#I started spring 2019
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Just finished my first semester of college and it only took 5 years 🥰 (2019-2024)
#I started spring 2019#Took 4 classes. Dropped 1 failed another#Fall 2019 took 2 classes failed one (again. It wasn't even hard. Extenuating circumstances in both cases)#Spring 2020 took 1 class. Passed it but it isnt relevant to anything and was basically like#Required in order to continue at the school but had nothing to do with anything#And was required of everyone who enrolled after 2018#Then dropped out because Covid#Summer 2024 took 2 more classes (and passed them)#Like. Jesus Christ man#Also I've been working the entire time. I have never been in college without also having a demanding job
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He's coming back today!!!
#snufkin#moominvalley#moomins#moomin#moomins fanart#my art#my#art#drawing#sketch#the moomins#moominvalley fanart#first day of spring I'm so happy aaaaaa#and that means Snufkin's coming back to moominvalley :DD#I've been really into moomins again recently actually#cause I started watching the 2019 moominvalley#and ah#I love moomins so much y'all#and have so many sketches hshs#I love drawing Snufkin
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do u even remember how we started following each other (the first time) i just saw ur one of my earliest remainingly-visible notes on ny art from TWENTY-TWENTY and im like damn 1. its been that long 2. what did we possibly have in common then kjsf was it just IDs.
literally not a clue. but the date range is about right. if i remember correctly there was a route 'hey that post was turf shit' dm b4 any real convo. 2020 i think? so mutuals? or just one way following? for that long. really have no idea. a real zero fandom overlap at the time. just IDs. and i liked your art.
now im sure you didnt send this to give me a research project but i have a blog so i dont have have a brain so. tracking ur ghost on my posts. earliest confirmed interaction i found. oct 5th 2020. INDEED. image description bitching. there are earlier posts with the suspicious (x) notes but have only (x-1) users in the likes. maybeee there was one other blog who was a regular and deleted/got deleted but... not likely more than that.
oct 8. about shower chairs.
nov 11. loona is group, not a person
nov 13. reading the intercept is hard
dec 11. stars align sweep
suspected interactions: dogs and halloween fireworks (maybe on ur blog or maybe at a different fireworks heavy date?? oct 31, naturally), unrainbows your sprinkles (dec 1)
earliest rbing art: nov 17, dec 3, dec 18, dec 24, dec 27
#some shit#the indexers temperament moment... someone should pay me to do stuff like this lol#earliest posts i rb'd from you i could find was sept 5th. but i also didnt check much further back than that either#looks like we started talking more around jan 2021. and the rb form of reply convo has preserved that better#for a while thought there was a chance u were from before i took a blogging break? ...not a break break#but i didnt start personal blog again till 2020. b4 pandemy actually.#at the time. i tended to just check the blogs of whoever was in my notifs... u know. not knowing anyone i was following.#i never got a sense of how old your own blog at the time was. but if it helps i was jojo posting. of all things. winter 2019/2020#cr posting in winter/spring. 2020. mash blogging in summer 2020.#oh and i picked up blase ball benish impact and celeste all sometime in there lol.#AND A LOT OF. more politic blogging. lol. wild stuff in there. fjgbsjdhgjdf. which is were the first use of calling myself wifi came from#oct 27. fucking wild.#okay........ [posts this]....... dfmjs
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I finally made it through this damn stealth mission. I suck at stealth. It's been literal years that I've been stuck on this..
And oh! It saves up all mastery points you get even once you've hit cap for your current mastery, that's nice....
...1 million mastery points...
#warframe#maybe this was back in 2019 too#i think i was most active between 2018 and 2019#i started in 2018 and that's most of my memories of the game#which might be why i view any warframe released since spring 2018 as new warframes#what do you mean baruuk and xaku have several years im between their releases#and such
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Finding parallels in my own life: oh yeah it's all coming together hehe
#it is not#im just once again going to a town for organizing an educational event#also driving with a boy who has given me hugs/shoulder pats freely (he doesnt know im like a wired spring for human touch lol)#life is still uncertain#but maybe this uncertainty will end#you know. maybe something has closed. maybe something has finished.#maybe something started back in 2019 and ends now.#im crazy i know it does not work that way but like yeah. let me blabber#i woke up at 4am today okay i get to do thiz#this
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Folk were really into the post I made about Tandie, the zoo lion with a (then) undergrown mane due a period of time on testosterone blockers. He's having quite the glow up this summer.
But!
Did you know that manes are hormone dependent in both sexes of lion?
Let's talk about maned lionesses!
To recap the previous post quickly: the existence of a mane, and it's color, appear to be pretty heavily androgen-dependent. Neutered males or males put on testosterone blockers, like Tandie was, will drop their manes - but like Tandie, if taken off the meds, it will generally grow it back. Darker manes are indicative of higher testosterone levels, and long/lush manes are generally a good signal of a male's fitness and mate quality. Females seem to show a preference for males with longer, darker manes and other males will preferentially avoid scuffles with them. (Yes, as many comments have pointed out, that means Scar was actually a hunk. Do with that as you will.)
The fascinating thing about androgens being linked to manes in lions is that it goes both ways - females with higher levels will also grow manes!
Mane growth in females lions is most commonly seen with elderly animals who have stopped cycling and are basically in lion menopause. And they have to get pretty old for it to happen - captive lions generally only live into their late teens and early second decade, and most of the maned ladies I know about started growing manes around like, seventeen.
Not all old female lions grow manes, but some of the career cat people I've talked to said it happened to about a quarter of the females they've worked with over the years. Which... is an interesting contrast to the news articles about Zuri, who we'll meet in a bit, that breathlessly reported in 2022 that her mane growth "left scientists baffled."
Old lady lion manes are just... precious. They grow in first at the chest and then around the sides or on the back of the head, but they don’t normally get the length, density, and connectivity seen in the mane of an adult male. It leaves the lionesses manes kind of awkward, in the way I associate with very young males, and they're absolutely adorable. Prepare yourself for the photo spam.
I have to start with Daisy, because she's the only maned lioness I've had the privilege to meet in person.
I don't know exactly when she started growing her mane, but she was over 20 years old when she passed in 2019 with these luscious locks.
Here's another female at the same facility, named Adeena. On the left is a photo of her from 2021, on the right is from this spring (I think she's mid-sneeze in the photo). She turns 20 in October.
If you've heard about maned lionesses before, it’s probably because of Zuri, at Topeka. She’s the most recent one to get media coverage and she went a little viral.
(Just a side note here, but I have some strong feelings about knowledge loss in the exotic animal management world due to political/philosophical schisms. This is one of those topics where it's clear: Topeka told a reporter that the zoo had “never" heard of this happening before, but it's common enough to be well known as a thing in other sectors of the exotic cat world. There's so much expertise and knowledge being lost due to infighting between accrediting groups, and it drives me up a wall).
Anyway. Zuri had one of the best manes I've seen on an elderly lioness. It grew long and lush and she totally could have done shampoo commercials. I mean, look at this.
Zuri lived with her sister, who didn't grow a mane in her old age. Here's the two of them together, Zuri on the left, Asante on the right.
We don't completely know what's going on with these golden girls to cause them to grow manes. It's theorized to be related to the end of estrus and higher levels of androgenic hormones, although it's not clear if that's just due to lower levels of other hormones during "meownopause" or if there's something else also going on.
There was some speculation with Zuri's mane growth that it was caused by the death of the male she lived with, in some biological need to "take over the role." The zoo dismissed that idea pretty quickly, and it makes sense, although there is one other instance where I've heard of that happening before.
The cat people I've talked to say that older lionesses who grow manes don't tend to act differently - they're not taking over new social roles in their prides or anything. Sometimes they can be less active, or be a little more nervous around males, and want to be left alone more, but it was emphasized to me that those behaviors could also just be associated with the fact that manes tends to develop in elderly lionesses.
The mane growth can happen pretty quickly, as we saw in the photos I've posted of Tandie over the last year. Here's Bridget, from the Oklahoma Zoo. The left photo was taken in March of 2017 and the right in November - look how much hair she gained over six months!
The zoo did some research into what might have cause Bridget's mane growth, and found that she had elevated levels of androstenedione, which is a hormone that can be converted by the body into either testosterone or estrogen, depending. In AFAB people, it's known to have a masculinizing effect. The zoo theorized that this was the cause of her mane growth, and that the elevated levels might have been caused by a benign tumor. Fascinatingly, though, blood draws revealed that her testosterone levels were the same as her mane-less sister, Tia.
Tia is on the left in the photo below, Bridget and the beginnings of her mane are on the right. Bridget was 17 when her mane started growing in.
I don't think there's any formal hypothesis that there might be a genetic component to lionesses growing manes in old age, but it's interesting to note that one of Tia's daughters, Zari, also grew a mane. (And she grew it young! It started around age 13, interestingly, also right after their male died). She's on the left in the photo below.
And to circle back around to where we began: Tandie is related to a number of maned ladies! His father, Xerxes, was Bridget's son; Zari was Xerxes' half-sister.
Here's a few more beautiful maned ladies to leave you with. In order, Ngala, Pepper, Skye, and Dandy Lion.
Next up, and last in this lion mane series, is the story of five younger lionesses in Botswana who not only have manes but also express a range of masculine behaviors.
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A huge thanks to all the folk who shared photos of and stories about their golden girls for this post: M. Townsen, S.W. Simpson, E. Day, S. Cook, M. Stinner, M. Paul, K. Vanaman, D. O'Halloran, R. Simpson, D. Souffrant.
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What's A Soulmate? - Part 1
In which something magical begins.
Warnings: none, just a bit of mutual pining. but this will be an angsty one i think. Pairing: Lando Norris X SainzSister!Reader Words: 2.6k
Master List
(a/n: new series alert! friends to lovers featuring lando norris. this one will be several parts spanning from 2019 to present day. I've tried my hardest to make sure the timeline/race results are accurate but I may have adjusted something to make it work a bit better for the story line. this is a total work of fiction, purely for entertainment.)
youtube
February 2019
Woking, Surry, England
“This is not going to be a year of partying and laziness, Chiquita.” Carlos throws you a sidelong glance as he pulls his new McLaren into a parking spot early one February morning. “You are here with me to work, not spend your gap year playing.”
“If I’m here to work, then you can’t me ‘little girl’ while we’re here, Carlos.” You bite back, hauling your tote bag from the floor of the low slung sports car.
Carlos chuckles, throwing his arm around your shoulder as you both begin the walk into his new workplace: the McLaren Technology Center. “Fair enough, Chiquita.”
Last spring, you had graduated from high school and had spent one miserable semester at the University of Madrid in the fall before dropping out just a few months ago.
Carlos dodges the swat that you aim at his bicep, taking a few quick steps ahead of you as you approach the front door of the large white building. The sprawling MTC is an intimidating building and you knew that if you hadn’t been here with Carlos, there was no way you’d be able to find your way.
