#I saw that it was at 1000 this morning and meant to post about it

[hiskillingjar]

Begging screaming and crying for something with teen edgelord oleander 🙏

absolutely you fucking can

1000+ words. sfw. cw for self harm, violent descriptions, dead animals, and uh. what i can only describe as OCD + jealousy spurned (vaguely) incestuous intrusive thoughts

“Do you have anything you’d like to say?”

Famous last words, before the gunshot and the splatter of blood, bone and brain matter out the back of a hostage’s head, almost black against the cement wall.

Lawrence stared at his laptop screen, his grey eyes fixed on the newest video on the front page of Liveleak that morning.

The hostage was a soldier and the shooter was probably another soldier, fighting a war thousands of miles from his house in the woods. Lawrence didn't tend to read the descriptions of the videos anymore, since he was more interested in the viscerality of what was posted.

Or, they should have been visceral. 

Lately, he wasn't getting the kinds of reactions from himself that he used to. 

He just sort of felt...numb to it all now, the worst gunshots and car accidents barely raising an eyebrow, let alone inspiring a gasp or a turned stomach.

Maybe that just meant he needed to up the stakes a little. Find a website that posted worse videos, more gruesome ones, and maybe then he'd start feeling something again.

"Dad's home," His sister, Lily, swung around his door frame, practically out of nowhere (he didn’t hear her coming up the stairs, she was that quiet), making him flinch and quickly shut his laptop, lest she see what he was looking at on a Saturday afternoon while she and Laurel were playing outside. "He's got a deer tied to the front of his truck."

"...Buck or doe?" Lawrence asked as he sat up, pushing a hand through his greasy hair.

He’d shower today. Or maybe Monday, before school.

"I dunno," She shrugged. "Whatever doesn't have horns."

"Antlers," Lawrence mumbled with a roll of his eyes, standing from his bed and setting his laptop down on the desk. "So it's a doe then. A girl deer."

"Aw, that's sad," Lily pouted, leaning in the doorframe, inadvertently pushing her chest forward. "What if it's, like, Bambi's mom or something?"

"Bambi isn't real," Lawrence said somewhat curtly, looking over his shoulder with a hard look before looking back towards his window when he saw Lily was wearing a low-cut sundress. "And Dad's killed a ton of girl deer before. Why do you care about them now?"

"Mm...I guess I didn't think about it before." She said before shrugging her freckled shoulders and skipping back the way she came, down the loft steps, clearly not bothered enough by their father's hunting habits to be too concerned by it.

Easy for her. 

She wasn't the person who was going to get called on to help skin it.

She wasn’t going to have to pin the doe down, spread her limbs out, open her up, watch her bleed as he stripped her to muscle and bone.

It was always so easy for Lily. 

And for Laurel, too, even if she was the more boy-ish one of the twins, sometimes more boy-ish than Lawrence himself was.

Hands clenched into fists at his side, Lawrence pressed his lips together tightly and let out a long, shaking breath through his nose, feeling his gut churn as he kept thinking about Lily in her sundress.

Yellow, adorned with daisies, white cotton socks and yellow jelly shoes to match her dress. Lily entertained her mother’s wishes for a ‘real girl’ in a ‘family of hunters’ (like Lawrence was any good at hunting anyway), a willing doll to dress up, that Laurel didn’t allow her and that Lawrence wasn’t allowed to want.

He quickly reached for the military tin on his desk, which contained his razors.

Lily’s sundress, her freckled shoulders and pale, burgeoning chest, her smiling lips and gap teeth.

He brought his other hand up and dug the blade of the cleanest razor into his wrist, barely feeling it.

Her jelly shoes which were caked with mud from playing outside, her thin legs marred with bruises and scrapes when it got too rough.

The cut stung a little more as he dragged the razor deeper into his skin, his long fingers trembling as he forced himself to feel the pain, feel it, you fucking degenerate, feel it.

Her flushed cheeks, even though she was never told off, never taught how to skin a buck, never reprimanded for crying as she did it, never told to stop crying, suck it up and cut your hair because you look like a fucking faggot, fucking faggot, FUCKING FAGGOT-

"Lawrence."

Lawrence flinched at the stern, solid sound of his father's voice, quickly turning around and pulling his hoodie sleeve down over his marred wrist, his razor digging into his palm.

"You see that doe on my car?" Father asked with a proud grin, his hands on his hips, a pocket knife on a carabiner swinging from his cargo shorts, never far away from tools of violence. “Me and the boys ‘been camping since six this morning for that beauty. Your old man got it in-,” He raised a hand up, extending two fingers towards the young boy and mimed a gunshot towards him. PEW! “One shot. Is that cool or what?!” 

"Um, yeah, Dad," Lawrence nodded, his eyes stinging from the pain in his wrist, threatening to tear up. "It's…really cool. Nice one."

"Damn right it is," He smiled even broader with a satisfied nod. "You're gonna help with skinning, so your mother can use it for dinner tomorrow."

It's not phrased like a question anymore. It's a demand.

You're going to. You will.

"Yeah," Lawrence nodded too, giving Father his best approximation of a smile possible. He had no doubt that Father wouldn’t see how empty it was. "Um, just give me a minute and I'll be out in a sec."

"I'll be counting!" Father called behind him as he paced away, floorboards creaking under his weight as he jogged down the stairs and left him to it.

Lawrence let out a strangled little whimper as he pulled his sodden jacket sleeve up, inspecting the damage he’d done to himself in his pursuit for absolution.

Multiple cuts, deep and painful and still oozing with blood. His palm had been sliced open too, but not nearly as bad as his wrists had been.

“Fuck,” He murmured, chewing the inside of his cheek, his teeth grinding (too tight in his skull) as he grabbed for the military tin again for a roll of bandages. 

“Dad’s gonna kill me…”

[bumblebeerror]

i saw your post about "testosterone" puberty and while i appreciate the sentiment, i think you're wrong. and i say this as someone who is amab and went through an amab puberty.

i didn't sweat that much at all. and even when i did in summer, it was nothing a shower, soap and deodorant couldn't fix. my hair never got greasy, even when i was depressed and went for a week without showering or washing it. in fact, it was the opposite: it was unusually dry. my skin also never got oily and was always dry.

very few of my peers stinked because we practiced proper hygiene. it's your own responsibility as a teenager to clean yourself and practice proper hygiene, no matter how much testosterone you make. it's not a valid excuse to be dirty.

the reason you're sweating so much is probably because you're overdosing on testosterone. most transmascs on t take doses WAY HIGHER that what the average cis boy/man produces. the average cis boy/man has levels of 400-500, meanwhile the average ftm dosage is around 800-1000.

also, the timing of testosterone production is different. cis boys/men produce it daily (every morning), meanwhile you guys get it weekly (whenever you take your shots). so it's more evenly spread out amongst cis boys/men.

if you're bothered by the symptoms you're experiencing, you should talk to your doctor about lowering your dosage.

Oh yay unsolicited health advice

My levels are round 400 as of my last blood test, thanks though.

I’m gonna stop you right there at my injections - testosterone injections are not done into veins. They’re done intramuscularly (into a large muscle) or subcutaneously (into the layer of fat that sits under the skin). This is because injectable testosterone is oil based, because it is meant to absorb slowly through the week, similarly to how it’s produced.

Not to mention, my body also… does make testosterone. Like on its own. Not enough to masculinize me, but testosterone is a hormone that regulates things like ovarian function and bone density in afab folks. All this to say that my body knows what to do with it, and if my levels were too high, my dose would have been lessened when my blood was tested. In fact I seem to struggle to absorb it properly - I originally started on low-dose T and had to increase it because it barely raised my levels at all.

With that out of the way, I’ll address the rest;

That… doesn’t change the fact that while you personally may not have sweat much or had oily skin, a lot of my classmates the first time I had puberty did. And a lot of them were my friends, because I was the only person who didn’t treat them like dirty and gross for struggling to adapt to their bodies changing.

Going through puberty the first time for me meant almost no change in how much I sweat, stank, or how comfortable I was. A week out of the month I had to deal with smelling like blood and dealing with pads and being extremely uncomfortable - im not saying it was a breeze, but what I am saying is I didn’t have to worry about gym class leaving a smiley face in sweat on my shirt, or being unpresentable in general unless I was on my period. And even then - if someone called me on it I could always say I was on my period and people would fuck off about it. Besides that, I’m saying I didn’t have to change my hygiene as a teen whatsoever. No changes. No increase in showers. No extra deodorant.

What I experience now is similar to what I saw my friends experience, and what I saw them catch absolute hell for.

Something that I, as an adult, do have the tools and knowledge to handle. But as a child, I would have struggled immensely.

I said it before and I will say it again. Sweaty, stinky, disheveled teenage boys are learning entirely new routines in order to be presentable. They’re fucking kids, and I personally think if you make fun of kids for not being able to adjust to a change that is so huge, I think that’s pretty shitty tbh.

They deserve a break.

[jegulushouse]

The Day After

This is half properly written and half bullet point ideas. I don't have a lot of experience writing with omegaverse dynamics so it may be a bit… I dunno.. clunky and rough in some spots as I learn and smooth out wrinkles… stick with me. Also, it's not front and centre.

⦁     Sirius brought Remus back to their apartment the morning after, which was routine when they were together post-moon. James used to be there and help until he went into hiding.

⦁     When they get to their place, Aberforth is standing in their kitchen. He informed them that Albus required their presences at St. Mungo's as soon as they were able to be there.

⦁     His alpha was in fairly rough condition so Sirius took the message and sent Aberforth on his merry way. He settled Lupin into their bed and healed his wounds as best as possible. He put a charmed meal, a few labeled potions and a note telling Remus that Dumbledore called and he'd be home as soon as possible on the nightstand.

⦁     Their bed is a four poster with thick curtains on the outside and thinner, partially translucent inner ones which allows privacy in light or darkness. It gives Remus a den aspect while Sirius can nest on the mattress.

⦁     Unfortunately, waking up to a missing pack- or bonded-mate and a note or message of some sort containing a vague description of what was happening and when it will or has occurred wasn't uncommon for lots of people, including Sirius and Remus. Full moons always ended up this way, if Remus was around and usually it was the barely functional werewolf being called away.

⦁     Remus knew that Sirius would fight until it killed him or they won and he loved this about his omega but Sirius being in less danger than him was something that pleased him. He also knew the only way that Sirius would never be called on for a dangerous mission was to win the war. If he wasn't already 1000% invested, he was for this objective.

⦁     Jokes on him, I can see rule-breaking Sirius becoming a law-enforcing auror provided the freedom to do so. Which has its risks ofc.

⦁     Sirius apparitated on the street outside and the first thing Sirius noticed that was off was the amount of celebrating wizards in the street; enough for muggles to take notice too. It didn't settle his growing panic, the panic which was always just under the surface these days.

⦁     The ever-present panic stilled his hyperactive restlessness to a sad, emptiness. Nobody has the time nor energy to cry and hyperventilate or crack a joke, Sirius included.

⦁     He was met in the lobby by Dumbledore, on his way out (to meet up with Regulus), and Lily. The alpha was crying. The sight of her made his stomach drop.

⦁     At first, he figured he must've made a face because the first thing Lily did was hug him too tight for him to breathe, her face in his neck. It occurred to him that she could smell him when he realized her alpha was trying to sooth his omega with her pheromones. Given her own state, she was failing to soothe him.

⦁     "We're fine. We all are." She said, "It's been a rollercoaster." He didn't ask what a rollercoaster was. A muggle thing.

⦁     Lily brought Sirius to James' room and began catching him up along the way. James was asleep. "He was awake earlier but he overexerted himself with Harry. Harry's," She stopped dead in her tracks and began crying again.

⦁     Seeing her child get hit with a killing curse is unimaginable and she saw it. He shouldn't've survived. She knows this.

⦁     "Lily?"

⦁     She pulled back after a moment and pushed her hair from her face as she regained her composure somewhat.

⦁     "Harry's fine. He's completely fine." She said, "Just a scratch." She whispered the last bit, more to herself than him. She began walking again and Sirius followed, finally processing what all of them being at St. Mungo's meant.

⦁     "What about James? Why are we here?" His brain and body made a connection for the first time since arriving and the questions began tumbling out his mouth. "You guys should be in--? Peter! Where is Pete? He's okay, right?"

⦁     They arrived in James' room and Lily sat down in a pre-positioned chair. She was already used to him being there but Sirius froze in the doorway.

⦁     James looked like he was asleep and he was just sleeping but part of Sirius needed convincing that he was only sleeping.

⦁     He could see it. James, who was hyperactive (bc panic didn't calm him like it did Sirius) and who could rarely stay still and talked in his sleep throughout their years at Hogwarts, was entirely still and a bit pale and the hospital scent blockers didn't help.

⦁     There was a bandage around his head but the dried blood that seeped through above his left eye told him where the injury was.

⦁     He could see it, a world where James wasn't breathing.

⦁     He pictured it all the time. More so since Peter was made their secret keeper 10 days prior. It started after the McKinnons died; Marlene was so peaceful looking like she was only asleep.

⦁     Marlene's death hit them all different; no longer were the victims people known by people they knew. It solidified that they weren't immune to this war, that their loved ones really could die, that they all really might die.

⦁     It hit them all different but Sirius found their bodies.

⦁     There were many nights after that where Sirius would shake Remus awake late into the night to hear him talk. To see that he was really alive. Or call Lily on the muggle phone to talk to her and James.

⦁     One time he made Peter floo over at 3 AM bc Peter was that nightmare's victim. The beta and his pregnant mate spent the night in Remus' den with the mated pair.

⦁     Yes, I gave peter a mate and child. They likely met right out of school and had a fast-paced romance (not unusual during war times; people don't know how much life they really have left). Guy or gal, any second gender as long as they can get pregnant bc they had a child.  

⦁     "He's okay. Sirius." Lily said, while summoning a chair and gesturing for Sirius to sit. "He was blown into a wall but the healers say he'll make a quick, full recovery. Harry has a mark on his head. It'll likely scar but he's truly okay. He's in the baby unit right now. James insists that Harry's here whenever he's awake and gets all worked up so Harry sleeps when James sleeps right now." She huffed in a hollow laugh. "Roles reversed."

