#I still see it but it might not be as common as I think

[loving-barnes]

EVAN BUCKLEY - MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Author's note: I have something new for you. Because I have a crush on Evan Buckley from 911, I have decided to write a fic. And it might not be the last. Yes, I know it's easter, but I was feeling a bit more festive. So, enjoy. I hope some of you will.

Summary: Y/N was invited to the Christmas dinner with the 118.

Pairing: Evan Buckley x female reader

Warning: none

Rating: 15+

Words: 4200+

Masterlist | Evan Buckley Masterlist

EVAN BUCKLEY - MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

This year, the Christmas celebration was held at the 118 station. The “A-shift” was working through the most wonderful day of the year. With that, or a few weeks before, came the idea of having a Christmas party at the station. Everyone was invited—everyone who was somehow related to each member of the fire station. Many people were expected, including kids. 

Bobby was happy to cook the turkey and ham at the station. His wife promised to make mashed potatoes, and bring peas and baked vegetables. Other firefighters brought food to the table - some sweet, others savoury. They wanted to be sure that there was plenty of food for everyone invited. 

Maddie drove with Y/N to the station. Both women wore Santa hats for the occasion and dressed casually as requested. The brunette kept eyeing her, grinning. “Are you excited?” she asked. 

Y/N squinted. “What’s with that face? What’s going on behind those eyes, huh?” 

Maddie parked the car at the station. “Nothing, nothing,” she shook her head, still grinning like a maniac. There was a silence for a good five seconds. “Just, thinking that you’ll be under the same roof with Buck.”

There it was, again. “Oh, that’s what’s happening,” she glared at her friend. “Listen, just because I confessed I have a tiny crush on your brother, doesn’t mean you get to have a field day with this.” 

“It’s cute, actually,” she said. “And the thought of you and my brother is appealing.” The brunette turned to her friend. “Okay, I have a confession.”

“Oh no.”

“There were two reasons why I brought you that night to meet everyone,” said Maddie. Before Y/N could send her to hell, she continued. “Yes, I wanted you to meet other people. You were new in the city and had no friends. But I wanted you to meet my little brother.”

“Meddler,” Y/N glared at her. “That’s what I’m gonna call you.”

“You two have so much in common! Exercising? Video games? Cooking / baking?!” she said excitedly. “Besides, there is a spark between you two.” 

They got out of the car and headed to the trunk to get the baked goods they brought. “I don’t know what you see, Mads, but I don’t see any spark. I don’t think your brother is interested in me at all. He’s just friendly. So, please, just drop it, okay?” 

Once the truck was locked, they walked inside the station. Maddie held a big box with sugar cookies and regular cookies. She decided to change the topic. “This year we are so lucky to have Christmas and New Year’s off,” the brunette said, cheerfully. 

Y/N carried a tray with a punch cake. It was heavy, but she was proud she could bake it on time. Everyone would get a piece or two. “You have plans for New Year’s?” she asked. 

“Athena and Bobby are having a New Year’s party at their house,” she said. “Chim and I are going. Didn’t they tell you?” 

Y/N looked at her friend, shaking her head. “N-no. But, that’s okay. I’ll just have a nice evening on the couch, watching TV and-”

Maddie stopped and turned to Y/N. “No, you are coming with us. Besides, they decided about three days ago. They will let you know about it, I’m sure of it.” 

“I don’t want to intrude,” Y/N sighed. “So, if they don’t say anything to me tonight, I’ll know I am not invited and that’s fine. I have a rule: don’t go anywhere you are not invited.” 

Maddie was about to protest, but they just landed on the last steps of the upper level. The place was nicely decorated. Ornaments hung around the bannisters and the ceiling. A Christmas tree was shining with multiple colours. And, of course, there were mistletoes. It was magical.

With the big boxes, it took both women a second to walk up the stairs. Many people were present, so they greeted everyone with a loud “Merry Christmas!” 

Cheerful greetings started from every side. Bobby was the first to appear, taking Maddie’s box first, then hugging her once he put it away. Athena jumped in, taking Y/N’s tray of punch cake. “Oh my god, you baked that?” she asked. 

Y/N nodded with a smile. “I did. We bake it every year on Christmas - also, a non-alcoholic version. There is only a punch scent,” she explained. “Otherwise we put rum in it.” 

“You have to give me a recipe and show me how to bake it,” Athena smelled the cake through a plastic wrap, her eyes rolled back. “Damn, that smells delicious. It’s gonna be hard putting off those extra holiday pounds when I see all these goods.” 

Athena served the cookies and punch cake. She put half and half on plates and set each on one side of the narrow table. 

Chim greeted Maddie with a deep kiss. Hen came to hug Y/N as well as Karen did. At this point, they knew Y/N well. The moment Maddie brought her to the bar that fateful night, she became part of this family. And it was nice, having this many people in her life. They looked for one another, they cared for each other. It was nice. It was special. 

“Y/N!” She heard Christopher’s cheerful voice. He slowly walked to her, a big smile plastered over his face. Her arms wrapped around him in a tight hug. “Merry Christmas, Chris. Maddie and I brought sweets,” she winked at him. 

“What kind?” 

“Sugar cookies, regular cookies and I made a punch cake. It’s a Christmas cake I make with my family during Christmas,” she explained to him. “It’s really good.”

“Can’t wait to try it,” he said excitedly. 

That kid was amazing. Even with cerebral palsy, he could do so much stuff. And he made everyone’s day better. His attitude was always positive. Y/N admired him and Eddie. 

Speaking of Eddie, he approached them, sweeping his son into his arms. It made Chris laugh. “Hey, Y/N. Glad you could make it,” he smiled at the woman. 

“Y/N.” Buck approached the young woman with a smile on his face. His hands spread wide. He was ready for a hug. “Merry Christmas.” 

There he was. The man who made her head spin. The man who made her heartbeat speed up like a race car. Buck was her Christmas wish. Somewhere deep in her fantasies, she imagined coming up to Santa and wishing for Buck to like her back. 

“Buck, Merry Christmas,” she greeted him, hugging the firefighter. 

This wasn’t the first time they hugged. They did it a couple of times. It turned into a causal thing between them. And damn, he smelled nice. Those strong arms around her; his body pressed against her… No, don’t go there. 

“I saw you brought a big tray,” he wiggled his brows. 

“I made a punch cake,” she said. How many times did she say it already? “So, I hope you’ll take a piece and tell me what you think since you’ve dipped your fingers into the culinary world.” There was a teasing grin on her face. 

“It’ll be my pleasure,” he bowed his head a little. “You accept criticism, right?” 

She made a face. “I do, don’t worry. You can go all Gordon Ramsay on me. I won’t mind. But I bet you’ll say only nice things about my baking skills.” 

Buck looked around, his eyes landing on a plate with sweets. He reached for a piece of punch cake and took a bite. Y/N watched him chew. He hummed, made a face and then swallowed. 

“Fuck, that’s one good cake,” he cursed and shoved the rest of the piece into his mouth. More humming came out of his throat. It made Y/N giggle. “Very on theme, very well baked from a pretty, skilful baker.” 

Pretty and skilful or pretty skilful, she wondered. Don’t get your hopes high.

“Is everyone here?” They heard Athena call. Buck and Y/N looked at her, wondering what this was about. “If you could all gather for a Christmas group photo on this side of the table.” 

People started to move around, walking to one side of the table for the photo. “Who’s gonna take the picture?” Chim asked. 

“Self-timer,” Bobby replied as he set the camera on a tripod. 

Y/N wanted to stand on the very edge of the photo. That’s where she belonged even when she knew these people well. It was only fitting. But a hand reached for her, pulling her. Her eyes found Buck pulling her more to the middle. He made her stand next to him. His arm wrapped around her lower back, pushing her closer to his body. Maddie was slightly bent forward with Chim. Eddie was next to Buck with Christopher standing in front of him.

It was a simple gesture. This proved she was part of the brave family that saved lives - 911 dispatchers, Firefighters, Paramedics and Police officers. First responders. 

“Everyone, say ‘Merry Christmas’!” Athena called. 

“Merry Christmas!” The whole group shouted as several photos were taken thanks to a self-timer. 

This was the first Christmas that felt nice. Last year, she was alone, back in her hometown, sad and depressed. She would laugh at people if someone told her that Christmas could be magical again. Look where she was now. 

Y/N took a deep breath to suppress her tears. This was not the time to cry. It was time to be joyful. 

“The camera will be available for anyone who wants to take a picture after dinner. Now, let’s eat before the bell rings,” Bobby ordered with a big smile. 

People started to mingle around, finding a place to sit. Maddie sat down next to Chim and called Y/N to sit beside her. Eddie, Chris and Buck walked around and sat across them. 

