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stitching-in-time · 5 months ago

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Voyager rewatch s3 ep 14: Alter Ego

I didn't remember this one at all! I feel like I saw the luau scene at some point, but I don't think I've ever seen this one all the way through till now either. (God, how awesome it's been to basically experience some of these for the first time!! Why did I wait so long to do a full rewatch?!)

It opens with Harry pining after a holodeck character, and asking Tuvok to help him meditate his crush away. To his credit, at least Harry realizes that crushing on a holodeck character is stupid, but I still feel like sometimes the writers treat him more like a teenager than a grown up- having him staring into space during duty shifts and being all-consumed by this crush felt out of character, especially when we meet her, and there's nothing especially remarkable about her that would make her so attractive to Harry, specifically. She's pretty and all, but she's not a scientist or anything, and she looks at least 10 years older than Harry. Everyone on Voyager is pretty and smart, so it's not like he had a lack of real people to crush on. (Real talk: Harry should have been Voyager's resident heartthrob- he's cute, he's sweet, he's smart! He'd be be fending them off with a stick, c'mon!)

But anyway, Tuvok tries to help Harry out, but ends up being drawn in by Harry's holodeck crush, Marayna, who starts to take more of an interest in Tuvok than Harry.

Meanwhile, Voyager is exploring an unusual nebula, and somehow, despite many, many previous experiences with funky nebulas that cause Stuff to Happen on the ship, nobody sees the connection between the nebula and a creepy holodeck character that's obsessed with, and being obsessed over, by crew members.

We get some fun character stuff as the crew plans a luau on the holodeck, and some more silly high-school type drama surrounding who's going with who to the prom luau. Everybody shows up in tacky Hawaiian shirts and dresses, which is cute AF. (I actually own a dress that looks almost exactly like B'Elanna's!!) Janeway and Chakotay show up together, looking very couple-y (is it a date if you show up to a party with your first officer and hang on his arm all night? I think the answer here is 'yes'), and we get our first indications that both Tom and Ensign Vorik are crushing on B'Elanna, who doesn't get paid enough to deal with how many guys have crushes on her on that ship. (I mean, I can't blame them, I have a crush on her too, but apparently Starfleet Academy doesn't prepare it's cadets for anything in life besides science, because nearly every guy on the ship acts like a teenager when they like somebody.)

Tom comes through with another good sense pep talk when he tells Harry not to make a big deal out of falling for a holodeck character, it happens to everyone, don't stress about it. He convinces Harry to come to the luau, but Harry storms out in a huff when he sees Tuvok with Marayna. Marayna's program is clearly adapting to Tuvok, since she now plays cal-to like he does, and she's been observing his behavior since he got to the party. They do a decent job of making her seem like someone Tuvok would believably hit it off with, but it feels a bit out of character that he wouldn't be more suspicious of her earlier on.

Tuvok spends more time with Marayna, but Harry gets high-key jealous again, leading Tuvok to delete her character in order to show him he doesn't have any romantic feelings for her. Tuvok finally cottons on that somethhing weird is going on when she appears in his quarters after he deletes her. The crew tries to disable her program on the holodeck, but Marayna has access to the ship's computer now, and the other holodeck characters attack them when they try to shut it down. (Side note: what is that lei strung on, fishing line?! Picture hanging wire?! I cannot think of an actual necklace material that wouldn't break if you tried to strangle someone with it, especially a Klingon!) Eventually the crew realizes that Marayna isn't just a holodeck character, someone has been transmitting a signal to the holodeck from within the nebula- she won't let Tuvok go, and demands they beam him to her or she'll use the nebula to destroy Voyager.

Tuvok beams over, and meets an alien woman who's been keeping the nebula from collapsing all by herself for years, who's just lonely and wants Tuvok to stay with her. It reminds me a lot of the ending of the Next Generation episode 'Future Imperfect', which had a much stronger story, and the twist was more hearbreaking because the character in that ep was stranded where they were. Apparently, the alien who's been posing as Marayna is just in a job she could leave at any time. Tuvok suggests she does, since he has a wife and family back home, and a mission on Voyager, and he can't stay with her. She apparently didn't even think to ask if he was married, nor did it occur to her that quitting her job is a better option than threatening to kill people and kidnapping someone, so she takes his advice and lets him go, because she really likes him.

This episode felt a bit over the top, both in the lengths Marayna was wiling to go to when she literally had better options available, and in her effect on Harry. He seemed like he was almost ill or in a trance in a lot of the scenes, and I thought they were gonna explain it as alien mind control, but no, we're just supposed to believe that he acted that stupid on his own. Ugh. (I honestly wonder if Garrett was sick when they filmed this, since he sounded congested and looked genuinely tired and groggy the whole episode.)

While it was nice to have some interaction between Harry and Tuvok, I hate how much of it was fighting over a girl. Making Harry so jealous and possessive was weird, and made his character seem immature and jerky, which I could have done without entirely.

Tl;dr: Some nice character moments, and the luau was fun, but overall, the story was weak, and suffers in comparison to a much better Next Generation episode with a similar ending. Plus, it actively sabotaged Harry's character development with the excessive childish jealousy they gave him here.

#star trek: voyager #voyager rewatch #rewatching star trek #star trek voyager #star trek

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alaffy · 6 months ago

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Bridgerton, Ep. 3x01 – Out of the Shadows (Spoilers)

I started watching this episode a couple of weeks ago and quickly realized I needed to rewatch the first two seasons as I clearly wasn’t remembering everything that happened. Also, forgive me, this recap will be jumping all over the place as I will be kind of focusing on each character and not so much story order.

To get a few storylines quickly out of the way. It seems as though Will’s life is about to get more interesting as his eldest son has now been named the Earl of Kent. I can’t say much more about this as there were only two scenes that focused on this moment.

The Queen is clearly bored. Some think it’s because she is unsure after that disaster with Anthony and Edwina, others think she doesn’t like this years choice of candidates for “The Diamond.” Honestly, it seems like she was just waiting for Whistledown to come out and play.

Lady Featherington has the Ton convinced that Cousin Jack signed over the estate to whichever daughter first has a male heir and that Lady Featherington suddenly got all this money from a dead relative. Well, she’s almost got everyone convinced. It seems that The Crown, or the person acting for the Crown, is a little suspicious of that document giving the estate to the daughters. If one of them doesn’t have a son soon, and the document is found to be a forge, then they could loose everything. Also, her second daughter got married. Thankfully we were not blessed to see that courtship.

Last year, Kate and Anthony had the enemies to lovers storyline. This year, their storyline seems to be HORNY. Well, sort of. Basically, they have just come back from their honeymoon and find that the estate is being run well by Benedict and Violet. So, they decided that, for once, they are going to live for themselves. They are going to extend their honeymoon and try to start their own family. And it makes sense. Several of the conversations last season revolved around family telling them to live for themselves. And if everything is being handled, this is the right time to do it. It also means the writers have a way to write them out of a portion of the season; letting them focus on other characters.

Like Francesca. Here’s the reality of the situation. As much as people enjoy Bridgerton, it is doubtful that it will get eight seasons. The three elder, unmarried Bridgertons will each get their own season. But the youngest three? Probably not. At the very least, it doesn’t make sense to have one for Francesca. For various reasons, the character has barely been in the series. We know more about the two youngest Bridgertons than we do her. So, it does kind of make sense that they are making her a secondary plot. Now, that doesn’t mean that they are trying to quickly get through her story. It also wouldn’t surprise me if her story starts this season, but ends sometime in the middle of next season. But I don’t think they’re intending to make her the main character of a season.

As for Francesca, she’s a very practical person who’s more interested in music than she is with the social scene. I mean, she will play her part and she is looking for a husband; but it is clear that her passions lie elsewhere at this point.

Eliose, after last years scandal, has decided to not be herself. She’s decided to throw herself into the whole “What ladies should be” idea, but it’s clear she’s not cut out for it. She can dress the part, but truly taking an interest….The one thing she has, though, is a new friendship in Cressida. And they’re good for one another. One thing I noticed, when doing my rewatch of the first two seasons, is that the writers do write Penelope and Eloise as two friends drifting apart. Of course, what ended their friendship was Eloise discovering Penelope was Whistledown; but it is very clear that their interests were shifting. And also, while you have Penelope keeping one hell of a secret from Eloise, you also have the fact that there are several times that Eloise is clearly not hearing a word Penelope is saying.

But with Eloise and Cressida, they’re listening to one another. Cressida is good for Eloise as she is helping Eloise find her way in society. Eloise is good for Cressida as she’ll easily call out Cressida when she goes too far.

Another possible friendship in the works is Penelope and Francesca. At least, they seem to have similar temperaments.

That being said, while Eloise doesn’t really want to interact with Penelope right now, it’s clear that she still cares for her. Which is probably why she hasn’t revealed her secret.

But let us get to the big love affair this season: Colin and Penelope. The show starts with the two big reveals. First, we have the new Francesca, about to be presented to the Queen. As the family rushes to get into their carriages, they see a group of women fawning over a man. The women part ways and we see…Chris Pine? Seriously, I expected the actor to get his own glow up, but maybe they went a bit too far. Yes, Colin is back from traveling again and he’s, uh, the best way I can describe it is that he’s play-acting flirting. The women are falling for it, but it is so disingenuous. The only women he seems like he can truly talk to are the ones in his family and Penelope.

Penelope, meanwhile, is sick of everyone’s shit. Well, not so much at Eloise, until Cressida purposely rips Penelope’s dress, then she seems pretty annoyed at Eloise as well. Anyway, Penelope has decided that she can no longer live with her family and so she must find a husband this season. Time for glow up number two. The problem is, Penelope…not so good at conversing with strangers. Well, except for a new character, Lord Debling.

She also has no time for Colin as he cut her to the quick last season (unbeknownst to him). Colin is very confused as he sees her as a dear friend. Of course, all is revealed to him at the first ball, as Penelope tries to leave after having a humiliating night. Afterwards, Penelope goes home and writes some biting things about the Queen and Colin (girl, you have got to learn to let your emotions settle before writing).

The next day, Colin comes to apologize to Penelope for being…an asshole, really. He also has a grand idea, if Penelope has her heart set on getting married this season he will help her. After all, he picked up on how to fake charm in his travels and he can teach her to do the same. Penelope is happy…and then remembers that she just published as Whistledown.

Colin catches Eloise reading the latest issue of Whistledown. Eloise does not want to show him the pamphlet as is speaks of him. Specifically, how he’s come back with a whole different persona; but is he just a fake? Colin actually doesn’t give a damn what Whistledown wrote about him; but he can’t forgive her for what she’s done to Eloise and Lady Crane. Eloise asks if he might have an idea of who Whistledown is. He does not. However, he vows that, if he ever finds out, he will ruin their life instead.

#Bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #francesca bridgerton #colin brigerton #penelope featherington #eloise bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #kate bridgerton

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feuqueerfire · 1 year ago

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July - November 2023 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

A little monthly (spoilery!) wrap-up of all the shows, movies, and shorts I’ve watched or am watching in July, August, September, October, November 2023, general thoughts, and ranking of them all.

Recommendation of the month(s): Stay With Me or Our Dating Sim

Ranking

Enigma = Stay With Me = Our Dating Sim

Love Tractor

Be My Favorite

Sing My Crush

Skimmed: Addicted Heroin

Average Rating: 5.9/10

MDL Updates - Added to Watchlist:

A section because I’m curious about how many shows I decide to add to my Watch List a month and also the ratio of watching them:adding them.

Love Tractor

La Pluie - tentatively adding this. Apparently it's really great until ep 7 and then there are some good scenes between eps 8 - 10 but it's mostly just frustration

Enigma

Stay With Me

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble - wanted something thriller that had a bromance/BL but romance wasn’t at the forefront and was recced this

Merry Queer - I probably removed it a couple months ago cuz it seemed like I’d never watch it but I saw a few tiktoks again that reminded me that I do want to

Sing My Crush - just found out about its existence (apparently it came out all together on Aug 2) and saw ppl say this was another good kBL this year, hopefully it’ll be good

Laws of Attraction

Love Class Season 2

Only Friends

Midnight Runners

A Breeze of Love

To Watch List At Start Of Month: 49

To Watch List At End Of Month: 49 (idk how... should be like 53 or smth)

Removed from To Watch List:

Removing these on June 30 because now that I’m getting into kpop as well, my interest in watching dramas isn’t as high and I know I’m probably not gonna get to these.

Unintentional Love Story (2023) - probably wouldn't end up watching it

Gameboys (2020) - I keep putting off watching it, so I likely won't

Kingdom (2019) - I was on the fence about adding it in the first place and now I don't think I'll watch it

September

D.P. (2021) - don’t think I’ll watch it

La Pluie - lol already removing it

July

I got into zerobaseone and it took over all my free time, so I barely watched any shows this month.

I randomly skim-watched Addicted Heroin eps 10 - 15 on July 15 and yeah, it's deranged lol but I do kinda get why it took over people's minds, esp when there wasn't as much live-action BL. Also, foot kiss ep 13 at 14 minutes in and the guy asking "what if it hurts?" "well then I can bottom, idc" but him lying down again despite the offer anyway are uhh very good. There's a Chinese bromance remake, right? Maybe I'll watch that if it gets good reception.

July 29: Watched the My School President: Super Special Episode. It was cute, Gun and Tinn are cute as expected, even if nothing revolutionary.

July 30: Rewatched Malec scenes because I suddenly wanted to and missed them.

I didn't watch much this month, so I'll combine August with this as well.

August

A bunch of shows I wanted to watch are ending, like Enigmal, Stay With ME, and Be My Favourite, and there's some shows that I've been wanting to watch like Love Tractor and Boys Planet. Since my internship and summer semester is ending soon + ZB1 YITS promotions are over, hopefully I can watch some of these.

Completely Watched

Love Tractor

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Jun 7, 2023 - Jun 21, 2023

Watch Via: iQiyi (paid, so :>)

Watch Dates: Aug 4 - 5, 2023

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: Ah, the dynamic is so delicious. Older, colder, richer, more jaded Seoul city man and younger, cheery, puppy-like new adult. Also, ummm I liked how much Yul scolded Yechan, ah + that one time Yechan apologized by kneeling. Yechan is cute, esp his antics after the sexy dream he had about Yul, but I do think he's a bit too childish sometimes, so that's meh. Overall enjoyable but I didn't super connect with the story or the characters and likely won't be thinking about them again.

