#I still can't figure out how to fix it
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In my Horrortale drawing obsession, I immediately thought to @n01r-kn1ght ‘s Horrortale Sans drawings and wanted to practice axe/cleaver-wielding poses. These are the couple tries I did. Please check out her/their original post I referenced here. Especially because she drew Horrortale Papyrus too! N01r gave me permission to post the reference material in this manner. Thank you, N01r as I wanted to share the comparison, some of my thought process, and comments.
#sketch#practice#digital inking#canon horrortale#horrortale#horrortale sans#fan art#n01r-kn1ght#thanks so much for the unintended reference!#HT Sans is unapologetically fun to do#i don't know why the middle one reminds of spookyflavor's sketch style for some reason#totally fine because spooky's sketches are great too#I am desperately hoping I am now released from my HT Sans drawing addiction#i really should be using today to study for my test#the cleaver perspective still drives me nuts#I still can't figure out how to fix it
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Every conversation I have with her listening to her foreboding choir music makes me feel like I'm in a cutscene conversation with the Final Boss, except that conversation never ends, and the Final Boss won everything before I was even born, and it couldn't be bothered to show up so it just sent one of it's teeth after me to make small talk, if only to have me recoil before it's pleasing sharpness. I adore talking to her and it makes me feel sick and hollow. why is this game so horribly addicting.
#disco elysium#joyce messier#i'm in my first playthrough trying to avoid spoilers#freaking out with a friend about it because oh my god#i died of cringe as Harry about 7 times until I figured how to fix morale and upped Volition#still getting a bit confused at turns never played a videogame rpg before#been playing it for a week and can't stop thinking about it
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i have... ✨Danyal Al Ghul Headcanons✨ but specifically for my yaelokre danyal oneshot
There's also the tumblr post here but I recommend the link in the title because its the ao3 version, and that one is edited and has some stuff in it that's not in the tumblr post, and will be the version I'm using.
So for summary: this Danyal is also from a Demon Siblings Au where Danny is five years older than Damian. However, things turned out a bit differently, and Danny and Damian had a fantastic relationship with one another. Danny loved music and regularly came up with songs to sing to Damian with. Specifically the folk band Yaelokre's EP "Hayfields" (seriously go fucking listen to it its sooo good. Harpy Hare is the second song but its my favorite. Special shoutout to @gascansposts for introducing the band to me)
He falls off a train when he's twelve and Damian is seven while the two of them and Talia are on mission. He ends up with magically induced amnesia and wakes up in Arkansas while the Fentons are on their yearly Divorce-iversary visit to Aunt Alica, and since he can only remember his name, he ends up being taken into their care.
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Yaelokre Danny has the same facial scar as Things in Threes Danyal, since he was initially another version of him where things turned out better. I'm debating on whether or not I should take it away however, and give him a different scar (maybe from when he fell off the train?), just because the scar is a pretty key identifier for Ti3 Danyal.
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Danny frequently visits Aunt Alicia in Arkansas! Well, only after he gets settled in and stuff. He doesn't really like the city that much and prefers the countryside where Alicia lives. I know she lives in a cabin but I'm changing it to a farm, so she puts Danny to work and gets him to help her.
I don't want to confine his hobbies to only being star stuff, because people tend to have more than one hobby and I feel like it reduces him to one-dimensionality, so he likes to garden, and learns guitar. His room becomes filled with plants, and he turns their roof into a rooftop greenhouse right below to OPS Center.
He has a complex relationship with the weapons from his past, but he's not... like... appalled by it? When he finds his weapons in the Fenton attic all he thinks is that they're his weapons, and he starts carrying a knife on him afterwards. Essentially he becomes fascinated with weaponry because its one of the few physical ties he has to his past, and while he's not training like he is in the League, he allows his strong muscle memory to guide him through his katas.
Danny likes climbing things. This causes Problems For Everyone Else.
