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panda-writes-kpop · 3 days ago

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I'll give it to someone special ~ k. mj.

a/n: Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! I wanted to have this fic out earlier but I was recovering from a nasty sinus infection the last few days that managed to travel into my lungs and give me a chest cold 🫠 it's all good though, this is the best I've felt in about a week so I'll take it. KATIE'S COMEBACK IS HERE EVERYONE RAHHH

tw: lots of food mentions, winter kind of breaks into your apartment?, mixed bag with angst and fluff so take it as you will, writing might be a bit rough around the edges since it's been three months

summary: the icy weather reminds me of your unstable "relationship" with Winter as you prepare for a Christmas party with friends. Little did you know that a late night visitor would settle your worries about Winter once and for all.

♡ Masterlist ♡

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart…

You hum to yourself as you pull the Christmas cookies from your oven. The scent of pure sugary goodness, mixed with the gingerbread candle on your countertop, is enough to make you drool.

You usually weren’t this festive when it came to Christmas. With finals season being intertwined with the holiday, it was hard to be excited about Christmas when you’re trying to not cry over an exam. Throw a few retail shifts, and you quickly grow tired of the Christmas season.

But this year… something was different. You managed to get through finals season in one piece, and your place of work decided to shuffle some non-Christmas music into their season mix.

…You still didn’t like All I Want for Christmas is You.

The lights on your Christmas tree seemed to shine brighter, illuminating the main showstoppers - the ornaments on your tree. One in particular catches your eye as you set the cookie tray down on two potholders.

It’s a simple glass bulb in your favorite color with your name engraved in cursive letters. You remember finding it on the window sill outside of your apartment last year.

A light knock on your window makes you nearly jump out of your skin as you look up from your computer. You grumble because you were finally starting to get into the groove of studying, and your final was in two days - couldn’t this wait?

You tilt your head as you notice a small box on your window sill. Cautiously, you stand up and head towards the window as you inspect the box.

It has small red and green shapes all over the box - definitely from a Christmas store, but who could have gotten something like this for you?

With a barely audible click, you open your window and grab the unexpected present, hoping that bombs don’t come in abnormally small packages.

As carefully as you can, you open the box to reveal an ornament inside.

Sugar cookies weren’t the most demanding treat to make, but they were a smash hit with your foodie friends. Add in some snickerdoodle cookies, your grandma’s famous chocolate chip cookies, some homemade rock candy, and a few other goodies, and you were a necessary addition to many of your friends’ Christmas parties.

This year, to save yourself the hassle (and a few broken cookies from the trip), you decided to host an intimate gathering with a few of your friends. Sure, your apartment wasn’t the biggest place, but you’d only have three guests.

Four, if you can count on a special someone coming your way.

With 48 hours to go, and plenty of baking to do, some late night baking was necessary to get everything done in time. As you watch the sun set (much earlier than it should), your mind wanders back to the ornament on your tree.

I know you bought that ornament for me. Minjeong.

Your phone buzzes as you concentrate on creating the perfect carrot nose for one of the sugar cookies. You don’t break concentration until it buzzes again, which makes you give your snowman an orange tongue that’s somehow connected to his stubby nose.

“Sorry, bud, we can’t all be perfect…” You mutter to yourself before setting the frosting down and picking up your phone.

You don’t recognize the phone number, but the text messages seem oddly familiar.

On my way! Don’t stay up late for me. <3

It’s already past 9 o’clock, and you’re only done with a small portion of the sweet treats you have to make, so it’s probably going to be a late night anyway… and you were terrible at listening to others.

Maybe that’s why the two of you never worked out?

There was something sweet in rebellion, besides the wonderland of baked goods that sat in your kitchen. You never were a rebellious teen, for one reason or another, so you liked to do rebellious things like stay up late, order junk food, and binge watch TV until three in the mornings.

…There’s a reason why Giselle calls you and Karina the losers of your friend group.

“C’mon, go drinking with us!” Giselle throws her arm around your shoulder, completely ignoring the way Winter tenses up at the action. “It’s no fun to eat take-out alone and rewatch the same show again and again.”

You feel the need to defend yourself as Winter’s piercing eyes meet yours for a minute before she looks away. The frown on her face neutralizes into a more aloof expression as you study her further.

“For the record, I don’t rewatch shows that often.” You say as Ningning narrows her eyes at you.

“What are you watching right now?”

“Okay, that’s besides the point!” You fold your arms after teasingly brushing Giselle’s arm off your shoulder.

“One night can’t hurt, right?” Giselle elbows your arm before continuing to march down the street. “First round’s on me!”

You sigh while choosing to pinch the bridge of your nose instead of trying to fight against your friends’ plans. They had good intentions, trying to bring you out of your comfort zone, but you’d much rather cut this meeting short. Partially because you want to go home, and partially because Karina’s absence made the tension between you and Winter so much more palpable.

The small timer next to your oven happily dings as you finally shut the oven off for the night. Although you weren’t completely done, at least everything that needed to be baked was baked tonight. You could frost and assemble everything in the morning, after you had a bit of sleep and a break from the repetitive Christmas music coming from your music speakers.

You quickly turn the dial back to zero on the timer before pulling the last round of cookies from your oven. With the sickening sweet smell of chocolate chips invading your nose, you set the cookies aside as you glance around your kitchen.

I just need to let these cookies cool, do a few dishes, and then box everything up so the gnats stay out of my sweets.

Checking the time, your shoulders slump as you notice that it’s two-thirty in the morning - where did the time go?

Good thing you don’t have work early tomorrow; otherwise, you’d probably call off.

Winter would scold me for doing that.

You chuckle at the thought - Minjeong would scold you for calling her Winter, saying it was “too formal for our relationship”.

Our relationship? What relationship could she be talking about?

Winter was your friend, just as Ningning, Giselle, and Karina were, but you two often stretched the definition of the word “friend” to its limits.

“Winter-” Your back meets the wall as Winter places two hands on either side of your head, forcing you to look in her eyes.

“I want you.” Her posture seems harsh, but her voice softens as one of her hands leaves the wall to caress your face.

She’s giving you an out - you could slip out of this situation if you wanted to. You could rejoin the party like nothing happened.

But you can’t pretend like nothing happened. Not when you’re with her.

“I want you too.” Breathless, a shaky hand beyond the control of your rational thoughts reaches out and pulls Winter closer to you.

With her face so close to yours, you press your lips against hers.

Yet words like situationship and friends-with-benefits seem too… distant for the two of you. They imply a lack of connection and romance, which definitely doesn’t seem to describe the two of you.

Unless buying flowers and intimate gifts for each other could just be seen as a friendly gesture.

“I bought you these.” You present the bundle of flowers to Minjeong, as if you were a nervous pre-teen who was trying to impress your crush.

“Oh… thanks.” Her hands ghost over yours as you pass the bouquet to her.

The lack of emotion on her face causes you to panic as you grab one of her wrists.

“If you don’t like them, I can always return them, or get some different flowers-”

“They’re lovely,” Winter interrupts you, “but I didn’t think we were close enough for gifts.”

You fake a warm, innocent smile as your brittle heart starts to crack under your false expectations of Winter.

Icy memories aside, it was time to let your mind and body rest as you made sure that the oven was turned off and the cookies were correctly sealed away-

Tap! Tap!

Luckily, nothing was in your hands as you jumped at the sound of something tapping against your window.

“Damn bird,” You mutter under your breath, “I’m going to murder Karina for feeding you.”

With the fluffiest slippers, and in your finest Christmas pajamas, you stomp through your living room to handle the avian problem that’s still tapping on your window.

When you approach the window, your birdy frenemy is missing from the window; instead, a familiar face stares back at you.

Against your better judgement, you throw the window open and offer her your hand.

“Winter? How the fuck-” You pause as she takes your hand and tries to crawl into your apartment.

“Don’t ask.” Her voice is raspy from the cold as she manages to enter your apartment. “Why did you get a third-story apartment?”

“Why did you climb up to my third-story apartment?” You stare at her, dumfounded, as Winter carefully closes the window behind her.

She freezes before turning around and shrugging her shoulders.

“I missed you?”

You pause before laughing to yourself.

“You could’ve called, Minjeong! That’s what normal people do!” You gently scold her as she rubs her arms to stay warm.

“I sent a text your way. Did you get it?”

“Ah, so that’s who sent me that message.” A tiny smile appears on your lips as she lets out a small breath of relief.

“You’re not mad?”

“At you? Never.” You smile before suddenly becoming aware of the state of your apartment. “Sorry, this place is a mess. I’ve been baking all day, and I didn’t have any time to clean.”

“No, don’t worry. I’ll help you clean up before the party.” Winter casually brushes by you to grab a pillow from your couch as you stare at her in disbelief.

“Minjeong, do you know what time it is? Scratch that, do you know what day it is?”

“Yeah, it’s the 25th - Merry Christmas, by the way - and the party’s in about twelve hours. I thought I’d help you clean up before everyone else came.”

You fold your arms as a small smile appears on your face.

“It’s the 24th.”

She stops fluffing up the pillow and turns her head towards you.

“Really?” Winter tilts her head, confused for a moment, before continuing her task. “Well, that gives me more time to help you.”

“You can’t be serious!” You follow her every movement as she appears to gracefully dance around your couch and guide your decorations back into their rightful places. “You need to sleep, as do I.”

“I’ll sleep when I’m ready to.” She brushes you off again as you feel your frustration beginning to build.

“What compelled you to see me at this hour?”

“I told you that I missed you.” With that same unreadable expression, she gently sets a Christmas teddy bear against your Christmas tree. “Isn’t that enough?”

“It’s enough when your actions match your words, Winter.” The words slip out of your mouth, callous and cold and completely unlike you.

Her expression sours as she looks at you.

“What did you say?”

You shyly look away as your frustration melts under her scrutinizing gaze. You were never good at standing up for yourself in front of her, but how could you let your heart fracture again and again as you dance in this endless “will-you-won’t-you” limbo with her?

“I’m tired of doing this with you. We flirt and tease and kiss but it never leads anywhere.”

It feels good to let your frustrations out, as you’re usually letting yourself melt into her embrace every time you’ve thought this in your head before. Although you’re not opposed to the night ending that way, you want to hear her say something first.

“Ah, so that’s what you meant.” Winter slowly walks towards you, but stops a few inches short of your reach.

She offers you her hand, an olive branch that you’re not familiar with, but you don’t take it right away.

“I want to hear you say it.” Your voice softens as you stare into her eyes.

“That I love you? I thought that was obvious - did the gifts not express my love for you? Do you want me to show you that I love you in a different way?”

“I just want to be yours, Minjeong. Sure, I’m affectionate and friendly with the other girls, but I’ve never wanted to be with anyone else since I met you. I’ll do whatever it takes. I just can’t keep doing… whatever this is anymore.” You pause to take a shaky breath. “I love you.”

You gently take her hand, which she immediately brings to her lips.

“I.” She presses a kiss to your hand before gently pulling you forward.

Her other hand cups your face as her lips meet your cheek.

“Love.”

Her hand leaves your hand and lands on your waist instead.

“You.”

Her lips meet yours, and you don’t hesitate to kiss her back.

The taste of sweet liquor, dangerous and fruity and addictive, hits your tongue as you attempt to memorize her taste for good.

It feels like every time I kiss her will be the last - isn’t that sad?

When you break away from her, you’re left breathless as a small smirk appears on her face.

“Is that enough to convince you that I love you?”

“Yup.” You sigh, completely and utterly lost in her world.

She could tell you sweet little lies, honey-coated false promises, and you’d believe every word.

She was the gospel, and you were the truest believer.

“I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel like you’re not important. I know you’re busy with university, so I always thought that you wanted to wait. I never, ever met to push you away.” Winter’s hand leaves your face and intertwines with yours.

“I… should apologize too, for not expressing myself earlier.” You squeeze her hand in reassurance. “And thank you for leaving me that ornament a year ago.”

“You knew it was me?” Winter looks bewildered as you try to hide your laughter.

“Of course I did - who else would do something like that for me?”

“I-” She pauses before shaking her head. “Of course you did. You’re much smarter than anyone gives you credit for.”

“Ah, stop, you’re making me flustered!” You playfully push her away before her hands reach out to grab you again.

“C’mon, don’t tease me like this.” She nearly begs as she glances at a picture on a nearby shelf. “Otherwise I won’t take you on a date this Sunday~”

“Wait a minute,” You immediately grab onto her arm, “you’re serious?”

“I am. We have to make it official, after all.”

You give Minjeong the biggest smile before wrapping your arms around her torso.

“Thank you for everything. I’m glad you stopped by today, even if you didn’t come through the door.”

“You’re not going to tell the others about that, are you?” She looks concerned as you impishly laugh.

“Oh, you know I will.” You gently tap her nose before pulling her in for another kiss.

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sherewrytes · 2 days ago

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𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 ℙ𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤, ℝ𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕊𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕟𝕒 6

↳ Sukuna x f! black reader

Summary: After the death of his grandfather, Sukuna Ryomen is left to shoulder the weight of his family, caring for his younger brothers, Yuuji and Choso. As he withdraws into grief, his relationship with Y/N, his girlfriend of a year, begins to crumble. When Y/N discovers the truth about his grandfather’s passing during a heated argument, it leads to a painful breakup. Now, both are navigating life apart, but Sukuna’s heart aches for Y/N. Determined to win her back, he must confront his pain and find a way to break through the walls he’s built. Can he rekindle their love, or is it too late?

contents: heavy angst, modern au, 18+, smut, dark romance, drug use, talks of depression and similar topics. (a lil )

fic warnings. ooc, profanity, mental health issues, toxic relationships, cheating, explicit smut, serious drug use, mentions of depression + more to be updated as story progresses.

Please read with proper discretion. this is a work of fiction. all characters are written to portray roles that are necessary to the plot and are in no way a reflection of their canon counterparts.

Taglist: @for-hearthand-home@clp-84@thelightknight21@favvkiki @helightknight21 @dylsw @ria-s-writes @sleepymothafterhours

if you wanna be added to the tag list comment

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Here is another chapter cause I'm still writing out the other fics right now :)

Chapter 6: The Weight of Loss

Y/N’s POV

It’s almost comical how different my life feels when I’m at school compared to when I’m at home. At Pratt, I’m a student, focused, and driven, with an entire future ahead of me. The campus is buzzing with the usual energy—students chatting, the sound of sketch pads flipping, the hum of distant studio lights. But the weight of everything outside these walls presses down on me more with each passing day.

It’s been weeks or days since the breakup with Sukuna.The loss of our relationship feels longer than the time we actually broke up but it feels like the echo of it still reverberates in everything I do. I’m trying to push forward, trying to act like I’m okay, but the reality is… I’m not. I haven’t been okay for a while.

The work in front of me should be enough to distract me. Finals are coming up, and my portfolio still feels like it needs a hundred more hours of attention before it’s anywhere near perfect. But I can’t stop my mind from drifting back to that night—his touch, his voice, the way he looked at me when he left, the pain in his eyes I couldn’t fix.

I sit in one of the studio rooms, surrounded by scraps of fabric and sketches, trying to focus on the design I need to complete for my final project. My hand trembles as I draw out another silhouette. It’s difficult to concentrate, especially when my phone buzzes on the table.

I don’t even need to look to know if it's from Utahime. She’s been checking in on me regularly. She doesn’t understand everything, but she knows enough to ask if I’m okay.

I pick up my phone, hesitating for a moment before responding. Yeah, I’m good. Just a lot of work to get through.

It’s a lie, but I don’t want to burden her with the truth. Everyone has their own problems, and I don’t want to be the one who drags them down.

I scroll through the texts, my heart dropping when I see a message from Toji. It’s just a short note, nothing particularly alarming. Sukuna's in the hospital. He’s okay, but he had a breakdown. You might want to check on him.

I read it three times before I let it sink in.

Sukuna’s in the hospital.

I bite my lip, the sting of old wounds coming back. What’s going on with him? Why does everything feel like it’s falling apart? I don’t even know how I feel anymore. I spent so much time loving him, fighting with him, then pushing him away, only for him to spiral deeper into whatever this is. And now, he’s in the hospital… alone?

I don’t even have the right to care, do I?

I put my phone down, my hands running through my hair as I try to make sense of it all. What should I do?

There’s a knock at the door, and I look up, startled. Utahime enters with a cup of coffee in her hand. She smiles when she sees me but then stops when she notices the look on my face. She doesn’t even need to ask.

“Something’s wrong,” she says gently, placing the coffee down in front of me.

I swallow hard, my throat dry. “Sukuna’s in the hospital,” I say quietly. The words feel so surreal coming out of my mouth.

Utahime doesn’t speak for a moment, just nods, as if she knew this might happen. “You’re thinking about going, aren’t you?” she asks, her voice soft.

I shake my head, my chest tightening. “I don’t even know what I’d say to him, Utahime. I—” I stop, the emotions threatening to spill over. “He played with my feelings, and I let him. I gave him everything, and now... now look at us.”

She sits next to me, her presence comforting. “You don’t have to go to him if you’re not ready,” she says, her hand gently brushing mine. “But don’t ignore what your heart is telling you. Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in anger or pride, but if you care about him, and you think he needs you—maybe you should go. Just to know he’s okay.”

I stare at the coffee in front of me, the steam rising gently. I feel so torn. Part of me wants to throw it all away and run to him, to make things right, but the other part is terrified of what that would mean.

“I’m just… so tired, Utahime. Tired of trying to fix everything,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. “And I don’t think I can keep doing this. I don’t want to keep getting hurt.”

She leans back in her chair, giving me space. “You don’t have to fix him. You just have to decide what’s best for you. It’s okay to care about him, but it’s also okay to take a step back. You don’t owe him anything.”

I nod slowly, but the weight in my chest doesn’t lift. If anything, it feels heavier.