⦁     "Lily." Sirius said slowly as he processed. "Lily, what happened? Did you leave Godric's Hollow? I know James is going stir-crazy but Peter's risking himself to protect--"

⦁     "We're not that stupid, Sirius Black." She snapped. Sirius flinched slightly and glanced at James.

⦁     Lily's face and tone softened. Sirius' glance to James was one downward and she recognized the submission even if the omega didn't notice himself. Sirius didn't submit to her quick-temper; it's not about dominance. This bothered her immediately.

⦁     Then she whispered. "Peter told. He told him, Sirius. He was in with Voldemort."

⦁     Was. Peter is dead. He couldn't breathe. Peter died.

⦁     Later he will feel guilty for grieving Peter's death before he even registered that Peter betrayed their pack first.

⦁     "Peter, he- he-- okay. No. No way. Peter, he- he wouldn't. He-" But he did. He was the only one who could. "Oh. Oh god no. No, no, no. I let him talk me into--"

⦁     "No. Sirius, you don't blame yourself." Lily cut his uncharacteristic stutter off. She should've known Sirius would blame himself. "We agreed, James and I. We trusted him too. You aren't to blame, okay?"

⦁     "Okay?" She repeated when Sirius didn't. "Sirius, I'm okay. My boys are fine."

⦁     "Yeah, okay." Sirius said. Lily nodded. She knew she wouldn't get more.

⦁     They were silent for a moment and watched James together. Lily wanted to put his glasses back on. Then he would look more like himself.

⦁     "You said 'was'. How did Pete die?" Sirius asked.

⦁     Lily startled out of her head and turned to Sirius. "No. Voldemort died." She sat back again. "Mal-- They captured Peter but he escaped."

⦁     That was what people were celebrating outside. He figured if he lived to see it that he would be with them but all he wanted was to see Harry now that he'd seen James. Lily and James were attacked. By Voldemort. Because Peter was a traitor. But they were okay. Lily, James and Harry were fine and Voldemort was dead.

⦁     "Also, the Malfoys are on our side. And Nott; a Slytherin a few years ahead of us."

⦁     "What!?" He hooked his foot around the leg of her chair and turned her bodily. She was sagging back against the plastic. Double agents were the least important bit of information she'd received in the last 24 hours.

⦁     Dumbledore brought Lily in on the spy statuses of the Malfoys and Nott which she shared with James. Voldemort died upstairs in the Potter house without seeing the Malfoys and Nott in the lower parts of the house and stairs (so he, too, is unaware).

⦁     "Y'know. Your cousin and her husband. They showed up with Dumbledore; I think they ratted Peter out to save us." Neither had it in them to laugh at the unintentional pun. "They have a little guy around Harry's age."

⦁     Lily would eventually explain how Dumbledore, Nott and the Malfoys showed up not even five minutes after Voldemort. How Voldemort died via back-firing curse meant for Harry and how Harry didn't die.  She would take him to see Harry and promise to floo him the moment James was up again. Then he would have to go and repeat the news to Remus.

[kingdom-of-kins]

helloo do you think i could get a shufflemancy for my relationship with sollux and also maybe cronus?? just a lil curious and trying to jog some mems, thank you :)

eridan a.

hey eridan! sure thing, theyre under they cut :3 obligatory reminder that these arent always accurate etc etc

sollux - champagne - machinery of the human heart

You're the single worst decision I've ever made Throw my cares away I like to keep you moving Sliding down your seat at the cabaret Love it when you say Who do you think you're fooling

Kiss me like you mean it, I'll do the same If you bite me hard Make sure you leave a scar And love me like you don't need her anyway It might seem bizarre But I might let you break my heart - And I remember when I saw you the other day In the alleyway But you were busy drinking All the single women like chardonnay Tell me what you paid For all that cheap champagne

Love me like you mean it, I'll do the same 'Cause you know it's true That I'm a fool for you I never meant to love you, it's just a game This is child's play But now there's so much more at stake - So I'll smash the lights and set the whole stage aglow It's the final scene Where you confess to me That I'm the only love you've ever known Come on, lie to me And say that we were meant to be

personal interpretation: i put pretty much all of the lyrics here cause honestly this ones pretty self explanatory. some sort of pitch feelings/relationship for sure!

cronus - pack up the louie - caro emerald

The cop rings and it's half past eleven Can't believe it but the time just flies Soon I'll be on a cruise into heaven Hearin stories and 1000 lies About the things that I'd never do Experience that I don't have It's kinda scary, I'm the big queen Mary Gotta get it, gotta do it fast Gotta grab a piece of paper, I wish I could find my pen What am I taking you? What am I waited for?

I gotta pack, gotta pack up the Louie And I can't leave a thing behind Gotta pack, gotta pack up the Louie For every different change of mind I got a pocket for every reason Every season be another day I gotta pack, gotta pack up the Louie I love my louie when I go away - First stop is gonna be Buenos Aires Tango listener all night long Two days and we're heading off to Rio Kind of running from morning til dawn Then I'll slumber as queen seniorita Do Havana down the emerald way But before I get on the line Some gotta go, some gotta stay So I brought a piece of paper, tear it out of my cahier Next time, I'm not hesitating I think I'm leaving today

personal interpretation: i actually got two different songs before this, both of which arent ones im comfortable posting, so uhh. yeah! take that as you will. anyways generally just a 'on the run' type song.

[firebirdsdaughter]

O_O

Y’ALL.

TT_TT

[nonokoko13]

Child!reader being adopted by spy x family characters Pt. 2

As I said in the previous part, these adoption headcanons are really specific, including your hypothetical pronouns and name; these two are extra so you can imagine yourself with your name and desired gender. You can ask for less specific headcanons if you want too. Part 1 here

Enjoy!

Sylvia Sherwood

How you met

She carries the responsibility of WISE, she needs to be committed to it. More than ever now that the peace was threatened every day by those who wanted war to arise again

She missed her family, but she overcame it. Just like the HQ she had to be impenetrable

At least, that's what she thought

Because right in front of her there was the question which answers she wanted to hear. A kid.

It would be normal to see one if she wasn't at the HQ

It didn't help no one knew there was a kid there until you spoke up

The camera system didn't record you and there wasn't any entrance to the agency that had been forced. You weren't any employee's kid either

After scolding them and order to search your parents she met you again

"Hello little one. May I ask you how did you get in here?"

You smiled, seeming to have been waiting her to ask

"Because I like to play and explore! And I'm really good at hide and seek"

Sylvia raised an eyebrow. No matter how well someone was good at hiding there was no way you could break into the HQ; it sounded surrealistic

"But how did you find this place?"

"Because it was easy to find"

"Don't you think you could end bad breaking into unknown places?"

"If I don't know what isthis place how I'd know that?"

Fair enough

That conversation wasn't going anywhere, yet she was angrier with the security staff than you. You didn't look worried though

You gave her an idea

"Do you want to play with me?"

Both entered in the nearest police station, she talked with the officers before telling you to count until 1000 while she was going to hide. You started the count facing a wall

She felt bad, but there were some traffickers she had to catch before they made the exchange

She was following their car; everything fine until she believed to see a small hand greeting her from the car's trunk

She returned to the police station to find out that moments later of her departure you disappeared without anyone realizing. She went to the point where the delivery would be made

Outside the abandoned warehouse there was no signal that you were there until she saw you getting out from under the car on the other side

Something caused a shooting that would make the police come and caught her at any moment. The bands kept shooting at each other while you were behind a transport container

"What were you thinking?! I told you to stay with the police!"

"I'm sorry, I counted until I know, then I saw you following the car, so I followed too. But before they caught me I hid in there...I'm sorry..." You pulled out a walkie-talkie

"I got two from the police station. I left one in there so the others thought the guys of that car were betraying them, it should have worked to scape with no bad guys seeing us"

She was impressed. However, there was no time to ask where you learn that from

Analyzing the situation the principal scape was blocked, fortunately they hadn't noticed you yet so–

You pulled her shirt, pointing somewhere else

"Let's get out"

General headcanons

Sylvia was still surprised that your plan of exiting through a rear window she hadn't seen and walk away without hurry could work

She stopped walking to watch you smash the walkie-talkie and take out some matches to burn it

"Now they can't find footprints!"

The police may not get answers about it but she had many questions for you

She lied to you about the HQ, after the shooting her lie was on the floor. Thenceforth Sylvia's not able to tell if you were playing along and keeping her secret or you have no idea what's all about

You thought her name was Handler. When you knew she was called Sylvia Sherwood you pointed your hoody logo and say "S of Super, you're superman–Superwoman!"

That's how she begun to be mistaken with an endearing mother and her son. She was superwoman and you "kid", because you said that's how you were called, along with child, shrimp, demon...

"That's unacceptable". She handed you lists of names to choose, unfortunately no one convinced you

It wasn't until you two went to a jewelry store that you found the name

The casual way you break in HQ when you want still frustrates her, how do you do it?? You don't see big deal though

Fullmetal lady didn't remember how tough was motherhood

Anyone would freak out if they found out about spies. Yet there you are, admiring flying guys in underpants

Sylvia asked you about your family, but you always tell the same: you lived with dad until he left you with a woman that he said was your mom

The Handler found out your father is a repeat offender, currently on a maximum security prison in another country. Both him and the woman without offspring legally

"Please, don't tell me one of his criminal records is jailbreaking"

The informant doubted "Actually, that's the main one"

"..."

The Forgers

Scenario where it's up to both of them to adopt you. To keep Loid's mental sanity safe it will be independent of the timeline where Yor has a kid on her own, feel free to imagine both kids being Anya's siblings at the same time. You can ask me to include that idea if I write more about this

How you met

As I said before Twilight wouldn't adopt anyone due his job, only one kid for Operation Strix and that was Anya. For now Yor didn't want more kids, she loves Anya and that's enough for them

Not for Anya. She wanted a little sibling

All started talking with Becky when Damian mentioned his brother. Back at home she brought the topic and neither Pa or Ma were giving her an answer of where babies come from

That's when she begun to feel like being a sister. Any plan helped her to convince her parents though

Anya remembered something Mr Henderson told them. "If you want something, take it into your own hands"

And she took it too seriously

Next day Anya and Bond disappeared, she was in the dogs park with Yor

While Mrs Forger panicked Anya had returned to the place she met Twilight

As the time passed the Forgers worried more. When they found Anya and Bond at their building's door they felt relieved

Your presence didn't make things better

They asked Anya where she had been and where did you come from. She said she adopted you

Of course Anya wasn't going to say she broke into an orphanage and took you

Loid's scolding made you cry

"Anya, we aren't adopting–"

"If she's not my sister I won't go to school ever again!!"

"Just for a trial period" that's what Loid hoped

General headcanons

Loid thought babies were easy because it's unnecessary (more impossible) communication with a living being that can't talk; after all babies only have basic needs. He was wrong

It would be easier if you could talk. Why are you crying? You have eaten! Are you sad? Cold? You dislike him?

Yor is not better either. Because her parents died when Yuri was a kid Yor didn't have experience with changing diapers, or anything related with babies

She was more scared than Loid to the point she didn't want to hold you. She broke Yuri's ribs with a hug when he was a toddler, what if she kills you with few contact?

In less than 24 hours you already had a crib and all kinds of things a baby would need. However, having three bedrooms and parents sleeping in separate rooms meant all your things ended in Anya's room

You cried at night until they discovered you calmed down when Anya let you a plushie to hug

She can't wait for the day pa and ma share bed to take back her bedroom

The second night Anya had an idea

Ma is scared of being your mom, solution? Leave you in her bed while Yor is asleep imagining that would work

Thanks God Yor doesn't move much when sleeping. On the other hand Yor is a light sleeper due not being used to sleep with someone so she woke up minutes later

She almost jump out of the bed, realizing that would make you cry made her contain. You groaned, did she wake you up? Yor wasn't sure of holding you, instead she laid down again and approached you to her chest

Seeing you so peaceful by her side melted her, thinking about it you looked a bit like her and Loid.. She blushed at the embarrassing thought

Bold of them to not imagine that's why Anya chose you

In the morning Loid discovered what happened and had a little words with Anya during breakfast before she went to school

Yor went to work and he decided to take a day off from his work to spend the morning with you. The Handler said the first days you should see them to recognize faces

Walks with Bond, buying toys, trying to teach you sign language...Normal stuff

Loid is glad you don't do anything but sleep and eat, except your obsession with munching. When you first kissed Yor he found it normal until you munched her cheek and now you do that to everyone; probably you're teething

Yor found it really cute, but you shouldn't go kissing and chewing cheeks. Anya thinks is funny just don't try to chew her hair again please

Another problem came with names. Loid was going through a list of 850 names in alphabetical order, meanings included; Yor didn't take it to the extreme

"Hum, what about Rose? I think it's a cute name, I mean it's both decision and I'm not good with names Loid–"

Welcome to the family Rose

A spy, an assassin, a telepath and... Well, a baby. Seems like a good mix

Yor Briar

As we know Twilight only would adopt for Operation Strix's sake. Yor became mother by marrying Loid, but what if she had already a kid before being Mrs Forger?

Inspired by this post of @say-seira

How you met

Long ago before Twilight adopted the identity of Loid Forger, the Briars moved to a flat in Berlint

While the eldest sibling had recently become an adult Yuri was only a kid, Yor decided to move to the city so he had nearer his school. It was possible due her proper salary as Thorn Princess

This change would make her job easier too. She had a new client which death could pay Yuri's entrance to a good university

There was a politician who negotiated with terrorists, helping them to get into Ostania and providing them with weapons in exchange to gain good propaganda abroad and getting rid of competition

Knowing this was enough to make Yor's blood boil. He deserved to die, she was sure of it

Struggling with the security around him, Yor finally killed the target without leaving trace

The only inconvenience was a bad injury made by a bullet that she received. After removing the bullet the wound got worse

She went to the hospital to avoid an infection. In the waiting room she met a kind lady, Yor swore that she had seen her before

The woman was scared, but Yor reassured her she will wait her

While Yor was attended the girl was taken to another room. As she promised, Yor waited in the hall after her wound was treated; with a buttoned medical gown on because she didn't want to attract more attention due the bandaged wound in sight

Time passed and many people enter and exit from the room, but she didn't. A nurse carrying something mistook her for one of the staff and scolded her for standing there

"Here, take the baby to the nursery"

"Me? But— wait! What about the woman? Is she okay?"

