#I should start making tiktoks
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It’s from may this year too when american sweetshop came out so could be tru
Me watching my hopes go up just for them to eventually come back down to crash and burn
#wow two ‘me when’ memes in a row#comedy gold right here#I should start making tiktoks#or just comment it under every video I come across even when there’s nothing remotely relatable#omg me when I get my sleeve wet while washing my hands and have to change shirt#me when I accidentally grab my conditioner instead of my shampoo even though my vision isn’t impaired and can easily read the bottle#hahaha someone fucking sedate me
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#star trek#star trek tos#spirk#tos spirk#tos#tos spock#spock#james t kirk#scotty x uhura#montgomery scott#nyota uhura#i’m crying for unrelated reasons so i’m posting my own memes to make myself feel better#should i make these posts smaller?#should i start posting on tiktok again#i mean i never stopped posting on my main#but y’all don’t know about that#(if you do shhh)#should i return to spirkbitch on tiktok??#star trek the motion picture#star trek meme#star trek memes#star trek the original series#bones mccoy#leonard mccoy#i can literally hear the second one in their voices like i would totally believe if that was a real line in a real episode
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Hatsune Miku Sebastian
… i could’ve made anything else… but i chose this…
enjoy I Guess 😭😭
#hatsune miku#sebastian solace#sebastian pressure#roblox pressure#sebastian fanart#fish man#my art#small artist#artists on tumblr#digital art#it all started from a tiktok 😭😭#Save me…#i should make voltron art…#I could have Made epic art…#But no…#A fucking fish
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the tiktok cosplayers are gonna make me run back to tiktok if they don’t QUIT. RIGHT. NOW.
#i’m on my PERSONAL tiktok account.#clicking ‘not interested’ after watching all of their videos 283929 times and fighting for MY LIFE#like ‘should i start up another fandom tiktok account? make a new one? for old times sake?’ NOOO#DONT GO THERE CAUSE YOULL NEVER RETURN#tiktok gives me anger issues the last thing i need is to be embroiled in petty fandom discourse between cosplayers LMFAOOKKENENSNAN#like boom james cosplay. next video discourse. next video remus cosplay. next video worst fandom take you’ve ever heard in ur life.#god doesn’t want that for me
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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I'm still thinking about the straw hat crew being canonically teenagers because acquiring that knowledge fucked me up beyond repair. before Robin and then Franky joined the crew they were literally all like 17 to 19 and that should not be allowed methinks
#luffy being 17 and then 19 after the timeskip just gives me the absolute rest like girl he should be in SCHOOL#don't get me started on their CREW DOCTOR BEING FUCKING 15 YEARS OLD#i kind of slid into the One Piece Cosplay Sketches side of tiktok and i am having a grand old time over there but it keeps making me think#zoro and sanji are supposed to be 19 before the timeskip 😭😭 zoro looks like he served a seven year prison sentence#and sanji looks like he's paying child support to three different women and one guy#what do you MEAN they're 21 in the story currently?????? THAT'S YOUNGER THAN I AM !!#rude. despicable frankly#ok fine my new favourite characters are robin franky and brook because they're REASONABLE AGES (thirties. and also ninety)#oh no this just reminded me that ace died at 19. the mist traumatising event of my preteen-hood.........#they're all BABIES what are they DOING#rayrambles
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beginning to understand the power of a traditional sketchbook
#talkys#i wish there was more time in the day to scribble in it for hours#i also wish i could get free trad art supplies by posting on tiktok LOL but its scary there#also in some ways all my art making is so frantic recently. ive absolutely run out the clock and should have been Good by now but im not#now i have to try my hardest to Get Good at art before i have to find 3 jobs to sustain myself and i never get to draw again#but anyway its fun in here i cant wait to finally finish this old sketchbook and start a new one
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the political message in tf kills me because it is so complex and it reflects real life so well that it's painful
it's hard to choose a side because both are bad. it's hard to choose a side because war is cruel and so is everyone involved in it. there is no way to escape the violence once you enter this cycle
there are multiple ways of viewing it. the war starts with a revolution that has long since turned into a desire for control. megatron wanted to be free, at first, and yet in the end, he was only another colonizer
the war starts because no one did anything about the treatment of the miners. it starts because people turned a blind eye to the cruelty that was happening right before them
it starts when two people fighting for freedom take their ideals to the extreme. it starts when one refuses to kill and when one bathes in blood
it's just such a complicated conflict
#but in the end it's nothing more than fiction#arguing over which side is better will do nothing to solve global issues (aimed. at the idiots on tiktok mostly lol)#it is fun to watch the arguments though! everyone has some very valid points and i like hearing them#it's almost like real life politics#transformers#tf#avis talks#see it is so important to me that in many versions the war starts because two dudes decide the goverment should go fuck itself#and then disagreed on the methods of how to actually make the goverment go fuck itself#it's hard to pick a side because they're both right and they're both wrong#sometimes violence is necessary to get people to listen to you. however this does not mean you should try to put yourself in charge via it#and its always best to find a peaceful resolution to things; however the people are angry and they will not rest until they get the+#consolation that it will never happen again. their anger is valid and so is yours. do something about it#ah dont mind me im just ranting#Transformers one
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HELLO CJ TUMBLR
have my awful drawing of mind .
