#I should probably just block them but it sucks bc like. they do have good takes

[tomwambsmilk]

does anyone else have mutuals who vaguepost about their posts all the time. or is it just me

[sailoryooons]

hiiii :3 i’m a VERY silent reader (i’m terrified of my irls finding me on this god forsaken app) but i just love your writings so much so i had to participate in the agust event!!!!

childhood bffs yoongi x reader smut where they’re definitely probably too close, way closer than bffs should be anyways. reader goes to yoongi one night complaining bc no matter what she does, she just can’t cum! good thing yoongi’s actions speak louder than words <3

pls pls pls get totally creative w this, i love ur brain sm and i love seeing what you come up with!!!

❀ Pairing: Yoongi x f. reader

❀ Summary: Yoongi has always been your closest friend, but it’s always been a little closer than everyone else. He takes it one step further, offering to address a silly little problem for you. 

❀ Word Count: 2,320

❀ Genre: Friends to something more, PWP 

❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately. 

❀ Warnings: Explicit language, some feelings of insecurity but like barely, talking about orgasm struggles, explicit sexual content including vaginal fingering, nipple stimulation, a hint of choking, a lot of sucking on neck/throat, nipple play, mostly reader getting finger blasted sdfnodsifgj, reader is completely naked and Yoongi is still clothed, mentions of oral (f. receiving), a little bit of cum eating

❀ Published: August 23, 2022

❀ A/N: Okay so this was supposed to be posted way earlier than 10:30 PM EST but I completely forgot I had this sitting and waiting to post (it was a long day) but HERE IT IS!!! I love the idea of Yoongi casually just being like yeah I’ll get you to come or whatever, let’s do it sdfjdfogijdfrgi thank you so much for being a reader and requesting something - silent or talkative reader, I'm just happy you're here and that you enjoy my writing! Thank you for being here.

❀ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

| Masterlist | Ask | Hali’s Happy Agust |

“You what?” You ask Yoongi, breath shaky. “Don’t play around like that, it’s not very funny.”

It’s rare that you can’t tell if Yoongi is making a joke or not. Though his humor is quiet like the night sky outside and soft like the sweater he’s draped in, you know Yoongi. Know him well enough to detect the subtle notes of a joke in his hushed words, know to listen amid the loud voices of your friends for a quiet jest, spoken softly just for you. 

Now, though, you’re a little unsure. 

Everyone has said for years that your friendship with Yoongi is too friendly. You vehemently disagree: affection between friends should be encouraged and treasured. Being able to platonically hold hands, share beds, and offer physical affection isn’t something reserved for lovers. You adamantly believe in this - always have. 

But… it is different with Yoongi. You think about how you always hold Taehyung’s hand, how you let him curl into your side during movies, or how he nests in your bed when he grows too tired for parties. Taehyung is particularly affectionate, but it does feel different.

“Let me make you cum,” Yoongi repeats, as though he’s reflecting on the weather outside. He’s on his knees on the couch next to you, hands resting in his lap. “No one should have to go through their adult life without partners making them cum.”

You roll your eyes. “Plenty of people can’t cum for a number of reasons, Yoongi.”

“Okay, that’s fair. Let me try anyway.”

“Why do you care?”

He tilts his head. “Because you’re you. And I’m good at making people cum. It feels like an obvious answer.”

“We’re best friends.”

“My point exactly. Look, if I’ve made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry, I-”

You shake your head and wave him off. “No, I just. Didn’t expect the offer and it made me nervous.”

“Nervous how?”

Letting out a long exhale, you rest your head on the back of the couch and look up at the ceiling. Your warm mug of tea is abandoned and the drama on the TV plays on, silent in the background. You chew the inside of your cheek, wondering how to string your words together. 

With anyone else, you’d feel embarrassed or nervous. With Yoongi, your anxiety is significantly less. Even if you speak the words on your mind, you’re sure it won’t change things. You’ve been through your fair share of oversharing, never shamed, never turned away. 

It’s how you started this conversation about your sex life in the first place.

So you decide to be honest. 

“Nervous like, I’m into it and I want to try it out, but I don’t want it to make our dynamic weird.” 

“It’s not weird for me if it’s not weird for you. I’m sorry I offered so bluntly.” 

Your lips twitch and you reach out, taking his hand in yours. Yoongi has beautiful hands. Long fingers with knobby knuckles, blunt nails and gentle fingertips, calloused palms. You’ve mapped the structure of his palm hundreds of times, know the shapes of the lines on them, and watched a palm reader chart the stars on them. 

Yoongi’s hands are where you’re safest. 

“Don’t apologize, you didn’t violate a boundary.” His mouth is soft when he smiles, his eyes are dark when he watches you. He’s so pretty. A soft thing with round cheeks, kind eyes, and gentle smiles. Quiet. Confident. “You really wanna try?” 

Yoongi’s grin turns feral. “I do.” 

“Alright.”

It starts with him leading you to your room, hand holding yours gently. It starts with a shy smile and hungry eyes, Yoongi watching you as you sit on the edge of your bed, unsure and giving him a questioning gaze. His hands are confident when he makes you move backward, shuffling until you’re in the middle of your bed on your back. 

Yoongi joins you on the bed, kneeling next to you. He watches as he reaches out, brushing his fingertips over your thigh. His touch is featherlight, making you shiver. He doesn’t do anything but this at first, tracing the shape of your clothed hip, up the sides of your rips, under the curve of your breast. 

Your breath catches, fixated on Yoongi as he outlines your curves. His eyes flicker to your face, drinking in your expression when he draws his fingers over the swell of your tits and over your nipple. The stimulation is barely there but it spikes. You inhale sharply and he smirks as he keeps going, brushing over your throat, and under your jaw, feeling your pulse. 

“Pretty,” he murmurs. He takes you by the chin, thumb pulling at your bottom lip. “What do you like?” 

It’s hard to answer. Yoongi’s hand leaves your mouth and trails back down to your neck. He wraps his fingers around your throat but doesn’t squeeze. It’s a barely-there ghost of a grip and he raises his eyebrow. You nod, unable to string together an answer. He squeezes gently before continuing his exploration downward again.

Your tongue is heavy in your mouth. This Yoongi is one you’ve never experienced. He’s quiet as always, but the silence is heavier. Pointed. He bites his bottom lip a little as he passes your stomach and dips between your legs, pressing against your clothed cunt. 

“Yeah?” he asks when your hips twice. 

You feel heat lick through you, pooling between your legs. Your fingers twist in the sheets in anticipation. Heat pulses from your pussy, panties getting damp and Yoongi’s has barely touched you. It’s the way he looks at you, the way he presses his thumb against your swelling clit. 

“Yeah,” you breathe, voice watery. “I’m pretty into it.”

“I can tell,” he teases. He leans down, keeping one hand between your legs, gently applying pressure and circling his fingers as his lips search for yours. “You’re already wet, huh?”

Yoongi doesn’t let you answer. His lips capture yours and you sigh into his mouth, hands coming up automatically to wrap around his neck. It feels so natural. His hair is soft between your fingers and his mouth is warm, tasting faintly of the peppermint tea he drank earlier. 

Kissing Yoongi is heady. He controls the kiss, keeping the pace slow as if he’s savoring you. Your thighs close around his hand as he presses through your shorts harder. When he introduces his tongue to your mouth, it takes your breath away. 

Breaking the kiss, Yoongi mouths at your jaw. You arch into him, running your hands down his chest, feeling the warm skin beneath his sweater. One of your hands goes to his wrist pressed into the mattress by your head, holding onto him, the other goes to his hand between your legs, laying your fingers on his, pressing.

He hums, the buzz of his mouth against the underside of your jaw maddening. Together, you peel your shorts down your legs. Yoongi shuffles closer to you, your thigh pressed against his as he continues to kneel next to you, heat radiating from his body.

Yoongi traces the trim of your panties. You watch him, your mouth parted as you breathe unsteadily. He is solely focused on you. You can feel the slick sticking to the silk, watching as he drags a finger near your hip, his touch tantalizing. 

Maybe this is what you were missing. Yoongi takes his time, dragging out the feeling of his hands on you. Works you up as he removes your shirt and bra next. You feel drunk on him already, nipples pebbling in the cold room. His nails scratch lightly up your stomach to your chest. He smirks as he traces slow, lazy circles around your nipples, eyes glancing up to watch your expression. 

“Why?” you ask, hissing at the light stimulation. You want more. 

“No one is in a rush,” he mutters. His voice is low, raspy. “Are you?”

When you shake your head, he smiles, pinching a nipple between two fingers. A curse drips from your mouth and your hips buck. You close your eyes, letting Yoongi tweak one nipple then the other, letting him guide you through. The stimulation feels good - otherworldly, even, when he bends down and flicks the tip of his tongue over one playfully. 

“No,” you sigh. “Not in a rush.” 

His teeth scrape your sensitive bud and your head rolls back, pushing into the mattress. “Good. Relax, let me take care of you.”

Tension melts out of your body. You didn’t realize you were so tense until he pointed it out. You let yourself sink into the feeling of Yoongi sucking gently on the peak of your right nipple while his thumb brushes back and forth over the other. The stimulation feels good, your head lolling to the side as you breath shakily. 

Yoongi is slow. He takes his time running his tongue across your chest, air cooling is spit as he goes. You squeeze your thighs together, feeling your cunt throb for attention. He notices, nipping his way back up to your neck as he slides a hand down between your legs, pressing your panties into your sticky folds. 

“Fuck,” you sigh. He nuzzles your neck, tongue swipe over the sensitive spot of your throat. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this fucking wet.”

“Good.” His words are muffle as he sucks at your tender skin. You angle your head, giving him better access. It feels like the bed is spinning wildly, a compass lost in an electromagnetic field. “Tell me at any point if something doesn’t feel good or you want something else.”

“Okay.”

You open your eyes and smile. It’s so Yoongi to make sure he asks what you want. So Yoongi to remind you that he’s here for you. That as he slips his hand under the waistband of your underwear, he’s determined to provide for you. To get you off. 

A moan slips out of your mouth when it comes into contact with your dripping cunt. He avoids touching your clit directly, fingers spreading your folds as he teases your hole experimentally. It feels good - whether it’s because it’s Yoongi or because you’re already worked up, it doesn’t matter. 

Yoongi circles around your clit deftly a few times, making your hips wiggle. A tingle settles in your stomach, fingers twisting in the sheets.

When he retracts his hand, you open your eyes. He watches you steadily lifting his fingers to pop them between pink lips and oh. He hums around his fingers, making a show of rolling his tongue around them, tasting your juices. He slides them slowly out of his mouth, hypnotizing you. 

“Mmm.” He grins and reaches to slide your underwear off. “Can’t wait to eat you out. First, I’m gonna make you come.”

Never in your friendship would you have imagined Yoongi to be like this. It would be a lie to say you’d never thought what it might be like to have him like this, his hands peeling your underwear off. The scrap of the silk on your legs is heady, every part of your skin extra sensitive. 