Enigma

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Aug 4 - 5, 2023

Watch Via: GMMTV Youtube

Watch Dates: Aug 7 - 8, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: I wish the wrap-up/ending was done better/explained a bit more like what was that Ajin possession thing? No Ajin past? Why did we redeem mother so easily? Who was the blurry girl in ep 1 (maybe Yiwha?)? I wish the horror aspect continued on cuz I think it was strongest in the first episode but not much after that. It's had me hetshipping and lesbian shipping (Fa/Namsine were literally soooo) and that's a good mark. Good after credits scene to pique interest for a larger story, hope we get a good follow up next year.

tags: enigma

Live Blogging: Enigma Live Blogging

Stay With Me

Country: China

Release Dates: Jul 7, 2023 - Aug 12, 2023

Watch Via: Viki (paid, so :>)

Watch Dates: Aug 11 - 14, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: Well, this is really as close as BL you can get without saying out loud that they are dating but there are innuendos galore and it's pretty clear (there was lube on their bed, like...). The family aspect was the best, I love that we got to see Su Yu's situation so much and his blended family and the way they were always there together. You can understand why Wu Bi prefers the warmth of their home over the coldness of his, though we got to see progress on that end too. Duoduo sooo cute, little munchkin. The ending is... an ending, that's for sure. Hope we get a season 2 next year but who knows.

tags: stay with me

Live Blogging: Stay With Me Live Blogging

No more BL this month, it’s Boys Planet time! Well, an exam first, then boys planet!

Boys Planet (Aug 19 - 30): I’m not logging/tracking this on MDL bc it’s a survival show, not a drama but whew, I don’t know how people manage to watch survival shows, especially live. Also not rating it because idk how I even would.

Many weeks of not watching a new drama, though I started and stopped watching a few 10-20 minutes in

October

GMMTV 2024 Part 1 Showcase (October 17 - 18)

This makes me want to actually watch something, even if it’s a short kBL or kGL

Completely Watched

Our Dating Sim

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Mar 9, 2023 - Mar 30, 2023

Watch Via: Viki (free)

Watch Dates: Oct 19 - 20, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: The pacing of this was so good, they managed to give everything needed and timed it well within 2 hours. Well written, well acted, well planned, well shot, nice. I liked and understood the main characters and even the side characters had distinct personalities despite not being fully fledged. I loved how Gi Tae and Wan were so playful with each other, whether it be with the teasing they did and playing hard to get but also the easy affection they often had whether it be kisses, pecks, tickles, hugs, hand holding, just regular romantic touching - a good balance between being strangely chaste and very raunchy. Was cute and I’m glad this is the show that I watched after not watching anything for a while but I won't think about them again, probably.

tags: our dating sim

Live Blogging: Our Dating Sim Live Blogging

Sing My Crush

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Aug 2, 2023

Watch Via: iQiyi (paid, so :>)

Watch Dates: Nov 18, 2023

Rating: 4.5/10

Overall Impression: It was... fine I guess, the plagiarism subplot had me invested because it was so frustrating (as it was meant to be) but I really didn’t care about the main couple. Their relationship and interactions did nothing for me. Also I’m shallow so either they needed to have more chemistry or needed to be more attractive to my tastes for me to enjoy watching it rip. I literally skimmed so much of Ep 4 - 7, especially skipped over the main couple interactions and watched to see the plagiarism issue get resolved.

Be My Favorite

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: May 26, 2023 - Aug 11, 2023

Watch Via: Youtube (free)

Watch Dates: Nov 23 - 30, 2023

Rating: 5.5/10

Overall Impression: It is such a tragedy that despite looking forward to this show for so long and enjoying some aspects and moments, ultimately, it fell flat for me. I feel like a lot of this show was objectively done well like the character arcs and acting and stuff but I'm not attached to any of it. The romance didn't make me feel giddy even though I really wish it had like it's strange that I didn't care at all about all those cute moments Kawi and Pisaeng had or the established relationship montages when usually they're some of my favourite aspects of a BL. agh whatever ig at least the show didn't treat Pear terribly.

tags: be my favorite

Live Blogging: Be My Favorite Live Blogging

#tracking #general bl #enigma #stay with me #our dating sim #be my favorite

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hils79 · 1 year ago

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Hils Watches He's Coming to Me - Ep 2

I suspect I am going to get a lot of amusement out of teenager who died in the 90s is experiencing modern day life after being trapped in a cemetery for 20 years

Than is going to be a lot of help I see 😂

Still not over how young Ohm looks. This was only made 2 years before Bad Buddy!

Wait do ghosts sleep? Oh, didn't he have a dream in the last episode? How interesting.

I'm sure that's Yacht on the right but he's not credited as being in this drama 🤔

GASP! A girl! I know her from 2gether. Which I really need to watch the second series of at some point.

Wait, that's not Yacht. It's Sing! Aww Tod. I miss Not Me I should do a rewatch at some point. Still my fave Thai drama.

Okay, I love her. Also she deserves a boyfriend who she can be herself with.

Not these three though because I'm pretty sure Prince and Golf are dating each other and Than is (presumably) going to have a ghost boyfriend very soon.

Okay, maybe Prince is actually in love with Prai not Golf. Well, I suppose every BL has to have one straight couple.

Noooooo they're too cute

Apparently ghost powers lets him clone food? Handy.

I'm pretty sure the internet existed in the 90s. We definitely had it at home before I went to uni, and the uni definitely had it. It was incredibly basic and slow but it was there. Aww who else remembers Netscape Navigator?

Why are you using a microphone when there's like 20 students in your class?

I like that Mes is tutoring Than and Than is teaching Mes about the world online. Adorable.

OMG how is he bored when he has the whole internet at his fingertips? So many books! So many movies! So much music!

Aww he ditched his friends to go on a date with his ghost not yet boyfriend

Oh my god I want one

Ooh he kicked a bag! So sometimes he can touch stuff that has been left as an offering!

Aww this reminds me of Ghost when he's practising flicking the penny

Wait if he only just learned how to touch things how was he using the computer earlier?

Ooh he recognises Prai but he doesn't remember why. The mystery continues

Ah I don't think it was Prai he recognised but her uniform

#hils watches #hils watches he's coming to me #hils watches tdramas #he's coming to me #tdrama

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dangermousie · 3 months ago

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To me, late 00s-first half of 10s really were the best kdrama period in terms of stuff I love. I usually was avidly following multiple airing kdramas obsessively. Now, it's lucky if I get one.

I mean, I finished ep 12 od CH rewatch and they had the promo for their about to air drama after and it was:

Yup, Warrior Baek Dong Soo with Ji Chang Wook and Yoo Seung Ho, which back then I remember thinking was a nice drama I enjoyed but not likely to be a huge favorite with so many amazing other kdramas that year but if it aired now, it would be grabbing me more than 95% of other airing kdramas and appeal to me more.

You mentioned unbalanced OTPs this year but I can't even agree or disagree because I dropped the vast bulk of kdramas I've tried in 2024 without getting anywhere far enough to have an opinion!

I am however very tired of the trend of perfect, 2D men solely existing to worship complicatedly flawed (or sometimes just flawed) women. It is not any more fun to me than a Victorian novel with complex men and unrealistic women there to exist to be angels for the men. I want there to be some complexity and some angles to both people in my pairing. And I don't want the relationship be because the writer said so and generically type X should like type Y, I want to see specifically why these two people go for each other. It's not that an uneven relationship on screen where one party is way more desperate/invested cannot work - see for example Empress Ki, where for the bulk of it Togon was way more invested than Ki who had other things going on - but the thing is it requires even better writing than an even couple to explain to me WHY the person investing more is doing so, and explaining it in a believable fashion.

And dramas rarely bother doing this nowadays, in part because not only would that require good writing (something that's always been at a premium in every industry and every time period) but in part because ep number cuts have been so drastic, there is no time - Empress Ki after all was 51 eps! Or Something Happened in Bali, which was also lopsided in different ways among the triangle, was 20. When you have 8 eps or something else equally horrifyingly short, you don't have much time for character development, especially if you need to fit in some plot, so the first thing that goes is complexity. Just make the ML (usually it's the ML because the target audience is female) obsessed with FL for no reason and you don't need to waste time setting things up. Think Perfect Marriage Revenge and Marry My Husband, both of which dramas I enjoyed, but ML's fixation on FL in both of these really made no logical sense whatsoever and was one of the most unrealistic things in an insane story.

It's not just MLs who suffer from it of course - I adored Goryeo Khitan War, but the King's eventual favorite queen was very much a "virtuous devoted queen who loves the king because he's good" stereotype but at least GK War was a drama 90% about war and politics with any romance being so barely there it might as well have not existed, so it wasn't much of a distraction. It is very much a distraction when romance is the center or an important part.

I still get kdramas where the OTP makes perfect sense to me and not just because the writers said so (My Dearest and Moon In the Day last year come to mind, or Lovely Runner this year) but it's rare.

This became an epic digression so I am gonna stop. I am however going to end on saying that one of the things that is great about City Hunter is that I get why it's Nana for YS and nobody else, no other plucky agent will do, and why it's YS and nobody else, no other handsome taking care of her man will do.

The scene where YS rescues Nana and stares Undaddy down, covering Nana with his body so Undaddy would have to kill him to get to her is everything. I love Nana going 'wasn't this your father?' and whatever it was she didn't understand about YS and the monster his 'daddy' is becomes crystal clear to her then.

I love how she tells him not to rescue her if she is in danger because she doesn't like if he's hurt because of her - this is action Gift of the Magi because he no more could give up trying to save her than not breathe. This is going to sound odd but his losing his temper at her because he's scared for her is a good sign - it means shields are down and he can show he's scared or angry.

Meanwhile Undaddy muses that YS lost it when his nurse died so they should just make him like that again. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE YOU FUCKING SCUM OF THE THE EARTH UNDADDY!!!! I have no words. So, what, he wants to make it seem one of the targets killed YS' nearest and dearest? I guess that would explain why he didn't kill Nana in front of him - then he'd be the target of YS' rage. I want the ghosts of his comrades to strangle him from the grave.

I love that she won't let him put up walls and that she will talk out what bothers him (which is, how can she think he will be OK if he doesn't protect her). I love it when she tells him she knows every day is hard for him and he's in pain so she doesn't want to add to his burden - his eyes - he still can't get used to someone putting him first and thinking about what matters to him, what makes him happier. And then she adds she will make herself stronger so she can protect him. OMG.

She can turn even the worst days cheerful...

I love how she sticks to him like glue after, in his car and similar. He so needs her, badly, for his sanity and happiness but she needs him to be happy as well and it's a rare drama OTP that feels even.

#kdrama #city hunter #warrior baek dong soo

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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years ago

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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Ep 17 part one

(Masterpost of all the rewatches) (Canary’s pinboard of original content)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Inaccessible

Wei Wuxian hides in a boat among the lotuses next to a pier in Lotus Pier, the second-most-literally-named home in the show, after The Burial Mounds. This pier has a railing that goes all the way around it, without any ladders or anything. Not to be ADA on main but this means if you can't Jedi jump, you're fucked.

Hefeng Liquor

While Wei Wuxian waits and tries, not very successfully, to keep his shit together, he hears the guards talking about the local booze that they're going to drink at their murder victory party. We learn, in a desaturated flashback (that OP has done her best to resaturate), that this is lotus-infused wine invented by Wei Wuxian during happier days.

He kicks the flashback off with his favorite activity, Unnecessarily Erotic Beverage Drinking. (gifset) I’ve slowed this gif down so we can all appreciate the unnecessariness. The way his hand caresses that leaf OMG

Hopefully he is not drinking lake water out of that leaf. Side note: How is it possible that Xiao Zhan doesn't have a drinking water endorsement deal? I had to resort to Zhu Yilong's brand of water for this gag. I figure if it's good enough to pour directly onto a lightning burn like they do in The Lost Tomb Reboot, it's good enough for a leaf hummer chastely drinking out of a leaf

(more behind the cut!)

In his memory, Jiang Cheng tells him to stop fucking around and come help with the basket of lotus pods. Wei Wuxian responds by grabbing one for himself and then sitting his ass down and not helping. Cause he’s a motherfucking P.I.M.P.

Emotional Rescue

Wen Ning arrives on the pier with Jiang Chang, to Wei Wuxian's extreme relief. Look how much emotion Xiao Zhan is able to convey even with half of his face hidden, my lord.

Wen Ning carries Jiang Cheng on his back, in an echo of other significant piggyback rides in Wei Wuxian's life.

Wei Wuxian's relief is at war with his fear, seeing his brother in such bad shape. Remember, these are cultivators, who heal quickly and mostly don't get their asses beat this hard. The only time Wei Wuxian has been comatose was after the Xuanwu cave, and that was probably because of his prolonged contact with resentful energy/Yin iron.

Hibernating Zidian

Wen Ning gets ready for his first, but not his last, boat ride with an unconscious Yunmeng brother in it. He tells Wei Wuxian that Jiang Cheng is pretty fucked up but isn't dead.

Then he gives Zidian to him. Before we talk about Zidian, let's talk about BAMF Wen Ning. Wen Ning is an awkward goofball. He’s also insanely competent at just about everything--wine-drugging, dude-smuggling, corpse retrieval, dog acupuncture, drug pushing. As well as shooting rocks out of the air and, later, beating zombie ass, and resisting mind control. .

This is the foundation of their friendship; it’s not actually about Wei Wuxian being nice to the weird kid. He initially sought Wen Ning out for the same reason he sought out weird kid Lan Wangji--his martial skill. He accepts his weirdness and is protective of him because of his missing-spirit problem, but he did not befriend him out of altruism.

Wei Wuxian is so forgiving that he can smile fondly when looking at the weapon that whipped the shit out of him a couple of days ago.

Wei Wuxian puts Zidian down right next to Jiang Cheng's hand and...nothing happens. It doesn't recognize him or spark to life. This didn't seem meaningful when I watched it the first time, but rewatching...yikes. It KNOWS.

Wei Wuxian admits, with tears in his eyes, that there is nowhere safe for him to go with Jiang Cheng, and Wen Ning immediately offers care and shelter. Even though that is putting his own life at serious risk.

