#I said hon hon hon because it’s funny
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kan-opener · 8 months ago
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Boomerang canonically having a big [hon hon hon] is interesting in all but.. I’m going to need proof
Visual learner by the way
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zephyrchama · 7 months ago
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“Don’t,” you warned Lucifer. You saw that self-assured grin on his face. You knew what he was planning.
“What? I just came to see what you were doing.” He leaned on your shoulder with enough weight to tilt you several inches sideways, no matter how much you pushed back. “Don’t mind me, carry on.”
“Don’t you have more important things to do?” you retorted, but it was too late. The others were catching on.
“Hey, hey! What’s going on?” Mammon came over and pushed against your other shoulder, tilting you back upright. “What are two of my favorite people doin’?”
You tried to shrug them both off, to no avail. “We’re not doing anything. We can stop this.”
You couldn’t stop it. Asmodeus was on his way and wasted no time crossing his arms over your back, happily leaning into you from behind. You tilted forward. “Hey! What’s happening here?”
You sighed, “we’re not doing this again.”
Asmodeus teased you with honeyed innocence, “doing what, hon? Something on your mind?”
These three demons thought they were so funny.
A passing Satan made eye contact with you. In that exact moment, you used every bit of imaginary telepathy you could muster. Surely Satan would understand. He could save you. He could free you before it really was too late.
He observed what his brothers were doing, nodded, and approached with a congenial grin. Mission failed.
“Traitor!” You regretted ever agreeing to join this exchange program as Satan slowly fell back into you. You didn’t even try to catch him, you were too busy trying to remain upright under the combined weight of four demons. They were hardly even holding back.
You couldn’t see who was running up, being too busy blowing Satan’s blonde hair out of your face, but at this point it didn’t matter. They were all coming for you.
“Let me in on this!” Leviathan said cheerily.
“Yeah!” “Come on!” Asmodeus and Mammon gladly made some room for Leviathan, which was difficult because you were sinking lower and lower, and you felt another weight pile onto your back as Levi cozied up to your torso. This scenario had played out enough times now that the brothers could somehow keep you from falling over like a Jenga tower, but it was still only a matter of time.
Belphegor squeezed his way in between Satan and Lucifer and wordlessly collapsed onto you as if overcome with narcolepsy. He sure looked cozy. He smirked while you lamented, “I’m never forgiving any of you, ever.”
“Beel? Are you coming?” Lucifer summoned the cherry on top of this ridiculous parfait. You braced as Beelzebub licked the crumbs off his fingers in preparation. He knew what had to be done.
“Are you ready?” At least he had the decency to ask, unlike six other degenerates. The six lumps of dead weight each grabbed a part of your body, shifting from leans to awkward hugs. There was no way to run.
With an exaggerated “hah!”, Beelzebub’s weight and outstretched arms were enough to send everyone crashing down. You were protected from any real damage by the shell of demon brothers, but they soon had you pinned down against someone’s chest in the world’s most embarrassing cuddle pile.
“Aren’t you guys too old for this?” you asked. “By like, ten thousand years?”
“We were just checking up on you,” Lucifer said.
“Yeah, how did this happen? Hmm..!” Asmodeus’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
Satan draped his leg over yours and not-so-accidentally kicked Lucifer. “You should have told us what you were doing.”
“I think it’s fun.” Belphegor was the only one to admit the truth.
Hands were running through your hair and over your stomach. Somebody was pushing the edge of your mouth up into a smile with their finger. If these guy were so touch-starved, they could have just said so, like sane people.
“My! What do we have here?”
You groaned, partially because everybody was really heavy and partially because you really didn’t need Diavolo to arrive just then.
“My lord, it appears we have walked in on something quite interesting.” Et tu, Barbatos?
”Indeed! Is there room for two more?”
Your “no!” was drowned out by seven resounding yeses.
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ghostedeabha · 1 year ago
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imagine like simon goes into some sort of surgery and has to be put under anesthesia, and when he gets out hes like still high asf on it 💀 and hes being a lil silly goose
okay this is such a cute idea omg, this is 100% based off that tiktok audio where it's like "my wife wouldn't like you touching me like that" "i AM your wife."
thank you so much for the request nonnie, a forehead kiss for you MWAH MWAH
simon 'ghost' riley x reader
wc: 563
warnings: none really, lots and lots of that good ol fluff, mentions of surgery, goofy simon, maybe a little ooc simon (he's high so it's fine)
a/n: i hope this is okay, i'm feeling a bit rusty with my writing but i've finally got back some motivation and energy to do so after the past two months of low energy and bad mental health. if you guys want to know a bit more about it and my mental health (i don't see why anyone would but lmao) let me know, i don't mind making a post about it if you guys want an explanation of some sort or whatever. anywho, sorry this is so short but i hope you still like it!! <3
a/n 2.0: i recently applied for a part time job at a bookstore so y'all pray for me that i get this job because i want it so bad. i am just gonna decide that i WILL get this job, because why wouldn't i?
simon had been out of surgery for just over an hour now, being a soldier you 'd think perhaps he was going under surgery for some kind of wound he had inflicted upon him on the battlefield but no, he was just getting his tonsils removed after a bad bout of tonsillitis ended up with him developing really bad tonsil stones.
so here you were, waiting by his bedside for him to wake up. the doctor and nurses reminded you just as he had gotten out that he may still be a little, well loopy, off of the meds depending on how quickly he woke up. you waited in a chair at his bedside, reading a book when you heard the blankets of the bed rustling just a little.
looking up from your book you see simon starting to wake up and you reach out to grasp his hand, only for him to rip it away from you when his eyes were fully opened.
"uh, si? you okay, hon?" you ask gently, maybe he just wasn't feeling too well after waking up, or perhaps he wasn't wanting physical touch, that happened quite often and you always respected that space he may want when he wanted it.
"don't call me that." simon said, voice hoarse and scratchy from the surgery, he sounded a little angry.
"what?" you questioned, this wasn't like simon, you couldn't understand why he wouldn't want you speaking like this to him.
"i'm taken."
"i know." you replied with a short laugh.
"you should be touching me like that then."
it hit you then, he was woozy from the meds and didn't recognize you. the realization made you laugh a little more. you decided to have a bit of fun with this high version of your boyfriend.
"sorry about that simon. wanna tell me about your partner?"
"oh, (name)? they're amazing, you know they're so pretty. and they're funny too. they always know how to make me feel better, i miss them." simon replies, ranting and raving on and on to you about his partner, about you.
"you love them a lot, don't you?" you ask him with a smile, it felt so nice to hear all these lovely things about yourself, your boyfriend clearly unfiltered by the effects of the anesthesia he was under.
sure he definitely said sweet things to your face, but something about hearing it when he was basically high as shit made your heart pound a little more.
"i love them with my whole heart." simon replies, a goofy little smile on his face.
you can't help but reach out to gently caress his face at those words, body filling up with some much adoration for the soldier in front of you.
"hey! what did i say about touching me. i have a partner!" simon scolds, trying to dodge your touch.
"simon, love... i am your partner. it's me, (name)." you reply with a laugh.
simon takes a good long look at you when you tell him this, he stares at you, looks you up and down before letting out a soft and quiet "oh."
you begin to hear the beeping of his heart rate monitor speed up, his cheeks turning slightly pink as he stares up at you.
you couldn't help but laugh a little more at this. what a sweet idiot. your sweet idiot.
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hello could you write a fic for miles42 having an airhead gf like shes his opposite (kind, always smiling, extroverted but shes a bit blunt) !! for the fic u can do wtv u want tbh !! but if u dont have any inspiration u could do something about her meeting miles42’s mom nd uncle or, him taking his gf on a date or wtv u want bc idk if my ideas are good lmaoo
(Hello! Sure I can and here ya go! Enjoy!)
Earth 42!Miles Morales x Opposite!Reader
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It's so funny how you guys even ended up getting together
You both obviously clash but oddly work out well together
Even Miles was surprised he ended up with you
"Blink twice if he kidnapped you, kid."
Words of Uncle Aaron the first time he met you
When Uncle Aaron and his mother met you, they probably thought he was gonna be with someone who matched him, probably Emo or at least similar to him
And to their surprise, and his mother's joy
You walked into the door!
His mother thinks your good for Miles, she sees you're able to get him to smile more, he's happier and she sometimes sees specks of Miles before his dad died come back
Even if Miles is surprised at himself he really does love you
He needs someone like you in his life
Walking down the street hand in hand people would never think that you guys were together
Even in photos, you're smiling, it always seems like he has a permanent frown on his face until out come along
It always looks like two completely different photos, but no
He warns you about being kind to everyone though, as he noticed is a habit of yours
Brooklyn isn't safe, everyone knows that and you could get hurt because you're too kind
You're kinda an airhead also
You once followed a man into his house because he said he had cats and she had kittens
Don't worry, the man was a kind and older man but the principle still stands
Miles noticed you're sorta an airhead, not a bad thing but something he looks out for you for
But he truly does love how much you care for him, his mom and even Uncle Aaron
When you guys first met he was a little suspicious
Just because he wasn't used to that in Brooklyn anymore
You were also incredibly blunt
He found it funny at first when it was at other people
He gets kinda frozen and can't help but sigh when it's directed at him
He thought Uncle Aaron would not like you when he brought you home
Not him mom
But you did great!
He didn't even need to warn you about calling his mom by her first name
He's gotta get used to you being so extroverted
Especially because now he is more closed off and likes to keep to himself more
Especially being the Prowler
But when you want to do anything and everything, social and make friends
He's the one looking over your shoulder and directing you away from assholes
He loves you, but he doesn't want you being hurt
You got them scary boyfriend privileges
I think you guys make a great pair
Miles was initially hesitant to introduce you to his mom and Uncle Aaron, but you wore him down.
So that's how he stood in the hallway of his own apartment like the guest, as his mother already liked you.
Plus, you didn't call her by her first name.
"Aye, you're so pretty, Mija." Miles' mother smiled at you, getting a genuine one back as she stood next to you, glancing at Miles.
"Oh, ¿cómo te las arreglaste?" Mrs. Morales started, her son blushed as he stood behind you, watching his mom practically flaunt around you.
"Mom!" Miles complained, Mrs. Morales waving him off with an eye roll.
"How did you meet my son of all people, hon?" Mrs. Morales asked, guiding you to the kitchen as you followed behind her, laughing under your breath.
"Well, I was walking to Mr. Gonzalez's bakery, and I was in line but I looked outside," you started, Miles freezing in embarrassment at the upcoming story as Uncle Aaron laughed.
"I saw Miles standing there in the window, but he was just staring at me?" You said, a confused tone in your voice as Miles could hear his mom chuckle.
"Anyway, I smiled at him and he sorta jumped. He…sorta smiled back? It was a little loopy but then he turned away real quick, but he tripped."
"Oh, man…" Uncle Aaron laughed, wrapping an arm around his nephew's shoulder as Miles looked down, blushing thankfully hidden as he hid his face in his shirt.
"He fell sorta hard so I went outside to help him, and yeah!" You smiled, Miles shaking his head as Uncle Aaron elbowed him.
"Stop…" Miles muttered, turning around to head to the kitchen as Uncle Aaron couldn't keep in his laugh any more.
Hey, you said it how it was.
Miles may complain about it, but seeing how you were sitting on the counter talking to his mom with a smile on his face, he couldn't complain about it much.
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gutsby · 11 months ago
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Playing Dangerous
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Pairing: Detective Dixon x Reader
Summary: Working undercover in a seedy part of town, homicide detective Daryl sees you in your skimpy club attire and mistakes you for a hooker. A wrongful arrest makes for a funny way to foreplay, but you’re still game.
Warnings: NSFW. Thigh riding. Brat taming. Daddy kink. Dubcon elements vis-à-vis power imbalance and forceful facefucking, plus some dark-ish dirty talk, face slapping, overstimulation where Daryl keeps making you cum after you say that you’re finished (all meant to be consensual).
Notes: Big big thank you to @dilfsandmartinis for this filthy lil idea!! 🫣🩷 Requests are always welcome :-)
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Shitty was an understatement.
This was a full-blown, top-notch terror of an evening, rivaled only in its sheer lethality by the time you once broke your nose and got arrested twice in the same day.
Tonight was likely to be a close second, though.
You’d spent all of ten minutes in the center of that hot and sweaty club, fighting madly not to drop your drinks or lose your purse, when suddenly, simultaneously, it seemed every guy around you had lost the power of self-control. You were prodded and groped like a shiny slab of meat ripe for any man’s hands—and no matter how hard you elbowed each offender, you couldn’t find reprieve. You were constantly being grabbed.
You’d grumbled as much to your friends, and they’d told you to ‘lighten up’ and ‘not be so surprised when you were wearing something like that.’
Something like what? A super mini skirt and a bustier?
You promptly informed each member of your party they could kiss your ass, and left.
That had been almost half an hour ago, and you were still currently stuck outside the club waiting for a lift. In the snow. With no jacket, or adequate covering.
Every time a taxi passed, you’d wobble over to the street corner and wave your hand, but on each endeavor, without fail, its driver would shoot you a dirty look and speed right off. Like you had, ‘I’M GONNA ROB YOU’ written on your forehead or else smelled of rotting flesh.
You were mystified, distraught, and supremely pissed off. You didn’t know what you were doing wrong.
The second you saw a semi-reputable looking Dodge Charger pull up to the curb, you decided you’d had enough. Uber or not, you needed a fucking ride.
You stalked over to the vehicle, already seeing its passenger side window creeping down on your approach. Your arms were quick to fold over your chest as you bent down and scowled,
“Could you please take me home?”
The man you saw inside looked polished. Well-groomed.
You hardly had more than a second or two to inspect his appearance, though, because in an instant, he was leaning over the center console to shoot you a smile.
“How much, hon?”
You heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, someone was taking you seriously.
You reached for the door handle and tumbled right in.
“Any price, just name it,” you groaned. You rubbed your face with both hands and leaned back in the seat. Almost unable to believe your stroke of good fortune after so many failed attempts, you let out a shaky, but grateful, breath and spread your legs just a little to get comfy.
“Good,” the man to your left said, calmly, evenly...then, “Now put your hands where I can see them.”
You lowered your hands from your face and gave the stranger a puzzled look.
“What?”
“Hands, show me hands,” he said, voice raising ever slightly in volume.
What the fuck was he on? Staring you down with that stupid, self-righteous face, lip curled in a melodramatic snarl like he could’ve been one of those lousy fuckin’—
“Police,” he barked. Louder, this time. Flashing a badge before your panic-stricken eyes and clenching his jaw.
Your hands flew up instinctively.
Was it illegal to hail a cab now?!
You didn’t have time to think, or blink, or do much else besides breathe when the well-dressed man got out of the car and instructed you to do the same. Your hands and feet seemed to move of their own accord as you gingerly slipped out from the front seat of the car to the cold wintry night outside. You were pushed to your knees on the concrete sidewalk and made to kneel.
To your right, you saw a gaggle of college kids strolling by—some pointing, others laughing, but all watching in muted awe as the undercover cop circled to your back.
“You have the right to remain silent—” he started, reaching for the handcuffs on his belt.
“Excuse me?!” you hissed.
“—anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law—” he continued. A couple gentle clinks and suddenly your wrists were in chains.
“What’d I do? What the fuck did I do?”
“You have a right to an attorney,” he droned on, heedless of your cries as he read your Miranda rights, “If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.”
You felt tears spring to your eyes as both cuffs locked into place and you were being hauled back onto your feet, sniveling and sobbing before throngs of amused onlookers. Your face burned with embarrassment.
“I didn’t know it was a crime, officer— I didn’t know, I swear— I-I-I’m so fucking drunk!” you blubbered as he guided you swiftly to the rear of his car. You practically bawled when he opened the back door.
“I just really needed a taxi!” you wailed, legs shaking as he started to lower you into the vehicle.
At that, he stopped.
He tugged you back on your feet and spun you around.
“A what?” he asked.
“A taxi,” you cried, “All the other drivers kept— kept driving away, I thought, I-I don’t know, I thought you might be another Uber driver or something.”
The man’s expression betrayed a change, though you couldn’t decipher just what that was through your tears. You sniffled and tried to wipe your cheek with your shoulder but ended up smearing more makeup in your line of sight. You whimpered at a pathetic pitch.
“Taxi,” the police officer repeated, seeming to mull over the word in his mind like it was the latest addition to the English language. He frowned.
Through your tear-streaked vision, you could just then detect the faintest trace of affliction…even remorse? His eyes wavered between your face, your ensemble, and the ground below, making a couple quick circuits before finally settling on your wet, bleary gaze.
His voice sounded strained to you now.
“You weren’t…trying to have sex with me?”
Your breath caught in your throat. You coughed, blinked, looked the man up and down and hardly knew to even shake your head with how blind-sided you felt.
“W-What? What?”
“You’re not…a prostitute?” the man said, almost pained.
That query threw you for a loop just the same. You pressed your weight on the car and sensed a strange unsteadinesses seize your limbs. This undercover cop thought you were a hooker—and a cheap one at that, game for any price the man was offering—and presently, you felt queasy. You looked down at your outfit.
It surely wasn’t that revealing, was it? He couldn’t have been so easily convinced of your profession by a...pair of glossy go-go boots, latex skirt, and lacy top, right?
Okay, you looked a little bit like a hooker.
Worse yet, you noticed a wad of cash stuffed between your left tit and armpit, from the time you tried to bribe the bouncer for a ride while leaving the bar. A loose cigarette stuck behind your ear, two hickeys suckled into the skin of your neck, and a teensy bag of blow to boot, tucked haphazardly between an assortment of Trojans and Magnums strewn lazily throughout your purse.
Alright, you could’ve been cast in the next Pretty Woman remake, but who cares? Half the girls in the club were dressed just as scantily, if not more so.
You somehow mustered the strength to squeeze your hands into frozen little fists behind your back and gave the officer a brazen look.
