#I should become a religious fanatic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

multifunctionalnitroglycerin · 6 months ago

Text

The Radiant Dawn, Leona of the Solari – an analysis

Leona, Leona, what to do with you, oh Radiant Dawn, daughter of the Sun-forgers? You who scorn love so, in the face of duty?

What with the latest season of Arcane having fully come out, and many of us still grasping to comprehend the ending of that wonderful series (I will maintain that it’s probably one of the best pieces of media I have ever had the joy of consuming), I got to thinking about another military dictator that leads a scourge against her lover’s people. So, strap in and grab your drinks, cause this is going to be a long one.

I have seen some funny posts juxtapositioning Violyn/ Caitvi and Leodia, and while one cannot deny the first glance similarities in the stories, especially with the new route Piltover’s finest took, the premise of their stories is at its core different. BUT today we will not explore the similarities and differences in the premise of the broader systems that both stories take place in, but rather take a deeper look into our beloved obstacle of a Targonian “cult leader”, Leona.

Now Leona’s character in league is rather…unremarkable at first glance. More of an obstacle than a worthy adversary, a mindless cultist that perpetuates the oppression against her peoples’ sister tribe, too blind to see past that, even when her lover begs her to. Personally, I prefer to think of Leona as an unremarkable character with remarkable potential, should Riot decide to ever do anything with it. The roots of a good story have already been planted. Because yes, in Arcane we also talked about oppression, class stratification, abuse of power, and a twisted corrupt judicial system, but now, in Targon, we’ll talk about cults.

I am no expert, but cultism and totalitarian regimes do have a few common points in the way they function, thus the perceived similarities between the two storylines. However, I feel in the hands of capable writers the Targonian storyline can become a beautiful story about religious fanatism, and cultism, the struggle of individuality, and how challenging it is to escape from them, if at all… (I do like some tragic lesbians, sue me. A happy ending that does justice to the inherent tragedy of those two will have to be earned, and if a tragic ending is what does them justice, I will accept it.)

It’s high time we got this party started though, isn’t it?

Leona is born in the Solari tribe of Targon, a tribe that venerated the Sun more than any other upon the mountain. Which at first glance seems innocent enough, right?

Cults in principle, and to my limited understanding, are authoritarian systems that revolve around a particular belief, that have rules and dogma and encourage their members to isolate themselves from would-be questioners of their faith. By taking a look at what we know about the Solari, most of these terms seem to be fulfilled. An authoritarian system based around the worship of the Sun, with strict rules, rigid principles, and rituals, led not by one charismatic leader, as many cults are, but by a council of elders, that determine what is acceptable and what not in Her worship. While they also take care to mindfully curate the available information in the temple and discourage or silence those that oppose their teachings.

Leona is a child born to the Sun-forgers Melia and Iasur, and takes to her parents’ faith with a stride, comfortable in its rigidity and its unrelenting structures. She is reportedly as seen both through her bio and the letter to her parents in “Rise with me”, a near perfect acolyte, her devotion, and excellence in seemingly everything but that one oration class, inspiring envy in her peers, and admiration in her elders, all of them certain that she would one day become a Ra’Horak, a holy warrior of the Solari.

The thing is, that children growing up in cults are a tricky thing to write despite its supposed straightforwardness. Especially if you want to create a character as complicated as I hope Leona will turn out to be. The basics of it are things we already know; children are extremely vulnerable to adult influence; their minds are sponges and their parents’ world is their world. They listen, observe and absorb the behavior, the views and opinions of the people around them, and accept them as reality, because they are children and do not know any better. As one might imagine, the extent of fanatism that Leona grew up with is variable, depending on how her own parents acted and how deep in they were themselves. Now I am a bit rusty on Rakori and Targonian lore, but if we take the short story “Rise with me” into account, I think it is safe to say that Melia and Iasur were in pretty deep.

Another thing to note about children that grow up in cults is that the cult leader and the cult’s needs come first. Which means that the child rarely enjoys their parents’ attention, much less love and affection. Something that in my humble opinion would drive some of them to strive for perfection and trying to satisfy their parents’ every wish and every whim, in hope of getting even a hint of affection. That is something we can see rather clearly in the story if we want to examine a bit Leona’s relationship with her Dayblessed parents.

Before we dive into that, however, what we can summarize from all of the above is that Leona is, in principle, a person that likes rules. Someone that grew up heeding them. That thrives in hierarchical systems, and well-structured environments, with clear denominations for right and wrong, for what one should and should not do. According to the bio this rigidity brings her comfort, and solace. Because it is familiar and comfortable. It’s what in all probability she grew up with. Moreover, Leona is a perfectionist. Something we are told, through her bio, and her own letters and diary, but we can also see when looking at her through the lens of Diana’s eyes.

To continue with my previous point, though, when looking at her relationship with her parents…well, I’ll let you figure this out on your own. We only have her diary entries and letters sent and unsent to garner information from, but that is enough to paint a detailed enough picture of what her relationship with her parents entails. Even without looking at it from the “child that grew up in a cult” angle, we can see there is little affection between them. Even from her first letter, we can feel the clean-cut, prim and proper courteousness of their communication, accompanied by the hints of affection every child holds for their parents. It is, however, far from warm, or heartfelt. It seems more like kind interest, than any real investment, in her parents’ or siblings’ wellbeing and then proceeds to become a report on her achievements and perceived weaknesses. Even the title of the section, the opening of the letter, “Letter from a devoted daughter” holds no personality, as if Leona’s entire being can be compressed and described by those two words.

We do get a similar impression from the letter Polymnius sent to Melia and Iasur. The letter itself contains the priest’s thanks for the new lanternglass crafted by the sun-forger, and also devolves to a report of Leona’s progress after his communication with all of her instructors, and his observation of her skills in battle. Now on the one hand, Polymnius could be just a family friend or the priest responsible for communicating with the acolytes’ families. On the other hand however, one might start questioning just how much control Leona’s parents can exert over her life, even in their absence. Do they hold sway with the priesthood? Are their immense expectations passed on through priests and teachers, adding more and more to the pressure Leona faces every day? To be strong, devout, worthy and good? And again, the letter ends with “I know you would be proud.” I am sure they would Polymnius, I am sure they would.

At this point I’d like to point out that he is probably the only person that worries that Leona is taking her duties far too seriously and needs to take a few steps back to relax and delight in the Sun’s gifts. (And honestly, same.)

Moving forward we have the Letter from Sunsworn Priestess Nemyah to a shining pupil, that once more applauds Leona for her achievements, with little to no fanfare. And again we note that sense of depersonalization, of Leona being defined by those characterizations, by her achievements, her rights and wrongs.

And then of course we get into the fight between Leona and Diana and the disciplinary letter sent to her by her parents. Which honestly goes about as well as you would expect,

We know that you are capable of better and expect you to rise to the occasion. Leaders in Her Light do not run into impediments that they cannot overcome, nor do they get hindered by such earthly mischief as “a shouting match at school.”

And of course

…will speak with you about how better to secure your future then.

So much for parental love… If anything, it’s a declaration of disappointment, with clear expectations and measures to be met, We know you are better than this, we expect you to be better than this, leaders do not fumble. Sounds particularly loving, doesn’t it? Definitely not like they worry about their reputation, and their image in the community more than their daughter’s wellbeing and most certainly not like they have her future already decided for her. A future they can benefit from, of course.

I will try to keep this at a reasonable length and will not overly analyze Leona’s own unsent replies, for they are pretty straightforward. They are characterized by Leona’s anxiety, fear and guilt for disappointing her parents and failing to reach the tremendous expectations they have set for her.

So to sum this part up, Leona was raised by overly strict parents, in an environment in which she received little to no affection and positive reinforcement, even for her achievements that far exceeded those of her peers. She has also been burdened with a set of rather impossible expectations, that she strives to reach no matter what. We saw that Iasur and Melia are quick to discipline her and voice their disappointment, rather rancidly might I say, and yet made little to no mention of Leona’s multiple achievements that have been noted by multiple instructors as well as Polymnius. As for Leona herself, one might say she is afraid to be herself and express her own thoughts. Even when she writes a letter that truly encompasses her thoughts and feelings, in that same letter she resolutely states that she will not send it.

So insofar we have an affection-starved, rule-loving perfectionist, that probably hasn’t had any positive reinforcement since she was like 5 and has her parents and everyone around her connect and define her worth as a person though her personal achievements and services in Her light. It would be safe to assume that from a point on, Leona herself starts putting herself in those boxes, limiting her sense of self and worth to the glass ceiling of their expectations, adding more and more expectations on herself, back bending further and further back, until inevitably reaching her breaking point. And of course, this is all she has ever known. The rules, the hierarchy, the expectations, the dogma, is what she grew up with, is what feels familiar, and in a twisted sense, “right”. We could thus somewhat explain why Leona holds her duty in such high regard. She has come to define herself and her worth as a person, through it. It’s all she has ever really known.

Not to say that things are as bleak as they seem at first glance. For there is one shining light in Leona’s life, one guiding beacon that tries to break her out of the glass cage, at least at the point in time when Rise With Me takes place, and it is none other than Diana.

Now, according to Leona’s bio, she saw in Diana an ever-curious spirit devoted to the search for meaning, and the truth, and that’s sth that holds up in the short story as well. Diana’s ingenuity and unique perspective of things, her being the one dissonant voice in the harmonious chorus of the elders’ teachings, intrigue young Leona.

When looking into the respective missives that Leona sends to Diana in respects of their shared oration class, starting from the first one even, we can see that despite all the greatness she has achieved, all her triumphs, and graces, she remains shy, and humble. Even knowing that she is amongst the best of her peers, and the priests’ favorites, she does not brag, does not demand, does not exert any power or control. Instead, she approaches her faults humbly and asks for Diana’s – the outcast’s - help in a respectful manner. She does not let her shortcomings define her or hinder her. She recognizes them as something to improve, and humbly asks for help from someone she believes she can benefit from, someone that will help, and not just shower her with mindless praise. She recognizes Diana’s ingenuity and applauds her argument construction; while pledging to help her in return should Diana need assistance herself.

