#I still don’t do my home work
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I HATE BIOLOGY
anyways the answer is in the nucleotide sequences. Humans and monkeys are considered the same genus because we share the most amount of nucleotides in the same sequence I believe.
Also a factor of ancestry of the species (what ‘parent’ species did the two split from and how far apart are they? Technically humans and chickens are the same ‘species’ if you go back far enough.). Polar bears and like grizzly bears are still close enough related with their ancestry (not many mutations) that like, they can make pizzly bears because it’s not like a fish and bird tryna make a baby.
I also got a B- in Bio cuz I never studied sooo uhhh- yeah. You decide wether to trust me
Hearing my name be yelled out across the street makes me think someone is in danger. Not that you need help with biology homework.
That being said, What are the "rules" for being the same species?? both me and this kid over here are so confused.
#well that’s not entirely true. I studied#just never did the homework#and there was teaching in the homework sometimes#but screw homework#I still don’t do my home work#multiverse shenanigans#sunnytheintern
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It’s never overstated to me when people are like “work out bc it makes you feel better” bc it literally does. I think what I used to get hung up on is making the perfect schedule / wanting to know what I was doing right away. But it’s also okay to flounder at first and experiment w things and figure out what works for you and your body. The important thing is you’re starting out bc your body really will thank you for it later down the line. You cannot keep pushing it off it will add up
#“Work out not bc you hate your body but bc u love it” is the truest statement ever#I also don’t think a gym membership is needed bc I know straight up athletes who only ever do bodyweight workouts#It helps me so that’s why I have one but it’s by no means necessary#I still do at home workouts at times bc I think they’re rly fun and a nice switch up#And just playing around and finding out what works for me but what also challenges me#I don’t think I perfected it yet but I’m doing lots of research & experimenting w things & I also just love the endorphins it gives me#My friend and I are ab to start regularly biking through nature trails & I think that will be so therapeutic for me bc I usually just#Work out at the gym/at home. It’ll be a nice little addition#And buying cute workout two pieces actually motivates me to work out too they make me feel like a Pinterest girl fr
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I was going to add a few more panels and clean this up a little more, buuuut time is kind of getting away from me again, so I’m going to leave it like this for now.
(Small request, but could y’all not tag this as a ship, please? It sort of really squicks me out.)
#the bad batch#my art#hunter bad batch#crosshair bad batch#crosshair! go home!#I’m still trying to figure out how ro draw them#and honestly how to draw#what is a hug#how do hands work#rendering? I don’t know her.#the idea here was that Crosshair was in the middle of saying something snarky#and Hunter just said screw it I’ve missed my brother it’s hug time
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ALSO I am learning how to teach very introverted students, something my natural skillset as a teacher does not help me with.
#one of my greatest tools in the toolkit of my teaching (imo) is that I am unpredictable#I will turn on a dime and I’ll share a thought from the depths of my soul or back of the pantry of my random opinions#that will make them laugh or hook them and they want to hear more#with a group of introverted students maybe they love to see it maybe they don’t but it doesn’t work for them to become engaged#they get so quiet and so still#and not in the good way that kind of happens but kind of just in the scared mouse kind of way#BUT. this past week I kind of had a breakthrough#I totally wasn’t planning on it but the moment was right so I talked to them about them being quiet and introverted (gently teasing them)!#and then I said ‘but do you like it when I just stand here and talk about the book’ and they were like ‘yeah! kind of the pressure is off’#and then I said ‘oh! that’s good to know. because when you’re quiet it makes me feel like you hate me’#(not realizing until I said it that that was the heart of the issue)#and they laughed in surprise (i didn’t say it in a way where I was putting that burden on them in a serious way)#and then I said ‘yeah last night I went home like ‘omg was that a stupid thing to say about Frank Churchill?? no one responded’#and then they kind of shriek-laughed at me and they were like noooooo#and then they said what if we gave you a thumbs up when you were done so you know we don’t hate you#and I said that would be great#and THEN a few days later I gave them an agenda for our discussion written out on the board#where I talked and they listened (I called it discussion with myself) and then they had questions to ponder and things to talk about#with each other. and a lot of time. and THEN I cold called