#but because they feel emasculated by it

[serial-unaliver]

a lot of people agree "don't automatically trust a man who says all his exes are crazy" but there is another red flag I was reminded of today:

SOOOOO many abusive men (and women!) falsely accuse their partner of cheating and I wish more people knew this. I remember watching a video on a man who killed his gf and all the comments were saying she cheated--not that it excuses the murder--but it turns out he fucking lied about that anyway. start thinking critically instead of not believing victims because you projected your own relationship issues on what could be a complete lie. oh, and people who make false accusations of cheating are also often the one cheating, lmao

[muffinlance]

I was rereading fellow prisoner li and I had an idea

Canon divergence au where instead of anyone doing feminism at the north pole aang accidentally panics and says trans rights

Aka instead of giving them any time to regroup and plan, aang's mouth moves faster than his brain and when they say "girls learn healing boys learn combat" aang says "what about me?" and leans hard into the "avatar incarnation of all those who came before, polygender because I contain multitudes" thing. you can't sexism me I have all the sexes, they're ghosts who give me god powers when I'm stressed out

I am now deeply in love with "AU where Aang goes 'Avatar State, yip yip!' and turns into Yangchen every time Pakku tries to drag him away from the healing huts".

[sharonisthebettercarter]

bruh, the faces billy made when him and homie met i--

casual surprise and then--what the fuck is that face???

MY DEAR BOI, WHY DO YOU LOOK SO THREATENED BY THE MERE PRESENCE OF THIS MAN YOU JUST MET HIM I--

i mean i get it, he's hot butt~

and now he's lulled you into a false sense of security with his charm and "good" nature... oh dear. billy bean, you sad, stupid, pathetic little kitten<3

[aliusfrater]

the thing about supernatural is that it's patriarchy porn

[pynkhues]

The problem is that Claudia isn't a mirror, she's a child, then a woman, and when she is reflecting them, I do think Louis tends to see Lestat in her and not himself.

(Same Anon you were answering) Yes! Complete agreement on Louis looking for a mirror of himself in Claudia and not seeing many of the ways she takes after him. Personally I think he’s also resisting seeing her more Lestat-ish sides until he’s forced to face them. Part of the problem is that he’s only looking for the more savory parts of himself in her, not the ones he’s less than keen to admitting to and I think that’s tied to…the social and moral acceptability of loving Claudia. It’s not the best way of putting it but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while but I’m still struggling to express: how important I think it is to Louis that Claudia is someone that he can and should love unconditionally and without the shame and baggage of loving Lestat, both as his child and as an innocent -or as much an innocent as a vampire can be.

(x)

Yeah, I totally agree.

To add to your point about Louis and unconditional love, this might sound like a bit of a stretch, but bear with me, haha, but I think it kind of ties into this throughline of Louis placing an enormous amount of responsibility on himself to be the primary resource/provider/carer for those he loves, and as a part of that, being in denial of their needs when they need things he doesn't want to acknowledge, or has no skills or resources to meet?

I've been percolating on this a bit during my very-slow-rewatch of the series, but I really do think we see the foundation of that in the pilot where Louis' not only obviously taken on the entire financial burden of the de Pointe du Lac family, but is simultaneously trying to oversee (with Florence) Grace getting married, and the care of Paul. I talk about it a bit in my Grace post, but I think Louis shutting down Grace when she brings up the prospect of seeking help is a really telling character moment.

Not only is it indicative of his shifting role in her life between brother and father, and his paternalistic tendencies generally, but I think it also reflects his denial of the idea that caring for Paul is something he can't handle himself. It's coming from a genuine place of love, but the reality is also that none of them are equipped to help Paul in the way that he needs it, and Louis will downplay that because he doesn't want it to be true.

What Louis wants is to be everything to everyone all of the time, and I think there is a part of him that resents them for it. I mean, he basically literally says that to Claudia's face - he does see her as a burden, and that frustrates him, but at the same time, he wants that. He wants burdens, he wants people to need him, and when they need something he can't give them, well, he resents them for that too.

I think we see it a lot with Louis when it comes to Claudia, but I think we see it with Lestat and a bit with Armand too. He wants to be the person they need most, and what that looks like changes based on the person and relationship dynamic. Like I'd say it manifests very differently for Loius The Father vs Louis The Husband, but I do also think it's there with all of them, and when it's a need he can't meet whether that be growing up, or romantic love, or mental health, or healing a trauma, he denies it until he's forced to face it, and then he usually resents them for it.

I think his love for Claudia is in a lot of ways a really intense version of that specifically because she is his daughter, and the idea that he can't provide what she needs or be all the love that she needs or truly protect her is elevated by the nature of that specific dynamic. It's all fed by paternal guilt and parental ownership and the idea that by the simple fact of being his daughter, she's both his reflection and his responsibility no matter how old she gets, or how much she wants to change their roles.

