#I somehow flustered myself writing this holy shit

[knockoffheart]

newest member of the seven (5/6)

summary: me, yelling from across the room: JUST FUCK ALREADY!!

warnings: it’s a “The Boys” fanfic… blood, gore, swearing, nudity, etc. Intended for 18+ ONLY, this chapter contains SMUT. ALSO i write for myself and am low key new to writing so lower all expectations. <3

before you read: this story is written in second person, she/her pronouns are used, reader has female genitalia and identifies as female. the character is never referred to by name , but is a supe called “Replicate”, she has power-copying abilities.

Maeve’s room is much nicer than yours, even before you completely destroyed it in an evening of rage. Somehow she makes the cold, sleek tower feel like an actual home. She leads you to the bathroom and grabs some towels. The shower is massive. She turns the handle then tests the water with her hand, seemingly content with the temperature she turns back to you.

You share another sweet kiss before she starts to exit the bathroom, “I’ll be right back, I need to contact Starlight before she does something drastic.” She smiles, “Anything you need me to tell her?”.

“Keep the body.” You say as you pull your t-shirt off over your head.

“Okay…?” she had a puzzled look on her face. Before you fully immerse yourself in the shower, you look back to her.

“Trust the plan, baby!” You snap finger guns at her, then let the warm water soothe your aching body. You cringe to yourself, wondering if the fight has left you with brain damage.

She laughs and shakes her head, she gives you an ‘okay’ and steps out of the bathroom. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Yeesh.

-

By the time Maeve comes back you’re mostly clean, just rinsing the conditioner out of your hair. You let out a soft hum as you feel her arms wrap around your waist. You lean back into her, smiling.

“Is she pissed?” you ask.

“When isn’t she?” she responds, working her hands up towards your breasts, “But, I really don’t care about that right now.”

You moan softly, trembling from her touch. She pushes her leg in between yours, it’s slick from the water but you can still feel the muscle pressed against your cunt.

“Holy shit-” you gasp. She squeezes one of your breasts and pinches the nipple of the other. You let out a whine and tilt your head, she attacks the exposed neck with several kisses before biting softly. “M-Maeve..” your hands cling to hers.

“Your lil’ suit doesn’t leave much to the imagination, but this is better than anything i’ve ever dreamed up..” she moans into your ear as she reaches down to your hips, slightly grinding you against her leg.

You let out a staggered breath at the sensation, clutching on to her forearms. Wait. You smirk and turn around to face her.

“You’ve dreamed about this before, huh?” you chide. “How long?” You tilt your head and press up against her front. She doesn’t know how to respond, her flustered face is cute. “I know how long I have, Maeve, but what about you?”. You push your soapy breasts against hers and bat your eyelashes.

“You are evil.” she jokes.

You laugh deeply and lean your head back, she notices the bruise that’s formed on your neck. The red outline of her hand can still be seen. When you look back up at her you notice her frown.

“Maeve, what’s wrong? I was just teasing.” You push the wet stands of hair out of her face. She doesn’t reply, just traces her fingers down the front of your neck. You hold her hand, “Maeve, it’s okay. I’m okay, I swear.”

She holds your gaze for a while, the soft patter of the shower heads fill the air. Her sheepish behavior contrasts her strong, wolf-like form. You walk your fingers up her arm and grin.

“Why don’t you clean up? I’m sure you could think of some way to make it up to me.” you keep your hand on her shoulder. She smirks down at you.

-

You finish drying off, and turn to hang up your towel. Maeve grabs your hand and pulls you towards the bed, you squeal as she pushes you down onto it. You sit up and pull her into another kiss. Your mouth opens slightly and her tongue enters eagerly. Oxygen is an afterthought. She bites your bottom lip and brings her hand down to your clit. She pulls away and stares at you and she starts rubbing small circles.

“Fuck-“ you grip onto the sheets. “Oh my fucking god…” you mewl.

“You’re so sensitive, baby.” she teases in between kisses. Her mouth works its way down your body, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses, stopping right before she reaches the most needy area. She pushes your legs to either side, keeping them spread apart easily. You steady yourself up on your elbows and stare down at her with your mouth agape. Her smirk is still visible as she kisses your inner thigh, holding eye contact with you as she presses her mouth over your clit. You furrow your brows and bite down on your lip as she sucks and swirls her tongue around you. You can’t believe this is really happening, every time you think you’re dreaming she speeds up her pace and you snap back to reality.

She moves her hands from your thighs. One goes between your legs, slowly pumping two of her strong fingers inside of you. The other presses down firmly right below your tummy. You throw your head back and let out a combination of curses and moans. Letting yourself fall back into the mattress, you place your arms over your face and head, you can feel the heat from your cheeks radiating onto them.

“Maeve— I’m gonna-“ you whimper as your thighs gently press together around her head. You feel her smile as she keeps lapping you up. She quickens the pace of her fingers and moves her thumb to your clit, pulling her mouth away. She stands over you, panting, her mouth and chin glisten from her time between your legs.

She pulls her thumb away and pushes your arms off your face. She grabs you by your jaw and makes you look at her.

“C’mon, lemme see your face, pretty girl” she whimpers. Her thumb returns, quickening the pace on your clit. “You gonna cum for me, baby?”

With that, you unravel. Maeve bites her lip and watches you come apart, she whispers a handful of praises before smashing her lips against yours. You send your fingers through her hair, tugging up so you can kiss at her neck. You trail up and nibble her ear, “My turn.” you whisper. You feel her stagger above you. You guide her up to the top of the bed, pressing her back against her pillows. You push her legs apart and move down to her chest, kissing and sucking on her breasts. You feel so content making her feel good, you’re eager to please.

Finally, you work your way down between her legs. You’re trembling, she’s clearly more experienced than you, but you’re desperate to make her feel good. You try to replicate what she did to you, though you’re much sloppier. Her moans encourage you to focus on her clit, as you do, her hands shoot to your hair. She grabs on to your hair, pulling softly and guiding you against her.

“Good girl,” she praises, “Good fucking girl…”

You feel her back arch up, and you stare up at her. Your pupils are blown out as you take her in, she watches your tongue move up and down. Her eyes meet yours, you’re so desperate to please her, she’s all that’s on your mind, you don’t care about anything except making her feel good. Her moans become breathy and she pulls your hair tightly, she curses and you feel her come apart on your tongue. You keep at it, tasting her and feeling her body twitch. You don’t stop up she lifts your head up.

“G-good?” you ask, eyelids heavy.

“Fucking perfect.” she growls, pulling you up towards her.

-

You lay under her sheets together, she holds you firmly against her. Your adrenaline has finally worn off and you start to feel how fucking sore you are. Maeve plays with your hair and you start to relax.

She loves how soft you are. How much you want to do good. Be good. Her goal has always been to keep you safe, when you’re lying with her like this, she finally feels like she can. For a moment, she forgets everything else going on outside. Homelander, The Boys, and all the other bullshit she has to put up with on a daily basis.

Your thoughts, however, are racing with all the ways Homelander is going to mangle you. You shoot up.

“Homelander is so going to kill me this time!” you blurt. You stare at her, wide-eyed.

She sits up, “No he won’t. He won’t find out.”

“Uh, yeah he will! He’s got heightened senses and shit. I’m fucked…” you murmur and look back at her. She’s beautiful, even with her stern expression. “At least I die a happy woman.”

She grabs your shoulders, “He won’t find out.” She pulls you back down to her, “You have your plans and I have mine.” You’re swayed instantly, cuddling right back up next to her.

“Does he… visit your room often?” you ask, tracing your finger along her collarbone.

“No, surprisingly that’s one of the boundaries he actually respects. He always calls me to him.” she sighs. “Stay the night, please. I need you here, and your room is a shit hole.”

“How dare…” you quip, “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

You spend the rest of the night detailing the plans for tomorrow’s meeting. You fall asleep before her, your head lies on her chest and she’s gone back to playing with your hair. She stares up at the ceiling and weeps quietly. This is the happiest she’s felt in a long while, but she knows this can’t last. She is tied to Homelander. She has to be, for her safety. For yours. She takes in a breath and kisses your head before drifting off to sleep.

>back

>next

[vampsquerade]

Could you do one where ghost finds a male reader smoking and asks for one then they just talk for a bit?

yes omg i would love to write this for you. i’m gonna make it really angsty but i swear it’s gonna have a good ending! it’s also pretty out of character for the way he is but i feel like this just would’ve been a nice moment

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ghost x Male!Reader: A Smoke Together, Just For Tonight

Trigger Warnings: angst, comfort/hurt, smoking (tobacco), emotional distress, comforting, out of character Ghost (emotionally), slight depressed humor

Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the energy in the room after hearing Hasan needed to be let go, you silently make your way out and a bit of ways away from the safehouse. The only thing you brought along with you was your knife, a pack of cigarettes, and a lighter. “I should probably stop doing this shit so young…” you mumble before promptly sticking the cigarette in your mouth. You cover the end with one hand, using the other to flick your light to ignite it. Taking in a brief inhale of the smoke, you close the top of your lighter and put it in your pocket. You then exhale and spit on the ground, feeling a bit more relaxed now that something’s distracting you.

Looking at the scenery surrounding the safehouse, you sigh. It was such a nice night; there was a gentle breeze, the sky was clear, and the stars shone brightly. You knew what you were signing up for when you joined the 141, but you just hoped things would slow down at least a little bit. Guard completely down, you slump your shoulders and lean against the tree you were standing next to. You take another slow drag of your cigarette, taking it out from between your lips to spit once again. Upon exhaling, you hear the snap of something to your left and swiftly take out your knife in defense while still holding your cigarette. Heart rate slightly accelerated due to the panic and stress of getting your guard back up, you’re slightly annoyed once you see it was Simon that interrupted your smoke break.

“Don’t you know better than to sneak up on a guy that’s got an extensive military background?” you ask, putting your knife back in your pocket. “Don’t reckon I see someone with that title other than myself right now. Can I have a cig and smoke out here with you?” Simon asks, mask brought up to the bridge of his nose. Quirking a brow, you just nod and take your pack of cigarettes out again. Accompanied with it was your lighter, and as you were taking the cigarette out of the box, Simon spoke up.

“Put it between my lips as well, yeah? I’ll cover it so it doesn’t go out.”

Becoming slightly flustered at this request, you did as you were told. Simon covered your lighter at the cigarette end and you successfully lit it. You watch as he takes his first drag, removing the cigarette to exhale the smoke and spitting on the ground. “Bloody hell…I quite honestly forgot how terrible these are.” he joked. Chuckling softly, you just shake your head and put your lighter away. You take another drag of your cigarette, holding it in your mouth for a bit before exhaling some O’s. “How’d you do that?” Simon asks, watching you. “It’s easy, just gotta do this motion with your mouth,” you say then proceed to make the motions with your own.

Simon looks amazed and tries it out himself, only to slightly choke on the smoke. He begins coughing, and you could’ve sworn some laughs were mixed in there as you pat his back. “Holy fuck, don’t choke yourself doing it. Guess I forgot to leave that one out.” you joke as you help him recuperate. “Sorry. I- hah…thought a master of that would’ve at least warned about it…” Simon sneers. You find yourself choking on your own cigarette, the both of you erupting in laughter between dry coughs. “I reckon I haven’t had this much fun in quite a long time. I thought I was somehow immune to it after what I went through.” Simon said breathlessly. Your smile and laughter slowly faded, lips slightly agape as you stared at him in silence. “Anything I should know about so I don’t make a mistake over it and get my fucking ass kicked?” you ask.

Simon’s face grows somber as he takes a long drag of his cigarette. “You can tell me, you know…” you say. “Just don’t end up like me by the time you’re my age. There’ll be a lot of shit you’ll feel sorry about yourself for.” he says, exhaling. You put a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it. “If it makes you feel any better, you’ve become the strongest you could ever be. You defend the lives of people who are unable to protect themselves. We all lose a lot in our lives, it’s normal; but that definitely isn’t an excuse to not care for yourself because it’s what you lacked.” you say. Simon chuckles, taking another drag. “Since when did you become the 141’s therapist, eh?” he jokes bitterly as he exhales. “Since I decided I wanted to fix myself and everyone. Don’t leave yourself out of what you deserve.” you say.

He spits out some of the built up tobacco in his mouth before rubbing his eyes. “I reckon you've got a point, I’ll admit. It’s just difficult.” he says softly. “I know, but we all care about you here. We’re a family and we do not leave each other behind.” you reassure. “Y/N?” Simon asks. “Yes, Simon?” you reciprocate. “Promise you’re not lying to me. I’ll kick your teeth in, corporal.” he jokes darkly. Laughing softly, you punch his shoulder before bringing him in for a side embrace. “Aw, well I appreciate you too, lieutenant. But I promise, I’ll never abandon or leave your side.” you reassure. “Good. Thanks for at least being the semblance of a new family for me.” Simon thanks. “No problem.” you say.

The two of you then stay outside for a while longer, eventually smoking your entire cigarettes and putting them out. You spend a bit more time stargazing, enjoying each other’s company after such a moment of vulnerability. “Quite a nice night, eh? Feels fresh and clear.” you chime. “I suppose you’re right. You like to stargaze a lot?” Simon asks. “From time to time. I just like to appreciate the scenery whenever I can.” you say Simon nods, looking down at you. You look back at him, staring into his eyes. “You’re a good man, Y/N. Don’t change that.” he compliments. You smile and give him a nod and a wink, “I don’t plan on it, Simon.” you say confidently. Simon gives you a nod, bringing his mask back down over his face. The air feels much lighter now, and you could tell that that small period of gloom has effectively passed now.

You were now close to Simon “Ghost” Riley, the most intimidating person you’ve ever met.

[fictional-other-tarot]

S/I Name : Gloria / Cosvin

F/O Name (+pronouns): Eddie Munson (He/him)

Relationship status: romantic

Preferred terms for S/I: Sweetheart, cutie, sweet pea, if being poetic: witch of the night (I call him my sunshine r sunlight sometimes?), goth princess? (or just princess idk i do get flustered on that tho)

Nsft : yes (if theres any from him lol)

F/O writing style: maybe his writing is slightly sloppy but i noticed his handwriting looks nice though...

but again not sure- anything goes alright tho.... he can be sometimes poetic w/ medival stuff... he likes dnd and any fantasy related things...

Other quirks / habits : ends sentence with his name, maybe with horns idk,

Topic : it could be him reminding me that i shouldnt be hard on myself? or idk,, could be anything that he has to say with the tarot... ive been lately trying to talk to him in my mediation and also anubis, but yeah... ive been wondering what message he may have for me, wanted to see if it responated of course- from what i tried by divination.

Letter theme : loving (with tarot) encouraging, advice, reminder

Ending note : could be his name with or without horns idk

Extra info : any adition info you think I should know:

he likes dnd, lord of the rings (idk much abt lord of the rings tho but haha)

he somehow likes wild animals... just remembered a headcanon where he picks up a random possum.. 😂😂 and hes like 'look at this fucker! :D '

he loves the gremlins movie sometimes, but also likes horror

kinda likes the idea of how i do my magic,,, (due to dnd themes) though of course- i do crystal healing in gen, set out insences for luck

he sure does say 'jesus christ' or 'holy shit' p much he someitmes cusses but in surprising statements though...

hes an ENTP

he likes metal bands like Mercyful fate, Judas priest, (DIO dio dio of course dio-) metallica, slayer (dont know much of the songs tho)

since mentioning uhm mercyful fate we sure do sing the songs (mercyfuk fate has lately been my favorite band tho...)

after mercyful fates album his guitar his named 'Melissa' after the album (and yea theres times we sing the lyrics from the album saying witch related like.. 'come come into my coven!' idk we always have fun singing the songs.. : >

if theres anything vampire related in the cards... for sure maybe its him though...? as much as i wouldnt want to spoil stranger things of his almost death. i feel hes already a vampire of sort though...

let me know if you have questions in mind omh... i wont hesintate to help specify more

Four of Wands

The Star

Nine of Wands

Knight of Cups

Page of Pentacles

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

My beloved Gloria,

You're not allowing yourself to feel the joy you could feel, sweet pea, why are you so hard on yourself. Even small moments are there to be celebrated. Small goals reached are still goals reached, my sweetheart.

You're healing yourself though, sweetheart, slowly but surely you're letting your light shine, holding onto hope in times of darkness too. Like fuck, sweet pea, I thought I had a lot of acceptance for how life went, with all the shit that has happened to me, but you have already made such progress in healing yourself, more than I'd ever could on my own.

But I'm here to remind you, princess, it's okay to take a stand and guard yourself from those that harm your joy. I know it's hard for you to be assertive but I believe in you. You don't have to keep the peace or lead with love all the time, it's admirable you want to, but it's not needed. Let yourself enjoy things at your pace, you don't have to let others dictate what you can and can't do.

You have always been the studious and curious kind. Seeking the divine and inner truth. Seeking clarity at every way. You want to understand the people around you and I love that about you. You are just perfect to me, goth princess.

I love you, my witch of the night.

- ^Eddie Munson^

[icharchivist]

@doki-doki-imagines here trying to make her writing gears work💫 Sooo wanna discuss of kissing bubs? I think it starts like a joke, you somehow challenge him and he laughs at how foolish you are for challenging him at ANYTHING, let alone kissing when he had such a great mentor (wink Belial wink). He is all teeth and raw force, tongue meeting yours the second his lips touch yours, but...do all humans kiss feel this good?? So he push your hips impossibly close to yours, hand never leaving the back of your head while yours caress his cheeks while the other grip his shoulder so hard scared that everything will fade if you let him go; if bubs could he would melt your body togethers.

And then you had to stop because, hey, oxygen is important and he teases you for being a pathetic human that needs to breath so he leaves you to go somewhere else. That doesn't mean he won't think of you for the next week.

HELLO???????????

god i didn't expect to get flustered thinking about kissing Bubs all of the sudden holy shit????

it's true that a challenge and him proving he's the superior being and that's why he's great at it is probably the most perfect set up on this, but i don't know what to do with myself reading the way he's going about it hello. hello?? hello????

thanks a lot for this, i'm sure it's going to reach its target audience on here, holy shit.

[tea-twords]

You've got a new follower! Do you mind doing a naegiri fic with lee!naegi? I headcanon that Makoto has separation anxiety because he hasn't been around his family ever since he went to hope's peak, and Kyoko is the closest person to him, so Kyoko tiggles him to cheer him up and stuff :D

Mmmmmm yes....Naegiri...

Ok so this is gonna take place in sort of...like a Non-Despair Au, where everyone is just having a good time, you know? Also, I headcanon that there were dorms at Hope’s Peak for girls and boys, so there were like two boys in one boy dorm and two girls in one girl dorm, something like that. And I also hc that Chihiro was Makoto’s dorm mate, so that’s gonna be in here. Also, really sorry that this took a while to get done:(

Pairing: Naegiri (Makoto x Kyoko)

Lee: Makoto

Ler: Kyoko

————————————————————

“You asked me to come here?” Kyoko said as she looked at Chihiro Fujisaki, Makoto’s dorm mate.

“Y-yeah. Makoto hasn’t been feeling great lately...and I figured that you would know what to do, since your really close with him...” Chihiro answered.

“I understand.” She said plainly but sincerely.

“Ah, o-okay then, I’ll just be leaving you too then...” Said the small boy as he headed off down the hallway.

Kyoko briskly walked in, finding Makoto sitting on his bed, with slumped shoulders, looking at a photo.

“Makoto?”

The boy whipped his head around with surprise, turned back to wipe his face, and then looked at her again.

“I-I didn’t hear you come in...”

“I was just talking to Chihiro at the door, you didn’t hear us then?”

“Well...I guess I wasn’t really paying attention...”

Kyoko sat down next to him, and without hesitating to get to the point, she asked, or more so demanded:

“What’s wrong.”

“N-nothing’s wrong, seriously! I’m doing fine!” An obvious lie.

“You’re lying. It’s written all over your face that something’s been bothering you, and I want you to tell me.”

“...It’s really nothing to worry about Kyoko, I’ll be fine...”

“Tell me.”

“...I don’t want to bother you...”

Kyoko furrowed her eyebrows.

“Your not bothering me in the slightest. Chihiro told me you were feeling bad, and it was of my own free will to come here to comfort you. And we’re close, aren’t we? You can tell me anything.”

Makoto hesitated.

“O-okay...I’ll tell you...”

The lavender haired girl crossed her legs, prepared to hear what her most significant other had to say.

“I...I really miss my family back at home...I haven’t been away from them for this long before and I just...”

“Separation anxiety?”

“Y-yeah...It’s not that I don’t like it here, I love it here...but...”

“You just miss them.”

“Yeah...”

“You’ve been looking through photos of them, right?”

“I just was, actually. I was looking at the photo that was taken the day you met them, coincidentally. I remember that day well...”

“Your family was very nice.”

“Mhm...Komaru was saying how you were like the perfect match for me and things like that...”

“Komaru actually told me something else that day, too.”

“Hm?”

“She told me a trick that would work anytime you felt down, and for me to use freely.”

The brunette tilted his head in confusion.

“I’m uh...not following.”

“Think about it.” Kyoko waited with a smile.

Makoto looked down in thought, then widened his eyes once he realized what Komaru had told her. But it was too late, as 10 fingers suddenly attacked his sides.

“ACK-KYOHOHOHOKOHO NOHOHOHOHOHO!”

“Komaru wasn’t lying then. You do look very happy.” Kyoko teased.

“NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

“Hmhm.” She chuckled as she moves her gloved hands up to his underarms.

“EEEEYAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!” Makoto squealed as he clamped his arms down, trapping her hands in one of his worst spots.

“EHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MOHOHOVE YOHOHOURE HAHAHAHAHAHANDS!”

“I can’t, they’re stuck. You’ll have to move your arms if you want me to move your hands.”

“Y-YOHOHOU KNOHOHOW I CAHAHAN’T DOHOHOHO THAHAHAHAT!”

“Then I guess there’s nothing to be done.” She teased, flustering the boy even more so than he already was.

He thrashed and kicked, trying to get away from the merciless tickles all while laughing his head off. Kyoko honestly thought it was one of the cutest sights she had ever seen.

Kyoko soon took Makoto’s teary eyes and bright red face as a sign to stop her torment.

“Ha...ha...” He panted as he clutched his sides, recovering from the surprise tickle attack.

“Komaru *really* wasn’t lying then. You do look a lot happier now.”

“Ha...”

“Sorry if I went too far.”

“N-no, no, It’s fine! I...I do feel a bit better now...”

Kyoko smiled.

“That’s good then. Now that your mood is better, would you like to come with me to go eat something?”

“S-sure!” He hopped up.

They left the room, both with a smile on their face. Kyoko didn’t forget, however, that not once did he say “stop”.

[memes-in-a-half-shell]

Mmm 32 148 and 152 for Raph??? Please?? And thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ have a great day 💕

32: You wanna have sex with me 148: Your lips make me wonder what you taste like 152: Don’t cover your face, I want to see you

That combination made me smile, not gonna lie 👀 I was listening to Gwen Stefani - Luxurious while writing this 👌 Features a F!Reader.

It’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel some sort of attraction towards Raphael. Sure, you both had been teasing one another from times to times - the sexual innuendos just getting bolder and bolder as the weeks and months went by. Ever since you met him, there was no denying that his whole self pretty much checked all the boxes of what you looked for in a man. Well ... in a mutant man, that is. 

Just imagining his arms around you. His toned muscles safeguarding your body. Everytime he smiled, you could only grin in return, slightly squeezing your thighs in delight. Damn, that man...

That night you knew he was swinging by to your apartment before going on patrol, and you were definitely on a mission. You were absolutely going to lay your cards on the table and tell him how you felt. It was stressful, in a sense, but at some point you knew you just couldn’t keep it for yourself.

You dressed up nice, your makeup on point. You wanted to charm him at first glance - knowing being bold with him was always a thrilling experience.  As you heard a knock at your living room’s window, your heartbeat suddenly fastened, feeling a stress induced lump in your throat. You still went to greet him, not missing how his gaze swallowed you up as soon as he got in.

“Shit, is there somethin’ special tonight?”

His voice sent a shiver down your spine, a good enough wake up call to get you back to your senses.

“Can’t I make myself look nice sometimes?” you replied, amused.

“If by ‘sometimes’ you mean everytime I come by, then I ain’t mad.”

Oh you guessed it, big boy. You couldn’t help your hands on him, mindlessly ‘adjusting’ the straps over his chest and his bandana’s tails.

“How much time do you have?”

“Depends,” answered Raph, cocking one brow. “Somethin’ on your mind?”

You simply dived in:

“Sex is what I have in mind.”

... Pause. You didn’t even dare look up to his eyes. The harm was done, now you could only expect the outcome of this blow... At first you heard a hushed chuckle coming out of him.

“Wait... you wanna have sex with me?”

You gulped, finally meeting his gaze. He wasn’t mad or afraid. In fact, he was showing that same smile that would always send butterflies to your stomach. You simply nodded, at a loss for words. That simple gesture of yours triggered a low churr from the turtle, your senses suddenly flaring up. You felt his hands on your back, one travelling to your hip, another inbetween your shoulder blades. He was studying your features, definitely trying to sense your intentions. He couldn’t help his tongue darting quickly out, somehow eager for what was to come next.

“I ain’t gonna lie, your lips do make me wonder what you taste like....”

“So do I...”

The relief you felt as soon as you both joined in a kiss, nothing in the world could ever compare to it. All the tension that had built up, all that desire, it all came crashing down like a wave over you. All that was happening; it was now or never. You couldn’t release him, standing at the tip of your toes, your body flushed against his plastron.

“Fuck, babe....”

His tone had been low, tainted with his growing desire.

“I wanna keep you against me all night long.”

“What about patrol?” you asked, in-between kisses at his jaw.

His hold on you slightly tightened, nuzzling you as he took in your scent.

“Fuck that. Fuck Leo. Fuck everything. ... Hell, the only fuck I’ll give is fucking you.”

You hummed in delight, your nails lovingly scraping the scales behind his neck, suddenly eager for more.

“Keep talking,” you said, lovesick. “I love your voice and the words coming out of your mouth.”

You felt his renewed smile on your skin, his arms soon lifting you against him. All movements felt like a blur as you kept kissing him again, only rendering at the last second the fact that he had now moved to your couch, laying you down on it. The pace fastened, thanks to all this bottled up thirst, both your bodies soon caught up in a dry clothed hump, hips circling against one another and craving the proximity. Oh shit he felt so big. A blush invaded your cheeks as a drunk smile showed on your lips.

“Oh Raph...,” you mewled.

“You still want this?”

“... More than ever.”

You couldn’t quite place your finger on it, but you knew this felt so different from anything you ever experienced. The sheer power emanating from him was somehow recomforting, especially now that he was behing so careful with you. You wanted to be at his mercy, give your whole self to him and you wanted to experience the entirety of him. He got your shirt out of the way, prompting you to remove your bra afterward, while simultaneously kissing him once more. You weren’t a stranger to the texture of his scales and his chest plates, but to feel them bare against your chest, it was sending a lightning bolt through your body.

“So perfect,” he murmured, taking a good look at your form.

As you sensed him move to kiss across your chest and down your stomach, you could only bring your arms across your face, suddenly feeling flustered. As he removed your bottom half, your core could only shiver in anticipation, his churr resonating through your entire being.

“Don’t cover your face, I want to see you. All of you...,” he said. You dared move your arms, revealing your hooded gaze, yearning for more. Your eyes scanned him, realizing he was still dressed.

“And I wanna see all of you too.”

“Doll, you only had to say so.”

Damn, your eyes could only feast on his form as you watched him strip. That confidence he was showing only made things easier, knowing you both wanted this right here and now. Your legs could only hook at his hips - as best as you could - once he was back to you. You first both joined in a kiss, chaste ones definitely out the window. It was deep and needy, your tongues brushing in sweet caresses, your hands cupping his cheeks only so he could stay close even more. There was no need for words anymore, the rhythm now at an hypnotic pace and leaving you both longing for what was to come next. God, you both had waited so long to be close like this... To feel him inside you next was a pleasant surprise, his hands lovingly squeezing your skin, his churr even louder in his throat.

“Holy shit...,” was the only thing to escape his lips.

You only moaned in answer, your arms hooked around his neck. His thickness rubbed you in all the right places, knowing you would probably never experience anything better than this... As you started to get lost in this, a sudden beeping noise rose in the air, both of you freezing, still locked, and looking towards Raph’s shorts left on the floor. You knew it was his t-phone, the mutant frowning.

“... Aren’t you going to answer it?” you asked.

He looked back to you: “And have Leo scream at me? Hell no.” He kissed the top of your head. “Let it ring, for all I care. Right now I’m doin’ something important with someone that matters...”

You couldn’t help that small giggle escaping you, a sigh of relief coming next as you felt that tantalizing dance of your hips taking pace once more. As the t-phone’s ringing died, it was soon replaced with your quickening breath, moans muffled against the terrapin’s scales.

“I never wanna stop,” sighed Raph, his arms hooked around your form and never wanting to let you go.

As you moved your head to expose your throat, Raph’s lips found solace on that part of you, suddenly bringing a myriad of fireworks behind your eyelids and to your brain.

“RaaaAaaAAHh-” you messily said his name, the rush of your orgasm debilitating your ability to speak.

You felt him shiver, knowing he was feeling that pleasure of yours around him. He grinned, lovingly nipping your skin:

“I ain’t done with ya... I said I wanted to keep you against me all night long, and I intend to keep up to my words. ... I have to make you pay for all that accumulated teasing.”

Good lord, you couldn’t imagine a better night than this one.

[wintrcaptn]

It’s You | Chris Evans 🖤

Summary : moving to a new place, not knowing a single person, wasn’t what you had in mind. But wanting a fresh start was the main goal. Little did you know, you were now living next door to none other than Chris Evans.

A/N : I had this dream and thought it would be fun to write a little story off of it. It’s cheesy and I honestly don’t even know if he has neighbors where he lives but oh well. Hope this makes you somewhat happy during these crazy times! Please be safe and don’t forget, wash your hands! (:

The house next door to Chris had been vacant for quite some time and he honestly didn’t even know it had sold.

Until now.

“Dammit.” You groaned to yourself as your books broke through the bottom of the box, falling to the ground.

All you could do was look up and let out a sigh. From driving all night, you were exhausted, stressed and beyond annoyed.

Chris had just finished changing his shirt when he heard the loud ruckus that came from outside, quickly catching his attention.

He watched you for a quick moment before Dodger snapped him back to reality after he bumped into his leg.

“Hey buddy.” He muttered, glancing back at you through the window.

You were struggle to push the broken box to your door. To get it out of the way.

Chris couldn’t help but feel bad. Without a moment to process what he was about to do, he started toward the door, making his way over to you.

It didn’t take long for him to walk over due to being literal next door neighbors. But finally getting to see you clearer he was captivated. Drawn into you for a reason he wasn’t sure as to why.

“Um hey, need some extra hands?”

The voice came from behind you, startling you. “Shit!” You exclaimed, holding your chest with your hand. “You scared me!”

You cut the word short once your eyes met his, suddenly, you were at loss for words.

“I—I’m so sorry.” He muttered. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I was—“ he stopped when he noticed your expression, one he has seen too many times on fans faces.

He didn’t mind really, but sometimes he wished he wasn’t so recognizable.

“You seemed like you needed a hand.” He flashed a smirk.

Swallowing hard, toy forced yourself to snap out of whatever the hell you were lost in. Which was harder than you thought.

“T-Thank you. But I’m okay.” You managed to get out. “I’m Y/N by the way.”

Chris’ lips curved at the edges, forming a soft smile. “Chris. It’s nice to meet you.”

As if you didn’t know who he was.

You tried to collect yourself and return back to moving the box full of books. But unfortunately, it was useless. With it falling apart and the weight of it all, you were having a hard time.

“Are you sure you don’t want any help?” He asked, his hands deep in his front pockets. “It kind of looks like you’re struggling.”

“Struggle is my middle name.”

Immediately, you winced are how horrible that joke was, which only created Chris to chuckle.

You knew having help would make things a lot easier, but you didn’t want to come off as creepy, mainly because you knew you’d probably stare too much or say the wrong things. It’s not everyday you move next door to your celebrity crush.

This whole thing felt like a fan fiction. Which you read from time to time whenever you got tired of the real world.

So it was hard to look him in the eyes and pretend to be cool about the fact that he was your neighbor. Of all people.

“I really am ok—“ before you could finish your sentence, the books fell through the box once again, but this time, one of them landed on your foot.

“Shit!!” You grunted.

Chris strode over to you in an instant, and helped you set the box down.

His hand grazed against yours, and for a moment, you forgot about the pain. Until you shifted in your stance.

“Damn, that’s going to leave a bruise.” You hissed.

Chris couldn’t help but start to laugh. As hard as he tried to hold it in, he couldn’t control it. Before you knew it, you were both standing in your driveway, laughing.

“Great way to break the ice, right?” You cackled.

“Definitely. One hell of a way to meet your neighbor.” He said with a cheeky grin.

You let out a soft sigh, and finally caved. Nothing could be worse than that right? Besides, you’ll be too busy walking back and forth, there won’t be time to talk or embarrass yourself even more for that matter.

“So about that extra hand?”

He nodded and went straight for the box you unsuccessfully moved.

“Where would you like me to put these?” He asked.

“Um anywhere is fine. Thank you.”

He flashed yet another smile and made his way inside, and suddenly you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

‘Holy shit. Chris Evans is my fucking neighbor?!’ You thought you yourself. ‘Okay, be cool Y/N. Don’t be weird.’

As time went on, you were both going back and forth, transferring the boxes into the house. You shared a few glances here and there, and when you would catch each other’s eyes, you couldn’t help but grow bashful and quickly look away.

Feeling like a teenage girl all over again.

Chris on the other hand, he was amused by the way he made you fluster. It was something he was used to experiencing with some fans he encountered, but there was something different when you did it.

After a while, you had small conversations here and there. It started with talking about the weather, then turned into something a little more intimate.

He had asked you about your life, your hobbies, your dreams. And the way you talked about the thing a you loved, he was somehow drawn in even more.

You were funny, and not just in a typical way. It was the one where the laughter rolls up in your chest and bursts out without any restraint.

Talking to him, it almost felt effortless. The words kept slipping through and fell into place. You managed not to screw up.

“I had no idea people still liked the Backstreet Boys.” He chuckled, pointing to your shirt.

“Hey, dont hate on my boys. They have been with me through a lot of relationships and heart breaks.”

He chuckled once again, leaning against your truck, he arms crossed over his chest.

You couldn’t help but get lost in those damn beautiful blue eyes, that you didn’t realize you had unloaded all of the boxes.

“Oh damn, we did it.” You smiled, feeling relieved to have that part done with. “And now all that’s left to do is unpack those damn boxes.”

“But that’s the best part.” He said. “You get to set up everything the way you like and reminisce on all the random crap you find.”

“That’s true. But I’m too sober to get into that mess.” You chuckled.

He knew he should call it a day and let you be, but he wasn’t ready to say bye just yet. He wasn’t ready to walk away.

“Well, let’s crack open some beers and maybe order some pizza while we’re at it.”

You were taken aback by his words, you weren’t sure if you actually heard him right.

“Wait, what?”

“Come on, I’ve helped you this long. Might as well help you finish.”

You snorted and chuckled at the same time, shaking your head.

“What’s so funny?” He asked.

“I’m sorry, I just have a very dirty mind, and well—“

He paused for a moment before putting two and two together and laughing along with you. “I mean, you could at least take me out on a first date before hitting on me.” He winked.

In that moment, you swore you felt your knees wobble and your breath hitch to the back of your throat.

‘Did he just flirt with me?’

“Trust me, you’d know if I were hitting on you. I’d use some of my famous pick up lines.” You said, feeling a tad confident in that moment. “And besides, I don’t think you could handle me anyway.”

Things were intense between you two. Tension so thick, you could cut it with a knife. But after a long moment of locking his gaze on you, Chris cleared his throat and laughed it off.

“I have some beers at my place I can bring over, and I could order us some food.”

You shook your head no and pulled your phone out of your back pocket. “You literally saved my ass today, the least I could do is buy you food. Pay you for your service or whatever.”

A smirk formed on his lips, “are you calling me a hooker?”

“What? No! I wasn’t! I was just—no. I’m sorry if—“

Chris could see the panic in your eyes and stopped you before you rambled on. “Hey, it’s okay! I was kidding!” He cackled. “I know what you meant. Don’t worry.”

Letting out a sigh, you could feel heat begin to radiate off your body. This is what true embarrassment felt like. Something you were definitely used to since all you ever do is make a fool of yourself.

“I’ll be back. I’m gonna check up on my dog and grab some beer for us.” He said. “Then we can get started on unpacking all of your dark secrets.”

Before you could say anything, he turned on his heels and walked back to his house, leaving you to yourself.

“So much for focusing on myself. How the hell am I suppose to focus when he is my freakin neighbor?!” You mumbled to yourself. Walking back to your house.

Chris was immediately greeted by Dodger the second he opened the door, and his brother Scott who was staying with him for a bit.

“Who’s that?” He asked, pointing out the window. “Because she’s cute.”

“Her name is Y/N. She just moved in—obviously. And please don’t start.”

Scott presses his hands to his chest, pretending to be offended. “Start what? I’m just innocently asking who she is. That’s all.”

“Scott, there’s nothing innocent about you.”

His little brother chuckled and shrugged. “You have a point.”

“Well if you’re done, I am going to grab some drinks and head back to her place.”

“Oh? You two are drinking together already?! Christopher! At least take the girl out on a proper date.”

Chris rolled his eyes as he made his way over to his kitchen. This wasn’t something he wanted to get into at that moment. Especially with his brother.

But he knew he wouldn’t let it go. That wasn’t in his nature.

“She seems like she needs a friend, that’s it.” Chris muttered. “Now let’s drop this okay? Besides, I am in no rush to get into another relationship. I am doing just fine with the way things are.”

Scott pursed his lips, not believing a single word his brother said, but he wasn’t going to push it. “Whatever you say, bro. Just don’t run to me when you start catching feelings, okay?”

“I won’t. Don’t worry.” He chuckled, as he grabbed a six pack of beer from his fridge. “I’ll just be next door, if you need anything.”

“Mhmm.”

As he started back to your place, he kept mumbling to himself, that this was purely platonic. This can’t turn into anything, it just can’t.

And for the most part, he truly believed he had nothing to worry about. But as months come and gone, and you two grew closer each day....

He soon realized just how wrong he was.

——

Chapter Two

[my-happy-little-bean]

Do The Cooking By The Book

pairings: LAMP/CALM words: 6013 warnings: swearing, alcohol, implied panic attacks, small burn mention, general angst summary: patton bakes when he’s sad and nowadays, no amount of chewy chocolate chip cookies would be able to cover that up.

or: the five times patton bakes something for the others and the one time he can’t.

a/n- hello! welcome to part 2 of that series i mentioned before called  ‘let’s indulge bean in their slightly low quality, very personal fics’ (maybe i should actually make this an actual series on ao3 lol) :’)

i have been having a bit of writer’s block between this patton/janus one shot and golden slumbers (there's just o n e more scene i need to figure out, trust me it's haunting my every move), so i decided to write a bit of a fresh warm up instead! and by warm up, i mean i started writing it in the beginning of july and it somehow spiralled into a big thing, like they always do :’)

inspired by my declining mental health and my unhealthy obsession with baking focaccia at 2 am :)

p.s – later there's a [1] that's supposed to be a footnote but the formatting just said no so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

read on ao3 ~

enjoy!

----------------------------- 

~ patton’s chewy chocolate chip cookies ~

ingredients: 

2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

0 teaspoon club soda

2 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, softened (or melted, like my heart around my honeybees <3)

1 3/4 cups packed dark brown sugar (must be working out ;) )

1/4 cup granulated sugar sugar, honey honey (except no honey :P)

2 large eggs, room temp.

2 teaspoons vanilla extract (and not any extra-ct ;) )

2 cups Virgil-esque chocolate chips*

 *semi-sweet! ^v^

 –– 

“Holy shit, Pat.”

Patton smiled, all toothy and wide. He was still standing beside the couch Roman was lounging on, holding up the tray with his pastel blue oven mitts.

“You like it?” he beamed. Roman nodded, scrambling over the armrest to grab another.

“Umfh,  yeah,”  Roman replied, crumbs spilling out of his mouth. “Ovfiously.”

“...What?”

Roman quickly swallowed and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Patton laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “No worries! I think it’s a- dough -able.”

“...If you weren’t holding cookies right now, I'd say that you suck. But you're holding cookies, so..."

There was a pause that Patton quickly filled with laughter, even if it suddenly felt like he was struggling to carry the sound out of his chest and into the air.

Luckily, Logan walked into the room before Patton could say anything that was affected by the spontaneous pang in his chest. His eyes lit up upon seeing him. 

“Logan!” He cheerily dashed over to the other side of the room, holding up the tray to Logan’s face. “A treat for my smart cookie?”

Logan reeled back slightly to avoid getting hit by the edge of the tray. He pushed up his glasses.

“Ah, thank you, dear. But I do believe it is too early for copious amount of sugar consumption–”

“Just try one, cookie-tita,” Roman cut him off, “you and I know that you want one.”

Logan frowned at him over Patton’s shoulder, then looked back at Patton. He gave Logan the widest smile he could muster, which made him sigh. 

“While Roman’s reference was a bit of a stretch–” He eyed the cookies one more time, then looked back at Patton– ”I suppose I will agree to half a cookie.”

“Goody!” Patton said brightly. “Or should I say, gooey?”

“You shouldn’t.”

Logan picked one cookie up and took a small bite. His eyes softened, which made Patton’s heart melt. 

“...Oh sweet Einstein,” he muttered, grabbing one more cookie off the tray before making a beeline to the coffee machine in the kitchen. Patton just smiled to himself, admittedly a bit proud. 

Before he turned around to go see if Logan needed help, he heard shuffling coming up beside him. He looked over and smiled. 

“Virge! You’re awake!” Virgil pulled one side of his headphones up as Patton presented him the tray. “Cookie?”

“Uh, sure.” He took one and nodded when he had a few bites, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Thanks, Pat.”

“No problemo!” he chirped, wandering back to the living room. Virgil trailed behind him, now slipping his headphones around his neck. 

“Did you bake these this morning?” Virgil asked as Patton set the tray on the coffee table in front of Roman, who readily lunged at it. Patton turned and smiled brightly at him. 

“Yeah! I mean...it was technically morning, heh.” 

Virgil blinked in that knowing way Patton was all too familiar with. Patton mentally cursed.  

“What do you mean by technically–”

Before he could say anything else, Patton clapped his hands together. 

“Well, I’m glad you all liked the cookies.” He tried not to think about how loud his own voice suddenly was. “Feel free to finish them!”

Roman frowned, mid-bite of his third cookie.

“Don’t you want any, sweetheart?"

“No no! I chip-ed in so much effort in baking them that I tired myself out, heh!” He faked a yawn. “I’ll just go to my room!”

