#I straight up could not focus on the actual wedding happening

[awshitanalliegator]

I’ve been trying to catch up with criminal minds while I was in quarantine, and lo and behold I arrive at the season 14 finale eager to see what goes on. Oh how naive and foolish I was.

[ghouldtime]

I feel like König can absolutely melt your heart like this in the kitchen while a big pot of stew is simmering. Feel like it would be mid winter, a cozy fire going in the living room, probably a smudge of paint on his face from having just completed the miniature diorama he made of your wedding day or something. I JUST FEEL LIKE HES SECRETLY A HOPELESS ROMANTIC

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/CZRSbWa5D1b2ryCA/?mibextid=uSdriS

(If you don't want to click the link, it's cool. It's like a really slow beautiful old timey princess kind of dance. Lots of twirling and the holding hands behind your back kind of thing?)

I'm sorry I'm bursting yet another bubble here 😭 while that's a sweet thought and he has plenty of romantic actions to boot, he's not a hopeless romantic or even close to it.

A hopeless romantic is someone who believes in love conquering all and they have an idealistic view of it. They're someone who believes in love, no matter what they've seen or their past. They're someone who holds onto love above all and usually centers their life around it.

He doesn't even come close. Truth be told, he's extremely pessimistic and is near the polar opposite of that 😭

He's seen a lot, experienced a lot, and has never been one to feel that way. After being ruthlessly bullied as a kid for simply existing as himself and seeing his comrades torn into meat confetti for stepping one foot too far, he's doesn't exactly have a pearly world view. He doesn't think about love first, or second, or even third, fourth, or fifth. Love wasn't a focus for him or an interest - it wasn't a necessity in that department, he's been without romantic love most of his life, why would he need it then or now?

Love didn't stop bullets from spiraling towards you on the field, love can't conquer all when things like hate, retribution, and vengeance are sung much stronger in his world. Love could motivate but it destroyed many from the inside out. He wasn't going to start believing in love or wanting it just cause.

Sure, he had familial love. He loves his parents and that did wonders in a world that was usually otherwise cruel towards him. But romantic? He wasn't ever particularly interested. To him, it's usually yet another complication in the line of things. And anyone who is nice to him, he's usually suspicious of. He doesn't let people close for a reason.

Quite frankly, he usually thinks others have ulterior motives, especially if they're trying to cozy up to him. All his life, he's pretty much been an outcast. People tended to only be nice when they wanted something. He can count on one hand the few people who have genuinely been nice to him without WANTING something from him, whether that be his perks with his rank or just to have him as a human shield as they charge into battle.

He was the awkward kid, the loner, the one no one talked to in school. He never had a romantic life there. And he went straight to the military which left him no time or room for one - not that he cared for it. It's just not something he cared for or went after because he hadn't really experienced it and it wouldn't do him any good. He's seen how many marriages end and heard of all the troubles.

He was never actively looking for it or thinking of love. He wasn't seeking it because he's seen how miserable people are in and out of it. He's very much "if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I'm happy with being me." König is a very independent man, he's fine on his own and is content with himself and where he stands.

I actually wouldn't describe him as any kind of romantic aside from unintentional because it's not a conscious thought! He's not doing it to woo or impress or to be a big gesture, he's just doing it because he likes you and wants to see you happy. What he does isn't born out of romance or desire or the want for either - it's just from the heart. It's an instinct.

He's not thinking of how romantic it would be as he plants your favorite flowers in his garden. He's growing them because he wants to see you happy and wants to put more of what you like in the world. He stocks your favorite drinks and snacks in his house because he wants you over - he wants you happy, comfortable, and enjoying his company. His actions are how he shows how he feels, but he's also not actively doing it because he's enamored with love itself or loving and how it feels. He doesn't care about the idea of love in particular, but he cares about you and what he feels for you.

He isn't making a diorama of the wedding because it's a romantic gesture, he's doing it because it captured how you both felt that day - and how truly beautiful you were in that moment, outshining the stars that danced above that night. He's memorializing his love in every brushstroke and clay flower, making sure to take extra care on the model he built of you. If he could relive any day over and over, it would be that. Sadly, he doesn't have that power, so he'll stick for the photos that captured it and the replicas he could make to truly memorialize it in the physical realm for years to come.

König's love isn't flashy, it isn't showy, it isn't meant to be something grand or fairytale levels of romance. It's simply his. Will he make you a ballgown if you wanted? Absolutely, but he's no prince, nor a king despite his name. Will he dance with you like that if you wanted? Absolutely. But that's not his first thought or a fantasy he really thinks of unless you implement it in his head. He's just him, living in the smaller moments of life. He doesn't need to show off to the world, he doesn't need it to be extravagant or formal, he doesn't need it to be by the books romantic - all of what he does is heartfelt, that's what he knows matters. And it has to be with and for you 💚 that's what matters the most

He's more one for holding you close and slow dancing in the kitchen as the water in the kettle boils, with no rush to be anywhere else. He's not hopelessly romantic, he's not even intentionally romantic, the only thing he's hopelessly in is love 💚

Besides, he's gotta save some moves for the wedding to make it that much more special 👀(he's signing you both up for ballroom dancing the second you express wanting anything like that. He's already picking out the fabric for the dress too)

[tkwrites]

An Infinite Kind of Love - A 300 follower celebration fic - Matthew Tkachuk x ofc

Photo from Pinterest

Title: An Infinite Kind of Love

Author: Tory / @tkwrites 

Relationship: Pre-established: Matthew Tkachuk x Sophie (ofc)

Warnings: Other than mentions of a not great biological father, it’s all fluff. 

Summary: Matthew and Sophie get married! 

Word count: 3,800

Comments: I hit 300 followers way back on July 12 and set up this poll to determine the fic I would write in celebration. We’d just passed the 4th of July, and I had a very specific idea for Matthew and Sophies wedding because of it. 

This fic has actually been finished for about 3 weeks, but I was worried people would be upset if I posted it before the latest Quinn and Sarah Snapshot went up. So, here it is. 

I hope you enjoy seeing Matthew and Sophie get married! If you did, please consider commenting, reblogging, or sending in an ask. I love hearing your thoughts about my writing!

Also we're just going to pretend the suit in this photo is navy because I couldn't find a photo of Matthew in a navy suit other than last years NHL Awards suit, which is not a suit for a wedding.

An Infinite Kind of Love

A Matthew and Sophie Fic

“Can someone get Matthew?” Sophie asked. 

“Of course.” Taryn darted out to run across the courtyard. 

When she got back to the suite, Matthew was running in after her. 

Gwen was naked to the waist and yelped. 

He slapped a hand over his eyes. “Sorry! Sorry! Soph?”

She rushed to him, pulling him out onto the balcony. “It's safe,” she said, nudging his hand down. 

The late afternoon sun turned her into nothing more than a silhouette. He had to blink a few times before she came into focus. She'd changed from the short ivory colored dress she'd worn to brunch into a set of loose satin pajamas. Her hair was in rollers, and even with brows that looked too heavy without the rest of her makeup done, she still looked beautiful. 

“What's wrong?” he asked, his hands automatically going to her arms, rubbing up and down. He didn't think it would actually happen, but thoughts of her calling off the wedding had still weaseled their way into the back of his mind when Taryn raced into the groom's room telling him Sophie wanted to see him. 

“Nothings wrong,” she said, looking into his face. Despite only wearing a t-shirt and shorts, he looked fresh faced, and handsome. He and the boys had gone to the barber shop after brunch, and they'd done his hair so his curls were perfectly set and defined. It took all her willpower to not run her fingers through them. They’d also given him a straight edge shave, and she could tell how soft his cheeks would be without even touching them. 

She preferred a bit of scruff on him, but he'd insisted he'd rather be clean shaven, saying he didn't want to look like a Muppet on their wedding day.

“Plus,” he'd said with a mischievous glint in his eye, “don't want to give you any beard burn,” before rubbing her cheek with his stubbled jaw.

She’d laughed and told him she didn’t mind. 

“What's up?” he asked now, looking relieved. 

“I just wanted to see you,” she said, stepping into him and wrapping her arms around his chest. 

As his arms enclosed around her, she felt his chuckle at the same time she heard it. 

“I missed you, too,” he said. With the rollers, he couldn’t tuck his face into her hair the way he liked to. He settled for resting his lips on her forehead. 

“For being our wedding day, we don't see very much of each other,” she said.

While they’d had a brunch with many of their wedding guests before coming to the ceremony venue to get ready, they’d slept apart the night before and spent much of the morning away from each other. Then, they were supposed to be apart until the first look and the ceremony. It felt incongruous. This was a celebration of their union. Shouldn't they be together?  

“I know. It's bullshit,” he whispered. 

“What aftershave did they use?” she asked. He smelled fresh like cut grass and mountain air. 

“I'm not sure. I picked it because I thought you'd like it.”

The simpleness of the act and of his thoughtfulness made her a little weak in the knees. “It smells really nice.”

Matthew closed his eyes, drinking in the feel of her body pressed to his, her breath on his neck and her nose in the soft spot under his jaw. Knowing that he'd picked right made pride swell in his chest.

“I'll ask them and get some,” he said. 

Pulling back, she leaned up to kiss him. 

It wasn't anything extravagant. It wasn't a kiss that made him break into a hot sweat or one that brought him to his knees. It was loving and soft. There was tongue, because with Sophie, there was always a little tongue. 

They kissed a few more times before she pulled away to find a look of adoration on his handsome face as he smiled down at her. 

Caught in the moment, they stayed that way for a few beats longer, just staring at each other until someone cleared their throat.

In the back of her mind, Sophie knew they were all in the room, but it was still a bit shocking when they looked over to find all her bridesmaids, both of their moms and the wedding photographer all gathered around the balcony door. 

“You guys are so cute,” Gwen gushed. 

There wasn't much about their wedding that was traditional. Instead of the usual noon, 2 or 5 o'clock ceremonies, their ceremony was set to begin at 8:30 so it would be dark enough by the time they kissed. They served a cocktail hour with food before the ceremony, at which the bridal party, minus the bride, mingled. After the vows, they were headed to a late-night reception with food trucks, cocktails, and partying. 

With 20 minutes to go before the ceremony, they all snuck off to a more secluded part of the garden. The groomsmen insisted they wanted to do a first look with Sophie. It turned into a whole thing: groomsmen along with Keith and her stepdad Greg. Then Matthew would come in and join them to get his own first look.

Sophie was hidden behind a trellis in another part of the garden with both of their moms and her bridesmaids. 

Her mom grabbed her hand to stop her from nervously pulling at her dress, and Sophie felt butterflies attack her stomach. 

Before the bridesmaids went out to join the guys, Taryn wrapped her in a tight hug. When they parted, she held Sophie at arms length to look her over. “Matthew’s gonna shit himself,” she said, tone full of a kind of teasing approval Sophie never experienced until she’d met Matthew. Their family teased, but mostly, it was all in good fun. It was rarely the kind of needling teasing she got from her dad as a child.

Once she’d tried it on for the first time, Sophie couldn’t stop thinking about Matthew seeing her in this dress. She’d had it custom-made, pieces of a few dresses stolen and sewn together to make exactly what she’d wanted. The bodice had a plunging neckline that narrowed between her breasts, so it wasn’t all that scandalous and floral embroidery that cascaded down onto the A-line skirt. It was simple and understated, just left of center enough to make it unique and just off white enough to be flattering. If the color were a little darker, it might be called blush.

She knew Matthew would love it because she loved it. That was just the kind of guy he was. But Taryn’s reaction still made her insides fizz like champagne. 

Upon a prompt from their wedding planner, Sophie walked out. 

The groomsmen were lined up, facing away from her.

They turned around when the photographer, who was standing off to the side with full view of everyones reactions, gave the signal.

As Sophie watched, a broad grin spread over every face. Greg and Keith both started crying, which she hadn’t expected. Keith pulled his glasses off so he could wipe his eyes. 

Greg rushed forward to gather her into a hug. His chest shook with sobs as he whispered, “thank you for letting me be here.”

“You’re the best dad, Greg. I’m so glad you’re here.” 

“Matthew’s one lucky son of a bitch,” he said, wiping his eyes. “I’m so proud of you.” 

She hugged him again, squeezing extra tight. 

Her brother followed. “You're so pretty, Soph,” he said.  

“You look really handsome in your suit,” she said, wiping at her own tears that had finally spilled over. 

He worked his thumbs under his suspenders and puffed out his chest. 

Their laughter was loud and raucous as she struck a pose of her own. 

When it was his turn, Keith gathered her into his barrel chest and lifted her off the ground in a bear hug.

She let out a surprised little squeak and giggled as her feet kicked out behind her.

“I don’t know —” Keith had to stop to wipe his eyes again after he set her back down, “I don’t know what Matthew did to get on your good side, but I’m sure glad he did.” 

“You raised a good man,” she said, patting him on the chest as they parted, “that’s what he did.” 

He gave her a watery smile and went back to Chantal and Taryn, slinging an arm around each of them.

“Matthew’s gonna lose his mind,” Sam whispered in her ear as they hugged.

She giggled, hoping he was right. 

And finally (finally, finally!), Matthew was walking down the garden path next to Brady, looking as nervous and excited as she felt and so handsome in his navy blue suit. He had his Louis Vuitton belt on. Even though she thought it was a little distracting to wear to a wedding, he insisted it was his signature piece and couldn’t go without it. She found an indulgent smile on her face, glad he was wearing something he loved so much. At least she’d convinced him to wear real dress shoes and not those ridiculous mules he’d been sporting to the arena all season. 

Sophie came into view, and all at once, Matthew felt tears sting his eyes. He’d known he would cry. He knew there was no hope of stopping it. He loved her so much, and this whole day had him all discombobulated. This wasn’t even the first time he’d cried, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. 

After today, he would be her husband. Her husband. He would be her husband, and she would be his wife.  And —

She was wearing the most beautiful dress he’d ever seen. Simple and elegant and completely Sophie. A strong pang of longing, love, and nostalgia pulled through him when he realized her lips were even painted the same pink they had been on their first date. 

She was perfect.

“Oh my god,” he said, awestruck as they joined the group. 

She knew he would probably do that no matter what she was wearing, but it still felt good. 

Brady stepped forward and gathered her into a hug. “You look beautiful, Soph,” he said before going to stand with Emma, wiping a few tears from his eyes as he leaned down to whisper to her about how much this reminded him of their own wedding. 

Finally standing in front of her, Matthew was at a loss for words. Eventually, he just said the thing that kept running through his mind. “Holy Shit.”

Everyone around them laughed. 

Matthew continued to stare silently as everyone else headed back to start ushering the guests into the ceremony seats. 

“I don’t…” he paused, trying to articulate the words. He wasn’t sure there were words for what he was feeling. “Fuck.” 

She burst into laughter. “Is that good? Or bad?” 

“Good,” he said, half of his mouth tipping up in a smile. “You’re –” he blinked a few times, “you’re so pretty, Sophie.”

Heat flushed into her cheeks. “Thank you. I think you look really handsome.” 

“You don’t mind the belt?” he asked, tone and eyes teasing as he hooked his thumbs behind it. 

“Nope,” she stepped forward and threw her arms around his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he said into her hair, getting a mouth full of hairspray. He turned to lay his cheek against it instead. 

“I can’t believe it’s finally here.” 

“I know,” she whispered. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket at the same time he saw her mom walking down the path that led from the ceremony. 

“It’s time for me to go,” he whispered. 

Tightening her arms around him, she resisted nuzzling into his shirt, knowing she’d get makeup all over the starched white material. 

“I’ll see you in a minute,” she said, pulling back to look into his face. 

He dipped down to drop a quick kiss to her lips. “See you in a minute, my betrothed.”

He’d started calling her that after some venue asked him if he and “his betrothed” would be attending a catering tasting together. 

“Soon not to be,” she said with a wink. 

He laughed, stole another quick kiss, and hugged her mom before jogging to meet Brady, who was waiting at the end of the path. 

Sophie asked her mom to walk her down the aisle. She thought the idea of a man giving a woman away was archaic anyway, but especially after her dad left, she vowed never to have a man walk her down the aisle at her wedding. 

So when the music started to play for their bridal party, an instrumental version of Here Comes the Sun — requested by Matthew because he called Sophie his ray of sunshine and they were heralding her entrance — she and her mom walked to the end of the pathway that was serving as their aisle. 