Lips parts, eyes fixed, you watch him toss the underwear to the side. He shuffles so that one knee rests against his leg, the other spread flat on the mattress for him. There is a split second where you feel vulnerable, spread open for him to see how much of a mess you are at the barely stimulation. You start to close your leg but Yoongi shakes his head, hand brushing down your inner thigh.

Slowly, Yoongi drags a finger up your slit to your entrance, massaging lightly with his finger before sinking in slowly. You let out a long breath, your walls clenching around his finger. It doesn’t provide a lot of stretch, but it feels good, the pad of his pointer stroking your inner wall. 

At first, Yoongi is slow. Familiarizing himself with your warm, wet heat. He picks up the pace then, stroking deeply, ensuring to push up against that soft spot inside of you. It drives you crazy. Crazier, still, when he leans down and attaches his mouth to yours, tongues tangling as he fingers you leisurely. 

“Fuck,” Yoongi mutters against your mouth. “You’ve got a wet little cunt.”

“Not usually,” you admit. You card your fingers through his hair, pulling at the ends a little. Your entire body is radiating with heat, sweat slicking your skin. “Fuck, it feels good. Doesn’t usually.”

“No?” he sucks harshly at your jaw and your eyes flutter shut. 

“No. Usually they jack hammer their fingers into my pussy.”

His laugh is hot on your skin. “Nah, just gotta find the spot.” 

Yoongi has found the spot. Makes it ten times better when he adds another finger, giving you something more substantial to grip on. Your cunt grips his fingers like a vice, slick sounds filling the room. He adds his thumb to the mix, pressing down on your clit. You gasp his name, hips bucking against his hand, dripping into his palm.

“Fuck yeah,” he grunts. “Fuck yourself onto my hand the way you like.” 

Together, you work yourself up to the edge. Yoongi doesn’t pause for a moment, doesn’t complain that his wrist is tired, doesn’t stop tonguing your sensitive spot on your neck until you’re clinging to him, coming around his fingers in a wet, messy squelch. 

You shake as he thrusts his fingers a few more times, the slopping sound of his palms smacking your pussy intoxicating. You feel like liquid, blurry at the edges and warm. 

“Holy shit,” you sigh. Yoongi pulls his fingers from your hole and you immediately squirm, hating the empty feeling. “That was just from your fingers?”

“Uh huh.” You watch as he licks his fingers again, grinning around them. Your stomach flips, cunt still leaking, begging for more. “Now watch what happens when I eat this pussy.” 

[spiffysoultarot]

What do you need to know? Pick a troll:

Pile 1: wheel, ten pent, 5 wands, empress. Whoa, talk about good fortune coming your way! We have both benefics represented here with the wheel (Jupiter) and empress (Venus). Something you once thought was totally out of the realm of possibility for yourself could actually be working out… but not without a fight. It is worth fighting for. It’s not underhanded, nasty, manipulative type fighting— it’s more like a healthy competition that makes you want to get better or just be a better person in general. I’m getting like an auto ski rope that you grab onto to get to the top of the ski hill— it’s like that, you just have to hold on tight and maintain your balance of self-love and nurturing to get there (financial abundance awaits at the top💵). Maintain a comfortable pace— don’t stand on your tippy toes all the time trying to be extra bc that’s not sustainable— know your limits/talents. Honor your natural workflow. Overall very positive— good for you, pile 1!

Pile 2: temperance, 8 swords, queen pent, knight cups (R). This one was kind of all over the place, 8 of swords always brings chaos and murkiness to readings for me. Multiple things here so bear with me. I got that someone here may have been very patient in achieving a material goal but are now feeling trapped or extremely emotionally unfulfilled or doubting if they even deserve it— like what are you so sad about? You got it. Idk, lol, I’m sorry if that’s blunt. But also— YES you deserve it!! Like maybe the material is balanced but now your mental/emotional state is out of whack. Someone may have burned you and made you doubt your judgement.“Never trust a salesman.” Keep him blocked, girl. Another thing was a successful self-made person uncovering material/physical proof that confirmed their suspicions someone was lowkey a goldigger. Then feeling hopeless as if they will never find someone who can match them in all the ways they desire. This sucks and I’m sorry that happened— you can move on a bit wiser now but also do you even really need anyone? Or do you just think you do bc you “should”? Something to ponder on bc the Queen and temperance upright are pretty balanced on their own. Animals are great companions. 🐈

Pile 3: star, ten of wands, judgement (R), 8 cups/10 pent (R). Finally seeing your own skills/strengths/talents and embracing them which will lead to positive attention, a win, recognition! ⭐️Possibly online. ORANGE & PURPLE. With the purple, yall are intuitive af and possibly saw it as a burden before but are now embracing your natural talents without shame. You’re not afraid to be seen. You’ve walked away from that which no longer serves you and certainly didn’t bring financial fulfillment. Wishes are granted here and new opportunities are abound— but they could be draining and will require hard work but I don’t see that being a problem for this pile at all. This win/oppurtunity is a long time coming. Leaving the status quo behind, finally stopping trying to fit your square self into this circular peg of typical life that you never fit into and probably never will. You’re here to help lead the way for others by simply being yourself. This new path has its own challenges but at least you’re doing something authentic, feeling inspired and emotionally fulfilled. In living authentically, you’re actually inspiring others to do the same. Keep doing you pile 3– you rock, and it looks good on you.

[r3starttt]

Lady of the moon

caitlyn kiramman x reader | read this or DNI

an: I highly suggest you read the request, also, might be part one if this gets enough support bcs this idea has been sooo long on my drafts but it wasn’t until this req that I actually put my mind into it. Pls reblog, comment, whatever, thx mwah

moonlight in a quiet garden, that’s her beauty

Another day of the usual stealing, running and trying not to get caught by pultover citizens as an attempt to survive in the undercity.

You were currently at the roof of what seemed like the fanciest mansion you've ever stepped, luxurious white decorating It's external walls and a deep dark blue on the roof that shined by the almost unbearable sun.

A jump and you were already outside a balcony, desperately trying to open the door as fast as possible at the sight of a nice amount of enforcers at the main entrance. Until desperation kicked in.

Something you've learned is topsiders have nothing to worry about, with that said, their security sucked. So a kick and you were inside what seemed like an office.

There were at least four bookshelfs fulled with books of all kinds of stuff, a huge table in the middle near the biggest window and the door you've came in, it had some sheets with designs, maths and other stuff written you could barely understand.

Aware of the minimum time you had to grab everything and leave and amused by all the stuff you would gain a good reward of, you disposed to sarcastically and slowly grab every peace of whatever artifacts you could find to put It Inside a small bag. Looking trough the books for anything that looked valuable.

That until a weird shimmer cought your eye. Blue and small there was a round crystal directing the shine of the sun to your eye, so you grabbed it.

It wasn't the only one so you didn't think twice and grabbed them all.

Humming, you didn't realize there were footsteps approaching until you heard some keys trying to unlock the door.

You've never get caught, so the panic of it all made you fall, and with it one of the blue orbits you've caught some seconds before broke.

As your hand extended to grab it the door got open, you closed your fingers in the palm of your hand, making of it a tight fist.

"Yeah, I think you should change this door, it's not the first time it blocks itself" That was the most feminine and sophisticated voice you've ever heard, accompanied by the profile of a girl probably your age, with blue dark hair. It reminded you of the crystals you've found. How could someone like her have a place like this for herself you thought, interrupted by a face completely terrified.

"Wait!" She screamed to whoever was accompanying her. You mover your fist to your face, relaxing it as your fingers expressed a silent emotion, warning her to not make any silence.

"What now? You forgot something again?" A male voice was heard, if it's wasn't for that girl you would be dead already, something you knew was men could only mean danger here.

The blue haired girl nodded, rapidly realizing she couldn't be seen so she spoke again "Yeah! I'm so sorry, just... leave the boxes here and I promise I'll help you"

Fancy black shoes stepped inside the office, gently approaching to you as the man probably mid upstairs groaned.

Accompanied by more steps, now going away and the loud sound of boxes hitting the ground right outside the place you just robbed. Your heart beat could be felt all over you'd body.

Why would a topsider panic about you? Why wouldn't she just try to directly kill you as you were told they would if they ever caught you?

"Just go, I won't say anything, I promise" she gently kneeled on the floor, leaving the box she had in hand as quiet as possible.

And of course you didn't believe any of it, but what else could you do besides running away from here?

"Don't come here again, it's dangerous" her voice and words caught you of guard. "Yeah I know that" you responded sarcastically, grabbing the broken crystal from the floor "Your people, they're all crazy"

You could notice a small pout appearing on her face "I'm sorry"

Ignoring her words you turned around, readjusting your bag now heavy on your shoulders, stepping slowly to the outside of the balcony, to leave right like you came in. "Don't be"

You shrugged, giving her a last look. She was the most prettiest girl you've ever seen, and somehow, even not believing any word she said, you could feel her warmth, she wasn't like the others.

And that tought as much as it made your heart feel nice, it also made you worried. Because piltover is made for the cruel and hunger of power, not for the nice and tender like her.

"Take this" her hand had something that looked like a music box, but by the way it looked it was probably the most expensive music box. Yet, it couldn't be so easy right?

You laughed taking it away from her and quickly saving it in your bag "Why for?"

"My dad's money, you won't get in trouble" the way she spoke elicted a smile on your face "thanks uh..." your hands moved, expressing you wanted to know her name

"Caitlyn" "Yeah, thanks caitlyn, hope to see you next time" she was about to laugh until everything went white. A loud pit covered your eyes, blinding you and making you jump out of there.

As you recovered the very small vision you could get you noticed the balcony floor cracking. Did she do this?

Did she do this?

You glanced at her, noticing a blue shine near her. It had been a peace of the stone it fell when she caught you.

Could the others explode? It didn't matter. You had to run away.

The voice of people screaming in fear caught your attention, making you look down at the floor that was starting to fall.

But before you could do anything there was someone waiting ro you already. By the way it screamed caitlyns name it was probably the same man you heard before.

-

"I've heard you were running around piltovers finest?" Silco's voice was hear the moment you stepped inside what was home for you, for him.

"Don't be so mortified, look" as you left the bag fall to the floor you saw his face pointing at the big aquarium. "Beautful aren't they? Yet, up there... at the surfece, no one even know they exist"

His eyes narrowed back at you, opening his arms as he wanted for you to step closer. Once you did he placed his hand on your back, moving it up and down "they're monsters" you shrugged

"There's a monster inside all of us" you nodded, chuckling at the sight of a syringe. Grabbing it nonethelessly and turning your body to properly face him. Injecting it into his eye.

-

The nation of zaun, that’s what you cared most about. You were born there, grew up there, saw your life get slowly destroyed in front of your eyes at the youngest age possible. You learned to forgive, on your own, ironically based on what you’ve seen. What you lived with that blue haired girl named caitlyn you managed to keep in contact after that one time you got caught.