Life obligation is a common theme in CDramas. It’s often something a person chooses as a way of showing love. Guardian builds an eternal romance out of two people saving each other’s lives over and over. But accepting the obligation is a choice (in fantasy dramas, if not in real life). Love and Redemption has a gloriously harsh sequence where a life is saved, and the save-ee cooly rejects the saver.

Every time Wen Ning saves Wei Wuxian, he cites that one time that Wei Wuxian saved him from the water demon. And Wei Wuxian cites this rescue right here when he throws everything away to save Wen Ning. Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng doesn't acknowledge any debt to Wen Ning at all, only--grudgingly--to Wen Qing. And people are ok with that.

Basically all this is to say that I think Wen Ning leans into this life debt because he loves Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian leans into it because he loves him back. Non-romantically, I think...at least on Wei Wuxian’s part. YMMV.

They go to pick up Yanli from their Granny, telling her to go into hiding. She starts to cry, not knowing how she'll manage on her own. Wei Wuxian tells her that they will come back, as Wen Ning looks super unsure about that.

Of course Wei Wuxian can't know, at this point, whether they will come back. Wei Wuxian always wants to make everybody feel better, and sometimes you really can't make someone feel better except by lying. He compulsively says shit that he thinks people want to hear, almost as if he was beaten frequently and arbitrarily as a child.

Wen Ning is doing his best for the recreational boat ride industry, as he rows the Yunmeng trio through some amazingly beautiful scenery.

Core Melting Time

Meanwhile, back at Lotus Pier The Yunmeng Supervisory Office, Wen Chao is hung over, Wen Chao is angry, Yawn

For some reason, Wang Lingjiao has suddenly decided to talk to Wen Chao in the most cloying and annoying way possible.

Also, the fact that she still addresses him as Gongzi when she is totally fucking him is kind of great. This is like those fics where Elizabeth Bennet calls Mr. Darcy "Mr. Darcy" even when they're married and hitting it.

Wen Zhuliu demonstrates why he's called Core-Melting Hand, by punishing the wine guard. He's able to melt a guy's core by grabbing him by the throat, and also picks him up, Darth Vader style, for extra meltyness.

All that stuff I said last time about Wen Zhuliu feeling ambivalent about being a villian...yeah, he seems to have gotten that right out of his system.

Chilling in Yiling

Wen Ning is doing his best for the recreational carriage ride industry. Wei Wuxian, after presumably several hours in the cart, decides that now is a good time to get curious about where they are going.

Here we start to see a new side of Wei Wuxian. Before this he was carefree, other than specific worries about his friends. He confronted danger with lightness and humor, or with temporary fear, that he let go of once the danger passed. Now, after all the deaths and seeing Jiang Cheng so injured, he's twitchy, anxious, and angry.

Very, very angry.

When he realizes that Wen Ning has brought them to the Yiling supervisory office, he goes off, demanding to know whose home this was before the Wens took it and grabbing Wen Ning and shoving him into a decorative...decoration. He thinks Wen Ning brought them here to harm them.

I wouldn't have thought such a pretty dude could be so menacing, but holy crap.

The way he's confronting Wen Ning here is not his normal style. He's not trying to provoke a bigger fight like he usually does; he's not trying to create distance, the way Jiang Cheng does. He's very intimate, getting right in his face and maintaining eye contact. He trusted Wen Ning and feels personally betrayed.

Shy little Wen Ning is remarkably calm when confronted like this. Wen Ning really isn’t afraid of anything, despite his general air of nervousness. (Full gifset of Angry WWX over here.)

He calmly and kindly explains the situation. He doesn't appeal to Wei Wuxian's trust, saying "oh I would never;" he appeals to his logic, which gets through to him.

Wen Qing comes out and the guards start banging on the door and Wei Wuxian flips out again, grabbing a sword and pointing it at Wen Qing as she decides what to do. Wen Qing seems unruffled by Wei Wuxian's sword pointing, and we see her weighing up the situation.

She makes her decision, sending the guards away and deciding to help the fugitives, officially joining the Clear Conscience Club. She could probably get Wen Ning out of trouble by turning them in, but she opts to put personal loyalty and her belief in her own ideals ahead of her family's safety.

Wei Wuxian is not ok. He’s just not ok. He tries to act like it after they get settled in with Wen Qing, but he's not, and I think that plays into his next several choices.

Next comes a whole sequence of Jiang Cheng being unconscious with pins in his head--ow--while Wei Wuxian twitchily tends to him.

This sequence is kind of unfair to Jiang Yanli. What matters to the story here is Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian's relationship, so that’s the focus of these scenes. But really, there is no way Jiang Yanli would not be at Jiang Cheng's side unless she was literally unconscious herself. Let's assume Wen Qing stuck a needle in her to make her rest while she has a fever. Shippers should also feel free to assume that Wen Qing spent hours at her bedside, tenderly wiping her forehead and holding her hand as she recovered. In his sleep, while Wei Wuxian sits by his side, Jiang Cheng calls for his sister, mother, and father, but not for his brother. Ouch.

Let's pause to appreciate Wei Wuxian's new outfit, which is the sort of getup most people in this society probably imagine Yiling Laozu wearing, rather than the low-key homespun stuff he actually spends his Yiling year in. This robe has fancy shoulders, shiny material, touches of Jiang purple, strange red hoody strings, and a fuckin' CAPE. He didn't bring any luggage with him from Lotus Pier, although he's still got his Yin Turtle Sword hidden in a bag of holding. So the most likely explanation is that Wen Ning hooked him up with this lewk. "Wei Wuxian is a nice person. He should have a magnificent cape."

Wen Wing and Wei Wuxian take a breather to stand on the porch and work out what their status is with each other, like a couple of fucking adults, which is amazing. Basically Wei Wuxian is ready to forget earlier Wen shenanigans, but is going to avenge Lotus Pier.

Wen Qing isn't enthusiastic about that but doesn't argue, just asking, mostly rhetorically, if he plans to kill her too. He's uncomfortable considering that; the role of avenger isn't one that's comfortable for him, although he turns out to be extremely good at it. He does not, of course, plan to kill her too. In a few months, imprisoned in a Wen dungeon, she will be the only Wen left alive after Wei Wuxian 1.5(No-Gold Edition) and Chenqing come to visit.

Jiang Cheng finally wakes up, and the first thing he does is to test out his spiritual power by hitting Wei Wuxian as hard as he can.

DUDE.

Look at Wei Wuxian's face, as he goes from happy, to shocked and hurt, to laughing it off. It's exactly like when Jiang Cheng shoved him in the Rock Lady temple. Has Wei Wuxian spent all of his years with Jiang Cheng going from affection, to hurt feelings, to pretending it's fine? God, I think he probably has.

This episode raises a question that will come up again later, but never be answered. That question is, what the fuck are these weird footies and why the fuck does Jiang Cheng wear them to bed?

Jiang Cheng reveals that his golden core is gone, that he can't cultivate any more, which means he can't avenge his parents or achieve any ambitions in life. Nobody has apparently given any thought to why Wen Zhuliu is called "Core-Melting Hand" before this, which is hilarious, frankly. If I fought with a guy called, for example, Brain-Eating Mouth, I think I would make certain assumptions about him and what he planned to do with my brain.

Something interesting is happening in this moment, because as he comes fully back to consciousness, Jiang Cheng pours out all of his trauma and horror to his brother, telling him about the core melting and practically wailing about his feelings over it all. And his brother understands, and ultimately finds a way to help him. What does Wei Wuxian do after his own trauma? Keeps it secret, so nobody finds a way to help him, although many people try to. So Jiang Cheng is, in this way at least...emotionally healthier than Wei Wuxian? That's unexpected.

Jiang Cheng is super upset and is mad at eternal scapegoat Wei Wuxian for saving him. Jiang Cheng would rather be dead than be a regular person. Whereas Wei Wuxian, faced with the same problem, is like, *shrug* I’ll adapt. These are both valid emotional responses to suddenly becoming disabled. Losing a golden core is definitely a disability, in this environment; it's not just about magic sword fights. Jiang Cheng's home is designed for people who can fly; Lan Wangji's home is designed for people who don't feel cold, and Wen Central is made of actual lava, for example.

Jiang Cheng is already struggling with a lot of difficulties. He was raised by shitty parents, he's got anger management issues, he has a crushing weight of responsibility. And now he's also lived through the deaths of most of the people who matter to him. If sword cultivation is the one thing that gives him joy in life (ok one of two things, obviously fashion also gives him joy because he WORKS it), he can't reasonably be expected to rally when it's taken away.

Oh, honey. Oh, baby boy.

Wen Qing picks the worst moment to come in and tries to tend to Jiang Cheng, who starts off being devastated that the girl he likes is seeing the wreck he's become, and then moves along to helpless rage when he remembers that she's a Wen, and he screams at her to get out.

Jiang Cheng is not able to put personal loyalty ahead of clan loyalty like Wei Wuxian is. Partly this is his nature, and partly it's his role as the lineal descendant of the clan leader. As a firstborn son of a gentry family, his destiny as clan leader is in his blood, and so is his responsibility to the clan. When Wei Wuxian praises Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen for caring less about bloodlines than about shared ambition, he is speaking from the position of someone who's bloodline ain't shit. Jiang Cheng will never be able to share that perspective.

Next: More of this excruciating episode!

Writing prompt: The Day I Discovered I Could Melt Your Fucking Core, by Wen Zhuliu Drabble prompt: Why I Wear Socks to Bed, by Jiang Cheng

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #the untamed gifs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #wen qing #wen ning #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs #the untamed spoilers

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pineforphantompain · 3 years ago

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My 2021 in Dramas

A little late but here is my Asian drama wrap-up. I didn’t watch much, but it was a pretty good year anyway. I finished most of what I started and nothing I watched was really bad.

Last year I started with a film section, but this time I only watched one movie:

Bungee Jumping of Their Own (2001) Rating 6.5/10

Currently Watching 2021 dramas:

Now We Are Breaking Up 4/16 eps (yes I have fallen very behind)

School 2021 6/16 eps

Completed 2021

(Starting with those carried over from 2020)

True Beauty 6/16 eps previously watched. All my love to Kang Soojin. Rating: 7.5/10

Cheat on Me, If You Can 2/16 eps previously watched. This was something. Whether a good something or a bad something I don’t even know. Rating: 7/10

Mine 16/16 eps watched. Female centric dark melos! LBY and KSH were fantastic. Something was missing though that kept me from loving it and I’m not sure what exactly. Rating: 8.0/10

Law School 16/16 eps. I liked it well enough. I enjoy an ensemble cast, and legal/crime plots combined with more slice of life elements. Good, but fell short of great. Also when thinking of what I watched this year I consistently forgot about it. Rating: 8.5/10

Nevertheless, 10/10 eps. It was fine, enjoyable to watch and had one fantastic side couple. Han So Hee pretty. Didn’t like the end. Rating: 7.5/10

The Devil Judge 16/16 eps. I can’t deny it was good, but I didn’t love it like most people seemed to. Good cast. And Sun Ah was gaslight gatekeep girl boss excellence. Rating: 8/10

Other things watched this year:

The Musical (2011) 2/15 eps. Sometimes you’re just struck by the desire to watch early 2010s SBS dramas. Started but then didn’t have much time to watch and got sidetracked.

Nail Shop Paris (rewatch) 1/10 eps. I really wanted to rewatch but then I didn’t have time and was getting behind on airing (higher priority) dramas. The mood has sort of passed, but I’ll probably watch this mess again sometime soon anyway. Rating: 4.5/10 (I love it but it is Bad).

Completed from “on-hold” backlog:

White Christmas (2011) From when I was doing well finishing partially watched shows the end of last year. I finished this early this year, but then failed to continue the trend. Rating: 8/10

Hope to watch in 2022

Rather than a long list of all the titles I plan to watch (and probably won’t) I’m making a more reasonable list of goals this year.

F4 Thai

(Rewatch) Judge vs Judge - because I’m a normal well adjusted person I’m still very attached to this mediocre drama. (Update from when I started this post: I am watching it and I’m just as obsessed as I was the first time).

Watch to completion three 2022 dramas (I actually started Snowdrop in January, so that should mean two others).

Watch at least 3 movies (other than for school).

Finish at least one on-hold drama.

In addition at least something of these:

Watch a classic sageuk

Finish watching White Lies - this is a daily drama from like 2008-9 that I was loving, but it disappeared from where I was watching years ago and I could not for the life of me find it anywhere until I thought to search for it again recently and found that it had been uploaded elsewhere only a few months previously. So now I’m eager to pick it back up, but it’s very long so idk when I’ll actually watch it.

Watch any PSH drama I haven’t finished (Sisyphus, MotA, Heartstrings).

Watch something with Kim Haesook (that is not a rewatch).

#drama year in review #yes it’s late but who says I can’t post a month into the next year #in my défense I wrote most of it out like halfway through the month lol #2021 drama recap #asian dramas #tv #kdrama #ignore me

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stanharu · 4 years ago

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beastars episode 24 thoughts!

this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one

Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.

this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.

so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.

also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime

before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.

legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.

also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo

it says "high quality horse meat"

I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.

I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.

i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao

it says "devour yahya"

and now... here we are... the predation scene.

overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(

tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.

also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭

I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.

seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.

big pomeranian

anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.

before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that

baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.

i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction

tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!

the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.

BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️

the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.

we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.

ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.

if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.

i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.

like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?

adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.

if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.

#beastars #beastext #legosi #legoshi #louis

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lilydalexf · 4 years ago

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Elizabeth Rowandale

Elizabeth Rowandale has 16 stories at Gossamer spanning from 1995 to 2012, plus she has more at AO3 (other fandoms too). She's been giftng the fandom with stories for a long time! I've talked about some of my favorites of her stories before, including Hallways and Water's Edge. Big thanks to Elizabeth for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Yes and no. When I find myself suddenly caught up in a fandom that has already lived its glory days (which happens a lot, I'm habitually late to the party), I am always ravenous for fic written during the original run - it always has a different perspective and voice and it's like a little bit of the experience captured in time -- so I can understand how others would be interested in my past. That said, some of my early stuff is pretty awful. LOL. I have left it online for two reasons: 1. Nostalgia, 2. I know there are some fics I've read in my life that may not have been the best written in a literary sense, but just had something magical about them that fed exactly what I needed. And I would hate it if the author took down that work and I could never find it again (which has happened). So I try to respect that same sentiment should it appear in one of my readers. I'd say by about 6th or 7th season of the original run, my work became presentable. :) My largest X-Files work ("Water's Edge") was begun during the original run and completed about a year after the show ended. That one I definitely still claim as my work, even though there's certainly stuff I would fix if I were writing it now.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

So many things! Let's start with my husband. :D I met the love of my life on the X-Files newsgroup in spring of 1995. We were married a year later, and we are still married 24 years later and have a 20 year old daughter. One of the most important friendships of my life came from being part of this fandom - she began as an "Edgehead" during the original posting of "Water's Edge". The fandom brought me my family, friends, and made me believe in myself as a writer and, in some ways, as a person worth being friends with, for the first time in my life. It's kind of crazy, really, how different my life would be without it. The experience was not without its flaws. There was a lot of judgementalism, a lot of cliquishness, a lot of snobbery. I was condemned almost as much as I was welcomed. But in the end it was all worth the life experience.