As much as I want to ignore the message, as much as I want to pretend everything’s fine and keep moving forward, I know deep down that the story isn’t finished yet. But the question is, how do I make peace with it? How do I let go of the part of me that still wants him in my life?

I guess I’m going to have to figure it out, even if it hurts.

I stare at the message from Toji, my thumb hovering over the reply button. I could feel the tension building in my chest, the pull to cave in and see him, to check on Sukuna, to offer whatever comfort I could. But I can’t. I won’t.

I text back quickly, trying to keep my answer as firm as possible, even though doubt gnaws at me. Yes. I’m sure.

I put my phone down and take another sip of the coffee Utahime bought for me. The warmth soothes me, but it’s not enough to quell the rising discomfort I feel. Maybe I’m running away from something I should confront, but every time I think about him—about everything that happened—my chest tightens. I know I’m not ready to face him.

Mei Mei sits beside me, her usual confident and laid-back demeanor a welcome distraction. She smiles at me, her eyes bright despite the obvious tension in the air. “I heard you’ve been dealing with some drama,” she teases, nudging my shoulder playfully. “You always seem to attract it, huh?”

I laugh, but it’s hollow. “Yeah, it seems like it. Just trying to get through finals without any more drama.”

She leans back in her chair, clearly not convinced. “If you say so, but I’ve known you long enough to know when something’s bothering you.” She raises an eyebrow. “You’re not fooling anyone. What’s going on?”

I set the coffee down, rubbing my forehead. Mei Mei’s known me for years. She doesn’t give up easily, especially when it comes to stuff I’d rather keep to myself.

“It’s… complicated,” I say, sighing deeply. “Sukuna’s in the hospital.”

Mei Mei’s expression softens. “Hospital? What happened?”

I explain the basics—the fallout from our breakup, his breakdown, and the fact that it seems he’s been spiraling for months. As I talk, it feels like I’m peeling back a layer of myself I’ve been trying to keep hidden.

“I thought I was doing the right thing,” I continued, my voice shaking slightly. “But now… I just feel like I made it worse.”

Mei Mei listens, her face serious. When I finish, she doesn’t say anything at first. She just looks at me for a long time, her eyes calculating, like she’s trying to figure something out.

“You can’t keep carrying his weight, Y/N,” she says gently, her tone softer than I expected. “He’s not your responsibility anymore. I get that you care, but sometimes stepping back is the healthiest thing you can do—for both of you.”

I nod, trying to hold it together, but her words sink deep into my chest. I know she’s right. If I keep going back to him, trying to fix things that aren’t mine to fix, I’ll just keep breaking myself in the process. But knowing that doesn’t make the choice any easier.

I reach for my phone again, checking for another message. There’s one from Toji.

Y/N, I know you’re upset. I get it. But you need to understand he’s really struggling. He’s not the same guy anymore. Please, just think about it. He’s not okay.

I feel the weight of the message, the silent plea in his words. It almost makes me want to go. But no. I made my decision.

I turn my phone face down, looking back at Mei Mei. “I’m done with it. I need to focus on my future. On me.”

She smiles, a little proud of me. “Good. It’s about time. You’re a strong woman, Y/N. Don’t forget that.”

I lean back in my chair, feeling the exhaustion from the last few months hit me all at once. Finals are coming, and I don’t have the luxury of letting my emotions run the show anymore. I have to finish this. For me.

But even as I sit there, I can’t ignore the small ache in my heart, the part of me that still cares, that wonders what could have been. For a fleeting moment, I let myself imagine a different reality, one where everything with Sukuna was easier, where we were happy and I didn’t have to make these impossible decisions.

But that’s not my reality. Not anymore.

Toji's POV

I stare at the screen of my phone, Y/N’s last text still lingering in front of me. Yes. I’m sure.

The words hit harder than I expected. I knew she wasn’t going to just drop everything and run to Sukuna, but hearing it from her directly… it stings. She’s shutting him out, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Nothing any of us can do.

I glance over at Sukuna, still out cold in the hospital bed, his breathing steady for now. He’s been through hell these past few days, and I hate to admit it, but I’m worried. Despite all his bullshit, the bravado he puts up like a fucking wall, he’s broken. And it’s not just the aftermath of Jin’s death or the guilt he carries around like a fucking anchor. It’s more than that.

I thought, maybe if Y/N came, it would snap him back. But she’s not coming.

I let out a slow breath, running a hand through my hair. The room feels too quiet now, even with the constant beep of the heart monitor in the background. The silence between me and Sukuna is almost deafening, and I can’t shake the sense of impending disaster that hangs in the air.

I think about what Y/N said—how she couldn’t keep carrying his weight. And part of me gets it. She’s right. I told her before that Sukuna wasn’t the only one who needed to get his shit together, but I guess… I didn’t expect her to walk away. Not like this. Not after everything.

I can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if we’d all handled this differently. If we had talked more, not let everything fester. Maybe she wouldn’t have had to make that decision. Maybe Sukuna wouldn’t be lying here, broken and lost. And I wouldn’t be standing here, feeling fucking useless.

Sukuna murmurs in his sleep, his hand twitching slightly, and I look back at him. He looks so different when he’s not putting on that mask. I can see the fear, the guilt, everything he hides away in his waking hours. It’s all on display when he’s vulnerable, like this.

He whispers something under his breath, and I lean in closer, straining to hear him.

“Y/N… I’m sorry…”

His voice cracks, soft and fragile. He doesn’t even know I’m here. Doesn’t know I’m watching him break down piece by piece. But I heard it. He said her name.

It’s fucking killing me to watch him like this.

I stand up, running my hand over my face, trying to shake off the weight of everything. I can’t do this. I can’t fix this. No matter how many times I try to tell myself that this is his fight, not mine, I can’t stop feeling like I’m responsible. We all are.

I check my phone again. Y/N hasn’t replied. I don’t expect her to. She’s made up her mind, and honestly, I don’t know what I would say if she did respond.

All I can do is sit here and wait, hoping that Sukuna pulls himself out of this hole he’s dug. He’s going to need all the help he can get, but I’m not sure I can even be that for him anymore.

I glance back at him one last time before walking out of the room. Whatever happens next is out of our hands. I just hope for his sake, he’s not too far gone to fix it.

I step out of the room, needing some space to breathe, even though the weight of everything is still pressing down on me. My phone buzzes again. Another message from Y/N. I don’t look at it. I can’t. Not right now.

The hallway feels emptier than usual, and I’m just about to sit down when I hear footsteps approaching. I glance up, already knowing who it is before I see their faces. Gojo’s impossible to miss, his presence like a fucking storm in the calm. And right behind him, Geto, walking with that same quiet intensity he always carries. They're holding bags in each hand, the smell of fast food wafting into the air.

Gojo gives me a lazy grin like he's just come back from a fun afternoon instead of dealing with a pile of shit that’s only getting worse.

“Got you something.” He waves the KFC sandwich in the air, the crispy fried chicken peeking out from the wrapper. “Figured you could use something real to eat. You’ve been looking like you’ve been living off hospital snacks.”

I glance at him, but I’m not in the mood for a joke. I just stare at the sandwich for a second before nodding. “Thanks.”

Geto just raises an eyebrow and slides a bottle of cold Coca-Cola into my hand. "It’s cold. Thought you could use a little sweetness with all this shit."

I didn't answer immediately. Instead, I take the sandwich, unwrap it, and take a small bite. The taste is oddly comforting, and for a moment, it feels a little bit of normal. But only for a second. My mind is still a million miles away, locked on Sukuna, on Y/N, on everything that’s been happening. I can’t seem to get a grip.

Gojo leans against the wall casually, clearly unaffected by anything going on, while Geto remains quiet, eyes focused like he’s waiting for me to crack. The silence stretches, uncomfortable in its own way.

"Is he awake?" Gojo asks, breaking the tension, his voice light but his eyes searching mine for an answer.

I take another bite of the sandwich and sigh, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "Yeah, but he’s not really there. Talking in his sleep… saying her name. Y/N."

The mention of her name hangs in the air for a moment, and I watch as Gojo’s expression shifts slightly. He doesn’t show it often, but I know he can’t be completely oblivious to what’s happening. Not with how tightly he and Sukuna have been bound, even when things were rough.

“I’m sure he’s just… in his head,” Gojo says after a pause, trying to sound nonchalant but clearly struggling with his own thoughts. “He’s got a lot of shit on his plate.”

Geto’s expression hardens slightly. “He’s not the only one, Gojo. Y/N’s been through her own hell. She’s not just some side character in his story. It’s never been that simple.”

“Yeah, I know,” Gojo mutters, though he doesn’t seem entirely convinced by Geto’s words. He glances back at the door where Sukuna lies, still deep in his own turmoil. “We all know what happened between them. It’s fucked up, but that doesn’t change what he’s going through.”

The words cut through the tension like a blade. I swallow the rest of the sandwich, my stomach growing heavier with the implications of their statements. The more I think about it, the more it feels like we’ve all fucked up in our own ways. We’ve all allowed this to spiral out of control, and now, we’re left picking up the pieces.

“I get that he’s hurting,” I say, voice tight, “but what do we do now? What can we even do? She’s not coming, Gojo. She’s done.”

The words feel bitter in my mouth, even though I know they’re true. Sukuna has lost her, and there’s no going back.

Gojo and Geto exchange a look, the silence dragging on as the weight of the situation settles in. Gojo pops the cap off his own bottle of Coke, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“You just keep pushing forward,” Gojo says after a moment. “You don’t get to wallow in this shit. That’s not how it works, Toji. You just keep moving forward. That's all you can do.”

I’m about to respond when I hear a low murmur coming from Sukuna’s room. The door creaks open slightly, and I glance toward it, the worry clawing at my insides again. Gojo stands up and gives me a pointed look.

“Let’s go see how he’s doing,” he says, voice more serious now, and I can hear the weight of his words.

We all walk to the room, our steps heavy with the unspoken truths we’ve been avoiding. Inside, Sukuna stirs in the bed, his eyes barely open but wide enough to see the panic in his gaze.

“Y/N,” he whispers, almost like a prayer, his hand gripping the bed sheets tightly.

The room feels cold as we stand there, watching him struggle with the demons only he knows. His words hang in the air like a knife, cutting through the silence.

“Maybe we can fix this,” Gojo mutters softly, more to himself than anyone else. "But not like this."

I watch Sukuna’s face, the same man who used to be full of fire and rage, now broken. Maybe Gojo’s right—maybe we keep pushing forward. But even I know, with everything that’s happened, there’s no easy fix to the mess we’ve created.

Sukuna's POV

I’m trapped in the in-between, stuck in the land of the awake but not living. I can hear them talking, but my mind refuses to connect. Every word that escapes their lips feels like a blur, and I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear about Y/N or Jin or my own damn self.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor is the only thing grounding me in reality, reminding me that I'm still here, still breathing, even if it feels like everything else is slipping through my fingers. The voices swirl around me, but none of them cut through the fog in my mind. Not even Gojo’s voice, not even Geto’s.

Y/N.

Her name lingers in the air like an echo I can’t escape. It’s all I can think about. How I fucked things up. How I hurt her. How I lost her. I can’t get away from the image of her, standing there in her apartment, looking at me with those eyes—those brown eyes I used to drown in. Eyes that no longer saw me the same. Eyes that were filled with pain.

My stomach churns. I want to scream, but the words catch in my throat.

My younger brothers.

Yuuji. Choso.

I’m supposed to be their older brother. I’m supposed to be strong for them. They’ve lost so much already, and I can’t afford to lose them, too. But if I keep spiraling like this—if I let this guilt eat me alive, if I let my demons drag me under—then what happens to them? What happened to me?

I’m supposed to protect them, but I’m barely holding myself together. I can’t keep breaking like this. I can’t keep letting everything fall apart just because I don’t know how to deal with the shit that’s happened.

I’m supposed to be better. Better for them.

But how? How do I fix this? How do I fix myself when everything feels broken beyond repair?

I hear Gojo again, his voice louder this time. "He's just... lost in his head right now. We can't help him until he helps himself." It’s all I need to hear to understand that I’m not getting any sympathy here. Not from any of them. They know me too well.

And maybe that's what I need.

I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping to block out the pain. Maybe if I don’t open them, I won’t have to face the reality of what I’ve become. A broken man. A fuck-up.

But the truth is, I can’t run forever. I can’t stay in this fog of regret and self-loathing. I don’t want to be this version of myself. Not for my brothers, not for anyone. I’ve been here too many times before. Spiraling, falling, too afraid to face what’s staring me in the face. I’ve always been this way. But I can’t afford to be anymore.

I can’t let myself be the reason they lose me. Not when I still have a chance to fix it.

I hear Geto’s voice again, softer this time. "Sukuna... we’re here. But you need to come back. Come back to us." His words hit me harder than I expected, and I feel the weight of them pressing down on my chest. Come back to us.

I’m not sure how, but for the first time in what feels like forever, I let myself feel something other than numbness. A crack in the wall I’ve built around myself. A tiny opening to a possibility that maybe—just maybe—I can still get out of this.

But first, I have to face the one thing I’ve been running from.

I have to face myself.

“Y/N,” I whisper to no one in particular, my voice hoarse, rough. "I'm sorry."

I don’t expect anyone to hear it. Hell, I’m not even sure I believe it yet. But it’s the first step. And for now, that’s all I can give.

I open my eyes slowly, squinting at the harsh fluorescent lights above. The hospital room is sterile and unfamiliar, and for a second, I forget where I am. But then it all comes flooding back—the weight of my actions, the destruction I’ve left in my wake, and the realization that I can’t keep hiding from it.

I don't even remember when I said it, but those two words still echo in my mind: I'm sorry. They were the first words I’ve said aloud in what feels like forever, but they carry so much weight. So much guilt.

I sit up slowly, feeling the ache in my chest. I’m not sure if it’s from the panic attack, the guilt, or just the overwhelming sense of being broken. But whatever it is, it makes it hard to breathe, to think. To feel.

Gojo is still here, his presence just as obnoxious as ever. But there's something about him being here that gives me a sense of stability like maybe he doesn’t expect me to be perfect, but he’s still here, regardless. And Geto... Geto is just sitting there, staring at me like he’s waiting for me to get my shit together. Maybe he’s right. Maybe they both are.

“Fuck,” I muttered, running a hand through my hair. "How did I get here?"

Geto looks up from his phone, catching my eye for the first time in what feels like forever. “You’ve been here, Sukuna. You know the drill. You need to pull yourself together, for them.” His voice is calm, but there’s an edge to it. He’s tired, I can tell. We all are.

“Yeah,” I replied, my voice cracking. "For them."

It’s a mantra I’ve been repeating to myself for weeks now—for them. For Yuuji and Choso. They’ve lost so much already, and I can’t be the one to break.

But I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know how to fix this. How do I rebuild what I’ve destroyed? How do I fix myself when I’m not even sure who I am anymore?

Gojo leans against the doorframe, arms crossed. “You’re not alone in this, you know.” His words are blunt, but there’s something softer in his eyes. He doesn’t say it often, but I can see it. The understanding.

"I know." I don’t meet his gaze, my eyes locked on the floor. It’s easier that way. “But I still fucked up, Gojo. I messed it all up.”

Geto sighs heavily, shaking his head. "You didn't just mess it up. But that doesn't mean it’s over. You’ve got to take responsibility for it, man. For her... and yourself."

For a moment, I don’t know what to say. The words feel like they’re stuck in my throat. But then I think of Y/N. Her face, her eyes... the way she looked at me when I ruined everything. I see her pain in every single interaction we had before it all came crashing down. I can still feel it. The way she’d retreat from me, the way she’d pull away. And the way I never truly let her in.

"I didn’t mean for it to go like this," I finally whispered. "I never meant to hurt her."

“You need to talk to her, if she’ll allow it” Geto says, standing up and moving closer. “And if she’s willing, maybe... maybe you can fix it. But you have to start with yourself first.”

I feel the weight of his words, like he’s trying to lift me out of the quicksand I’ve been sinking into. But I’m stuck. I’m stuck in the guilt, in the shame, in the regret.

“What if she doesn’t want me back?” I ask, barely above a whisper. "What if I’ve already ruined it too much?"

"You won’t know unless you try," Gojo says, stepping forward. “You can’t undo the past, but you can at least try to make the future better. For her. For you.”

I feel something shift inside me, something small but significant. Maybe it’s hope. Maybe it’s just the desperation that’s been eating away at me. I don’t know. But it’s there, and for the first time, I let myself feel it.

Maybe it’s not too late. Maybe, just maybe, I can start rebuilding—starting with myself. I have to try. For Y/N. For Yuuji. For Choso. For me.

I stand up, feeling the weight of my body shift. My legs feel weak, but I force myself to stay upright. Geto watches me carefully as if waiting for me to collapse, but I don’t. Not this time.

I might not have all the answers, but I know one thing for sure.

I’m done running from it.

“I’ll fix it,” I murmur, barely believing the words myself. But I have to say it. I have to believe it.

For the first time in a long while, I don’t feel so alone. Maybe I’m not as far gone as I thought. Maybe I can still fight my way back from this.

Maybe I can still be the man I used to be.

the nurse filled in, "We tried to contact your emergency contact yn ln but they didnt respond. Do you have anyone who can keep an eye on you?

The nurse’s words hang in the air, thick with unspoken tension. I feel the room grow heavier as they linger, and I find myself grasping for a response. Y/N’s name still feels like a foreign sound on my lips.

I open my mouth to speak, but the words don’t come. What would I even say? She won’t answer me anymore. Not after what I did. The silence stretches between us, suffocating.

"I have—" I start, but the weight of it stops me.

Before I can finish the sentence, Toji speaks up, his voice cutting through the thick air like a knife.