You thought that both sides were doing their bests to have the highest life quality, to keep its people alive and to keep its own spaces existing. You knew you were part of the bad guys, the dangerous and dirty. Even though you weren’t, so, how fair was it to think the same about the other side?

Piltover’s citizens were people like you, afraid of the unknown, with imaginary enemies they were thought to hate since birth. People trying to survive with the peacefullest life possible, with dreams, families, life’s to give a chance experiencing in the best way possible.

So you couldn’t really hate them, because to you, that was ironic, stupid, nonsense.

Oposite to Silco, the man you grew up with, the one that saved your life, the one that was your only family. He thought you to hate them, to be powerful and never fear anyone, never trust people, not even your own, because it was only the two of you in this world.

And you couldn’t blame him either, he suffered what you saw, so you couldn’t really relate to anyone’s pain, specifically not his.

You were the reason this all existed. And how he would let you know, every day, every time. You’re everything that’s behind The nation of Zaun, you found everything that was necessary to create it and make it a possibility. For you it was someone else, a person you omitted while explaining to Silco what had happen and a detail Sevika didn’t know either. For you it was all thanks to caitlyn, who made sure no one searched for you after that, the girl that somehow managed to make people forget everything that happened.

The girl you were currently looking for, most exactly, waiting for since you failed to find her. She genuinely cared about you, and knew the danger of your stance in piltover, so the window of her room would always be open for you.

Laying on her bed you heard steps coming closer and closer outside her room, it could only be her so you waited for her usual entrance where she would catch on her bed the moment she stepped inside, smiling at you an practically running to ramble with you about whatever.

But today wasn’t the case apparently. You noticed the trophy she had in hand, probably her parents did something again and she didn’t like it. “Why so blue kiramman?” she laughed humorlessly “so funny” her eyes rolled as she stepped closer to her bed, you sat on it, waiting for her to come sit next to you.

“I’m a hundred percent sure it was your mom so, please cait, stop being so annoying and stubborn and enjoy your privilege yeah?” she shocked her head, grabbing the trophy in between her legs, making them dance on the air “it was someone else, I… uhm, wanted to tell you something”

You furrowed your brows almost immediately “did you do something? someone did something to you?” your eyes wandered all over her face, trying to read her mind somehow. She didn’t look physically hurt, she couldn’t be but you had to check anyway by how she was acting, you could never know with this people.

Caitlyn extended her trophy to you, confused, you just grabbed it in silence. But it all made sense the moment you read the word enforcer “You’re fucking kidding me? what’s wrong with you caitlyn?”

You leaned your face to make her look back at you “I knew I could never trust you” you groaned in annoyance. It made her look back at you, grabbing your writs and her trophy back, placing it on her bed “don’t say that, you know I have no more options”

“You do, you just want to make things harder for everyone. Just do what your mom says and let her give you a princess life Caitlyn” you swayed her hand away, walking to the window near her bed.

“But you know I don’t want that” her murmur made you so angry for some reason, you always agreed on it, you were the one to support her on not doing what her mom suggested. But she omitted a huge detail, one that you felt like a direct attack to you and what you cared most about, zaunties.

“I don’t want what my family wants either and look at me! I do what Im told and still manage to enjoy parts of it. You’re so privileged… it’s stupid that you’re tying to play the nice humble girl when you’re not, you could never know what it is to be like that”

You weren’t sure of what was more hurtful from this whole situation, but didn’t care either. “Playing the good guy involves me being the bad one, my people being the bad guys, and we’re not, caitlyn”

The tears that were slowly covering her face made you regret saying those words, but god how hurt you felt, how betrayed. Maybe Silco was right and it was only the two of you alone in this whole thing. Or maybe Caitlyn was growing up to become like her people, and so were you. Maybe oil and water can’t get along.

-

“Golden boy…” you whispered at the huge sheet in front of you with the face of the man that was also the reason of everything. Jayce, caitlyn had told you about him. Everyone kept on saying how perfect he was but you were proven more than once topsiders are a bunch of pretty faces trying to play the humble.

Every time you saw that blue uniform you got a feeling in your stomach, nostalgia and disgust. You could only imagine it would at least look good on caitlyn, with her pretty blue hair and her pretty face, because you never believed there was a way she would actually made the job. Only for her convenience of course, like making even harder zaunties life’s, making your life harder, making Silco’s life harder.

Because that’s why you and your people were here for, the blue orbs that would make the difference.

After that fight with Caitlyn you stopped coming back in a while, fearing she could find you and you could attack her, fearing she could attack you and you would have to let her hurt you, fearing you could get her in troubles or she could get you in troubles. Yet here you are, doing it all for Silco.

Well, you weren’t supposed to be here exactly, but jinx insisted on letting her do the hard job. Sevika was there too so she would manage all, or so she insisted always, no matter what you or jinx or anyone else did she could always do better, so you were taking advantage of it to get what you wanted all at once.

Proving nor sevika or jinx could do this as you could, and taking a peek of caitlyn who had to be somewhere. Her family would do anything to keep her from seeing real world but as any other citizen in here, they had to play the humble and caring people so there was no way she wasn’t working on a day like this. Progress day, being also close with that golden boy she had to be at least standing somewhere looking pretty and pretending to work.

To your surprise there she was, right in front of you, some meters apart. She was standing in front of a tent until she turned around. Due the position you were in you couldn’t see who she was talked to, but she looked entertained. Until she didn’t, you lost her out of sight.

-

“Caitlyn kiramman, why does that don’t surprise me?” you chuckled at the sight of amused eyes of a man that worked with you, covered by her, trying to make him speak with her usual sweetness, the same way she did with you. You had a gun pointed at him, ordering him to keep quiet as you kneeled near them.

She turned around, her face showed a mix of confusion but warmth, like the first time you ever saw her. You moved the gun closer to the man, signaling to leave, which he did immediately.

“If you care so much about the undercity why not ask your old friend mhm?” You saved the gun, extending your hand to help her stand again, which she ignored, eliciting a laugh from you “You did this?” her voice, it caused the same feeling that uniform, and her face, and this place. It made you feel dizzy in some sort of way.

You nodded “why, you’re gonna take me to prison or something?” Caitlyn rolled her eyes, crossing her arms as she stepped back. “You haven’t changed” “Yeah?” you mocked.

Next to her on the ground you noticed some pictures, you just glanced at them, knowing she would pick them up the moment she noticed you looking at them.

“That’s not me, the mask” she narrowed her eyes at you, doing exactly as you’ve expected “He said something about a man, you work for someone now?” she seemed surprised

You shrugged “I always did” her mouth opened yet before she said anything you spoke again “I thought you didn’t do your job, you looked better standing and just looking pretty outside your mom’s tent”

“You were watching me?” her eyes studied your figure, furrowing her brows “it was her tent then? I guessed that” her hand traveled to the side of your arm, giving it a gentle snap, which made you jump back “What was that?”

“You disappear for years and now this?” now you were the one rolling the eyes “I thought something had happened to you”

You watches the scene in our silence, she looked genuinely worried, intrigued by this whole situation. It made you realize how normal you were about all this, how you’ve created a whole reality of her person now, and how inaccurate that might be.

But then you remembered why you left her on the first place, the words Silco said to you.

“So you agree your people’s dangerous?” you let out a sigh, turning around and watching all the mess your crew had done “enforcers are dangerous” you murmured, hearing her steps roaming somewhere behind you.

“I’m not, I’m here because I know something’s been wrong and I want to help the undercity” you shifter your gaze back to her “Why?” “For you”

[anystalker707]

Little secrets

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x [gender neutral] Reader Words: ~ 3 800 Summary: Zoro always insists a little too much that they stop by a specific island then disappears until they need to leave again. What's going on? Tags: Sub! zoro, dom! reader, embarrassed zoro, pet names, very fluffy Somewhat inspired by @sinsterdarling 's fanfic Not proofread Probably ooc characters, bc im also very dumb MASTERLIST

          Zoro's eyes narrowed a little as he finally saw the island in the distance and, as much as he could feel certain relief, something also twisted inside his chest because the ship just couldn’t meet the shore soon enough. His grip around his swords was almost too tight, hurting his palm a little until he was forced to let go and find something to do until they reached the island, but it still felt like an eternity until it was finally time to toss the anchor down in the water.

It felt good to finally be on land for once in a while, to have firm ground under your feet. A quiet sigh of relief escaped Zoro's nose as he looked around, tucking his hands into his pockets.

Zoro yawned, watching the others stretch, and check their surroundings. It wasn't much different than the last time they'd been there. The stands near the shore sold fresh seafood, the reason of the incessant shouting of prices and products to attract the high volume of people that walked by. The island wasn't just the Strawhat's usual destination. A few other ships had docked there, being loaded or already leaving to the open sea without the worry of being stopped by the marine. Truly a paradise if it weren't so offhand because of their new routes. Zoro almost had to insist a suspicious amount for them to make a stop there.

The weather was quite nice. It was hot enough to take a bath in the warm sea water, but not too hot that you'd feel like in hell after standing under the sun for longer than five minutes, with a heat that was soothed by the soft breeze. Soft white clouds adorned the blue sky, once in a while blocking the sunlight for a few minutes. It felt perfect. Almost like a home.

"Hey." Zoro attracted their attention. "We are leaving just tomorrow, right?"

"Most likely." Robin hummed and nodded along with Luffy after the two shared a look.

"Right," Zoro exhaled. "I'll meet you tomorrow. Don't bother looking for me or anything, I know my way around."

“Are you sure? You don’t even know left from right.” Sanji clicked his tongue as he shook his head.

“And you don’t even know your own name the moment you see a woman!” Zoto shouted, his hands balling into fists by his sides.

Sanji groaned, eye twitching, and sucked in a breath just to interrupt himself the moment Luffy steps in between the two. “Ohh, look at that! Sanji, do you think you can prepare me something with that?” Everyone followed the direction he pointed at to see a proud man selling octopus that looked better than most of what they saw around.

“Tch.” Sanji sighed. “Of course. Let’s go.”

Zoro turned on his heels to start his own little journey, but stopped when he heard his name being called. Nami stood there with some papers in hands, raising an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure you’ll be fine, Zoro? Where are you even going?”

He rolled his eyes with a soft sigh, though all he bothered doing was to glance back at her. “I will be fine. Let me go, I don’t want to lose any more time.” 

“Ohh, Zoro is full of secrets!” Usopp told Chopper, who giggled along with him. As much as these comments had Zoro’s muscles twitching for him to hit their heads so they’d shut up already, he didn’t want to waste more of his precious time on the island. He closed his eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath so he could focus again.

Right. He was supposed to walk to the right until he saw a sorta alligator–shaped rock, then turn left and follow up to the woods. There was a red ribbon attached to the tree next to the way he should follow—a red ribbon along with some carvings, which sight already almost had him blushing. Swallowing thickly, he glanced around to make sure no one had followed him. There truly wasn’t anyone, but he still held his breath as making his way further down the trail into the woods.