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Live Action Last Airbender really said in order to get rid of the sexism, some other sexism had to take its place but unlike Sokka learning sexism was bad, the new sexism is never addressed and treated like its okay.

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

(Tw Matty Healy, Sexism) Gender based sexism is some guy saying they were emasclulated by the idea of dating you ten years ago and then coming back 8 years later out of nowhere and promising to have changed and promising babies and marriage and then ghosting after you openly and publicly commited to them and all their off color jokes. Matty Healy is a shit show of gender based sexism and weird hang ups about woman having success like geeze and I know Joe Alwyn wasn't a saint neither but at least he kept that shit to himself and didn't openly say

"But I didn’t make a big deal out of it myself. It’s not really anything to talk about, because if she wasn’t Taylor Swift we wouldn’t be talking about her.

“She wasn’t a big impact on my life. It’s just interesting to me how interested the world is about Taylor Swift.”

“And the reason I mention that is because if I had gone out with Taylor Swift I would’ve been, ‘F**king hell! I am NOT being Taylor Swift’s boyfriend.’ You know, ‘F**K. THAT.’

“That’s also a man thing, a de-masculinating, emasculating thing.”

and then turn around, pretend to be prince charming and then peace out and get engaged to the next person they dated.

Fucking AMEN to that!! I think those quotes get directly at the core of why his betrayal was so rotten- he clearly got off on pursuing The Taylor Swift like a fucking big game trophy hunt, and the subsequent dropping her like a used Kleenex. Obviously I don’t know the man, but it seems to me that he was very much into degrading her, watching her bend over backwards to be with him, “tarnishing” her reputation, and then being the guy that broke The Taylor Swift’s heart. I can’t possibly understand all the nuance of trusting partners as an extremely famous diaristic songwriter, but I imagine that for him part of the thrill was knowing she was writing about him. (Side note: Which is why I respect her approach to writing about him in TTPD so much! She didn’t have to do that but she spoke honestly about her embarrassing situation and took the satisfaction away from him I guess) Idk it makes my skin crawl to even try to get in that guys head but somethign something intimacy of songwriting something exploiting emotional vulnerability. Maybe he didn’t do it on purpose, maybe he regrets it, maybe he’s not all bad, blah blah blah idk he just gives me the creeps and I don’t trust men’s motivations generally, especially when we have an enormous amount of data showing that this man gets off on women’s pain and trauma.

[lilyimmsim]

i think there’s a divide between the way women and men can talk + feel about themselves. it’s difficult as women to say “i am beautiful” or “strong” or “hot” or “worthy”. i think it’s much more acceptable to say these things, or much more expected, when you’re a man. it’s shown in media all the time; the main character thinks she’s ugly and is so shy and can’t see it until a dude comes along and tells her she’s beautiful; it’s seen in the lyrics “you don’t know you’re beautiful - that’s what makes you beautiful”. and i get that those lyrics are from a popular, harmless song but it injects this belief into young girls that not knowing, not admitting your beauty is what makes you pretty, rather than owning the beauty + being confident of it.

[dykefever]

i saw barbie last night and to be honest it was hysterical like i have Not laughed that hard in like forever + it was still very greta gerwig n basically the best film it could have been considering it was a toy commercial also 🙏🏼

[depvotee]

i will not stand green team in my house. i swear to god.

[august--and-everything-after]

So when I was at the bar and had been talking to Friday Guy for a bit, he offers to buy us a couple tequila shots, and I accept cause why not lol I was already letting loose and I didn't have any bad vibes off him.

HOWEVER at a later time when we were getting another round, I paid for his drink cause I enjoy emasculating men a wee bit I think that kind of reciprocity helps set expectations with men I've just met.

[earhartsease]

we still get immediately shoved out of our immersion in tv shows or films when The Girl find a dead body and immediately shrieks - we just don't find it realistic because we're pretty confident most people would gasp rather than shriek (i.e. sharp inhale rather than sharp exhale) and it also feels unnecessarily (and predictably) misogynistic too, as men encountering corpses almost never do the same on screen

also of course please do tell us if you've actually encountered a corpse unexpectedly, because tumblr is absolutely a place where some people have done this thing and we love a good anecdote

suddenly imagining "burst into song" as a potential response

edit: since lots of people are still responding to this (we were amazed at the huge response over a just 24 hour poll), we want to make it clearer that we were never saying "of course nobody shrieks", we were railing against how on screen, women always do in an over dramatic way, and when men do it's made fun of like they've emasculated themselves by shrieking (so it's clearly a deliberate misogynistic trope)

meanwhile of course some people do shriek, as clearly demonstrated not just by the nearly 11% in the poll, but by all the tags we got inundated with - the main responses seem to be: gasp, swear loudly, vomit, grunt or make some other kind of other inarticulate noise, and shriek

anyway, thanks for playing

[sasquotch]

the whole "trans men just have sexual trauma" thing absolutely infuriates me, as someone who was practically brainwashed into believing i was raped by conversion therapists as a kid.

