#sorry this is probably way more info than u needed
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fuck-kirk · 1 month ago
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Wait i just saw your tags that your job is the "do list of tasks until complete then leave" type - what sort of job is it? Bc that sounds amazing tbh
I will say my job isn’t like this ALL the time…maybe like 50-60% of the time
I’m a “pottery operator” at a community art center—but essentially I’m the assistant to the main teacher. I also teach classes, but that’s only a few times a week. The rest of the time my boss gives me a check list of studio chores to do. She is often not there bc she owns her own gallery, so for example every Monday and Friday I spend the whole day just checking off tasks on a to-do list. Things like cleaning and organizing shelves and cupboards, loading kilns (which I LOVE to do, unironically), mix clay, prep clay and tools for lessons, etc etc… and then when I’m done, I can either “lesson plan” which is usually me looking at pintrist, writing a bit, or working on teacher samples to see how I would demo it (which is very fun to me) or I leave, because I get paid salary, so if the work is done I’m good
So basically it is literally the perfect job for me. The perfect mix of social interaction (and it’s usually with other artistic people), teaching (which I also love to do), and mentally and physically engaging but NOT back breaking menial tasks that I can just check off on a to-do list (and I usually listen to an audio book the whole time..)
So, like, a pretty niche kinda job I guess….but it’s seriously the perfect fit for me
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moonrisecoeur · 10 months ago
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compliance (how to brainwash your boyfriend) — leon kennedy
author’s note: this was written with re4r!leon in mind bc that’s my boyfriend! angel said so!! i have… so many hypno ideas, some considerably more palatable and some that are Much Worse, so pls let me know if you want more! also this is based off of an audio i listened to once by everdistant-utopia on reddit! the headset concept is kind of (extremely) goofy but i was into it idk. again, i'm aware that mind control isn't real and this is a silly ass concept. i had fun doing it anyway. no leons were hurt in the making of this fic. sorry for not posting it sooner even tho it was done i was extremely embarrassed lol. pls ignore any typos. love you!! thank u!!
wc: 5k
content: sub!leon x fem!reader, afab reader, oral reader receiving, orgasm control, mention of feet for like two seconds
warning: this is dark content. please do not read if the following topics are sensitive to you: noncon, hypnosis, mind control. i dont endorse or encourage this type of behavior irl, its just a fantasy!
as you walk down the street, you walk by a flier that’s sitting on the sidewalk. you don’t stop to read it, but one word caught your eye. mind control. it was probably something stupid, something completely made up by some lunatic who thinks mind control is real. mind control is maybe, technically real, in the ‘just relax and close your eyes, breathe deeply and let yourself be at peace’ kind of way. definitely not the ‘put on this headset and let me rewire your brain to make you my pet’ kind of way.
but… would it really hurt to look at the flier? you turn around to see it’s still there, and, against all your better judgment, you decide to walk up to it and pick it up.
it’s dirty, wet because of the rain from last night. even still, you can read the description of the advertised product clearly, along with some more info like a website and contact info for the designers. you take a brief moment to wonder who in the hell comes up with that stuff.
introducing you to the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! perfect for all of your mind control needs! simply place the device over the subjected head and choose what you’d like to do with them. need an obedient housewife? in search of a new pet? want them to be madly in love and obsessed with you? all of that and more is possible with the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! visit our website and order the headset today!
you blink. this is insane. who would do this? who would make this? why would anyone want to make someone do any of this against their will? you feel sick to your stomach as you crumple up the flier and toss it in the nearest trash can.
because that’s… that’s not consensual. that’s wrong in every possible way. unless they gave consent to be, what, turned into an ‘obedient housewife’? that’s really what it said? there’s just no way that’s right. how is that legal to sell? what even was that flier doing?
this feels like the kind of thing that would be sold on the black market, not openly advertised to people on the street. what if some lunatic saw it and just started brainwashing people? no one could stop them, it’s not exactly a crime in and of itself, and any crimes committed would be a little difficult to report if the ‘subject’ was too mindless to notice or to say anything.
whatever. you threw the flier away, you did your job as a good samaritan by tossing it so someone much much worse than you wouldn’t get a chance to look at it, and thus, you can forget all about the headset. pretend you never saw the flier or knew it existed and carry on with your life.
except, you can’t really. it permeates your thoughts, seeps inside of your subconscious until you begin to hypothesize that the headset wasn’t the real hypnosis, it was seeing that flier. you know you must be delusional. it’s not real, you’re not really mind controlled from just reading the flier, but… would it really hurt it buy it? you had the money for it and it’s not too expensive at all.
you hate yourself for it but you look on the website, just as hypnotic as the flier was, and you see multiple variations of the headset. some more suited towards different outcomes for ‘subjects’ and some just different stylistically.
you find the one you were looking at earlier. the ultra brainwasher 3000. it’s a stupid name, you’re aware. it just doesn’t really matter because who’s gonna know that you own this? you’ll keep it, maybe try it out on yourself to see what it’s like. you won’t do anything crazy, maybe like, hypnotize yourself to not be able to sit down until all your household chores are done, just for the day. the ultra brainwasher 3000 claims to have this functionality, and you’re… more or less, curious.
you order it and spend two weeks in absolute hell, making sure your boyfriend is never home alone when the package could arrive. you’re not worried he’d open it and see the device. he doesn’t look through your stuff, but the packing sticker ‘brainmelting industrial company’ would…. catch his eye for sure. try explaining that to your boyfriend, especially because even if you’re a good liar, you’re not to leon.
but, you get it, and it’s perfect because leon isn’t home right now, and you get to play with your new toy for a little bit. the box is smaller than you expected, only including the headset, a charging cord, and a set of instructions.
as you’re reading, the thought only just now hits you. it’s surprising that it’s taken you this long to have this idea, given how it would be someone else’s first instinct.
“should i…” you murmur to yourself, looking around nervously to see if anyone is in earshot, “… should i use this on leon..?”
i don’t know, should you use a mind control headset on your poor boyfriend that was just sent on a mission to save the fucking president’s daughter? maybe not.
you don’t know how it took you this long to come up with the concept. i mean, the flier did mention making someone your obedient housewife, but… they never said that someone had to be a girl…
it’s gross or actually more disgusting, honestly, how excited you get at the prospect of doing this to leon, but you decide that yeah, fuck it, you might as well brainwash your boyfriend. truthfully, what are the consequences? besides… ruining your relationship, betraying his trust, destroying him as a person… eh, it’s only temporary, right? there’s ways to make it only temporary.. and there’s no way he’d remember..
you fiddle with it, curious of all the different things you could do to him. the headset didn’t have presets, you could make up literally anything you wanted him to believe. you could make him the obedient housewife, but you could also make him a servant, maybe even dress him up all pretty as a maid. you could make sure of his loyalty and commitment, make him be so in love with you that even the thought of being with another woman makes him physically ill.
he gets home later that night, worn down and tired and exhausted in every possible way. and you know you’re going to have to put on your best acting skills. you’re not sure if you’re ready to do this, but you’re gonna have to be, so you press a sweet kiss to his lips, one he lingers on for just a moment too long. his lips chase after yours as his eyes open back up slowly, looking at you through his pretty lashes, an eyebrow raised, “what?”
you can’t help but adore him, his bluntness and gruff attitude, yet how soft he touches your waist as he pulls you closer. leon is nothing if not gentle and sweet, and you love that about him, “nothing, i just… i just wanted to look at you,” you say, and it reminds you just how easy leon is. just a couple of words and his eyes get a little glassy, his heart leaping out of his chest just a bit.
it sometimes helps that your boyfriend has been through every form of hell since that day in raccoon city, so sometimes just sweet words and little gestures get a bigger reaction than you’d expect. he’s traumatized and broken down, so the love you give him matters so much more.
in short, he’s easy. he gives in quickly and doesn’t like to fight, not with you. gives you everything you want, doesn’t protest, doesn’t ask for much besides your attention and love.
“you always stare at me,” he says awkwardly. god he’s so not charming that it makes him effortlessly likable.
that’s what’s so sucky about the idea of hypnosis. do you lose the person he used to be? sure, a mindless househusband would be great, helplessly obedient and passive and hardworking, but does this override his actual personality? that’s a bit too scary.
you make an effort to soak in these parts of his personality, enjoying every inch of his pretty little mind. you decide that no matter what you do to him, you can’t ruin him completely. you’d miss his heart, rough and guarded but nonetheless yours.
“i wanna try something,” you murmur to him, your heart pounding a little more than it should, “do you trust me?”
“of course i do,” he says. your heart almost aches, he trusts you so implicitly.
“close your eyes,” you say, and he complies easily.
you step away to grab the headset, and he’s so sweet and good that he doesn’t even peek. you take a deep breath, and commit to it.
you place it on his head, and he grumbles, but doesn’t object. poor thing. doesn’t even realize what’s happening to him.
the setting on the headset that you chose wasn’t anything flashy but it was labeled ‘semi-permanent’ and it stated that the subject would not remember anything from the moment of hypnosis to the moment they wake up next. so, all and all, even if you felt horrible, the damage wouldn’t be permanent, and leon wouldn’t even remember what happened.
truthfully, it felt like nothing could go wrong. it wouldn’t alter him too much, just… make him helplessly obedient for a couple hours. you could turn up the intensity if you wanted to, if it wasn’t quite enough to satisfy your curiosity.
you decide that it’s now or never, especially since being lost in your head while your boyfriend is cluelessly wearing what looks like a vr headset is kind of… odd.
you start the application, waiting for it to begin on his end.