Everything looked beautiful. Matthew was standing with their officiant — someone he grew up with who was now a pastor — under a large trellis, covered in a vine of blooming jasmine. The small white flowers (another reason her dress couldn’t be white) stood out against the mens dark suits and the lilac of the bridesmaids' dresses. Everything was bathed in the gentle golden glow of the candles, lanterns, and fairy lights strewn throughout the garden. It was like walking into a dream.

The song she would walk down the aisle to began, it’s jazzy, guitar playing softly from the speakers hidden around their guests. 

The officiant instructed everyone to stand, and they did, turning to look at her, as she and her mom stopped at the end of the sidewalk. 

While everyone looked at her, she looked at Matthew. Watching his smile and his breathless excitement as she made her way to him. He was even bouncing on the balls of his feet. Her own heart ticked in her ears, and she concentrated on the song lyrics in an effort to keep herself from running to him. 

When we were strangers I watched you from afar When we were lovers I loved you with all my heart But now it's getting late And the moon is climbing high I wanna celebrate See it shining in your eyes Because I'm still in love with you I wanna see you dance again Because I'm still in love with you On this harvest moon

Watching Sophie walk down the aisle, her lips painted the same color pink they were on their first date, it felt a little like watching her walk through their history. He was outrageously glad to be on this side of it, having won her trust and love and finding himself in a situation where he had the chance to be with her forever. 

Her mom hugged her and went to sit with Greg. 

Sophie took the last three steps to stand in front of Matthew by herself. She was ready to take this last leap, eager to no longer do this life on her own.

The officiant invited everyone to sit and began talking about matrimony. She missed most of the speech, too busy thinking about the vows she’d written and watching Matthew. The navy suit made his eyes a deeper shade of blue than usual. 

Finally, after what felt to Matthew like forty minutes, though it couldn’t have been more than five, they were invited to read the vows they’d written. 

“When we agreed to write our own vows, I made Soph promise to let me go first so I didn’t have the pressure of trying to follow her.”

Sophie and the crowd laughed. Matthew noticed his mom wipe a tear from her cheek. His dad put an arm around her. 

Taking in a deep breath, Matthew closed his eyes for a moment before looking back to the printed piece of paper Brady had handed him. 

“Sophie,” he began. His voice wobbled a little. The way she was looking at him made him feel light-headed. The culmination of the day coming together and seeing her looking so beautiful in her dress was too much. Truth be told, he was a bit shocked he was even still standing. 

She took his free hand, and the grounding in her touch centered his breathing.

He looked at her and began again.  

“Sophie, if I tried to articulate all the ways I love you, I’m pretty sure we’d be here for several days because I don’t think I could ever find the right words.” 

The audience awed. 

“So instead of that, I wrote down some of the things I love about you, and what I’ll try to be for you, and you’ll just have to put up with the words I’ve got.” 

She snorted, and he heard Brady laugh behind him. 

“So here goes. I love that you make me quiet.” 

Tears pressed behind her eyes. She hadn’t expected him to go for the jugular right off the bat. 

“Most people know I have a pretty hard time shutting up,” he paused, listening to his dad laugh, “but you taught me the value in quiet moments, and I love that I fell in love with you in them. I love that I get a side of you no one else does, and I love that you trust me enough to show it to me.” 

A few tears leaked out and slid down her cheeks. Gwen slipped a tissue into her hand, and Sophie smiled gratefully, pressing it to her lashes to stop her mascara from running.

“I love that you love my family and that I feel like I could be with you forever, and we would never get bored. I love that we’ve created our own little ecosystem and that it thrives because we’re both invested and working on it.” 

His mom was crying into a handkerchief.  

“I can’t promise that I’ll always be this good looking.” 

The suddenness of the joke made Sophie bark out a sudden laugh, much too loud over the amplification system. Her hand slapped over her mouth to quiet the sound, and he laughed indulgently, as if that was the exact reaction he’d been going for. 

“But what I can promise is this: that I’ll always try to protect you, except when it comes to spiders.” He paused for the laughter to die down, “That I’ll always do my best to be present when I’m home, and that I’ll always listen to and help you achieve your dreams. Most of all, I promise that I won’t ever stop trying to earn and deserve your trust and love.”

He folded the paper up. His mom was crying, as was Emma. He was pretty certain Taryn would be tearing up, too, but he couldn’t see her with the way the bridal party was standing. He wanted to end it in some fancy way like he knew she would, but he didn’t know how, other than to say, “I love you and I can’t wait to start this new chapter with you.”

Sophie wiped her nose and dabbed at the tears in her eyes. “I love you, too.”

She sniffed and swallowed, trying to get her bearings.

“Matthew always tries to tell me he isn’t good with words,” Sophie said, giving him a wry look as her fingers squeezed around his, “but I think you all can be the judge of that.” 

He laughed. 

She coughed gently to get some of the tears out of her voice. “When I started writing my vows, I couldn’t think of anything but love. I’ve been trying to understand it my whole life. When I was a kid, I thought I had to parcel out my love to make sure it didn’t run out, and other people had to do the same. Matthew, although you didn’t teach me that there’s an infinite amount of love in the world, you did prove that infinite love exists in a way I had never experienced before with a man.” 

Now he was crying. 

“I’ve always felt a little on my own,” she explained, “a little too quirky to be loved in that big infinite way.” 

The audience was listening, wrapt. This was exactly why he didn’t want to go after her. Not only would he be a mess, there would be no way he could possibly follow her words.

“The last thing I expected in life was for this muscle-bound, curly-haired, rough and tumble hockey player to not only understand my quirks but to embrace and encourage them.” Her voice trembled. “I’m forever grateful I can take down my walls with you, Matthew.”

He took the tissue Brady handed him, unashamed, and wiped the tears from his eyes. 

“And for your patience and consistency, even when I can be skittish and uptight.” She paused, listening to her half of the audience twitter.

“I promise I’ll kill the spiders,” she said, and he laughed along with the rest of their guests. “And I promise to never be unreasonably jealous of your job. But most of all, I promise to always be honest and to love you in the infinite way you showed me was possible.” 

He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to lean in and just lay one on her. Tradition be damned. He pressed his mouth to hers, mumbling how much he loved her against her lips. When he pulled back, her eyes told him how much she loved him in return.

The officiant led them through the traditional “til death do us part” stuff, and they exchanged rings. It was a strange thing to feel the weight of the band on his finger, but Matthew had never been so glad to have something tying him down. It felt like he might just float away without it. 

“You may now kiss the bride,” the officiant said with a wide smile. 

Matthew’s hand slipped up to cradle her jaw, and he looked into her eyes as the fingers on her left hand tapped out five beats on the back of his arm. 

And just like they rehearsed, just like they planned, just like Ryan said it would happen, the moment their lips touched, fireworks screeched to life behind them, screaming into the sky and exploding in a fan of sparks and color and sound. 

It was perfect. 

It was this video, first showing their faces as they looked adoringly at each other and then cutting back to catch the fireworks igniting the moment they kissed, that Matthew shared on his Instagram. 

It’s been fireworks from the first kiss, and we’re still going strong. 

To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist

[starsfic]

Hollow Wedding

The wedding could've come from a magazine spread, it was so perfect.

Notre Dame was decorated in white, the only pops of color being red here and there and the stained glass window cast shimmering pops of color on the couple. On either side of them were the groomsmen and bridesmaids, three each, all dressed in matching outfits. It was a wedding straight out of a movie.

It was beautiful. Perfect.

Hollow.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng could practically feel the hollowness in the air. Despite what Alya claimed, that she still had deep feelings for Adrien, it wasn't that made her feel hollow. It was just too perfect. The way Adrien held his bride's hand, how he placed the ring on her finger, how they kissed. Each motion was perfectly rehearsed and bare of any real emotion.

The only thing that made it imperfect was that Alya kept glancing at her. Ever since Adrien had announced his engagement, she had pushed Marinette to do something about it. She still didn't seem to understand that Marinette no longer wanted Adrien. Since her break up with Luka, of course she would want to rebound with the guy who made her feel shame for her own emotions.

Of course.

Marinette didn't do anything and Alya finally settled with a sigh. She was almost like Chat Noir, who announced he was engaged out of the blue and kept glancing at her ever since the news, probably hoping she would react more than her congratulations.

She hoped his wedding was more real than this.

The reception carried the hollowness as well. It was all perfectly decorated and such as well, but there was nothing that could hide that feeling. And, as she sat down with Alya and Nino, she could see other guests look around, weirdly unsettled.

"Ugh, that was the creepiest ceremony I've ever sat through," Nino said in a whisper. "Like, I thought the bride was about to drop dead."

Marinette nodded. "I noticed it too." She glanced at the stage before Alya could comment any more on "her true feelings". "Aren't you gonna give a speech?"

Nino shook his head. "Nah, dudette. Gabriel made Adrien make his cousin his best man, so he's giving the speech."

"I didn't even know he had a cousin," Alya said as the cousin in question, Felix or something, started talking. "Who was the other guy?"

"I don't know, some model Adrien knows? From what I heard, the bride doesn't even know the bridesmaids, they're all related to Adrien or Emilie somehow."

"Huh? Seriously?"

Alya's eyes went wide. "Oh boy," she said. "Suddenly, I'm glad you never confessed your feelings, Mari."

"I'm glad you finally realized," she couldn't help but snark. Honestly, she would have rather died than have a wedding like this. She would've wanted to be married at the little temple her parents did, blending Chinese and French customs together and even having her parents make her wedding cake. With how Gabriel and Emilie this all felt, she wouldn't be surprised if Adrien's wedding had always been planned to be a wedding do-over. She pushed that thought aside to focus on the issue. "But, the bride didn't know any of them?"

Nino nodded. "Yeah. I asked if...uh..." He paused, trying to think. "I can't remember her name- Akane? I think that's her name, I asked if something had happened so they had to step in, but Adrien kinda just said that she didn't have any friends."

"She could've," Alya snarked, "If she actually bothered to show up to the hang-outs like you invited her to."

The wedding reception, thankfully, grew more lively after dinner was served after that comment. Marinette couldn't help but dance with Alya as Nino DJed, his music providing a spark of life to the hollowness of everything.

Soon, however, she had to pull away. "Getting some air!" she called so Alya could hear, receiving a nod. Marinette walked away from the huddle, stepping out of the reception entirely. The reception had been held in Chloe's hotel with doors leading to the roof.

And, up on the roof, was the bride.

Marinette, the moment she saw the white gown, was tempted to just turn and head back inside. But something in her paused, made her just look at the woman who married her lycee crush.

She was startlingly pretty, with short dark hair and eyes, even with the frostiness that always seemed to follow her, that had a hint of sweetness. The dress looked lovely, but it seemed washed out against her. If Marinette had designed the wedding dress, she would've chosen a more bold color, like red.

And then she realized that the bride was staring at her.

"Uh, hi, sorry-" Marinette said, stepping back. "I didn't know anyone was up here, I can just-"

"It's fine." Short and to the point.

Marinette nodded, walking up to stand next to the bride. They stood in silence together, just watching the city. No akumas had come today, despite her fears of Adrien's fan club reacting badly to him getting married. (Chloe's akuma in reaction to the news was enough.) It was another perfect moment for the movie that was this wedding.

"Akane, right?"

"Kagami, actually." The moment the correction hit her ears, Marinette wanted to shrivel up. Fuck, hadn't that been the name on the invite? She was so dumb! "Although that might as well be my name for how much Adrien cares about me."

"Huh?"

"It's Marinette, correct?" Kagami said, no explanation for her statement.

"Uh, yeah." Marinette cleared her throat. "I'm glad I could finally meet you. We tried to schedule stuff, but-"

"But you guys had to cancel. I understand."

Huh. Wait. What? "What, no? Adrien and you cancelled. He kept texting Nino that his dad suddenly changed his mind or you guys had a really important event."

"No. We would leave to meet with you and then he would get a text saying that stuff had to be cancelled so I always went home." She expected anger or maybe relief. Instead, Kagami's face seemed to crumple. "I bet he was with her," she said. A tear rolled down her cheek and she reached up, looking startled.

With the whiplash of Adrien supposedly lying to Kagami and maybe, possibly, lying to Nino and them, Marinette could only ask "Who?"

"The girl he's in love with," Kagami admitted, voice thick with tears. More tears rolled down her cheeks and it was heartbreaking. "You know, I should've taken it as a hint that, right after our first date, he admitted he wasn't over this girl. I pushed past it, I thought I could-" A sob welled up and Kagami let it out. Marinette couldn't help it. She wrapped her arms around her, hoping she could provide some comfort. The other woman froze, just for a second, before arms wrapped stiffly around her. "I thought I could change his mind. I thought we were so perfect together."

"Perfection isn't a thing," Marinette admitted. "No matter how hard Gabriel tries to think it is."

"I should've left him after we got engaged and he admitted that I was just a placeholder for this other girl," Kagami said, sending a hot wave of rage through Marinette. "I saw him while we were preparing. He kept checking his phone..."

I'll check my messages if you have any last-minute objections, my lady.

Marinette shook her head. No. Adrien wasn't like that. Except, as it turned out, he was. She pushed away those thoughts to focus on Kagami. A ridiculous thought came up, except in the face of all this, it probably wasn't that ridiculous. "...it's not too late to walk away." Sure, it would probably hurt Adrien to have his wife annul their marriage the day of their wedding, but what about Kagami?

"It is," Kagami sounded so calm about this, even with the tears rolling down her face. "Tsurugis don't back down from anything."

"Tsurugis should also be respected and be in relationships that respect them." It was snarky but true.

There was a moment of silence. Marinette almost pulled away from how still Kagami suddenly seemed.

Then the other woman pulled away, a cold glint freezing her face over, even as her eyes were puffy and pink. Marinette almost apologized when she spoke. "I'll meet you downstairs in ten minutes," she said.

"...Okay."

Kagami smiled and nodded before walking through the door. Marinette, left on the roof, blinked and then pulled out her phone. In an old group chat, she left one message.

PinkFlower: Get the car ready the marriage's getting annulled.

By the time she arrived at the parking lot, Alya and Nino, plus Juleka, Rose, Alix, Mylene and Ivan, were waiting at Nino's van. "What the heck did you do, girl?!" she said. "Adrien's already married one day and you become a homewrecker?"

"Not on that side," Marinette corrected. She turned her head at what sounded like a furious shriek and the music from the back-up DJ screeching to a stop. In the next minute, the doors opened, revealing Kagami.

Marinette's guess was right. She did look good in red, especially in the jumpsuit she had changed into.

"What did you do?" Marinette asked, just a little frightened and a lot swooning. Alya gaped, glancing from her to Kagami. Alix and Juleka, based on the noises, were stifling laughter.

"I did what I should've done a long time ago," Kagami said, holding out her arm. Marinette, still a little bit flustered, took it. "I told my mother about Adrien and his other lady. She's contacting our family lawyer now."

Damn. If her mother was anything like Gabriel...

"I also looked up some restaurants nearby. There's one with very good orange juice, if you would like?" She leaned in close, as if worried that someone would overhear and take offense. "The catering was not my choice."

...the food hadn't been great.

"Yeah," Marinette said as Nino opened the door to his van. "Yeah, I would like that."

Kagami's smile was beautiful, perfect, and full of life.

[babydollmarauders]

PARIS — NICO HISCHIER

part of the Midnights Fic List

summary: in which y/n is so in love with Nico, that she doesn’t care about any of the gossip her friends tell her about her exes.

specific lyrics: “your ex-friend's sister met someone at a club and he kissed her. turns out it was that guy you hooked up with ages ago; some wannabe z-lister. and all the outfits were terrible. 2003 unbearable. did you see the photos? no, i didn't, but thanks, though.” and “i’m so in love that i might stop breathing.” and “privacy sign on the door, and on my page, and on the whole world. romance is not dead if you keep it just yours.” and “i wanna brainwash you, into loving me forever. i wanna transport you, to somewhere the culture's clever. confess my truth, in swooping, sloping, cursive letters.”

notes: this was originally a lot longer, but tumblr hates me and deleted over half of it. so if the second half is worse than the first, then i apologize; i was trying to rewrite from memory and i know there are some parts that i couldn’t remember for certain.

“did you hear that John got engaged?”

i peek up from my spot on the floor, glancing over to Ella who sits in the armchair across the room. Tara and Naomi are sat together on the couch, wide eyes and excited smiles.

“no.” i shake my head, my lips flattening in a straight line as i continue flipping through the magazine in my hands.