Leona is humble and kind. Though to a certain degree we might even consider her having a bit of a people pleasing attitude accompanied by a slight lack of confidence. Perfectionists as a rule hate making mistakes or seeming inadequate. It’s a big blow in their confidence and the sense of self they have constructed around the concept of said perfection. After living for so long in an environment of such heavy expectations, it’s no wonder one might start second-guessing themselves, no matter how good they are, even for the smallest of mistakes.

Back to Leona though, she is humble, kind and considerate, perhaps even to a fault. There is this sense of her not wanting to impose on Diana’s schedule, on which she rather insists. She doesn’t want to be trouble, she does not want to be a burden, and of course she then offers her own help in return should it be needed, which is the decent and honorable thing to do.

Leona’s diary entry where she considers asking Diana to the festival is what also gives us a glimpse of the person behind the armor, behind the rule abiding student, behind the mask of achievements and perfection. To no surprise, we get a more in depth perspective of Leona’s own thoughts and feelings, as long as her take on “how to ask the girl I like out without coming across like a total fool, or indoctrinating asshole?” She is anxious, thoughtful and tender, considerate and sweet in her approach, and a little bit hopeless, but I think we can forgive her. She is downright smitten and hasn’t realized how much just yet. She even goes through with one of her plans to ask Diana to practice with the shields, and well, forgive me if I say it is adorable.

Diana’s presence in Leona’s life and story, however, is not important because the will-be Aspect of the Sun is absolutely smitten with her, or even because she encompasses the total opposite of what Leona is (which let’s be honest, she doesn’t. They are complimentary to one another, not opposites), but because Diana makes Leona think.

That’s the reason Leona approached her in the first place, her ability to think and construct cohesive and compelling arguments. Something that Leona herself is lacking in, because alongside most of the other Solari acolytes, she lacks critical thinking. An essential component of trying to construct an argument of any sort - if you do not want to parrot something you learned in a book once.

Diana’s arguments, thoughts and criticisms on their given materials have Leona thinking, examining what she is taught, and what she says in oration class herself. Diana teaches Leona how to think, she teaches her how to construct arguments, how to reinforce them, to find fallacies in arguments and counteract them. In her quest to learn how to defend her point, Leona starts learning how to look deeper into things, to examine their essence, and construct counterpoints. And we can see that she starts thinking about it, if only superficially. She doesn’t go full out critical thinking, or questioning everything she has ever known, it doesn’t work like that, but the seed has been planted. “Why do you think I need to go deeper than that when it’s widely known already?” It’s not much but it is a start to the path of critical thinking.

And then after an undetermined amount of time, comes their shared ascension. And that’s where the discrepancies in the story start. Mind you the bio was written a few years before the short story came out, so the characterization obviously is not entirely in line with what we know.

This Leona is one that debates with Diana still, but wants to persuade her not to look further into their faith, and just accept it as it is. At Diana’s sharing the secret of the alcove, Leona is a stone wall of resistance urging her friend away from the climb, afraid for her wellbeing should she inspire further ire from the Solari. When Diana inevitably climbs the mountain, and while her first instinct is to alert the elders, Leona resolves to help and protect her friend instead and follows after her into the night. Against all odds they manage to reach the peak, and she is wreathed in golden light, fighting tooth and nail to keep her sense of self intact. And she wins.

At this point, I think we can all see the difference between bio-Leona and the Leona that the short story sets the foundations of. Obviously for the sake of storytelling and with some tweaking these two could co-exist as canon versions of Leona in different times of her life. We could potentially be talking about a tragic story about how religion and blind adherence to duty and tradition drive a wedge between two people that very much love each other. Or the bio could be a bit of a “historical account” of what happened, and Leona having had to care for Diana after her punishments one too many times puts up a wall of resistance, an ultimatum of the “I don’t want to lose you” kind.

No matter the case, and despite of what Riot might decide to do to expand on their story, and either give us a critical thinking Leona, or a very good reason for not having a critical thinking Leona, the point is that Leona is incredibly loyal to those she cares about.

And now comes the point of the ascension. The critical point in their story, where instead of going with Diana, and living their happily ever after away from the system that tortured them both, albeit in completely different manners, Leona chooses to stay.

And I think sometimes when thinking about Leona, we do not always recognize that this is the point where everything is going down. This is the point where everything we have so far discussed comes into play. Because their ascension is a traumatic experience. One that upends everything Leona has ever known. The process of their ascension is traumatic, the very essence of it, bloody terrifying. Because it is a jump into the unknown. It challenges the truths that she has constructed her whole sense of self around, demolishes the very principles that she grew up enforcing.

There is this interaction in Legends of Runeterra, where Diana urges Leona to understand that Day needs Night, referencing the visions they both saw upon Targon’s peak. And what does Leona reply? “Visions from memories not my own.”

Full-blown denial. Not that I particularly blame her initial reaction. Because what is it that we have here? We have that affection-starved perfectionist that grew up in a cult, that wounded inner child that has come to tie her worth as a person to the degree of her personal achievements. We have that honorable, rule abiding, and duty loving person, a person that finds solace in strict structures and hierarchies, that thrives in them, thrown into absolute CHAOS.

You have Leona, that rule abiding idiot, that transcends her own limits that takes that one calculated risk to follow Diana and save her from the mountain’s clutches and ends up with watching a blast of divine light slamming into Diana. She goes to help, and before she can help a blast of divine light slams into her, filling her head with a second divine conscience, with visions and memories of other Sun Aspects, of times when truly the people of the mountain were united. And then the onslaught ends, and she faces a Diana different from the one she knows, a Diana dressed in the colors of the enemy.

So Leona, bearing all of the characteristics we mentioned above, is bloody terrified out of her wits. She is faced with such terrifyingly foreign notions, with such stress, that what is she going to do? She regresses back to what she already knows. And what she knows are the elders and the Solari, and the priests, the rules, the scriptures, the dogma. In face of that terrifying truth she regresses back to the perceived safety of that toxic and unhealthy system -that on top of everything is a cult- that she grew up in.

Now this brings forth this thought about ignorance. Because Leona is ignorant of the truth. She is, however, intimately familiar with the narrative she has grown up with. People are familiar with their ignorance, and oftentimes they choose to bear the ills of what they know than to fly to others that they know not of. And thus, they are cowards. (Hamlet anyone?)

Leona is a prime example of that. Instead of sitting down and considering the new information, the truth revealed, the unknown future ahead, she clings to her ignorance, to her half-knowledge of the story, because it is familiar, and safe. And she is bloody terrified of the new unknown that Diana proposes they follow.

Now that is not to say that everything we have discussed boils down to Leona is a coward. Though that is partly true. But she is also a kid that grew up in a system that fostered that kind of cowardice. She is someone that grew up in an environment of cultism and religious fanatism, and she grew up ingrained to it. Contrary to Diana as one might point out. And these are all things we need to take into account when handling a character like Leona, and care that we do not flatten such immense complexity of conditions and circumstances, such depth of thought and emotion to “brainless genocidal cultist”.

(Now if you ask, why does Diana have critical thinking, why did she not get ingrained and lost in that system despite growing up in it for as long if not longer than Leona, what is it that makes her different from the other cult kids, I have absolutely no idea, but that’s not the point of this particular post.)

To finish this off, the point of this post is not to excuse Leona of all the horrible things she has done, or even to argue that she is not a genocidal cultist- she very much is, and the point is definitely not to say that it is not her fault and she was just a product of her circumstances. We all are products of the circumstances that surround us, but we are not passive participants in those conditions. No, the point is to try and understand where Leona might be coming from, and to demonstrate that even the simplest and most obtuse of character concepts can have an intricate and complicated story behind them.

If you did manage to reach the end of this, congratulations! Have a cookie and don’t forget to hydrate!

#Leona #Leona LoL #league of legends #leona league of legends #leona x diana #Leodia #LeoDia #Diana lol #Diana LoL #Diana league of legends #character analysis #League of legends #League of legends character analysis #We don't rly give her much thought or credit honestly #This is obviously my take feel free to add to it #Did I spend three hours writing this instead of studying?#Of course I did #And it will bite me in the ass

77 notes · View notes

crossdreamers · 4 months ago

Text

Let us make Europe a safe haven for American transgender refugees (and we need your help)

A Dutch LGBTQ ally and activist hopes to turn the Netherlands into a haven for transgender refugees from the US. But he needs help. He asks transgender Americans to provide stories he can use to pressure Dutch politicians. We should strive to make more European countries places of refuge.

The battle for America's democratic soul is not over, and the pro-democracy forces may win. But transgender people have already become the scapegoats of fascists and religious fanatics. The Republican Party is doing all it can to erase trans people's existence through laws and propaganda.

It is time to prepare for the unthinkable: A transgender "underground railroad" to Europe.

There are already organizations out there that helps LGBTQ people escape from oppressive regimes, but it does not look like they have been prepared for an American trans exodus (see for instance The Rainbow Railroad and Immigration Equality).

I was recently contacted by a Dutch trans ally who calls himself Ned McRant online. His idea is to put up online resources that can help transgender Americans who need to flee to Europe, and in particular the Netherlands.

Formally it is already possible for transgender Americans to move to this country, but he wants Dutch politicians to get engaged in a pro-trans resettlement policy.

The American anti-trans policies

He writes:

"For the past fourteen years, I have closely followed political developments in the United States. What I have learned fills me with great concern—not only for that nation’s future but also for the global impact of its actions. The information I receive from reliable sources often diverges significantly from what is reported in Dutch news. My understanding of American history and politics enables me to recognize the seriousness of the threats at hand. The situation has escalated since Donald Trump’s rise to power. A major threat comes in the form of a vision called Project 2025, crafted by the Heritage Foundation, a fundamentalist Christian think tank. This manifesto is essentially a blueprint for transforming the United States into a theocracy, similar to nations like Iran but based on Christian fundamentalism. Although Trump denies involvement, he is already implementing parts of this plan. My personal investment in this issue stems from my unwavering support for the LGBTQ+ community, particularly my friendships with transgender individuals. In the U.S., "coming out" as gay or transgender has become life-threatening. Under Project 2025, the fundamental rights of transgender individuals are being systematically dismantled. In some states, there is even talk of forcing them to de-transition a horrific process that strips them of their identity and happiness. Access to essential medication like HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) is being denied, pushing many to despair and even suicide. While the Netherlands cannot stop this political madness, we can make a difference. We can offer a safe haven to those who have nowhere else to turn. Through our friendship treaty with the U.S., Americans can already settle in the Netherlands. However, specific support for LGBTQ+ refugees is lacking."

