. Why don't we just try making them jealous? You have me and I'm always down for a challenge~"

Ask yourself, which one is worse, making a deal with the devil or Leo?

Sho

Alright listen, depending on how dire the situation is i would want him to pretend to be my bf to make my partner jealous. HE'S PROBABLY GONNA HATE IT but i'm not one to pass up such opportunity /j

biker boyfriend to make your partner jealous??? why the hell not

I can feel him looking at me weirdly "you seriously coming to me for a relationship advice...?"

"How the hell would I know? Get them back with their favorite food? A way to someone's heart is to their stomach or whatever the saying goes." If it's cooking skill you're lacking maybe he can help a little.

[pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou]

can I request Cross, Dream, and Nightmare with reader who's a famous singer/in a band? (/nf)

Featuring: Cross, Dream and Nightmare.

Masterlist

Cross

"...Can you sing for me again please?"

He's your #1 fanboy even before you two began dating.

Goes to all of your shows and feels guilty when he can't because he got missions to do.

Feels a bit insecure since there's so many people who are more beautiful than him, than can be with you more than him, yet it all goes away when you refuse any person's advances in front of him.

Probably has all your albums somewhere in his room, plus he listens to it in repeat when he misses you.

Dream

"Your voice is.. radiant sunshine..."

Stumbled into one of your shows by accident in his spare time and since he didn't have anything else to do he decided to stick around.

He can't go in all of your shows unfortunately, yet he's more than happy to listen about them when he gets home.

The ones he does manage to go to, he makes sure to be in the back room after the show with your favorite snacks.

Loves to listen to you practice, he thinks your voice is angelic and it makes him at peace after getting his ass beaten by his brother's kids.

Nightmare

"Yes yes... very cool darling.."

You may think he doesn't care, actually he simply thinks it makes you more unique yet it's not something he expresses.

Listens to all your songs while doing paperwork, or when you're away, it's a way he found to calm himself down.

Somehow he seems to guess correctly what happens in your shows, what music you sang, the weird objects people threw in the stage..

Well, that's because he secretly goes to all of them, never missed a single one since he met you, no matter the day, no matter if his kids are fighting the Star sanses, they're strong enough, he's sure of that.

And he may be the cause of some disasters to feed off people's negativity... Just maybe..

[mila-stardust]

I'd love to add a quote from "Padawan" by Kiersten White:

“Just like Lenahra, he wasn’t in balance. Not with himself, not with the Force. For so long he had been afraid of being afraid. Closing himself off to his feelings because of what they might mean, what they might lead to. But closing himself off was doing the opposite of what he hoped. It wasn’t about not feeling fear or ambition or anything else he didn’t think was right for a Jedi. It was about whether or not he gave those feelings power. By ignoring his fears, pretending they weren’t there, even fighting them, he was making them more insidiously overwhelming than they ever would have been. So. Fear was there, and maybe it always would be. But he didn’t have to hide from it. Obi-Wan looked directly at the gulf of terror inside himself and let it wash over him as he settled on what his fears meant, at their core: Obi-Wan cared. He cared so much. He cared about the Jedi Order. He cared about the people in it. He cared about its history, about its rules, about its traditions. Even more than that, he cared about the Force and everything it touched. He cared about all the life in the galaxy, including this strange planet and everyone and everything on it."

I think this pretty much sums it up when it comes to bottling up your emotions and fears. As well as the difference between love (selflessness) and attachment (selfishness). Yes Obi-Wan loved Satine, but he wasn't attached to her, like Anakin was to Padme. And yes Anakin also loved Padme, but love slowly turned into attachment because of his fear and manipulation from Palpatine.

The thing is, in my opinion, love can become attachment and attachment can become love. It all depends on how we deal with ourselves and wether it is emotions that control us, or it is us that control the emotions.

Now, my only other opinion (probably biased) is that I believe Jedi Order shouldn't make relationships forbidden. As long as a person can let go when it's time (ex. Kanan Jarrus and Hera). And in my opinion, if Jedi were allowed to have relationships (without attachments (which is extremely hard BUT NOT impossible)), the Order would never fallen by Anakin's doing AND the Jedi would be one of the healthiest partners in relationships in the galaxy. That relationships would be HEALTHY and completely green-flagged. Since there's trust. Trust and respect. No jealousy, no anger, no fear of loss. Because nothing is possessed, and nothing is taken away. It's a deep bond of love. Love that is pure yet passionate. Strong like fire - yet without the fear of being burned. Love that is unselfish. A truly great Jedi can take on that responsibility of unconditional love. Jedi should be encouraged to love (to the point of allowing relationships), but not to attach themselves to something or someone. They would be encouraged to love unconditionally, without expecting anything in return, but they wouldn't love selfishly.

And I think the same goes for any irl relationship. We can love selflessly only if we allow ourselves to let go when the time is right. That's how you prevent love from becoming an attachment.