“yeah, he got engaged last week. but the kicker?” Naomi speaks this time, pausing for dramatic effect. “Ella heard from Carrie, who heard from the fiancée’s sister, that the girl is two months pregnant. it’s a shotgun wedding.”

“and she’s forty-one compared to his twenty-eight!” Tara pipes up. i glance up again, offering a furrowed brow and an uninterested nod. why were they telling me these things?

“cool. i mean, we’re adults, age doesn’t really matter anymore.” i shrug, and now it’s their turn to look at me like i’m crazy. our exes are usually our favorite topic for gossip, but that was before i met Nico eight months ago. now it’s typically been gossip about their exes. “besides, maybe they are getting married because she’s pregnant, but they could end up being really in love.”

“but- this is juicy?” Naomi says, her face scrunched in confusion. Ella and Tara nod along with her, clearly confused by my disinterest. i shrug once more, my focus falling back down to the magazine that rests in my lap now.

“John just isn’t part of my life anymore. i don’t really care what happens with him. i wish him the best in his marriage and fatherhood, though.”

“the best?” Ella balks, jaw hung open in surprise. “the man who cheated on you with three other women? you wish him the best?”

“i’m over it. did it hurt at the time? yeah. but, i’m happy now. if he hadn’t cheated on me, i wouldn’t’ve found my way to Nico, so it worked out in my favor.” i confess my feelings, and the girls all share a look, raising their brows in suspicion.

“that’s actually really mature of you, y/n/n. i’m proud of you.” Tara tells me, the other two nodding in agreement.

“what can i say? Nico’s been good for me.” i laugh, and they all giggle before returning to their own magazines.

**

“does it ever bother you that we’re not public?” Nico’s voice breaks me out of my trance. my hands, which were previously rubbing cleanser on my cheeks in circles, freeze and i look at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. he stands in the doorway, frowning down at his phone, leaning against the frame.

“no, why?” i ask. “does it bother you?”

“well, no. it was my idea.” he sighs, slipping his phone on the counter and making his way over to me, entangling his arms around my waist as i continue washing my face. “but, i don’t know. i just saw Shara’s post with Darya and i wondered if maybe it upsets you. i know girls like to be posted and admired, and i feel bad that i don’t do that.”

i finish washing the cleanser off my face, patting dry with a towel, before i twist around in his arms. placing my hands on his bare chest, i give him a soft smile.

“Neeks, i don’t need to be posted in order to feel admired. you make me feel that way every day just from your simple actions. i mean, just yesterday, you went for a run and came back with a bouquet of flowers. last week, you surprised me with a movie night and homemade pizza, when you could’ve very well spent that night sleeping early considering you were leaving the next day for a quick roadie.”

“but-” i press a finger against his lips, signaling for him to be quiet.

“i don’t need to be posted because i like our privacy. besides, the important people know. our friends, our family, they’re the only people we care about knowing, the entire world doesn’t have to know in order for our relationship to be real. if anything, i think it’s kept the romance alive because we’re living in the moment. we’re not taking our phones out to get pictures of our special moments; it’s just us enjoying our time together. i love you, and i know you love me. i don’t need us to be public in order to feel loved by you, because you make sure i’m aware of it every day.”

“ich liebe dich von ganzem Herzen.” he slots his lips between mine, soft and sweet, tasting like his mint toothpaste. we part, and i smile up at him.

“i only caught that first part, but i love you too. so much.” i step out of his grasp to walk back into his bedroom, glancing behind me to see him following me. slipping into bed, he copies me, turning his bedside light off and slinging an arm around my waist, pulling me into him so that we press against each other. my eyes fall closed, and i’m on the verge of sleep when i hear him mumble.

“ich möchte dich eines Tages heiraten.”

**

i’m spread across the couch at Naomi’s house this time, Ella sitting with my feet in her lap, Tara in one armchair, and Naomi in another.

Ella paints my toenails as Naomi and Tara gossip back and forth and i lay with my eyes closed, just listening.

“y/n.” i pry open my eyes to look over at Tara, humming inquisitively. “did you hear?”

“hear what?” i ask.

“your ex-friend, Gianna? her sister, Izzy, met someone at a club and he kissed her.” she tells me. my brows form a ‘v’ as i nod in understanding.

“okay?”

“turns out it was that guy you hooked up with ages ago; some wannabe z-lister.” Naomi chimes in. “remember him?”

“umm, vaguely, i think. Jake something or other. right?” i peek down at Ella, who stopped doing my toes in order to listen more intently.

“mhm!” Naomi hums before huffing out a harsh laugh. “and all the outfits were terrible.”

“like, 2003 unbearable.” Tara laughs. “did you see the photos?”

“no, i didn't, but thanks, though.” i tell her, shaking my head.

“do you wanna see them?” Naomi asks, tapping on her phone a couple times before i offering it to me.

“no, thanks.” i scrunch up my nose, shrugging.

“oh. okay…”

“i do!” Ella exclaims, swapping the nail polish in her hand for Naomi’s phone. “oh god!”

“it’s horrible! right?” Tara laughs, but i just frown, sitting up on the couch. “he’s wearing a camo thermal shirt under a polo! like dude!”

“guys, that’s mean.” i scold.

“it’s not mean, it’s the truth. if you saw the pictures, you would understand.” Ella giggles, offering me the phone once more. i push it away, shaking my head.

“i don’t care about what happens between Jake or Izzy.” i tell them. Ella shrugs, handing the phone back to Naomi and going back to painting my nails.

“you seriously don’t care?” Tara asks and i shake my head.

“not really. i’m at a good point in my life, Nico makes me really happy. i don’t care what my exes or almost exes are up to.” i admit. “i don’t mind all the other gossiping we do, i love gossip, but i really don’t care for hearing about my exes. it doesn’t affect me in any way, so why do i need to know about it? if they’re happy, then good for them.”

“who are you and what have you done with y/n?” Ella jokes, making us all giggle.

“i really love Nico. he makes me happy, which in turn, makes me content with what happened in the past. i don’t need to hear about the bad karma that’s hitting my exes, because i just don’t care about them anymore.” a soft smile spreads across my face at the thought of my boyfriend.

“i love Nico for you. this relationship is so healthy and i can tell how good he is for you.” Naomi tells me, her voice gentle and happy, a grin on her lips.

**

i stare down at the piece of card stock in my hands, tracing my cursive with my eyes.

‘kick ass tonight, captain!

p.s. i wanna love you forever

lovingly yours, y/n’

smiling in content, i tuck the note into one of Nico’s skates in his duffle bag for him to find later. a tradition i’ve come to look forward to, it started about two months into our relationship, when i slipped a note into the tupperware holding his pregame snack. when he got home after their win that night, he told me he looked at it during both intermissions. that was the night we said ‘i love you’ for the first time. so now before every home game, i write him a note and stick it somewhere in his things, in order for him to find it before the game, to give him a boost of confidence.

“darling, have you seen my keys?” Nico’s voice carries in from the living room, and i swipe his keys off the counter before padding to the entryway of the living room to find him digging in between the couch cushions.

“right here, love.” i smile, watching his head snap up and his sight lock on the car keys dangling from my fingers. he lets out a sigh of relief, making his way over to me.

“what would i do without you?” the question is rhetorical, but i can’t help but jokingly answer.

“walk.” i shrug. chuckling, he nabs the keys out of my hand whilst simultaneously planting a gentle kiss to my forehead.

“will you be here when i get back?” he asks, raising a hand to gingerly cup my jaw. i nuzzle deeper into his touch, nodding.

“of course.” i tell him before joking again- “i don’t have ESPN+, so i have to use yours on your tv to watch the game.”

he chuckles again, leaning down to press a quick but sweet kiss to my lips before bidding me goodbye. i wish him a good luck, watching as he leaves for his game.

**

“where’d it go?” i wonder aloud, scouring the bathroom countertop for my chapstick. Nico always puts it back after he borrows it, knowing it’s part of my nightly routine, but he must’ve forgotten today.

leaving the bathroom, i go back to his bedroom, scanning the top of his dresser for the lip product but coming up empty handed. i let out a deep sigh, moving on to his nightstand. not spotting it on the top, i open the drawer. but my brows furrow when i get the drawer ajar, only to find it empty other than a stack of cardstock. pulling one out, i flip it over in my hands, my eyes softening when i read the words swooped across the paper.

i pull out the stack, shuffling through them. my eyes prick with tears at the realization. my notes. i never knew what he did with them after the games, but i guess i assumed he just threw them away. but i was wrong, because they’re all here. all accounted for, dating back to the very first one. kept safe in his bedside drawer. tears slide down my cheeks, my heart pounding in my chest at the sweet gesture.

i place them all back in the drawer, swiping at my face to dry it, and giving up on my chapstick.

laid in bed, a book is gripped in my hands as i await Nico’s return after his big win. i perk up at the sound of the front door opening and shutting, placing my bookmark in and closing my book as Nico opens the bedroom door.

“hi, superstar!” i cheer, dropping my book onto the nightstand. a bashful grin spreads across his face as he drops his bag on the floor by the end of the bed. i shuffle on the bed, sitting up on my knees, facing the edge of the mattress. “two goals and an assist, and first star of the night. i’m so proud of you!”

“thank you, love.” he steps in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against him, chest to chest. “did you see what i did after them?”

heat rises to my face as i think back to what he did after both goals. the gesture that he told me long ago meant he was dedicating those goals to me; a quick tap to his lips.

“i did. thank you, baby.” wrapping my arms around his neck, i crane my own, settling a gentle kiss onto his lips. parting, he lays his forehead on mine.

“i want to love you forever.” he tells me, making me giggle.

“using my own words on me?” i question, switching to bury my head in his neck. his hand rubs up and down my back as we hug in silence for a moment.

“i think that may have been my favorite note so far.” he admits, whispering in my ear.

“yeah?” i pull back to look at his big brown eyes, my favorite color for the past eight months. he hums an agreement.

“i’m so in love with you. sometimes, it feels like i might stop breathing.”

“you are the best thing that’s ever happened in my life.” i confess. “i love you. so much.”

“is it too early to ask you to marry me?” he questions. a joke, i assume, and i let out an airy laugh.

“maybe a little bit.” i tell him. “but how about we compromise?”

“and just how do we compromise?” he asks.

“how would you feel about me moving in with you?” a wide grins spread across his face at my words, happily nodding.

“i would love that.”

-

[oletus-manors-log]

Hey! I just wanted to say I love your work and your recent Orpheus drabble was super good! I was wondering if you could do a short story about Orpheus confessing to the survivor!reader? (GN) I understand that short story’s might take longer then headcanons and dabbles, so please take as much time as you need! Thanks again 🫶

OBSERVER'S NOTE :

“ Hello, and thank you so much for the compliment for my recent work on Orpheus! As for the confession, I believe I can make it work with the headcannons I have listed in the past.

I'm not too sure if there's anything else you'd like for me to add with the story, so I decided to make it happen in a... Special match. Although it can be a terrible place to confess... Well, sometimes it can work out in your favor. ”

Golden Hour

The match, needless to say, was a mess.

Orpheus couldn't tell whether he regretted having to come in because he's up against himself (or, really, what he sees himself as), or the fact that he's seeing the slow descent of the match after the first 60 second chair.

As he saw the raven bird chase after the enchantress and with the journalist on her second chair, he stuck to decoding in wedding hall. The pallets were thrown in advance by him, so it would make things easier.

Since the progress wasn't done before he arrived, he had done quick work on decoding it. Although, he didn't seem to notice when someone else joined him during the halfway mark of the cipher, one cipher actually done and Alice rescued off of it.

"Seems like you're struggling over there, aren't you?"

He flinched and looked over towards the speaker, noticing that it was Alice. Ah, she was patched up— good, that means that someone rescued her.

"Perhaps," he said idly, focusing his attention on the cipher machine before it malfunctioned and electrocuted him. "But it isn't like miss Dorval is struggling against him. She's been kiting for us and you're on your last legs after being chaired twice."

Alice shakes her head as she turned the knobs of the machine.

"I'll be fine. I'll just have to stay out of sight for the time being— it can't be that hard, can't it?"

... Hm, she only has one film left, he noted, sparing a glance at the camera. She will have to make sure he doesn't catch her— her mirages of me when I was younger is... Quite a feat. It could keep him distracted if such a miracle can happen.

[ Beware! The hunter has changed target! ]

The two looked up as a crow flies over to their cipher. Orpheus shoves Alice off of it so it would fly over to the novelist, sprinting like a madman to the pallet to vault and start running out.

"Keep decoding!"

He ran straight to the church, feeling smoke permeate the air as it swirled and manifested behind him. The sound of a deafening thud echoed as Nightmare, their hunter of the match, appeared behind him, causing him to falter if not for the reminder that he would be killed if he stayed standing.

"I did not expect for you to take it instead of miss DeRoss, Orpheus," spoke the nightmarish entity as it chased him, footsteps thundering as the novelist sprinted to the window to vault. "Why? Are you trying to relive the feeling of a good chase from the past?"

Truly, he fits the name and title for himself— Nightmare, the novelist thought bitterly. It's almost like he was "invited" to haunt the poor novelist even in (metaphorically, of course) death.

"I believe we both know why. I don't wish for her to die in this match after you targeted her."

"Hm? But why not? It's quite... Amusing, is it not?" He scoffed, his gaze focused on him as the novelist continued to keep distance, making sure to break out of line of sight from the latter so he can't focus on him. "For her to take your place after she was grown, after you went missing—"

"I don't want to be reminded of that incident."

"Oh, I know that. But you'd know better than for me to let it go, would you?"

Ah, he should have known. Why the hell would he let it go, hm?

Instead of replying, he went through a pallet— this time, passing by someone he didn't expect.

SLAM!

"Go!"

He felt the wind push him as he turned to see a certain survivor stunning the looming hunter, attire ragged despite wearing it for God knows how long. He could only whisper a "good luck" as he sprinted to the window, vaulting over it before running off.

The only thing he could hear from outside of the church was the aggravated yell of Nightmare, followed by daring taunts that he could recognize all too well.

... You never change, do you? Ever the daredevil, he thought with a chuckle, this time sprinting to another cipher to decode.

Despite the mishaps from before, Orpheus could see that it proceeded as smoothly as it possibly could, considering the bird had his sights on you and not the novelist. Unfortunately for Nightmare, you were one of the few that never saw danger as one to be feared.

In the survivor faction, you were a force to be reckoned with; someone with such a job that can spell trouble to those whose never heard of it.

Your occupation was of a trickster, one assigned like the Acrobat and the Weeping Clown if it weren't for your malicious streak. Reckoned by many hunters as a "hunter in a survivor's body", you were called by many as a horseman of chaos, bringing about destruction in your wake.

So far, only few had managed to keep you down, but even the novelist knew you would find a way to make them regret their misdeeds.

Truthfully. Orpheus feared you. Unlike him, you saw danger akin to a pet, and not once did he understood what makes you tick. But perhaps, much like your occupation, you live your life in constant terror.

The way your eyes gleam as you evade Nightmare's attacks was one of such cases, and he couldn't help but fathom on how you look so... Alive.

... So free.

Alas, it had been the last cipher and he had it primed. Nightmare had already chaired you once, but by some miracle, Alice had got you out of the chair and you were kiting the man like your life depended on it. And, well, it did— you were keeping Alice from being chaired the third time as both of you were injured.

But it didn't last long when he saw the crow fly over to his cipher, and he could hear the ping from you and Alice that he's switching targets.

Back to me, I suppose.

Pulling away from the cipher, he pinged that it was primed and started sprinting, hearing the wind pull itself and manifest the living terror in his waking life. To him, he saw the man as one of monstrosity, whereas most cannot see it that way. It terrified him that only a few, such as him, can see the raven for what he is.

Swiftly getting hit with the sharp tip, he stumbled from the window he was about to vault, causing yet another deep gash to form on his back. He gritted in pain as he felt blood seep through and taint his white coat, coating it in crimson.

—And then, the two could hear the deafening pop.

Thus, the sirens follow, and mark the 'endgame' of their match.

With the sudden boost of adrenaline, he sped off, his legs screaming as he heard Nightmare's ghoulish calls. Still, he paid no heed as he looked back, constantly pinging the rest of his team of Nightmare's ventures.

Detention... A trait that no man or monster understood. Miss Nightingale briefed everyone on it when they first came here, and he still recall what she told to their group.

Detention is a trait that every hunter possesses— a trait that, when activated, causes the hunter to give into the carnal desires to kill any survivor in its wake.