From afar she heard the answer, but before Yor could explain the error the woman had left. She was shocked, how? She seemed fine

Against her will the dark-haired looked at the lump she was holding: rosy cheeks babbling in dreams, you were in peace

Her shock grew when she saw you shared the username that the man she killed had. That's why the woman was familiar: she was the politician's daughter

Yor searched someone who hand the baby when she recognized the doctor that guided the woman to the room, he was talking with a masked nurse

The fact they went to a private place and maintained their voices low made her suspect

"Did you take care of the mother?" the nurse asked

"Yes, they got ahead of us with her father but I think they will pay us anyway. When they found it was a medical negligence we'll be far from here"

Yor understood they were assassins as well, probably paid by a rival. Luckily they hadn't seen her yet

"Heh, do you they will pay more if we got rid of the baby?"

Yor left the hospital with you, unsure of what to do. Did you have more relatives? The widowed politician didn't have more kids, and your mother came alone. What if they wanted to kill the rest of the family?

A small hand grabbed hers, and every fear disappeared. Looking at each other, she knew you were safer with her. Perhaps it was only guilt or sympathy, but she would try

General headcanons

The moment Yuri saw Yor holding you was in disbelief. Yor said she found you in the streets and he believed it

At first he tried to convince her sister to leave you in a orphanage but once scolding was enough to cease

Still disliking you for the first months. It took some time until he saw you like one of his family

Yuri helped, although they had a rough time because you refused to eat Yor's purees. Your endurance might grew up to make you the only person who can eat her food without bleeding but it doesn't mean you like its flavor

She viewed you as a sibling until you were two, being called mom made Yor too happy to correct you. Yuri was just Yuri, you never feel like using formalities with him or addressing "Uncle" everytime you talked

Yor decided to let your belongings, it was better that way. When you were older, and only if you wanted, she would tell you the truth

She's bad with names, Rose was the only name she could think of but you're a boy. Yor's parents loved that Yuri and her had matching names, therefore you would be the sweet addition to it

The only name I could think of is Yuu because it's gender neutral and means "you" sorry

During the first year of your life she didn't try to hide the blood of her clothes from you. Yuri never suspected either and you wouldn't remember it when you grow up

Your lack of childhood amnesia was something she didn't have in count. Not that she knows you know anyway

Yor has been training you since you were able to walk, if she wasn't there when you needed at least you would be ready to defend yourself. Proud to say you're her strong boy

That said, if the assassins that tried to killed you found were you lived it's something you ignore. Being the protective mother Yor is they could be dead by now

Six years later, it was still Yor and you against the world, with Yuri being the only paternal figure you had. Before one day she met a man and everything changed

She said he will help her by accompanying her to a party so Yuri stopped worrying about her. She said it would be one night, and the next morning you woke up with Yor waiting to talk with you

In part she accepted because of you; you passed the Eden exam before knowing you needed a dad for it. That requisite seemed stupid for you, as you reassured her you could go to any other school; now you would be accepted into the best school!

You agreed and started packing. What else you could do? The decision was made before you were asked anyway, and you didn't want to argue with your mom because she was doing it for your future too

Of course it affected you. No matter how nice they were it was a huge change; in one day you had to move to a new place which didn't feel like home and live with strangers who you'll have to share mom with isn't easy

Anya was nervous too, but for different reasons. She was so excited to meet her soon-to-be sibling! For her, who was an orphan last week, having a pa, a ma and a friend to play with was great

Her expectations went down when she read your mind. You didn't think bad of them, but excited wasn't the word to describe your emotional state either

Loid may not be good at understanding children, but it was clear for him you wasn't comfortable. For him would be weirder if you didn't seem affected at all

On the contrary, Yor seemed cool with all of this to you. Even without any idea of how to be a wife or mother for Anya she enjoyed her time as Forger, which confused you a bit

Yor is happier, not only because she didn't have to worry about the SSS or Yuri anymore. They make her happier, it's just matter of time she could fall for Loid and have a baby that was her own, real kid

Being sure Yor loves you and your new family want you to feel welcomed doesn't make disappear the feelings you carry with. Still, if mom is happy you prefer to keep it to yourself and try to maker her smile too

If it wasn't because Yuri hates the idea of her sister hiding her marriage for a year and sympathized your situation he would have laughed at the irony when you told him during your uncle-nephew walk the next day of his meeting with "Loiloi"

He doesn't know they got married before you attended school so he assumed you had been holding it for a long time. He passed his fingers through your hair

"I understand it's difficult, but I'll be for you whenever you need me"

+ Honorable mention to compensate you for the mild ansgt without warning

Daybreak

We don't know much about him but I included this dork for fun

Thinking about "Daybreak" and "parenthood" makes anyone's mind stopped working

Mainly because it's difficult to say which one would be the child

Not "How you met headcanons" because he wouldn't be able to adopt to begin with

From what we saw in chapter 27 he seems to live alone, depending on his amazing spy career to afford pork steak for dinner. So he must not live too good given that after his first mission he was fired

If he had a child, it would be likely because of a previous relationship he had and didn't end well

He didn't adopt you. You're his biological kid, the only not adopted of this gang

Sorry we can't choose our family good luck ig

Not necessarily ended bad, even remaining as friends, your mother took a different path and is happily married with another man

If she knew he wanted to be a spy either thought "it's a joke" or *sigh*

She was who brought money in the relationship, now you live with her and your step-dad but at the beginning you didn't want to

Daybreak talked with you and promised you could visit each other and even live with him when he could afford it

They don't get it

Who would take care of him? The idea of living on his own was frightening to you

Imagine being father and is your kid who worries about whether pops know how to pay taxes without mom

You took after him in terms of appearance. Any signal of intelligence was from your mother

Average smart but surely smarter than him

Probably he thanked God that you were a boy. He will love whatever you are but he was relieved of saving himself of buying female products when you were on that time of the month and guide you through puberty

As much as he says to be a charming man he's not good with women either so

Your name is Sunny. Guess who chose it

Probably you see him more on weekends than during the week

Until you showed him Spy Wars he didn't have no idea that existed such good series

Of course not cooler than the legend he is but Daybreak jokes about how reading that and seeing your cool pops in action would make you half as good spy as he is someday

Quite sad is that your common sense along with the things you see on TV are enough to be better spy material

You try to watch it with him to see if he learns something

Unsure of what you'll be in the future but in the mean time you had fun watching cartoons and liking kids stuff like dinosaurs and skateboard

Current status: Busy with your first year at school and getting him out of trouble

[a-v-j]

Extra Service(18+)

Ok, so imma share the first 1000 words of this fic i’ve been meaning to post for months i think. Kinda nervous actually cuz i know my writing is not in-level with my totally amazing drawing skillz lol

but anywho, this features Forbidden Spaghetti #5(AKA crackshiiiiiip)

idk but i think i should mention that this fic include heat cycles(might be bad presentation too but im trying!) and swearing

OH YEAH, this “chapter” doesnt have the 18+ bits yet, so if this post gets some positive feedback i will post the next parts! (NO CRITIQUEs ALLOWED cuz im stubborn like that, probably from friends only! mAyBE!)

ALRIGHT LET”S GO (MINI COMIC AT THE END! DONT MISS IT!)

“Do me”

“Pardon?” The taller skeleton’s head snapped up almost immediately and stared with confusion at his client, who without being noticed had made his way closer to the front of his desk.

*Thirteen minutes earlier*

Quick tapping of foot steps echoed in the empty hallway as Snap walked briskly into his work office, it was another typical work day as the therapist in Coreverse headquarters and even though it wont be for another thirty minutes before his work hours actually starts, he went in early anyway because he liked being punctual. Early bird catches the worm as they say.

Upon sitting on his chair and with coffee already in hand, he flipped through his files and hummed to himself, noting his first appointment is with his regular, Corrupto. It wasn’t like he doesn’t like this particular client, no, in fact he took it as a challenge and to help as much as he could. And he was the only available therapist that was qualified for out-of-multiverse work and Cor wasn’t the type to be handled by regular therapist, not to mention he was a really tough nut to crack. He and Cor had been seeing each other for a long while now, and without reported violent behaviors from the other, just means there’s an established trust and knowing Cor, trust was not something he gives away freely.

A few minutes later, Snap, not yet taking his eyelights off from his notes, heard his office door open quietly, indicating his client has arrived to his morning appointment. He glanced up out of curiosity because he would usually hear the other grumble his way to his seat after harshly opening the door and rudely pushing it close but he only saw Cor closing it and walking to his spot without making any much noise. His client was unusually quiet with expression stern and sullen. Snap took note of that and warmly welcomed him, still the other did not give a response nor eye contact.

“How are you feeling today, Auto*?” Snap continued, half expecting the other to pull a wise-crack on him and say “with my hands” or something like that but the only response he received was more silence.

*Cor requested he should be called by “his real name”, the name Corrupto was from “Corrupted!Auto” and he didn’t like everyone calling him that.

“In a scale of 1 to 10. How do you rate your current mood today?” The therapist tried again and, this time, his client mumbled something inaudible. That’s a start, at least.

“Could you repeat that again? Please, don’t hesitate, this is a safe place” Snap reassured, and he was getting genuinely worried.

“I’m horny” Cor finally stated louder, still not making eye contact

“Oh-” There was a pause of awkward silence before Snap quickly collected his thoughts back and wrote on his note. “That’s normal. People always have arousal then, now and again.”

Snap mentally breathe out in relief because for a moment he thought Cor was into something really serious, or worse, dangerous. He was used to the other casually talking about sex related topics and was quite aware how the other was, let’s say, deprived. But still, something wasn’t right and Cor was acting out of it.

“No, I mean I’m that kinda horny.” Cor was clearly having a bit of a hard time trying to relay what he was trying to tell Snap but Snap knew right away what the other meant.

“Oh...the heat kind?”

Cor meekly nodded. Snap nodded back and went back to write a note. Knowing Cor, he was a guy that would shamelessly talk about sex out loud but he doesnt seem to be proud talking about this particular topic. Perhaps even embarrassed.

“So what would be your decision, Auto? Should we continue or would you like to end this session early and take a break?” Snap inquired.

“Continue”

”Are you sure? It’s 100% ok to skip for today-”He felt the other glare, insisting his decision was absolute

“Ok, I’m making sure you’re totally ok” After seeing a solid affirmation again from the other, he proceed to write things down and did a quick re-calibration of his strategy.

After a few more moments of silence. “Can I ask you a favor?”

Snap attentively glanced up to Cor, “Sure, anything I could do to help” before turning back briefly on his desk to organize some clutter .

“Do me”

“Pardon?” The taller skeleton’s head snapped up almost immediately and stared with confusion at his client, who without being noticed had made his way closer to the front of his desk.

Cor maintained a sharp eye contact into the therapist, he was fully aware that Snap could now fully see his sweating and flustered expression. He felt vulnerable and so lost focus and glanced away. He tried to speak again in a low volume

“I…I need you to..fuck me” His tone came out kinda shaky, clearly hesitating to say his indecent proposal.

“Wha-”

“SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME.” Snap immediately did as told

“This heat is gonna fuck me up for a week or so and I don’t need that kinda shit right now. If I just get it one time it’ll be over asap. Only you know about this and you’re the only one I could trust. And I’m not gonna op for some saps, ya get me?” Cor glared.

“But this is inappropriate, unprofessional!” Snap objected, shocked and incredibly worried for the both of them but at the same time, feeling a bit excited with the idea…? NO, BAD SNAP

“You say you want to help me, and this is one way to do it. Anything that would happen here, stays in this room and will never be talked about again” Cor sternly looked Snap in the eye, clearly definite with his decision to back out anytime soon.

“Ma-maybe we could find other options for this awkward situation???” Snap almost faltered but he tried to gain control over the situation which was getting a bit hard when the thing down there is getting uncomfortably tight in its fabric containment

“...”

”Are you ace?”

“What? No, I’m not.” Snap was momentarily caught off guard by the fact Cor put in consideration in asking for his orientation.

“So ya gonna help me out or what?”

Snap stood up from his chair and firmly held Cor by the shoulder and gently spoke, “Auto, I understand your actions might be greatly influenced by your heat and I’m afraid you’ll regret it once you’re clear but I do need you to understand that I’m your therapist, you’re my client and what you are asking of me just cant happen, I’m sorry”

Cor wasn’t in the slightest moved at all, he raised a brow and took a glance downwards and back up again to look Snap in the eyes.

“That looks heavy, let me give you a hand”, he deadpanned

[kiribaku-queen]

The Blood King and his Queen [10]

Pairing: Bakugou x reader

Romance, Angst, Drama

Word count: 3.6K

TIGGER WARNING: 18+ scene, first time, taking virginity, vanilla sex. If you are not comfortable reading smut or are NOT 18, please read up until the line!

Summary:  From being a mere servant girl to marrying the scariest prince in existence, your world changed right before your eyes. Exchanging places with the princess, you knew, wasn’t going to be easy. But could you have found love on the way? Or was it never meant to be?

A/N: Happy reading my loves!

Thank you for helping me reach 1000+ followers! I have a follower event posted, if you haven't seen it! Requests are still open if you are interested. Rules are posted after this chapter and you can see them if you scroll down my page. Will be reblogging soon!

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It all felt like a dream. When you woke up from the warm, sun rays, Bakugou’s dreamy face was the first thing you saw. Eyes closed without a care in the world. You finally felt a piece and that everything was turning right for you, that this was going to be your new life.

There was nothing you wanted more than for you to be in Bakugou’s arms, and that’s where you were this very instant. His arm wrapped around you in a tight, protective hold, his face just centimeters away from you, you could feel his breath tickle your skin. He looks so peaceful when he’s sleeping. So relaxed and calm. You wonder why he couldn’t look like that all the time.