Getting stories from American trans people

Ned has sent letters to Dutch parliamentarians, making arguments similar to these. He has asked them to investigate how the country can help persecuted transgender Americans and build a support network in the Netherlands.

This approach can also be used in other European countries.

Ned says that he plans to contact them over and over again, adding stories based on the real life experiences of American trans people. To do this he needs input from transgender Americans. If you want to help, contact Ned at [email protected].

I would like input from European LGBTQ-people and allies who have knowledge and ideas about how we can help transgender refugees move to European countries. Write to [email protected] or DM Transgender World here:

Threads

Bluesky

Mastodon

As for LGBTQ people sending personal emails to people they do not personally know: I recommend that you use a separate anonymous email account for this. Yes, this also applies to emails sent to me.

We will follow up with more on this topic.

Jack Molay

See also: TGEU: "EU asylum pact fails trans and gender-diverse asylum seekers"

Illustration photo from Getty

#transgender #trans #lgbt #lgbtqa #queer #netherlands #europe #lgbtq #politics #refugees

104 notes · View notes

tf2occontest · 4 months ago

Text

Elijah King & Egon; The Assistants VS The Reverend

(Full matchup list here)

Alright team, here's a recap: This is a contest to determine who amongst you will take the top of the leaderboards and be hired at TFI! Simply put, whoever gets the most votes gets to move on, and whoever doesn't... Well. They'll be put down swiftly and cleanly. :}

So, mann your stations, because here are your next contestants! Vote for your favorite mercenary who you want to win the TF2 OC Contest! - P

OC INFO UNDER THE CUT!

We highly encourage you to take a peek to make your decision!

Elijah King & Egon; The Assistants

@gordonfreemanreal

Image credit: @/gordonfreemanreal

The Assistants, while an unassuming class, are a valuable part of not only their respective teams, but the administration! You could count Pauling herself as the Admin Assistant, but regardless, my girls are here to lend a helping hand (as their emblems suggest)! In battle, they take on a sort of subclass role with anyone who needs an extra set of hands! For example, when helping the Demos, they take on something akin to the Demoknight subclass, a Trapper to help the Snipers, a Batter to assist the Scouts, etc etc. This even goes for any 10th classes (I’m looking at you, TF3)! When not in battle, however, they usually do a lot of paperwork to help Miss Pauling, or go on any special contracts that’s asked of them (usually transporting cargo).

Now for a bit about the girls themselves. Elijah King (she/he) was raised in a lab by none other than….(drumroll please)....the RED Medic! (We do love a nepo baby.) Soon after the doctor was forced to leave the facility after becoming too close to Eli, she escaped, got a fun little bout of amnesia, and started living her life in New Mexico! She bounced from job to job, getting experience in all kindsa places; mechanic, bartender, and bouncer were just a few jobs she had. But, one day, she was approached by a lovely woman in purple and offered a job. She took it, and the rest is history! Now this bubbly, flirty, fun-loving gal finally has a home…and maybe one day, she’ll realize she found her father as well.

Egon (he/him), in short, is Eli’s clone. He has a fun little secret, though: he remembers Everything. He doesn’t have amnesia! It kinda kills him to see Eli on the other team with their father and not even knowing it! The only thing more frustrating than that is the fact that their father is Intentionally keeping it from her! …It doesn’t help that he completely rejected Egon when he tried to reconnect. That definitely won’t give Egon issues about Technically being Eli and having to cobble a new identity for himself in a very short period of time. It certainly doesn’t make him sad and bitter. Lucky for him, the entirety of the BLU team is sad and bitter in some way, so he fits right in! Now he’s just gotta keep everyone from finding out he’s a clone…Not that eventually getting temporarily kidnapped and re-experimented on helps his odds. Now he’s got even More unnatural eyes, along with other problems. Eh, he’s probably fine.

So, I bet you’re wondering: Why should you vote for these gals? Their backstory seems weird and tragic and probably doesn’t fit at all in line with your interpretation of Medic! Well, my friend, come close and I’ll tell you.

BECAUSE IT’S FUN, DAMNIT!! VOTE FOR THE ASSISTANTS TO HAVE FUN AND WHIMSY IN YOUR LIFE!!! GO GO GO!!!!!!!

The Reverend

@coopster3d

Image credit: @/coopster3d

The Reverend is a religious fanatic hailing from Southern Italy, where he was raised in a commune by a group of reclusive nuns. Where, according to him, he was taught the basic necessary skills for life, which include but are not limited to: Small sword combat, butchering, and Ecclesiastical Latin. It is unknown how exactly he was ordained as his denomination remains unclear. He often fails to mention that throughout his travels, he's made some adjustments to the standard Bible, adding his own footnotes, amendments, and even on occasion, pages which he believes are the true gospel, taken from a multitude of other religions, leading to a mishmash of ideals and beliefs full of unexplained rituals. Within the team The Reverend plays a heavily supportive role, serving initially as on-base staff in the form of a “Therapist” to the Mercs, which unfortunately or not, was not clearly conveyed leading to a sacrificial killing in the Intelligence Room. Now, he is a full time member of the Mercenary team!

CLASS INFORMATION

Primary Stock: Thurible/Censer A golden Thurible, which, when held, creates an aura around The Reverend. Teammates in range, when damaged, contribute to a shield meter. When full, the user can activate a direction shield [stylized as a building mist which hardens into a thin shield the size of three heavys stood shoulder to shoulder] that protects against projectile damage and protects The Reverend from "Hell-fire" [Pyro's flames] while active. In order to use this effectively, The Reverend has to directly put himself in front of the front line, only properly using this shield when putting himself in a direct line of fire beforehand. When not activating his shield, The Reverend uses his thurible similar to that of a flail, creating a mid ranged weapon which is used to protect himself and others in a select radius around him.

Secondary Stock: The “Mercy Kill” Dagger Modeled after a sword used in early battles to put soldiers who were suffering grave injuries out of their misery in a quick and efficient way, The Reverend uses it similar to The Medic's Ubersaw. Instead of contributing to the thurible’s meter, it instead contributes to its own meter, which, when full, can be used to activate The Reverend's "Dying Wish." [Inspired by Priests being seen as undertakers, guiding souls to heaven or otherwise while on their deathbed.] When used, The Reverend can target a specific teammate under half-health and for a short time grants the target guaranteed Crits, but does not heal the target, nor protect them from any damage type other than the one the target themselves is dealing. [I.e. Heavy receives a buff against bullets, Pyro-fire, and Demo- explosives]

Melee Stock Options: Bible/Rosary The Reverend is against the use of guns and prefers to get up close and personal with his damage dealing. [Used as an excuse to personally "send people off" to the next life while praying for their soul.] He either uses his Bible to bludgeon his victims or, on occasion, wraps his Rosary around his knuckles to boost his hand-to-hand damage.

Support Slot Stock: Holy Water Mister Modeled after a garden mister used for plants, the bottle is instead filled with Holy Water blessed by The Reverend himself. Mechanically used to rid teammates of ailments, such as Jarate, Pyro's Fire, and works to undisguise enemy Spies. [This also has an ammo limit similar to Pyro's flamethrower]

EXTRA INFO

The Reverend, or as he is rarely called, Father Angelo, is known to be an enigmatic figure even among bizarre groups like the Mercenaries. He's rarely seen loitering in public spaces around the base, choosing to reside in his homemade "service" room, complete with a makeshift confession booth. When prompted, he'll say he prefers the quiet as it allows him a moment of reflection. He seems well put together and always walks through the halls with an upright rigidness, always seeming to peer down at people when speaking with them. That is of course unless he is genuinely interested, in which case he'll lean forward to inquire further, often expressing himself with his hands which he kept firmly laced together just moments before. The Reverend does not see most of his fellow men as solitary beings, in fact, most if not all of the Mercenaries are seen as a challenge to him. After all, what's more difficult than getting a group of cold-blooded murderers to repent? He's convinced himself he's already chosen for heaven, and that God put him on this earth for a reason, and the tribulations he's faced working with MANN CO. might just be that exact mission.

Of course the Father isn't a stranger to violence, on the field he maintains his saintly demeanor when grouped with his colleagues, which seems to be most often given his support role. Until he's given a chance to take matters into his own hands. The Reverend is incredibly vengeful, with an excellent memory for faces, he takes the time to chase enemies who he understands are close to death, and he finishes them off himself, usually bludgeoning them to death. He doesn't enjoy the act of killing, what he takes the most pleasure in is when his team finds him knelt over the dying victim, his hands gripping theirs as he prays for their safe travel to heaven, asking them to repent in their last moments.

FUN FACTS!

-The Reverend often wakes up at dawn and has a very specific morning ritual that includes tending to his small flock of chickens. -Despite his attempts, he is often shadowed by a murder of crows who he believes bring him bad luck, or more accurately, bring him a bad name. -He speaks Italian most fluently, with Ecclesiastical Latin and English following behind. He learned both during his time studying the Bible and its origins when he was younger. -His class emblem is known as "the all-seeing eye of god." -The specific translation The Reverend uses as the basis for his text is The Douay-Rheims Bible. -The Reverend’s full given name is Angelo Caruso, but he is rarely addressed by it, and instead was only called by his first name for most of his life. -When signing his name, he often uses the “o” of his name as a flourish, which leads to his signature looking closer to “Angel.” -The Reverend can play the tambourine verily well, he enjoys tambourine dancing and encourages people to join in for the purpose of worship.