“Think I don’t have anyone better to fuck?” you scoffed.
The detective’s expression went from inscrutable to uncomfortable in fewer than two seconds. He seemed hardly able to look you in the eye any longer, casting sidelong stares at the crowd growing larger on the sidewalk. Collective curiosity piqued at the sight of a cop and a would-be streetwalker making small talk outside of the club, he knew he had to get out of this. Quick.
“I’ll, uh, take ya home, ma’am,” he said under his breath.
Before you could either accept or reject his offer, he had your cuffs undone—discreetly—and your body shuffled hastily inside his car. You heard the door slam shut and saw the officer make quick strides toward the driver’s side. You raised both brows as soon as he re-entered.
“That’s it?” you quipped.
“What?” he returned as he started the engine.
“You make that hot-shot unlawful arrest in front of all those people, and you’re not even gonna say sorry?”
The man made every effort not to shoot you a look in the rearview mirror. Slowly, he pulled into the street.
“Well...y’know, you do look the part. But I’m sorry.” Proffering one of the most pitiful apologies you’d heard in your life, the detective fixed his gaze on the road.
You knew he was bluffing. The man was humiliated as shit, too coy to come clean with the fact that he’d just made an egregious error, and now offering you a ride all to make himself out to be the good guy—and quite possibly avoid a wrongful arrest lawsuit.
Maybe it was the residual amounts of alcohol still coursing through your veins or else the cocaine, but you couldn’t let the dipshit get off that easy. You scrambled your way up to the front of the car.
It was at that moment Detective Dixon sincerely wished he’d driven the squad car—complete with a cage, of sorts, to keep inmates locked away in the back seat—rather than his unmarked vehicle, to be making arrests that night. He stifled a groan when you plopped down in the passenger seat next to him.
“What do you mean, ‘looked the part,’ hm?” you quizzed, burning a hole through the side of his head with how intently you were watching him.
“Put yer seatbelt on,” the man rolled his eyes, attention never straying from the long line of cars ahead of him, “And where do you live?”
“Over on ‘Fuck 12’ Avenue, Officer...Dixon?” you answered sarcastically, scanning his chest for a nametag.
“Detective,” he corrected, “Friends call me Daryl.”
“Detective Dixon, I am not your friend.” You smirked, and for the first time, you thought your discomfited front-seat companion might be tempted to crack one too. You watched him fight his base instincts, however, and force a frown instead. Still not tearing his gaze from the road, he reached over, blindly, for your seatbelt.
“C’mon now, buckle up,” he urged, echoing the words of a concerned father but somehow making it sound far more sexy when he said it. You swallowed a giggle and swatted his hand away.
“Detective!” you feigned an offended gasp.
“Ah, hush up, will ya?” Daryl muttered as his broad, veiny hand continued fumbling for the seatbelt, “You know it’s against the law to— shit!”
The two of you simultaneously leapt in your seats with near-identical sounds of...shock. You, feeling his fingers accidentally graze that tender spot between your legs and him, in turn, finding it unclothed. And soaked.
Detective Dixon retracted his hand just as fast as he’d sunk it in place, only holding it up in the air for an instant—but that was all either of you needed to see that his digits were glistening. You clamped your legs tight together and sucked in a breath.
Under any normal set of circumstances, you would’ve been much more in tune with the way your body was reacting to external stimuli. With all the commotion of your almost-arrest and the subsequent desire to exact revenge on the undercover detective, you hadn’t even realized how physically aroused you were.
Still reeling from his touch, you sank back in your seat. Suddenly more conscious of your bodily fluids than ever before, and embarrassed.
“I’m so sorry,” Daryl blurted out in a hurry. Gripping the steering wheel and pretending not to notice the slight wet slip of his right hand.
You couldn’t speak. He wouldn’t dare to venture a look to see if you might.
Now this would make for one hell of a career-ending lawsuit, Detective Dixon thought with a grimace. Wrongful arrest, soliciting sex on the clock, making unwanted advances on a woman who was technically, in a sense, being detained in his car while he—
Jumped, again, the second he felt your hand on his own.
You were pulling his arm over to your side of the car.
When Daryl turned his head, he paled the instant he saw you bring his hand to your mouth. Watched you pucker your lips and move them over his still-damp fingertips. Then suck them inside your mouth, three at a time.
He nearly swerved off the road and took out six civilians.
“Eyes...on the road, detective,” you murmured quietly, words garbled by the obstruction of his fingers.
Daryl swallowed thickly, and then, reluctantly, turned his attention to the street. He didn’t see much of what was in front of him.
“13 Peachtree Place.” You plucked his fingers out of your mouth just long enough to tell him your address. Then you went right back to suckling down the skin, letting your tongue glide gently over the tender, slick digits.
Daryl stifled a groan. There was no fucking way this was happening.
Guided by the faintest idea of where your neighborhood was located, he pulled off onto a side road and tried hard not to let out a sound when you sucked his three fingers to the back of your mouth—and felt your throat seize just a little at the sudden intrusion.
You pulled him out of your mouth with a wet pop and started over his lap.
You, yourself, were hardly more aware of what you were doing than why you were doing it, a slave to your sensory impulses and a sucker for a man in brown slacks. You crawled across the lap of the plainclothes officer who’d accused you of ‘selling yourself’ just minutes ago, only to show him what you were happy to do, free of charge.
It wasn’t your most gloriously feminist moment, to be sure, but then again, when were you going to get another chance to fuck the police and get off scot-free like this?
You palmed Detective Dixon through his pants and smiled when he whined just a little.
“Bet you wish I was selling, huh? Wish I was some pretty little thing for you to use at your convenience?” you purred, stroking over him gently.
Daryl gritted his teeth but said nothing in return. He brought the car to a stop under a red light.
You didn’t like the quiet types. You squeezed him harder in your hand, felt his erection grow even larger between your fingers, and moved up to press a kiss on his neck, tasting tiny beads of sweat there.
“How badly did you wish I was a whore, detective?”
When you leaned in for another couple light kisses, you were startled to feel a hand at your own throat, jerking your face up to his.
“Already knew you were the second I saw you.” he returned, deadpan, before your wide and unsuspecting eyes.
When the light turned green, he released your neck and reached for the back of your head. You let out a muffled whimper as he shoved you down against his crotch, stiff as a rock underneath your cheek.
“Why? Does a whore wanna suck it?” he asked, pressing his foot on the gas.
At a moment’s notice, you were robbed of your slight dominant edge and made to grovel under his touch like a bitch in heat. Daryl rubbed your plush lips over the mound in his pants like he was proud to make you feel it. And you, yielding as ever, made no attempt to keep from being manhandled because, if you were honest with yourself, you knew that you wanted it that way. You smiled against the cotton blend of his trousers and made a soft moan along the fabric, letting him drag you by the hair any way that he pleased.
When he yanked your head up and the car came to another stop, you weren’t surprised in the least by the trail of saliva that followed your lips. You locked eyes with his steel blue set and grinned again, quite stupidly.
“Well?” Daryl pressed, giving your hair a sharp tug.
You thought the sight of your watering mouth and blissed-out expression would have sufficed for an answer, but clearly, he wanted more. You worked gracelessly over the belt buckle and zip beneath your chin, and had his cock freed in seconds.
The car sped up again. Detective Dixon’s grip tightened on your scalp.
The second your lips latched onto the head of his dick, you knew you’d be in for a bumpy ride. He hissed as soon as the warmth of your mouth enveloped him, gripped the wheel like a vice, and made sure to spare your throat no expense the second he came to a sloppy halt.
Either your car was in bumper-to-bumper traffic, or the man couldn’t drive for shit while getting road head. You’d put a large sum of cash on the latter if you had it.
Regardless, you bobbed your head up and down and tried your best to suppress the urge to gag when you could. It was tough work, flattening your tongue down his length, gripping his cock at the base, sucking hard until your cheeks hollowed out, and then bump went the whole fucking car, and suddenly your throat was forced to take four more inches in the span of a second.
You lifted your head to protest but were swiftly met with a firm hand holding it down. Keeping it down.
“You’re done sucking this cock when I say you’re done,” Daryl informed you sternly, sucking a breath through his teeth when you gagged around him once more.
He pulled you off just long enough to breathe—and answer a question.
“You live over by McGinty’s? Or MacManus’?”
“McVeigh’s,” you supplied in a shaky voice. No one ever got the Irish pubs around you right.
Daryl hummed and shoved you right back onto his dick, pretending to take no notice of the way you gripped his thigh or tried to groan, ‘Fucker’ against his shaft. Your oral cavity was presently flooded with cock, pre-cum, and saliva, and the longer you sucked, the harsher he got to pushing your head up and down. Your eyes stung with tears.
“In through yer nose, darlin’, almost there,” he hummed, smug as ever. Whether he meant you were close to your house or he was about to cum down your throat, you couldn’t be sure. Your mouth slipped and squelched gently over the man’s throbbing member and made tiny whimpers when you felt you might climax any minute.
In a clandestine act, you moved one hand down your body while you continued blowing Daryl’s brains out. You were half-cockdrunk and hardly more sentient than a sex doll, it seemed, but you could’ve sworn you were quite discreet about the endeavor between your legs. You had just grazed the slick wet seam of your slit, about to press two fingers to your clit, when a hand jerked at a clump of your hair. Hard.
As soon as your mouth was disconnected from his shaft, Daryl landed a tart slap on your cheek.
“My baby need something?” he said, almost tauntingly.
You blinked up at him, failing to understand, until he reached down and pried your hand away from your heat.
“If tha’ wet, greedy cunt needs sum’n, ya better tell me.”
You were amazed how deftly he appeared to maneuver the car now, just pinching your face between forefinger and thumb as he veered down winding streets. When you paused a second or two to answer, you were punished with another slap.
“Just wanted a touch,” you whined, trying to rub the cheek that was stinging and finding yourself outmatched by Daryl’s grip. He squeezed you even tighter.
“Then you say that next time. With your big girl words,” Detective Dixon grunted, bringing the car to a sudden halt and hauling you into his arms.
You looked small splayed across his lap. Perhaps even tinier just straddling one leg, as you were, body writhing beneath his touch and moans and whimpers bubbling up your throat one at a time.
When you looked around, you realized you were home.
Part of you wanted to bolt, for a second. Go sprinting up the lawn toward the safety of your home and jump straight under the covers, a place where you would be free to touch yourself as you pleased—no smug homicide detective breathing down your throat.
But, as you straddled his wide, beefy thigh and felt one gentle pulse of the muscle underneath, you knew you were done for. He saw just as clearly as you that your body was in need of release. Not from your fingers, not from his tongue, perhaps not even from the fat, throbbing cock that had been fucking your mouth the whole way home.
In this moment, all you needed was for him to bounce you on his thigh, let you ride, and make you cum.
Your expression must have looked exceptionally pathetic when you tried stirring your hips and felt two hands stop you cold in your tracks.
“What did daddy just say about big girl words, hm?” Daryl’s voice took on a tender lilt so unlike anything he’d said or done before that you almost didn’t hear the word ‘daddy,’ or think it strange at all. It seemed so natural playing off of his tongue.
“I need you, daddy,” you whimpered.
To say you were putty in his hands was still something short of the truth. You were damn near liquified underneath his touch, half-limp and wholly yearning as the man steadied you in place and began his delicate ministrations like you’d never experienced before.
The once callous, largely cruel law enforcement figure took on something of a gentle affect as he ran his hands up and down your body and let you ease yourself into his touch. There were kisses, caresses, and all sorts of soft little touches on your skin that made you feel pampered and prized, even precious in his eyes. Was this really the same man whose cock had been choking you to the point of tears just minutes ago?
Daryl hiked your skirt up your hips until the sight of your bare, needy cunt was all he could see. Still, he stayed cool and trained his eyes up to yours.
“How’s that feel, honey?”
Even as still as a stone, you felt sparks of hot energy fly up from your center. Remembering your big girl words, you replied, ‘So good, daddy, I just need some more.’
Daryl seemed happy to oblige his good little girl and made sure to shift his knee a little to the right. At the slightest bit of friction, you moaned.
“Oh, daddy,” you whined, leaning in to that praise-heavy dynamic Daryl seemed keen to play out. When he bounced his foot once or twice, shaking your whole body as he did, you sucked your bottom lip between your teeth and grabbed hold of his thigh. Even rolled your hips right back to his movements.
As light, tender sounds tumbled past your lips with increasing frequency, so too did Daryl’s mouth impart more gentle kisses and dirtier words for your ears to hear:
“Such a pretty little thing, ridin’ daddy’s thigh like tha’.”
“Grindin’ tha’ needy wet pussy all over my leg.”
“Gonna make a mess fer daddy? Show me how much my sweet girl’s been needin’ a good fuck?”
You loved every last filthy syllable. You braced hard against his leg and rutted up and down, in circles all around until you thought you could’ve soaked his whole pant leg. Meanwhile, he was bouncing his thigh, stroking your sides, and making sure you were never wanting for affection or praise as a soft swell of pleasure came dimly into view.
When he flattened one palm across your tummy and told you to lean back, you knew the end wasn’t far from sight.
Daryl took hold of your hips and made an even quicker cadence with his leg, bouncing you fast and hard and hopelessly tight against his thigh as he drank in every one of your moans coming out.
You pressed one hand to the window—long since fogged up and opaque with the hot breaths you were panting—and placed the other on Daryl’s shoulder.
You could tell by the glint in his eye and the grin on his face that he loved you like this. Spread out and desperate for release as you rocked your hips a vicious course over him, using his body for leverage as you fucked his leg for all it was worth.
“Tha’s my girl,” Daryl beamed, practically scintillating with joy.
He watched you rut your hips again and again in the most obscene sort of fashion, riding his thigh with a moan never far from your lips. You squeezed his shoulder.
“Daddy, I—” you started, only to swallow your words with a whimper the second Daryl started bouncing his foot even faster.
“Daddy what?” he teased, pretending not to notice the elevated pitch to your whines.
“Fuck— you know what!” you cried.
“Nah, pretty baby, I ain’t got the slightest clue,” Detective Dixon was exuberant now, grinning from ear to ear as the pleasure visibly mounted inside of you, “Fuck my leg a little harder and tell me how it feels.”
You did. He helped. Even gripped your hips and moved them for you, keeping that breakneck pace as you moaned and writhed and sank your nails into his shoulder as the feelings just got to be too much.
With one last strangled cry, you came all over his thigh.
And, whether that climax lasted two seconds or two hours, the man beneath you didn’t really care—he kept bouncing his leg as you finished, and long after you had, as well.
You seized both of his shoulders this time as you tried to slow his movements. He made no such effort to oblige, only flashing a smile and nodding his big, dumb head as he said:
“I want one more.”
What? No fucking way, you thought, communicating as much through your frantic eyes and the shake of your head. Daryl kept right on moving his leg and holding you firm to that mile-wide wet spot on his thigh, which only grew larger and larger the longer you rode him.
As a bizarre, unfamiliar feeling sank to the pit of your stomach and twisted, you weren’t sure whether to laugh, cry, or cum all over again—luckily, your body decided for you and graced you with yet another orgasm. You gritted your teeth and tried not to scream as a wild wave of a new sensation washed over your senses…
And Daryl kept bouncing that fucking knee.
Mind-numbing waves of ecstasy came crashing closer and closer than ever before, and frankly, you couldn’t quite tell how, or when, you’d ever cum again until you did it, you felt it: walls clenching back and forth while your vision blurred with pleasure. A sound wavering somewhere between a scream and a plea—Daryl, keep that goddamn knee to yourself, for fuck’s sake!—tore out of your chest and prompted you to sink all ten nails into flesh that told your sly detective it was time to stop.
Your whole frame was shaking by the time his foot came to rest. If you hadn’t been so fucked-out and sensitive, you just might’ve jumped out of the car the second it did.
But you didn’t. You stayed frozen in place, let your vision return apace, and didn’t let your eyes stray an inch from Daryl’s smug face while your third orgasm subsided.
Fighting every urge to giggle when he squeezed your ass and begged for another.
“Fourth one’s gonna cost ya, asshole.”
“Oh yeah?” Daryl said, grinning, “What’s your price?”
1K notes · View notes
springwitch26 · 7 months ago
Text
flowers and firsts (melissa schemmenti x fem!reader)
summary: being the gracious friend you are, you offer to share your weed with melissa and jacob for a fun friday night at their place. when jacob goes to bed, things get heated between you and your favorite coworker.
warnings: smut (18+), consensual high sex, recreational marijuana use (be responsible), strap-ons, praise kink, vibrators, soft melissa, stoner reader, attempts at comedy (it's a fun fic guys), mario kart 8 GONE SEXUAL
notes: happy 4/20. this wasn't requested, but my OCD is beating the fuck out of me rn and writing it brought me comfort. let me know what you think. much love from your favorite slutty stoner 💚
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"i know kids are curious, but eighth grade is a bit early to try weed, right?" jacob bounced his leg anxiously as he raised the question to his friends in the teachers' lounge. one of his students had just been suspended for bringing marijuana to school, and jacob was characteristically worried about the kid.
"i started in tenth grade, but teenagers are growin' up younger and younger these days," melissa responded. barbara raised her eyebrows in shock, and melissa reacted with an amused half-smile. "like trouble over here. when was your first time, hon?"
you tried to ignore the innuendo as melissa invited you into the conversation. you had been hired to teach the third grade a few months ago. you and melissa had a rapport from the first moment you walked into the lounge. every time you were in a room together, you made each other laugh. melissa made you feel at ease in your new workplace, and you felt lucky to have her.
because you both got along so well, ava often paired you up for team-building exercises and combined-class activities. the two of you weren't exactly close friends yet, but you had chemistry. that much was obvious to everyone at abbott.
"tenth grade for me, too," you answered between sips of your morning coffee. "a friend and i did it in the bathroom before art class. good memories."
"what, did you have some kinda fancy vape pen?" melissa cocked an eyebrow at you.