Everything was fine until the way divided itself in two. Zoro didn’t remember whether he was told to go down the way with the tall tree or to avoid it. He stood there for a long moment, just staring at the tree while trying to remember what he had been told. First, alligator rock, then red ribbon, then... tall tree or not tall tree? Fuck off, why was it so difficult to remember? Well, it must’ve been tall tree, right? Or else he would’ve been told to follow the pebbles’ side.

With a shrug, Zoro took the right side and just kept walking, but... Something felt a little off. The ground was muddy, and he was sure it wasn’t supposed to be like that.

“Fuck...” Zoro clicked his tongue, turning around to follow the way back to that intersection. Maybe it really was about avoiding the tall tree direction. Who knew, huh. Now, he just needed to find that intersection and... No way he had walked that much away from it, so why did it never come?

Okay, it didn't seem good. Zoro stopped and scratched the back of his neck as he observed his surroundings. He couldn't see anything after a certain distance because of how the trees embraced the area, so returning to his starting point seemed a little out of question at the moment. The view was beautiful, either way, with the sun poking in through the leaves of the trees, but it was difficult to appreciate it with all the thoughts rushing through his head. Maybe he could set a direction and just walk because he would certainly reach somewhere at some point. Either way, he continued looking for something familiar on his way, walking a little slower than the last time, paying attention to every single sound and detail.

"Oh, what a good surprise!" The sudden voice had Zoro jumping, turning around abruptly, just for the tension to wear out at the moment he saw a familiar face there, giving place to a nice sensation as he felt his heart flutter. It was as if his body had its own mind, taking Zoro to them in swift steps. "Hi! How are you?"

No response came, instead only a warm hug that had both of them content. The world seemed to fall quieter once Zoro found them. His cheeks felt warm when he pulled away and looked at you, eyes flickering over each inch of your figure to take in the sight he had missed so much. His hands held onto your upper arms maybe a little tighter than needed, but he couldn’t risk letting any second near you go unused.

“How are you doing, pretty boy?” You repeated yourself with a soft smile as you gazed at Zoro—he always loved the way you looked at him, as if he was worth something. “I missed you.”

Zoro hummed almost inaudibly, finally nodding. “Doing well, yes. What about you?” As much as you knew it, he wanted to say that he missed you as well, to tell how much he had insisted for his friends to stop by at the island again, but the words just stopped at his throat and left him with an embarrassment and guilt that barely let Zoro look at you in the eyes.

“Fine, yes, but better now that my pretty boy is here with me.” You had a soft smile on your features. Your hand cupped Zoro's cheek softly so you could press a kiss to his face, which made him press his eyes shut for a moment as his cheeks burned hotter. "Come on, I will prepare you something to eat. You must be tired." Your hand fit just right around Zoro's, warm and protective.

Zoro hummed softly, ignoring the fact he had been walking in a completely different direction the whole time. His eyes fell to your other hand, seeing a large shopping bag. "Do you want help?"

"No, darling, it's fine." You smiled softly. "We're almost there, either way."

The place you lived in wasn't too modest nor too luxurious, with enough space for your whims and very well kept. It was almost a cottage, both for its aesthetic and also the way it was situated in a nice clearing with a lake near it, in the middle of the woods, a good distance away from anyone else. You also cultivated a few plants, so there was a beautiful flower garden by the front and a small vegetable one by the back. It was one of the most beautiful sightings for Zoro.

The house still smelled just like he remembered. Not much had changed either since the last time he'd been there, saving for a few of the furniture that changed place and the new decoration.

Inside that bag, you had food, which you carefully put away while Zoro made himself home. He couldn't help but to spot some ingredients for his favorite dish. It was almost as if you knew he was coming, and he wouldn't be surprised if you really did.

There, surprisingly, was a place where he could feel comfortable without his swords hanging from his waist. Not only did he know that you were strong enough to face any threat that attacked the island, but he was also sure he would be one of your priorities when it came to protection.

Zoro didn't really know what to do with his hands as he sat on the kitchen table, watching you assemble ingredients and stir pans until a few plates were set in front of him. There were pancakes, toasts, fruits, honey, hot chocolate, coffee, milk...

"Thank you." His voice was small and quiet, but still made it to your ears and snatched a soft smile from you that made something bubble up inside his chest. Zoro was quick to start eating, balancing it between eating it all at once because of how hungry he was and savoring each bit because he didn’t have the opportunity of eating your food everyday. Fingers touched the hair on the base of his neck, running through the short green strands in a soothing motion that had him closing his eyes for a moment whilst leaning into the touch. His eyes parted open to meet yours—you had a cup in hand while observing him quite adoringly. It somehow made him feel small, though not small as in when he met with an enemy who was resistant to his swords, but as in a way he could be held in someone’s palm knowing he wouldn’t be crushed.

“Is it good, honey?”

He swallowed. “Yes. Thank you so much.”

The constant rush Zoro’s life was in seemed to take an eventual pause when he was there, that small house in a little island making him feel so loved and protected as if it were a palace filled with gold and protected by a thousand gods; so being with you was something like finally allowing himself to rest and feel the weight on his back and chest without feeling guilty that he was somehow losing time.

A soft crack came from Zoro’s back as he groaned while throwing his intertwined hands above his head to stretch. The couch was way too comfortable, but he couldn’t sleep, not right now. He wanted to enjoy every little second with you, more and more, and just being pressed to you didn’t work. A whine almost escaped his throat with it. Almost. Instead, it was a soft him of appreciation because of how your lips met his.

The kiss was slow, but still very intense; the reason and the reward for escaping every adventure alive and in a whole piece, even if the times Zoro showed up to see you had more and more time between each other. He deepened the kiss at that thought, feeling a shiver run down his spine at how your hand met the side of his neck, letting your thumb run against his jaw soothingly.

“Tell me, honey,” you whispered against his lips before kissing your way down to his jaw. “Tell me where you’ve been and what you’ve done.”

A breath caught in his throat until he could finally get used to the soft touches. “I’ve been to somewhere called Skypiea and— And we met another god,” he told.

          “I don’t know if you have ever noticed this...” Usopp attracted everyone’s attention, or at least had Nami, Robin, Sanji, and Chopper looking at him while Luffy wolfed down all the food they’d ordered from a local restaurant. “...but Zoro disappears every single time we come here. What do you think he is up to?”

Because Nami had insisted they ate some of the local cuisine, they ended up looking for a restaurant where they could take a break from their shopping and goods-hunting and sit down to eat, checking what they’d gotten already and what was still to be found. Sanji didn’t seem exactly pleased with it, but ended up going along with it. 

“He is running away from working! He didn’t even take the list of stuff we need to find!” Nami slammed a fist against the table, having Chopper lean away a little with wide eyes, an opposite to how Robin just chuckled.

“Secret mission!” Chopper spoke up, raising an arm. “Or he just goes off somewhere to sleep!”

“Or maybe he sees someone. Or avoids someone.” Robin smiled. “He wouldn’t insist for us to come here just so he could sleep, don’t you think?”

Chopper gasped. “You’re smart, Robin!” He snatched another chuckle from her.

“Of course she is! Only she could think so reasonably!” Sanji nodded frantically.

“I suggest we confirm it,” Usopp chuckled as he rubbed his palms together. “We should follow him!”

“I’m in!” Chopper raised an arm again, almost jumping on the chair, whilst Sanji shrugged.

Nami stared at Usopp for a moment, lips pressed together as she contemplated whether she agreed with it or not. It wasn’t much of her interest what Zoro was doing since he always came back when it was time to leave, but now that Usopp had brought it up and they started making theories... She would be pleased to kick his ass once she found him sleeping somewhere to avoid the job all of them had to do. Or even annoy him for any embarrassing hobby.

“Okay...” Nami nodded.

They had to find Zoro first, that was the hard part. He didn’t come back to the ship at night, so maybe he would come back the following day to make sure they’d leave or stay for a little longer. They needed to keep their eyes wide open for any moss-head.

Luffy was intrigued, an arm over his chest and a finger under his chin while observing whatever food some random old man prepared in front of him, promising it was the best meal in the world. Maybe Sanji could do it if Luffy memorized all of the steps. There were tomatoes, a random fruit, some seasoning...

"Hey, Luffy."

"Hi, Zoro," he replied, voice distant.

"Are we returning today for real?" Usually, they never returned on the day they decided at first because there was always something missing, but Zoro better confirm if he didn't want Nami complaining the whole time and intereupting his precious naps.

"Hmmm... no," Luffy mumbled, "Usopp mentioned something about finding someone..."

Zoro raised an eyebrow, but settled down for not asking anything, only humming with a nod. Luffy barely paid attention to anything normally, so now it would be impossible—he gasped as the man finally handed him the food and started wolfing it down immediately, so Zoro just didn’t even try and started walking away. He wouldn't get lost his time, hopefully. You had given him a paper with the directions.

Luffy had finished eating when Nami approached him, sighing. "Hey, did you see anything?"

"Uh, yeah. Zoro was just here asking if we will really leave today, but I told him not yet," Luffy explained with his hands on his hips.

"Zoro?!!" Nami gasped as she threw her hands in the air, frantically waving for the rest of the group to come by. "And you didn't even call us?! How long has it been?!"

Luffy shrugged. "A couple of minutes."

"There's still time!"

The group left, ignoring the old man madly shouting at Luffy for not paying a thing, but they were already too far and too worried to care about it. The shouting mess tudned quiet at the moment they caught on Zoro's track, standing all together and following him in small steps to make sure he didn't notice he was being followed. Either way, it didn't seem like he would notice them that easily, no—he would eventually pause and rub the back of his neck, muttering to himself and the piece of paper that he held in hand.

"Why does he have that bag? Where did it even come from?" Nami narrowed her eyes, balancing on her toes with Chopper on her back. The six of them crouched behind a bush in a poor excuse of hiding.

A light brown bag hung from Zoro’s back, one that couldn't be theirs. They'd never bought that thing.

"He has a map in hand, I believe," Usopp hummed, rubbing his chin. "Do you think he is delivering something?"

"Looks like it," Chopper muttered, and looked at the others. Robin just gazed at each of them with a light entertained smile on her lips. Sanji, on the other hand, never let his gaze leave Zoro; Chopper could faintly hear him grumbling under his breath about how Zoro preferred to work for others rather than helping them and not even share the berries he earned.

Robin chuckled a little. “Well, let’s hope he really doesn’t lose himself, don’t you think?”

“He must be already lost!” Sanji clicked his tongue.

The way was a little agonizing. The destination never came and they almost had heart attacks whenever Zoro turned around to remake his way because he’d taken a wrong turn—it was hard to know if he even knew where he was going.

Now, Zoro had been stopped for over five minutes already and had no sign of going anywhere so soon. Nami broke the silence with a groan, “we should just confront him already! Z—”

“Zoro!” A voice called, having the six of them jumping and shutting up while they looked around for its source in the direction Zoro turned to. “Over here, honey! I knew you’d get lost!”

“Sorry!” Zoro clicked his tongue, folding the map to shove it in his pocket as he finally started walking again. “I did get everything, though! Check if it’s exactly what you wanted, or else I’ll go back!”