to me he is a greying old man with shitty patchy facial hair and terrible posture and so much depression. it is fitting, i think
ignore the pose btw. i don't know what to do with hands or arms. ever. in my life. especially the right one! references DO NOT HELP. unfortunately.
please enjoy :P i did my best.
NOBODY LAUGH AT ME. ILL CRY. SERIOUSLY. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP okay. dont get cancelled dont get cancelled dont get cancelled. HELP
PERHAPS I WILL COLOUR AND UPLOAD A COLOURED VERSION? IF I DO NOT GET MOBBED OFF TUMBLR?!?!?!?!
#thank you for your time#i should start tagging stuff#like#my art#thank you#im not putting this in my mind tag so i dot make myself cringe when scrolling through it#thank you!#chonny jash mind#chonny jash#chonny's charming chaos compendium#cccc#cccc fanart#i post like an annxious little sopping wet cat#always gotta apologise in advance so i dont get the art tiktok treatment#and get laughed at in public
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wanna be put in a room with craft stuff for 10 years
#i cant focus on anything rn but the stuff i wanna make and its turning my brain into mush#the weird brainfucked fear that if i dont get these things started Soon ill forget it#my memory is so fucking borked man and my brain runs too fucking fast to hold on to anything#i make so much that i went and made my own hell lol#the two jobs thing i think is probably the crux rn cause ive got even less time than i used to and my time blindness gives me troubles#ill get adjusted to it#sometimes with all my fucked up processing issues makes me feel like im kind of stuck in a weird bubble#like i have no idea whats happening or whos around me or what people are saying and i just have to stumble through it yknow#shouldve been born as a tiktokers pet snail#not tryna be complainy or in a bad mood or nuffin im fine i literally just want to be making stuff rn#even though works like a big Thing its also been understimulating the past week because theres nothing to do i just gotta Be Here#i need to be put under pressure i need squeezed i need smushed and i aint getting that#if i ever make something for u plz hound me about it#so i can explain in excruciating detail what step im on and how im doing it and what still needs done and how ill do THAT#i should make tutorials#i feel like im way too stream of consciousness to make anything actually helpful#idk i want a toast chee
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is there a cure to making friendship bracelets and where do I acquire it
#i watched a tiktok a few days ago that was like 'not everything you make needs to have a purpose#you can make things just for the sake of it'#but by god where does one store so many friendship bracelets#the eras tour is at fault and i managed to swap all the ones i made initially#but now i have acquired knowledge about different techniques#AND FOR WHAT#should have started a year ago to get it out of my system and actually make someone happy with them (hopefully)
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There’s this one tiktoker who made a few viral videos talking about relationships I’ve noticed in a few of her videos she mentions feeling like she is being blamed by these men for her relationships ending/other party losing interest or feelings, which I can kind of relate to but also not really
Like in general I am pretty sensitive to blame/criticism, and can sometimes feel like I’m being blamed/criticized for something when really the other person is just voicing a frustration (think ‘damn the laundry isn’t done yet’ but I hear ‘you’re lazy/dumb for not starting laundry earlier’)
But that’s generally not the case for me in dating I guess, like whenever I’m dating someone new and they told me that they didn’t want to continue seeing me or that they lost interest in me, I’ve always kind of seen it as a ~them problem, like the other party is telling me a fact about themself. I never internalized their reasoning as something that was my fault or that they were blaming me for losing feelings, maybe because I think of myself as a generally authentic(👁️) person and so it’s not like I have any regrets about my behavior or what I could have done differently
(unlike the laundry example, where I clearly see how I could’ve started laundry earlier)
#txt#maybe I need to practice being more authentic to my needs and desires when I’m alone 🤔 I have no problem doing it w other people#but apparently struggle to be authentic to myself when I’m by myself#for example today I had the whole day and it was so lovely I thought abt going to Central Park but I was like nah I should stay home clean#but then I stayed home and didn’t clean so I felt like I wasted the whole day#also another note about the tiktoker but she apparently only dates these men for 2-3 months before they lose interest which… is like normal#I think it takes 1-2 months to get to know someone enough before deciding if you wanna continue dating and maybe 6-7 months to fall in love#so these men dumping her after 2-3 months is like. a perfectly reasonable time frame to decide to stop dating#the fact that she believes these men that are like ‘I could see myself marrying you’ during that time just makes me think she’s naive#and chooses men who are emotionally immature / like to put her on a pedestal. which sounds like I’m blaming her but I’m just stating a fact#that being said I also have trust issues and it took me like 6 months after partner and I started saying ‘I love you’ for me to believe them#like we’d say I love you but then I’d fear we break up whenever we had a disagreement. which is maybe unnecessarily guarded 😬
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my uninformed american opinion is that i will be calling it derry not londonderry because im american and therefore will always support ireland if its ireland vs the british.