"You can take my information. What do I need to know?"

I look up at him, and for the first time in what feels like days, I feel a bit of relief. Toji, as blunt as he is, never lets me down. He’s been here since the start, and I know, deep down, he’s always had my back, even when I didn’t deserve it.

The nurse nods, taking out her tablet and entering Toji’s information with practiced ease. It’s almost like they’ve done this a thousand times before, and maybe they have. Maybe they’re used to people like me. People who screw up their lives and end up here, needing a reminder that they’re not completely gone yet. That there's still a chance.

But I don’t know if I believe that.

I watch the nurse leave, and the silence settles back into the room like a heavy blanket. Toji stands there, looking at me with something between concern and resignation. He doesn’t need to say anything. I know exactly what he’s thinking.

"Stop blaming yourself," Toji finally says, his voice low, but firm. “You're not in this mess alone, and you’re not gonna fix it overnight. But you’ve gotta stop running from it, or you'll end up buried.”

I can feel his eyes on me, watching for any sign of weakness, but I can’t give him that. I can’t give anyone that. Not after everything.

"I know," I mutter, my voice barely audible.

Toji shrugs and moves to the side, making space in the small hospital room. "We all fucked up, Sukuna. But it’s not the end of the world. You’re still here."

The words settle somewhere deep inside me, somewhere I didn’t even know was still capable of feeling something. I look away, pretending the words don’t hit me the way they do.

But I can’t stop thinking about Y/N.

Her face. Her eyes. How she would look at me when I failed her. The way she pulled away.

I failed her.

But I still want to fix it. God, I want to fix it so badly that it hurts.

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do that. I’m not sure if it’s even possible. But for the first time in months, I feel like I can try. I have to try.

For me. For her. For everyone I’ve hurt.

“Thanks,” I say to Toji, my voice gruff and unsteady. "For doing this... for me."

He doesn’t respond right away, just gives me a sharp look like he’s waiting for me to crumble again.

But I don’t.

Not this time.

Instead, I stand up slowly, feeling the weight of my legs beneath me. There’s no escape now. No more running from my mistakes. No more hiding. I have to face this.

And maybe... just maybe, I can start with making things right.

For once, I don’t feel like I’m completely drowning. But the battle is far from over.

"I’ll make it right," I say softly to myself, more than to Toji.

The words feel fragile like I’m trying to piece together a shattered mirror. But I have to try.

I won’t be the man I used to be. I can’t go back to that.

But maybe, just maybe, I can be someone worth loving again.

For Y/N. For everyone I’ve hurt.

And for myself.

I’m finally being released from the hospital. The sterile white walls feel like they’re closing in as the nurses hand me a prescription for the medications I’m supposed to take. But I don't care about that right now. I just want to go home. I just want to breathe again.

The ride back to the apartment feels like it takes hours. The air in the car is heavy with the weight of everything I've done, everything I’ve messed up. I haven’t spoken a word the whole way. Toji’s driving, the only sound between us was the soft hum of the engine and the occasional rustle of the road beneath the tires.

When we get to the apartment, I’m not sure what to expect. The door’s wide open when I walk in, and there’s Choso, pacing back and forth. His voice rises, sharp and full of frustration as he glances over at me. His eyes are bloodshot like he hasn’t slept in days, and I know it’s because of me.

"Sukuna!" Choso shouts, throwing his hands up in the air, his face a mix of anger, pain, and worry. “What the hell were you thinking?! You scared the shit out of us, man!”

I flinch at his words, the sting of them going deeper than I want to admit. But I don’t say anything. I don’t have a defense, not for this. I can’t make it better with a few words. So, I stand there, silent, my head hanging low.

Yuuji’s sitting in the corner of the room, his eyes glued to the floor, his friends Megumi and Nobara beside him, looking as stressed as he is. The weight of it all crashes into me. I did this to them. I’ve been selfish, and it’s clear they’re carrying this burden with me.

Yuuji finally looks up, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm glad you're home, bro."

His words don’t hit me like I expect them to. Instead of feeling the relief I thought I’d get from hearing him, I just feel hollow. I’ve caused too much damage to fix it with just a few words. He shouldn't have to say that. I shouldn’t be the one causing him so much pain.

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” I mutter, the bitterness slipping out before I can stop it. "It’s not like I’ve been some fucking good example for you, right?"

Toji steps up beside me, his presence grounding. “That’s enough,” he says, his tone low but firm. “He’s home, and that’s what matters. Stop making this harder than it needs to be.”

Choso doesn’t let up though, his hands on his hips as he glares at me. "You’ve been running from everything, running from us, from yourself. We were worried you were gonna fucking end up dead, and now you’re back, but are you even gonna stay back?"

I want to answer him, to tell him that I’m trying, that I’m going to get better. But I know he won’t believe me. None of them will. Not after everything.

"Look," I say, my voice thick. "I’m sorry. I’ve fucked up, and I can’t fix everything in a day. But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere right now."

It’s all I can offer, and I know it’s not enough, but it’s all I’ve got. I can’t be the man I was before. I can’t just wipe away all the mistakes I made with a simple apology. But maybe I can try to be better.

Yuuji stands up slowly and walks over to me. I brace myself, waiting for him to yell, for him to say something harsh. But when he reaches me, he simply pats me on the back, like he’s trying to offer something I don’t deserve.

“It’s good to have you back, Sukuna,” Yuuji says quietly, his voice thick with emotion.

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat growing. I don’t know if I’m crying or not. But it sure feels like it. Maybe this is the first step in making things right. Maybe not for everyone, but for me, for Yuuji, for Choso... and Y/N.

The tears come without warning, falling like a flood. I feel them before I even know they’re coming, a warm rush down my face, blurring my vision. I can’t stop them. Not anymore. I’ve been holding everything in for so long, trying to keep the pieces of myself together, trying to be the strong one for my brothers. But I can’t do it anymore.

My knees give way, and I drop to the floor, the weight of everything—of all the things I’ve lost, of all the things I’ve fucked up—crushing me. My chest aches, tight, like it’s too small to hold all the guilt, all the pain.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter through gritted teeth, though I don’t know if I’m saying it to Choso or Yuuji or even myself. My voice cracks, the rawness of it is unfamiliar and painful. “Jin’s gone because of me... and Grandpa... he’s gone. They’re both gone.”

The tears come faster, like a storm I can’t outrun. I can’t hold it together anymore. Not for anyone. Not for them. Not for myself.

I hear Choso’s footsteps, feel his arms around me as he pulls me up, but I don’t want to be touched. Not right now. I want to crawl into a hole and disappear, to not have to face any of this, to not have to be the one who let them all down.

“Grandpa's funeral,” I whisper, my voice ragged. “Our parents didn’t even show up. They didn’t care. They never did.”

The words sting, but it’s the truth. The truth that I’ve been running from for years. Our parents left us. They abandoned us, and the only one who was there, who gave a shit, was Granpa. And now he’s gone, too.

“I’m tired of holding this in,” I choke out. “I can’t keep pretending to be the fucking strong one. I’m... not strong. I’m broken.”

I look up at Choso, and his face is pale, but his expression is gentle. I can see the hurt in his eyes, but there’s something else there too: understanding. He knows. He knows what it’s like to lose, to feel like you’re drowning in your own shit. And maybe he’s the only one who can truly get it.

I look over at Yuuji, and his face is full of concern. He’s standing in the corner of the room, silent, but I know the words are there, sitting heavy on his tongue. He doesn’t need to say anything, though. The fact that he’s here—just here—means more than words ever could.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” I say, my voice low and broken. “I don’t want to be like this anymore. I don’t want to let everyone down. I don’t want to keep losing people.”

But I’m scared. Scared of what it will take to fix all this. Scared of how much of myself I’ll have to break in the process.

“I’m so fucking tired,” I admit, my voice barely a whisper.

Choso pulls me close, his hands gripping my shoulders as if he can somehow hold me together. “You don’t have to have it all figured out, Sukuna. We’re here. You’re not alone in this. You never were.”

His words hit me like a lifeline, but the truth is, I don’t know if I deserve it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be the person they want me to be.

But I know one thing: I can’t keep drowning in my own shit. I have to try to be better. Even if it’s just for a little while.

I’m home. But the journey to redemption? That’s just the beginning.

#jjk x black reader #sukuna x black reader #sukuna angst #sukuna x female reader #sukuna smut #sukuna #jjk x reader #jjk x you #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #black tumblr #black reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #sherewrytes

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rekino2114 · 2 days ago

Text

Someone who cared

Eva tsunaka x gn reader

[Spoilers for p:e.g. chapter 1]

A/n:and here is the Eva fic. I hope you enjoyed cause I really loved writing it. It's the happy ending my girl deserves

You were always Eva's anchor.

Your love for her was what grounded her to reality, what allowed her to keep going on in sleepless nights spent studying, through math competition she didn't even care about and in moments where she only wanted to cry in the shower because of situations she wasn't strong enough to handle, she reminded herself that there was someone who loved her because of who she was and not what everyone else thought she was. That there was a person she could always rely on and trust no matter what happened. You made her smile, a genuine pure smile, ever since your first meeting.

When at 5 years old she looked up from her book to see a person holding an ice cream cone to her

"What?"

"It's ice cream! Oh, it's cookies and cream, if you don't like it I can go change it"

".....do we know each other?"

"No but you just looked like you needed ice cream, standing alone reading isn't that fun"

"............"

"Quick! It's gonna melt!"

"O-oh"

She closed the book and grabbed the cone, giving it a lick before looking at you sitting near her on the bench

"Is it good?"

She just nodded and you smiled at her, a smile that made her feel all weird inside

"Oh! I forgot, mom only gave me 5 dollars to buy ice cream"

You pulled out some coins from your pocket and started counting

"One, two,three fo-"

"It's enough"

"Huh?"

"The ice cream cost 2 dollars,you brought two so it's 4"

"Oh you're fast at numbers"

"It's just math, 2 x 2 is 4 simple multiplication"

".....m-multi-what?"

Your confusion made a small smile appear on her face

"Just go to pay before it melts"

"Yeah ok, by the way, what's your name?"

"Eva, Eva tsunaka"

"Oh that's such a cool name"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm y/n l/n, nice to meet you evie"

"E-evie?"

"It's a nickname, a name friends call you, do you like it?"

".....so we're friends?"

"Yep,....... oh I guess I should ask you, do you wanna be friends?"

In that moment her soul itself answered and she made the second best decision she ever made in her life

"Yeah, I'd like that"

From that moment on you entered her life and changed it for the better.

It turned out you were going to attend the same elementary school, and since you were already friends, you basically always hung out. Well, it was more like you continued to be near her until she let you read with her at recess, but she wouldn't have it any other way, because whenever you were sick she could feel the difference between reading with someone and just standing under a tree while everyone else played in the grass.

".......how do you say that?"

"What?"

"This word"

You pointed at her book

"Oh its-"

"AHHHHHH!"

Your scream alerted her and she turned to towards you to see you crouching and hugging your legs while pointing at a caterpillar

"I-it's a monster"

"It's just an insect"

"B-but aren't they poisony?"

"It's poisonous and no"

Just as she was about to keep reading, she felt something grip her. Her whole face turned red as you hugged her for protection while muttering something about the monster getting closer. The weird feeling came back. It was somewhere above her tummy, and when she talked about it with her parents as they were putting her to bed, they just laughed between each other and muttered something about her first crush. Of course, at the ripe age of 7, she couldn't understand what that was.

It was some time during middle school that she began understanding her true feelings.

"You take everything that doesn't have an x in it and move it to the right. You also need to change their signs, got it?"

"..........w-what?"

"The positive become negative and the opposite"

You tried to write something before fully giving up and putting your hands over your head

"I don't get it, when did letters make their way in math?"

Your study buddy sighed and took a pen, trying to guide you step by step through the homework

"Can we take a break?"

"Not until you figure it out"

"Please, pretty please with a cherry covered in chocolate on top?"

"No"

"Come on please, we can play super slam sisters"

"Hm?"

You grab a controller and look at her with that smile, that smile that made the feeling come back to her, the feeling that she always had when she was near you, just looking at your smile made it impossible to say no

"Ugh, I guess a couple of rounds can't hurt"

"Yay you're the best evie"

You hugged her, and she felt her face flush red again

"Are you OK? You're so red"

"I-i'm fine let's just play"

"I'm gonna destroy you this time"

"We'll see about that"

You paused the game after the fifth time you lost

"So who was gonna destroy me?"

".......ok ok i admit it...you're really good at this"

Your compliment made her heart beat again, but she put the controller down and turned towards you

"Let's continue studying"

You sighed but nodded and sat in front of the desk again

"OK now do you get it?"

"....i-i think so"

You started writing the solution and Eva looked at it before her face turned into one of surprise

"That's correct good job"

"Yay! Now can we take another break, as a reward?"

"We just had one"

".....alright"

You picked up the pen again but this time started looking at the wall deep in thought

"......thank you"

"For what?"

"A lot of things to be honest, but what I'm talking about now is....helping me"

"With math?"

"Yeah among other things"

"It's nothi-"

"No it is something"

You turned to look at her, your eyes locking with her blue ones

"My parents............they can't afford a tutor, so I decided to ask you, I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm taking advantage of you, but I just really wanna be with you"

"What do you mean?"

"The high school I wanna go to, it's the same as yours"

"Huh?"

"But if I don't have good grades they won't let me in, and......math is a subject I'm not good at"

You looked silently at her before suddenly holding her hands

"I want to stay with you, you're amazing evie, you're so smart and pretty and awesome, I want you to be in my life. So I promise I'll try my best to get good grades, to be with you"

You still have no idea why you said that, and more importantly you still have no idea how your 14 year old mind still didn't understand that maybe you felt something more than friendship for the back and white haired girl. But if you could go back, you'd say the exact same thing, not only because that's exactly how you felt but also because of what happened during high school.

Eva couldn't handle it anymore, the feeling in her chest she learned to call love was growing more and more with every day you spent together, with every time she had to remind you to pay attention in class and with every afternoon spent studying and playing slam sisters. She felt like her heart could explode if she didn't do something soon.She needed to do something about it.

But what could she do? Confessing would be very risky, if you didn't feel the same, it would have genuinely destroyed her, not only because you wouldn't be dating but mostly because she knew that no matter how much you tried to fix things and play it off as if nothing happened, your friendship would have never been the same, it would have all felt so awkward and uncomfortable and it would have probably been better to just end your friendship before it became even worse.

She could not handle that. You were her best friend. Her............only friend.

But she also knew better than anyone that if she didn't confess, someone else probably would and seeing you hanging out and kissing someone else while knowing that if she had just been braver that could have been her, would have destroyed her even more.

So she decided to act on valentine's day of your second year of high school.

"So what's with the chocolates?"

Your sudden question makes Eva spit her water

"W-what are you talking about?"

You pulled out the chocolate box with the letter inside

"Only you would do something like this"

You showed her the note which simply said "128√e980"

You unfolded the letter showing that the equation spelled "I love you"

"The chocolate are also my favorite flavors, but the note is the obvious part"

".........I know it's stupid but-"

"It's not stupid, it's pretty cool actually, even if it did take me a while to understand eheh"

Eva looked away embarrassed but quickly grew even more flustered when you held her hands

"But I want you to tell me that you love me"

"I-i just did-"

"No, I want Eva tsunaka to tell me that she loves me, not the mathlete that everyone thinks you are, tell me with your own words, the ones from the bottom of your heart, not numbers. then I can accept"

Eva started sweating, for what reason she doesn't know, maybe her cheeks got so hot that they actually started burning, but she calmed herself and took a deep breath before speaking

"Y-you make my heart beat, I feel all weird when I'm with you, I just want to smile and hug you for no reason, ever since we were kids, I now know what that is, I love you, I can 100% say I love you"

You smiled brightly, and she couldn't help but smile too. You always had this effect on her. She just couldn't help but feel happy with you.

"I love you too, evie, you're the best girl I ever met, and I wanna be with you forever"

You suddenly kissed her, it was a very soft and short kiss, but it still succeeded in making her blush even more than anything that happened before, but still she wanted to feel like this more so she kissed back. And with that she officially became your girlfriend.

She can confidently say that confessing to you was the best decision she ever made. Simply because the years where you two were together were the best of her life.

It was the small things you did for her, those things that made her feel seen and special, something like buying her something for breakfast when she didn't have to eat because she was busy studying, or just listening to her rant about a new ARG she helped solve on the internet.

Even the more embarrassing things like showing up to one of her math competition with a whole banner with a bad but admittedly really cute drawing of her face and her name written with a heart while yelling:

"YEAHHHH! THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND EVERYONE! SHE'S SUPER SMART, DESTROY EVERYONE ELSE EVIE!!!"

Sure, it made her want to die in the moment, but she would definitely be lying if she said it didn't warm her heart knowing that you cared so much about her and about her winning a competition even she didn't really care about

Just like your reaction to her getting her ultimate warmed her heart.

She hated being the ultimate mathlete. The utp just gave her this title without regard to who she really was and who she wanted to be, and she ranted to you about exactly that while cuddling. You just wrapped your arms around her and started comforting her

"Listen, I don't care what others say about you, or what they expect of you, to me you're Eva tsunaka, the amazing girl that i feel in love with, I couldn't care less about your ultimate,that doesn't define you to me and it shouldn't to anyone else. I love you because you're you ok evie?"

She felt her heart beating even faster than when you kissed her. Your words made her feel understood and so, so loved. She really needed someone like you

While she hated her talent, she couldn't deny that the fact that she was glad to have it if only because the utp gave you one too, and you would be attending eden's garden academy together.

"Are you OK evie? You look nervous"

She took a deep breath and sat on the bench in the train station

"......yeah, I guess I'm just worried about what people are gonna think about me"

"You mean your talent?"