No one understood how to counter it. If anything, all they can do was run. Run until they were sure that it was safe.

For those who do not will be slaughtered in its wake.

Reaching the open gates, he could hear your calls as you yelled for him to get out— that you would cover for him.

His eyes widened at this. At the state of Nightmare and with Detention of all things, the last thing he'd want is for you to be slaughtered instead of him.

He cannot have that. He won't have that. Over his dead corpse.

"No!" he yelled, yanking your wrist when you went back to bodyblock for him, pulling you forward with such strength that many do not think he would have the capability to posses. "Go! Get out, now!"

With one last curse to have Nightmare go through such pain, you and the others got out, leaving the deserted church and the cries of Nightmare in the wake of a survivor's win.

After the stressful match, he had to go to Emily as he was still injured from Nightmare. Despite the adrenaline for when the last cipher was popped, he felt the fatigue crash on him hard after they had left, and he didn't want to deal with Emily getting (justifiably) upset at his own recklessness.

Although, there was another reason on why he had to go to Emily. It was for something else... Something that he wanted to speak to her about. Alone.

"... I see," Emily murmured, currently patching up Orpheus's back with a few stitches. Checking for other injuries, she sighed, facing the novelist with a knowing look in her eye.

"I don't wish to undermine your efforts, Orpheus, but they're... Well, they live up to their occupation. Are you sure you'd want to look for them? Even I'm not sure on where they have went off to this time."

Orpheus chuckled, giving her a smile as he answered, "I'm sure. I believe I know my limits, miss Dyer. After all, I have dealt with them the longest, have I not?"

You were... A mystery to him. Something that needed to be solved. Despite how long you and him were, in the lack of terms, friends... He never really knew the answer for his question since he's known you.

Just what it is that makes you so interesting to him?

"I suppose you'd be right on that," Emily replied, shaking her head as she wrapped the bandages around his waist. "Well, I believe they went to Moonlit River Park. I tried to ask why, but all they said was that they have a show to prepare and didn't want to be late."

Tying it off right afterwards, she dug through her pockets and handed Orpheus a note. The paper was yellow and worn, but he could recognize the handwriting peeking out... Couple with a few scribbles. You were always fond of drawing in your notes, he noticed.

"Here," she said, smiling exasperatedly. "They also wanted me to give you this. Now, don't strain yourself too much, okay?"

With a nod, the brunette took the note and bid his goodbyes to the doctor, leaving the clinic. He walked down the hall, opening the note that she gave him to see what you wrote for him.

In the note, it reads...

Hello, hello, mister novelist! Surprised to get a note from yours truly, are you? ☆

Now, now... I know you must be wondering where I went! And you know me well by now, Orpheus— I am not one to give such a straight answer. Why, if I am, I'd certainly lose the title of being a 'trickster', wouldn't I?

Anyway, I'd like to play a... Game with you. How does hide and seek sound? It'd be like those we play in matches. Ah, but with less killing, of course.

I want you to find me. The doctor already told me where I am, so I implore you, Orpheus—

"—find me, and find the piece I seek."

... A peculiar note indeed.

Now, he was no detective. Unlike Alice, he never dabbled quite well into detective work; he used to do that if he needed first hand experience on writing a thriller book. However, with the manor hosting various events that does consist of solving mysteries...

Well. He cannot say that he didn't have experience on dealing with them in his downtime.

Checking the back of the note, he raised an eyebrow at the sight of the note. From an unobservant eye, they'd chalk it off as something normal. But to him, he knew you enough to have something hidden in an ordinary object.

Raising up the note against the light, he hummed at the sight, reading the note more clearly.

Big tent.

...

How cheeky.

Rolling his eyes out of amusement, he lowered the note and trudged on to Moonlit River Park. This time... He has a date, and he isn't going to be late.

Arriving at the big tent of Moonlit River Park, he can see the sight of the thrown pallets around and some abandoned attractions on stage. The basement was sealed, so he assumed that it would be open on the two story building.

What was it? Hullabaloo? He should to check the name again when he sees it.

Walking on the stairs of the stage, he inspected the entire tent, noticing the sight of a note plastered on the wall. It was the same as the letter he retrieved from Emily, so he had no hesitation to take it.

Checking the front of the note, he red through what you wrote this time.

If you found this note, then I was right to put my faith in you, Orpheus. You know my tricks enough to figure out where my note was lying about, huh? Maybe I should up the ante of this game of ours...

Haha! I'm kidding, of course. Why would I? It'd be terrible if your 2nd hint is in a place you can't find so easily.

Anyway, to find where it is, the answer is what you're reading. If you're confused or, mayhaps, lost... Read it again. You'll see what I mean.

... See? What in the world...

His brows furrowed as he red through the note again. There was something in those words, and if he can take your statement for what it is...

...

Rereading through it again, he can see a pattern. From your writing, it was hard to tell, but there were letters that are emphasized more than others.

... I'm at 2nd stop. Hah, how cheeky of you.

Tucking the note away, he left the stage and raised one of the flaps, running out of it. The faint chime of the circus music echoed around the map, haunting yet nostalgic for those that have witnessed its glory. For Orpheus, though, that brought some... Awful memories of his losses there.

... Ah, he can't be reminiscing now. He needn't remember what happened in one of his visits here.

Reaching the other side of the large map, he could see a bird perched up on the rails, perking up to see the novelist arriving by the stairs. With a chirp, the blue bird flew to him, its claws carrying another letter.

Whispering a 'thanks' to the bird, he watched it fly off before opening the third letter in his hands.

Moonlit River Park is a beautiful place, isn't it? Regardless of what many may think, the circus holds a special place in my heart. Such a shame that the tragedy has ruined it for what it's worth...

... Such is beauty, I suppose. The manor holds such unique yet curious people, just like you.

Where am I going with this? Hm, good question. I wish I have the answer to that, but I'm not sure if I have one. After all, I lack the voice to speak of such a thing, or to answer your inquiries.

Now, if you wish to look for where I really am, you'd know where to find me this time.

Why, I can see you now, little novelist. Look over to your left.

Look ove—

"Boo."

Orpheus could feel his heart give out for a moment, his head whipping to see you peering over him with a cheeky grin. Seeing the look of fear in his face, you couldn't help but laugh, your voice ringing in the air of the abandoned park.

"Ahaha! You should've seen the look on your face, Orphy," you said, amusement ringing in your voice. Jabbing him lightly, you snickered, "Perhaps I should subject you more to such simple mysteries. I'm surprised you manage to get through them!"

Orpheus scoffed. Despite your streak, he swore that you were but a child to someone like him.

"Hmph, and you should know that I have a weak heart. Not everyone can keep a straight face when they're snuck up from behind."

"Yes, yes," you drawled, patting his shoulder. "I suppose that's true. I'll spare you the... Worse I can bring, then."

... Just for me? How kind, he thought, but he didn't voice that out to you in fear of being seen as ungrateful.

"That aside, do you need me for something, [Name]?" he asked, finally facing you, raising an eyebrow at your demeanor. "Forgive me for saying this, but you never reach out to me first other than to cause mischief."

"Oh! Right, about that..."

You paused, your head turning slightly to the side. With a sheepish laugh, you continued, "I just... Wanted to bring you here. I remember you telling me that you never got to see the park when it wasn't used for matches— well, not without Memory, but that's understandable— so-"

Ah... So that's why.

...

Despite your behavior, you have a kind heart.

That is one thing he cannot deny that he liked about you. You may have a sadistic streak, but your kindness will always shine through it.

"... And I thought of getting Antonio as well, because he was planning to perform, and—"

"[Name]," he said, cutting you off. You perked up at him, humming to let him know you were listening. Orpheus couldn't help but let a chuckle slip, giving you a smile that was different from his usual poker face.

This one was more of sincerity— an emotion rarely seen of the novelist.

"Thank you," he continued, his eyes closing for a bit as he let out a soft laugh. "But please, you don't need to do this much for me. If anything, just being here with you is enough."

Before he can stop himself, he reached out to grab your hand, fingers interlocking with yours.

"... If I'm being honest, I am not a man seeking of such lavish and desire simplicity. However, since meeting you, you showed me just how adding a bit of uniqueness and extravagance can make things more memorable."

He could see your eyes widen at his confession, but he continued, as if he didn't wish to stop.

"Truly, I must blame you for claiming my heart as your own— you do it so effortlessly, it feels more like you've know how to weave me into your tales. However, as unfortunate for some, I don't think I'll be able to blame you for stealing it."

Tightening his grip, he reached out and grasped your cheek— watching as you relaxed on his hold.

"Not when I'm about to do a crime of my own, little trickster."

Under the guise of the sundown, the rays begin to emit such a glow that can make things more enchanting to the observant eye.

And a kiss was sealed, the untold confession of the novelist marked in the midst of golden hour.

© ᴏʟᴇᴛᴜs-ᴍᴀɴᴏʀs-ʟᴏɢ | 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟹 ✧ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛs ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴅ, ʙᴜᴛ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀʀᴇ | ᴀʀᴛ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢs ᴛᴏ ʀɪɢʜᴛғᴜʟ ᴏᴡɴᴇʀs

[roseofdarknessblog]

New beginnings (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

My entry into the Harvest Moon Collab is finally here! Hope you’ll like what I came up with @postwarlevi. The last time I posted a fic was sometime in July and since then I had the worst writer's block ever. So getting this done felt more than amazing, even though it was pretty challenging.

Word count: 1 980

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes

Summary: You and Levi become the new owners of a property that looks like straight out of the most magical autumn dream… or nightmare?

New beginnings

„So... this is all ours now, right?“ Levi asked when the two of you walked out onto the biggest balcony of your new home. A charming and magical-looking Victorian house in the countryside, which was now yours. The mid-October afternoon was a little cold due to the wind, which was rustling the colorful leaves on all of the trees around the house. All around the house, there were smaller or larger hills, almost perfectly colored in all the most beautiful shades of autumn. „Everything.“

You nodded and held onto his hand a bit tighter, gently running one of your fingers over his gold wedding band. It was truly unbelievable. This place was near and dear to your heart since childhood, but actually owning it felt surreal. You didn’t expect it for another couple of years. However, your grandparent decided to live out their retirement off the land – literally. Only a month ago, they left for a luxurious cruise around the world.

A few days before that, they called you and Levi here and handed you the official papers which made the two of you the new owners of this place. And the reality of that still hasn’t sunk in.

„Everything you see,“ you said in a quiet voice and rested your head against Levi’s.

„What the hell are we going to do with such a huge house?“

„You’ll have fun cleaning it,“ you laughed and kissed his cheek. „And who knows, maybe it won’t be this empty for long.“

Levi furrowed his brows and looked at you. „Something you want to tell me?“

„No, no, no. I’m not pregnant, yet,“ you reassured him with a playful laugh and gently pulled him in the direction of the old stone stairs.

The house was almost a hundred years old but in exceptionally good shape. No major renovations were needed, at least not right away. The roof was almost brand new and the three-story building with stone walls seemed as if it was built not more than maybe a decade ago. Every inch of this place breathed with history – the tall arch-top windows, stone balconies, and stairs, or a little tower that was home to your grandfather’s personal library.

„I’m not sure about this whole place,“ Levi said as the two of you, hand in hand, made your way through the backyard with a huge marble fountain.

When you went up to the fence and looked down into the valley, you could see the town’s graveyard spreading out there in a thin layer of fog. It looked just as mysterious as you remembered it. When you were little, it scared the living hell out of you all the time. And even now you could feel shivers run down your back when you glanced in that direction.

„We just have to get used to it,“ you said finally and looked away, forcing yourself to focus on different, much better things. „We’ll do something about the house, decorate it a little to our liking. It’s up to us to make this place feel like home.“

„Can you even make such a huge place feel warm and cozy?“ Levi asked skeptically, looking back to the house over his shoulder.

Coming to live here meant a couple of things – both of you had to quit your current jobs in the city. None of you were willing to drive for almost three hours there and three hours back every single day. Many big changes were happening in your lives but it seemed that everything was turning out more than well. You happened to find a perfect place in the nearby town where Levi was planning to open his tea shop. It has been his dream for as long as you could remember and now it was finally about to come true.

„We don’t need to rush anything, darling. We’ll move in properly and slowly start changing things we don’t like the way they are now,“ you assured him, leading the way to the big open space behind the house and the garden.

This was your favorite thing about the whole property – the apple orchard, pumpkin patch, and fruit and vegetable garden. When you were little, many hours of every day were spent here. With your grandparents or even alone, just walking around, reading a book, or drawing something in one of your notebooks.

„I used to spend so much time here and I’m excited to have that back. To come here whenever I want and just relax,“ you said dreamily.

„We’ll have a ton of work with the tea shop opening, having a quiet place to recharge is important.“ He leaned over and kissed your temple, squeezing your hand a little tighter. „I already started thinking about a couple of things. But there’s just so much more to do. It’s a bit scary, isn’t it?“

You nodded and opened a little white wooden gate that finally let you enter the apple orchard in front of the property. The pumpkin patch was on the left behind it, and the vegetable and fruit garden was on the right.

„It is but not fulfilling your dreams is even more scarier. And don’t forget that you’re not alone,“ you reminded him and brushed your thumb over his knuckles.

As you were about to say something else a quiet rustling in a tall pile of leaves was heard to your right. When you and Levi looked over there a black cat lazily snuck out and stretched its back. You both stopped and waited for what the cat would do next, not wanting to scare it away.

„You always wanted a black cat,“ Levi said in a quiet voice and let go of your hand. You watched him crouch down and get closer to the cat. „Maybe it will stick around here.“

You nodded with a smile and got a little closer as well. „You wouldn’t let it inside the house.“

Levi shrugged with a tiny smirk. And you knew that something like this could mean absolutely anything. From truly not letting any pets into the house, to having a ton of them over time. It was better to let it unfold naturally and not force anything on him.

While Levi reached out his hand and petted the cat’s head gently, you looked around with a smile on your lips. This place felt like home your entire life. And now it was truly yours. All the apple trees you could see were now yours, all the varieties your grandmother planted many years ago – Red Delicious, Gala, Fuji, Granny Smith, Golden Delicious, Cripps Pink, Honeycrisp, Braeburn, Empire and a couple more. These apple orchards made your grandparents a nice amount of money every single year. Their delicious taste charmed everyone who tried them.

„You okay?“ Levi asked after a moment, still scratching the cat’s head.

„Yeah,“ you smiled at him and stood up once again.

Levi followed your lead and grabbed your hand again, both of you heading down the orchard in the direction of the pumpkin patch. The little black cat decided to join you, walking alongside Levi with its head held high.

You told Levi about all the different kinds of apples, while the chilly wind was rustling the leaves of all the apple trees around you. The sun was hanging low on the sky and ready to dive under the horizon, drowning your surroundings in warm gold and orange hues. The air was getting noticeably colder by the minute.

„How many kinds of pumpkins are there?“ Levi asked while the two of you walked among them, your new cat friend following behind.

„Ten or twelve, I’m not so sure right now. There were almost twenty when I was little and grandma was younger. She loved having as many varieties of everything as possible.“

Ambercup Squash, Autumn Gold Pumpkins, Baby Boo Pumpkins, Blue Prince Pumpkins, Carnival Squash, Jack-O-Lantern Pumpkins, Hokkaido pumpkins and a couple more as well. Just like with the apples, your grandmother wanted to have as many pumpkins as possible – orange, white, green, yellow, or even slightly red. For her own satisfaction and also for another source of income. Not that your grandfather didn’t make more than enough money or had a pretty huge heritage. Your grandmother simply always liked doing her own little things that made her happy – if it provided money, it made her even happier, as she used to say.

„I should send grandma a couple of photos. She always liked how the orchards and the whole place looked during autumn. All those pretty colors, cozy atmosphere, and everything.“

„Good thing that they keep up with the modern world and know how to use all the electronics,“ Levi said, his eyes scanning the pumpkin patch and all the different pumpkins. „It feels so different here now.“

„What do you mean?“

„When we were here in the past it was...“ he shrugged and looked back at you, trying to find the right words. „It felt like a nice little trip. An escape from our shitty work like in the city. Now it feels kind of homey and it gives off that feeling of responsibility.“

„Yeah, now it will be up to us to keep this place looking like this.“

Hand in hand and with the black cat in tow, you took a quick look at the vegetables and fruits and then decided to make your way back to the house. The very last rays of sunshine illuminated your way, bathing the property and the house in the most beautiful color of gold.