Roman just laughed, stuffing another cookie in his mouth with a shrug. Logan wandered back from the kitchen, conjuring a book as he walked and nodding at Patton. He grabbed another cookie and sat on the couch beside Roman, leaning against his shoulder.

Virgil just looked at him as he left, eyes narrowed and steely. 

They’re so perfect, Patton thought as he sunk out to go to his room, leaving the three of his boyfriends alone with a wave. Perfect just the way they are.

 Without me.  

----------------------------- 

~ ‘i got ya’ focaccia ~ 

ingredients:

for the garlic-infused mixture

1/2 cup extra-virgin, PG-rated olive oil

2-3 minced garlic cloves

0 garlic gloves (haha i’m hilarious)

1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon dried

1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary or 1 teaspoon dried

1/4 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper

for the bread

1 cup warm water

2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast (1 packet)

1/4 teaspoon honey honey, you are my candy girl–

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt (maybe it’s wearing some nice clothes!) (sea what i did there? i’m funny, aren’t i?) 

–– 

Virgil heard a soft ‘ shit ’ coming from the kitchen. 

Don’t panic, it’s probably all fine,  he thought, slowly walking towards the entrance to the kitchen.  It’s totally not some burglar, ready to steal all our spices and blow them into my eye, making me blind. It can’t be, we’re not even real so how could there be a burglar–

As he neared the dimmed light coming from the kitchen, however, a quiet sob broke through his thoughts.

A chill ran through him. The sob was muffled, squeaky, and admittedly a bit pathetic in terms of how there was an attempt to cover it up. Almost like the sound a puppy would make when someone accidentally stepped on their paw.

All too familiar.

“Patton?” he murmured, turning on another light in the kitchen. 

Patton was hunched over the counter space beside the oven, next to a saucepan on a burner; which was emitting a strong garlic and herb smell. 

That wasn’t what Virgil was focusing on, though; but rather the way Patton held his hand close to his chest.

Patton spun around on his heel when his name left Virgil’s tongue, his eyes wide and glazed over, like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Sh– Virgil! Hi!” He laughed nervously. “What are you doing here? It’s like, 2 am!”

Virgil dug his hands in his sweater pockets. “I’m always up at 2 am. What are you doing here?”

He watched as Patton’s smile forcefully tugged at the corners of his lips.

“I’m baking focaccia! Wanna join?”

There was a slight crack in his cheeriness. Virgil took a step closer. 

“What happened to your hand?”

Patton looked down at it, then held up his index finger, which was slightly red. 

“Just accidentally brushed up against the pan!” he chuckled. “It was still hot. ”

“How could you brush up against the pan,” Virgil deadpanned, hopping onto the kitchen island. “Roman’s asleep.” 

Patton blushed as he ran his finger under cold water.

“Grab the flour and pour a cup of it in that bowl,” he said, shaking his hand dry and going back to the stove. “I think that the yeast and honey had enough time in the water. I’m just about done with the garlic stuff.”

“Okay, honey,” Virgil hummed, already scooping the flour in the measuring cup.

Patton turned to face him over his shoulder with a smile.  

“Gosh, you get funnier at 2 am, kiddo.”

Virgil shrugged. “It’s easy to cater to your humour, babe. Though no one does it as good as you do.” 

Patton’s blush intensified, and it made Virgil feel a little more at ease that he could still make him flustered like that. 

“So really, Pat,” Virgil asked, stirring in the flour as Patton went over with a smaller cup of the garlic-infused mixture. “Why are you up so late baking focaccia of all things?”

A pause. Patton finished pouring in his cup before turning his back away, his head low. 

“No reason!” he said brightly, though Virgil suddenly felt edges of darkness to each word. “I thought it’d be nice. Plus Roman loves my focaccia. Thought I could surprise him!”

A pause. Virgil wanted to press him more, but there was something about Patton’s cracked smile that advised him against it. He knew a warning when he saw one. 

“He likes anything you bake him, babe,” he said instead, adding salt and the rest of the flour before beginning to knead the dough in the bowl. “You could bake him a frog and he’d be grateful.”

“Now Virge, I think you’re mixing the twins up again,” Patton giggled. Virgil smirked, even if he felt like he shouldn’t. There was such heavy air in the kitchen; a positive emotion wouldn’t last a second. 

“You sure you’re okay, Patton?” 

When Patton finally faced him, it felt like the air was sucked out of him. Now that he was standing under the light, he felt like he saw all of him more clearly. There were dried tear tracks running down his cheeks. Did he always have those? And under his eyes were bags of purple, dark and stormy; clear evidence that maybe Patton had been late-night baking before. 

However, that broken smile was what haunted Virgil the most.

“I’m just peachy, Virge!” he chirped, conjuring up a towel and covering the bowl of dough Virgil probably over-kneaded. Patton’s eyes seemed to drill right into his own. “ Positive.”

Virgil numbly nodded as Patton clapped his hands. 

“Well! Now we wait!” He smiled again at Virgil. “Want some coffee?”

 ----------------------------- 

~ mushy gushy marshmallows ~

ingredients:

marshmallow base

2 cups of sugar 

1/4 cup corn syrup

1 cup water (1/2 for for dissolving gelatin)

7 tsp / 3 packets of gelatin

1/4 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp of vanilla extract

 dusting powder

1 cup confectioner’s sugar

1/2 cup cornstarch

*note to future patton: don’t make these, actually. they suck.

–– 

“Fuck!” 

Logan heard the curse from the kitchen, lifting his head from his book and immediately smelling for any smoke. 

“Patton?” 

There was no smoke. Instead, just another string of curses. Logan sighed; it was not like the moral side to swear. But reprimanding him didn’t sound like a wise idea. 

Instead, he set his book down on the coffee table in front of him and wandered to the kitchen. 

“Is everything oka–”

He stopped mid-sentence and looked at the sight in front of him. 

Surrounding him was a sugary mess, with many bowls of gelatin and water littering the entire counter. Logan could only assume they were failed attempts at whatever was being made today.

In the middle of this mess was Patton, holding the hand mixer up in the air with tears streaming down his face. 

“...Let’s put the hand mixer down, shall we?”

Logan moved forward before Patton could even respond, slowly lowering his hand that held the mixer. Patton just sobbed, dropping it on the floor in defeat. Logan tried not to panic at the suddenly broken hand mixer. Logically, they could summon a new one. It was extra energy, sure, but it was fixable.

However, he wasn’t quite sure he could fix the sight in front of him.

“Is there something wrong, starlight?” he murmured, ushering Patton toward the kitchen table. Patton just sighed. 

“It’s the stupid marshmallows.” Patton threw his apron onto the floor as he sat down. “I just don’t get what I’m doing wrong. I tried everything.  And they– they just suck.” 

Logan blinked, almost dumbfounded. In all the years he spent together with Patton, he had never seen him so distraught. Not even his arguably-worse decisions elicited a response similar to the frustration he was currently witnessing. Patton always wore a smile and carried on. Any mistake was just a mistake; nothing more to it. 

So what was different here?

“I even tried summoning a candy thermometer,” Patton continued. Logan tried his best to be present, even if his worry was slowly overtaking all of his senses. “Those things are stupid! I thought–”

“Hey,” Logan finally said, cutting Patton off by holding his hands into his. “Let’s slow down for a minute, okay?” 

When Patton looked up at him, his heart broke. 

Patton’s eyes were glassy with tears, some kind of foreign look not too far behind his irises. The absence of his smile was even more unsettling. 

He looked completely different; as if someone took one of the loves of his life and replaced him without even leaving a trace. 

Suddenly, he was filled with what he only assumed was longing. 

“Patton,” he said slowly, looking down at their intertwined hands, “please don’t worry about the marshmallows. They’re just marshmallows. Clearly there is something else that is–”

He cut himself off as he heard Patton’s breath hitch. When he looked up, there was a faraway look in his eyes.

And that was when it clicked. That foreign look…

It was fear. Fear and guilt, all wrapped up in one. 

The face of someone who just got caught.

Patton quickly pulled his hands away from Logan’s, stumbling onto his feet and muttering something about cleaning up later under his breath as he sunk out. 

Logan blinked, taken completely aback. He quickly re-evaluated every word he said that could have led to him leaving. 

“They’re just marshmallows.” 

Logan winced. Shit. Perhaps Patton was still in his ‘in his feelings phase; not his ‘in need of rational solution’ phase. He should have known better and now, Patton was further away from him than he was before. 

Logan then thought about the guilt that struck Patton’s face before he could confront him; the fear in his eyes when Logan dared to dig a little deeper. 

Patton wasn’t far away, actually.

Patton was just gone;   and Logan didn’t know where to look to find him.

----------------------------- 

~drunken    bitter    butter rumcakes~

 ingrdents:

for the cupcakes:

1 cup of choped picans

1/2 cup coconut flake

yellow cake mix, lots of it probs

some vanilla puddin apparently? i dont know why

eggs i dont care how much fuck it

1/2 milk

vegetable oil (optional cuz it sounds gros)

rum

for the bitter rum glaze:

some butter and sugar

more rum

rum 

 for the frosting

confictione confecion confectioniser’s powdered sugar

soft buttter

vanilla extract

rest of the bottl eof rum probably

 ––

It only took a crash from the kitchen for Roman to realize that Logan and Virgil were right: something was wrong with Patton. 

Virgil had been the first one to express his concern, and it was right on the day Patton baked them all cookies. Patton had since baked many more cookies; which for some reason, only intensified his worry. Roman didn’t think much of it at first. Virgil, bless his soul, always held a bit of his paranoia close to his chest. Plus, Patton’s cookies were the best! There wasn’t much to complain about. A few days later, Virgil mentioned something weird about Patton’s focaccia; but even that admittedly didn’t raise any concern from Roman. 

It was when Logan mentioned the marshmallow incident that Roman knew something might be off. 

The two had warned him that going to the kitchen late at night could possibly bring some less than ideal sights, but that only drew Roman closer; like a beautiful moth attracted to light. If Patton was truly upset, Roman had to be there! He knew that the others didn’t know much about navigating the small crises Patton would have every now and then, but Roman did! It was Patton, after all! Roman had experience — and he just had to play it by the book. 

But when he finally walked into the kitchen upon hearing the source of the crash, he was greeted with something he never quite saw before. 

Patton was on the ground, holding a long, glass bottle by its neck and a bowl—with all its contents—was splattered on the floor beside him. 

Roman stood there, almost dumbfounded. Patton didn’t even realize he was there before he looked up and blinked a few times. 

Then, Patton started to cry. 

“Oh, sunshine,” Roman murmured, sitting next to him on the floor. The strong stench of alcohol filled the air beside Patton, and Roman saw a glimpse of a rum label on the bottle. It was half empty. 

“M’sorry,” Patton mumbled under his breath, immediately resting his head on Roman. “Didn’t–” He hiccuped– ”Didn’t mean to make noise.”

“Shh, mi amor, it’s okay.” Roman stroked his hair slowly, going through the familiar motions of comforting his boyfriend. “I understand. Let me help you, okay?”

Another sob wracked through Patton’s body. 

“I– I don’t deserve your help.” The words came out in a slur. Roman had a slight feeling that Patton didn’t use all the rum in his bottle for baking.

“Nonsense! Of course you deserve help,” Roman whispered, twirling a strand of his hair. “I’m here to help you. I always am.”

Patton leaned into the touch, though the weight of his head seemed heavier than usual; like he was unintentionally pressing himself onto Roman, limp against his shoulders.

“S’fine,” he said after a few more teary hiccups, trying to push himself onto his feet. “Gotta– gotta finish cupcakes. Tryna new recipe.” 

Roman frowned. “The cupcakes can wait until tomorrow, Patton; I’m going to bring you to bed and clean up–”

“No!” 

Roman jumped at the sheer volume of Patton’s voice, suddenly nervous that he’d wake the rest of them up.

I can handle this myself,  he thought.  I always have been able to, this isn’t different. 

“No, I don’t– I don’t need your help.” Patton stumbled up to his feet, leaning his arms on the kitchen counter like it was a life raft. He buried his head in his hands.  “I don’t need your help, I don’t need anyone’s help, I just need– I just need to finish this, then–”

“Darling, I don’t think–”

“No thinkin!” He pushed his index finger onto Roman’s lips. “No thinking, that’s for Logan. Tonight, we’re not thinking of anything– not thinking about anything anymore.”

Roman was taken aback. 

“Patton, we can continue,” he said gently, “but only if you sit down first and let me grab you some water, okay?”

Patton lifted his head to face Roman, his eyes red from the tears. 

“Why do you take care of me?” he suddenly asked, his voice a small whimper. Roman froze as he continued. “Why do– why do any of you care?”

“Patton, I–”

“I don’t do my fucking job right anyway,” Patton hissed. “I’m– I’m broken junk in Thomas’ brain! I can’t even do the right and wrong thing, I can’t– I can’t make him happy. I can’t make you guys happy– ‘n I  love you guys! God, I can’t even make stupid cupcakes–”

“None of that is true, Pat,” Roman tried to protest. “You make us extremely happy, you make me– ”

“You’re a liar!” Patton cried, turning on his heel to stare at Roman, whose heart dropped. “You’re– you’re a fucking liar, Roman.”

The air suddenly felt too thick for both of them to be breathing. Patton must have noticed that because as soon as the words left his tongue, he covered his mouth with his hands with teary eyes. 

“...Patton, please sit down. You’re not thinking straight.”

“M’not–”

“I know.” Roman tried to keep his voice levelled as he spoke. “Just...just sit down, okay? We’re going to talk it all through.” 

Patton just stared at him blankly for what seemed like an eternity before finally speaking up. 

“I’m sorry.”

And before Roman could plead for him one last time, Patton sunk out, the bottle of rum still in his hand.

Roman blinked at the spot Patton once stood in, all shaky and teary like he was facing an inky, twisted nightmare. His words echoed in his head and while Roman knew it was best not to take it all to heart, he still felt the sting of each curse. 

What kind of a hero was he?

He then looked at the splattered mixture on the floor and sighed. It looked a lot like cake mix. And if there was rum in that, it probably would’ve been good. A shame, really.

His eyes then spotted a book on the kitchen counter, open to a page that had a bit of rum on it judging by the smell. Roman frowned, going over to grab it. He closed it to look at the cover. 

It seemed to be Patton’s recipe book, judging by the baking-themed stickers littering the blue cover. When he opened it, he was greeted with pages of ingredients and instructions to make some of Patton’s signature baked goods. The first few pages made Roman smile; there were puns besides some of the ingredients and even cheesy references to him, Logan, and Virgil. It seemed very Patton-esque. 

But as he went further through the pages, the tone seemed to shift. There was an absence of puns for one of the recipes, and Roman knew he could’ve at least hit a few. And when he got further than that, he just stopped writing measurements all together. The rum cupcake recipe, which seemed like a recent entry, was barely decipherable. 

He flipped back a few pages and saw words scratched out; sentences that didn’t belong in a typical cookie recipe. And the corners of some of the pages were crisp, as if water dried on them over time. 

Roman’s breath hitched as he closed the book. Something was wrong, and for the first time he didn’t know what to do.

----------------------------- 

~ whats good-berry muffins ~ 

ingredients

who

cares

theyre

just

stupid

muffins

berries, probably

––  

“Roman, he did not mean what he said,” Logan said as Roman paced in front of him. “Perhaps you caught him at a bad time.” 

“A bad time?” Virgil echoed incredulously, turning around on the couch to face Logan. “Dude, he was wasted. That’s not a bad time, that’s a ‘code red’ time.” 

“Besides, shouldn’t you be advocating for intervention,  lo -ve of my life?” Roman asked, still pacing. “You seemed pretty upset about the now-called ‘marshmallow incident’.”

Virgil gave Logan a look and Logan looked down, almost embarrassed. 

“...I have since realized that my actions were not ideal, but that is to no fault of my own. Holding guilt does no good, and neither does intervening when one does not want to be...intervened upon.”

“Okay first off, even Janus lies more subtly than that.” Logan didn’t make eye contact with him, but stiffened at Virgil’s words. “And second of all, Patton  needs support. We’re supposed to be there for him – not just waiting for the most dire sign. The plane is crashing, Logan; you can’t just put your seatbelt on and wait. You have to do something.” 

“Actually, if an airplane is crashing and you are instructed to put your seatbelts on, it is of your best interest that you–”

“For Odin’s sake,” Roman groaned. “I love you, my nerd in shining armour; but you got to learn what a metaphor is.”

Logan fell quiet as Roman continued. 

“We need to do something. This isn't a typical Patton dilemma. And I know he doesn’t want to talk about it just out of the blue so we can’t confront him. We have to figure out a way for him to trust us.”

“He loves us,” Virgil grumbled, though hints of anxiety singed the edges of his words. “Shouldn’t the trust be there already?”

“Virgil, he loves us an infinite amount,” Logan said reassuringly, finally settling back into the chair. He pushed up his glasses. “In fact, he probably loves us too much to want to worry us or cause us any emotional strain.”

“But it wouldn’t cause us– well, whatever you said!” Virgil protested. He slumped over, his elbows pressed into his thighs. He looked defeated. “I just want to help him. I can’t stand seeing him like this.” 

“I know, stormcloud,” Roman murmured, sitting down beside us. “But...but we can do this. Together. We always have and now, we will.”

Logan nodded, tapping his shoulder so Virgil could rest against it. 

“Roman is correct. Besides, we do not even have to confront him. Perhaps confrontation is where part of this issue stems from. The trust is there, we just have to remind him that we are willing to, given that we are his partners. We just need to make a comfortable environment for–”

Suddenly, Virgil felt a small tug in his chest; as if something was pulling him downwards. His eyes widened and his breath hitched at the sensation. He knew where it was coming from. 

“Guys, it’s Patton. Something’s wrong.” 

In a flash, he sunk out, Logan and Roman soon following suit. Roman pulled out his sword just in case.

When they rose, they found themselves in Patton’s room; though it was less bright than usual. The fairy lights were flickering and swaying against the walls and the frames were all askew. It looked as if it was struggling to keep itself together. 

And in the middle of the room was Patton, on the floor and tugging at his hair as he cried, heaving into each sob. Surrounding him were boxes of half-summoned muffin mix, as well as some sugar slowly fading out of existence. In front of him was his recipe book, tearstained and ripped at the edges. 

Virgil immediately went to Patton’s side, scooping him up into his arms. Patton made no effort to protest, his body still clenched up from all the energy he was spending summoning the ingredients into his room. In the corner of his eye, he could even see the beginnings of what would be an oven.

“Patton,” Virgil heard Logan breathe out, still standing in the same spot behind them, almost in shock. “You are spending too much energy summoning all these things, your room nor your form cannot handle it. Why don’t you just go to the kitchen?”

Patton sobbed even more, tugging at his hair and curling up into Virgil’s chest. Virgil looked up at Logan over Patton’s hunched shoulders and just shook his head, his eyes flickering between him and Patton. 

Logan then made a small ‘o’ shape with his mouth, slowly approaching the two on the floor and sitting cross-legged beside him. He made an attempt to lower Patton’s hands from his hair. Eventually, it turned into him rubbing small circles in Patton’s back with the palm of his hand, softly whispering “it’s okay” under his breath as he moved closer to him and Virgil. 

Roman dropped his sword onto the floor and followed suit, grabbing a fluffy blanket from Patton’s bed and going behind his three boyfriends, laying the blanket over their shoulders as if he was shielding them from the unstable room surrounding them. He hovered over their shoulders for a while before kneeling down and hugging all three of them. 

And as the ingredients slowly disappeared around them, the room began to fix itself. Patton could breathe a bit slower now, yet the others curled up into him like the warm blanket they were surrounded by. 

Eventually, Patton realized that he was no longer crying;  yet everyone stayed. 

And then, Patton fell asleep;  and they stayed for that too. 

----------------------------- 

~ Don’t Forget-ti That We Love You Funfetti Cake* ~

 Ingredients:

 For the cake

1 and 2/3 cup (210g) all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda (because so-da one for us!) [1]

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup (1 stick or 115 g) unsalted butter, melted

3/4 cup (150g) granulated sugar

1/4 cup (50g) packed light brown sugar

1 large egg

1/4 cup (60g) yogurt

3/4 cup (180ml) milk

1 Tablespoon (15ml) pure vanilla extract

2/3 cup (90g) sprinkles (nonpareils not recommended**) 

For the buttercream

1 cup (2 sticks or 230g) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature

3–4 cups (360-480g) confectioners’ sugar

1/4 cup (60ml) heavy cream

2 and 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

salt, to taste

 *Virgil actually came up with this and thinks its so lame so thats why that’s the name LOL ~ Roman

[1]  Roman wrote this pun but I am making the executive decision to retract this comment from the original script because it is not a necessary part of the recipe.

**can you tell that lo was the one who wrote the recipe ~ v 

–– 

Patton tried his hardest to fight the pull coming from the kitchen. 

It’s been a few days since the others found him in his room after his failed ‘bake muffins in isolation’ mission and Patton hadn’t dared to bake since. After all, if that incident wasn’t a good enough warning, the other times they found him in the kitchen were. He couldn’t let them see him like this again, what ‘this’ was. 

The others thought they knew he was upset about something, but Patton didn’t know how to tell them that he didn't even know what he was feeling. He wasn’t upset, he wasn’t stressed; he was just feeling every feeling, all at once.

And he didn’t know what to do. 