ミ☆

THIS IS EVERY INSTANCE WHERE THE JEDI TALK ABOUT ATTACHMENT IN THE MOVIES AND TV SERIES, which paint a very clear, consistent picture of just what attachment meants within the Jedi Order and Star Wars itself. It’s about how attachment isn’t the same thing as love or connection or feelings, but specifically about the inability to let go of someone when its time, that the fear of their loss is so great you would give up a thousand lives to save just the one because you cannot live without them, because you are afraid. George Lucas has been very consistently, explicitly clear about this as well, that attachment is always tied possession, fear, greed, the desire to control people, the dark side, and the inability to accept that life is transitory, that you can’t hold on to people, you can’t keep them, you can’t possess them.  Attachment is fear, greed, the willingness to make a deal with the devil to save one person, no matter how many other lives it costs.  But, setting aside word of god commentary, the above is still the way the term is used within the text itself. That doesn’t mean it’s not difficult!  Feelings are complicated, messy things and it’s not that any personal desire is attachment, it’s not that moments of fear are the same as attachment, it’s the willingness to act on those feelings in ways that get a lot of people hurt, it’s about using the Force for selfish desires, because the Force is your emotions, if you do something for a selfish reason, if you do something based on fear, that is a step towards the dark side. Context for each of the scenes: Star Wars: Attack of the Clones:      “Attachment is forbidden.  Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life.”      Anakin is explaining basic Jedi worldbuilding to Padme and the audience, he directly ties attachment to possession (as Lucas says, this is about wanting to possess a person: “[Jedi Knights] do not grow attachments, because attachment is a path to the dark side. You can love people, but you can’t want to possess them.“), instead explaining to her that compassion is central to their lives. Star Wars: The Clone Wars - “Downfall of a Droid”:     “I could take a squad out there, track him down.” "Anakin, it’s only a droid. You know attachment is not acceptable for a Jedi.”      The context of this scene is that Anakin is willing to not only put his own life on the line, but that he would put the clones’ lives and Ahsoka’s life on the line, in the middle of a war where they’re facing a weapon that is killing them in droves, to go find his droid.  This is the only time that Obi-Wan objects to Anakin’s affection for the droid throughout the entire series, when it’s about risking others’ lives to save Anakin’s favorite droid.  Any other time Anakin favors Artoo, Obi-Wan just reacts with fond annoyance. Star Wars: The Clone Wars - “Jedi Crash”:      “I can still sense your worry for Anakin, your attachment to him.“ "It’s just… I get so confused sometimes. It’s forbidden for Jedi to form attachments, yet we are supposed to be compassionate." "It is nothing to be ashamed of, Ahsoka. I went through the same process when I was your age with my own master.”      “You were right all along, Master Secura." "About what?" "If I had stayed with Anakin, we probably wouldn’t have found this village in time to save him.”      The context here is that Ahsoka’s desire to stay with Anakin would have potentially cost all of them their lives, because she couldn’t do anything more for him other than worry over him, but they needed to find help because he was going to die without it.  Ahsoka’s desire to be compassionate to her master is conflicting with her duty to help in a way that takes her away from him, and this is something young Jedi have to find the balance of, and that’s what the show is explaining to the audience.      It’s not always an easy path to find, sometimes Jedi are going to struggle with it, but Aayla was right and Ahsoka understands that at the end, along with the audience, that staying with him out of Ahsoka’s personal desire to do so against her duty to go get help, would have cost Anakin his life. Star Wars: The Clone Wars - “Brain Invaders”:     “Ahsoka, it’s your duty to save as many lives as you can. Barriss knew you could save thousands if the worms were destroyed. Which she thought meant destroying her, too. But you did the right thing. You knew the freezing cold would kill the worms. Letting go of our attachments is a difficult struggle for all of us.“      Barriss posed a very explicit danger to anyone she would come across, just as the clones had infected other clones and then Barriss herself, she would go on to do the same.  While Ahsoka found a way around it this time, the conflict here is that Ahsoka was weighing her personal desire to not have her friend die versus the thousands of people her friend might go on to hurt.  Attachment isn’t just that Ahsoka cared about Barriss, but that conflict of saving her life at the cost of others’ lives, because Ahsoka herself wanted it, because she was afraid to live without her friend.      The opening title card quote for this episode is, “Attachment is not compassion.” Star Wars: The Clone Wars - "Voyage of Temptation”:     "My duty as a Jedi demanded I be elsewhere." "Demanded? But it’s obvious you had feelings for her.  Surely that would affect your decision." "It did.  I live by the Jedi Code." "Of course.  As Master Yoda says: ‘A Jedi must not form attachments.’”      Letting go of attachments isn’t easy, there’s sadness and remorse in it often times!  But the scene here is once again that Obi-Wan is telling Anakin that his duty asked him to be elsewhere and that’s when the conflict between his desire to stay for his own reasons and his duty as a Jedi made it an issue.  Up to that point, we’re given no indication that it was any kind of issue (and in a later episode we’re told romantic feelings are natural according to the Jedi, they’re not forbidden), we see Jedi caring deeply about their friends and Masters and Padawans, it’s only when they’re willing to abandon their duty to save lives, the lives that are depending on them, that it becomes an issue.      Had Obi-Wan been willing to let those people’s lives be in danger because he personally was unwilling to give up being with Satine, then that is what the problem would have been. Star Wars: The Clone Wars - “The Rise of Clovis”:    "You’ve met Satine. You know I once harbored feelings for her. It’s not that we’re not allowed to have these feelings.  It’s natural.”     In this scene, it’s just after Anakin has beaten the crap out of Rush Clovis because he saw him kissing Padme and lost control, that it wasn’t about defending Padme, it was about his jealousy, even after the dust settles, he still believes she has feelings for Clovis.  Anakin’s inability to trust her and his possessive jealousy are at a boiling point, he is unable to see her clearly, he is sliding into fearful, angry possession of her, which is when Obi-Wan comes to talk to him.      In contrast, in “A Distant Echo”, Obi-Wan makes it clear he knows about Anakin and Padme, (”I hope you at least told Padme I said hello.”) but there’s no conversation about getting himself under control because Anakin is no longer at a boiling point with his feelings.      The Jedi don’t forbid feelings, not even romantic feelings, while they do forbid attachment.  They cannot be the same thing.  (Though, they do say you can’t be in a committed relationship and be a Jedi, but that’s not the same thing.) Star Wars: The Clone Wars - “Front Runners”:     “Ahsoka, remember what I told you about staying focused.” “I can’t help it, Master.” “I understand.” “You do?” “I do. But try to remember, always put purpose ahead of your feelings.“      This instance doesn’t directly mention the word attachment, but it’s same the context–Anakin’s advice is in line with everything else we see in the series, that it’s not that Ahsoka’s feelings are an issue, but that she can’t let them cloud her judgement, because the people of Onderon’s lives are on the line here.      It’s the same as how Obi-Wan’s feelings for Satine weren’t an issue until there was a conflict with his duty, just as Anakin’s feelings for Padme in Attack of the Clones weren’t an issue, Obi-Wan saw them quite clearly, until they were in conflict with Anakin’s duty. Star Wars: The Clone Wars - "The Jedi Who Knew Too Much”:     “Every time I think about this, I feel conflicted. It’s hard not to let feelings turn into attachment and pain.“      In this scene is that, with so many Jedi dying and the war being so hard on them, there’s a lot of fear and anger that they have to let go of, that Ahsoka and Barriss are coming back from a funeral for several Jedi and it’s a painful moment.  Ahsoka compares it to the Brain Invaders storyline, “Like, when we were stuck inside the battle tank on Geonosis, it was hard not to be afraid. Still, you and I got past it. And I guess we’ll get past this.”      The concept of attachment is again directly tied to fear and pain and suffering, that the solution (the one Anakin teaches her, that Ahsoka says he would say, “Our struggle as Jedi is to move past [these feelings of anger and fear].“) is to let go of them, to move past them–which is something Lucas has said multiple times is the theme of his movies.      ”[The Jedi] trained more than anything else to understand the transitional nature of life, that things are constantly changing and you can’t hold on to anything. You can love things but you can’t be attached to them, You must be willing to let the flow of life and the flow of the Force move through your life, move through you. So that you can be compassionate and loving and caring, but not be possessive and grabbing and holding on to things and trying to keep things the way they are. Letting go is the central theme of the film.“ –George Lucas, Star Wars Archives 1999-2005       “The key to the dark side is fear. You must be clean of fear, and fear of loss is the greatest fear. If you’re set up for fear of loss, you will do anything to keep that loss from happening, and you’re going to end up in the dark side. That’s the basic premise of Star Wars and the Jedi, and how it works.“ –George Lucas, Star Wars Archives 1999-2005 Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith:      “Attachment leads to jealousy, the shadow of greed, that is.“     This is a scene where Anakin has become so afraid of losing Padme that he’s starting to go off the deep end about it, he’s butting up against his willingness to make a deal with the devil to save her from something he doesn’t even know for sure is going to happen.  The story of Revenge of the Sith is that Anakin is so afraid to lose her that he will murder not just the adult Jedi and help Sidious create an Empire, but he will murder literal toddlers to save the person he wants to save.  It is the very definition of attachment, of greed and fear. The above are every time that “attachment” is mentioned by a Jedi in the movies and the TV series, this is the entire context for what it means to the Jedi and to Star Wars.  Does the term have other meanings in popular lexicon?  Sure, but this one is closer to the Buddhist meaning and the way the characters speak of it, the context of their scenes and when they talk about it, the events that surround it, are all consistent with that attachment means a specific thing, that it’s synonymous with the fear of losing someone, so intense that you’re willing to sacrifice a thousand lives just to hold onto the one person. Attachment isn’t just harmful for the person who can’t let go, it’s something that costs thousands of people their lives.  And the Jedi only bring it up in that context, when it’s about the conflict of their personal desires against people who are depending on them, we see that otherwise personal desires and relationships aren’t commented on.  It’s only when a Jedi is willing to let people get hurt for their own desires that the Jedi talk about attachment.

[dissapointu]

ur writing is so amazing! u write the characters so well and in so little time! seriously you’re so amazing!! can you write how arcane characters would react to seeing their partner with tattoos and piercing but also wears very feminine clothes? lol im a fem and i have too many tattoos and a nose piercing 😊! i love ur writing and i hope u take care of urself! we all love you!

Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, and I really appreciate you sharing that with me!

————————————————————————-

Jinx

Jinx would be absolutely in love with your style! She adores anything that stands out, and your combination of tattoos, piercings, and feminine clothes would make her eyes widen with excitement. She’d want to examine every tattoo closely, asking all sorts of questions—what it means, how it feels, if you can get matching ones. “You’re like a walking masterpiece!” she’d exclaim, running her fingers over your tattoos and being completely in awe. She loves how your look expresses your personality, and it makes her feel even more drawn to you.

She might even get a little possessive, making sure everyone knows you’re hers, but all in good fun. Expect lots of love and playfulness as she showers you with affection.

Vi

Vi would be really impressed and maybe even a little turned on. She’s a bit of a tomboy, but she loves anyone who can rock a style with confidence. Seeing you embrace both feminine clothes and tattoos would make her respect you even more. She loves the way your tattoos look, but she’s equally fond of how the softer clothes contrast with them. She’d probably chuckle and say, “You’re a total badass, and you know it, don’t you?” while running her hands over your tattoos.

She’d definitely show off how proud she is to be with someone who has such a strong, confident style. Expect her to playfully tease you, especially about how you manage to be tough and soft at the same time.

Sevika

Sevika would love your edgy style. She’s a woman who commands respect, and seeing you with tattoos, piercings, and feminine clothes just makes her even more attracted to you. She might admire the way you carry yourself with confidence, not caring what anyone else thinks. Her admiration would be evident in the way she watches you, and she may comment, “You wear your skin like armor, but you still have that softness about you.”

She respects your strength and finds the contrast of your look intriguing—especially if you’re intimidating on the outside but soft with her. She’d definitely hold you close in private, not caring who sees.

