#I shine only with the light you give me
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I shine only with the light you give me.
#the crane wives#I shine only with the light you give me#i loved you like the sun#fanart#art#adventure time#drawing#digital aritst#simon petrikov#simon petrikov fanart#fionna and cake#Betty groff#golbetty#golb#I rlly hope the image quality isn’t that bad
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the moon will sing by the crane wives is so fish and chips.
#quinns music associations#LISTEN TO ME#ARE YOU LISTENING???#THE MOON WILL SING A SONG FOR ME#I LOVED YOU LIKE THE SUN#BORE THE SHADOWS THAT YOU MADE#WITH NO LIGHT OF MY OWN#I SHINE ONLY WITH THE LIGHT YOU GIVE ME#ARE YOU HEARING ME RN??2?2?2?22#jrwi#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#jrwi gillion#chip#jrwi chip#fnc#fish and chips#jrwi fish and chips
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SOBBING WAIT THIS IS SO REAL WHAT OP I CANNOT BELIVE YOU'D GIVE ME THIS BRAINROT THE DAY BEFORE AN EXAM /pos
I stg the more I listen to The Moon Will Sing the more I find of John in it like it was taylor-made for that golden bastard
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Attaching a celestial body to each one of these three for Symbolic Purposes ™️
(besides the one I already did)
#Dusknoir#Lucario/Aimilios#Sylveon/Ribbons#(i don’t have to explain Dusknoir)#(Aimilios + the Moon; the best way I can describe it is that one Crane wive song)#(‘I shine only with the light you give me’ the same way his influence helped Aimilios get out of his comfort zone/timidity)#(moon phases aswell.) [His naive yet optimistic look on life as a riolu vs. his more skewed/muddled view when he evolves]#(Ribbons + Star; is fun bc of the whole ‘The sun is technically a big star’)#(and she has the potential to be just like Dusknoir :)!! [/Pos pre-betrayal][/NEG AFTERMATH OF BETRAYAL]#also all of the sizes just fit. :]#pmd art tag#pmd eos
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everyone thinks "the moon will sing" is a shuggy song. WRONG! "the moon will sing" is a roger pirates and buggy song. the crane wives shuggy song you're looking for is "never love an anchor"
#please#'i could've been anyone anyone else before you made the choice for me'#he was eight/nine when they took him on board!!!#do you think 8yr olds can accurately judge how much danger they'd be in?#do you think an 8 yr old knows any better?#like what other option did he have???#starve on the streets? or join this pirate ship that'll give him 3 meals a day?#he shines only with the light the rogers give him!!!#meanwhile#shanks is the ship and buggy is the anchor#enough said#one piece#buggy the clown#op buggy#buggy one piece#akagami no shanks#op shanks#shanks one piece#shuggy#shanks x buggy#roger pirates
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thinking about how viren loved harrow like the sun
and how sun is truth and justice and
I SHINE ONLY WITH THE LIGHT YOU GIVE ME???
HE MIRRORED THE SUN??
faced with questioning- his justification was I am a servant to katolis, as he admired harrow used to say the same thing
#virrow#the moon will sing a song to me i loved you like the sun#I SHINE ONLY WITH THE LIGHT YOU GIVE ME???#the dragon prince#self spaghettification#riley rambles#mine
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The best thing about Italy and Europe is that linen just- exists here. I can go buy a shitty cheap 100% linen dress like I would go to Fry's and buy a shitty cheap 100% polyester dress in America. Absolutely revolutionary for my wardrobe. I can't actually buy wardrobe enhancements because I have a carry-on suitcase, but the fact I still have the option is amazing.