“I am starving,” Buck called. 

Peas were passed around. Mashed potatoes and a bowl of other vegetables and then cut portions of turkey and ham. People put anything they wanted on their plates. Laugher echoed around the firehouse as well as the sound of clinking dishes. 

The food was delicious. Y/N had to admit she had never had mashed potatoes that were this creamy and rich. The meat was juicy and perfectly marinated. Bobby did an excellent job, as she learnt from the people around her. 

“I’m gonna be in a food coma,” she commented after finishing her plate. “It was delicious.” 

“I told you. Bobby is like Guy Fieri,” Buck looked into her eyes.

Y/N felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She glanced at the screen. A sigh escaped her lips. It was a text from a relative who wrote to her for Christmas. The last thing she wanted was a message from them. She licked her lips and put the phone back. 

Maddie’s eyes were on her. She noticed the shift of energy from her friend. “Everything okay?” 

“Yes,” Y/N put a smile on her face. “Just got Christmas wishes.”

No more questions were asked. Good. She didn’t need people to feel sorry for her. She didn’t want to dwell on the past, no matter how hard or sad it was. 

As the party continued, and without any calls, people formed groups and talked. They eat the cookies or the punch cake. They drank water, juice or other non-alcoholic beverages. Now was the perfect opportunity to find a secluded spot to think for a moment. And that’s what Y/N did. 

She walked to the other side of the upper floor where no one was present. It gave her the space to be alone but not leave the party. All she needed was five minutes, maybe ten. Y/N took her phone out and looked at the text. It made her stomach twist and turn unpleasantly. No, she won’t react to the text. She won’t do anything about it. 

“Hey.” 

Her head snapped up from the phone. She quickly put it in her pocket again. “Hey, Buck.” 

“Y-you okay?” His steps stopped by her side. He leaned against the wooden bannister. His eyes looked around the firehouse. The engines were parked, waiting to be taken on a call. Boy, he hoped they wouldn’t have to leave anytime soon. 

“Uh, yeah,” she smiled at him. “I’m just checking with my relatives. That’s all.” It was a half-truth. 

“Come on, we’re friends. We’ve known each other for months. You don’t have to pretend or lie. Is everything okay, Y/N?” His body turned to face her. 

She opened her mouth, then closed it. How could she tell him about her life? She hated going back in the past, reliving the memories that had happened. “Uh, it’s a little complicated,” she said. “Last Christmas, I spent it alone, back in my hometown. It was a challenging year. Tragic, I dare to say.” 

Buck’s hand appeared on her shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “Okay, I’m not gonna push-”

“It’s okay,” she jumped in. “My father passed away 2 years ago - prostate cancer. It happened after Christmas.” 

“Oh, sorry about that,” he sighed. “You and your mom must-”

“I’m not in contact with my mother,” she said. “Or I’m not trying to be. Our relationship is bad. Let’s leave it like that for now.” 

She could see in Buck’s eyes he wanted to ask. His lower lip trembled. One nod of his head, he decided to let it go. “You’ve spent last Christmas alone?” 

“Yeah, I didn’t feel like celebrating. I felt lost and not festive. Now, it’s different. I feel like I belong somewhere again.” Y/N looked at the people at the table. They laughed, chatted and enjoyed the rest of the food. 

“You are with us, now. You are part of this big heroic family. We get to save lives, some of us risk our own and feel like heroes for a moment,” he laughed. 

“Like I said before, I like I’m doing something meaningful. No matter how mentally challenging this job is. I can’t even imagine what it’s like for you.” Y/N turned to him. Her elbow rested against the bannister. Her head tilted to the side. “You go in the field, risk your life. Hope to survive and then do it again.” 

He chuckled. “Yeah. Some days it’s easier than others. But, I wouldn’t change this work for anything. I love my job. I love what I’m doing.” 

She nodded. “I get it. I do. I love my job, too. It was the best decision to…” Her speech faltered when her eyes noticed Maddie on the other side of the room, making weird faces at her. At first, she made kissy faces. Then she pointed with her finger up. 

Y/N’s eyes lifted just as Buck turned his head to see what was happening behind his back. There was a mistletoe above them. It was one of the many that hung around the firehouse. Buck looked back at Y/N and saw her attention above them. Now, he too discovered the mistletoe. 

He chuckled under his nose. “I don’t think I’ve noticed that.” 

She shook her head in disbelief. “I didn’t either.” Her cheeks got warmer and she bit her lip nervously. “But I recall I’ve seen a few around the place when we arrived.”

Buck made a small step to her, a smile never leaving his face. He cleared his throat. “You know the rules, right?” 

“Uh, enlighten me,” she said. 

“Well,” he licked his lips. “It’s all just superstition, but it is said that if the people don’t just kiss under the mistletoe, they’ll get one year of bad luck.” 

That made her laugh. “Oh, is that right?” 

He took another step closer. The gap between them closing. His eyes travelled around her face - her eyes, her nose and then her lips. “You don’t want a year of bad luck, do you?” 

“I don’t.” 

“Good.” His hand lifted to her face and he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. He was so close now. She could feel his body heat radiating from him. “Well, now you’re gonna have to kiss me then.” 

She made a face, trying to hold back her laughter. Her eyes locked on his. “Or maybe you’ll have to kiss me,” she dared back. 

He was surprised by that response, by her boldness. “If that’s what you want,” he whispered. One of his hands found the back of her neck as he gently pulled her closer to his body. Slowly, their lips connected in their first, gentle kiss. 

They tested the waters. At first, it was light as a feather, lips barely touching. Then, the second time their lips pressed together, it was bolder, proper. Her hands slowly crawled up his chest and wrapped around his neck as the third kiss got more heated. His tongue swiped over her lower lip, asking for entrance. She did. Their tongues collided, explored and danced together. 

Y/N didn’t want the kiss to end. His arms, the hold he had on her was what she needed. His kisses were what she secretly dreamt of. However, a higher power, or in other words, his co-workers had a different plan. 

Shouting and clapping echoed from the other side of the level. Their kiss broke when they heard the cheering. Y/N pressed her forehead against his uniform, blushing. With that scene, everyone was looking at them now. 

Buck turned his head, glaring at everyone. “Way to ruin the moment,” he huffed. 

When Y/N pushed her body from him and looked at the people, she noticed Maddie giving her thumbs up. “Your sister is gonna be insufferable now and I mean it affectionately.” 

“Uh, what now?” Buck looked at her. 

She shook her head, laughing awkwardly. Y/N waved a hand. “So, no bad luck now, huh?” 

His hand moved to her warm cheek. A thumb brushed the skin under her eye. “Yeah. I guess the bad luck was avoided, thanks to me.” 

Y/N snorted. “So, you are basically taking the credit, huh?” 

“It was me who kissed you,” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes playfully. “Of course, what was I expecting?” This silliness between them was adorable. 

Buck leaned in some more. He inhaled her scent, enjoying the vanilla perfume she wore. “Maybe you should thank me for saving you from a year of bad luck,” he hummed. His nose brushed against her. 

A gentle nod. A whisper of “okay”. She leaned more, their lips meeting again in another kiss. One of his hands appeared on the small of her back, pulling her flush against him. The kiss deepened. A soft moan escaped her lips.

The bell began to ring again. It was another call and the firefighters had to respond. Buck pulled away. “Wait till we are back?” 

“O-okay,” she nodded eagerly and watched him run downstairs with the rest of his team. Christmas or not, they were at work and were needed somewhere more. 

Y/N licked her lips. Her eyes were locked on the fire engine until it was out of sight. Her mind was clouded by the feeling of Buck’s lips on her. The way he held her, how he made her feel. This was a dream, right? 

“Y/N,” Athena’s voice brought her back from the cloud. There was a smirk on her lips. “I’m not gonna ask questions about what happened here, but I’m gonna do is invite you to our New Year’s party. Bobby and I decided to leave this year with a bang.” Before Y/N could reply, she added, “Buck’s gonna be there.” 

Her cheeks warmed up again. “Thank you for inviting me. I guess I can change my traditional plans for a party with you all.” 

Athena raised a brow. “What are your traditional plans?” 

“Watching TV, eating food and falling asleep before midnight,” Y/N chuckled. 

“My kind of evening,” Athena patted her shoulder. 

Together they walked back to the table where the friends and family members talked. “I used to party when I was younger,” said Y/N. “That changed with age. The moment I turned 21, it was like the magic disappeared. Since then, I’m not a party girl.” 

Athena handed her a phone. “Give me your number. I still want the recipe for that delicious punch cake. Plus, I want you to show me how to bake it.” 