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Danny was not the "kinder Al Ghul" in the League. His kindness extended to his brother and family, and that's it. To everyone else he had high expectations out of them, and the pride you'd expect from the grandson of Ra's Al Ghul and trained by its top members. While he wasn't like, unnecessarily cruel or anything, he wasn't merciful either.
This transfers post-train fall as him coming off as no-nonsense and unforgiving. He's not fond of the idea of giving people second chances, and is skeptical of the idea. He's disgusted by incompetency and views it as an unforgivable offense, especially if he thinks that the person should know better, although he's not sure why. Some egocentrism for the soul.
He doesn't like being touched by anyone who isn't family, and gets irritated when anyone grabs him or holds onto him for extended amounts of time. Dash has gotten hit so many times. With Jack Fenton's tendency for abrupt physical affection, it doesn't make it any better. I'd argue it'd make it worse because Danny doesn't want to be touched more often than not.
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Danyal had a red scarf in the League that he wore on his last mission, it came off before he fell off and caught itself on the roof. Damian still has it and took it with him to Wayne Manor. He's got it locked in his room and takes it out when he's alone and missing Danny the most. One time he forgot to put it away before leaving his room, and Dick was visiting the manor for something and found it. Damian found him holding it and freaked out.
Dick could only say "I've never seen you wear this, Damian, this is really pretty--" before Damian shoved him to the floor and stole it out of his hands, before screaming at him; "Don't touch this! You don't ever touch this! This is mine! You hear me!?"
It caused such a commotion that the rest of the family present came to see what the fuss was about, and Damian kicked them all out of his room. Dick is the one brother Damian's the closest with, so the fact he reacted so strongly shocked them all.
This is likely what leads to the "Danyal" conversation.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#yaelokre danny#yaelokre danyal al ghul#the yaelokre danny post didn't really go into him interacting with other people but i'm trying to figure out his personality post amnesia#just know this: he's not canon danny. im spitefully refusing to make him a Cookie Cutter of canon danny because the idea pisses me off lmao#he's complex and confused and morally gray even with the amnesia bc memories aren't stored in one part of the brain they're stored#in different parts depending on the memory and muscle memory exists and danny might not actively remember the things that shaped him but hi#body does. and somewhere deep in his mind so does his brain. his memories weren't destroyed theyre locked away in a place where his active#conscious can't reach. plus its magic amnesia and i have comic AND cartoon realism on my side.#danny's personality from the league doesn't get challenged that much by the fentons because danny's learning this about himself just as muc#as they are. Jazz can't “Fix” what's wrong with him when neither of them know it and Danny is always the first to figure it out and then#keeps it to himself. Also. Jazz has a fucking life? she's not the family therapist she has friends and hobbies even if we the viewers don't#see it. But also i just really deeply despise the idea that Jazz “fixes” danny's league issues just by existing and being the therapist#because it waters her down into a one-dimensional character who only exists in the context of providing emotional support and life advice t#danny. also therapy only works on someone that's actively trying to change. otherwise its just psychoanalyzing and people tend to hate#being psychoanalyzed without consent. which as a result may have them refuse help. anyways point is: i believe that growth is slow and#complex and danny would hide a lot of the stuff he discovers about himself because if there's one thing he still retains from being an#assassin. it's how to hide. he likes jazz but there are some things you just hide from people.#damian also told dick to “keep his filthy hands off his things”. which was also a shock because it sounded something he'd say more to tim#damian was distraught the entire time.#okay thats all i have for now.