(i wasn't even going to post this but i wrote a whole essay in the tags so i don't want to waste that)
#i feel like i'm getting into very controversial waters here idk if i should say any of this#also. what do the actual people that live there call it bc i think that should be the end of it.#i saw on tiktok that the only foreign alliance that could make america turn against the uk would be ireland and i fully agree#(i live in new england. uhm. almost everyone here is irish) (irish american i suppose.)#i could talk about ireland and american relations. maybe i will.#here's my understanding of irish-american relations as someone who has never studied the topic in particular#but does have an interest in american history#first off. yes america is very good allies with the uk but culturally it's like. a bullying sort of thing. leftover resentment from the rev#i'm sure it's somewhat similar to everyone's resentment of america. maybe idk im not european#anyway america is built on underdog stories. thats like the foundation of our national culture. the american dream#and these stories started showing up innnnn .... the mid to late 1800s!!#do you know what also happened in the 1800s?#yup! irish people started fleeing their homeland to a better life (cough cough the americas)#so! in the time when stories about immigrants coming to america (the american dream- the most important part of us culture)#a ton of immigrants were irish! wow. do you see where i'm going with this#anyway about 9.5% of america is irish. which is A Lot (3rd most prominent ancestry)#and here in america bc being an immigrant and coming from immigrants and etc is kinda A Thing here#people typically hang on to their non-american identity#i mean i do. you can catch me talking about being french canadian a lot on tumblr.#another thing! even if you aren't irish american sometimes places r so irish that it kinda. blends into ur identification with a city#cough cough boston. cough cough massachusetts.#anyway . so. to recap#ireland and america share a common sorta not really enemy : the british. also they r the underdog which makes us sympathetic#And a lot of america has irish heritage and bc it's the us there's heritage actually matters (sorta)#and therefore the usa will always like ireland A Lot. or at least the people will.#rereading that i hope it makes sense#once again i am not a scholar and have not studied this topic these are just my inferences and observations#rain feathers talks#i will not be tagging this
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do we all have that one cousin who's lost his ability to conceptualise human beings as people and also thinks he knows exactly what you should do to make a ton of money even tho everything he's ever tried failed? or is it just me?
#every time I run into my cousin miguel he starts lecturing me about all the money we/I could make if I did xyz#but also it's soooo funny his ideas are always so obviously ridiculous. build a new bathroom and rent two suites in the apartment as airbnb#like. build. a new. bathroom.#yeah that will certainly make me money why didn't i think of that.#he also is trying to tell me how to make numbers on ig and tiktok but he has already tried and it didn't work#he should know it's easier said then done but also why would I do that ever. I have eyes I see what being an influencer is like. no thank u
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What if instead of finishing all my WIPS that I’m hoping to have out by the end of the year I started writing another Drabble about the fallout of a collapsing relationship and infidelity. Hm. What if 🤔 💭 ✍️
#thinking about my anarcia break up oneshot again#I saw a poll about cheating fics and went god. what if I did that again#pure angst no comfort#a couple that’s still together but they haven’t been a capital c couple for a long time#we’re dating but we don’t even recognize each other anymore#we’re both doing things we know hurt each other and we both know we should have ended this a long time ago and yet#also I was listening to that one TikTok ballerinas song and it’s so good she’s so good I love her and her music#anyways that song had the vibes im going for with this idea#anyways I miss writing angst#idk if y’all liked the breakup Drabble but I liked it and that’s what matters#I know Danielle was so mad at me for making Marcia a Cheater bur hey it was necessary for the story#anyways it’s 2:30 am and I need to go to sleep or finish writing my exchange fic and absolutely not start something new#anyways#would y’all be interested sound off in the replies or reblogs or tags or my dms whatever#Rachel rambles#writing#okay love you all mwah#also I posted this to my main by accident#and I had to painstakingly retype all these tags so if you don’t take the time to read them I’m jumping off my roof
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thinking about her again <3
(*zhen from psycholonials by andrew hussie)
#they should let quirked up chinese nonbinary tiktokers start clown cults that overthrow the united states government actually. i think that#might be the most reasonable political choice that they could possibly make right now#ZHEN PSYCHOLONIALS SAVE ME... SAVE ME ZHEN PSYCHOLONIALS#(their ass is not doing any saving)
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