them (they won’t volunteer)#but by that time they were so much more relaxed and they knew what we were doing#so they talked more! and it was so goooood#ALSO idk if it was them#or me who had changed but by the time I got to lecturing at them again#I could feel the quiet warmth that I could not before#(the absence of which is what makes speaking publicly instantly a torture to me l o l)#and it helped so much! like. they didn’t say much (some of them did the thumbs up)#but I had cleared the expectations for them and for me tbh and it helped. I was not waiting for a response from them so in fact I got more#of one. and best of all I could feel them feeling both the warmth and the power of Emma a little bit more#it is starting to click. anyway this is so much but y eah#I’ve been wrestling with this problem a l l year. cracking it in December lol
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted
I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people
I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;
so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)
#But yeah :)#hopefully I’ll be able to sleep it off tonight but since school is tomorrow might end up still tired and stressed (ᵕ—ᴗ—)#lol I’m trying not to complain or make a stink about it whilst still being informative—#Edit: uh so I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning#But it’s already starting to go to crap unfortunately#Hgnhh I wanna talk but I keep telling myself it’s selfish to talk about how I feel#Idk I’m just messed up man#Feel like crap#eating earlier didn’t help it just made me feel worse#I don’t wanna go shopping or to the outing :(#But my dad said he needs help#And I don’t think I have a choice for the outing#And school tmrw :(#I don’t wanna do this I really font#I think I’m breaking down#Yeah I’m breaking down#<- that’s dramatic I’m sorry#Edit 2: if I trigger myself so badly that I have a really quick and strong breakdown will that make me fine for the rest of the day#Bc omg I have things I need to do! I can’t mope around and be dramatic all day!#I hate this! I don’t want it! Literally any other day would have been doable!#I can’t just ask my dad to stay home from the outing either because then that would entail me explaining why I don’t wanna go and I’d cry-#-in front of him and I don’t wanna cry in front of people#I hate this so much#i wish I could just poof into nonexistence#🌾#<- atp it’s a vent#Edit 3: I’m trying really hard ace but petting my dog isn’t working
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#cowboy.speaks#(rambles)#its so silly how I just absolutely don’t care ab my own bday but anytime I hear anything mentioning jan 3 I’m like 😧!! that’s my bday 🥰#then the actual day rolls around and I work 9 hours and come home and sleep lmao#so silly#I’m so fuckin tired#i’ve been up since 5:30#which I mean.. I passed out before 10 so I pretty much got 8 hours#but I felt so exhausted last night#still do#and not only am I about to start my period but I think I am sick 🥲#whenever I talk ab my period I think of all those tiktoks making fun of girls who think bitches/studs aren’t real girls#bc I feel like that’s how people perceive me#which like… not??? I don’t know. but I unfortunately do in fact have a uterus#a duderus if you will#once again a victim of my autocorrect being homophobic#BUTCHES*** and studs
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i do not like thanksgiving (week)
#1. late november? it’s Dark. all the time. pure darkness#also my dad is neurotic for no reason about the electricity bill despite how much money he spends on random other crap#and he will get really nasty with you if you leave a light on for one nanosecond longer than it needs to be on#so like only if you’re in the room which means the house is dark all the time and you’re expected to just walk around like that#even though having a light on at your destination if you’re moving back and forth helps#like sorry i don’t want to feel depressed and sleepy all the time#2. family over means i have to socialize even though i straight up have nothing to say#i think this one is self explanatory i think we all know the feeling of having to perform around relatives and to be friendly#i really do try my best i’m not like a hardcore introvert i’m just boring and easily bored#if i have nothing to say but i am expected by law to be present at the gathering#i will cope with looking awkward by constantly snacking on whatever food is present#so i just eat like a ton of crackers or whatever over several hours#and i feel like absolute crap#like blehhh wdym peanut m&ms will make your body annoyed at you#3. i can’t cook i’ll be so real so i can’t even feel like i’m being helpful#i would gladly help out i’ll just always need someone to hold my hand and i’ll be in the way#so it’s better for me to stay away#but then it looks like i’m just lazy#or again antisocial#and then that means i gotta do cleanup and dishes#4. going back to the Darkness and sleepiness. all of the above things are bad enough over say christmas#but at least then i can relax bc the semester is over it’s a real break#but thanksgiving? man i am still busy. i have to work from home. i am stressed#my instinct is to hibernate and relax bc of the darkness and holiday vibe#however i’m not allowed to#but it’s hard to be productive#harder still when you have to operate under someone else’s rules#peach rambles
