#I should write an essay on it
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Not me sobbing listening to Never Love An Anchor thinking about Aelwyn and Adaine
Like
It so them
It’s so Aelwyn to Adaine
#no joke I literally started crying#I can’t with these two omg#fantasy high sophomore year#fantasy high#dimension 20#adaine abernant#aelwyn abernant#fhsy#the crane wives#I could write a whole goddamn essay on it#I should write an essay on it
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a lot of people agree "don't automatically trust a man who says all his exes are crazy" but there is another red flag I was reminded of today:
SOOOOO many abusive men (and women!) falsely accuse their partner of cheating and I wish more people knew this. I remember watching a video on a man who killed his gf and all the comments were saying she cheated--not that it excuses the murder--but it turns out he fucking lied about that anyway. start thinking critically instead of not believing victims because you projected your own relationship issues on what could be a complete lie. oh, and people who make false accusations of cheating are also often the one cheating, lmao
#I could also write an essay on misogynists hating cheating not because of the betrayal of love and trust#but because they feel emasculated by it#this is also why the 'men should be allowed to cheat' narrative comes from#*where it comes from
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I love how unsanitized The Terror feels. Like there’s grime everywhere. You can tell those men smell bad. When they do surgery you can hear the bone being cut, when they get sick they look genuinely ill. The main character’s actor even has pockmarks, he LOOKS like he could be from the 1800s! And idk, I think it’s cool that we’re so aware of the characters’ carnal desires. They’re hungry, thirsty, freezing, etc, and it is so obvious that they have a body with needs!!
I think this also accounts for how horny the show feels, even though everyone is bundled up 90% of the time and there are no real romantic subplots. Besides the fact that it’s a very carnal show, it just has the intimacy and grime of true horniness. Is this thing on
#rambling#virtually none of my mutuals/followers like The Terror… y’all please give it a shot…..#it’s SO MUCH like jsamn. like surprisingly similar#speaking of fantasy novels#I should write a little essay about how many Great Stories have a sense of physical realism to them!#like think about Lord of the Rings#in those books it takes them ages to get anywhere. they spend a lot of time talking about their water bottles and food supplies#and I’m thinking of that one bit where they spend the whole chapter trying to figure out how to get down a small cliff#you FEEL like you’re hiking with them#same sorta deal with the terror#the terror#the terror amc#I’m talking about horniness very confidently for someone who is ace lol
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#kingdom hearts dream drop distance#khddd#sora#riku#nightmare's end#mirage split#my gif#i was going to write up a whole thing in the tags about my thoughts on this keyblade#but i just know it'll be an incoherent essay because i can't properly articulate my thoughts#the x-blade must be forged through a clash of light and darkness#but i find it so highly significant that sora and riku can create their own keyblade which is so unheard of#this keyblade isn't created with a clash but rather through harmony and balance#not with conflict but with understanding and connection and love#and i always felt as though that's how the x-blade SHOULD be forged. that master xehanort went about it all wrong#because balance and connections are such important themes in these games#it has two handles and looks so regal when combined. all of the shapes feel reminiscent of the x-blade too#it shines so brilliantly with both sora and riku's symbols. the heart and crown which is the iconic logo for the entire series#also the way stained glass is always used to represent hearts. it's so significant!#and yeah the paupu fruit keychain is its own thing to unpack#okay so i ended up writing something anyway but there's still so much more#i just really hope we get to see more of this in future games because it would be shocking if it was nothing more than a cool combo attack
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Something something Clone Force 99 breaking binders in every season finale
#idk man i just thought of it and it felt really significant thematically#maybe i’ll write an essay#or maybe someone smarter than me should do it lol#the bad batch#star wars#tbb season 1#tbb season 2#tbb season 3#tbb finale#clone force 99#tbb hunter#tbb wrecker#tbb crosshair#tbb omega#something something it’s those four specifically#yes yes i know the first one is from the second to last episode in s1 but it was a two part finale. bite me lol#jeez i was fighting for my life in that gif search on and off for DAYS#DAYS I TELL YOU#i should really just learn to do this myself#tag ramble#has anyone pointed this out before???#parallels
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found an old ekurei comic rotting in my files, decided to finish it. upon my rewatch of mp100 i kept noticing how many times dimple was referred to as a pet- but he's not ! ! ! he's a friend :)
#not too happy w the writing but whatevs#sorry matsuo likers if hes ooc i used him as plot device#ekurei#mp100#mob psycho 100#reigen arataka#dimple mp100#comic#op art#ok continuing my thoughts here bc i dont want a whole essay up there#ik reigen calls him a pet as well but its more joking imo and also#this comic is after s3 when they r sort of friends#in my ekurei timeline tho they aint fusing yet. just pals#maybe have fused a few times but nothin srs yet#for those who dont follow me that will not make any sense lol#but even mob calls him a pet sometimes! or dehumanizes him. like. mob. you are the ghost seer. you should know better#now i could be misremembering that but still#everybody treats him like a mosquito or something which is funny but hes a person#he just looks different :(#long post
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It makes me actually quite sad to see people make arcane only about Victor and Jayce. In a show like this ESPECIALLY dominated by women. Where the story is mainly about two sisters, about two women that love each other that are from two completely opposite sides (and might I remind you are actually canon) but SOMEHOW men are still the most important.