“what are you up to?” he asks innocently, probably still not seeing anything while it loads. the question sounds like an accusation, but it’s really not. leon genuinely just wants to know what’s going on. it’s hard not to, but you don’t answer.
you notice the exact moment that it starts because grunts out of nowhere and his whole body tenses, and he clutches onto the fabric of the couch cushions, using that sense as a way to ground himself during an overload of audio and visual stimulation.
you reach to grab his hand, and his grasps yours tightly, desperately, as if physically pleading with you to make it stop.
you whisper to him, “shhh, nice and easy,” you’re not even sure if he can hear you, but you still feel the need to speak. you’re not sure if it’s your voice or your touch but he relaxes just slightly, his breath raggedy and tense. he’s trying like hell to keep himself together, but it’s so overwhelming that it’s hard for him to think, “hey… it’s okay. you’re okay, just… let it happen.”
a pathetic little whimper escapes his throat as his body goes slack, jaw hanging open and arms hanging limply by his sides, “wha… why?” his voice sounds small, weak, and if you weren’t so cruel, you’d immediately take it all back and apologize and just face the consequences.
but you’re too far deep to back out now, even if leon’s pitiful demeanor is almost swaying you to stop, you know you can’t. not now.
“i… i thought you…” he whines, body tensing and spasming as he tries to put some form of coherent thought together, “wha… why..?” he whimpers again, pathetically broken down in just a matter of minutes.
you sit there with him, holding his hand, waiting for the process to be done, and once it is, you take the headset off.
he seems agitated, but doesn’t seem to know what at. his muscles are tense, but he doesn’t make any sudden movements.
“hey,” you mutter gently, and he almost flinches at the sound, looking at you with those wide deer eyes again, scared. you reach out to touch his face, fingers caressing his cheek.
the cogs in his brain turn as he processes what’s happening, and the agitation seems to evaporate and become replaced by a sense of calm and relaxation. he looks into your eyes, and it seems like he’s deciding something.
“leon?”
“yes? how… can i serve you?” he asks, jaw dropping at his own words. he’s so stunned at what he’s saying and how he’s acting yet he can’t help it.
“…address me as… ma’am,” you say, and he shivers, eyes closing tensely as he tries to figure out what the hell is going on, “and go get me something. how about… a cup of coffee? yeah, let’s start there.”
it makes sense that he’s fading in and out, the programming would probably need more time to settle in before it was done and his personality obviously wouldn’t just disappear, but it was still a little bit heartbreaking to watch him fight the voice in his head that is desperate to obey you.
as he disappears into the kitchen, you sit where he was sitting on the couch to take a moment to think it all over.
leon has never been the most… dominant man. he has his moments of aggression and tension that turn into a roughness that his soul seems to often carry, but it’s never controlling. he’s not demanding, he asks nothing of you besides gracing him with your presence.
but due to his past, submission also doesn’t come easy to him. he likes to think he would lean more sub, just because he’s so malleable to your will, so easy to convince. anything you want is yours, and if you want his dignity laid out in the palm of your hand, then it’s yours to keep for eternity. he just struggles to fully give up control, especially since you know he’s not really had much of that in his life.
you kept his personality intact for the most part, but… he just seems so different. he responds pretty much the same, talks the same, acts the same. something just doesn’t seem right.
“here’s the coffee you asked for,” he mutters when he returns, his voice gruff but soft at the same time. he’s… definitely conflicted. the implanted urge to obey you mindlessly and the natural urge to protect his self-respect are fighting in his head. you watch curiously to see which will win.
leon has been through hell, and you can always see it when you look into his eyes. he’s been controlled by the government, a puppet on their strings, since he survived that night in raccoon city. he must be used to a lack of control in his life. but now he’s your puppet, and you have no interest in using him as a killing machine. you have… different plans for him.
“thanks,” you whisper, and he nods, quiet but obedient. just how you wanted him. he stands there beside you, not really knowing what to do with himself as you take a sip, “rub my feet now.”
“..what?”
“you heard me,” you say. and he did.
something in his stomach sinks at the command, a feeling of urgency to do as you say fills his entire being, but it just feels so wrong to him. you’re never this brazen, this demanding.
“come on, leon,” you say, almost condescendingly, pointing to the floor right in front of the couch, “on… your… knees.”
he breathes shakily, but kneels down in front of you, avoiding eye contact as he gives you your damn foot massage. there’s turmoil in his head, easily seen by that deer-like look in his eyes as he stares wide-eyed at the ground. despite his roughness, he’s always had these soft, fragile eyes, reminding you of who he really is. it would be truly heartbreaking to watch him go through this if it also wasn’t incredibly attractive to put him on his knees and order him around.
leon has always been relatively compliant, but now it’s on a whole other level. anything you ask for, despite some inner conflict, he’ll do. you wonder just how far you could push him, but… you don’t decide to test that just yet.
for a few minutes, or however long it takes for you to finish your coffee, you sit there with him. his touch is good but not very skilled. he gets the tension and soreness out though, and you’re sure you could train that into him over time.
“take off your shirt,” you say, and his throws off his t-shirt easily. it lands in the corner unimportantly, and your smirk radiates confidence and something else much more sinister, “stand up, bend over in front of me.”
he closes his eyes tightly, clearly fighting that inner battle but the part of him desperate to get away and to not obey you is losing. he slowly rises to his feet and does as you ask. he places his hands on the coffee table, legs spread slightly like he already knows what’s about to happen. funny, because he doesn’t seem to know much of anything right now.
you stand up, hands touching all over him but particularly grasping at his ass, pulling down his sweatpants and boxers and enjoying the way his muscles flex, tightening and hardening when you grab him, “you never let me spank you,” you muse, almost annoyed, “i get it. you get nervous with power play and letting me dom you or whatever, but i always wanted to hit it just once. just to satisfy the curiosity of what it would be like.”
your hand pulls back and slams against his butt with a loud smacking noise. he gasps, breathing out shakily after the hit, “i… i’m sorry, ma’am.”
“but now that we’re here… and i’ve already got a taste, i don’t think i ever want to stop. so, from now on, no more of that. if i want to slap your ass, i’m going to,” you murmur, “and you will not try to stop me or convince me not to.”
“i.. i…” he whimpers, and for a second you pause, nervously that the real leon, somehow deep down, heard that, “… yes, ma’am.”
“good,” you mutter, slapping it again, feeling the hit in your hand as you pull away, and if you can feel it so clearly then you’re sure he can, “now, be polite and say ‘thank you’. thank me for teaching you how to correctly behave.”
“tha… thank you, ma’am,” he whispers, eyes shutting slowly as his deep inner need to resist is weakening.
“i own you now,” you groan, grasping at his hips posessively, mouth pressing open kisses to his bare shoulder, “no, i… have always owned you. owned your body, you just didn’t realize it.”
he nods, incredibly turned on. his body aches to be claimed, to be made yours.
sure, leon has always been yours, but his body has been purely his. he’s… cautious with it. he’s been more or less just too busy for romantic partners, but somehow you snuck your way into his life and he happily lets you stay. he just… is slowly learning to trust you with himself.
he can do easy, comfortable, casual sex. what he can’t do is hand himself over to you like this, helplessly obedient, submissive in every possible way. as much as leon doesn’t have the energy to fight, tired and worn down, fighting is all he know.
your nails drag against the skin of his torso and back, leaving pretty red lines wherever they go, “no more fighting. no more stressing about it. all you have to do is be mine, unequivocally.”
“i… i am..” he mumbles, and you tilt your head, eyeing him curiously. he notices, shying away, “i… i am yours. unequivocally. you can… you can have me.”
manhandling has always been a little difficult, considering leon is all muscle and he’s a sturdy guy, but you spin him at the hips to face you, and he’s effortlessly moved, “can i… have your body just as much as i have your heart?”
“yes, i… yes, ma’am, it’s yours. do whatever you want with it, ma’am,” he says, a slight daze in his eyes, clearly he’s not all the way there. he's trying. he’s still so soft, so tender and malleable, so leon.
you lean in to press a kiss to his lips, and he melts into your touch, hands grasping him roughly, in a way that might hurt anyone else, but leon is strong. sure, your touch is bruising him, but… he doesn’t have enough
of his mind left to be bothered.
lips trail down his neck and shoulder, but move back up to his ear, sucking on his skin in a vampiric manner. you whisper to him, “you’re gonna only focus on my pleasure.”
“i… i am? i… i am…” he stutters, god it’s so damn cute.
“of course you are. you’d rather eat me out than have an orgasm yourself, wouldn’t you? if i was a crueler person, i would find a way to mind control your orgasms away completely. that way you could… focus on my pleasure, but i’m not that mean.”
he shudders, your lips pressing to the sensitive spot underneath his ear, teeth dragging down his skin, teasing him, taunting him.
“you wanna eat now?” you ask, lips pressed to his collarbone now, and he moans out an affirmative. you suck a hickey against the skin right atop of the bone, admiring the redness, the way you get to watch it turn a disgusting shade of purple. one that should make you nervous to have done to him, only turns you on.
instead of ordering him into his knees this time, you just push him, easily putting his head between your legs. his hands come up to hold your thighs, steadying himself as you half-stand half-sit on the counter. he pulls your pants down enough , but can’t even be bothered to take off your panties, just pushing them to the side.