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*is hold*
#ROTTMNT#TMNT#leonardo#donatello#michelangelo#april o'neil#rhinociart#we're not gonna talk about whatever's going on with donnie's eyes okay I can't figure out how to fix it#leo and april be like: what if our outfits were twinning tho#I'm sure there's leo x april shippers out there so [blows kiss] for u#meanwhile I'm just shaking them around in the You Coveted This Prison jar THEY'RE THE BEST FRIENDS EVER?????#still learning how to scan alcohol markers in a way that don't look like garbage ack
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it is barely 8 am and the univer is t e s t i n g me i SWEAAAAAAR
#first i have to be up at 4am to take my dad to the airport#then i get home with an hour and 10 mins left before i have to go to work but i can't go back to sleep bc i already got ready#and i wont have time to REget ready#THEN i get to work and cannot get onto my laptop bc theres something funky with the docking station that gives me battery power and internet#THEN once i get IT to help me with that#my normal desktop computer FREEZES while i am in the MIDDLE of working on this document#and thankfully it wasnt long since the last time i hit save but STILL#so i shut my computer off EXCEPT AT FIRST IT GIVES ME THE STUPID ASS 'DRAG THIS DOWN TO SHUT OFF PC' BUT HELLO ITS FROZEN I CANT DRAG SHIT#so i figured out how to shut it off#and i finally got it shut off but then i turn it back on and. the screen is still black#so i go bug the IT guys again and i bring one back to my desk but the second we get there OF COURSE the screen has reloaded#except i didnt completely waste his time bc it was STILL frozen#he fixed it thankfully#BUT JFC NO MORE#GIVE ME A BREAK PLEASE#mack rambles
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Sketch of Anduin's trauma.
#world of warcraft#anduin wrynn#varian wrynn#Do you ever see pictures of you from your past#when you were young and happier#and wonder where they went?#what happened to you#I need you back with me#I need you to help me#Wish you could reach out of the picture and tell me kind words that would fix everything#But you are me and I am here and sad and broken and I can't talk to you as you once existed because all that is left of you is me#Wondering how you would handle this pain but you arn't a different person and you handled it like i did which was bad#Its weird to look at pictures of me as a kid and I was sooo good at smiling into the camera and showing teeth and i just looked so confiden#And now i just. hate pictures taken of me. My smile doesnt include my teeth#and it is still my true smile#im told its not but it is#anyway#wanted to work on this more but i couldnt figure out how i wanted shalamayne to rest in mawduin's arms#Or if prince anduin's hand rested over mawduin's face or under it
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two kings
the quick initial sketch & line art
#still figuring out how to draw digitally but yeah i love them#some day i may understand shadows but today is not that day lol#king ohger lb#super sentai lb#umbrella.art#umbrella.posts#bi color background bc i can't draw the pieces in the back or i'll keep having to fix it
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Contact
Pain.
Every synapse and nerve ending in 621’s broken body burned. The sudden Coral surge was overwhelming. It felt like his brain itself was buzzing, his head spinning. Every sensor feed from his stricken AC was more noise than actual data. The last time he’d experienced this much misery in one place was his initial augmentation; unlike that time, he no longer had a larynx with which to scream. Everything was red. Outside, inside, even if he closed his eyes all he could see was that flashing, jittering, intense red. At the outer vestiges of his mind he could hear a voice; soft, feminine, surprised and curious, though he was far from capable of making out what was being said. He clung to the margins, fading in and out as his AC was thrashed around the interior of the Watchpoint. He was fairly sure he had faded in and out of consciousness a few times now. And what was that voice? He was no stranger to hearing voices - usually the med cocktail took care of them - but this was different somehow, more alien and external than a voice in his head had any right to be. Even in his dazed state, he could pick out angular changes in orientation, hear thrusters firing. Accelerometer data confirmed the changes, when his twice-fried brain could actually understand the signals. Was he doing that? Even his instincts had their limits.
“Raven.”
There was that voice again. At least she sounded soothing. Was this it? Was this the parting hallucinations of a brain that had figured out it was going to die? Something seethed deep inside him. This was not how it was supposed to end. He had not come this far to die in some Coral-filled hole in the ground. His AC systems read off a full readiness report he could barely even comprehend. He did make out “operator vitals stable”, so he probably wasn’t dying. Not unless the Coral in his brain decided to cook off, anyway. He also noted he had absolutely no outbound signal. He struggled to un-slump himself within the fluid of his control pod.
“Raven, you need to wake up. There’s a PCA craft on direct approach, it’s jamming our signal.”