After spending a few listless months bouncing from Carlos’ couch in Monaco back to your parent’s estate in Spain, they had laid down the law. You needed to figure out what you were going to do for the foreseeable future if going back to University wasn’t in the cards for you at the moment. They were fine with you not going back to uni right away, in fact, they encouraged you to take a gap year but they expected you to do something productive with your life while you figured out what you wanted to do.
And that had been when your older brother had entered the chat. He had finished third year as a Formula 1 driver a few months ago and would be changing teams come the new season in March. In December, he had parted ways with his long time assistant, who wanted to spend more time with her new husband and less time traveling. Carlos and you had always been the closest of the four Sainz siblings despite the six year age gap (his 25 years to your 19) so it had been the most natural thing in the world to have you be his assistant and social media manager for the 2019 F1 season.
Up until today, Carlos had been attending pre-season meetings and putting time in at McLaren’s sim setup by himself but you had arrived at his flat five minutes from the MTC yesterday, suitcases in hand, ready to get started as your brother’s assistant. It had been ages since the two of you had spent this much time together and while you were mostly excited to spend the year traveling and reconnecting with your big brother, there was a bit of trepidation and anxiety sitting in your chest as you walked through those sliding glass doors this morning.
You were barely 19 after all, little real world experience and you knew absolutely no one in this entire country beyond your brother. All of your friends were attending university in other countries, far away from the world you now found yourself in. Yes, you were excited but you were also insanely nervous.
Carlos leads you down a long hallway, lined with trophy cases filled with motorsport winners trophies on one side and sleek F1 cars on the other. It was an entire shrine to McLaren history, of which there was a lot, and you were in awe as you followed after your brother. “Where are we going?” You ask as he turns down another quiet hallway, convinced you’d be utterly lost if Carlos asked you to show him how to get back to the front doors.
“I have a little office tucked away back here next to Lando’s, I wanted to get you set up with the laptop and sync my calendar so you could get yourself ready.”
You nod, ears perking up at the mention of your brother’s new teammate, Lando Norris. You knew a little about him from a few causal Google searches. He was 19 like you and this was his rookie season in Formula 1. From everything you read, he was a karting prodigy that had been signed by McLaren for a while and had been tapped to drive opposite of Carlos this year. Just knowing that there would be someone around the offices and on the road that was your age made the tight anxiety that sat in your chest ease just a touch, even if you two didn’t end up being more than acquaintances this year.
Carlos hadn’t been lying about his ‘little’ office. It was barely more than a broom closet if you were being honest. Just enough room for a desk, a pair of chairs, and a bookshelf, but there was a large window that faced south so at least there’d always be sun spilling into the small space making it feel a little airier.
You pull your MacBook out of the Dior tote Carlos had gotten you for your birthday last year as Carlos chatters away about schedules, press duties, and what he expected out of you. You listened carefully, taking notes in a little spiral bound notebook as you waited for your laptop to boot up.
“Are you in here talking to yourself again, Carlitos?”
Your head snaps up at the sound of an unfamiliar voice and you find yourself smiling at the boy standing in the doorway. He’s a few inches taller than you, with short brown hair, and bright green eyes surrounded by thick black eyelashes. The deep tan of his skin surprises you a bit, considering its February in England and you hadn’t seen the sun since you left Spain yesterday.
The boy’s face instantly sobers when he sees that your brother isn’t alone. “Oh, I’m sorry.” He blushes, hand coming to cup the back of his neck. “I didn’t realize you had a guest.”
Carlos laughs, “This isn’t a guest. This is my sister, the one I was telling you about Friday. She’s going to be my assistant this year.”
“Of course, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Lando.”
You stand, crossing the small office in just 2 quick strides to shake Lando’s outstretched hand, “Nice to meet you too, Lando.” You say, polite smile playing on your lips.
Lando turned around then, not wanting to intrude on the sibling time but also needing a moment to collect himself. He had known that you would be spending the season with your bother and that you two were around the same age but what he hadn’t prepared himself for was for how pretty you were. Your hair was even darker than your brother’s and it tumbled over your shoulders in layered waves that shined in a way that made Lando’s mouth go a little dry. Those dark eyes, round and doe eyed, threatened to swallow Lando whole and he’d barely spent more than a handful of seconds in your orbit.
He leaned against the door frame leading into his office, the sound of your laughter drifting through the walls. He had been used to the constant travel that was required of drivers of his caliber, having spent most of his teenage years on the road but all that time, he always had someone with him. His father, mother, manager. Someone that was ‘in charge’ of him and his schedule.
Now though? Now everything is different. He’s of age, a driver in the pinnacle league of his chosen sport, and totally alone. His friends are either jealous of his success or away at school and Lando often finds himself spending the entire weekend alone in his little flat down the road from the MTC. He was happy, of course, ecstatic that he had been given this chance by McLaren but the truth of the matter was, Lando Norris was quite lonely.
As the image of your face flickered through his mind, Lando felt the tight grip of anxiety ease just a little bit. There was something so open about the way you had greeted him, something about how easy your laugh seemed to come, that told Lando that you were a good person, someone that would somehow be very important to him this year.
“That is your teammates sister, mate.” Lando mutters to himself as he pushes off the door frame, making a beeline for the sim rig that was on the other side of the MTC, hoping that the time spent focused on racing would be enough to get your image out of his brain.
April 2019
Baku City Circuit
“Lando, I swear to God if you’ve slept in again I’m ordering fish whenever I eat with you for the rest of my life.”
Somewhere between Australia and China, you had morphed into not only Carlos’ personal assistant but also the assistant and babysitter of sorts to his stupid, idiotic, hilarious teammate. You adored the boy but most of the time he drove you to the brink of absolute madness.
“I didn’t sleep in! My alarm didn’t go off!” Lando groans, breathless on the other end of the phone.
“That is literally the same thing. I have one simple job here, Norris: get you and my brother to where they belong during race weekends and right now? You’re making me look like an amateur.”
“I just got into the paddock, relax darling, no one is even remotely close to being fined by the FIA. I’ll be on the fan stage in five minutes, meet me there?”
Pinching the bridge of your nose, you desperately try to will away the Landache, the term you’ve come up with when you get a headache caused by the Brit. “Fine.” You breathe.
It’s your fourth race of the season and while Lando and your brother were seemingly hell bent on driving you to an early retirement, you had never been happier. Managing the busy schedule and life of now two Formula 1 drivers had come naturally to you. Engineers and mechanics in the garage were always a little in awe of your ability to keep the two drivers in line and where they needed to be when. The communications team at McLaren loved you because sometimes, you were the only one who would be able to get the Carlando, as the duo was coming to be known as, to behave.
It was total chaos pretty much all of the time but you were thriving. You and Carlos were closer than ever, working tighter like a well oiled machine. But Lando and you? You two were the textbook definition of Partners In Crime. While you were the picture of professionalism on the track and during business hours, you were the other half of the chaos gremlin duo that terrorized half the grid.
Right now though? Now the chaos gremlin was the perfect paddock princess that had to make sure her best friend and brother got to the right places on time. You round the corner of the back stage area, desperately searching for the mop of wavy brown hair covered by a papaya colored hat.
“Lando!” You call, relieved when your dark eyes catch with a familiar pair light colored eyes. Today, they were an icy blue thanks to the bright desert sun of Baku. “I didn’t think I had to add ‘alarm’ to my list of race weekend duties.” You grouse, brushing at the dust on his team polo.
Lando shakes his head, easy smile spreading across his face. “Am I late though?”
You glare at him, “No.” You huff.
“I would never make you look bad, pretty girl.” He winks and your stupid stomach does its traitorous little flip that it’s been doing lately. It’s disgusting.
“Flattery will get you nowhere, Norris.”
“And please welcome to the stage, McLaren drivers Carlos Sainz and Lando Norris!” The presenter calls from behind Lando’s shoulder, interrupting your sparring match.
Lando gives you a wink before spinning around following your brother up the stairs of the stage.
July, 2019
Germany
“That was my fifth DNF this year.” The pain in Lando’s voice sends your stomach twisting. You follow behind him, hands wringing together, as he stalks down the hallway of the hotel in Germany. The race had finished up hours ago but Lando had just been released from media duties a bit ago. Carlos had been caught up in some post-race meetings so you had hitched a ride back to the hotel with Lando instead but now, as you followed his stiff frame stalk down the hall, you wondered if that had been a good idea.
“Lando, it wasn’t your fault. Your car lost power, it’s not like you binned it into the wall or anything.”
Reaching his room, Lando stops and pulls out the key before letting himself in. He leaves the door open though, indicating he wanted you to follow him. “I know that.” He groans, scrubbing his hands over his face. The hotel room is pretty normal where hotels are concerned, 2 queen sized beds dominate the space with a large flat screen tv on the opposite side. Lando flops down on the farthest bed, his eyes closed.
“I’ve barely finished in the points yet this season. Haven’t had a sniffing chance at a podium. I feel like such a fucking fraud.”
You had stopped just inside the door, wanting to give Lando some space as he had his tantrum but now, seeing how truly upset he is, you cross the carpeted floor and sit down next to your best friend. “Lan.” You coo, running your fingers through his hair, knowing how the scratches from your nails relaxes him. “Lan, it’s okay. You knew coming in, just like Carlos, that McLaren is in a bit of a rebuilding stage. This isn’t unexpected.”
The problem with Lando is that he is utterly too hard on himself. You had clocked the fact quickly, by the time you had been landing in Australia for the first race of the season, you knew he needed to work on his confidence.
“I know. I mean, I don’t know but I know that you know and I trust you enough to know that you know what you know is right.”
Your head spins. “Pardon me?”
Laughter spilling from your lips pops the bubble of tension in the room, Lando unable to keep the smile off his face either.
“You heard me.” He gripes, sitting up. “And I know -” He stops, glaring at you when you double over with laughter once again. “I know you understood me, you cheeky monkey.”
“I’m sorry but I’m just so terrified by the fact that I did understand that whirlwind of a sentence and can’t decide how to process it.” You say, chest heaving from laughing so hard. “We’ve been spending too much time together.”
Lando grabs the remote from your hand before turning on the movie you had both fallen asleep to last night before the race. “Are you going to be mean to me all night, or are we going to finish this movie?”
You roll your eyes, but toe off your shoes before settling against the headboard of the bed, shoulder bumping with Lando’s as he joins you. “Pizza or sushi for dinner?” You ask, grinning because you already know the answer.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Love you too, Lan.” You counter, pulling out your phone to order some pizza.