“can.. i, ma’am?”
you chuckle, not really expecting him to be so polite, “go for it, sweet thing.”
he leans in, pressing a teasing kiss to your clit, just once, before his tongue meets your folds and he licks and sucks like tomorrow won’t come but he’ll make sure you will. he groans into your pussy like he’s the one being pleasured, and that honestly seems like a fair comparison. sure, he was physically pleasing you, but even just the act of giving oral is making his head spin with a satisfaction he has never felt before. he could get high off of this.
leon has always been good at giving head. much better than just good. he’s incredible. it’s the one thing where he can fully just zone out. if you’re too lost in your own pleasure, then you can’t focus on him and how he’s feeling, and there’s something oddly safe about the feeling of being, for all intents and purposes, alone with his thoughts. eating your pussy just comes so natural that it’s second nature.
but now? he can’t get lost in his thoughts if he doesn’t have any. doesn’t mean he’s enjoying it any less. he’s enjoying anything you ask him to do. you could tell him to go fold your laundry and then clean your bathroom and do your dishes and he’s do everything diligently and he’d be satisfied the whole time. god, maybe you do really want a househusband. besides, leon could use the emotional break from his job. he’s content enough serving you.
he makes you cum sooner than you expected, but it’s literally just because he’s that good with his tongue, and when he moved one his hands from your thigh to press two fingers into your cunt, fingering you in thick circular motions as he sucked on your clit, you were gone.
he continues, wet fingers gushing in a fast rhythm as you orgasm, grinding against his mouth, using him completely for your own pleasure. it was always a secret fantasy of his, and now it’s reality, even if his mind isn’t all the way there and the only thoughts running through his head are is she pleased with me? did i do a good job? do i deserve her praise? i should do better next time. i should serve her better. i only want to serve her.
and now that he’s completely helpless, servitude being the only concept he can comprehend, and you come down from a high so intense it took you a second to remember that leon was waiting patiently for your next command, next order.
“put… put me on the couch…” you gasp out in heavy breaths.
he’s strong, and he helps to guide you to the couch, body still part paralyzed from such an intense pleasure. you lay there, still breathing a little heavy.
“go get dressed and cleaned up…” you mutter to him, “and then come back out here and cuddle up next to me.”
he does as you ask, finding his clothes and getting dressed again, and then when he approaches the couch again, you reach out your arms for him. the smile he gives you is almost too real. too… really leon. you still feel that twinge of nervousness in your gut, but then he lays against you, head tucked into the crook of your neck, and you know he doesn’t know. for all that he’s good at, leon’s not a great actor.
you reach your hand up to run your fingers through his hair repeatedly, soft and soothing motions to lull him into a state of compliance.
“you’re mine,” you whisper, hoping he’ll confirm it back.
of course he does, softly, no longer feeling conflicted, “yours, ma’am.”
“you’ll be obedient and submissive from now on,” your voice is soft but carries a dominance he doesn’t quite think he could ever escape nor would he ever want to.
“i’ll be.. obedient and submissive.”
“you’ll only focus on my pleasure,” you say, knowing he’ll repeat it back obediently just like the ones previous, but you feel his rock hard cock against your leg and as much as you want to shove his cock inside of you in an instant, you can’t help but want to control him like that. keep his orgasms just out of reach until he goes mad from the teasing and edging you plan to do to him. keep him nice and horny and desperate, just how you like him. if he wasn’t submissive enough for you before, he is now.
“only yours, only ever yours, please…” his voice is soft and meek and god if you wanted to you could find a mind control that was permanent and just… leave him like this forever. let him take care of your home and future kids and do your household chores and tasks. keep him completely obedient, god it would be…
“you can’t resist,” you whisper, leaning into his hair,
resting your head against his in a soft intimate moment, “i can’t resist, ma’am.”
you nod gently, and after a moment, you sigh, running your fingers through his hair, “i’m.. i love you, leon. sorry about all of this..”
“… why are you apologizing, ma’am?” he asks, tilting his head slightly even in your grasp to show confusion. he really is just like a little puppy sometimes.
“you know.. about the mind control.”
he shrugs, the most unbothered happy smile on his face, “oh, that’s.. that’s okay, i’m fine with it. i.. already belonged to you.”
“but that was in a more… romantic way. an ‘i belong with you’ kind of way. not the kind i did to you,” you say, just a tinge of guilt holding you back, but you push it aside, “it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. i just.. just know i love you. even when i’m ordering you around.”
“i’ll remember that, ma’am,” he smiles up at you just a little softer, just a little more like his true self, just a little more leon. that heavy feeling of guilt in your gut will never quite go away, will it?
you fall asleep on the couch together, knowing or maybe just hoping you’ll wake up to leon not remembering anything. hopefully he doesn’t piece together that he has no memory of you giving him that hickey and those bruises on his hips were definitely not his job's doing.
you wake up to a fond smell of breakfast and a bright morning, sitting up off the couch as you look at your phone. leon’s not laying there next to you, which is odd but not completely uncommon. sometimes he goes out in the morning to work out or disappears in the middle of the night when he’s needed somewhere, but most of the time, and today included, he’s just in the kitchen.
you find him there, standing in front of the coffee pot, and you walk up to him to wrap your arms around his midsection, softly burying your face into his back to shyly hide from his gaze.
“awh, morning lovebug,” his sweet raspy morning voice says to you, a hand on your arms, holding you tight so there’s not even a chance you could let go, “missed ya yesterday. did you sleep alright?”
“...mhm,” you hum, pressing a sweet kiss to his shoulder blade.
it’s a sweet moment, full of love and warmth and tenderness and you could have almost forgotten what you did to leon last night had the smell of coffee not been hanging in the air. but hey, at least he doesn’t remember what really happened, though he’s kind of confused just how he forgot how he got all of these bruises and scratches.
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hystixia · 6 months ago
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i’m sure i’m probably missing some things as i’ve never had to do this and i’m sure this is terribly formatted and set up so i do apologize for the sloppy format :,) i do however appreciate all of you for all the support you’ve given me thus far and i am sorry for coming to u all in such a way. i never thought i’d be in this position but here we are. if you’ve read this far i thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time to read through all of this. any type of help is appreciated whether its thru commissions, tips, reblogs or anything of the sort. i appreciate every single one of you for all you’ve given me :,) you truly have no idea the impact u’ve all left on my life since i first started writing fics on tumblr. i hope u all have a wonderful day/night wherever you are <3
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adamnablelittledevil · 1 month ago
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The overall colorblidness, microagressive, tone deaf, racially insensitive or however you want to call it behavior of this fandom was already awful enough, but PEOPLE GOING TO A FUCKING PLANTATION, taking pictures with toys (a funko pop of white slave owner Louis btw) as if they're at Disney World and posting it so casually (further info here, here and here)? I don't even think you can go lower than that. That's one of the biggest offenses I've seen on fandom ANYWHERE, of any show/movie/book. I'm appalled.
And I'm glad this escalated enough to the point even British media outlets are writing about this, because WE SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE IT and people should deal with the consequences of their actions, though I feel for Jacob, Delainey, black fans in general and SPECIALLY NOLA natives will probably see or have already seen this shit. Specially the latter that have to deal with it on a daily basis, because even to this day the generational traumas of their ancestors and themselves are still exploited. The fact they may have WITNESSED IT IN PERSON themselves is disgusting and infuriating.
You wanna learn about racism and slavery in the U.S.? Turn to books and documentaries, if you can't afford them or find any in our country, if you can't ship international products to where you live because access to these things can be complicated sometimes, then read a blog or watch YouTube videos for free (just please check their credentials to know they're reliable and a professional, like an actual historian and check ACTUAL black sources and not white people who may undermine such topics).
You genuinely wanna honor and pay your respects to those people? Then, go to the places YOU'RE ACTUALLY ALLOWED to go, don't focus on taking pictures for social media, just sit down, reflect on where you're standing, pray for those souls, find a local charity that you can donate money to and/or work as a volunteer for a little bit IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP, because local communities don't need spoiled individuals who will just be lazy and fillers or cause mess and give them more work to do.
ALSO, shame on people who did see this and said nothing, specially if they spend countless time shitposting, sharing memes or talking about white characters and ships. This happened in late OCTOBER and it's been almost a whole MONTH. And somehow this is only being spread NOW because a British newspaper made an article about it. It should never have happened in the first place, but we should've acknowledged it by ourselves and not just because it went public? If you search the tag, you will LITERALLY ONLY FIND F O U R POSTS ABOUT IT, tops. AND IT'S BEEN ALMOST A FUCKING MONTH. Does this fandom need the Daily Mail or whatever source that was to act with some decency? Are you doing it to look good or out of genuine indignation, respect and empathy for black people, specially NOLA fans? I know some people genuinely didn't know because they avoid certain blogs, tags, block, blacklist and try to curate their dashboards in the best possible way to avoid the mess, follow thousands of blogs and/or a new to the fandom, which is completely understandable, but this WOULD HAVE totally blown up way SOONER if as a collective this fandom cared more. We're talking about some pretty popular accounts, some with 16,000+ followers FOR FUCK'S SAKE. I REFUSE to believe this wouldn't have gone viral sooner if thr fanbase actually wanted to combat racism in the IWTV/TVCverse. Anyway, MAY THIS FINALLY BE THE WAKE UP CALL THIS FANDOM DESPERATELY NEEDS, shamefully way too late, yes, but at least better late than never.
P.S. Sorry if this isn't articulate enough, has mistakes, typos etc, I'm on my phone, English is not my first language and I'm way too pissed to think straight.