#tf2occontest2024 #poll #round 2 #the reverend #the assistant #coopster3d #gordonfreemanreal

97 notes · View notes

hollowed-theory-hall · 9 months ago

Note

Thoughts on religion in the wizarding world? I'm guessing there would be sects of existing religions as well as their own. Maybe they think their magic is divinely given and muggles are heathens? Or they're supposed to 'enlighten' or 'watch over' the muggles like some angel complex?

there was definitely people worshipping harry potter. And/or voldy like there's already religious overtones why not make it in universe?

Hi 👋,

Kinda mentioned what I think about religion in the wizarding world here and here. since the Statute of Secrecy was introduced so late (1692) it means most wizarding communities would be practicing some magical variant of the local muggle religion. In the case of Britain — that would be Christianity.

The fact wizards are buried in Christian muggle graveyards, that Bill and Fleur's wedding is a Christian wedding with a little magical flare, that they celebrate Christmas, and that they have godparents — are all facts that indicate the UK wizarding world is predominantly Christian.

As for more personal fanatical worship we see with Harry and Voldemort, that's something that could just happen in any community, regardless of whether they are religious or not. Ideologies can become fanatical religious worship of the ideology and its leader even without any religion or gods present, so I don't think it has much to do with it. Completely atheist groups and organizations have become fanatical to the point of religious faith in the past, I don't see why wizards would then be different and need religion/god/gods to worship someone/something.

I think there could be some wizards who believe they are better than muggles due to religious reasons, but we don't really see evidence of that in the UK. The beliefs most Death Eaters spew don't seem to have a religious basis but be more similar to eugenics, considering how much they talk about blood and purity (like the Nazis, who were very anti-religion, btw. Like, I don't know how aware you are, but the Nazi party prosecuted Christians in Germany, they believed the state and its leader should be the religion and not god). It's about blood more than about religion in my opinion.

What I do think is interesting is how certain ancient wizards (like Merlin and the founders) are treated somewhat like religious figures, like saints ("Merlin's beard" and such). So, it kinda makes me want to headcanon Merlin and the founders are considered saints in the Magical Church or whatever it's called. That they have a whole additional set of legends and saints built atop the muggle Christian faith (or any other religion wherever those wizards are).

I wonder if there are wizards in the Vatican? If there really is a strain of Christianity that's like "The Church of Magic" or whatever. I mean, Harry describes there is a wizard priest who presides over Dumbledore's funeral and Bill and Fleur's wedding. He needed to get this priesthood somewhere.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” said a slightly singsong voice, and with a slight shock, Harry saw the same small, tufty-haired wizard who had presided at Dumbledore’s funeral, now standing in front of bill and Fleur.

(DH, 127)

The above "small, tufty-haired wizard" is a wizard priest.

It also means there are wizards of any other muggle religion based on their location with some magical flares added (Jewish wizards, Muslim wizards, Hindu wizards, you name it). Probably different wizarding communities (different countries or areas) have slightly different variations of said religious practices, just like we see with irl semi-secluded cultures. Like, the magical church of France is likely a little different from the magical church of England (I wonder if the magical church of England is Anglican or if it's an older institute and therefore catholic and remained so through Herny VIII's reforms, which happened before the Statute of Secrecy. I assume some wizards are catholic and some are protestant in the UK regardless, again depending on where they are from).

#harry potter #hp #hp meta #wizarding world #wizarding religion #hollowedtheory #hollowedheadcanon

49 notes · View notes

theconstitutionisgayculture · 11 days ago

Note

Asking not as a gotcha or a smug leftie or a hostile person, just out of curiosity-

Is there anything that you genuinely dislike about Trump? Economic policies, politically speaking, or even personally speaking?

Like, I like Kamala better than Trump (Though I don't hate him) but I dislike the damage that she did to parents with sick kids, the way she deals with the black community, etc.

I just think it's odd if a person likes everything about their candidate, because while I would work with a lot of people, there are certainly things that I'd dislike about almost all of them. And I wonder if right-wing tumblr does have any genuine dislike of something that Trump did. Sorry if this is weird or offensive!

Well, right now I'm not to fond of him strong-arming Israel not to attack Iran. I've never liked the US telling Israel not to defend itself or protect its own interests, especially when them doing that almost always helps us too. I think expecting Iran to abide by any deal they make with US is a risky proposition at best. We should be doing everything possible to keep Iran from becoming a nuclear power, and right now, in my inexpert judgement, the best way to do that seems to be drone striking the facilities where they're refining uranium into something that can be used in a bomb. I think Trump is a little too obsessed with being seen as a peace maker (and winning that Nobel Peace Prize that he admittedly does deserve, but will never get no matter what he does) and he tends to see everyone through the lens of a dealmaker and a businessman. Which is great when dealing with rational governments. He can get a lot of concessions that normal politicians don't because he doesn't approach negotiation as a politician. But I think it also causes a blindspot when dealing with religious fanatics. He doesn't understand that the Iranian leaders don't view the world the way we do. Their religion tells them it's perfectly acceptable to lie and make false promises when they're in a position of weakness, then go back on those promises the moment they have the upper hand again. Sometimes it seems like he doesn't understand that, and that the people around him also don't really understand that.

12 notes · View notes

atopvisenyashill · 24 days ago

Note

idk man, just take a peak at the hotd subreddit and you’ll having hater fuel for DAYS!!! 😭😭

i actually did just block someone because it was like "the show RUINED rhaenyra" and "the show RUINED the hull boys" like.................what are you talking about alksdjflksd i have honestly become such a hater of any and all "well BOOK RHAENYRA" sorry but i don't think we have enough characterization for anyone in the dance to say that the show is completely out of character. there are some adaptational choices i think were stupid and made out of laziness but like, what even is the difference between book and show rhaenyra? it doesn't fucking exist. and not only that, but every time someone is like "she should be decked out in JEWELS" is she not constantly wearing dresses and jewelry? how is her costumes in the show not femme enough??

which is why i'm very much "i think people want book rhaenyra bc they want a rhaenyra that is cis" when it comes to this. i'm like two seconds away from blocking the phrase "book rhaenyra" because i think the whole thing is so annoying. "oh well if she's driven by prophecy, they haven't foreshadowed that enough" are you guys stupid? I'm genuinely asking. i don't think it needs to have been clobbered over the head throughout season one that part of rhaenyra's devotion to her claim is because of her father's faith in her to share the prophecy for it to have clearly impacted her. why would she bring it up before viserys is dying? it's supposed to be secret. and then it's like. i'm sorry, once again, these people are just stupid, they want rhaenyra to turn to the camera and go "my quest for the throne is more about my relationship with my father than anything else. i am now going to backslide morally and let this fanatacism towards godhood and religion get the best of me, because of my grief over my complicated relationship with my father and with my own heirs." well no! that's bad writing! it is clearly implied just as alicent's religious bent is because of her trauma as well. but people see like, non christian coded religious fervor and go "that doesn't make sense" bud idk how to tell you this but every single religion - EVERY SINGLE RELIGION - has fanatics that use it as a front to do crime. if you can't tell that's what she's doing, it's because you're stupid.

and what's more. addam is a very easy character to like. addam literally has "loyal" written on his gravestone. they focused on alyn because a) he lives and b) he's a lot harder of a character to like what with him being a shit fuck of a husband and a creep towards elaena, so they want us to be invested in him as the heir to driftmark. addam's motivations are clearly still centered around corlys, and him referring to rhaenyra and the dragons as gods isn't at all out of character, nor is alyn yelling at his father for being a deadbeat.

but also NO MORE FUCKING FIRE AND BLOOD. IM TRYING TO BITCH ABOUT THE B O O KS.

#jfajdlsf #soyboywenzie #asks

10 notes · View notes

slotumn · 6 months ago

Text

Take:

Rhea and the Central Church's problem isn't that they're the stereotypical unhinged religious zealots calling to kill heretics at the drop of a hat, it's that they're the establishment who have become impotent, complacent, avoidant, and more concerned with appearances than action. Rhea and the Central Church's failure wasn't them being "too ruthless," or "going overboard," it was actually being too soft and passive and doing too little too late in matters where it's literally their responsibility to act.

For more specific examples, Rhea gets accused of being excessive wrt Western Church and Imperial troops at Holy Tomb— but my take is that the real problem wasn't her being ruthless, it's that she didn't do it earlier when it really mattered.

Some of those "earlier" within recent years of canon include: attempted assassination on Rhea a few years back, guy with connections to imperial family (Volkhard) who used to be a big donor to the Church suddenly changing his attitude overnight after fucking around in a rival nation, Western Church becoming radicalized heretics. If Rhea channeled her Saint Seiros days and got pissed and cutthroat about those things and made the Church take major action over it as soon as it came onto radar, they probably wouldn't have gotten played as hard by the Slithers as they did.

You can't even call the Church investigating those overreaching into the nations' internal affairs or anything; "why was a Kingdom noble involved in a plot to assassinate the archbishop" or "why is a branch of our Church getting into heresy" or "why the hell are some people claiming Central Church was behind Tragedy of Duscur" are all perfectly fair matters for them to look into. And if an in-law of the Adrestian imperial house stayed in the capital of a rival nation for a year doing god knows what for undisclosed reasons, then I think he's hardly in a position to accuse the Church of being weird if they prod at him and go "hey it's been a while what have you been up to lately."

Yet the Church seemingly didn't investigate those in depth/honestly confront the parties involved, and even covered up the truth in the case of the Christophe incident. The motivation there was that they wanted to keep up the appearance that the Church is Doing Totally Fine™ and that the public can trust them to be Reliable And Normal™ even in times of turmoil— which really just seems to mean that they want to avoid admitting and reviewing their own fuck ups, or having visible conflicts/tensions with other major factions/within themselves for the sake of PR. And this eventually bites them in the ass because some of those other factions do not reciprocate this conflict avoidant attitude, not to mention that covering up the symptoms doesn't get rid of the problem.