"i wouldn't call it fancy, but yeah, we mostly smoked carts," you explained. "bought 'em from the upperclassmen in the parking lot before school. i'm pretty sure they weren't pure weed, though. we had to be smoking battery acid, or plastic or something."
"god, your generation is weird. smokin' chemicals out of a flash drive," melissa said, gesturing wildly to convey her amazement. "the first time i got high was in detention. my buddy steve would sneak in and bring us cigarettes and blunts. they all looked the same, so we played russian roulette with it. now everybody walks around with those neon devices in their pockets."
"i can't tell if you're being serious or if you're referencing the breakfast club," you giggled, nudging the redhead's shoulder jokingly as you sat down next to her.
"ha ha, very funny, little miss," melissa deadpanned. you had asked her to stop calling you "kid" a few weeks ago. she respected your wishes by coming up with all sorts of endearing synonyms to call you instead. "what about you, jacob? you used to vape—ever experimented with mary jane?"
"or mark john?" you added. melissa snorted and gave you a playful swat on the arm.
"no, actually, i haven't," jacob said, rolling his eyes at your quip. "i didn't have many friends in high school or college, and after that i had to be drug tested regularly for teachers without borders. i never got the chance."
"well, if you ever feel like trying something new, i have plenty to share," you offered. "can't have you over at my place, though; every time i bring guests around, my crazy neighbor thinks they're cia operatives."
everyone in the room except melissa gave you a shocked look. barbara looked especially aghast, her brightly painted lips curled into an 'o' shape.
"damn, i thought janine was the only after-school stoner here. what a pleasant surprise!" ava broke the silence.
"i suppose i would partake given one of those weed pens you mentioned," jacob said to you. "the only thing i've been vaping lately is air, and it gets stale after a while."
"oh no, i haven't used a cart since high school," you clarified. "if you're smoking with me, you're smoking. don't worry, it's easy. just like vaping, but better in every way."
"first of all, no smoke circle is happening under my roof without me." melissa chimed in, looking at you with a silent question in her eyes. you nodded—of course you wanted her there. "and second, where do you even get the weed? if you buy the legal stuff from new york or massachusetts, you're not bringin' it to my house."
"i wouldn't dream of it," you affirmed. "i only smoke authentic philly weed. don't worry about it; i got a guy."
---
that friday night, you showed up on melissa's doorstep wearing a casual t-shirt dress, with a tote bag full of goodies slung over your shoulder. jacob was the one to answer the door.
"hey! come on in, melissa's making pizza," he said cheerfully, a bit jittery with anticipation.
you followed jacob inside and found melissa leaning over the kitchen island, smiling fondly at you. she was wearing sweatpants and a loose-fitting striped shirt, with her hair loose and a bit messy from cooking. she looked radiant and comfortable.
"you know, the pizza will taste better if we smoke before dinner," you proposed.
"bold of you to assume my pizza could taste any better," melissa joked back.
"i'm game," jacob said. "i want the full marijuana experience."
"in that case, help me set up," you said to the history teacher. "i want you to see how everything works."
you laid the contents of your tote bag out on the island countertop: a ziploc baggie full of flower, a little purple grinder, a holographic pink bowl, and a yellow lighter with white flowers on it.
"jacob, this is a grinder," you said, uncapping the grinder and opening the ziploc bag. "we're gonna use it to break up the flower into little pieces."
"oh wow, that is... pungent," jacob remarked. he watched as you ground up the weed, then handed the pink glass bowl to him.
"and this is a bowl, or a pipe if you're lame," you said. "you wanna do the honors?"
jacob grinned and reached into the grinder, bouncing excitedly on his heels. you put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. he filled the bowl, looking to you for approval several times while he did it.
"awesome, we're ready," you said. melissa placed her pizza in the oven and joined the circle.
"let's take it out on the patio," melissa suggested.
she led you and jacob out to the patio, a small ledge overlooking the city with three chairs conveniently set up in a tight circle. it was 7pm and the sun had just begun its descent, casting philadelphia in an orange glow.
the three of you sat down. you held the bowl up to your lips and moved to light it, but melissa snatched the lighter from your hand. she leaned in and held the flame to the bowl, her face inches from yours. you tried to concentrate on the task at hand, rather than her painted lips or her vivid green eyes dancing all over you.
you took a long inhale of the smoke and blew it up toward the sky. melissa plucked the bowl out of your hand and took a hit. she held the smoke in her lungs for an impressive amount of time for someone who didn't smoke regularly. she passed the still-lit bowl to jacob.
as soon as jacob took his hit, you knew it was gonna hurt. he overestimated his own lung capacity, and he didn't even finish blowing the smoke out before he was coughing.
"happens to everybody, pal," melissa patted jacob's back to ease his pain.
"ugh!" jacob sputtered between coughs. "why didn't you guys tell me smoking hurts?"
---
several rotations later, the three of you were high. well, you and melissa were high; jacob was outright fried. not altogether unexpected, but funny as hell.
when melissa's pizza was done, you all resolved to eat outside so you could watch the sunset together.
"this is heavenly, mel," you moaned after a delicious bite of the pizza.
"ha!" jacob exclaimed, and you and melissa turned to him, confused. meeting melissa's gaze, he threw his arms up in the air—like he expected her to understand what he meant by that one noise. "she stole two syllables from your name. you can't just take syllables, y/n. they're not yours."
"since when do you care about private property rights?" you quipped back before turning your attention to melissa. "i'm serious though. this pizza is sooo good. like last-meal-on-death-row good."
"keep talkin' sweet like that, and you can call me whatever you want," melissa replied with a wink, sending a flood of warmth to your face.
"what were we talking about? just now?" jacob chimed in, his eyes wide and darting every which way.
"... i actually don't know," you said with a giggle. you tried to remember, you really did. but you could feel melissa's eyes on you, and you heard her words echoing in your head. and it was hard to focus on anything else.
"short term memory loss! add that to the list of things you guys didn't warn me about," jacob scoffed.
"jacob, eat your damn pizza," melissa cut in. a peaceful smile graced her lips as she stared out at the city skyline, now a twilight blue in the absence of the sun. "i've missed this feeling, everythin' all fuzzy and light. how are you holding up, lovebug?"
your heart fluttered at the endearing name. melissa, it seemed, wore her heart on her sleeve when she was high—judging by the adoring way she gazed at you while she awaited your response. maybe the weed was messing with your head, but you swore she'd never looked so beautiful.
her eyes lacked any trace of the fire you were used to seeing (though they were quite red). for once, she wasn't on guard. her plump lips curled around her wine glass as she took a sip of merlot, vocalizing her sensual appreciation with a hum.
her long auburn hair was tucked behind her ears, resting on her shoulders in loose waves instead of her preferred meticulous curls. you wanted to run your fingers through her locks, feel their softness and smell her shampoo.
entranced by the redhead, you forgot she had asked you a question. melissa tapped your knee in reminder.
"i feel perfect," was your soft reply. you were beaming brightly before the sentence even finished. rather than sitting in a chair, you felt like you were floating on a cloud. the colors of melissa's patio and the sky blended together in a beautiful, swirling mosaic. the sounds of the city were clear and pleasant as philly wound down for the night. "i'm so happy."
"glad to hear it, sunshine. but i'm pretty sure jacob is asleep," melissa chuckled and patted the man's shoulder. he didn't stir, remaining slumped and conked out in his chair. "he's been losin' sleep over the kid who got suspended. bending over backwards trying to keep 'em on track."
"oh gosh," you said sympathetically before patting jacob a bit more firmly than melissa had. "jacob, hey. c'mon, it's time for bed. get up, go get cozy."
your words were slurred and hushed, but they seemed to pierce the veil of jacob's slumber as he awoke with a start.
melissa stood behind jacob's chair, gently rocking it back and forth to bring him back to the conscious world.
"can't go to bed, we just started," jacob grumbled, but his eyes were still closed. he was dangerously close to falling asleep again.
"from the looks of it, you're either gonna spend the night sleepin' in this chair or in your bed, so get up," melissa said resolutely.
"yeah, and besides, there's always next time," you assured jacob as he stretched and groaned his way into an upright position. you made eye contact with melissa, and this time you winked.
---
after helping jacob into bed (his motor skills really deteriorated when he got high) and smoking another bowl together, you and melissa were ready to continue your night.
"alright, sweetheart, it's down to you and me," melissa said, sitting down next to you on the couch. "what do you wanna do?" you pondered the question, looking around the room for inspiration.
"oh my god, you have a nintendo switch?" you asked excitedly, gesturing to the black tablet plugged in next to the cable box.
"that's jacob's. he showed me one of the games on there—animal crossing, i think it was. i don't get it. why play a game if you can't win?"
"alright, i know what we have to do now," you said, walking over to jacob's game cabinet and pulling out mario kart 8. holding the case up for melissa to see, you grinned. "four races. whoever wins gets whatever she wants from the other."
you were distantly aware of the implications, but you were too high to reconsider what you'd proposed.
you figured melissa would want something from your thoroughly decorated classroom if she won. if you won, you'd ask her to make you a custom pizza.
"you have no idea what you just started, hon," melissa said with a confident smirk.
"may the best woman win."
---
how the hell was she so good at everything?
melissa had needed some time to warm up to the switch controls, complaining about how the little red rectangle was too small to hold comfortably. but she was a quick learner with skilled fingers, and soon she was absolutely demolishing you.
it also didn't help that your coordination escaped you when you were high. you had driven off of too many ledges to count.
"two wins in a row for luigi," melissa bragged as she crossed the finish line of the third race. "hope you're ready to give me whatever i want, princess. don't think i forgot about our bet."
"daisy won the first race," you pointed out calmly. "i can still bring it back. but you know what this last race has to be?"
"what?"
"rainbow road. it's the perfect final showdown course," you explained, navigating to the course with your controller.
"get ready to be mine for a night," melissa said lowly. god, you knew she was talking about the bet, but she knew damn well what she was doing. by this point your panties were almost uncomfortably wet.
you leaned into her unconsciously as the race countdown began. you both held your controllers tight, almost shoulder to shoulder.
3...
2... (you push down the gas pedal button)
1...
GO!!!
daisy took off with a boost of speed thanks to your timing. luigi had a false start as his engine blew out. you cheered, and melissa cursed.
"how the fuck do you do that?" she asked, exasperated.
"play the game!" you demanded without looking away from the screen.
the competition was intense. you and melissa weaved around curves, nearly fell off the road, passed and bumped each other. neither one of you spoke until lap 3.
coming up on one of the last turns of the last lap, your hands jerked and you swerved. reacting on instinct, you bent your arms dramatically in the other direction to overcorrect.
melissa's arm bumped into yours, sending your controller flying out of your hands.
"hey!" you said, thinking she was cheating.
"hey yourself," she said, her eyes still fixed on the screen.
if she was gonna play dirty, so were you. you thrust your arm forward to grab her controller. but she saw you coming from a mile away. effortlessly, she shifted the controller into her left hand alone and held it up and out of your reach.
desperately competitive (and stupid high), you launched yourself toward the controller. you'd stop at nothing to get even. before you could snatch it out of her grasp, though, your balance faltered. you fell out of your position and started to fall backwards off the couch.
melissa dropped the controller and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you back up before you could hurt yourself. there was only one problem with this heroic act.
you were in her lap now.
her hands remained clasped at the small of your back, and your balance shifted forward. you put your arms out for stability, and wrapped them around her neck.
"careful, don't hurt your pretty head," melissa cooed. the two of you stared at each other for a moment. she surged forward and pressed her lips to yours.
if sitting outside with her felt like floating, kissing her and feeling her body against yours felt like riding the ocean waves. but unlike the atlantic, she was warm. you relaxed into her warmth as her tongue licked into your mouth.
you felt her tongue everywhere. in response to her, you gave a few tentative kitten licks. she moaned, she moaned, and pulled back before giving you one last kiss on the lips.
she stared at you with heated eyes for a while before switching her focus to the tv.
"look, baby," she said smugly while gesturing to the tv screen, where luigi was driving victory laps after placing first on rainbow road. "i won. you remember what that means?"
it was a fair question, considering how many conversations you forgot happened tonight. still, you nodded shyly and bit your lip.
"smart girl," melissa praised. "can you guess what i want from you?"
you shook your head no with a frown. melissa beamed and kissed you on the forehead. then she leaned in to whisper in your ear.
"i wanna touch you everywhere. i wanna hear your pretty voice moan my name and see your face scrunch up when you come. i want you to feel me all over you, and i want you to spend the rest of your life craving that feeling," melissa said her piece all at once, as if revealing a long-buried secret to you and herself.
you swallowed.
"would you let me do that?"
you nodded, pressing your forehead against hers.
"i need to hear you say it," she said softly, so softly you almost missed it.
"i want you, melissa. i have since the day we met."
that was all the confirmation melissa needed to attack your face and neck with kisses.
"sorry, let me just," melissa said as she pulled away abruptly and reached for the tv remote. she changed it to cable mode and navigated to the jazz music channel. "there we go, perfect."
"you're ridiculous," you giggled upon seeing melissa's proud face.
"honey," she leaned in to nip at your ear before whispering, "watch your mouth. you wanna be on my good side tonight, trust me."
you shuddered and wiggled in her lap, aching for her touch. a slow grin spread across her face and her hands found your legs, running up your thighs and lightly dragging her nails along your skin. they soon made their way up your waist to your breasts, cupping and squeezing them. melissa even took two fingernails and circled your nipples teasingly, to which you squeaked.
"do you know how many times i thought about havin' you like this?" melissa whispered. her voice was sweet like molasses and flowed right through you. you could feel your nipples tingling where her fingers had been, swimming in a bubble of desire. "in my lap, all whiny and squirmy."
she pinched your nipple and you keened. you held your breath as her hands once again traveled to your thighs, making a beeline for your core.
"and now i got my angel in my arms," she said, gently spreading your legs for better access. you sucked in a breath and trembled when her palm caressed you through your panties. "but i gotta say, even in my imagination you were never this wet for me."
she punctuated the sentence by pressing her pointer finger on your clit through the fabric, drawing tiny circles. you gasped and hid your face in her neck. the high made every touch feel like it rippled through your whole body. the world felt like it had been knocked off its axis, and melissa was your new center of gravity.
"aw, don't be embarrassed, babygirl. it's cute you're so sensitive," melissa soothed, easing you out of the crook of her neck to face her again. she trailed her fingers down to swirl around your wetness under your panties. "let me take care of you, yeah?"
---
a few minutes later, you were spread out on melissa's bed, naked save for your (now useless) panties. she'd practically carried you to her room as you were baked and horny and unable to walk straight.
in spite of your writhing and needy whines, the redhead took her time to savor you. she kissed every inch of your torso before she even considered taking your panties off, mumbling sweet nothings between love bites.
when she finally pulled away to admire her work, the view did not disappoint. you were panting and covered in melissa's marks, and god, you were her favorite piece of art ever created. all hers.
"alright, sweet girl, i know," she cooed as you continued to plead for her touch with your best pout and puppy eyes. unable to resist you, melissa hooked two fingers in the waistband of your panties. "i'm gonna slip these off ya, okay? there, down they go."
melissa discreetly tucked the saturated material into her pocket. not as a trophy or proof of her conquest; rather, a token from the first of many magical nights with her girl. she would treasure it.
she wasted no time getting situated between your legs so she was face-to-face with your pussy. she inhaled deeply, basking in the heady aroma of your arousal. you overwhelmed her senses. everything she saw, everything she smelled, everything she felt, everything she thought—it was all one big, bottomless pool of you. and there was only one sense left for you to conquer.
the first drag of her tongue up your slit set you ablaze, flames licking from your core all the way to your extremities and your head. she let out a small noise of appreciation, and you felt it more than you heard it.
"you taste like fuckin' heaven," melissa rumbled between determined licks through your folds. her comment reminded you of the pizza, and you found yourself amused at how much things had changed in just a few hours.
"last-meal-on-death-row good?" you joked, and melissa seized the moment of levity to latch onto your clit. you cried out before remembering jacob was sleeping in the next room. you clapped a hand over your mouth.
"mhmmmmm," she moaned in agreement, and the vibrations on your bundle felt incredible. "but if you're still crackin' jokes, i'm not doin' my job."
with that, she shut you up completely. her tongue poked at your clit between harsh sucks. your back arched and melissa changed her strategy, prodding at your entrance with her tongue while her fingers took over on your clit. when her tongue penetrated you, you bit down on your hand to keep from screaming.
"i said i wanna hear you, remember?" melissa pulled out to chastise you.
"but jacob—" you managed.
"is passed out. he's dead to the world. now sing for me, angel," melissa's tongue dove back into your weeping cunt and lapped at your walls. you wailed her name.
"oh, mel, right—ahhh—there!" you mewled as her tongue teased your most sensitive spot. now that she'd located her target, melissa changed her play once again. two fingers replaced her tongue and crooked into your g-spot while her mouth returned to your clit. "close..."
melissa nodded her permission, her mouth busy with your button. with another hard roll of your clit between her lips and drive of her fingers into your sweet spot, you fell apart. you moaned and cried unbidden as she worked you through your orgasm, which felt twice as powerful thanks to the intoxication factor. your body shook in the grip of seemingly endless waves of heat.
your climax eventually died down and you squirmed away from melissa's touch. your mouth opened in dismay when instead of staying by your side, she stood up and disappeared into her closet.
after a short while, the older woman reappeared by your side. she was now nude and sporting a long, girthy strap-on. she placed a few other items on the nightstand, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from the thick faux cock. unless it was to look at her gorgeous tits, which swung with her every move. she was a goddess.
"okay, sweets, i'm gonna spell this out nice and slow because i know your brain is a little messy right now," she said as she crawled on top of you. "i'm gonna fuck you with my strap. and i know it's so big, but i have this to help you take it."
melissa reached over to the nightstand and retrieved a green mini wand vibrator. her intentions were clear, and you gulped. the redhead peppered kisses all over your face in reassurance.