#I can't wear polyester because something about my sweat clings to the fibers. I can only wear >60% natural fibers. I've slowly been#weaning all poly out of my wardrobe. The restriction helps a lot preventing impulse buys; but here my impulse buy is only restricted by $$#i am absolutely not crying over the $350 linen women's suit jacket I saw :( UGH it was GORGEOUS and GREEN. I want a linen suit so bad#but honestly it's the kind of thing I should just spend a thousand on and get bespoke I think. It'd look better and feel classier#if you're spending that much money on a thick linen knit in the first place.#Okay tag essay: but can we talk about linen knit fabrics? I've seen so many beautiful linen weaves this weekend I'm losing my mind.#I think there was a kind of Tricot or Bird's Eye knit linen simple-curve dress that blew me away. The amount of work you can do with#two colors and a fashionable knit is insane. Then you wear a jacket over it and the linen is still light enough to wick away sweat but#heavy enough to look fashionable and stay flat. There's really this talented balance of texture that shines in linen. I love linen so much#Anyway! I should've made another post for this but none of these ramblings are important lol#I'm really tired after Anacapri. and dinner. Dinner was kind of dumb. There was confusion about what I wanted. We just wanted#appetizers to share but they gave me a whole plate of octopus. Which I feel bad about eating and don't like the texture after 10 bites.#So I had to give it to dad. Long story short I didn't want to eat anything at all; I wanted to WRITE. But I didn't write. I ate.#I'm already like 10 pounds heavier than when I left lmfao. It's starting to pack on my hips. Damn you Italy!#ptxt
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Hi!! I've been seeing your stuff in Gui's tag and I was wondering if you're okay with questions? If not, please ignore this :) But what do you think of Guiping as a ship? I've seen a lot of artwork that says its the ship that's 'closest' to be her canon ship or something like that. Thoughts? Have a nice day!!
Hi 'non! Thank you for this, and I never mind questions, if anything, I welcome them any day, as they kind of force me to test my knowledge unexpectedly (best way to do it really). I actually have a fair bit of thoughts on this topic, so I'm glad you asked! I took a bit of time to do some additional research so that I have my facts straight, or, straighter, but all of it kind of confirmed what I'd already come to the conclusion of.
So, my answer to this may be a bit of a hot (and sensitive) take, but please do know that this is based on analyses and quite some thorough research throughout months of writing Guizhong, because the 'Guiping outdoes all else' is discourse that I've absolutely been unable to avoid. So yes, let's talk about Guiping, and why I think that people's hyperfocus on the dynamic as immediately and inherently romantic is a take that comes with numerous problems. Not only do I think that it sorely takes away from at least three characters (of which two are female) in multiple ways, but it also absolutely disrespects the cultural significance tied to linguistics, all simply for the purpose of 'representation'. I think we live in a world where people are so big on representation that they're quick to label things unjustly. And aside from that, I'm also personally concerned with how quickly people see things as being 'romantic' in today's age and preach it to be the 'irrefutable canon', but I digress, I'm rambling, so let's actually get into it. I apologize, for this'll get long and ramble-y, if there is one character that I will type essays about for days and days, it is Guizhong. I don't know what it is about her, but she is the dearest to my heart in entirely different ways. So this will touch on more than just 'Guiping', and instead will talk about Guizhong, Ping, Cloud Retainer, and of course, also Zhongli. But I'll speak in what we can actually see, and hear, instead of what we might feel, and envision, and hope.
While I'll explain what I mean with the disservice to numerous characters soon, let's touch on my first point, and let's actually talk about why Guiping is so fiercely shouted from the rooftops, and put under a spotlight as it is. All of it, yes, all of it, stems from how Ping uses the translation of 'soulmate' to refer to Guizhong in the original Chinese text, along with the following quote, during Guizhong's reveal in 2023's Lantern Rite:
"When the one attuned to my soul is no longer here, who else could hope to understand this tune?"
Without some critical thought, many in today's would consider this to be a reference to someone Ping would have likely been in love with, but I think (and I don't even mean this with genuine disrespect) that it's a shallow take for multiple reasons, but let me explain why. I think the best way of doing so, is to actually look at the terminology used in Chinese that people then translate from. In the original Chinese text, Ping uses 知音 (pronounced as zhīyīn in Mandarin) when speaking of Guizhong, and after some research, I found this thread. Now let me quote a little from it, because why try to put it into words on my own, when this author and translator's explanation is really quite formidable:
zhī 知: to know, knowing yīn 音: music, sound Literally, a zhīyīn is someone who "truly understands your songs." The term zhīyīn comes from a story about finding a kindred spirit through music. There are many versions of the story, and here is one of them: One day, the musician Yu Boya was playing a qin in the wilderness, when he met Zhong Ziqi. When Boya played one song, Ziqi immediately understood it and described it as reflecting the mood of soaring mountains (高山). When Boya played another song, Ziqi also comprehended immediately and described it as creating the mood of flowing waters (流水). Ziqi could understand all of Boya's songs. When Ziqi passed away, Boya felt so distressed that he destroyed his qin and never played it again. Boya thought of Ziqi as a "zhīyīn," and that term continues to be widely used to this day.
