#I think I get consumed by my obsessions

[miss0atae]

What love can do in Meet You at the Blossom and how it can shape your life (after Ep 3 & 4):

It took me a while to write this post because I changed its title so many times. I wasn't sure I was conveying my thoughts properly. I wanted to write about the healing power of love between Huai En and Xiao Bao, but I had so much to say before so this title didn't work anymore.

[gif by khunkinn] @khunkinn

It's not a coincidence you can find the same pattern in some of the characters from My Stand In and Meet You at the Blossom since they were written by the same writer. Huai En and Ming, both had shitty parenting when they were young and it mostly came from their father. More than Ming, Huai En was shaped by his relationship with his father. His mother and his father were childhood sweetheart who never got the chance to be together because she was taken away by Huai En's uncle and he made her as his concubine. We also learned Huai En was born out of wedlock. His uncle's legitimate wife was jealous and tried to kill Huai En and his mother. His father wanted to save them (mostly his mother I think) but failed and Huai En's mother died trying to save the father. Huai En and his father found a way to escape and he was raised to seek revenge for the death of his mother. However, it didn't make them close. Huai En's father seems to consider that his son is also partly responsible for the death of his mother. It's not yet explain why… but because of his bias Huai En's father unfairly treated his son. In episode 4, Huai En explains to Xiao Bao how his father beat and scold him during his childhood. Huai En had no other choice but to obey him “unconditionally” or he would suffer physical pain. We can also assume he suffered mentally too.

[gif by omgtheregoesthefuckidontgive] @omgtheregoesthefuckidontgive

Huai En has been having recurring nightmares about the mistreatment of his father. He seems to remember vividly trying to avoid falling from a cliff and found no help from his father. Quite the opposite, he was also mocked by his father. It is likely something he had experience while he was young and that became so traumatic that he can't forget it. We could say that Huai En is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder since this event. A father is supposed to care about his children. That's what we naturally expect from any “good” parents. It's hard to understand why his father thought his son should be responsible for his mother's death. We haven't had enough insight on what his going on in Huai En's father head. However, we know he is very controlling and don't let his son do what he wants in life. Huai En only purpose is to help him get the revenge he wants. Anything outside this is considered useless and unimportant. I don't think Huai En even got the chance to really know what he wants or dreams for outside this purpose. He doesn't get to voice his opinion or to have something just for him. He must live for his father's desire. It was shown during episode 4, when Huai En had a vision of his father telling me:

“Remember, you were born to redeem yourself for your mother’s sake. Don’t harbor unworthy thoughts for anyone of anything. Understand? Don’t even think of trying to escape. No matter where on Earth, you can’t escape from my grasp”.

I’m still trying to wrap my head over this fact. When Huai En told the story of how he was born, his mother was still alive. So I don’t get why his father would be so hard on him when he is supposed to be the love fruit of the love he had for his mother. I wonder if his father is the kind of man who would value his spouse over his child. We know his father has an obsessive love for his mother. It wasn’t just the “I want to avenge her” it feels more like “she was supposed to be mine and I lost her so I will enact my revenge”. Huai En’s father appears to have an overwhelming obsessive desire to possess and protect his lover and he has an inability to accept failure of keeping her alive. It doesn’t matter if to get his revenge he has to hurt his own son. I believe this type of love is the only one Huai En had ever experience so he doesn’t understand it’s not a normal or healthy way of loving someone. He must have avoided to be with anyone because the only love he knows is the one his father has for his mother. Love is a painful affair. It can lead to obsession and physical pain. That’s why he is so startled by Xiao Bao regular love confessions.

[gif by guzhufuren]

Xiao Bao had an entirely different childhood. His parents seem to have a healthy relationship and to love each other. Xiao Bao is their only son so they spoiled him and made sure he had a good life where he wants for nothing. You can see how they care for him and wants him to be happy. Since he was loved and taking care of, Xiao Bao grew up to be a nice person who is not shy to show his love. He never had to experience the “dark side” of love. For him, this is only a positive thing. He is also a very charming man; very genuine so when he fell in love with Huai En, he didn't dither and decided to pursue him. It didn't matter to him if Huai En wasn't the woman he thought he was. As long as there is love, it's enough for him. Compared to what Huai En is used to know about love, Xiao Bao's vision seems quite refreshing. Especially as they are in a time period where queer love was frown upon, Xiao Bao's view of love, gender and norms is fairly modern. He claims he will find a way of making their relationship being accepted by his parents. Why is he not afraid of claiming his love for Huai En, despite him being a man? It's because Xiao Bao is sure of his parents' love for him. This trust exists because he was raised this way.

[gif by guzhufuren] @guzhufuren

Xiao Bao may appear to be a fool, but he is more than what he seems. He isn't a great tactician or a skilled warrior, but he is knowledgeable when it comes to emotions. It was shown when he had a conversation about love and death with Xiao Bao. He admits that humans lives for emotions and desires and that you can be sad when you lose a loved one. However you can't be miserable all your life because of this. This vision of life is in opposition with everything Huai En has been taught from childhood. I would even say he was stunned. Xiao Bao understood that Huai En because of his past can't really understand what love is supposed to be and he is ready to teach him. I think he does have strong feelings for Huai En. He may pout or act silly sometimes, but when Huai En conceded if they were someone he truly wants to love, it would be Xiao Bao, it truly delighted him. He is not the kind of person to sulk for too long. He is so genuine and overjoyed. I'm not going to say it'll be easy for them. Even if Huai En despises his father's love for his mom and really wants to experience a healthy relationship, the way this love shaped his vision of life will have an impact on his relationship with Xiao Bao. You can quite see it when he is adamant about Xiao Bao having “no thought about others” or to never lie to him. This idea that Xiao Bao wants to be with him “forever” and not just be with him, kinda shows that his past will have an impact. However, I believe Xiao Bao's good nature may soften him.