Baking was the only thing he could do when he felt like this. He longed to see a smile on Virgil’s face; to watch Logan actually eat and enjoy it rather than talking about how it didn’t matter that they ate; to laugh as Roman scarfed all of it down and ask for the recipe. The recipe book was actually going to be Roman’s gift for their anniversary. It made his heart ache even more knowing that it wasn’t good enough for him anymore. 

When he felt everything or nothing at all, he would just bake and watch as the people he loved were filled with joy; and Patton, selfish as it is, would bask in the sunlight they radiated. If he kept baking and kept making them happy? Well, their light could never disappear. 

But then, it did.

And Patton couldn’t bear to stand in the darkness of that kitchen anymore. 

Still, the tugging persisted. Patton secretly hoped that him pitying himself would guilt whatever force was summoning him to the kitchen into giving up its pursuit. 

Patton sighed, tugging the strings of his cat hoodie a little tighter so that the hood with wrap around his head. Maybe if he didn’t show his face, no one would see that he had been crying for an hour or so. 

When he sunk out, he was met with a warmly-lit kitchen and a small cake in the middle of the dining table.

Patton frowned, walking towards it curiously. It was a very...rustic cake, if rustic still meant ‘messy’ in baking terms. The icing was a bit rough around the edges and he felt like the writing in icing was supposed to say “WE ❤ U” but the heart looked a bit like...well, Patton didn’t want to say. 

Still, it was rather cute. There was a small plate beside it with a fork and a slice of the cake, dots of sprinkles baked into it. Patton smiled; it seemed to be a funfetti cake! His favourite!

Patton took a bite out of the cake without really thinking about it, his smile only growing at the sweet taste. 

That was when he saw the book. 

It laid neatly beside the plate, open to a page he didn’t quite remember writing. On it were various scribbles of bright red ink mixed with blue ink, along with a note written in pencil at the bottom of the page. He recognized the handwriting immediately as he picked up the book and began to tear up. 

“Virgil, if he does not want to be summoned you cannot–”

Patton looked up from the book and saw Logan and Virgil suddenly at the entrance to the kitchen, stopped in their tracks with their eyes wide. They stared at each other for a brief moment before Virgil huffed, breaking the silence.

“See, Lo?” He kissed Logan's cheek and went on his tip-toes to ruffle his hair, much to Logan’s dismay. “Patton always comes down for cake.” 

Patton dropped the book on the table and went over to sweep the two in a big hug, warm and tight and filled with love. Virgil fell quiet, but hugged back as Logan chuckled, patting Patton’s back. 

“I sincerely hope the cake is to your standards, Patton,” he said as he pulled back. “I know that the aesthetics are not...well, they are not ideal; Roman spent so much time planning that he forgot to take into account the amount of time we’d  actually have–”

“Logan?” Patton said, his voice still scratchy from being close to tears. “I love you. It’s perfect.” 

Logan smiled brightly, the light from it almost blinding Patton. 

“You guys didn’t have to bake for me!” Patton rubbed at his eyes with a small laugh. “I know baking a cake is no easy task, especially a funfetti cake!”

Virgil shrugged. “Logan led most of it. I kinda just made sure the kitchen didn’t explode. You know how those two can get."

Patton giggled. “Of course.”

“Roman should be on his way shortly,” Logan said, pushing up his glasses. “He is acquiring a few blankets and pillows from his room.”

Patton perked up at the thought. Roman’s blankets were made of the softest, most delicate velvet. The idea made his chest warm up.

“You guys did all of this for me?” Patton asked, his voice small. 

“Of course we did, Pat.” Virgil held Patton’s hand and kissed it softly. “We love you. And we want to be here for you; even in the less-than-ideal times. You would do the same for us.”

“But we do not expect you to dwell on your emotions if you do not feel comfortable doing so,” Logan continued as he went over to the dining room to grab the cake. “If you would like, we can watch Disney movies and eat cake and provide a distraction. However, we want to reassure you that we are here to listen to whatever is troubling you, so whenever you feel comfortable, please do not hesitate to reach out.” He paused. "We do not have to find a solution right now. We can metaphorically 'sit in the feelings' for a while."

Patton smiled as Logan arrived at his and Virgil’s side. He kissed Patton’s shoulder softly before making his way to the living room, where Patton could hear Roman rambling about what movie would be the best to watch; and he heard Logan’s rebuttals come after. 

And walking out of the kitchen and into the living room could only be described as a slow-moving blur. Patton watched as Roman spotted him and swept him up into a big hug, startling Virgil who was later brought into the hug as well. He watched as Logan gave them an amused smile, patting the blankets Roman arranged under a pillow fort in front of the TV, the opening to Tangled—Patton’s favourite—playing on the screen. 

“I love you guys,” Patton murmured as he sat in the middle of the pillow fort, a plate with cake in front of him. Logan sat beside him with a nod, kissing his head as he summoned four forks with a smile. Roman and Virgil found their way somehow into the tangled mess of each other, cuddling against Logan and Patton until they were the closest humans, or sides, could ever get.

And no one complained when Patton paused the movie when Eugene got stabbed, crying a bit and telling them about how that scene sort of reminded him about what he felt the night before. No one left when Patton began to spiral a bit from that and sob into his cake, finally admitting to them his thoughts and how he had just been feeling everything. 

And then, everyone stayed; even after that. 

[random-mha-thoughts]

Truth (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Crack, fluff

Summary: By some dumb luck, Todoroki’s drank some truth serum, and it’s the only way anyone finally hears what’s on his mind aka my excuse for making Todo act like an incorrect meme

Word count: 1,802

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak​

a/n: I’m back on my Todoroki BS.  Only because I had no other ideas and I was babysitting most of the day so I had to pick something that I can passively write without any intense feelings.  And because Todo deserves some crack.  Not terribly proud of it, but it was a good idea in my head so, here ya go.

"It was a mistake!  Honestly!" Hatsume cries, backed against the wall at the group of students confronting her.

"Well, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIX IT!" Bakugou yells, the most ticked off of all of them, sparks popping in his palms.

"How could you do something so irresponsible?  What were you even doing with something like that?"  Iida reprimands the girl, chopping the air as usual.

I was planning on asking Hastume for some adjustments on my hero costume, but instead I'm standing in the doorway watching a confrontation.  In addition to the two boys, Uraraka and Midoriya stand behind them, slightly flustered but still cross.  Yaoyorozu stands with them, arms crossed over her chest in disappointment.

"Uh...?"  All of their heads snap towards me.  "What's...going on, guys?"

Before anyone has a chance to respond, Bakugou bellows, "THIS IDIOT MADE ICYHOT INTO A RUDE EMO BASTARD!"

Huh?  I blink and turn to the three standing aside for a better explanation while Iida continues reprimanding the support girl for her wrongdoings.

Yaoyorozu rubs the bridge of her nose.  "Hastume-san made a truth serum for some reason and left it in a cup of tea, which he drank."

"I thought he would've liked it to cheer him up," Uraraka twiddles her finger nervously, "He seemed more stoic and quiet than usual today.  Deku and I came for some upgrades and we saw it on the table."

"Hastume-san said I could have it, but we figured Todoroki would've liked it instead," Midoriya whines out.  "It's all my fault, I did this."

"You had no way of knowing, Midoriya, don't beat yourself up," I assure the poor boy and I quirk an eyebrow.  "But, if Hastume said you could have it, and there was a truth serum inside it, then what was she trying to...?"  I slowly turn to the girl in question.

At my train of logic, Bakugou growls and steps closer to her.  "YOU BETTER START TALKING, PINK HAIR!"

Her face becomes flustered.  "I just needed to ask him a few questions, that's all!"

"You should be ashamed of coercing your schoolmates for information like that!  That's way beyond unethical!" Iida chimes in, truly the class representative.

"Guys, why she did it is a whole side issue, the bigger thing is that she makes something to fix it," I cross my arms in front of my chest and give her a harsh stare.

Hastume waves her arms around.  "I promise it's only temporary!  It should wear off by itself in an hour or less!"

"If you're wrong, I won't have any qualms about the two of us roughing you up," I crack one of my knuckles and she nods frantically.  I turn to Bakugou.  "Wait, so what do you mean Todoroki's a 'rude, emo bastard'?"

.

"I think it's unhealthy for you to be eating all those sweets, but it's part of your quirk, so I guess you can't help it."

Frankly, Sato doesn't know how to react to that.  The confused guy was just coming out of his dorm with freshly baked cakes ready to share with his classmates when Todoroki, quite literally, violated his quirk with such a stoic expression.

"Okay, I understand the rude part," I whisper to Midoriya, covering my hand with my mouth.

"Just wait, it gets worse."

Mineta casually walks down the hall towards the two boys and waves, "What's up guys-"

Todoroki looks down at the little purple boy.  "I'd love to file a restraining order against you on behalf of every girl in this school, it's a good thing you're not pansexual or else I would've done it myself."

Mineta's jaw drops to the floor.  "I- Where-"

Kaminari laughs from behind, patting the boy's back.  "Todoroki got you good, Mineta!"

Todoroki sighs.  "I don't know how to sugarcoat this, Kaminari, but I'm afraid that being around you might make me lose brain cells.  Sero should probably tape your mouth shut.  At least then he would be a more notable classmate."

My jaw drops to the ground and I shrink back a little behind the corner so they can't see us.  "Oh...my...god."  Half of me doesn't want to go out there for fear of what he might say to me.

Kirishima eases up to the sharp-tongued boy.  "Hey, hey, where's this coming from, dude?  We're your friends."

His mismatched eyes downcast.  "Unfortunately, I was never taught how to be friendly because I was isolated for most of my childhood.  Not to mention my father isn't the most personable or kind either."

The hallways falls silent.  What is anyone supposed to say in that situation?

"I'm going to bed.  At least in sleep, I can feel a percentage of the sweet relief of death," Todoroki casually turns on his heels and walks off.

"Holy shit, it's worse than I thought," I mutter.  I've always wondered what's inside the usually quiet and proper boy's head, but this is something else.

"OI, ICYHOT!"

"For fuck's sake, Bakugou, you couldn't have just left him alone?!" I whisper-yell at his sheer stupidity.

Todoroki turns around to face the spiky-haired hothead.  "Yes, Pomeranian?"

Bakugou growls at the insult.  "I'm still not finished with you from earlier!"

There's still the same cold expression on his face.  "What more do you want?  Do you want me to say that if I wasn't hesitant to use my left side at the Sport Festival, I would've been the 1st place winner?"

The ash blond pops sparks from his hands.  "You wanna test that theory out right now?!"

Todoroki puts his hands in his pockets, still keeping his cool.  "I'd rather not waste my energy ruining this building to appease someone with a deeply rooted inferiority complex."

"You better shut up before I smash your face in!"  He bends his legs into position, about to spring.

"And I'd still be considered better looking than you."

I come out from behind the wall to calm the situation down before it escalates anymore.  "Alright, that's enough."  I glare at Bakugou.  "You didn't need to egg him on, stupid, you just made it worse for yourself."  I brace myself and turn around.  "Todoroki, just-"

"I like you."

The rest of my words catch in my throat.  Huh?  I had to look up to make sure he was looking at me.

His heterochromatic gaze fixes on me.  "You can be just as aggressive as Bakugou at times, and it's frustrating how you have so much potential to be a great hero with such a strong quirk, not to mention that you can be such a mess during practice."  He steps towards me so we're standing arm's length away.  "But you're charming and sweet as well.  Just seeing you smiling makes me feel warm on the inside.  Sometime's it's the only thing I need to see in the morning to make my day better.  And I can look into your eyes..."  He trails off suddenly.

My heart's already pounding and I can feel the heat from my blush reach my ears.  When he stops, I finally let out a breath.  I thought I was going to die if he continued.

Todoroki's expression morphs into slight confusion before his eyes widen and he looks around at all the slack-jaws and smirks around us.  A blush as intensely red as his left side colors his entire face and neck.  When his gaze finally rounds back to me, he nearly bursts into flames and slaps a hand over his mouth.  "Pardon me," he murmurs before retreating to his room.

I'm dizzy enough that I could faint, from both embarrassment and joy that the guy I like has feelings for me too.  My legs are about to give out until Midoriya holds me up.  "I guess...the serum's...worn off now," I let out shakily.

"Are you okay?"  The freckled boy looks concerned trying to balance me back onto my feet.

I nod, my thoughts a little scrambled, but I still need to address the rest of the students.  "So, uh, Todoroki was under a truth serum, which is why this all happened.  Just thought I'd let you guys know."  I lean over Midoriya's ear.  "Can you take care of the rest?"  The weightlessness in my stomach tells me I should go knock on a certain someone's door and talk to them.

The boy nods and I stumble over to Todoroki's door, leaving Iida's signature class rep voice to deal with damage control.  I take a deep breath to calm my rattled nerves as I stand there.  I'd say we're friends by association, since we both talk to Midoriya, but we've never really been alone to talk before.  Somehow, I'd developed a crush on him, but I'd never really planned on confessing.

I gather my wits and knock gently.  "Todoroki?  It's me."

There's rustling of clothes very close to the door, which means he was probably sitting behind it, before the boy opens it a crack.  He clears his throat, "Yes?"

It's cute how he's trying to sound like everything's normal.  "Can I come in?  I'd like to talk."

Without another word, he opens the door fully to let me in, closing it behind me.  He doesn't meet my eyes, trying to hide his face behind a closed fist.  The image of this normally cool guy falling apart embarrassed is priceless.  "I'm...sorry...I embarrassed you.  And I wasn't very kind to everyone else either.  My behavior was completely out of line, and I'd like to take back everything-"

"You want to take back what you said about me, too?"

His face turns even more crimson.  "If it makes you uncomfortable..."

"It doesn't, actually."

The boy finally looks at me, childish shock clear in his eyes.  It makes me want to hug him and not let go.  "Really?"

I nod, "I'm just a little upset that you cut off where you did."  I close the distance between us and tug the fabric on his sleeve.  "What did you want to say about my eyes?"

It seems I might have asked too much of him.  He's the complete opposite of how he was 2 minutes ago, but that's what makes this more genuine to me.  "I...was going to say...I can look into your eyes...all day."  And he finally does so.  "Because they hold the entire soul of the person I'd like to get to know."

My heart flutters at the cliche but sweet line and throw my arms around him.  "Was that so hard to say?" I tease.

"Somewhat..."

I rest my head on his shoulder.  "I like you too, Todoroki."  The words coming out of my mouth feels almost like a liberation.  And when his stiff figure finally loosens up to envelop me too, I smile.  "You know, you're gonna have to apologize to everyone formally tomorrow."

His body becomes hotter.  "I know..."

[shinjaeha]

itsay ep 4 (thoughts + spoilers)

idk even know how to even start this bc i feel like i’m just a big ball of emotions, and this ep was wild. so much happened. last ep was so wonderful and almost languid with how everything played out (esp since it focussed much more specifically on the shift in teh/oh-aew’s relationship). this ep had a bit more of everything, not just the two of them in their bubble anymore. societal forces at play, and hence much more angst. again, this isn’t a  proper analysis, it’s just me ranting and raving as usual as i semi-rewatch this again. this is very long, and there are a lot more things i want to think about in more detail at some point bc i’m mostly just skating over a lot of what happened but i gotta get these thoughts in my head out of me somehow. and i’m not sure if what i’m typing will even make sense bc i MYSELF can barely make sense of what i’m feeling but here i go anyway.

so we start off with the both of them kind of awkward after the night before which is fair enough considering what happened. actually when oh-aew’s habit started playing up again, i thought teh wasn’t going to scratch his back bc he was trying not to ~go there again after the night before, but he did and i was pleasantly surprised like oh...maybe things aren’t that bad?? (YET). also, i can imagine that it would have been reassuring for oh-aew too. like things have changed, but it’s not like teh has completely abandoned him. the touch itself is comforting, like when they were kids.

teh’s mum talking about how she wants both of her sons to bring their girlfriends around (and hounding him about bringing tarn around again) is giving me war flashbacks to my own asian relatives and i can feel the way that must crawl under his skin. I HATE when family members do that (and they always do). but for teh it must be esp hard bc he’s already constantly feeling like he’s vying for his mum’s attention over his brother, and now hoon’s bought back a girlfriend so it’s yet ANOTHER thing he feels like he has to compete with his brother over. in the back of his mind, he knows that he can’t give his mum what she wants if he’s with oh-aew (he can’t ‘win’ over hoon bc heteronormativity). teh is def prone to jealousy fairly easily, but i always feel like his emotions on that base level are also very easy to understand. i’ve been in positions like that before where i’ve felt like i’ve constantly been compared to someone else, and it makes you feel like shit. but also oh-aew having to sit through teh’s mum telling him to let her know if teh and tarn are dating?? ouch.

cue teh trying to avoid what’s going on with them and oh-aew being sad :((( they’re both in so much pain and i feel it and thank god i am no longer a teenager that’s all i can say about this.

the guitar in skyline instrumental is just...making me feel some kind of way. they have so many versions of this song and they always use the right version at the right time how is that.

so the tarn scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first thought: holy shit she looks so cute i love her crop top where did she get it i want one. second thought: but why did they make her wear a dark bra under such a light top?? i love that i was thinking this and then it all unravelled in front of me and like...the brilliance. the contrast between the scene in ep 2 (i think?) where teh accidentally peeks at her bra through the buttons of her shirt and gets noticeably flustered, and then this one where she literally wears the same bra under a light shirt ON PURPOSE to get his attention, but he doesn’t even notice?? the way she expects him to colour the hibiscus purple, but he colours it red for oh-aew instead?? it’s so incredibly telling of where his heart is at, and how his feelings have changed. anyway, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s just not all there with her anymore, and tarn isn’t stupid...she’s been picking up on the signals since the beginning (why was he so weirdly obsessed with beating oh-aew at the start? why was he willing to wake up at 4am for oh-aew but not for her? willing to tutor the rest of his friends but not spend time with her?). the way she sees him colouring the hibiscus red and it’s her wake up call, like wtf am i DOING bc of this guy????? i love how she acknowledges that her feelings for teh have made it so she’s solely focussed on him and that she hates the things it makes her do (like wearing the bra to gain his attention). ngl i was slightly worried with how they were going to use her character during these later eps with teh being so conflicted (since girlfriends in BLs are usually handled pretty poorly), but i appreciate that she’s still as fleshed out and full of feeling as she ever was. she’s so sweet, and i just wish she had better than this, but i’m glad she called teh out on it. i know he’s confused af rn, and tbh i don’t think he’s handled this as badly (atm at least) as i thought it could have gone, but at the same time, if he doesn’t decide and set his heart on what he really wants, he’s just going to end up hurting them all. LOVE that she basically tells him to get his shit together first before coming back to her. i like her so much. and that scene of teh just walking around and around at the back feeling conflicted while she drew? really reminds me of the squiggly line timeline(?) of how ep 4 was going to go that nadao released before this ep went live. also cmbyn vibes were real in that one.

the devastation in oh-aew’s voice when he asks teh to at least reply his messages ;;; it’s like teh wants to go back to just being friends and oh-aew has kind of accepted that at this point, but at the same time, teh’s not backing that up. he says he wants to be friends, but he doesn’t know how to act ‘normal’ about it anymore, so he pushes oh-aew away instead. good on oh-aew for not taking that shit and standing up for himself too. i absolutely cannot stand seeing oh-aew sad bc pp’s sad face/voice is so good it actually pains me.

notice how teh ALWAYS uses studies/tutoring as an excuse to get closer to oh-aew again...hmmm...does oh-aew see it for what that is now too? that “you’ve never understood me” hit me like a fucking train. to think that they were so attuned to one another last ep, but now teh’s too caught up in he’s own world to realise just how much he’s hurting oh-aew. thanks, i hate it.

i know that he’s needs to figure himself out more and i absolutely stand by the fact that he needs to do that without messing around with either oh-aew or tarn (and also that he’s using studies again to get into oh-aew’s good books instead of talking through feelings and all that), but the chinese idiom book that he made for oh-aew was actually SO CUTE and romantic. all this stuff he does for oh-aew to show that he clearly cares so much, yet he can never accept it enough to get the words out...

I SWEAR THEY PLAY THE INSTRUMENTAL SKYLINE JUST TO CHOKE ME UP. the darting around each other after the neck kiss COUPLED with the skyline instrumental?? it’s like a sad beach scene 2.0. teh making the first (intimate) move this time. every time he’s trying so hard to convince himself he’s not in love with this boy, and every time he keeps coming back. i always feel such a weird mix of happy and sad when i see them together bc i love them but i know teh in particular, is just not ready yet. like the hug scene made my heart leap, BUT they did it in hiding (under the staircase). all their big intimate scenes are in hiding and that just :(((

teh saying that he loves the seawater on his back bc it holds him up, and oh-aew saying but you have to hold your breath in that posture and it gets uncomfortable so he likes letting it go and just sinking sometimes instead (obv paraphrasing but you get the drift)?? THE WRITING IN THIS. it says so much without telling the audience directly...so poetic. everything about this show is so poetic. the way they sink into the ocean and into that space of oh-aew’s where you can just let yourself go without holding back, and then and only THEN does teh finally kiss oh-aew. and it’s beautiful, after holding back for so long, but it’s also painful bc he’s let go but only within this tiny pocket of space and time. in hiding again. that bird’s eye view shot where you can’t see them at all sealed it for me. like you want to be happy, but you can’t really bc you know that they’ve still got so much more to go...like when teh’s hand grazes oh-aew’s chest and you see oh-aew realise again...like that’s partly what stopped teh the first time in ep 3. when his hands stopped at oh-aew’s chest like it hit in for him that he was a boy. anyway, love that they gave us a skam kiss but i’m also very sad. on another note, how the hell did they hold their breath for that long?????

love that they gave us a further 2 more seconds of teh/oh-aew being cute (CONSTANTLY thinking about teh’s fingers dancing across oh-aew’s face and smushing his face in his hands...oh-aew holding the back of teh’s head...just a brief moment of carefreeness) before they went for the jugular. watching teh fight against himself in this way is what hurts. oh-aew begging him to just let go and accept what they are (the way he keeps going “what did i do wrong?? you feel it too!!”) but he’s so tortured he can’t do it. it’s downright fucking heartbreaking. the “one day i’ll stop feeling this way”...could have just stabbed oh-aew and it would have hurt less. all i know is i’m hurting for the both of them. the repression is real, and it just sucks. this whole thing fucking sucks for both of them (and tarn and bas too at that). idk it just gets me that oh-aew is coming out of this having been rejected once again bc teh isn’t ready yet. and i know this but it doesn’t make me any less upset. not at any of them bc it’s hard i know it’s hard...just at the situation. sometimes it feels like teh’s taking a step forward but then he takes two more back instead. the look on teh’s face when oh-aew was like let’s stop being friends...total devastation. i’m done. don’t want to think about it anymore.

i’m glad that oh-aew’s parents are so supportive of him though. i wasn’t sure how close they were based on their previous interaction but they really love him and i’m glad he has that stability to help him through this.