With its origins and explanation behind us, let's actually look at its definition and how it is modernly translated into the West's English language, while retaining its actual meaning:
In a modern context, the term of "zhīyīn" is often translated into English as a soulmate, a kindred spirit, or a very close friend, but at its core, it's a term that refers to a type of intensely emotional, spiritual, and platonic connection with someone.
In truth, the term 'soulmate' has never in any language, even in English, been irrefutably tied to a romantic love, but current times seem to have people conflate it with such a concept. But in reality, it's never been an automatic deduction. A soulmate refers to a kindred spirit, someone who understands an element of your person (or your entirety) in a way others might not. It means that there is a connection that defies the norm, a connection that's deeper than that, but 'deeper' does not equate 'romantic'. A romantic connection is not, by default, a representation of the deepest connection that you can have with a person. Hot take, but your partner in life is not automatically your soulmate, nor your kindred spirit. That's an addition that is rare in existence, it's not the foundation. Making that assumption is an incredibly modern takeaway, and it removes all weight of the word. But you know, let's actually take the origin of the word zhīyīn to move onto and into my next point, which is actually something that is most important to me as a writer of Guizhong.
Ping and Guizhong were, by all accounts, rivals in their area of music. The former found music to be an endeavor of the heart, while Guizhong invented an instrument that was able to compose melodies of its own accord (though also made note that it could never replicate or outdo human composers), a bit like 'AI' but in the olden days, which Ping opposed, so they clashed. Enough so that Morax had to intervene as to put a stop to it. But in this same element of musicality, they found a kinship with one another, something that they both understood (despite their differences) and bonded over. Yes, it went to a point where Ping felt like only Guizhong could understand the melodies that she composed. Only one that feels how you feel about the world around you (which is an immense thing), could come to comprehend what you mean to convey, or achieve with your song(s). We also know that they spent time together, but that isn't actually specific to their dynamic at all, and thinking so is an absolute neglect to a fundamental part of Guizhong's character. Well, you know, let's get into all of that. Because if we apply importance to all of these details, then we need to take into account that Ping was not the only one, and there is another who shared, honestly, the exact same connection with Guizhong, but over a different field of expertise.
Yes, I'm talking about our very own Cloud Retainer, the one who first properly introduces us to Guizhong as an individual (even if we technically already 'meet' her indirectly during Liyue's archon quest with Zhongli, more on that later), and the one that's entirely overlooked in this grand talk of 'those who sorely miss Guizhong'. Cloud Retainer's story with her is also described as being one rooted in rivalry, which, exactly like with Ping, is also put to rest by Morax' interventions (although this one is requested). They were both incredible inventors, and as Cloud Retainer notes in her 'Something to share' voiceline, she rather believes only Guizhong to be capable of helping her complete the larger version of her mechanical bird for all of the purposes she wants for it. Would another engineer/inventor with a similar understanding of the profound nature of mechanics (and how said inventor thinks), perhaps not be... the only one to 'understand' another? The origins of their stories— very similar, no? And yet, it doesn't stop there, and we also, at this point, need to take Morax into account as well (yes, I am pointing at the little laughing lines, just for a lighthearted addition to this long ramble of mine), but more on him as I continue.
Noting that Guizhong's time spent with Ping to be 'superior' or most meaningful is taking away, and immensely so, from the former's intricately extroverted nature. I invite you to listen to the tale Cloud Retainer recounts about her in this part of Lantern Rite's 2023 quest, so that you refresh your memory (or learn) on just how intense Guizhong was on her social gatherings, and in that, how much she thoroughly enjoyed all of the characters of Liyue, from the more known adepti, to other known gods (Marchosius) and adepti. These social gatherings, by all accounts, seem to have been entirely instigated by her, 'Guizhong often invited her friends to visit her home (...)', and it is noted that these banquets would last well into the night, until the sun rose anew. Guizhong was exceedingly extroverted, with all of the adepti, with all those she held dear, this was in her nature, and this was an incredibly common occurrence. What I'd like to point out at this point however, is that there's one place where such socializing was preserved, and that was right outside of Cloud Retainer's abode. And it's not just any 'spot', but let me explain.