She nodded as you sat on her right and held her hand

"If people pick on you because you're good at math, then that just means they're stupid and can't handle that someone is prettier and smarter than them"

"Hehe......thanks, but that's now what I meant"

"I know......then just get to know them"

"Huh?"

"If you get to know more people than they'll know the real you, the amazing girl you really are"

"............"

"Eva listen, I'm saying this as your partner and with nothing but your best interests in mind. I think you need more friends"

".....d-don't-"

"Or at least people to talk to, I know you have me, but I'm scared that I'm not enough, I want you to be happy, ok? So please, at least try, I don't care if you fail, but at least try to let people know that you're not just a mathlete, but a genuinely wonderful person"

Eva sighed and you kissed her cheek for comfort

"........I'll try my best"

"That's what I like to hear. Now get up and grab your luggage the train is almost here"

After the train arrived, you walked in it hand in hand, seeing all the faces of your future classmates. Little did you know that that train was gonna be the boat that would bring you to hell.

You knew Eva was lying about her talent. You knew from the moment the words ultimate liar slipped from her mouth, and you also knew exactly the reason why, she had told you why not that long ago after all. And you respected her choice. You didn't even need to talk to each other to make an agreement, with only a single glance she knew you would protect her secret as long as necessary.

The announcement of the killing game and the mock trial felt like a blur, you helped investigate, mostly convinced by your girlfriend, but you still couldn't believe it, sure the body was just a puppet but it was the recreation of a real murder, someone was killed so brutally, it made you.....sick.

And when the killing game was officially started that sickness spread over your entire body, will someone of your classmates be killed in such a brutal way? Will you? ......will Eva?

When Wolfgang started to speak, you wanted to say something. Sure, it was nice to think that no one was going to murder each other, but you knew it was impossible. You only started to talk when everyone singled out Eva and Damon for speaking their mind. You defended them, obviously. You told them that Eva was right, and even if it was a harsh truth, it still was the truth. After being judged because of that you just hugged Eva and you two went to sleep in her dorm.

The day the infirmary was revealed, Eva's true ultimate was too. You couldn't do anything but the exact same thing you had been doing this entire time, comfort Eva and try to counter your classmates' comments directed at her. You hugged her again, and you could feel how heavy and tired she was, even if she didn't want to let you know, everything that happened was weighing heavily in her mind.

"C-can you come with me?"

"Huh?"

You opened your eyes and looked down at Eva. She was still hugging you, but her eyes were now locked on yours

"Sure"

She guided you to a point in the infirmary and pointed at something

"A......plushie advertisement?"

"Yes, I already showed it to damon"

"......d-do you want me to buy it?"

"H-huh?"

"I thought you already had a plush-"

She blushed and quickly shut you up

"N-no it's not the plushie, it's a code"

"Oh for the door?"

"Duh"

"Did you figure it out yet?"

"...........no"

For the second time in the game, she lied

"Oh, I see, it's alright if you don't, these kidnappers seem really smart"

"........yeah"

"Well, me and Diana wanted to eat together. Do you wanna join us?"

"No it's fine, I'll go take a nap"

"That's understandable after everything that happened, love you"

"Yeah"

You kissed her cheek and started to go outside but stopped and looked back

"Hey Eva?"

"Hm"

"Can I.....tell you something?"

She nodded and you started approaching her

"..........I'm scared"

"Huh?"

"I'm scared that I'll die, that you'll die and that I couldn't do anything about it.....so can you at least promise me something?"

".......o-of course, what is it?"

You put your pinky in the air

"Let's make it a pinky promise"

"......seriously?" That's so dumb"

"Come on, just do it"

She sighed and intertwined her own pinky with yours

"Let's promise each other that we'll never kill someone"

"W-what?"

"I can't do anything if someone decides to kill you, I can only hope no one does, but if you kill someone, then you'll most likely die..........and if you don't-"

"Then you'll die, with everyone else"

"Yeah, so let's promise that we'll never kill anyone, so our chances of survival increase"

The next words she said were the third best choice she did in her life because, like her confession and acceptance of your friendship, her own soul spoke unfiltered by her brain or other emotions

"..........yes, I promise"

"Great! It's a pinky promise, remember. So if you break it your pinki will fall"

She giggled

"I think that will be the last of my concerns if I kill someone"

"Hehe, Yeah I guess you're right"

You kissed Eva on the cheek and went outside, waving at her. She waved back as her smile faded, she looked at her pinky.... and went to her dorm.

She couldn't handle it anymore, the thoughts were eating up her mind, she was going to die, everyone hated her, of course she was going to be the first victim, she would die.......so she needed to do something about it.

She wiped her tears with her sleeve and put her glasses back on, went to the infirmary and found herself face to face with the door.

She imputed the first two numbers automatically almost as if her body moved itself, she was about to imput the third when she actually started thinking

What did she want to gain by going in that room? She didn't even know what was on the other side..........was she just curious?

No, she knew. She knew that whatever she was gonna find would seal her fate, that it would force her to kill someone.......force

It's funny that she used that words in her thoughts, force, like she didn't already knew who to kill and how to do it, like she didn't already know who to frame and how to act in the class trial, like she didn't already look through the infirmary to see if there were hallucinogenics.

She inputted the third number and took a moment to breathe, her hand on her chest.

When she was about to move her finger in the direction of the last panel, she noticed something.

The floor was wet.

She looked down and saw that her shirt was too, not by much, it was when she brushed her hand against her cheek that she realized where the water was coming from.

She was crying.

How did she not realize it all this time? Why was she sad? She had already decided her fate, was she scared of getting found out and dying? she had nothing to live for anyway, everyone in this damn academy hated her, she was going to die anyway and no one was going to care about it, they weren't going to investigate how she died and the person who killed her would probably be cheered as they got executed. There was no one who cared about her, just like in her entire life.......no one cared about the true her.

Her finger grazed the fourth number when she remembered something

"Let's promise that we'll never kill someone"

"I love you because you're you ok evie?"

As soon as those words entered her mind, she just fell down on her knees, her body unable to hold the weight of her conscience anymore. She started crying, this time knowing exactly why.

She was going to betray you. She was willing to let you die just because of something that wasn't even true. You cared about her, the real her, you would have cried if she died, and you would have felt betrayed if she killed someone. You loved her, and she betrayed that love by even thinking about committing the murder. She didn't deserve you, she needed to say sorry to your face.

When she finished crying, she immediately went to your dorm, the knocking woke you up, and you were confused to see that Eva was no longer in bed with you. You were worried, considering that you decided to bunk together, so you carefully opened part of the door and saw it was your girlfriend, you saw that her eyes were red so your worry grew even more, you completely opened the door and Eva immediately tackled you in a hug.

"E-eva, what's-"

"I'm *sobs* so sorry, I'm so so sorry"

You could see she started crying crying, so you held her close and started comforting her, not caring about the tears getting on your shirt.

When she calmed down, she sat on the bed and started explaining everything to you, about how everything was getting to her and drove her to think about killing someone. She expected you to hate her. She was one step away from betraying you and throwing away her life, you were very justified to hate her, to break up with her, as much as she didn't want that to happen.....because then she would have been truly alone.

But you hugged her instead, and told her that it was OK, that the fact that she didn't go through was what mattered, that you would always be there for her, no matter what happened

"N-no you- you don't understand!"

She continued sobbing between words

"I-I was about to kill someone, to break our promise! I was ready to throw away your life because of this game!"

"......................"

"W-why did you forgive me so fast!? Why don't you hate me!?"

"........I could never hate you"

"H-huh?"

"I love you Eva I love you so much, I already told you so many times, I know that in a normal situation you'd never do something like this, I don't hate you, I hate tozu and this game, because I've seen the real you, and the real Eva is a girl that would never commit a murder, I feel in love with you and I could never hate you. I love you Eva, please remember that"

Eva wanted to say something more, but she just felt so tired. She had cried and felt too many emotions for a day, so she just thanked you and held onto your body as you two drifted to sleep.

The next day, she woke up feeling better. The night spent thinking about the situation and waking up next to you made her realize how lucky she was to have you and that she should hold on to you and love you just as much as you did.

After talking it over and getting ready, you two went to the dining room where Cassidy told you she had found a copy of super slam sisters and asked you to participate in a tournament.

"Oh, you love that game, eva . Do you wanna participate together?"

"I.........."

She looked at you smiling so brightly at her........and smiled back

"Yeah, I think having fun is what I need"

"Great! So we have all the couples, get ready cause it will be a blast!"

When the game tournament started, you held Eva's hand as you two watched the other students play.

"OK now it's Eva's and y/n's turn"

"Get ready evie, because this time I'll win!"

She rolled her eyes as she took the controller

"You always say that"

She ended up winning very easily but offered you a kiss as a consolation prince

"Wow that was insane Eva, how did you do that?"

"Oh, it's not that hard. You just have to watch your opponent and move accordingly"

"You gotta teach me that, you might even be able to beat me! Let's train together sometimes, Please?"

"H-huh?"

"And then we could do your make-up, I wanted to hang out with you......i-if you'd like"

"I.....don't think I'd look good with make-up"

She felt you putting your arm on her shoulder

"I think you'd look amazing in any way"

You smiled again and she felt her heart getting warm, not just at you but at the situation in general, she felt seen and understood, and it was all thanks to you, she's so glad she remembered you yesterday.

She looked back at her pinky and then at you, suddenly you felt Eva's arms wrap around you to the surprise of everyone in the room. She simply murmured two words

"Thank you"

You knew exactly why she thanked you, so you just hugged her back until she pulled away and looked at you again.

You cared about her, the real her, you loved her despite everything and she could never imagine a world without you, she could never imagine what she would have done if you weren't there, if you didn't enter her life.

She was so, so glad to have you.

#project eden's garden x reader #project eden's garden #p:eg x reader #p:eg #eva p:eg #p:eg spoilers #p:eg eva #p:eg chapter 1 #project eden's garden chapter 1 #p:eg eva x reader #eva tsunaka #eva tsunaka x reader #x reader #gn reader #fanganronpa x reader #fanganronpa

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cosette141 · 2 days ago

Text

You, Me, and Who You Used to Be | CS Fic (CSSS 2024 Gift for BelovedCreation)

Merry Christmas!!

I'm your Santa this year!! :) 🎄🎄

Using your prompts of pining, Enchanted Forest, and angst with a happy ending, I give you:

Summary: (CS movie divergence) After getting her parents back on track, Emma’s magic returns. But before she can conjure a portal home, Killian is abducted. Alone in a world she knows nothing about and with no idea how to find Killian, Emma enlists the only person—or rather, pirate—who would be as motivated to save Killian as she is. However… Killian’s past may just be what destroys the future. CS

AO3

Words (so far): 5k+

NOTE: This is currently only the first chapter of this fic - long story short, the fic I spent weeks on just was not coming together, so I last minute changed to this one. It was an idea I had written the beginning of years ago that I remembered when I was trying to find something to align with the prompts you gave me :D so I knew it would be perfect to write for your gift!! I spent the past week working super hard on this trying to get it finished for you in time, but it was getting so rushed and you do not deserve a rushed gift!! So I decided to give you the first 5k words now, and I'll be updating it with the rest over the coming weeks! :)

Chapter One (under the cut!)

A/N: Story context: This is a canon divergence of the CS movie, which begins right after Emma gets the wand from Rumplestiltskin. (He does not send him to his vault of do-not-touch things in this version tho. We’ll pretend Elsa gets to Storybrooke some other way lol. I’ll also be ignoring Marian, which, the show pretty much did when it just ended up being Zelena anyway lol.

Emma smiled at the faintly glowing wand in her fingers, feeling the warmth of the return of her magic, lighting a glow in the vast dining room of Rumplestiltskin’s castle.

Everything was back on track.

Including herself.

Perhaps she had been trying to take the easy way out, blocking her magic from returning so she could go back to New York with no ties left behind.

But more than anything, it was Killian’s smile now that made the warmth inside her grow even more, and if it wasn’t her imagination, made the wand spark a little brighter.

“It works,” whispered Emma, staring at the wand in awe, eyes snapping to Killian. “My magic is back!”

“I knew you could do it, love.” said Killian softly, a relief in his eyes, like it was for both the possibility of getting back home, and for the fact that he still blamed himself for her powers being taken in the first place.

“Ah, the Savior, of course,” murmured Rumplestiltskin from his perch on the edge of his dining table. “I should have known you would have magic of your own.”

Emma suddenly realized just how much Rumplestiltskin knew. “Is it a problem that you know…?”

“It would be,” he agreed, but lifted his hand, where a potion bottle materialized. “However, I have spent the past few hours mixing myself a Forgetting Potion.”

Emma smiled. “Good. Well, let’s do this, then.” She then lifted the wand, about to attempt to bring forth the time portal.

“Wait, wait, wait,” said Rumplestiltskin, jumping down and pushing her hand with the wand down. “Not in here. You might bring any number of my possessions with you.”

Emma winced, eyes finding the myriad of scary-looking things in the castle, wondering just how catastrophic that could be.

She looked from Killian’s raised eyebrow to Rumplestiltskin. “So where do we—“

But not a second later, Rumplestiltskin’s castle was gone, and suddenly they were outside. Trees, greenery and blue sky replaced the walls of the Dark One’s abode. They weren’t too far from the town below, and not far off was the sea. But they were in an empty enough area of the forest that no one should see anything, and nothing should come with them.

“Well,” said Killian, giving her another smile, “ready, there, Swan?”

Emma nodded. She lifted the wand again, concentrating on her magic, on the emotion in her chest, bright and raw. The tiny flicker of a portal, like a zipper drawn in the very fabric of the air, appeared before them.

Killian grinned. “That’s it, lo—”

He was cut off with a grunt, and Emma’s eyes snapped to him, her concentration broken and the tiny beginnings of the portal fizzled back out of existence.

Emma’s heart stopped.

They were no longer alone.

A burly, muscled man had his arm around Killian’s neck in a chokehold, his other arm pinning Killian’s left arm to his side. Killian let out an angry, surprised snarl, jerking hard against the grip.

“Hook!” cried Emma, jamming the wand in her back pocket to hide it and running toward him, only skidding to a stop when three other thugs suddenly flanked the first.

“Sw—“ began Killian, his right hand scrabbling at the hold around his neck, but his airway was quickly cut off. Red rushed to his face, and Emma’s heart froze.

“Sorry, darlin’,” said the man’s raspy voice. “We got direct orders to bring Captain Hook in. He stole from us last night, and now he gon’ pay. Pretty stupid to show yer face in the open like this, without yer crew, no less.” A dark chuckle. “Shoulda sailed away when he had the chance.” To someone behind him, he shouted, “Lucky catch, men!”

Killian struggled against them, something angry and feral, landing a blow to the man's gut. The man growled and stumbled, and Killian reared back to hit him again until the man snapped, “Stop fightin’ or the wench dies!” That made Killian freeze, staring at her with icy horror.

For a moment, Emma and Killian stared at each other, and it felt like time stood still.

Panic rushed through Emma's chest.

Magic.

But she had no idea how to use her magic.

And if she took even a step forward, she'd get a sword through her in seconds.

Killian grunted as a second thug grabbed him on his other side, ripping Killian's sword from his sheath.

Panic rose even sharper in Emma's chest.

Killian swallowed, eyes locked onto her. “Go—home,” Killian managed, his eyes pleading and broken, with something in them that looked like goodbye, only making Emma’s eyes burn.

“Hook—!” breathed Emma, running for him, but froze when three swords pointed in her direction, so close to her it made her stumble back, falling to the ground.

And by the time she made it back to her feet, they were gone.

-.-.-.

Dark had fallen.

The air had chilled.

But none of it gave her the cold dread inside her chest.

She’d searched for hours.

But those men obviously knew this forest better than she did, and it was easy to get lost in it.

Too easy.

She let them take him.

Emma kicked herself.

She should have done something.

She should have been spending all the time back in Storybrooke learning magic instead of shoving it away.

Because now Killian was gone, and it was all her fault.

She got them stuck in the past.

She was the reason Killian stopped trying to free himself from those bastards.

She was the reason that they may never see each other again.

Emma couldn’t stop seeing his eyes.

The resignation.

The defeat.

The horrible, utter sadness.

She was now alone, and she’d never felt this alone in her entire life.

It was one thing to grow up being alone.

And it was another thing entirely to find people, to fall for people, and to have them ripped from you.

It was an entirely different thing to know what it felt like to not be alone.

And ever since meeting Killian, more or less after he decided to become a part of something , he’d been practically glued to her side. He’d voluntarily gone back to the land he hated more than anywhere, he’d given up his revenge, he’d found her in freaking New York City —an endeavor Emma still didn’t know how he managed to do—and how he managed to find her in a world he knew hardly anything about?

Emma stopped on the path, feeling the chill of the air.

Even the air felt different in the Enchanted Forest. It felt… unearthly, which, wasn’t exactly off point. The magic in the land seemed to crackle like a charged atmosphere. The animal sounds, the nightly coos and caws were different, and all this different was unsettling and…

She really, really didn’t want to admit she was scared.

But Emma didn’t have Mary Margaret with her this time. She didn’t have a princess squad to help her through. And, she didn’t have Hook.

Killian, who was god knew where.

He might even already be—

No , said a firm voice in her head, trying to quell the hair that raised on the back of her neck at the thought. They wouldn’t have kidnapped him if they were going to be quick about it.

The idea of him suffering at all…

Emma swallowed, hard, trying to shove down the rush of panic that shook her fingers.

How the hell was she supposed to find him?

She was a complete outsider.

She not only wasn’t from this town, she wasn’t from this world , and she wasn’t from this time, not by a long shot.

She was trapped thirty years in the past, and Killian could be anywhere.