Tag List: @anilovessadbooks, @shelbyteller, @formulaal, @martygraciesversion381, @longhairkoo, @samantha-chicago, @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland, @chlmtfilms , @inarabee @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @charlesgirl16
*as always, if you want to be added to the tag list, leave me a comment or send me a message*
#lando norris#formula 1#f1#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#mclaren#Youtube
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A little foray into my gaining expirience
from 2019 age 14 ~185lbs thru 2024 age 19 ~240lbs with plenty of ups and downs
may 2019(14y) — I realize being fat might be kinda cool. I was about 180 lbs (I’ve been 6’ to 6’1 for this whole presentation)
Sep 2019- June 2020(14-15y) I take my first shot at gaining and aided by Covid lockdown put on a bit of weight(up from 185 to about 200)
June 2021 (16) end of lockdown and sitting at about 220 lbs —> for a while this would be my heaviest weight
I took a break from gaining dropped down a bit in weight (205ish)
Jan 2023 starting to bulk up a little bit again — about 215
March 2023: the growth continues up to 225 lbs again
I sat between 220 and 235 thru the end of the year 2023 but in December I had shoulder surgery and sat on the couch eating like a fat ass for a month
by the time februrary 2024 came to a close I was sitting at 250+ lbs of lard above are a few photos from Dec/jan 2023/24
I took a break from gaining again over the spring and summer before getting back on the train this fall — at which point I was about 220 maybe 225
Here’s me in November up to the low 230s
And December 2024 up to ~ 240
Time to see what 2025 has in store
#fat football#gay football#dirty bulk#fat teen#gayhunk#gay muscular#gay jock#fat belly#gay gainer#ex jock#weight gain story
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"I love sweaters. I did a film in England, and I started wearing sweaters every day. Suddenly it felt great, you know? And I went back to Mexico and now I sweat every day, but I still wear them. I got hooked onto sweaters; it's a good addiction.
I kind of like the idea of the pieces you wear reminding you of moments of your life or people that you've met, those key moments that you want to remember forever. I, for example, have the shoes of Tenoch [from 'Y tu mamá también'], and I still wear them. I mean, I have to wear them once a year because otherwise they break apart. But I do wear them, and it's a nice feeling to wear something that matters more than how it looks."
— DIEGO LUNA for C Magazine (Spring 2019)
#diego luna#diegolunaedit#swcastedit#dailymenedit#starwarsblr#mancandykings#flawlessgentlemen#chewieblog#flawlesscelebs#fyeahlatinos#usernik#tuserhan#tusercora#tuserpolly#userkosmos#tusernicky#tuserdaniela#useralison#userconstance#*#happy sweater season!! 🧣#hope you're warm and cozy no matter where you live 💗
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The Alchemy
Lando Norris x fem!reader
Two idiots.
THE 2020 SEASON
WINTER BREAK London, England, 2020
Formula 1 might be on a break, but university isn’t. I’ve been studying non stop and working all my free time to get extra credit so I’d be able to graduate early, right at the end of spring so I’d have the rest of the year more chilled out.
But being a 21 year old college student, living alone at an apartment at a college campus meant trouble, obviously, and that’s how after long hours of studying at the library, instead of being in my bed catching up on some sleep, I was at a frat house party.
The music was blaring and I was nursing my third drink of night, but in all honesty completely tired now that the alcohol had relaxed me.
I was sitting on the couch, watching my friends dance around me. I grab my phone to get some pictures of them when I notice a new notification.
Lando: what are u up to on a Friday night as a college student?
Lando and I have been texting non stop since the end of the 2019 season, our friendship solidified. We even hung out a couple of times in between Christmas and new years. And now he has been bugging me that I’ve been working and studying too much.
Me: I’m at a frat house party
He instantly replied back.
Lando: YOURE WHERE DOING WHAT
Me: I’m at a frat house party
I smirk to myself as I texted back the same question then before.
Lando: no way, you’re messing with me
I open the camera of my phone, scratching my arm out as I smile hazily before snapping a picture and sending it to him.
Lando: OMG ARE U DRUNK????
Me: yessss
I expected him to make fun of me, but his answer caught me a bit of guard.
Lando: are u alone?
Lando: who’s with u?
Me: my friends are around here somewhere
There a few minutes of silence from his since and I wonder if our conversation is over. He probably fell asleep.
My phone buzzes again.
Lando: how are u going home?
Me: I’ll walk back to my apartment, why?
He’s typing and typing and typing. I bite my lip anxiously, wondering what he’s going to say. Is he going to ask me to let him pick me up? Like in those romance books where the guy picks up the girl from a party when she’s drunk?
Lando: ok
My face falls momentarily.
Lando: I’m not in London
Lando: be careful and text me when you get home safe
I smile, so he was considering picking me up.
Melbourne, Australia, 2020
The world was insane, and I was going insane with it. I was higenyzing my hand every time I touched something. I was in an alert state of the coronavirus.
“They should have canceled the race.” I say, taking a seat with Lando, Carlos and Caco at the McLaren hospitality. “They are saying there are employees who got infected.”
I squeeze hand sanitizer on my hand, rubbing it.
“You’re talking about as if it’s some kind of zombie apocalypse.” Lando chuckles, draping his arm casually over the back of my chair “Relax, they wouldn’t keep up the race if it wasn’t safe.”
Carlos nods “Lando is right.”
I scoff with a tense smile “Oh, but they would. FIA doesn’t care about it, they care about the money. They always have and always will.”
The boys are silent for a moment before Caco nods his head.
“Hamilton and Vettel said something similar during the press conference.” He says “And they’ve been around the same amount of time you have.”
My phone rings and it’s Sophie calling. I quickly brings it to my ear, listening to what she has to say. My frown only deepens when she says two McLaren employees tested positive for covid and that there are more people around the paddock with symptoms as well.
I hang up the phone.
“The teams principals are gathering together to get FIA to cancel the race.” I tell them, watching as both drivers’ faces fall in disappointment “Two McLaren employees tested positive and there are other people around the paddock who are feeling ill as well.”
We gather our things and start to make our way to the McLaren garage, probably the news will get there first if the race is canceled.
I hang back on the group and Lando slows his steps to walk beside me.
“Can’t believe we just got back and we’re already going to leave and be without racing.” He groans, a whine voice a bit high pitched.
“It’s better for it to be canceled and you getting the chance to race again when it’s safer, then getting sick and ending up in the hospital.”
He sighs, shoulders slumping slightly.
“You’re right. I was just excited to give my all at this new season.”
I smile “I know, and you will soon.”
He smiles back at me, nudging me with his shoulder.
“So, are you gonna be able to graduate this spring?”
“I am! I mean, I’ve been doing everything possible for it to happen and I think it will.”
Lando smiles and for a brief moment his fingers brush against mine in a sweet gesture.
“That’s great. I’ll make sure to be there cheering for you at your graduation.”
And my heart flutters at his words.
PANDEMIC London, England, 2020
“Did I do it right? Are you listening to me?” I ask into the microphone I bought.
Lando’s face show up on the screen of my computer, grinning widely.
“Hiiii! Yes, you did. Now turn on your camera so I can see your face.”
“How do I do it?” I ask, completely lost as I had never used the app discord before. “Oh, never mind, found it.”
“Look at you!” Lando beamed “Are those bunny ears on your hoodie?” I chuckle as I put on the hoodie over my head so he can see the bunny ears “You look adorable! Doesn’t she look adorable, chat?”
I tilt my head to the side, confused.
“Chat? What chat? It’s just the two of us here.”
Lando laughed “I’m streaming, muppet.”
“You’re what?!” I screech “Lando! Why didn’t you tell me we’d be live? I’m in my pijamas!”
He laughs again “You still look adorable and the chat agrees with me.”
I huff, flustered at his words and at the fact that I’m live for god knows how many people while I’m wearing my bunny pajamas. If people didn’t take me serious before, they never will now.
“Now, here’s what we’re going to do.” He claps his hand, a mischievous smile on his face “You’re going to play LOL with me.”
“LOL? But I only know how to play the sims.”
“Yes, you’re going to play LOL. I think it’s the easiest for now.”
As I download the game and start to follow the tutorial, all while sharing my screen with Lando and him judging me at how I can manage to keep dying on the tutorial, I wonder how in the holy hell he managed to convince me to play online with him.
Finally, after an eternity, I finish the tutorial and I start to play with him. Lando keeps instructing me because I don’t even know what buttons to press on my keyboard and he keeps screaming that I’m not running fast enough.
“Oh my God!” I scream “I died! I died!”
Lando laughs delighted.
“My screen is black and white! Why is my screen black and white? Is my computer broken? LANDO!”
That only makes him laugh harder, that infectious laugh of him as I keep yelling questions of what I should do next.
My dad opens the door to my bedroom, peeking his head inside, looking concerned as he calls out my name.
“Are you ok, sweetheart?” He asks, walking further into the room “I can hear you screaming from the living room.”
“Yeah, sorry dad. I’m playing online with Lando and I died.”
My father chuckles, bending down slightly to look at my screen. He smiles at Lando while waving.
“Hello, Lando. Have you been taking care of yourself while quarantining?”
Lando smiles back as he nods “Yes, I have. Your daughter also texts me everyday reminding me what I can and can’t do. It’s like she thinks I will die because I’m living on my own.”
My dad looks amused at me, but he knows I’m right and Lando would have probably set his house or fire by now if I haven’t been instructing him properly on certain things.
My dad pats my head as he stands up straight again “I will leave you kids to it. Take care, Lando.”
“Thank you, Jenson! You too!” Lando smiles. “Now, where were we?”
Later that night, after four hours of online gaming with Lando, I lied in bed scrolling through my social medias. I couldn’t help to read the comments people were making about our live stream together.
Jenson Button worried about Lando I CANT
OMG y/n checking up on Lando daily to make sure he survives
So am I the only one who thinks there’s something there?
She can’t suck on her dads fame anymore bc he’s retired so now she’s going after Norris
I sigh, closing Twitter and putting my phone on the bedside table. People are mean.
Spielberg, Austria, 2020
July and we’re back at Formula 1. The season is being cut short, there won’t be fans attending, but we’re back at racing.
I finished my finals a week ago, just in time to go back to traveling. My dad gave an hour-long lecture about safety and health before finally letting me board the plane.
I haven’t seen Lando and Carlos yet, but I have met uncle Seb who is pissed off at Ferrari for firing him over the phone. I could tell for the way he was talking about meetings and stuff he has to do that he’s plotting something and I couldn’t help but smirk at whatever hell fire he will bring down on Mattia Binotto.
I enter the McLaren garage and I smile underneath my mask as I see Lando talking to his engineer. He turns his head when he hears my footsteps.
He basically bonces on his feet until he meets me halfway.
“Hi!” He says loudly “It’s so good to finally see you in person again!” His eyes are wide “Can I hug you? I want to hug you. I know I probably shouldn’t, but I want to. I haven’t touched anyone in months and and…”
I cut him off with a laugh as I wrap my arms around his middle, resting my head on his chest. Lando brings his arms around me, squeezing me onto his body.
“Hi, Lando. I missed your energetic aura.”
I feel his grin against my shoulder, even with half his face covered in a mask.
“I missed you.” He says back.
He detangles himself from he hug, but keep his hands on my shoulders. He analyzes my face.
“You really do look good with bangs.”
I chuckle, running my hands over the bangs I cut on my hair after a moment of reflection and desperation when I couldn’t leave the house.