For those unaware, the stone table at the beginning of the Echoes of the Heart cutscene, is still there, and can be found right outside of Cloud Retainer's abode. But it isn't just any table, its stools each bear an engraved name, one for Cloud Retainer herself, one for 'Rex' (Lapis), and one for Guizhong. It is also the only one that seems preserved, as if frozen in time. I say that, because the utensils are explicitly noted for each stool when you interact with them in-game. 'There is a bowl and a pair of chopsticks in front of the chair on the north side. Engraved on this chair is: "Here sits Guizhong."' These utensils are either replaced countless times in the 3700 years since her passing, or they're protected by adeptal energy. Both of which, I don't know about you, weaken my heart, because that to me shows an unwillingness or inability to let go, that's a continued form of mourning. That is right outside of Cloud Retainer's own abode. Tell me that this woman does not grieve the loss of Guizhong still, dare tell me that Ping outdoes everyone else's so entirely, that it should be negated or worse, neglected entirely. I know all of this is a bit of a mess, but to return to this video for a moment, tell me that Cloud Retainer does not sound as if she's still grieving, that she doesn't sound wistful. And tell me, as you read the following, what I've written so far, and after what I'm about to write still, that Ping is the only one who 'grieves' Guizhong's loss:
Paimon: Or are you saying that... it was Guizhong? Didn't she, um... already, um... Cloud Retainer: Alas... Long has one avoided this place for precisely that reason. The sights here are a reminder of a time long gone, and evoke much sorrow.
For anyone's recollection: it has been 3700 years since Guizhong died. Now, to also touch on Zhongli here, and I want to begin by reminding people of Shenhe's voiceline about him:
That gentleman claims to be a mortal, yet is very familiar with my master, who is an adeptus. Master once said: "If you see him drinking on a stone stool in front of my abode, do not disturb him. Let him sit quietly for a while." And that's precisely what I did.
And if you want your heart to break just a little bit more after you read that, then have a look at 'The Divine Stone Sees the World', the Genshin Impact EP made specifically for Zhongli by Hoyoverse, to see the visual tied to this little voiceline. Not just that, but look where he sits, look what's in front of him to find out whose seat that is. I'll let you find out for yourself, but I will say that he's not seated on his own stool. Outside of this, even while Zhongli, as one who enjoys recounting tales, hasn't spoken of her at the time of me writing this, there is so much in him that shows that he, too, is mourning or is at least remembering times long past, times that included her. I will raise the topic of the Rite of Parting that we helped him prepare during the Archon Quest, the one where we had to collect Glaze Lilies, and Noctilucous Jade, and a perfume for an older woman. All ingredients that are either directly or indirectly tied to Guizhong, no? If you agree, tell me that the Rite of Parting was for him, still. Tell me that Ping's mourning outdoes that of his, or Cloud Retainer's, like I see people on X and Tumblr respectively claim.
But then, in that light, I know that a common take to Guizhong, too, is that of polyamory, instead of acknowledging that perhaps, she was simply one who bore incredibly deep friendships across the board. Romance is not, by default, the deepest form of connection, and what saddens me more, is the willingness to make one character's being about romance. Guizhong is fundamental in the values that you see in Liyue to this day, she is more than just ship fodder, and she is more than just a character to use as 'F/F ship fodder, because I'm still waiting on a proper explanation as to why I should condemn other characters for it, or see it as canon, if there even is such a thing in Genshin Impact, outside of 'it's an F/F ship, Sae, let us have this.' No, why? If you insist on shoving it down my throat as the be all, end all, and it outdoes the connection between Cloud Retainer and Guizhong, and Morax and Guizhong, then I want more than that. Because quite frankly, I could make a better argument for the other two (not that I am, despite my bias towards the latter after a lot of crumbs all over the place, but that's a topic for another day). If people are going to make a claim for a ship, and are prepared to hate on other ships for it, then I'd love to know proper substantiation. And don't worry, 'non, I'm not talking about you whatsoever. I actually appreciate the question a lot, because this is a topic that I've been wanting to touch on (albeit, I wish I was more coherent, but I'll sum this up for Guizhong's navigation page soon). I'm just easily frustrated when people start throwing hate, and I'm tired enough that I'll verbally build castle walls to counter it.