“Go home.”

Emma shut her eyes at Killian’s echo.

Go home.

He wanted her to go home.

He wanted her to leave him here, conjure the portal, and go home.

The very fact that he thought she would made her chest hurt, because how could he think she’d leave him here?

But…

“You really thought I’d let you drown?”

“Given our history, can you blame me for being uncertain? ”

Here she was thinking how he could possibly think she didn’t care about him, when…

“Do you even care about them? Or anyone in this town?”

He said anyone.

He meant me.

And replaying it all, how could she think he’d know she did?

All she’s done since he saved her in New York, was walk away from him.

But she did care.

She more than cared.

And now, she may never —

No.

Emma opened her eyes, ignoring the burn in them.

Determination set into her face, Emma made up her mind without hesitation.

There was no way she was leaving here without Killian.

The thought of returning to life without him, living without him…

It felt wrong.

Something about him in her life just made sense. Even now, she felt like something was missing, and suddenly she was wondering how she ever considered leaving her family, leaving him, to go back to New York.

“Go home.”

She couldn’t go home when he already became her home.

But…

How on earth—or, how in the Enchanted Forest—was she supposed to find him?

And before they did something terrible and irreversible to him?

“He stole from us last night. Now he’s gon' pay.”

Emma blinked.

Killian didn’t steal anything from anyone; she knew he hadn’t. He’d been too concerned with messing up the time continuum.

He hadn’t stolen.

But Emma had a pretty good feeling who had.

And Killian was currently paying for his crime.

Emma smiled grimly, a plan unfolding in her head.

She started walking, faster this time.

She just hoped the Jolly Roger was still in port.

-.-.-.

Emma clung to the shadows when she entered the town.

Thanks to Rumplestiltskin returning her clothes, she was no longer wearing the ragged dress and cloak that they had stolen, and was back in her jeans and leather jacket. Something that, Killian’s voice reminded her, hasn’t come into vogue, ever. So… she had to be careful. They just fixed the timeline; they cannot ruin it all over again.

But Killian was worth that risk.

As she clung to the dark areas of town, Emma was reminded of a younger her, living on the streets, dodging shadowy corners to pitch black alleyways. It was evening, the sky blackening with an array of stars, but the town still bustled with life, mostly around the taverns.

Emma passed the tavern she and Killian had found his past-self in, and Emma risked a look inside, but he wasn’t there.

Her heart quickening, Emma suddenly worried he wasn’t even in town.

She picked up her pace, following the path past-Hook had led her down when he’d been her inebriated guide.

Emma emerged from the cover of an alley, looking up to see the sea, and ships of all sizes moored at the docks. And among them—

Emma felt relief flood her.

The Jolly Roger.

She smiled despite herself, picking up her pace. As she got closer, she could see the crew retracting the anchor—

They were leaving.

Her heart pounding, Emma began to sprint.

With grunts of heaving, two members of the Jolly’s crew were lifting the gangplank.

It was halfway up when Emma got to it, flinging herself off the dock and onto it, barely making the jump. She slid down the wood, landing in a heap on the deck.

“What in the blazes—?!”

The two men nearly dropped the gangplank, but managed to finish shutting it, faster, as if worrying that someone else was going to attempt Emma’s jump.

Her entire body throbbing from the mistreatment, Emma slowly picked herself up from the deck. She quickly noticed at least a dozen pirates were staring at her in shock.

But a voice broke through the din, and Emma would recognize it anywhere.

“Well, you don’t bloody see something like that every day.”

-.-.-.

Despite her protests, Emma had been manhandled by two of the crew members and dragged into the Captain’s Quarters a moment after she’d seen him. He’d witnessed her reckless jump onto his ship, but hadn’t said a word to her yet.

She was currently in the chair opposite his desk, two burly hands on her shoulders keeping her pinned down, and Hook was in his chair behind the desk, staring at her in silence.

“What are you doing aboard my ship?” he said finally.

Emma flicked her eyes to the pirate holding her down, then back to Hook. “I’ll tell you, but only you.”

Hook sighed, then flicked his eyes to the man behind her, giving a minute nod and a slight roll of his eyes. Then, when the door clicked shut, he gave her a pointed look.

Emma let out a breath, her heart beating in a frenzy. This Hook was not half as drunk as he was when they last met. His gaze on her was cold and measured and there was no trace of the softness Killian had now. It unnerved her, this air of danger he held, sitting before her. Waiting.

But Emma swallowed, trying to remember, this is still Killian. Just… buried under two hundred years of pain and resentment.

It didn’t make her feel better.

“I need your help.” said Emma at last, holding his gaze.

His brow lifted, like that was the last thing he’d expected her to say. “My help?” he echoed, lips twisting a little in amusement. “I’m a pirate captain, lass. You’ve mistaken me for someone who gives. Pirates take.”

Emma resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the irony that all he’s done the past two years was give.

Worry fluttered in her stomach, suddenly wondering if her Killian was all right.

And when did he start being ‘her’ Killian?

Emma let out another breath. “Yeah, that’s actually what brings me here. All I need to know,” said Emma slowly, “is who you stole from last night.”

She’d thought it through; if she could just get the name or the place of the person who he’d stolen from, she could go find Killian without Hook ever needing to know she was from the future.

Hook paused.

Suspicion suddenly gleamed in his eyes.

He stood, and rounded his desk until he was standing before her.

The suspicion only deepened in his eyes.

Emma could feel the danger radiate off him like a cologne.

She was trying not to shrink under his intense gaze when he leaned even closer, his face inches from hers. He searched her eyes.

“You,” he whispered. “I remember you.”

Emma’s heart skipped. “You do?” she breathed.

She should have known it was irrational to think he meant he remembered knowing her.

Because his eyes narrowed, coldness in the blue. “You owe me a nightcap, love.”

Emma froze. “Oh,” she said, biting her lip. “Didn’t blame the rum, huh?”

He leaned back slightly, but looked no less predatory. “I’m guessing this is from you as well,” he said, brushing the metal of his hook to his cheek where Killian had hit him.

Emma winced. “Not exactly—“

He was suddenly in her face again, eyes narrowed, colder than ice. “You were trying to get me drunk. To get on my ship,” he muttered. “Why?”

Oops.

Emma tried to think fast.

She did not like a version of Killian that scared her, and this one did exactly that.

As if to prove the point, he raised his hook, tracing her jaw until the tip was underneath her chin, forcing her head up. Emma gasped reflexively, suddenly realizing how bad of an idea this had been. “Tell me,” he hissed, “or this will be rather unpleasant.”

Emma swallowed, trying to stem the rush of fear. To hell with the timeline. “I’m from the future.”

His brow rose sharply, surprise and a little confusion slipping into that cold expression. Clearly time travel was not one of the things he’d expected her to say.

It was the second time she’d surprised him, and Emma knew he wasn’t an easily surprised man.

Before he could interrupt, she went on, wincing as the sharp tip of his hook stung. “I’m telling you the truth,” she said quickly, fear sending a shiver down her spine. “I’m from… about thirty years in the future. I think. It’s really hard to keep track with all the curses," she finished, which even to her ears sounded like she was crazy.

“Time travel is unheard of.” said Hook, dismissing her whole story.

"You spend two hundred years on an island where time doesn't even exist and this is too crazy for you to imagine?" snapped Emma exasperatedly.

He ignored her. “Now, what are you really doing on my ship? Clearly if you’d gotten what you wanted, you wouldn’t have been daft enough to return.” His eyes looked her up and down, his brow lifting when his eyes reached hers, and Emma glared at him. “And if I had gotten what I wanted, that night would not have ended with you injuring me.” A cold smile. “Well, not in the traditional way, anyway.”

Emma huffed out a breath, almost forgetting just how innuendo-clad he once was. “Look, I’m telling the truth . I need your help to—“ She gasped, the tip of his hook digging slightly deeper.

“You will tell me what I want to know,” said Hook quietly. He removed his namesake, and Emma winced. “I’ll give you the night to think it over. Lie to me again," his voice lowering, dipping into the personification of danger as his gaze bored into hers, and she tried not to shrink under it, "you’ll be walking the plank in the morning.” He moved away from her, and Emma realized she'd forgotten how to breathe.

“Hook—“ began Emma, but Hook simply barked, “Jenkins!”

The door opened, and one of the men who had dragged her down here walked inside.

“Take her to the brig.”

Emma’s heart pounded. “No— Hook,” she said quickly as he sat nonchalantly back at his desk. “I need—“

Emma was grabbed from behind and forced out.

He didn’t look up as they took her.

But when he thought she was out of sight, she saw him briefly touch his fingers to his lips, something unreadable stirring in his eyes.

-.-.-.-.

Emma waited until she was left alone, and the ship had quieted down enough to suggest the crew was asleep.

They’d bound her hands in front of her, which was their first mistake.

Feeling a sense of deja vu, Emma felt along the ground until she found something useful. Finding something sharp and thin enough to work, she quickly got to work on the lock to the cage.

The trouble was opening the door without it creaking, which took her plenty of precious minutes.

Once free, she left the brig, and quietly made her way to the armory.

It was good that she was familiar with the ship after Neverland. Plenty of hours on the water had her nervous energy getting the better of herself and she’d done some extensive exploring. She’d paced the ship enough to know where its creaky boards were, so she was inside the armory in silence quickly.

Emma grabbed the first blade she could find—a knife—and freed her hands, then took the gag from her mouth.

Gripping the knife in her shaking hands, Emma left the armory, walking down the hallway to the door at the very end.

The Captain’s Quarters.

Feeling plenty of uncertainty, but needing to know where Killian was, Emma slowly reached for the door handle, glad the ridiculously loud chorus of snoring from the crew covered much of the noise she made.

Slowly and without breathing, she opened his door.

Emma shut it just as quietly, and the noise of the snoring was muted.

Emma turned.

The cabin was dark.

And there, lying on his bed, was Hook. Asleep.

She could see him breathe beneath the blanket.

Carefully, and avoiding every creak in the floor she knew of, Emma crept up to his bed.

Then, she held the knife an inch from his throat, opening her mouth to wake him.

“Do I need to explain what a nightcap is to you?”

Emma jumped a mile in her skin.

Hook’s eyes were open, and he looked from the knife at his throat to Emma. A raised brow, he deadpanned, “You escaped.”

“You underestimated me.” she countered. He lifted his brow as Emma continued firmly, “I need you to help me.”

“Help me?” he echoed. His eyes flicked from the knife to her eyes. “You’re taking your life in your hands threatening me, lass.” he said dangerously.

“I’m trying to save your life!” snapped Emma.

His brow hitched higher, again flicking his eyes pointedly to the blade, then back at her.

Emma sighed, removing the knife from his throat.

He still didn’t move, eyeing her still suspiciously. “How is it you think you’re saving me?” he asked.

Emma sighed shortly. “Look. I told you I was from the future. I am. I’m from your future. And I didn’t get sent to the past alone.” She took a breath, hoping telling him wouldn’t implode the timeline. But she was scared, she was alone, and without his information, she would never be able to find Killian. She could only hope that after she saved Killian, he’d still exist when they returned to their time.

Emma sighed. “When I got sent here, you came with me.” she said finally.

Confusion kneaded his brows with honest puzzlement, and for the first time he looked almost like her Killian. “I… what?” he managed.

Emma sighed shortly. “You— future you,” clarified Emma. “You’re here, in the past, too.”

Hook looked lost in thought for a second. Then— “That was bloody real?”

“What was?” asked Emma.

He sat up, regarding her with both suspicion and shock. “The dream I thought I had of you, up until you foolishly returned.” Emma glared at him flatly as he went on, “I saw…”

“Yourself,” finished Emma impatiently. “Yeah. You punched yourself.” At his very perplexed expression, she went on, “I told him—you—it was a bad idea. So, blame yourself.” He blinked in utter confusion. But, at least, he seemed to believe her story. “Look,” said Emma, “we were on our way back to the future when some huge guys kidnapped him because they said he stole something and he needed to ‘pay for it’.” she finished in a bad facsimile of Killian’s abductor’s voice. Her eyes burning into Hook’s, she said, “What did you steal? Who are they and where did they take him?”

“You’re telling me,” said Hook slowly, “that there is a future version of me out here?”

“Yes,” said Emma through gritted teeth. “Now what did you—“

“Tell me, love,” said Hook casually enough, though the coldness in his words was back. “What is my future?”

“I can’t tell you that,” she said exasperatedly. “Already I need to get you a Forgetting Potion to make sure you get to that future.”

He stared at her for a long moment, a million things happening behind guarded eyes. But finally, his brow lifted a fraction. “And I’m just supposed to believe this?"

Emma groaned. “What proof do you want?” she said impatiently. “Your father abandoned you and Liam; you used to be in the Royal Navy; you became a pirate after what happened to Liam in Neverland; you’re currently on a suicidal mission to kill Rumplestiltskin for taking your hand and Mila—“

“Stop!”

Emma froze, having been angrily ticking off the trivia on her fingers, to see Hook’s eyes with more emotion than she’s seen from this version of him yet.

“How do you know all that?” he breathed. For once, his voice lost Hook’s edge, and he sounded like Killian. The danger evaporated from him in seconds, replaced with something almost... lost. “It’s—it's been centuries since—"

“You told me.” said Emma simply.

“I… told you,” repeated Hook flatly, words rolling off his tongue like something foreign. The edge in his voice swiftly returned as he demanded angrily, “And why the bloody hell would I do that?”

“How should I know?” snapped Emma, her anxiety getting to her and sharpening her own tone.

He rose to his feet, and Emma did not like the feeling that he was attempting to use his height over hers to intimidate her. He leveled a look at her, with something different in his eyes, something dangerous in a new way. “Tell me one thing, lass," he began, voice casual-sounding, but underlined with something that sent a shiver down her spine, "and maybe I help you.”

“Why wouldn’t you help me?” exclaimed Emma, standing her ground. “You’d be helping you!”

“That remains to be seen.” He stepped toward her, and damn it he didn’t even need the hook to be imposing. “Tell me, lass.” Another step, and Emma felt her back hit the wall, not even realizing she’d been retreating. His gaze bored into hers. “Do I get my revenge?”

Emma swallowed, suddenly feeling a familiar sense of dread as to when the past version of Rumplestiltskin had asked about whether or not he found Neal.

When the silence spread a little too long, she whispered, “Hook—”

“Do I, or not?” he demanded, voice clipped. Cold.

Dangerous.

Emma felt paralyzed.

The Hook—the Killian —standing before her was completely hellbent on getting his revenge. He’s been at it for centuries, and the anger and pain in his eyes overpowered the blue in them, so much so it was hard to remember that Killian and Hook were the same person.

And here, Hook was his vengeance right now.

There was hardly a spark of him.

If she told him the truth, that he not only doesn’t kill his crocodile, but chooses to live peacefully in the same town as the monster? Gives up not only his quest for vengeance, but turns into a hero?

And worse yet, that he lets go of Milah?

For her?

From the amount of anger she’s eliciting from him right now, she doubted he’d be happy to know that information in particular.

So, she decided to tell him the truth.

Or…

Part of it.

“No,” she said finally, watching his brow shift dangerously. “Not yet.”

He searched her eyes, his face like stone. “Not yet?” he repeated, voice low, almost threatening.

Emma swallowed the fear slipping down her spine, hoping she was still as good of a liar as she once was. “Not yet,” she confirmed, which, still, wasn’t a complete lie. She took a breath, holding his gaze, preparing herself.

And she lied.

“I’m helping you get your revenge in the future,” she said smoothly. “The Dark One is currently living in a realm without magic. He’s vulnerable. I’m helping you get there.” She swallowed, her entire body rigid. Hook was pin-silent as Emma finished, “We accidentally got sent to the past on our way there. That’s why I need you to help me. If you don’t, you will never get your revenge.”

Emma fell quiet, holding her head high, clinging onto confidence she didn’t feel in the slightest.

Killian could read her like an open book.

If this version of him was as perceptive as he comes to be…

If he found her lying to him…

Again …

Emma tried to ignore the fear prickling in her veins.

He held her gaze, pinning her to the spot with his eyes alone. Watching her eyes carefully, his narrowed.

Finally, he said, “Why are you helping me?”

Emma tried not to flinch at the obvious distaste in his voice. She thought fast, and found something that held nothing but truth. “Because,” she said, “you did me a favor. I’m repaying a debt.”

His brow lifted. “Quite the debt.”

Emma felt something stir in her chest, thinking of all that Killian has done for her. “It was quite the favor,” she said quietly.

His brows kneaded with question, like he wasn’t sure why he would bother to do her a favor.

Emma was quickly becoming irritated with this version of Hook.

“How are you helping me?” he asked then, gaze boring into hers, almost as if he was trying to poke holes into her story to see if it would leak. “Why do I need you?”

It was spoken so carelessly.

And it hurt.

Emma was surprised at the sudden burn behind her eyes.

She’d brushed off Killian’s affections, his obvious devotion to her, more times than she could count.

And here he was, looking at her like he couldn’t have cared about her less.

How could she have wasted all the time she had with him?

Getting him back now was the longest of long shots, for—and it made sharp fear race down her spine— he could already be dead.

Blinking away the emotion, Emma huffed out a breath, trying not to appear as hurt by his words as she was. “I’ve got Light Magic,” she snapped, making surprise lift his brow. “You’re trying to kill the Dark One. Do the math.”

He stared at her for a long moment, eyes narrowed, danger rolling off him in waves.

Finally, he spoke.

“I help you, and, him,” he muttered, uneasily over what to call his future self, “get back to your time,” he said slowly, “and then I will get what I want most?”

Emma felt the ghost of a smile touch her lips, for she didn’t have to lie for this one. “Yes.”

He most definitely will.