THE SCENE WITH OH-AEW AND THE BRA FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY. this show is always keeping me guessing, and again yet another thing that i wasn’t expecting but it was so visceral. the red of the bra in comparison to tarn’s bra with the purple hibiscus flowers on it...everything connects. oh-aew looking into the mirror with that bra on and thinking about how things would have been different if only :((( and then his breakdown when he realises that it’s not and that’s the reality of the situation. the feeling that gave me sits so deep within my chest i can’t even begin to carve it out.

teh masturbating when he sees that picture of oh-aew and to that picture of yongjian on his wall (idk why it only now just occurred to me that yongjian is always in red too)?? the self-hatred in this scene. the internalised homophobia. my heart feels so heavy.

he KEEPS reaching and it’s going nowhere bc it won’t ever be enough, and that’s not fair on himself and it’s not fair on tarn. like i understand what he’s going through, and i get that he’s extremely confused and needs the clarification, but when he asks tarn to tell her she loves him and he can’t do the same back for her...i just feel so, so, so fucking bad for tarn.

oh-aew hoping that the worksheets left for him were from teh (which would be very on brand of him), but then seeing bas :( maybe in another world, in another life (like teh and tarn)...but he’s such a sweetheart. bas, best boy ;;;

legit as soon as the gang came to see teh off to bangkok and talk to him about how oh-aew was doing terribly (and wasn’t planning on going to the admission exams) i knew where this was going to go. there’s been so much foreshadowing leading up to this, and this was also one of (if not my main theory) with how things were going to eventually play out. but tbh for some reason i thought it was going to play out later in ep 5...but like damn. damn. the way i understand but at the same time i kept going OH TEH :( throughout this. the utter STRESS this bit put me through. THE MISCOMMUNICATION.

anyway, teh’s love language is clearly acts of service. but it can really be to his detriment when he does things impulsively (albeit with care and good intentions), but he doesn’t use his words so things get lost in translation. sometimes actions just aren’t enough and you really do need words to communicate.

the confirmation scene was so tense...even now i’m just sitting here thinking about it and there’s a hole in my stomach at the thought of what teh must be going through and what he ends up doing. like when that last person on the list shows up and you KNOW it’s going to happen but at the same time it’s like a punch to the chest bc there’s just no doubt that teh’s going to turn it down for oh-aew...OF COURSE he would. oh-aew’s split moment of happiness before realising what teh’s done...the absolute dread i still have in me at the realisation of this.

the tension really kept increasing from here on in...teh coming home and his mum just being so fucking proud of him and telling everyone in the restaurant about how happy she is for him (all while teh is absolutely depleted), then tarn coming in and everything bubbling over when she realises what teh’s done too. realises that teh’s in love with oh-aew (smile is so great in this btw like WOW). the “you hurt me and i’m alright with that, teh, but right now you’re hurting yourself” broke my heart. absolutely love tarn as a character and only ever want the best for her.

when he tells his mum :((((((((((( and his mum just goes on about how hard he’s worked and how much he’s already sacrificed only for him to throw that away. he wanted her to be proud of him SO BAD, wanted to not be compared to his brother for once, only for him to give away his place bc he loves oh-aew more than he wants his mother’s praise. more than he wants to compete and ‘win’ against his brother. when she points to hoon and goes “why can’t you be more like him?” and he just loses it. like rubbing salt in the wound. i’m so glad hoon finally hugged him the way i’ve been wanting to this whole time. the banner congratulating him that teh’s mum made with all his materials from before :((( hoon giving him money for uni :((( you ever watch some things and feel like you’ll never be happy again...

okay the way that everything spiralled during the ig story fight?????? what gets me is that teh sacrificed his place thinking that oh-aew wasn’t going to sit the exam at all (he could have just talked to him and convinced him instead but ughhh i understand i get it). oh-aew thinks he did it bc teh didn’t believe he could get in himself (which of course then spurs him to give it up so he can get in through the exam instead). and when teh sees that, it’s like a smack in the face, like he went through all that only for oh-aew to reject it (him). it’s just layers upon layers of miscommunication and the anxiety of it all absolutely guts me. and then the anger mixing into devastation when he opens his book and sees how it’s all cut up. the remnants a reminder of everything he’s done for oh-aew. this boy that he adores but can’t accept he has feelings for. it’s just this mix of anger and sorrow and what have i fucking done?????? and how could he????? the cast were all fantastic but billkin really had to go above and beyond in this one and i could absolutely feel his pain throughout this.

TO PIGGY BACK ON THIS, like i said before, teh has always used studying/tutoring as a tool to get closer to oh-aew, but seeing that book with all the words gone was in part also him realising he doesn’t have that anymore. he can’t use that tool to get close to oh-aew anymore. the only way forward would be to actually get close to oh-aew without the pretences. and the saddest part of this all is that oh-aew doesn’t even NEED all of that (the tutoring, the book of idioms, the relinquishing of his uni spot)...the only thing he wants is for teh to ADMIT his feelings out loud. to admit that he feels the same way about oh-aew that oh-aew feels about him.

it’s funny bc in the last ep, the conversation that had me feeling the most nervous was when they’re talking at the cape, and oh-aew’s telling teh that he’s a rival and inspiration to him. i always KNEW this was going to come back to haunt them. like a constant circle. friends to rivals to friends to more than friends(?) to rivals. it’s a fine line. narratively, it always had to happen, and now they’re back to competing against one another yet again, and it’s going to be so tough bc they’ll have so much more competition on top of that as well.

next ep is going to be very, very hard on teh, but somehow after this ep, i just feel a lot more hopeful about it? i’m pretty convinced at this point that it won’t end in tragedy (which was the thing that i wanted least of all). of course i want both teh and oh-aew to end up together, but i can understand if they don’t. if this ends with them rekindling their friendship again, that’ll be enough for me. their relationship has been so turbulent and passionate that it needs some stability, and hopefully when teh’s in a better state of mind, when he’s at a place when he’s finally accepted all parts of himself, they’ll get there. so if that means it ends on them running to the cape together (even if they’re not technically together) fulfilling their promise to one another in the sunset, then that’s fine with me. i don’t mind an open ending if it makes sense in the context of the story, and i think something like that would. it’s like after such an angsty episode, you need a slight reprieve from it. i have no doubt in my mind that ep 5 will contain darkness, but i do think that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. so for once i feel truly hopeful about it.

i can’t believe we only have one more ep left to go...

[mysingularitybts]

Glances a Jung Hoseok One-Shot

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x famous!reader

Genre: romance

Warnings: smut

Part 1

Part 2 

As soon as I got home I let out a deep sigh. What had just happened? How can a person affect me this way? I have dated in the past and none have ever made me feel this flustered and out of control.

I decided to go to bed since it was late and tomorrow I had to go to the studio, yet when I closed my eyes instead of darkness greeting me it was his sharp eyes staring deeply at me. It was the smirk he threw me all night and it was the heat I felt when we came into contact.

I couldn't keep this to myself or I would drive myself crazy. So, I did the only reasonable thing... I called Nari, my best friend. The phone rang many times and just as I was about to give up hope Nari's groggy voice greeted me.

"What Y/n?" she grumbled into the phone.

"Something happened and I don't know what to do about it," I answered desperately

"Are you okay? Where are you?" she worriedly asked.

"Yes, I'm okay. Well, kinda. I'm home" I huffed into the phone.

"Y/n, you are worrying me," she told me. I felt her bedsheets ruffle as she got up.

"I met BTS," I let out as if it was the most tragic thing ever.

"Really?! That's great!" she exclaimed, ignoring my tone.

"I'm not finished,"

"What... don't tell me you hooked up with one of them?! Who was it?" she then again yelled into the phone.

"None of that," I answered, rubbing my tired eyes out of frustration.

"Damn it y/n just tell me already!" Nari fumed.

That's how I spent almost an hour recalling what happened in the past 12 hours. As I told the story Nari would release oh's and ah's. I think she thought for a second my life was a drama.

"So, what do you think?" I asked hoping to get some advice out of my best friend.

"Holy shit that was intense," she exclaimed. I just hummed at her reaction.

"I can't get him out of my head," I whined, throwing myself face down on the bed.

"Sadly I can't help you that much. The only thing you can do is wait for him to ask you on that date which I guess should be soon," she tried reasoning with me.

"How do you know?"

"He will want to go out with you before he leaves LA, duh," she explained simply.

"You're right, you are so smart," I said as she let out a noise agreeing, "I'll try to sleep now, goodnight!"

"Night!"

I tried to sleep once more, but this time I was so exhausted physically and emotionally that I fell asleep in a few moments not allowing the rapper's actions to haunt me.

The next day I felt a lot better and had a better grip on my emotions. I went to the studio and had some recording done. I also got some writing done having found some inspiration on the dark-haired man.

At around noon I went out for lunch with Carly. Stepping into the studio a huge flower arrangement greeted me. It was very colorful making me suspect who it was from. Carly just looked at me with a raised eyebrow waiting for an explanation.

I ignored her as I searched for a card to confirm my suspicion. I found it between the many flowers I quickly took and read through it a smile forming on my face.

'Sweetheart,

Would you do me the honors of having dinner with me at 8?'

-Hoseok

Xxx-xxx-xxxx'

Not wasting a single minute I searched for my phone and typed a simple message

'Yes ❤️ - y/n'

He answered very rapidly with a message of his own.

'I'm so happy to hear that sweetheart. I'll pick you up."

I made sure to send him my address when a chuckle behind me startled me.

"Huh?" I dumbly said.

"Who's got you blushing?" Carly asked accusatorily at me.

"Nooo oneeee," I said innocently.

"Is it one of BTS?" she asked knowingly.

"How did you know?" I asked, baffled at her guess.

"Nobody else caught your attention yesterday, honey," she explained.

"Yeah, it's J-hope," I answered, playing with my fingers hoping she wouldn't scold me.

"Okay, just be careful, okay?" She said with a supporting smile, "I'm not saying they're bad, but they are very busy guys and you also have your career to be worried about."

"...I know I'm just hoping for the best,"

"Let me know where you'll be so I can give a fake lead to the paparazzi. I don't want them bothering you today and spreading fake rumors,"

"THANK YOU SO MUCH CARLY I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH," I squealed in her ear as I gave her a huge hug.

This is why I loved Carly. She always gave me the freedom to explore. Even if it came with a hundred warnings. I knew it was because she cared about me.

Going back to work I tried to rush through it so I could go home earlier. Seeing my rush Carly just told me to leave and go enjoy my date. I didn't question as I picked up my stuff and almost ran out the door.

Once home I had a bath and made sure to exfoliate my skin so it was silky smooth. Having some extra time I put on a face mask so my skin was also on point. I was going the extra mile to impress Hoseok.

At around 5 I began doing my hair and makeup. I opted for straightening my hair making it look shiny and long, I took the two front strands and tucked them behind my ears. For the makeup, I did a soft, neutral, glam look with a red lip. Then the hard part came...choosing what to wear.

I remembered he mentioned we were going to a restaurant so I began searching for a dress.

I picked a black silky dress. It reached my mid-thigh, had an open back, and only showed a bit of cleavage in front. Looking at myself in the mirror I looked hot!

At exactly 8 PM my doorbell rang. I went down and opened the door to see a very handsome looking Hoseok in a black suit and a white button-up. The first few buttons of it undone.

"Hey," Hoseok greeted me as I opened the door.

"Hi," I shyly said, noticing how his eyes took in what I was wearing.

"You look stunning," he complimented not missing to shoot me a grin. l

"Thank you," I said, not knowing how to proceed my nerves taking the best of me.

"Ready to go?" He asked, offering me his ringed hand.

"Definitely," I answered, placing my palm in his embracing the warmth he emitted.

The first minute of the car ride was a bit awkward, but it quickly dissipated as we began talking about our day. Once we got to the restaurant we had a full conversation going.

He brought me to a very notorious restaurant in LA. It was known in the industry as the restaurant to go if you wanted a bit of privacy since it had many entrances and even though it had lots of windows you could see inside without actually being inside.

Tonight there were no paparazzi outside, thanks to Carly I believe, so we used the main entrance. Once inside the waiter quickly led us to a table and gave us the menu. After taking our order our conversation resumed.

"Nari and I used to get into so much trouble and we didn't even do anything horrible. We would always just prank her brother," I laughed remembering the old days, "He used to be a cry baby and that's what got us in trouble."

"Poor boy with two crazy girls torturing him," Hoseok teased chuckling at my memory.

"We didn't torture him! It was like a competition we had to see who could make him cry first," I tried defending myself but realized Nari and I were a bit cruel to six-year-old Youngjin.

"I remember when we were still trainees we did something similar with Jungkook," Hoseok said trying to recall the memory, "Sometimes he'd be upset and we'd simply say 'You're going to cry?' and it was like a trigger."

"You see it's fun!" I exclaimed giggling.

Somehow as the night went on his hand found mine at the table. He held it delicately, his hands were soft and warm, his rings in contrast were freezing.

"How is your album going?" He curiously asked, changing the subject.

"It's getting there... There are still a few songs missing and I'm working with some other ones to make them better. Hopefully, by next year it will be released," I uncertainly said, "This album is a bit more complicated since I'm trying to explore a new sound," I explained.

He just nodded his head letting me talk. I loved that he would just listen to what I had to say now and then adding to it or giving me his advice. We had a good conversation and I got to know him on a more personal level. He was a bright guy always looking for the positives whose smile made you smile. He was so supportive too and whenever he talked about his work you could sense the passion going out of his pores.

The night went in a blur and dessert soon came. He took me by surprise as he fed me some of it and then cleaned my bottom lip with his thumb as some chocolate was left behind. It was both sexy and sweet.

When we finished eating we went up to a little terrace in the building where you could see the view of LA and all of its twinkling lights. We stood there looking out at the view, it was peaceful.

I heard him clear his throat and call my name, "Y/n?"

"Yes?" I asked turning to look at him.

He looked nervous standing there playing with the rings on his finger. He looked hesitant so I extended my hand to hold his and reassure him.

"I am so glad you agreed to the date," he began saying his eyes on the floor, "When I met you I didn't expect to feel such a great connection to you."

"I'm glad I wasn't the only one that felt it," I told him softly.

Feeling more confident he raised his eyes to mine, "Even though we haven't known each other for a long time I find myself caring about you a lot and I can't seem to get you outta my head. I would really like to keep seeing you and I know it might not be so easy with me being on tour and you with your work, but I would really like to try..."

I stood there shocked. I hadn't expected him to reveal his feelings so rapidly, but I also understood why he did it. If he didn't do it now then when? Our lives are so hectic you don't know when the next time you'll see a person will be, so, you need to hold tight to them.

"If you don't want to, I'll respect that, but please think about it," he finished saying at my lack of response.

He gave me a defeated look as I didn't respond immediately or even after a few seconds. I was trying to organize my thoughts, if there was one thing I was sure of it was that I didn't want to let him go.

"I don't have to think about it," I said, squeezing his hand, "I would love to keep seeing you. After all, you've made me feel things I never thought I could feel."

At my confession, Hoseok's eyes regain that spark that was unique to him.

With his confidence returning he asked, "Does that mean you would like to give this a try and be my girlfriend?"

"I would love too," I excitedly giggled.

Facing him, I briefly looked down at our hands. His thumb lightly brushed against my skin and I smiled as he pulled me closer to him. My eyes met his but not for long as I glanced at his lips once I saw him do the same. He let go of my hands and gently moved them to my waist as I placed mine on his arms. He got closer to me until his lips met mine in the sweetest of kisses. I could tell how nervous he was and I was too, yet I also felt overwhelming joy at the same time. His lips were warm and inviting with a hint of chocolate from our previous dessert. We fit together, not just emotionally, but physically as if we were two puzzle pieces that lost each other long ago and finally found each other. I felt his grasp on my waist tighten slightly as my hands moved to his chest. His heartbeat was erratic and I smiled into the kiss knowing I had the same effect on his as he did on me.

We pulled apart, I opened my eyes to see him gazing at me. An unidentifiable feeling filled my heart as we went back in for another kiss not having quite enough. While the first kiss was sweet and tender this one was full of fiery passion. Our lips moved more feverishly desperate to feel each other, he pulled me even closer having me flush against him. The heat rose as I felt his tongue ask for entrance and without hesitation, I parted my lips. My hands then traveled to the back of his neck where they tangled themselves in his hair. We stood there for what felt like a small eternity, but eventually, we had to pull away as our lungs started burning, begging for air.

With smiles on our faces, we turned back to the LA scenery. Hoseok wrapped his arm around me and I leaned my head on his shoulder. After a few moments of peaceful silence, I asked, "What now? What else do you have planned?"

He looked at me with wide eyes, "I don't have anything else planned," he laughed, "I was too worried thinking you might reject me to plan something else."

"As if! I would never," I said in a defensive tone.

After thinking for a second I gave an idea, " We can go to my place... I have a bottle of wine waiting for us," I told him as I looked up at him, "That is if you want."

He looked down at me and with a kiss to my forehead he said, "Let's go."

He intertwined our hands and led me back to the car and as the gentleman, he is he opened the door for me. As Hoseok drove I couldn't help but observe him, there was something about how he gripped the steering wheel and how his eyes focused on the road that made him look so attractive.

Being so deep in thought he took me by surprise as he said, "You know it's rude to stare," he briefly glanced at my blushing face and finished by saying, "But since it's you I'll let it pass."

---------------------------------------------------------------STOP----------------------------------------------------

He placed his hand on my thigh warming it up with just a touch and as I grew accustomed to its presence he started to caress my thigh. Up and down. Up and down. Never touching where I wanted him to be making my core throb. It made the car ride unbearable and filled with tension. He knew what he was doing since when I turned to look at him he had a smirk on his lips.

I placed my hand on top of his to stop the teasing and gave him a knowing look.

He shamelessly laughed and said, "Sorry Sweetheart couldn't resist."

"All in due time Hobi be patient," I simply told him, squeezing his hand.

Once we got to my house I opened a bottle of wine and sat on the sofa beside him. It was as if he was a magnet and I was metal. We instantly attracted each other and came into contact not being able to be apart.

We had a nice conversation going about BTS's upcoming tour.

"So, wait, you just finished this tour and you have one scheduled for next year?" I asked surprised.

"It's for the new album that's dropping. Hopefully, we'll go to more places than this year," he responded excitedly while taking a drink of his wine glass.

"I don't know how you do it, I wouldn't be able to bear being away from home for so long," I admitted while watching the wine as it swirled in the glass.

"Remember I have the guys who are practically my family," he explained with a fond smile, "Besides we've worked so hard to get to where we are now we're scared it will all go away if we take a break."

To some extent, I understood his worry. In this industry one day, you could be on top and the next on the bottom. There was always a search for the next new talent, but there were also people who would do anything to be on top even if it meant playing dirty.

"I doubt it though you have the best fanbase in the world," I reassured him.

It was the truth ARMY was always consistent. They always tried to support BTS to the fullest even if they made mistakes.

"Is that so?" he asked, tilting his head.

"Of course I've been a proud ARMY since practically the beginning," I reminded him.

"So tell me who is your bias?" he asked, getting even closer cornering me in between the sofa and him.

"Hmm? I'm not sure..." I teased with a grin.

"Is that so? There must be somebody," at this point his nose was brushing against mine.

"W-w- well there is Namjoon but my heart's not set on it yet...there is time for it to change," I told him trying to gauge his reaction.

"Then let me convince you," With every syllable, he said he pulled me closer till the gap between us was no more and our lips touched in a searing kiss.

Our lips moved in unison as if we had practiced it a million times before. We separated for a split second placing the half-drunk glasses on the table, yet our lips crashed once again not wasting a single moment.

My hands found themselves around his neck playing with his dark tendrils. I pulled on them and the most beautiful sound came from his mouth, a deep and sinful moan. Wanting to hear it again I pulled again and my ears were blessed with the wicked sound.

His hands pulled me into his lap making me straddle him, as they then roamed my body leaving a fiery trail behind causing goosebumps to arise.

He started trailing kisses around my neck finding my sweet spot and sucking on it, making me moan and grind my hips over his groin which in turn led him to buck up against me.

My hands moved across his chest feeling his hard lean muscles contract. I couldn't get enough of it. I needed more of his burning skin. I had to feel the heat he emitted and the rapid beating of his heart.

I untucked his crisp white shirt while he marked my neck with purple flowers that I would surely regret tomorrow. He nipped my neck which made me leave scratch marks down his flawless chest.