Two hours later, half of the people left. Karen took Denny home with Christopher and his aunt. Michael took May and Harry to his place. Maddie, Athena and Y/N cleaned up the place. They put the remaining food into the containers. Y/N cleaned the dishes with Maddie and Athena cleared the table. 

“So,” Maddie grinned at Y/N. “Everyone saw you kissing my brother.” 

“Your brother kissed me,” she fought back with a smile. “It was the mistletoe.” 

Maddie rolled her eyes. “If it were just the mistletoe, you wouldn’t be making out like that. It was the push you needed.” 

“Maddie, let the girl be,” Athena chimed in. 

“Come on. Don’t say you don’t support this,” Maddie sighed. “It’s adorable.” 

“Oh, I’m rooting for Buckoo and Y/N. But everyone saw this intimate moment between them which can be a bit embarrassing. So, let them figure things out first.”

Y/N sighed. “You are talking as if I’m not here.” 

After the place was clean and all three women remained at the station alone, Y/N checked the time. “I promised Buck to wait for him, but I should get going. Will you drive me home, please?” she looked at Maddie. 

The brunette nodded. They said goodbye to Athena, who was already on her way out of the station. Both women grabbed their belongings just as the firetrucks returned to the station. 

Maddie smiled at Y/N. “We’ll meet in the car, okay? Take your time. I’m gonna grab Chim for a minute too.” 

Y/N stood on the lower floor, watching as they parked all the vehicles. Bobby was already out, coordinating the parking. He raised his hand to signal the drivers to stop. His head turned to the woman. 

“Hey, Y/N,” he smiled. “You still here?” 

“We just finished cleaning the kitchen to take some work off your shoulders,” she said. “Leftovers are in the fridge, as well as the punch cake. It’s better when it is chilled. Cookies are on the counter.” 

Eddie and Buck left the engine together. Smiles were plastered over their faces until they noticed Y/N and Bobby talking. Well, Buck’s smile got even bigger. “You still here?” Eddie asked. 

“I was just about to leave.” 

“Thank you for coming here and celebrating Christmas with us,” said Bobby. He hugged her. The gesture was sweet. 

Eddie came in next, wrapping his arms around her. “Loverboy wants to talk,” he whispered. It made her laugh. “Merry Christmas.”

Once she was free, Buck approached her. His hand reached forward. Y/N grabbed it and let him take her to a secluded part of the firehouse. They didn’t need any more eyes on them. 

“I guess I came just in time,” he smiled. 

“Everyone already left and it’s getting late,” she replied, holding his hand. Buck never let go.

“Listen,” he pulled her closer to him. “I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me tomorrow evening if you are available?” 

“I’d love that,” she nodded. The smile on her face was the brightest Buck had ever seen. God, could he get any more smitten with her? His heart wanted to escape out of his chest. “My shift ends at 6 PM. Where do we meet?” 

“Your place,” he said. “I’ll be the perfect gentleman. I’ll pick you up at eight. You’ll have enough time to get ready after work. I’ll take you to a nice restaurant where we’ll wine and dine. Then, we can take a walk and after I’ll safely bring you back home.” 

She bit her lower lip, trying to keep herself composed. “Sounds lovely. I can’t wait.” 

“Great. Great,” he nodded.

They stood there, eyes staring into one another. For a few seconds, they didn’t do anything. It was a bit awkward. Buck decided to take the step. His right hand pressed gently against her cheek. He stepped towards her and leaned to kiss her lips. It was simple and sweet. Her hands brushed against his chest. 

Buck pulled away first. “Damn, you should go. Otherwise, I won’t let you.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes, grinning. “Okay, firefighter Buckley. I’ll see you tomorrow at eight. I can’t wait.” 

“Me too.” 

Reluctantly, their touch disconnected and Y/N walked away from the station. Again, the smile that decorated her face signified nothing but pure happiness. Her head was again on cloud nine, thinking about his lips. She almost bumped into Maddie’s car. 

Y/N hopped into the car, meeting Maddie’s curious eyes. “What?” she asked. 

Maddie made a face. “Well? How did it go?” 

“We…” Y/N took a deep breath. “We are going on a date tomorrow evening.” 

“Yes!” Maddie shouted excitedly. “I’m so glad things are finally moving between you two. Ah. And I am not feeling bad that I meddled between you,” she clapped her hands. 

Y/N shook her head in disbelief. “Do I wanna know what you mean by that?” 

“I’ll tell you some other time,” Maddie giggled. 

She started the car and drove Y/N back to her apartment. Looking back at the day, it was indeed the most wonderful time of the year. 

[rampagingpoet]

Random Number Tables were a fairly common technique in the days when CPU processing was expensive and memory accesses were inexpensive. Even a fairly simple pseudo-RNG that's just using a little bit of addition, multiplication, and division could be slow and expensive for early computer games. Random Number Tables on the other hand take one memory access and one addition most of the time. That could be significantly faster, and the repetition when the table looped was rarely relevant in normal play.

This technique is even still in use sometimes, especially when a very large number of random numbers are needed or on resource-constrained devices. Particle systems that need to render 20,000 slightly different tiny little bits of fire often use a fixed lookup table. Dragon Quest IX used different random tables for different purposes; a trick to guarantee rare drops from bosses and crafting used out-of-combat healing results to manipulate "Random Table B".

Using a pair of tiny RNGs is weirder, but still plausible. I can think of three reasons why The Elder Scrolls: Arena might have used that technique.

First, as imsobadatnicknames2 mentioned, adding multiple smaller dice creates a bell curve. It's possible the devs wanted that. Generating multiple small, uniformly-distributed random numbers may have been a more performant way to generate bell curves than generating them directly given computing resources at the time.

Secondly, picking good numbers for an RNG is hard. You need to make sure it's actually generating the distribution you expect - in this case that 1s aren't more common than 5s or vice-versa - and you need to make sure it's not going to get stuck in a small portion of your sample space. Choosing a very tiny range for the RNG probably made it easier to check the output by hand. d6s and d7s are a small enough range they could probably just print off 1000 random numbers from each RNG and check them in the course of an afternoon.

Third, never underestimate the desire to re-use code you already have instead of writing something new. It's totally possible they wrote everything for d6s at first, then realized they needed a d7 somewhere, and finally when they needed even more numbers they just smushed the d6s and d7s together instead of inventing a bespoke d32 or creating a generic dAnything function.

(My workplace has a "document export" that just runs the "print single document" function 80 times in a row or whatever under the hood - we could probably have written a faster export, but just calling the print document function in a loop took less of our time.)

I'd have to see the source code itself to narrow it down.

My favorite part about the fucked up code of Elder Scrolls Arena is that all RNG in the game is actually handled in the form of a sum of d6s (except instead of 1-6 they're numbered 0-5) and d7s (except instead of 1-7 they're numbered 0-6). Anytime it needs to generate random numbers in any other range it is handled as a sum of these dice. For example, to get a random number from 0 to 10 it will make two 0-5 d6 rolls.

If it's a range that can't be exactly expressed as a sum of d6s and d7s, it will simply approximate the closest it can to the desired upper limit and just reroll if it gets a value outside of the range it wants. For example, if it needs a random number from 0 to 16 it will add together three 0-6 dice rolls for a range of 0-18 and reroll if it rolls a 17 or 18.

[mammoth-clangen]

So, first off, as a paleontologist… thank you for that rant. It’s been driving me up the wall that people are going “oh look we revived the dire wolf using gray wolves!!” Even if you ignore the whole issue of de-extinction wolves aren’t even the closest living relative! Jackals and African wild dogs are more closely related to it, and they aren’t anywhere close to being in the same genus.

And of course, de-extinction is a whole other issue. Why are they so focused on the mammoth? At least the thylacine went extinct about a hundred years ago so the niche could still be there. But still, why focus on them? If you want to de-extinct something, why not focus on, oh I don’t know, the northern white rhino which still has two living members for sequencing and who have a living subspecies.

And further more, it’s genuinely cruel to bring most of these back. You think a wooly mammoth that lived in the last glacial maximum would be happy in todays climate that is consistently getting hotter? You think the dodo would appreciate the fact that it’s one habitat has been mostly destroyed? You think the thylacine would enjoy trying to outcompete the dingos that have moved into its niche? No. They wouldn’t.

For the mammoths, it’s especially cruel since they are herd animals and you’d need to clone a lot of them at one time for them to be happy.

And I mean, look. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to see these creatures alive. As unlikely as it is, I keep a sliver of hope that the thylacine might still be out there. But that doesn’t mean de-extinction is good. Like it or not, they went extinct for a reason. Yes, that reason may be because of humans, but it is still a reason. You bring them back and they’ll go extinct again unless they are given extreme protection.