“Thank you. It was a moment of… insanity, but at least it looks good.”
He laughs “Oh I know. You texted me like fifteen times saying you did something horrible and it was just bangs.”
I shake my head “Hey, to be fair you called me at two in the morning to ask me how to kill a wasp and I had to wake up my dad to ask him.”
Lando's eyes widened in mock sadness.
“Hey, your dad loves me! I’m sure he was very very delighted to be woken up in the middle of the night to give out instructions on how to kill a wasp.”
I snort out a laugh.
Later that weekend, after the race was finished, I watched as Lando parked his car in p3. It was the first podium of his Formula 1 career. He had been screaming on the radio during the last five laps and I was grinning like an idiot behind my mask.
He got out of the car, helmet still on as he ran to the team, letting them hug him and clap his back. The whole McLaren garage was in a frenzy of celebration.
I’m waiting for him by the parc fermé, to guide him to the podium and then to the press conference room where they interview the winner, second and third place of the race.
Lando takes off his helmet and balaclava and I see his whole face for the first time this year. He has a huge smile on his face as he runs to where I am.
“My first podium!” He yells
I smile “Congratulations, Lando. It was beautiful to watch.”
He wraps his arms around me, jumping around and making me jump with him as I laugh.
“My first podium! Oh fuck! I’m gonna get a trophy!”
I giggle, letting him jump around with me “Yes, you are, Lando, you’re getting a trophy!”
He then stop jumping and just gazed into my eyes, the smile never dropping out of his face.
“Fuck, I’m so glad you’re the one here and not Sophie.”
My heart leaps on my chest.
“I’m glad I’m here, too.”
Silverstone, England, 2020
It was the Silverstone Grand Prix weekend, there were going to be two weekends of races here. My dad had decided to come along since this is his home race and he wants to relive some of the memories.
I walk inside the McLaren hospitality with my dad who is babbling about my graduation to one of the mechanics that have been working here since his driving days.
I hear someone yell my name and I know that voice very well. I turn around and there is Lando, no mask on his face, grinning widely.
“Hey.” I smile back, walking to where he’s sitting
He stands up fast and lifts his hands up, holding a beautiful bouquet of pink flowers.
I gasp in surprise.
“I couldn’t go to your graduation because the attendance was limited, but I couldn’t let it pass by.” He hands me the flowers before enveloping me in a hug “Congratulations, love. I’m very proud of you.”
For some reason his words and sweet gestures make tears gather in my eyes. It’s probably because I was expecting my graduation to be a big even, full of people who I love and cherish and that didn’t happen because of the pandemic.
“Thank you, Lan. This means a lot to me.”
He squeezes me before letting me go. He wipes some of the tears that leaked out to my eyes.
“I know this is a special moment and you wanted it to be a big celebration. We’ll go out to celebrate once things get better, alright? My treat.”
I smile, hugging the flowers to my chest.
“You’re the best, Lan.”
He winked at me.
“Only the best for my best girl.”
My dad stood to the side, watching the scene with a smile on his face. I didn’t know that now, but he took pictures of all of that happening.
Krasnodar Krai, Russia, 2020
Carlos broke the news to the team two weeks ago during our weekly zoom calls. Lando had shut himself out the moment his best friend on the grid said he’s leaving McLaren to go to Ferrari.
He hasn’t been answering my texts or sending me TikToks. He even declined my calls and I was growing not only worried, but annoyed as well.
I knock on his hotel door late at night. My flight had landed an hour ago, I got to the hotel, showered and now here I am knocking on his door.
Lando opens the door, his curly hair disheveled and he’s only in sweatpants.
“You’re not room service.” He says
I glare at him.
“You’ve been ignoring me.” I accuse him, hands on my waist.
“I uh… I’ve been busy…” he stretches the back of his neck “a lot of work.”
“We work together, I know you haven’t been busy.” I glare even harder now “Stop lying to me.”
He stepped to the side and let me inside his room. I walk past him, going to the middle of the room as I stand there with my arms crossed. Lando sits on the bed and looks at me.
“What’s going on with you?” I ask
“There’s nothing wrong with me.” He answered too quickly.
“Lando… you’ve been ignoring me ever since Carlos told us that he’s leaving for Ferrari.”
He grows quiet and looks away from me.
I sigh. “Lando, just because he’s switching teams it does not mean he won’t be your friend anymore. It will be a bit different because you won’t be together all the time like the past two years, but he’s not gonna forget about you.”
He nods. “I know. Carlos already told me all that.”
“Then why have you been ignoring me?” I ask confused. I thought he was isolating because he was sad that Carlos is leaving, but if he’s already on good terms with it, than what’s wrong.
“Because I’m preparing myself from when you leave me as well.” Lando says, he doesn’t look at me, his eyes trained on the carpet floor.
“Wha- What?” I ask completely dumbfounded “What do you mean when I leave you as well?”
He runs a hand through his hair “You’re an intern at the communication department and- and you just graduated from uni. I know you will leave me at the end of the year as well. You’ll move on to much bigger and better things. I’m just… trying to soften the blow of being without you.”
There’s a moment of silence as I process his words. He still won’t look at me and I’m too stunned to speak anything. He’s sad because he doesn’t want to be without me.
Finally, I snap out of it.
“Oh Lando.” I whisper softly, kneeling in front of him and peering up at him. “Lando, no.”
He shakes his head “I know, ok? I’m not dumb…”
I cup his face in my hands to get him to stop talking. He looks at me in surprise and I can see the broken look in his eyes.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Please, don’t lie to me.” He whispered brokenly “Just rip the bandaid already.”
“I’m not lying.” I say, catching a stray tear from his eye with my thumb and wiping it away. “McLaren hired me to be their junior PR manager. You would have known that if you haven’t been declining my calls, you muppet.”
He widens his eyes.
“You’re not leaving?”
I shake my head “No. You’re stuck with me.”
Lando breaths out a laugh, resting his forehead against mine as he closes his eyes.
“Oh, thank god. I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
I smile, enjoying our close proximity.
“You don’t have to say goodbye. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good… good.” He mumbled. “I don’t want you to leave my side.”
We stay like that for a few moments longer, before he helps me stand up from the floor. Lando pats the bed and I soon join him. We lay on opposite sides, he covers us up and we stay in silence, enjoining each other's company as we fall asleep. Right now we don’t need to say anything, everything is understood in the comfortable silence that hugs us.
Abu Dhabi, Saudi Arabia, 2020
It was yet once again the last race of the season.
Lando had a great finish in p5, and although he had a happy smile on his face we took team pictures and toasted, I could see he was sad. This was Carlos's last race as Lando’s teammate. And I could see Carlos was a bit sad as well.
The team principals had gathered together and rented out a club in the city so the party would be just the Formula 1 team and drivers. We had been traveling together all year in the middle of the chaos of the pandemic, so we were all kind of in the same boat, if someone was sick, the odds of everyone else also being sick were extremely high.
I watched from a far as Lewis celebrated his seventh championship. I chuckled as he, Valtteri and Toto started a shot competition between the three of them. Sebastian was chanting chug chug chug and waving his hands around.
I feel the familiar presence of Lando standing beside me as he nurses his drink.
“How was your second year as a Formula 1 employee?” He asks me.
I smile against the rim of my glass. Just one year ago he had asked me the same question, at the rooftop of the VIP lounge at the paddock, hours before the last race of the season began.
“It was weird. My last year as an intern, next year I will have to reinvent myself to be on top of my game.”
“You’re already on the top of your game.” He nudges my shoulder with his arm.
“Yeah, but I still haven’t proved myself here.” I point out.
Lando frowns, turning his body around to look at me. I’m leaning against the wall and now he’s looming over me.
“Have you been getting hate online?”
I give him a weak smile.
“Let’s not talk about this right now. Tonight is about celebrating.”
He’s still frowning and opens his mouth to protest when I cut him off.
“How was your second year as Formula 1 driver?”
He chuckles, probably recalling the same memory from last year. He rests his forearm on the wall right beside my head.
“It was good and weird. I got my first podium ever. I also lost my first teammate…” Lando smiles a bit. “And I got you to be here with me one more year.”
I smile, raising my glass.
“Here’s to another year of Norris and Button traveling around the world together.”
Lando grins, clinking his glass against mine.
“Together.” He repeats.
#fanfiction#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#lando norris#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you
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I present the master Paige/Azzi youtube watchlist in chronological order of filming (sorta). I'm not including every game because that would take forever but I did include workouts that I've loved watching. Of course this doesn't have everything but maybe someone can help put together a playlist or something haha. I just wanted all the major interviews that I love in one spot tbh and I supposed this is also a great way for new fans to get to know these two players actually.
Spring 2019
Azzi Fudd wins Gatorade Player of the Year
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmI8Ochf92Y
Azzi Fudd’s remarkable road to recovery | ESPN Cover Story (technically this spans a lot but because it is about ACL, I'm placing it here)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6xpNyfPxsk
Azzi Fudd and Paige Bueckers after dinner at Cheesecake Factory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFzQocVgm10
Summer 2019
One-on-one with Azzi Fudd: Steph camp, Unicorn Fam, early offers and more
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgQeatZpetQ
Paige Bueckers & Azzi Fudd Battle To Be The #1 Hooper (July 2019 is 6 weeks after her ACL surgery)
https://youtu.be/eTbVfXufQsg?si=VF7bE-fB7P6-6tVu
Fall 2019 to March 2020
Azzi Day in the Life (photoshoot was on Jan 30, 2020 for reference)
https://youtu.be/enzGl05J-4Q?si=_LpwhC3M_OIP0clJ
Hopkins Royal FULL SERIES (season ran Nov 23, 2019 to mid March 2020 and it is over an hour long)
https://youtu.be/kAmSzerEoHc?si=h__o2wWSIbbdvVnl
No. 1 Overall Recruit Paige Bueckers Is a Human Highlight Reel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eT9P-96vA7k
Ball Is Life Paige Bueckers Day in the Life
https://youtu.be/mouE9jO9Y_A?si=O5P1W0iH5IZnCHSM
Spring 2020
Paige wins Gatorade Player of the Year
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IENvfOL-YIA
Paige Bueckers and Azzi Fudd 1v1 Against Trainer (date based on Azzi's IG post)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxWgLaCAm6I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQN8cFt1o00
Azzi Fudd workout highlights with Chris Brickley
https://youtu.be/KpWVfzZN7qM?si=Ns6D6Vl1Yt01VGIB
Summer 2020 (starting with May)
20 questions with Paige Bueckers and Azzi Fudd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaK2qM05t7Y
Buried Treasure
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEEEnYMibFQ
Purple Hair
https://youtu.be/nTmAQKScbUM?si=vCdOBMqK-mlDMkWZ
Quarantine Haircuts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTnDwiQc5qk
Paige Bueckers Receives Advice From WNBA SUPERSTARS Ft. Brittney Griner, Sue Bird, and More!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MagDKjoTA
A Day in the Life of Azzi Fudd
https://youtu.be/ILZCeNVcL1U?si=iouVrM2rEqIkSWAP
Paige Bueckers & Azzi's CRAZY Quarantine Day In The Life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_TmMlXPmB4
Azzi Fudd #1 HS Player in the Country & GTS Fusion BALL OUT Series (This technically overlaps with Fall 2020 especially with Azzi signing to UConn on her birthday and is approximately an hour)
https://youtu.be/nU24h5_vnBI?si=H8Ey8V9h6kDX-4l8
Fall/Spring 2020
Azzi Fudd Carpool Karaoke, Paige Bueckers FaceTime, and More | Day In The Life (Nov 5, 2020)
https://youtu.be/RmMe60uzbUM?si=lMLALlwBmRHK0kOE
Azzi Fudd's commitment live
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xdnt7TXIdw
Faces In The Crowd: Azzi Fudd
https://youtu.be/bIz7Z_vLZJQ?si=LKlDWLhwN2yDQ6uv
"Step2TheMic" podcast Episode #4 featuring Azzi Fudd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-idN_tl9cSI
Beginning of 2021
Sports Stars of Tomorrow Feature on Azzi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXep2STcYq8
Summer/Fall 2021
Paige's live of Jon Fudd eating Cicadas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkVkxsc8rKo
PAIGE BUECKERS | Day In The Life!