As far as the fic itself, X-Files was my first real experience with fanfic, and it thoroughly spoiled me for all other fandoms forever, because the sheer VOLUME of professional quality work being put out there was mind-boggling. I expected all fandoms to be like this, and the fact is this is extremely rare and precious. I think I could read X-Files fic for the rest of my life and never run out of pieces worth reading.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I started out primarily on a.t.x.c.. Then progressed to mailing lists (especially Scullyfic/E-muse!), and later was very involved on The Haven. The Haven was quite a magical experience.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

I think I answered this by over-babbling on the question above. :D But ultimately, I think I would have to say my belief in literature as a tool to connect people on an intimate level that almost nothing else can. To give people a brief moment of sharing their precious internal worlds and inviting someone else to step into it with them.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

Really, it was inevitable. It has all the classic tropes that have always spoken to me - Supernatural horror, law enforcement partners, partner UST, misfits as heroes, haunting soundtrack. But amusingly enough, my first impression of it was negative. My mother and I had been religiously watching "Sightings", a FOX reality show (before "reality shows" were a thing) on the supernatural. Then that got cancelled and they replaced it with some show that was about fictionalized encounters with and investigations of the paranormal. And we were like WTF we don't want that, we want real investigations and evidence! So I didn't watch it out of protest. :D Then one night I stumbled upon it when I had nothing to do and watched "Lazarus". I thought the show was okay, but that I could never really get invested in it because there was no real chemistry between Mulder and Scully (yes, you can laugh me out of the room now :D). But the thing is, you can't FIND the significant moments in that episode unless you're already embroiled in their world. Like when Mulder calls her "Dana" on the phone and we all know he's panicking big time -- this was my first episode, so I assumed he always called her Dana, no big. Some time passed, then I saw Conduit. And Tooms. And I started to get really sucked in. Then I saw Genderbender. Now, if you know me at all, you know since I was about 6 years old, my life has revolved around my current muse. I get obsessed with a certain actress/performer/character, and that becomes my lens for the whole world (yes, at 6 it was Lynda Carter as Diana Prince). I have always moved from one Muse to the next, and the few times I've been without a focus person I'm very untethered and unproductive. So, I'd been in one of my longest dry spells following my Madonna and Vivien Leigh obsessions, mostly focusing on reading Dean Koontz books, when X-Files came along. And this obsession was unique in that I can actually pinpoint the moment I fell. I was sitting in my bedroom watching Genderbender, and they were outside the general store and Scully had just been touched by Brother Andrew and was a little tripped out and staring after the horse and cart when Mulder stepped up to see if she was okay, and...I actually felt myself falling for Gillian Anderson. And there was this moment of both elation and bittersweetness, because I knew how all-consuming my obsessions could be and the emotional rollercoaster they could entail (especially when I was younger, I'm a little better armored now :)). But I have no control over when and where they hit. But I knew by the end of that episode that I was off on another wild ride of the muse. :)

So, the short answer is -- Gillian Anderson. :D

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

Truthfully, I can't experience anything without writing fanfic in my head. I've been doing it in one form or another my whole life, I just didn't know until the X-Files (and the internet) how many other people were like me!! I started writing X-Files fic before I was even online. In fact, The X-Files was the reason I got my first internet service - because the fandom was moving online and I didn't want to miss out. I read my first fanfic in the Unofficial X-Files Fanclub monthly zine and it fascinated me. I wrote my first X-Files fic, a first season story called "Silent Lines", before I had ever been on the internet, and I had it published in that same fanclub newsletter. (I was already writing original fiction, hoping to make writing my career). Later, after I had joined the internet XF community, I wrote a post-ep to "Irresistible" that I posted online. That was my first online fic. Some time after (and a few more fics down the road) when all the rights to "Silent Lines" had reverted to me, I posted that online as well.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I dabble now and then. :) When the reboot came about, I came back to the old stomping grounds and reconnected with some of the Old Guard. I still have a fair amount of pretty Mulder and Scully on my Twitter feed, and I continue to follow all Gillian Anderson's new projects. But it's not my primary focus at the moment. (My serial monogamist muse has another lover this year. :))

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Several (Stargate, Sanctuary, Xena, Battlestar Galactica, Once Upon a Time, etc.). As I mentioned before, almost none of them had anywhere NEAR the quality and quantity of fanfic The X-Files has to offer. The closest I experienced was the Xena fandom. There are some AMAZING Uber fics and Conqueror fics, many of which went on to be published as original novels. Some fandoms were colder and more cruel than The X-Files. Some were warmer and more generous. I was most prolific during my years in the Stargate fandom. I wrote something like 80 fics. It was crazy. I don't think I'll ever be that prolific again.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Just from anything? From television Dana Scully, Stella Gibson, Laura Roslin, Sharon Raydor, Regina Mills. I love powerful women with scars. Kind women at heart who will fight for what they believe in and whom they love. Mothers - whether in actuality or at heart. I love women who prove strength and power can be completely synonymous with femininity.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

A couple of months ago my husband and daughter and I finished a complete X-Files rewatch (original series and movies), taking our daughter through it for the first time. It was awesome to re-experience it all through her eyes. She grew up hearing about it, but had never seen more than a handful of episodes (and, sadly, the reboot LOL).

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

Every now and then I indulge in X-Files fic, yes. Sometimes new stuff, most often revisiting old favorites.

I definitely read in my current fandoms. For a few years I didn't, but lately I've been at it again. Right now my primary muse is Mary McDonnell, so I'm obsessing over her various roles through the years. Been reading fic for "Major Crimes", "Dances with Wolves", "Battlstar Galactica", "Passion Fish", and "ER" (specifically pertaining to Eleanor Carter).

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Of course. :) Mish's "No Quarter Given" will always own my soul. [Lilydale note: It’s a 3-part story: 1, 2, 3.] "Black Hole Season" by Penumbra, "Above Rubies" by Rachel Howard, "Blinded by White Light" by DashaK, "Sounds of Silence" by GirlGone, "Blood Oranges" by Syntax6, "Absolute Zero" and "Never Enough" by August. So many more.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

From X-Files, I can't really choose between "Water's Edge" which took the most out of me) and "Bridges" (which I wrote just a couple of year ago). I wrote them from very different places and I am proud of what I accomplished in each case. YMMV.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Never say never? :D I still feel badly that I left the sequel to "Water's Edge", "High Tide", hanging after posting just a few chapters. I never should have started it. My muse jumped ship to another fandom, and there was really nothing I could do. And I'm such a different person now, I don't know if what I would write now is what people who loved the first book would actually want to hear. I came back with the reboot and wrote "Bridges" and that largely said everything I needed to say about what happened to Mulder and Scully after "I Want to Believe". So, realistically, that was probably my XF writing swan song. But I would never say I won't ever post another fic. As the saying goes, "It all comes back to the X-Files". (And, yes, there's PLENTY of half-finished fic on my hard drive. LOL)

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I do. Now that my kid is grown, I'm trying to seriously pursue a professional writing career from here forward. And I do still dabble writing fic in my current fandoms. Right now there is a Major Crimes fic sitting on my hard drive waiting for me to work up the nerve to post it.;)

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Once I'm inside my POV character's head, the narrative in my brain won't shut up. I flesh out and what-if everything. I fill in every moment that doesn't appear on screen. I talk to myself a lot and live in my head and sometimes scare family members. I get some sort of orgasmic high from things like seeing Laura Roslin grasp and tuck into her own hair when she's crying while my inner voice screams "OMG IT'S CANON SHE SELF-SOOTHES WITH HER HAIR!!!!!" I maintain a surprisingly sane outer presentation for the crazy obsessed artist I am within.

What's the story behind your pen name?

When I began removing my real name from the internet (for you young folks, we all started out using our Real Names and building our virtual houses on Geocities, then got warned from everywhere of the scary scary place that is cyberspace and started NEVER EVER using our real names, then Facebook came along and now everyone and their dog is out there with their real names, and Gen X is still going WTF ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!??), I simply chose what I found to be a pretty last name (Rowandale). Elizabeth is my real name. Along the way, when I had started to feel confined by expectations for my writing based on my reputation, I challenged myself to be more honest in what I wanted to write by using the mental trick of a pen name no one knew was actually me, and invented "Rowan Darkstar" (the darker "edgier" side of Elizabeth Rowandale). "Rowan" was taken from Rowan Mayfair in Anne Rice's "The Witching Hour", my favorite novel at the time. Later, I went public with the fact I was Rowan Darkstar, and when I moved into my next fandom, I did so with that as my primary name. I have written in most of my fandoms as either Rowan Darkstar or LadyRowan with the exception of anything else Gillian Anderson related wherein I carried over the Elizabeth Rowandale since there were many crossover readers from X-Files.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Many of them do, yes. For many years my mother was my primary beta reader!! Sadly, she now suffers from dementia and can no longer fill that role. My best friend came into my life through my Stargate and Sanctuary fic, so there's no hiding from her, and she is now my beta.:) My husband met me in the fandom. So...yeah, most of my close friends know.:) In my 'other life' as an Army wife (now retired) and suburban Mom not so much.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

The most reliable place is probably AO3. It doesn't have much of my older stuff, but I generally post anything new there. I'm Rowan_D on Twitter.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files?

No, you can't be red/green colorblind and be a field agent for the FBI. No, soul groups don't work that way, Scully would have been his lover in some lifetimes, too. Yes, someone with Scully's education and deliberate precision of language WOULD say "for whom?" and not "for who?", you are quite right to cringe. No, you can't drive to Quantico and back to downtown DC and have it still be morning. And lastly -- The Kansas town after which they modeled "The Rain King" is NOT brown, it is NOT flat, it HAS a regional airport, and the residents are educated and intelligent. I lived there at the time -- There was a whole layout in the local paper about the crew visiting for "authenticity." I still marvel at how that is even possible.

(Posted by Lilydale on August 25, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #elizabeth rowandale #xf fanfic author interviews

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caitlinsfandomthoughts · 3 years ago

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Watching Star Trek TOS For the First Time! Season 1 Reaction

I’ve been a TNG, DS9 and Voyager fan for maybe 10 years but had never watched TOS until I decided that I would. And then I realised I couldn’t live with the possibility of the internet not being able to know my incoherent rambling reactions if it so desired. Most of these were written the day after I saw them but with the early ones it was later so sorry if I don’t remember your favourite.

Season 1:

The Cage: Be still my beating heart why must number 1 leave the show? Why?! Imagine a world in which Majel Barrett got to continue to be her in the Star Trek universe instead of Lwuxana (sorry I don’t love her) and Nurse Chapel. She’s so beautiful I love her. And she gets to where pants and be the second in command. While the episode for sure has sexist moments it does seem like there was more of an actual effort to present to future as having gender equality. When you compare this to the ultra mini skirted version of the actual show, it does feel like executives went through it to make it more marketable. It’s been noted by others that she is quite similar to what Spock’s character became: the cold, logical one, while Spock smiles in this episode. While I ended up loving Spock I still would’ve loved to see a woman in that kind of role, especially in the 60s. Although I’m not sure she would’ve been treated that well.

So Vina can’t like, get medical treatment from Starfleet doctors who know how to put a human body together? No? We’re just gonna leave her there? She’s too ugly? She’s better off living in a fantasy world where she’s pretty? Ok then…

The Man Trap: I don’t even really remember this one so I’d have to rewatch it.

Charlie X: Charlie sees women and becomes an incel, Kirk has to try and teach him not to be. This is a decent goal that somehow culminates in a space boxing match. Kirk loses his shirt. Sexual tension is presumably resolved. Uhura sings.

Where No Man Has Gone Before: The pants are back. Man becomes some kind of god and Kirk beats him up if I remember correctly.

The Naked Time: This is where The Naked Now comes from. This one was less sexual, which is probably a good thing, and less drunk, which is too bad cause I love drunk Crusher and Picard trying to focus on work while their brains won’t brain. Highly relatable mood. This one is where the immortal line “sorry, neither” comes from, spoken by Uhura in response to Sulu calling her a “fair maiden.” According to the internet that was an ad lib and I so hope that’s true cause it’s amazing. Also according to Spock Sulu is a “swashbuckler at heart” which is cool and all but I wish we got to find that out by him actually being a character that we know the personality of rather than a background diversity guy who gets to say a couple of lines sometimes. Also each to their own but shirtless Sulu is infinitely more attractive than shirtless Kirk.

The Enemy Within: Bad. Women at Warp podcast said it best, it’s bad because they say the evil Kirk is still Kirk and is needed for him to be a good captain/person. This could’ve been ok if he didn’t do something so irredeemable, or they could’ve not had him be defined as a true and necessary part of Kirk, but you can’t have both and sell it as an ok message. Rand not being able to look at ‘good’ Kirk after really makes it feel real, her acting in general makes it feel too real.

Mudd’s Women: Women take beauty pills that make them have makeup on and men find them too ugly to marry without them even though they are still beautiful. Also said women were kinda slaves but don’t worry about it! *hand waves*

What Are Little Girls Made Off: I don’t know what the title has to do with the episode. This is the episode where Nurse Chapel is introduced even though she was in a previous episode. And she’s taken more seriously than I thought she would be. Kirk gets an android version of himself made by a guy who he already doesn’t trust and doesn’t predict that maybe that’s not a good idea. Apparently to make an android all you need to do is put one person and one dummy on a giant plate and spin them around real fast. If only the guy who wanted to take apart Data in Measure of a Man knew.