Suddenly his mind snapped awake. Combat. The noise had died off and he could make heads or tails of what was happening, albeit with some difficulty. His AC was standing on the roof of the Watchpoint. How? He could figure that out later. There was a hostile incoming. If he didn’t get it together now he wouldn’t live to worry about getting out of the Watchpoint, or the voice in his head that was evidently not a dying hallucination. He was still struggling to function, though; his movements were sluggish and he was struggling to process his machine’s full bandwidth of data. Frankly it was amazing he was doing as well as he was given he should, by all rights, be dead.
“I’ll synchronize with your brainwaves and support you as best I can. Get ready.”
Synchronize with- what? 621 struggled to make sense of the statement, but it wasn’t like he had time to worry about it anyway. At the very least, his datastream had cleaned up, and his AC was moving better, though it felt almost as if it were moving of his own accord. Wait, is this voice doing that? Who the hell even is this? Radar tracked a large AC screaming down to the Watchpoint at high speed. It swung around and drifted to a stop opposite his position on the roof, a large biped with what looked to be an EVA extension pack on the backside.
“Scans indicate it’s an autonomous PCA interceptor, designation Balteus. Be careful.”
The machine physically reached up and dragged down a sizable MRLS rack, locking in for a salvo. 621 already registered the hostile lock tone. This is gonna suck.
“Main system: reactivating combat mode. Move, Raven!”
He didn’t need to hear the suggestion twice. He lunged his AC forward with a booster-augmented kick, dipping low to the right to drag the missile volley towards him before suddenly juking left, sending most of the flight slamming into the ground behind him as he loosed a volley of his own from the plasma launchers on his shoulders. They detonated against Balteus, a shimmering off-teal field shielding the body of the machine from damage. Of course it has a pulse shield. Fucking PCA. He staggered discharges from the laser rifle in either arm as Balteus started to move, bolts rippling across the shield as the autocannons on the support ring returned fire in kind. Damage reports were fed directly to his consciousness as stray shells splintered off armor plating. Balteus came to a brief halt, and 621 reflexively fired his machine’s lateral thrusters, just barely clearing a cannon shell screaming past his left shoulder. He took the chance to loose another plasma volley, slowing down the rhythm on his rifles to give the poor guns a chance to cool, thermal warnings whining in his head. Not like he needed them; he could feel the rain sizzling off the barrels. No pulse weapons on hand. The only way I’m getting through that thing’s shield is with brute force. He tracked Balteus’s orbit, keeping pressure on with his lasers as it came to a halt, gaining altitude over him. The lock tone buzzed in his head. Perfect. He fired off the transit thrusters on his AC at full power, scraping low again to drag the missiles clear before streaking up underneath Balteus. It started to evade but it moved too late, as 621 brought his AC’s foot up in a rocket-powered flip kick. Sensors registered the shield protecting Balteus drop, and 621 carried his momentum through, bringing his weapons to bear as gravity reclaimed his machine. This time his weapons struck true, plasma fields and laser beams finding purchase against Balteus’s reinforced hide. It started to move again, putting distance between itself and its target as more autocannon fire raked 621’s armored hide.
“Thermal spike, Raven, get clear!”
The voice called it out before he even registered it, but sure enough, gouts of flame built at either side of Balteus’ support frame. The machine came screaming forward, lashing a gouge of superheated fire across the roof. 621 barely jumped his machine clear of the sweep, firing off a wall of plasma bolts as he engaged retro-thrusters and put some space between them. Balteus came forward for another sweep, which he evaded only by slamming down to the ground. He dashed forward underneath Balteus, barely managing to keep his machine standing as he pivoted around to bring weapons to bear once more. The damned thing’s shield was already back up.
“Keep fighting Raven, we can do this.”