“I knew it!” Sanji shook his head, exhaling.

Once Zoro was a good distance away, they decided to follow him, stopping by the last bushes and trees around the clearing. Their chins fell simultaneously at the sight of the cottage—vines with light purple flowers crawled up the creamy walls, but the ones on the garden could almost be found in all colors, and Luffy already licked his lips at the sight of watermelons growing strong around the side of the cottage.

“Wait... who is that?” Usopp narrowed his eyes as he lowered his binocles, taking a closer look at you. He pressed his lips together, trying to figure out whether you were someone familiar or not.

All of them gasped in unison, however, at the sight of Zoro throwing his arms around your neck while you held onto his hips, pressing a kiss to his cheek before your lips met in a soft kiss. “Thank you,” you said softly. “Do you wish to prepare a cake with me? I would appreciate your help, it seems like we are going to need more food today.”

Zoro furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at you, pulling away a little. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it seems like your friends have found their way after you.” You smiled, tilting your head so you could look past Zoro at the group poorly hidden there. Zoro’s eyes widened at the same moment he whipped his head around, cheeks burning crimson at the sight of his six followers, who sweatdropped, mumbling incoherent excuses.

“What the fuck are you doing here, you idiots?!” He shouted, making you laugh.

“Aw, c’mon, it’s not bad to have visits once in a while!” You pressed a soothing kiss to Zoro’s cheek. “C’mon! Don’t be ashamed, come in!” Waving, you invited them to approach so you could make it into your place.

Weird was an understatement. Who could even imagine they would see Zoro stand there in an apron with you standing behind him, guiding his hands through kneading the dough. Whatever was going on among the others, was just white noise in the back of his mind since time with you was more worth it than whatever the six idiots would tease him for, he could deal with that later.

Everything was already in the oven when you served them more of the tea and biscuits to distract their hunger while the food was still being prepared. “Make yourself home,” you reminded them while serving Robin.

“Your tea tastes very good, (y/n), thank you for it!” Robin smiled before she took another sip of it.

“Why, thank you!”

“But who are you?” Chopper still seemed a little scared, feeling extra small as he sat between Sanji and Usopp for safety reasons. “Wh—Why haven’t we seen you before?”

You shrugged a little, humming. “I’m not sure, but I remember meeting my pretty boy when he got lost around here.” Your fingers ran through the short green strands, worsening the almost permanent blush Zoro already had.

“Pretty boy, hm?” Sanji smirked.

“You’re just jealous you have no one, you perverted cook!” Zoro shouted, standing up and leaning across the table in Sanji’s direction.

“Jealous? With Nami and Robin?” Sanji shouted with a scoff, mirroring Zoro’s position.

Nami rolled her eyes, not even trying to say anything because she wasn’t the one embarrassing herself in someone else’s house, either way.

“Well, it is nice to meet all of you!” You smiled, pouring more tea into the cup that Luffy extended to you. “I have heard a lot.”

“I hope he actually said something good!” Nami gave Zoro a side eye, though it was more of a glare that had him growling.

“Of course!” You chuckled with a nod.

“Hey, Zoro,” Luffy spoke up, “what’s that on your neck? Did a mosquito bite you or something?”

Zoro seemed confused until his eyes widened and converted his neck immediately, blushing profusely. “You idiot!!!”

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

[tenderhungering]

veep headcanons? :3

oh this will take a WHILE……i love veep so much. i’m about to wrap up season 6 right now ! i think i’ll do little headcannons / analysis for each character ! i might do a part 2 because i want to also do some more supporting characters. like you know damn well im gonna wanna write for catherine and marjorie as a whole,,,

Selina

named catherine “catherine” like her mother in order to be able to yell said name in anger the way she never could yell back at her mother

the severe mommy issues make her need every single one of her staff to be emotionally involved in her. if she isn’t the center of their life, she gets anxious about it, even angry. she needs to be validated

depends heavily on spellcheck,,, i just think she hates phones for some reason.

she can tell EXACTLY how someone is feeling by making it up in her head and believing it ❤️

got arrested once in her youth and it was wiped off the record. #supportwomen’swrongs

Amy

would do super super well taking up something that makes her adrenaline pump. they keep trying to get her to relax by making her get massages, meditate and be in quiet. she needs NOISE. she should be allowed to beat someone up at least once a day

had a little gray cat whenever she was younger. she likes them ! they’re similar to how she is whenever it comes to boundaries.

bisexual but she has a stressful job so she doesn’t have time to think about that rn

she would benefit from me in her life actually

actually really liked dan bc dan seems to personalize the relationship to the person (dan is so kind ❤️) so she was into him but suddenly got the ick.

Dan

trigger warning for SA and grooming: i think dan’s relationship with sex is so affected by the fact he slept with his teacher whenever he was younger in exchange for a good grade. it has made him view it was an exchange, a transactional affair. it’s why he’s so shit at intimacy, he doesn’t see to her anything out of it.

watches all the latest movies but it’s only because he keeps taking women out to go see them:

has a really sensitive stomach,,,,he says it’s something he ate but i feel like whenever he gets anxious it happens to

catholic guilt galore but he’s busy so he CANNOT get into it

he’s so the type of boyfriend who does baby talk and when he’s recorded he gets real mad about it. get that camera OUTTA here

Mike

he is like a baby duckling to me that’s why he wanted to raise them actually

has so many useless apps on his phone. why do you have a flashlight app you have a flashlight BUILT into the phone. its okay though bc he watches lot of youtube tutorials

probably wanted to vlog at some point but he got yelled at by selina in a clip so he stopped

the personality hire,,, everyone loves him but god he can be so bad at his job sometimes. everyone gets mad but never enough to fire him

because he started dating wendy, he started to dress up a little more ! ties and handkerchiefs match. i love you dad

Jonah

he so ran one of those private meme accounts whenever he was younger but he got so bad at everyone saying they were lame he just posted a screenshot that said SUCK MY DICK SON and blocked everyone

his incessant gross comments are a result of being around a bunch of rich white men that happen to be politicians that tend to laugh at them. he has daddy issues. he needs the validation

his little curls going missing are a result of him getting his hair straightened because he wanted to look more professional actually. he burnt his hands so he begged his mom to help him

gets really anxious about his health CONSTANTLY and has a will written out already because he’s scared one day it’ll (he doesn’t know what) catch up to him

Gary

he knows the lyrics to every new pop song ever. he loves it. he used to play Just Dance whenever he was in college or something i don’t know i feel like he might’ve even been in a club that requires that

has an extensive skin care routine. he puts on those fluffy headbands sometimes but stopped bc he realized it was to keep your hair dry and his is so short lmao

definitely has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. he just pops a pill of whatever and hopes that it works (it doesn’t)

needs heavy validation from authority figures,,,like badly,,, i think that’s why he enjoys it so much whenever any of selina’s boyfriends acknowledge him as a person (or anyone gives him any importance)

he needs someone to tell him what to do because he is so lost on having any identify that isn’t directly tied to someone else ? he’s not even really sure what he himself likes anymore. uses “we” more than he uses “i”

[mystic-myrtille]

I'm in a salt mode so lets get into this

One of the biggest problems people had with the L//S is how poorly developed it's been and how less effort it has been put into it, And don't get me started how Adrichat and Maribug barely interact basically making the ship have 0 chemistry.

But then when ships like Lukanette and Adrigami came along, then there's some Toxic L//S stans who bash the characters (and doxx lukanette and adrigami shippers), with their only excuse being "ThEy R iN tHe Way of adr///ette/L//s (Mainly because they're insecure that Lukanette/Adrigami has Chemistry, proper development and effort and their ship doesn't)

I'm so sick and tired of the hate that Lukanette/Adrigami gets.

I'm so sick and tired of the hate that Luka/Kagami gets.

I'm so sick and tired of toxic L//S stans projecting their ship on every. single. damn. thing

I'm so sick and tired of seeing Lukanette/Adrigami shippers get d0xxed, threatened and bullied just because they don't ship the L//S or Adr//ette

Yikes, people doxxed each other because of ships?? For some reason I'm not entirely surprised. I've seen fandoms with super toxic people and the ml fandom sure can be toxic as hell. If you (general) get so worked up about people's opinions about characters from a kids show, you should be denied access to the internet and instead have access to tons grass to touch. But yeah, even just "normal hate" can be frustrating and discouraging, so it's best to just block those people. I completely understand your frustration.

Luka//nette isn't good because they were half canon, it's good because they have a meaningful bond and the root for drama is always outside circumstances and not the fact that they fundementally don't work together. If Mari wasn't Ladybug, they probably wouldn't have split up. That's why I love this ship so much. Besides, they never got in the way of anything. Realistically, no ship can get in the way of a confirmed endgame ship bc, well, it's endgame. So this argument is kind of falls flat (honestly most arguments against Luka//nette I've heard were either not really important or kind of a very outlandish interpretation of their relationship, I don't care about either.)

Heck, even if Luka//nette wasn't the rival ship but just friends in canon who interacted twice, who cares? Shipping isn't supposed to be serious, it's exploring different dynamics between characters and having fun putting them in different scenarios and have them have 6176310278 different first kisses. There's no rule that you have to be on board with the canon ship.

Now speaking of L//S developement (bc now I'm also in a salty mood and I have thoughts)

I and many others have already talked about how s1-4 didn't really do much with them. But I find it funny when people say that s5 did a great job developing they're relationship because... bitch where? I've watched season 5 (I have no self respect) and everything was confusing and over the place and I think that's bc the writers can't make up their minds about which problems the L//S might face actually matter and how they can be solved.

The season starts with Mari making a big deal about how loving Adrien is dangerous because hero stuff. Oh but actually it doesn’t matter, she likes CN now, problem solved! Oh wait no Chat friendzoned her and Adrien is pushing real hard for Adr//nette so they give up their fucking miraculous (in times of crisis I might add), problem solved! No wait, actually the new heroes suck so they take them back, but that’s okay bc being in love and being a superhero at the same time is actually no longer a problem for some reason! The actual problem is that Mari is incapable of expressing herself because she has trauma. And THAT’S the real shit because fucking everybody gets so invested they organize literal dates for them and watch from a distance until they smooch instead of, oh idk, letting them do things their own way. But actually that also doesn't matter anymore bc Zoe just confessed and Mari was so inspired she immediately ran to Adrien. Oh but Adrien is a senti without free will and he goes to england soon whoopsie. Also Gabriel and Tomoe are now Adri//gami shippers because of course we need an arranged marriage deal type of plot. Oh yeah there's also something about Monarch apparently having all the miraculouses but who cares amirite

See what I mean? There's no structure, no actually overcoming problems, it's just random shit happening without any connection to the previous random shit. The characters don't develop in a meaningful way. Mari's only life goal is making one cohesive sentence in front of Adrien and he's kind of just there. I mean he could maybe feel inspired by Marinette's passion for arts and crafts and try out some stuff or he could continue to have no direction in life. Yes, as a teen it's hard knowing what you want to do later in life, but Adrien doesn't even really have actual hobbies he can define himself through. The writers fail not only to develop the relationship as a whole but also the characters involved as people. They could as easily be a situationship where they meed every two days to make out and it wouldn't change anyting. It's just fan service here and there combined with shallow and forgettable dialogue (I think, there wasn't a conversation that stick with me at least) and idk this maybe works as a first love that maybe lasts for a year before they have a dramatic break up and then move on with their lives, But the show tries to sell this idea that the square will actually stay together forever (or have a constant toxic on-off thing bc that's the vibe I'm getting. Plus Bunnyx sort of implied that).