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Wait i just saw your tags that your job is the "do list of tasks until complete then leave" type - what sort of job is it? Bc that sounds amazing tbh
I will say my job isn’t like this ALL the time…maybe like 50-60% of the time
I’m a “pottery operator” at a community art center—but essentially I’m the assistant to the main teacher. I also teach classes, but that’s only a few times a week. The rest of the time my boss gives me a check list of studio chores to do. She is often not there bc she owns her own gallery, so for example every Monday and Friday I spend the whole day just checking off tasks on a to-do list. Things like cleaning and organizing shelves and cupboards, loading kilns (which I LOVE to do, unironically), mix clay, prep clay and tools for lessons, etc etc… and then when I’m done, I can either “lesson plan” which is usually me looking at pintrist, writing a bit, or working on teacher samples to see how I would demo it (which is very fun to me) or I leave, because I get paid salary, so if the work is done I’m good
So basically it is literally the perfect job for me. The perfect mix of social interaction (and it’s usually with other artistic people), teaching (which I also love to do), and mentally and physically engaging but NOT back breaking menial tasks that I can just check off on a to-do list (and I usually listen to an audio book the whole time..)
So, like, a pretty niche kinda job I guess….but it’s seriously the perfect fit for me
#I also rlly like my boss. we vibe.#she’s older so she can’t do a lot of the physical studio chores anymore so I’m just like hey. give me a list and I’ll do it#so even when she is there I’m usually doin my thang by myself in the studio and she takes care of paper work stuff and emails#I teach classes too but it’s no where NEAR as much work at teaching at a public school. we have like 1 class a day (sometimes two)#like 2-3 times a week and we split that between us#like it is a GOOD gig . especially to me who is obsessed with all things ceramics and clay#it’s a good balance between menial tasks and teaching for me#public school was way too overwhelming for me#also this place gives me time to lesson plan ON THE CLOCK.. they actively say do not do work at home you don’t get paid for#they’re all about mental health and work-home balance#sorry this is probably way more info than u needed#but I’m still just geeked I even have this job. love it#also did I mention I get 45k a year for this on salary and good insurance and 401k#I make more than if I’d used my teaching license …
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Well that was the most disgusting hour of my life! I need seven showers and a memory wipe!
#tw gross#putting it in the tags because EW#okay so I’ve had a fly problem and it was fucking b a d#I couldn’t figure out where they were coming from#I have slowly been going fucking insane#cleaning and deep cleaning for HOURS#DID YOU KNOW THAT SWARMS OF BUGS ARE MY ONE MAJOR FEAR!!!#I can’t even stand to listen about them. I skipped those episodes of the Magnus archives!!#today was the last straw. I got home from work and just. fucking lost it.#I cleaned. I mopped. I disinfected. I scrubbed.#nothing.#then. THEN. this one damn cubbard aboved my microwave.#I don’t use it often because it is tall and I am short.#APPARENTLY. I PUT SOME LOAFS OF BREAD UP THERE AT SOME POINT.#MAGGOTS. EVERYWHERE!!!#when I tell you I threw up. I mean it. i May never eat again!!!!!!!!!!#anyway thank god for bleach and that I still had all my disinfectant wipes. also thank god it’s trash day so allll that shit is immediately#outta my house.#seven. showers. fucking yuck.#vrrm vrrm#I can’t stand filth. I simply can’t do it!!! it makes me itch!! I want to peel my skin off!!!#if you guys wanna know what I was doing instead of bfiasc. well. *gestures*
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Hello everyoneeeee good morning to you all!! Happy Monday my loves it’s the start of a fresh week let’s make the most of it 💕💕💕
#nina rambles~✦#I have a few asks to answer so I’ll do that when I get home from work!!!#I’m also unofficially participating in kinktober#I’m pushing back a Zoro smut to later this week so that it falls in kinktober#and next week I was planning on uploading one thing everyday for laws bday week#and I have 3 smuts in mind for that#maybe more I still have 2 more days to plan out#and I had a swordplay with Zoro in mind#and Halloween smut is on the mind#so like#i guess I’m participating LMAO#I don’t like making those big masterlists though for it because it just pressures me to put it out#meanwhile I have only 2 things written#IDK I just don’t wanna promise something and not deliver ya know????#YA KNOW#anyways#I got another chopper funko over the weekend!!#completing my little wano funko collection#damn this ramble is long that’s enough from me BYE BYE HAVE A GOOD DAY YALL
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god the hits really don’t stop fucking coming do they.