Gotta kick it again, it’s the only way. Back to square one. Focus. He kept skidding backwards away from Balteus, throwing in erratic changes in vector to throw off its aim with the autocannons. He shifted into a hard left at the edge of the Watchpoint, tracking as Balteus followed his movements along the edge and repositioned accordingly. It initiated a staggered set of dashes forward, firing off another cannon shell in the middle, before launching into another flurry of flame blade strikes. 621 struggled to keep his machine ahead of the assault, thermal sensors spiking well past the redzone as flames licked at his machine. Finally, however, Balteus slowed down. It’s energy was, for a short window, spent. There’s my window. Once again, 621 fired his transit thrusters and slammed feet first into Balteus with as much weight and force as his spritely machine could muster. Its shield flickered out and 621 proceeded to hammer it with as much firepower as he could muster at any one time, driving his weapons as hard as they could go. Balteus tried to regain it’s stability under his barrage, and he fired up the thrusters again, this time sending it drifting across the roof with a shoulder tackle. He kicked off high, continuing his barrage until the weapons forcibly quit fire. Flames poured from Balteus as it struggled to get itself under control. Flames billowed from several open blasts across the hull. Its thrusters gave out, and the machine tried to catch itself on its feet, swaying before buckling and dropping to its knees. It reached up and tried to drag its missile racks down for a final, spiteful salvo. However, in the midst of them sliding into place, several detonated in the rack, leading to a chain reaction that blew the entire craft to pieces. “Sympathetic detonation confirmed in enemy magazines; enemy craft destroyed. Well done.”
621 found himself huffing inside his control pod. Even if he hadn’t physically moved much at all, pushing an AC to its limits right after brushing shoulders with death takes a lot out of you. He took a second to collect himself. “Mind explaining to me who - or what - the hell you are, exactly?” He asked. Things weren’t adding up. Sure, a voice in his head could just be a hallucination, but his hallucinations never actively helped him drive an AC before. Short wave radio comms would pick up in his skull as well, but that PCA unit was very much jamming comms so that’s out, and there is zero chance of somebody copiloting an AC remotely over radio. “I am Ayre - a Rubiconian. We made Contact when you were subsumed in the Coral flow below. The surge of Coral throughout your machine allowed me a measure of direct control, and I was able to override the autopilot and extract you. The residual Coral in your machine is already fading, however… I am symbiotically bound to your implants.” Finally, a name to the voice- Ayre. It wasn’t just another mental side effect of his implants going haywire. Arguably, it was worse; he’d picked up a stray. How? Since when were there people in Coral? It was a mineral, a fancy sparky rock in the ground. It could do a lot of things, to be sure, but since the fuck when was Coral alive? “I understand that this is probably a lot to take in all at once. I tried reaching out to you before, but I… I guess you were still too far gone then to even understand me. Or maybe I hadn’t worked out how to communicate in a way you could understand.” “Well. Thank you for dragging me out of that pit, at the very least.” He said. “So, you’re in my head?” “Yes, specifically your cerebral implants. The Coral throughout your central nervous system acts as a resonator and allows me to exist within your brain, functionally as an extra brainwave.” “Well that’s grand.” 621 lamented. “As if I wasn’t enough of a wreck as-is. I’m going to guess you can rifle through my memories and the rest of my brain at a whim?” “That is correct, yes. At a surface level, that’s how I worked out your name, and worked out how to best coordinate with you in combat.” “Do me a favor then, don’t go poking around places you don’t belong. There’s places in my brain even I don’t touch anymore.” He chided. “I… will keep that in mind, Raven.” Ayre agreed. “Something you should keep in mind yourself: look up.”
In the gaps between clouds, as the storm overhead began to part, 621 could see the bare sky. Streaked through in red, churning as crimson lightning raged within. It traced clear back to the horizon, to the northern coast, where smoke and debris were only just beginning to settle. “That Coral surge you were caught up in was but a drop in the greater tide… and only a small taste of what is to come in Rubicon’s future.” “Fuck.” 621 found himself at a loss for words. How much Coral did we just release? What kind of well was that cork holding closed? “Raven, you need rest. Both you and your AC are in rough shape. I’ll re-establish communications with Handler Walter.”
621 looked to the-now smoking remains of Balteus. Maybe the PCA had a good reason for trying to keep the Watchpoint sealed.