But I'll leave you with one more point, which isn't specific to Guiping exactly, but to remind people of something fundamental about Liyue, that no other nation has done. What Liyue, and 'previously' the Guili Assembly, is so representative of, is how two 'forces' that should oppose one another, actually worked together willingly, and peacefully in perfect harmony. The 'adepti' in Liyue, outside of those who were referred to as Gods (Morax, Guizhong, and Marchosius), are elemental beings that are native to Teyvat. From what we know, outside of humanity and the 'Seelies', all life on Teyvat stems from its seven sovereigns (as we learned from Nahida's second story quest). Which means that by all logic, they should oppose everything that the Gods are, as they are, in essence, usurpers (indirectly through the Primordial One), and yet, look at what Liyue achieved that no other nation has in any such way: harmony. And not just that, but they found active, and willing cooperation with one another. And that is also what makes the concept of incredibly deep friendships between these adepti and gods that should dislike one another, incredibly beautiful. And I think that turning those dynamics into something immediately romantic, takes away from that. I think too many people forget about what makes Liyue so unique, and so gut wrenching.
P.S.: Before it's potentially pointed out, yes, I actively ship Morax/Guizhong, but I tried my best to keep that out of my opinion against Guiping being called 'canon', as it is not the reason why I oppose it, which I hope my answer made obvious. I will happily go into why I believe that those two did have a dynamic that went past a deep friendship and alliance one day, because my beliefs for it are quite vast and very deeply substantiated, and no, it is not because it is a 'hetero ship' (they're gods, I firmly believe that they defy sexes). But I'll save that for a different day.
#guizhong. [ many things only seem to surface beneath the moon's poignant glow. wherever its light shines; the heart is wont to follow. ]#guizhong: meta. [ her manuscripts lie unfinished in her abode. the blank pages give cause for contemplation on what might have been. ]#inquiries: ooc. [ that her accomplishments were judged superior was - one suspects - in large part due to her sheer eloquence. ]#thank you so much for this 'non! and i apologize to everyone for having to witness this. i also apologize for how incoherent this is.#i'm just... a little too passionate about guizhong than is good for me; honestly.
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;;i think i have brainrot
hi lark @thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwall .... i drew them again,,,, krita kept crashing while i did so and its not my best work but Oh Well......
its. its crane wives the moon will sing again. im not okay
with no light of my own / i shine only with the light you give me
aahhahaludkjfhds yeah i dont know how to do lighting okay
and the hair colours are Off bcs theyre impossible to do i swear /dramatic
okay !!! thats all [:
(under the cut is the version w my design of joshs sweater bcs,,, i can)
okay thats enoiugh from me, im going to go write fanfiction about block people
#my art#murder lesbians#other ppls ocs#listen ive been listening to this song on repeat#alskjdhfsaljkufhdus#I SHINE ONLY WITH THE LIGHT YOU GIVE ME---\#other lyrics that Stand Out to me as being very josh towards adele (the WHOLE SONG fits but some lyrics esp):#“instead i made a bed with apathy”#(cause he didnt do anth while she bullied in school right)#“i loved you like the sun”#(cause shes essentially the most important thing in his life and is keeping him alive cause WOOO (co)DEPENDENCY)#“bore the shadows that you made”#(cause he too suffered from the consequences of her actions [: )#okay stopping there otherwise id quote the whole fucking song#send help
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sometimes i forget i don't actually have to play a game but can just watch playthroughs
#gaming#honkai star rail#hsr salt#i do like the atmosphere don't get me wrong especially during When the Stars of Ingenuity Shine#or Total Recall (March 7th story quest)#and you can't exactly experience that the same way when watching a playthrough#but like only 60% of the time does all the effort i have to put in feel worthwhile?#building is just too tedious despite autoplay#i mean i also kinda get this with genshin that i feel like it requires more of my time than i'm willing to give#in genshin at least i can lower my world level/not raise it + play with my bro#but in hsr enemies seem to get stronger even when i don't do Trial of Equilibrium#it's not even that combat doesn't look good#building is just not satisfying at all imo and i keep losing#if it's not traces that are too low it's light cone and if it's not light cone is artifacts#genshin just feels more cozy? even though i like star rail character design much much better#coral plays ➸ star rail