-.-.-.-. TBC

@belovedcreation-kitr-headcanon @cssecretsanta2020 @belovedcreation

#csss2024 #captain swan #secret santa #emma swan #killian jones #captain hook #emma and hook #cs #cs ff #cs fic #fanfic #fanfiction #once upon a time #ouat

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pyschosoda · 2 days ago

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Christmas-y Sweet Milk

jayvik

In which growing up Viktor never had the money to celebrate the holidays, let alone spend money on seasonal drinks. Lucky, Jayce is about to fix that

pairing: Jayce x Viktor category: fluff

a/n: IM KINDA LATE BUT HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!! i wanted to write a little something for christmas and ive been wanting to write a jayvik fic for a while so here’s me testing the waters :) i was originally going to write a christmas jayvik ANGST fic but IM FEELING JOLLY!!!!!

“I told you to bring a scarf, Jayce.” Viktor scolds as he takes his scarf, wrapping it around Jayce’s neck.

Jayce’s nose was red from the cold, and his lips were curled into a pout as Viktor lectured him. He had one hand on Viktor’s hip to balance him and the other holding his cane as he apologized, “I…I couldn’t find it, and I didn’t want to be late,” he explains, lowering his head like a dog being yelled at.

Viktor gives him a non-threatening glare, his gaze softening at Jayce’s pout; with a huff, he pulls his scarf over Jayce’s pink nose as he takes his cane back, walking along the stalls in the Christmas market.

Jayce quickly catches up with him, pushing the scarf down with his gloved hands.

“I was thinking we could grab a holiday drink, whichever you prefer,” he says with a grin.

Viktor’s eyes scan the different stalls, his eyes locking onto one with handmade ornaments before breaking his gaze to look at Jayce.

“Can’t say I’ve ever had a holiday drink,” he says, his face scrunching down slightly as he shrugs. “So we can get whatever you’d like.”

Jayce stops in his tracks, Viktor stopping shortly after to look at him.

“You’ve never had cider?!” Jayce says, looking at Viktor like he had grown a third arm.

Viktor shrugs again as he shakes his head.

“What about eggnog?!” Another no.

“Hot cocoa?!”

“Everyone’s had hot chocolate, Jayce.”

Jayce looked pitiful as he moved toward Viktor, gripping him by his shoulders.

“I’d be the worst boyfriend ever if I let this continue!”

So Viktor sat at one of the picnic tables that surrounded the giant Christmas tree in the center of the market, waiting for Jayce.

Everyone could see Piltover’s man of progress’ excitement as he walked back towards where he had left Viktor, carrying three cups in his gloved hands.

Viktor could still see some of the snow clinging to Jayce's glove from when he pushed the snow from the table so they could use it.

“Okay—“ he huffs upon sitting down, “these two are hot,” he pushes the cider and hot cocoa towards Viktor. “And this one, you will be trying last,” Jayce says, making Viktor look away from the drink closet to Jayce. “I think you’ll like it,”he says with a toothy grin.

“Try the cider first!” He encouraged, Viktor could practically see a tail wagging as he took the hot cider into his own gloved hand, removing the lid to smell it.

“Apple and….” he sniffs again “Cinnamon?” He looks at Jayce through his lashes, who nods excitedly.

Viktor blows on the cider a few times before taking a sip.

Jayce’s lips curl into a smile as he laughs upon seeing Viktor’s face scrunch up.

“you don’t like it?”

“I never said that…” he hums, letting the taste linger on his tongue. “It’s…bitter…” he says as he pushes the lid back on.

“so you don’t like it?” The golden boy asks with an amused smile.

“Not particularly, no.”

“You should try the one my mom makes,” Jayce says, replacing the cider with the hot chocolate cup. “I think you’d like it better.”

Viktor simply hums as he lifts the lid to the cup.

“Peppermint?” he questions upon taking a sniff of the hot drink.

Jayce nods, “Yeah! You said you’ve had regular hot chocolate, and how much more Christmas-y can you get than with peppermint?”

Viktor hums in agreement as he blows on the steaming cup in front of him a few times before taking a quick sip as to not burn his tongue, humming as he licks his lips.

“What did you think?” Jayce leans forward, eagerly awaiting his answer.

“It's better than the other,” he decides.

“But you don’t like it?” he pouts.

“I didn’t say that…” Viktor meets Jayce’s eyes. “The peppermint…It’s a bit much.”

Jayce’s brows furrow as he reaches for the cup, taking a sip for himself.

“I guess they did go a little heavy with the peppermint…” he mumbles.

“I think I prefer regular hot chocolate, Jayce.” Viktor says, sliding the lid towards the man sitting across from him.

Jayce huffs as he puts the lid back on; he is upset he hasn’t found a holiday drink that Viktor likes.

“Okay, here!” He places the eggnog in front of him. “Now try the eggnog! I know you’ll like it!”

“You sound confident,” he says, pulling the lid off just like he had with the others.

“I am!” This made Viktor smile as he brought the cup up to his nose; it smelled sweet, one of the more pleasant-smelling drinks.

He moved the cup to his lips, taking a small sip, his brows scrunching slightly as he tilted his head.

Viktor’s silence began to worry Jayce, but then Viktor took another sip.

“…I like it…” he decides.

“I knew you would!” Jayce celebrates, his lips growing into a grin once again.

“It’s like…a Christmas-fied sweet milk,” a small smile grows on Viktor’s face as he takes another, bigger sip.

Jayce’s smile grows bigger upon seeing Viktor’s own smile.

Jayce let Viktor enjoy his drink for a few more minutes before deciding it was time to walk around again.

“Come on,” Jayce says as he stands up.

“We have some more shops to look at before we head back,”

So the two walk through the Christmas market with their drinks in hand.

Jayce takes turns between sipping the cider and the hot cocoa while Viktor happily drinks his eggnog.

Jayce happily rambles about Christmas memories he’s had with his mother, and Viktor gives him encouraging nods and hums as he listens.

The two quickly finish their drinks, throwing the cups away as they decide to head back to the lab.

“This was fun,” Jayce says upon arriving in front of the lab.

“It was,” Viktor says with a small smile.

“I, uh,” Jayce clears his throat as he lifts a hand to nervously itch his cheek. “I’ve got a council meeting to get to… but—“ He places the same hand on Viktor’s cheek, gently caressing it with his thumb. “I’ll come find you afterwards, okay?”

Viktor’s eyes seem to close on their own as he leans into his touch.

“Okay,” he whispers.

Jayce has a warm smile on his face as his eyes wander over Viktor’s face.

He’s about to pull away when his eyes flicker to the doorway above them.

“Look,” he says quietly, gesturing above them.

Viktor’s eyes open, his brows furrow in confusion as he looks up.

And there it was, a piece of mistletoe that seemed to be taped up in a hurry

“Did you hang this up?” Viktor questions as he moves his eyes to meet Jayce’s.

“When would I have time to do that?” Jayce looked almost offended that he had asked, “I’ve been with you all day!”

Viktor wasn’t buying it, but he didn’t say anything.

“Look,” he looks at the ground. “I would hate to break tradition. It’s bad luck…” He says, his eyes flicking back up to meet Viktor’s as he turns on his puppy eyes.

Viktor laughs, causing Jayce’s cheeks to turn a light pink.

“It’s bad luck?” Viktor repeats, “Who told you that?”

Jayce’s mouth gapes like a fish out of water as he tries to think, “I just... I just heard it somewhere, okay?!”

“Okay,” Viktor agrees with one more laugh. “I’d be the worst boyfriend ever if I made you break tradition,” he says, repeating Jayce’s earlier words with a slight smile.

Jayce’s face lights up like a Christmas tree as he eagerly moves his other hand to cup Viktor’s face, pressing his lips against his with excited movements.

Viktor’s caught off guard, placing a hand on Jayce’s upper arm as he stumbles slightly.

The kiss was rushed and eager.

“Sorry—“ Jayce pulls away, catching his breath. “I didn’t like that one. Can I—can I try again?”

This time Viktor starts the kiss, his hand moving to cup Jayce’s cheek.

Jayce’s own hands loosened on Viktor’s face; one moved to cup the back of his neck.

This kiss was gentle and warm.

Jayce has a stupid grin on his face as they pull apart. “One more?” he says with a hopeful expression.

“Go to your meeting,” Viktor simply says, pushing Jayce’s face away.

“I’ll see you after!” Jayce promises, pressing a kiss against Viktor’s cheek before running off to the meeting.

“You still have my scarf!” Viktor shouts towards Jayce, who is now at the end of the hall.

“I’ll return it when I see you later!” He shouts back before turning the corner.

Viktor shakes his head with a smile as he enters the cold lab.

Jayce had been the one to hang the mistletoe up; he had woken up earlier than needed so he could get dressed and go to the lab before he had to meet Viktor, and that was evident by the scarf hanging on one of the hooks by the door, but Viktor would let Jayce believe he was blissfully unaware.

a/n: I didnt really like how this turned out but I wanted to get something out there before the new years because the other things I’m working on are taking a bit longer than I expected（╹◡╹）♡ likes and reblogs are appreciated!

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carlos-in-glasses · 3 days ago

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Thank you for the tag @paperstorm @carlossreaders @literateowl

@whatsintheboxmh @ironheartwriter @everlastingday @laelipoo

@strandnreyes @nisbanisba @tellmegoodbye @lemonlyman-dotcom and @futures-tense🧡

I'm going for a Work is Published Wednesday too today with something from my Secret Santa Fic Fall On Your Knees, which is up on Ao3. Also for those reading/interested in Rhythms, I will be posting the penultimate chapter this coming Sunday. You can read it here and/or find WIP snippets here

Dinner is slices of oven pizza and some green salad for balance, pan de elote to tip the scales back the other way. After, in the living room, Gabriel plays guitar semi-well and Ana as a contralto sings her specialty for TK – a beautiful rendition in Spanish of Moon River, with noodley vibrato. TK dances with Leda on his feet while Carlos helps Small Gabe draw a horse. Which is a disaster because he accidentally gives the horse six legs while distracted by Andrea’s own mishap of knocking several books off an overstuffed shelf. Small Gabe is pretty furious about the drawing, but calms down once Tío TK suggests the horse could be a mutant superhero – the fastest horse in all the land thanks to two extra legs. Pleasantly, Carlos bonds with his mom over books while helping her pick them up off the floor, and later he has his father belly laughing over an anecdote about faceplanting into a puddle while apprehending a naked UTA frat bro who was streaking while being hazed. All in all, a successful evening, and when TK and Carlos get into their separate beds in Carlos’ childhood room, it’s like being at a slumber party.

“I feel like we should be gossiping about our crushes,” TK giggle-whispers, cozying down beneath the horse comforter.

“You’re my crush,” Carlos says, not cozying down on the air mattress so much as getting tangled in the blankets.

“Well, you can say lots of nice things about me if you like,” TK prompts.

Carlos readily indulges. “Beautiful green eyes. Nice laugh.” More quietly: “Big dick.”

Open tag and tags below:

@thisbuildinghasfeelings @goodways @lightningboltreader @bonheur-cafe @alrightbuckaroo

@cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @heartstringsduet @reyesstrand

@herefortarlos @welcometololaland @rmd-writes

@orchidscript @mikibwrites @irispurpurea @honeybee-taskforce

@theghostofashton @freneticfloetry @ladytessa74

@liminalmemories21 @chicgeekgirl89 @sugdenlovesdingle

@pimento-playing-hopscotch @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@kiwichaeng @butchreyes @nancys-braids @captain-gillian

@hereghostslive @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi

@the-126-family @henrygrass - if you want to share/haven't already! No pressure ever! ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜

#911 Lone Star #911 Lone Star fic #Tarlos #Tarlos fic #wip wednesday #cig fic #my fic #Work is published wednesday #Fall on Your Knees

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k3nz1ekorn · 1 day ago

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Jayvik actor au

A short fic about if Jayce and Viktor were actors Joel and Vladamir in another univers. Author's note: credits are at the bottom of the post. I'll be writing more for this au as it comes to me ig.

“Let us do this once again…as partners!”

The silence fills the room as ‘Viktor’ grins down at ‘Jayce', his heart beats once, then twice, and he bursts into a fit of laughter, forehead falling onto his counterpart’s. Joel lets out a deep sigh from below him, and Viktor pulls back to give him a wide grin before turning his head to face the rest of the room. He raises a hand in apology, looking a little sheepish in his fits of laughter “Pfft- Sorry! Sorry everyone! Are we sure this is meant to be a fight scene?” As his laughter subsides he untangles his legs from where they are around Joel and leans himself back onto the table, careful to avoid jostling the green morph suit he’s donned in. The back of his hand coming up to try to stifle his laughter. It’s through barely open eyes that he sees Joel push himself up as well, giving a light stretch to his back after the uncomfortable position he was just held in. He shuffles around to face Vlad from the floor, looking up at him with a face he unfortunately knows all too well at this point.

“CUT!” The director yells, letting out an exasperated sigh. They break their shared look to give the man their full attention as he walks onto the set, “Alright let’s take a break and meet back in ten!” Turning to them he gives a pointed look, “Vlad, please be ready to actually finish the scene this time, hmm?” A bell rings and the room buzzes to life, people putting down equipment, conversations starting up, and Vlad finally looking back towards Joel, who looks wholly unamused by the situation. The director turns to walk away, intentionally ignoring the words that follow.

“I’m literally wrapped around him, like we all see that right?” Vlad says, hand gesturing lazily over to his…coworker. Yeah. Let's go with that. He shifts to accept a bottle of water from a staff member, mumbling a quick thank you before bringing his good leg up onto the table he sat on and resting an arm over his knee. His eyes fall back to Joel as he takes a drink of water. The other man is still sitting on the floor, now lazily leaning back onto his arms.

“V, if you keep this up they’re gonna get us an intimacy coordinator. And I don’t think I need to tell you that we do not need an intimacy coordinator.” He let a hand come up to rub his eyes in frustration at the thought. They’d been dating since the end of the first season, in private might he add, and the idea of having to tell anyone about their status because of this just felt like a hassle. “I get you’re giddy at the idea of more…touchy feely scenes, but you need to get it together here yeah?” He lifted his hand to look back at his partner, exasperation clear on his face. Truth be told he didn’t hate having to reshoot this scene, but the growing frustration of the rest of the cast and crew was not lost on him. Especially with this being the third or fourth try today alone. It was getting ridiculous to say the least.

“I know Joel I’m sorry, it’s just different! We were touchy in the first season, sure, but this is a lot different! The producer keeps telling us it’s platonic, brotherly and shit,” Vlad actively let a look of disgust come over his face as a light shiver went down his spine. “but I can’t act platonically with these scenes they're giving us.” He accentuates with a wave of his hand, spilling from his still open bottle before recaps it and sets it down beside him. “Plus I’m not ‘Giddy’ as you say,” he quotes the word with some playfulness, “I just think the relationship isn’t going to come off how they think, is all. It feels like I should lean into the romance, y'know?”

Joel nods in understanding at that, while in the first season it was more up in the air for how they were meant play their characters, it definitely felt like a line had been crossed with the new scripting, all the love and banter of the first season with a new aura of…something more. Something that he personally would describe as romantic. He says his next words with a hint of a smile. “Then lean into it. If they don’t like it they’ll make us reshoot it and we’ll know that’s not the vision they want, end of story. If they don’t?” he shrugs and raises an eyebrow. He knows his partner understands what he’s getting at, he’s being extremely obvious after all. “No harm in just eh…testing a theory?” The last line gets him a light chuckle and grin from Vlad, who looks back at him with fondness and amusement. Vlad says his next words with a light shake of his head.

“I suppose you’re right, and isn’t that what got us cast in the first place? Playing the characters how we interpreted them?” He takes another sip from his water and gives his legs a quick stretch. Their break is almost over after all, it’ll be time to get back to it. “Besides, they don’t have to know that’s how I’m playing it, right? Those that get it will get it and those that don’t…are hopefully the executive producer.” He starts to slide off the table, the thin fabric doing little to keep the cold of the floor from reaching his feet. Joel moves to stand and takes the bottle from Vlad, quickly getting it off the set before the director calls them back.

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Filming had wrapped up for the day, thankfully for both of them, and they were now on their way back home for the night. Or to Vlad’s home specifically. Joel’s driver had put up the privacy curtain not long after the trip had started, it was routine. About as routine as taking the turns he had grown accustomed to over the last…however long it had been, 10 months? A year? They’d only been together a year and a half but this had become regular quite a while before that, during the second half of their filming for season one actually. They hadn’t seen a reason for Joel to keep renting a place out here for filming when Vlad had an apartment so close to set. They could commute together to and from work, make sure the other ate proper meals off set, and even run lines. At least that’s what Vlad had said when he suggested it back then, in fact it’s still the excuse they use when people question them on why they take the same car to and from nearly all the same places every day. That it’s just more convenient. Most don’t believe that, but they don’t mind the speculation. The car ride is comfortable after the long day they’d had, especially once Vlad had gotten it together in the ‘fight’ scene they had.

Joel was leant up against the door, head in his hand as he watched Vlad talk from his seat in the car. And oh boy was he talking. The corner of his mouth curled slightly as he listened intently, watching the others hands fly about as he went on.

“I can’t believe none of them picked up on the tone change. None! My mood, my facial expression, the way I was wrapped around you and still nothing!” Vlad had indeed decided to lean into the romantic tone they’d talked about previously for the scene, and as predicted it went off without a hitch. The rest of their scenes together that day had been only a few takes, including mess ups from other cast and crew. Joel easily caught one of his waving hands to gingerly bring it to his lips before placing it between them. Vlad instinctively closed his hand around the others, giving a gentle squeeze unknowingly. Joel gave his partner a blank stare.