The crips evening air made you shiver slightly. „Autumn finally came in all its glory, the evenings, nights, and mornings are really getting harsh and cold,“ you said as Levi wrapped one of his arms around your shoulders.

„And you still love it.“

„I do, this is my favorite season for many reasons, just look around us.“

You both did. Taking in all the different shades of yellow, orange, red, green, and brown was a perfect way to end this long and tiring day. All the trees and bushes were rustling in the wind, making it seem as if you weren’t alone.

„What about the cat?“ you asked, looking at your new four-pawed friend who was still walking beside Levi. „We can’t leave it outside, the night will be cold.“

Levi rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything. Only leaned closer and met your lips in a sweet long kiss full of the purest love one can imagine. „You always know how to get your way, don’t you?“ With a tiny smile, his lips gently pressed to your temple, while he brushed the tip of his nose over your cheek, making you close your eyes for a second and sigh contently. You loved this man more than words would ever be able to describe. He truly was your everything – your past, present, and future.

His arm stayed around your shoulders while you made your way across the garden. You turned your head at the last possible moment and took a quick glance at the graveyard. Now, a much thicker fog was covering it almost perfectly. If you didn’t know it was there, you wouldn’t really know what you were looking at. Only a couple of gravestones were sticking out from the milky white fog, making the whole scene seem eerie and chilling.

„Stop looking, you’ll see something you’ll regret,“ Levi said, his hand traveling up to the back of your head and turning it away from the graveyard.

„So you do believe in ghosts?“ you joked and shoved him into the ribs playfully.

When Levi didn’t answer, you risked one last look over your shoulder before you went up the stairs. It only took a glimpse of a second – a figure stepping out from the fog amongst the gravestones and lifting its hand, waving at you.

[that-1d-blogger]

This is part two ,

Part 1 is here

-------------------

The reception was an absolutely gorgeous affair, twinkling strings of fairy lights and lush floral arrangements transforming the luxurious ballroom into something straight out of a fairy tale. As Liam and I made our grand entrance, I couldn't keep the ridiculously wide smile from stretching across my face. We were finally married - husband and wife, partners for life.

The opening notes of the song we had carefully selected for our first dance soon filtered through the speakers. Liam guided me out to the middle of the dance floor, pulling me flush against him as we began to sway to the tender melody, other guests cleared the path for us to dance, looking and cheering from a distance

"Hi wife," he murmured against my hairline, making me shiver pleasantly.

"Hi husband," I replied, feeling deliriously giddy. "Did you actually think we'd make it to this day a few years ago?"

"Not a chance," Liam chuckled ruefully. "When you sat down across from me at that cafe, I was so convinced you were out of my league that I almost bolted then and there."

Pulling back slightly, I fixed him with an incredulous look. "You're joking! That bold and fearless?"

"Fearless isn't the word I would've used back then, love," he said wryly. "More like terrified and self-loathing as all hell. If you hadn't practically hit me over the head with your interest, I probably would've kept on wallowing and never seen what was right in front of me."

A lump rose in my throat as I studied his dear face, chin trembling slightly. Damn these newlywed hormone surges already making me weepy! Liam seemed to sense the shift in my emotions, cupping my cheek tenderly with a concerned furrow in his brow.

"Hey now, it's our wedding day," he murmured. "No tears, yeah? Just focus on me - your hopelessly besotted husband who somehow managed to land an incredible woman like you."

"God, I love you," I murmured fervently, surging up to kiss him hard. A chorus of cheers and playful catcalls erupted around us as our family and friends clocked what was happening.

"Get a room, you two!" Louis' distinctive rasp sounded from the direction of the head table where he, Zayn, Harry and Niall all sat nursing tumblers of amber liquid.

"Give it a rest, Tommo - like you're one to talk about public displays," Liam shot back with a laugh, not taking his eyes off me. Our foreheads pressed together as we continued swaying slowly to the music, the rest of the reception fading away until it was just the two of us.

By the time the song ended and a new, upbeat jam with thumping bass came on, we were both breathless from snogging like a couple of teenagers. A sudden cacophony of hoots and hollering made me jump, whirling around to see our entire rowdy wedding party had flooded the dance floor around us.

Louis and Niall both had their dress shirts completely unbuttoned and ties hanging loosely, sleeves rolled up as they shuffled along uncoordinatedly to the music. Harry and Zayn appeared to have gotten ahold of some Vodka from the bar, sloshing it precariously with each lurching movement. Clearly the party had well and truly started!

Before I knew what was happening, a pair of hands seized me around the waist from behind, swinging me in a circle as raucous laughter sounded in my ear. I let out a rather undignified shriek, dissolving into helpless giggles when I recognized the culprit.

"Louis! You bonker, put me down!"

"Come and dance with your old mate Tommo, love!" he crowed gleefully, beginning to shuffle us both ridiculously to the music. Liam threw his head back with laughter at the image, windmilling his long arms as Niall attempted to twirl him with the same lack of coordination.

"I've got the bride, Tommo! You're stealing my thunder!" the Irishman hollered over the pumping bassline, flushed and sweaty from his gyrating antics.

Before things could descend into total chaos, Zayn smoothly cut in, whisking me away from Louis with a roguish wink.

"May I have this dance, oh wife of my esteemed brother?" he asked with exaggerated formality, expertly spinning us into the rhythm of the song. "Lads are being proper knobs tonight, I reckon we oughta represent a bit of class."

"Oi, I resemble that remark!" Louis squawked indignantly, throwing an arm around my shoulders and attaching himself to our dance like an overgrown limpet. Harry chose that moment to rejoin our bizarre conga line, wrapping himself around Zayn from behind with a mischievous grin.

The dance floor promptly devolved into absolute riotous pandemonium. With the five of us acting like a troupe of drunken circus performers, it wasn't long before others joined in the revelry. At one point, I spun away from our strange clump only to find myself sandwiched between two other couples from the wedding party who both assumed I was with them. I couldn't even keep track of Liam amidst the sea of writhing, laughing bodies.

Song after song blurred together, an infectious electricity coursing through the room that sent any sense of propriety out the window. My hair came fully down from its elaborate style, tendrils sticking to my sweat-slicked temples. I must have shucked my heels hours ago, bounding around the floor in my bare feet with little regard for my very expensive dress.

Just when I thought the energy couldn't possibly ramp up any further, the unmistakable opening beats of "Macarena" pumped through the speakers. An absolutely feral gleam lit up in Louis' eyes as he swung towards me with a borderline manic grin.

"YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, LOVE!" he hollered, grabbing my hands and forcing them into the opening position for the iconic dance. I doubled over laughing as Niall, Harry and Zayn all flocked around us, throwing their limbs haphazardly in an attempt to replicate the moves. Liam completely off sync with them and just thrusting his hips instead.

Within seconds, it seemed like the entire reception had joined in on our ridiculous Macarena circle. I could scarcely breathe I was cackling so hard watching all these posh wedding guests throwing their bodies around shamelessly to the cheesy 90s beat. Even some of the elderly grandmothers in attendance were gamely following along, adding their own flair with terrible dad dancing.

At one point Niall, clearly having imbibed past the point of no return, toppled off-rhythm and crashed directly into me in a tangle of flailing limbs and flying alcohol. I only just managed to shove him off when my best friend Salem came barreling in to my defense, squaring up to Niall with blazing eyes.

"Get your clumsy arse off my girl, Barney!" she snarled, using the derogatory nickname for the Irishman she'd bestowed on him ages ago. Niall just blinked up at her owlishly before letting out a booming laugh, collapsing back onto the ground in a useless heap.

"Easy there, tiger! No need to knock my sparkling personality down a few more pegs!"

Salem snorted indelicately but allowed Louis and Harry to haul Niall's drunken arse back to his feet, his inhibitions clearly being a thing of the past. A few beats later and they had abandoned any efforts at real choreography, dissolving into sheer unbridled flailing to the chorus.

At least I wasn't the only one losing my marbles, I noted with a relieved giggle. My entire bridal party seemed to have been seized by the same temporary insanity, shedding all decorum in favor of nostalgic dad dance pandemonium. Even straight-laced Zayn was shimmying his shoulders outrageously in time with the music, grinning that lazy, infectious smile of his.

We danced, hollered and carried on through the entire 90s kick, drunkenly sloshing our way through everything from the Spice Girls' "Wannabe" to the unforgettable "Bye Bye Bye" by NSYNC.

At some point I acquired Harry's gaudy paisley print blazer and began wearing it as an inexplicable accessory. Louis seemed intent on stripping down to his pants but Salem and I managed to wrestle him back into his dress shirt, much to his raucous protests.

I laughed as I saw Liam twirling Niall around, and Harry taking off his blue blazer and twerking with his shirt half open , Zayn watching him in amusement and Louis -

"BUT I'M SO FIT THOUGH! LET ME SHOW THE LADS!" he hollered, wrapping those skinny arms around my neck from behind in a sloppy, sweaty headlock. Harry, ever the wind-up merchant, began egging him on by baring his own tattooed torso with a devilish cackle.

"You're right, Tommo - why hold back our masculine prowess on such a special night?"

"You're both disgusting," Zayn's gruff tones cut across the commotion, though his eyes danced with barely contained mirth. "Learn to control yourselves for once before you traumatize the entire wedding party."

A sudden wicked gleam sparked in Louis' eyes as he untangled himself from me, stalking towards Zayn with a predatory grin. In a shockingly swift move, he grabbed the front of Zayn's crisp white dress shirt and whipped it open, sending a spray of tiny pearl buttons ricocheting in every direction amid raucous cheers from the surrounding guests.

"THERE'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF, Z!" he hollered gleefully, seizing Zayn's flailing wrists before the darker man's modesty prompted him to cover up. "Ladies love the sexy lumberjack look!"

"Louis William Tomlinson, I swear on all that is HOLY-" Zayn's outraged bellow was swallowed up by the fresh wave of hysterical laughter that overtook everyone at the sight that ensued.

Whether egged on by the booze, the late hour or just the infectious euphoria of the day, Zayn seemed to decide that resistance was futile. Letting out a resigned groan, he allowed Louis to strip off his dress shirt completely, turning a few cursory circles with his gloriously tanned, tattoo-splashed torso on full display. The catcalls and awwws reached deafening levels as Zayn lifted those impressive arms over his head and danced slowly, almost prowlingly, the image of carnal grace.

He was definitely a vision to behold, all sinewy ropes of lean muscle and golden skin glistening under the soft lights. But then again, the entire night was quickly devolving into a glorious male revue regardless of his antics. Liam moved with an almost leonine sensuality despite his drunkenness, all rippling abs and biceps that strained against the thin fabric of his undershirt. Harry and Louis were all limbs and unbridled charisma as they flailed away, chests bare and shirts hanging open at this point.

Before I could even register what was happening, Salem was marching towards the center of the group with a wicked grin while shedding layers. I watched with wide, bemused eyes as my bold, brilliant friend began an impromptu lap dance on Niall right there in the middle of our bloody wedding reception. The roar of utter pandemonium was absolutely deafening as she rolled her hips over the gobsmacked Irishman, tawny limbs sleek and sinuous.

"Ohhhhh she's FILTHY!" Liam let out a shocked bellow of laughter, slinging an arm around my waist to steady himself. I could only gape incredulously as Salem continued putting on an absolute clinic for her captive audience, Niall's blissed-out expression speaking volumes.

The final straw broke when one of the bridesmaids grabbed a server's tray and began spinning it suggestively over her head like a makeshift stripper pole, drawing a fresh torrent of cheers and lewd gestures from the lads. That was apparently the breaking point for decorum - soon everyone was shimmying and shaking and grinding in an all-out bacchanalia that would make the most seasoned revue dancer blush.

I had tears streaming down my cheeks from laughing so hard at the unrepentant mayhem. Unable to take any more, I finally just allowed myself to collapse in a boneless heap on the floor, stomach aching from hysterics. The action didn't go unnoticed, and soon Louis and Niall had draped themselves over me like a pair of drunken dressing gowns while Harry twerked shamelessly above me in nothing but his obscenely tight pants.

"Oi oi, you lot having a party over here then?" he rumbled in that sinful rasp, dappled chest glistening and dimples cutting deep into those ludicrously chiseled cheeks. "Mind if I join?"

With that he promptly flung his whole, gloriously nude upper body onto the unholy pile of drunken limbs currently enveloping me, sending Sabrina into screaming hysterics all over again. At some point even Liam and Zayn succumbed, collapsing into one spent, breathless heap and dissolving into yet another fit of delirious giggles at the absolute debauchery surrounding us.

Louis had discarded most of his clothes entirely and somehow procured a comFedora which he wore at an obnoxious angle, leading a very uncoordinated conga line around the perimeter of the floor.

And poor Zayn, usually the quieter and more restrained of the group, looked to have reached his limit as the lads' antics became exponentially more zany. I watched in silent bemusement as he reached across the table, grabbed Liam by the lapels, and simply shouted "SAVE ME MATE, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" before promptly passing out in a heap on the floor right there. Trust Liam's boys to bring that perfect blend of chaos, ridiculousness and wholehearted love to the most special day of our lives!

Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, the shindig began to wind down. I stumbled over to where Liam was slumped in a chair, utterly depleted yet grinning like a lunatic, and unceremoniously draped myself across his lap with my head lolling against his shoulder. He let out a breathless laugh, nuzzling against my sweat-dampened hairline.

"What a night, eh Mrs. Payne?" he murmured, pressing a kiss to my temple. "Not sure whether to be mortified or just roll with it when it comes to your new brothers."

I lifted my head to meet his sparkling gaze, feeling deliriously overwhelmed with love and gratitude for this beautiful, mad family of ours.

"Roll with it, definitely," I replied firmly. "We wouldn't have had it any other way."

Mainblog

[luminouslywriting]

I'm sorry to crowd your inbox; I know you get a lot of anons! That said, here I am and I wanted to ask if you could expand on the disagreements about religion and whether/when to have kids (re: Brady headcanons). Not so much the sex part but the actual disagreements, because I just love the idea of an honest, communicative king having those conversations! If you have time, of course!

Nonny, I am so glad that you brought this up! I'm always happy and down to talk about the spice and the sex, but talking about communication?? THAT'S MY JAM!! So this made me really excited to expand upon! Hopefully this is what you were looking for :) And please, keep sending me requests and thoughts! I love it!

So the three fights: Religion and God OR it's about whether or not to have kids/if the timing is right for that OR to move for work

-As stated previously, if it's a serious fight...he's not the type to just have sex as a form of coping or to get you to listen or for him to think through things

-In these particular instances, it takes working through the problem and actually talking with one another (maybe over the span of several days, weeks, or even months) for things to feel healed enough for that

Religion and God

-If a fight arises over this, I could see it happening for a few different reasons at different points in the marriage.

-For instance, if you and he have differing religious beliefs, it might cause some tension in the marriage—like whether or not to have a church wedding with his church vs. yours.

-Or if you straight up don't believe in God, I think that's going to be a point for you two to come together on and work on how to move forward while respecting one another's beliefs

-Another reason might be infertility or having a miscarriage and blaming God in that

-Whatever the case, John Brady is a religious man BUT he is also very devoted to you

-And I think that the golden rule that he abides by is that he's going to put you and the marriage first, God second, and then whatever else happens is going to work itself out

-He's going to do a lot of soul searching and praying so that he has the clarity and focus to be able to know how to approach the conversation with you

-It's probably going to be a tearful conversation and one that has him seriously questioning how he can reconcile his devotion to you with his firm belief in God

-And if the answer is going to your church and then his—or if the answer is the both of you giving each other space when it comes to God and being cool with giving your future children options, then that'll work—or if the answer is to just continue to show your love to each other and try to work things out on your own time and pacing, then he's comfortable with that too

2. Whether or not to have kids

-I think that a lot of this is dependent on you, sweet reader

-We know that John Brady would make a great dad and that he wants children

-But he also wants to put you first and your health first

-So if the argument is over health concerns—as in, you want kids and it's a little dangerous—then he'd scrap the entire idea because the two of you can always adopt. You're the love of his life and he wants to have you in his life for the rest of his life. No danger or risks to you are necessary in his mind.