But happiness and euphoria came to a halt when you both became a lot busier. Especially since the ball was right around the corner. You were lucky if you were able to even hear his voice. He would be in bed late at night and you would miss him in the mornings because of how much of an early riser he was. Sure it was disappointing now being able to see him nowadays, but after this ball, you were going to spend the rest of your life with him. So there was no need to fret over it now.

You were walking down the hallway with Mina as she was teaching you more about how this palace ran. You got an idea of how your palace ran since you were basically everywhere. Bakugou’s palace was sort of the same concept, only a few things were different. You had to learn where everything was and how to run as queen and what better way for someone to show you than Mina. She was close to the Blood Prince so she had a good idea of how the palace ran. She was telling the history of the royal family, their ups and downs and their legacy. Mina was deep into conversation when a hand covered your mouth and brought you to a secluded area nearby. You make a sound of shock, but because the hand muffled the sound of your voice, Mina didn’t notice and continued walking on.

You were expecting your back to be slammed against the wall, but you were surprised when a hand gently stopped the impact. You came face to face with the one and only Blood Prince who had a smirk on his face.

“Katsuki!” your eyes welled up with tears and you immediately pulled him in for a tight hug. God, you missed his touch, his warmth, his everything. Bakugou hugged you just as tightly. He pulled away to give you a chaste kiss upon your lips. You couldn’t help but melt into him, your knees falling weak. Thankfully, Bakugou still had a good grasp on you.

“I missed you,” he breathed, letting your foreheads rest together.

“You stole my line,” you joked, kissing him again. This time, Bakugou was smiling into the kiss.

“Shouldn’t you being your princely duties,” you reminded him, trying to pull away but Bakugou wasn’t done with you just yet. He kept trying to kiss you despite you physically pulling away to talk to him. When he started getting frustrated with your refusal to kiss him, he started attacking your jaw line and your neck.

“Katsuki~” you whined.

“Let’s just enjoy this moment. I don’t have much time before they notice I’m gone,” he said in between kisses.

“You missed me that much?” you teased and you expected Bakugou to give you some snarky remark but he admit it.

“I missed you so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he came back up to your lips, claiming you as his. He pushed your bodies together, your lips never leaving each other at that point. You both craved each other. After getting that first kiss out of the way, you weren’t afraid to kiss each other all you want. It was almost an addiction. The flavour of his lips made you crave for more. You were too immersed in each other that you didn’t notice a pink haired soldier giving you the death stare. Obviously, you weren’t going to look at her direction any time soon, so she cleared her throat, making her presence known.

“Are you done yet?” she asks, startling the both of you. You were quick to pull away from embarrassment that you got caught. But Bakugou, on the other hand, just stared at her while still saying in his pose: one arm around your waist while the other was bracing the wall. Mina didn’t hesitate to grab you, pulling you to her side.

“If you’ll excuse me, your highness, but I’ll have to take my girl back. I was in the middle of a lesson and if she’s going to be your queen, she’s gonna need to know this stuff!” she scolded her future King. She took your hand and personally escorted you away so she could finish what she was saying.

“Tch,” Bakugou smirked, finally standing tall and watched as his most trusted soldier took you away. Mina was the only person, besides Kirishima, who was allowed to be that sassy with him. He took another moment to look at your retreating figure before joining the rest of his soldiers who were resting against the wall, waiting for his highness to be done with his business.

As Mina had her hand in yours and continued to talk your head off, you kept looking back behind you at Bakugou. Mina noticed that you still weren’t paying attention and stopped in her tracks. Her eyes traveled to where yours was and her eyes softened.

“Are you listening to me?” she playfully scolded, placing both of her hand on her hips as if she was mad.

“Yes, ma’am,” you said sadly, giving her your best puppy dog eyes. Mina knew those eyes but she wasn’t going to fall for them so easily. Bakugou’s figure was quickly disappearing, but Mina wasn’t budging. So you jutted your bottom lips out, adding to the effect and pleaded to her. Mina knew that she was going to let you go but just wanted to give you a hard time.

“Alright, just one!” she allowed and your face just brightened up. You dashed down the hall, as quickly as you could in that dress, straight into Bakugou’s arms.

Bakugou didn’t sense it at first. He thought your little makeout session was the last he was going to see you until after his work was done. He wasn’t expecting you to make a run for it down the hall to him. Bakugou only turned around when he heard running coming closer to him. As soon as he turned around, you jumped into his arms and gave him one last passionate kiss.

Mina smiled softly as the sight, her heart full of happiness and love for the both of you. Kirishima and the boys looked away respectfully to give you guys space. Sero had to slap Denki’s face away because he was just staring so obviously.

Before Bakugou could relax into the kiss, you already pulled away and returned to Mina’s side. For the first time in his life, he had no words to say. He could only stare at you in disbelief, but in the good way. He smiled, shaking his head and continued on his way in an incredibly good mood.

You returned to Mina’s side, feeling accomplished and you both giggled like little girls.

“Okay, okay. You’ve had your fun, your highness. But I really need to tell you about this war because I think it’s so interesting and I think you’d really like it. So…” Mina babbled on, getting really excited to talk about the history of the Kingdom. Of course you were listening but your mind still wandered to a particular blonde prince that had your heads in the clouds.

You were back in Bakugou’s room, getting ready for bed. You looked in the mirror, brushing your hair out and lost in thought. The date until you officially marry Bakugou was fast approaching and still, you hadn’t told him your biggest secret. Whether you tell him now or later, he was going to be angry. Nothing was happening yet. You don’t think the real princess knows. If she did, you were sure you’d be back at the palace by now. So were you safe? There is never going to be a right time to tell him. But was it best that you took this secret to your grave? Could you handle all the guilt? No. You had to tell him. Tonight, you decided.

You had just finished brushing out your hair when you saw Bakugou enter your room, making you gasp in surprise.

“You’re back already?” you asked, getting up to greet him at the door. He welcomed you with open arms, taking in your scent.

“I’ve got to get plenty of rest for tomorrow,” he said. Ah, that’s right. The ball to celebrate your engagement was tomorrow. Already?

“Oh, so you didn’t come back early because you missed me but because you were getting ready for tomorrow. I see,” you huffed playfully, crossing your arms and walked away. Bakugou grabbed your arm before you could walk completely away from him and pulled you in close.

“Stop. You know I missed you,” he said seriously. Your hand touched his bare chest, his warm radiating from his body made your heart race. No matter how many time you could see him shirtless or how many times you’ve touched him, it would still bring butterflies to your stomach.

The same thing could be said for Bakugou. It didn’t help that you were wearing a loose, fitting nightgown, leaving everything up for the imagination. Granted, he had already seen your naked body once, but it was only a glimpse. He didn’t get a good look before so he could only imagine what it would be like when you were under him, taking your naked form all in.

Bakugou scoops your face in his large palms, bringing you close to him until he places his lips on yours, the fluttering feeling in your stomach only intensifying. He broke the kiss for both of you to catch your breaths and claimed your lips as his again. His kisses felt different, like they had a purpose. His hands started roaming around your body, making you feel hot all over. It started on your back, then slowly caressed down to your waist and then over the curves of your ass. Your mind was filled with thoughts of him that it was driving you mad.

Bakugou wasn’t satisfied with just kissing you. He was craving more. Hungry for more, he moved on to kiss your neck but you tried to stop him.

“Wait, I need to tell you something first,” you grabbed onto his shoulders, but the way he moved his lips and how his tongue swiped against your skin was making you almost forget what you were about to say.

“Do you trust me?” he breathed, detaching from your neck momentarily.

“O-Of course I trust you. But it’s kind of important,” you said.

“Kind of. Surely it can wait till the morning,” Bakugou continued attacking you with kisses.

“But Katsuki-” Bakugou interrupted you by completely stopping his actions to look you dead in the eyes with the most serious expression.

“Do you trust me?” he asks again. You stared into those crimson orbs of his and sighed.

“I trust you. But-” you couldn’t finish your thought because Bakugou had turned you around so that you could see yourself in the mirror.

“Whatever it is you have to say, it can wait till morning. Right now, to me, there’s nothing more important than making sure you feel like a queen,” he declared, looking at you from the mirror.

---------------------------------------

Bakugou starts kissing your neck again, his soft lips coming into contact with your bare skin sent chills down your spine. You allowed yourself to submit to his touch, closing your eyes to heighten your senses to his touch.

Gently and deliberately, his hands moved to the back of your gown, untying the bow. He fingers wrapped around the silk fabric, feeling every knot come undone. He goes slow, feeling the curvature of your waist, then your lips, then all the way back to your shoulders. He takes his time removing your gown, admiring your bare shoulders and back that were now exposed. Your gown falls with a soft swish to the floor. The cold air made you shiver but Bakugou made up for it by his roaming hands that were so warm to the touch.

He feels up on your naked body again, this time roaming up the front, groping your breasts in his hands and then caressing your neck. His mouth moved from your neck to your shoulders. You could feel his tongue swipe against your skin for a more tingling sensation. You didn’t want to waste another minute. You turn around and kissed him. He holds you tightly in his arms, kissing you back with the most love. You pull him closer to you, guiding him to the bed.

You fell onto the bed, his arms falling on both sides of your head. Bakugou climbs on top of you, removing his cape swiftly without disconnecting the kiss. He then scoops you up in his arms, you hands fall to rest on his cheeks and the back of his neck. Your tongues tangoed together in a lover’s dance.

God, what was happening right now? You were completely naked, Bakugou was half naked at the moment. The ambiance of the room was intense and clearly getting more heated by the second. You had no idea what you were doing nor did you know what was going to happen. Everything was happening so fast, you didn’t have time to think. All you knew is that you didn’t want to stop. Your lower region became numb and tingly. You’ve never felt this sensation before. Everything was so new. Your mind was all fuzzy with thoughts of him, it was driving you crazy.

One hand roamed down to your waist while the other hand was busy doing something else. You could hear him fiddling around with his pants and the sound of it coming off. Almost immediately you could feel something hard hit your inner thighs. You jumped in shock, only imagining what it was.

You didn’t know anything about sex. You were so coped up in the palace walls and you weren’t educated on anything. The only thing you remember growing up was that you shouldn’t show your body to anybody but your partner. And that was only if you were married. But what were you doing now? You weren’t not married yet Bakugou was devouring you all over. His touch was so addicting and he was touching you in all of the right places. An unfamiliar feeling started in the pit of your stomach and there was an aching feeling in between your legs.

Bakugou broke away from the breathless kiss, saliva connecting your tongues together. He takes this time to admire your bare body. He never noticed how curvaceous you were, you were just perfect. Your chest was heaving up and down, making his eyes move to the mounds of your breasts. Your nipples were erect from how turned on you were feeling. Bakugou couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight. Then he ventured lower and he almost groaned when your legs were already spread, ready to take him in. It was making him even more hard.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful,” he whispers. He licks his hand and started pumping his cock. If he didn’t do something soon, his cock would explode for being neglected. He moves closer to your entrance but before he could put it in, you stop him by putting your hands on his chest.

“What are you doing?” you asked, panic starting to rise in you.

“You trust me, don’t you?” he asks. You nod your head. “I promise, I’ll make you feel so good. It’ll hurt for just a bit.” He warned. You take a deep breath, putting all your trust in him. He glances up at you. When you looked ready, he slid his dick inside you, all of it and fast. You take a sharp intake, surprised by his action and how much it hurt. So much so that you feel it in your throat. You grab onto his forearms for dear life. He leans down into you and whispers in your ear.

“Breathe, my princess. Just breath,” he tries to direct you. And so you do as you’re told. Bakugou doesn’t move and just stays still to let you adjust to his size. Slowly, you start to relax. You let your shoulders fall and allow your body to fully ease. The tightness around his cock eventually became looser. That indicated to Bakugou that that was a sign to move. Bakugou slowly thrusts into you. The feeling of pain was still there in the start, but the more you relaxed, the more you felt that pain turn into pleasure.

You started to moan, your eyes rolling in the back of your head. You’ve never felt like this before. It was all new, but making you crave more of his touch.

Bakugou groans loudly at the pleasure. He loved the sounds coming out of your mouth, the loved how your tits bounced up and down from each thrust. But he loved how you clenched around him more. Fuck, he wasn’t expecting you to be so tight. You felt so warm and despite not prepping you beforehand, you were so wet. The sounds of your slick folds meeting his cock were sinful. Suddenly, Bakugou snaps his hips into you, making him go deeper inside you. You moaned loudly and threw your head back.

“You like that?” Bakugou’s voice was raspy. You nod your head enthusiastically, almost impatiently.

“I love that,” you respond. “Do it again.” You begged. Bakugou smirks and does it again. He lets his cock be free from your clench before slamming back into you. You moan loudly again and clench around him even tighter.

“Fuck,” he curses, continuing to slam his hips into you.

Your servant girls were nosy, as all servants were. They wanted to know the gossip. The girls were right at your door, ears pressed against the giant wooden frame. They were listening in and giggling to each other. Two masculine figures appeared behind them, clearing their throats intentionally. The mighty soldiers, Kirishima and Denki, made their presence clear. They looked intimidating, arms crossed against their chest to look cool, or at least Denki was. The girls bowed their heads and scurried off. Some of them looked back to see both of them guarding the door to give you two privacy. Denki took notice of some of the girls and gave them a flirty wave. They giggled again before leaving their sight. Denki smirked and tried to give Kirishima fist, but Kiri denied it, smacking his hand away with an eye rolls and shake of the head. Denki shrugs his shoulder and put his hands on his belt.

Bakugou thrusts into you with more force and more power than before, moans are filling the air, both yours and his. You claw at his back trying to get something to grab but you’re just leaving markings on him, which he doesn’t mind. All of a sudden, Bakugou pulls out, panting and clear frustration painted all over his face.

“Fuck, not yet,” he panted, holding his cock in his hands. You didn’t know what he meant by that, but you whimpered at the loss of contact. Wanting to feel something, you grabbed his face and brought him in for a kiss. The prince groans into the kiss, that being his last straw. He pulled out wanting to last longer, but seeing that you were impatient and wanting more, he had to please his princess. He brought your legs around his shoulder and thrusted into you, not giving you time to breath.