They need to focus on living creatures or, if they are desperate to bring something that’s completely extinct back, focus on creatures that have gone extinct within the last two decades.

Ugh, sorry for the mini rant but as someone who understands extinction (including the current Anthropocene mass extinction), bringing things back is not the way to go. I can point to multiple genuses that went extinct for a good reason.

Hello fellow palaeontologist! 🤝 My area of study was actually Dromornithid ichnotaxonomy but carnivorans are holding me hostage nowadays, it seems...

Unfortunately, you have fallen prey to another (thankfully, less insidious) piece of misinformation! Dire wolves aren't wolves, but they are no more closely related to Jackals or African Wild Dogs!

Aenocyon is an outgroup to all wolf-like canids, jackals included!

I've seen the Aenocyon/Lupulella/Lycaon relatedness touted often, and am guilty of repeating it myself before I re-read the paper.

A possible reason for this confusion that African jackals are considered the most basal of the extant, wolf-like canids; as seen on the cladogram above.

Therefore, the ~5.7million year old common ancestor of Aenocyon and the wolf/jackal/dhole lineage would likely have looked more like a jackal. Then Aenocyon convergently evolved a very wolfish skeleton because of their similar lifestyles!

This is also why I chose to reconstructed my Aenocyon with a shoulder patch, seeing many canids seem to have some sort of cape marking.

The 2021 paper that concluded the dire wolf isn't a wolf at all, is unfortunately paywalled :/ Without full access to the paper it's hard to be sure exactly where Aenocyon fits within the larger Canidae family tree (if they discussed it at all), but the abstract describes them as having "an early New World origin".

It seems they were a true outgroup to modern wolf-like canids, being the earliest branching member of Canina! They're not too different from sabercats, in that way.

Also if anyone is following the ongoing edit war on the Dire Wolf Wikipedia page, I beg you to ignore the "taxonomy based on morphology" section. It is only useful as a historical reference for how we used to view Aenocyon dirus as Canis dirus for a long time. Current science supports these morphological similarities being convergent, contrary to what Colossal Lies are being told...

---

I already partially addressed Mammoths (and the issues with their herds inbreeding) in this other ask, but I do agree completely with your points.

Having the GMO wolves raised without another older wolf or dog parental figures is frankly, just cruel. Any vet will tell you hand-reared and imprinted animals are significantly more prone to behavioural issues down the line. Mammoths would be worse again, because unlike Romulus and Remus, there is no chance of even having a twin to keep them company.

And yes; What could possibly go wrong with bringing back a polar-adapted, woolly proboscidean, into a world where even winters are getting progressively warmer?

I too, would love to see extinct animals in the wild. I'd be lying if I said I don't secretly hope for many of them to pull a coelacanth on us. But sadly, I don't think that's likely, and nor do I think we should be trying to make it happen.

---

Hank Green brought up something poignant about this dire wolf debacle, which is that extinction is not as simplistic as we imagine it to be. It's not just the death of a species.

"It's the destruction of a space in the natural environment for a species."

And that is really it, you can't just "bring back" an extinct species, because you aren't bringing their niche back with them.

Successful reintroductions of species that were locally extirpated or made entirely extinct in the wild have only worked because effort was put into securing a niche and ecosystem that had been lost.

And even well-planned, well-funded reintroductions struggle, but at least they understood the assignment.

Colossal, on the other hand, seems to think that adding back their very-roughly-wolf-shaped 'jenga block' to the ecosystem 'tower' will completely stop the collapse. But the real 'collapse' is caused by habitat destruction, and no amount of GMO wolves, mammoths or thylacines can stop that.

Bringing the species in to save the ecosystem is climbing ass-first up a tree. We need to save the ecosystem for the species. And all this is still ignoring the sad truth for a lot of extinct animals:

For many of them, there is no 'tower' to save.

[90slavenderh4ze]

“if i ever go to azkaban, will you still write to me?” - sirius black

pairing: bit of marauders era!sirius black x reader in the beginning, post azkaban!sirius black x reader mainly.

summary: a dumb joke he made in seventh year. you didn’t think it would become your reality. you wrote him every week anyway. he never replied. now he’s back.

warnings: none that i can think of; slight angst, hurt/comfort, soft ending.

a.n: finally wrote something after over a month lol had to be post azkaban!sirius.

He had said it like a joke. Of course he had.

The fire had been low that night in the Gryffindor common room, casting honey-colored flickers on his cheekbones, and he’d been bored—lazy-limbed and draped over the arm of the couch like a prince exiled from his own throne. James had been arguing about something, Remus trying to shush him with a book pressed to his chest, and Sirius—he had looked at you. That stupid, sharp-eyed grin crawling across his face.

“If I ever go to Azkaban, will you still write to me?”

You’d scoffed, not bothering to look up from your book. “Only to gloat.”

“Cruel,” he said, dramatically clutching his chest. “Heartless. I bare my soul and this is what I get.”

“You’re not baring anything. You’re being an idiot.”

He had leaned in, just a little. Close enough that you could see the mischievous glint in his grey eyes, the hint of something softer tucked beneath it—something too fragile for a boy like him to admit. “So you’re saying you would write.”

You rolled your eyes, but your fingers had gone still on the page. “Don’t flatter yourself, Black.”

“You’re not denying it.”

“Goodnight, Sirius.”

“Goodnight, love.”

It was nothing. A throwaway moment between teenagers who didn’t know anything about war or loss or cages of cold iron and madness.

And yet, you remembered it.

You remembered it the morning the news broke. The headlines burned themselves into your vision:

Twelve Dead. One Man Responsible. Sirius Black Arrested. No Trial.

You remembered it when you held the letter in shaking hands, rereading it as if the words might reorder themselves into something that made sense.

You remembered it as you sat on the floor of your flat, back against the kitchen counter, and wrote your first letter with a hand that wouldn’t stop trembling.

November 2nd, 1981

Dear Sirius,

What the fuck happened?

No signature. No softness. Just raw disbelief.

You didn’t think he’d get it. You hadn’t even known if they let prisoners receive mail in Azkaban. But you sent it anyway.

And then you wrote another. And another.

Every week. Rain or shine. War or no war.

You didn’t stop.

—

By the third year, your letters had changed. Less fury. Less confusion. Just little updates. Things he wouldn’t care about. Things you needed to say.

March 18th, 1984

I saw a dog today. Big. Black. Shaggy fur. I almost thought…

Never mind.

Hope the Dementors don’t get in your head too much this week. Bastards.

You joked sometimes. Sometimes you cried. Sometimes you wrote three sentences and tore up four pages before settling on the fifth.

October 31st, 1986

I lit a candle for James and Lily.

Harry looks so much like James. He’s even got the same shitty smirk when he knows he’s being clever. He has Lily’s eyes though.

Still, no response.

The owl came back empty every time. But you kept writing.

You didn’t even know why anymore.

—

Years passed.

You stopped telling people you were doing it. Remus had disappeared after the war. The Order scattered. Nobody really checked on each other anymore. You learned to make your peace with silence.

Until Dumbledore wrote to you. Until the words Sirius Black has escaped Azkaban landed in your lap like a ghost resurrected.

You didn’t know what to think. The Prophet screamed murder, but your hands didn’t shake with fear. They shook with hope.

That hope almost killed you.

And then—one night, long after the world had gone quiet again— him.

Stepping in like death incarnate. Pale. Hollow. Wild-eyed and soaked to the bone, like he’d swum through every nightmare just to knock on your door.

You didn’t speak at first. Just stared at him.

He looked like a man on the edge of disappearing.

“Sirius?”

His throat moved when he swallowed. “Hi.”

Your breath caught, and you crossed the room without thinking. Hands on his face, fingertips tracing the hollows beneath his cheekbones like you were trying to map the years that had stolen him. “You’re real.”

He laughed, soft and dry and a little broken. “Barely.”

And then you pulled him in.

You held him like he might collapse, because he might’ve. You felt the ribs through his shirt, the way his heart pounded beneath thin layers of muscle and fear and grief. He didn’t speak. Didn’t pull away. Just let himself breathe you in like it hurt.

When you finally let go, he looked at you like he was afraid to ask what came next.

“I got your letters,” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

You stared. “You… what?”

“They didn’t let me keep them. But they let me read them. Once a week. Maybe to mock me. I don’t know. I read every single one.”

You stepped back, blinking hard. “You never replied.”

He shook his head, eyes cast low. “Didn’t know how. Didn’t think I deserved to.”

“Sirius.”

“I thought I was protecting you.”