-But if the argument is over him wanting kids and you NOT wanting kids, then that's a little bit more of a sensitive subject

-I think this is a fight that keeps him pretty emotional because as your husband, he adores you and worships the ground you walk on—but marriage is a partnership

-This one would have to end in some sort of agreement between the two of you that respects both his wants and dreams, as well as yours

-He also might try to whittle away at said argument with various nieces and nephews, talking about you pregnant, and maybe employs a few seduction techniques to his advantage

-If the argument is simply the timing of it all, then he's going to take a step back and work on being patient—alternatively, he's going to try to encourage you to be patient with things

-If it's an infertility based argument, then he's going to bring up as many alternatives to you as he can think of. After all, your health and your mental health/emotional health come first to him and he wants you to be happy and healthy.

-This argument is easily the most emotional of the three and has definitely left the two of you weeping at times

-But reaffirming your love for one another throughout the entire thing is going to be the thing that keeps you going.

3. Moving for work

-I don't particularly see either of you wanting to move for work, but I think he'd be more inclined if it's a good position or opportunity for you/your family

-That being said, moving is a BIG deal

-And especially if you're established in your job or you're pregnant or things are going well socially, that's a lot to ask of you

-This one feels more like a pros and cons list kind of conversation that ends in the both of you weighing it out and talking it out over several days or weeks to figure out if it's going to be best for you/your family

-Again, I think that the takeaway in all of these is that he's constantly trying to be better, not to let his anger get the best of him, and to try to reaffirm to you how much he loves you

-Hugs, cuddles, and hand kisses are a necessary part of communication for these arguments

-And the soft and tender holding one another that comes after making up is going to absolutely be worth it

[torreshalstead]

It Seemed Like a Good Idea - Chapter 10

Summary - Hailey’s US visa was due to expire, which normally wouldn’t be an issue as the CPD would get it renewed but due to a backlog of paperwork, this wasn’t possible. This meant Hailey was faced with the real possibility of having to leave the country, her job and everything she held dear. That was until Jay offered up a solution which would allow her to stay in Chicago, in Intelligence, with him - they could get married. Getting married was a good idea, right?

Chapters - 10/20

Chapter Title - The Party

Notes - just wanted to give a heads up that the posting schedule for this may change if I get my move sorted but I will post to let you know if it does. Happy Reading ❤️ AO3 Link

What happened next was a blur, there were congratulations from everyone but all Jay was focused on was the feeling of Hailey’s hand tucked snugly into his. She had said loved him. He knew she did, in a friend-kind of way anyway. You don’t become best friends with someone unless you love them but it was the way she had said it. That she loved him and she always would. It had sounded like she meant it.

But she couldn’t have.

She was just playing into the persona that they both had adopted to get her to stay here. It was an act and the words were just that, just words, without the meaning they normally held. But still, his hand was in hers, he was her husband, and the added benefit, he had got the chance to kiss her again.

Adam announced loudly that they were having a party at Molly’s, it didn’t matter that it was barely past noon, they were having a party and it was non-negotiable. Jay could hear Makayla cheering until Adam said that she could only stay for a bit before Jordan, Kevin’s younger brother, would come and pick her up. Even her argument that princesses like parties was falling on deaf ears.

‘We will meet you there,’ Jay said to the group when he realised he hadn’t heard Hailey say anything on the topic of the party. He squeezed her hand gently and she smiled up at him, the gratitude clear on her face.

‘Let’s give the newlyweds a bit of privacy and we will see you at Molly’s,’ Kevin said with a grin.

‘If you don’t show up, we will be coming to find you so be quick, we don’t want to find you in a compromising position,’ Adam said with a smirk and was rewarded with a slap to his arm from Kim.

‘We will see you there,’ Jay said firmly with a nod before tugging Hailey towards the exit of the building.

Hailey had arrived in Kim’s car but Jay’s truck was parked just a block away having driven himself to the courthouse with Will. Hailey was still quiet as Jay held the door open for her and she took a seat. It was their wedding day after all, what kind of groom let his bride open her own door, patriarchal connotations or not.

He took a brief second to steal himself before climbing into the driver's seat.

‘You alright?’ He asked her softly once the doors were closed.

‘We’re married,’ was all Hailey said, her gaze focused straight ahead but not on one thing in particular.

‘Yeah we are,’ Jay agreed, not sure if she was happy or sad or maybe even angry at the situation. He was struggling to read her right now, normally he was the only person who could read Hailey.

‘We’re married,’ she said but this time she giggled. Hailey Upton was giggling at the fact that she had married him - he wasn’t sure how to take that. She looked over at him, and Jay realised his worry must have been painted across his face. ‘No, I don’t mean it like that,’ she said quickly, reaching across to put a hand on his leg. ‘I just mean it’s a bit weird right, like we are actually married.’

‘I guess,’ Jay said, attempting to focus on absolutely anything but on her hand and its warmth against his thigh.

‘I know you said I’m not supposed to say it, but thank you Jay. I guess I never thought we’d actually go through with it but thank you,’ she said and before Jay knew what was happening, she had leant across the centre console and had pressed her lips to his cheek. She lingered for a moment, longer than she had done when she had previously kissed his cheek. When she pulled back her cheeks were a little rosier than they had been before and Jay couldn’t help but smile.

All the other times they had kissed, both on the cheek and when he had actually had the opportunity to taste her lips, it had been part of the act. Either in front of people or as practice for being in front of people. But this was just them. This was Hailey kissing him because she wanted to. She wanted to. And he wanted her to.

‘I think we have a party to get to,’ he said, clearing his throat a little and when she grinned at him, he had to grin back.

‘We should have guessed Adam would do something like this,’ she said, reaching up to pull her seatbelt across her chest.

‘We don’t have to stay too long if we don’t want to, we are the newlyweds after all,’ he said with a wink, shifting his truck into drive and pulling out, Hailey’s giggle still ringing in his ears.

——————————————————————————

Jay drove the long way to Molly’s; they both agreed that the slight delay in their arrival would add to the image that they were madly in love and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They also discussed that their wedding day would likely be a chance for them to be more hands-on and open about their relationship than they had been in the past.

‘So if we need to kiss?’ Jay asked, wanting to be absolutely clear so neither of them got caught in an awkward or a compromising position.

‘We kiss,’ Hailey said with a nod. ‘We can just stick together and go with the flow.’

‘Go with the flow,’ Jay agreed. ‘Let’s go face the music then,’ he said with a chuckle, climbing out of the vehicle and jogging round quickly to her side. ‘M’lady,’ he said dramatically with a bow when he opened her door. He didn’t look up as she took his hand but when he heard her laugh he had achieved his goal.

He’d never tire of the sound of her laugh.

They walked into the well known bar hand in hand and were immediately hit with a wall of noise; cheers, wolf whistles and a sea of people. Everyone they could think of was standing in front of them; their teammates obviously and everyone from the courthouse, the 51 lot were also there along with officers they knew from the district who wanted to give their congratulations.

Jay felt Hailey’s hand tighten in his slightly as they both took it all in but he squeezed it gently and then pulled her into his side, giving her the opportunity to bury her face into his chest under the guise of being overwhelmed - which is exactly what she was and exactly what she did.

‘You guys!’ Jay exclaimed when Hailey had reappeared, her smile back in its position on her cheeks.

They moved towards the group, happily accepting congratulations, best wishes and the odd slap on the back. He could hear people complimenting Hailey on her dress, and he couldn’t blame them, she looked like a goddess. Her cheeks reddened anytime anyone did, her embarrassment clear but they were all speaking the truth.

‘Let them breathe guys,’ Stella said loudly to the group and Jay was silently thankful for it, he loved their friends, he really did but having them all here like this, it was a lot.

Stella led them over to the bar and passed them each a glass of Champagne, ‘only the best for my favourite bride and groom,’ she said with a grin. ‘But seriously guys, congratulations.’

‘Thanks Stella,’ Hailey said but Jay could tell there was something playing on her mind. He assumed it was just being the centre of attention, Hailey was never a fan.

When she was awarded the Superintendent's Award for Valor and had to accept it in front of a room full of white shirts and big wigs and she had been trembling as she took to the stage. Platt had organised a congratulations party for her afterwards but Hailey feigned a headache and didn’t make an appearance. When Jay had shown up at her apartment later that night she had let him know how much she hated it.

A couple of glasses of whiskey later she had opened up and explained how it stemmed from her childhood when being the centre of attention would always lead to questions about her home life which was something she avidly avoided. Jay knew enough about her past to be able to read between the lines and understand why young Hailey would have preferred to stay in the shadows. But he also wished she could see why people wanted to celebrate her now, she was an incredible cop and a wonderful person. She deserved all the awards and accolades but he also knew that old habits die hard.

‘You okay?’ He murmured into her ear on the pretence of giving her a kiss on the cheek, his lips brushing against her ear.

He pulled back so he could see her face and she gave him a tiny nod and a shy smile, he wasn’t sure he believed her but Violet had come over to congratulate them and prevented him from asking any further questions.

——————————————————————————

The next hour or so continued in the same manner. The biggest drama was when Jordan arrived to pick up Makayla and the little girl refused to go before she had a photo shoot with Hailey. She demanded that since they both had pretty dresses on they had to get some pictures. Jay watched from the side as Makayla directed Hailey into various poses and Kim happily obliged to be their photographer. It was adorable to watch and he intended to get Kim to send him some of the shots - the one of them both holding out their skirts as if they were curtsying was precious and he needed a copy of it.

Once Mak had left, getting a round of applause from the group as she walked out waving like the Queen, the music was turned up and the party got far louder than it should be for 3pm on a Saturday afternoon.

Hailey and he stayed away from the dance floor, happy just to watch others indulge and lean against the bar, his arm still firmly around her waist and both of their hands not without a drink at any point.

Suddenly Hermann’s voice came through the AV system, ‘seeing as they are both avoiding the dance floor, maybe they were just waiting for the perfect song for their first dance. I am pleased to introduce the newlyweds who I have reliably been informed are not taking each other’s names but I’m old fashioned so please welcome Mr and Mrs Halstead for their first dance!’

Jay’s palms suddenly went sweaty when the music changed from the dance music that had been playing to a slow acoustic song he didn’t recognise. Hands were pushing him and Hailey towards the space that had been cleared for a dance floor and he realised there was no way they were getting out of this one. He glanced down at Hailey and she smiled up at him with the ‘it’s okay’ look that he had gotten familiar with since they had started this charade. He reached down and gave her a quick peck on the lips and then dramatically offered her his hand.

She blushed but accepted all the same and let him lead her on to the dance floor. The crowd was cheering and clapping for them but he chose to focus only on the woman holding his hand. He spun her around before pulling her into his arms, smiling at the childish giggle she let out. He held her close, an arm around her back, the other holding her hand tight to his chest, swaying in time to the music, letting the words wash over him.

You felt like home

Something so right in your eyes

Starting to believe we were always meant to be

He felt Hailey lean her head against his shoulder and couldn’t resist dropping a kiss to her head. He may be mistaken but he thought he felt her pull herself just a little closer when he did.

What are the chances you and I would be side by side

And I could never count the millions of miles in the world, but somehow

What are the chances you and I would be side by side.

As the music picked up, he was glad when others joined them on the dance floor and everyone was no longer solely focused on him and Hailey. Neither of them made a move to let go of each other however, nor to amend their dancing style to the faster beat of the middle of the song. They continued to sway slowly, their bodies as close as they could be, neither letting go.

Must be more than just right place right time, baby

As the music came to an end, he realised that Hailey had gone stiff in his arms, her hand no longer holding his comfortably but clutching it tightly as if her life depended on it.

He leant down so he could whisper in her ear, ‘Hails, what’s wrong?’ But he just felt her shake her head against him and press herself up against him even further, but it was no longer providing him the joy it was before. It was as though he was her life raft and she needed him for survival.

He was about to ask her again, no longer believing her when she said she was okay but a chant of ‘speech speech’ had started up as soon as the song died down.

‘Come on, time for the groom to give a speech,’ Will said loudly into the mic, having clearly wrestled it from Hermann’s grip. Jay shot him a glare but Will just winked back in response.

Hailey pulled back and pushed him gently towards his brother, the smile on her face small and Jay wasn’t sure it was completely genuine but he couldn't ask her about it now.

‘Fine fine,’ Jay said in defeat, his arms flying up in the air as he accepted the microphone from his brother.

‘I’ll have make it short and sweet because my darling brother here didn’t see fit to warn me in advance,’ Jay said to a smattering of chuckles from the crowd.

‘As many of you know, Hailey and I have been partners for a long time,’ Jay started, thinking quickly on his feet to say something that would appease the group, his eyes fixed on Hailey as he spoke. Kim had come up next to her and had wrapped an arm around her but he could still see that Hailey’s smile didn’t quite meet her eyes. ‘Somewhere along the line, she stopped being just my partner and became my best friend and then we fell in love.’ The crowd oohed and Jay blushed. ‘Yes, we’re adorable. But seriously, asking Hailey to marry me was the easiest and best decision of my life and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with her by my side,’ he finished with a smile, and passed the microphone back to Will.

‘To Hailey,’ Will said, raising his glass in the direction of Hailey. The crowd echoed it back.

Jay strolled back towards Hailey and pulled her into a hug, she responded in kind and wrapped her arms around his back but he heard her whisper into his ear, ‘can we go home please?’ Her voice was quiet and shaky, unlike Hailey’s normally steady tone and her heads were holding on to back tightly, the fingers digging into the fabric of his jacket.

‘Okay,’ he said, not wanting to put her on the spot and question what had changed in her mood from a few hours ago. Taking off his jacket and wrapping it around her he tucked her back under his arm and headed towards the door. It was too much to think they could sneak out unnoticed but he was prepared to take the comments and the snickers as they bailed on their own wedding party, anything to get Hailey out of somewhere she was clearly uncomfortable.

As usual, she was his priority and something was obviously wrong right now.

Lyrics from Side by Side - The Shires

[asherloki]

Too good to keep

Poe dameron x reader love at first sight ~ request by @lilacspider

Trope list !

Poe was right there where your eyes spotted him. On the pavement where bb8 was walking with him happily. Gosh his smile, that face, those eyes, everything had you wonderstruck. As you stared at him from the opposite pavement. You sat there at the table outside a cafe. You kept staring as long as he was at sight and he was at sight for a long time. Oops, you felt your cheeks reddening as you saw his eyes met yours, caught you staring at him. You felt a little embarrassed and decided to focus on your coffee. And so you did yet his face was just a kind of picture which came infront of you everytime you blinked. You sipped your coffee and as you were about to pay the bill with some tip you saw a figure came and stood infront of you, you raised your face and to your surprise, it was that guy from the pavement with his droid.

"Excuse me" he said smiling, and your hear skipped a beat. You forgot to blink and kept on staring.

"Um hi?" He had to ask you again to get a response from you.

"Oh, oh I'm sorry, I mean, uh hi". And stuttering you tried to get up from your chair, eventually the rush made your purse and money fall on the floor. What a fool you made of yourself infront this attractive guy.

"Oh never mind I'll help." The incredibly nice guy got down to his knees collecting your purse and coins.

"Here" he said handing you your purse.

"Thanks" you smiled taking it from him until your fingers brushed his hand and you lost it, your cheeks were visibly red. You stood there not knowing what to do or say next.

"I was actually" poe started, "I... I noticed you from that sidewalk and I found you pretty."

That handsome guy told you pretty, well now that's something. You were again too wonderstruck to reply yet you tried to utter,

"Well, thanks, you look quite captivating too." You said. Then regreted your word choice, possibly was too straight forward. Poe didn't make it awkward, he laughed at it and then asked you,

"If you're interested" which he was sure you were, "would you mind if we share phone numbers?"

He barely completed his sentence and you agreed. After that you two started dating, for you both, catching feelings happened easily rather. Because you both captivated eachother. Few dates went well and he finally asked you to be his girlfriend. You remember your first kiss. It was like a dream, yet not untouchable. It was real. And the reality is finally better now for you, so you wanted him to meet your parents. Your parents wanted to meet poe too, so the day came when you were finally about to ask him to come to your place. You both met at a park, poe seemed a little lost in thoughts that day,

"Poe?" You called him.

"Hmm ?" He hummed in response bringing him back to reality.

"I was thinking if you could meet my parents." You finally got all the courage to ask him. He seemed unamused, rather disappointed,

"I..." His voice trailed off.

"Poe, what happened?" You started to grow more panicked. Why's he not enthusiastic.

"I have to go on a mission." He said.

"Yeah so?"

"I'm not sure how long it'll take, I don't want to keep you waiting."

You're heart, there was a cracking sound if he could hear. You blamed yourself for dreaming a wedding with him, you blamed your parents for accepting this relationship, you blamed him for leaving you for work, all silently. Tears stream down your cheeks, you two sat shedding tears. Accepting the fate, perhaps you two weren't meant to be. Perhaps your finger will find some other ring than the one poe wore round his neck.