https://youtu.be/6CzGZQe1pRU?si=6AcXFcIsYigTEzi1
UConn Star Paige Bueckers Shows Off Her Dope Sneaker Collection
https://youtu.be/IZArJtbceys?si=TKp83pvp6Lz_Sh8-
Azzi Fudd and Paige Bueckers: UConn Women's Basketball Media Availability - 7/6/21
Paige: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0vKs7VjYb0
Azzi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGwUNtXSEE0
Both: https://youtu.be/bL4Jq2sFt0A?si=Fkl5eDxwl3V-8zL-
Chris Brickley Workouts (Don't know when exactly this was)
https://youtu.be/nkcLs9qkz8g?si=7Sd-ho-d6YxreJ-T
Slam Cover Interview
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HaJSLhx8xU
First Press Conference
https://youtu.be/JOuVS5RfsFA?si=lbcCMT_wX-u263W7
USF Presser (lowkey love this presser so much)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOdWM_xTO7k
2022
St. Johns Presser
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5v4BgJhEc0M
Azzi Fudd's 2 dogs, playing with Paige Bueckers and her relationship with her parents | Inside Look
https://youtu.be/U9vnxoyoEwo?si=DmyoMR7-j_SfpksJ
UConn stars Paige Bueckers, Azzi Fudd talk basketball
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szGAuDtsfkU
The Workout: UCONN Duo Paige Beckers & Azzi Fudd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YN5Gtzx1jt8
How UConn’s Azzi Fudd Balances Brands and Basketball
https://youtu.be/7VFgYc6eXiY?si=P5zYmtqxFYaNU-uh
2023
Kelsey Plum and Azzi Fudd Exclusive Workout
https://youtu.be/EmEO5aweU2Y?si=vAS60IQuieEtbRGQ
2v2 Azzi's Camp
https://youtu.be/VbYGpBW6SUs?si=H-8rYG7PjGUCr54S
Azzi Fudd at Curry Camp
https://youtu.be/-w0kjDPLhPQ?si=iwd0NKPMSyiaL8fH
UConn in Europe Special (48 minutes but not just them)
https://youtu.be/hhOfSaY9D-c?si=Ly2MnTfL4dbt2Ydh
How Kobe Bryant's mentality helped Paige Bueckers' ACL recovery
https://youtu.be/ugq1GLWqxPQ?si=3-6QaO81GovOA7Re
Sue's Episode
https://youtu.be/ZONny74MNWU?si=x0nG2Ny4HJDYirlQ
YOU'RE THE BEST, YOU SHOULD GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT IN THIS LIFE 💖. You make me precise timelines and you know how much I appreciate that, plus you provide me with Azzi videos (when she's starving us out).
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"Gresca i destrucció, riurem i ens penedirem, el cremarem el dimarts i patirem fins el diumenge."
"Party and destruction, we will laugh and repent, we will set him on fire on Tuesday and we will suffer until next Sunday."
I almost forgot the whole Carnestoltes and Vella Quaresma celebration when it literally goes hand in hand with OAUW themes.
Some context under the threat:
- The Carnestoltes i la Vella Quaresma represent the two extremes of the balance, the excess, "El rei Carnestoltes", and the abstinence, "la Vella Quaresma".
As the story sings: the King Carnestoltes brings party and joy for days, but after a whole week of partying, no sleeping and "sinning", the people find themselves exhausted, with their homes destroyed and no food for the winter.
So Carnestoltes is sentenced to death by the stake on Tuesday and on Wednesday "El dimecres de cendra" (Ash Wednesday) starts the 40 days of penitence (no meat, no eggs...) marked by the seven legs of the Vella Quaresma who loses one every week, ending in Pasqua (the return of Spring).
-The style is inspired by the nostalgia and softness of Pere Torné Esquius illustrations.
"Venedora de globus" cap els 1907 de Pere Torné i Esquius.
-Also, also, the demons represent the Correfocs, pyrotechnics spectacles made by adults and children dressed as demons throwing fire and spurns around.
Diables de les Corts fotos de Albert Pedra 2019
Which is the coolest thing ever. Also there's dragons dances.
Correfoc de Manresa 2011
This is a threat for you to forget Sant Valentine and go watch Correfocs-
#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#gideon coal#kremy lecroux#gricko grimgrin#morning frost#hootsie grimgrin#torbek#twig#bavlorna blightstraw#endelyn moongrave#skabatha nightshade#jaaberwock#tw long post#tw body horror#you're gonna listen me talk about my culture and you will like it-
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The Addams Family Through the Years
Before I get into character profiles, let me first do a run-through of the incarnations of the Addams family through the years.
As I wrote in my first post, Charles Addams created the nameless, bizarre family in some of the many comics he drew for The New Yorker starting in 1938. Morticia and Wednesday were named in 1962 when dolls of them were released. Charles Addams was asked for a list of names and descriptions for them and the other family members when the TV show was in development in 1963, but had little other involvement with the show.
The show ran for two seasons from 1964 to 1966, totalling 64 episodes. This was the same time that a similar show, The Munsters, was also on the air. Both shows were about wacky families of monstrous weirdos living in American suburbia. Both were in black and white, and both were canceled in 1966, possibly due to the rise of color television.
After a cross-over with Scooby-Doo, Hanna-Barbera produced a 16-episode animated series in 1973 which featured the family on a road trip in a creepy camper that looked like their mansion. It featured the same actors who played Lurch and Fester voicing their previous characters, and a 10-year-old Jodie Foster as the voice of Pugsley!
There was a reunion special in 1977, which reunited most of the cast of the show, called Halloween with the New Addams Family. The original show had remained popular, running in syndication for years. It was especially popular in Australia. According to one fan, this was because the Addams family was “less American” than the Munsters.
In 1991, a feature film was released after a tumultuous production. Raul Julia became the new face of Gomez Addams in the popular consciousness. It was followed by a sequel called Addams Family Values in 1993, and in between there was another animated series. John Astin reprised his role as Gomez in that animated series.
There were plans to continue the film series, but Raul Julia suffered from stomach cancer and died suddenly in 1994, canceling those plans. Although both films performed poorly at the box office, they gained a loyal following on home video and remain popular to this day. In 1992, an Addams family pinball machine was produced featuring original voice acting from Raul Julia as Gomez and Angelica Huston as Morticia. It became the most popular pinball machine of all time, selling over 20,000 units.
In 1998, a TV movie called Addams Family Reunion was produced by Saban, featuring Tim Curry as Gomez and Daryl Hannah as Morticia. The only returning actors from the 1991/93 movies were Carel Struycken and Christopher Hart's hand, who played Lurch and Thing, respectively. I have not seen it, and can not attest to its quality, or lack thereof. That movie was also meant to be the pilot for a TV show called The New Addams Family, but most of the cast was different. It ran for 65 episodes, none of which have I seen. (Hat tip to @tenthirtyone for pointing this out.)
After a try-out in Chicago, a musical debuted on Broadway in 2010. I was lucky enough to see that for my birthday that year. It starred Nathan Lane as Gomez and Bebe Neuwirth as Morticia. It was pretty entertaining. It would have been better if Lane wasn’t trying to be Raul Julia. He did a very fake Spanish accent, and it was terribly distracting. The musical was panned by critics and didn’t last long, but it was popular enough that it is now performed by high schools across the country. In fact, my friend Sarah and my cousin Charlie were both involved with different productions of it this past Spring.
That same year (2010), the rights were purchased by Illumination Entertainment, and they announced that they were going to produce a stop-motion film with Tim Burton. However, he decided to go with computer animation instead. That eventually turned into the 2019 film, after Tim Burton dropped out. This version was the closest in appearance to the original comics. Although the characters are rendered in 3D, the animators aimed to make them look as much like Charles Addams’ drawings as possible.
You’d think Tim Burton had been involved since at least the 1991 movie, but he hadn’t. Black and white stripes? Bats? Other goth things? That sounds like Tim Burton, but oddly enough, he actually hasn’t been attached to any Addams Family property until the Netflix show in 2022. It’s a natural pairing, and perhaps he would have been great friends with Charles Addams, had he been born several decades earlier.
Now the Netflix show, centered on Wednesday, is in production for its second season after its first season was one of the streaming service's most popular shows to date. It's not the first time the Addams family has spawned a viral dance sensation. Way back in the 1960s, the original TV show started a dance craze called “the Lurch”.
In coming posts, I’ll go into how Charles Addams originally portrayed each of the nine characters in the Addams family pictured above (Gomez, Morticia, Pugsley, Wednesday, Fester, Grandmama, Lurch, Thing, and Cousin Itt) and how they evolved, or didn’t, over time.
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A Summary of the 🎃 Messages--The Overarching Story
So I just realized sth abt the 🎃 messages while listening to ttpd—they’re in chronological order!! I am going to try to give a summary of these messages and explain why I believe this. This album has made 99% of her songs, mvs, metaphors, and symbols make perfect sense. There were always some things like getaway car, cruel summer, and the palm trees in rep era that I could never quite figure out but now it's all crystal clear. It's like ttpd is the last piece of the puzzle needed to make everything fall right into place and to see the whole messy complicated story. One thing I want you to take note of as you read this summary is how incredibly consistent Taylor is w her use of metaphors and symbols. This makes solving the puzzle that is her music more like solving a cypher that you can know you solved correctly bc all the symbols will fit together perfectly just like a secret code. Once you understand what one symbol represents you now know what it means every time you see it. Every word or phrase she uses is intentional and there's not a single easter egg that's out of place. You'll notice in ttpd there are several words and phrases that are repeated bc she wants us to know that certain songs are related. 🎃 anon said there would be many connections and foretellings in the messages that we could find if we held them to the light in the coming unfoldings, and boy they were not wrong. So w/out further ado let's get into it (just a warning though this will be pretty lengthy so grab your favorite drink, some snacks, and get comfy).