#armored core 6#armored core vi#fanfiction#this is probably far too long form for tumblr#i'm gonna do the whole fucking game sooner or later#still trying to figure out how to do raven as a standoffish asshole#ive done far too much concepting of them being heroic#hoist by my own petard#also tumblr is fucking the formatting#i can't fix it#ive tried
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Hi! I saw your post about Obsidian (for note taking) and I was wondering how you added custom fonts? Or if there's some resources you could point me to that would help figuring out some tips and how to use it
hello!
so, the simplest method for custom fonts is to first make sure it’s installed on your computer (if you download a new font, right-click and hit ‘install’).
Then if you just want to change the base font in obsidian for either all of the interface, or for editing/reading mode, you can go into settings, then under ‘Font’, you select the ‘manage’ option, and there’ll be a text box/dropdown you can type in to find the font you want. Click ‘add’ and then that’s done!
If you want to do custom fonts for headings, or for specific pages/cssclasses (like I’ve done for Obedience and claws in my notes), then you will have to do a little bit of css, but it’s not as scary as it sounds i promise!
To make a cssclass, all you really need is a text editor. You can use notepad if you’re just doing a few little things, but if you want to start doing a lot I recommend getting one that’s more designed for it. I use brackets because it’s free and easy, but a lot of people use VSCode which is. too intimidating for me. and too much for my usecase anyway.
im getting offtopic. FONTS!
now, i am. out of date with all the new variables and also i write bad css, but the way I do it if I want specific header fonts is like this:
.markdown-preview-view h1 { font-family: COOL FONT; }
OR apparently, as I just learned in checking to write this, you can use ‘.markdown-rendered h1’ as the class. either seems to work…my css is very old.
now there is a way to do this for all headings at once without copy-pasting it for h1, h2, h3 etc but i don’t know how to do it right and at this point my css works and so i Leave It Alone
this only does it for Reading Mode, because i like having more ‘text-y’ fonts for writing and then pretty ones for reading when I’m done. to change things for live preview/source view, you need to do
.markdown-source-view.mod-cm6 .cm-header { font-family: COOL FONT; }
And if you want different fonts for different headers, change the ‘.cm-header’ part to ‘.cm-header-1’ (or whatever number of heading size you want.)
You can add things other than fonts in there as well, like font-size, text-transform, and other css classes. (this is why i like brackets, it suggests classes and property fills as you’re typing which is good because i. forget what the options are)
If you want to go poking around in obsidian to figure out which selector is doing what, hit Ctrl+shift+i on windows (for mac, I believe it's command+option+i), and it’ll bring up the developer console, so you can use inspect element to track down selectors. (selectors are the thing you put after the period (.) and tell the css which element to target)
I like to make custom css classes for things, and to make one of those, you just type ‘.classname’ before the variable you want to change. E.g. for claws it looks like:
.claws.markdown-rendered h1 { font-family: LEVIBRUSH; }
then to add that to a note, you need to add the ‘cssclasses’ property in the frontmatter. you can make the frontmatter with three dashes like this:
--- cssclasses: claws ---
or you can use the properties side panel and hit ‘add property’ and then make cssclasses. this then means that all the css wizardry you do prefixed with that class will only apply to pages with that class, which I really like for making unique workspaces for different projects.
adding your snippet
so now you've made your snippet, you just need to load it in. the simplest way is to head to Settings -> Appearance, and scroll down to where it says 'CSS Snippets'. Hit the folder icon, and that'll open the folder you need to save the snippet.
make sure you save your notepad or brackets or whatever document as '.css' first. you can literally just do this by right clicking a saved notepad document and changing the name to 'name.css' if you need to.
save that css document into the snippets folder, go back to settings and hit the 'reload' snippets button to get it to show up, toggle it on, and voila!
now what you can do is edit that snippet live in obsidian just by. editing it. and hitting save. it'll live update and you can tinker. that's all i do: have brackets and obsidian open at the same time and just. fuck about till things work. i like problem solving, so it's usually fun for me :)
resources!