All that to keep up appearances, and ultimately the result is Western Church and Empire seeing them as easy targets and being proven right about it. If you actually stop and think about the implications of Central Church having what should be very high security places (Holy Tomb and Mausoleum) in their home bases infiltrated and terrorized twice in one year, Rhea's personal reaction after it happens is basically the least of all the problems there.

So yeah the Central Church has decayed complacent impotent stupid establishment syndrome, not volatile crazy fanatics syndrome. And Rhea, at the time of canon as the Church's leader, has the problem of being fatally avoidant and thumb-twiddling until things get to the point some scary yelling isn't going to fix the situation, not being an aggressive control freak. (Again I think she would have been a better in-universe leader if she was proactively controlling shit at the time of canon instead of waiting for Sothis to come back and fix everything!)

The reason why I'm being pedantic about this is bc there are multiple ways religions and religious institutions can fail, and I think the fact Central Church's failure isn't them being the stereotypical unhinged fanatics actually makes things way more interesting— especially when contrasted with the fact that there are the actual unhinged fanatics in-universe (Western Church), and those guys hate the Central Church.

Also imo most everything I've diagnosed here still applies post-timeskip in CF— the Church is never proactive in a way that matters, and their final lashing out in Fhirdiad was never going to be enough to make up for their inaction before. They had a whole country on their side for five years and apparently they didn't do much with that, after the Empire already declared war on them. Hell, the Empire even takes a detour conquering the Alliance and they're just sitting there. Like damn Rhea if you were actually serious about winning the war then you should have been cultivating insurgents to send into Adrestia and burn Enbarr. Not sitting around in Faerghus then burning Fhirdiad at the last minute.

Tl;dr

Broke: Church Evil

Woke: Church Stupid

#slotalks #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #fe3h meta #meta #church of seiros #rhea #rhea fe3h

15 notes · View notes

edenhasfeelings · 1 year ago

Text

The Death of Media Literacy, Religion, Misogyny, and Cognitive Dissonance

Spoilers for Dune Part 1 and 2 and the Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

I'll admit, I have not read the Dune books yet, but I am a huge fan of the Dune movies. Not only did Denis Villeneuve just make two incredible, epic movies with a lot of nuance, gorgeous visuals, and an incredible score by Hans Zimmer, but the story itself is really compelling for a lot of reasons. My mother had tried to get me into Dune when I was younger, but at the time it wasn't my thing. I really liked Part 1, but Part 2 was something else entirely. I was gripping my seat the whole time, genuinely enthralled by everything happening. But I came out of the theatre with one definite conclusion: Paul Atredies is not a hero. I shared my thoughts in the car, and while my boyfriend agreed with me and my father had no opinion, my mother adamantly refused. She read the first book in college, and loved the 1984 version of the film (watching that, in my opinion, was like slow cooking your eyeballs over a campfire, but it was cool for the time period I guess). She was insistent he was the hero, and then tried to say that they changed the story to make him seem more like a villain, but he wasn't in the first book.

No hate to my mom, it's been a long while since she read the first book, and me and her are going to actually read the whole series soon. From my understanding and the research I've done, Frank Herbert wrote Dune as a cautionary tale against white saviorism and a commentary about America stealing oil from Middle Eastern countries and their subsequent colonization. I've also heard it was meant to be a standalone originally, but because people were portraying Paul Atredies to be the hero so much, he then wrote Dune Messiah to further drive home the point he was originally trying to make. But even without the knowledge of the books, it was apparent to me that he was not meant to be a hero in the movies. Of course, it isn't spelled out for you, and Timothée Chalamet does have some really epic, badass moments. But one of the biggest clue that you can have to what's going on is Chani, and how she reacts. She loves Paul, and she supports him, but she doesn't support him becoming a religious figure that leads her people because she feels as though that level of fervent religion is dangerous and not right; she says that a born and raised Fremen should be the one to free their people. You also see a huge shift from how Paul acts in the first movie and the first part of the second movie to how he acts after he drinks the Water of Life. In the first movie and first part of the second, he refuses to fulfill any prophecy, and tells them that he is not the one they are looking for. He is only wanting one thing: to avenge his father and his house. He even gets into an argument with his mother, Jessica, and he tells her that the Bene Gesserit were the ones to perpetuate this prophecy for their own gain. He knows it isn't real, and that it isn't divine, and that he was raised by Jessica to fit the qualifications for this prophecy for her own gain and the gain of her order. He knows what will happen if he takes up the mantle of Lisan al-Gaib: holy war spreading across the galaxy in his name. But when he feels like he has no other choice but to drink the Water to rally the Fremen to fight the Harkonnens, things instantly change. He becomes arrogant and demanding and self-confident, completely uncaring of how Chani feels and becoming solely focused on becoming Emperor. The line "lead them to paradise" felt really, really gross upon delivery, partly due to Hans Zimmer's masterful score. It feels damning.

While looking like a white savior story at very simplistic face value, Dune: Part Two is in fact a critique of it, even without the addition of Dune Messiah. The other big thing that the movie critiques is religion, especially blind faith at the cost of your critical thinking skills, religious fanaticism and idolization, and how religion is taken advantage of by people in power or people who want to be in power. Now I've seen a lot of tone deaf critiques of Dune, and a lot of ignorant comments made, usually in regards to the racial and political elements of the story. I have also seen a lot of people who get it and were able to help me expand my reasoning for the feeling of wrongness I got from people thinking Paul is a hero. But nothing compares to the TikTok I saw today. Someone blended the audio of Timothée Chalamet's Wonka character introducing himself, with the scene after Paul drinks the Water and goes to rally the Fremen to fight for his cause. The first image in the slideshow was an image of Wonka with the caption "Being raised in a religious household and calling yourself 'a Christian'." The second slide shows Paul in the midst of his religious fanaticism in the movie, with the caption "After being born again and having your entire worldview change." Absolutely no hate to this creator if you know who I'm talking about, but this video quite honestly had me gagged, for lack of a better term. I was absolutely shocked at not just the usual lack of media literacy that revolves around this movie and so many others, but the fact that they were so far gone from the point of the movie and Paul's character entirely that they thought it was a good idea to post that online in reference to their own faith. Paul Atredies took advantage of a prophecy that he knew was engineered to control the Fremen to do exactly what the Harkonnens wanted to do, just in a different font. His intentions might have been good to start, but ultimately, because of Jessica and the Bene Gesserit (specifically the Reverend Mother, as she talks to him in his visions and pushes him forward), who he realizes he is being manipulated by, he ends up where he is: a religious idol who (Spoiler for Dune Messiah) leads 61 billion souls "to paradise" and causes irreparable damage to the galaxy.

As someone who was raised Christian, I can tell you without a doubt that religion in general, but especially Christianity, can heavily damage your critical thinking skills and media literacy. When you look at everything from the lens of, "Ok but how does this piece of media validate my feelings and beliefs regardless of intention, subtext, or true meaning?" you end up falling into some really dangerous territory. Paul is not meant to be venerated in any way, shape, or form. He's a badass character and Timothée Chalamet did an excellent job portraying him, but you should not be comparing yourself to him, especially in the context of your religious journey. That is incredibly dangerous as you then shut your eyes to the true message of the story: white saviorism is bad, colonialism is bad, exploiting entire peoples for resources of any kind is bad, and spreading and using religion to control people is bad. Of course if you phrased bluntly any of these things to religious people they would (probably) agree that those are bad things. But when you put it into the context of film/literature/music/etc, and then you have no one spelling things out for you like you're used to people doing for you in your religion, and you've already tossed your critical thinking skills out the window in order to avoid doubting your faith, you end up supporting and turning a blind eye to the bad things that you would otherwise disagree with if it was made simple for you. Even if you have no ill intention, even though it was just a silly TikTok, the ease in which people delude themselves by refusing to look any deeper into media causes such mass amounts of complacency and allows history to repeat itself. It is repeating itself right now. When we learn about the Holocaust in school, everyone would say that if they were Germans living in Germany, they would have opposed the genocide of the Jewish, Romani, and queer people during WWII. But here we are, watching the genocide of the Palestinian people live on our phones, and yet people are still sitting in denial and complacency, and often using the Bible and religion as an excuse for why its' ok.

Steering away from the topic of religion, another clear example of media illiteracy recently was The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. I both read the book and saw the movie (full book review posted on my book review blog @385bookreviews). While in the book you get Coriolanus' raw thoughts and it is made more obvious that he is not a good person even without the influence of Dr. Gaul, the movie still does a really good job of showing his decline into the person we see in The Hunger Games trilogy. And yet somehow, even with the context of the first three Hunger Games books (and the four movies), somehow people were still painting Coriolanus as the misunderstood good guy of the story. The latent misogyny that came out of so many people, especially women and girls who claim to be feminists, by saying Lucy Gray was manipulative and everything was her fault, was honestly appalling to watch. There is always room for personal interpretation of media, however that is widely different from purposefully ignoring canon information and editing the text to adhere to your own cognitive dissonance. This can once again come back to religion, as I believe people of every organized religion also practice this habit of picking and choosing whatever they want from their holy texts and then conveniently excusing the rest of it. Media illiteracy is shown in another way with the Hunger Games series fans as well. A lot of people can go to the movies or read the books and root for the rebelling protagonist and recognize perfectly the plot of the story: government bad, so good people rebel and fight for their freedom, and those are our heroes. And yet these same people will then turn around and ignore genocide because "the oppressed people attacked first, they should have stayed peaceful".

While not all media reflects real life, or is meant to be taken as seriously, The Hunger Games and Dune are definitely not two of those series. By ignoring the context and subtext and purely engaging with things as fiction, and then ignoring the real life applications and implications of the work, we are being purposefully and consensually blinded and allowing ourselves to become mindless cogs in a capitalist machine. We all need to learn to think for ourselves, now more than ever, and that starts with our media consumption.

#dune #dune movie #dune part 1 #dune part 2 #dune part one #dune part two #media literacy #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #deconstructing christianity #exvangelical #cognitive dissonance #pro palestine #free palestine #free gaza

59 notes · View notes

useless-catalanfacts · 1 year ago

Text

Who was the last deadly victim of the Spanish Inquisition?