1st message: The first one starts right before rep era when her rep started going down and she started feuding w her record label. These are the obstacles she didn’t see coming that made her slam on the (getaway bike) brakes (which were cut so she had to use her foot to slow down) and not come out. The "heel damaged" could be a reference to Achilles' heel since this was a weak spot she didn't see or it could be a reference to Jesus' heel being bruised in the 1st ever biblical prophecy (see this post for more on that). This was her first big pivot and change of plans. Many ppl have theorized that TS6 was originally going to be a different album--perhaps lover/daylight--but kimye and BMR got in the way of that. This would explain why she wears an outfit w palm trees on it while cutting the wings off her TS6 jet. She spray paints "reputation" on it which seems to indicate it was a haphazard last minute change of plans (x). Plus the endgame mv has palm trees and shows Miami, Florida (which I think is related to Florida!!! but I'll have to get to that another time) connecting it to "Island breeze and lights down low, no one has to know...In the middle of the night in my dreams I know I'm gonna be with you so I take my time." Miami is the paradise where her endgame happens. This all seems to indicate she was ready for "daylight" or "paradise" during rep era but had to pivot.
The Prophecy: “Hand on the throttle, thought I caught lightning in a bottle, Oh but it’s gone again"
2nd message: This is abt the lover rollout that started in spring of 2019 -> "The time draws near, springtime sunshine causing small drips and fractures." The ice castle likely represents the lover house (her music empire, past eras, and closet) since she burns it down w a match just like she does in the eras tour visuals and midnights -> "You strike a match and blow the smoke toward the structure that shelters and protects you. Suddenly, you hear a crack, a crunch, a whoosh. There is a sudden give beneath you, and you tumble through the broken, melting hole in your palace." The ivy reference (spring breaks loose, the time is near) just solidifies my theory that ivy is a song abt an eventual kaylor reunion that will happen before she burns all the files and deserts all her past lives (eras).
Lover era was her second big pivot. I believe she knew there was a very good chance Scott B would sell her masters all the way back in rep era hence why she says "I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone, devils roll the dice" (see this post for more on that). "However, in this suddenness you find yourself still somehow underprepared, kicking yourself for the time you squandered by wallowing in the seeming endlessness of your predicament" -> Her being unprepared to come out along w the mastersheist is what caused her to miss her 2nd opportunity to come out. She was so caught off guard that it made her indecisive. And so she played it safe and stayed in the closet -> "Our coming of age has come and gone, suddenly this summer it's clear I never had the courage of my convictions as long as danger is near." Remember how I said Taylor is very consistent w her use of metaphors? Well I made a post a while back explaining how folkmore represents the seasons bc summer = daylight and winter = closeting and folkmore was Taylor trying to come to terms w her 2nd failed coming out hence the grey and beige ("I'm just a paperweight in shades of greige"); so that means the ice castle = winter = closeting and springtime sunshine = almost daylight = almost being out of the closet (and spring was also the time when the lover rollout started so it has a more literal 2nd meaning to it as well).
The Albatross: "So I crossed my thoughtless heart spread my wings like a parachute, I'm the albatross, I swept in at the rescue." [I think there's a good chance this song is abt Scoots so it makes sense the parachute metaphor, which relates to her masters and failed coming out, would be used in this song]
The Bolter: "By all accounts, she almost drowned when she was 6 in frigid water...It feels like the time she fell through the ice then came out alive." ['Long story short I survived']
3rd message: This is abt the mastersheist (diamond heist) during the summer of 2019. It parallels the I Can See You mv exactly (see this post). In hindsight it now makes perfect sense why 1989 tv didn't have any mvs--bc the Fortnight mv is a direct continuation of the ICSY mv! Before the Fortnight mv, the ICSY mv was the most recent one. She didn't want anything between those 2 mvs so that it was obvious they were directly related. Her losing her masters and her 2nd opportunity at daylight is what drove her to insanity and caused her to end up in the asylum -> "I find the artifacts, cried over a hat...I trace the evidence" // "And so I enter into evidence my tarnished coat of arms, etc" | "Is it okay? Is it you? Or have they come to take me away?"
"Mere feet away from the light of freedom...Your getaway bike begins to leave without you, sparks flying as the tires try and fail to slow down for you. You have frozen in this moment of indecision" // "It was the great escape, the prison break, the light of freedom on my face...he was runnin' after us, I was screamin', 'Go, go, go!'" -> There are 2 getaway car mentions in this message which emphasizes its importance. This is likely for a few reasons: 1) To explain what the song getaway car was actually abt--her feud w BMR, not the beards 2) To show that message 1 and 3 are related; the getaway bike is mentioned in both since both are abt her masters 3) To show that the lover era pivot was actually just history repeating itself; this is what Cassandra and the Prophecy are abt.
Cassandra (notice the piano melody from mad woman): “So they set my life in flames, I regret to say do you believe me now? ['If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too']…They knew, they knew, they knew the whole time that I was onto somethin', [She knew there was a good chance her masters would be sold as shown in cruel summer] The family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line" ['Now he sits on his thrown in his palace of bones praying to his greed']
Fortnight: "I was supposed to be sent away But they forgot to come and get me I was a functioning alcoholic 'Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic [Her fans didn't notice the shift from rainbows and pastels to black mourning clothes during the lover era] All of this to say I hope you're okay But you're the reason [The you in the song is Taylor; she's the reason she decided to stay in the closet] And no one here's to blame But what about your quiet treason?" [Taylor's indecisiveness is what led her to not come out the 2nd time]
loml (This is from Karlie's pov): "Mr. Steal Your Girl, then make her cry...You shit-talked me under the table talking rings [Paper Rings] and talking cradles, [Lover mv] I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all, [They were so close to daylight]...It was legendary, It was momentary ['I touch you (daylight/sunshine) for only a fortnight']...Our field of dreams engulfed in fire" ['So they set my life in flames']
Florida!!!: "Little did you know your home's really only a town you're just a guest in, ['I touch you (daylight/sunshine) for only a fortnight'; 'And so a touch that was my birthright became foreign'] So you work your life away just to pay for a timeshare down in Destin" [Taylor did all this masterminding and planning just to end up still stuck in the closet and bearding and only being able to see her lover in stolen private moments]
Fresh Out the Slammer: "Another [cruel] summer, taking cover, rolling thunder, he don't understand me"
The Bolter: "But it always ends up with a town car speeding" [getaway car]
Peter: "Forgive me Peter, my lost fearless leader, in closets like cedar preserved from when we were just kids, Is it something I did?" [Peter is herself; 'I'd be a fearless leader' and the fearless album; 'closets' is obvious]
How Did It End?: "We were blind to unforeseen circumstances, We learned the right steps to different dances, and fell victim to interlopers' glances, Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?...It's happening again" [This is the 2nd time she's lost the opportunity to come out]
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: "I'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague" [They're in love w each other but can't be together in public; 'Break my soul in 2 looking for you but you're right here']
Down Bad: "For a moment [a fortnight] I knew cosmic love, now I'm down bad crying at the gym...'Fuck it if I can't have him I might just die it would make no difference'" ['You (Taylor) told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I (Karlie) ever leave']
5th message: Out of all the messages this is the one I'm the most uncertain abt. But I think it is possibly about JA leaving before his contract was up. "You are in a kitchen. Not your kitchen, of course. Your kitchen is soft and cozy and sacred. THIS kitchen is hard and cold and purely functional" -> This is not the sacred kitchen from Cornelia Street that she shares w her lover, this is a PR stunting kitchen that's a false imitation of the real domestic bliss she has. A few yrs ago kaylors were talking abt how Karlie has a kitchen that she only uses for PR/social media purposes so pumpkin anon could've been trying to remind us of that. These 3 messages from flag 🏴 anon make me think the breakup happened sooner than planned.
The July 29 message wasn’t meant to be posted until Oct 8 since it was hinting at the Toe breakup happening 5 months later in mid March, 2023.
The Nov 23 message mentions a “shift of footing” which we all agreed meant Toe 🦶 was over. The Dec 5 message w “the need to flex is sometimes necessary” directly following the Toe breakup message is what really makes me think it wasn’t planned. They had to pivot/flex but “other milestones are resolute” meaning the endgame is still the same—K and T will still reunite and both will be out of the closet at a certain time. Plus there’s the “…” at the end of the Nov 23 message which also indicates the Dec 5 one is a direct continuation of that message.
To add more credibility to this theory, RFI and SIG also have ellipses. RFI always seemed like it was supposed to be a direct continuation of SIG bc SIG sets up the “chess game” w her and her lover doing magic and pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, and RFI is when this chess game officially begins, "baby let the games begin."
Some other kaylors said they thought “the need to flex” meant that she wanted to give anti hero more time on the charts so she was flexing or showing off. But I think it makes more sense for it to be related to London Boy himself and not having him as a beard since that’s the whole purpose of having the 🏴 flag. I could be wrong though.
So Long, London: “Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away…Holding tight to your quiet resentment…Every breath feels like rarest air when you’re not sure if he wants to be there” [This may mean that JA kept trying to break free from the contract and Taylor kept trying to convince him to stay but it didn’t work]. "My spine split from carrying us up the hill, Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill" ['They are bowing out, leaving you with double the workload, now half burnt and smoking. Their duties weren’t finished, and yet there is nothing you can do to make them stay. Shaken by this loss, chaos descends upon the team. Most roll up their sleeves to work harder']. "And my friends said it isn't right to be scared, every day of a love affair" [There were several blind items talking abt how JA was hooking up w men in a very unsubtle way; this could be what the 'cheating husband' mentions in ttpd are abt]. “Two graves, one gun” [Makes me think of a smoking gun which could be what the 'smell of smoke' in the message was alluding to. Maybe JA threatened to reveal her secrets if she didn't let him go and he had the smoking gun evidence to do so which was the recipe card. 'This time is different. Because you know this person actually has the means to share the secret menu, and that they have enough proof to make the waiting guests believe them.' -> I mean if anyone could convince the general public it would be the man who was supposed to be her boyfriend for 6 yrs]. “And you say I abandoned the ship but I was going down w it, my white knuckle dying grip” ['But you have never been one to lay your armor down. When you fail, you fail gloriously. When you go, you go kicking and screaming']. "I didn't opt in to be your odd man out" [She didn't want to be his beard just like he didn't want to be hers; and odd man out is a game that's played w 3 ppl where the odd man is the loser who's eliminated bc he didn't have a match]. "I founded the club she's heard great things about" [The Tortured Man Club -> The Tortured Poets Department that she's chairman of]
7th message: This message is all abt the domestic bliss she has away from the public eye. She has worked so hard to make sure her secrets are safe by building a tall impenetrable fence. However, she chooses to intentionally blow a dandelion full of secrets--perhaps ttpd is the dandelion w all the songs being the florets or secrets. There is one floret in particular that she’s worried abt—my guess is it’s Robin since it’s so damning if you know what to look for. Plus the song Robin parallels this message perfectly and evokes the same imagery. And to add even more credibility to this theory, the lyric vid for Robin has dandelion florets in the background. See these posts: (x)(x)(x)(x)(x)(x). "You are walking through your yard. It's one of your favorite places, all sprawling garden rows" -> Betty's garden; "your wife waters flowers," etc. "There are daisies - so many daisies - in every shade of your rainbow"--I don't think I even need to explain this. "Your lover and your fresh baked buns are safe. (The buns, of course, are in the oven turning golden as you speak. It's an old family recipe, jotted lovingly on a recipe card.)" -> The recipe card is perhaps a picture or some other sort of smoking gun evidence of Taylor's family and it connects the 5th and 7th messages together. And the meaning of "buns in the oven" is pretty obvious. "Golden" refers to Karlie.