You laughed, bitter and breathless. “You were rotting in a cell, and you thought you were protecting me?”

He looked up. “I didn’t want you to wait for a dead man.”

Your voice cracked. “I wasn’t waiting. I was remembering.”

The silence between you stretched, full of ghosts.

“I thought about you,” he said, quietly. “All the time. More than anything else. You were… the only thing that didn’t fade.”

You didn’t say anything. Just walked over to the desk and opened a drawer.

He froze.

You pulled out a box. Set it down. Opened it.

Inside: copies of every letter you’d ever sent.

“You kept them.”

You nodded. “I didn’t want to forget what it felt like to believe in something.”

His voice wavered. “You believed in me?”

“I still do.”

He didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. You thought he might shatter.

“Tell me I’m not too late,” he whispered.

You stepped forward and placed his hand over your heart.

“Feel that?”

He nodded.

“You never left.”

And that was it. The dam broke.

He kissed you like he’d been starved of warmth for twelve years. Like you were the only thing he remembered how to want. You held him like you’d been waiting a lifetime, because you had.

You’d never meant to wait.

But you had.

And now—finally—he was here.

Not a ghost.

Not a memory.

Real.

Yours.

[icantbelieveitsnotbutler]

The Power of Friendship and Perseverance

I keep thinking about how Sebastian and Ciel are technically protagonists of a shounen manga, but seem to totally reject the themes that I've come to expect from the genre.

Manga spoilers.

Shounen protagonists typically learn the power of friendship/human bonds: the idea that our connections with others can give us access to strength we wouldn't have on our own.

In fact, Ciel and Sebastian have learned the power of friendship; they just don't think it applies to them. They've seen Agni and Soma, the Weston students, and Sullivan and Wolfram find strength in their bonds to work hard and improve themselves.

But that's for other people. In Sebastian's eyes, the power of friendship applies only to humans: demons are not capable of the emotions required to form those bonds.

And Ciel believes he can only allow himself to view other people as tools.

Becoming attached to others will only hurt him, either by distracting him from his goal of revenge or because his life as the queen's watchdog will inevitably endanger anyone who gets too close.

Another common shounen theme they reject is perseverance in the face of defeat.

Both Ciel and Sebastian know the value of hard work. Sebastian works tirelessly to be the best butler and help Ciel get revenge in order to fulfill his own aesthetics and achieve his goal of eating Ciel's soul. Ciel worked his way up from a traumatized orphan into a distinguished and successful earl, business owner, and watchdog.

But neither of them are willing to continue if they think they're going to lose. They've seen people accomplish great feats and find satisfaction in trying, despite the certainty of defeat.

But Ciel and Sebastian don't see the point in fighting if there's no chance of success.

The manga isn't over yet, so there's still a chance either of them might change, but I find their persistent refusal to be proper shounen protagonists charming.

[23fallencomets]

Like the Nail in your Tire

logan talks with the media after Zandvoort free practice and drops two announcements

Crashing is never a good feeling, especially when your car burst into flames directly after. There was slight embarrassment that lingered afterwards as he’s ushered out of the flaming car and towards where the medics are on standby.

Once he’s at the paddock, and had taken a photo with a kid, laughing as Elias cracks a joke, he finds himself in the media pen, fiddling with the straw of his bottle. It’s the same beady eyes, bored and just left of looking annoyed that out of everyone, it was Logan they had to interview.

Jokes on them, Logan thinks, this is the last time I have to do this.

“What happened out there?” One of them finally asked, “That was an avoidable mistake.”

Logan shrugs, “Of course it was, it was completely on me, I apologize to my team.”

Truth was that some sort of pettiness sprouted in him, the email he had gotten earlier that week planting a seed he couldn’t drown if he tried. He knew better, knew to lift and instead pressed down hard until he spun. He can blame it on the sudden panic, knows that Gaeten will back him up.

They both know what this means anyway.

“Do you think the car will be ready by qualifying?”

“God willing, but probably not, which again, my fault, we’re tight on parts as it is, obviously the crash didn’t help.” He says, “It’s not like it’s going to happen again.”

Like bait at the end of the hook, he waits until he can see it click, their heads snapping up towards him.

“I won’t be part of Williams Racing after Zandvoort.” He clarifies, deciding to throw protocol to the wind. His press officer stares at him, mouth gaping before she snaps it shut, whatever training she had leaving her as Logan continues; he half heartedly pats her arm in apology.

“We decided to part ways earlier this week, the announcement is supposed to go up before Monza, but y’know why wait.” He says with a smile, he had come to terms with it all when Carlos was announced and the subsequent call Carlos tried to give him.

“Is it because of what Marcus Ericsson said?” Another reporter asks. Ah, that was a fun conversation, but to Marc’s defense, Kyle hadn’t told him not to say anything and well, it was common knowledge around the team that Logan and James were on less than ideal terms.

“Well I can’t tell you guys everything,” He teases, “I’m still under an NDA, but it expires in like, 5-6 years so I’ll talk then.” He leans in and they lean forward, hanging onto his words as he pulls out his silver chain; a golden ring hangs from it, barely eligible numbers inscribed in the inside.

“This means I get to spend more time with my partner!” The reporters seem to go even more slack jawed as he continues, “I do have a few things lined up later in the year though, this might be the last weekend you’ll see me here though, can’t say I’ll miss it.”

His press officer finally snaps into action, “Okay—that’s, fuck, that’s enough, let’s go.” She pulls him away and he laughs, free and relieved as he slips the golden band on.

“I’m so getting fired.” She muttered, shaking her head as she navigates them back to the hospitality.

Logan only grins, his smile widening when Elias gives him a disbelieving look, pride shining in his eyes as a furious James Vowles storms towards him.

It could only get better from here, Logan thinks amusedly as he’s once again whisked away by an angry team principal.

☆☆☆

“You’re so annoying.” Oscar mumbles when he crashes onto the bed next to Logan, showered, dressed and more than ready for bed.

His husband grins at him, wild and happy, the stress finally washed away as he presses kisses to Oscar’s water-warm skin. Oscar can’t help the satisfied hum when Logan finally kisses him, their hands interlaced and their rings clicking against each other.

Logan has the remainder of the summer to tie up contracts with whoever he signed with for next year, for now though, he’s all Oscar’s as sleep slips from him in order to make room for whatever Logan has in store for them.

married loscar, who would’ve thought! anyway, this is part of that one anon prompt with established loscar, except this is before that takes place since obviously logan got dropped, fucks around in indycar, then comes back a few years later which is when the actual prompt comes in play.

logan was supposed to be a whole lot more aggressive but then i felt bad for the fictional reporters so i made him silly instead :D

[borderline-culture-is]

Not a "culture-is" but I feel like it's important. As someone with Quiet BPD an who grew up in an abusive environment, I wish I knew what Emotional Self Harm is and how to recover from it sooner. I still struggle with it today because I'd never heard about it until now.

This is sort of an informational ask, trying to reach the people who might be doing this. Emotional SH is real, it is real Self Harm. You are valid, just because people can't physically see your pain doesn't make it real. You're not harming yourself less than people who cut themselves, you deserve resources to heal too.

Emotional Self Harm looks like:

Punishing yourself by

Not eating food because you made a mistake/did something wrong

Not allowing yourself self care until a specific condition is met (ex. "I can't eat food until I brush my teeth first." when you don't have the energy to brush your teeth in the first place, so you never eat)

Calling yourself names like "selfish", "brat", "stupid" repeatedly after a mistake

Making yourself spiral into emotional distress after a mistake

And much more.

Here's a healthline article I found, sorry I can't imbed it on anon

https://www.healthline.com/health/emotional-self-harm#causes-and-risk-factors

No one talks about this. No one takes it seriously. It's genuine self harm. One of the (many) diagnostic criterias for BPD is the tendencies (not required, but common) is self harm. I never counted this for myself because I've never cut myself or burnt myself, but I've basically become my abuser.

It's hard to break free from self harm, but it is possible. The link provides ways you can reprogram the way you think about yourself.

From the article itself:

"Causing yourself intentional emotional distress is emotional self-harm. It can come in the form of harmful behaviors, self-criticism, and skewed self-perception.

However, you can change emotional self-harm behaviors. Psychotherapy can help identify underlying causes. It can teach you to recognize unhelpful thought patterns and how to shift them to beneficial ones."

I'm sending this with the hopes that someone will read this and realize they've been hurting themselves. If that's you, the reader right now, you're not alone and you're not 'unfixable'. There are ways to help, and if you have a good support system, tell them how they can help encourage you.

If you (mod) post this, thank you. If you don't, I understand, it's not really related to BPD at all. Thank you for taking the time to consider either way

- 🌌🐇

.