i have been an obvious transsexual my entire life. i told everyone i was a boy. i was just told it was normal and nobody wants to be a girl. i told my mom i wanted a dick and balls and she said, "no you dont."

i was put in conversion therapy, diagnosed with autism, despite not having many of the symptoms, and put on Risperdal. an anti psychotic drug that was not meant to be used in children as young as i was, that also "just so happens" to cause out of control breast growth. (it also caused me to become obese and struggle with my weight for years even after i stopped taking it, despite never having weight problems before.)

therapists and my parents would constantly tell me that i was hiding something and try to hypnotize me into remembering it, i had no idea what it was, i was told something horrible happened to me and i had to remember it, i kept telling them i dont remember, and they told me i had memory problems. they kept telling me i had a memory locked away somewhere and i had to recover it, i had no idea what they meant by this.

i have no idea how to describe the way that i felt because of this. the feeling didnt go away when the therapy ended. it stayed with me for YEARS. my entire childhood and most of my teenage years i felt like i had a dark and evil secret that i couldnt even remember. it stuck with me, i didnt even know what it was. they marked me socially and mentally as a "rape victim" without it even happening, without me even understanding what they had done.

i didnt find out until i was a teenager that the therapists were telling my parents i had been raped. based on nothing. you know what happened in these therapy sessions? i played with animal toys and told the therapist i didnt want to go to school and that i wanted to be a boy. i told them i hated my name. and wanted to be called by a different name. they told me i had a deep dark secret i needed to remember and confess to them.

because marking me as someone who had been raped would emasculate me.

[cerastes]

Habe you ever had a "did we even play the same game?" moment with someone?

My favorite game ever used to be Metal Gear Solid 4, it’s still up there in my top favorites, and this time at a party I met a guy that said he didn’t like MGS4 because he felt like it ruined Snake as a character and that it misrepresented him. I asked if he could elaborate and his response was that they took this Rambo dude, this super manly war hero and emasculated him into a weak old man.

I need you to understand that Solid Snake was without exaggeration fundamental in my growth as a person: I am from a latino country, grew up in what’s widely considered the wrong side of the tracks in the middle of nowhere, being macho, manly, tough was incredibly important to me, because that’s how it was in there, and Snake (plus “The Knight In Rusty Armor” by Robert Fisher) basically made me question all of what I’d grown up thinking up until then, because Snake isn’t a badass because grrr manly beef jerky I kill and swear, he is this incredibly solemn guy who hates what he can do, but is the only one that can do it, and if he doesn’t do it, then nuclear war happens, or worse. There’s a whole angle of expectation as a narrative arc in regards to Snake: Meryl expected a glorious, boisterous war hero, Otacon expected a grizzled, badass action hero, Liquid expected Himself But Better In Every Way, Ocelot expected a tool and nothing else, Naomi expected a callous and cold killer… And they were all wrong, he is, ultimately, an exhausted man that cannot stop no matter how much he wants to stop, because if he does, the world might likely go up in literal flames.

So to hear this self-proclaimed superfan of Snake say this just made me skip anger and go all the way to pity. In-universe, those in the know of Snake worship him as an actual God of War, and it’s a common thing that gets addressed in-universe: The whole point of MGS2 is that Raiden could never have won if he tried to be Snake, because you don’t want to be Snake. Snake hates being Snake. Snake isn’t manly because he beat a tank on foot one on one, Snake is admirable because he does the right thing, even if he’s breaking down molecule by molecule as he goes and he wants nothing more than to fuck off and raise dogs in the arctic, but keeps on going anyways because he can do something about it. The most important message he imparts on Raiden and Meryl is Don’t Be Me; Create A World Where Snake Doesn’t Need To Exist.

I felt pity because if you feel like MGS4 misrepresented Snake, then you really and explicitly are exactly the kind of fodder PMC nobody that feeds the proxy wars in MGS4. I think only by skipping every cutscene you can come out thinking that way. The only thing super about him was ficial.

[misshazelevers20]

me 10 minutes into this movie: dump him!!!

[unidentifiedfuckingthing]

i think the idea of "the prepper" could do with some recognition of a distinction between fascists who are hoping for an apocalypse in which they'll come out gloriously empowered by virtue of their racial and religious might, and people who have like, a debilitating fear and obsession over a lack of stability in their life that they funnel into preparing for extreme and scripted/ritualized worst-case scenarios because it feels more tangible and higher reward/relief than stabilizing their current life. --and that theres a spectrum between these positions, and personal preoccupation with stability can easily be the reason a person was drawn to that far right community/narrative promising that stability, where the religiosity +/- supremacy is a natural consequence and not the initial attraction