#genuinely cannot take much more of this#i hit my limit about 4 weeks ago#and it just won’t fucking stop#coming up on six weeks of having varying levels of Horrors(tm) happening to me on a weekly basis#and sometimes multiple Horrors(tm) in a week#lost my job#my cat died#had an asbestos scare#my partner’s cat almost died#he had to have emergency surgery#and then when he came home had to go straight back to the emergency vet to have emergency surgery a second time bc they fucked up#had a huge fight with my partner bc oh yeah this whole time we’ve also been moving!!!#but there was some stupidly unnecessary drama around the security deposit/getting the old house clean#and this whole time while grieving and losing my income and all of this shit I am also still a disabled/chronically ill person#so I’m forcing my body to keep working through increasingly instense flare ups#on top of all of this we have a houseguest who has vastly overstayed their welcome.#they’ve been here for SIX WEEKS and are showing no signs of going home#so much shit has happened in the past six weeks that I don’t even know if I’m remembering all of it here in these tags#and now. I have been denied for unemployment and received a notice that I have to pay back what they already paid me#bc i ‘missed the deadline to verify my identity’#except they NEVER SENT ME THE IDENTITY VERIFICATION LETTER#I’ve been keeping an eye out for it and I’ve kept every letter I’ve received from them#nothing has the verification password.#I filed an appeal but the confirmation page said it could take weeks to get a hearing#so what the fuck am I supposed to do in the meantime#i wish I were fucking dead to be honest#that would be preferable to the last six weeks
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if i stay over the weekend to help on a student film set, i won’t go back to my hometown which will upset my mom (and also cause me mental distress) but if i go home (mom happy, me happy(ish)) i’ll miss out on the opportunity to learn more about working on film sets (somethign i’ll have to do next semester for my own film) and i’ll reinforce in my brain that i’m not capable of doing literally anything and that i’m a fuckifn loser
#anyway i’m going home bc my mom was happy when i said i could#and i like it when she’s happy#it wouldn’t be so bad if my dad wasn’t working insane hours that left her alone for most of the day#but yeah.#i feel like when i graduate i’ll be shit out luck bc i haven’t made good connections bc i’ve only ever been on two sets#and it’s all my fault bc i don’t know what to do to make everyone happy#god please i want a solution i can’t keep living like this#i keep telling myself ‘you don’t have to be on set to contribute to films’ i’m a fucking editor for gods sake people know me as the editor#that’s my thing but i still feel like i’m not doing enough and i’m letting everyone down and that i’m on the outside of it all all the time#bc i have to go home every weekend or the world will end or whatever#i feel so fucking useless rn y’all#first day of my period i’m probably overreacting but idk it feels so real#i messaged someone else about being on their set so i can at least say i’ve done SOMETHING and she left me on read so that’s fun#god i’m sorry for this yall i’m going through it right now
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Wanting more homoeroticism in the tension between the show’s leads as the narrative introduces greater intimacy and higher stakes between them, especially in a landscape that lacks queer representation who isn’t a villain or dies within one or two episodes, but also recognizing that core values/motivation for these characters lie in their relationships with one of two major female characters in an on screen sausage fest where the only other woman is a morally reprehensible femme fatale and erasing and/or vilifying female leads in favor of conventionally attractive males is a common practice observed in fandoms that’s rooted in misogyny and justified under the guise of rejecting heteronormativity, thinly veiled double standards, or claiming the woman is simply not interesting enough and not wanting to bolster that mindset