Silco

Silco would be both intrigued and impressed. He’s all about control and self-expression, so seeing you balance tattoos, piercings, and feminine clothes in a way that screams confidence would make him admire you even more. He might give you a quiet, approving look and say something like, “You know how to make an impression.” He appreciates strength, and your look tells him you don’t need validation from anyone else to feel powerful.

While he wouldn’t outwardly show it, he’d definitely feel a deep respect for you, and your style would only make him more possessive and protective of you.

Vander

Vander would be charmed and a bit protective, but mostly he’d be filled with pride. He loves the balance you strike between being strong and soft, and your tattoos and piercings only add to your unique beauty. He’d smile warmly and tell you how much he admires your confidence and how you wear your style so naturally. “You’re a beautiful combination of strength and grace,” he’d say, his voice filled with affection.

Expect a lot of sweet compliments and moments where he simply pulls you close, admiring how you carry yourself.

Ekko

Ekko would be all about it. He loves people who express themselves, and your tattoos and piercings only add to how you stand out in a crowd. He’d probably ask a million questions, like, “What’s this one about?” or “Does it hurt?” and maybe even joke about getting matching tattoos with you. He finds your mix of toughness and femininity incredibly appealing.

Expect him to show off how proud he is of you, constantly touching your tattoos or taking little photos of you. He’s into your individuality and admires the fact that you’re unapologetically yourself.

Jayce

Jayce might be a little taken aback at first, especially if he didn’t expect such a strong combination of tattoos and femininity. However, once he sees how effortlessly you carry the look, he’s absolutely smitten. “You look amazing, truly,” he’d say, a little awestruck by how beautifully you manage to blend both worlds. He’s a sucker for elegance, but he also appreciates someone who’s bold enough to be themselves, so your confidence would be a huge turn-on for him.

He might even get inspired by your boldness and ask you if you’d design a tattoo for him.

Viktor

Viktor is the type of person who appreciates uniqueness and personal expression, so seeing you with tattoos, piercings, and wearing feminine clothes would only intrigue him more. He loves the contrast of tough and soft, and the way you balance both in your appearance makes you even more captivating to him.

He’d ask about the stories behind your tattoos and piercings, genuinely fascinated by the meanings behind each one. Viktor respects individuality, and your confidence in your style would only draw him closer to you.

Caitlyn

Caitlyn would absolutely love your style. She’s elegant and refined, so seeing you blend femininity with tattoos and piercings would make her respect you even more. She’s all about self-expression and would adore how you use your appearance to make a statement. Caitlyn would likely compliment you frequently, saying things like, “You’re a work of art,” or “I love how you make that look so effortless.”

She’d also be protective of you, not letting anyone make rude comments about your appearance. She’s proud to have someone so unique and beautiful by her side.

Mel Medarda

Mel would be fascinated by your style. She appreciates power and confidence, and your tattoos and piercings tell her that you know exactly who you are. She’d love how you’ve curated such an intricate, bold look and how it pairs so well with the softness of your feminine clothes. Mel would often compliment you, saying, “You’re a vision of both strength and elegance,” or something to that effect.

She’d love how your individuality shines through and would always support you in embracing your own sense of style.

Ambessa Medarda

Ambessa would be impressed. She’s used to commanding respect, and your tattoos and piercings would immediately catch her attention. She admires strength and doesn’t shy away from showing it, so seeing you carry yourself with such confidence would only deepen her respect for you. Ambessa might quietly observe you for a while, but when she speaks, she’d make sure you know how much she admires you. “There’s power in your appearance, a statement in every detail,” she’d say.

Her attraction would be deep, knowing that you’re someone who is not afraid to express yourself—physically and emotionally.

Maddie Nolen

Maddie would be immediately impressed by your boldness. She’s used to the power dynamics in Arcane, so your ability to balance femininity with tattoos and piercings would strike a chord with her. She’d admire how you embrace your unique style and carry it with grace. “You’re the perfect mix of beauty and strength,” she’d say, thoroughly enchanted by the way you rock your look.

She’d love being seen with you, proud to be with someone who isn’t afraid to stand out.

Lest

Lest would adore your combination of tattoos, piercings, and feminine clothes. They have a soft spot for those who embrace their identity fully, and you do just that. She would be deeply fascinated by the meaning behind each tattoo and would always take time to admire your piercings. Lest would also love that you can wear feminine clothing while still owning your tough look, making her feel incredibly proud to be with you. She might even give you a compliment like, “You’ve got the kind of beauty that stays with people.”

I hope you love how I wrote each of the characters’ reactions! Thank you again for your kind words 💖

[cheshiresense]

Hello Anon, I hope you won't mind if I screenshot pieces of your ask, I read it but my muse vaulted over your first 3 questions and then took off on your 4.1, and now here we are, so I'm just going to chop these up and post them depending on what I can come up with.

This started out with TBTP!Shunsui never getting his memories and then kind of spiralled. He still doesn't get his memories but... well, you'll see. It really ran away from me lmao. No thoughts behind it, just vibes, I hammered this out in like fifteen minutes and it felt like a fever dream.

Starrk would definitely have complicated feelings about it. Like at the start when he agreed to go back, I think a part of him even then expected for the entire thing to end with his death, even if they manage to neutralize Aizen and defeat the Wandenreich, but whether or not he manages to survive it all, he definitely has no plans to get together with TBTP!Shunsui.

For one, obviously they're not the same person. I wouldn't say they're completely different, and I imagine TBTP!Shunsui would be a lot closer to Winter War!Shunsui, whom Starrk had met first. But TYBW!Shunsui is the one Starrk knew best, and TYBW!Shunsui suffered quite a few losses in a very short time. Like to Shinigami, even a hundred years probably isn't that much, especially to one who's already lived over a thousand years. But TYBW!Shunsui lost everyone he'd known for a thousand years in like the space of a week, he lost his mentor, he lost his closest friend, and on top of all that, he had the weight of a war fuelled by a grudge a thousand years in the making dumped on his shoulders, he had the duties of Captain-Commander of the Gotei 13 dumped on him, he had the deaths of literal thousands of Shinigami dumped on him, and then in this AU he had to be the one to carry everyone else through another 7 years of waging an endless bloody war that after a certain point neither side was ever going to win, but he had no way of stopping it either.

That sort of thing would take its toll on anyone. TYBW!Shunsui was a man changed by loss and grief and more responsibilities than he'd ever wanted. I imagine he would've had very little time or cause to still remember how to be the person he was before the Quincy War when he still had it in him to relax and enjoy life.

But I also imagine that Starrk being there had helped. Starrk has always been a quick learner, and it's not like he'd really known anyone there save Shunsui. He stuck close to his Shinigami, watched and learnd the way Shunsui strategized for each assault and skirmish, contributed what he could where he could, pitched in by keeping the Fourth Divison alive and functioning, shouldered some of that weight by finally wielding all his strength and mowing down entire battlefields of Quincy on his own just so other Shinigami wouldn't have to and Shunsui would thereby have one less thing to worry about.

And in the precious stolen moments in-between, Shunsui had someone to go home with, someone who guarded him while he slept, someone to distract him from the war (from his failure to protect yet more Shinigami fallen in battle under his command), someone to sit beside who knew the same kind of loneliness and didn't recoil from it, who was content to hold him and share in his silence when he just needed a moment to breathe.

I imagine there wouldn't have been many things to be happy about, but I think they'd still manage to carve out some happiness between them. Starrk had known very little of things like human food and clothes and games and books. Shunsui had been delighted to introduce whatever he could to him. They learned about each other, about their similarities and differences, about their strengths and weakness and hopes and fears, secrets exchanged in the dead of night in the safety of a shared office, a shared bed, a shared home. And even in the midst of a war and so much death and destruction, they managed to build something beautiful and strong, something that would've been long-lasting too under any other circumstances.

Because then Shunsui dies, a year before the true end of the war, and Starrk had perhaps not seen it coming even though there was never any real guarantee on a battlefield, but it had also been an unspoken certainty of his, something he knew the way he knew bones were breakable and blood was red and murder was easy--the day Kyouraku Shunsui dies would be the day Coyote Starrk would also fall. With any luck, Shunsui would only die over his dead body, but fortune has never favoured Starrk, and he'd figured the other way was fine too. That way, Starrk wouldn't be yet another person in a long line of people to have left Shunsui behind and alone once again, and he'd thought it would make no real difference. If Shunsui dies, Starrk would surely be minutes behind, by his own hand or otherwise.