Don’t get me wrong I deeply love all of these characters. The guys included but please for the love of god stop erasing the ones keeping this whole show together.
#i could write essays about this#also please this is not ditected at anyone in particular#just fandom in general#also people trying to cancel caitlyn#YOU DID NOT WATCH THE SHOW#its all about role reversals#this is necessary#THEY NEED TO SEE EACH OTHERS SIDES for them to understand each other#fandom is all about fun and it SHOULD BE fun#but god damn why is it even in a show like this that the women get put in the back of everyones minds#arcane spoilers#arcane
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it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?
first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.
one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i��ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.
this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.
oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.
basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.
but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!
at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.
just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.
#when i say i love helping people beat their fears about t this is what i mean. i will simply write a whole essay about it#some people might think it’s silly to answer a question like this so extensively#but i don’t think it is! i feel like this is a really common fear but also one i don’t see talked about much#maybe because it’s so common among cis guys that people don’t see it as a question to ask in trans spaces? idk#but i think we should talk about it more. especially when transphobes use it as a way to talk shit about t#ask answered#testosterone#hrt#ftm hrt#hair loss#trans men#transmascs
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"The Vampire Chronicles characters are exercises in the cycle of trauma and abuse and how they are capable of complex emotions and receiving and giving love and empathy alongside all the horrible shit they do to one another" and "Anne Rice herself was a bigot and had some shitty personal beliefs and just because the genre is Gothic Horror doesn't mean you ignore the way those ideas bleed into the writing. Not all commentary is good commentary" are two sentiments that can and SHOULD co-exist, what the fuck are we doing.
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#tvc#the vampire chronicles#char.txt#I was thinking abt this earlier but decided to not waste my breath writing an essay abt it under someone elses post#+ i am at all times failing to protect my own peace but it does genuinely drive me fucking mad the way people wave off critique#because ''its supposed to be uncomfortable'' like i get that but there has to be a middle ground#between ''its all problematic garbage'' and ''genre absolves us from having intelligent thoughts about the work'' can anyone fucking hear m#At the end of the day AR was a rich white woman in america who had some Choice Takes and maybe we should remember that
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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Procrastination doodles of sabo for the king sabo au :)
#one piece#sabo#king sabo au#I wonder sometimes if I keep thinking about this au because i like putting my blorbo through crushing existential nightmares#something something. it must feel so wrong to him. to be born like this and know that he’s not suppose to be there#but not having the memories of times in the wild with his brothers to contextualize why he feels wrong or where he’s supposed to be instead#directionless. knowing that he has to exist for some reason but not the reason that everyone around him tells him he should exist for#and continuing to try to bridge the cognitive dissonance through fallacy after fallacy until he is in too deep to escape#anyways. thinking about Him#Him is the academia mentality of ‘just keep going and you’ll eventually reach the light at the end of the tunnel’#‘because you’ve tried so hard to get here and surely you must belong here because you’re so academically highly-achieving’#does that make sense? maybe the parallel is a bit of a reach. I could write an essay about it tbh#I love this au lmao it’s both a lot of projecting and a great chance to be like ‘god I can make him so much worse’
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New silly headcanon because my main source of enjoyment from star wars is making myself sad thinking about that sad old man.