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pinkinsect · 5 months ago
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going insane over shidou ryusei recently and seeing your posts about him being connected to hide songs are making me even more crazy. can i know more about your thoughts.. maybe what you think his backstory will be like.. (<- i have clinical shidou disorder)
hi sorry to hear about your shidou disorder. as a fellow sufferer i have to say it doesn't get better.
i don't have a set backstory in my head for him, just conclusions of things it's like from all of the supplemental info we've gotten for him. to succinctly sum up my thoughts about what his backstory will be like: Not Great!
tl;dr: there's so many dots to connect that anything could happen at this point. but i think that possibly, shidou's backstory is one of deprivation; either deprivation of physical needs, self-determination, or both. though i don't have a set idea of how exactly that may have happened, there's a few options—poverty, an abusive household, family members with too many expectations, too many restrictions on himself or his behavior. i wouldn't be surprised if he'd been arrested at some point (it's happened before. it could happen again) or if he had been in the foster system, where the aforementioned conditions occurred, given there's absolutely no mention of any immediate family members in the egoist bible—and he seems to really hate santa, though that could be for other reasons.
the rest of this is basically explaining why i think so—it ended up being awfully long (it turns out i cant Not summarize rocket dive/pink spider/ever free) so the rest of this is under a cut. let's go!
there are plenty of people view shidou as someone who is Just Horny And Violent; Born A Freak Forever A Freak. and you know what? i fuck with that type of character, but i think there's more to shidou than that.
during the U-20 match, he has his trademark "football is a biological phenomenon" speech (which is probably quickly overshadowed by its last line, "right in the womb," and i can't blame everyone. it is baffling), that gives us some of the first deeper insight into shidou.
"Every human on the planet wants to leave proof of their own existence behind. The act of passing on their own genes has been programmed into all living beings. They connect with others, wound others, do things that make them persist in the memories of others. Those who create something, those who want to become something, and of course, those who make children. They're doing something that leaves behind proof they existed."
shidou often says he wants an explosion, but another way to think about it is freedom. he wants the freedom to play the way he wants, to live the way he wants. and for soccer, that's through finding people he can create an explosion with—people he can play freely with.
(i think this has been acknowledged by other characters too; given shidou's placement on the Isagi Yoichi Type Indicator compass and noa telling kunigami to "take away [shidou's] freedom" by marking him. i choose to look into individual word choices in blue lock since kaneshiro seems to like making specific word choice relevant later)
shidou is all about freedom, and i think that could come from being deprived of it, in some ways.
a lot of the supplemental info we're given about him could be described as "things someone does just because they can." people often go through their lives taking certain things for granted, until it's taken away. once it's returned to them, you'll see a sort of appreciation that might seem a little out of the ordinary.
(personal experience, so it might not be great evidence, but plenty of people who've spent a lot of time in prison seem to gain a newfound appreciation for couches and making food late at night.)
his morning routine consists of "going onto the balcony naked and soaking up the sunlight, dancing however he likes, and yelling whatever comes to his mind ("stuff like capillaries and flesh rupture!!")." is it strange? yes, but to me it's an appreciation of freedom; one's free will to do and say anything, and to let the sun hit you while you're doing it.
something else that sticks out to me from the egoist bible is his favorite and least favorite foods; yukhoe and bean sprouts respectively. i normally wouldn't mind it, but the juxtaposition of something that can be so indulgent and really cheap produce is interesting to me, especially because of his reasoning for hating bean sprouts: 「フォルムが貧弱で萎える」, which I would translate as "They look weak and wilted," but the words used for weak and wilt can also mean "insubstantial" and "to lose passion." that extra translation detail could be a reach and extraneous information, but similar to my earlier point, kaneshiro seems to really like using words with multiple meanings instead of more clear cut synonyms. the top of shidou's scale being a rich, fatty dish of raw meat and the bottom being bean sprouts is interesting to me, and fits this picture of shidou that isn't necessarily hedonistic, but is "living deep and sucking the marrow out of life" in a very explosive way.
now a section specifically for hide songs because there's so much
as you mentioned, i really think that the hide songs will tie into shidou's backstory; an awful lot of the characters' favorite songs represent their character in the past or present. pink spider is his favorite song, and rocket dive is mentioned in chapter 253 in regards to shidou's goal.
for those less familiar with hide's work, pink spider was written as an answer to rocket dive, and the cd for the single contained a third track: five minutes and twenty-seven seconds of silence, then a short clip of ever free, the titular single released several weeks after his death.
all three songs deal with a desire for freedom, and to break out of the monotony of one's surroundings for something new—but with varying tones and approaches.
rocket dive has an endlessly encouraging tone, ending happily with a new star being seen in the sky (and this is a reach, but shidou's given name—ryuusei—is a homophone with the japanese word for meteor/falling star, ryuusei).
pink spider, shidou's favorite song, is about a spider so trapped in its surroundings it kills anything that comes close, until it learns there's more. and to reach it, it steals a butterfly's wings and flies and fails and tries again, and we never know if the spider succeeds at its second attempt at flight, or is resigned to watching the sky from the ground.
ever free's speaker is trapped on the ground, and faced with the questions "how much does love cost?" "can you eat a dream?" in response to their own questions about how love feels and what it's like to feel their dreams. but still, they dream of flying toward freedom, of escaping. like pink spider, and unlike rocket dive, we don't ever know if they make it off the ground.
despite the order of songs released being rocket dive -> PINK SPIDER -> ever free, i think that the order the songs represent shidou may be the opposite. he started, trapped, wings closed, uncertain, but had the dream of freedom inside of him. and though he may have hurt someone—or lost someone—in the process, he seized that freedom, and the expanse of the future awaits him to live in and make a name for himself.
something specifically about love being something that could be bought, or a dream being something that could be eaten, makes me want to think that shidou had a lot of expectations, or restrictions, placed on him as well.
hide in general is shidou's favorite, though, not just that one song of his. hide's live performances are high energy, and he's just really funny when talking to the audience between songs? it fits the massive amount of his songs are upbeat lyrically and about sex and desire, but an equal amount are about difficulty controlling unhealthy behaviors, cynical, or reflecting on one's own flaws and the loss of others.
the duality there makes me think of shidou's other favorites, chainsaw man and a clockwork orange—both media that can be, and often are, interpreted on the surface as simply spectacles of violence and sex, but are also acclaimed for their deeper themes. it could be like shidou, in a way. there's layers.
to sum it all up. i think shidou probably was in foster care. maybe was sexually abused. probably also saw a lot of bad things happen to other people, so it's nothing personal to him on a surface level, at least. he's out of that situation and deciding to enjoy the hell out of life. probably repressed and that's why he cries when alone at night (possibly nightly ?) for reasons he doesn't know.
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joanofexys · 6 months ago
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Hi! Sorry for randomly dropping anon into ur inbox, but I’m kind of in love with ur oc’s and I was wondering if you could tell me more abt Ilya? Ik u said they’re just some guy from Penn state and for some reason that really intrigues me lol.
Never apologize I love anons and I'm so flattered you like my little guys. Also sorry this is gonna take a minute and there will be many typos cause I'm typing one handed on my laptop while eating an icecream/my cat tries to steal my icecream bar, not that you needed that info
ANYWAY litte recap on Ilya:
22 years old
5'5
he/they, transman
youngest of 4, has all sisters
Played for Penn State
Now plays for Olympic Court
Goalie
Number 7
I haven't decided on what he majored in yet
Yeah he really is just some guy. He's the only athlete really in his family. One of his older sisters ran track in high school, but otherwise their family is full of musician. Dad is a middle school orchestra teacher, mom is a music professor, his sisters all went into the arts. He can play a, quite frankly, ridiculous amount of instruments and he enjoys them all but he's not particularly passionate about it.
His parents signed him up for little league exy because he saw exy on the tv once and wouldn't shut up about it/was begging them to play. His parents just wanted all of their kids to be happy so they caved very quickly and Ilya developed an intense passion for the sport that obviously never went away.
Ilya's oldest sister (Liliya) is 7 years older than him, the other one 4 years older (Kateryna or just Kat), and the sister after (Tanya) that only a year and a half older. They're all incredibly close despite any age gaps while also very much having a dynamic of lovingly bullying each other
Ilya kind of always knew he was trans and they were always in a safe space to express it. His parents used to joke that they had "3 girls and an Ilya" and they didn't even bat an eye when as a kid he went straight for the "boys clothes" and asked to be called a prince instead of a princess and only responded to being called a boy. At school it was different, in elementary school other kids didn't care but the teachers could be weird about it, and then as a teen other kids started getting mean about it. But his parents and their sisters were always accepting and they filled their house with enough love that Ilya never thought about being closeted or pretending to be someone he wasn't.
He gets recruited to Penn State's team as their starting goalkeeper as an openly trans athlete. His team's respectful for the most part. There are some people who just don't seem to get it, but they're never outright rude or transphobic to him. There are sometimes snide remarks and something Not Cool said on accident and Ilya is always quick to correct it and most of his teammates are decent enough to apologize and try to do better
And he talks A Lot about being a trans and generally queer athlete. He's happy to be one of those people out and proud for everyone who can't be. Ilya has always, unapologetically, taken up space. Not even focused on his queerness, just in the way he exists as a person. If he's in a room you're going to know he's there and you're probably going to know their every thought as well.
They care a lot and they take everything to heart. They're very much a "don't cry cause you'll make me cry" type of person. He's much more willing to take on people's pain and share their burdens than he probably should be.
And he has zero filter. While he's absolutely paving the way as a queer athlete and he has a lot to say to the press about that his press time also has to be limited because he will just say shit. He has insulted other teams, insulted specific players, shared information that he definitely shouldn't have, said "fuck" on camera too often to keep count, and a lot more. He is keeping the Penn State vs Edgar Allan Ravens twitter discourse alive and well with all the shit that comes out of his mouth
He makes his best friend his junior year. She's a sophomore named Alice and she's a defensive dealer. Her sophomore year she comes as trans, MTF, and Ilya is the first person she tells becuase he's one of the only queer people she knows. After that they're pretty much attached at the hip and Ilya would kill and die for her. Her family isn't super accepting so he takes her home with him for the holidays. His family becomes hers and they're more than happy to add one more girl to the family.