That doesn't happen. It doesn't happen because the rest of the Gotei had gotten over any qualms they might've had about working with an Arrancar or even Aizen's former Primera Espada years ago, and besides, Starrk had already broken all the known rules and beliefs several years back by becoming a whole soul and evolving into something no one had ever seen before. He couldn't really be considered a Hollow anymore, for all that there was no other name for him either. And with all that he'd done - following Shunsui into battles and meetings and everything in-between with the kind of steadfast devotion the tide held for the moon, burning the midnight oil right alongside all the other captains and lieutenants because even a hopeless war generated paperwork and headaches as much as it did low supplies and emergency triage and lists and lists of dead, powering through enemy forces to save even just one more Shinigami with the kind of firepower rivalled only by the likes of Kurosaki Ichigo and Aizen Sousuke, and carrying the Fourth on his back by sheer force of will and a truly terrifying mind that had soaked up every medical text he'd had time to read and every medical procedure he'd had time to learn or extrapolate or straight-up invent out of fatal necessity - Starrk had long become a pillar the Gotei 13 couldn't do without, a figure at their helm as familiar and reassuring as the long unwavering shadow Kyouraku had cast. And in the devastating wake of even their Captain-Commander's death, with only a handful of captains and their squads remaining, they couldn't afford another titanic loss on its heels.

And, as Hirako had been the one to point out, all glittering ruthless eyes borne from desperation and pragmatism--Kyouraku Shunsui had protected Soul Society with his very last breath; if they were to ever meet again, would Starrk even be able to look Shunsui in the eye if he wouldn't even stick around to try and defend the place and people Shunsui had loved enough to die for?

(A year later, Mimihagi would use the exact same argument to receive the answer he needed to send the second envoy the Soul King had chosen back in time to save the world.)

(Perhaps the lesson Starrk had learnt best at Shunsui's side had been the one of duty. Or perhaps it had been the one Shunsui hadn't even meant to teach but Starrk had learnt anyway, had held closest to his heart, the one of love.

They were about the same thing in the end, when it came to what Starrk would do for Shunsui.)

Hirako had even dragged Ichigo to stand before him, Isane too, each and every last person Starrk would even nominally call a comrade and was still alive--Hirako had put them all in front of him, and then he'd asked if Starrk could really go to his grave in peace.

The bastard had gotten his way in the end, and Starrk had never come as close to hitting someone unprovoked as he had right then. He'd been left the sole survivor once again, left to soldier on alone, and some days, he has no idea how he keeps going.

(Some days, Starrk had wondered, still wonders, if Shunsui had known his death was coming, or had known what would happen should his death come to pass, so he had made… arrangements accordingly. Most days, Starrk knows it's best not to know the answer because it would probably be the one thing he would never be able to forgive Shunsui for.)

So Starrk had hung on for another year and done his best for what was left of the Shinigami, for the dwindling pockets of civilians, for Kurosaki Ichigo. Anyone with eyes could tell though, that he'd just been waiting until the war was over one way or another, until the day he could lie down and not wake up again.

Of course, as it turned out, he wasn't even allowed that much, and a lifetime later, Starrk is still alive because death just won't take him, or he just won't die.

He has zero desire to even look at TBTP!Shunsui. The first time he has to anyway and sees two eyes instead of one, it's like a knife to the gut. They're lighter too, somehow, without the void of grief and exhaustion and quiet despair bruising their depths. His gaze still holds a weight to it, he's still loved and lost before, he's still lived a thousand years with all the joys and sorrows that entails, but he hasn't lost everything, hasn't lost those dearest to him, hasn't had to pick himself up and force himself to march on anyway towards a dead-end future, and for a moment, it's like Starrk is looking at a stranger.

He thinks, randomly, bizarrely, in those first few minutes of their second first meeting, that it's a good thing he always wears gloves when he goes out.

He thinks, madly, nonsensically, that if he were to touch this Shunsui now, it would stain him black with desolation, or red with blood that would never run dry.

He thinks, abruptly, hysterically, that he'd somehow forgotten the hole Shunsui had left behind with his death, as if the past year had numbed him so thoroughly that it had frozen even his grief in its tracks, except it all comes roaring back now, an empty pit that's always been waiting for him to remember it, threatening to drown him whole. Frankly, he would welcome it if he thought it would kill him once and for all.

It's frighteningly easy to pretend nothing is wrong. Perhaps it shouldn't be. He's never been one to emote outwardly, always been good at displaying nothing but impassivity without even trying, to the point where Shunsui had remarked more than once that it was difficult to read him (and then pouted and asked what Starrk was thinking - don't leave him out, it's hurtful - and he'd always want to know even when Starrk was clearly thinking of nothing important at all).

He greets this Shunsui politely, with the courtesy an Academy student should afford a captain, he makes smalltalk as necessary, he doesn't look at anyone in particular but also doesn't avoid anyone's gaze, and then he lets himself fall silent as Ichigo draws everyone's attention again with no deliberate effort whatsoever when he blows up at something his cousin says.

It's easy to fade into the background after that, to fade into himself, retreating into his own mind with the ease of long practice. Once upon a time, he could spend years like this, buried so deep in his own head that when he surfaced and became aware again, the sand dunes would've shifted and changed, and new mountains of bones would've already formed around him.

The few times eyes turn back to him, he nods in all the right places and responds at all the right times and pretends the world hasn't become white noise in his ears.

(He'd had these episodes a few times during the war, never when there was immediate work to be done or a fight to be fought, but in their downtime, it would sneak up on him. It had never lasted more than a couple hours at a time, but he'd scared the hell out of Shunsui the first time, had found himself at the Fourth when he'd woken, but then he'd explained, and Shunsui's expression had been unreadable but his eyes had looked pained. He'd shaken his head when Starrk had said he could leave him alone or just smack him out of it, either way he'd come back sooner or later, but Shunsui had refused, and every time it had happened after that, Starrk would wake with his head pillowed against Shunsui's shoulder or chest or thigh, Shunsui's arm wrapped around him or his bulk at his back and a blanket draped around them both, warm and comfortable and never alone.)

(He is alone again now, and he doesn't understand why it's so difficult to relearn something he had known for far longer than he hadn't.)

He's here to check Fujiwara's Hohou - Shunsui's cousin, Shunsui never mentioned her, she must've died long ago in the future - so he does that when he's cued and works her through the problem and suggests a few exercises, and that's that. He practically sleepwalks through the rest of this little gathering, barely manages to feel vaguely relieved when it looks like they can all finally part ways, and hazily wonders if he can get away with booting Ichigo back to his own room for the night. He's pretty sure he's going to end up scaring the kid if he falls even further into his own mind.

Then Shiba Kaien does him a favour out of the blue, nagging Ichigo until the kid snaps and irritably agrees to spend the night at his family's compound. Distantly, Starrk is aware of being invited as well, but that's easy enough to refuse, citing an exam in the morning - or maybe he says assignment due, he's not sure - and the Clan Head says next time then, and- and-

He blinks and it's time to go. Nothing seems amiss so he inclines his head at the captains and lieutenant, bids Ichigo and Fujiwara farewell, and then takes his leave in a flash of Shunpou.

Starrk has seconds to feel nebulously pleased with himself, another second to remind himself to avoid the Eighth like the plague from here on out, and then even that's gone as he locks himself in his room, and the rest of the night is lost. He is more than happy to lose it.

He'd had exactly zero presence of mind to catch the way Kyouraku Shunsui had been staring - if discreetly - at him the entire time, from under his hat or out of the corner of his eye, and by the end of the entire encounter, the man had even shaken his kimono over his hands to hide the way they'd slowly curled into white-knuckled fists.

Shunsui doesn't know how no one else had felt it, bleeding into the air like a severed artery--a bottomless chasm of loneliness and grief that had felt like it should've been screaming with the agony of it, except there'd only been the deafening silence of barren wastelands, an emptiness reflected in Starrk’s perfectly blank eyes and perfectly sculpted non-expression, and Shunsui doesn't understand why he alone had evidently just taken a metaphorical dive straight into the man's very soul.

(Starrk would've, if he'd noticed. After all, a lifetime ago, Kyoukotsu had loved bringing his wolves back to her soulscape to play with, and Katen had often visited his soulscape in turn for tea and conversation. His and Shunsui's souls had long learned to recognize each other, mingling in a way that had transcended all possible boundaries, and in the face of that, what did a little thing like time and space matter?)