"now relax, little love. let me in," melissa instructed as the wand buzzed to life. she smeared your wetness around your clit with her fingers, then pulled back its hood to position the vibrator tightly against your nub. even the lowest setting was a shock at such a direct angle.
while you were distracted trying to adjust to the clitoral stimulation, melissa aligned the tip of the dildo with your entrance and pushed in. you both groaned, and you felt yourself stretch around the toy. melissa turned up the vibrations on your clit as she progressed to being fully seated inside you.
"that's a good girl, so brave," melissa cooed. you thrashed underneath her, the sensations overstimulating you. the pain of the intrusion staved off a powerful orgasm from the wand vibrator.
again, you wondered if the drugs were messing with your mind—the dildo felt indistinguishable from a part of mel's body, and you were full to the brim of her.
as she began to rock her hips back and forth, you saw her bite her lip. you assumed that the strap had some kind of clit attachment for her based on the telltale signs of pleasure.
melissa built up a steady rhythm and drank in your pathetic sounds of pleasure. her tits swung in your face with every thrust, and you made a mental note to give them proper attention next time. with another tactical increase to the wand's speed, you felt yourself approaching the edge once more.
"you gettin' close? yeah, i can tell. feels too good to hide it, huh bunny?" that was a new one. you clenched at her words and she set the wand to its maximum power, rubbing it up and down on your clit. your vision went white and you spun out of reality as you came. "that's my girl. good little princess, coming so hard for me."
with a few more thrusts, melissa also came to a release. she shuddered and shimmied her hips at random while she rode it out. as soon as she recovered, she turned off the green wand and relieved you. next, she eased herself out of and off of you.
with a chaste peck to your lips, she sat upright and reached for the nightstand. she smiled at your fucked-out expression as she laid out the pajamas she'd picked out for you.
you watched in awe as she took off the strap and put on her own sleep clothes. her red hair was wild from the night's activities and glowed like a warm hearth against the white backdrop of her walls.
in your state, you wanted nothing more than to cuddle up with melissa and fall asleep. but she insisted that you get ready for bed so that you'd be comfortable through the night. she guided you into the bathroom and gave you a new toothbrush to use.
returning to the bedroom, you found a silky green nightgown with flowers on it waiting on the bed for you. given your exhausted and intoxicated state, melissa had to help you into it. neither of you minded. as a reward for your cooperation, she gave you a kiss.
the two of you snuggled into bed, tucked in together with you curled up against her chest. the tides of slumber lapped at your feet.
"g'night, lovebug," melissa whispered as you drifted off. "sleep well. see you in the morning."
and tomorrow would be the first of a lifetime of tomorrows waking up in her arms.
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am-i-interrupting · 8 months ago
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Making Self Deprecating Jokes Around Them
For @aliceneedsphalis
Alastor
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Before you got together, he’d chuckle at the jokes but as he started to care about you the laughter would begin to fade.
He’d begin to ask the question, “Who made you think of yourself this way?”
If you could give him the name of people, expect them to be gone when he “crosses paths” with them.
It’s completely unrelated to what you revealed, he promises.
No, no, he just happened to stumble upon them acting a fool and decided to set them straight is all.
It wasn’t until you got together that he started to refute your “jokes.”
The first time he gave a gentle flick to the back of your head, you turned to him gobsmacked.
“Why did you do that?!” “I have rules, my dear, and one of those is to not let the object of my affections talk bad about themselves.”
At some point, you just expect it.
On occasion, you’ll say something and expect it only to not get it.
“What are you doing?” “I’m waiting on you to flick the back of my head.” “Why is that? I do have a sense of humor.”
He’ll wait until you let your guard down and then flick your head as he walks by. It’s no fun if you know it’s coming.
He does try to build your confidence though.
Randomly he’ll pop into your room with a list, a list of all the negative things you’ve said about yourself.
He’ll hold you in front of a mirror and make you look at both yourself and him as he praises what you’ve unconsciously revealed you dislike.
He doesn’t hold back his amusement as he watches you squirm.
Husk
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He lets you make the jokes even if he doesn’t like them.
He’s not going to laugh. He barely even reacts.
One day though, he’ll let slip how he feels.
“Do you really think it’s funny, hating yourself? Because I don’t. You cope however you need to. I’m not going to blame you for that but it hurts to see someone I care about so much treat themself so badly.”
He might team up with Charlie or Hell, even Rosie to try to figure out a way to change your coping though.
It’s not overt but more so an offering of different ways for you to cope instead. Giving you more options than the one you have even if you still fall to the crutch.
He’s not one who’s too much of a fan of PDA, much less words of affirmation in public.
In private though, he’s constantly building you up.
He whispers how beautiful, funny, insightful, and strong he thinks you are.
He’ll be half asleep and playing with your hair, watching it weave through his claws, as he looks at you with pupils so blown they take over all the color and go on about how lucky he is to have you.
Rosie
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“Now why would ya say that about yourself, hon?” is what she asks the first time you make a joke of that kind.
She wants to help you get to the root of your problems.
She’s going to subtly break into your walls and get the damn to break that holds all the secrets to why you feel this way.
She may or may not give Alastor some names if she hears them.
She might get some kind of positivity train going.
One day you just get a bunch of letters and gifts from friends that explain how much they appreciate and care for you. When you wonder aloud if there’s any special occasion you missed, Rosie just shrugs.
She is a bragger by nature, I believe, but she’d take care to make sure you were in ear shot if she could when she starts bragging about you.
She wants you to know how much she truly cares and appreciates you.
She’ll let everyone else know in the process though.
Vox
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This man did not give a single flying fuck about how you saw yourself until he started caring about you in an intimate way.
It’s not that it didn’t bother him before but it didn’t bother him enough for him to make time to do something about it.
He’s a busy man and he’s used to being surrounded by people (*cough cough* Valentino *cough cough*) who will talk his ears off about their problems that he doesn’t actually care about.
He’s not just going to make you spill why you see yourself the way you do without a good enough reason.
He might even laugh at some.
He is a nervous/uncomfortable laughs though so just because he laughs doesn’t mean he finds it funny.
Even when you start dating, he’s not going to ask you why. He’s just going to listen to you ramble about your life and death and out pieces together.
Certain people he looks for on his camera and they disappear.
Aside from singing your praises and showering you with gifts though, he doesn’t really know what to do.
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marilynthornhilllover · 5 months ago
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I know that you love me, you don't need to remind me,
Emily. P x Jennifer. J x Fem!Reader
Warning: talk of drug consumption, reader is high, mood swings, use of guns (weed) , bad flirting, mommy kink, praise kink, teasing, cringe kiss etc .
A/n: I saw that new jennifer and emily episode where Emily was high and they were so cute! Had to make a fic😌
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It was that quite long awaited time of the year where criminal agents are given two weeks off from work. You were beyond exhausted but nevertheless was very happy to finally be able to take off your FBI vest and feeling relieved that you won't have to be picking it up for another week or so.
You soon realized that you literally didn't have plans arranged for the upcoming two weeks ahead, or even tonight. Everyone was pairing up as they packed up their office stuff and headed out. Spencer and Derek laughed and gave eachother a high five as they made their way downstairs to sign out while Emily and jj were already giggling about some random joke as they continued to pack up.
You nervously decided to walk up to them standing in the corridor like a shadow making sure not to seem creepy— but maybe you were doing the opposite. Ever since you joined the team, yes you did make friends but no one ever went the extra mile to offer to hang out with you. Only Emily would now and then eat lunch with you at her desk.
Jennifer wasn't bad either, she did offer to help you with a case file once, you went over to her house which you complimented her for the cozy interior, and yes the boys were also good to you but on a employee holiday like this no one was paying any attention whatsoever to you. They already plans of their own.
You on the other hand, had none, all you were gonna do was shower, eat, sleep and repeat for the next week or so. Nothing productive, not as if you had anything to do either. Prentiss and Mantegna had insisted that someone help you with case files so its not as if you have a major cade to crack over the holiday.
You were as free as a bird and your energetic self needed something to reinforce that energy into. If you could have went on a cruise for two weeks you definitely would have.
Emily scoffed at Jennifer's joke before turning around and spotting you cuddled up in the corner like a little mouse. She tilted her head to the side before approaching you with a warm smile.
" hey hon, you got any plans for the holiday?" She asked chewing a piece of gum that she had been for the entire day — somtimes you wonder if any flavour at all is still existence in it.
" uhh nope, but I'll sure my couch has plans for me though" you said sarcastically and of course she laughed, because Emily laughs at anything and everything which you did find cute. Emily always made sure that she kept everyone at a level where they felt at their absolute best when around her.
She was never mean to anyone really. Always funny, ambitious, smart and talented she was everything. Sometimes her aura was just too high, but she was always still approachable and not prideful.
Emily was like one of those drugs that you couldn't stop using because it feels too good, and when you do take it, it altars with your entire brain function and chemistry.
And speaking of chemistry, that was something you and Emily had alot of. Everytime her eyes made contact with yours, you felt as if your body was thrown into the deepest pits of hell. You'd get shivers everytime she passed you or called you a pet name. You'd go completely weak in your knees when she made the littlest amount of psychical contact with your skin — it was absolutely ridiculous just how easily she could get under your skin.
Or the time when you were making coffee in the kitchen and she needed to grab something from the top shelf and she moved you by putting her hands on your hips, with her chest pressed so closely against your back with face by your neck.
Emily made you question things. You knew you always had a thing for older women, always, since highschool and it never seemed to go away. And Emily was exactly your type, you just weren't sure if she felt the same way in return and you didn't wanna ruin the amazing friendship you both had by letting your stupid emotions and hormones get the best of yourself.
" well I'm sure you'll find something to entertain yourself, JJ and I are hooking up at her place tonight for snacks and a movie" she placed hands on her hips are she turned to look at jj who was texting away on her phone before turning back to you. You gaved her a akward smile, before a breathy nervous laugh escaped your mouth.
" hooking up huh" you saw as her eye brows quirked before a sly smile came into evidence on her face and quickly glanced at Jennifer who was now angrily texting before taking a step closer towards you, closing the the last gap space that was there. Her body heat and perfume over took your senses making your breath hitch.
You pressed your palm against her chest sneaking a quick glance at jj and the camera above. Emily was looking at you with a teasing smirk, she leaned down besides your ear and whispered.
" do wanna hook up with me as well?" She pulled back to see the reaction on your face and just as she imagined it was absolutely priceless. She chuckled before pulling away completely.
" oh my God emily would you leave poor y/n alone, let's go already" Jennifer said with a tint of exhaustion and annoyance her voice. Emily chuckled before gently caressing your cheek. The both women waved you goodbye before departing and going their way.
You sighed before picking up your bag and leaving, you locked your office door and went home. You did decided to walk with a few case files home and evidence objects to keep yourself busy during the holiday to stop yourself from going insane from the intense boredom you were prone to have.
— — — —
Emily and Jennifer had just sat down and were about to enjoy their late afternoon with wine and salt and vinegar chips when a continuation of loud knocking could be heard on jj's front door. Both women looked at eachother with utter confusion on their faces — the weren't expecting anyone. Jennifer decided to get up and go check the door, Emily following closely behind with her hand placed tightly on her gun.
The door bell soon started ringing along with the knocks which triggered Jennifer even more. Unlocking the door Jennifer threw it open, not caring what stood on the opposite side of it, after all emily was ready to protect her best friend at all cost, even if it meant shooting someone in their foor.
" if I had my way I swear I would—" as soon as she saw you she stopped talking, her eye brows quirked as she squinted her eyes to make a better appearance of your face in the dim moon light. Emily let out a soft sigh when she saw you but quickly went back into a state of worry at the same time.
Now you had both women wondering what you were doing at their house.
" y/n? I didn't know you were coming over, did Emily invite you?" Jennifer turned around hoping to get a confirmation nod from Emily but she shook her head and pursed her lips, letting her know she was just as confused as her.
" Well aren't you guys a bit rude, aren't you gonna invite me in?" You muttered but before they could react you let yourself in. You carefully walked down the long fancy corridor switching off some lights on your way because they made your eyes burn, making your way to the living room area, having knowing your way around jj's house since the last two times you were there.
You stumbled over the coffee table and landed right onto the sofa, face first with a soft groan. You dropped the ziplock bag of cheese puffs you had brought onto the floor.
She walked up to you and you and sat beside you on the couch, she picked you up by both your forearms and made you look at her.
Both women side eyed eachother, both in desperate need to know what on God's green earth was going on. Jennifer leaned against the wall to further scrutinize you. Emily on the other hand was just worried how you got here on your own with no car or phone.
" hey y/n sweetie are you..... drunk?" Her voice sounded like when water got into a phone speaker and you tried to play a song— you couldn't understand it. You rubbed your eyes and glanced at the table to which your face instantly lit up when you saw the salt and vinegar lays chips.
You grabbed them ferociously then took out some chopsticks you had stuffed in the back pocket of your jeans and started eating the chips. At this point both women were flabbergasted, mouths open, jaws dropped. Jennifer took a deep breath before she turned around and went to her fridge to grab you a drink to help you sober up because it was crystal clear that you were beyond drunk, drunk was an understatement.
" what time is it?" You suddenly asked putting the chips down and dusting off your hands.
" time for some hydration, here you go" Jennifer said as she passed you a bottle of cold cranberry juice. Once again your face lit up like a child on Christmas day.
" ohhhh, it's got what plants crave!" You exclaimed. The look on Jennifer's face when you said that was priceless as Emily silently continued to look at you with a completely blanket stare.
You placed the bottle of juice at the side of your head as if it was an ice pack and burped. You cleared your throat before speaking up again.
" have you guys seen that movie! Idiot city!.... wait city Idiot... wait... yeah" it's like your body was replaced with a child's and this called for huge concern. Emily sighed heavily and took the bottle from your hand.
" Idiocracy?" Jennifer whispered and you nodded.
" I knew I liked you! Ohhh, I and on my way here I saw a cat jumping off your house roof then it turned into a dog and flew away as a mosquito" you said before the loudest laugh took you over that you almost started crying.
Emily whispered " oh good lord" before she shook her head, Jennifer was still completely and totally lost for words. Jennifer had a feeling that being drunk would not cause someone to behave like this— well of course she knew, she's a profiler. She had a feeling you were high, but she didn't want you to act out and she would need proof for Emily because knowing her she wouldn't believe for a minute you would do drugs.
" umm y/n what's in the bag?" Jennifer asked and your eyebrows quirked, you placed your finger at you ear urging her to repeat even though she was so damn close to you.
" What's in the bag" she repeated as she dragged her words this time. You shrugged.
" I don't know what time the supermarket closes" emily stood up and walked towards to kitchen to grab her phone, you had the agent stressed. Jennifer just took it upon herself to grab the bag of " cheese puffs" before she walked towards emily.
" look I know you may not believe but I have a pretty good feeling that, that girl right there is literally the profound definition of what we call high" emily scoffed.
" Oh come on, she probably had too much wine I mean weren't we just about to drink wine as well?" She restated trying to convince Jennifer, but honestly to this rate she just couldn't, Jennifer was already convinced from her own opinion.
" emily elizabeth prentiss which wine do you know makes someone this drunk?" Jennifer asked, emphasizing on the last two words of her sentence. Emily shrugged before looking back at you, who was now sniffing the air every two seconds like a curious dog. Jennifer rolled her eyes before opening the bag of cheese puffs and taking a sniff.
She gaged before pulling away quickly.
" this smells like straight up weed!" She swiftly turned to let Emily have a sniff, to which Emily pulled away as well. Jennifer closed the bag and turned it around where there was writing in black. " DO NOT OPEN, CONTAINS CASE 101 EVIDENCE".
" you ate the case evidence! Oh my god!" Jennifer looked like she was going to erupt like a volcano and her high pitched tone of voice was making your head hurt and ears ring.
" I was hungry, and I didn't know that they were edibles" you whispered as you squinted your eyes since it was getting harder to see. Jennifer looked at you in disbelief as she turned to Emily for back up. Before Emily could utter a word Jennifer was already furious.
" Emily, don't even! She basically ate the entire bag!" She shouted. She saided pacing the room with her fingers gently massaging her temple to calm her.
" what are we gonna tell hotch, or even worst David" Jennifer covered her face with her both her hands before leaning over the kitchen counter.
" Well I mean, she probably just ate the backup stash, it should be fine, we should really be worrying about is her health" emily muttered scratching her head. Jennifer looked up at emily as her jaw dropped.
" your defending her?!" Emily raised her hands in defense but before she could reply Jennifer took the chance.
" I seriously cannot believe you right now!" Jennifer once again, started pacing the room, this time even more quicker.
" Oh come on jj, what are the odds that people make silly mistakes like these?" Jennifer stopped, and looked at emily with wide eyes.
" Well with the odds as high as her I'd say zero!" She said angrily before picking up her phone.
Emily sighed before looking over at you who was now eating the chips and gnawing your teeth wildly making crumbs fall all over the place. In a way Emily felt bad for you, mostly pity because she knew what you did was down right stupid but Jennifer was being a tadbit too harsh on you in your current position — knowing you couldn't properly comprehend the situation or what was going on.
" ok I'll take her home and we can speak to the team about this tomorrow when y/n is a better state of mind, ok?" Emily said in a reassuring voice. Jennifer sighed in frustration before biting her lip and nodding approvingly.
Emily carefully picked you up off the couch and wrapped her arm around your waist as she insisted to take you home safely. Her body warmth was comforting and her perfume was like a lullaby putting you to sleep this time. You melted in her embrace as she took you outside.
Your vision was blurred and the cold air on your skin — although you had a jacket on, was making you shiver. Seeing this emily hugged you tighter. She opened the door to her wagon and assisted you into the passenger seat and putting on your seat belt for you. You looked at her, she looked like one of those ancient paintings,the ones you can't withdraw your eyes from, the Renaissance ones.