Technically, the last victim sentenced to death by the Spanish Inquisition was María de los Dolores López, a Sevillian nun killed in 1781 for heresy. However, things didn't stop there.

The Spanish government of the Three Liberal Years (1820-1823) technically abolished the Inquisition, but the Inquisition continued the same now under the name of "Faith Tribunals". The same men who were inquisitors continued to do the same job as members of the Faith Tribunals, and the Inquisition's prisons simply became the Faith Tribunal's prisons. De facto, everything stayed the same until 1834.

Then, who was the last person killed by these fanatic tribunals?

It was this man: Gaietà Ripoll i Pla. A teacher sentenced to death in the city of València in the year 1826.

He was born in Solsona (Catalonia) in 1778. He fought in the Peninsula War against Napoleon's invasion, but in 1810 was captured as a prisoner of war and taken to France. There, he met Quakers and converted to Deism (belief in God that can be observed through empirical means, but not follower of one specific religion or Church). Four years later he came back and became a teacher.

He taught children in Russafa (nowadays, this town has been absorbed by the growing city of València and has become a neighbourhood of València), in a house built by the neighbours and also giving private lessons. Russafa was a very rural town, where most of its inhabitants worked in the fields and did not know how to read nor write.

Writings of the time show that Gaietà was very respected by the neighbours, who praised his integrity and goodness, but the fact that he did not go to mass caught people's attention. When a local woman asked him why he didn't go, he answered that he knew more than the priests. After some time, some neighbours told the Archbishop of València that this teacher was not following Catholicism's rules and wasn't making children pray in school.

He was arrested in October 1824 and jailed for two years in what used to be the Inquisition's prison in València, which was now the Valencian Faith Tribunal's prison. The inquisitor (now president of València's Faith Tribunal) Miguel Toranzo wrote that Gaietà refused to accept the truth of Catholicism and that he told children in his school that they should not say Ave María Purísima and that it's not necessary to hear mass in order to be saved.

To sentence him to death, the tribunal used the Medieval Partidas laws from Castile, which sentenced to death those Christians who had walked away from Catholicism to become heretics or Jewish. He was sentenced to be hanged and burned, but the sentence added that "nowadays no nation in Europe burns or materially sentences men to the flames", thus "the burning can be represented by painting flames on a bucket, which the executioner will place under the scaffold so that the prisoner's suffocated body will fall in it".

And that's how it went. He was hanged in València's Market Square, fell on the fake-flames bucket, and his body was thrown to the Túria river.

During all the centuries that it lasted for, the Inquisition/Faith Tribunals caused unimaginable amounts of suffering and death, not only to the people they were torturing and killing, also to their families, their friends, their neighbourhoods (consider the fear and trauma inflicted on everyone who saw it happen and knew it could happen to anyone), their whole communities (was the mostly-illiterate town of Russafa not better with the work of this kind-hearted teacher who gave its children a formal education?), and even the whole of Humanity (we have lost countless works of art, of science, philosophy, medicine, new ideas that could bring us all better times). Even after the end of the Inquisition/Faith Tribunals, even after the end of the Spanish national-Catholic dictatorship (1939-1978), there is so much that we can never get back that was taken by religious fanaticism / Christian extremism.

Translation of the plaque: València's City Council restores this plaque which was in this square between the years 1906 and 1940, in homage to Gaietà Ripoll i Pla, a freethinker teacher who had his school in Russafa and who was the Inquisition's last victim.

#història #país valencià #history #inquisition #19th century #1800s #gaietà ripoll i pla #russafa #valència #solsona #did you know #interesting facts #fun facts #european history #historical #society #spanish inquisition

114 notes · View notes

pink-nostalgya · 29 days ago

Text

City of stars, are you shining just for me?

Aziraphale x Crowley✿˖˚ ༘𐙚 Summary: Aziraphale becomes a passionate fan of “La La Land” and forces Crowley to watch the film on a rainy night, one in which fear and at the same time hidden emotions glisten before the city of stars.⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ Author's note: I wrote this being obsessed with ‘La la land’ and because I can't stand watching my favourite divorcees I combine them as an alcoholic beverage lol.

⋆˚☆˖°⋆｡° ✮˖ ࣪ ⊹⋆.˚

For some reason the songs from the musical ‘La La Land’ kept playing in the library of the angel Aziraphale, who enthusiastically hummed the songs while cleaning or reading, clearly enchanted by the melodies and instruments projected in the musical. The angel wasn't the biggest fan of the films, since they had become popular he didn't dislike them but he simply preferred to imagine the world rather than have it presented to him already created visually, so when some shoppers were debating in front of him about the recently released film ‘La La Land’ he found himself thinking about it for a few days, days in which the demon didn't know his curiosity, more so when it was as cheesy a musical as he thought it was.

"There's nothing special about it, it's just actors dancing and singing about the wonders of love and then crying about it like it's a tragedy, it's pathetic and I hope you're not that" the demon said as the angel poured him a cup of tea, sitting in chairs in their weekly chats.

"But with the passion they were talking Crowley, you should have seen their faces, they looked younger than they were, it's really fascinating how humans can describe love as something so beautiful," said the angel as his chubby face lit up when he spoke on the subject, making his curiosity more prevalent and visible to the bitter demon.

"Whatever you say, angel..." said the demon, already surrendered to the failed attempt to make his fellow angel do a silly thing like watching a two-hour musical.

So one day, the determined angel, with money in his pockets, made the decision to go to the cinema to see the musical he had been wanting to see for two weeks... When he finished watching the film, he went to the nearest phone box and wrote down the phone number he had tattooed in his brain.

"Angel? It's almost midnight, what the hell are you doing calling me?" asked Crowley, wearing a red satin dressing gown and half asleep.

"Crowley, I'm in front of the cinema... and I just saw the movie you told me not to see," said Aziraphale, in an almost serious tone, one that was meant to fill the demon with suspense.

"So, do you like it or not?" he asked, incredulous that his beloved angel had called him at such an hour for something so banal.

Aziraphale did not speak for a good while, on the phone his breath was quiet, but static, as if he wanted to think about what to say first, as if he was reflecting on what he had just seen.

"Angel?" said the demon, this time a little worried that his friend had just given him a stroke, a heart attack or just wanted to faint.

"That was... the best movie I've ever seen in my life" said the angel this time, as if he had discovered a marvel, fascinated and even in love with what he had just seen, with a tone of light that could be felt from his voice to the demon's ears.

And that was when the angel's life began to become more colourful and musical than usual, the next day after seeing the film he went to a shop to buy the vinyl of the soundtrack of the film, and excitedly waited a few weeks for the dvd to come out so he could watch the film religiously once a week, with a cup of tea and a box of soft tissues so he could enjoy two appreciable hours of his life.

Crowley wasn't as enthusiastic as his friend, but neither did he try to spoil the other's mood, simply dismissing him without a word at the angel's fanatical comments after watching the film for the fifth time this month, and avoiding staying for the weekly screenings of it, despite Aziraphale's insistence.

"Please Crowley, stay to see it and you'll see how wonderful it is," the angel said as the other put on his jacket and headed for the bookshop door.

"I don't know angel, you know I have to go home to... uhm... take care of my plants" he said trying to create an excuse to not hurt the chubby angel's feelings so much. "Yes that... you know how I am with them".

But one unforeseen day, after so much insistence and pleading, the demon with almost no tact and apparently a resentment towards love, stayed with his friend to watch the much-appreciated movie. That night when the rain was making music in the cosy room, an old television was connected to an old DVD player that was still working. The angel came in with a bowl of popcorn and a smile on his face, holding the DVD of the infamous movie between the two of them.

"I feel like I'm going to regret this angel," Crowley said, one hand resting on his forehead, avoiding in every way possible to take back the decision he just made, and more so when he always wants to have this strong image in the face of cheesy or mushy feelings.

"Don't talk nonsense, it's too late to regret it, just enjoy the movie" he said, putting the dvd in the device that despite making some strange sounds while processing the movie, could be watched without any problem after a few minutes.

The first sequences did not surprise Crowley, of course, people dancing out of their cars and singing of the wonders of love, which he had expected. So with a smirk he turned his face to his companion's to mock the foolishness he was seeing, but when he did so he was perplexed by the sight of what he never thought he would admit, the illuminated and beautiful face of an angel, a small smile tugging at the corners of her face as she held her hands tightly to her chest, as if to contain something in her heart, something he had long ago felt.

His smile faded, and on his face there was only a slight blush, trying a failed attempt to hide it by watching the movie, trying to ignore his friend next to him, who made him feel emotions he had felt before but had repressed, ones that were always there but he never accepted them.

After that the movie went by faster, faster than he wanted to admit. Obviously the songs weren't as much to his liking as someone more bitter, but he couldn't deny that the visuals were beautiful and the story was interesting, even though it was one he always saw in real life. But everything changed when the scene of "City of Stars" came on, the scene as such was simple, it wouldn't have to be anything special for someone like him, but something about the lyrics resonated with him.

A look in somebody's eyes To light up the skies To open the world and send it reeling A voice that says: I'll be here And: You'll be alright

Those words described a feeling he held in his heart, one that he promised himself he would never let come out, and it frightened him for an instant. Uncomfortable, he folded his arms across his chest and tried to hide his face with the shoulder pads of his jacket, with a visible blush on his pale, withered skin.

In contrast, the angel with a serene face appeared to be enjoying the song, more at peace with the emotions it generated. Although as an angel's work he was forbidden to feel something as human as love, in these moments they were characterised by their acceptance of it, at least for two hours.

With all this, the next thing that happened was a rollercoaster of emotions for the demon's heart; the fights, disagreements and the inevitable break-up of the main couple left him emotionally conflicted between crying or pretending not to care. With a trembling hand he tried to grasp his knee for support in the face of such feelings, and in doing so caught the attention of the angel, who was previously undeserving of the story.

"Crowley, what have you got dear?" he asked, concern in his voice as he approached him.