Robin: "Higher and higher, wilder and lighter" [This may be a double entendre--not only is she encouraging this child to bounce higher on his trampoline or swing higher, she is also encouraging the dandelion floret (the song Robin) to fly higher and go out into the world after she blows on it]
The Albatross: "Wild winds are death to the candle...One bad seed kills the garden" [This may be connected to the dandelion metaphor and I believe there are many layers to these lyrics; wild winds can carry the dandelion seeds into other ppl's yards; if Taylor's secret gets out this can destroy the domestic bliss she has i.e. kill her metaphorical garden or candle; 'love's a fragile little flame it can burn out']
I Hate It Here: "I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind people need a key to get to, the only one is mine" [There is only one way to get into this garden since a tall impenetrable fence surrounds it; there are other layers in these lyrics as well like the escapism aspect of it]
But Daddy I Love Him: "I'm having his baby, no I'm not but you should see your faces" [Bc it's Karlie that had the babies]
8th message: This entire message parallels the Bolter. I believe this is abt Taylor finally choosing her lover over her reputation and choosing to intentionally destroy it in order to meet her lover down at the bottom like 🌋 anon mentioned. This may be the purpose of the whole Ratty debacle—to tarnish her image (by jumping into shark infested waters) so that when kaylor are together in public again her fans won’t be able to hate on KK w/out being hypocrites bc Taylor has already done all the things she knows they’ll accuse KK of, like being connected to someone who’s quite problematic. I believe this takes place from May 2023-now since this is when MH and her started “dating.” The use of all lowercase in the 🌋 messages may be a reference to the reputation album title to indicate that this is going to be a repeat of rep era but this time the damage to her rep will be intentional. I find it very interesting that the Feb 20th 🌋 message is the only one that has a word capitalized and the word that's capitalized is "Gold." This is in contrast to "fools gold" which is not capitalized or colored.
The self-loathing is palpable in Taylor's music (x) and it is displayed heavily in this message as well. I think it's possible the "enemy" is actually just Taylor herself or her public persona to be more exact. She is her own worst enemy; the Anti Hero mv illustrates this. She's the one that spreads the dandelions in message 7 which is what the enemy does in this message; she's the bear, and in the Bolter she (real Taylor) tames the bear (Taylor the brand). I believe TSMWEL could possibly be abt herself as well. I mean TSMWEL literally has "TS" in the track title. The clean version of the Bolter has the line "Then she'll call him a bore" which parallels TSMWEL, "You said normal girls were boring." It's as if real Taylor is doing an UNO reverse on Taylor the brand by treating her public persona the same way she treated real Taylor for years. This is very reminiscent of the Archer, "I've been the archer I've been the prey." I think TSMWEL, while it is abt herself, is simultaneously abt Scott B. And the reason for this relates back to what I said abt the 2nd and 3rd 🎃 messages--she blames both Scott AND herself for her failed coming out. The mastersheist threw her for a loop, yes, but she could've still come out anyway were it not for her indecisiveness. And I haven't have time to fully analyze MBOBHFT yet but I think it's similar where it can either be read from Karlie's perspective to Taylor after the 2019 failed coming out or from Taylor's perspective to Scott B/the industry.
The Bolter: "But as she was leaving, it felt like breathing, ['When I was drowning that's when I could finally breathe'] All her fuckin' lives flashed before her eyes...He [the 'enemy'] was a cad, wanted her bad just like any good trophy hunter and she liked the way it tastes taming a bear, making him care watching him jump then pulling him under" [This connects to the 10th message: 'You limp over uneven ground, smiling at the pain of the shark bite with each excruciating step - replaying the satisfying splash as you finally chose her over the world. As you grabbed the enemy and dove into the infested waters']
loml: "The coward claimed he was a lion" ['You’re a selfish asshole. So much of your fear is your own. You wince at your cowardice like it is a gaping wound. You so often find yourself unable to meet your own eyes. You scramble into shadows like a black cat. Scared, even, of being scared...You are a coward, but you are not a fool']
I Hate It Here: "I was a debutant in another life but now I seem to be scared to go outside" [In another life she already came out but in this one she's too scared to even leave her house let alone come out]
The Tortured Poets Department (This is from Karlie's pov): "You're in self-sabotage mode throwing spikes down on the road"
9th message: This message is abt her finishing her 11th album, the last chapter of her 11 part story, and then sending it out into the world like a message in a bottle (the Manuscript). So I'm assuming this would take place on April 19, 2024, the release date of ttpd. "You are sitting on a beach, cold and windswept. The sea is dark and angry before you." -> This may be the same beach and sea from the folkmore era. "The sun sets in muted colors." -> Describing the sunset colors as muted is quite interesting since sunsets typically have very vivid colors; this makes me think it's related to the eras tour visuals during the transition from august to illicit affairs (which I explained the meaning of in this post), and the folkmore color palette was mainly muted colors. "You finish scrawling on the parchment. Your pen dries up as you reach the end of a story in 11 parts." // "Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen," "my veins of pitch black ink." She is sick of having to dilute her truth through metaphors and allegories which is why she is a tortured poet -> "Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die." Plus there's the "parchment" which she mentioned many times during her eras tour speeches which relates it to the folkmore era (x)(x)(x). "And now it is just a matter of time. The dripping of candle wax. The ticking of a clock." -> (x).
I recommend reading this post which explains how the Manuscript, ATW short film, message in a bottle, the story of us, and 4th, 9th, and 10th 🎃 messages are related. Many ppl pointed out that the Manuscript lyric vid looks like a movie script, and she's been referencing films and books a lot recently which makes me think there's a good chance she's going to release a film and book abt her coming out story. The 9th message and the lyrics in the Manuscript make it clear that Taylor's discography as a whole IS the manuscript i.e. it's the author's (Taylor's) draft of her story that is getting ready to be published. In academia, a manuscript is a draft of your research that you send in to be peer reviewed and if it's accepted it then becomes a published academic article.
The Manuscript: "And the years passed like scenes of a show, the professor said to write what you know, [She's equating her life to a story w the different eras being different scenes or chapters] The only thing that's left is the manuscript, one last souvenir from my trip to your shores, [message in a bottle; 'It may wash up on a sunny beach in Florida, or a rocky shore in the northwest'] Now and then I reread the manuscript but the story isn't mine anymore" ['Once you blow a dandelion, you never get it back. It isn’t yours anymore']
The Bolter: "But she's got the best stories"
10th message: This is a direct continuation of the 8th message and takes place right before she comes out of the closet (the wooden door in the woods). So this would take place after her rep has already been destroyed which I don’t think we’ve gotten to yet. My guess is that things will start ramping up in the next few months. She may start being papped w all her previous beards looking happy w them or sth similar which is all she’d need to do to show that the relationships were all fake and she’s been lying this whole time. This may be the “chaos” that 🫚 anon was referring to (see this post). This lines up with the blood moon glitch vinyl, representing chaos and disruption, being the 2nd quarter of the yr according to the midnights clock (4-6 or April-June, 2024). Plus many ppl think BDILH is abt MH--and Taylor meant for this to happen bc this album is full of red herrings--and in that song she says "He (MH) was chaos" so this might be a hint that the bearding shenanigans are gonna ramp up. Of course things are already plenty chaotic now w everyone thinking ttpd is abt 3 different men, one of which is pretty problematic, so perhaps this is all ginger was referring to. Taylor calling herself "the Bolter" has 2 meanings: 1) She is a coward who often runs away from danger 2) The 2nd more positive interpretation is that she knows "when it's time to go." I think it's very telling that ITTG is the last track on the deluxe edition of evermore and comes right after RWYLM, a song abt being stuck in the closet after the 2019 failed coming out. She's saying that she's not going to stay there forever(more).
The Bolter: "But none of it is changing that the chariot is waiting, ['The story of 2 princesses. No place for a prince'; the Cinderella metaphor (x)] Hearts are hers for the breaking, There's escape in escaping...Ended with the slam of a [closet] door but she's got the best stories, You can be sure that as she was leaving it felt like freedom" [The 6/21/2020 ♠️ riddle spells out 'They Are Free']
11th message: This message takes place after midnight at 3am on Nov 1 after she’s gone through the wooden door. In this post I explain how 3am connects to the witching hr or devil's hr. The fact that this takes place right after Halloween is quite significant since it is a day dedicated to remembering the dead, and death and ghosts are a big theme in ttpd. This symbolizes how after Taylor kills her old self (by dragging her into shark infested waters), she will resurrect as a new version of herself and leave the past behind her. And in doing these things, she will finally be able to go back to her figurative home, her cabin, that she was exiled from. -> "I think I've seen this film before so I'm leaving out the side door," "And I was catching my breath, floors of a cabin creaking under my step...I had a feeling so peculiar this pain wouldn't be for evermore." "The flame🕯️ finally🕯️flickers🌬️OUT" -> The match that started the "goddamn blaze in the dark" is no longer needed now that the lover house (her closet) has burned down, so the flame flickers out. This metaphor shows up in Peter as well, "But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light," where the light dying represents the woman losing hope that a coming out will happen. Notice in this message from present anon that "Goodbye" has a capital letter G which I believe links it to "Gold" in the volcano message that was mentioned earlier. This may indicate that Karlie is the woman/neighbor holding the light and waiting for Taylor's return home. The Dec 26th 🌋 message is likely from Karlie's pov in this case.