[urbestestwindgod]

epic the musical sagas 1-7 song rating tw i have bad taste

1. keep your friends close—this shouldnt be a shocker this was the song that after knowing abt epic but noy having tiktok at the time to be able to see its progress n stuff i didnt know much abt it n listening to the songs out of order was confusing but the moment i hesrd this enchanting melody i was a fan fan downloading tiktok just for the updates from jorge this has been my unbeatable favorite for a while im rlly annoying abt it as we know

2. open arms—the first released song i heard that introduced me to epic and again not knowing much abt it or how to listen to it in order in the early days (fun fact my intelligence peaked in algebra and ive never been that smart abt anything else ever) seeing ppl talk abt polities not knowing he died was kinda scary like wdym this cutie goes to “the wrong club”?? :(

3. suffering—its fun n ody gets to talk to his wife what do u want from me

4. scylla—AHHHHHHHHHH i fold over and seize every time those strings start after the “hello”

5. ruthlessness—like the idea of poseidon man handling him what can i say WHAT DO YOU W A N T from meee

6. wouldnt you like—i would i would

7. remember them—hes so dumb i lovw him

8. lucky runs out—if iii wasnt overstimulated rn i could gather my thoughts and explain this but unfortunately i am a student

9. storm—this and luck runs out are twins in my head and heart

10. polyphemus—THATS MY CYCLOPS!!! HELL YEA!!!

11. legendary—very good, love how telemachus sings like an adolescent love his dreams and love him unfortunately it IS in the same saga as….her

12. little wolf—I THOUGHT WE WOULD ALL AHIP HIM AND ANTINOUS AFTER THIS AONG BC THERES TENSION GUYS I SWEAR WDYM ITS CONTROVERSIAL :(

13. no longer you—if i could dance i would dance to this, with air probably but still

14. full speed ahead—need this song spoonfed to me while i bang on the table like a toddler in a highchair

15. the horse and the infant—NEOPTOLEMUS MENTIONED??? AHHH!!!!

16. different beast—lovely lovely lovely his voice is so

17. survive—oooo uhhhh

18. mutiny—it shocks me every time somehow

19. monster—should be higher but i forgor abt it srry—yeayea great song kick my feet to it wvery tim

20. warrior of the mind—greek son and thought daughter (was funnier in my head)

21. my goodbye—she leaved :(

22. puppeteer—if circe (odyssey) didnt plague my view of circe (epic) i would like her songs more sorry guys

23. done for—is it baaaaadddd that i dont have many thoughts on this :(

24.there are other ways—IM SURE THERE ARE CIRCE IM SURE THERE ARE

25. thunder bringer—again this was meant to be higher but i was gonna put it somewhere special and forgor :(

26. the underworld—oh ouch ouch ouch ouchie ouch

27. god games—THE SNIPPET OF THIS WAS THE FIRST EPIC SONG I EVER HEARD AND KICKSTARTED A GREEK MYTHOLOGY PHASE THAT MY FAMILY WILL NEVER FORGIVE JORGE FOR. apollos part was so short tho 😔 sigh…

28. just a man—I LIKE IT I JUST NEVER REMEMBER IT AGHHHHH I LOVE IT THO I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR

29. we’ll be fine—OMFGOMFGOMFG unfortunately it is right before….yeaaaa

30. love in paradise—OH EWEWEWEWEWEW i would like this a lot more if people didnt act like calypso deserved to feel happiness or joy or pleasure or even life? idn where this unbridled hatred for her comes from i dont feel this way about way worse characters BUT I WANT EVERY DEATH IN THE ILIAD DONE TO CALYPSO FIVE TIMES EACH CALYPSO WHEN I CATCH UR ASS—its not even about odysseus anymore ody get in the car mama has business to attend to WHEN IM NOT SORRY FOR LOVING U COMES OUT I WILL SHAKE MY HEAD IN DISAPPOINTMENT AND and gently and discreetly remove it from my epic playlist :3 i block everyone i see who talks positively about her genuinely she ruins my day. i know shes not real but still the concept of her makes me physically shake in anger sometimes in the middle of my perfectly normal day SHE SUCKS I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER SO FUCKING MUCH dont ask me why i dont know why but just just put me in a room with her and every weapon ever ever made that would be wish fulfillment for me

saga rating is ocean, thunder, cyclops, troy, underworld, circe, wisdom (and depending on how im not sorry for loving u goes justr know vengeance is going in eighth)

anyways uhm im a little manic this week but i hope i didnt make u hate me TOO much with this i am aware that my taste in everything is bad my favorite food is plain butterless angel hair noodles ans my favorite drink is water, my favorite color is green, my favorite animal is probably frogs bc most animals give me the heebie jeebies, and my favorite book is frankenstein thanks for being here i love u :3

[dee-morris]

An Overdue Rant and a Christmas Fic

I wrote this Hallmark AU last December. It was supposed to be a jokey little one-shot, but man it ate my brain. My average daily word count is 500-1k words a day, and I think I was doing 2k to 5k a day until it was done. I couldn't fuckin stop, and it was glorious.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43616245/chapters/109670092

This is very important to me, because I came to fanfic like a dying traveler comes to an oasis. After the pandemic I became deeply depressed and I developed chronic writer's block. Marketing was an uphill slog, and not being able to go out and socialize at events made it unbearable. When I did go out, the anxiety I felt about COVID made it not fun. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to write again.

Writing fanfiction was a welcome reprieve from all that: no deadlines! No SEO! No depressingly tiny royalty statements! Positive reinforcement with no dollar signs attached! So it was nice, it was fun, but I didn't really get my groove back until I wrote HallMark. That wasn't just fun. That was drive. That was passion. And it was glorious.

After it was done and posted, I couldn't forget about it. I had to know what it was about that story that grabbed me by the brain cells like that. So I went back and read it again, and I read the comments (thank you all kind people you're the best), and I realized that it was about Aziraphale and Crowley, but it was really about my feelings towards how children are raised.

*I'm not going to completely spoil the fic here, but feel free to go read it before we get further bc I'm about to discuss some thematic elements.*

Crowley is raising the Antichrist to be the destroyer of worlds on the surface, but underneath it he cares about the world, and he cares about Adam too. And that is the side of him that Adam responds to, and why he turns out the way he does. And that's what parents don't understand about children. They are only kind of listening to your words. What they respond to, and what nurtures them, is your behavior towards them and towards the world you're raising them in. If you tell your kid that Jesus loves everyone and we should help the poor, but you vote for people who will cut welfare bc you think you'll get a tax break and a new boat, your kid sees you. If you tell your kid that it's a sin to judge others but you glare at a tall woman going into the ladies room bc you think she might be trans, your kid sees you. They might grow up to be an asshole or they might grow up to think that you're one, but either way you lose.

And if you tell your kid that his destiny is to destroy the world and that living things are fit only to be ground under his heels, but you make him sandwiches and worry about him when he's out of your sight and buy him stupid Christmas crap because it makes him happy, your kid might not turn out as evil as you thought.

(don't actually tell your kid he's the Antichrist, btw, this fic is hyperbole for symbolic thematic purposes and not a parenting guide)

Anyway, my point is if you love your kid and treat him right, if you treat other people right, and give him a stable home and maybe a dog if you can afford it, he'll probably turn out pretty much okay. The rest is just flavor.

Parents stress too much about things that don't matter, but it's not our fault. You have to run the gauntlet a couple of times before you can filter out stuff that matters from stuff that doesn't, because the books and guides and parenting classes will just try to scare you about everything. Let me assure you that your baby does not give two shits if you feed with breast or bottle. But your child will remember whether you were happy, and whether you took pleasure in their presence in your life.

So what sucked me in about this fic was the reversal of what I've seen in the real world. My brain conjured a fantasy of someone who's a good parent despite themselves, instead of a bad parent with a church habit and a fat bank account. Of course I had to bring that fantasy into the world. It's how things become real.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Can I ask you to list a couple things you do like about the show? Or the actors? Or the characters? Or heck anything 911 related? Because it seems like you and your other anons don’t like anything to do with any aspect of it at all from the writers down to the smallest of storyline details 😅

which at that point is probably a good time to step back and stop engaging with it either temporarily or permanently since all it’s gonna do is continue to feed into the negativity your having over it since nothing seems to be bringing you joy about it.

can yall not read? like seriously can yall not read the words when i say “i am not goign to watch season 8 until something good happens”

i feel like a goddamn parrot on here when people like you keep coming into my inbox with this same fucking “maybe you should step back” thing like yeah that’s what i have been fucking saying????

im not going to stop interacting with my friends on here- that’s out of the question. i still love being involved in the fanfic community and i still love the first 5 seasons of the show, but im not going to lie and say that i have been pleased with the most recent installments. if you actually took the time to read my blog and what i talk about you would see that i adore eddie and his queer subtext. i adore buddie as a ship, probably to a crazy degree. i love henren, and bathena, and madney. josh russo is literally one if my favorite canonically queer characters on tv.

i adore this cast with the exception of the talentless nepo baby half the fandom wanna suck the dick of (god knows why other than he’s a fugly white man who kissed their favorite white boy) i love seeing them interact with each other outside of the show.

can i ask you what the writers have given us to actually enjoy the past two seasons? other than the madney wedding? nothing else has been decently written, or taken the story in a positive direction. yeah, we got bi buck but he’s in a relationship with a literal misogynistic racist man who has had repeatedly treated buck horribly with no acknowledgement whatsoever. so no, i don’t like the writers or tim minear at the moment because they have had every opportunity to usher in something positive for eddie, but no bc tim “this show is a drama” minear would rather give the happy plots to his white characters while running his poc characters through more unnecessary trauma and pain (with the exception of chimney, although his happy plotline only happened after he was near-fatally sick an entire episode and bobby whose plotline was centered around a black man’s trauma being dug up and thrown in his face)

the earlier season of this show were such a joy to watch live when it felt like there was actually care going into it from the showrunners and writing team, but lately it’s just them throwing darts at whatever wack-ass drama plot they can think of.

this cast works too fucking hard for the vapid shit they get given to act out each week.

which is why i (once again, in case you were about to gloss over this) I AM NOT WATCHING SEASON EIGHT UNTIL SOMETHING IS DONE TO FIX THE MESS THEY MADE

perhaps writing it in bold, italicized caps will make it easier for you to get it through your head.

and as far as “my anons” if you actually had enough confidence in your message, then why are you hiding behind anon, hm?

i have said multiple times i love interracting with my friends and fandom content that doesn’t have to do with spec. i have said multiple times im holding off on season 8. i have never said i hate the cast or i hate every single plotline the show has ever had, but you know what i did hate? how s6 and s7 turned the show into a fucking ooc mess. it is within my rights as a fan to dislike a season of a show for valid reasons.

what’s not okay is you coming into my inbox repeatedly saying “take a break” when i’ve said multiple fucking times that i plan to rather than just blocking me if youre so offended by people agreeing with me that the show is at a make it or break it point.

please kindly take yourself out of my space if you’re not going to actually take the time to read the words i post and just immediately send me anonymous hate because you didn’t like my posts

[decepti-thots]

for so long I have felt like a weirdo for thinking that the jro pregnancy stuff is deeply unhorny. but I am going to say it now: it's only horny in the way that the alien franchise is horny: there are definitely people who are horny about it, but it's primarily about the non-sexy aspects of pregnancy. i get that it's a funny joke but a non-insignificant people genuinely act like it's "the writer's barely disguised fetish". birth is weird and scary and fascinating, even more so in robots. im probably more defensive about this than I should be but it's kind of upsetting to me that this is where the discussion always ends

I'll put this under a cut so as not to spam anyone's dash bc yeah I went off on this ask haha (positive).