"Nothing, nothing" he said as he looked up trying to hold back tears "A cramp...in my tail from sitting so much that's all."

The angel decided to believe him, not because he was naive but because he had known him for over centuries, so he turned his face to what was left of the film; the tragic epilogue.

If you read the continuity of what I am telling you, you know how Crowley ended up with that ending, shattered are a few words. He couldn't stop thinking about how the two of them looked at each other that last time, he couldn't understand how they could smile after all that, how they couldn't run to each other and give each other a kiss that could heal all that hurt and separated them, and how the kind, sensitive and loving angel next to him smiled the same way they both did.

"Damn movie" was all he could think "Damn movie, damn actors, and damn writers who I hope got blisters on their hands for writing this movie" and despite cursing half the world, he couldn't do the same to the angel who almost forced him to watch it, he was incapable.

But one thing he didn't understand was the ability to be able to smile so happily at such a sad story in his opinion, leaving the love of your life to find success was a nightmare in his opinion and that he was a demon from hell, that was saying a lot.

"How beautiful, isn't it?" said the angel, as his elegant composure remained intact, and his face turned to look at the demon, who looked even offended by his comment.

"Beautiful? This is the most fucked up thing in the world, they couldn't even be together and you call that beautiful, how fucked up angel must be."

"Don't offend me like that demon" he said, unable to believe the great offense thanks to the movie, as he composed himself and tried to speak in the least condescending tone possible. "I can tell you don't know about reading comprehension, they both loved each other, that's true, but that love was the same one that let them go in order to fulfil each other's dreams."

"Didn't you see what I saw, there was literally a whole scene in the end where they were living happily together."

"THAT WAS A FANTASY" shouted the angel at the end, his face flushed and his breath hitching.

After that, both offended with each other, they stood with their arms crossed and without looking at each other, both too offended to speak to each other, but codependent enough not to leave.

"Have you ever been afraid that... I don't know, a person is better off without you?" The demon cut the ice, to an embarrassment confessing of a feeling that blossomed from watching the film, one that began to grow as they grew closer and began to realise that the other lightened eternal existence.

"What?" he asked, confused at such a roundabout confession, and was the first to turn to look at the other. “What are you talking about Crowley?”.

"It's stupid."

"It's not," said the other, sounding sincere.

Sighed the demon, unable to believe he was going to talk about feelings, a demon doing that felt like a fish breathing out of water: unnatural.

"That you stagnate the person, that you don't let him flourish and grow as he should, that he doesn't do what he should do just because he's next to you, even though he seems normal."

The angel, captivated by the demon's sincerity, could not help but be perplexed by his fragility, his vulnerability. He put his hands in a grasp and pulled him into his lap, and before he spoke he took the demon's hand, wanting his touch so that he could verify that what he was experiencing was a reality.

"Why would you stall the other?" he asked, in the most sincere way possible and not trying to tease the demon, just trying to talk some sense into him. "One thing humans have taught me in the years I've lived with them is that love doesn't try to stagnate the other or leave them in the same place as always, dear Crowley I've known you since god knows when and the only thing I know is that his love lets fly the one who believes the least".

The demon, trying to compose himself and not to look as vulnerable as he already looked, didn't let go of his angel's hand and let it stay that way for a good moment, until he felt tears coming out of his eyes and he couldn't stand it any longer and let go of his grip to wipe them away.

"What a shitty movie" was all he said and then the angel laughed quietly.

“I know deep down you like it, Crowley”.

"You don't know me Angel," he said, then pulled himself together and sat down in his usual way on the couch, seeing how wasting his time as he wanted to see, he was planning to stay at the angel's house until the rain stopped, just as an excuse to stay with him. "And now what shall we do?"

"I thought we could read together, I have a great book that you might like."

"Why not, anything is better than nothing" said the demon, his mind on the stars and his heart next to his angel.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #good omens fic #fanfiction #la la land #so much la la land #love #mlm #good omens fanfiction #ineffable idiots #writers on tumblr

15 notes · View notes

squidgang · 3 months ago

Note

how did Namulith end up at the Temple of Bhaal? was he brought there as a child, go willingly as an adult, or was he forced into it? and how does he feel about it now?

Thanks for the ask, hoot!! So I took this and ran with it and went like 10 miles further than I thought I would :3

Buckle upppp, dear reader, my version of events regarding Namulith’s background and upbringing are very much not faithful to the in-game/universe lore, and that’s because ya girl was started making up his lore wayy before I stepped foot in Act 3 and stuff about the Dark Urge is explained, so I just made up a Guy instead of doing my research. Totally thought the Dark Urge was just a regular Bhaalspawn (that much I had indeed bothered to look up lol), so that’s the material I ran with. Also, I was raised Catholic (am atheist now) so I lowkey infused some elements of the Bhaalist religion in Catholicism for spice.

Namulith’s involvement with the Temple of Bhaal started before his birth. At his mom’s Bhaalist confirmation ceremony (she was raised in the faith by her grandmother, the ceremony happened when she was 16), she received a prophecy in the form of a vision where Bhaal declared that she was the “Promised Womb”, and when the time is right, she would bear him a son who would “devour the sun”.

Ten years later, his mom (Miralupa) was a fanatical, ambitious midwife moonlighting as a Bhaalist priestess, married to a smarmy, uxorious apothecary (Selm) with whom they share three daughters with which she both struggled to care for and connect with. On the day of an eclipse, Bhaal possesses Selm (like how it happens with Sceleritas Fel in-game), and Miralupa and he copulate, resulting in Namulith. Namulith was brought to the Temple as a baby to be Bhaalist-equivalent of baptized, but did not return until he was around 7-9 for his equivalent of a first communion (he also experienced a significant vision/hallucination there but I fear delving into that will derail the response lol) (after this ceremony, he began experiencing the impulses of the Dark Urge, which he would wind up grappling with for much of his life).

Growing up, his mom definitely treated him as the favorite child and would often tell him how he had a great destiny. She emphasized that he should never tell anyone about his occasional visits to the Temple, and he complied. His “first communion” ceremony was shared with Orin’s (which is where and how they met), and I headcanon that they’re either the same age, or she’s like a year younger than him at most. After this ceremony, he served/worked in the Temple more regularly in the capacity of an altar boy (maintaining records, cleaning artifacts, supporting rituals, etc), and also worked in his father’s apothecary at the same time (bro had very little free time growing up) (Selm was also really enthused about having a son, as he intended to leave the apothecary to him as an inheritance, so he was really hard on him about learning the business/trade). Sidebar, Selm was 100% aware of his wife’s religious affiliation, he just never brought it up or acknowledged it (he was just kinda like ‘so long as namulith has enough time to work at the apothecary I could care less what he does in the temple’)

I’ve gotta do some more ruminating about how Namulith’s confirmation ceremony specifically went down (the final initiation), but I do know that he performed it jointly with Orin (they weren’t quite friends growing up, but they were kind to one another, and he pitied her for being alone while he had siblings and friends to spend time with, and she did not). At that ceremony, it was decided by both Sarevok and Miralupa that to strengthen the sect, both he and Orin would be “betrothed” to one another, and would become the future leaders of the cult. He wasn’t a fan of this idea, but he also didn’t voice this uncertainty/discomfort, because he did not want to disappoint his mother or disrupt the plans of the order (he was always wary of the zeal of the believers, while he himself did believe, he did so with more skepticism, and never placed complete and utter faith in Bhaal until he himself was leading the cult). Years and years later, after the Dark Urge had festered and intensified, overriding his own will and resulting in him massacring his family, he seized control of the cult, casting Orin aside, and embracing the persona as the favored child and son of Bhaal….and then we all know what happens next lol.

Today, in the aftermath of the campaign of the Absolute, it’s safe to say that Namulith does not look back on his memories of his participation and leadership of the Bhaalists- he’s disgusted by his past actions not because they were heinous and immoral, but because he didn’t feel in control of himself even half the time. The Dark Urge was the most terrifying phenomenon he had ever and will ever experience in his life, and to be free of it once and for all (unless I decide to inflict it upon him again later mwahahaha) was cathartic. Even now, the period where he was the ultimate authority is wrapped in a haze, and the total account of the destruction and pain he caused is unknown to him. Now he isn’t beholden to any god or goddess, and believes religion in general is dangerous and ultimately ineffective, but perhaps he might leave a small offering to Lathander when he experiences good fortune just out of superstition once in a while.

^^^all of this stuff I hope to one day iron out and make more solid, and I currently have Namulith's background (like childhood, adolescence, and adulthood) as a WIP of its own under the title of "Red Sun" (it's just a cool private spotify playlist for now, though ;P)

#squidchat #oc: namulith dorok #gonna make a new tag and add it to posts like this #squidgang lore #bc then I'll just apply it to lore posts of other ocs later as well!

7 notes · View notes

valkyrievanessa · 1 year ago

Text

just finished rereading Magi The Labyrinth of Magic, this manga is amazing, the way this manga is not popular should be a crime, because i love it so much!!

Like, this manga have so much good things that is kinda hard to say them all, the story, the battles, the characters, the world, etc. everything is good.

it is my favorite mangá? no, of course not, my favorite manga is Land of the Lustrous (Houseki no Kuni), and it is by a big difference, but Magi, between the battle shounen, is one of the best.

The Female characters in Magi are amazing, like, not all of them, but the ones with more focus are really good. I have some problems with how Morgiana arc went, like, her entire story in magi ended up spinning around Alibaba too much and that upset me a little bit, but she still is a good character. BUT, she is not the only female character that have focus, Arba, Kougyoku, Sheba, scheherazade, etc. they are really great, even if they don't stay in the manga for too much time, they are still great characters.

Arba is a female villain so great, like, Shinobu Ohtaka was a god writing this woman, this Psychopath, religious fanatic woman is just an amazing villain from start to end.

this cruel and evil woman, i think Shinobu Ohtaka really liked her, because the amount of effort she put into drawing her, every fighting scene of her is beautiful and crazy, she might be one of my favorite villains of a manga, like, for real, this woman is amazing. But she is not my favorite character of this manga

Kougyoku is my favorite character from Magi. Princess of the Kou Empire, daughter of a prostitute with the king and by the end of the manga, empress of Kou. This character, this kind and honest girl, that falled in love with Simbad at the first sight, she grow up so much in this manga, she becomes more conffident, she becomes someone capable of ruling an entire nation and her journey is beautiful, like, i love her so much, the best character of this manga full of amazing characters.