You weren't sure if maybe it was the drugs or the hormones that came after taking the drugs but you felt the need to kiss emily, your eyes flicked down to her lips that were slightly parted as she concentrated on getting the seatbelt to adjust to your liking. Her smooth skin and wrinkled lines that ran across her forehead and eye line area, her little cute eye bags from all the hard work she does.
You couldn't resist the urge, she was a drug, she was your drug. You licked your lips and leaned in. Your lips connected with hers in a slow soft kiss. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to enjoy the moment. Emily didn't pull away, she was surprised yes, but she didn't pull away. Emily couldn't cover up the feeling she felt for you but she also didn't want to take advantage of your drunken state.
Taking it that she was enjoying it as much as you, you tried to force your tongue into her mouth but that's when she pulled away. Your brows furrowed and for a moment the drugs may have returned your common sense and you realized what you did — what you were trying to do. And soon the embarrassment and cringe settled in.
" sorry, oh God I'm so stupid!" You whispered as you fought back tears, you covered your face with both hands and started sobbing. Emily sprinted around to the drivers seat to comfort you. She gently peeled your hands away from your face, holding your palms in hers she caressed them with her knuckles softly. You sniffed and shook your head in denial before looking out the window.
" hey, sweetheart look at me please" her voice was as soft as an angel and so gentle as if you were something valuable that could be broken, that's something you loved about emily, she was so comforting in all circumstances, no matter what. She placed her hand under your jaw and turned you to look at her. She stared at you with her cute Bambi eyes so filled of love, and she so badly wanted to say " I love you" but she knew you wouldn't be able to comprehend them.
" look y/n, i wanna— kiss you back but I can't. That doesn't mean I don't want to, I just want you to be able to give me your full sober concent." She spoke as slowly and clearly as possible so you won't misinterpret anything.
" and your not stupid, we all make mistakes my love. Once I accidentally— well I got drunk the morning of my Law exams and failed them, and that did set me at a disadvantage for my career but I still made it into this job" she continued to rub your knuckles and wip every tear that fell from your eyes.
" and this joke takes y/n, but it also gives.... it gave—" she took a deep breath before exhaling heavily. " it gave me you." Hearing these words made your heart flutter souly. Your little smile came across your face which emily mirrored.
" now, my sweet girl, my I take you home?" She spoke in a old French accent waving her hand a fancy motion, You both laughed until you were out of air. after the laughter died down She chuckled and placed a hand on your thigh squeezing the tender flesh which made your breath hitch.
The drive home was long but certainly not quiet at all, you and Emily blasted high 2000s music all the way until she arrived at your home. You knew there was gonna be alot to discuss the next day but you should be fine once you have emily by your side.
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skxllz · 9 months ago
Note
Hi! IDK IF YOUR TAKING REQUESTS BUT IM GONNA SEND ONE ANYWAY AND YOU DONT HAVE TO DO IT IF YOU ARENT TAKING REQUESTS
Can you do Lucifer, Alastor and whoever else you wanna add with a reader who just swallows/eats anything/weird things?
A piece of tissue? Sure! Plastic? Yippee! A pebble? Why not! Keys? Yummy! A rubber duck? Quack quack! A piece of Alastors cane? Don’t kill me!!
I'm not currently taking requests but I'll do this for you hon <3 I apologize if it doesn't live up to your expectations!
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫 & 𝐯𝐨𝐱 𝐟𝐭...
𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬
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🐤 - 𝚕𝚞𝚌𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚛
➳ when you two first started dating - scratch that, first started talking, he picked up on the fact that you had random quirks. bored? you'd make random noises. sometimes, you'd lay on the floor just to lay there. for no reason, you'd hang upside down on the couches in the foyer. —he once questioned you and you said, I quote, “ I want to feel the blood rush to my head, it's fun. ”— to say the least, you puzzled him, but he brushed it off because who wasn't an oddball in hell?
➳ now, when you actually started dating and you got more comfortable is when he noticed some of his rubber ducks missing - and not just the ducks, but rather some of the things he used on them as well. glue, for example.
➳ “ hey, um, sweetie? ” he approached you one day, quite confused from where his things were suddenly disappearing to. you hummed in reply, looking up from your phone. lucifer blinked at you slowly, trying to come up with a way to word his sentence without seeming like he was accusing you of anything. “ have you seen my glue? the kind I use for- ” — “ no. ” you had answered too quickly for his liking.
➳ as the days carried on, more of his shit would vanish. it got to the point where it'd frustrate him. it wasn't until one day, where his latest creation knocked off of his desk and rolled under it, did he find one of the ducks he had been looking for. except... it had a bite mark taken out of it...
➳ lucifer was dubbed shocked. his eyes widened, lips pulled down in a duck-lipped press. what in the seven rings of hell? he's never seen anything like this, and he doesn't own a hell hound, so who-
➳ and then his mind drifted to you.
➳ he recalled your weird behaviour; the way you were sweating nervously and avoiding eye contact. he should've known you had something to do with it.
➳ but to eat his rubber ducks? he's going to have a serious talk with you about your diet.
+++
📻 - 𝚊𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛
➳ this radio demon didn't really show interest in you at first. you seemed innocent - too innocent, but still innocent, and that just didn't catch his attention in the slightest. if anything, you seemed bothersome.
➳ I'd like to think he first took interest in you when vaggie found a corner of the end of her spear broken off. no one dared touched it before, and you were new to the hotel - it didn't take a genius to put two and two together. but I guess, in a sense, no one else suspected you since you never bothered anything else.
➳ one night, when almost everyone was asleep, you snuck off to the kitchen to find something to eat. you were starving since you hadn't had dinner and couldn't really bother to just fall asleep on an empty stomach. a certain radio demon had followed you, startling you out of your wits as you turned around only to spot him there. “ funny to see you awake, dear! ”
➳ you explained to him, nervously, that you couldn't sleep. he hummed, pretending to show he was listening, before skipping right to the point of why exactly he was there. “ I couldn't help but realize that, earlier today when our dearest vaggie was rather upset, you hadn't moved an inch from your spot on the sofa. in fact, you seemed almost... ” he paused, pretending to ponder, his smile widening. “ guilty. care to explain the reasoning for that, hm? ”
➳ at that point, you were avoiding eye contact. hands twined behind your back, thumbs twiddling out of anxiousness, you searched for an excuse through your jumbled brain, attempting to think of absolutely anything just to slip away from alastor. but knowing him, he'd probably see right through the charade - he's been around way longer than you, and is a mastermind at getting into people's heads. no doubt he'd figure out you fibbed. — “ I just felt guilty that I couldn't help at all. vaggie is a close friend, I hate to see her upset. ”
➳ instead of buying the lie, like you had predicted, the bob-wearing demon leaned down and gave you a close-lipped grin; half lidded eyes flashing dangerously beneath the light that gleamed from atop the stove. “ or is it because, perhaps, you had something to do with it? ”
➳ that's when you blurted out. “ I ate it. ” and, much too afraid to gouge alastor's reaction, you turned and took off running out of the kitchen.
➳ if you would've stayed, however, you would've seen the way alastor's eyes momentarily widened. he was.. shocked, to say the least. he didn't think he had heard you right at first, but he knew for certain his ears didn't deceive him.
➳ with his narrowed eyes now staring after your figure, he straightened his posture, folding his hands behind his back and humming to himself. “ interesting creature, they are... ”
➳ you have now caught his attention. expect more interactions with the infamous deer!
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📺 - 𝚟𝚘𝚡
➳ picture this; you're one of velvette's models. you're dating vox, her business partner. they're both aware of how weird you can be, and yet, they both seem to favorite you - hell, even val (but let's face it, he just wants you for your body, which isn't going to happen).
➳ you're in the middle of getting your hair prepped and straightened when you had the sudden urge to just chew. it always came on randomly, but most of the time when you were bored. sitting in a chair, with sprits blasting into your face and hair utensils tugging in your hair, and hell forbid you weren't allowed to move- it was not exactly fun. so you started to eye the new collection of makeup sponges that were just set upon your personal vanity.
➳ they looked squishy, flimsy, chewable... oh so tempting. so while rachelle, your hairstylist, was busy talking her head off, too busy to notice you stretching your arm forward, you snatched one up.
➳ velvette came strutting down the midst of the aisle with a firm hand on her hip and a ripple in the center of her brow, shouting at many of the other stylists on what to do, what not to do - what looked better on her models, what looked cheap. she could not afford to have her best women looking as if they escaped the hands of a hellhound, it just wouldn't do. but that's when she turned, pointing a demanding finger at rachelle to amp up the heat on your straightener because the ends of your hair were curling up. that's also when she noticed you not only chewing on the newly bought sponge, but eating it.
➳ “ oh for fuck sake! ” the dark-skinned demon spewed, catching your attention and making you freeze. velvette reached an arm forward, only to wrap her digits around what was left of the sponge and rip it from your grasp. your chair turned on cue, showing you sheepishly smiling at the fuming female. “ I told you not to stuff your damn mouth full of random shit! especially my new makeup equipment — ” she turned away, stomping her healed foot to the ground. “ fuck! ”
➳ it wasn't long before vox had arrived before the demoness due to her calling him and shouting profanities over the phone. you were left to sit in the chair, huffing nonsense under your breath, while rachelle finished with your hair in silence.
➳ when the overlord made his presence known, rachelle excused herself — and thankfully she had finished your hair. “ y/n, dear.. ” vox smoothly spoke, for once not sounding like an overly cocky twat. it's usually only in the presence of others, but given that not many people were around, he dialed a softer tone with you.
➳ “ I didn't do anything, ” you rolled your eyes, looking away with a puffed out frown. yes, you were spoiled, but who wouldn't be, dating the owner and inventor of voxtech?
➳ vox sharply looked down at you, eyeing you with a sense of irritance —for angering velvette— but fondness —because you're his—. “ don't be like that. how many times have we talked about eating random things, hm? ”
➳ “ ... about- fifty nine? I lost count. ”
➳ “ around there. ” the tv demon moved, placing his hands on the back of the swivel chair you sat upon, while now holding eye contact with you through the mirror to your vanity. “ and what have we talked about, sweetheart? ”
➳ you were silent at first. staring him down, eyes hooded and ghosted over with annoyance. it was irritating how he was speaking to you like a child. “ well? ” vox impatiently, patiently, questioned; his claws dragging along the back of the chair, only to glide over your nape. closing your eyes out of bliss from the movement, you sighed. “ don't eat random things because they're bad for me... ”
➳ “ exactly. ” vox mischievously smiled down to you, squeezing the back of your neck gently. “ now, don't you think you owe velvette an apology? ”
➳ as you nod your head, vox releases his grip on you, letting your hair fall back down against your skin. “ good. come now, we have to get that out of the way; I have things to discuss with you. ”
➳ your discussion ended pretty well :).
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exodusin · 4 months ago
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♱ — 𝖌𝖆𝖗𝖉𝖊𝖓𝖘 𝖎𝖓 𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖍𝖆𝖎𝖗 𖤐 bill cipher x mermaid!reader ; triangle bill only in this blog, no twinkifacation of the nation, bill is an ass but we love him the way he is. Bill is obsessed with you in his own way, bill calls reader ‘Bubbles’
* ੈ✩‧₊˚
You swam gracefully through the clear, turquoise waters, your (favorite color) tail shimmering as you moved. Reaching the surface, you rested on a large boulder, gazing out at the gentle waves as the cool wind caressed your wet skin and hair.
Suddenly, you felt a starfish being placed a the side of your your hair, followed by a familiar maniacal laugh.
"Well, well, what do we have here? A perfect complement to my little tuna!"
Bill Cipher, your mischievous boyfriend, hovered beside you, his single eye gleaming with amusement.
"Bill, leave Astronomy alone," you groan, gently removing the starfish, Astronomy, from your hair and returning it to the water.
"Aw, come on, don't be like that, bubbles," Bill said, snapping his fingers. A hairbrush appeared, and he began to untangle the knots in your hair. "This wild mane of yours needs some taming, don't you think?"
"Ow!" you yelped, wincing as he worked through a particularly stubborn tangle. "Is it really that bad?"
Bill chuckled, his eye crinkling with mirth. "That bad? It's downright terrible! But not to worry, your handsome boyfriend will fix it up in no time."
You tensed as you heard the snip of scissors, quickly turning your head to stop him. "Oh, no, you don't! That's not happening!"
Diving back into the water, you swam away, but Bill's magic quickly pulled you back to the boulder.
"Aw, come on, my sweet bubbles," he said, rubbing your head. "It's just a little hair. You know I have the power to make it grow back, good as new."
Before you could protest, Bill swiftly cut off the tangled chunk, and you cringed at the uneven layers. But in a blink, the hair magically grew back, looking as beautiful as it had been before.
"They’re, all better," Bill said, a satisfied ‘smile’ on his ‘face’ or triangle body. He then began to style your hair, carefully placing pearls, magnolias, and small seashells throughout the strands.
"Look at you, my lovely little mermaid," he said, admiring his handiwork. "Everyone, give me a round of applause for my work for making the beautiful (name)’s hair unknotted!"
With a wave of his hand, Bill summoned nearby fish and dolphins, using his magic to bring them out of the water and have them praise him.
"Bill, wait!" you exclaimed. "They can't breathe out of the water!"
Bill groaned and released the creatures, who quickly swam back to the safety of the ocean.
"Ah, yes, the good old mermaid concern," Bill said, his eye rolling as he placed his hands on his ‘hips’. "But remember that time you bit that dolphin's tail? Priceless!"
You smirked, remembering the incident. "He tasted funny, but hon, you can't do that. Sea creatures can't breathe air."
"Then you must be a sea goddess, my dear," Bill said, his eyelid forming into lips as he began to shower your hand and arm with kisses, working his way up to your hair. "Because you can breathe both air and water."
You smiled and blushed, reveling in his affectionate gestures. "What are you doing, hon?"
"Worshipping you, of course," Bill replied, his tone playful yet sincere. "What else?"
As you sighed in bliss, unaware, Bill secretly collected a strand of your hair, along with a piece of your gill and a piece of jewelry you had "lost." He would treasure these mementos, keeping them safe in a special book, where he could indulge in their magical scent whenever he was alone.
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twiixr4kidz · 1 year ago
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PRAYING YOU GIVE US SOME THE EVIL EXES X A DUMBASS S/O PLEASEEEE
Like they're so dumb it's not a joke- like imagine Roxy asking her s/o about the menu at a restaurant they're going to and they go "babe....I'm a lesbian." And it takes a full FIVE MINUTES for them to figure out what she meant
OMG YES i am a certified dumbass so this was very easy to write
matthew patel:
listen....... he gets it
he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed
it's like when you're around each other, your brain cells disappear
most discussions end in the two of you looking at each other, very confused, whatever conversation you were having being long forgotten
he doesn't mind re-explaining thinsg to you if you don't understand them
he thinks it's kinda cute honestly
lucas lee:
he is the himbo-est himbo to ever himbo
honestly most of ramona's exes are dumb but in different endearing ways
i can tell you for a fact that he'll tease you for one thing and then proceed to do it immediately after without even realizing
OR HE'LL TRY TO LIKE SHOW YOU WHAT YOU WERE DOING WRONG AND HOW TO FIX IT AND THEN HE MESSES IT UP HIMSELF LMFAO
"babe, that's not how you do a kickflip. THIS is." (he bails and breaks his board)
todd ingram:
todd is probably one of the most confused people you will ever meet
sometimes you say things that completely baffle him
im talking something so dumb his jaw is hanging wide open and he's rendered completely fucking speechless
and you're confused as to why HE'S confused because you thought you explained what you were saying really well
but you very much did not
there are so many conversations you have with him that are cut short because he doesn't know how to respond
"hon... look at me... what?" "huh?" "did you hear a word you just said?" "wait... what did i say?"
roxie richter:
she thinks it's cute!!!
most of the time
other times, she's genuinely concerned for your sanity
"so... whatcha wanna eat?" "babe, im a lesbian" "...what?" "what do you mean what?" "i know... you're a lesbian... i was asking about the food..." "OH"
you cannot hear apparently
she thinks it's funny whenever you do that thing where you hear her but you don't process what she said so you go "what" and then you cut her off when she tries to explain cuz you finally have an answer
she thinks it's HILARIOUS
kyle katayanagi:
he thinks it's hysterical
like you know this motherfucker is the ultimate tease
you don't know the answer to a question? you say something that sounds dumber than you intended it to?
you know damn well he's getting on your case about it
and honestly he loves it
he knows he's smart but he's fascinated by your sheer stupidity
he doesn't mind explaining things to you either
but you aren't getting out of an explanation without him calling you, and i mean this in the most affectionate way possible, a dumbass
ken katayanagi:
he's ALSO very fascinated with the fact that none of your millions of brain cells work
even when it comes to what he thinks is a simple concept, it takes a lot of explaining for you to understand
this is explaining that he doesn't mind doing
maybe his knowledge is just a little TOO advanced
he can never tell if he's the one whose too smart or if it's just your natural dumbness
it confuses him
he's enamored
literally say one dumbass thing around him and he's gonna have you pinned to a wall in the most intense makeout session of your life
gideon graves:
listen... gideon isn't as much of a douche as everyone makes him out to be
he thinks you being dumb is adorable
something about his weird thing for control and how he loves to explain things to you
he doesn't wanna control in a toxic way, let me just get that out there
he just loves how you never seem to know what's going on
god he loves it HE LOVES IT
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deathworlders-of-e24 · 18 days ago
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Liz, Biotechnician
Part 4
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I still can’t get this stupid arm to work right,” Liz groaned. She’d managed to get to the lab on time today, and she’d been able to get dressed herself, but only barely. Her lab coat and uniform were both disheveled, the new bionic hand unable to get every button resulting in half of them being left undone. She’d ended up having to tie her shoe laces in knots to keep them on her feet because her fingers couldn’t bend the way she wanted or grip the thin laces. The only reason Liz was wearing the lab coat these days was to hide the cross section where her arm ended and the cybernetics began. Looking at it was… upsetting, to say the least.