He started kissing my lips again and dragged his hands to my back as he toyed with the zipper of my dress.

He pulled back and with dark and dilated eyes asked "Can I?"

Breathless I replied, "Yes."

We held eye contact as he torturously pulled the zipper down causing my dress to drop down to my waist leaving my chest exposed. My nipples hard due to arousal and the sudden temperature change. They weren't cold for long as Hoseok quickly took one into his mouth and covered the other with his palm.

All I could do was moan and whimper as he alternated between sucking the bud and rolling it with his tongue. He rolled the other between his fingers and occasionally pulled it making me whimper and say his name.

"H-Hoseok, ahh," I stuttered with pleasure while gripping his back.

"What was that sweetheart?" he asked while momentarily pulling back. His other hand lowering down to my butt and giving it a hard smack.

"Hoseok!" I screamed as pain and pleasure flooded my senses at the same time.

"Just like that," he darkly chuckled.

It was amazing to see how a person can change from a bright, sweet, and seemingly innocent to this sexy lust-filled man. Both beautiful and dangerous simultaneously.

Hoseok picked me up as I locked my legs around his waist trying not to fall and made me direct him to my room. Once in the room, that was thankfully clean, he dropped me on the edge of the bed and finished pulling off my dress. I was almost bare with only the thin layer of lace covering my nether regions.

I sat up to finish unbuttoning his shirt and taking it off in a swift motion. His chest was an amazing sight to behold. It reflected the hours of training and practice he endured daily. I kissed down his chest and stomach, making sure to leave some marks of my own, but stopped at the hem of his pants.

I looked up at him to see him staring at me with hooded eyes and slightly parted lips. Staring into his eyes I took off his belt, unbuttoned his pants, and lowered the zipper slowly to torture him just as he did to me moments earlier.

Once his pants were off I began to palm him through his underwear not missing how his hips slightly thrust at the contact and he let out a sigh. Having tortured him enough I lowered his boxers letting his member spring up. It stood proudly with a vein going up its length. His head leaking pre-cum.

I began pumping him while swiping my thumb over the tip. Hoseok groaned as he tipped his head back. He then looked at me with a mixture of confusion and desperation as I stopped my movements, but understood as I brought him to my mouth. I started bobbing my head as I worked my way deeper until I had most of him in my mouth.

Hoseok's hands grazed my shoulders not being sure what to do with them. So, I took them and placed them on my head letting him take the lead. Taking that as permission he grabbed my hair and started guiding my movements. At some point I had him completely in my mouth, I felt as my nose touched his pelvis but before I could choke he pulled me back with a string of saliva connecting me to him.

Hoseok pulled me up and started kissing me his tongue tangling with mine. He placed me by the pillows on the bed kissing down to my neck, to my sternum, down to my stomach until I felt his breath in between my thighs. He did all this while I looked at him pleadingly. He made me suffer as he kissed around my thighs making me wince now and then as he bit down.

By this point, I was dripping and he knew it. He touched me through my underwear and felt how soaked I was. With a smirk, he rubbed up and down my slit not giving me what I wanted most.

I let out a huff of frustration and he took it as a queue to begin his work. He lowered my underwear and I felt as it got stuck to me due to my arousal. He gazed at me intently while he very slowly and gently pulled them down.

I whined, dropping my head back onto the mattress which made me not notice when he brought his fingers to my heat. I gave a mix of a squeal and a moan as he rubbed my clit in circular motions. I tried clamping my legs shut due to the sensation, but he placed himself between them not allowing me.

He wasn't doing much and I was already a moaning mess. He stuck a finger into me and he cussed at how tight I felt with only a finger in. I started gripping the bed sheets around me trying to hold onto something.

"Hoseok... p-p-lease more," I begged the feeling of his finger inside me not being enough.

"Whatever you want sweetheart," he complied by inserting another of his long fingers the tightness increasing as he kept going.

The rings on his fingers added to the pleasure as they brushed against me and soon enough I started to cum, my thighs started to tremble and my eyes rolled to the back of my head. My mouth open but not letting a sound out.

He brought me down off my high slowly, not stopping immediately. As I came back to my senses I could still feel the twitch of my thighs. I hadn't noticed that at some point my hands exchanged the sheets for Hoseok hair as I released my grip on it.

"That was beautiful," he praised.

I couldn't stop the blush that covered my face.

"Don't get shy now baby," he hummed in a low voice.

Hoseok crawled back up to me and looked at me in the eye, lots of emotions swirling in them. He brushed my hair off my face and at the sweet gesture I couldn't help but bring my hands up to his cheeks and pull him down to my lips. His mouth still tasted like me but I didn't mind. I pulled back slowly as I bit his lip and dragged it out till I released it. His eyes turned darker than before at the action.

"Don't play like that sweetheart," Hoseok growled in my ear.

I acted innocently saying "What do you mean?"

"You know what," he said as his thumb went over my lips.

"I need you Hoseok," I whispered. For a second I thought he didn't hear me until he spoke.

"Whatever you want you get sweetheart."

After what felt like an eternity I felt him sink into me and we both let out a moan in unison.

"Fuck you're so tight," he groaned shutting his eyes tightly.

"Just for you," I reassured, and as I said those words I saw a fire ignite in him as he started thrusting slowly and deeply.

"Faster baby," I whined.

He complied and started going faster, his hands laced through mine. He went deep inside me making me feel full and hitting all the right spots. The sight of him on top of me was otherworldly, the way he'd let out silent groans and how his eyes focused on every little reaction I gave.

Just as I was reaching my peak he stopped his movements. Pleadingly I looked at him. He took my hand pulling me up as he sat against the headboard and in his low voice said, "Ride me."

I could only say one thing, "With pleasure."

I straddled him and slowly sunk into him. He held my hips as I bounced on him, his hands occasionally roaming to my chest. He was truly a sight to behold as the sweat dropped from his neck and chest giving his skin a gleam. Plus, the way he'd try to hide his moans and groans. The moans caused by me.

"I'm not gonna last long sweetheart," he revealed with a grimace.

"Me either baby," I agreed as I felt the knot forming in my stomach.

He then started rubbing my clit with one hand while he pulled me to his lips with the other. Just like that the uncontrollable heat between us amplified to extreme measures as we reached our climax together. He muffled my moans as he kissed me. The long kisses slowly turned into pecks until we pulled away with our breaths heavy and our foreheads touching. The heat was there but it was faint having been satisfied for now. I got off of him suddenly feeling very empty.

We laid on my observing each other and recuperating from the past activity. Hoseok caressed my arm with his fingertips relaxing me even more. After getting my breathing under control I noticed he had an infectious smile on his lips which in turn made me smile back. Sunshine Hoseok was back.

"Was everything okay?" He asked slowly, making sure I was alright.

"It was perfect," I whispered, not wanting to break the serenity of the room.

"You were perfect," he responded, pulling me closer so I laid on his chest, the one I had marked in many ways.

"Oh, stop it," I said, the smile never leaving my lips. I hoped he wouldn't notice the blush appearing on my face.

"Know what?" his voice turned serious.

"What?" I was curious to see what he would say.

"The moment you walked up to us in the awards and gave me that sweet glance... I knew I felt something for you." He confessed sweetly as we laid there basking in each other's presence.

I didn't need to say anything since he knew I felt the same.

Cuddling more into his side he kissed my head. I thought about how the time to come would be hard because of our careers, but I paid it no mind. As long as I have Hoseok by my side I would go to hell and back.  

A/N: *cough cough* well that happened. It's my first time writing smut so bear with me. If you liked it let me know! If you didn't don't worry it won't happen too often. The way I wrote the first part really didn't leave much of a choice this was what was supposed to happen.  

So, if you guys enjoyed it please let me know and make sure to like and reblog to show your support.

I'm still shook.  Honestly.

PS. I'm sorry for grammatical mistakes but I really wanted to publish it. I'll probably go back later and fix them.

See you guys later ;) 💜 x

-Nikki Marie

[inktrailing]

I stole this from @the-kaedageist because it looked fun.

(Also me: “I’ll do this meme quickly...” ... *loses track of time*)

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

78 to my greatest surprise. I guess the only favor 2020 did for me was in writing.

2) What’s you total AO3 word count?

355,868. Holy...

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

10. Critical Role, CWDC, Men in Black (movies), Supernatural, Doctor Who, PotC. Spattering of some other stuff.

4) What are your top five fics by Kudos?

Unconventional, Men in Black, Jay/Kay, 1211 kudos... somehow

Fish Tales, Men in Black, Jay/Kay, 336 kudos

meet us where the night ends, Critical Role, Essek/Caleb, 298 kudos

I see death cresting over the hill, Critical Role, Essek/Caleb, 276 kudos

message, Critical Role, Essek/Caleb, 273 kudos

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I AM REALLY BAD ABOUT THIS. It’s literally on my AO3 profile that I’m bad about it. I try every now and then but I so often just get flustered and then don’t end up responding. Oftentimes I’m at work and just flailing during the rest of my shift and yeah /)_(\ Words Are Hard, says the writer.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

OH THERE’S A COUPLE. I would say Caught in the Wires (MIB, Jay/Kay); and you know my soul (CRc2, Essek/Caleb) probably are the two worst for bad end future fics. follow me into the golden wild (DW, Rose & the Moment) is my favorite of my bad end fics though lol. I fucking love that fic hahaha, and it’s one of my least read stories XD

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t really. Not fic wise. A lot of my thought processing goes through basically using an RP format with myself (because I like icons, okay) so sometimes I’ll take wild concepts and play out scenarios with a bunch of characters and sometimes I’ll get shit out of it that I can actually use but other times I’ll have fun things that will not translate well to fic.

My fav of those was a Pokemon AU that y’know basically dragged a bunch of characters in and eventually they had to deal with a Problem like ya do while still ending up stranded. I enjoyed throwing Dean/Lucifer at that because Dean just ended up “ghost hunting” aka freeing/helping/catching ghosts and ending up with 70+ and Lucifer really only traveling around with a Zoroark and still hating humanity but helping mistreated and scapegoated pokemon.

I just really like Dean and his ghost army lmfao.

An actual crossover fic I have (and maybe one day could finish) was Arrow/The Dresden Files only because Paul Blackthorne except it uses book canon instead of TV canon because of Winter Court Bullshit so like whatever, I do what I want some days I guess \o_O/

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t... think so? I sometimes get minor disagreements on characterization but I typically write for myself and am pretty set in my ways so it’s like okay I accept your opinion but it’s not going to change anything.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I cannot write smut to save my life.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If I have I definitely haven’t noticed.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

stood too close to the flames (LoT, Mick/Len) was translated.

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

13) What’s you all-time favorite ship?

I ship so many things at the drop of a hat and so frequently go back to old ships to find new things to read even if it’s been a looooong time. I would say Jay/Kay since I’ve shipped and written them for the greatest length of time without it fading.

I do genuinely enjoy writing Dean/Lucifer though so go rarepairs I guess.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I fucking love I’ll Stop the Whole World (DW, Doctor/Master, 47k words) as I’ve pulled it up again after idk months to skim through but I suppose I learned a lot from writing lost in the lapse again and going backwards to any of my longer WIPs just hurts a bit? I want to figure it out because there’s so much I adore in it but there’s a lot of work to be done and having two monitors helps now but... I don’t have the energy to tear it apart and sew it back together.

15) What are your writing strength?

god idk

I’d like to say I’ve gotten better at I guess... balance? Juggling dialogue and action and scenery. I forced myself to work on scenery descriptions awhile back and I think it paid off?

I learned to take good notes, especially if it’s something with multiple plot threads that I need to keep track of. That’s what has made some of my older WIPs such a bitch because I didn’t do that and I’m like ????? Hey? Past Me? WHAT?!?! And retroactively trying to build a timeline is REALLY DIFFICULT ACTUALLY.

I do also think I keep my narrative parallels pretty tight. I’m sure a lot get missed because people aren’t staring at the same story that I am for months combing things over, but it delights me okay ;)

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing shit?! Well, I’ve gotten better at that over the course of the last year. Critical Role reaction fics helped A TON with that. Just spitting things out immediately after an episode.

I am a fucking perfectionist though. Like I’ll canon divergence all I want but mentally I need the basis of canon to weave into my writing even if it’s just for a single line. I like willfully breaking canon not ignorantly.

This means I either never get things done because I need to rewatch or I too meticulously obsess over something.

While I think I’m good with writing scenery I’m SUPER BAD at character descriptions?? I’m trying to?? Work on it?? But that’s one thing I’ve finally just been like okay I know I’m bad at this I just need to accept it and go on because if I get hung up on it then again, nothing’s gonna get posted.

I’ve learned that I vehemently hate the words “still” and “probably” because I white noise them even when doing intensive editing and I use them so damn much and now that I realize going back to read old things hurts my soul.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Look I grew up primarily on writing Yu-Gi-Oh! fic. I had my Time with poor use of Japanese in fic. While I don’t have any fandoms now that I write for that it would be relevant... I can’t do it anymore. However, reading it doesn’t bother me, and it generally doesn’t jar me out of anything. Like it feels normal reading it in MDZS fics for one thing.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I want to say some super wonky ~new cards~ Cardcaptor Sakura fic. But I think the first fandom I published for on FFN was likely YGO. Anything early than that I would have blacked out of my memory ahahaha.

19) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

lost in the lapse again took up my life for MONTHS and was really my pride and joy. It was the longest thing I’ve ever written and edited to my liking. I’m so so happy with how it came out and I’m shocked honestly that it has 118 kudos now because I really expected it to get maybe half that, tops. But it was definitely one of those I’m writing this for me, this encompasses what I want, and if others enjoy it that would be really nice!

Otherwise I think I’d say I see death cresting over the hill because it has so many elements I just enjoy rereading. I think it’s my favorite of my Critical Role fics too.

[kogo-dogo]

Layman’s Guide to the Sixth House

You know, it’s been a long time (literal years) since I’ve infodumped bullshit about Morrowind to people, and I feel the itch now and maybe this’ll inspire some people to actually play the damn game. If not, at least it’ll lay the groundwork for people when I inevitably angry-write some kind of twisted eldritch House Dagoth bullshit to provide myself the content I want (after I get done with all the HLVRAI/Half-Life shit I have on my plate).

OKAY COOL.

I present: “The Sixth House for Dummies: You’re Not Actually Dummies But I Will Explain This To You Anyway”

Dateline: Year 668 of the First Era

You are an elf named Voryn Dagoth. You are a very powerful elf in charge of a very powerful political house, House Dagoth, and the best friend of the war-king of your people, some asshole named Nerevar Indoril. Your people--the Chimer--are living in the shadow of a very technologically advanced, elitist, perpetually bitchy race of elves known as the Dwemer who, for a long while, were your enemies because... well, your people just stormed onto their land after an argument with their old neighbors and said, “We live here now.”

The Dwemer and Chimer only stopped fighting because other people tried to show up on your lawn and live there. And now your king, Nerevar, is trying to make that ceasefire last because it’s kind of nice to not be always beating the shit out of each other. 

But oh! There’s a problem! During some run-of-the-mill diplomatic visit with the higher-ups of the Dwemer, you discover that they’re building a goddamn, divinely inspired war machine in their basement. That... does not sound good. That actually sounds really fucking bad.

So, what do you do? You politely excuse yourself, run home at Mach II, throw open the king’s door, and yell, “Holy FUCK, you know those assholes we’ve been trying not to fight? Bitch, I think they’re going to nuke us.”

Because that is, admittedly, something a technologically advanced, elitist, perpetually bitchy race of elves would do.

So your king says, “Dude, I’m gonna go talk to them about it like a civilized adult, because me and their king are tight as fuck now that we ain’t bludgeoning each other to death. I’m sure it’s all a huge misunderstanding.”

A few hours later, though, your king comes back and says, “Okay, so. That didn’t work out how I hoped it would.”

Your name is Voryn Dagoth and you have accidentally started a war.

Dateline: Year 700 of the First Era

Okay, you are Voryn Dagoth and things were a lot worse than you expected. The Dwemer are building a literal war god out of dead god parts they found in a volcano, and now everyone is involved. Nerevar has an entire posse of people to act as advisors/generals--you; some dude named Vivec who wants to have sex with anything that moves; Nerevar’s wife, Almalexia; Sotha Sil, a mage who doesn’t know how to people very well; and this guy named Alandro Sul who nobody will remember, I promise. You are the oldest, and you do not like these other people very much, but you know what? They know what they’re doing, so we’ll let it slide.

The war has been terrible and, to be honest, considering the fact the Dwemer have goddamn robots on their side and your people are still fighting with spears, it’s impressive you’ve not been utterly destroyed. Again, these advisors seem to know what they’re doing. So much so, actually, that in a final, decisive battle, they help you and Nerevar bust straight into the citadel where they’re building this war god so you can just fight this war god yourself.

The Dwemer panic. The guy in charge of building the war god pulls out a fancy set of tools the second he sees you coming and does... some weird ritual that involves the heart of a dead god. Their entire race vanishes, bringing the war to a very anticlimactic end.

So here you are, confused, standing there with Nerevar and the Scooby-Doo Mystery Gang, holding these weird tools at arm’s length going, “What the hell are we going to do with these? The fuck is this? We should melt these down, right? This seems bad.”

Except most of the Mystery Gang (barring Alandro) is begging you not to destroy them, and Nerevar is flustered and dazed from having the ever-loving fuck knocked out of him, so he tells you, “Bro, I’m gonna go talk to god and see what she has to say about it.”

And you’re like, “... O... kay. I guess I’ll stay here.”

“Don’t let anyone touch this shit, though. Deal?”

“Yeah, cool. I won’t let anyone touch it. Go talk to god, I guess.”

And so Nerevar and the barnyard gang leave you there, alone, with these magical objects that just obliterated an entire race. And you sit there, kind of wondering how it works. So you play with them a bit--feels weird, man--but you’re still pretty thoroughly convinced these things need to be tossed in the volcano and bulldozed over. You hold this thought until the barnyard gang comes back, sans Nerevar and Alandro, covered in blood and demanding the tools.

“Where’s the boss?” you ask. Well, they tell you he’s busy or whatever and you know that’s bullshit. These motherfuckers just killed your best friend, and now they’re asking for these items that just obliterated an entire race. They don’t seem like the type of people who should have them, so you flippantly tell them that your goddamn king told you not to let anyone touch the fancy tools and if they want them so bad, they can go get Nerevar and have him come take them from you himself.

They do not like this answer.

Your name is Voryn Dagoth. Your best friend’s murderers have just killed the shit out of you and taken your impossibly dangerous tools away.

Dateline: Year 882 of the Second Era

Your name is Voryn Dagoth and you are somehow not dead. You wake up in the place you were “killed” and are incredibly pissed off by what happened. The world has changed significantly. Your people, the Chimer, are now called the Dunmer and look completely different. The guys who killed you have somehow obtained god-like powers and are worshiped as deities. Nerevar is now patronizingly considered a saint by his murderers, who also used his dead body as an undead servant and then fucking lost it somehow.

Oh, and your political house? You, your family, everyone? Have been branded “evil” and responsible for every calamity that has befallen your homeland (now named “Morrowind”, apparently, which is also different) since you’ve been out cold. They won’t even speak your name out loud. “House Dagoth” is now “The Sixth House” and “The House Unmourned” because everyone hates you. You know, for doing what you were told and not murdering your king.

Fine. Fine! Two can play at this game, can’t they? In the words of a great scholar, “I was supposed to be good, but you forced me to be bad. So I’m going to be BAD.”

You decide that you’re going to finish the war god. You’re going to take over Morrowind. Fuck, you’re going to take over the whole fucking continent. You’re going to restore order, you’re going to fuck shit up. If they’re gonna fuck with you, you’re going to fuck right back.

You plot. You scheme. When your murderers, thinking you are very dead, come back to use their fancy tools on the Heart (now with a capital H) to restore their stolen divine essence, you mug the shit out of them. You take the tools, you chase them off, you bring back your kin who were executed for just being a part of House Dagoth and you say, “Rise and shine, bitches! We’re starting a religion! Who wants to be immortal?”

And everyone raises their hands because, like, come on. Wouldn’t you?

Now you and all of your brothers and sisters are back and angry, construction on the war god resumes, and you start hardcore studying these magical tools to figure out how the fuck to use them properly. Because you are going to cram your foot so far up the asses of the people who killed you that they are going to be choking on your toenails.

Your name is Voryn Dagoth, and you are feelin’ fine as fuck.

Dateline: Year 427 of the Third Era

You are Voryn Dagoth, and things are going pretty okay. You can do a lot of weird shit with the heart of a dead god, you find, though it’s not the prettiest way to make things happen. You’ve always prized yourself on being a diplomatic and poised guy so, you know, the fact you’re having to stoop to some rough, not-very-aesthetically pleasing lows is not ideal, but it works, and that’s what counts.

Like, you can control disease. The people call it Divine Disease, and it’s got about a 50% success rate on people afflicted, with half of them becoming weird masses of tumorous growths who just drool and eat people and the other half decaying and regrowing parts until they look like weird elephant squids who are still all-there in the head but look really weird. They’re loyal and they’re good company, though, and for some reason everything the disease touches is immortal and insanely strong so. You know. It works out.

You can also mind control people, and infiltrate dreams. It’s good for recruiting people without a plague, and it’s good for issuing orders, and it’s good for freaking people out. That last one is proving to be the most useful, because all of these idiot mortals are now pointing fingers and arresting each other whenever they have a nightmare because, “Oh my GOD, Becky! You’re a DEVIL WORSHIPER.”