When Starrk had left, Shunsui had almost followed, had wanted to with an instinctual sort of urgency he couldn't even explain to himself, let alone anyone else. Several times, he'd almost reached out while the others were talking, to provide comfort perhaps, or to take some of the pain even, and it had only been the equally intuitive certainty that doing so would break something in Starrk that had ultimately stopped him each time.

"Kyouraku, is something wrong?" Ukitake asks once the others are all gone, because of course his best friend had noticed something off with Shunsui, even if not with Starrk.

Shunsui reaches up and tugs on the brim of his hat and doesn't know how to explain that wrong could not even begin to cover whatever the hell had just happened.

His insides are still shuddering like they've been ripped out very slowly. He still wants to run all the way to the Academy this instant. And he feels-

He feels inexplicably like he's lost something beloved and doesn't know if he'll ever get it back.

[eanatirea]

Y'know I think there's something a lot of people who dabble in reincarnation/past lives, and especially other/fictionkin, and especially white other/ficionkin need to come to terms with:

Your past life is not your current life.

You might feel a very strong spiritual connection to your past life. You might feel like their culture would fit how you identify as a person better than your current one. And honestly? That's a normal initial reaction to have! But the problem occurs when you try to claim cultural practices that may have been part of your past life but you know nothing about in your current life.

You may or may not be able to claim every part of your past life's culture. Some practices are open, and some require religious conversion and/or specific rites to claim. And some are closed to anyone who wasn't raised in the culture at all. It's really important to remember that no matter how connected you feel to a past life, you were born into a different one this time around. And that might mean you don't get to access certain things at the moment.

It probably does hurt to hear for a lot of people! That's not to say you can't interact with your past life's culture at all. With few exceptions (specific ones I don't know about btw so feel free to correct me in the notes) it's ok to learn about the culture! Or you can buy art from them, go to open cultural events, or support their religious freedom on a governmental level!

Anyways. Yes you may be so sure your past life is real and you BUT. The fact remains that we can't prove past lives exist but we can prove actual cultures exist. Idk but I'd rather respect actual real life people.

[nemainofthewater]

Halfway through, and it's a close race with Mei Changsu in first with 19.7%, then Zhou Zishu with 19.2%, and finally Pei Huai in third with 18%.

Tag propaganda under the cut:

Pei Huai

#see i don't think mcs is like going out of his way to eat poison#poison just happens to him more often than anyone around him would like#pei huai on the other hand has means motive and opportunity by @sinni-ok-sessi

#I also immediately went for Pei Huai#he literally does this and doesn’t even have bullshit poison immunity he’s just Like That by @jianghushenighans

#polls#i chose pei hua but let's be real#it's pei hua and tang fan staring each other down and competitively doing poison shots#while a bored dong'er reads one of tang fan's wips with the bottle of antidote in one hand by @foxofninetales

#nearly voted li lianhua until i saw pei huai there#pei huai is an absolute terror in the vicinity of poison#tang fan: what have you got there? pei huai: A POISON! tang fan: NO!!!#pei huai is the spiders georg of the poison world#average person yadda yadda poison huai who lives in a cave adn drinks 10000 a day…#(ps i’m love him ❤️) by @unfortunatelycake

#polls#pei huai#my beloved mad scientist#he does it on purpose for science no duress required#but hed probably do it in exchange for a new world veggie too#he’s just Like That by @auroramagpie

#poll#the sleuth of ming dynasty#please it's (with caveats) so good#pei huai#ok i also adore ying hecong but he won't think twice about asking you to poison yourself whereas lao pei will make you talk him into it by @a-sea-with-no-shores

#i absolutely agree with everyone saying pei huai#didn't he eat a tomato or something bc he was told it was poisonous and was disappointed it wasn’t? or am i remembering that wrong by @marquisguyun

Mei Changsu

#I am forced to disagree with my esteemed colleague#on the basis that 'medicine that will give me a month of full function in return for burning out my remaining lifespan' is.#reasonably classifiable as poison. by @morkaischosen

#nirvana in fire#i mean.... he DID do that#more than once even by @acesgroupchat

#you know who I voted for#(mcs)#but maomao would get the vote has she been included#antri by @xiaojingyan-jingwang

Song Qingshi

#soooooo many strong contenders here#but i have to go with song 'i am disfiguring myself with poison on the regular' qingshi#boy is so full of poisons. he's not normal about it. he thinks he's normal about it but he's not by @noswordinourlake

Wu Xie

#there are so many poison-eaters...#but I'm choosing Wu Xie#because he gets surgery so he can inject snake venom directly into his nasal organs#no one wants him to do this#it makes them sad by @vergoftowels

Ying Hecong

#oh my god this is the hardest poll yet#the number of these who have literally eaten poison on purpose in canon....#I think I'm definitely forgetting details about pei huai based on the tags... anyway makes sense that he's winning#I picked ying hecong because I figured other people wouldn't be choosing him but he's a little freak and deserves some recognition#but truly. it's SO hard to choose here. they're all winning the 'idiot who would eat poison' award to me by @silver-grasp

Li Lianhua

#lmao#i voted li lianhua#it doesn't need an explanation#he literally ate something he was allergic to that he considered poison#because it wouldn't affect him bc of the bicha poison#but tbf most of the characters i know on this poll would#zzs definitely would#mcs would if it furthered a plot of his#i know three others by name only so i can't judge by @fire-burning-brighter

#llh literally ingests poision and knockout drugs constantly#they dont effect him but its amazing how many people you can convince when you can just hit poisions whenever#feel like he ingests at least one (at least semi-) toxic substance every plot arc by @fealiniel

Other

#my mind immediately went to Apothecary Diaries#maomao#jinshi#the apothecary diaries#but applies to MCS too i guess 😂 by @indelibleme

#I feel every single one of these is i_cant_read.png at the sight of a warning label#if they're in the mood#see also:#yu she and zhong wan from 'those years in quest of honor mine'#yu she in particular has never seen a toxic item that he didn't immediately stuff in his mouth while maintaining deliberate eye contact by @woolasaur

#i think it's gotta be wei wuxian#especially emphasizing the part where he does it for Science#and then spits it out by @dripping-moonlight

AITA for preventing my friend from eating POISON?

They claim that it's for science/to mess with people/it just looks so tempting!/don't ever give me an explanation, but I don't think it's wrong to ask them not to literally poison themself? However, they've told me that it's 'enrichment' and I'm a 'spoilsport'. So AITA for stopping them?

Write-ins, propaganda, and images are welcome!

[fanfictiongirlie]

Marvel: Unplanned Chapter Six

Parings: Bucky Barnes x Reader (First person written though)

Description:

"It says...it says it's positive doll" His voice matching mine in a quiet shaky whisper.

"Fuck... I'm pregnant?"

"Yeah doll, you're pregnant"

"Fuck" I whisper.

Rating: Explicit

Chapter Warnings: Daddy kink, smut, swearing

Chapter Words: 3,150

(I have the urge for every Marvel fanfic I write to have a seperate timeline where nothing bad happens, and everyone is happy)

A few weeks later Bucky and I sat in the dreaded doctor's office again, my knee was bouncing as we waited to be called in. I had hoped during my adult years I'd get over my fear of doctors, but of course not. 

Once we were finally called in, the doctor; Dr.Addams had me lie down on the table and lift my shirt. I watched the screen as it showed our baby, I felt tears in my eyes as I watched, Bucky's hand held tightly onto mine as he watched the screen, his eyes wide as he watched the screen. 

"Do you wish to know the gender?" Dr.Addams asks. Bucky glances at me, his eyes meeting mine. I nod gently to him. 

"Yeah, we'd love to know" He says to the doctor, his voice filled with anticipation. Our doctor smiles and continues to move the wand over my stomach, searching for the right angle. 

"Alright, I think we're got it, are you ready to find out?" She asks. Bucky and I nod eagerly. I feel my heart pound a little harder, mine and Bucky's hands were sweaty as we held onto one another. 

"You're having a girl" The doctor says excitedly. I squeeze Bucky's hand a little tighter. 

"A girl?" I whisper. 

"Yeah doll, we're having a girl"

Bucky couldn't stop smiling, his eyes fixated on the ultrasound screen. He leans over to me and presses a sweet kiss to my lips. Once we were done in the Doctors, we left and drove straight back to the compound, excited to tell everyone the news. I smiled fondly to myself as I drove us home, the Avengers were excited to have a baby in the building. 