“Mhm, ah!” you groaned, separating from the kiss. You felt excitement rapidly grow in your lower region, a feeling so pleasurable you had no idea how to take it.

“Wait, Katsuki. I feel too good,” you warned him in between moans.

“I’m almost there, too,” he said, going faster to chase his high.

“Ah! Fuck, wait! K-Katsuki! AH!” The pleasure was almost too much for you. The feeling was getting larger and larger until you couldn’t take it anymore and just let go. You threw your head back and clenched your eyes so hard you saw stars. Your pussy clenched around his cock so tightly that it was Bakugou’s turn to let go. With one last groan, your walls were coated in a thick, hot, white substance.

You both stood still, able to finally catch your breath. Bakugou leaned down to touch noses with you, his beath on yours. You were so high on cloud nine that you didn’t think before speaking.

“I lo-” you began but quickly realized what you were about to say. You put your hand over your mouth to prevent you from saying those three magical words. Don’t say it, you thought. If you said it, you’d never be able to take it back. Bakugou takes both of your hands and pinned them above your head.

“I love you, too,” he leans down to whisper in your ear. Tears brimmed in your eyes, threatening to spill out. Because you felt so happy. So happy that you didn’t want this dream to end.

A/N: Spoiler alert: enjoy this chapter. Enjoy every chapter so far. All that serotonin you’re feeling? Soak it all up. Because this is the last fluff chapter you will ever get 😊

If you’d like to be added to the tag list, just let me know! And I’d love to know your thoughts, what you think of the series so far and what your expectations are for upcoming chapters! Do you want a happy or sad ending? What angsty scenes are you anticipating? What do you not want to happen?

Don’t forget! My requests are open until May 9th!

1. Send in a request or headcannon of any Boku no Hero or Haikyuu characters

2. I prefer angsty requests! As for headcannons, I'm down with any genre. If you are sending in a request, please be as descriptive as possible! Its hard to write when the topic is so broad!

3. FYI if alot of the requests are the same, I will most likely combine them all or only do one or two of them since I dont want to repeat alot of the same topics. It'll get boring: not only for the reader but for me as well

4. ❌No NSFW! Not experienced enough but I can hint at some sexiness

It would be really cool if you could send in some requests! I’ll be doing all of them to the best of my ability, you won’t be disappointed!

Tagged: @superblyspeedydragon @melasnchz-things @animexholic @bkgwrites @sam-i-am-1025 @apexqueenie @katsukibabe @germfart3 @tspice283 @angie-1306 @bakugous-trauma @bakugousmrs @random-fandom-girl-24 @monetfatalia @triviajeongin @readingslumpfanfic @softredrobin @daddy-daichis @stardream14 @spicysherlock @cathwritestragediesnotsins @luvtaromilktea @aaannaabbanana @i-ameri-cant @shyonigirichan @aomi04 @anime-for-live @maggiecc @cloudsgathering @backoftheletter @moshi-moshi-angie015

[a-froger-epic]

Interview with a Queen “groupie”

Cross-posted to AO3. I encourage you to leave any comments you have there.

---

I compiled this interview following a long email exchange with J, a very sweet lady who went to Ealing Art School between 1972 and 1974. She knew all four members of Queen personally and was part of their larger circle of friends.

First off, you may find this hard to believe. I don’t blame you. But I assure you I’m not pulling your leg. As well as the pictures I share in this post, I have seen current pictures of J (which I will not share to protect her privacy). There is no indication as far as I am aware that she isn’t who she says she is.

Nastally, hold up. How exactly did you find this lady?

She found me. It turns out that she has been following my story Dawn of Aquarius for quite some time. The story is set in 1969. A lot of research about the era went into it, because I wanted to portray that time period - and Freddie’s and Roger’s surroundings - as accurately and realistically as I possibly could. That was what drew J in. She tells me it brought back a lot of memories for her. One of the reasons I love DoA so much is the nostalgia, she says, which genuinely means the world to me. Eventually, she talked to me in the comment section. Of course, I freaked out!

And then, I asked her for an interview, to which she replied: I will give it a go, but you must remember that I am 65 and there were great drugs in the 70s, and at 16, away from home, I had a lot!

And so...

Here’s what is IMPORTANT TO KEEP IN MIND when you read this interview.

These are one woman’s 50-year-old memories and subjective impressions. J has been incredibly kind to let me pick her brain, trying to recall everything as best as she can. In her own words:

Just remember that when I answer the questions, it is from a 16-year-old who is 9 years younger than Freddie and a little girl with no family and friends in a strange country trying to fit in. The only reason I was there, was because some hippie thought I had a unique art style.

---

J as a teenager.

[I have edited the interview together from our long, and somewhat messy at times, email exchange. Typos have been fixed and some punctuation added for clarity, but I have not changed anything J has written to me. Again, bear in mind these are personal opinions and impressions.]

So, J, how did you end up at Ealing Art School in 1972 and what was it like?

This was the painting done for the Australian school-leaving certificate.

It placed first and gave me a scholarship. I could pick France, the USA or England. As a dual citizen of the UK, the choice was easy. The scholarship paid for board and fees, so had to be and sell whatever for spending money.

This picture is from the dorm. We all had a 10pm curfew and a very thick rule book that, I am proud to say, I broke every one of them, one by one. The rooms were on the 1st and 2nd floor. We were on the first floor, rooms one side and admin staff the other end. We had two bathrooms for 18 girls. One of them had two baths. The walls were your standard half wall, so it was a given that if you had a bath you run the risk of having a bucket of cold water dropped on you. Downstairs was the kitchen and lounge room.

I want to ask you a few things about life in London in the early 70s, to get a picture of what it was really like. For example, was there alcohol at the music gigs you went to?

If it was a school, church or community hall, no. If it was a pub, yes.

Did you and your friends drink as much then as young people tend to drink now when you all went out?

No, we didn't. I think it had a lot to do with money. We didn't have the disposable income, and it was unheard of to still be living at home with the parents after the age of 20.

Was weed and LSD as big and easily accessible as depictions of the 60s and 70s would have us believe?

The drugs! Got to have drugs. Pot (weed) was easy to grow, very cheap. Used to smoke it in bongs rather than joints, more bang for your buck. Trips [LSD] were cheap, I think. About 2 pounds and you were on the high for over 24 hours with no sleep. My drug of choice was hash. Either the oil or the block. It was a nice high, but you could not function well. But if you listen to the music of the time it really does reflect what it was like, to have a group of friends over for a session. Having said all that the most outlandish and shocking drug I ever saw anyone use was the birth control pill. Didn't you have to hide that stuff away?!

Can you tell us some 70s slang that isn’t really in use anymore? What in the world does “ultra-blagging” mean? (As written in a letter penned by Freddie to his friend Celine in 1969.)

Abso-bloody-lootely!

Man, I thought I was the bees knees to be on a scholarship in London. But that didn't stop me from jigging or having a skive day. They were the days that I blagged my way into a pub, had too many lagers and ended up chundering in the gutter. That was how you knew your night was ace. I would get a right bollocking if anyone found out. It would be a bugger when all that you could find at a car boot sale was chavtastic, but sometimes you could be Jammy Dodger and tickety-boo you find something brilliant. Bob's your uncle. Anyways, I need to see a man about a dog.

[It seems to me that J uses a bit of Australian slang here, like chundering, which makes sense because she is, after all, Australian. She also provided the translation:]

Cheers

J

It would be my honour.

I felt very privileged to be given a scholarship that let me study in England. But being so young and having no family to guide me, it was often tempting to not turn up or give a false excuse for being sick. (I had a lot of food poisoning). These would often happen if the night before I had been drinking beer and ended up vomiting outside the pub. But in my young mind that was a good night. If any of the teachers found me drinking I would be in a lot of trouble. Often I would have to say I was holding it for someone else. Not having much clothes with me, I would buy them second hand from church jumble sales or other students and, yes, Kensington market (the market). Some of the stuff would not be very tasteful or in good condition. But sometimes you would find something that was cheap and in good condition. I will stop this text now as I must go to the toilet.

PS: Ultrablagging sounds very Freddie. Blagging was used, but not ultra, meaning to persuade someone to do something or act better than you are. They were always rock stars.

Sincerely

J

[It was at this point that I realised I was talking to an absolute legend. She also told me then that the majority of her old photographs had sadly been lost when her house was flooded in 1988, including most of the photographs from her stay in London. Noooo! :(]

When you went out to dance, did you have only live music? Were there DJs yet?

You know, that is hard. We did not have a DJ. Sometimes there would be a band. Often we looked for places with a band or the jukebox. I think pubs closed at 10pm and some stayed open to 12 or 1, but public transport stopped at 9. So if you had not arranged a lift then you had to make the last bus. Most of the time we would be heading back to someone's place to get stoned and then crash there. In the morning you would have to work out where you were. When I got back to Australia, the discos were all the rage. They could have been in London too but it was not cool to like disco.

How many people would show up to Queen’s gigs when they played in pubs or at, for example, the Imperial College?

Depending on the location and the night: 10 to 1000!

So how did you first meet the Queen boys?

I was at the pub talking about a band we saw last week when Brian stuck his head into our booth telling us he knew a better one. Thinking about seeing them at the stall... Roger not often, Freddie quite a lot. Often on different stalls, I think that is why I can't remember the name. [The name of the stall. Other sources confirm that Freddie also worked at Alan Muir’s stall, for example, selling shoes.]

How well did you know them?

Just looking at your tumblr account. [she has had a look at my blog, where somebody asked if ‘groupie’ meant she had slept with the band] No, I never slept with the boys. I would not say I was a close friend, but I started at Ealing Art College in ‘72 and moved in the same circles. I loved the music and could be called one of the first groupies. I had to sneak into the pubs because I was 16. Roger always teased me for being so young. They all did seem to be one very large family, not just the band. It was a group of about twenty regulars, both male and female. Everyone knew that Fred was too gay to function. We were all at the gay rights march in London in 1972, had to run after the march. Lots of sharpies [Australian slang: youth gang, thugs] wanting to bash us. Back then I was in every protest that was going, student union rights, even the secretary protest. Just part of the times, stick it to Man or Woman. I left London in ‘74 for Australia, been here ever since and lost track of the boys but have never stopped being a fan.

What do you remember about them? How would you describe their personalities?

Don’t let the trolls hate me, but I did not like Brian. I found him to be rather full of himself. Space was a subject you never brought up around Brian or you would die of old age before he stopped talking. He was always the first to speak and start a conversation and then quickly passed you off to John, who was always tired and shy. Roger was also quite shy at times. He was very self-conscious of his looks, as he felt being pretty, nobody would take him seriously. Fred, well, he was not yet the big star, so I think he was working on his stage persona. When talking to groups at parties, he had the best stories of things that had happened to him or close friends. They were very funny and very descriptive. He was the life of the party. When he had a few to drink or was the centre of attention, he would take a cigarette out of the closest person’s hand and start smoking. Now remember this is the point of view of a 16-year-old girl that was a fish out of water, trying to fit in and not having much worldly experience.

It is said that Freddie and Roger were very stylish. How did they dress in everyday life?

Fred would do his hair and makeup to check the mail. Yes, he was always turned out, but so were a lot of people. Freddie did go over the top with hats, scarfs and jewellery. With Roger, it is a surprise he was able to have kids his jeans were that tight. And his shirts were always open unless he was in a jumper. I think it could have been so that you knew he was male, as it was the start of the unisex clothing. When I travelled out of London I realised it was a London thing. When I got back to Australia everyone thought I was a show-off.

There are some disagreements about how tall especially Freddie was. I know this is a difficult thing to try and remember accurately. But do you remember?

Freddie was taller than me but everyone was. Roger was shorter than Fred, but I never saw Roger in platform shoes. I did meet up with the band by chance at Sydney airport in 1984, said ‘hello’ but they did not remember me, or if they did then they did not say anything and I did not want to be a dork. At that time Fred was the same height as me (5ft 8in/1.72m), Roger was taller than me. It made me think at the time that he had a growth spurt! John was shorter than me and Brian has always been tall. [I have a feeling the platform shoes - or lack thereof - played a vital role here! Although 172cm for Freddie seems likely.]

You said everyone knew Freddie was “too gay to function”. Attitudes towards homosexuality have changed so much that it can be hard for us, now, to fathom what exactly people must have thought of him. Was it more of a joke that he was so camp? Was it something he would have been teased for? Also, he had a girlfriend. Did you ever meet Mary or the other girlfriends?

In 1972 a whole group of us - and I am pretty sure that Fred, Roger, Brian and Tim were there - were in a gay pride march. [Since then, J has found and showed me a picture of a boy she thought was Tim Staffel, and it wasn't, so Tim was most definitely not there. Whether Freddie, Roger and Brian really were there or if J is misremembering, who knows?] Us youth believed you could not choose who you fell in love with and if it was same sex, so what? However, if it was two girls then it was every guy’s duty to change her!

It was also a time that the gayer the guy was, the more the girls were interested. Also, if a guy was gay then you did not have to worry about him and he was a good person to take with you if you were going out drinking. However, the police, parents, teachers and anyone of authority were horrified and treated them badly. I did meet Mary a couple of times at pubs and once after a gig. This is just my opinion, but I found her a bitch. It could be that I was so young. It could be that I was very Australian. It could be that she felt threatened as my accent was a magnet to people around. And the boys (Queen) were no exception. Brian had a cousin in OZ and was always asking questions. I remember that my close group of friends thought that Mary made the perfect girlfriend for Fred as they were as fake as each other. Having said that about them, I often wonder if I would think the same now and if my perceptions were just because she would not give me the time of Day. Chrissy and Jo were a lot of fun.

This was before your time, but I read that Freddie's nickname at Ealing Art School was ‘Freddie Baby’. Any ideas how this came about? His showmanship or maybe personality traits?

I don't think so. There were an older crowd that would talk like that. I think the slang ‘baby’ was a 60’s thing, like groovy baby.

How long, roughly, did Roger and Freddie have their stall? I can't find anywhere when it closed down. What did it actually look like? Was it a sort of wooden stall type of thing? Or an actual room? What were some of the other things people sold at Kensington Market? Mostly clothes or all sorts?