“It’s only been a few cycles, Human Liz,” Coco said. “It’s my understanding that losing limbs is fatal to most other species of non-botanicals. Having the ability to complain right now is a gift.”
“It’s been over a week,” Liz said. “And I know, everyone keeps reminding me I’m lucky to be alive, you, the captain, Jane, I know how lucky I am, but this,” she waved the hunk of metal she called a hand, “is starting to piss me off.”
“You are upset,” Coco said. They were standing beside the center lab table. Liz couldn’t even see the claw marks the predator creature had left on their trunk anymore. “This is to be expected.”
Coco walked over to their wall computer, avoiding the small automated cleaner Liz had made to tidy up the dirt they tracked everywhere.
“Remind me again, this device you have made to remove the dirt, why have you attached a weapon to it?” Coco asked.
“Thought it’d be funny,” Liz said, “which it was.”
“And you have designated it…?”
“Stabby, ‘cause of the steak knife.”
“Why?”
“Old Earth legend. Makes us humans laugh,” Liz said, smiling as she leaned her chin on her good arm.
“You will have to explain that story to me again some time.” Coco clicked a button on their screen and a wall panel slid up between them, revealing the clutch of 5 eggs they’d taken from MX13 sitting in their tank. They were about the size of baseballs, or stone fruits. Liz had stuck a strip of electrical tape on the front and written ‘arm eating bastard eggs’.
“You know I’m half tempted to eat them,” Liz said.
“Please do not engage in predator behavior around me,” Coco asked. “It still makes me nervous sometimes watching you try to swat at insects.”
“Really? Why?” Liz chuckled.
“I know you are more evolved than a simple animal, but when I observe you stalk and hunt down the… mosquitoes? It reminds me of the predators we have on Spryga. It is unsettling.”
Liz stopped and thought for a moment. She hadn’t considered that before. It was probably a normal complaint among former prey species working alongside humans. Whoops.
“Well, sorry. Humans are weird like that, but I’ll try to be more conscious about it,” Liz said.
“Thank you. I do not mean to… step on your hands, but I appreciate it.”
“Step on your toes, hon.”
“Right.”
Liz pulled the tank out of the wall while Coco set the lab up, turning on heat lamps and setting the environmental controls in the room to MX13 standard, except for the air. Upon further analysis of the predator creature from the moon, it didn’t need the methane in the air to breathe. From what was left of its ‘lungs’, they breathed more like frogs, through their skin, stripping oxygen from out of the water they swam in. Apparently they were more reptilian than Liz had expected. There were underground rivers and lakes all across the subsurface of the moon, hunting grounds for the creatures. Liz guessed they came above ground to lay their eggs, away from the competition.
Furry reptiles, Liz thought. Why the hair though? It doesn’t make sense. Maybe to keep warm? The underground water has to be freezing.
“What do you think the GAIL will want to do with them after… if they hatch?” Liz asked.
“Standard procedure would be to return them to their natural habitat after a nano scrub to remove any and all unnatural scent from their bodies, so they can be reaccepted back into their species later,” Coco explained. “But hatchlings would be another question entirely. Perhaps they would be sent to an outpost for further study, or released into a controlled habitat somewhere.”
“What, like a zoo?” Liz asked. “You have zoos in the GAIL?”
“Possibly, I’m not sure what this zoo is.”
“We had them on Earth a long ways back. It was pitched as a way to study animals up close, but it was really just cheap entertainment for the masses. Eventually it kinda grew into a way to help endangered species, but it was still pretty on the line.”
“Then no, we don’t have zoos. What I’m speaking of are rehabilitated planets or moons with an ecosystem created to cater to the needs of the species we simply can’t put back where they are from.”
“That still kinda sounds like a zoo, but I guess if nobody is throwing peanuts at the elephants it’s still an improvement.”
The lab was set up for observation, the eggs were supposedly viable, so while they waited to see what would happen, the two got back to their other work. Reasonably they could’ve just left the eggs in the temperature controlled wall slot, but Liz had said that’d be boring, considering it was ‘the most she’d ever paid for less than a full carton of eggs.’
Coco stepped into their pot and watched the eggs, Liz in her desk chair tinkering with her new arm. She was sure if she could just get the pathways right, she’d be able to get the thing working properly. The cable running from her arm to her computer was annoyingly equated to a leash in her mind.
If I could just open a can of soda by myself, that’d be a huge win.
As they sat there doing important scientific work, there was a knock at the door.
“Come in,” Coco said, unmoving in their corner. The door opened and, oddly enough, another human walked in. He stood just inside the doorway looking around sheepishly. Liz glanced at him and was surprised to see a maintenance droid sitting on his shoulder.
“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you guys, uhh, I’m Thomas, from engineering,” said the man.
“Well, hi, I guess,” Liz said, a little confused. “What are you doing all the way up here Thomas? We didn’t make any maintenance requests.”
“No, you didn’t, but I think you need one anyway,” Thomas said. “See, I was just in the med bay for the last couple cycles, and I overheard the nurses talking about the human who needed a cybernetic arm. I’m assuming that was you and not one of the other two, right?”
“What gave it away?” Liz said dryly, waving her metal hand. “And what are you doing, asking about me anyway? You want to see the robot arm or something, get an upgrade for your little buddy there?”
“Oh, no no no, I’m sorry, I just figured you’d need the fix for it,” Thomas said. He walked further into the room, albeit cautiously. “I asked about the model arm they gave you, the MK6, and there’s a small chance the one you have has a problem.”
“… huh?” Liz said, actually confused now.
“Yeah, the MK6 is a great design, but the company putting out the arms had a faulty inspection system, a couple hundred came off the line with a bug in the wiring.”
“I’ve ran a dozen tests on this thing, I would’ve found any code defect.”
“No, I mean, an actual insect, little crawly thing, in the arm. The factory where they were made had a pest problem so they were fumigating for a while. The whole plant is totally automated, so they didn’t stop production while they did it. Bugs went everywhere trying to escape, and some went into the product to avoid the pesticides. Prosthetics got sealed up, and so did the bugs. It’s probably gunked up the wiring in your arm, that’s why you can’t… you know,” Thomas explained, gesturing to her uniform.
“There… there’s a bug in my fucking arm?” Liz said, disgusted.
“I’m just saying there might be,” Thomas said, hands up like he was going to defend himself.
“Beep.”
“Yeah, I know buddy, but we gotta get permission first.”
“Did the small drone speak?” Coco asked.
“Oh my god you’re a Sprygan!” Thomas said, surprised. “I’m so sorry, I thought you were just a houseplant.”
“It’s no problem, I am not offended,” Coco said.
“Uhh, yeah, his name is Roomba, he asked why we don’t just fix the arm and go. We’re still learning patience and manners, apparently.”
“Beep.”
“Apology accepted. Thank you Roomba.”
“Can somebody just check my arm for bugs now please, before I throw up?” Liz half squealed, panicking. She could charge a hostile alien creature no problem, but the thought of insects touching her was enough to make her stomach churn.
“Yup, right, okay, gimme a sec,” Thomas said, coming into the room fully now. “Roll your sleeve up, I gotta remove the casing for this.”
Liz rolled the sleeve of her lab coat up past her elbow, grimacing as she caught sight of the connection plate set into the bone. The skin around it was still red and scarring.
Thomas pulled a small set of tools out of his back pocket and got to work. With a thin pick, he popped the forearm plate up, exposing the circuits running the length of the device, what Liz had in place of muscle tissue now. He took a small pair of needle nose pliers and started poking around, gently moving aside some wires here, around a bolt there. Liz turned her head away. As fascinating as the mechanism was, the idea of seeing an insect inside her body was going to make her sick.
“Okay, talk, bot boy, how come you knew about the defects?” Liz demanded. “I need stimuli to keep from thinking about this revolting situation, so talk.”
“I, uhh, wrote a paper at the academy, about how designers only see solutions to what they think could be the problem,” Thomas said, moving up her forearm. “A lot of people don’t realize they’re smarter than they give themselves credit for, especially actually smart people. Knowing what could go wrong, they start to doubt themselves, and when things do break, they wrack their brains over all the little things they think they did wrong. So I wrote a paper about all the other things that could go bad… like this little guy right here.”
Thomas clamped onto something and slowly fished it out of the device. Liz turned her head even further away, but it didn’t matter. Coco, ever present, and blunt as always, described it to her.
“It appears quite dead. Human Liz, you seem to have had a beetle of some kind in your prosthetic limb,” they said.
“Hon, I love you, but please don’t tell me the details,” Liz said, covering her mouth with her good hand.
“The lady who designed the MK6 is a certified genius, so I used her factory in my thesis paper. After they started getting complaints about some of their prosthetics, they ran every test they could think of, even rewrote the software a few times. It wasn’t until a no name engineer opened one up that they found the problem. Wasn’t anyone’s fault, it’s just a difference between working software and working hardware.”
“And you wrote an engineering thesis paper on that?” Liz asked, dry heaving ever so slightly.
“No, I wrote my psychology paper on that. I wrote my engineering paper on a new WARP drive design I made up.” Thomas threw the dead insect in the trash. “Bigger brains just see bigger problems. Takes a… well, not dumber person, just maybe a different kind of person to see the small problems.”
“Clearly. Anyone with two degrees isn’t what I’d call dumb either,” Liz said, turning her head back.
Thomas used a little brush to clean up the arm a little, squeezing a small tube of sanitizing gel into the empty space between wires.
“Roomba, sterilize this for me, would you?”
The little drone carefully climbed down from his shoulder and dropped onto the table. It held its little hand up as one of its finger tips ignited, making a small controlled torch. Liz held her arm out, looking concerned. The little droid ran its finger over the affected area and after a moment, the little flame went out.
“Beep.”
“Good job buddy. He said it’s totally clean now, 100% sterilized,” Thomas said.
“Oh thank god,” Liz breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks little guy, I owe you one.”
“Beep.”
“He said you’re welcome,” Thomas translated, handing the small droid a data pad. The pad wirred and trilled, and Liz realized the droid was playing a video game.
Odd little fella, huh, she thought.
“You should be able to get the arm working by the end of the day now. It’s had plenty of time to adjust to your neural pathways, it just couldn’t execute any functions till the block was removed. It’ll work just like your old one now,” Thomas said, putting the little tool kit back in his pocket.
“Guess I should say thanks for that,” Liz said, rolling her sleeve back down. “So… thanks. I owe you one too. Any of you guys down in maintenance need a hand, I’ve got a shiny new one to offer.”
“Human Thomas,” Coco chimed in, “thank you for fixing my friend. Your service has been greatly appreciated.”
“You’re very welcome,” Thomas smiled at them, “both of you. I better get back down to the maintenance deck though, we’re still repairing the core room from that flare the other cycle.” Thomas turned to leave, and was almost at the door when Liz called after him.
“Hey, hardware!”
He stopped in the doorway.
“Weird thing to call me, but I can dig it. Yeah?”
“How many degrees do you have?” Liz asked.
“Four, why?” He said.
“Know anything about eggs?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thomas left after a while, saying he’d be back to help build a better inclosure for the hatchlings. Apparently he’d kept bearded dragons as pets when he was a kid, so he knew at least a little about ‘lizards’.
Liz opened a desk drawer and dug out a stress ball, something Doctor Shaw had given her for rehab, and tried to squeeze it. Amazingly, her metal fingers actually curled and the ball morphed out of shape.
“Finally!” She said. “Coco, look! I can squeeze the ball!”
“That is wonderful, Human Liz,” Coco said, the lit photo bar in their branches feeding them synthetic star light. “The human capacity to overcome body altering trauma is fascinating. In my research of non-botanical life, this is very clearly an exception. Other lifeforms would simply perish from such catastrophic damage.”
“Wait until you hear our bones grow back stronger after they break,” Liz said, laughing.
“They do what?” Coco asked, a note of alarm making its way into their voice synthesizer. Liz cackled, throwing her head back and everything. She felt better than she’d had in days, like whatever funk she’d been in was starting to disappear. She suggested they discuss human bone structure while they go get something to eat, saying Coco could gorge themselves on chocolate while she got a sandwich or something.
The mess hall was lively, and various species meant various different cultures and cuisine, so it always smelt different every few minutes or so. They sat and discussed cellular structures, bone density, and the like, how calcium deposits support bone regeneration for a while, making the broken area stronger than ever, for a time at least. Coco was simultaneously fascinated and terrified. They had no idea non-botanical lifeforms were so resilient in the Terran System.
After some time, and a second sandwich, they made their way back to the lab. They’d just stepped off the lift and were a few feet from the door when Liz heard it.
…scchhtt scchtt sschht…
Something was scratching at the door, low to the floor. Something small.
“Coco wait a minute,” Liz said softly, holding out her good arm in front of the Sprygan.
The door opened… and there was a baby arm eating bastard sitting there, looking up at her. The thing looked almost like a big kitten, except for the gator snout and reptilian limbs. Its body was covered in patchy fur, almost like a baby seal. It looked up at the two of them and chirped like a cat before waddling over, sat on Liz’s foot, and began gnawing on her laces.
“Holy shit,” Liz said. “It’s so ugly I love it.”
“I will go call Human Thomas,” Coco said, “we will need the new enclosure now.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time Thomas arrived, the scientists had found two more Armeaters. “Yeah, one word, that’s what I’m calling them,” Liz had said when asked. One had been crawling around in Coco’s plant pot, and the other was sniffling around under the desks. As for the other two eggs, it seemed the three had…
“You mean they ate the other eggs?” Thomas asked, mildly horrified.
“Yeah, we checked the recordings. They sat looking at the eggs for a bit before they, uhh, kinda just crushed the eggs and ate them scrambled,” Liz explained. She was sitting in her desk chair, covered in Armeaters. Coco didn’t put out any body heat, so the little buggers had decided Liz’s lab coat and uniform were the optimal place to get warmth. It was actually pretty cute, in a weird sort of way, as they were all three purring in a guttural manner.
Thomas rigged the big tank the eggs had been in with a little 3D printed ‘rock’ cave, with some spare dirt the Sprygans had on board. The engineer worked hard to make the enclosure as close to the environment on MX13 as possible. By the time he was finished, they even had a little ‘pool’ made out of a file tub they weren’t using.
The problems started when the humans tried to put the creatures in the tank. They didn’t go for it. The moment Liz tried to set them down, they started whining, making this pew sound, much like baby alligators.
“I do not understand,” Coco said. “Why are they doing this? There is food and water in the enclosure, as well as a heating rock to keep them at the optimal temperature.”
“They probably imprinted on Liz when you walked in,” Thomas said. “Lots of creatures think the first thing they see after they’re born is their parent.”
“That sounds… confusing,” Coco said. “On Spryga, we either sprout from the ground near our progenitor, or we are sometimes an offshoot of them when branches or limbs break off and take root on their own.”
“This is just great,” Liz said sarcastically. “Gonna have to get a blow up bed or something, sleep in the lab now. We’re having a slumber party Coco, sorry, but apparently the kids need me.”
“Beep.”
“Because they’re newborns Roomba, they don’t know any better- OW SHIT!”
Thomas looked around, then started laughing uncontrollably. The auto-cleaning device had started its rounds, cleaning up eggshell and dirt. It had nicked his ankle with its knife.
“THERES A ROOMBA WITH A KNIFE!” He howled. “This is amazing! Why didn’t I think of that?”
He looked directly at Liz, more serious than either of the two scientists had seen so far.
“Do you think Roomba can ride the roomba? Can one of the little guys ride with them too?” He asked, so seriously.
“You humans are starting to concern me,” Coco said. “I’m getting more chocolate.”
“Can you grab me a drink too hon? These little guys are sleeping and I don’t want to wake them.” Liz was petting the little creatures when she noticed she was using her prosthetic arm. She hadn’t even noticed, it felt so seamless. She curled the fingers and scratched gently behind one of their ears.
About time, she thought. The funk was over. The new normal wouldn’t be that bad it seemed. She looked at the engineer.
“Thomas, if it’s the last thing I do on this ship, they’re riding the roomba.”
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morgana-larkin · 7 months ago
Note
hey another prompt; r is a teacher in Abbott for years now and has a specific styling of clothes. More of baggy loose clothes. As if her wardrobe are full off oversized pants and button up shirts and either a loafers or converse high lugged. And for some days, she dresses horribly, like more horribly than Janine and one time even managed to put on different shoes 🤦🏻‍♀️. Ava pokes fun of it and Barb and Janine even tried to help r out with dressing up, offering a shopping get together and sort but she declines says she's happy with what she wears and it's comfy. Mel joins teasing r once in a while tho and r just gonna roll her eyes playfully 'cause she's friends with her and knows that Mel was just a lil jealous that r can wear such comfy clothes tho it looks horrible. Then one day there will be like a school visit from.the district and Ava recquired all of the staff to wear formal or casual attire,ofc she makes fun of r again asking what horrible choices of clothes again is she gonna wear. Barb and Janine offered help and again she declines. Then the next day they're all in the staff room talking about it and when Mel is about to say something, r strode inside wearing nice clothes, even nicer than Ava and shocked to see she's wearing skirt and slaying the high heels without stuttering or wobbling. Mel, who's have her mouth agape and having a hard time taking her eyes off the teacher now became the new center of teasing as the teacher walks up to her and closed her mouth saying she might catch fly with a smirk on her face before leaving the break room to start her class.
Hello! This was cute and funny and I enjoyed writing this fic! I hope it turned out how you wanted. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!
On another note: I’m getting through your prompts. I got 8 left and one extra. I also started the next chapter of worth it and got a Marilyn one shot idea. I also got an idea for a Melissa one shot. So lots in store in the future! Btw I’ve noticed that there’s not as many people who reads the Chessy ones, even though it’s the same actress🤔
Speechless
Warnings: jealous Mel 😏, smut, fluff
Words: 3.4K
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You walk into the break room with sweats and an oversized shirt on.