I actually felt so insane about this very topic I ran a damn poll on my NSFW sideblog and the thing is: the majority of folks voting agreed no, it's not inherently, textually horny. (I would know; I know horny when I see it, ffs!) Which vindicated me! Because I agree it's so ridiculous a thing to unironically, sincerely insist is super horny, given the text, lmao.

Like, it's extremely obsessed with pregnancy, but this is not the same as 'a fetish', and tbqh I think the 'fetish' joke just shields any actually interesting discussion of what it's doing. I think the Alien comparison here is actually really telling; it's absolutely a visceral thing, a thing concerned with the body and how it functions, sometimes against our will. And it's not unconnected to sexuality or eroticism in how those things are discussed more broadly, in the sense it's talking about a thing that intersects with those elements in the abstract, but it's not. Like. It's not a "fetish" thing, and if the characters it involved weren't referred to as 'he' in text I think less people would be calling it that, and actually it kinda sucks that every time I bring it up I have to block people who see 'pregnancy mentioned' on my completely sfw posts as an excuse to go off on their personal fetishes in detail, or their desire to speculate on the imagined fetishes of the writer in equally graphic detail. (BTW, it's genuinely uncomfortable seeing people obsessively speculate on the imagined fetishes of a creator, I think. We should all do that a little less in public.)

I mean not to be a total killjoy or anything but like... treating pregnancy in itself, even in the most abstract way, as inherently fetishistic and inappropriate (the people reblogging my innocuous posts about pregnancy metaphors with fucking trigger warnings! 'mpreg trigger warning' being a normalized way to tag pictures that are just Trans Dude Who Is Pregnant!) is uh. I mean we live in a world where pregnant people are often massively marginalized by society period, and seen as somehow inappropriate for public life, and especially anyone who is remotely GNC. Like the idea that something is inherently obscene about a pregnant person is, shall we say, not apolitical. It is in fact a thing that people actually have to fight against in real life. I mean. Fandom doing this to a text that in fact is most notable for treating pregnancy weirdly neutrally in these terms is... frustrating! I think we all lose out when we refuse to engage with weird, funny texts that have things to say about these topics that fall outside our expected frameworks, like, say, 'this is A Fetish TM'. That's limiting! If we want to talk about what IDW1 phase two does with gender, we cannot do that properly if every time we talk about MTMTE we get weird about it doing sexless genderfree pregnancy metaphors, and instead make them funny mpreg jokes, tbh! IDK! Seems counter intuitive! And I genuinely think MTMTE/LL's bizarre approach to the thing is so interesting precisely because it's so odd and offputting. What if we actually examined it. I think we can find some good stuff in there, frankly.

And truly the especially frustrating thing is that the comic itself, for all it is objectively weird and hilarious and 'why the fuck is this even HERE' about it... is just never that. Like. I posted those excerpts because it IS weird and it IS wild and it IS quite funny in its way! It's alien robot body horror in a kids' cartoon franchise turned to an unexpected end! But you know what it actually manages, somehow, to never be? One: weird and misogynist about pregnancy. Two: weird and transphobic about it involving vaguely, ostensibly 'male' characters. Make all the mpreg jokes you want I guess, but MTMTE is many bizarre things but it never gives one single shit about the gender binary, and tbh I think it's genuinely kind of embarrassing the fandom saw a comic that did insane robot body horror pregnancy shit and was like. Okay well. But the mpreg tho.

Like. I've joked for years that I want to do a transmasc read of the pregnancy stuff Roberts did in TF seriously, same as I think a transmasc read of how Alien presents fears around "male pregnancy" in a trans context would be great. And for all my jokes, I genuinely would, actually. I think it's legit very interesting how Roberts manages to divorce the presentation of horror of pregnancy from gender in a way that mitigates the gendered subtext somewhat and gets at the loss of autonomy in a broader sense.

anyway it truly sucks that fandom is so fucking shitty about this. to give a little extra context, i talk about a particular transmasc humanformer AU sometimes that involves pregnancy and. i have had to Delete Some Fucking Asks about that thing, which. well that happens in normal regular real life and people talk about it like a fanfic trope (derogatory). so. i am a little sensitive to people getting Like This about the topic, aha.

sorry i went off on one anon, can you tell. i also find this frustrating. i relate. i am totally with you. god it would be so much less interesting to read it as horny so like, why is this the ONLY MODE we seem to have tbh

[sergeifyodorov]

maybe i’m misunderstanding this whole conversation (and i truly apologize if i am, i got into the hrpf sphere post kane era and i don’t want to seem confrontational here) but isn’t it fair for people to not want to write about people who have been accused of/investigated for s/a?? i’m on board with everything else mentioned in that long post but that one just. didn’t sit with me right. kane being accused of assault isn’t really him being Messy it was a criminal allegation and warrants isolation from fandom works (imo). i just feel we can be more honest about the fucked up less woobifyed reality of hockey without making kane the mascot for it (if that makes sense, sorry)

i think i both agree with you and think you might be misinterpreting that post a little bit?

okay first, what i saw from that addition had a lot less to do with kane Specifically and was a lot more about him as an example of... generally two different kind of movements, if that makes sense? (the "these are horrible people" trend vs the cleaner one, which sid was the leading example of.) im also taken to believe that pre allegations he was the most popular character within that circle and that the allegations caused people (rightfully) to not want to write about him anymore, which created a dramatic drop in that movement as a whole because of his popularity.

also from what i understand he wasn't exactly the only-distantly-problematic idealized fic character before that specific case either, he's had more than one run in with the law (arrested iirc for assaulting a cab driver over a ridiculously small amount of money, in one case at least)

i also want to post this anon bc it's kind of along the same lines

which i believe supports both the make-hrpf-nastier and the general character/person separation that is pretty much mandatory when you're writing rpf. i think we have to be careful as a rule because of this all-too common trap to idealize and woobify protagonists, and in this fandom where none of the "characters" are innocent that the nuance of understanding, empathizing with, and being entertained by someone who has thoroughly soul-sucking things wrong with them is imho important. kane's Actual Straight Up Sucking As A Person, To An Extent Beyond Everyone Else makes him a really good example and I hope that kind of clarifies why he was/is such a big part of the discussion?

okay back to agreeing. kane is absolutely incredibly awful in multiple different ways and everyone has a right to filter his tag and tell him he's a little bitch if they meet him irl (actually this one is a responsibility as well) and press the block button on my account personally if I mention him ever again if they so choose. also don't buy his jersey he makes money from that! and i do regret using him as a term to put the gore back into hrpf (and i think that I'll go back and edit that). and personally i will probably never write about him beyond a mention, or read stuff he's in that's not like a million years old.

but i also think that people should be able to engage in those themes if they want -- i think we as people have the right to make art that other people find morally reprehensible and i think we as people have the right to not involve ourselves with stuff that we find morally reprehensible.

[effervescentdragon]

Idk if you’ve answered this but I’ve stumbled upon your tumblr and I just realised your the one who wrote el amor del inframundo and I have to say it’s easily one of the best fics I’ve ever read. I’ve never been into au’s and I wasn’t into Charlos that much either until I read it and it just changed my whole perspective on them. I love that fic so much I have it open as a tab on safari, refreshing it every now and then in hopes that it gets updated (that’s how much I love it!!!) I guess my question is if you have plans on continuing it and if not could you possibly tell us a short little summery of what happens between them, I just desperately want to know what their first kiss is like🥺 (also I regularly think about the scene where they’re both high, god that was such a good scene)

Hellooooo i caught this in the mess that is my inbox! Hi, yes, i am the author of the mafia au and it makes me incredibly happy that you liked my fic that much! Thank you for all your kind words, this is the stuff we writers live for, because knowing people like sth i wrote just makes me wanna write more! 🥹🥰 so far the plan is to finish it sometime and somehow, and the stats on the next chapter are following

i have no idea how the story is going to go exactly, and im in a mini-block with my wips, but, i can share a scene from the next chapter :) as soon as the muses and brain allow, i'll work on it, bcs i have a story to tell here and i personally think it's a good one. So, excerpt from ch2 of el amor del inframundo under the cut, in which chess is a metaphor for many things :)

"Oh God, you're not playing chess with him, are you?" Mattia asked, chuckling and patting Carlos on the shoulder.

They were waiting for dinner to be served at the house of an associate, and Charles and Carlos were amusing themselves before they had to go and pretend they weren't bored out of their mind. They found a chess set in a room and were currently playing their third, winner-deciding game.

"I do," Carlos said, observing the board.

"You like to suffer, my friend," Mattia said, not moving away. "Charles likes to play, but he is not very good at it."

Carlos paused in the middle of reaching for his rook, and Charles bit back a smile. He’d seen Mattia when he caught sight of the two of them playing, and he felt a sliver of satisfaction at accurately predicting that he wouldn’t be able to stay away, eager to brag, as he always was.

"Ah, Mattia, don't deprive me of the only opponent who will still play with me," Charles said good-naturedly. Carlos raised his eyes to Charles, whose wide smile didn't show any dimples.

"Oh? You played with him?" Carlos asked, his voice even despite the turmoil behind his eyes.

"Yes," Mattia said, condescension clear in his voice. "He makes rash moves, otherwise he wouldn't lose so quickly. Probably would still lose as often."

"He loses to you," Carlos said more than asked. Charles wanted to kiss him for it, or suck his dick, anything really, to show him how fucking arousing he found Carlos' intelligence.

"Yes. Maybe you should play with me, or Antonio, and have a real challenge," Mattia said. Charles just kept smiling, and Mattia shook his head, then walked away.

Carlos played his move in silence, observing Charles.

"You played with Mattia?"