The markets were little divided shops. The back was brick and the walls wood. I have been trying all day to remember the name. [Of the stall.] I think it was something hard to say. More often than not it would be Freddie's dad in the store. It was still open when I left. Roger and Freddie were both in the store on Saturdays and some Sundays. There was a girl, I think Jill, who was in the store more. And during the week it could be anyone. You name it and you could get it at the markets. Second hand or designer clothes, shoes, jewellery, pot and assortments. Hair cuts, food, bric-a-brac.

Wait, wait. What? Freddie’s dad? Really now?

Yeah, it was an older Indian man. so we just assumed it was his father. It was my understanding that he started the stall then the boys would work it as the whole markets were set up for younger people, but if needed he would work there. I don't think the boys would be able to pay the rent on their own. [I have since found out that the stall closed in late 1971, and Freddie continued to work at the Market until '74, for Alan Mair and possibly others. So the stall J witnessed wasn't their original stall - explaining all the different people she saw there - but she had no way of knowing that it wasn't.] They always had incense burning that was very big in the 70s. I still occasionally bring out the sticks, but it does not last like the candles and diffusers of today. If you could get in touch with Robert Daniels, he ran ChaChaDumDum it was the stall across from Freddie. He would know the dates.

[J says it’s this look, in a picture she happened across while looking at my tumblr] Yep, that is the one. It usually means that he does not believe or agree with something that was said and is working out how to respond, or he has lost the plot.

You mentioned Roger seemed shy to you at times. Was he also quite charming? We read a lot about what a chick magnet he was. Was this the impression you had?

My favorite subject! I had a thing for Roger. Everyone has a type and mine is the blue-eyed blond. Now, before you ask, was he brunet? No, he was a mouse/dirty blond. If it was summer he would have blond streaks mostly at the ends. He knew he was pretty and was always dressed in the latest fashion and had the current hairstyle. So, being my type I was constantly watching him. Everyone slept around during that time. I did not notice Roger doing it more or less. 80% of the time he was with Jo. Yes, he was a chick magnet, but he did not do the chasing. He was always very polite to everyone. If it ever looked like there would be any conflict he would be the first to leave it. It was not that he was a coward, just not into conflict. If he saw anyone that needed help he was right there, and often had to have Freddie's back. I never saw him in a fight. He could always talk his way out of things. He was also very patient and would listen for hours to other people talk. However, he would get this vacant look in his eyes at times.

And Freddie would either click his fingers, change the subject or just give up. I don’t think that Brian noticed, and it would be fair game for John, he would see how far he could push it. Roger liked to drink a fair bit and when drunk he would be hanging all over Jo. If she was not there then he missed Jo. If, however, he thought that he or his friends were not being respected, then look out! It was a verbal volcano heading your way. That is what happened to me one time. I was trying to talk with my friends close to where a drunken Roger was and I yelled at him to shut the hell up, you wannabe blond. We/I coped a mouthful back, all in the same sentence, that finished with: Sorry, I didn't realise you were on your rags (period)! I have to have the last word, so I told him the truth: I don’t get them yet! (I was a late starter.) He went so red in the face and called me JB [jail bait] from then.

You also mentioned Roger’s cat Ziggy having kittens. I read about this but never when exactly it was. Do you remember?

I think it was winter ‘73. I remember being cold when he was asking around the pub. [To find homes for the kittens, I gather.]

Is it quite strange reading fictional interpretations of real people you knew? When did you first find out there was Queen fanfic?

No, we used to make up stories about people all the time, a verbal fanfic. Was looking up Adam Lambert and came across the fanfics. Some had me in stitches! Others, like DoA, had me hooked.

Please, allow me to be a little self-indulgent at the end. What's one thing I got totally RIGHT in DoA?

All the Ibex stuff.

What's one thing I got totally WRONG in DoA?

Roger did not have a temper, and I don’t know what the go with his father was, but he would talk about him quite a bit and was always visiting his mum. [Absolutely fair, not only did I change the timeline of Roger’s parents divorce in DoA - for lack of information at the time - but also created a completely fictional narrative around it for the sake of storytelling.]

J, thank you so much for all this, sincerely. Can you tell me a little more about yourself? Are you still an artist?

I don't paint or draw any more. At the age of a 50 the doctors operated on an aneurysm or three, and now my eyesight is very bad, I have no fine motor skills and a tremor. I was married in January 1984 and have just celebrated our 37 year anniversary. I have one daughter who is 30 and two great, although tiring grandkids. A girl, 11, and one boy, 5. I have lived my life as the average middle class Australian with great memories. Talking with you has helped me a lot to remember a time when the world was mine for the taking. When I returned to OZ I started nursing, met my best friend, and we planned that once we graduated we would go back to London to study midwifery. But I fell in love instead.

J's wedding in 1984. As you can see, she found her own blue-eyed blond.

---

Upon request, J has shared some of her past and present artwork with me.

These are from her time at Ealing Art School:

These were done later, back in Australia:

J: Did this just before Christmas as you had inspired me. It did not require fine motor skills!

So there you have it! I hope you found this little glimpse through a 16-year-old girl’s eyes as much of a fascinating read as I did. I urge everybody one more time to remember that J did not have to share any of this, and I think we all owe her a big thank you for delving into her memories. She is likely to see the responses on AO3, so I have comment moderation enabled there as I will not let anybody harass this lovely lady. The tumblr she created is @since72, but she isn’t really an active user and also very new to it all. Again, I can only urge everybody to be respectful.

If you have other burning question for J, feel free to leave them in the comments on AO3. I will either pass them on, or she may want to reply to them herself directly.

[bakugohoex]

todoroki and reader bonding over ✨trauma ✨

”i want to talk about it now”

pairing: shoto todoroki x female reader

cw: trauma (absent father, domestic violence and todoroki’s shit upbringing) and angst

word count: 1000+

a/n: i dont even know how to explain this, it literally is just talking about trauma and like i’ll make sure to add what the trauma is in the cw

summary:  in which at the sports festival, you finally talk to the boy in your class who seemed to always keep to himself, you both unveil your own trauma that you went through

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

Radio fucking silence between you two.

Literally you both have never spoken inyour entire your lives, even after these months of knowing him.

It was just blank stares; it didn’t help that you two were never even partnered up.

The boy seemed interested in you and your quirk but had never gotten to ask you about it.

Because it’d be so fucking awkward.

You were either too talkative or too quiet and he never knew the best moment to talk to you. 

You were intrigued with his father being Endevour having heard all the well horrific stories.

Both getting the chance to finally talk to one another after his fight with Bakugo.

Poor baby, the medal around his neck indicating second place, he didn’t know how to feel about the events with Bakugo.

His family coming up in his memories.

That’s where you came in, being the amazing girl you were you stopped him to talk.

You knew the signs he had been displaying whilst in the fight and needed to talk to him about it. 

“Todoroki, wait.” You had been out of breath running to where the contestants were coming out of.

“Oh, hi Y/n.” He didn’t know what else to say, his eyes were tired, and he kept going over the thoughts of his father.

You caught your breath, giving a small smile to the boy, “you did really well out there.”

“Thank you.” He was about to walk away before you grabbed his wrist, holding him in place.

“Can we talk, privately?” He tilted his head in confusion but nodded making you follow him to where the waiting room had been.

You sat in front of him, you looked at his confused face before speaking, “are you…okay?” It wasn’t how you had meant to start the conversation off, but it’s how it began.

“I’m fine, are you okay?” He spoke with the same uncertainty you had.

“I’m going to be straight with you.” You paused before taking a sharp breath, “why didn’t you fight with your dad’s side of your quirk?”

“Y/n, I don’t owe you an explina…”

Interrupting him your grabbed his hands that had been fidgeting on the table, he saw your movement making his trail off. Staring at your hands against his, “I know why, I’ve been in your position and I just want to say that if you ever want to talk about that kind of stuff I’m here. I saw the way you looked, the hatred you had for that side of your quirk and I understood it in an instant.”

“Y/n…” He didn’t know what to say, he had only known you as the confident yet reclusive girl, your past hadn’t been exposed to anybody. But he had always thought your life was boring and uneventful and that was why you never brought it up.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said all of that.” You let go of his hands ready to walk away from the situation, he notices the rip in the side of your shirt that he hadn’t seen before.

“Did you get that from the fight?” Nodding seeing the gash across your side you touched it making it disappear.

“If you hadn’t had had Tokoyami your first round you probably would’ve won.” He confessed being aware of your quirk, it was true, however.

Dark shadow wasn’t real, and you weren’t able to touch it allowing your quirk to not activate, the shadow having protected Tokoyami, you had lost when you had been pushed back by your side. If you had just touched the boy than you could’ve broken his bones but here you were defeat.

“I guess.” It was a mutter, and you were ready to leave again.

“Wait.” Todoroki called standing up, his arm out to stop you, you had turned to face him again, his hand just touching your own arm. “I want to talk about it now.”

He had spoken clearly but still seemed reclusive but you knew that the issues that both of you had regarded your parents was iffy. You nodded, moving back to the table and he began to explain everything that had occurred to him from the scar on his face to the death of his older brother. It had all come out in an instant and you had moved to sit beside him, holding onto his shoulder and bringing him closer.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Todoroki.” It was a whisper as your hand had started to move through his hair.

It felt like comfort and you began your own story, the torture of your absent father and overworked mother. The way he would come in and out of your life making you trust him each time, saying it’d be better this time and then leaving without a word. The violence between your parents, the sobs of your mother, it had all come out and this time Todoroki was comforting you. Wiping the stray tears and holding you tighter, it was practically a comfort session where you confessed how you thought getting into UA would make him stay but he had left as soon as he came.

The boy of you stayed in each other’s arms in comfort, it was new to finally have it all out. The way his eyes and face had looked fighting Bakugo, it was face you had seen on yourself and you could see the hesitance in using his quirk. Even you had hesitated using your quirk, your healing ability from your mother and ability to break bones and organs from your father. It was how you knew the hatred he felt for the fire quirk, you had hated your fathers quirk for so long but had grown to see use from it.

Todoroki looked softly at you, even with this being your first proper one to one talk, he had confessed so much to the girl he had been intrigued by. He had thought so highly of you, how you probably lived an amazing life with how you smiled every morning, he had imagined your parents happily eating breakfast with you. But here you were in his arms hurt and alone and all he knew now was that he would protect you from them, protect you from ever getting hurt again. 

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alainarose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world @chrrylevi @ukaisgratefulwhore @answer-the-sirens @animexholic

[alexs-ummers]

what once was / pt. 1

Pairing: Starts Steve Rogers/Reader ends with Bucky Barnes/Reader

Summary of Part 1: Steve’s and your relationship after “the blip”. The ways in which you find solace in one another. Maybe it was never enough.

like post endgame and beginning of falcon and winter soldier

Words: 1628

Warnings: angst, small make-out.

Notes: i dont remember endgame 1000% clearly but i think its good? be prepared for the upcoming angst i aint done. im tryna get into Bucky in tfatws

The past five years have been tough on Steve and you. Steve blamed himself for the most part; he always did for anything that went wrong. You missed your friends. After a while the world had to go on. There was still half a world of people that needed people like Steve and you. You still needed each other. That pain, that hurt, blossomed into a sort of love. That’s what you referred to it as in your head. But you’re sure for Steve it was merely out of convenience.

That was too harsh. Steve loved you. The team had been through so much together and you had stood beside Steve for all of it even when you thought he was in the wrong. You did it because you trusted his judgement. He was a righteous and kind man through everything. And Steve always did what he believed was right. You had always admired him for that. But Steve loved everyone on his team, that included you. He did love you in a different way, maybe in the same way he loved Bucky and Sam; but never in the way he loved Peggy.

Steve would make love to you when you needed it, he’d kiss away your tears when everything was too much, he’d provide you with as much normalcy as he could. He’d tell you stories about Bucky and him. He’d tell you how beautiful you looked when you woke up. You’d cook him breakfast in the morning. And for five fucking years, it felt like Steve was yours. You had dreamed of it for so long. When everything else was taken from you two, it had to be the one good thing.

And then the words were uttered. If it wasn’t for those words, maybe everything to come wouldn't have hurt so much.

Those words, you never saw them coming. You reminded yourself often what this was, what you were to each other: a comfort. Your heart couldn’t handle losing another.

It was a late night. The wine had probably gotten to you, no, it had definitely had gotten to you. The sound of your laughter echoed across your apartment walls. Steve had been telling a story about Bucky and him.

“And he’d always try and set me up, you know? I think it was more for him than me.” He had that longing look on his face, but it had been so many years, the memory warmed Steve’s heart. A ghost of laughter. It put that sweet look in his eyes, the one that looked like he had never seen hurt before. “And then I met Peggy…” He trails off, sighing almost longingly. You never minded. Peggy was his first love. It gave Steve peace to reminisce and who would you be to him if you denied him that?

A look similar to Steve’s was adorning your face. You hadn’t ever known Peggy obviously, but you knew Bucky. He was a lot more stoic than how Steve described him in the 40s. The stories made you feel like you were there. An almost escape to the world you lived in now. “I always love these stories. You look so… happy when you tell them.” You bring a hand up to tenderly touch his cheek, wine glass in the other. Your head is leant against the top cushion of the couch as you admire him. It would never get old; having Steve look at you this way.

“Telling you the stories makes me happy.” Steve returns your smile, leaning into your touch like he always did. Steve came to love your presence. You were soft and gentle when everything else wasn’t. There were other sides to you: the side of you in battle, in grief, in bed. But these late nights, it was soft. You were always what he needed at any moment, molding to nearly fit his needs. It was like a superpower.

The two of you share a moment, eyes not leaving one another. All this time, it didn’t get old. Your relationship grew slowly. It hadn’t always been like this, but you had always been each other's rocks. Maybe a year in, that’s when it turned different. It had longing looks when you forced each other out of the house and then another year in it was laying in each other's beds when the nights were too dark. Another few months after that it was every night you find solace in each other’s bodies, in whispers and breathless moans. Shortly after that it was breakfast, laughing, reminiscing, and what felt like healing. As much healing you could do without the people that mattered most. As much healing you could do with that hopeless feeling still in your chest.