[marta-bee]

I keep hearing Gov. Walz's slogan, "Mind your own damned business," in the news. I believe in it - quite a lot! - but I don't see a lot of people recognizing just what it demands. And that worries me, because we've been here before.

Back before gay marriage was legalized, one of the main arguments for doing that was it didn't actually affect straight peoples' marriages at all. Gay people being able to marry didn't mean a single straight couple would have to divorce, it didn't give them any less rights in any way, it just meant gay people had access to the same civil and legal apparatus to build their lives together and have it legally recognized. And a lot of people who didn't approve of homosexuality were still to support gay marriage, because they weren't being asked to support it. It wasn't about that, it was about being fair and not getting all up in someone else's business.

It got more personal after, because unless you're going to have a really narrow definition of what that marriage means, of course it's going to affect all kinds of people. Obergefell didn't go nearly far enough in this area, because gay people were still subject to all kinds of discrimination; as the pundits often quipped, in most of America you could get married on Sunday and fired for it come Monday morning. But even with just the gay marriage description, you have all kinds of businesses saying they didn't want to say they approved of marriage by baking a cake, setting up a wedding website, doing the photos, whatever. Because at that point (they felt) gay marriage did affect them.

I personally think we're all most free when we keep business separate from identity and beliefs. Gay people, racial minorities, women and other non-male genders, trans people, all kinds of groups along those lines should be hired (or not) because they can do the job well. We should buy their product or service because they can do it well (or not). They should be accepted as customers along the same lines. But what about someone who votes for Trump? Who donates to him? Who yells at a local school board meeting about librarians sharing filth with their kids? Who puts a "We support Israel" sign in their shop window or get caught on the news yelling racist screeds while yelling a MAGA hat at a counter-protester?

I don't have an easy answer to all that. I recognize there's a difference between identity and beliefs, though these days in America being in the Trump camp really does feel more like a tribe than an ideology. And emotionally, I sympathize with wanting to call people out for a lot of those behaviors. But rationally, if we're trying to focus on "Mind your own damned business," to focus on being neighbors and helping each other as neighbors rather than on the things they do and believe we disagree with, that does swing both ways.

I actually think this is the defining political question of our age: how much space do we need to make for people to do, say and believe things we find hateful in the public space, and when does that cross over into endorsing those things? To take one example: say someone objected to what HBCU's taught as "critical race theory" (not the actual thing but how right-wingers used the word), they though it was revisionist and anti-white. I'm honestly surprised this hasn't happened yet, given what's argued at the K-12 level. And say this person says, okay, if people want to go there and study that it's none of my business; but if they're using Pell grants and federally-subsidized student loans and the like, they certainly don't want to pay for that with their taxes. Their starting point is ridiculous (but dangerous) nonsense, but that's not the point I'm really interested in. Does minding their own business mean they can't object to their tax dollars paying for it? What if we're not talking about a HBCU but Bob Jones, Hillsdale, or Liberty University, schools with famously fundamentalist curriculum? Does it matter if it's not some universal program but an earned tuition benefit, like the GI Bill?

Or at a more local level: if your neighbor is always posting about how Hamas is a terrorist organization and we need to support Israel on Twitter, is that reason enough not to do your laundry at her laundromat?

I really don't think there's a straightforward, easy answer on all this. All kinds of factors play into specific situations. But I do think "Mind your own damned business," especially when we get into the nitty-gritty of lived reality, is a lot more challenging to us on the left than it seems at first glance. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's bound to involve growing pains, though, and probably a lifetime of struggling for that right balance. Good luck to us all (left and right) with that one....

[fanfic-inator795]

It’s 3 am, I can’t sleep both because I’m too awake and because my cat keeps getting in my face, and for whatever reason I’m in the mood to talk about my aromantic journey.

I’m not sure how many aros/allos had this experience, but I distinctly remember trying to force crushes as early as elementary school. I’d have no real reason why other than ‘hey, the girls in the cartoons I watch have crushes, so I should too. If Helga Pataki is out here daydreaming about her wedding, I should too!’

Never mind the fact that I barely even knew the boy I was drawing myself at the altar with, I just knew he was nice - and after a month AT MOST I’d just never talk to or think about him again. At that time I really was so much in my own world that I really did have one or two close friends and then a bunch of acquaintances because we had all went to the same elementary/middle school.

The closest thing I ever got to a ‘boyfriend’ of sorts was this guy in high school who was a year older than me. We were both in our school band’s brass section (different instruments tho, I can’t remember if he was trombone or tuba) and he was practically the definition of a safe guy.

Beyond the fact that we were both in band, we both liked cartoons and liked talking about cartoons. I even shared my fanfiction with him and he was always nice to me. We were good friends, and again with how many Friends to Lovers plots I saw on TV, I just had kind of a “yeah, if this happens I could live with it” mentality.

I told myself that I had a crush on him, but honestly I think I was just really happy to have a close friend. All our ‘dates’ were to the movies, but I always cared more about the movie itself and then talking about it with him afterwards (wasn’t that the whole point of going to the movies with someone, I wondered, completely missing and ignoring the OTHER point of movie dates)

We held hands once while watching one of our school’s musicals (couldn’t focus too much on whether or not I enjoyed it tho since I was suffering with a headache at the time. fucking Annie. Still hate those songs :P) I also remember him giving me these hugs that felt very long, and I remember asking my one friend if that seemed weird to her, not hating these hugs but not enjoying them as much as I probably should have either.

Things reached a culmination with prom. We had a two-hour late start on Valentine’s Day that year, and while I had bought him a Reese’s heart, I remember feeling nervous about possibly receiving some sort of grand prom-posal in return, and was relieved when the late start messed up his plans. I was already not feeling the whole prom thing, with my mom straight up telling me “if someone asks you, you’d better accept!” as a response. Sure enough, he asked me and I wasn’t sure how to say no.

Thankfully as I said, he was a truly nice guy, and when he saw my hesitation he suggested an alternative: a movie, supper at Applebee’s (aka the closest thing you get to fairly nice dining in a small Midwest town) and then the after-prom carnival. I instantly agreed. At the time I told myself the reason why I didn’t wanna go to actual prom was because I was shy, hadn’t had good experiences at other school dances and didn’t want to get all dressed up. All honest reasons that I’m sure did play a big part, but I think my unknown-at-the-time uncomfiness with personal romance also played a part.

Before then, I can remember pondering over my date-lessness, acknowledging how weird it probably was that I had never kissed anyone and how possible it was that I’d just stay a virgin… and those thoughts were just that, thoughts. No angsting, just a passing “yeah, I guess that is weird” and then moving on, never really feeling passionate enough or worried enough to properly dwell on it.

Anyway, as I said before, the most enjoyable and memorable part of my prom night was seeing Aardman’s “Pirates: Band of Misfits” (still a great movie). Afterwards, we continued hanging out until he graduated and went off to college, and while we hung out a couple more times after, it didn’t take us long to loose touch.

I remember the last time we hung out feeling so damn anxious and not really knowing why, to the point of nearly canceling our meet-up. Then we did meet up, we talked, had a chill and friendly time - and again, SUCH a relief without really knowing why.

My last real ‘experience’ with romance was in college with another ‘safe’ guy from one of my classes. I thought I liked him, he somehow noticed and asked. I said yes, he said he wasn’t interested in a relationship at the time, and i was just like “oh, okay, no worries”. And that was that, no second thoughts.

Outside of that, I explored my maybe-bisexuality through RPs with the person who had not only become my best friend (love you Tessa ^v^) but who first taught me what asexuality was. I came to a conclusion that ‘hey, I think I’d be okay with dating girls actually, cause girls are pretty and these girls I’ve been hanging out with during study abroad are really nice’. Again, when you grow up with 1-2 close friends AT MAX per grade/per school, genuine friendship seems like the biggest thing in the world (and tbh it is, at least to me but I’m sure not to others, not to the same extreme I mean).

I graduated college without ever having a boyfriend, a girlfriend or even a first kiss - and being pretty okay with that. I knew 100% at that point that I was a proud asexual who thought sex seemed sorta boring at best and gross/painful at worst, easily falling into the neutral/repulsed side of things. I kept using the bi label (and for what it’s worth, it still half-fits since, when it comes to the animated characters I’m attracted to, I’m still good with both) until a year or two ago when I fully accepted that I was likely somewhere on the aro spectrum as well - and much like when I realized I was ace, it suddenly made a lot of things make more sense.

So here I am, a happy ace/aro woman who gets to live with my best friend and our two cats - and after over 10 years of friendship (longest, most meaningful and least fairweather friendship I’ve ever had, next to the one I have with my brother) and about two years of getting to live with her and have fun with her and be there for her in all the ways she’s there for me - in all honesty, I truly can’t think of a better outcome ^v^

[lionessinarms]

The Months in Between chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

It's the night of the charity event for the Firetown flood. It's being held uptown at the Argentum Aurum Hotel. The fanciest hotel in all of Element City. Everyone who's anybody is going to be there. The Mayor even prepared a speech. Brooke wanted to spare no expense and rented out a limousine for the Ripple family to pick up the Lumens. It's black tie event and Wade is in a black tux with a bowtie (like the Oscar art). He steps out of the limo to the Shop, it's closed early for the event. He looks a bit nervous because last time he was here he got into a huge shouting match with Bernie. He takes a big gulp and walks into the Shop.

Upstairs Cinder is helping her daughter with the final touches in her dress. It's like a cross between her familiar black dress and ceremonial gem robe. It's backless and long flowing. She is wearing long gloves, a surprise for Brooke, with matching dangling earrings. Cinder is beaming at her daughter. "Oh it's like I'm getting you ready for your wedding day."

Ember looking nervous, "Àshká! It's just a fancy party. Think of it as a big celebration for you and dad retiring!"

Cinder agrees, "Oh yes, I am very much looking forward to it."

Ember gets up to go look at herself in the mirror. She smiles brightly and then turns to her mom to ask. "You think Wade will like the dress?"

Cinder having done hundreds of matches tells her daughter, "He may be Water but he's still a guy." She puts her arm around her and says with a smile. "I think he has the hots for you."

Ember laughs.

From downstairs in the Shop. Wade walks in to the closed store. The only light source is coming from the Blue Flame in the back and Bernie sitting up front at the table by the window. Bernie clears his throat and waves at Wade.

Wade nervously adjusts his tie and walks over to the table. Wade doesn't know where to start but with a greeting. "Hello, you look great."

Bernie nervously, "Thank you, you look good too."

Both men look down but Wade pokes his head back up first. "Hey I'm sorry about the other day. I meant no disrespect."

Bernie nods his head, "Hmm, I apologize for my outburst too." He pauses then tells Wade, "Actually I'm impressed you stood up to me. You need do exactly that for Ember when I'm not around."

Wade smiles, "Yes sir. Anything for her." He takes a seat across the table and asks. "They're not ready yet huh?"

"Nope." Not knowing what else to stay Bernie asks "So how's work going? I hear good things about you all the time from our customers."

Wade smiles at this but then says, "Honestly I hate it. My job is finding mistakes, give the bad news, and don't do a thing about it. If it wasn't for my mom's architect knowledge helping me come up with good news to give people, I wouldn't know how much longer I could do this. It's tons of added work but the result has been faster repairs and more importantly happier people. Making that connection is what's worth it to me. That and I'm saving up for something special."

"Connecting with people is why I wanted the Fireplace. Though the work is hard and with long hours. Not always fun but I had a responsibility to take care of my wife and Ember."

Wade gets real with Bernie as he leans forward to stare at the Blue Flame from across the room. "Having Ember in my life has given me such drive and focus. It's made working so much easier." Wade takes a pause then decides to tell Bernie something big. "I want to ask her to marry me one day."

Bernie looks at Wade giving him a straight face with slightly widen eyes and raised eyebrows. Wade turns to look at Bernie. You can tell Wade is very serious and sincere about what he has just said. Saying what he feels in his heart. 

At the same time this is happening Cinder has come down the stairs and sings "We're ready!" She is excited the most for this party. Both men stand up for their ladies. From behind Cinder comes Ember.

You thought Wade was excited to see Ember at the movies this is ten times that only without the water works. He almost forgets how to breath as he stares at her beauty.

As Ember walks up to Wade they both can't keep their eyes off each other, smiling too. Ember's beautiful light is showing.

Cinder gets to her husband first and takes ahold of his arm. Bernie smiles softly at her then the both smile up at Ember.

Ember gets to Wade. He softly, almost in a whisper says. "You look so beautiful." Never looking away from her eyes they both reach for each other's hands. It's only when they touch does Wade realizes. "You're wearing gloves?"

Ember tells him. "It's a surprise for your mom. She seems like she always wants to give me a hug for some reason."

Cinder being nosy asks, "So what did you two talk about while we were getting ready?"

Wade has a slightly nervous look on his face. He is hoping Bernie doesn't give away his huge secret but he wanted him to know how serious he loves Ember.

Bernie calmly, "Oh nothing big. Just work and guy stuff." Cinder looks a little suspicious but then shrugs it off.

Wade smiles and takes the opportunity to get going. "Come on. My mom is in the limo waiting for us." Bernie and Cinder arm and arm step out first. Ember takes Wade's arm and he places his hand on top of hers as they walk out too. 

In the limo ride over. Cinder and Brooke are enjoying their time together. Chatting it up like they are old time girlfriends with glasses of Champaign in their hands. Wade and Ember stair at them like they just caught two Earth elements pruning. 

Wade whispers to Ember "Is this weirding you out too because we didn't introduce them to each other?"

"Yep."

Bernie is sitting cross armed next to Uncle Harold, "I got to say your vest is just so colorful."

Bernie thinking it's a weird complement, "Uhhh, thank you?"

Uncle Harold continues, "I just love working with colors."

Bernie doesn't know where he is going with this and feels uncomfortable that he scoots away from him just a bit.

Curious Ember asks, "So how did you two meet?"

It's a flash back. Brooke starts the story. "I went to the Fireplace the morning you started the welding job." Brooke walks into the Shop with her head held high and sees Cinder. "I knew who Cinder was the moment I saw her, the family resemblance is undeniable." 

Cinder stops and stares up at the water women with an untrusting squint in her eyes. Cinder knew who she was too but still asks, "Mrs. Ripple?"

Brooke goes, "Mrs. Lumen?" It's like a stand off as they pause.

Then Cinder speaks. "Would you care for some tea?"

"I'd love some!" Brooke proclaims. And they been good friends ever since.

Bernie leans over to Wade and Ember, "It's weirding me out too."

Wade tells Bernie, "I wonder what stories they know?"

Cinder points to Wade, "I know about the sponge!"

"AH!" Wade goes and backs away. Ember looks horrified with him.

Brooke follows up with, "So treat Ember right, not that you wouldn't dear." She says with a smile on her face.

Bernie asks, "What's a sponge?"

Ember whispers near Wade's face, "Don't worry, if she ever has one, I'll just burn it."

Wade smiles and relaxes putting his arm around Ember, "My hero."

The limo pulls up to the hotel lobby entrance. The place is huge like a convention center with a massive staircase. Lake with Ghibli and Allen with his family are on the steps waiting for the rest of the Ripples. On the same steps are Flarrietta and Flarry waiting for Bernie and Cinder.

Wade and Ember are the last to step out of the limo. Wade then notices Ember's dress is backless. Wade gets a silly nervous look on his face, blushes, and rubs the back of his head trying to quite down the popping thought bubbles. Ember doesn't catch his nervousness but his siblings do.

Allen see's Wade's face first and jokes around with him, "Hey what's wrong Bro?"

Lake adds on, "Yeah, you nervous about something?"

Brooke chimes in, "Oh you two stop it." As Wade smiles nervously.

Flarrietta waves over to the Lumens, "Oy, we saved you a table."

Bernie and Cinder turn to their daughter. Cinder tells Ember, "You go stay with Wade's family." Bernies says with a smile, "We'll mingle with you all after we catch up with the other Firish."

Wade goes, "Hey we can stop by too."

Flarry steps forward, "We got enough room for your family too."

Ember smiles at this and glows bright.

Inside the hotel's grand hall. It really is a melting pot of all Elements including Firish guests, workers, food, and art on display. Vinny, Gale, and other Construction leads in their best dress are in a circle chatting and laughing. The Firish welders are sitting with other construction men of different Elements with their wives and families all chatting. Their kids are even playing with each other. A Earth boy is chasing around a Firish boy laughing. A Water and Air kid pops in to play too. Jimmy and Wendy are lovingly dancing with each other. This charity ball doesn't feel like a depressing event but a grand celebration of the whole City coming together.