So, that’s fun.

The war god is almost constructed and even though it’s taken over four-hundred years (which has given an invading Empire time to take over your home; sucks to suck, huh?), you’re getting a good foothold. Stealing your fancy tools from your murderers means they’re garbage at being gods now, and you’ve managed to expand your enterprise to all sorts of caves and strongholds where your followers butcher non-believers and dance around naked by candlelight. You have assassins in major holy cities that are tearing shit up. You got operatives selling cursed idols right outside of temples in borderline plain sight.

But, lo, there is something on the horizon and it’s vaguely familiar. It’s some scraggly motherfucker that gets dumped off of a boat in the middle of a swamp, and you can’t help but feel as though you’ve seen them before. Or, well, felt somebody like them before. It’s a vibe thing, really, since they don’t look anything like anyone you know, and you don’t really know anyone because you’ve been living in a volcano for hundreds of years.

You take a special interest in this one because of the familiarity. You send them dreams, and you send them personalized invitations to come join your cult. You send your followers to watch them sleep and, like, try to kill them because you’re not sure if this is a good familiar or a bad familiar. They never really take you up on your offer or, you know, die, though.

And the longer you watch them go on, the longer you watch them do things, the more you realize... holy shit it’s Nerevar, bro.

Sure, some superstitious tribals have been chanting about how Nerevar Indoril will come back from the dead for revenge someday (as claimed by Alandro Sul, that guy that nobody remembers), but that was so far beneath your gaze that you kind of let it slide. And now here he is, amnesiac and wearing a new face but checking all the boxes, and he’s being specifically led on a path to come meet you. You know, to kill you.

So, you disease that motherfucker. Incurable god plague, baby! Except he somehow... cures the incurable god plague and he’s still coming. Jesus Christ, he’s persistent.

And... oh no, he’s siding with Vivec, the slutty guy who fucking killed him. You’re raking your claws down your face grumbling under your breath because, you dumb sack of shit, that man murdered you. Don’t listen to him, listen to me. I’m the one in the right, bro, I’m the one who was loyal to you.

And now god herself has endorsed him and he’s walking into your citadels and stealing your stolen tools back and, dude no. Stop. We were friends, bro, what the fuck is wrong with you?

And now he has the tools and he’s coming into your actual house and you’re just sighing in exasperation and trying to explain to him that, you know, you guys are friends. You will totally still let him join your side if he stops cracking open your followers’ skulls. Except he’s still skull-cracking and he’s still coming and...

... Great, now he’s right in front of you. Fantastic.

Okay, so you want to offer him amnesty one more time, but it isn’t going to work. You’re tired, you’re pissed off, Nerevar has somehow grown to believe that you are somehow in the wrong (which you are obviously not; taking over the world with a manufactured war god and a horrific plague seems perfectly justified to you), and worst of all? He has so many questions. He’s just blathering, demanding to know why you are the way you are and it’s just like.

Bro, this is kind of your fault. You left me alone with dangerous, desirable objects while you went to go talk to god. If you’d just let me destroy them in the first place, this never would have happened. Fuck it, offer rescinded. You can’t join my club anymore, Nerevar. Now throw hands or get out of my house.

So, Nerevar throws hands.

You and the reincarnation of your former best friend and king are now having a hair-pulling, spell-slinging, bloody fucking knock-down-drag-out in the middle of a volcano in the shadow of a war god. Your cultists are idiots who keep falling into lava trying to intervene. Nerevar keeps attempting to bypass you to get to the creamy, god-heart nougat at the center of your war god because you know he knows how to undo all the magical shit it’s capable of.

Somehow. Probably because Vivec figured it out and told him.

And if he gets to the Heart and he does that ritual, then your war god is done for. So are your falsely-divine murderers. And, unfortunately, seeing as those divine powers are the only thing keeping you alive after your murder, so are you.

And he’s getting so fucking close and he’s actually got there and you’re trying to burn him alive or claw his face off or literally anything you can do as your powers weaken the longer this ritual goes on until, finally, you look up and see that your war god is collapsing. Nerevar has won. The world is going black. It’s like somebody flipped an “off” switch in your brain.

Your name is Voryn Dagoth. You accidentally started a war, did all the right things, and were murdered. You tried to enact your revenge, you thought you were restoring order, and now your best friend has come back from the dead and killed you.

The last thing you see before you hit the ground is all of your hard work literally falling on top of you. You still don’t understand how any of this was your fault.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

[graffiti]

Day 12: Unrequited Love #twdgdrabblechallenge

Note: I know I’m writing about Mitch a lot but like... I can’t stop. 

AO3

---

“Dude, think you could get off your ass and help me for once?”

Mitch glances up from his comic, thumb marking his place, saying, “Nope.”

That gets him a middle finger. 

“This is your room, too, asshole.”

“My side is clean.”

“Bullshit,” Justin scoffs, eyeing the absolute mess occupying the floor, bed, and desk on Mitch’s side. “I’m not picking up your shit.”

“Then don’t,” Mitch rolls his eyes, returning to finish the page of his comic only for it to be ripped from his grip. “Hey!”

Justin tosses the comic on to the desk where it proceeds to slide off and onto the floor all while he begins scooping up a pile of Mitch’s dirty laundry. 

He then dumps that load right on top of him.

“Seriously?!” Mitch balls up a pair of jeans and chucks it as hard as he can at Justin’s head, smacking him in the side of his face. 

“I’m not fucking around, Mitch! Pick up your shit!”

Something’s off about him today. Usually, he’s just as messy as Mitch is, leaving dirty laundry on the floor, piling books up on his desk, leaving trinkets and weapons anywhere they land. Now he’s zigzagging around the room like a maniac trying to tidy up the place. 

Shit, maybe Ruby cornered him and threatened to break in and clean their room herself again. She’s a brave one to even consider that again, given that she stumbled across some dirty stuff last time. 

Justin better hide his nasty ass porn better this time because Mitch isn’t taking the fall for that one again. One lecture from a flustered Ruby would’ve been whatever, but now he’s got Marlon and some of the other guys asking for his “secret stash” and it’s fucking annoying. 

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Mitch watches Justin pull a box out from under his bed and dump the contents out. Yep, there’s the porn and some other books and boxes that he begins to sort through. 

“You want any of this?” Justin asks. “If not, I’m gonna toss it.”

“You’re gonna toss your mags?” 

“Well, not those,” Justin replies, snatching up the disgusting material and tucking them back in the box, “but these I will.” 

He hands him some books; two that are apart of some sci-fi series that looks pretty killer, one all about different insects, a bible, and a book on birds. 

“The bug one’s pretty cool,” Justin says. “There’s a whole chapter on spiders that can catch birds out of trees and eat them.”

Mitch wasn’t ever one for bugs. They’re gross and terrifying.

Birds, however, he does like. 

He keeps the two sci-fi novels and the bird book, tossing the bible and bug book back over. He pretends to flip through the bird book and admire the colored photos occupying the page, but his focus is mostly on the determination in Justin’s eyes. 

The more he stares, the more he realizes how clean he looks, which is weird. Ever since the walkers came and shit really went downhill, they were forced to bathe in the cold river and after a while, most of them said fuck it to being squeaky clean all the time. 

There is not a single speck of dirt on his sun-kissed face and the dark mess of curls covering his forehead and neck are shiny and fresh. He’s wearing new clothes, too, ones that he doesn’t recognize. 

It’s a good look for him. 

“So, why the sudden freakout?” Mitch tries to ask casually. “Ruby get a hold of you?”

Justing laughs, shaking his head. “Nah, not Ruby. Hey, uh-” he perks up, an almost timid look crossing over his features. “I got a question for you.”

“Shoot.”

“Okay,” Justin grins. “If you could make out with any of the girls here, who would you do?”

Mitch stiffens, nearly dropping the bird book.

“Uh, what?” 

“Any of the girls!” Justin says. “You can choose one to kiss and they have to kiss you back.”

“None of them,” he shrugs, answering honestly. 

“Dude, it’s the end of the fucking world. Now’s not the time to be picky.”

It’s not that he’s picky- well, maybe he is. Thinking about every girl that lives here at Ericson, not a single one jumps out to him as one he wants to kiss. 

“I’d rather fuck a walker.”

Laughter erupts from Justin, and through his chortle, he asks, “Mitch, dude, are you fucking serious? You’d rather fuck an actual dead, decaying walker than any of the girls?”

Yes, because he doesn’t want to kiss any of the girls. At all. 

“No, shithead, it’s gross.”

“Oh, but fucking a walker wouldn’t be?”

“No, that’d be gross, too.”

“C’mon, you can tell me,” Justin pries. “What about Brody? Or Erin, or Violet, or uh, Minnie?”

“Nope.”

“Dude.”

Shit, maybe he’s being too honest. 

That- fuck.

“Uhm, y’know what? Fine,” Mitch adds quickly, causing Justin to smirk. “Any girl?”

“Any girl.” 

The first name that comes to him is Minnie, but he can’t say that, so he says the second. 

“Brody.” 

Justin visibly relaxes, relieved by Mitch's answer. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, she’s hot.”

God fucking- he couldn’t have sounded any less enthusiastic. 

“Why are you even asking, anyway?” Mitch frowns, scratching nervously at his neck until a patch of redness blooms on the skin. 

Justin smiles excitedly, hopping up on the bed with him, far closer than Mitch would’ve liked. 

“What are you doing tonight?”

The question is simple but it still makes Mitch’s stomach churn in a bizarre way. 

“Uh, I don’t know. Nothing, I guess.”

“You don’t have any plans?”

Mitch’s pulse quickens. 

“Am I supposed to?” 

“No, I just- are you gonna be here?”

“Uh, yeah? Where else would I go to sleep?”

Justin considers this, stuttering out, “Right, no- yeah, right. That was a stupid question.” 

What the fuck is he saying? What is he asking? Why does he look so nervous? Why are Mitch’s palms beginning to sweat? 

“Do you think maybe you could... Uhm-”

Do you think I could maybe what?

“-go sleep somewhere else tonight?”

...What?

“What? Why?” 

“I need the room to myself tonight.”

“Why?” Mitch asks again. 

“I’m having company, okay? So, can you go sleep in Willy’s room tonight? I know he said he wanted to try being alone at night with his own room, which has been great for us not having to deal with him so much, but-”

“Wait, wait-” Mitch interrupts, having not really listened to Justin’s ramblings. “Who the fuck are you bringing here?”

A smile spreads across his full lips and in a sing-song voice, he answers, “Minnie.” 

Minnie? What the fuck- why the fuck is Minnie spending the night in their room? There’s no way in hell she agreed to something like that!

“Why?”

“I’m finally going for it, asshole! God, do I need to explain everything to you?” 

He’s going for it? A lump of panicked dread falls from his throat and soars down into his stomach. 

“I asked her to come here tonight to help me with a ‘secret project,’ right? So, when she gets here, the room’s gonna be super clean and I’m gonna light some candles and then- and then I’m gonna ask her to teach me to dance. Romantic, right?”

Mitch’s mouth goes dry.

"And we’ll be dancing and laughing and shit, and then I’ll go in for the kill and kiss her.”

“Kiss her?”

“Yeah, idiot, listen.” 

“You’re just gonna kiss her? Don’t you have to, like, ask?”

Justin snorts. “Dude, asking isn’t romantic.”

It’s not? 

Well, fuck, not that he knows anything about romance. It’s the one subject Mitch actively refuses to explore. 

Justin continues, “Then, after I give her the kiss of her life, I’ll ask her to be my girlfriend.”

He... he’s really thought this whole thing out. 

He’s had this infatuation with Minnie for weeks now, so he’s had plenty of time to think about. Justin makes it his number one priority to spend as much time with Minnie as he can, always shoving Sophie or Violet out of the way to hog all her attention, or ditching Mitch to do whatever she wanted him to, or constantly making fun of Louis so that Minnie would stop hanging around him. 

He actually went as far as to carve a bunch of nasty shit into Louis’ piano.

Yeah, because that’s the way to get someone’s attention and affection: be an asshole. Mitch may not know shit about this stuff, but somehow, he knows that’s not the right approach.

And Louis was so devastated about that, too...

"And for me to do all that,” Justin points at him, “you need to be gone tonight.” 

No.

No, no, no. 

No. 

It’s out before Mitch can even think, “Dumbass, she doesn’t even like you.” 

Fuck. 

Justin’s taken back by the harshness but returns it what a deep glare. 

“Fuck you, she does like me! She laughs at my jokes and she’s always touching my arm!”

That’s because Minnie’s a touchy person. She touches everyone. Mitch once had to snap at her for constantly trying to touch and fix his hair. 

“Uh-” Mitch panics. “Yeah, but everyone knows that she likes Louis.” 

It’s such a huge ass lie, holy shit, but it’s the first one to come across his mind. 

“Oh, fuck off,” Justin spits. “She does not!”

“Yes, she does, why do you think they’re always hanging out in the music room? Hell, they’re probably making out in there right now.” 

“Louis is the worst, though!”

“Apparently not since Minnie’s sucking face with him instead of you.” 

“Why are you being such an asshole?” Justin snaps, standing from the bed to glare down at him. “They aren’t together! We’d know if they were because Louis is an obnoxious idiot who can’t keep anything to himself.” 

“Y’know what? You’re right!” Mitch stands too, voice growing louder with every word, “we would know if they were together because Minnie’s also an attention whore and wouldn’t miss an opportunity-”

Justin shoves him, Mitch’s back hitting the top bunk of the bed, his head bouncing off the bar. Justin’s fists remain tangled in the collar, and he’s close, right up in Mitch’s face. 

"What’s your problem?” 

His problem? 

Fuck, he... he doesn’t even know! 

All he can focus on is how Justin’s nose is almost touching his. 

Mitch pushes him back hard enough for him to trip over a book and crash against the ground. 

“Ow! Fuck!” 

Mitch still, staring down at the wincing boy with wide eyes where he’s met with a glare. 

They don’t say anything, so Mitch bends down to grab the bird book and his bag. Without a word, Mitch quickly shoves some clothes into it and leaves, clutching the book against his chest, the pounding of his heart hot, rapid and deafening.  

Some of the others are walking around, and when he passes by the music room, he can hear Minnie singing and Louis’ playing. Someone- Violet, he thinks- makes a comment about the song, but Mitch doesn’t pay much attention. He considers joining them and warning Minnie about what she’s walking into tonight, but doesn’t. 

Let Justin make a fucking fool of himself. 

Fuck him, anyway. 

He’s...

Mitch turns down the hall right outside the music room and drops his bag. 

With his trusty pocket knife in hand, Mitch begins to carve.

JUSTIN FUCKED A WALKER

 He spends the rest of the afternoon making sure that no matter what hallway you’re in, this information is known. 

[early-sxnsets]

Scales, Fins, and other Fishy Daydreams

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43151156

Chapter 3/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 1553

Chapter Summary: Baz takes Simon's shitpost text a step further, and the outcome ends up spreading a few rumors.

SIMON

bi-sammy: sammy would still fuck huxley if he looked like the fish from shape of water

I grin smugly at my screen, sitting in a dark room with nothing shining but my mobile. The shutters stay shut, and the light from the bottom of the doorway barely filters into the room. It’s just me, this scratchy blanket, and Baz, somewhere else in England on another screen. I absolutely adore that.

gaystrell: why would you say something so controversial yet so brave.jpg

Sometimes, I catch myself smiling. Other times, I elect to ignore how real it feels. It’s weird, given that it feels like I’m just chatting with someone who I see everyday. The casualness of this reminds me of texting Penny in the afternoon on a Thursday.

Except, given the current time, it could be interpreted as more intimate than that of a friend’s text.

8am on a Saturday is usually a time reserved for comfort. For staying warm with someone you care about. Instead, I’m just messaging Baz.

bi-sammy: because im right

bi-sammy: hear me out here ive got a brilliant idea

gaystrell: whoever taught you the definition of a brilliant idea was clearly misleading you

bi-sammy: dont be an arse until youve heard it

bi-sammy: wanker

gaystrell: you’re truly proving your point

bi-sammy: ANYWAY

bi-sammy: shape of water au

bi-sammy: thats all

gaystrell: i’m appalled.

gaystrell: hold on.

I don’t think much of it. Occasionally, he disappears for an hour to two. I don’t bother asking, assuming it’s none of my business, but I do tend to worry a bit. I hope he’s alright.

After clicking off my phone, my head settles against my pillow as my eyes fall shut.

There’s something about this. There’s something about him. It’s a bit hard to pinpoint what it is, but the overwhelming feeling of comfort I have in the notifications I get from him just answering my bullshit is incredibly welcomed. He’s semisweet. I don’t know why I didn’t see it earlier, but he’s a fantastically bitter person.

My head slowly turns over, eyes opening and straining in the darkness.

I hate my empty room.

I hate the absence of comfort--I hate the plainness of these walls.

I want to say I hate my foster dad, but I also feel like I’m not allowed to say that. Not because the system will take me again and throw me back (even though I could have left a year back, if I was still in it). Instead, I feel like I shouldn’t hate him. Theoretically, I should be thankful for what I have. I’m not in a boy’s home, and I haven’t been since I was 11, but the remnants remain. The fights don’t go away, and neither do the weeks of starvation.

Still, I sort of despise living here under Davy.

That’s what he makes me call him. His name. His nickname. Not dad; of course not dad. He’s had me in his care for roughly six years, but he’s still Davy to me.

Shitty fucking Davy, with his strict curfews and practically using me as a housemaid because he’s too cheap to care for himself.

Shitty fucking Davy, not letting me add anything to my room because the day I turn 18, I’m out of here until his next kid (and cheque, apparently) come in. Told me I’d wreck the walls and ruin his furniture if I did put anything on it, too.

So that’s what I’ve got. Blank walls, blank furniture, blank everything. It’s like a jail cell for a bedroom, and everything I’ve got to show for myself is in a backpack and two dresser drawers/

But, at least, I own my mobile.

Every summer job, mixed with odds and ends shit and whatever I can do for my bill. It’s all mine, and Davy can’t fucking touch it.

Maybe that’s why, when I feel it buzz against my chest, it makes me feel more alive. It’s a reminder of all that work just to be able to talk to someone freely.

Arguably, the best feeling in the goddamn world.

I grab it and flip it over. It’s just an email about uni.

Fuck.

I end up scrolling through tumblr for a little while, doing nothing but liking and reblogging a thing here or there. It takes a little while before a little drop down falls from the top of my screen.

gaystrell: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1r7Wkwj7MSFk0--DgquHGhYVBbqneEYq0J01t0uMRmxA/edit?usp=sharing

gaystrell: feel the need to apologize before you click the link, but then again, you asked for this hell

When I click on it, it pulls up a doc titled just “crackfic”, and I’m floored with the first sentence alone.

“Fuck my fish ass harder, daddy.”

My hand flies up, covering my mouth as I practically wheeze as quietly as possible. A few paragraphs in and I’m nearly crying into my palm, muffling my laughter as I read through pages upon pages of the most ridiculous fic I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.

I check the word count out of pure curiosity, and it somehow makes me laugh harder.

bi-sammy: holy fucking shit

bi-sammy: i swear to god if you don’t post that i will

gaystrell: already in the process of making the archive post

gaystrell: i seriously believe you underestimate my sincere ability to be the biggest dick on the street

bi-sammy: i dont know whether or not u meant that as ur literal dick or the big dick energy in making that a post but id probably agree with you in both

bi-sammy: tag me in the post pls i want to be the first to reblog it

gaystrell: you’re a ridiculous, sad, little man

gaystrell: of course i’ll tag you

Within minutes, it’s uploaded with the absolute worst slew of Archive tags attached to it, and as soon as he tags me in his post, I tap the notification.

Scales, Fins, and other Fishy Daydreams

Word Count: 3,192

Summary: Fish!Huxley and Sam get it on Shape of Water style

@bi-sammy this is your fault (you're welcome)

I immediately slam like and pull up reblog, rapidly typing out my response before posting.

absolute madman. cant believe youve done this. i trust you with my entire life.

As usual, he's quick to reblog back.

anything for the absolute pain in my life x

Smiling shamelessly, I ride on the moment's high as our conversation stays out in the world. I quite enjoy this version of his softness. The public, taunting replies to mine. In all this time of following him, I can't really recall him ever being this friendly with anyone but me.

Makes me feel special. Maybe too much so.

BAZ

The jarring shock of the seemingly endless notifications rattles me momentarily speechless.

It isn't even 15 minutes after I'd replied to Snow and there's already a few people reblogging it with comments about him and I. A quick “i ship y'all’ to “powermove of the century”. Each make me flush deeper as the replies flood in.

If I were to be practical, I'm aware that I shouldn't be so flustered over the concept of us being a couple. It's most likely my overactive, sad, lonely imagination, but the idea of being loved just makes me blush. Especially since it's someone who doesn't seem to absolutely loathe me.

gaystrell: are you reading these?

bi-sammy: the what?

bi-sammy: i have. nothing to read. i cant read.

gaystrell: use your two remaining brain cells look at the notes for the crackfic

bi-sammy: holy shit

bi-sammy: im cackling

A notification pops up, making me snort this time. I pull up the post and send it off to him without a second thought.

gaystrell: sent a post

gaystrell: “sounds like something huxley would do for sam”

bi-sammy: stop im gonna piss myself shits too fucking funny

I pull it back up, scrolling down to reblog and adding a quick reply that, in all honesty, I should have thought out more. Secretly, part of me is glad that I sent it.

huxley wishes he was this smooth ;)

Within seconds, replies flood in from everywhere. From jokes about Snow and I possibly dating to the concept of Huxley writing (purposefully) shitty homoerotica about himself as a fishman. I quite like the conversation about the latter, while the former makes my chest knot in ways inexplicable.