Fresh Out the Slammer: "Now pretty baby I'm runnin back home to you, Fresh out the slammer I know who my first call will be to...But it's gonna be alright I did my time...Get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge, [the burning of the lover house] As I said in my letters [the anon messages this corner of the internet has been receiving? Could also just represent her songs] now that I know better I will never lose my baby again...Swirled you into all of my poems ['My mind turns your life into folklore (literally and figuratively)']...To the house where you still wait up and that porch light [jack-o-lantern] gleams" [see this post abt the porch]
The Alchemy (This is from Karlie's pov): "What if I told you I'm back?...I haven't come around in so long, but I'm coming back so strong, ['But I come back stronger than a 90's trend'] Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me"
imgonnagetyouback: "Push the reset button we're becoming something new...Even if it's handcuffed I'm leaving here with you, Bygones will be bygone eras fading into gray, We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game...I'm gonna get you back"
#so i put this in a word doc and it's abt 10 pgs long and that's not including all the posts i linked#so thank you if you actually read this far!!#here's a cookie 🍪#this literally took me 5 days to type out#there's more stuff i could've included but this is already a very very long post so i might turn this into a series or sth and#break down each message and song in more detail#i left out the 4th 6th 12th and 13th messages since those were more like side notes but i plan to revisit those#also i would really appreciate it if non kaylors would stop calling us crazy and delusional bc...clearly we're not#there's a ridiculous amount of evidence that supports this theory (as this post proves) and it's also the only interpretation of her music#that actually makes the puzzle pieces fit PERFECTLY together and makes every single line of every song make sense#meet me at midnight#closeting#bearding#ttpd#pumpkin#summary#kaylor#gaylor#gaylor swift#volcano anon#ginger anon#the manuscript#the story of us#mastersheist#daylight#sunshine#endgame
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The Helluva Boss view count table, post Season 2 finale!
It's been quite the ride keeping this updated for you all, although you all probably aren't going to see it again until season 3 starts, as I'm not sure if I want to post this table for every upcoming short. However, I will still be counting the view counts for each short in this table, even if I don't post about it.
Statistics and stuff:
IMDb Ratings overall: 8.1/10 with 13000+ people giving a rating on the site. All of these ratings are out of 10.
Pilot: 7.4
S1 E1: 7.7
S1 E2: 8.6
S1 E3: 7.5
S1 E4: 7.2
S1 E5: 8.2
S1 E6: 9.1
S1 E7: 8.8
S1 E8: 7.3
S2 E1: 8.5
S2 E2: 7.7
S2 E3: 7.8
S2 E4: 7.3
S2 E5: 6
S2 E6: 8.7
S2 E7: 8.7
S2 E8: 8.2
S2 E9: 8.7
S2 E10: 8.2
S2 E11: 9.1
S2 E12: 9
The day of the week each episode released and the time between each episode:
Just gonna link to this post by sadhornydemons, it shows both of these.
The average view count of Helluva Boss:
Season 1 only + pilot:
The average view count for season 1 + the pilot was 9,086,823 views.
Season 2 only (Shorts not included.):
The average view count for season 2 was 9,690,163 views.
Both seasons together + pilot (Shorts not included.):
The average view count for helluva boss combining both seasons and the pilot together into one calculation is 9,431,588 based on the data I have obtained.
(Quickly threw together an excel spreadsheet for this matter, if I've missed anything or fucked up a piece of data somewhere, please let me know. Also the =average function was used in the process of making this post, the shorts were not a part of the just season 2 average function.)
Rankings:
Top and bottom 3 episodes on IMDb as of 28/12/2024:
Top 3:
Truth Seekers - 9.1/10
Mastermind - 9.1/10 (Recent episode so subject to change.)
Sinsmas - 9/10 (Very recent episode so subject to change.)
Bottom 3:
Unhappy Campers 6/10
C.H.E.R.U.B - 7.2/10
Western Energy - 7.4/10
Episode view counts (Both seasons + pilot), highest to lowest:
1: S2 E1 - 13,126,955 views.
2: S1 E5 - 11,658,760 views.
3: S2 E7 - 10,855,337 views.
4: S2 E3 - 10,630,600 views.
5: S1 E3 - 10,450,616 views.
6: S1 E6 - 10,441,255 views.
7: S2 E12 - 10,380,617 views.
8: S2 E11 - 10,275,899 views.
9: S2 E9 - 9,772,762 views.
10: S2 E2 - 9,753,386 views.
11: S2 E6 - 9,429,540 views.
12: S2 E8 - 9,308,493 views.
13: S1 E2 - 9,230,983 views.
14: S1 E8 - 8,765,836 views.
15: S1 E7 - 8,684,320 views.
16: S2 E4 - 7,877,622 views.
17: Pilot - 7,845,385 views.
18: S2 E5 - 7,814,061 views.
19: S1 E4 - 7,455,897 views.
20: S1 E1 - 7,248,356 views.
21: S2 E10 - 7,056,678 views.
The top three performing episodes in season 1:
The Harvest Moon Festival with 11,658,760 views.
Spring Broken with 10,450,616 views.
Truth Seekers with 10,441,255 views.
The top three performing episodes in season 2:
The Circus with 13,126,955 views.
2. MAMMON’S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL (ft Fizzarolli) with 10,855,337 views.
3. Exes and Oohs with 10,630,600 views.
The top three performing episodes in both seasons:
In first place we have THE CIRCUS WITH 13,126,955 VIEWS! With the episode continuing to hold an iron grip on that top spot, will the first episode of season 3 be able to rival it? Place your bets now!
In second place, we have The Harvest Moon Festival featuring the debut of Striker! With it also holding a solid grip onto second place in the rankings.
In third place, we have MAMMON’S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL (ft Fizzarolli) coming in at 10,855,337 views! Featuring the debut of our idiot of a sin and a villain, Mammon! Also featuring bangers like Two Minutes Notice and more!
The bottom three performing episodes in both seasons:
Ghostfuckers with 7,056,678 views. Even this one caught me off guard, was expecting it to be a bit on the lower side due to the absence of other major fan-favorite characters like Stolas and Fizzarolli, but it being the worst performing episode still caught me by surprise tbh.
2. Murder Family with 7,248,356 views. Where everything started, the beginning of the show we know and love to this day.
3. C.H.E.R.U.B with 7,455,897 views. Yea I'm not really surprised that this one is here, most people think it's a rather weak episode or one of the worst of the show, so I can understand why it's the third worst performing in around it's first week.
Finally, the shorts:
MISSION: WEEABOO-BOO with 5,975,830 views.
Hell's Belles with 4,721,921 views.
MISSION: ANTARCTICA with 4,265,974 views.
4. MISSION: CHUPACABRAS with 4,038,466 views.
No average for the four shorts at the moment as I feel like there isn't enough of the shorts yet to make a fair average view count of them.
But hey, if you're reading this part, you're cool as fuck, and I hope you have a great day!
#helluva boss#blitzø#blitzo#stolas#helluva boss stolas#moxxie helluva boss#helluva boss millie#helluva boss mammon#fizzarolli
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from In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado (2019)
In Dorothy Allison’s short story “Violence Against Women Begins at Home,” a group of lesbian friends gathers for a drink and they discuss a bit of community gossip: a pair of women recently broke into another woman’s house and trashed it, smashing glass and dishes and destroying her art, which they deemed pornographic. They spray-painted the story’s eponymous phrase on her wall. The friends debate police involvement and intragroup conflict mediation; but toward the end of the story, as they are parting ways, the problem crystallizes into a single, telling exchange:
“Look, do you think maybe we could hold a rent party for Jackie, get her some money to fix her place back up?”
Paula looks impatient and starts gathering up her stuff. “Oh, I don’t think we should do that. Not while they’re still in arbitration. And anyway, we have so many important things we have to raise money for this spring—community things.”
“Jackie’s a part of the community,” I hear myself say.
“Well, of course.” Paula stands up. “We all are.” The look she gives me makes me wonder if she really believes that, but she’s gone before I can say anything else.
Queer folks fail each other too. This seems like an obvious thing to say; it is not, for example, a surprise to nonwhite queers or trans queers that intracommunity loyalty goes only so far, especially when it must confront the hegemony of the state. But even within ostensibly parallel power dynamics, the desire to save face, to present a narrative of uniform morality, can defeat every other interest.
The queer community has long used the rhetoric of gender roles as a way of absolving queer women from responsibility for domestic abuse. Which is not to say that activists and academics didn’t try. When the conversation about queer domestic abuse took hold in the early 1980s, activists gave out fact sheets at conferences and festivals to dispel myths about queer abuse. [see footnote 45] Scholars distributed questionnaires to get a sense of the scope of the problem. [see footnote 46] Fierce debates were waged in the pages of queer periodicals.
But some lesbians tried to restrict the definition of abuse to men’s actions. Butches might abuse their femmes, but only because of their adopted masculinity. Abusers were using “male privilege.” (To borrow lesbian critic Andrea Long Chu’s phrase, they were guilty of “[smuggling patriarchy] into lesbian utopia.”) Some argued that consensual S&M was part of the problem. Women who were women did not abuse their girlfriends; proper lesbians would never do such a thing. [see footnote 47] There was also the narrative that it was, simply, complicated. The burden of the pressure of straight society! Lesbians abuse each other!
Many people argued that the issue needed to be handled within their own communities. Ink was spilled in the service of decentering victims, and abusers often operated with impunity. In an early lesbian domestic abuse trial, a lawyer noted the odd and unsettling detail that most of the time the jury spent behind closed doors was—contrary to what she’d been worried about—the straight jurors attempting to convince the jury’s sole lesbian member of the defendant’s guilt. When she was later questioned, the lesbian juror told the lawyer that she hadn’t “wanted to convict a [queer] sister,” as though the abused girlfriend was not herself a fellow queer woman.
Around and around they went, circling essential truths that no one wanted to look at directly, as if they were the sun: Women could abuse other women. Women have abused other women. And queers needed to take this issue seriously, because no one else would.
footnote 45: Among the myths tackled by the Santa Cruz Women’s Self Defense Teaching Cooperative: “Myth: It’s only emotional/psychological, so that doesn’t count.” “Myth: I can handle it—unlike her last three lovers.” “Myth: Staying together and working it out is most important.” “Myth: We’re in therapy, so it’ll get fixed now.”
footnote 46: Actual questionnaire language by researcher Alice J. McKinzie: “Is your abuser present at this festival? If your abuser is at this festival, is she present while you are filling this out? If your abuser is not present while you are filling this out, is she aware that you are filling out this questionnaire? If you answered NO to the question above … do you plan to tell her later?”
footnote 47: This No True Scotsman fallacy could bend these narratives in every direction conceivable; create a kind of moving goalpost that permitted an endless warping of accountability. In a firsthand account of her abuse in Gay Community News in 1988, a survivor wrote: “I had been around lesbians since I was a teenager, and although some of them had troubled relationships, I was unaware of any battering. I attached myself to the comforting myth that lesbians don’t batter. Much later, when I was ‘out’ enough to go to gay bars in a town that was liberal enough to tolerate them, I saw that some lesbians did indeed batter. However, I thought they were all of a type—drunks, sexist butches or apolitical lesbians—so I decided that feminist lesbians don’t batter.” Activist Ann Russo put it more succinctly in her book Taking Back Our Lives: “I had found it hard to name abuse in lesbian relationships as a political issue with structural roots.”
#carmen maria machado#in the dream house#quotes#dorothy allison#intimate partner violence#domestic violence#domestic abuse#queer abuse#abusive relationship#image described#mac’s bookshelf
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