There’s that moment and then there’s the kiss. When Steve can’t hold himself back anymore. He’s gathering your face up in his hands, feelings and words unsaid bleeding into the kiss. It would knock you off your feet every time if you weren’t sitting. It’s always returned, always just as passionate. There’s probably more you’d say to Steve than he would you, but it doesn’t matter. You try to brush those things off. He pulls away to look at you, catching his breath. He always felt like he got carried away with you, that he’d let himself drown within you given the chance. If he was a weaker man.

“Y/N… I-” He stops himself, taking the glass from your hands and setting it on the coffee table. Steve didn’t want to ruin a good night: one filled with laughter, sneaky touches, those looks of yours. He goes back in.

There was nothing like Steve in the world even before the blip. This you knew. Your hands wander over his chest, through his growing hair, and it doesn’t take you long to straddle his hips.

This was the other side Steve was talking about. It wasn’t always the same, but every night he’d figure it out. He’d draw it out of you. He begins the process, hands trailing along the exposed skin of your body, lips working their magic on you. The kiss was deepened by him, his tongue drawing the noises out of you. Steve grew to know all your secrets, all the things that would make you shiver against him. You had so much time with one another, it was bound to happen. He’s sure you knew all his tells, all the ways to make Steve Rogers unravel.

Steve got lost in you often. Nights were long and the two of you never got bored of each other. Steve got lost in you, but tonight was different. His thoughts were faster than usual, he couldn’t focus his actions as much as he wanted to. Steve craved to whisper the words he held onto for so long. He was so unsure of them at other times, unsure if they were meant in the way you wanted. But Steve was lost in you. His thoughts were no exception. He halts his actions, pulling away to breathe. Forehead rested against your own as you bask in each other’s presence.

These moments, sometimes they’d slow down, cherish every second. Steve was a purposeful lover. Except this time, it’s not because he wants to take it slow.

He nearly bursts it out, the words he always meant for another lover, but here you were, the one person that provided him comfort when no one else could. The person who listened to his boring stories. The one who watched him cry at night, would cradle his head in their lap, against their chest, cry with him and hold him. And Steve is so very lost and he’s not sure when he’ll be found by another. But he’s found by you.

“I love you, Y/N.” Steve whispers against your lips, the words ghosting around you.

It catches you off guard and you pull away to look at the look on his face. He’s serious and there’s that look in his eyes, but this one is different and you haven’t seen it before. It puts that hope back in your chest. It was a dangerous thing, that hope. It was always, always snatched away.

“I love you, Steve.” Every ounce of your being is poured into the words and the kiss to follow.

The hope grew and grew it seems from that day forward. Through Steve, through Natasha, and finding Tony. To restore the people that were once lost.

Those words, the confession. You always think maybe if Steve never said them it wouldn’t have hurt as much, but you know that’s a lie. And you don’t know if you can ever blame him for them. You were just as lost. Maybe there was no one to blame.

But it was always snatched, always. Everything chipped away at it, the deaths of your friends, the death of mentors. But you had Steve. You always had Steve. Yet the moment Steve was sent back in time to fix things, after everything he had done, you knew. You always knew. The hope would be lost for good. The hope Steve had planted within your chest. Perhaps it was a second too long he went back that you realized.

And there he was, full of love for another. And again, you didn’t blame him. You couldn’t because he had that look in his eyes. Like he had a story he didn’t know where to begin. Peggy and Steve belonged together. You were a comfort in the darkness and he was yours.

It never hurt any less.

Maybe the only one who really understood was Bucky. Perhaps he felt that same twinge in his heart. And after Steve’s death, you felt you were left with no one. Bucky and you shared that pain, little by little.

[meetmeatthecoda]

I absolutely ♥️ADORE♥️ Scripted and would love to read your director’s commentary for it!

Oh, anon!! 😍 I'm SO THRILLED that you loved Scripted so much, that makes me so happy!! 🥰 Especially that you loved it enough to want to read my "director's commentary" (that phrase makes me laugh, you'd think I created a feature length film all by myself 🤣), so I think I'll skim through the fic - it's been a while since I re-read it - & make a bullet-point list of any special BTS info I can think of 😊 Anddd I'll also put it under a read more cause you know me, I never use one word when one hundred will do 😂

So, the fic itself was inspired by the ending of 5.08 where Liz wakes from her coma to Red reading to her in an armchair as he had been for the past 10 months, it's fine, I'm fine but she still has a ventilator in so she can't talk & instead has to write "how long?" on a piece of paper & her handwriting is super shake-y bc her muscles are so weak (I think Red even helps her hold the pen? It's clearly been a while since I re-watched the ep whoops but ugh, be still my heart.) For some reason, I just latched onto the idea of a mute Liz, really suffering with the implications of everything she went through (since her recovery was so glossed over in the show boo) & Red 1000% being there for her. Mostly, I just wanted to dive into the dynamic of Liz letting Red care for her the way he's always wanted to (without Tom & Agnes btw) to the point where their relationship is unhealthy in its reliance, but neither can see it bc Liz is blocking things out (& unknowingly falling in love with him) & Red is just so thrilled to be able to love & care for her (while already deeply in love with her obvi). So yeah, that was the kind of dynamic & closeness I wanted to explore between them & it was... really fun 😊

The idea of the coma providing the perspective Liz needed to see that Red has always had her best interests at heart & clearly loves her (in addition to the fact that he never left her side or gave up during those 10 months lol peak romance tbh) seemed very organic & logical to me.

I liked the idea of Red & Liz playing board games as a way to pass the time & get to know each other better. It's the kind of casual interaction we were never gifted with in the show & I think they're both competitive in the right circumstances, even if its playfully so.

I liked the idea of Liz being urged to learn ASL, as I'm deaf in one ear & would dearly love to learn it at some point.

The detail of Red sleeping on a cot close enough to Liz's hospital bed that they can hold hands in their sleep was a total guilty pleasure addition & I'm not sorry.

I loved the scene in the beginning where Red is talking to Dembe on the phone in the hallway & Liz is practicing her letters. She's purely doing it so Red doesn't worry & I loved the idea of her being apathetic to everything except Red's concerns, plus I added in the parenthetical of (Red sometimes squints at her k's.) bc I thought it represented that well, but also bc it was just cute af. I also added the little detail of him waving at her through the window at the last minute bc I thought the scene needed something else & once I pictured that, it was too adorable to leave out.

Red handling all the details of Liz's care & transportation without asking (bc he instinctively knew that's what Liz wanted) only to turn around & panic about excluding her seemed like a very RED thing to do & I like how it emphasizes his well-meaning intentions, respect for her preferences, & desire to see her happy, even if she did actually want to leave him lol as if.

I liked the visual of Liz stumbling into Red's arms as she stands from her hospital bed to leave with him (sets a precedent for later) & I also loved the visual of a pen in her ponytail & of course Red using it to flirt a little bc come on.

I remember struggling to write the car ride transition to the lake house. I usually get ideas & visions for specific scenes, moments, or bits of dialogue, so those kind of transition moments are hard for me sometimes. But I liked that I settled on Red helping to ground Liz through touch (again, sets a precedent for later).

Red & Liz playing hangman in the car with Red using the word "fedora" & drawing a suited hangman made me giggle.

I can see the lake house very clearly in my mind, complete with the willow tree, bench, & tiny house (included bc I desperately want a tiny house in real life) & I really enjoyed describing the interior & imagining the joy Red would get out of decorating it with Liz in mind.

Their first night in the house where Liz has her nightmare & Red comforts her - that was a scene I had in mind very early on & I love how it turned out, especially with Liz mouthing "stay with me" into Red's neck, that part gave me All The Feels™.

The "morning after" scene where Liz realizes on some level that she's too dependent on Red is an important moment in the fic & the off-hand detail that at least "she's not going around murdering people & calling it therapy" was a bit of shade to Ruin (which I don't think I ever saw bc I was kind of appalled with the idea lol) I think I posted Scripted after Ruin aired... if not, I guess I'm psychic?? LOL

The breakfast scene - & the fact that Red is preparing every breakfast food known to man bc he's nervous too - is near & dear to my heart. I think that's a pretty pivotal scene since they kind of reach an unspoken agreement & peace &... "things settle after that first breakfast."

I liked the teeny little parenthetical section that comes next as well, which acts as a sort of middle point for the fic.

The next large chunk of the fic was pure indulgence for me. I LOVED writing about all the different things they would do together when it was just the two of them, it was basically a collection of Lizzington headcanons & that's how I sketched them out LOL Here's some notes on them:

I came up with the jigsaw puzzle headcanon (that Liz is bored by them bc they're easy for her bc she's a trained psychologist & easily sees patterns in things) late in the editing process but loved it so much that I included it.

Liz's sandwich preference is actually mine LOL

The Monopoly banter was fun af to write bc I love that game.

The love notes Liz leaves around the house for Red is still an all-time favorite headcanon of mine.

I loved the idea of Red reading to Liz in a foreign language, holding the book only for looks, but not actually reading from it at all & instead professing his love for her. I think I've even used that headcanon in another fic LOL

Their movie nights were also something I was dying to include, especially since they include snacks & cuddles.

Their co-sleeping habits were also something I wanted to include & Liz's newly tactile nature is both a symptom of her dependence on Red & also a guilty pleasure thing for me bc we all wanted more of Red & Liz touching on screen, plus I felt obligated to explain through Red that it wasn't sexual in nature (though if I ever get around to writing part 2, that will change 😉)

Dembe being the one to observe & interfere in their situation was an early scene I imagined as well, that was always going to be the climax of the fic (or at least part 1). I so enjoyed writing about Red & Liz's relationship through his eyes bc he just loves them both & only wants to help them.

Another pivotal scene I imagined early on was Liz having a panic attack with Dembe when she discovers Red has left & that was super engaging to write, as well as the reunion between them which... I pretty much wrote the whole fic with the goal of getting to that lovely angst LOL

Red's resolve to finally urge Liz to speak was heart-breaking to write (so naturally I loved it lol what's wrong with me) & in particular the detail of them eating fruit for lunch before he broaches the topic with her & the parenthetical about it being "a sign from the cosmos that they are meant to be together just because they don't eat each other's favorite fruit" made my heart happy even tho it's stupid LOL & when Red asks her if she would ever try to speak again & she responds with a simple written "Why?" that was a huge moment that I loved the angst of, of course. As well as the absolutely gutting: "Lizzie, I miss your voice."

I liked that Liz needs some time to think & accept everything Red forces her to realize at the end, that was super important to me in the resolution of the fic/part 1 & I tried really hard to include both their mentalities there at the end.

The fact that Red hasn't had a drink since he started caring for Liz also made my shipping heart happy.

And - lastly - the fact that the only thing Liz actually says in the whole fic is Red's name? Yeah 🥲🥲🥲

Welp, there you go, anon, I'm not sure if that was interesting to you at all, but I certainly hope so!! I know that was a lot but... it's a long fic, my longest ever, so I figure it's warranted, right?? 😂 Anyway, thank you so much, both for the compliment of loving Scripted AND for wanting to read more about it, anon, you are so sweet!! 🥰 I hope you enjoyed this & much, much love to you, my friend!! ❤️

Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut

[ezzydean]

happy graduation, tobio

so just over 6 years ago i reblogged this post and then saved it in my drafts because it just spoke to me.  i have had these lines in my head for almost 6 years. and now i have finally written a thing for it.

it’s only 1000 words but they are 1000 words that have been sitting in my head and my heart for over 6 years, just like this fandom has.

love you all so, so very much.

the only downside to making words happen for this is that i can no longer tell @notsuchasecret that i’ve been thinking about this post as a threat the way i have been doing to them for at least somewhere around 2 years now

Tobio sits against the wall outside the gym, chin propped on the volleyball he’s hugging to his chest as he stares at not much of anything as he waits for his parents to finish whatever they’re doing on the other side of the school so they can all go home.

“Happy graduation, Tobio,” he mouths, voice not even making it past his lips.

He had heard it from his teachers, their voices neutral and bland and like he was just one in a long line of kids they’ll have forgotten by the time the sun sets tonight.  Like there was nothing memorable about him at all.

He had heard it from his coaches, their voices choppy and unsure and like they were just happy that he was going to go be someone else’s problem soon.  Like they couldn’t wait to be rid of him.

He had heard it from his classmates, their voices distant and distracted and like they were saying it just because they knew they had to and it was the polite thing to do.  Like they didn’t care if he even heard them or responded to them.

He had heard it from his teammates, their voices mocking and harsh and like they were glad to be rid of him once and for all.  Like they wouldn’t be all that upset if they found out he moved across the world or quit playing for good.

He might have heard the words from a hundred people today but none of them mattered.  None of them cared.

He might have spent the day surrounded by people but really he feels like he spent his last day of middle school completely and utterly alone.

—

Tobio sits against the wall outside the gym, head tilted back and fingers idly tapping the volleyball resting in his lap, as he stares up at the clouds drifting by high in the sky.  His parents are still talking to Coach Ukai and Miwa has been cornered by Kei’s older brother — or maybe it’s the other way around he’s not entirely sure he knows or wants to know — and he’s not sure if he’s ready to go home quite yet.

“Happy graduation, Tobio,” a voice says and he blinks a few times as he drags his mind from the clouds.  Hitoka smiles down at him and he does his best to smile back.  He’s still not the greatest at it, even after three years of practicing nearly every day thanks to the team, but it does the trick because she giggles and sits down next to him without even needing to ask.

“Happy graduation, Hitoka,” he finally manages to reply when he remembers he’s supposed to.

He’s heard the phrase so many times today that he’s lost count of them all.  From teachers, from classmates, from teammates, from his coach.  So many people and each one had genuinely seemed to mean it.

He’s said the phrase himself, mostly in reply when he’s heard it directed at him, and has been surprised that he’s meant it too.  He’s happy that his fellow third years are graduating, that he’s graduating with them.  He’s happy to be here, to be surrounded by so many people.

“Happy graduation, Tobio,” Takeda had said that morning when he spotted Tobio.  It was a little premature, he explained, but he wasn’t sure when he’d be able to see Tobio that day and he wanted to make sure to tell him.