“Woah girl, I think you need a wardrobe change. You do realise it’s spring right?” Ava says as soon as you walk in and she sees your outfit.
You sit down at Melissa and Barb’s table and Melissa looks at you and smiles. “I have to agree with Ava, and I thought Janine’s outfits were bad, but yours are a whole other level.” She tells you and you roll your eyes.
“Heeyyy.” Janine complains when she heard what Melissa said and Melissa just smirks.
“Sweetheart, I was thinking that you, me and Janine can go to the thrift store and get some new clothes tomorrow morning.” Barb offers.
“Thanks, but I’m good. I like my clothes, might not be the most stylish but they’re comfortable.” You tell her.
“Girl, your clothes ain’t stylish at all. Like you got two patterns on, they don’t even match.” Ava says.
“Don’t you have some influencing to do? You know, anything besides your actual job?” You tell her and she leaves.
“Why do you have two different patterns on your outfit?” Melissa asks.
“First 2 things I grabbed.” You tell her with a shrug and she shakes her head at you. “You’re just jealous because I don’t care about what I look like and wear comfy clothes.” You tell her and she snorts.
“Hon, there’s comfy and there’s comfy disaster. Which category do you think you fall under?” She asks you and you huff.
“I still think you’re jealous.”
“Keep thinking that hon. Doesn’t make it any more true.” She says back to you. “By the way you realise you have 2 different shoes on right?” She asks you and you look at your feet.
“I do…now.” You tell her and she shakes her head and smiles.
On Monday you walk in with a similar outfit on and Melissa rolls her eyes at you when you sit down. Ava walks in not too long after.
“Listen up, dorks! Tomorrow the school district is coming over for a tour and I need everyone to look good. And I’m mostly talking to you, walking disaster.” She says and looks at you, you just roll your eyes. “Tomorrow can you at least wear something that matches.” She tells you.
“I’ll think about it.” You tell her and she leaves.
“Sweetheart, tonight Janine and I can go to a thrift store with you for an outfit for tomorrow.” Barb tells you and Janine nods her head.
“I’m good, I think I know what outfit to wear tomorrow.” You tell them and Barb looks at you sceptically.
“Are you sure?” She asks and you nod your head.
“Yep.”
“Can't wait to see your best mismatched outfit tomorrow.” Melissa teases you and you smile.
Tomorrow morning, everyone is in the break room. Melissa, Barb and Janine are discussing their outfits and then it lands on your outfit.
“What do you think she’s gonna wear today?” Janine asks as she’s getting coffee ready.
Barb shrugs, and when Melissa goes to speak, you waltz in and her eyes go wide and she freezes.
You walk in with heeled boots, black tights, a nice black skirt that ends mid thigh with a nice belt, and a blue blouse that you tucked into the skirt. Melissa’s eyes roam your entire body and you smile.
“Daammn girl. Where has all of this been for 2 years?” Ava says.
“Not needed.” You tell her and you see Melissa’s reaction. You walk over to go put your lunch box in the fridge and you stop at her. You put a hand out to her and place it under her chin, she looks up at you and grin. You then push her mouth closed. “You don’t want to catch flies.” You tease her and everyone hides a snicker. You put your lunchbox in the fridge and then you walk out to your classroom.
“What was that?” Janine asks as everyone stares at where you just were.
“Don’t know, but I approve.” Ava says.
“Even though she looked better than you?” Jacob says and Ava glares.
“Hey.” She tells him sternly. “She looks good today but not better than me, thank you very much.” Ava says, she flips her hair and then walks out.
Melissa is still stunned, she knew you were beautiful underneath all those baggy clothes, and you had a pretty face, but that shocked her. You were stunning and she doesn’t know how to react.
“Melissa?” Barb says and snaps her fingers at her and Melissa jumps and looks at her.
“What?!?” She asks and everyone snickers.
“You ok? Looks like you’ve seen a ghost.” Barb says.
“Or she got a crush.” Jacob adds and Melissa whips her head around to him.
“I do not have a crush on her. Just didn’t expect her to look like that today.” She tells him and then turns back around.
Everyone drops it, knowing that Melissa won’t budge, but they don’t forget it.
At lunch, you’re in the break room getting your coffee ready when Melissa walks in. Normally you say hi to her but it seems a teacher is talking to you today. Melissa sees you and the teacher talking and when she gets closer she hears the conversation and realises the teacher is flirting with you. Most of the staff know you’re gay as you’re open about it, and it seems another gay teacher has taken an interest in you today. Melissa doesn’t like it to be honest. She liked it better when you didn’t catch anyone’s eye except hers. She sits down with a sigh and you glance around.
“Oh hi Melissa, didn’t hear you come in.” You tell her with a smile.
“Ya I can see that.” She tells you, a bit snippy and you look at her confused. You bring your attention back on the teacher and she continues whatever she was talking about with you. Melissa is sulking on her phone while glancing at you and the teacher talking, who moved from the coffee machine to the couch. Barb keeps glancing at Melissa, knowing she’s jealous of the teacher flirting with you.
Everyone else seems to be in conversation but that all comes to a halt when they hear the other teacher ask you out and they all spare a glance at Melissa. Melissa freezes and all colour drains from her face. Not wanting to hear your answer, she grabs her things and walks out.
You hear the teacher ask you out and you freeze, you hear the room go silent for some reason and then you see Melissa get up and leave. You look over at everyone else and they all seem to be given a worried look at where Melissa was just standing.
“I’m flattered but no, sorry.” You tell the teacher.
“Are you sure?” She asks again with a smile.
“Ya, I’m interested in someone else.” You tell her and then get up and you walk to Barb. “Is Melissa ok?” You ask her and she shrugs.
“I don’t know dear. Didn’t have time to ask her. Maybe you can go check on her.” She tells you and you nod your head then walk out of the break room.
“This is getting interesting.” Jacob says and everyone agrees.
“Did you see her rocking those heels though, and she didn’t even stumble once today.” Janine says and Jacob looks at her interested in the topic.
“I did ya. She looks good in them too.” He adds.
You walk down the hall to Melissa’s classroom and you knock them open her door. You peak in and catch the tail end of Melissa’s pout before she goes to a neutral face and looks at the door.
“Hey Melissa.” You say to her.
“Hey hon.” She says to you and forces a smile.
“Is it safe to come in?” You ask her and she nods. You open the door more and walk in and then close the door behind you. “Just wanted to check if you were ok. Saw you almost storming out and Barb didn’t know if you were ok either. She suggested I come to make sure you’re alright.” You tell her and she sighs.
Of course Barb told you to come talk to her. She’s been trying to get her to admit her feelings for you for a few months now.
“Ya I’m alright, thanks for asking.” She tells you and you don’t look convinced in the slightest.
“Wanna tell me that while looking at me?” You ask her while she taps a pen on her desk.
“Why should I do that?” She asks and then looks up at you.
“Because it would seem more convincing then the lame ass attempt you already did.” You tell her and she snorts. She makes no attempt at saying it to you though and that worries you a bit. Melissa has never been able to lie to you while looking at you so the fact that she’s not telling you she’s alright while looking at you, it worries you.
You go and grab one of the students chairs and bring it over to sit beside her desk.
“What’s wrong?” You ask her and she looks at you then looks at her pen in her hands.
“Nothing.” She says and you place a finger under her chin and get her to look at you.
“What’s wrong?” You ask her again and she can’t concentrate. All she focuses on is your hand under her chin and she gulps. “I know something is bothering you, so what is it?” You gently push.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She tells you while looking at you and you nod.
“Are you sure? Cause I’m a great listener.” You tell her with a smile and she smiles back at you.
“Ya I’m sure.” She tells you and you nod.
“Alright well if you change your mind then you know where to find me.” You tell her and you put the chair back and then leave.
As you exit her classroom you bump into a teacher and you apologise to them.
“Y/n? Wow, I almost didn’t recognise you. You look pretty!” The teacher says to you and you smile and thank them. Melissa sees the interaction and presses down on the desk with her pen and the tip of the pen almost breaks.
At the end of the day, you’re all helping your students get ready to leave. You’re zipping up a sweater for one of them and Melissa sees a parent checking you out as your cleavage is showing to them at that angle. You then stand up and tell the student that he’s ready to go. The mom of the student starts a conversation with you and she laughs at whatever you said. Melissa glares the entire time. When all of hers and your students leave, she walks over to you to where the mom is still in conversation with you and Melissa grabs your arm.
“Hi, sorry to interrupt but I need to borrow y/n.” She says and pulls you with her back to her classroom.
“Melissa, what’s going on?” You ask her as she closes the door and walks over to you. “Why did you pull me away from the conversation with the pa-” You don’t get to finish your sentence as her lips on yours interrupt you. She pulls back a couple seconds later and you stare at her with wide eyes.
“That’s what’s going on.” She tells you. “I’m attracted to you. I have been for a few months now. I wasn’t planning on acting on it but then you get all this attention today because of your outfit and I just can’t take it.” She tells you and you are just staring like she was this morning.
“You like me?” You tell her and she sighs.
“Ya hon, I do. That’s why I walked out when that teacher asked you out.” She tells you.
“Melissa, for the record, I turned her offer down.” You say and she looks at you.
“Why?” She asks and you roll your eyes at her.
“Because, it’s hard to show interest in someone when you’re interested in someone else.” You tell her and she looks confused.
“You’re interested in someone else?” She asks and you nod. “W-who?”
“You.” You tell her and her breathe hitches.
“Me?” She asks you and you nod.
“I tried flirting with you a few months ago but you didn’t seem to show any interest back so I stopped.” You tell her. She stares at you for a few seconds then leans forward and captures your lips on hers again. This time she doesn’t pull back and you kiss her back. She pulls your body more to hers and you gasp. Melissa takes the opportunity and slips her tongue in your mouth. You back up as Melissa is starting to push a lot and you end up getting pinned between her and her desk. She lifts you up to sit on her desk and she moves in between your legs. She trails down to your neck and sucks on a sensitive spot and you moan.
She sneaks her hands under you shirt and trails them up until they land on your bra. You aren’t stopping her so she takes that as permission to unclip your bra and again, you don’t stop her. She cups your breasts while still sucking on your neck and you buck your hips. She starts moving her hands in a circular motion and you hum. She then rubs both your nipples and you buck your hips and gasp. “Mel-Melissa, please.” You start to beg and she smirks.
“Begging already? I’ve barely touched you.” She teases and you whine. She takes pity on you and pulls your tights and underwear down and places her hand on your pussy. You moan and she kisses you to keep you quiet. She rubs a finger through your folds and smirks when she feels how wet you already are. “Oh baby, you’re already soaking and I barely touched you. What got you so turned on?” She asks and you can barely think right now. “If you answer then I’ll stick a finger in you.” She whispers next to your ear.
“You.” You stutter out.
“Me? But I barely touched you.” She says and you whine.
“Y-your shirt and y-your k-kisses.” You stutter out and she looks confused and looks down at her shirt. She sees it’s just a normal shirt that she’s worn before and then it clicks.
“Oh, were you staring at my chest today?” She teases you and you nod. “Hmm, good girl.” She tells you with a smirk. She kisses you and then as promised, sticks a finger in your entrance. You gasp into the kiss. She slides her finger in and out and feels your hands wandering on her shirt. She grabs one of your hands and guides it under her shirt and on her bra. Your other hand follows and then she unclips her bra and you slightly pull your hands back. She puts one of your hands on her breast and once again, your other hand follows. You start playing with her breasts and you both moan. She then places one of her legs on the other side of yours and she starts grinding on your thigh while fingering you.
She slides another finger in and you gasp. The one hand that’s not fingering you she places on your back and pushes you to her a bit more. She then suddenly pulls out and pulls away from your lips, you go to complain but then covers your mouth with her hand. You’re in shock but then you hear Barb knocking on her door and calling her name. You both quickly get dressed and then Melissa opens her door while you lean against her desk.
“Hey Barb what’s up?” She asks as casually as she can.
“Nothing just… oh hi y/n.” She says when she sees you and then notices a hickey on your neck that wasn’t there at lunch. She then really looks at Melissa and sees smudged lip gloss and puts 2 and 2 together.
“Hey Barb, I was just talking to Melissa.” You say and Barb smiles.
“Ya I bet. Might want to cover up your hickey and fix your lip gloss.” She says and then walks away. “Good night you two.” She yells and Melissa is blushing.
She turns back to you and walks towards you with a smirk. “Come on, I want to finish you in my car.” She says and grabs your hand and pulls you all the way to her car. She unlocks it and she pushes you into the backseat and climbs on top of you. She closes the door and then immediately takes your top off.
“Melissa what if someone sees.” You ask her and cover yourself with your arms.
“Relax, no other cars in the parking lot except ours.” She tells you and then grabs your hands and gets you to uncover yourself. She then unclips your bra and looks at you. “I knew you had a beautiful body underneath all those baggy clothes.” She says softly and you smile. “Such a shame you hide it, you should be showing it off.” She tells you and you blush.
“When I don’t cover it, then I get attention like I did today.” You tell her and she hums.
“That’s alright if you cover up, that means I don’t have to punch anyone. More for me.” She says and wraps her mouth around a nipple. You moan at her touch and tilt your head back. She goes to the other nipple and you buck your hips. She pulls back and then takes her shirt and bra off.
“Wow.” You say as you look at her. She grabs your chin.
“Speechless are we?” She teases and you nod. You then lean forward and take the nippe in your mouth and she gasps. She holds the sides of the front seats to stabilise herself as you pleasure her breasts with your amazing tongue and mouth. When you pull back she immediately pulls your skirt, tights and underwear down to your ankles. She spreads your legs a bit and looks at you bare before her and smiles. She then goes and rubs your clit and you buck your hips. She rubs it for a few seconds then trails down and sees you're very wet again. She then slides two fingers in immediately and you gasp. You try and spread your legs more but your tights and skirt are preventing you. Melissa sees your struggle and without pulling her fingers out or stopping, she takes your boots off then takes off your clothes. You then immediately spread your legs and Melissa is enjoying the view. She then takes her pants and underwear off then grinds your leg again. Melissa seems to be closer to an orgasm than you are and then she thinks that maybe you only come with clitoral stimulation, so she brings her thumb to your clit. You gasp and in no time you catch up to Melissa and you come a few seconds before she does.
You two stay as you are and catch your breath, she slowly pulls out of you. You look at Melissa and smile at her.
“See something you like hon?” She asks and you smile wider.
“Ya I do actually.” You tell her and you cup her cheek. “You.” You tell her and she smiles back at you.
She hums and leans in closer to you, her breasts pressed up against you and your breathing speeds up. “How about I take you to my place, I cook you dinner and then I don’t keep my hands to myself for the rest of the evening?” She asks and you smile at her.
“I like the sound of that.” And she smiles and winks at you.
You both get dressed and she does exactly what she suggested, although she had trouble keeping her hands to herself the entire time, not just after dinner.
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sweetenerobert · 1 year ago
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𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑𝐒
DAY ONE OF HAUNTED HOEDOWN
momsboyfriend! joel miller x male reader
genre: mom’s boyfriend joel, no outbreak au, explicit, minors dni
prompt: taboo au + "i'll be your dirty little secret, if that's what you're into."
summary: your mom can’t seem to find where her boyfriend joel, has gone. and she can’t understand why your bedroom has so much weight on it
warnings: pwp, strong language, infidelity, joel is 43, reader is 22, unprotected P in A, choking, dirty talk, pet names, daddy kink, creampies, fingering, spanking, joel being a cocky piece of shit
word count: 1.7k
a/n: read this, i have a mixed feeling about it! let me know what you guys think.
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“Hey, Hon! Have you seen Joel? I tried to call him, but his phone must be off.”
You knew where Joel was, his exact location, time, and placement of where he was located in this moment and time.
It was approximately 8:15, the time your mom usually leaves for work. He was behind you, pants wrapped around his ankles — belt ripped off and thrown on your bed. His cock buried deep inside you, hands melted on your waist, hitting that spot repeatedly as you tried to answer your mom. It was as if Joel’s task was to get you both caught by your mom/his girlfriend.
His low grunts entering your ear and your panting escapes your lips as you try to act like nothing is wrong.
“Get rid of her,” Joel whispered, grunting in your ear.
“U-uh, mom. No, I haven't s-seen him. Is his truck still here?”
“It seems so. The neighbors said they hadn't seen his truck move since.”
You could feel Joel’s body press up against your back and his warm breath against your ear. His forearm wrapped around your neck. Your cock twitched against the wood in front of you. “If you don’t get her to leave, I will fuck you so hard on this door we will all hear those pretty little moans and how she can see how her son’s taking her boyfriend’s dick so well.”
“U-uh, mom. He probably went to get something. I’m sure he’ll be fine,” You grit. “I’ll let you know if he comes back looking for you.”
You hear your mom’s muffled chuckle on the other side of the door. “You're funny, baby. He will see my car gone in the driveway if anything, and won't want to bother you with your school work.”
A hard smack comes across your ass, and you almost yelp but stop yourself from making the loud sound.
“What was that?” Your mom asks.
You could hear a low chuckle escape from Joel’s lips into your ear. “It was me. I slapped my thigh,” You dismissed. “Aren’t you going to be late for work?”
“What can they do? Fire me?” She chuckles. “Sweetie, are you okay? You sound a bit out of breath.”
“Well, no, because your boyfriend’s dick is currently inside of me, and he has no intention of stopping anytime soon,” You thought.
“I’m just a little bit of breath — I could be coming down with something,” You breathed.
“Oh goodness, do you need me to come in?”
“NO!” You exclaimed. “I-I mean, If I am coming down with something. I don't want to get you sick too.”
“Aw, you're so sweet.” She smiles. “You're the best son ever.”
You scoff. “I’m your only SON!” You gasped.