When Obi-Wan returns to Padmé's ship after cutting Anakin down, Threepio has already brought Padmé inside. Being the fussy neat freak he is, he has also brought Obi-Wan's and Anakin's robes inside the ship: they are nowhere to be found on the floor.
And Obi-Wan, being the sad, broken man he is, held on to Anakin's robe for the next 20 years. This is why he has Anakin's gameboy advanced! Because it was in Anakin's robe!
But this is not all! Because, this, THIS:
is in no way THIS:
BUT THIS:
And Force do I wish I could see Vader's face HERE:
"Is that MY FUCKING ROBE????? Obi-Wan, what the hell-"
So yes, Obi-Wan Kenobi died in Anakin Skywalker's robes, and you will pry this from my cold dead hands
#yes i should be working and instead i'm writing a short essay with iconographic sources on obi-wan kenobi's robe#ah these two#obi-wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#the team#complementary halves of one single idiot
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Sometimes I feel normal and then I remember that Peeta is canonically the only person Katniss found truly attractive. And she married him.
#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#they invented soulmatery#and also our girl is definitely demisexual argue with the wall#i could write a whole essay on how her attraction is informed by trauma but perhaps i should just write a fic instead#also. no. being traumatized doesn't make her any less ace-spec thank you <3
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personally i think the trope of "said something i wasn't supposed to while high on pain meds at the hospital" only works if it's smth actually incomprehensible. down with this trope. that and the whole "speaking out loud but the narrator doesn't know they are" trope. you should legally have to tag that i think. i know this usually happens for characters that would never admit something otherwise but actually there are a billion reasons someone would admit something they wouldn't otherwise. for example: someone else has a bomb-
#an essay i would never publish#/hj#a fic/book will be going so well and then they rush to this part#and it's like please give me a little more fun#also why is it that they always say this after waking up from surgery or smth like that and every single character is in their room#i'm fairly sure the nurse would be like “get the hell out of here so they can recover???”#like this is NOT a hate post if you like this then that's literally all the power to you#i just think you should tag it so i can't be surprised with second hand embarrassment#i also think it diminishes the impact of the reveal you're making because the character wasn't aware that they were giving this up#and if it's something personal to them then no one ever writes the part afterwards where they have to deal with the embarrassment#or the shame of it#or the fact that they had no control over that and now it's just open in the air for everyone to know#erinwantstowrite#writing
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honestly i hate how that “maybe the curtains are just blue” post has become shorthand for anti-intellectualism and shit bc as someone who has an utter passion for media analysis now, I WAS THAT PERSON IN HIGH SCHOOL ENGLISH CLASS.
english class never taught me how to analyze stories, it taught me how to remember what things the teacher said were “symbolism” and how to take quizzes where we had to match a quote to the character who said it. i didn’t give a shit about any of it, bc literally why should i. it was bullshit.
there’s this idea online that people are forgetting or rejecting what they learned in english class when they’re bad at media analysis, and maybe that’s a little bit true, but i think the much bigger problem is they never learned it in the first place. cinemasins & “maybe the curtains are just blue” aren’t convincing people to abandon an intellectualism they already had, they’re filling a void.
when all you learn in high school is to write on the test “blue = depression”, why is it surprising that so many people don’t give a shit about the curtains.
#media analysis#i literally didn’t care about criticism until i started watching video essays in 2017#and they taught me that u could actually do interesting things with analysis#and i cannot fucking stand this shit that pretends people should all know better#also it’s not new; people who act like media literacy is getting worse are so fucking funny like#have u met an adult. have u spoken to say. an adult family member#ever in ur life#ur just on the internet now. ur seeing a million bad takes that used to be reserved for in-person conversations#or maybe writing into a paper or magazine#get real#get fucking real#1k
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thanks to everyone who informed me that crybaby is dogshit this manga is awesome
#i should go back to writing my essay But i don't want to#i cant lie i thought this was edited . imagine my surprise
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