Ilya makes court right after he graduates and it's with Jude, Em, Mara, Florian. you know the drill at this point. They're the ones I never shut up about. And I think I'll largely be repeating myself and I don't want to be annoying with that so we'll stop there
Some other fun things about Ilya though:
he never learned how to ride a bike. he will never ride a bike. fuck no (he fell over and scraped his knee once and despite all the balls to the head playing exy that was his breaking point for some reason and he never got on a bike again)
he's a cat person
he teaches Florian ASL and it's the main they talk to each other cause Florian likes to go nonverbal
they were such a huge fan of Jude it took everything in them to not be starstruck when the two first met
the two instruments they stuck with were the violin and the piano
they have an addiction to strawberries
is almost always playing jazz music on a vinyl when they're home/have people over
he has a shitty autograph and Flor has begged him to "get better handwriting" since he signs so much stuff but he's fine with it being an unreadable disaster (Florian's autograph in comparison is gorgeous)
he is an unapologetic foxes stan after they win finals
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gomensbrainrotsyndrome · 9 months ago
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Main info about this blog
What is gomens brainrot syndrome?
Silly! Unserious! And generally: seeing and hearing good omens things where there aren’t.
More background info on how it came to be here
What are the rules for sending an ask?
1. Only one song per ask please
2. No spamming (no more than two asks in a row please, i get a bit overwhelmed)
3. If your song is not in English please provide a translation or link to translation
Why is my song not green, it’s SO GOOD OMENS????
First of all, this is just a silly blog and i dole out silly opinions. Second, the way i judge songs can be quite strict.
Green songs generally need things like heaven / hell / demon / angel / wings / apocalypse etc.
Yellow songs probably lack those elements but generally fit well.
Orange songs fit the romantic vibe but not much beyond
Red songs: you know what you did <3
What is ‘general blorbo’?
Your song could be turned into an amv for sooo many pairings in soooo many fandoms <3 love u though yes it’s good omens. Among others
Why aren’t anon asks turned on?
To avoid spam.
Why haven’t you answered my ask yet?
I am slow, sorry <3
Anything else?
Brainrot youtube playlist made by @zeldahime here
Brainrot spotify list made by an anon here
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lazaruspiss · 5 months ago
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recently realized that dick had a relationships with all three of his rapists beyond one incident, like he lived with liu and eddie for a while, mirage posed as kori for an extended period of time and we really have no way of knowing how long he was with catalina, this creates a pattern of people that he knows betraying him and using him for their own gratification
which makes me think of his relationships with his family and friends rn, if one of them started crossing boundaries would he accept it? would he even have expected it? if babs didn’t hear him say wait one night would he know that it’s a mistake or would he think “ah, you too?”
like he loves his family and trusts them with his life but I don’t think he can trust them not to hurt him and that includes sexually, part of it is the constant paranoia that comes with being a vigilante for almost two decades and part of it is unprocessed trama but thinking anyone could start to abuse him probably isn’t good for his health or for his relationships lmao
oh for sure for sure!! im also fairly convinced dick would struggle seeing any of those incidents as rape. the liu incident doesn't meet the proper legal qualifications, he was at times blamed by his own team for what happened with mirage, and so much plays into the situation with catalina that im not sure he'd even be able to process it at all. the murder takes priority, and he'd see it more through a lense of him failing to save cat than him being assaulted.
dick wouldn't /want/ to have been assaulted, so i don't think he'd categorize any of that as rape. if others cross boundaries, he might justify/minimize it out of habit. less that he thinks anyone could/would abuse him, and more that he would never recognize harm done to him as abuse.
(some notes for those without context on some of the stuff being referred to!)
liu and eddie: there's a storyline in which dick runs away at 16 (or as he puts it, one month short of 17) and lives on his own. by which i mean, most likely homeless. he works as a dishwasher iirc. one day, his coworker recommends these people who take in teenaged runaways and offers them a place to stay. it's functionally a gang that uses cult recruitment tactics to manipulate teenagers into doing their bidding. the /they/ being liu and eddie. dick is just another kid, and doesnt realize what they're doing until he's already pretty deep in it. there's a fair amount of bonding and attachment, with liu and eddie showing him favoritism and singling him out in a way that makes them his primary support network. eventually this all leads to a sexual encounter between dick and liu. something worth noting: the age of consent in new jersey (where gotham is and where this story is set) is 16, and as it was a technically consensual encounter it is incredibly unlikely for it to be legally classified as rape/sexual assault.
mirage: ok imma be real u gotta ask someone else for this one. or maybe read the actual comics bc tumblr is a mess when looking for actually useful info.
catalina: ok!! ok... from my understanding there was originally going to be a full plotline about dick being in an abusive relationship with catalina, but it was rushed/cut short so that DC could put nightwing in a batman crossover event. classic. but dick had already been trying to mentor catalina for a decent while before she started abusing him. tried to /mentor/ her. her hurting him? to dick, it would likely feel like a reflection on him. that /he/ must have fucked up for her to end up doing something like that. it's left somewhat vague, but we don't have any reason to not believe cat continued to sexually abuse dick off page. we see her get him drunk and try to get him to sign marriage documents, she wants to /possess/ him. dick is incredibly dissociative throughout the aftermath, up until DC needed to force him out of his own story arc to hold daddy bat's hand. sorry lol
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schwarzenadler13 · 2 months ago
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sooo i'm on a dwk brainrot and despite having a fic started since 2014 that i should really finish...my brain has just come up with something else and i just need to get it out so i don't forget
soo what's the deal with horizon and the silberlichten? like??
i once read a post that went like "we have to pretend horizon is a normal girl that on holidays she just goes destroying teams as a hobby" or something like that; found it:
i agree, in my other fic she's just kinda a nature spirit/fey/witch/whatever in that line that's having fun in her own wicked way
like that dwk4 doesnt end with "oh, you chose love over revenge, i now love you uwu"
but more like "can't a nonhuman girl just have hobbies? even if those hobbies are destroying teams/relationships and getting a boy harem? why do humans have to ruin things?"
sooo she's now vengeful and slightly psycho against dwk (mainly the brothers)
*cue time travel and magic shenanigans and a bit of attempted murder*
(oh, and marlon as a hostage pissing her off)
but well, that wasn't the fic i was planning to talk about (maybe another day)
in this one, she's indeed a normal girl but the silberlichten are just minions of a greater evil, which i haven't really elaborated on and temporarily named them schattensucher
(yeah, they're not the vampires from dwk5 or maybe they are, just that they're not vampires, but something else entirely, more evil and less tragic)
sooo we're already on the weird/bizarre part of the timeline which involves magic, so fantasy route it is
the schattensucher want to unearth donnerschlag, which in the books is described as the stadium of all stadiums
so why not a magic stadium? it probably has some kind of hidden power they want or something (sorry, still working on the lore)
now donnerschlag just opens through a combination of four powers which are handed to four football teams by the football deities? could that even be a thing?
one was horizon's old team and she herself handed it to them
the second were the wolves and horizon just got it through engineering the erik/jaromir drama (this required trial and error which may explain the silberlichten)
third are dwk (which is why horizon pops up in ragnarok) and the last are the biester but horizon doesn't know that
she just knows, through ✨magic sense or whatever✨, that dwk have faced them so she wants to extract that info out of them
horizon's original plan is just repeating what she did to erik/jaromir with leon/marlon but she starts having her doubts about that working early on
first of all, there's the canon divergence of leonessa being broken up because this is fabi/leon
i even doubt they would come back together after dwk3, nessie isn't blind
that means we get a less dramatic dwk4 (is it even possible given it's so intertwined with the romantic drama?)
(the wessel brothers go beyond the mist either way)
anyway, horizon can't go the freya angle on them, leon only wants to defeat her and isn't thinking about anything else(?)