Miri: Problematic. I think the crush angle could’ve worked if it was one sided, but Kirk played into it and it was creepy, and you know, also manipulative, assuming Kirk doesn’t actually feel the same way and is using it to get her to help them. That’s my more charitable interpretation anyway. Also McCoy doesn’t know how vaccines work. Also this episode doesn’t know what puberty is, or rather when it starts. If the virus is supposed to get to you then, that starts round the preteen age. Miri is older than that even though she’s not an adult.

Dagger of the Mind: This was the first one where I was starting to quite like it and it was feeling a little more like Star Trek to me (I know this is the first Star Trek but there’s a certain way 80s/90s era Star Trek feels to me). I really liked the beginning where it was setting up this whole maybe prisoners become violent because of how the prison treats them thing and that it was challenging the viewpoints of some of the main characters, although McCoy was already team prisons are bad and I love him for that. It then went more into the lobotomising asylum type story which was still ok. The guy turned out to be a doctor rather than a prisoner which I didn’t like cause I wanted the prisoners to be humanised. Although you could’ve done a “see anyone, even ‘innocent’ non criminals can be turned violent with this treatment” but they didn’t really emphasise that.

The Corbomite Maneuver: I don’t remember this. Kirk playing poker with some alien I think. Edit: I’m been informed this is the one where the alien turns out to be a lollypop guild kid lip-syncing to an adult’s voice, which I do remember, and probably thought it was some kind of sleep-deprived fever dream.

The Menagerie Part 1 & 2: I laughed so much when they wheeled Pike out and I finally got the Futurama reference in Where No Fan Has Gone Before. I mean I obviously knew the whole thing was a Star Trek Reference, but I had never seen that specific imagery before and now the joke makes sense! Also Pike wanting to go back there seems kinda wrong. I mean they say he’s a vegetable mentally I think but he doesn’t seem to be? I can kinda get that he’s got more incentive to be there than Vina who could probably be helped by Federation doctors but also, he hated that place and spent the whole episode trying to get out of it and it doesn’t feel like a fitting ending for him.

The Conscious of the King: And here begins Star Trek’s love affair with Shakespeare. The only thing I have to say really is, if I didn’t mishear something… a father and daughter played Macbeth and Lady Macbeth? A married couple. And no-one thought that was weird? She was the daughter of a dictator though so there was an Ivanka Trump vibe.

Balance of Terror: Romulans. Spock wasn’t sure that they were related to Vulcans till this ep, though he suspected it. How far back did they split for it to be unknown? I like that the Romulans were sympathetic and we had scenes with them just in their ship from their perspective, and they had some conflicting views with each other. And I really like how Spock was suspected as a spy cause racism and of course he wasn’t and saved that guy cause he’s the better person. That said I found this episode pretty boring and I don’t know why. I kinda wish it turned into a witchhunt situation and was more about the racism on the Enterprise, kinda like The Drumhead from TNG.

Shore leave: Wtf was this episode?! And I don’t ask that because the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland showed up, or that it was a random holodeck planet episode, that’s fine. When the White Rabbit appeared I was just like, ok it’s going to be one of those episodes, that’s fine. Holodeck episodes are fun, I don’t even mind a random magic alien or two appearing for no reason to wreak havoc, say by making everyone larp as Robin Hood, that’s all Star Trek, that’s Star Trek doing a Star Trek, what I didn’t like is this episode goes nowhere! McCoy sees the White Rabbit, we’re off to a good start, Sulu “Swashbuckler at Heart” sees an old gun that he geeks out on, cool. Kirk sees some woman of course. Also there’s some guy fending off a tiger. Random female guest star of the week rather than letting Uhura be part of the story gets her uniform torn by some guy. Then she imagines a princess dress and if that were me as soon as I realised I could think things into existence I would just imagine all my dream clothes. Kirk imagines an old student friend who is attempting very hard to be Irish (thank you Colm Meany for saving us from this).

Anyway so the planets a holodeck cool. And I’m like, Spock should beam down, I wanna know what he’ll see, this is where the episode could get interesting. And then it happens, but nothing happens, they don’t even make much of a deal of him not seeing anything. But then I thought what if! What if Spock didn’t beam down and this was another imagination?! What if he was some alien with some ulterior motive OR better than that we get to see Spock as imagined by whoever was thinking of him. You could go down a very fanfic road if it were Kirk’s imagined or desired view of him, or maybe you could show different people’s perceptions and then they still suspect he’s not acting like himself even though it’s how they see him, but its not quite right, cause it’s not actually how he is. Or at least I thought they were going to find out what was going on. But NOPE none of that happens. Instead leprechaun guy shows up again and Kirk just wonders off to fight him for the next fucking millennium! The uniforms they wore at the academy seem like they were made out of better quality material than that of a Starfleet captain’s. Poor Kirk must be having to replicate new uniforms every other day. Then they laugh I think, and sexual tension is presumably resolved. Then the aliens show up and are like yeah this planet is a holodeck we thought you’d like it also McCoy died but he didn’t and I’m like THEY DIDN’T CONSENT TO THIS. But then they decide to party.

It reminded me of a Red Dwarf episode called Better Than Life where they knowingly go into a virtual reality game which is basically the same as this planet. But over time Rimmer keeps sabotaging what he imagines cause he hates himself so much his brain won’t let him have nice things. And it’s still a comedy, but there’s an opportunity for exploring the character’s psyche with this setup that wasn’t done here and that made it boring.

The Galileo Seven: This episode was good!! In contrast to the last one it delivered on promises it made, it had a satisfying ending, it’s probably my favourite so far. The whole time I was like this should be about how Spock can be wrong and logic isn’t everything to be a good commander. But given the quality of the previous episodes wasn’t that great and Spock was always right about everything I didn’t trust them to do that. BUT I WAS WRONG. I thought it would be about how just because you don’t have emotions doesn’t mean you can disregard those of the crew. But instead it was about how he couldn’t predict their enemy wouldn’t act based on emotion rather than logic. And then he admitted he was wrong and helped the guy bury the other guy, and then they were about to die and McCoy was like at least I’ve lived to hear Spock say he fucked up. And then Spock jettisoned the fuel so that it might act like a flare but it gave them less time and I was like no you’ve learned nothing! Don’t just do things that severe without asking your crew. But then after they were saved it was described as an act of desperation rather than anything logical and Kirk was like that’s an emotion isn’t it? You acted on emotion? And Spock was like well yes but I’m not gonna say it like that.

I like that emotion was good actually. I think it’s a fine balance between the message of its ok to be different and using Spock as an analogy for racism, and inadvertently neurodiversity, but also not buying into the idea that emotions = weakness and lack of emotion, or emotional repression = objectivity. Even if you don’t factor emotion into your decisions (which would be impossible unless you don’t experience emotions at all) it doesn’t mean that you don’t have personal biases in your perspective. So I’m glad Spock was wrong for once.

The Squire of Gothos: This is Q this is Proto-Q. He does all the same things that Q does; he shows up in clothes that are way out of date (and he thinks they’re from 900 years ago when they’re clearly early 19th century) and he flirts with the captain. Oh and he has powers, maybe they were computer powers, but not all? And he goes on about humans being brutal, warmongering people but he’s kinda into it. He fights Kirk but there was actual tension so it wasn’t annoying like the one with the Irish guy. And then it turns out he was just a kid exactly like the Futurama episode, except he is a kid not 35. I think him being a kid makes the flirting seem weird though.

Arena: Kirk and the Gorn at Tanagra. Kirk fights a lizard because aliens wanted to encourage them to not fight by telling them to fight. I thought maybe these lizards could be proto Cardassians but then I thought they can’t be they don’t talk, but then he spoke so I thought they could be, but then he was the one who was invaded and was only defending his people so I thought they couldn’t be, unless that was actually just lies and justifications in which case they definitely would be, but then that would undermine the message of the episode so I guess not. I wonder how many leaders have killed each other before these alien’s negotiation tactic actually worked.

Tomorrow is Yesterday: This was fun. There were a lot of twists and turns. I wonder if it was before or after the moonlanding. Every plan just makes it worse and more and more people keep getting exposed to the future. Kirk could’ve easily just closed the door and beamed back at the end but instead opts to punch like six people. (I think this is where “a woman?” “Crewman.” Comes from).

Court Martial: What if Kirk actually did it though? Would that be more interesting? Maybe. At least here he has an age appropriate love interest. She’s prosecuting against him which is surely a conflict of interest. AND she has a uniform with a longer skirt! And it actually looks good, like it looks like an actual dress that she can sit down in and it still looks like a dress and not a crumpled up shirt. It’s elegant but it’s still short. I could see this being an option (for any gender) as a dress uniform but it would still make no sense when they’re serving on a ship.

Return of the Archons: I am LIVING for Spock in a medieval style hood. It’s giving me Peter Cook in a Mother Superior’s wimple in Bedazzled vibe, it’s not quite on that level of beauty, but it’s close. For some reason Sulu returned from the planet in 18th century gear but then everyone else is dressed like it’s the 19th century, with some medieval robes thrown in, and this annoys me more than it should. Maybe it’s because he’s a swashbuckler at heart. Apparently they had a completely peaceful society except for the nightly purge they seemed to have going on that is never mentioned again.

Space Seed: KHHANN! I liked this a lot until the end. I want to know the lore behind Data’s Dad having his middle and last name. Edit: Actually only the middle name is the same and the last name is just similar. I still think there’s lore there (excuse the pun), probably he’s a descendent of his cult followers or something. The story seemed to be eugenics bad and also the type of guy to basically be a eugenics cult leader would be super manipulative and abusive but just charming enough in a relationship. It does a pretty good job of showing the abuse in his relationship with the historian woman, how he switches between being loving and I guess charming, and flattering to being abusive and degrading. I wish that the historian woman could find someone that she can explore domination and submission with consensually cause that seems like it would be what she really wants. Anyway but in the end they just let him go? Like he tried to take over the ship but they were like here have a colony. They compared the place to Australia when the colonists arrived at Botany Bay and that it could be... I forget what the word was but basically ‘civilised’ and No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE NO Australia was already populated and didn’t need eugenicist cult leaders who were demonstrably bad to show up make it ‘better.’ AND THEN the historian is given the choice to go with them and she does and its framed like it’s good? Or at least ok? When they just did a pretty decent job of showing how abusive and manipulative he was and she had redeemed herself by turning against him? So I get that they probably wanted to bring him back although they’re probably not gonna bring her back, but they could’ve easily had him escape instead.

A Taste of Armageddon: Suicide machines. I forget the rest.

This Side of Paradise: SEX POLLEN! Well it’s more fall in love pollen, I guess, for one character. There’s a woman and there’s the music and the soft focus and BUT WAIT then the camera cuts to Spock not Kirk! Because she has taste. It’s about this point that I think the ‘Spock’s the most popular but Shatner wants to remain the star so we’ll emphasise their character’s relationship thus inadvertently inventing slash fic’ might’ve started. It’s time for a love triangle! She makes Spock get the sex pollen, which is not getting consent, and then he falls in love with her and is climbing trees and is all happy. Kirk can’t get a text back from Spock. Then Kirk and two others get the pollen except Kirk didn’t, but he did, but anyway I thought everyone would be horny but they weren’t they were just brainwashed. Soon Kirk is all alone on the bridge, then he gets the pollen and is happy to live as a poly triad but then he gets angry and it’s gone. Then he calls Spock to the ship and approaches the situation in the only way Kirk knows how: Homoerotic punching! So they fight for not long enough and then Spock is cured but he’s a little sad, there’s sadness in his voice, it’s not quite so matter of fact. Then Spock’s gf gets sad and the sex pollen is gone too, Spock might still have feelings for her but he has responsibilities to the ship and “to that man on the bridge” which if he was saying to just mean once again the whole ship, and its mission and the captain in a professional sense, seems a little redundant, which would surely be illogical.

The colonists get sad that they haven’t done anything for years because the sex pollen made them unambitious but I would argue maybe the sex pollen was right and you were better off just vibing. This episode was more interesting and less silly than I thought the creator of sex pollen would be. At the end Spock says that for the first time in his life he was happy. While every other character could still easily become addicted to a thing like that they could at least know they would experience happiness or any feelings again in their life, for Spock it was going back to nothingness.

Devil in the Dark: Spock calls Kirk Jim which I don’t think he has before, when he’s talking over the communicator and he’s worried he’s in danger, there’s some actual fear or urgency in his voice. Also the moment that got me was when Kirk wanted to send Spock back the ship cause he didn’t trust him to kill the creature and Spock was like “but… I’m not really as useful there I am here… so…” If I was writing it I would’ve played that up more but anyway, I like that they didn’t kill the creature. I like that McCoy said the thing. And also said “I’m starting to think I can cure a rainy day.” He’s my favourite.

Errand of Mercy: It’s kinda becoming the Kirk Spock show now, I like the ship but I miss McCoy. I like that the passive pacifists who Kirk was so angry with were actually more powerful. And KLINGONS! Oh yeah the orientalism, the yellow peril, it’s… it’s there all right. They were played a lot colder here, a little Cardassian maybe, still bloodthirsty but I don’t believe this guy has to do it himself to feel honourable, he can kill for sure but he’s fine ordering someone else to do it and being a chessmaster too.

The Alternative Factor: God this one was boring. But it does have a man with the worst beard wig I’ve ever seen. Now he’s stuck fighting the bad version of himself or something to save the universe. So remember that when you’re watching later Trek series, all of this could suddenly be destroyed if one of them gets tired.

The City on the Edge of Forever: UHURA GETS TO GO ON AN AWAY MISSION! Aaaand she doesn’t get to do anything :/ The usual three go back in time! To the 60s again! Oh wait… that’s meant to be the 30s? Oh. That’s some tall hair that lady has for the 30s. But at least said lady is a character, she’s a little perfect but she does things, she has strong beliefs, she might be written a little idealised, but she is still written like a person compared to almost every other Kirk love interest. ��He says it (captain) even when he doesn’t say it” is an interesting line. So she has to die, I still think they could’ve just convinced her that you don’t make friends with fascists but ok. They never say what the Clark Gable movie is.

Operation Annihilate! Kirk’s brother dies, and so does his sister in law, leaving his nephew without parents. This is never resolved and the episode ends with them laughing about how Spock got his eyesight back.