Bucky walked beside me as we entered the Compound, his arm was wrapped around my shoulders, holding me close. I felt as if we both had a glow about us, from the happiness we felt. 

"Should we tell everyone now?" I ask as we walk through the hallway towards the common room. Bucky nodded, his smile not faltering one bit. 

"Yeah, let's tell them. I'm sure they're all dying to know" 

"I bet they're waiting for us" I smirk. 

"Yeah, they probably are" He grins, nodding in agreement. I take his hand in mine and pull him towards the common room, we were right, they were waiting together, huddled in the room, they had clearly been waiting for our arrival. 

"Were you waiting for us?" I ask, I step closer to Nat, her hand moved up to touch my bump, stroking me gently. The group laughed and nodded to my question. 

"Yeah, we've been sitting on the edge of our seats" Clint spoke first. 

"We wanted to know if we were getting a niece or nephew" Nat said fondly. 

I raised my hand holding it over my heart "Oh you guys, you're so cute!"

Everyone grinned, clearly enjoying themselves. I watched as Bucky walked over to Steve, the two of them doing that manly hug they always do. 

"We're having a girl!" I say excitedly. There was a chorus of excitement and cheers from the others, clearly happy and thrilled with the news. Sam lets out a whoop. 

"Wow, a girl? That's amazing" Tony adds. 

"Congratulations, you two" Nat speaks "I'm happy for you" 

I watch as Bucky grins, I walk over to where he sat and got comfortable on his lap, his arms wrapped protectively around me, his face covered in obvious happiness. 

"A girl, eh? That's wonderful news. I have a feeling she'll be as fierce and strong as her mother" Thor says, his voice bellowing throughout the room. I turned to him and smiled sweetly. 

"Thank you Thor" 

"You're welcome, and I'm sure Bucky here will be a great father! He has a good heart and a brave soul!" Thor says, slapping Bucky on the shoulder fondly. I grin and look to Bucky, my heart swelling. His eyes meet mine, a soft tender look travels between us. His hand finds mine and laces our fingers together. I lean down and pressed my lips against his, kissing him more deeply than I originally intended too. 

I moved away and muttered a sorry. 

"No need to apologise doll, I didn't mind that" He answers. 

"Mmm even though I kissed you in front of everyone?" I ask. He chuckles softly, a smirk over his lips as he looks to me. Luckily the Avengers weren't paying attention to us. 

"Yeah doll, I don't mind knowing how much my girl wants me" He murmurs, reaching up to kiss me again. 

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

A few weeks later as I entered my 23rd week of pregnancy, I laid on my bed, it was roughly 2am, and I was awake, I groaned loudly my hand holding onto my stomach as the baby kicked me again. 

"Doll, what's wrong?" Bucky asked, his voice deep from sleep, he sat up slightly and looked at me, worry in his eyes. 

"She's fucking kicking" I groan again as the baby gets another kick in. "I just wanna sleep"

Bucky frowns, clearly concerned as he moves closer to me, he reaches up to brush a strand of my hair away from my face. 

"Is there anything I can do to help you feel more comfortable?" He asks. I feel my cheeks flush as I think of something I had read in the baby books. 

"Talk to her?" I ask, the voices feeling silly as I spoke them "The books say it might help"

Bucky's face softens, a small smile tugging at his lips, but I knew he wasn't laughing at me. 

"Yeah I can do that, I can talk to our little girl, try to get her to settle so you can sleep" He scoots closer to me and wiggles down the bed, his hand moved over my stomach, and he speaks again, his voice soft. 

"Hey there, sweetheart...It's your dada speaking, can you be good for mama, and let her sleep?" His voice was soft, and his lips brushed against the skin of my stomach as he spoke "Your kicks are making her uncomfortable" 

My heart swelled at his words, I closed my eyes as he spoke, trying to relax, Bucky's hand rubs my bump gently, continuing to speak in a low, soothing tone. I felt the baby kick again, I groaned. 

"Come on, darlin'. Settle down, your mama needs her rest, I promise you can kick as much as you want when she's had some sleep, okay?" 

"Hey!" I whine "Don't tell her she can kick!"

Bucky grins at me, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he chuckles. 

"What? I can't tell our little girl to kick her mama as much as she wants? That's no fun!" 

"You're a dick" I say, groaning as she kicks again. Bucky laughs and presses a kiss to my bump. 

"Hey! Watch the language doll, we don't want our girl's first word to be a curse, do we?" He smirks, I definitely swore too much, and he always commented on it. 

"Oh shut up" I say rolling my eyes "She hasn't even been born yet, she can't hear me swear...can she?" I ask, unsure, could she hear me? Bucky grins and shakes his head, his hand rubbing my bump softly. 

"She can definitely hear you. They say babies can hear voices and noises from the outside word whilst they're in the womb, so watch your mouth" He grins "You don't want our little girl to grow up with a potty mouth, do you?"

"I hate that you read the baby books" I say smirking, joking of course. Bucky laughs and shrugs. 

"I want to be a good father, I figured I ought to do some research and educate myself, don't hate on me for being a responsible daddy" He grins, beaming as he bigs himself up. 

"Mmm I think daddy should come up here and kiss me" I smirk, feeling a little silly, but it felt hot saying it, and by the way Bucky's eyes darkened, I could see he liked it too. 

"Oh yeah? You want daddy to come up there and give you some loving?" 

"Mmm yeah"

Bucky grins, his eyes sparkling with mischief, he slowly crawls up the bed, approaching me. 

"You want lovin' from daddy doll?" He asks again. 

"I do baby" I smirk, loving the game I had started. Bucky grins, his eyes smoldering as he moves closer to me, now hovering over me. 

"You like it when daddy takes charge, don't you? You like it when daddy gives you what you want?" He whispers. 

"Fuck yes, yeah I do" 

Bucky growls low in his throat, his eyes darkening further, he moves closer, pressing his body against mine. 

"You want daddy to give it do you baby?" He asks quietly. Each time he says the word, it sends sparks down to my pussy. I needed him. 

"Daddy" I said, breathing heavy, my eyes now closed "Give it to me" 

Bucky was grinding his hips down onto mine, his hard cock rubbing against my pussy, only his boxers and my pyjama bottoms in between us. 

"Oh I'll give it to you" He whispers, his throat letting out a low, feral growl, he moves forward nuzzling his face into my neck, his lips grazing my skin. "Daddy's gonna give you everything you want, and more, just say the word and it's yours"

"Fuck me please" I whisper as I rub my hips up towards his. I could feel how wet I was, a wet patch obvious were he had been rubbing on my pyjama trousers. Finally Bucky's fingers snake into my trousers, he lets out a low guttural groan as his fingers slide into me with ease. 

"Fuck, you're so wet, so wet for daddy" He groans, his fingers spreading my tight hole. 

"Flip me over and fuck me" I demand softly, his eyes snap to mine, looking at me with such need, I watch as he smirks, he moved his fingers away from my pussy and to my hip, gently he flips my body over, pulling me up on my knees. I rested my arms on the bed, holding myself up. 

I shivered as I felt him line his cock up to my hole, he pushes forward and enters me, his head falls forward and rests in the middle of my shoulders as he pushes completely against my hips. 

Bucky let's out a stifled groan as he enters me completely. He waits a moment, and then slams into me, I moan loudly, my head falling forward to rest on the pillow. 

"Fuck yes daddy" I whine. Bucky lets out another low growl, his grip on my hips tightening as he picks up the pace, his body slamming into mine. 

"Feels good, huh? Feels good having daddy take your tight little hole? You like this, don't you? Fuck, you're so perfect baby, play with yourself for daddy" His words were rushed, and low as his cock stretched me out. I moaned at his words, and did as told I snaked my arm down and played with my clit, rubbing myself harshly, needing to come. It didn't take me long, I felt myself tightening around him, my legs become weaker as I come, his grip on my hips holding me up. 

"Fuck, yes Bucky, you're so fucking good at that" I moan. Bucky groans loudly, his hips moving faster as he releasing into me, coating my inner walls. I clenched his cock as he moved out of me, causing him to groan. 

"Fuck, that was good" I whisper as he flops half on me and half on the bed, careful not to lay on my bump. 

"That was really good doll"

I groan again as the baby kicks my stomach. 

"Ow!"

"She kicking again?" He asks, his hand moving to rub my stomach. 

"Yeah, I might take a bath, maybe it'll calm her down" I say, climbing out of bed. Bucky follows, pushing my gently back on the bed. 