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. the moon will sing by crane wives. grogu and gideon song
#study on nature and nurture#there's the obvious 'the moon will sing a song for me / i loved you like the sun'#and also 'tell me once again i could've been anyone anyone else before you made the choice for me'#and 'we walk in the dark in the dark i never gave a single thought to where it might lead'#OHHH GOD INSANE ->#'my heart knew the weight / ten years of dust and neglect / we made our peace with weariness and let it be'#'we couldve had anything anything else / except you hoarded all that's left of me'#'i want to feel the fire that you kept from me' OUGH#'i shine only from the light you give me (i could've been anyone anyone)' HELLO CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEEEE
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the moon will sing is SUCH a cdplayer song... but you wouldn't get it
#i shine only with the light you give me ~#TELL ME THAT WASNT ABOUT THEM#cdplayer#legoland#bird likes to chirp
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based on a true story
(side note, it's very euphoric drawing my kid self as a girl! i'll have to do more of this!)
Edit: this has a proper image description now, written by @disasterhimbo
thank you very much! ID below the cut and in alt text:
[ID: a comic titled “Weird Girl: a comic by Scout Forester.” It’s full-color and in a cartoon style. It opens with close-ups of each of three children’s faces, all with big eyes and open mouths, observing a praying mantis in awe. An older kid comes up to them and says, “Hey shrimps! Don’t ya know we’re playin’ boys vs. girls right now? Why’re y’all weirdos just sittin’ around? Are y’all scared? Y’all chicken?” He is depicted towering over the younger children as he says this, but in the next panel, he is much less intimidating, just standing across from them on the playground equipment. One of the children, a girl with curly red hair, replies, “Um, we don’t wanna play that. We’re busy.” Another kid says, “We’re watchin’ a prayin’ mantis here, it’s real cool.” The bully, red-faced and sweaty with a red explosive background behind him, yells, “Sh-shut up! I’m big and you’re small, so I can make you play with me!” The redheaded girl looks at him inscrutably.
The next two panels are larger, with a black background. The redheaded girl closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she looks righteously angry, and only her eyes are in color. Next to her is a bust of a dinosaur with lightning bolts striking the dinosaur’s portrait. She says determinedly, “spirit of the pachycephalosaurus.” In a tiny panel, a simply-drawn version of the bully says, “wait, wha-” The last panel is the biggest, and depicts the redheaded girl headbutting the bully and knocking the wind out of him with a comic-book style, all-caps “wham!” The praying mantis is perched on the bars of the playground equipment and the sun is shining behind both kids, giving a dramatic lighting effect. End ID.]
#comedy#humor#comic#autistic artist#trans artist#childhood memories#childhood#weird little girl#pachycephalosaurus#dinosaurs#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#queer
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TAG DUMP. please do not interact with this post.
#out of crystals ( ooc )#i see right through me ( ic )#who could ever leave me darling? ( bonds )#the moon will sing a song for me ( lore )#i shine only with the light you gave me ( visage )#time will change you ( musings )#god give us clearer skies ( music )#a sky full of stars ( act i )#happy days will never be granted ( act ii )#that's the kind of future in store ( act iii )#i don't know where the thoughts are coming from ( act iv )#close your eyes and you'll leave this dream ( act v )#fall apart without me ( act vi )#i will protect you until the end ( genshin )#modern day cain ( modern )
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I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity
Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all
And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me
It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been
But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel
...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this
One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help
Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out
I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all
...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut
Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?