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shinjaeha · 4 years ago

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itsay ep 5 (thoughts + spoilers)

i feel like i’m on a high that i’ll never come down from :))) the itsay effect. this show is truly a cultural reset.

first up, i just want to say that i have never been more worried about a final ep before IN MY LIFE. for the past couple eps, i’ve tried to watch them live raw, but for this one, i was afraid of spoilers (and wanted to understand everything from the first watch), so i waited for the vimeo ep to drop and let me tell you...that was both the longest and shortest wait ever...the excitement and the dread i’ve been feeling this whole week has been unreal.

as usual, this is not an analysis. tbh there’s prob going to be even less analysing in this one bc most of the time i was either crying or yelling at my screen (and i feel like this ep in general didn’t have as many scenes to analyse?). but god, i’m SO GLAD that they gave us a happy ending bc it would have broken me into pieces if i had to rewatch and recap this knowing everything had fallen apart for them (ecstatic that wasn’t the case, and my feelings from last ep on how things might go in this one actually panned out!!). after what went down in ep 4, i always thought that that was going to be the peak of the climax/conflict, and that this one was going to be much more of a healing ep...the ep that would bring more closure to each of the characters and their relationships, as well as wrap things up as a final ep should.

so the way this ep starts is actually kind of anti-climactic. esp after the intense emotions of what happened at the end of ep 4. which is understandable? like they were being petty teenagers angry at one another, but now it’s a few days later, and all those heated emotions have tempered down. they’re in that awkward stage where neither of them even know how to start approaching one another after the loaded feelings of the last ep (basically this is what happened to them when they were children. no one reached out, and they both drifted apart...only now they’re aware of what might happen if no one reaches out and it’s a question of whether they let history repeat itself).

oh-aew using the cue cards that teh gave him and being worried ;;; doing that thing that teh told him about writing something over and over again when he can’t say it out loud...teh deleting his line chat history ;;; i was torn with this one bc on one hand noooooo, but on the other, it could be representing them starting anew again?? ALSO, they always know how to make the most of the ost in this show (i think it’s the can’t translate/lost in translation instrumental?). i was literally shaking the first time i watched this.

i was actually very worried about how his mum was going to treat him after last ep...i thought she would be angry/ignore him, and i was feeling so anxious about it...maybe bc i personally know what that’s like. that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you’re scared of how they’ll react to you after a fight. teh wanting to make his mum proud is hugely important to him, so when she handed him the plate, i actually let out a sigh of relief. i’m glad that his mum understood and backed him when he needed it most (she may not be fully all the way there yet, but feelings are raw and it takes time). and i already knew hoon would, so i wasn’t too worried on that front.

tarn is so good for teh, and i really see why they were drawn to each other. but i like how she’s prioritising what’s right for her, and also telling him like it is. they need to focus on their studies now and figure out the other stuff later.

teh loitering outside the tutoring classroom before entering sort of reminds me of ep 1 when teh and oh-aew met up for the first time after their first fight...just this time it’s less straight up antagonism between the two of them and more hurt feelings as they avoid each other instead. i also appreciate the gang during this. they’re so normal and encouraging about the whole situation. they know something went down between teh and oh-aew, but they don’t really press too much about it. just let teh know that they’re here if he needs someone to talk to.

the ep 5 trailer played us!!!!!!! i was WONDERING why oh-aew would suddenly say all that nice stuff about bas (not that bas doesn’t deserve the nice stuff, he’s an ANGEL) in front of class, but their teacher was the one that put them up to it. the horror i felt as i watched teh look straight at oh-aew but turn to bless phillip instead and then start on that whole spiel about how phillip “never sees the good intentions of friends as worthless. never says ‘no’ to what friends give you” and how he’ll never leave him because of that. ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF OH-AEW’S SALAD...STOP TEH. PLEASE. he’s digging himself into this hole himself with the passive aggressiveness again. THEN BAS COMING IN TO STEAL THIS WHOLE SCENE. i don’t think any of us were expecting him to be as forward as he was but omg. he laid it all out on the line in the way that teh couldn’t (at this point in time). i’m really, really glad that oh-aew got to hear what bas thought of him though, and that bas got to tell oh-aew all his feelings. nothing is misconstrued. he’s so brave and the utter respect i have for him increased by tenfold...what a fantastic character. just so sure and convinced in how he feels, and so uncaring of what anyone else thinks. it’s so damn refreshing. and for oh-aew to know that there’s nothing wrong with him at all. that he’s desirable and wanted and loved (it calls back to ep 4 when oh-aew’s sobbing and desperately asking teh “what did i do wrong??” again and again). it must have meant so much to him. the conflict i felt in my heart watching that and knowing that bas would be SUCH a good guy for oh-aew, but also knowing that sometimes that’s just not enough.

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TEH’S REACTION TO ALL THIS. he’s truly facing the consequences of his actions in this one. but just imagine being in this position, being too scared to own up to your own heart, and then watching this other boy do it like it’s the easiest thing in the world?? like it’s just another regular day?? like it’s nothing?? all to the boy that you’re in love with. to the boy that wanted this exact thing from you, but you couldn’t give. it’s like teh’s watching oh-aew slip through his very fingers, but knowing that it’s bc he never had oh-aew in the first place (and the reason for that is himself). i also really love how no one in class (including their teacher) makes a big deal out of this? they’re all just applauding bc it’s a sweet confession. it would be so jarring for teh to see this acceptance when the fear of society not accepting his feelings for oh-aew is one of the reasons he can’t accept them himself.

anyway, i had like one thought in this next scene and it was just DRINK THE COCONUT TEH. DRINK IT!!!!!!! so nice to see how his fam loves and believes in him.

teh watching on as bas and oh-aew take the first step with their left foot :(((

LOVE how they use the firecrackers going off to represent anytime there’s some sort of shift in teh and oh-aew’s relationship (when they first met, when they had their first fight, and now again when they talk for the first time after the fight and oh-aew tells him teh that he and bas are dating now). it’s such a great way to symbolise the spark and passion of their relationship. anyway, this meeting mostly consists of the both of them trying not to cry as they act civil with one another and skirt around what happened. teh asking about what the deal is with oh-aew and bas is like a parallel with what happened last ep when oh-aew asked about teh and tarn...only this time oh-aew and bas are actually dating...man, this is really not the kind of news you want to hear right when you’re about to sit one of your most important exams ever :/// teh holding himself together until the moment oh-aew leaves and then just having a fucking meltdown over the news :((( as always, it just hurts to see teh torture himself in this way. but esp when he’s supposed to be sitting his exam and he just can’t stop crying in the exam room (been in that position and have almost done the same thing before). when he hadn’t finished his exam and they were like “time’s up, pencils down” the sheer panic i felt at this...ugh. i hate it.

the elation on bas’ face when oh-aew asks him out for chinese new year. he’s the cutest. THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST. and then when he holds oh-aew’s hand????? the boldness of it. he. just. does. not. care. i wish i had that sort of confidence!! oh-aew’s shock at this too. his realisation that it’s okay. that this is okay. and then bas being all “why would i be?” after oh-aew asks if he’s embarrassed. bas is literally giving oh-aew everything that he wanted from teh and more (compare this to that scene in ep 3 where teh and oh-aew grazes hands but don’t hold each other’s hands). he’s proud to be with him and to show the world. and, you know what?? i would do anything in the world for bas to be happy.

AND HERE WE HAVE IT. MY LONG AWAITED HOON/TEH HEART TO HEART. i wanted teh to tell hoon soooooooo badly, so to hear the words come out of his mouth...that his brother was the first person he told. i felt so relieved bc i knew that hoon would support him no matter what. the struggle in teh’s face and words...he fought so long and hard against ever admitting these feelings to someone else out loud that it would have felt so incredibly terrifying, yet also like a weight being lifted off his chest, to finally get them out there. to have someone else know his secret. and to know that his brother loves him unconditionally regardless. “if you like him, you go after him” THE WAY I SOBBED DURING THIS. i really loved what hoon said to teh. he didn’t sugarcoat things and say that everything was going to be fine if teh liked boys too. not every single person you meet is going to be okay with who you are, that’s just a fact, but i loved that he emphasised to teh that HE was okay with it. it’s just what teh needed to hear. and that it might take their mum some time to accept it too, but all she truly wants is for teh to be happy. just the feeling of hearing his brother, someone that he very clearly looks up to and respects, tell him that he can like whoever he wants to like?? that it’s all up to him and he’ll still be there for him whoever he wants to be with?? teh sorely needed that and i’m glad he got it. hoon encouraging him to go fight for his love!!!!!!! i was cry laughing at how teh just starts bawling his eyes out at hoon telling him to go after oh-aew, but then teh telling him that it’s too late for him bc he likes someone else. like from hoon’s perspective, he’s prob just like ‘this is so needlessly dramatic’ and the sibling energy during that whole part is too real. i love them.

watching bas/oh-aew with the rest of the gang and their respective girlfriends really makes you realise how open and accepting they all are. like teh was terrified in the scene just before about how his friends might not accept him and oh-aew, but then you see them here with bas/oh-aew and no one even cares (which i expected bc they’ve been supportive since day one, but it’s just nice to see in practice too). oh-aew teasing them all ahhh. cute. phillip being the relatable only single guy there (me at every gathering i go to with my relatives omg).

THE PIANIST PLAYING SKYLINE. they really wanted us all to be SAD sad huh, and they succeeded. how it pans to oh-aew and this song is yet ANOTHER reminder of teh...you know he’s thinking about cape scene where they were singing and translating to one another. on the day they made their promise to each other :( and teh being there too??????? all alone with his bowl of oh-aew on the table. feeling the exact same heartbreak that oh-aew’s feeling too :( it’s the way that so much of their relationship is beyond words for me. but they’re also both hurting so much that i just want to push them together and make them talk so they can clear everything up.

hoon talking in cute japanese to nozomi on the phone while teh goes through oh-aew’s old worksheets and cries I HATE IT HERE. i love the different ways in which teh has smelt oh-aew’s coconut scent since ep 2. how it evolves from curiosity to desire to him heartbrokenly reminiscing, every feeling changing with the shifts in their relationship.

can i just say that oh-aew’s parents are ADORABLE. but also, finding out exam results is the worst kind of anxiety. was so happy that oh-aew got in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he worked his ass off for this :’))) teh not getting his first pick wasn’t altogether surprising bc it did feel like they were leading up to this. but when he apologised to his mum about it ;;; noooo, she’s so proud of you. as someone who’s been through this process before (and didn’t get my first pick either), it always feels like it’s end of the world when you don’t get the uni pick that you want, but it really isn’t. still, it sucks when you’re in the moment there’s no denying that. but i get that it’s also particularly sad for teh since he’d already basically gotten his first pick before he gave it up for oh-aew. but again, it’s all part of the learning process, and the consequences for his actions.

BAS BEING BEST BOY EVER YET AGAIN. how he knows exactly how oh-aew feels bc he feels it too, but he never imposes those feelings on oh-aew. he knows that oh-aew’s heart isn’t with him, can’t be when it’s with someone else, and bc he cares that much about oh-aew, he guides him in teh’s direction. it’s never a good idea to date someone who’s hung up on someone else, but i’m glad that they tried at the very least. the both of them did what they could, and oh-aew needed to experience it to know. i’m really glad that bas was there to make oh-aew realise how worth it he is too...and bas deserves someone that loves him back just as much as he loves them. seeing bas cry is the worst experience ever. 0/5. never want this ever again thank u. their hug scene was just devastating, and worse still bc it’s not anyone’s fault...you just can’t help how you feel, and that’s just the way it is sometimes.

idk why but for me, the scene with tarn was possibly the hardest scene for me to watch in this ep. it’s interesting how he’s wearing the shirt that oh-aew was wearing in ep 3 in this scene (with the bold ‘sunset’ lettering). i guess it symbolises him being ready to open up about his feelings on where their relationship is heading? either way, she’s a great friend. she’s so encouraging, and understands him and his ambitions to a tee. the both of them are always filled with such fierce determination. they just know what they want and go for it. but that’s also why these past couple eps have been all the more confusing for teh since he’s always been so sure of himself before. how she tells him that no one can take away his identity and that no one can take his dream away from him?? all these characters just knowing exactly what teh needs at the right time. she’s so incredible. no wonder teh is so scared of losing her as a friend. it’s great that he apologised for how he treated her last ep bc it’s def the least that she deserves. that being said, watching her heart get broken as teh tells her that his feelings for her have changed and asking if they can still be friends...like damn, that fucking hurts. there’s something in tarn’s face in this scene that stays with me every time i watch it, and it’s that heavy feeling of knowing that the opportunity is missed. they had the potential to have been something, but it’s slipped by now, and now they can’t go back to those initial feelings anymore. too much has changed. but it’s also that she, like bas, values teh’s happiness too much. values their friendship so much that even if she’s heartbroken, she can still overcome those feelings of heartbreak bc she cares for teh so deeply and wants to see him happy. despite the pain she’s feeling, she still encourages him to make the first move and talk with oh-aew bc she knows that oh-aew is who makes him happy. anyway, we already established this in my last rant text post for ep 4, but i love tarn with my whole heart and only ever want her happiness too. the purple hibiscus in her drawing for teh was like a final stab to the heart :(((

what i love about bas and tarn is that neither of them are the bad guys in this situation. this drama has no outright antagonist, and a lot of the time in BLs (even in standard dramas in general) that’s what the secondary love interests are used as...a hindrance for the main couple to get over. but the both of them are written (and acted) with such respect and care. it’s really hard not to fall in love with them too. the real conflict and antagonism mostly comes from within teh himself, so this series is his own journey to overcome that. a true coming of age story.

oh-aew in his uni uniform!!!!!!!!!!! cue me constantly chanting “come through, teh” over and over as oh-aew passed the restaurant hoping to see him. and I KNEW HE WOULD. not me bursting into tears as soon as they show him following oh-aew on the motorbike ;;;;;;; he loves oh-aew too much, and this was too important, he was never going to back out on this promise. i mean, he gave up his uni spot for oh-aew so he could keep this promise. technically, if you think about it, it worked in a roundabout way bc teh giving up his place was what made oh-aew decide to do the admission exam again...and better still bc he got into his first place uni all on his own accord. he proved to teh that he could do it like he always wanted to.

love that teh pushes the good luck coconuts onto oh-aew too, like his mum and brother always do for him. it’s cute. when they go to the temple again, and the significance of it being open this time so they don’t have to sneak in anymore????? my heart is FULL. another thing i love is how teh’s kind of behaving like how oh-aew did in ep 3?? being flirty?? almost toying with him?? like that part when they’re drinking the coconuts together, and he sort of slides backwards drinking the coconut, eyes not leaving oh-aew before bouncing away. that’s an oh-aew move okay. and, as always, teh encouraging oh-aew when he’s down bc the sun isn’t out. rival and inspiration. i love them more than words could ever describe.

skyline instrumental is legit the perfect song bc sometimes when you listen to it, it can make you feel like you’ll never be happy again, but then other times (like when they’re walking to the tip of the cape), it’s like a shot of pure hope to your chest. that shot of them going through the trees and right into the open space of the tip of the cape with the sun shining all around them was BEAUTIFUL. the freedom of it all, of no longer being constrained. seriously, these shots of the two of them standing in front of the golden glow of the sun are just *chef’s kiss* so stunning. cinematography on point (but when did this show ever fail me on that front).