[gif by ruanbaijie] @ruanbaijie

As he said himself to Huai En, his lover is “tough on outside, but soft inside”.

PS: I edited this post with better credits for the gif creators. I tagged all of you, I hope it's alright. If you prefer that I stopped using your gifs, don't hesitate to tell me. I'll do better with the credits on gif from now on.

[cor-lapis]

Genuinely how did he go to jail for water crimes in the WRONG COUNTRY

[stuckinapril]

I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling

[daily-crowley]

Crowley Of The Day: gorgeous 😍

(I used up all my hashtags that I couldn’t do my usual GO tags that I always do lol I don’t care)

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

HEY HEIST DUO ENJOYERS I haven't drawn them in ages but BOY do I think about them always❤️ here have some food

[forgetful-river]

Sometimes being in love is like getting your eye gored in a fit of purifying violence, sometimes it's not

[vampiric-succulent]

OUAW EP 22 second half:

TW for a bit of gore

COMBAT TIME BABEY

I need a detailed description of how Gideon’s manacles work I Need to Know

TORBEK W MOMENT WHEN HE BECOMES GOREBEK AND MAKES AGDON ACTUALLY SCARED

HOW DID THEY DESIGN THESE CHARACTERS HOLY SHIT

Mace i like your ignition idea but aren’t you also gonna burn down the bridge you’re on??? Nope okay nvm

This guy has a 15ft long scarf. Can’t we just grab that? It’s literally trailing.

Oh fuck. Is Twig dead? No no no

love how Derek just goes “nah fuck that I cast Shield”

“These awesome guys…. And Gricko…..”

THANK GOD SOMETHING HITS HES GRAPPLED GOING DOWN

I LOVE MACE BANGING THE TABLE SO HARD THE BATTLEMAP CAMERA SHAKES

Y’all are IGNORING Twig rn. Can’t someone stabilize her????

Twig is so iconic

NOT TORBEK. THAT IS NOT TORBEK. WHO IS THIS GUY

Oh my god.

GEAR TWOOOO— Woah that’s a bisection.

MY HEART. KREMY DO NOT LET TWIG DIE.

“I don’t feel so good Mr Kremy” GAH

Hootsie is magic??? I guess that makes sense

DONT CLOSE YOUR EYES TWIG

I feel like maybe Gricko should have been able to roll a perception check when Agdon stole something from him underwater— even at disadvantage— how is Agdon seeing? Magic?

Frost could be such a good villain who uses sympathy as a weapon— “I can save you”

What is this random frog doing here? Also I bet Frost looks lowkey ridiculous trying to talk to Agdon through the swamp midfight

YES GRICKO IS GOING FOR THE SCARF wait. This could uh. Be a trap

HARE TODAY GONE TOMORROW I GOT IT

not the chuckles coming out for battle 😭

Gorebek is so fucking scary. I love this so much.

YES THEY GOT HIM HOLY FUCK

Oh fuck Torbek is gonna drown

Twig how are you just making banaña bread right now

TORBEK MY LOVE

Oh fuck vaguely Russian gourd headed scarecrow

WHAT?????? GEHENNA????????? WHAT KID CAME UP FROM THERE????????????

Holy FUCK that’s a way to end a session

PLEASE tell me more about the Gear System. Also oh my god this was such a good episode. Holy shit.

[aaabatteryy]

apologies to all the people that followed me for bsd stuff and are now watching me spiral into gravity falls and my occasional deadpool x wolverine (poolverine? i forgot the ship name) reblogs

[alltimefail]

Please god either (1) release me from the throes of this Dead Boy Detectives hyperfixation or (2) let us get renewal news ASAP so the hyperfixation in question does not kill me

[jemmo]

i didnt watch unknown as it was airing bc i knew it would consume me so i decided to binge it all today. i was correct. it has consumed me.

[misiahasahardname]

i swear i’m gonna draw more tmnt stuff i’m just brainrotting hard over primos

[colloquialcolors]

in similar vein to reading watership down and being pleasantly surprised by how hopeful it was i have now finished reading haunting of hill house and have been kind of pleasantly surprised by how. sapphic. it was. i mean its a horror story and has left me with the correct sense of sort of quiet unease and like. im going to need to think about it for a while and like. damn. but it also was QUITE queer in ways i was not expecting going in. so thats fun! (said while thinking about houses and walls and unreliable narrators and dissolving sense of self)

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[bunnihearted]

ཻ۪۪♡.

[skrunksthatwunk]

stole this chart from @asubakaa and spent wayyy too much time making my own so. yeah. also i did 6 instead of 5 bc i know no restraint

[mysterionrisez]

man ill lose followers for this one but it takes a LOT of ignorance to pretend that there isnt SOMETHING happening with kyle and cartman.