“I hardly think nobody could tell. Did you see Viola? She was practically in the end frame on that last take, probably would have been if Cathrin wasn’t holding her back. She’s been waiting for us to start giving into the romantic angle more.” He paused to give a chuckle as the other man’s head turned to watch him speak, “And I do mean waiting, you remember during season one? The ‘crank it’ scene? Or when we were filming the opening scene for the season? We had to redo it three times because you could hear her outbursts in the background every time I so much as looked at you!” He let a smile creep up his face as he remembered. When they had initially gotten together they had of course told a few of their on screen friends, knowing it would be hard to keep something like this from them. Naturally a few of them had pushed for the men to let their off screen romance bleed into the way they portrayed their characters.

“Yes yes yes, but the director? The producers? The ones who kept telling me to tone it down, dial it back? Them? No idea!” Vlad said in excitement. It was also true that in previous scenes they’d made it a bit too obvious that their intentions were to make the relationship romantic and a few of the wrong people had caught on. But how else were they meant to interpret it? ‘It was affection that held us together’? Really? Joel let out a small chuckle at the memory before turning his attention back to his counterpart.

“I suppose so V, though I don’t think it’s too hard to fool them. Especially given how they literally wrote the damn thing with zero idea of how romantic it actually was.” he gazed at the other man from his seat opposite to him. Vlad, noticing the silence, also turned to look back. He gave a wide smile, eyes crinkling as he squeezed their hands tighter. The driver was close to his complex now. Joel blinked as another thought crossed his mind, “Although I must say, for a fight scene it was very…suggestive. I can’t say we haven’t been in positions quite similar to that.” a slightly darker tone overtaking him as he leaned in a bit. Vlad easily caught onto what the other was suggesting, and he moved his head closer to whisper back.

“I must say I don’t know what you mean by that.” He smirked, eyes darting down to the others lips before moving back up to his eyes, his head tilting ever so slightly, “Though I wouldn’t be against a…reminder? Or two perhaps, hmm?” Joel moved his unoccupied hand to take his partner’s jaw in his fingers, bringing them together for a firm kiss. Their lips slotted together in a practiced ease, a light sigh leaving Vlad as Joel’s tongue flicked against his lower lip. The car stopped. The finger under Vlad’s jaw didn’t move as they broke apart, and a knowing, wanton look was shared between them as Joel leaned back and undid his seatbelt, Vlad breaking their contact to do the same.

“I’d be delighted to give a refresher.” They exited the car.

Inspo for this was from art by boopfq on tiktok and MessRedds on Twitter. I haven't written fanfiction (or anything) in like 5 years so if this seems meh don't worry about it. This is self indulgent bc these two are ruining my entire life and I need an outlet. I literally made a playlist it's getting so bad

#jayvik #jayvik actor au #actor au #jayce talis #jayce talis arcane #viktor arcane #jayce x viktor #ship #league of legends #arcane #blurb #imagine #alternate universe #arcane actor au #no beta we die like men #no beta read #queer #lol

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iamafictionfreak · 3 days ago

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Hello, hello!!!

So… it’s been a while. I know I promised/offered/hoped for more of this. And... even though it’s been months, I've finally managed to write the next part.

Not to be deceiving, but part 2 is literally episode 2 only. I'm going the way of Loaded march and posting oneshot's with a rough length of about 20, 000 words? Give or take 5000.

Ever read Footloose’s Loaded March? The Merthur fic to end all Merthur fics?

For those here who aren’t Merthur veterans – we hold weekend group therapy sessions, and depression Thursdays – Loaded March is a series of stories (16 in all) amounting to 1,261,720 words, which is mind boggling to me, and each story is never more than either a oneshot or a handful of chapters until you reach the end.

So, I’m doing that here. Highest form of flattery there is.

So, yep. Part 2 is written and it's around 20000 words - Once it's edited I'll upload, very hopeful for a release by New year. Each episode will be the equivalent of a mini arc but it'll likely be a while before part 3 etc.

As with the above post, I’m aiming, if I actually manage to get there, to cover the rest of season 1 and leave it in a good place. It’s basically a retelling of the show, except with Arthur knowing Merlin’s secret, which changes everything. The juicy part is how this is investigated, developed and how it may or may not alter events as these two idiots progress.

Forewarning: don’t expect a light and fluffy time. Yes, I’m hoping it will be humorous. It’ll likely be dark at times, angsty. Painful. But the light is the key, and the relationship between Arthur and Merlin, the core. It’s, hopefully (pleasepleaseplease) full of adventure and truth and fun!

Unfortunately, Arthur, as you’ve seen, won’t immediately be buddy buddy with the personification of ‘evil’ that his father has raised him to want to destroy. We have a trained killer with a nobility made of steel and a heart as fragile as a bird’s. We have a soft and squishy peasant boy beholding the world's heart of gold, a primal gaze who is an unforeseen powerhouse with unlimited potential to grow into the most formidable man on the planet.

In the show, we see Merlin change over time, moving from servant to devotee of Arthur but kept very much isolated and shadowed. It leads to a very bittersweet end and a deeply fearful Merlin who should never have had to be. With said man knowing the truth, how does that change this growth. I’m not a fan of unearned progression so please don’t expect these two to become the best of friends in the space of 2 chapters.

In the show they fit all the definitions yet fit exactly none of them. They’re friends, except they’re not because their social status gets in the way. They’re devoted comrades, except they’re not because how can they be when such huge secrets stand between them. They’re each other’s protector, except neither really knew it nor understood what it meant. Arthur became Merlin’s purpose, and no one ever knew that heartbreakingly beautiful truth, so he couldn’t serve said purpose to his fullest potential. Arthur was never able to know what it was like to have someone like that by his side because even when he married Gwen, there was a piece if himself that he kept concealed. Watch season 5 and you’ll see what I mean and it’s because of that, that Gwen feels so alone at times.

The show held such potential. And luckily fan works aren’t limited by money or stereotypes or backwards thinking or, oddly enough, a yearning to thrown in a boatload of realism in the last half hour of a supremely unrealistic show.

This fic will not be halted or forced or rushed into romance of any kind. I have an issue with unearned progression. Natural chemistry leads to places yes, but people don't usually just fall in love and go with the flow.

The possibilities are delicious, won’t lie. If Arthur and Merlin had been allowed to ‘touch that’ in the show, the depth of it - the many layers it would have added - would have taken it in a very different direction, one that didn’t fit BBC goals at the time. Imagine all the S1/2 episodes with a bi Arthur. How that alone changes everything about it. Likewise, rewatch the episodes and imagine that it circles certain forbidden feelings and suddenly it’s so much more. I also won’t destroy existing love angles for the sake of something that I want more. No, it needs to feel natural. We’ll see what happens.

If you have questions, throw them at me, whether I answer them is another thing entirely.

I hope you’re all okay at the very least. It’s been a tough few years.

P.S I was going to wait until the third part was written as well, but the year has been hard; I've been sick, I've gotten a new far more stressful job and I've begun it question whether we really do exist within a 'matrix', so it feels right to post a sequel at christmas when merlin did everything to kill us once upon a time.

*not my gif*

In a Land of Christmas, and a Time of Fanfiction, There was an Irritated Woman in Dire Need of a Re-Write:

(gifs not mine - they're from @genyakosstyk)

So… I did it! I did exactly what I said I’d do here. I wrote the start of what could become a long-winded piece of diatribe focusing on how much Merlin the tv series could have healed us instead of hurt us.

I can’t tell if I’m overly ambitious, a little desperate (about anything and everything honestly) or just so done with 2023 and the crap-tastic news it generates. That and, I have this on repeat in my mental-space, which is more of a shed than a palace:

(gif from @punqueen13 )

So that's fun.

It’s forgivable to escape horror or fear or fatigue or guilt and grief by diving into fantasy. And is there anything more fantastical than merlin? Merlin and all the promise it brings. Is there any wonder why fics are still being churned out for a series that ended 11 years ago?

So here it is.

Part 1 of one. I’ve written a short, five chapter thing. It isn’t a prologue, it’s an intermission between episode 1 and 2 of season 1. The chapters are short for a reason, but I wanted to give a mix of both Arthur and Merlin povs so do let me know if they’re extremely out of character – I can handle a little ooc, especially given the nature of fanfic but if I can’t hear their voices in my head or see them as I read, I feel like I’ve failed.

I think I did ok?

The premise is simple:

Arthur sees Merlin, a peasant he had a brief altercation with, use magic to save his life. He should tell his father about. He should arrest Merlin.

He doesn’t. His honour being at risk, he allows Merlin to work for him on the proviso that he doesn’t use magic. Ever.

Except Arthur has questions he’s never been given the answers to. And Merlin is – odd. He’s nothing like what Arthur’s been told a sorcerer is and he makes it all too easy for Arthur to drop his guard around him.

Which- well, it must be magic, right?

His father, his attendants and tutors, have taught him about the manipulations of witchcraft and sorcery and how they can twist a man into feeling empathy for the wicked.

The problem is that Merlin isn’t exactly what he’d call wicked. Arthur trusts his own instincts and they’re telling him very different things to what the king decreed. He vows to watch over his new manservant. The moment he commits treason, he’ll run a sword through him.

And in the meantime, maybe – just maybe – he’ll find out for himself if a man who turns to evil, can’t turn back.

I’LL POST EACH CHAPTER WITHIN THE NEXT TWO WEEK SEASONAL PERIOD.

But.

There will then be a wait for part 2 – if anyone truly wants it, that is. And if not, hey. I had fun writing this.

Other bits and bobs and odds and sods:

Will there be romance?

Eventually! But I do wonder with who you mean? And this is first and foremost an experiment about how Merlin and Arthur could have been if what when how and why. If Arthur had Merlin's full trust and if Merlin was allowed past the walls Arthur had erected to keep even Gwen out, what could they have become?

Is it funny?

I HAVE NO IDEA. I truly hope so though, at east a little. There's some seriousness ahead to get through first though, Arthur isn't just going to jump into trust.

Will there be a lot of differences from season 1?

I aiming for exactly that.

How much trouble is Merlin in? More than season 1?

Ahem, have you seen the below man?

Merlin's in ALL the trouble. He just doesn't know yet that trouble is his home-spice.

#merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin fanfic

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eternallytired17 · 8 months ago

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Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Prodigal Son (TV 2019) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Malcolm Bright, Martin Whitly, Dani Powell, JT Tarmel, Gil Arroyo, Jessica Whitly, Ainsley Whitly Additional Tags: Serial Killers, Whump, Malcolm Bright Whump, Malcolm Bright Needs a Hug, Serious Injuries, Kidnapping, Hurt Malcolm Bright, Martin Whitly Escapes Claremont Psychiatric Hospital, Martin Whitly Being an Asshole, Hurt/Comfort, Gil Arroyo Acting as Malcolm Bright's Parental Figure Summary:

An unwelcome guest drops into Malcolm's apartment.

NEW CHAPTER!

#prodigal son #malcolm bright #martin whitly #whump #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #new chapter #I should be writing other fics but here we go #fanfic #fanfiction

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coolnonsenseworld · 1 month ago

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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........

Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!

mmezzy.bigcartel.com

#klance #halloween au #im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome #i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics #and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating #like???? nobody probably cares #im either here or im not #and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much #and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true #..............but what if its all redundant #what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down #and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now #what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now #what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort #what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough #what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor #i keep reading the little notes i get on orders #some screenshots i saved #i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole #and i feel insufficient #subpar #i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it #there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure #its the moment where you keep going of course #and yet #there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them #but who else will take it better than tumblr tags #either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions #but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend

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stevethehairington · 2 years ago

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He needs a break. A chance to breathe for a moment. This lifestyle sometimes feels like the corsets that Robin is always complaining about — too tight, too constricting, and superfluously unnecessary. Steve pities Robin, and the rest of the poor women, who have to deal with both. The circumstance and the corsets.

Steve knows better than to complain, though. He lives a lavish existence, one that many people would give anything to have. It isn’t fair of him to pity himself like this when there are so many people out there that are so much worse off than him. He should feel grateful. Lucky, even.

But it’s hard not to feel suffocated instead, sometimes.

The alcove is quiet, thank god, and void of any stray party guests. It’s hidden away, tucked between two rocks that overlook the seaside, and the crash of waves from down below has a mollifying effect on Steve’s agitated disposition.

He reaches for the cravat at his neck, loosening it with deft fingers. He’s in the act of tugging it away from his throat when the clear crunch of a footstep has him spinning around sharply.

And there, emerging from the shadows to block Steve’s only escape route, is a man.

The first thing Steve notices about the man is the curtain of dark curls that frame his face. They’re long enough to tumble freely over his shoulders, and they’re pulled back by a thick swath of fabric, deep red in color. The ends of his bangs peek out from beneath the bandana, as do a pair of thin braids, each tied off with two hollowed out pearls.

With his hair out of his face, Steve can see it all. Every single feature, open and on display — those soft cheekbones, that sloping nose, the gnarled scar that stretches across the left side of his jaw and pulls the corner of his mouth into a twisted, permanent smile.

Steve is sure that he’s never seen this man before, and yet there is something achingly familiar about him. A tugging within his gut; it feels like he should know him, but from what, he can’t quite place.

The man’s left ear is pierced through twice, two identical gold hoops looped through the skin. And just beneath his ear he has a small mark. A tattoo. Steve isn’t quite close enough to make out just what it’s of. He squints his eyes and nearly takes a step closer to take a proper look, but catches himself before he does.

It’s then that Steve realizes that he’s been staring, borderline ogling, for much longer than is appropriate, too. His cheeks warm as he averts his eyes to the ground. But rather than the cobblestone path below, his gaze falls to the man’s feet.

Flared brown boots cover those feet, rising up nearly to his knees. They’re old looking, worn and well-purposed, but still sturdy, even after countless strops though mud and water and sand and all sorts of other rough terrains. Beneath the boots, his stalwart calves and strong thighs are encased in rough-hewn black breeches, tight, yet functional.

Steve’s eyes stray further up, despite his best efforts.

The man wears a thick brown leather belt, layered with a silken red cloth and an even thinner black belt, this one scaled like a dragon, with a shiny gold buckle. It sits around his waist, atop an open black vest that accentuates his slim figure. His blouse beneath is a deep wine red, made from a gauzy looking material that clings to his skin. Steve imagines that if it were to get wet it would be absolutely sinful. The neck of it is rather plunging, too, exposing the man’s collarbones, and the corner of another tattoo on his chest.

And there, above his heart and to the right, in the very center, hangs a pendant — some sort of serpentine creature with wings, gaudy and golden and absolutely eye-catching.

Steve feels a little hot under the collar, taking it all in. He has to look away.

The man makes an amused humming sort of noise. “Like what you see, sweetheart?” He drawls, flicking both eyebrows up at once. A lazy grin unfurls across his full lips, and he practically drapes himself over the rock behind him.

The position puts his whole body even further on display, in an entirely new way this time, and looking away is futile now. Steve’s eyes are heedlessly drawn back to it, raking over every inch. It feels… dangerous, to be looking this much, this long, but he can’t help it.

The man lifts a hand to examine his black varnished nails, an air of boredom to the action. His fingers are adorned with chunky silver rings that glint in the mid-afternoon sunlight. Casually, he pulls a dagger from its hiding place amongst the belts and uses the sharp tip to pick at one of his nails.

Idly, he starts to whistle — a low, warbling tune that has an almost menacing edge to it.

It, too, strikes a chord of remembrance in Steve, and he wracks his brain trying to think of where he’s heard it. And then it hits him.

“You’re a pirate!” He gasps out. It sounds scandalized, when he says it, though, really, he isn’t scandalized at all. He doesn’t find himself very afraid, either, though he knows he should be. Instead, he’s just intrigued.

The man snickers. “Very good, sweetheart,” he commends, tucking the dagger away again. He brushes his knuckles against his shirt. “What gave it away?”

Steve frowns. “What are you doing here? Where’s your ship?”

“What am I doing here?” The man repeats. Laughs this breezy little thing. “I’m meant to be taking you prisoner, actually,” he tells Steve.

“Take me— prisoner?” Steve repeats, shock coloring his tone. He doesn’t know what he’d been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that.

“Oh, yes,” the man replies, pushing himself off of the rock. He starts to circle Steve. “I’m meant to be snatching you up— well, that’s the interpretation of it, anyways. All they said was that I needed to deal with you, and, really, that’s so vague.”

He starts to circle Steve, slinking around him slowly, purposefully. His voice carries as he does. “Pirates are supposed to be unscrupulous, though, aren’t they? What with all the threatening and the stealing and the killing and the like. I figured it only makes sense that I take you.”

Steve has a million questions — like who the hell is they? And what do they want with him? And why did they send a pirate to do their dirty work?

Instead, what comes out is, “I guess that would make sense.”

He folds his arms over his chest, just for something to do with them, and then a thought surfaces to the forefront of his brain.

A crease forms between his eyebrows, and his lower lip pushes out into a contemplative pout as he mulls it over. “But what if—” he starts. Pauses. Cuts himself off like he won’t dare finish the thought.

Only it’s too enticing, too tempting not to.

“What if you didn’t take me?”

The man comes to a stop right in front of Steve. He’s close, much closer than anyone would normally be comfortable with, but Steve doesn’t care. If anything, he has to refrain from curling his fingers into that necklace and using it to leverage him even closer.

Steve looks into the man’s dark eyes. Big, endless, easy to lose himself to. But he doesn’t. He meets them head on, unwavering with his gaze, as if he’s challenging him.

“Sweetheart,” the man starts, dripping with condescension. He raises a hand and flattens it against the rock behind Steve, boxing him in. Another wry chuckle tumbles past his lips. “I don’t think you get it,” he says. “I have an order. I need to follow it.”

Steve just his chin up, defiant. “I don’t think you get it,” he returns, poking the man in the chest, much to his astonishment.