“when i gave it, i really gave it to you” I’M NEVER GONNA STOP CRYING. i literally cannot watch this part without getting choked up and/or screaming. they’ve missed each other so much, and it’s piecing the broken bits of my heart after the last 4 eps back together again. THEY’RE FINALLY TALKING.

okay i really have to talk about this scene when oh-aew asks teh “how about you and i?” bc of the war flashbacks i’m having back to the last time this question was asked and how disastrous that turned out. it’s in how oh-aew asks it and reads teh’s hesitancy as teh thinking the same as he did last time...oh-aew’s fake smile (the same smile he put on when he asked teh how things were between him and tarn and teh told him they were pretty much the same) when he thinks that teh still isn’t willing to acknowledge he likes him back. it’s how oh-aew is willing to accept ANYTHING from teh...whether he wants to be friend or a rival...whether teh likes or hates him...as long as teh stays in his life. he’s willing to accept whatever teh wants to define them as bc he’s just missed teh so much and can’t stand to be away from him. and it’s like this is what finally clicks in for teh. that restricting himself this way is only ever going to constantly hurt the both of them. teh finally saw past himself, and realised what this meant to oh-aew. it’s like he’s finally looking at oh-aew and seeing what oh-aew needs most (has always needed most), and that in turn helps him gain the courage to say it out loud bc the love he feels for oh-aew (and for himself) is ultimately stronger than any fear he has about society not accepting them. it’s such a beautiful scene. after pushing back at himself and his feelings time and time again, he can’t deny himself anymore. his character arc has come full circle ;;; everything teh’s done in previous eps for oh-aew has shown how much he really loves and cares for him, so it just makes me happy that he released his breath and let himself be happy. it’s all i ever wanted for him.

the amount of tears i shed at teh asking oh-aew to be his boyfriend...i knew teh was very likely going to give in to his feelings for oh-aew at this point, but this was even more than i expected. that was so SMOOTH. oh-aew bursting into tears after that...SAME. then the hug in the sunset WITH the new ost song. and that last shot of teh’s handwritten full pages of ‘love’...they did the MOST with this and i’ll never ever ever be over it.

then the part 2 announcement!!!!!!!!!!!!! after so much angst, i can barely believe we’ve been given so much in such a short space of time omg. i love how teh’s tie is red and oh-aew’s tie is blue for their respective uni uniforms. ADORABLE

i know everyone was afraid (myself included) that this was going to end sad from the get go. from the trailer to the ost, we were all TERRIFIED bc realistic shows like this often end in heartbreak. we’re so used to it. but i saw someone describe itsay as a love letter to the lgbtq+ community, and i totally agree. it could very well have ended tragic/sad, but instead they subverted our expectations of the traditional ‘bury your gays’/sad gay ending we’re so used to and gave us a story that showed us that there’s realism in happiness too. there are so many struggles and hardships that lgbtq+ people have to go through bc of the world that we live in, but they CAN be happy too. this post that nadao tweeted of teh crossing out the lyrics of skyline and writing “let me set my own destiny“ instead is SO powerful, and shows the immense character growth he’s gone through over the course of the series. it made every single tear that i have shed for this show completely and utterly worth it.

i’ve mentioned this multiple times before, but i’m so grateful to nadao for giving us this drama. literally one of the best dramas that i have ever watched in my entire life. i’ve never felt so passionately about a show before, or been so attached to the characters and their relationships. everything about it...the directing, the writing, the cinematography, the acting, the soundtrack, EVERYTHING has been set to such an impeccable standard i really don’t know how, or if, i’ll ever get over it (prob not). i know i’m not the only one that thinks so, but it’s truly a masterpiece. i hope it sweeps all the awards bc it’s the least that it deserves. moreover, i’m so happy that their story isn’t over bc this cast of characters are some of my fave characters ever and i genuinely cannot wait to see more of them in march next year :’)

#i told sunset about you #itsay #so thankful we still have the documentary for the timebeing!!!!!!!!!!#i need more fill of this show before i have to await the drought #anyway this took longer than expected and i know it's a mess but it was harder to contain my feelings into words with this ep #mostly bc i felt TOO much #so sorry if it's just more run on sentences than usual #rewatching this was me pausing to cry ever five mins love that for me #text #i'm super excited for part 2 but i'm also worried a little bc if they're in uni now it would most likely be set in bangkok #and i'm gonna miss the phuket setting so much #i have faith in the cast and crew to create something different for us though so it'll be interesting to see how they do things #with a very similar setting to most other BLs...like how they change things up #and i know they can bc the writing and directing in this were in another league so i'm feeling hopeful

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quincywillows · 4 years ago

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normalize not having watched any bmw besides the first few episodes of the first season (lol i watched all of gmw when it was on air though)

like honestly, honestly, it’s true. bmw is not at all one of those shows where i’d be like omg everyone should watch this, and at this point i’d be like well if you just want a mindless comedy with (sometimes) enjoyable characters it’s worth trying but maybe not worth powering all the way through. like i genuinely think season 1 is an enjoyable show, but the issue is that the show tonally is kind of all over the place in its 7 season run. season 1 is very much a “this is a family show” kind of vibe and it feels that way, whereas jumping into season 2 its like it enters puberty and they’re talking about like sex and hooking up (as seventh graders. like. they’re 13 and there’s MULTIPLE eps about sex) and that’s not to say that 7th graders don’t have those convos but the tonal shift from the first season is just so incredibly jarring.

and that’s one thing that was good about gmw, is that because of the network it was on (disney channel), it at least had a very clear and strict tone all throughout the series. it was made for preteens, and it would always remain geared towards preteens. like genuinely as i’ve been rewatching i have thought to myself multiple times i can’t believe disney paid for a reboot of this series based on this -- yes i know it was wildly successful for the 90s on its own merit for whatever reason, but the fact that it is riddled with casual sexism and misogyny also begs the question as to why we thought it was a good idea to have that team write girl meets world... a show about... a teenage girl... -- and then piled on top of that the fact that there’s a notable amount of sexual humor which as we know is not disney channel’s aim.

i know gmw has been getting a lot of flack basically since it ended, like basically every year on twitter former stans find something new to drag and get it trending so they can all hate parade together (and i have my theories as to why they do this beyond the general human instinct to think everything you liked in your youth is “cringe” and feel the need to tear it apart -- i think most of them who are still tearing it down 4 years post-mortem are compensating for the nasty behavior they exhibited during their time in that fandom and feel so self-conscious and embarrassed about it but don’t know how to process it so they’re taking it out on the show itself instead of copping to their own personal missteps), but in general, i think gmw is like. fine. its decent, it is enjoyable for its target demographic, and it maintains its tone, intent, and messaging throughout. also, to mj’s credit, i think the positive messaging of like friendship, what’s important in a romance, etc. is much clearer and well-packaged in gmw than bmw despite the issues it had (especially the “what’s important in a relationship” angle, bc lemme tell you, ct are insane and like the worst example of a couple yet are constantly said to be “the ideal couple” to the point that its baffling; i much prefer the themes of gmw where conversation, communication, and compromise are stated as the key components to a relationship rather than just We’re True Love At 15 Mom).

long story short, i think you have the right idea. neither show is like a Must Watch moment in television, but if you maintain realistic expectations -- ie this is a disney channel show for preteens -- gmw is genuinely enjoyable and an easy watch in spite of its flaws. bmw is worth watching the first season for, maybe a handful of eps from the 5th season (“and then there was shawn” is genuinely one of the funniest eps), but otherwise is completely skippable and irritatingly misogynistic underneath the nostalgia glaze. so you’re not missing much at all.

#i really cannot BELIEVE. CANNOT believe that certain shippers #acted like mj was some literary genius who was planting deep meaningful plotlines and secret endgames #and BASED THAT BELIEF ON 'the writing of bmw' like... BMW WAS NOT SMART EITHER #there is no hidden messaging here. there's barely messaging #people are FOR REAL delusional. cult brains out there i swear #also literally cory is so misogynistic its unreal the amount of times he says some shit #and i just roll my eyes. like u cant be real. why does any woman on the show like him #AND SO MANY GIRLS FALL FOR HIM. ITS UNREALISTIC!!!!!!!#anyway #tv gabs #boy meets world #girl meets world #Anonymous #ask and you shall receive

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baegarrick · 4 years ago

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Have you considered a Zukka soulmate AU where you feel the same pain as your soulmate does... I'm both very in love with and absolutely terrified of the concept [thinking emoji]

YES ok so there’s a post about it actually (i couldn't find it so its prob in my queue) that I’ve seen which was very funny (it involved katara going “sorry sokka we have to beat you up to slow down zuko” and advancing on him with a bat) + I think there’s actually a fic in the Zukka ao3 tag (that I haven’t actually read, I was just browsing it yesterday)

I have some THOUGHTS that ended up being long bc im incapable of being succinct so here they are:

I’m a little picky on soulmate aus bc so many of them just don’t follow common sense + take away the concept of free will (I like the idea of this person being your perfect match, but what you do about it is up to you, rather than the ones that are like “you’ll meet this person at this exact time which means that you WILL be in a place that you can meet them” which kinda takes away the concept of free will, you know??)

+ soulmate aus are notoriously difficult to make long because the idea is that you’ll get along with them because they are meant to compliment you, so fics that have them argue for NO REASON don’t work bc... why??? if you want the soulmates to not get along at first, or NOT want to be soulmates, they have to have a pre-existing relationship that would make them not want to be soulmates..... like your soulmate being your ENEMY and the ENEMY OF YOUR PEOPLE and the PRINCE OF THE FIRE NATION or like...... u know, a water tribe peasant whos harboring the 112 year old avatar

ANYWAY-- I think this soulmate au concept has the potential to be a long fic IF you’re willing to do a show rewrite bc this is one of those ideas that would be difficult to figure out at first and also difficult to accept!!

ok so, I'm thinking this would be from Sokka’s POV, bc we see him and Katara first and a majority of the show is centered on him and the Gaang. (alternatively, you could do switching POVs to also show Zuko)

you’d have to catalog every time Sokka gets hurt (+ severity) and also Zuko’s injuries (arguably more important from Sokka’s POV bc he feels them), but when Sokka gets hurt you have to throw in Zuko wincing from the injuries and subtly showing him reacting to the injuries in a way the reader notices but not Sokka (irony, anyone??)

[minor interruption: what are the rules for this universe? is it just pain you feel? is it as sharp as your soulmate’s real pain, or is it more of a phantom pain from the blow? does it fade, or does it linger? how severe does the pain have to be to feel it? feeling all their minor feelings would be incapacitating difficult, so im thinking it would have to just be actual pain, like if you were hit on the head and it throbs or if you get a paper cut, not just like minor friendly punch from a friend *cough* toph *cough*. also-- is it just pain or injuries too? if your soulmate is stabbed, do you bleed too?-- I’m thinking more the phantom pain bit. you feel the sharp sting of a paper cut, but when you look, nothing is there. did you imagine it? you suddenly feel a blow to your stomach and double over, but nothing touched you. your friends look at you weird, and you know your soulmate must be an asshole bc people punch them all the gd time!!]

ok so: sokka doesn't notice at first. the first fight he gets into with his soulmate is in the south pole, and he’s fighting a guy. he gets tossed into the snow, he can’t land a blow (and if the guy he's fighting feels anything he doesn’t show it, he’s a better soldier than that). but when he does!! the boomerang comes back and hits the guy on the back of the head, and he winces involuntarily. He thinks its a sympathy wince/pain bc he’s been hit by his own boomerang before.

when zuko is covered in a shock of ice, sokka shivers. [ngl i don't remember all their injuries, its been like a month since my last rewatch]

(aang figures out real quick katara is his soulmate. he takes one look at this BEAUTIFUL OLDER WOMAN and has to pinch himself. she yelps and socks sokka, telling him to cut out pinching her. he does it three more times for posterity.)

it takes a couple of meetings of repeated exposure that Sokka finally gets it. he’s not stupid, he just never would have ever considered that his soulmate might be fire nation. he only realizes it after being paralyzed by june’s shirshu and seeing zuko wince in the same spot. he’s too paralyzed to react properly, but Zuko isn’t paralyzed, and he doesn’t seem to realize it (it takes him ages to figure it out, actually, bc he doesn’t pay any attention to Sokka at all, actually.)

he tells katara and aang, who laugh themselves silly. that is actually the funniest joke you have ever made, sokka, katara laughs. yeah, good one, sokka! aang says. sokka gets mad and asks if katara remembers when he was 12 and dad had just left and he stumbled into the snow screaming one day like he’d been burned, clutching his left eye, but there wasn’t a mark on him? how the phantom pain had faded quickly, but unlike all the other minor cuts and bruises he had felt his whole life, he remembered this viscerally. it hurts sometimes, for weeks after that. this sobers her up quickly. it had been hard to understand for her, because she had never felt a thing in her life from her soulmate before meeting aang.

katara asks him to prove it, and sokka throws up his hands, because zuko isn't here, katara, can’t punch myself in the face to see if he reacts!!

but before he has a chance, zuko has an assassination attempt on his life. sokka wakes up screaming in the north pole, like the time when he was twelve, and the pain quickly fades, but like the burn on Zuko’s eye, this pain ebbs and flows and comes back. the healers can’t heal a phantom pain, and tell him that his soulmate has gotten into some serious trouble. (sokka tells them he wants to absolutely murder zuko which is difficult because someone else is trying to do it first!!!)