[recurring-polynya]

Man, I wonder what people in the outer Rukon think about shinigami captains.

Obviously, they are known to some degree in the low-numbered districts. Ganju declares Byakuya to be the "most famous of the 13 captains," suggesting that he has a full set of their trading cards. Jidanbou also recognized Gin on sight, but again, he's sort of like a Gotei 13 hourly contractor.

On the other hand, in Episode 312, the one where Oomaeda lies to some children so they think he's a captain, none of the adults in whatever district he's in call him on his bullshit. Presumably, they aren't even that far out, since he was napping there in the middle of a workday and the children are later able to travel to the Seireitei with little difficulty. Obviously, though, the roster of current captains doesn't seem to be common knowledge*, or even the fact that a captain ought to be wearing a haori and accompanied by an adjutant.

*Insert renji_matsumoto_who_is_your_captain_again dot jpg

Anyway! I don't care about the inner districts, where you can still probably get a copy of the Seireitei Communication and the Hanbantai Players occasionally darken the Bonnaroo lineup.

Rukongai is a big place and contrary to popular opinion, it is not the mandate of the shinigami to protect it. Upwards into the double digits,most people have probably never seen a shinigami, and even if they have, their understanding of what shinigami are capable of ranges from incomplete to wildly inaccurate. Imagine being a kid from District 58 or so who gets saved from being eaten by a Hollow and is thus inspired to shoot your shot at the Academy. At what point does someone reveal that person whose sword made you pass out was no one. That there are tiers of people above them, and at the very top are people who come with their own gravity wells. Some day, "captain" will just mean "weird, very dramatic personage who signs your paycheck and doesn't remember your name", but the first time you see one, and your entire peripheral vision goes black? Whew!

They have to know about shinigami captains out in the deep Rukon, though, because they are the stuff that folk legends are made out of. Some are heroic, some are monstrous, most are both. Occasionally a Rukongai district manages to spit out a captain--do they have any memory of him? Is there a notion of hometown pride, regardless of the fact that no one bears any love for the hometown, certainly not him? Certain names are common among shinigami captains, so it's not always clear which Shihouin-taichou a given tale belongs too, but maybe it's also not important. Captains are long-lived, and it's hard to know if the one from your favorite drinking song kicked the bucket centuries ago, or if she gets a fit of the sneezes every time your pub mates are feeling musical. There are some captains that show up in Rukon-stories whose names don't appear in any sort of official records, and it's a matter of speculation which ones are fully apocryphal and which ones might simply be an epithet and for whom?

(Unohana. They are nearly always about Unohana).

[dovahfr]

A guide to exaltation

[I have had this in my drafts for 6 years apparently. Still think its an interesting bit of lore/headcanon so decided to let it be free as is.]

So, you’re a new priest, or the head of a new clan, or even about to be exalted yourself. You know exaltation to appease your god of choice is mandatory as a price for the territory, functioning nests, and magical offspring your clan will have but you have no idea how this all works. This is the guide for you! 

This guide will cover all flight customs but a lot of what happens is universal.

Note: Do not attempt the exaltation ritual unless you are a chosen priest/priestess or a progenitor dragon produced from the very god you are sending tribute to. Any other dragon attempting to do so or doing so without following proper procedure may result in misfortune including but not limited to large fines of treasure, scolding from a voice from above, refusal of further exalted services, infertility of the clan, or instant smiting of all involved in the ceremony. All gods are different and punishment will vary depending on your god’s disposition.

Step one: Notify the exalted guard

A few days before your ceremony, send a letter to the exalted guard of your deity letting them know ahead of time you are requesting to perform the ritual. They will not reply and you do not need to give them a time or date. They will know and an exalt will appear right on time to oversee the ceremony and guide the newly exalted back home.

Step two: Picking an exalt

Exalts normally come in three flavors. The most common choice is a young and impressionable member of a clan from another flight. They’ve just left their homes, likely thrown out for the small price of a few thousand treasure (the cheaper the better! You do receive compensation.) into the world to find their purpose with whoever paid such a price. These dragons are quite easy to indoctrinate into the beliefs of your own deity and to be convinced that serving them for all eternity is their ultimate destiny despite being born under the gifts of a different deity.

The second are members of your own clan who have been there long enough to know the honor it would be to become exalted. They may come to you one day asking for such and it is your duty to provide them with full ceremony as you would any other. It may sadden you to see them go, but remember that they likely won’t die in the process at the very least even if they lose all memory of you and all of their loved ones. Please note that at the point of requesting exaltation, they are now exempt from any and all forms of law enforcement during the time while they wait for their ritual. It is your duty as a priest to enforce this even if your clan leader wishes otherwise.

The third are the sick, dying, and recently deceased. Sometimes, a dragon’s body will fail it and the only hope they might have of recovery is through divine intervention. Those on death’s door make easy converts with the promise of recovery on the other end of it. Even if a dragon passes mid-ritual or in the wait time leading up to a ritual, their raw elemental energy once the body has been exalted will serve your deity well! Please note that the sending off of the souls of those who have been deceased for more than a few days is a completely different ceremony, though some deities (such as the plaguebringer) will accept much longer dead bodies than others.

Step three: Prepare your exalts

In the case of able-bodied dragons, you will want the strongest in your clan to take them out to battle beastclan and the like. Especially in the case of dominance wars and in preparation for festivals, your deity needs strong souls to help the effort. In addition, if your clan is short on treasure or seeks to expand their influence in the future then trained soldiers will bring you more treasure and influence within the exalted guard.

Despite physical training being nothing but a benefit to you and your clan, exaltation is relatively easy on the body. It is taxing more on the spirit and mind as your future exalt passes from the mortal to the exalted. Hatchlings especially must be mentally prepared for their exaltation. There are many ways you can help your future exalts to prepare, but the easiest ways are meditation and immersing themselves in the purest forms of your element.

If your lair happens to be of high enough status to be within a day’s walk of where your deity and exalted guard reside then make the walk with them there and back to help prepare them for the journey. Obviously this isn’t always the best idea, especially if your lair is on the far reaches of the elemental territory, but seeing the area and conversing with the exalted around it is one of the best ways to prepare.

You may also want to let your future exalts know what will become of them. Lie if you need to. The actual process of exaltation is extremely painful and they will forget everything and everyone they once loved. If you believe the truth would help them then let them know but those of weaker constitutions may be better off believing otherwise.

Step four: Prepare the ritual site

If you’ve already done an exaltation ritual before you should have minimal prep aside from gathering fresh materials as this area should be the shrine where your clan comes to place offerings on a regular basis. These instructions are for creating a brand new shrine for the ritual to be held in front of.

This step varies greatly for each and every flight as the elements and deity associated have different tastes and different domains. Be thorough. Doing this step or the next wrong may result in divine punishment!

For Earth clans:

Select a secluded area, preferably a cavern with gemstone deposits in the walls, and burn the ground to rid of any impurities and draw a circle in the dirt to mark your shrine. Clear the ash and begin gathering the finest geodes, raw metals, and quartz to place in a circular pattern around your cleared area. The best of these should be in one area and trail off around the perimeter until the entire circle is completely rounded out with stones and gems. Complete the shrine with an emblem of Earth and you have the bare minimum for a shrine. Earthshaker is a kinder deity and will not likely enact divine punishment should there be mistakes and the exalt helping with the ritual may even help you fix up your shrine!

For Wind clans:

Your shrine should be set up around a more populated area of your camp or even off the side of a trade route not far from your camp. The more dragons passing through the better! Wind shrines are typically very minimal, but do still require some setup. Use your own magic to sweep the area of impurities and clear a circle for your shrine. Set up a few small kites tied down to the ground but allowed to flow around with the wind in the area and place some sort of emblem of wind. This is the bare minimum but extra decoration of bamboo, more kites, or anything that will blow around in the wind are certainly appropriate to add at your discretion. Windsinger is not a very strict deity and your exalted sent to see over the ritual will not likely care too much about the state of your shrine as long as it’s in a populous area and has the emblem of wind somewhere.

For Fire clans:

In most fire clans, the shrine is within the same building as the smithy. Select an area with flowing lava nearby or at the very least a forge run on magma. Burn the ground thoroughly and make a circle of ash afterwards. Place a few tributes of metalworks with inlaid gemstones as fine as your clan can offer with an emblem of fire in the very center (this can be a cloth flag but be wary of it burning up, it may be better to have this on a metal panel). The rest of the circle should be lined in candles that should be constantly lit and replaced as soon as they burn out. The Flamebringer is strict on her followers but fear not as your exalt has been trained by the best and may be able to fix whatever is wrong before the ritual is to start.