and while she can definitely charm and manipulate marlon, it's not a foolproof plan
(i like the perspective of magic being involved in this because marlon being about to betray everything due to crushing on a hot girl is not one of my favourite things)
(like sorry, i'd like to think he's smarter than that, he seems to be smarter than that)
(so horizon going slightly daughter of aphrodite on him makes sense)
sooo she decides to kill two birds with one stone and gathers all the magic she can
(i believe the forest beyond the mist is also kinda a magical weird place outside of space and time)
soo there's the lake scene where horizon confirms she won't be able to pull the same drama with them as leon isn't interested
then she changes route: she manipulates the lake as a portal and puts a tracking spell on leon, then manages to get him swallowed up by the water until he's gone
(and with this, this is like the...3rd? time horizon attempts to murder leon in both fics...yeah, the little shit is very much a favorite of mine lol)
(although it's not like she does this attempted drowning in order to kill him...unlike in the other fic)
meanwhile in hamm, the biester + fabi are just enjoying summer on the lake
that is until one of the girls goes "FABI! COME HERE!" and fabi just hasn't heard them as panicked ever so he's very concerned
he immediately panics as soon as he arrives because the girls are taking out a body out of the water, a body he knows
(i haven't scientifically nor medically proofed this so excuse me if this doesn't make sense)
and well, fabi may very well have had phases of frustration/dislike towards leon that led him to desire seeing him defeated and humiliated
but he has never wished for him to drop dead so he panickedly tries to wake him up
"if he has drowned, we should attempt mouth-to-mouth resuscitation" *all biester look at fabi to do it*
(he would curse them if the situation wasn't so dire)
he does, leon coughs but doesn't wake up but at least they know he's alive and take him to the quarry
and well, this is just part 1 because it has just gotten too long all of a sudden 😭 i'll continue soon
pd: i may not really remember fabi's whole outfit from dwk3, but in the fic i can only picture him wearing half-skirts in ateez hongjoong's fashion :D
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pumpkinsy0 · 3 months ago
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its a vague one but ik u always eat with the vague ones... hc for pony getting hyperfocused on something??? (probably writing smth or a book this NERDDD)
omg thank u for having faith in me here im always scared ill fuck up the vague ones and IM SORRY I GOT TO THIS A LIL LATE, i was a lil sleepy bastard last night💔💔 BUT YKNOW WHAT ill make this a generalized thing cause i feel like this happens quite a bit for him that i cant just pin point this to ONE thing if u know what i mean
•fixations for pony r def a roller coaster because chances r it comes from like 3 things, stress (for the future or whatever else), trauma, or its just out of genuine enjoyment from something (ND king here)
•id say how ppl react to how fixation would def push him into to same sphere of him not rlly taking care of himself to some degree, however getting there r two different things and its all based on if its academic or not
•if its academic, everyone is basically pushing him to do better, and he feels WAY more stressed out, it gets to a point where thats genuinely all he can think about and he feels like hes justified in not taking care of himself, cause its for “something good”, he always needs to b reminded or forced into taking care of himself at this point
•so hes more stressed out, but doesnt FEEL that way, he feels like hes just “working hard” and those r the consequences of it
•if its something thats NOT academic, ppl tease him for it and so hes more inclined to hide it and wont fully commit himself to it, so while hes less stressed, he FEELS like hes more stressed bc hes going back to what he SHOULD n doing for his future
•either that or hes worried about if the fixation makes him more or less tuff, he cares desperately for how ppl perceive him
•ALSO, maybe this is y pony was so annoyed w darry for making him flip flop between “doing school work vs letting loose” other than the obvious reason of it like just being confusing for him as for what to prioritize/do, it also just made pony even more stressed because his emotions kept changing over it, he wouldnt consistently feel one thing and that was an outside factor that just rlly fucked him up
•PERSONALLY, i do think he hyperfixated on fire and writing his essay and on fire for a good long while, hes also hes fixated on a few movies before but i feel like hes a pretty picky movie guy so it doesnt happen a lot
•i think the only person who would ever realize that ponys gettin rlly into something is soda bc sodas had/has the same issue, only thing is ppl write sodas off as him just being quirky and pony as being like a “go getter”
•while writing his essay, instead of like writing in small burst, he would write for a good long amount of time, like in huge burst, spend maybe even a few hours without realizing bc it was like 10mins in his eyes
•with books, he doesnt rlly get into like that, like yea he likes books but i dont think its exactly common for that to happen, at least w like story books
•w non fiction factual books, bc its the 60s he does rely on those quite a bit for his other fixations to get the info he wants, u can find a couple books in his collection relating to his interest at the time
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driedupeyeballs · 10 months ago
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OH MY GOD???? I already love them sm
I literally edited a new profile for them for this cuz the old one was outdated BUT YEAH IDK IF THIS WAS AN INVITE TO INFODUMP ABT MY JAMIAZU FANKID BUT IM USING IT AS ONE
Btw I can only wish to achieve your level of snake knowledge I thought my reptile hyperfixation went deep but yours is deeper I wanna know your ways
But that isn’t relavent YEAH HERES MY JAMIAZU FANKID HI TUMBLR *lets them out like you would a spider under a cup*
So I have a shit ton of Twst fankids btw! They kinda swim around in my brain but only a few ppl I know have gotten the info dumps lmao
Skye was the first one I made I think (actually it might’ve been Rico (florid) but eh oh well who’s counting)
But yes this is Skye Ashengrotto!
They’re my older Jamiazu kid, I do have two. The younger one is my octo boy Akram :) he’s funny I wanna pinch his cheeks but he’s not the point here
So Skye! It feels weird publically infodumping abt my OCs like wtf am I even supposed to put here
They’re a half mer, which do work a lil different than normal mers in my lore. Half mers can transform without a potion but it’s still a long and generally painful process, esp going from mer to human. I kind of switch between calling them a snake mer and a naga but there’s lore there- Nagas exist in my lore outside of sea snake mers, there are also fully terrestrial Nagas. So the terrestrial nagas wouldn’t be considered snake mers but the sea snake nagas would be a type of mer while also still being a naga ITS CONFUSING DONT ASK (actually do. Ask everything so I can roll more of my fankids out like marbles)
Skye was created by a spell, I haven’t quite worked the details out 😔 but Jamil is part gorgon in my lore which is why they have the hair snakes which isn’t a typical naga trait. And to elaborate on the hair snakes: they are alive, the one w the bigger stripes is Flora and the smaller stripes is Jett. Skye can communicate w them telepathically and their eyes glow which is kinda neat. They’re kind of Skye’s version of floatsam and jetsam (unless u count Rico (florid) and Lilac (treyjade) which is like their ver of the twins- IDK ITS COMPLICATED)
idk what else to put here so LETS THROW SOME FHARACTER DYNAMICS YEAH and also mentioning some of my other fankids! They all have profiles (except my Malleus kid I’m sorry Aihan I can’t think of a design for you) but I’m probably gonna save those for another post-
So jamiazu in my lore live in the Shaftlands in a beachfront place and also live pretty close to Treyjade, however Florid live in the Queendom. The octatrio and their spouses is a close group so they’re essentially a big family. My treyjade kids are Maren (older) and Lilac, then my Florid kids are Rico (older) and the twins Mary and Eliza.
Skye saw Lilac more as a kid cuz they lived so close together but also saw Rico a lot when flrd would visit or they’d go to visit them. Rico is an agent of chaos and Lilac is Skye’s 2nd in command so their dynamic on a surface level is pretty similar to the octatrio, but there’s still a lot of differences once u get into the meat of it. Tho Lilac and Rico are Skye’s best friends and basically like siblings to them.
Outside of jamiazu Skye is particularly close with Jade, they share a love of tea :) he’s their cool but also slightly unsettling uncle
THEN THERES SHENZI- Shenzi is my younger kaliruggie kid and I am not gonna get into her here bcuz she rlly needs her own post w all her trauma but good lord these two do not like each other. Shenzi’s really nice but she’s not quite as nice as Kalim so after about 5 months of trying and failing to befriend Skye in their freshman year she just gave up and now their relationship is nothing but hostile (which was not helped when Shenzi and lilac started dating)
Speaking of that tho- so my idikei kids :) Ember (named after the pokemon attack) is the older one and he’s basically that “Jock idia can’t hurt you he’s not real Jock idia:” thing as a person he has the Fire hair n shit but he plays basketball and is heavily extroverted but no one gives a shit abt Ember this is NOT ABT HIM this is abt his sister! Her name is Zelda because you know Idia would name his daughter Zelda- she got all of Idia’s social anxiety lmao. She’s extremely shy and there’s a total of like 4 people in the school she can actually talk to without melting into a small stain on the floor. She’s an Skye are both in board games club and sometime in early freshman year she falls on her ass and knocks over a bunch of stuff which Skye happens to witness and cue the most awkward interaction known to man bcuz Skye can’t talk to pretty girls and Zelda can’t talk to ANYONE but they end up walking to the mirror hall together afterwards which becomes a routine. Except they’re both awkward as fuck take like almost two fucking years to get together bcuz neither of them are gonna do anything abt it BUT THEYRE VERY CUTE!! I love them
Also my ashengrotto siblings are very wholesome I need to write some stuff w them- Akram is a little shit and he loves pissing Skye off but at the end of the day he admires them and Skye loves their brother a lot :)
Anyway good lord I’ve yapped too much okay OH YEAH Skye has a Russian blue cat named Mariana who they just fucking found on the side of the road and thought it was a mouse so for like 2 years Azul thought Skye was gonna eat the cat
OK HERES RHE ACTUAL PROFILE these aren’t as chaotic as the other ones all the other ones are more meme than profile ALSO RHEIR UNIQUE MAGIC DOESNR HAVE A NAME AT THE MOMENT IF ANHONE HAS AN IDEA FOR ONE PLS SHARE I HABE NO THOUGHTS
(If you recognize my art style from instagram no you don’t also THEY DO HABE EYES I JUST DONT DRAW THEM CUZ MY STYLES WEIRD)
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But yeah I love them I hope they explode (affectionate)
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eyfey · 11 months ago
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Hello! I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering how long you studied Japanese for until you became good enough to do manga translations? (Or fluently read manga at all, really 😔) I want to help contribute to projects like that, but I feel I still have a long way to go until then 🤧
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so first off: sorry this took so long to reply to! when I first got the message I had exactly Zero free time, and then i simply forgor (whoops lol)
I actually already have a few posts sort of about this in my #translation tips tag, but it's been a hot minute so I might as well provide some updated info~
(under the readmore 'cause it's longggggggg)
How long have I studied Japanese?
A While. I had maybe a not so typical journey with Japanese... If you break it down it looks kinda like this:
4 years of watching a TON of anime to pick up basic vocab just by ear (this was in high school- I did not take any actual classes or even make any effort to learn the language at this point, but apparently I'm pretty good at just picking up things from hearing them)
4 1/2 years of actual Japanese classes in college (actual learning with like teachers and textbooks and homework)
1/2 year of study abroad that I managed to cram in before I graduated (additional classes and also constant speaking the language)
8 1/2 years since then (god has it really been that long???) (no actual like... studying during this time, but a LOT of translating... mostly Saiki)
So.... 13-ish years? if you don't count the first 4 that were just watching anime. And technically only 5 of them were actual "studying".
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How long did I study before doing manga translating?
I, uh….. I actually started translating manga about a month BEFORE I ever took a single Japanese language class.