"A bath sounds like a good idea, I'll go run it for you" He grins walking into my bathroom, I waited on the bed, rubbing my stomach absentmindedly. Once the bath was drawn, Bucky came and took my hand in his, pulling me towards the bathroom, I step into the water moaning at the feeling of the warm water on my skin. 

"How's the water doll? Not too hot, right?" He asks sitting on the floor next to the tub. 

"It's lovely" I sigh happily, as I relax into the water. Bucky grins and reaches out to stroke my hair gently. 

"Good, just relax and enjoy, you need if after a long day of carrying our girl around" He whispers. 

"Mmmm you're so nice" I say, sighing happily. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure doll"

"We've been officially dating for what..3 weeks or so? Why haven't you taken me out on a proper date?" I ask, I turn my head to lean on the tub, my eyes locking with his. Bucky looks at me surprised and a little sheepish, he scratches the back of his head, looking a bit embarrassed. 

"Uhhh...well...I've just been...I've just been focused on taking care of you, you know? With the baby, I figured it was more important to be here for you, make sure you're comfortable and everything. I guess I didn't really think about taking you out on a proper date...I'm sorry" He rambles, I smirk enjoying the flustered Bucky. 

"Lame excuse" I say "I wanna be wined and dined, just without the wined part" I say making a sad face, not being allowed wine at the minute. Bucky chuckles and grins, amused. He reaches and rubs my arm, his touch affectionate. 

"I get it doll, I'll take you on a proper date, I promise, I'll spoil you rotten"

"Sounds perfect" I say, I take another deep breath moving again to get comfortable, the baby stopped kicking thankfully "What shall we name her?"

Bucky thinks for a moment, his eyes look down to my bump and then back to my eyes "Hmm, I don't know...Do you have any names in mind?"

"I'm not sure" I say truthfully. 

Bucky smiles and reaches up gently to caress my cheek. "We have plenty of time to figure it out, we can look through the baby books to get some ideas"

"I like that idea" I say wistfully, the water relaxing my whole body. "She's not kicking anymore...We should pick godparents, I know we won't be officially baptising her, but I'd like to have two people there incase anything happens to us" 

"That's a good idea darling" He agrees, his expression suddenly very serious, he takes my hand in his and squeezes it gently. 

"Who though?" I ask. 

I watch as Bucky thinks for a moment, his hand still holding mine. "Hmm, well I would like Steve to be one of those people, he's reliable, responsible and he'd do anything to protect her"

"Yeah Stevie's an obvious choice" I smile, I knew Bucky would probably have picked Steve, so it only made sense that I chose my best friend.

"I'd like Nat to be a godparent too, she's my best friend, she's do anything for me and for our little girl" I say softly, my eyes drooping slightly, the bath relaxing me. 

"I have another thing to tell you" I say suddenly, I had meant to tell Bucky this earlier today, but I had completely forgotten. Bucky cocked his head, looking at me, waiting for me to speak. 

"Tony has been renovating a new apartment space for us, it'll be bigger with a main bedroom, a nursery and a small living room and connected kitchen, he thought it'd be nice for when the baby was here" I say, nerves kicking up over my body. 

"That makes sense doll, we spend every night together anyway, might as well make it permanent" He grins and moves forward pressing a kiss to my forehead. 

"We can paint her nursery pink" I giggle sleepily. 

Bucky chuckles at my excitement, his eyebrows lifting in amused surprise. "Pink huh? You already have your heart set on pink?"

"Oh definitely, my favourite colour is pink, and I have a feeling she will love it too!" I grin. 

"Oh, you think so huh? You think she'll take after her mama?" 

"I hope so, knowing my luck she'll be a complete mini you" I smirk. Bucky laughs softly, a cocky smirk on his lips. 

"You say that like it's a bad thing" 

"Hmm maybe" I smirk playfully "I can't believe we're having a daughter, like we're having a baby" 

Bucky's smile softens, his expression turning fond as he gazes to my baby bump, as it poked above the water slightly. "Yeah doll, I can't believe it either, it's surreal...In a few months we'll have a little girl, it's kind of crazy to think about"

"We really need to start shopping" I say laughing softly, we hadn't done any shopping yet. "So, we gonna talk about earlier?" I ask, thinking back to the sex, the warmth in my legs growing as I thought about it. I watch as Bucky blushes. 

"I guess we got a little carried away...Didn't we?" He said sheepishly. 

"You seemed to like it...daddy" I smirked. I watched as his blush deepens, his smirk widening into a cocky grin. 

"Don't get cheeky doll, talking to daddy like that"

"I'm sorry daddy" I smirk, blowing bath bubbles at him. He laughs, his expression transforming into a look of playfulness. 

"You're not sorry, you're being a brat" He says, his voice low and dark. 

"Okay...so you definitely like the daddy play" I say smirking. 

"Oh yeah doll, I really liked it. Couldn't you tell by my reaction?" He says, his expression slightly mischievous. 

"Think I'm done with the bath" I say, standing up, I watch as Bucky shamelessly lets his gaze wander up and down my naked body, admiring my figure. I grab a towel and dry myself off, Bucky grabs me a new set of pyjamas, helping me get into them, I smiled warmly at him, feeling my heart swell. We climbed back into bed, he follows me, and wraps his arms around me, pulling me close against his body, he nuzzles his face into my neck, his breath tickling my skin. 

"Goodnight Buck" I whisper. I feel as Bucky presses a kiss to my skin "Goodnight doll, sleep well, sweet dreams" He rambles, I wait a little bit, not able to fall asleep just yet, I snuggle closer to him, listening to his breathing, I smiled softly when I heard soft snores next to me. I turn my head slightly to look at him. Bucky was asleep, he looked so peaceful, and perfect. 

"I love you" I whisper, as I close my eyes, resting my forehead against his, ready to sleep. 

(I do not consent my works to be posted anywhere else, by anyone other than myself)

Taglist:

@quinquinquincy @jaybbygrl @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @learisa @hi172826 @ravennablue @purplecolordeer @a-small-blue-nebula @buckitostan

[askthefamous8]

Even if I haven't been very active lately, 9 years is still pretty significant- happy birthday to the blog!

So like Percy up there I'm gonna do so dome reflecting. This blog's where I've often done that for some reason, but here's the tl'dr for blog related stuff.

• I would like to keep drawing stuff but feeling generally unsure in myself, and I'm wondering if all the years of fandom harrassment have caught up with me • I have one big project in mind, I've been dipping my toe into what I'd need to do it. No spoilers but it was one of the first things I played around with this series, so do with that what you will • If I can keep myself drawing, I want to use more of the original source material since I'm struggling with original ideas. So stuff like redraws, hOpEfULlY even animatics, just like what originally got me so into trains yknow? Because that's fun and sparks joy. And that always goes down a treat with you guys so bonus • As always I appreciate you guys not coming after me for being so inconsistent

The rest of this is me doing what Percy's doing in the drawing and reflecting, as there is indeed much 2 think about. It's also a little sad and venty so, there's your warning there.

.

Ok so obviously a busy year, we moved into our new house that we actually own, I spent most of the year planning our wedding, and then got married. Big stuff. Also! I came off antidepressants in the summer. I've been on them for...basically as long as this blog, 6 months after I started it I think. Which also means I'd been on antidepressants my entire adult life. Feels like a big deal and I guess I'm still adjusting.

Another big thing, but sad, is that my dog died about two weeks ago. If you follow me on twitter you'll have seen her but she did make an appearance here a few Halloweens ago

I got her when she was 13 and had her 8 years after that. So that's been difficult. Unrelated to that (probably), but I just feel...really mediocre. And before you point out the obvious, this has been present even before I came off antidepressants. But yeah just... mediocrity. In myself as a person, how I look, what I draw, my whole life really (barring my marriage thankfully). What have I achieved? I'm 26, I'm not working, I don't feel well, my art isn't good (I don't think so anyway- like yeah it's technically fine I guess but it's not, and has never been, very stand-out or impressive). And lately art doesn't bring me the same joy it once did, and I'm wondering if all the years of harrassment from this fandom (mostly the twitter side, tumblr's been pretty good to me) has finally caught up with me and put me off the whole thing. Or worse, that I just don't have as much of an interest in it anymore. I don't think I'll ever be like "ok yep I'm officially done with this blog" because I'm so stubborn but idk. I want to make things and be creative, I want to make more train art, but it doesn't feel the same. I don't know what's wrong. What do you listen to? What you want vs what you feel? I still enjoy train stuff, I love going to Awdry Ex every year. It's been like this for awhile. It's not even like I have a strong feeling of what I'd rather be doing as far as careers go. And even if I did, oh yeah I'm sure my two degrees in animation will be very relevant in another field (sarcasm). I feel adrift. My sails are open but there is just no wind. Planning my wedding gave me something to do and work on and just, feel useful but now that that's over I feel lost again. Losing my dog, who had become the center of my life because of how vulnerable she had become, hasn't helped.