#the worst of evil#you know who’s not interesting enough? haeryeon!! bibi’s acting the hell out of her and slaying while doing it#but idk anything besides she’s willing to subvert her dad for dick and values money over everything else#and also she’s hot which is great for me!! but also the male gaze#and I also get it - we don’t know much about euijeong in her limited screen time besides her relationships to junmo/kicheol#but she is given so many traits that are silently conveyed like compassion and bravery and sacrifice#she brought a fucking gun to her date with kicheol like the conflicts and motivations here are SO JUICY#her exasperation guilt and despair with the investigation; esp after listening to the voicemails#what’s the self respecting thing to do; do I still love my husband if he loses himself; can I continue a game I never wanted to play#at the cost of my life or my family’s life?#even though a lot of her choices are for her marriage she’s using whatever agency she has in her own terms#kicheol works to be an honest man and make a difference partly bc of her#not trying to place the burden of fixing men on her but ignoring her impact in the boys’ lives is wild#ship whoever you want hate whoever you want but don’t deride a woman just cuz ‘she’s in the way’ ya know#all this being said; kicheol bringing junmo home after he RAMPAGED seemingly on his behalf - literally who else is doing it like them#the yearning all around - I get it now; we need gangster mob!throuple to get any shit done around here (and for all 3 to stay alive 🫣🙏)#but the reality next week is gonna be so so bitter
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they call me the griever because halfway through a thing I enjoy I’m already sad that it’s closer to being over
#blue chatter#trying to work on not doing this#and just enjoying the thing in the moment#this happens to me a lot with school breaks and such#like ‘oh I love being on spring break but I’m sad bc I’m already 3 days in’#‘oh I love summer vacation so far it’s too bad it’s already a month over’#and I’m like NO!!!!! blue!!!!!!!! you’re missing the point!!!!!!!!#you have the joy *right now* and you are SPOILING IT bc you’re too busy looking ahead to when it will be gone!!!!!!!!!#it happens with friend visits a lot. it’s less bad now but it still happens.#like. the first time I visited friends over spring break I woke up in the early morning of the last morning and just cried#because I only had a few hours left before I had to get on the plane home#and I start hurriedly stuffing seconds and minutes into my mouth and refusing to swallow#because maybe if I just cling extra hard then the time won’t pass-#but it does pass. and that’s okay. and I know that’s okay because life had more joyful things after that moment#had I stayed there on that day I would have been frozen as a much more miserable person#my friends themselves would have been very different people#I mean. fuck. between then and now two of us figured out our genders. both of them got married. they moved somewhere else now.#there’s a lot of little joys that got left behind there. a church they loved. a local park. mountains and windy streets.#but I wouldn’t hold ourselves there. which I try to remind myself when I start crying about lost time again#because yeah. this will end someday. human lifespans aren’t infinite.#but the future is full of life I still have to live. there’s no saying that I can’t have good things again.#and this period of my life is rapidly rushing towards a much more uncertain future and I know that and it’s scary#I know I have about 11 months to make several very adult decisions that will determine a lot of my future#but no matter what I choose this period of my life is not wasted#and I don’t need to hurriedly optimize every second and mourn losing them#and I know that. and I still feel sad and mourny. but that might be more indicative that I’m hungry or smth.
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can't tell if it's just a good day or if this epiphany/shift in thinking is actually gonna last 🤔
#I have been out in public all day but I'm like. still doing good. I've had a really nice time actually.#I prioritized my comfort re: clothes & other sensory issues and like. decided to (try) to stop caring so much what anyone thinks of me?#and it's working?? wild. granted I think I was already on an upswing w the whole Depression thing but like.#idk. idk idk tmw ur like 'ok I'm probably autistic so I'm gonna just start accommodating myself'#and u suddenly start having a less miserable time lmfjajfkgsh#anyway yeah hi I'm alive I'm feeling p good & I'm?? gonna have a nice new laptop next week????#it's uh. it's been a day lmao (but like in a GOOD way for once ajfkgsg)#I'm vibin. maybe I'll be vibin enough to write once I'm home. maybe I'll just read all night again. who knows??? not me!!!!#but I do think regardless of whether I write tonight or not I'll be back into things v soon 👀#byan is rattling the bars of their kennel again & I've had more energy the last day or two sooooo 🤞#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.#personal cw
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