Obsidian CSS Quick Guide - Share & showcase - Obsidian Forum → a quick guide to poking around and how to find css classes in obsidian
Headings - Developer Documentation → full list of css variables you can play with. this gives you an idea of just how many things you can customise in obsidian which is to say. all of it.
i also just recommend googling around about CSS and how to use it. W3 schools is usually my go-to, it’s pretty good. Or searching ‘how to do x with css’ and usually either reddit or stackexchange will have decent answers.
you can find fonts all over, and i know google is a bitch, but google fonts has a bunch of good fonts. that's where most of mine are from, honestly
#obsidian md#obsidian.md#this is such a quick and dirty tutorial but i hope it helps!#absolutely feel free to ask for clarification im still working on my 'giving tutorials' skills#most of how i figured out how to do things was frantic googling and trial and error so i am in no way an expert#my css is a frightening franken-mess we don't look too closely at but it works for me and that's all that matters#you can't *really* break things with css as well tbh#if it makes something weird just delete the snippet and it's fixed
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upsides of writing: having fun! writing scenes! figuring stuff out!
downsides of writing: oh my god i've used that phrase like 4 times already. stop it
#take a drink every time someone nods sighs or presses something or someone against something.#no don't you'll destroy your liver.#i can just. fuckin. always see the patterns and now i feel like it's being painfully repetitive lmao#i'm dying#i feel like i'm not adept enough at body language#so people just cycle through the same four movements over and over again. i can't figure out how to fix it.#it's fine. it's fine. i just. ugh. i feel like everything i write is so wooden and Bad. i'm suffering#it's fine it'll be fine i just want to be Done but i still have So Many Pages left#writing woes
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the worst part of break is the last day when you're just drowning in stress thinking about going back. i feel literally physically nauseous
#the stupidest part is that i'm so fucking stressed mostly about my fucking FILM class#more than any of my honors courses#i haven't done enough work in it at all and i'm so embarrassed about it so i don't want to start working on it and show how little i have#done so i get even more behind#i have a film i have to make and it's only half done and now i can't fucking find it in my files cuz i'd planned on working on it this brea#but i got sick and wasted 4 days of my already stupidly short break#i have TWO whole presentations on an actor and a director and i don't CARE or know about any actors or directors#i just feel sick#i wish i could drop it or just fucking fail it but i can't#it's so so stupid#i'm never gonna be able to take another class with that teacher from the fucking shame i feel actually horrible every time i go in her clas#and the worst part is that it's literally my fault i could have just done the fucking work and i didn't#kiwifae says shit#ugh okay this made me feel better i need to just figure out my actor director presentations (which are my fucking final btw 😭)#i accept the shit grade i'm getting on the film i can fix it if i make decent presentations i'm just mad i'm doing bad and getting so#stressed over a dumbass extra class like film production like what#i still don't think i can take another class with her she's really pleasant but i just feel so so sick whenever i go in there cuz i feel so#guilty#which is a shame cuz she teaches photography which i would really like to take#maybe senior year idk i might not care anymore then#also i'm aware this isn't a normal amount of shame and anxiety just for procrastinating i just feel super bad abt this for some reason#sorry for ranting but i'm just blehhhhhhh rn#ok i'm gonna get something to eat and take a shower maybe i'll feel less like i'm dying#👍
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i know i'm in the middle of writing a jamie backstory but i went back home to sighthill in glasgow a few days ago and it filled me with such nostalgia and warmth and grief that i NEED to write a malcolm backstory too
#jamie to me is more comfortably working class / upper working class#malcolm is more like me <3333#grew up with the bare essentials and had to work his arse off for anything else#i've always had that feeling about him i don't know why. and i feel like it adds this layer to him in canon#like seeing how working your way so deeply into the heart of the middle / upper class bubble can change you#but also the parts of your class / upbringing that never leave you even if you don't realise they're still there#i see both he and jamie's younger years and profoundly lonely#in that very casual understated working class scottish / british male way#no emotional support or outlet. no time or space to slow down or reflect. no room to process the loneliness#just trucking on and sticking in and getting on with it without allowing yourself to figure out if you're actually living#what i'm really trying to get at with jamie's story right now is this overarching undercurrent of casual isolation#he's not lonely. he's fine. but he is fundamentally Alone. he's out in the world with no one to help or rescue him but himself#it forces you to grow up fast and develop a really thick skin. and for jamie it's also somewhere to put all that energy#for malcolm it's more mental energy he's channelling. it's why he chooses academia / university#takes his mind off the parts of himself that he can't fix or deal with#i.e. the gaping hole inside of his soul + having a sick single mother at home who relies on him for most things#(malcolm is a mammy's lad with older sisters he reeks of that vibe)#anyway.