On the more creative side of things, I also don't really know what to do with this blog's story either. The show's ended as far as most people are concerned, and I kiiinda wrote myself into a corner because once Thomas turns 18 he's going to leave for university, and that sets off this whole arc with James but basically the problem is it involves characters leaving and for some reason that feels like a no-no here. Don't get me started on the timeline lol. But Thomas works on a railway on Sodor, that's how it has to be...right? I guess I'm sort of at a crossroads of, ok do I want this to be close to the source material, and thus easily digestible to newcombers? Or do I want to make it more and more my thing and distanced from the source material? I doubt there's many new people coming since the series ended. And even then, there's a lot more humanization artists around now than when I started, so it's not like I'm filling a niche anymore. Just to be clear it's fine and also good that there's more humanization artists, variety is good, I just don't feel as "needed" anymore (which is 100% in my head and not an actual role that belongs to me or something). I started this blog when I was 17, so my interests and what I relate to have changed obviously. The character designs certainly have. It's never followed a super rigid story plan, but the core of it has always been the central cast doing things on Sodor. I however have always had a scene/project/animatic/whatEver in mind for when this 'series' would '''officially''' ''''end''''. But then what comes after that? I've always tried to run this blog like they are Real People that You interact with. But in real life there is no ending to the story, there's always more stuff to come. You get married, and it's wonderful, and then life goes on. The credits never roll. So maybe that's what I'm having trouble coping with...the progression of time. Ah, my old nemesis. I've always had trouble with letting go of things. There's nothing to say that I couldn't still draw stuff after the series "ends". I guess any story after Thomas leaves could be like... a sequel series or a spin off or something. Spin-off of a spin-off. Famous 8 All Grown Up. Famous 8 Qurter Life Crisis. Who knows. I certainly don't.

I've also been really into an original project unrelated to this but those don't get as much attention and while I'd like to do something with it one day, I don't feel very confident in being able to make that happen right now. But you know... as far my as art not being super spectacular goes... I think my individual talent has always been is my ideas, like the writing side of things. And then brought to life with my art, which normally isn't anything to write home about but is good enough to convey the idea and be not-awful to look at, lifts both of them beyond what they were individually. Maybe that's what I should focus on. Maybe that's wishful thinking.

So....idk. Idk what I'm doing but I'm trying to be gentle on myself and just let myself continue to drift, to heal from this heavy loss, and then in the New Year I'll try and pick myself up. Then there will be no more big once-in-a-lifetime events coming up, no more just-moved-into-a-house-and-oh-no-there's-a-bunch-of-things-that-need-attention-NOW scenarios, and no more big holidays for awhile. I guess we'll see.

If you read all of this I am so sorry but also thank you for reading my ramblings. And thank you for being around, whether that's been for a few months or for several years, but especially if it's been several years

[ramblinscramblin]

Got a request/suggestion for you if you like. As headcannons or whatever strikes your fancy.

The team has a new recruit! They are one of the most genuine, patient, friendly, sweetest people one could ever meet. They make everyone breakfast in the mornings, they listen to people's problems, they volunteer at a puppy orphanage, talk down muggers in the street, essentially a bottle of sunshine as a person.

On the battlefield however, they are most certainly one of the scariest people alive. They are incredibly strong and durable, no need for weapons when they can tear people apart with their bears hands and teeth. They are brutal, carnage incarnate, and have absolutely no fear whatsoever.

Now, their sweetness is genuine, they are not faking anything. Outside of battle they are one of the most pleasant, stable people on the team. If ever asked, the best reply they can ever give is "This is a war with no true death. (Thanks to the respawn machine) When you can play a game with no consequences, why not have a little fun? ~"

What do the mercs think about their new teammate? How did they react to seeing their first time on the battlefield? How scary is the game with a player who doesn't care?

Sorry about the length, I got all excited. Romantic or platonic is good, and pick whichever mercs you like to focus on.

→Sweetheart Reader who has a Bloodlust!

Genre: Silliness, general

Characters: Scout, Medic, Pyro, Sniper

Content warning: canon typical violence

Thanks so much for this request! This is such a fun idea! I decided to just pick a few of my favs, also relationship is left fairly ambiguous hope that’s all good! Enjoyyyy ٩( ᐛ )و

Scout

Scout enjoys your sweet side, Scout tends to lean towards supportive types since he doesn’t see much of that from the other mercs.

The two of you get along quickly.

We know he secretly loves being babied so he likes that you make breakfast and do all the cleaning.

He’ll probably make fun of you, calling you the teams maid. You let it slide though, maybe playfully teasing him back.

But ultimately he enjoys having someone around who isn’t totally nihilistic and hasn’t already half given up on being happy, it’s a nice change of pace for him.

All that being said, he doesn’t think you’re going to last a second on the battlefield.

Sure, being all starry eyed and happy go lucky is all good and fine around the base, but that’s the type of stuff that breaks you on the battlefield, respawns or not.

Genuinely tries to talk you out of it the first time you’re set to go out.

“Are you sure you really thought this through? Nobody’d be mad if ya skipped out on us, maybe Pauling has another type-a job for you.”

“Scout, it’s sweet you care so much, but I assure you I have it under control.”

He’s unconvinced so he goes into it feeling the need to protect you.

After he is literally doused in BLU teams blood, it’s pretty glaringly obvious you don’t need him.

Is in genuine awe, hardly fights the whole match, just watches you in… terror? Amazement? Surprise? He’s not exactly sure what he’s feeling, but there is a lot of it.

He’s definitely more wary from that point forward of making any sort of jokes about you.

Medic

Medic is wholly distrusting of your whole “good guy” act.

It might seem nice, and maybe you are but nobody gets into your position by being all smiles all the time he knows that.

Once he does a bit of inspecting on your character and a whole lot of judging, finding out that you are seriously just that golden hearted is a serious surprise to him.

You may point out to him that’s it’s pretty unfair of him of all people to be suspicious, the guy who smiles while doing open heart surgery, which he concedes.

He’s much more receptive to your niceness from then on.

Doesn’t fear so much for your safety on the battlefield, your kindness was not a good enough scale for how you would perform in battle, at least in Medics eyes.

Feels much more drawn to you after seeing your insane side.

Once seeing you on the battlefield he feels he finally has the full picture of who you are, and enjoys your company much more.

Your attitudes of being fairly frivolous on the battlefield have earned the two of you a rather unnerving reputation, but neither of you care, content to be menaces on the ground.

Sniper

Likewise, Sniper is a little suspicious about your behavior.

A puppy shelter? The sweet conversations? Helping at soup kitchens? It’s all a little on the nose for his tastes.

The kicker for him was when you somehow turned a violent drunk man on the street into a weeping mess, talking him through his childhood trauma. You really were just that tooth rottingly sweet.

Gets used to it, keeps his distance, but gets used to it.

After seeing you in battle he is even more put off. Of course, he respects your play, just the same way that he has some base level of respect for his teammates but it never goes beyond that.

He has strict codes he sticks to on the battlefield, and seeing you so lax about respect just sort of rubs him the wrong way.

You two probably don’t end up seeing eye to eye all too often, and may butt heads fairly often because of this.

But at the end of the day, you’re both teammates, and everyone else on the team loves you so much that it makes Mick feel like an asshole for having any negative feelings towards you.

Pyro

Wow! You guys get along so great!

Pyro is the exact same way, relatively beloved due to kindness off the battlefield but feared during the fight.

Pyro adores how kind and compassionate you are, wants to do all your helping stuff with you. Even if they don’t really know how to properly help anyone without starting a fire.

They will “help” with cooking and cleaning, just enjoying trying to be helpful.

You show up in a lot of their pyro land drawings, and they do enjoy spending a lot of time with you, and you them!

Pyro also loves helping out with you on the battlefield! Spreading peace and love is that much easier when you’re by their side.

Or at least… that’s Pyros version of events.

Sorry for the wait, having the worst burnout, but I am pressing on for u guys (￣^￣)ゞ hope you enjoyed!