he doesn’t even have to punch zuko to show katara and aang that zuko’s his soulmate, the injuries that sokka had felt show that off pretty well, when he shows up at the pond with the moon and ocean spirits. but none of that even matters, because he kidnapped aang’s body, the moon is gone, and Sokka can’t even leave his stupid soulmate in the snow to die like he would very much like to!! after yue’s gone he doesn’t even want to think about zuko

ok im too lazy to go through the eps looking for a good place that zuko might realize sokka’s his soulmate, bc tbh he doesn’t pay too much attention to sokka (meanwhile, as their main enemy, zuko gets a lot of attention from sokka)

its possible!! he doesn’t even notice until they’re at the western air temple. sokka gets a vote because zuko’s his soulmate. zuko’s just like. what. what? WHAT??????? and sokka’s like, oh good, he didn’t even notice!!! i’m taking back my vote!! I think we should throw him off the side of the temple!!!!!!

there's a lot of teasing from everyone. toph punches him a lot and says “its for zuko”. and then keeps doing it, loudly, when zuko’s at the air temple, embarrassed. (when toph is mad at sokka she punches zuko even when sokka’s right there. she wants them both to suffer.)

katara struggles a lot during this whole thing with how often Aang gets into fights, but she grins and bears it because she’s strong!! she can handle it!! and she knows that aang likes her and would try to protect himself more (and therefore protect others less) if he knew how much it was hurting her.

forgive me for this small essay i just have a lot of Thoughts all the time and not a lot of motivation to write real things

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bethd0456 · 4 years ago

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hellooo lovely! i loved reading your response to my last ask - apparently tumblr is messing up my asks bc a lot of them haven’t been going through :( but let’s hope this one does! i’ve been seeing that you watch cherry magic, and it’s one of my favourite shows at the moment!! 💘 who’s your favourite character? mine is kurosawa personally, i relate so much to him and his gayness. also udon chan, the cutest little cat! what did you think of the last ep, wasn’t it so cute!!! (1/2)

i hope you’re doing well!!! i also wanted to ask what your favourite shows and ships are! i already have a vague idea formulating just by browsing through your blog and over our shared love of cherry magic, but i’d looove to hear your thoughts and your favourites!! wishing you the bestest day! 💘 - your secret santa (2/2)

Hiiiii!!!! I hope life is treating you well!

Omg I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it! I hope you're ready for this MASSIVE answer and you don't get too bored reading this one!

CHERRY MAGIC!!!!!! It instantly became a comfort show for me, as it did for many others!

ADACHIADACHIADACHIADACHI. Adachi is 100% my fave. I never fully understood what a comfort character was. I was like, "yeah! I love Tine also!" But. Adachi is the definition of comfort for me. I see so much of myself in him! Everyone sees him and is like "babie. Must protecc." And honestly? Me too. How can one character be so damn CUTE??!?!? One of my favourite moments is him seeing Kurosawa after the almost-kiss. He just like, sees him, and gets so panicked 🥺 the way his arms just flail about makes me smile like an idiot.

But like, on a deeper level, this drama makes me believe I'm worthy of love. The idea that someone like Kurosawa could be THAT infatuated with you, even though you're an awkward virgin lmao. The point of watching these dramas is to get lost in a story, right? See a situation you want so badly but you know will never realistically happen? The entire premise of the show is just really enticing to me. I am Adachi, Adachi is me. Also, the thing he said in ep6 about not having a clear dream in life? Yeah. I felt that. I'm so envious of people who have passions they work so hard for, it gives them a form of purpose. Like Adachi, sometimes I feel like I'm living in a "daze". I feel like I don't really have any specific passions or skills that I want to develop into a career. Sometimes I just wish I had ambition. Adachi makes me feel so seen and like I'm not the only person who feels like this. The kinds of characters that usually make good protagonists are characters with a clear goal/passion. In most shows this obviously really works, but I can never relate to them personally. It's really special for me to see a character who's similar to me in this way.

Kurosawa is such an amazing character too!!!!! His gay little heart 🥺 on another level, he's just so?? Respectful??? 7. YEARS. 7 years of pining and he holds himself back so well!! He's been waiting for this relationship for so long but is so patient, willing to take things slowly for Adachi. He flirts shamelessly (as he should) but never to the point where Adachi was too uncomfortable.

He cares so much about Adachi :(. But also, even before he liked Adachi, he could tell he was uncomfortable with the drinking thing, so he DOWNED the wine lmao. Clearly he's just a lovely person all round who's really socially aware.

As for other characters:

• Udon my baby!!!! The cutest cat ever!! I love animals sm :(((

• Tsuge's chaotic energy is iconic

• Minato a lovely little dance machine :))

• Rokaku deserves the world, my excitable kiss interruptor :(((

• Fujisaki my love! She's so soft and cute!! Also ace coded how iconic

I ADORED ep8!!! I LIVE for established Adasawa! Adachi coming out to Tsuge :((( I'm so proud of Adachi coming to terms with his feelings and being confident enough to share his relationship with his closest friend. Coming out is not easy and he did so well 🥺

Adachi and Tsuge are so useless bless them 😂 Kurosawa really said "well I guess I have to take these two socially awkward disasters under my wing." Adachi and Tsuge are such a chaotic duo, I love that they can communicate just by touching each other, and omg when Kurosawa said his name Tsuge was "wait maybe I know everything about you already" and if that isn't friendship idk what is

Also Kurosawa making up a poem in his head about Adachi???? Peak romance. Also iconic. I'M A SUCKER FOR HAND HOLDING SCENES SO I DIED. "I like him. I like him. I like him!!" HOW CUTE CAN YOU GET FJKHDSHSKSK

I also got another arm flailing moment when Kurosawa almost got the wrong idea about Adachi and Tsuge!! CAN ADACHI STOP BEING SO CUTE MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT. How on earth his boyfriend is still alive I have no idea.

There are so many other shows and ships I love. I feel like I'll probably miss some, but here we go. These aren't rankings at all, just like, lists lol.

Show list:

1. 2gether

This show means so much to me. It was the first time I watched a bl week by week and it made it so much more special?? I valued scenes so much more than when I binge shows and they would like, look at each other and I'd have a heart attack. They made the first part of my quarantine bearable bc I always had something to look forward to every Friday. I actually really enjoyed quarantine overall as an introvert (not to be insensitive about the literal deaths the pandemic has caused), but I really enjoyed constantly thinking about how long it was until Friday. I'm massively emotionally attached to all of the characters in this show you have no idea. Every single one. The found family of it all,, the way all of the characters have relationships. Still2gether did a phenomenal job of showcasing all of the unexpected but very welcome dynamics and relationships, platonic and romantic alike. I could blabber about this show for so long I'll spare u for now

2. YYY

Is it well written? No. Did I enjoy it anyway?? You know it! I told you how much I love the found family trope. UGH. THIS FAMILY. Also, seeing the feminine side of the LGBT+ community represented positively warmed my heart. There needs to be more bls that do that! Celebrate femininity!! There's nothing wrong with being camp as fuck! It's so much fun!!! This show made me so happy :))

3. Start up

I'm currently obsessed. It's my first Kdrama and holy shit this is what the hype is about. The budget!! The acting! Top notch. On a sad note I really wish bls got that much funding behind them. My heart aches for a complicated story with fully developed characters and plotlines, that just happens to have a gay main couple/character. Wishful thinking for now at least. Anyways, I'm massively emotionally attached to Halmeoni and Jipyeong. Team Jipyeong all the way (even tho Dalmi's obviously gonna end up with Dosan, and I'm happy for them!). All I need is a happy ending for my darling Jipyeong. Please give him one. Also, if anything happens to Halmeoni I will WEEP.

4. Cherry magic is obviously here but I've ranted about that enough already 😂

5. 3 will be free

I would never have expected gmm to make a series like this! But they went and did THAT. Wild. It was such a healthy representation of a poly relationship. The themes of feminism were so well handled and powerful, the chemistry was off the CHARTS, I was hooked from start to finish! Time for a rewatch? I think so.

6. Feel good

Not an Asian drama, but still gay as FUCK. It's written by my wife Mae Martin who also stars in it, and I have to say, it blew me away. Story time!! My friend irl recommended it to me without saying it was Mae, so I was like "okay sure I'll put it on my to watch list I guess" without much motivation to watch it. But as soon as I found out it was Mae I watched it and I've never looked back lol. Once I finished I sent my friend a splurge of messages about my feelings. The series touches on issues like addiction, sexuality and gender. "I'm not a boy. I'm not even a girl. I'm like a failed version of both." That shit HURT.

There's a scene near the end which has really stayed with me. So Mae's character is a comedian and she does a set making jokes about the stuff that happened in the series and oh my GOD. The way I CRIED. It made me realise that people who make jokes about their experiences are using humour as a coping mechanism and when people say "Haha I have daddy issues isn't it funny" we have to remember to be respectful. It's never okay to make jokes about someone else's trauma. Don't make a big deal of it but just don't be a dick.

Anyways I could go on but would 100% recommend this series!

7. HIStory 2 crossing the line

My first bl! This series is the reason I'm so obsessed with bl lmao. The main couple are so soft :( this little series will always hold a special place in my heart!

8. Sotus

My first gmm series, we've come a long way. I miss Kong and Arthit :(

9. Dark blue kiss

Such a brilliant series. I trust P'Aof (director) with my life. This series touches on issues that are so important and deserve to be talked about so much more in bls. This is what happens when you let LGBT people tell LGBT stories! They do it with such care and love!! One of my favourite lines is "I may like men, but I'll never like your brother." One of my biggest let peeves is "I don't like men, I only like x." Like, I get the business behind it, they don't want to make the character gay to make them available for girls to fantasise about. Which is disgusting. But Mork really said "no. ❤" and I LOVE IT.

10. The shipper

I could go on and on about how underrated I think this series is. This series took over from 2gether on Fridays, and while I didn't think about this series constantly like I did with 2gether, this series made my quarantine brighter. Fridays meant I was gonna laugh at least once and forget about life just for a short while. The humour in this series is so fucking dumb lmao, but I'm here for it.

I've seen people talk about the shipper as a bl but I disagree. I think it's better described as a series with bl aspects. The main themes are friendship, family, dealing with loss, respecting boundaries of people you admire, and one of the main messages is about making sure the people close to you know how much they mean to you. Don't get me wrong, the majority of the series is over the top humour, but by the end of it I was personally really attached to the characters and their feelings. Overall I really enjoyed this series but I don't see anyone properly talk about it :(

11. Gaya sa pelikula

A series made by gay people for gay people. Shows like this are so important. This show really healed my soul with how brilliant the representation was :(( "remember we talked about microagressions" the way that means Vlad is constantly educating Karl about LGBT stuff, UGH. SO GOOD. Also this show has the most realistic representation of a crush I've ever seen lmao, soft Vlad is the best Vlad.

12. My engineer

My happy little Saturday show :( I miss the shit writing, shit acting and soft story of this series so much. I'm so fond of this series, I watched it after the horrible ep12 of 2gether and it really made me happy. I'm looking forward to season 2, but Ramking's novel goes DOWNHILL from here on. I know tricreation wouldn't allow the final chapter's scenes, but the entire story is so problematic and unenjoyable :(. The only valid scene is King's coming out scene but that's literally it. And the collar scene can stay lmao.

13. Oxygen

Another soft saturday series! I love this series so much, all of the couples are so bloody healthy and it makes me so happy. The communication is amazing!! THIS is how you show healthy relationships!!!

14. The gifted

S1 was so amazing!! I loved all of it! The only part of s2 we'll talk about is timegracethird. Time best boy!! Grace a feminist queen! When future Grace said they would be friends for a long time that made me so happy :(( also pangwave canon

15. Until we meet again

So I talked about the healthy relationships in oxygen. But uwma really showed the healthiest relationship ever. DeanPharm are just the softest little humans :( I would die for Pharm. He's the closest I got to a comfort character before Adachi. I just have to PROTECT HIM. My motherly instincts really kick in when I see him lmao.

The storyline of this series is just breathtaking. And the ending? I don't think I've ever cried that much. At all. It was so fucking beautiful 🥺

16. My gear and your gown

I really liked this show! Honestly I don't think I'll ever rewatch it but I definitely enjoyed it. The way Pai just seemed to breathe freely for the first time when his parents accepted his sexuality :(((( my baby :( also purefolk were brilliant

Ship list:

1. Saratine

These two are the definition of romance. They mean the fucking world to me. The fact that their story is apparently gonna be continued in some form makes me so. So. Happy. I cannot begin to describe it. My bet is on a special episode and ugh I'm so EXCITED.

2. Aini

Thonhonchonlatee in general is enjoyable but I don't like Thon at all. It's such a shame bc I was so excited for Khaotung and Podd to be in a series together :((. BUT. Aini have grabbed my heart. I knew they would bc miketap are brilliant, but wow. They're so gay my little babies :( miketap are just so natural and comfortable to watch. I love their chemistry so muuuuuuch

3. Sunmork

Coffee boyfriends :( I miss them so bloody much

4. Ramking

One of my fave ships. As I mentioned, I'm apprehensive about s2, but s1 ramking is such a beautiful story. It's just about 2 boys falling in love, no complications. Plant boy who's afraid of dogs falls in love with quiet boy who loves dogs but is afraid of children. Iconic. Also chemistry outsold, I THINK ABOUT THE KISS CONSTANTLY. When I mentioned the acting is shit in this series (shit is harsh, I mean awkward), I did not mean Perth and Lay in the slightest. They really nailed their roles and I loved it.

5. Professor Layton x Claire

You 100% won't get this reference but I grew up with the Professor Layton games and holy shit do they hold up. They're so amazingly written with beautiful stories and the most lovable characters in the world. Layton's intellect, loving nature and surprising athleticism are admirable. Adachi is the character I relate to most, but if I was gonna choose a character to comfort me irl, Layton's your man. His voice is so comforting by nature. I'm blabbering at this point but the point is him and Claire are the only het pairing that matters.

These are just the ships that I felt should be separate from their shows. I love all of the ships from the shows I mentioned.

Oof this got horrifically long, I haven't had a proper chance to rant about most of these shows so I really let it out lol. I hope you've watched at least some of these shows and I didn't just rant to u about 12 shows you've never heard of 😂

I hope you have a wonderful day love!!!!

#secretsanta'20

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