Well, most of the characters of this manga is well written, and their stories are amazing. Simbad, Hakuryuu, Alibaba, Aladdin, Morgiana, Sheba, etc. all of them are amazing.

Read Magi, is a great story, like, a really great story.

#Magi #Manga #magi the labyrinth of magic #Arba #ren kougyoku #it should have more black characters #because this manga takes a lot from 1001 nights #and most of the characters are white #not even japanese #white #literally #this manga needed to have more people of colour #but this is just a problem #between all the good things this manga have

29 notes · View notes

backtothe99 · 1 year ago

Text

(18Trip Translation) Tao Kinouchi Novel: Back to the 99 - Track 3

all novels have spoilers for information about the characters revealed in the main story, proceed with caution!

CW: This chapter references Tao's parents' neglect, their religious fanaticism and one instance of a doomsday theory (prophecy)

Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 3

“I’m home.”

I always get a little nervous when I say these words after I come back home.

I used to worry my parents would come out from inside the house and say something–

And now, I worry what my little brother, an elementary school student who is probably waiting in here… might think.

My house is a strange one.

If I had to put it bluntly, I’d even say it’s abnormal.

I hear the sound of an electronic device coming from the end of the hallway.

That alone tells me that my little brother is the only one in the house.

If our parents were here, he absolutely wouldn’t have come out of his room.

When I looked down at the floor, I saw my brother’s sneakers in the same place I had seen them in the morning when I left for school.

… Looks like Taiki didn’t go to school today either after all.

I felt a little disappointed as I realized that.

No. I had decided to treat him as normal as possible, whether he went to school or didn’t.

… Although I’m not so sure if that’s the right choice to make.

When I entered the living room, I found my brother sprawled out on the sofa, playing on the SNES.

His pajamas were scattered all over the place, along with packets of snacks and instant noodle containers.

Even in this state, our parents wouldn’t even spare a glance at Taiki.

As usual, there’s a 5000 yen bill on the dining table.

Our parents will probably be late again because of a religious gathering. I don’t really know much, but it seems they’re high-ranking members.

“Taiki, what do you want for dinner?”

“Pizza. The usual.”

Taiki answered my question without even looking at me.

The usual would be teriyaki chicken and mentaiko mochi.

I called the pizza place from the home landline and placed the order.

I call them so often that I registered their number as an abbreviated number.

2 is the pizza shop, 3 is the ramen shop, 4 is the soba shop…

I sat on the sofa and made sure to avoid Taiki’s legs, my brother sat up and silently handed me the other controller.

“I wanna play Spitz.”

“I don’t wanna play that with you, you’ll beat me to shreds. Let’s keep playing Poyo Poyo.” He said with no hesitation, so I followed his lead and we started a battle.

For a while, we were both silent, and the only sounds in the room were the sound of slimy characters bouncing and the flashy sound effects of combo attacks.

But I always worry at times like this. Would it be better if I talked to him?

Should I tell him that he should go to school? Or do I want him to tell me something like, “Nii-chan, you should've come back home earlier”?

— It’s been two weeks since Taiki stopped going to school.

I’ve been living my life as normal, but I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Moreover, I haven’t been able to consult anyone about this. Not even Goz.

“... Did they say anything today?” I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I asked him that.

“They probably just prayed today too,” was his cold reply, “I don’t think you noticed because you were sleeping, but they were out of their minds when they left this morning. They were saying something about the coming of the end.”

"Oh... Because of King Anglomois's prophecy, I guess."

The world will end on the seventh month of 1999.

They say that's according to a great prophet from ages ago. That prophet is Anglomois, and the prophecy is called The Prophecy of the Great King of Terror.

Because of that, our parents have become more and more fanatic lately.

There are also a lot of TV specials on prophecies that seem to be indoctrinating people into taking them seriously.

Goz, simple-minded as he is, got a bit scared.

But I'm more scared of my parents, who believe in these prophecies and have been losing their minds every day, than I am of the world's end itself.

Ever since 1999 started, they have been saying things like this:

"Tao must be the only one allowed on the Ark."

"Tao is God's child, after all. The chosen one must survive."

... Taiki is usually nearby whenever my parents say crazy things like that.

And every time I think to myself and question their nerve, "How can they say that? I'm not their only child. Have they really forgotten about Taiki?"

" ... You know the bankbook grandma left behind? I saw mother take it yesterday. That's bad, right. She probably donated the whole amount."

I froze after hearing what Taiki said.

Our grandmother who passed away a few years ago was a decent person. She left the bankbook to our parents on her deathbed and told them, "Use it on Tao and Taiki's education, okay?", I know this, because I saw the conversation happen in real time.

" ... They even put their hands on grandma's bankbook?"

A dry laugh came out of me before I could stop it.

"It's unfair that children can't choose their parents."

"..."

Taiki pouted, but I couldn't say anything back.

On the TV screen, cute, colorful slimes stuck to each other and popped.

"... I can't imagine myself going to high school or anything like that." Taiki whispered.

"High school's... fun."

"Maybe for you, Tao-nii."

"If I fail the entrance exams, I probably won't be accepted." Taiki continued, and I had nothing to say back. I did think that was the case, too.

It makes me frustrated beyond what words can describe.

"Once I graduate middle school, I'm gonna work and save up money. Then I'll start a company that distributes news on the internet. I'll expose everything our parents and their cult has done."

"You need to go to high school to start a company."

"I'll make money by playing games instead of studying."

"There's no job like that. If there was, I'd be doing it."

"You'd be making millions, Tao-nii."

For the first time in a while, Taiki laughed innocently.

As I felt joy and relief, Taiki dropped his controller.

Then, he groaned and clutched his stomach.

"Taiki!"

I dropped my controller and put my arm around Taiki's shoulder.

My little brother's thin body shook, and he was drenched in sweat.

"Does it hurt? Where? Your stomach?"

"... I don't know, everywhere... Like usual, I think."

When I put my hand on his back to soothe him, I could feel his heart beating rapidly through the skin where his spine was exposed.

I quickly picked him up and carried him to his bed.

This is making my head hurt. This isn't the first time it's happened to him.

It happens several times a month, sometimes more than once a week.

I was worried, so I took him to a doctor, but they told me the cause was unknown. The tests were also inconclusive.

Later, they told me it was a psychosomatic illness.

Basically, it was stress.

Every time this happens, Taiki gets a fever. This time was no different.

I tried looking for an antipyretic, but it seems the one we used last time was the last one. I was at my wit's end, and wondered whether I should go out to buy some.

But when I went to Taiki's bedside and placed my hand on his burning forehead, he grabbed the hem of my shirt without saying anything.

Seeing my little brother like that, in pain and with tears in his eyes, I couldn't bring myself to tell him I'm leaving to get some medication.

I started to become aware of my powerlessness.

... Why does Taiki have to go through this?

It'd be better if I was the one ignored by our parents.

If it was me, he wouldn't have to endure this pain.

... I'm cold-hearted. Because of that, I gave up on our parents a long time ago. I don't get so stressed that it'd show on my body...

But I can only say that because, no matter how twisted, I'm "loved" by them. I'll probably never understand how Taiki, whose existence was ignored ever since he was born, truly feels.

"Nii-chan's gonna prepare an ice pack." I said and left Taiki's side. I could tell he was watching me leave with anxious eyes.

I went down to the kitchen on the first floor and put ice in a plastic bag. My heart ached with frustration.

Right then, I heard my phone's carefree ringtone.

"... Sorry for making you go out of your way to buy medicine. You're a huge help."

I opened the front door and bowed my head.

The call was from Goz. He just wanted to talk about tomorrow's classes and other mundane things.

He noticed I sounded gloomy and asked me what's wrong, so despite hesitating, I managed to ask him to buy some medicine for Taiki.

"C'mon, it's fine. ... Is your little brother okay?"

"It happens all the time... I gave him the medicine just now, so he'll probably fall asleep soon."

The reason for his fevers is his mind, so sometimes taking medicine doesn't fix it. But just taking them seems to make Taiki feel more at ease.

"Hey... This is just something I overhead, but... Is your brother not going to school?"

I let out a gasp. But I was sort of expecting him to ask me about it.

Goz has relatives that live nearby and have a kid in the same class as Taiki. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd heard about it from them.

I fell silent, and Goz took it as confirmation.

"Aren't you gonna tell your parents about it?"

"... There'd be no point."

"But refusing to go to school is just..."

We were supposed to just have a normal conversation.

When I heard words such as 'refusing to go to school' and 'parents', I felt something take over my chest.

I don't know how to describe what I felt. It was something like frustration, or anger.

Whatever it was, it wasn't something that should've been directed to Goz.

But next thing I knew, I was yelling.

"Don't talk like you know what's going on! It's got nothing to do with you!"

As soon as those words left my mouth, I realized I was directing my feelings towards the wrong person, but I couldn't apologize.

Because Goz flinched, and then had an immediate retort.

"I see how it is! My bad for being concerned! Take care!"

He left the room after saying that.

The front door closed with a loud bang.

And at that moment, a wave of regret washed over me.

"What the hell am I saying..."

Goz was just worried.

He may know my parents are strange, but he can't imagine they'd be so awful that they'd ignore that their son misses school or gets sick.

I just sat there, slumped over and clutching my head. I pulled on my own hair.

... I just want to protect Taiki.

I just want to be "normal" friends with Goz.

But no matter how much I try to pretend, I'm not normal at all-- I'm that fraud boy, after all.

For a while, I believed nothing was going to work out.

Novel directory: Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 1 | Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 2 | Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 3 | Wednesday, June 30, 1999 | Souta Gozu

#18trip #translations #kinouchi tao #character novel #tl99

31 notes · View notes