Wade looks around with Ember. "Wow, this is even cooler then I thought."

Cinder and Bernie are sitting down at a fancy table. They've gotten their familiar Firish food and drinks. Cinder tells her husband. "Now this is how to start off a retirement." Bernie smiles at her and they chime their glasses together in a toast.

There's a dance floor with music. Wade and Ember are dancing together. It just feels like the perfect celebration for the two of them.

Wade says to her. "Can this be an unofficial redo of my high school prom?"

Ember with her head on his chest laughs, "Only if it's redo of mine too." She pulls back to look at him. "I'm really looking forward to our weekend together." 

Wade looks into her eyes and nearly a whisper. "Me too." He slides his hand a little lower on her bare back and rubs his thumb across.

His touch sends electric like waves through Ember's body but she is very good at hiding it. She then places a hand on his cheek. He closes his eyes expecting a kiss on other cheek but it ends up being more of a kiss on his jaw closer to his neck. He pulls back to look at her. Trying to read her face like he did when they first touched. Ember is giving him the half lidded, droopy, bedroom eyes. Wade softens and gives the same look back. He is one lucky Water guy. The music stops and an announcer asks everyone to take their seat. Wade says something to Ember about meeting her back at the seat. As Ember sits down she motions to Brooke and Allen to come closer since the event is a bit loud. 

"I know what I want to give Wade but till need you're help with it later."

Brooke smiles and Allen goes, "You got it Ember."

Wade sits back down next to Ember and takes ahold of her hand as the Mayor of Element City begins his speech. He's an older Water man.

"My fellow Elements. When this City was founded four hundred years ago, Water had a vision. They took their first steps out of the sea and looked to sky. They felt the earth on their feet, the warmth from the sun on their bodes, and took a breath of fresh air. The Water of that time knew that this City would be the perfect place for all Elements to call home. Though throughout the years we have struggle to find common ground with each other. One thing has remained the spirit of our City and that is helping those in need in times of hardship. Our Firish community has been hurt. Out of all the disasters this City has face I have never seen such resilience and openness come from such Elements as we have from the Firish. From the new Welders on the upper banks." 

The Firish men cheer. Vinny and the other construction crew clap too. 

"And the shops in Firetown." Firish business owners cheer but Bernie stays humbly silent and smiles. 

The Mayor continues. "One shop in particular has been at the heart of our rebuild. Opening it's doors to all Elements helping to rebuild the community. And I hear their food is really good too." 

The crowd laughs. Bernie and Cinder look at each other and shrug. What business are they talking about? 

"Which is why I am proud to award the key to the City to Bernie and Cinder Lumen of the Fireplace!"

Bernie and Cinder are in shock. They were not expecting this kind of recognition. Neither was Ember as she brings her hand up to her face in shock and happy tears. She turns towards her parents and motions them to go up there. Flarrietta and Flarry tell them to go there too as they clap. Wade and the Ripples are surprised and they start crying happy tears. Wade puts his hands on Ember's shoulder for support. Which in turn, she puts one of her hands on top of his as she watches her parents go up on stage. 

As the Mayor hands Bernie the key he says. "The Fireplace is now officially marked forever as a historical site in all of Element City." He whispers to Bernie, "Which means all code violations are grandfathered in." And winks.

Bernie looks surprised at Ember and Wade then smiles.

Ember is clapping and Wade gives a goofy grin with a shrug as he claps. Ember is in tears of joy and thinks so herself what a perfect way for her parents to retire to.

Author's Note: this wasn't supposed to be the end of this chapter but the next few chapters I wrote were so much fun! They ended up being long then I thought. XDD!!

[flowersarefreetherapy]

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Thank you @soheavyaburden for the tag!

1. Are you named for anyone?: Yeah, I actually am! I’m named after a person who was murdered in Rome during the reign of Nero (I think he was the one ruling during that time …. Now I’m second guessing that)

2. When was the last time you cried?: what is this! I have been tricked into attending therapy! Lol, anyway, it was a few weeks ago, when I attended a wedding. It was sweet and sentimental and very fun to attend (and then I realized a whole lot of things, starting with dresses and I are not friends)

3. Do you have kids?: Nopey nope nope nope. Perhaps at some point on the future I would like to, but kids and I don’t usually click, so who knows

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?: no, no, totally not at all. No clue why anyone would even ask this, not at all.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?: usually their sense of style. I’ve never been able to really get/understand that, so when I see someone, I’m usually drawn to what they wear

6. What’s your eye color?: Dark brown!

7. Scary movies or happy endings?: Happy endings all the way. Scary movies and I don’t click (though if the storyline is good enough, I will forgive the suspense). But I want to know that the characters are going to have a happy ending, that their world (and mine) isn’t hopeless, that there is always and hope, no matter how dark the night has become. Yeah, call me sappy, but happy endings all the way (or endings that make sense for a character and completes their arc)

8. Any special talents?: I can lick my nose with my tongue, if that counts???

9. Where were you born?: Mitten state!

10. What are your hobbies?: I’m still counting reading as a hobby, since middle school me would combust if I didn’t. Writing is also a big hobby and a weird form of stress relief that I absolutely love. I occasionally will pick sewing back up again, but it’s mainly reading and writing as hobbies. Though I did have a fun period where archery was a hobby and I did that nonstop

11. Have you any pets?: I do! A golden retriever named Guinevere whom I love dearly and who makes it her mission to get dirt and blond fuzz on every single pair of pants I own.

12. What sports do you play/have played?: absolutely none. I was a bookworm through and through as a child (though there was a period when I begged my parents to let me play softball. It didn’t happen)

13. How tall are you?: 5 feet, 2 inches. Yes, I am short. Yes, I will steal your kneecaps if you mention it

14. Favorite subject in school?: History!!!! It has been my favorite subject since elementary school and is now my minor! I love love love it and if you get me started, I can and will talk for hours about it. Now that I know the fancy words to explain it better, I tell people I study social history with a focus on 18th century revolutions (fancy words!)

15. Dream job?: Okay, so I have a few. So I kinda am going for a degree in my dream job, which is cool and something I never thought I would get, but aside from that, I would love to be a reenactor. Seriously, if I could just wear an 18th century soldier’s uniform and tell people about that time or act out battles and all while doing it in character, I would be happy for life

Okay, tagging people, alright! (If you’ve already been tagged, I’m sorry) @blood-is-compulsory @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @whumpinggrounds @whumpcereal @eatyourdamnpears @forthetaintedsorrow-whump @winedark-whump @lonewhumper @hold-him-down @justplainwhump @straight-to-the-pain @thoughtsonhurtandcomfort @boxboysandotherwhump and @darkthingshappen!

[milo-my-beloved]

things we don't say

A continuation of the some other life 'verse.

Playlist 🎵 Buy me a cup of tea ☕

Chapter Seven: The Night We Met

"How was your weekend?" Nikolai asks as soon as Inej steps through the door of The Little Palace on Monday morning.

"Oh, you know." She shrugs, tying her apron around her waist. "I planned and successfully pulled off a heist, performed with my ex-boyfriend to a room full of the richest people in Kerch, was maid of honour at a wedding, and threw an upstanding mercher out of my friend's house."

Nikolai stares at her for a few seconds. "Not much, then. Zoya, honey, come and listen to the list of crimes your best barista has committed over the weekend, so I don't gaslight myself into believing his conversation never happened."

Zoya raises an eyebrow. "Please, describe how your life is more interesting than mine."

Inej curses the fact it's Nina's day off, but tells them anyway. She tries to focus on Wylan and Jesper — their wedding was the reason behind the heist, anyway — but she can't miss Zoya's incredulous expression and Nikolai's smirk every time she mentions Kaz.

"You still never told us why you broke up," says Zoya, turning on the coffee machine.

Inej sighs, leaning against the counter. There are never any customers this early in the morning. "It's not for me to say."

"Mysterious," Nikolai says. "Or are you holding out on us because you think there's a chance at rekindling the romance, perhaps?"

She smiles. She's waited for Kaz to call for two months, and a part of her would love for them to go back to what they were. But if he doesn't want to open up to her, she won't hold her breath.

"I certainly hope so," that familiar rock-salt rasp says from behind her.

Inej spins around, glad that her bronze skin disguises her blush. How long has Kaz been standing behind her? Nikolai and Zoya must have seen him walk up to the counter and not warned her, the traitors.

Zoya hands him a black coffee. "Two sugars. Take your break, Inej."

Continue reading under the cut // Continue reading on AO3.

"I feel like I'm being ganged up on," she mutters, but she follows Kaz over to a table hidden in the corner of the cafe.

He takes a sip of his drink instead of jumping straight into whatever he wants to say. It must be hot enough to burn his tongue, but he doesn't flinch.

"Is this about Jesper and Wylan?" she asks. If she doesn't prod him for answers, her break will be over by the time he explains why he's sought her out.

"No, they're fine. From what Matthias said, they're... enthusiastically celebrating their new marriage."

Inej laughs. "Poor Matthias. I bet he's regretting his choice of roommate already."

"I actually..." He trails off, staring into his coffee like it might hold the answers to life. "I wanted to tell you what my nightmare was about."

Inej sits up straighter. "You don't have to. You don't owe me the truth if you don't want to tell it."

His eyes meet hers, and she realises they're the same colour as the coffee. "I know. But I want to be that better man you spoke of, if you'll let me."

She smiles, tilting her head to one side. "I'd like that."

He takes a deep breath, steeling himself for whatever memory he is about to dredge up. "There was an accident, when I was a child." He looks like he's fighting every word that leaves his mouth. "My — my brother took me on a cruise. We weren't going far, just from Lij to Ketterdam. But on the way, he got seasick."

Inej's heart sinks.

"He had to stand at the back of the boat so he could vomit into the water. I laughed at him for being so green. And when we were nearly there, when Fifth Harbour was just in sight... he fell in."

She reaches a hand across the table, waiting for Kaz's silent permission before squeezing his gloved fingers.

"I'm not sure what happened. I think he hit his head on the way down. But I leapt in after him, and the boat never noticed two missing boys. I nearly didn't make it to the harbour, but when I got to Ketterdam, Jordie was dead."

"Kaz..." Inej trails off, not sure what words could ease such a loss. "I'm so sorry that you both went through that."

He shakes his head, taking a shaky breath through his mouth. "I've never told anyone before."

She squeezes his hand tighter. "Thank you for trusting me," she says, and she really means it. "How does it feel?"

"Painful. Raw." He places his other hand on top of hers, brushing his thumb over her hand absentmindedly. "But... good."

"Good," Inej echoes.

He lets go to take another sip of his coffee, looking down at it again. "I might need something stronger than this to drink, though."

She grins. "Nikolai owes me an afternoon off. How about we go and get spectacularly drunk?"

He smiles, and it feels like the beginning of a new chapter. "That's the best idea I've heard all week."

*****

The first stop on their quest to get as drunk as possible is the tiny (overpriced) shop on campus, and then back to Inej's flat to drink the cider they bought.

She doesn't bother getting changed, and makes sure she doesn't bring anything important with her that isn't a necessity. Inej isn't much of a drinker, but she's had to pick Jesper up from enough parties to know that drunk people are incapable of keeping track of their belongings.

Once they've finished their drinks and Kaz has beaten her at three rounds of Uno, they walk into the center of Ketterdam with another bottle of cider each. It's only fifteen minutes away, which is a blessing because the buses in this city never show up when they're supposed to.

The weather is pleasant for this time of year, and the fruity taste of the cider reminds Inej of her mother's autumn apple pies.

They have dinner in a pub in town — a burger for Kaz, and a waffle for Inej — and then they make their way to the same shady club that they went to on the night they met.

Inej buys them both two rounds of drinks so she doesn't have to keep getting up to walk to the bar and then sits next to Kaz in the same booth where he broke a creep's hand with his cane the last time they were here. They sip their drinks in peace — gin and tonic for Inej and a vodka lemonade for Kaz — giggling about the quality of dancing and the choice of music. They only leave when a bouncer recognises them and threatens to throw them out.

When the night air hits her, Inej feels like she could fly. She throws her arms out and runs down the hill of a cobbled street in a decidedly wonky line, laughing to herself and grinning up at Kaz.

"Where to now?" she asks once he's caught up.

His eyes light up with the wicked sparkle she's missed so much. "How about we find ourselves a house party?"

There's no shortage of parties in Ketterdam, especially not in the Barrel. Inej has never had much of a reason to stray this far from the university, but Kaz assures her he knows where he's going, so she's happy to follow him to their next destination.

It ends up being one of the narrow houses perched on the canal. For a Monday night, the house is packed, and as soon as Inej walks through the front door, she knows she isn't going to make it to her 9am lecture tomorrow.

They drink unnaturally flavoured punch from a bowl, and then Kaz pours himself a whiskey and Inej grabs a can of gin and tonic and they make their way into the garden.

"I'm sorry," Inej says as soon as they sit down on the unmowed grass. They aren't the only people outside, but she doubts the two women arguing at the bottom of the garden care about their conversation.

"About what?" asks Kaz. He stretches out his bad leg, laying his cane next to him. She can just see the crow's beak peeking through the long grass, and it makes her smile.

"Leaving."

She's replayed that night over and over a million times in her head, wondering what would have happened if she had stayed. The guilt kept her up at night, and now she knows the truth, she only feels worse about pressuring Kaz to tell her about his past.

"Don't apologise for that." Kaz takes a sip of his drink. "You were right to go."

She leans back on her hands, looking up at him.

"It was the push I needed," he admits. "You were right. I needed to tell someone. And losing you is the only thing worse than facing my demons."

"Still," she says.

"If you're insisting on apologising for that, then I'd like to say sorry for telling you to leave in the middle of the night."

She smiles up at the moon. "If you insist."

It's a clear night, and the wind is blowing the cool water from the canal at the bottom of the garden up to them. She shivers and edges closer to Kaz. Without saying a word, he shrugs off his blazer and wraps it tight around her shoulders.

"I missed you," she admits, burying her nose in the collar of his jacket and laying her head on his shoulder.

"I missed you too."

The two women's argument steadily increases in volume. They're both slurring their words, and are only a few steps away from the water, so Inej really hopes they can both swim.

She turns her gaze back up to the stars. She can't tell whether the alcohol is making her confident, or if the words are just long overdue, but she says them anyway.

"Kaz?"

"Mmm?"

"I think I love you."

He doesn't speak for a minute, but she doesn't risk turning to see his reaction in case she breaks the spell.

Eventually, he says, "You think?"

"I know," she quietly corrects.

"Well, in that case," he says, turning to look down at her so their faces are only a few inches away. "I know I love you too."

She closes the distance between them, Kaz's blazer slipping off one of her shoulders as she lifts her arm to wrap it around his neck.

They're rudely interrupted by a loud splash, and they break away to find one of the women flailing about in the canal.

Both of them burst out laughing at the same time, and it takes a while for them to calm down, especially when the woman squelches past them with a glare.

"What time is it?" Inej asks, when she's able to talk again.

"Time to go home," Kaz suggests. "I'll call a cab."

"Wait," she interrupts, a ridiculous revenge plot forming in her mind. "Let's call Jesper instead."

Maybe his last call was the one that got her and Kaz together, but she's still salty about being woken up at 2am.

"I'll call Jesper," Kaz says. She can only describe the grin on his face as evil, and it makes her desperate to kiss him again. "And you can call Wylan."

Laughing, they take turn making the calls. When both Jesper and Wylan have promised that they're on their way, they lie back on the grass, still giggling as they wait for their ride.

*****

Inej wakes up the next morning with her stomach rolling and stars exploding behind her eyes. She sits up slowly, Kaz's limp hand sliding off her and onto the mattress.

She rubs her eyes, trying to remember what happened last night. They went out, but how did they get home? She doesn't remember much after leaving the club, if she's honest.

Luckily, there's an orange square taped to Kaz's forehead. She leans closer to read it, not wanting to wake him up by accidentally shaving his eyebrows off.

Congratulations for sorting out your shit, Jesper's handwriting reads.

Inej smiles. There's still a million things left for both of them to say, but this time, she won't be letting Kaz go so easily.

She kisses him on the forehead, and then slips out of bed silently. Before they can face their future, she needs two things: breakfast, and a glass of water.