Going through the notes makes me smile, even if it's mildly embarrassing. The amount of times I've seen the eyes emoji used is definitely excessive, but still somewhat welcomed.

Even my archive has a few comments already, although more based around the fic itself. More ironically, though, is the one person who probably took it seriously and just commented, “Nice fic!” I love the abundance of shameless appreciation for obscure fanfiction in the depths of this community.

Snow's messages roll down my mobile screen as I'm checking the comments, continuously replacing the previous message for the top slot.

bi-sammy: mate

bi-sammy: i love you

bi-sammy: also every time you reblog something of mine i get like 5 followers

bi-sammy: if you mention me i get 10

bi-sammy: youre???????????? a god????????

bi-sammy: can i marry you????????????

I slowly close my laptop, eyes on my phone with an absolutely gleeful grin.

gaystrell: when and where?

[creative-nightmares-37]

How to become punk

This is  4000+ words so it's a very long shot, and i made this a longgggg time ago but I hope you like it, at the bottom ill post his transformation!

"I don't understand it!" I sighed to myself angrily as I watched Patton blush.

     What's so great about Virgil?! I mean I could be like that!

     "Anyways Patton, I gotta go." Virgil says giving him a two fingered salute as he turned his back and walked away.

     "Oh my goodness Logan did you see him?!" Patton exclaimed. "I can see it now, we're going to own four dogs, and our house it gonna be mag-" He starts as I interrupt him.

     "I wouldn't look to far into the future Patton, your not even sure if you two at compatible ." I state feeling my heart break slightly.

     "Plus he's no good for you, he's got a bad reputation in the school, and previous schools."

     "Maybe that's why I like him..." Patton mutters to himself as he stares lovingly in the direction Virgil walked in.

      Patton, the school most innocent kid, has fallen for the 2nd most bad boy in ringwell high.

     And his best friend has to watch.

-

     "His hair is soooo purple now, it's a great color on him!" Patton smiles growing red in the face.

     "You know if you like him so much why don't you talk to him." I suggest putting on a fake smile.

      "But I couldn't!" Patton starts.

      "Yes you can, you've been swooning over him for the past two months." I say rolling my eyes.

     "Will you come with me then? I need a wingman." He pleas

     "If it will make you happy." I say knowing he doesn't know the double meaning to that statement.

     "Awe thank you Lo!!" He says as I lead the way to Virgil.

     "Hey teach, hey pat." Virgil states leaning back against the wall.

     "Hey Virgil!" Patton smiles, as they quickly start to talk.

      Soon I see a tall figure, covered with tattoos, hair in a Fo-hawk. Wearing a jean jacket with the arms ripped off combat boots and ripped jeans. Devan, the reason why Virgil is the 2nd biggest bad boy of the school.

     "Hey Virgil." He says voice deep. "who's this?" He asks raising a brow at Patton, and I can see his heart skip a beat,

     "I'm p-Patton." He states flustered

     "And I'm Logan." I state as Devan nods his head.

     "Well do you want to ditch next period. Virgil?" He asks as Virgil nods.

     "Sure thing Dee."

     "I'm going to get a new tattoo, I'm thinking snake scales right here." I says turning his head and pointing at his neck.

     "That's sweet! I think imma get a thunderstorm, or something" Virgil states as he licks his snake bites on his lips.

     "Well I'll see you two around." Devan says giving a wink to Patton and I can see his breathing quicken.

     "Sure thing." He blushes as the other two walk away.

     "He was sooooo hot! I would let him fu-"

     "Don't finish that sentence" I sigh trying not to sound sad as I fix my glasses.

     So Patton as a thing for bad boys huh, well I guess that is do able.

     "He Logan, I'm gonna be gone next week, my cousin is getting married!" Patton smiles as my heart explodes.

     "That's fine, I'll pick you up when your back." I state as he nods happily.

-

(Next week)

     "Virgil I need your help." I state as he glances up at me.

     "With????"

     "I need to be more like you, Patton has a thing for bad boys and-" I start but get interrupted

     "You have a thing for him, and trust me I can tell he likes bad boys." He laughs "but don't worry I got you covered." He states as relief washes over me.

     "But under one condition." Virgil states as my stomach sinks. "You need to help me with Mr. popular over there He states pointing over at Roman Prince.

     "Why that moron?" I think out loud as Virgil blushes.

     "I don't know, maybe it's because he's a moron, but you get him to at least befriend me, and I'll give you a free ride into Patton's heart". He states before mumbling "since h- a- does"

     "What did you say? Ya know nevermind, you have a deal." I say as Patton's smile flashes through my mind. "I bet I could do it within 30 minuets." I state confidently as Virgil stares at me strangely

     "If you can I'll even teach you how to build and ride a motorcycle." He laughs not believing I'm my capability's and Romans arrogance with his overwhelming lack of common sense.

     Oddly enough I'm pretty good friend with Roman, although it's safe to say I'm probably the Biggest nobody in the school, and he's the one who's got everyone around his finger, we make a pretty good team.

     I make my way over, as a smile grows on my face "oh Mr. Popular." I say in a goofy voice as he turns around with a smirk.

     "Oh great it's Einstein himself." He says putting on a face of disgust and I laugh. "What's up lo?" He asks.

     "Can I talk to you for a bit?" I ask as he nods his head and waved goodbye to his friends.

     "You good?" He asks In a soft voice as I nod.

     "I just got a few questions for ya that's all." I shrug "first what's your favorite color

     "Purple? Why?"

     "Do you like guys?" I ask

     "Wow big jump okay..."

"Oh shut it, i think i know the answer." I state slapping his arm as he chuckled under his breath.

"and uhh yeah I've been openly bi for a few months, I can't believe I didn't tell you." He laughs awkwardly.

     "What do you think of Virgil August?" I ask

     "I've never talked to him, he seems kinda Unapproachable." Thats what he says about everyone he likes, he uses it as an excuse, even tho he knows he cab talk to anyone.

     "Hmm, what about look wise." I ask knowing he won't catch on.

     He turns around full 180° and checks Virgil out in the least subtle way possible. "He's a cutie, I guess. But I adore his piercings."

     "Wanna meet him?" I say alittle surprise on how he hasn't even guessed why I'm asking all of theses questions revolving around the angsty bad boy.

     "Alright." He shrugs as we make our way over to the dark dressed teen.

     "Virgil this is Roman, Roman, Virgil." I state as he looks at me surprised.

     "Hey, your the receiver on the football team right?" Virgil asks as he doesn't know.

     "And your the kid who plays the guitar before and after school." Roman says giving his, what the girls call it 'heart stealing smile' and I can tell it worked on Mr. bad boy over here.

     "Uhh yeah." Virgil blushes. "I didn't think anyone heard that." He states bringing his hand to his neck and rubbing it nervously.

     "Your really good, Is love to hear you play sometime." Roman claims casually as Virgil shrugs

     "Roman! Come here!" I hear josh call as Roman holds up a finger telling him to wait.

     "Here." Roman says pulling a sharpie out of his letterman's jacket as he grabs Virgil's hand and taking off the lid.

     "Give me a call, maybe we could see a movie sometime." He smiles as he finishes writing his number and just as he leaves he turns around waves us goodbye and gives Virgil a wink.

     "Holy shit you did it. Holy fuck I have his number, holy damn he wants to take me to a movie." Virgil fangirls

     "Holy hell, can you say holy one more time?" I laugh as Virgil rolled his eyes.

     "Well, lets make Patton fall for you harder than I can fall down the highschool stairs."

I laugh as I remember Virgil staring at Mr. Royal pain, not paying attention to the snow covering the steps, as be sails down the stairs spraining his wrist as be almost manages to do a hand stand only to flip over the rail to the other half of the stairs. And somehow I was the only one who saw it.

-

"Alright Logan, now that you've built one, now you need to learn how to ride one." Virgil sighs as I look at my hands covered in oil and other substances.

     "Can I you know, wash up first?" I ask wiping my hair out of my face.

     " No you gotta learn now dammit." He states with a smile.

     "Uh alright." I state akwardly. "Ohhh you were using sarcasm weren't you?" I say as it clicks.

     "Yes, yes I was." He says shaking his head, but once you've learned how to ride, we will do something about this." I states pointing me up and down.

     "I'm thinking electric blue." He mumbles outloud.

     "You know if it makes patton, share similar, feelings I'll do it." I sigh

      "You do know you shouldn't have to change for him, he should like you for you." Virgil states uneasy.

     "That's the thing, no one is going to want to date a super computer with no style." I state.

     "Well, I'll do this for you, but I'm not going to have you do the permanent stuff, just in case you ever want to go back." He states as we make our way inside to get washed up.

     After an hour of relaxing I hear Virgil call my name.

      "Let's teach this nerd how to ride!" He laughs as I walk into the living room rolling my eyes, knowing full well he's just teasing.

     I follow him out side to see the motorcycle I built, and his.

     "So what have you driven?" He asks

     "A car and a Moped" I shrugged as he lets out a snicker

     "So you've driven a gay motorcycle?" He laughs." As I nod laughing with him. "Don't worry I've driven one too, but atleast you should be decent at riding this bad boy."

     "If you say so." I claim as I climb onto my bike."

     "So when riding your right hand is responsible for two crucial functions, acceleration and braking." He begins to explain "remember that a little twist on the throttle goes along way, you'll find that out when you find your ass on the pavement."

      "You have to be smooth when pressing the brakes, if not you can and will skid and cause an accident if you push the brake to quickly." He states moving over to the other side of the bike "but if you are going to use your rear break right here, you are going to have to multitask and use your foot, this is the most effective way of stopping." He explains while I make a mental note to use that one more often.

     "The clutch on the motorcycle is very similar to a car." He starts pointing at it. "You must brake slightly when switching gears, so your bike won't rattle. But finding neutralwitg your left foot will get some getting used to, make it a habit to clutch every time you switch." He stated as he grabs the clutch and puts it in neutral.

     "That about it, now go to first gear and ride."He states walking over to his bike.

     I take a deep breath in as I slowly let go of the break, hold down the clutch as I make it into first gear, and I start off down the dirt road.

     Slowly it becomes more natural, me using my left foot gets easier and I'm learning how to use the brakes without almost flipping the bike. After a few hours of riding around me and Virgil decide to call it a night.

     "You did good," he stays with surprise In his voice "better than my first go."

     "Thanks!" I smile at him as I walk inside and flop on the couch.

     "I say when we wake up in the morning, we go get some bleach and box dye, and mix up your wardrobe alright." He says throwing me a few blankets and pillows.

     "Thanks Virgil, really."

     "Anytime, plus you got me a date with Mr. Roman Prince so I might as well." He laughs slightly, " if ya need anything holler, I'm probably gonna be awake till, three."

     "Alright But you should sleep more, really." I state

     "Oh god your beginning to sound like my mother." He scoffs lightheartedly as he walks into his room.

     I pull out my phone to see a text from Patton,

Hey lo, my flight will be here at 10:30am on Thursday, I know your going to be at school. But I'm hoping you can still pick me up

Yeah that should be fine, and you know how you were telling I should change up my style?

Yeah! Omg did you do it,? What are you going for?! I think you would look fantastic with a piercing or two!! Or like a jean jacket!!

You'll see, let's just say I've picked up a few tips from our neighborhood edge lord.

Omg I'm so exited, I can already imagine what your going to look like!!

Yeah anyways I'm gonna head to bed I'll see you in a few days, goodnight Patton.

Goodnight lo, I have something ive wanted to tell you, but since your suprising me, I can wait.❤️

Strange he normally doesn't send hearts to me. I think as I feel my heat rate increasing. he's probably is just excited to see me all 'punked up' I think to myself as I plug in my phone and allow myself to fall into a peaceful sleep

-

     I wake up at a semi reasonable time, later than I normally sleep.

      I sit up and rub the sleep out of my eyes before realizing that I slept in my clothes from before.

     I stand up, and make my way into the kitchen to see a note.

I'm guessing you wake up early so if you so eat what ever, I'll be up around one, if you want you can continue practicing riding

-V

10 isn't early. I think to myself shrugging as I open the fridge and decide to make myself some egg toast. I'll make Virgil some before he wakes up.

     After about 15 minutes it's done yet food isn't really on my mind. All I can think about is patton. His smile, his laugh, his very sexual innuendos that are actually funny, how he's been by my side since day one. I love it how his curly hair springs back up when he pulls on them. The freckles that line his glasses, his dimples. He bright emerald eyes. He, in my eyes is the definition of perfect. But I'm worried he won't like me, even after I change for him, after all I'm just... me

     My hair is a taupe brown, messily combed back, so strands naturally fall in my face. Brown eyes, they sometimes look gold but they aren't anything impressive. I'm tall, lanky, boring. My smile doesn't light up a room. My laugh isn't the best. Patton is everything I'm not, so why am I trying so hard to 'win him over?'

     I sigh as I push my plate to the side, I know I'm in too deep, plus Patton already knows that my look is going to change so I might as well.

     I sit in the same spot at the breakfast bar, pondering, the 'What ifs' and all the possible endings if we got together, having some be a magical fantasy others, heart breaking friendship ruining endings . Apparently I was sitting here for a long time since Virgil stumbled into the room pulling out the milk from the fridge.

     "Logan I can feel your doubt in my sleep, what's up?" He asks with purple hair flying every which way.

      "I don't know, I feel like even after I change, Patton's still not gonna like me." I explain as Virgil laughs slightly

     "Are you Fucking me right now? Patton only ever talks about you!" He exclaims. "He May not know it but I can see that he is head over heals, believe it or not Patton is always happier when your around. He blushed when he retells the adventures you've been on, like I said were not doing anything to permanent, just making you pop, so everything clicks for him." Virgil says trying to lighten my mood.

     "But how do you know, all we know is he loves me platonically, Patton likes bad boys, and guess what I'm not." I huff as Virgil rolls his eyes as the doorbell rings.

      " Uhh I'll be right back, but this conversation is not over." Virgil states as he stands up and swings open the door to see Roman standing confidently, hair styled to his perfection, while Virgil is standing embarrassed, hair like a train wreck, purple pajama bottoms with storm clouds, and shirt less.

     "Uhh her Roman!" I hear Virgil squeak out "I didn't know you were coming."

     "Well I wanted to surprise you!" Roman laughs as Virgil pats down his bed head. "Trust me you look great." Roman complements as Virgil opens the door letting the taller In

     "Hey lo! What's up?" Roman asks as he slides into the chair next to mine.

     "The ceiling." I shrug. As he give me a small smile and shakes his head.

      "You ready for your hair transformation?" He asks giving me wiggly eyebrows, like the goofball he is.

     "Actually, I am."

     "Great! Cause I already got the dye!" Virgil says shaking two boxes, one is bleach the other a bright blue dye box.

     "I thought we were getting those today?" I ask aloud

      "Yeah but i was bored last night, sooo." He laughs while he stands on the other side of the breakfast bar.

     "When did you go out?" Roman asks.

     "4:30 I think maybe 5ish" He states already mixing the bleach.

     "Good god! No wonder why you sleep in so late." I claim surprised.

     "Yeah, yeah, I've heard it allllll before. Now come over hear and imma make your hair look hotter the Dee's. I glance over at Roman and I see a look of jealousy that's covered with a smile.

-

     "Is it supposed to feel it itchy?" I yell going into the shower for the second time.

     "Yes!" I hear the two yell

     "Just like last time!" Roman adds as I watch the blue run down the white tile

     "It looks like I killed a smurf!" I yell and I hear laughing.

      After the color fades in the water I hop out and get dressed.

     "Holy fuck" roman states with a giddy smile.

     "Your hair took the dye so well!" Virgil complements, well I think it's a complement. "Now let me style it!" Virgil says as I sit in the familiar chair, that I've been sitting in for 2 and a half hours.

     After fifteen minutes I hear the blow dryer get turned off and the combing stops.

     "Well go see your luxurious hair." Virgil's says pointing at a mirror and I'm met with the brightest blue hair I've ever seen.

     "Wow..." I say running my hands through my fingers speechless.

     "Now how do you feel about contacts?" I hear Roman ask.

      "I have some, but I normally don't use em." I explain as Roman pulls some out of his letterman jacket.

     "I stole theses from your house last night." He shrugs handing them to me and I take them rolling my eyes.

"You mean my landlord let you in?" I state raising an eyebrow as Roman nods and laughs with a cheesy smile.

     I get up close and personal to the mirror in front of me, and put them in with ease, while I can feel Virgil cringing.

     I blink a few times as it shifts into place. I look over at the two smiling like idiots.

     "Hey Virgil?" I start. "Do you know how to do any piercings?" I ask as he cocks a brow, smiles.

     "Yeah, I can do snake bites, ear piercings, tongue and eyebrows." He states,

     "I want all, except the tongue one." I state. If I'm being completely honest I've always wanted piercings but I've never had the means or courage to get them.

     "You sure? I mean they are a pain to clean." He states making sure this is what I really want.

     "Yeah." I state confidently as he leaves, and returns with a box."

     "I'm starting with your ears." He starts. "They are the easiest to do." He claims as he pulls out a lighter and a needle.

      "Roman go into the kitchen and find me a potato." He states as Roman stands up and leaves and Virgil starts lighting the needle.

     "Roman what's taking you so long?!" Virgil yells? After at least five minutes of waiting.

     "I'm coming! Calm you horses." He Roman sighs dramatically as he tosses Virgil the potato. And before I know it my ears and my lip is pierced twice.

     "Your right! This didn't hurt at all!" I say surprised as Virgil nods concentrating intensely as I feel his hands pinch my left eyebrow.

     " be still." He grunts as he gets a bigger needle with a piercing connected to the end."

     I feel the needle go in and this time it's painful.

     "Fuck." I mutter, as Virgil freezes in fear

     "Your lucky." Virgil states as he starts to clean up his gear.

     "Why?"

     "I normally don't do eyebrow piercings because there's a vein near there where it could permanently paralyze you, unless your lucky." He says

     "And your only now telling him?!" Romans gasps and I nod along.

     "Trust me, I know my Shit, I'm trying to be a professional."

     "But your not." I state as he gives me a playful glare.

     "Alright nerd, well I guess i cant call you that anymore, anyways lets go shopping."

     "I love shopping!" Roman smiles happily as we all head out the door

-

We come back with bags upon bags of  grungy/ punk outfits that I personally like, and will make me look 'cooler'

     "Well that's been enough shopping for me, my children and my grandchildren." Virgil says flopping on the couch.

     "Are you serious?" Roman gasps. "It was only 2 and a half hours!" He says

     "Well how long do you normally shop, Mr. Flamboyant over there?" He asks lifting his head from the cushion, just to let it fall back down.

     "I normally go out, and wander around all day, then go home with all my Goods." He states holding his few bags.

     "I'm so happy I'm not you" Virgil stare muffled as I get a call by the one and only Patton.

      "Hey Patton? What's up?" I ask and I hear a weak voice respond

     "Um, are you alone right now?"

     "Uhh." I state walking into Virgil room and locking it behind me. "I am now, what's wrong."

     "So uh, my cousin slipped up that I liked guys at her wedding, and my parents didn't take it well." He states voice cracking.

     "I'm so sorry Patton." I sympathize as my heart breaks for him.

      "It's alright." He sniffs. "But they made me come home early, and I know it's all of a sudden but I need a place to stay, and a ride, and I know that you just got your own place and I don't want to intrude but I-"

     "You can stay with me Patton. Where are you right now?" I say understandingly.

    "I'm out side the airport."

     I'll be right there, luckily for you, I just finished shopping so you can see my new style." I say trying to lighten the conversation.

     "I can't wait." He says and I can hear the soft smile on his face.

     "See I'm a few." I state.

     "Thank you so much Logan, really, and I've been thinking a lot, and I've decided that I got something important to tell you once your here."

     "I can't wait." I say just as he did to me as he hangs up and I open the door to clothes thrown at me."

     "Go to your lover!" Roman squeals as I stare at him and shut the door.

     "I get dressed in a long green shirt with a flower print on it, black skinny jeans and boots as quickly as possible, and I freeze at the door.

"Do you think i can drive all the way to the airport?!" I panic.

" Of course you can! Your a natural, just go on the back roads." He states worring a little since we didnt practice much.

     I soon arrive to the air port where I see Patton with a back pack and I pull up beside him.

     "Hey patton." I smile as I see his jaw drop slightly.

     "Holy fuck." He whispers but quickly turns pink.

     I open my arms as he clings on to me.

"What was the thing you were going to tell me?"

     "I Uhh... I've thought... um." He starts as he pulls away.

     "So, I was talking to Virgil and he made me realize that Ireallyreallylikeyou! Butnowyoulooksogreat! Andidontknowwhattodowithmyself!" He says quickly as my heart speeds up.

     And I do something the nerd I was would have never done. I grab his face and kiss him, and he quickly melts into the kiss. And we break apart smiling.

     "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that." I gasp as Patton blushes.

     "I liked your nerdy style, but I love this one." He states.

     "That's why I did it."

     I watch as his eyes grow wide as he runs his fingers through my hair. "Logan! You shouldn't have changed for me! I was going to ask you out anyway."

     "But I like the style too, so don't worry about that." I reassure him and he stares skeptically.

     "If you say so." He states as I take off his back pack and put it beneath the seat the I get onto my bike.

     "You coming?" I ask as he nods happily and climbs on the back seat, his arms snaking around my waist and as I begin to ride I feel his head lean against my back and I can truly say that this is the happiest I've ever been.

@dailypattondoodle @ashstormfall @loki-god-of-soap