“Happy graduation, Tobio,” Tadashi had said when he spotted Kageyama on his way to his first class that morning.  He had wound up saying it three other times to Tobio because he was just that happy they were all graduating.  Tobio had said it back every time.

“Happy graduation, Tobio,” his parents had said when they saw him before the mini-celebration the team had decided to throw after school in the gym.  His mother had almost seemed surprised when he pulled her into a hug but his father had smiled at the sight of them.

“Happy graduation, Tobio,” Coach Ukai had said when Tobio had stopped in to return the spare set of gym keys he had found in the bottom of his gym bag when he cleaned it out the night before.  Coach had thanked him for the keys and reminded him he was welcome to stop back any time he wanted, but not too often he had added with a laugh.

“Happy graduation, Tobio,” various classmates had said when they passed him in the hallways and sat next to him in class.  He made sure to reply to every one of them and was happy when he realized he remembered the name of every person he said it to.

“Happy graduation, Tobio,” Kei had said after the ceremony.  “Happy graduation, Kei,” Tobio had replied.  “Thank you.  For everything.”  Kei had given him a long look that once upon a time would have pissed him off to no end before he huffed quietly, almost a laugh, and said, “You too,” so softly Tobio almost hadn’t heard him.

“Happy graduation, Tobio,” Shouyou had shouted the moment he stepped into the gym after the ceremony, just before the mini-celebration started.  Not to be outdone Tobio had shouted it too and then they kept shouting it back and forth until Tadashi broke them up with a laugh.

Tobio sits against the wall outside the gym, Hitoka’s small frame warm against his side, volleyball in his lap, and watches Kei argue with Shouyou while Tadashi grins at them and shakes his head, his eyes darting to Hitoka and Tobio every now and then.  He spent his last day of high school surrounded by people he was going to miss, people who would miss him.  He’s barely had a moment of peace today and it’s been amazing perfect.

And now he’s ending his last day of high school surrounded by some of his favorite people.

“Happy graduation, Tobio,” he says to himself, voice clear and proud.

[still-snowing]

#showyourprocess

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

thanks @huigusu for tagging me and explaining your incredible magical gifmaking skills ✨ since i was tagged for the hands through the years piece..uhhh..buckle in cause this is going to be long

Planning

I have to say, i’m very glad i got tagged for this one since now i get to show you my absolutely deranged writing process, so! i started thinking about this as a companion to the first piece, exploring the same concept but through lwj’s perspective. i wrote that one in like two minutes and it was basically fine straight away, but i cannot express how hard it was for me to write this one; at one point i was literally saying sentences out loud trying to hear if they sounded right (which was also probably due to the fact that i was writing my dissertation in an entirely different language at the same time and was v sleep deprived and words just lost all meaning). so what i did was write delirious explorations on my phone notes app and i’m going to subject you to the screenshots right now:

on the left, you can see an early draft of the text, with the art described under every line; I decided to split the piece in three parts, with each one having four beats/illustrations; the first part is wwx’s first life, the middle one their parting and reunion, and the last one their second life together. on the right, you can see me hallucinating characterizations and plot points to try and figure out what lwj was thinking and feeling (for a character I relate to I have a damn hard time trying to write in his voice). I’m not sure anything in there makes sense, but it’s part of the work so it’s going in here.

Sketching

I’m not posting the process for every page or this is going to get even longer, so here’s the very first sketch and very first version of the text for the first page, in my chicken scratch handwriting:

what’s written on this? hell if i know.

Drawing

and these are the (mostly) final versions of the sketches with the text already in its final form (I edited a lot of it while writing it down in the document, yes my process for this piece was absolutely chaotic). I took a lot of references from the show for the moments lwj thinks about in wwx’s first life, because well, the show is beautiful and I like mixing canons together until I’m desperately confused 💫 I also feel like the show has a lot more material in regard to the flashback portion of the story and the growth of their relationship, while the novel is a bit more one sided since the pov is very limited and wwx doesn’t really think about lwj that way until he comes back - which I like a lot but I felt like the show canon fit my purpose better).

And here is the finished lineart!!! In the version i posted i added a paper like texture because idk apparently I was very into textured paper at that point in time? but I like this version much better now, I feel like it looks more delicate. This one also doesn’t have the red robes at the end, which I debated keeping or not - I feel like you can understand it’s their wedding even without the red; but I’m glad I kept them in the final version since I saw people in the tags seemed to like them ❤️ plus I’m obviously a sucker for a black/white/red color scheme.

Posting

I sat on this thing for like a week oh my god, I didn’t like it as much as the first one and kept trying to find what was wrong with it, but in the end I realized I was going to go mad if I didn’t post it. I posted it at like 2am in a daze and went to bed and i vividly remember waking up the morning after, seeing 1000+ notes on my tumblr app and thinking oh my god what did I do

so yeah this piece has had probably the most chaotic process of any of my art to date

Tagging

I’ll tag people here as soon as I can get on the desktop app!! I’ve been very sick and unproductive today so I wanted to get this posted at least~

[tsurangaconundrum]

Its so good to be back where people are obsessive and weird! Im like. Ahh!! Christmas kinda sucks. Get these people out of my house!!! Its cold. There are no bugs. I DID see a possum chillin on my fence like twice that was rad. I got hissing cockroaches (4 of them) and hopefully more soon and i decided to do the most hilarious thing in the world. Im naming all of them after girls in my sisters sorority and seeing how long it takes her to notice (assuming she eventually does). Its funny because i dont like her and she would be pissed if she knew. No new dead birds.

Other than complaining about my inability to mimic human conversation i got nothin else. How are you???

DBA!!!!! hello!!!!! okay the rest of ur asks under the cut then my answer <3 hi <3 lovely to hear from u!! sorry this is a late response!!!

i think naming hissing roaches after your sister’s sorority sisters is so fucking funny. youre such a real one for that. i am also a christmas hater. kudos on having good taste. possums r so real i saw a few raccoons the other day and was unbelievably excited. sorry about your lack of dead birds :/ 

i do remember opening this ask and being like whats the specific nonsense i was posting abt at the time and realizing you meant when i just sort of threw the lyrics of such great heights by the postal service into a post and was like this is dean and cas anyway yeah. very much yeah i will just say nonsense. i love it. im so glad you enjoy it to. its such a treat to say words and pretend they mean anything. i'll tell you something else too. the trick to doing it in real life is to be very confidence and throw a you know? onto the end and everyone in the conversation will simply have to accept it.

as for the .... just grabbing a girls face. im obsessed with you dba. thats okay first off so cascoded icon king etc. secondly genuinely very brave and blunt and worthy of respect. you reached out and touched. youre in this world and you make it look at you. im so glad for you. giving the charm bracelets again. im gonna say it cascoded. also requires boldness and kindness and im very impressed. you live a life of being a part of the world and for that i commend you.

you aren't weird you just aren't like. concealing your actions under 1000 layers of explanation. youre a hot knife in the butter of the world etc. i hope you have a wonderful morning and the sun shines for you at high noon and you smile and squint at it and feel alive.

as for me. well im good. im back at home for the holidays which is weird after 3 months away at school and im working a ton because? i dont know how to be on winter break i guess? but thats okay i like working in a restaurant i think its fun and exciting and mixes up my days.

i saw live seals the other day (WHILE hanging out with tumblr mutuals. of all things). from your messages, i'm guessing you live somewhere landlocked. i think you would like them. theyre beautiful animals. the ones in the zoo just arent the same. to see them out in the wild where theyre living their lives is so cool. subscribe to seals at your local river ocean or bay.

[jonismitchell]

hey arden. i was listening to maathp and i was looking for a post i liked a while back analyzing the song that i always meant to read but never did and couldn’t find it, so i was hoping you’d give your analysis of it when you can bc you’re one of the only people who will analyze one of her songs in a way that’s more in your own way and not the “this is what the song probably means to taylor” kind of way which i kinda hate that most swifties do 💖

Hello! I read this lying in bed and thought ‘hey, this is an awesome ask, but it’s 11pm so maybe I’ll answer in the morning,’ and then I got too swept up in thinking about Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince. Now I’m up cranking out Taylor Swift analysis in the middle of the night, which is my preferred habit. (Thank you for your compliments on my specific style of analysis! I love looking critically at media and will aggressively take any opportunity to do so.)

The analysis is under the cut, because it is 1000+ words and I do not hate my mutuals. Hope you enjoy!

So, what is MAATHP about? In my opinion (a general disclaimer for this entire answer), this song is about political turmoil and an obsessive romance that anchors you through it. As a greater metaphor for the juvenile state of politics today, it’s set in a high school, which also links back to the idea of public perception being the most important thing and romantic love being all consuming. (Think Lorde’s ‘blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you, but we’re the greatest.’ That’s the vibe I get from this song.)

The first verse is as follows: You know I adore you / I’m crazier for you / Than I was at sixteen / Lost in a film scene / Waving homecoming queens / Marching band playing / I’m lost in the lights. She sets the stage for the song here: an obsessive love, a comparison to being a teenager, and specific allusions to typical American high schools. There’s a reminder of her early, Fearless-era work in the homecoming queens and marching bands, but the idea of being lost in public perception implies a darker edge than we’ve heard before.

* The ‘lights’ were formerly referenced as a context for public perception as ‘another name goes up in lights’ in The Lucky One. 

Swift continues with: American glory faded before me / Now I'm feeling hopeless, ripped up my prom dress / Running through rose thorns, I saw the scoreboard / And ran for my life  Quite a bit more to unpack here! The first obvious political association here is the idea of American glory fading (a reaction to the 2016 election, presumably). Our narrator destroys a standard symbol of ‘successful’ teenage years, the prom dress, in an extension on this theme. A conflict is introduced in these lines: a visual of escape, a view of the scoreboard (nice wordplay—could be a football game or a national election). 

Pre-chorus: No cameras catch my pageant smile / I counted days, I counted miles / To see you there, to see you there / It's been a long time coming, but We’re again looking at the idea of public perception with the pageant smile, which is associated with beauty pageants for young women but is in the song’s context an allusion to the very social nature of political campaigning. It’s reinforced with counting days and miles, as if on the campaign trail around the country, and sets up the complete clash of personal and political for the chorus.

It's you and me, that's my whole world / They whisper in the hallway, "She's a bad, bad girl" / The whole school is rolling fake dice The primary romance of the song—the idea that the world is such a disaster that this one person is your lifeline and your world throughout it. Despite the gossip typical to high school halls, the narrator holds onto the person they love and condemns the rest of the school as liars. (Fake dice to me means a presupposed set of outcomes that don’t actually exist, i.e. there are more choices than others appear to see. Could also be a reference to ‘fake news.’)

You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes / It's you and me, there's nothing like this / Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince / We're so sad, we paint the town blue / Voted most likely to run away with you If you do something stupid, you have to accept the consequences for your actions = if you assume there are only a set number of outcomes, you force yourself into accepting the unpleasant result. (Maybe a bit too leftist for Swift’s intention, but this isn’t about her. Could also be ‘voting for Trump / not voting means you have to accept the consequences of his presidency.’) It’s in essence a condemnation of a narrow outlook. 

We’re drawn back to the romance that forms the backbone of this song; between someone so perfectly American (at least on the surface, conforming to the politically and socially acceptable views of the nations) that they are ‘Miss Americana’ and their lover, the ‘Heartbreak Prince’ here to ruin it all. Both of the lovers are disappointed with their society—unclear whether it’s the school or the country, probably deliberately—so they strike back for change (vote blue), but ultimately want to escape the world that has ostracized them and is actively burning down. 

My team is losing, battered and bruising / I see the high fives between the bad guys / Leave with my head hung, you are the only one / Who seems to care The second verse is pretty impressive to me from a lyrical standpoint. We can see the team as a high school’s home team or a political party, but either way they’re being fought against and beaten down. The opposition is fierce and cruel, the ‘bad guys’ who revel in their victory of cruelty. The narrator abandons this with a miserable look and her lover is the only one there to comfort her.

American stories burning before me / I'm feeling helpless, the damsels are depressed / Boys will be boys then, where are the wise men? / Darling, I'm scared  The typical idea of America—good guys always win, a bootstraps / American dream narrative—is crashing before a narrator who’s held such a strong belief in it. Without the system, she doesn’t know what to do with herself, and sees this reflected in the people around her. The ‘damsels are depressed’ is a typical idea of the role women are meant to play changed by the mental health crisis. (I am extrapolating heavily, folks.) 

‘Boys will be boys’ is a play on locker room talk, the culture of misogyny and assault that plagues America beneath the veneer of glory, and Swift follows by writing ‘where are the wise men;’ a biblical allusion to the idea of singular people that can remedy the faults in the system. She finally reverts back to the lover to share her fear. 

No cameras catch my muffled cries / I counted days, I counted miles / To see you there, to see you there / And now the storm is coming, but We look again at the idea of public perception, a private love that outlasts the outcry in a similar way to Swift’s own ‘reputation.’ She discusses hiding from the ever-present storm (whether it be a debilitating political condition or a flurry of gossip within a high school) and holding onto that lover as a remedy for outward pain.

[Repeat of the chorus as above.]

And I don't want you to (Go) / I don't really wanna (Fight) / 'Cause nobody's gonna (Win), I think you should come home [repeated] And I'll never let you (Go) 'cause I know this is a (Fight) / That someday we're gonna (Win) This repetitive bridge, a play on a traditional cheerleader chant, highlights and contrasts the two settings in this song for a final time. The narrator displays brief hatred, reconciled to the idea of no change, and unwilling to lose her lover.  Soon after (in the typical fashion of young, passionate people), there is a minute belief in the idea that the battle (against another school or political party) can be won, that it is worth sticking your neck out for, and that the narrator becomes willing to sacrifice their lover for. 

It’s in this vein that the song ends with the ‘she’s a bad, bad girl’ line repeated; now symbolizing the willingness of the narrator to sacrifice themselves and their lover for a victory they fervently believe in. This 180, incidentally, is what makes the song less convincing for me—the desperation for escape turning to a preparation to be villainized—but I hope this analysis was interesting and helped you form some of your own conclusions.