“What if you didn’t take me,” Steve repeats slowly, putting emphasis on his meaning. “But what if I… went with you anyways?”

It takes a moment for the words to properly sink in, but when they do, a slow spreading surprise settles over the man’s face. “Oh,” he says, sounding pleased. His lips curl back into a grin that bares his teeth. “How rebellious of you,” he tuts.

“You say rebellious, I say free-thinking,” Steve replies, brushing him off.

The man’s smirk grows, but he doesn’t accept the proposition. Not yet. Instead, he watches Steve carefully, like he expects his bravado to fall away any second now and for Steve to renege.

But Steve holds his ground. He’s not taking it back. He’s not chickening out. In fact, he’s never been more sure of anything in his life.

He’s going to go with this man.

Finally, the man relents. “If that’s what you want,” he says.

“It is,” Steve replies, without hesitation.

The man gives a firm nod, and without another word, he turns on his heel and starts to briskly walk away.

Steve scrambles to follow him, out through the opening of the rocks and across the open courtyard that leads towards the port. He glances behind him every so often to make sure that he hasn’t been spotted or followed by any of the partygoers. By any of his family.

But each time he looks, there’s no one.

He doesn’t know whether to be disappointed or thrilled by that.

The further he gets from the party, though, the easier it gets to breathe. Like the noose around his neck loosens with each step. That almost makes him want to laugh, considering his choice here would earn him a real one, permanently.

Ships line the port, when they finally make it to the water’s edge. Great big ones, with hulking hulls and dozens of ballooning sails. There are at least four, anchored in the bay, but none of them stick out to Steve as a pirate ship. Not that Steve’s ever actually seen a pirate ship before. He’s only heard tales. Still, he expected that they’d be distinct.

The man approaches one of the ships, and he doesn’t hesitate before tromping up the shoddy wooden gangway and stepping foot onto the polished deck. His hands slide onto his hips and he casts a wide glance around. He takes in a deep breath, then lets it out slowly, his whole body relaxing as he does. Like he’s finally home.

He turns then, back towards Steve and offers out his hand.

Steve looks down at it, then back up at the man.

“I’m Steve,” he says, taking it. The man’s palm is rough against Steve’s, but it’s warm too. It feels nice.

The man laughs. “I know,” he says. “And I’m—”

It’s then that Steve notices it. It’s subtle, in the sense that it’s just the one detail. But that detail itself is anything but. Just past the man’s head, right in the center of the biggest sail, a red devil. Pointed horns protruding from its skull, wicked yellow eyes, razor sharp teeth.

It is unmistakable.

“You’re Eddie Munson,” Steve says, recognition finally hitting. And, jesus christ, he feels so stupid for not realizing sooner. The most notorious pirate in all of the seven seas — how could he have forgotten?

“That I am,” Eddie muses. Then he uses his grip on Steve’s hand to pull him the rest of the way onboard.

It tightens, and he doesn’t let go right away, like maybe he thinks Steve will try and make a run for it now that he knows who he is.

But Steve doesn’t. He stands his ground, holds Eddie’s gaze steady.

Something zings up Steve’s spine as Eddie’s big eyes bore back into his own, and he thinks briefly to himself that whatever he’s gotten himself into here, it’s going to be well worth it. He’s in for the adventure of a lifetime here.

Eddie drops his hand then, and a slow grin, just as devilish as his flag unfurls across his pretty lips. He flourishes one of his own hands out around him.

“Steve Harrington,” he practically purrs. “Welcome to Hellfire.”

#steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #mack writes #macks ficlets #so i wrote this instead of working on any of the fics i actually should be working on rn lol #i listened to voulez vous by abba and my brain went pirates and well. here we are.#funny story also bc a good chunk of the first half of this actually came from something i was going to write for a totally different fandom #but never ended up writing so it just sat collecting dust until today!#10 bucks if you can guess the fandom (and no it is not ofmd or any other actual genuine pirate fandom lol)

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dukeofthomas · 3 months ago

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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.

(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)

#my dc posting #dc #jason todd #jaybin #im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me #in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise #i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right #the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home #ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman #and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed #and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl #d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit #i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger #it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit #but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered #anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11 #a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl #but is loud and obvious abt it #so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about #anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing #him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao

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uhohdad · 1 year ago

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two things you’re never going to see from me is complaints on the portrayal of konig’s character (or anyone else, really) and “rules” on how to write your COD fanfiction.

idk about y’all but when i write it’s incredibly self indulgent. i write about what i want to write to satisfy my own sexual creative needs and i think y’all should do the same. you’re not gonna see me throw a fit if i don’t agree with your portrayal of a fictional man with 3 pieces of confirmed lore. if i disagree that much i just won’t read it? i’m not going to rain on your parade and tell you that you should stop doing your creative outlet and sharing your stories bc i don’t agree with how you want to write his character or bc you don’t follow canon.

you wanna portray him as a stone cold and ruthless killer who thirsts for the blood of his enemies? as the big soft uwu boy everyone hates so much? you want him to be 20y/o, 45 y/o, 60y/o? mean, kind, confident, anxious, smart, himbo, reserved, persistent, wholesome, a pervert? you want to strip this man of everything you know totally OOC and just borrow his appearance for a coffee shop AU? it’s okay! chances are there’s other people out there who were craving just the thing you’re cooking.

no one is doing this for a living, we’re all writing fanfiction about our imaginary boyfriends in CALL OF DUTY as a hobby. it’s just not that serious. this goes for all creative fandom works, too.

i’m personally very picky about my fanfiction, but who’s silly little problem is that? that’s my silly little problem. i’m here for the grind, the chase, the dig. too weak to handle scrolling back 100 pages on ao3 just to find the perfect strangers to enemies to friends to lovers 100k word porn with plot with accurate character potrayal you were looking for? you might be in the wrong business if you can’t handle the hunt, my friend.

y’all are making free content for us to consume. that’s more than enough, and the priority at all times should be to make sure you’re having fun writing. I’d rather you all share your OOC goofy little fics that you felt motivated and inspired to write than a canon friendly story you had to force yourself to get through for our sake.

anyway i’ll go to bat for fic writers any day of the week.

tldr; don’t ever let anyone dictate how you express yourself creatively, give yourself permission to go nuts like a 6 yo old with paste, glitter, and elbow macaroni. free yourself from the weight of the chains of creative stifling and see how close to the sun you can girlboss. let us seethe at the hands of your raw muse.

and as always, thank you for sharing your art with the world.

#sorry i really try not to get involved in discourse and do my best to keep things light hearted around here #but idk i don’t think we should be tearing each other down for our creative writing choices #it’s just for fun #fwiw no one said this to me but i see a lot of posts of people complaining about this in the konig tag #like girl just don’t read it??#if everything is properly tagged what is the problem?#anyway i’ll literally go to bat for any fic writer y’all are doing the lords work #i’ll shut up now #uhohspeaks #konig #konig call of duty #call of duty #cod #könig #modern warefare ii

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seventh-district · 3 months ago

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Could've left me just the way you found me, but you came and put your wings around me. You went out of your way, to fix what you didn't break.

This song is so incredibly Sam & Darlin' coded and no one can tell me otherwise.

[lots of lyrical analysis below the cut] [there's also a short little fanfic blurb of them stargazing down there too (this post got really out of hand lmao)]

For those not fully caught up, note that the following commentary contains various spoilers for Sam and Darlin's stories.

Note: Unfortunately this song is gendered, using the word 'girl' several times. Which sucks a little bit for immersion purposes, not only for keeping Darlin' gender-neutral, but also because I see this song as a duet between them, and Darlin' obviously wouldn't be addressing Sam with the word 'girl' either. So! As with most songs on their playlist, we're just gonna mentally omit any gendered terms we come across.

Side note: Frustratingly, this is one of those songs that didn't really even need to gender the subject in the first place. No part of the story or message is lost without it. But alas, many songs are like that, and so the playlist-makers of the world shall continue to suffer. [/lh]

Anyways, preamble's over. It's lyric time now yay!

Sam's Part

I was a ten-year train wreck

Technically for Sam I suppose it was 13 years, but ten is close enough (and 'ten' admittedly flows a lot better in the rhythm of the song than 'thirteen' would.) Anyways, we're not here to split hairs, (I have to remind myself), we're just here to point out similarities.

In Sam's Dec. '22 HBW, he says "For the last 13 years or so I haven't had to care too much about how I look. Seemed a little redundant after turnin', considerin' I didn't wanna be around much'a anybody anyway."

I think he's mentioned or alluded to that roughly 13 year period of time more than once, but that's the one I remember best so it's the example I'm using. There's still about 4 Sam audios I've yet to listen to as of making this post, so if I'm missing some Key Lore I'll edit this later. But for now, I don't think Sam has given many specifics on exactly how bad things got during that time. Luckily, 'train wreck' is a pretty broad and subjective term, so it easily covers any degree to which he may have fallen apart during those years.

It also feels like a very 'him' way of quickly brushing over the details of his past/his hurt, as he seems to tend to do with Darlin', (not all the time ofc but it's still something I've noticed) putting his own hurt on the backburner to prioritize and attend to theirs. Even outside of his dynamic with them, I think as a healer, it's something he learned to do. And now he does it with everyone. Put on a brave face, compartmentalize things and unpack them later, etc. I could go on and on but there'll be time for that in other posts I'm sure. For now, lets get back to the song at hand.

With a last-call longneck

Due to personal reasons, I've yet to decide if I want to HC him as having used alcohol as a coping mechanism during that time. I don't recall him having mentioned alcohol much, if at all, (maybe one mention of whiskey that I don't have time to find right now) so I don't think it's necessarily canon that he did, but it's certainly possible. My personal preferences aside, I'll admit it makes for some good additional angst. (And- self-indulgently- it makes some other songs on my playlist for them more fitting.) So, for the sake of this song, let's imagine that he did.

I was searchin', I'd been hurt real bad

This one feels pretty self-explanatory given what Alexis did, (and, if you wanna get even angstier with it, whatever his family did earlier on in his life) so there isn't much commentary to add on my end.

I HC that in spite of 'not wanting to be around anybody', he- like Darlin- still had a tiny part of himself buried deep down that was, in a way, 'searching' for someone to find solace in. (No this isn't me projecting onto them both haha what are you talking about-)

Movin' on, gettin' sidetracked One step forward and five back

This is generally applicable enough that I don't feel the need to give too much of a specific example. Anyone who's recovered or is recovering from trauma knows this non-linear, back-and-forth struggle well already, and I'm sure he was no stranger to it.

If I were to give some examples though, I could point to Darlin's (and subsequently, Sam's) encounter with Alexis at the summit, or the shit that Quinn dredged up about Fredrick and threw at Sam in the interrogation room. Those are both more recent examples and I imagine these lines of the song to be coming from a place of him prior to meeting Darlin', but still, they're some instances where I'm sure he felt like the past was pulling him back in. I'm sure that there's been many throughout those 13 years that we were never witness to.

Not your fault, I was scared to fall

This line reminds me of their 'Cuddles and Confessions' audio. I don't think he ever explicitly said he was 'scared' per se, so afaik there's no specific line I can quote, but in that and every audio prior, he was obviously hesitant to admit, perhaps even to himself, that he was gradually falling for them. Even after the initial confession, there's certain limits of his (e.g. biting) that he carries for far longer, and some that I (and others) HC that he'll carry forever. So this line feels to me like him reassuring Darlin' that his reluctance isn't the fault of them, but his past.

Darlin's Part

You were the star in the pitch black Shine the way on the way back

We don't have any canon instances of them comparing Sam to a star, but I can see it being something they'd say (perhaps less poetically, but the sentiment would be there) one night while laying up on their roof watching the stars with him. Maybe they're dead-tired, talking nonsense with lidded eyes at the end of a long day, fighting sleep in favor of more time spent with him.

"What- what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"

Their hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in their line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above them. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."

Sam does his best to follow their less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', their pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along their arm, he takes their hand in his and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"

"That's you." They say, matter-of-factly.

"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.

"Mhm." They nod with finality, blinking slow.

Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting them. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."

They scoff. "I am being serious."

Sam stifles a laugh into their hair. "No- no I mean- like... what's another name for it... Oh! It's also called the Dog Star."

"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."

He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but they cut him off before he can start. "But no- no, this one isn't about me. That's you."

He decides to play along, finding something endearing in their overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"

Their frown is audible in their voice as they latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"

He smiles at their over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, darlin', I promise."

They huff, but thankfully shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention. I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...There you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places 'n people I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, surrounded by the ghost of him. You outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me back home."

In the back of their mind, they recall something they once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can see a star that's already burnt out, because it's light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.

They remember Sam's words, once whispered to them on this very roof.

"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."

They think about dead stars.

They think about time.

"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand slides up their forearm, pulling them out of their thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"

They look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.

They reach out, pulling him down into them. Burying their face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear their words, muffled against the thick fabric, but his hearing catches it just fine.

"Don't burn out too quick. Please. I still need you here. I don't- I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."

.......Whoopsies! Really, genuinely didn't mean to improv an entire scene there, good god. Also didn't mean to swerve hard into angst at the end but uh. that's what came out! so I'm rolling with it lmao. Aaanyways let's move on, it's getting late and this is a song analysis post, not a fic.

Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers

'Out of nowhere' reminds me of Sam's words from the same HBW video I referenced earlier. "You came into my life like a damn wreckin' ball. There was no preparing for that, clothing or otherwise." While those were Sam's words, not Darlin's, I still feel like they feel similarly to how suddenly Sam came into their life as well. (Not in a bad way, mind you!)

[the significance of 'answered all my prayers' edges into my own personal more headcanon-y/personal/OC-ified Darlin' territory, so we can just gloss over this one for the sake of at least attempting to keep this more universally applicable]

Picked up the towel that I threw in Took in a heart that was ruined

Again, largely self-explanatory I feel. (*proceeds to explain anyways*) I imagine that Darlin' was at the point of throwing in the towel, hellbent on a solo-mission to find Quinn regardless of the danger it posed to them. I doubt they were looking toward the future anymore, (to reference Sam,) fully willing to throw themself at their problems until they really did break.

The specific use of 'ruined' hits hard here, because after everything they went through with Quinn, and especially after he recounted it all to Sam in that interrogation room, I imagine that they really, truly did feel ruined.

Showed me the past ain't a tattoo Loved me even when you didn't have to

These lines in particular make me sick with emotion every time I hear this song, because I feel like they hit the nail on the head for how Darlin' feels.

I'll be here citing various quotes all night that I feel showcase that sentiment, but we don't have time for that! So instead I'm just pointing to the entirety of 'Quinn's Aftermath' video, and leaving you with this single quote from it.

"Everything that he said reflects nothin' on you, and everything on him."

Equally Applicable Lines

And I don't know why Why you saw something in me, baby But you saw right through All the pain, and you came and saved me Yeah, I know you didn't leave me lonely Weren't the one that put the heartbreak on me Picked up the pieces It wasn't the mess that you made Could've left me just the way you found me But you came and put your wings around me You went out of your way To fix what you didn't break

Again, I think these lines are all pretty self-explanatory, and are just as accurate coming from either one of them. To me, at least, their entire dynamic is that they saved each other, in their own ways.

(But I will admit, the final verses about 'going out of your way to fix what you didn't break' are definitely conjuring up memories of Sam in the early days, literally going out of his way to visit and heal Darlin' after their fight with the two vamps. In general, his continued/repeated healing of them after they once again hurt themselves is the very literal definition of fixing what he didn't break.

But! While we may have more blatant examples of Sam being 'the fixer' so to speak, I think he'd argue that Darlin' has done plenty fixing of their own. Physical wounds aren't the only things that need healing, after all.)

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[shameless self-promo of my Sam & Darlin' playlist for those few of u interested enough to make it to the very end of this wall of text. if u liked this then u might like some of the other songs on there soooo maybe go check it out and maybe perhaps give it a follow so i can get a little serotonin boost or dopamine or whatever the chemical is that's released when Number Go Up. ...okay that's it i hope u enjoyed my fixation-induced ramblings! thank u and goodnight]

#redacted audio #redacted sam #redacted darlin #redacted playlists #redacted asmr #redactedverse #music stuff #Spotify #Seven's Blorbo Songs #<- starting a dedicated tag for these kinda posts bc i feel like there will be. Many more #gotta go dig up the few i've made in the past and retroactively tag them. they weren't as Involved as this one but i'll still include 'em #good fucking god this post got long. i started it at like 2pm and now it's almost 8. i've been locked in on blorbo analysis for 6 hours #don't ask why it took That long to make this post okay i am. very slow. but i had a good time so it's all good #there's like 10 other things i needed to spend my free time on today but this post Demanded to be made asap so here we are #i've been stewing on this song for several days since i found it and i literally had to make this post to get it out of my system #i was gonna make One Big Post to discuss the entire playlist at once but it's got 80+ songs on it by now...#and i like to Yap if u cannot tell so it literally wouldn't even all Fit in a single post. so i'll probably just do individual songs #or maybe a few per post if they all fit a certain theme and aren't enough to justify their own post #anyways i. am so very very very in love with Sam. if you. cannot tell. from the entirety of this post. and the state of my blog #about halfway thru this post i realized i perhaps should've just written a songfic but those take so much more effort and time #and i'm already editing two that'll come out later this month. with two more in the wings. so i can't afford to start another #(not Redacted fics btw sorry but in spite of the little drabble i did on this post i'm actually scared to write for this fandom)#i don't feel confident enough not to mischaracterize them. plus i'm already juggling more than i can handle anyways #anyways the drabble + this post in general probably isn't very good lmao i Should like. draft it and edit it tomorrow with fresh eyes #but i wanna go ahead and send it out into the world and just let it be. it's not that big of a deal

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