"Yes," Charles said, moving his queen. "And Antonio, and probably everyone in, ah, management."

"And you lost?"

"Yes," Charles said, tapping one of Carlos' white pawns he ate before on the table. "To all of them."

Carlos moved his pawn. Charles countered with his knight. Carlos narrowed his eyes. He reached for his queen, then reconsidered and moved his rook.

Charles grinned, and ate Carlos' rook with his queen.

"Check-mate," he said, grin wide and unrepentant, because he knew Carlos wouldn't have been able to see the trap Charles had set up for him before it was too late.

Carlos pushed the white king in front of him down just as Mattia passed them again, Giovinazzi on his heels. Just like a good dog should, Charles thought unkindly.

"I guess you're an even worse player than Charles, Carlos, if you're losing to him," he said, and both he and Giovinazzi laughed. Charles kept a good-natured smile on his face, chuckling a little.

"Yes," Carlos said, looking straight into Charles' eyes, his gaze clear and calculating and filled with understanding. "I guess I am."

Charles dimpled back at him.

"Another game?"

Carlos smiled back slowly, slyly, and nodded.

[manonamora-if]

i dont know if u feel up for it to answer but like... how do u handle negative comments and ratings and just people being negative about ur stuff? bc i have someone just being rude in comments or like notes and game folders on itch and its making me want to just delete everything and never show anyone anything anymore. or even have an acocunt on itch either.

Hi Anon,

I'm sorry you've been dealing with this, and that it took me so long to answer. I've been thinking about this for a while honestly. I've been writing a bunch of drafts for this one, because my answer seems to change with the day or my mood. Some of my stuff have had some strange interactions lately that's made me question whether I should stay on itch myself. I mean, I don't think I'll ever leave... there are too many fun jams I want to participate and, you know, to force people to play my weird stuff. But I've been more anxious about new stuff or updates I share recently.

I don't blame you for wanting an out. Some users will poison one's experience of a platform, that even opening the site would give them anxiety. It doesn't take much to have events or projects soured. Often, just a few rude words is enough to make accounts disappear without a word. And many platform don't have good safety nets (blocking, moderation, reports) to temper or avoid these situations. Many will have half-ass solutions that, at the end of the day, still allows interactions from blocked users. It's easy to wonder if all of this is worth it...

Anyway, the very boring and short answer to your question: it depends.

The probably as boring and long one is a bit of a ramble:

It depends on the day, or the mood I have. It's easier to deal with comments when I'm confident and things are going find; but I'd feel more hurt or have a harder time dealing with them when I'm a bit more morose (I think most people feel this way). I'll disregard any (even barely) negative points some days, only to take it into consideration a few days later. <- this especially during jam/comps time, just need time to digest criticism of any kind.

It also depends on the content of the comment, their tone, and intent of the commenter. Not all negative comments are on the same level. I've had negative comments in the past where the commenter was genuine, and really gave my stuff a shot, bringing interesting points or important concerns. And though it hurt a bit, because being told you made a mistake sucks, those helped me grow. But those are the good kinds of comments...

On the other hand, I try to disregard the trolls, and the abusive comments (towards my work or me), the ones where the engagement was clearly not done in good faith... you know, the ones who will literally tell me I've made the world worse by uploading my games on itch. Doesn't mean that it doesn't affect me at all*. Some of them really hurt or made me angry and frustrated, some have lingered for hours or days in my mind, a few made me close to delete stuff as well. Words are not just empty things without meaning... *I've had to block a few people both here and other places recently because of it, they had become so insistent on wanting to engage with me while bashing most of my work, my values or the few aspects of my identity that I've shared online.

It would be easy to say I just don't give them the time of day or any of my energy, or that I pretend they don't exist, because, if I do, then the trolls win. But that would be lying. Obviously.

Screaming to the void/a pillow or ranting to friends have helped get rid of my anger and frustration. I've laughed with others about some comments I got (usually the bad faith ones, some of them are funny in how sad/bad they were). I think what worked best for me was just turn off the computer and go outside for a bit. Or turned off the internet and play silly games on my phone. Or picked up a book. Or watch a movie. Essentially, any activity that would distract me from it and force me to take a break. And when none of this worked, because some trolls are just that insistent, blocking/deleting stuff*. *unfortunately, it's not always possible, see second paragraph again.

It does suck that you're kinda forced to grow a thicker skin to enjoy or even exist in those spaces, and I wish those would be friendlier... but I don't think social platforms/the internet is going in that direction anytime soon.

Maybe not super helpful to your decision, but borogove.io hosts IF games (without ratings or comments, though people can download the files), so does the IFDB through the IFArchive (but there are ratings/reviews there, also can be downloadable). I've seen other peeps host their stuff on neocities (no ratings/comments). None of those platforms are like itch, in the positives or the negative. Or just be old school, and email stuff.

[starjxsung]

hi hi baby!! how are you?

i saw that you got ateez tickets!!! how exciting!! did you end up getting vip?👀👀👀

spirited away and howl’s moving castle are my absolute most comforting ghibli movies. buuuut i think my fav is probably princess mononoke, i just think it’s sooooo beautiful and sad. but i love them all so much (except earwig, we don’t claim her). i can literally talk about studio ghibli for hours nonstop.

i hope thinking of me when you see baku is a good thing for you bc that’s so sweet😭 we need more baku representation. i went to hot topic today and saw a wallet that had kuromi and him<3 the revolution is starting

ahhhh i didn’t know you got a bbokari & han quokka <3 we love that for you! i really want to get one of each eventually. but i really want a han quokka or dwaekki next. i love the fact that you crochet clothes for them😭

the situation with your professor too, like wtf bro. i hate professors that don’t have an ounce of empathy. they forget they’re freaking human too. i really don’t like that, in my case it really sucks because she’s a literal licensed psychologist. so she should AT LEAST as a part of her competencies comprehend that people have personal problems. she also gave us the hardest time yesterday for the work that none of us submitted (that was due at the start of the semester) because we didn’t send it in. when she was the one that didn’t open or even publish it so we could submit it. she said it must’ve been a problem with the platform (we also use the platform for our courses and it can be messy but it doesn’t just remove content just because). like, she couldn’t even admit that it was her own error too. like honestly, i hate this whole ego trip that professors live in. like, what possesses them. but yeah, whatever, she’s one of the main directors of the program so imma have like a million other courses with her so i can’t really be an asshole to her too or she’ll try to fail me probs <3

anyways bb thanks for your support! i really appreciate it so much! thanks for always giving us a safe space here. i’m feeling better now and a bit more hopeful. i love you and appreciate you, pls know that im always here for you too<3

(and fuck ch*rlie p*th <3, i feel bad for skz bc i love them but im not supporting this featuring at all either. they just get thee worst collabs like tommy hilfiger is such a shitty brand, coca cola sucks and now this bish. they can’t catch a break)

i love you darling! i hope you’re well and taking care of yourself <3

-🐈‍⬛

HI BABYYYYY ATEEZ TICKETS SECUREDDDDD I’m going to Oakland and then flying to LA the same week to see them again!!!! And then I leave a week later for lollapalooza LMFAOAOOFFJFJ IT IS GOING TO BE A HECTICCCCC WEEK BUT IM SOOOOO EXCITED 🫶

Princess Mononoke is a fucking masterpiece oh my got and the SOUNDTRACK…….. probably one of the best scores I’ve ever listened to 😭 ALSO EARWIG HOLY FUCKKKK I block that movie out of my memory because it’s so bad 😭 what were they thinking!!!! I kept thinking it was gonna go somewhere and it just never did and then it just ended HWELLOPPPO IT’S SO FUNNY NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT ??!:?:?:? 😭

I love my skzoos !!!! I’ll send pics when I crochet them more clothes (in several months bc I’m lazy🫶)

Professors LOOOOOVE to sit on their high horse and act like they want you to succeed and then pull the most out of pocket shit ever that’s a literal recipe for failure. And then they wonder why so many people fail their class 😀 absolutely insane that a licensed psychologist wouldn’t think mental health to be a legitimate issue, but I digress! Professors are always right and everything they do is correct! They certainly know how to use online platforms for work submission too! 🙃 WILD. I hope she doesn’t pull that shit again and I’m so sorry you have to deal with her for more courses ☹️ I’m rooting for you so hard and you’re always welcome to shit talk her on here WE HATE BAD PROFESSORS ON BLOGGGG™️ 🫶🫶🫶

Oh my god finally someone else who also hates Tommy Hilfiger RAHHHH their founder is apparently super racist too ???? And their clothes are somehow unnecessarily expensive for being so boring and colorless. Idol fashion has gotten so boring I miss when idols would wear weird and colorful streetwear fashion 😭

I LOVE YOU BBYYYYY it’s almost the end of the week hang in there my love !!!! 🫶💓💕💗💞💖💘

[first-mistake-forever-more]

how do u get out of a hole if u have no inspiration¿ u may hav answered this before nd i justdidnt see it idk

hey gringly sorry i didnt respond to this earlier I wrote out a response like two Weeks ago & shut down my laptop without posting it this post mit b a tiny bit controversial but I;ll talk from personal experience i think having no inspiration normally actually means either being distracted(which is fine)or you not wanting to deal with the Pain that comes with creation(most of us are vry pain averse) i say this because both happen to me sometimes A lot of times I dont want 2 draw or whtvr because I dread the process of plugging everything in and starting the software just for the ideas that come in to suck a lil and just really end up not feeling very good about my abilities or creativity(this is pain) But usually the only time that actual creative ideas can flow freely is when youre actually there trying to channel them

at the moments in which ur in tune with this creative part of your mind, ideas will always come and go even when you're not creating(rfor example taking a shower is one of these moments for most ppl ), but if you don't get to these points often then you have to put in the effort to get your brain to the point in which it is thinking about these artistic solutions and concepts, and you get there by creating.. & yr first idea will probably suck so Bad Lol but then you'll be free to start channeling other ideas it's possible that no good ideas come & this can be for a lot of reasons but probbaly bc youre still finding your own specific voice & dont completely know what u want to be creating or just bc yr tired So what I'm trying to say is that you should probably try making music or art even when you're not inspired because,first of all you will most likely always learn Something, and because you'll most likely get inspired while creating also You NEED to deal with your ideas bc letting ideas fester & marinate in your mind blocks new ideas from coming in, and then you lose those original ideas because you didn't put them out anywhere, so you just feel really bad, So it's important that you try to work even when "not inspired" Art can be painful and u have to learn to deal w this pain instead of constantly escaping it I think if we constantly try to avoid this pain this can actually be detrimental to us in th long run. (tw opinion)i observeThere's a big culture of self care in this regard that I don't completely vibe with(at least not as a professional, I'm sure it has helped a lot of other people). I think it makes people weaker against struggles of the real creative process oh & I'd like to state that this is just how I deal with art personally as a professional. it might not be what's best for you if you dont actually Need to b creating art to survive(sorry) but it is good i think if yr an artist to experience this constant need to put something out into the world even if ur not interested in Like turning art into your paycheck haha ty for the ask