(not recommended but like… here I am lol)
I had found some volumes of Pyu to Fuku Jaguar(a gag manga I really liked but only had 3 volumes translated at the time) at a used bookstore, but they were in Japanese so I just kind of bought them, downloaded an english to japanese dictionary app, printed out a hiragana/katakana chart, and then just went through the book: looking up one letter at a time, sounding out words, looking them up in the dictionary. I already knew a lot of vocab and had a vague feel for grammar exclusively from watching anime, but like also there was a loooooooot of looking stuff up. I don't remember exactly how long it took to read that first volume (at least a month lol- maybe 2 or more)
I noticed the scan group for Pyu to Fuku Jaguar was updating really slow (and/or had notices that they needed more translators? I forget it's been over a decade lol) So I figured: I can understand this well enough just reading it on my own.... maybe I can help???? it's probably better than nothing right?? So I tried my hand at doing some translations and uploaded them to the newbie board of a manga translation side to have people proofread, and then I emailed the group to ask if I could join. If I remember correctly they only ended up posting one (or none) of my translations?? before disappearing so I just kind of kept doing the translations on my own without uploading them anywhere
and then later when a new group took over they had gotten my translations from the previous group (or was it the translation site where I uploaded some?) and credited me in the release, so I sent them a message like "hey neato! I actually have like 5 more translations done, u want em?" and ended up joining THAT group to continue working on the series!
I started taking classes p soon after starting the translations, and doing translation while taking classes was actually really nice 'cause I had a place to pretty much immediately apply the things I learned in class, and the translating outside of class gave me a lot of practice for reading & a good head start for learning new vocab.
Honestly I think for translating, being good at the language you're translating into is more important than being good at the language you're translating from. Like: you should still at least SORT of know the language you're translating from (that is an important part of it too don't get me wrong) But like even if someone is perfectly fluent in Japanese, if they're translating into English but don't know how to make words sound good in English, then it kind of defeats the purpose haha.
(reading a lot and paying close attention to wording and stuff, and also reviewing and revising your translations will help with that part of the translation process- it's also a skill you pick up as you go)
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Tips for getting better at reading Japanese?
Honestly I think translating is one of the best ways to get better at Japanese (understanding and reading at least- it won't necessarily do much to help you remember how to write or speak haha) Reading is helpful to some extent, but you will probably get to a point where you understand enough of it to get the gist of whats happening, but then your brain will just sort of skim over a lot of the parts you don't know in the interest of enjoying the story without stopping. When you translate though, you're FORCED to stop and look up every word or phrase you don't know and double check things and sort of sit on them and think what it means and how you would say it in your own language.
If you're self motivated enough you can probably get some good learning out of language apps like duolinguo or babel or whatever, or even just buying Japanese textbooks/workbooks and going through them by yourself. Otherwise, taking Japanese classes is the standard approach (even if you don't go to a school where they offer Japanese classes, there are private options- just google Japanese classes or Japanese tutors online or in your area if you prefer in person)
This old post of mine has some more detailed tips for how to look things up, and some just general translating tips that I think are still p useful, but it pretty much boils down to "google everything you don't know until you know it"
also the 10ten extension is good for highlighting/translating individual japanese words in your browser (when they're written in kanji or kana) and the google translate app is good for taking pictures of text and reading it so you know what the dang kanji says (or you can hand write the kanji in there too- though I need to find a better kanji dictionary app 'cause google's doesn't really give you enough space to write)
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Sorry this ended up WAY longer than I thought it would but I hope it helped!
Good luck!!
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voidsquidd · 5 months ago
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I loved your post abt sh/ed stuff on the internet and im really glad someone is talking abt it to such extent but I wanted to ask your opinion on something. For me at least it is comforting to find people who struggle w the same stuff and have thoughts like mine I feel less alone in this world. Its hard to find ppl like that irl not only bcs ppl aren’t always open about their issues but also bcs you have to be extremely vulnerable with others to open up, talk abt it and perhaps you’ll find someone that understands you. If two friends are the same they comfort each other often feeling that they are the only ones in the world that understand each other but they also encourage each others behaviour bcs thats their life, they live off of that, they cant escape their pain. And if one of them gets clean the other will be torn for obvious reasons. I understand that young ppl are more prone to harm but they wouldn’t feel the need to sh or try to cut deeper if it wasn’t for the already existing pain. And sh or ed isn’t something that only exists online, yes it’s more glorified but they might learn it irl and due to the lack of info they might use more dangerous methods. On the internet they can learn abt aftercare, going to the er, infections, mental health institutions since irl very little ppl talk abt that, the dangers dangers of starving so they might just eat less, workout more, take their vitamins instead of going for highly destructive behaviours only bcs in their mind ‘if I dont eat I’ll be skinny’. People will always seek comfort everywhere they go and if they lack love and attention irl off they will think their groomer loves them and ‘they are mature for their age’. These are only the results of many issues and the primary thing in a persons life is the real world. Their family, friends, teachers. If all or most or even some of those people fail them they might think they have nowhere else to go so they live in the fake world that provides more comfort than the real one. If they are unable to find happiness anywhere they highly depend on the dopamine hormones that might be released through harmful stuff they see. People online who struggle w different stuff aren’t mental health professionals and cannot help themselves nor those around them. They can try but there is no guarantee that their efforts won’t go to waste or even be more harmful. They, like many people could see sui as their only way out of the pain. For some reaching out for help is not an option or they do not see it as an option. The ‘promotion’ of harmful activities are the only way for some people to validate their suffering and pain that they feel. They NEED to find comfort in something, find ppl that understand them and they unite through the mutual pain and their mutual issues. Im sorry that its so long and please correct me if any of the stuff I said is not true or harmful.
U do have valid points, which is why young kids go on it anyway. But I still believe it does more harm than good as I've seen that many times. There are places and ppl online that offer support in recovery and aftercare, who do not run shed accounts and don't glorify it, I'd recommend looking for accounts like that. Id also recommend doing research on mental health if u struggle with it as a better understanding will help u feel less alone, as well as give u better knowledge of ur behaviours and the reason behind those patterns. U can look up how to take care of a wound and find explanations for ur issues it that don't come from accounts that post their own sh and things like that. Ofc u can google how to make it worse too but you'd probably get a warning and sui hotline before any actual tips, and it's better becuz u have to look up seperate things, so if ur looking for recovery tips u won't see the opposite accidentally. Same goes for eds
As for it being from their real life and their issues, someone's real life won't have sm shed content, like u said its not common for ppl to just go and talk openly irl about it so it helps u stay away from loads of content. Like I said the internet can make u consume sm about it that it literally becomes all u think about, and hopefully irl you'd have things to distract u, even if not friends, u can try to find hobbies like reading and drawing to distract urself, or just avoiding pro shed stuff and spending ur time watching shows. I understand some ppl may have extremely abusive parents so doing anything is gonna be hard, but u don't have to go on places that spread and normalise it, there's ppl who denormlize it and talk about how they survived their abuse on places like TikTok and yt. They talk about these things and make u feel less alone but they won't promote it, show pictures, give out tips on how to get worse, they give out tips on recovery and getting thru it. One person that comes to mind is of herbs and alters on yt, she posts about her ana recovery and how it started, all the ppl she's literally had to see die becuz her friends we're also disordered.
And u mention that it's nice to have friends who can relate, but it's also good to have friends who can't but can still show sympathy for u. If two ppl struggle with sh or Ed's, they're gonna trigger each other, they're gonna relapse while they're both tryna get better and they're gonna have a very unstable relationship, where they have to keep on eye on each other and they eventually feel like they cant vent or open up becuz they'd be putting a burden on someone who is also in a bad headspace at the time. It's not healthy to have ur only support be ppl who also needs support, ur gonna end up dragging each other down. It's nice to have ppl like that but u need ppl who don't struggle as much who are willing to help, they won't get triggered or be too unstable to support u. For example if two ppl are struggling with sh and one of the relapses the other may relapse, or if one needs to vent but the other one is also doing really bad they're either gonna vent and make their friend worse or they're gonna bottle it up and make themselves worse. But if they have a stable friend who doesn't struggle, u can vent and ask for help without risking triggering that person or making them worse becuz that person doesn't have issues, at least not as many.
Basically ur support system needs to be strong enough to give u support, and if they're offering that support then going on places that will encourage u to do worse is unfair to them too, becuz they're putting in effort to help u and ur going to be triggering urself by going on sh edtwt/tblr which will give them more work to help u. And that's not even their responsibility, when u ask to vent, ur asking someone to step up and help u, they have no need to say yes, it's their choice whether they do or not and if u don't put in effort, they shouldn't put in effort to help u. Ur putting pressure on them, and ofc if they're in a stable place and want to help they should, but if u keep looking at sh or thinspo, and getting triggering and going to them, ur gonna tire them out and hurt them. They'll feel like their effort is wasted and either blame them selves or refuse to help becuz they see ur not avoiding triggers and are just making it worse. If u wanna get better then get off those apps and talk to ur friends who have given u consent to vent, avoid triggers and ask for help when u feel u need it.