I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already
...everyone means well, it's just tiring
#it's like when people make you being suicidally depressed about them#I... don't really want to say some more specific details cause they might be able to pick themselves out of a line up#but it's just like... man... is this more about trying to get me in a better place; or about making you feel better#wears me out#mm tag so i can find things later#just seems impossible for people to not offer advice on things#the thing people never think of with advice; is that people living a situation often have thought about that situation a whole lot#it's like why... with my friend that's looking for theatre jobs; I don't offer a lot of advice because I figure they've done quite a bit#just kinda... offer to help the best I can and ask what they need; and then mostly just listen#it's not like I never ever say anything; it's just I try to back up advice with something concrete#like... for instance if I wanted to suggest someone do therapy; then I'm gonna be offering to help them find a therapist as best I can#cause I get that it's not like you just 'go to therapy'... getting started on things is often the hardest part#eh... keeping this as vague as possible cause I want the actions I took not the details#but when I had a friend who was someone who didn't treat them at all well#I didn't directly try to get them to leave cause I know that... it's hard; they were in deep#instead I just made sure to validate their perception of reality a whole lot#counter the literal gaslighting by just pointing out that they made sense and questioning how reasonable their partner was#and then I attempted to get them in touch with some other people so they were less isolated and had other people to validate them#and thankfully they're not with that person anymore; they're doing a great job at life and are much healthier now#...but advice... honestly I don't think I gave them much#I more asked leading questions to try and shine a light on things; or would brainstorm about what to do with various stuff#they were real stuck; and it was painful to see them stuck in such a bad situation; but... better to sit with them than push push push#it felt like if I gave them my actual advice; dump that abusive freak; they couldn't have heard me#it was easy for me to tell them the solution; but that didn't account for all the barriers to implementing that solution#in this case; many of the barriers were internal; but internal or external; barriers are barriers#I don't know... I just think sometimes you gotta be comfortable sitting with discomfort along side someone#unless you got an actual fix; and you're willing to put in the work to fix it... shut up about fixing and just be there for them#mhh... we'll take one of the only things I'm actually capable of doing instead of something more serious#if someone wants a minecraft server; I can either fucking help them set it up; or I can kinda keep my mouth shut#if I'm not helping them set it up; I can give them shit like 'that sounds cool; I bet you could do it'
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You can also recognize someone by the sounds of their breathing. I do that with my family and it's hilarious when I know who they are when they're trying to sneak up on me lol
bruce is one of those people who can recognize others by the sound of their footsteps, their smell (and ONLY THAT), their voice, just like, anything really
and when other, normal, people find it weird, he just goes "well, tim does it too"
(that's NOT reassuring, bruce)
#i bring this up because i have horroble eyesight which lead to me just automatically memorizing pathways in places i work/live at#so that i wouldnt have to turn on the lights. which has lead to me walking up on my family and coworkers and accidentally giving them#a heartattack. so they try to do the same to me with minimal success. the problem is that im not actually trying to scare them#to me i just legit walk up. any noise i make trying to signal that im behind them doesnt get noticed by them apparently#considering that im currently living with my mother rn she keeps getting jumpscared and has threatened to bell me#my older sibling and i also stay on the same train of thought and can talk at the same time and tone. we got called#ill admit there are a couple of times where i did scare her on purpose but a good 85% was on accident#which she doesnt believe because everytime her reactions are tp funny and i just fall over laughing. she jumps. throws her hands up#screams and everything#me basically: mother im sorry for all the heartattacks but im genuinely not doing this on purpose i swear *cant stand due to laughing*#at my last job though we had heavy and baggy uniforms and steel toes are common in that field metal and plastic bits got carried in pockets#so it took effort be stealthy. but my old job also had a noisy environment most of the time. which lead to hilarious moments#where i (below average height) would seemingly appear out of nowhere and give my coworkers (6ft+) heartattacks. yelling included#i accidentally scared my workplace of 80+ people so much that one of the managers had to tell me to walk louder#the best part thoigh is that because im so small and theyre so tall is that they wouldnt see me at first glance if i was sitting and they#walk in the room. they could walk up right next to me asking where i was and id just look up and say 'right here' and theyd just die#theres nothing more satisfying than seeing macho men scream like a little girl when the only thing you did was sitting still#my older sibling and i are also on the same train of thought when messing with others we can talk at the same time. tone. and mannerisms#we got called 'the twins from the shining' once from an ice cream store worker even though we are five years apart and dont look alike#for as much as most of the times ive scared someone being accidentall. their fear fills me as much and well as a feast does#its because a lot of people see me and think im dainty and innocent. its honestly sad how many people are surprised when i cuss
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