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Yuuki: I'm trying to move on but its hard.
@zebragamer2389
#askthebandits#yuuki mishima#sorry if the quality is ass I'm still figuring out how to do this#I'm a bby artist please be gentle about my abilities too thank#i can't believe the first persona 5 character I drew is this guy lolol#the second part of this ask will be answered separately don't worry#zebragamer2389#thank you so much for the ask!#also I fixed the ask box!#persona 5 au#persona 5
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trying to calm down and think about my life without the dreadful feeling of failure
#it's ridiculous how long it's taken me to figure out what i want#and i still don't know what i want#but im trying to be soft with myself and telling myself that it's okay to feel left behind by everyone#it's not too late (grits teeth) it's not over for me (claws at the wall)#why does giving yourself time have to be the most painful process#but im calming down and ill slowly try to fix things no matter how long it takes#ill get therapy#maybe retake my a levels#maybe go to medical school#or more specifically a veterinary college#i've been reading on forensic pathology or zoological medicine which piqued my interest more than aerospace eng ever did#there's so much grief but maybe i can fix things little by little#txt#i can't believe im going to put myself through this again
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How are you? What are your plans for this weekend?
They still haven't restocked my pink lemonade
Now I'm drinking apple juice like some kind of freak
I want strawberries, but The Creature (economical inflation) demands my left kidney for it
Bad. It's been bad, Anon. I hope your days are better than mine
Was hoping to go to the cinema this weekend, but I don't wanna risk it burning down like that one bowling alley on my birthday
#yesterday was especially bad#The thing about being on expensive medicine is that part of you hopes it doesn't work so at you can justify not buying it#Because if it does work. and it actually makes me better. it means the only thing standing between me and good health is-#-a monthly payment of a substantial amount of money that could've gone for food. That It costs so much just to reach the bare minimum health#other people take for granted#what's worse is that the knowledge you'll rely on it for the rest of your life#I rather be disappointed from the start than gain hope only to have it snatched away#I can't fall if I don't fly#I need to stop giving people the benefit of the doubt and just start ditching the second something seems off#then I have the audacity to act surprised when they turn out to be awful#maybe I wasn't built for friendship maybe being a hermit comes with being a writer#there can't be something wrong with all of these tens of people I keep leaving. could there? It's statically unlikely. extremely.#I'm the one common factor#I fixed so much how am i still stuck at the starting point. how am I still difficult. this is the best version of me i could ever amount to#my hair looks pretty tho. recently washed it and the curls are really curling#i look hot at least. i have this one thing going for me. being chronically sick results in a nice figure who could've guessed#yay. sxual obejctz. i win. woo
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Me, finally getting to the part of the chapter that DIDN'T need to be cut: Oh no. Oh no I can't use this either. This Ambrosius-panic-attack is too lighthearted to follow the dark Ambrosius-panic-attack I just subjected him to
#nimona#i promise i'm still working on the time travel fix it fic#as you can see it's going great#i think the main problem is that i'm old#so instead of doing plot things#i feel like i have to figure out how to let them do laundry#can't blow up the Institute in smelly clothes!#i gotta do a time skip#it's the only way#but we're in kind of an intense emotional moment#i can't leave them on their own who knows what they'd do?#not laundry
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