I promise it's not hard to meet non shed friends online, so u can meet ppl who have good enough mental health to also help u becuz they don't have to worry sm about their own
And home life is tough, there's no way to just get out of an abusive situation, or make bullies leave u alone, or get irl friends if ppl don't like u, but there's ppl who can relate to that who won't tell u it's fine to hurt urself, I have met most my trusted friends online and they support me and each other, there's so many different types of ppl and some of them will have similar interests, u will find someone who won't judge u, u will find loads of ppl
I hope that makes sense
My dms are always open and I'm always ok answering questions ^^
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transvicquemare · 2 years ago
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walks in here talk to me about system harry <- system who believes so strongly in system harry
anon we r shaking hands 🤝🤝 system harry makes me have so many feelings he reminds me of how my system works so much.. (aka i am sitting here as the host while the peanut gallery in my mind has a Lot of commentary sdfds)
i dont tend to use system roles for myself but like a LOT of his parts function as protectors (or ‘persecutors’ i guess but i feel like most persecutors are misled protectors YAKNOW), they usually try to protect him in pretty maladaptive ways but they are TRYING .. like electrochemistry trying to ‘help’ harry cope by using substances and sex. half light reads like a trauma holding protector, constantly in fight or flight, desperately trying to protect in his twisted way as well. volition is also pretty clearly reads as a protector, who is often pretty important to keeping the whole system in check (usually.. sometimes they overdo it)
AND LIKE yeah a lot of the parts kind of act as fragments who are mostly fufill one kind of job, like hand eye coordination comes to mind. BUT some of the parts to me read as like deeply complex ppl. like physical instrument is often called coach like he has a name and everything!!!! to me he reads as like a bit of a memory holder of harrys time as a gym teacher.
and ANOTHER note on the complexity is the actual interactions the parts have with each other (the compromised scene around klaasje, and the ‘mr evrart is helping me find my gun’ thing come to mind) they talk and kinda bully each other. suggestion calls volition ‘crownhead’, they can see each other in the headspace mayhap.... 
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I DUNNO I DUNNO i could make a whole post talking abt every skill and their role within the system honestly its so interesting to me!! but man the way the system actually presents itself is relatable to me bc like Yeah there is differentiated parts but it is just more convenient to just act like one being, like we dont like to make it clear to other ppl who is talking or acting. i love systems who are very clear about that stuff!! i just dont see a lot of fictional systems who just prefer to act as like one person still, like me! and are really only open abt different parts and their names to a few people. 
i think harry does open up to kim about whos who eventually and while plurality is Not well understood in elysium, kim tries his best to keep up. he takes notes :D he learns to recognize when some parts r speaking !! some of them are easier for him to recognize than others.. the system can relax around kim which probably makes it a bit easier to tell them apart bc they arent actively hiding anything .. auagah i need to keep writing my system harry fic..
ANYWAYS yea sorry that was all over the place im sick and procrastinating my coursework LOL thank u anon for giving me an excuse to start info dumping abt system harry 
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shoezuki · 6 months ago
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It me ya boy alcoholic beverage, back again to scream about dungeon meshi XD
Wtf wtf wtf wtf. So much is happenin right now and I simply should not be stayin up so late (early?) to binge it T-T
Firstly Namari is freaking awesome. Love em. Strong dwarf? who knows her way around ore and love to see that she still loves her old party. Goin to check for Falin jus in case. Also love how she 1000% would kill Senshi for turnin mithril into a blade lmfao
Whatever is goin on with the gnomes and the magician blueprint stuff is sketchy as hell n I kinda trust the elves with that info more than them.
Tho tbh, can Marcille have it instead. If I met a dark magic user that was scared of bugs and genuinely loved her party, I wouldn't think twice about trustin em with my life. You can probably destroy the entire world given enough study time but you kickin it with the lads and tryna make a safe dungeon? Based.
Iconic bath scene. Love the sapphics havin a Moment™️. It's what they deserve. Peace and a heartfelt talk before everything comes crashin down around em.
The magician makes me angry!! I mean, they defo hold true to their name. Fully out of their mind. Would happily clock em for exactly 3 pennies. Tho I am hella interested in how they went from lil jester to obsessed with the prince n knowin all the dark arts. I wonder if they tried to resurrect princey n it all spiraled from there. Can't wait to see all that unfold in later episodes.
Also Chilchuck my beloved. Solidified as my fave. Jus barely tho, Laios was gettin pretty close. He acts aloof and disappointed but dude would be completely besides himself if any of em died. Feel like he'll try n scanper off once on the surface but not be able to bring himself to abandon them.
Marcille n the dark arts was a complete surprise like wtf. That's insane. But also hell yes, let the pretty elf lady go absolutely nutso and summon demons or something. She deserves it.
I know what Falin turns into cuz of That One Gif lmfao hut also hyped to see that all turn out.
Ever so slightly disappointed that Laios didn't lose his leg n have to get a cool magic one or something. N am desperate for him to have the sword looked at. Wonder if there's more to the lil critter or if it can help him further. Someone teach this man speak with animals, he needs to connect with the lil guy.
Senshi!!! Grand lad, not much more to say bout him so far but love that he's connected with everyone. N is intent on bein honest about everything he feels.
Love how the orcs went from standoffish to genuine allies. Love the sister's (dammit, I forget her name) attitude to everything. She read Chil like a book and recognises strength regardless of race. Also her fit is very cool lmfao.
Swordsman. Waitin for him to show up because wtf, he wanted to marry Falin?!
I went into this expecting a funny, chill anime. I blame you entirely smh. You made it seem so cool and lighthearted and now I sit at 6am with tears in my eyes because wtf the look on Laios' face when he agrees to go back to the surface. Not been so invested in an anime for a while!!! I stopped after ep 13 cuz my heart can't take much more.
I may have a brain cell when I awaken and come crawling back to cry more about the show as a whole or jus character things. Maybe screech about creatures tbh. I was genuinely distraught when the dragon ham rolled into the blood. Like wtf, I wanna see more dragon meals. I'm bein robbed of cooking content!!!!
~🥃
fuck sorry this has been in drafts for so long but. fuck yes dude i grin ear to ear readin what ur feelin a dunmeshi vsmsdvsudy. its so so so so good. feel free to ramble to me bout it all u want it makes me giddy
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franciskirkland-deleted · 8 months ago
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*presses 1 for more info*
*cracks knuckles* apologies in advance for long post but u literally just invited me to infodump and i am nothing if not a scoundrel so you might regret this <3 also sorry for answering late i had rly awful cramps yesterday and was like. passing out ough </3
anyway. i may have created a monster i may have had a stroke of genius. or perhaps just a stroke. i've come up with a polyship that blends three of my favourite france ships (sorry arthur...)
it has no basis in canon and i don't know if it's historically sound or sensical whatsoever but i dont care. fran deserves the most rugged lads around to keep up with her insatiable needs.
turkey, scotland and america.
according to my HCs sadık is what i'd call hypermasculine. ripped as fuck, with copious, thick, dark body hair - and a bit cocky. alasdair as well, he's shy but buff and hairy and chubby - the bear trifecta. i guess alfred isn't a bear in the truest sense of the word, like in my opinion he's hella muscular but not very hairy at all, prob shaves or waxes. he could also be chubby as a treat, why not? it is always morally correct to make characters chubby. (also, alfred wore a bear waiter outfit in the april fools ep so. honorary bear :3)
i also think the ship works particularly well with transfemme françois(e) but it could absolutely work with bigender/genderfluid male/nb fran too! (for anyone who's new here i always HC france as amab and some kind of genderqueer or transfeminine) but i digress!
so i don't know all too much about poly relationship styles IRL but i see this as being a closed, committed/exclusive relationship where it's fran (goldilocks) and her 3 bears all living together. they're all completely devoted to her and she loves them each equally. healthy polyamory isn't about giving 3 people each 33.3% of your heart, it's about being able to love with your entire heart three times over.
sharing a barbie doll like that isn't easy but fran makes sure that whoever she's with at the moment, he knows she's all his. the three guys bond over prioritizing her happiness, and despite the complexity of their lifestyle they don't butt heads too much if at all.
i don't really see them as being involved with each other romantically, separate from fran. they're brother husbands. saying they're like roommates with the same gf isn't unaccurate but would be way oversimplifying it. they're involved in each other's lives to a point where they're inseparable. they've all chosen to settle down together so their bond is on a much closer level than mere friendship, but it's mostly platonic?? ngl they probably do engage in foreplay together and make out a lil bit. they'd do it if their queen wanted to watch.
additionally i'm not sure if they'd be friends organically, as in without fran there to unify them in the first place. their personalities are all very different and have different needs in their relationships with her.
alasdair has a lower social battery compared to the others and needs more time alone, including alone with the wifey, to just sit and cuddle and talk. alfred is high energy and needs a lot of attention. (read: walkies. he's a puppyboy) sadık is pretty independent, but likes being treated like a king, so fran puts a lot of effort into impresing him and performing acts of service for him.
and in some ways, they're very similar. all of them have possessive, territorial qualities (fran loves a possessive man) while alasdair and alfred are the jealous type. aly because he can be somewhat insecure and clingy, alfred bc he's a bit immature. i don't see sadık as truly getting jealous, he's too self-confident, but instrad he's very competitive and dominant so basically same difference.
alfred is undeniably a boytoy and yet so much more. he's optimistic and uplifting, he makes her feel young and playful and never lets her get bored. alasdair is who she goes to when emotionally vulnerable, the gentle one who provides moral support, guides and empowers her. sadik loves to challenge her on a physical and intellectual level, encouraging her talents while keeping her on her toes.
those are just examples, their roles don't stop there. they make her laugh, protect her, hold her, shower her with affection and gifts, always look out for her best interests, praise her not only for beauty but the generous, warm-hearted person she is. whatever she needs.
even though it might seem like they're her manservants, she has three husbands to take care of!! making dinners and packing lunches, keeping a big house clean, keeping them comfortable etc. it's hard work for her to balance and nurture all these relationships, individually and as a foursome, but if anyone can do it it's our girl.
between the three of them she's rewarded generously... her poor booty tho... ok i suppose i'll stop there but please feel free to send more asks about them or anything else literally whenever <3
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