For Water clans: 

The area for your shrine should be in the deepest water your clan has access to currently. Should a deeper area become available you will need to move it. If the area is stone, clear away any sand from it, but if it is sand then simply make sure there isn’t much debris around. Place the shiniest shells and pearls your clan has found in a circular pattern with the largest all piles in one spot. An emblem of water should be placed on top of this pile (you may need to place a large shell or stone on top of it to keep it from being pulled away with the tide).  If you are unable to make the shrine properly, the exalt summoned to watch over the ritual will already know this and will show up to help prepare it with you. If your exalt has not appeared the day before the ritual is to take place, they are confident that you are able to do so yourself.

[serviceable-mechanism]

Oh no you never learned how to argue :/

it seems like you’re getting irrationally upset so I’d advise you to calm down a little and try to see the conversation a little more clearly. Maybe check on your mother. As I previously clarified, I didn’t wear a condom the other night and I’m not sure if she’s hit menopause or not yet. Using basic media literacy skills that I learned in high school, I am easily able to tell the difference between a product simply stating where it was made, and one that focuses entirely on advertising its origin as a selling point. New York, notably, is not referred to as a Jewish holy land by anyone but the most insular and insufferable liberals, and my criticism of Israel was specifically from the lens of its relevance to the holiday in question. If you want to talk about colonial enterprise as a whole, that would require broadening the discussion. I think the existence of the British monarchy is also an affront to any belief in personal freedom or liberty. Happy? They’re just far less relevant to Pesach specifically

Ultimately, I feel like you’re ignoring the actual things I’m saying in favor of grasping at a vague sense of personal outrage. “Lmao even” Yes quite but I’ve yet to see anything you have said actually… contradict the statement. You may be laboring under the common playground belief that conservatism ends at the American Republican political party. If this is the case please let me know and I’d be happy to pick up where your primary education seemed to tragically fail you

It seems as though you are attempting to pick and choose between seeing our traditions as literal Christian gospel, and uncertain metaphor. As a bit of friendly advice, you’d be able to argue better if you chose one side over the other. Whether it’s an actual divine entity, or the vague and ultimately meaningless force of “tradition” you are still arguing without an argument. Believing that things must be a certain way because of historical precedent is probably an even more conservative stance than saying so because you heard a voice from above. Neither position is worthy of respect. Policies should be enacted if they will lead to greater degrees of human prosperity. Whatever you choose to call your justification otherwise, faith or forefathers, it is worthless in the face of real people.

I think you may have misunderstood me again. Israel (that is to say, the Israel of our faith, not the one in reality) can be broadly interpreted to mean the community and freedom of Jews worldwide. I have yet to see any compelling argument as to why it should be an actually physical country with a seat on world councils. To be sat beside the greatest colonial powers of history. Do you truly think so little of our people that we cannot aspire to a better path than that?

I’m sorry but I did say “church” and I meant “church.” Judaism may not have them but Israel might as well. This is hardly an important point to make, but you don’t really see the current existing country of Israel as a real representation of Judaism, do you? The country primarily funded by Christian nations, that allows Christian business owners to speed through their “conversion” and exists specifically due to a Christian belief in the end of days starting with the collective death of the Jewish people. I thought we were trying to engage seriously

I don’t care how you grew up. It clearly wasn’t with Jewish values. Just Jewish trivia. And that’s such a shame. Though I will admit, you made me laugh so that’s one thing to be proud of.

“breAd (dumbass can't even spell???!)”

Genuinely. This was very funny. I promise, when you’re older you’ll get the joke. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think her and I should go for another round

As passover rolls around again this year, i think it's a good opportunity to examine the fascinating interaction between capitalism's neverending drive towards profit seeking, and a product specifically designed to be unpleasant and unappetizing

Passover, for the unaware, is a time when (particularly strong willed) practicing Jews abstain from risen bread and a fair variety of other grain-based foodstuffs, and eat matzah in their place, to commemorate the historical suffering of the Jewish people. As such, matzah itself, the bread of affliction, is specifically intended to be, more or less, pretty bullshit. It's hard and nearly flavorless and cold and boring and nothing at all like warm soft beautiful sourdough bread my beloved (may we be reunited soon). As a result, attempting to sell matzah puts advertisers in a difficult position, presented with the task of making this horrible bullshit (i like the soup, okay?) look like something one would choose to eat outside of the confines of religious tradition

To commemorate this holiday, I'd like to look at a few of the approaches they have taken

Manischewitz

Right off the bat, we've got the brand recognition to carry this one through, and to be honest that's largely all a good box of matzah should need, considering the 99% of the time it will be bought out of obligation. Often considered to be the "autism of religions" Judaism is a faith that celebrates the importance of tradition above all else, so Manischewitz is going to have an advantage from jump. That said, I find the phrase "perfect for Passover" to be particularly redundant in this context. If you're Jewish, it hardly needs to be said, and if you're not, well, please eat something that tastes good instead

7/10

2. Manischewitz (again)

Here's where we hit our first roadblock. In addition to the brand name being sized down, thus lessening the advantage granted by cultural cache, this particular product makes what I would consider to be a rookie mistake. Onion flavoring. That is, they attempted to make matzah taste good. While tempting, this is ultimately an error. It's not supposed to taste good. It was designed and perfected by our most talented artisans for three thousand years to be be the culinary equivalent of watching paint dry. It is absolute hubris to believe yourself capable of turning that into an appetizing snacking treat with the addition of a little bit of onion powder

4/10

3. Streit's

In general, this one is not particular offensive in any direct sense. It has bold, bright colors, and a clear image of the product. I feel that "thin and crispy" is a particularly unnecessary addition, as, yeah man I should sure hope they are, and the addition of (light) salt edges this just a little closer to attempting to taste good, but these are relatively minor complaints. My true issue with this is the assertion that this matzah is meant to "pair with soups, spreads, and salads." This is false advertising

5/10

4. Yehuda Matzos

On the surface this appears to be a relatively inoffensive example, but the longer one looks, the more the cracks begin to show. The images present give off a particularly sickly yellow quality that makes them just a tad less appetizing than they already would be, and the description of them as "Matzo-Style Squares" really sells the unsettling quality of this whole display. And they're also gluten free. Yes, I know some people have dietary restrictions, but as far as I'm aware, most people who are gluten free already don't eat all that much bread anyways, and with the helpful acknowledgment that this particular product is "not a replacement for matzo at the Seder" as in the one time where actually eating the stuff is part of suggested tradition, I fail to see a scenario in which these things are consumed. It also, obviously, loses points for the "Imported from Israel" banner in the lower corner, though I'll get into that in a moment

3/10

5. Holyland

There is basically just the one advertising strategy being employed here. It's subtle, but with a keen eye I'm sure you can figure it out. The natural issue, of course, is that it's an inherently polarizing one. It positions itself such that one's political alignment is the only deciding factor in the decision to purchase it, and without other appealing characteristics, this is ultimately a losing strategy.

Obliviously, the primary issues here would be the ongoing genocide and human rights abuses, but as that's largely out of the scope of this particular post, I'd like to focus on how inappropriate a pro-Israel message is when it comes to the celebration of Passover specifically. Ultimately, the story of Passover is that of Jewish escape from bondage and slavery, leading to a forty-year of wandering through the desert looking for a home. That is, it is a celebration of the history of the Jewish people specifically as a diaspora. As the period of Jewish chattel slavery in Egypt is considered apocryphal from a modern lens, one should approach the narrative not as an earnest recounting of true events, but as a metaphor for the Jewish condition as a whole. And from this framework we understand the forty years in the desert searching for a homeland not to be a specific literal stretch of history, but instead a collective journey that the Jewish people undertake, to escape antisemitism broadly. Considering how antisemitism is alive and well to this day, one must come to the obvious conclusion that this is a journey we are still in the middle of. In addition to the fact that ethnostates as a whole are an evil endeavor, the idea that Israel should exist at all, is, from a Jewish perspective, incredibly hubristic and antithetical to the message Passover means to instill in us.

0/10

6. Streit's (again)

To lighten the tone somewhat, here we have something almost passable. Passover matzah. That's what it's for, that's what it is. And with what appears to be a depiction of the bitter herbs meant to be consumed alongside the matzah during a traditional Passover seder, this branding subtly hints at the clear implication: you are eating this because of your traditions. No attempt is made to make the matzah itself look good, and I respect that. That said, I balk at the idea of purchasing an entire five pounds of the stuff, but that inherent revulsion is in conflict with my desire to find out what exactly the "Passover game" enclosed inside entails.

7/10

7. Yehuda Matzos

I hate this. No, I will grant you, matzah is not supposed to be good. You are meant to long for the taste of bread. You need to want it. But, at the same time, there's no need to make it taste worse than it already does. It may be the bread of affliction, but, like, maybe not too afflicted, and I really think that making it whole wheat ruins my last shred of enjoyment of the stuff. This one's also from Israel

3/10

8. Streit's (again)

Go fuck yourself.

0/10

9. Rakusen's of Yorkshire

There's really a lot to say with this one. From the completely superfluous "vegan" sticker in the lower left hand corner (they're flour and water), to the helpful description of these as "crackers." There is just such a monumentally small target audience for this. I'm sure the population of British Jews excited to celebrate the coronation of King Charles with a holiday snack...exists, I don't imagine they're particularly numerous. Also, doing some research, King Charles' coronation took place on the sixth of May, 2023, while Passover of that year took place between the fifth and thirteenth of April. What event could this possibly be appropriate at? Having them for the coronation itself would mean eating matzah outside of the timeframe in which it is specifically necessary to do so (untenable), and having them for Passover of that year means saving this box in your pantry for a month so you can get questioning and uncomfortable looks from your friends and relatives during the Seder. Additionally, I really can't tell if I think it's antisemitic or just pretty funny that they thought a possibility of winning money was one of the best ways to advertise matzah.

1/10

10. Streit's (once again)

Finally. Now, here is something to be celebrated. Note the helpful yellow ribbon in the lower right corner, and the glaringly prominent "UNSALTED" staring us in the face. No salt, no flavoring, no bells, no whistles. There is nothing here to differentiate this particular product from any other box of matzah, except the specific advertising flourishes being utilized. And what flourishes would those be, precisely? "For each box of this matzah that goes unsold, a woman will die of breast cancer. This will be on you." That's right. Sure, you can rely on creative flavoring, to mask the taste of bitter affliction. You can offer cash prizes, nationalist posturing, or an appeal to tradition. But only Streit's is out here advertising their matzah the right way. The Jewish way. With guilt.

Buy our matzah. If you don't, you're a bad person.

10/10

[quibbs126]

You know, it’s sad to me that Peach Blossom basically got nothing

He was only given one short scene in the story, and he only talks to one character, that being Dark Cacao. And most of their interaction was about Peach Blossom giving him food and directions, with whatever character work being pretty much Dark Cacao centric. And how he’s left, he’s probably not relevant enough to ever bring back in another update, he’s just a guy tending to a peach bao garden

I mean sure, other playable characters have been relegated to short cameos, like Blueberry Pie, but in Blueberry Pie���s case, she already has Ovenbreak, in which I believe she did have a small story, and she has relationship charts. She has a whole other game of context, and it’s similar with Peppermint (though I never finished Mermaid’s Tale so I don’t know all his scenes), but with Peach Blossom being a CRK original, he doesn’t have that luxury

He doesn’t even have interactions with anybody right now in game, which could be changed later and they hopefully give him someone else to talk to other than Dark Cacao, but as it stands he’s got nothing other than saying a Cake Hound bit him or that the thing on his head isn’t a peach

Heck, there are NPCs who have had more characterization in stories than him. Yes one of those is Smoked Cheese, but still

It’s almost like no wonder he just gets lumped in with Affogato despite being nothing like him other than more feminine appearances and being a new femboy, that’s the most characterization some people are willing to give him because there’s not much else to work with. I mean he does have a character, or at least things you can base one off of, but you generally have to look for them in his story description or some of his in-game lines, and I think most people aren’t gonna go out of their way to do that

[gifti3]

the goverment is definitely figuring out this alien situation asap right?? cause whats happening currently is not feasible in the long run is it not??

im sure they are trying to maybe figure it out...probably, but part of me feels like it is not being treated with the seriousness it should be by them, which ig is in character LOL

pretty much relying on one guy (who doesnt even wanna be doing this) is actually scary

and the mc still has to like 'encourage' him to do it, tho its much easier in the 'ray ending' for sure. that man just wants to live a regular life with mc (unfortunately for him that means continuing to be binary star and dealing with aliens)

and if i was a citizen and knew this id be panicking

like yea u have these other heroes helping and stuff which im sure looks comforting from an outside point of view! but like the actuality is that its ray keeping things afloat

AND ON THE TOPIC OF THE MC, i was definitely in my head like....wouldnt rays superiors (managers??) get like curious about them? like no way theyre not being nosy about it after a certain amount of time passes. it really feels like something that could be leveraged against him,,, (if there is fic about this pls send it to me lol)

honestly i feel like mc and rays relationship would have moments of high stress. like there will be good times but also the bad times will also be there and its sometimes gonna be because of outside factors they cant control

[celestialmuses]

Ah, it seemed like they had another thing in common. Food was more important than talking. They ate quietly for a bit, enjoying the taste, but also each other's company. At least that was Leia's interpretation. "I'll learn a recipe for your favorite kind and practice until they're perfect, how does that sound?" She asked with a cheeky grin. She'd probably hate it at first but seeing Leo smile was reason enough to try. Maybe she could actually improve with a better taster than the boys in the hockey house. "I think it makes sense, I feel like we're pretty compatible already. Plus, we know how it's going to end so I don't feel nervous about being honest with my feelings, like I normally would. That's kind of nice." She agreed, happily in her own little bubble with him. At some point her water glass was topped up but she never noticed the waiter who did it, too interested in other things. "Good, because I can definitely be picky when it comes to sleeping. I don't like noise and it needs to be dark and I need a bunch of pillows." Would they even want to sleep in the same bed? Was she getting ahead of herself? "I'm not going to just take your money Leo! We need to look at everything together and figure something out. Maybe a joint account we both pay into. Or like, a shared credit card. But your money is your own, I'm not with you for that, real or pretend." At this she was a little more serious, but she needed him to understand. She wasn't a gold-digger and she already cared far too much for him to even think about behaving that way. Besides, if he dreams came to fruition, she'd be making a pretty penny herself. Her hand came back to gently take his, rubbing his thumb briefly. "A house in Ottawa sounds great. I've never been to Canada before. I've only traveled internationally a few times. We might still want a place down here in New York, perhaps an apartment if I book a Broadway show? Or to visit my family from? My mom would want to be involved in her grandkids' lives." That last part was slightly mumbled, her cheeks pink.

Seeing the food being places, it looked delicious that he was glad that they, or whomever picked this restaurant. There were enough photos that were taken of them as he smiled about his food, seeing her take the photo he smiled. He wasn't one to post a bunch on his socials, it was too hard to keep up for him, but he would post a couple things every so often. Maybe he would try and post some things more, and some of them as well. ❝ Yeah, thanks. ❞ He smiled softly as he finally picked up his burger to take a large bite of it, instantly feeling like heaven from the taste. He didn't have that many friends from growing up, more friends from his hockey teams that he played on which he didn't really care, they connected well and understood the job and commitment to make. ❝ Hey, cookies are never off the table, especially now if they are going to be coming from my future wife. ❞ He shared a smile in her direction as he nodded his head. ❝ There is a meal plan to stay healthy for the most part, ensuring that you eat enough carbs and protein to give you the energy you need. ❞ He would only speak when his mouth wasn't full taking another bite from his burger, almost half finishing it now. ❝ Yeah, I mean there are people who get engaged after a couple of months so I think it would work for us. ❞ He nodded thinking about it. It was a lot of questions about their marriage to be, a lot that he didn't really think of that much as it made his heart beat a little faster. Kids. They had to talk about kids? He soon found himself laughing about the snoring comment. ❝ Not that I know of so I'm going to say no.. I don't snore. As for finances, I'm fine if you use some of my money as long as it's all talked about. I'm happy to pay for more depending on paycheques. House, I do own one in Ottawa during the off season and home games then it's a lot of hotels for me. I would like to keep my home but I'm good to look at different houses too. ❞ He thought a little more on the kids part as he stabbed the lettuce with his fork taking a bite. Maybe their fake marriage would end up being a forever thing. His team didn't tell him that it was supposed to be forever but sitting here, talking with Leia... he could see it being long term, see himself falling in love with her. ❝ Kids aren't off the table for me and they would have a beautiful mother. ❞ His eyes looked up at her as he softly smiled.

[koszmarnybudyn]

Little (mostly) Cecil doodle page, cause brain images are wierd.

[silusvesuius]

n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.

[itsmistyeyedbi]

Cliché as it may be, I want to make ocs that go about their day with really impractical hair.

An oc with an afro so big that it covers their eyes, an oc with locs or cornrows so long that they almost touch the ground, an oc with a hairstyle too elaborate to maintain for long - and they just exist Like That.