You look back toward Joel, and he has a scowl on his face. He was getting impatient.
“Are you sure you're alright, baby?”
“Yeah, are you, baby?” Joel gruffed.
“Yeah, now I just got a cramp in my leg — I’ll be okay, Mom. I promise. Please don't be late for work because of me. I’ll call you if anything happens,” You dismissed.
“Okay, baby. I’ll see you later. I love you.”
“See you later, bye,” You gritted, hoping she would leave.
“Nu-uh-uh-uh. Say it back.”
“Say what back?”
At this point, Joel was getting annoyed. He pulled your neck away from the door; your arms outstretched — fingerpads barely reaching the wood in front of you. You grip your hands on Joel’s forearm around your throat and look towards Joel.
“You know, I love you too,”
“Fuck me,” You muttered, directed to your mom's command.
“I’m already doin’ that baby,” Joel smirked.
You roll your eyes and look back to the wooden door before you.
“I love you too, Mom.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later.”
You hear her footsteps walk away from your bedroom door, down the hall, and the door closes behind her. Then suddenly, you hear the faint sound of her car starting.
You released a breath you didn't know that you were holding. Suddenly, You feel Joel pick you up and throw you over his shoulder.
"What are you doing?" You question.
He doesn't answer, and he starts to walk toward your bed.
You feel your body jerk up and land on your back — on your bed. You look towards Joel as he slides his pants off his ankles and onto the floor. He climbs into your bed and position himself between your legs.
"I grew impatient, now I want to hear those pretty moans," Joel smirked.
Joel stuck his pointer and middle fingers in your mouth. "Suck," Joel commanded.
You obliged and sucked on his fingers, and he quickly retracted his fingers from your mouth. Sliding his middle finger slowly inside you, you squirmed under his touch. You tried to stifle your moans; you didn't want to give Joel what he wanted. His finger slid inside you faster, and you bit your lip to hide your moans.
Joel slid a second finger in, and you rolled your head to the side and slammed your eyes shut. “Your pussy wraps around my fingers — so fuckin’ tight.”
Your lip almost bled from how hard you were biting your lip. You grit your teeth as you keep squirming. A hard slap to your balls made you stay still. “Stop squirmin’,” Joel commands.
“Can’t help it, don't — wanna moan,” You breathed. Joel slipped his finger out of you. Crawled up to you, his hand grips your throat.
“Is that right? Well, I guess we're gonna have to do this the hard way,” Joel smirked.
Joel pushes his cock inside you. You tried to yelp, but his hand, tight around your throat, forced you to stop. “Fff-uck, Joel!” You gasp.
“What that, baby? You like this big dick inside you?”
You nod with a look of pain and pleasure riding your face. Joel lets go of your throat, and you take deep breaths. While breathing, Joel lifts your legs and places them on his shoulders. His hips start slow and steady as you roll your head up — looking upside down at your headboard.
“Fuck! Baby! I might need to use your pussy more,” Joel breathed.
“So — good — fuck,” You grit.
“Baby… I haven't even gotten to the best part.” Joel leans down — resting his forehead on yours. Your noses were touching each other. Joel’s hips rock faster back and forth. Your breaths became hitched as Joel’s cock was stretching you out. You could feel his length inside you, pushing deep inside you. You loved every inch of him. Joel had filled you to the brim with satisfaction.
“You love this cock, don't you, baby?”
“Fuck, yes! Joel! I love it so much,” You whine.
“Your pussy, wraps around me so nicely, baby. I bet if I slip my cock out now,” Joel backs up from your face, slipping his cock out. “And then slip it back in,” Joel slips his cock back in. You meet the base of Joel’s cock so fast; you moan in retaliation.
“Just as I guessed, your pussy remembers my length so well, baby.”
Joel had wrapped your ankles in his giant, calloused palms. His grip was tight as his hips kept rocking into you, back and forth. Pre cum was leaking from the tip of your cock. You felt satisfied for the first time in a long time.
“You gonna cum soon, baby?” Joel questions.
“I-I think so,” You breathe.
“Cum for daddy, baby,” Joel starts. “You know you want to cum for me.”
“Fuck, daddy! Your cock is hitting so deep!” You groan.
Joel’s cock twitched when you called him daddy; that sensation felt incredible inside you. You felt your cock throb, the sensation cum was coming and the pain was unbearable.
“That’s so hot, baby,” Joel grunted. “Call me that again.”
“Daddy, you love this, don't you? Fucking the son of your girlfriend’s tight pussy, huh? You like this?”
“You makin’ fun of me?”
You weren't, but a smirk appeared on your face to insinuate that you were. “So what if I was? It’s just a simple question,” You grunt.
Joel’s thrusts became more vicious and destructive. Your pillow catches your moan as you roll your head to the side. “I fuckin’ love this, so fuckin’ perfect.”
“It’ll be our little secret,” You breathe in between breaths.
"I’ll be your dirty little secret, if that's what you're into,” Joel smirks.
Joel’s smirk turned into a scowl. Joel had a look of rage, and determination was written on his face now. Joel was on a mission with you directly, and you loved this feeling so much.
“I’m gonna cum soon, baby, deep inside that pussy of yours. I’m going to get you pregnant,” Joel grits.
“I’m going to cum too, daddy,” You moan.
“Cum for daddy, baby.”
You gripped your dick and started to stroke up and down. Your cock was filled with adrenaline, overstimulation, and overall satisfaction. With each of Joel’s thrusts, you could feel yourself on the brink of cumming anytime soon.
“I’m cumming, Daddy!” You exclaim as strings of cum coat your chest.
Joel grips your thighs as you stop stroking your cock. You place your hands on Joel’s thighs. “Fuck, baby! I’m cumming!” Joel hisses. With one — two final thrusts, Joel’s cum was swimming inside you. His grip on your thighs loosens, and he places his head near yours — hovering over yours.
You both are panting messes together, sweaty, satisfied messes. You close your eyes in pleasure and take a second to be in the moment. You had sex with your mom’s boyfriend, and you don’t feel guilty about it one bit, more accomplished than anything.
“Was that okay?” You question. Joel chuckles at your question and can't control himself as he kisses your forehead.
“It was fantastic, baby,” Joel gruffed.
Joel kisses your lips softly, and you grab his face in your hands as you flip him on his back — cock still inside you. His tongue licks your bottom lip as he slips his tongue inside your mouth. Tongues are sword-fighting each other in this passionate kiss. Joel’s hands planted on your back, — sliding down the curve of your back as you mess up his hair, sliding your hands on his curly locks. You break the kiss, backing up from Joel’s lips.
“Daddy, my mom doesn't come home until later; we could have some real fun around the house. If that’s okay with you?”
Joel gives it a thought and smirks at you. “Well, baby, Who am I to oblige such an amazin’ idea?” Joel chuckles.
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fic-heaven · 8 months ago
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Ghost x witty! Reader x Price
Jealous much?
.
You spent too much time with Price.
Of course it was on purpose, if anyone asked you'd agree, after all, you are no liar. But who could blame you? It was so much fun to piss Ghost off this way.
Since the day you first paired up together in your first solo mission you were like finger and nail, deadly separate but even deadlier together. Your partnership bloomed into a friendship so rare even the captain couldn't believe it at first... The big bad Ghost willingly attached to a sassy clown like you? Wasn't Johnny the closest thing to a friend Ghost had? Obviously no, because the way he'd joke, train, protect and tell you everything that reached his ears spoke volumes of his deep attachment to you.
You knew this, of course. And although you felt just as close to him that didn't stop you from forming other friendships of your own and Simon was indifferent of this until he wasn't.
He'd wait wait for you on your room's door, respectful of your space and privacy but you never open, so him being worried decided to let himself in only to see you were already gone, to later be informed by Soap that you are having breakfast with John Price.
That happend THREE times in a week.
Ghost would wait for you on the stairs closest to the gym eager to spar with you and enjoy the funny remarks you did about anyone who crossed you or just pretty much hear whatever the hell you wanted to say without him having to saying much in return. Because that's your routine, so where the fuck are you? He sees you carrying a stack of papers laughing with the captain only giving Ghost an apologetic face before returning to your riddles. That happend TWICE.
See, Ghost is a patient man specially with you being a walking headache, but this? You knew he wouldn't hold it any longer. And you were eager to see how he'd explode.
His last straw was during a mission where you had to rescue a number of hostages. You two behaved with the same professionalism as always with a non so professional comment here and there, all normal, until you met with the captain and Ghost felt you instantly untangle yourself from his presence. Like Price's dry comments and even dryer humour was more interesting than Ghost's.
You were well aware the lieutenant wouldn't say a word about his obvious discomfort because what reason would he have? You were just attentive to your captain instead of your lieutenant, woops. Also considering the way Ghost is, he would never admit he has a crush on you unless he's provoked too far. So you'll use Price to give him a little push on the right direction.
Out of pure entertainment obviously, not because you loved that bastard too much to confess yourself. Yeah...
Simon didn't have a good enough reason to be pissed so that any person would understand without thinking he's jealous until you gave him one: At your captain's command, you two launched an ambush to the enemies corralling them dangerously close to the hostages, once they were eliminated, you three made a quick work of gathering the hostages out of the boat they were previously captured to wait for the rescuing helos to land while keeping them as far as possible from the bomb the enemies had planted. The moment you rushed inside the boat, Price had to tackle Ghost to the ground so he wouldn't run after you, it didn't take long when you trotted back to them with a few files in hand and a couple of minutes later, the boat exploded. Price smiled proudly, praising you with enthusiasm. "I knew you could do it, hon. Well-fucking-done! This calls for a celebratory drink, don't ya think?"
Ghost didn't speak to you for the whole flight to the base, his eyes were glaring daggers at your form while you discussed the content of the files with Price, seemingly careless about Ghost's state. Of course you were worried about him when Price said the tall brit tried to go after you, you asked if he was alright but the brief "m'fine." he gave you seemed to be enough answer for you to turn around and chat with the captain.
.
During morning drills, Ghost sat on a chunk of grass near the fences. His imposing presence did wonders making the soldiers around focus on their training, chores and other tasks, Price deeply thanked him for it because apparently he was busy with other matters of his own, surely with you. He sniffed trying to focus on finishing painting the mask he was holding and totally not thinking about you and Price alone somewhere far from him.
How dare the captain confide in you to gather important Intel he could had easily ordered Ghost to pick quicker than your short legs could carry you?
How dare Price spend more time with a stupidly annoying Sargeant instead of his loyal lieutenant?
How dare you enjoy Prices' presence more than Simon's? Was it because he was more handsome? Because he spoke much more than him? He surely didn't tease you the same way Simon did... Right?
He saw a flash of light from the corner of his eye, raising his gaze up without moving his head an inch he saw your dog tags dangling on your chest reflecting the light of the torching sun almost blinding his him.
The moment you spot your lieutenant you giggled and it irked something ugly in him. Were you mocking him?
You shot Ghost a challenging look he was soon returning with a tilt of his head as to say "oh really? I'll show you." He dropped the mask he was holding to the grass, abruptly standing so fast some passerby yelped in horror, Simon rapidly approaches you from the other side of the training field aggressively bumping into other operators who didn't see him but turned white at the sight of the angry lieutenant glaring ahead, a few rookies looked at the scene about to unfold in fright, some ran to find the captain thinking this would end up bloody.
-"What's got your face like a teapot funeral, lieutenant?"
-"Who do you think you are hiding crucial information of the mission from your superior!?"
-"We were reading the files on the ride here. You chose not to read them, Sim-"
-"Don't fucking call me that! I'm your lieutenant! Got it!? If someone farts I hear it first, if Price has something on his mind I'll be the first he informs, if Intel must be gathered I'd have to know."
You listened with humour all over the face, he was getting so frustrated he looked like an angry two-meter tall pitbull. "My my, if I didn't know any better I'd say you're jealous."
-"I will rip you apart. Hang your corpse on a pole for everyone to see..."
-"That a promise? I'd make a beautiful flag~"
Ghost was on your face huffing like an angry bull, his shoulders heaving with the force of his huffs. He was frustrated as hell with your enchanting wit that did nothing but enamour him further and the fact that he could literally intimidate anyone but you. It was driving him crazy.
You sighed "Are you really THAT mad, dear? I mean come on. You know you are the Captain's favorite but I deserve some of his time too."
He opened his mouth, his skull mask looming over you so close he did you the favor of shielding your face from the sun until "HEY!"
Price stepped between you, but you rose your hand to stop him with a serene look. "No need to baby us, cap. We were just having a peep talk."
Ghost took your arm dragging you away to a quieter place after you calmed your captain but John wasn't so convinced sprinting to you and stopping Simon by gripping your other arm. In that moment they looked like two kids fighting for a toy. You couldn't help but laugh out loud your head falling back not breaking the increasing tension among them.
-"Lieutenant Riley, you are out of line-"
-"I'm out of line? YOU are out of line! Fraternizing with this sargeant, giving her additional support and exposing sensitive information to her like she's ranks above her current one!"
-"Watch your accusations, you won't like the repercussions, besides you are no saint either threatening the life of this Sargeant in front of the others. This is unacceptable behavior from a lieutenant!"
-"OH wanna talk about unacceptable behaviour!? I've kept quiet for far too long. You wanna fuck this woman so bad you risk your position as our captain, it's pathetic... I never expected something like this from you Johnathan."
Your half lidded eyes shot to Price waiting for an answer, the wide smile you held slightly turned downwards at your captains silence. He looked stoic but there was a slight hint of nervousness that manifested in the way he pursed his lips and glared at his lieutenant.
"For real?" You asked. Ghost tsked, Price's hand never wavered from his position gripping your left arm, Ghost didn't either.
"Wanna know something funnier?" You asked, and finally they both broke the eye contact to look at you. "You two wanna fuck me so bad it's getting too obvious. So I suggest something: Do whatever you planned for today, come to my room at night TOGETHER and make up by doing whatever you planned to do to me."
Ghost's eyes widened and Price looked down trying to come up with a replay clearly as stunned as Simon.
"Think of it as a... Hmmm... A bonding exercise! Also a way to make peace. We will all benefit from it, and afterwards we won't have to talk about it if you don't want to." The way you spoke, so sure of yourself made the two men rethink whatever the hell they wanted to spit.
Ghost finally spoke lowly "And if we want to talk about it...?"
Your smile widen, your hands softly took the arms that gripped them making them both shiver as if they had been electrocuted for a moment.
"Then I'm sure we can come up with a deal." You looked back at Price who still had his blue eyes firmly planted on the ground. "Captain?"
"I have a meeting with Laswell at nine o'clock." Price finally rose his gaze to your face, his cheeks were dusted pink in embarrassment accentuating the beautiful constellation of freckles on his face "I'll cancel and skip dinner."
Ghost nods at his captain's decision, you look at the masked brit waiting for his own response "I had to be with Johnny and Kyle somewhere t'night. They'll be well off without me."
"Fantastic! My room at nine, then." You chirped until Price stopped you.
"No-" He abruptly interrupted. Ghost and you looked at him in surprise, nervousness lazed on Price's voice after he shook his head and recomposed himself "My office. We'll go there, that way people will think we'll be addressing the matter of Ghost's public outburst."
Ghost growled out "Public outburst?" But you nodded enthusiastic "Perfect plan! Also it wouldn't be far from the truth at all, am I right fellas?"
By that point the two men had let go of your arms but kept a closer distance to you, their previous angry expressions had softened seeking your eyes with desire, the voids of their pupils were so dilated you could see your smirk reflected on them.
"This will be quite the experience."
.
Who should I write next ;) ? Requests open!
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wileycap · 14 days ago
Text
Special Instructions For Luke Skywalker
(approved by hon. Sen. Organa, Gen. Solo, entirety of Rogue Squadron, Adm. Ackbar, hon. Sen. Mothma, distributed to Cmdr. Skywalker)
1. No acrobatics, except in designated excercise areas.
1.1. Not even if you can "jump really high, the Force is so bright right now, look!"
2. Absolutely NO mind reading.
2.1. If you do it on accident, try not to get a weird look on your face and also tell us what you learned. Proverb: It's better to know than to wonder about it until one ends up doing something stupid.
2.2. Yes. I'm talking about that. I can't look General Madine in the eye anymore.
2.3. It's still allowed for intrasquadron prank purposes. But you can't do it to the others, they freak out.
3. No posing. Yes, you pose. It's annoying and wrong. The rest of us are dirty and want to slump down into our own filth and sleep. We don't need to see you being all heroic.
4. No claiming "the will of the Force" when you do something weird. Yes it's saved all our lives more than once. Yes it's still offputting and just plain disturbing.
4.1. "The universe is telling me that..." is not an acceptable substitute.
4.2. "I have received an omen" is also out.
4.3. "The vibes speak to me" is funny but no.
4.4. "Hey guys, guess what came to me in a dream" might be okay but it was in the middle of combat. And you said it over the general comms. And then you did an unannounced microjump into actual hyperspace in the middle of actual combat. Admiral Ackbar nearly had a medical event.
5. If somebody wants to hold your lightsaber you should let them.
5.1. You're officially allowed to disregard that. Never give Janson your lightsaber again. We have no idea how he snuck that in in the first place.
5.2. If Princess Leia requests to inspect your ceremonial weapon (commonly known as a 'lightsaber'), you should let her. For reasons for legitimate cultural intrest and archeological research. And because as your superior, she has the right to inspect your weapon as set down in the Alliance Charter, section General Conduct, heading B4467, subheading BA561-33. By permission of Princess Leia. I approve of this. Luke give it to me for a second you get to have it all the time.
6. If you need to "have a conversation with a ghost", do it in a private place.
6.1. If you agree to have your ghost conversations in private, we promise to stop referring to our "private time" as "having a conversation with a ghost."
6.2. In fact, we could just stop announcing it altogether. It was funny the first time and it hasn't been funny since. Guys, I don't want to know.
6.3. But please don't talk to thin air in front of us.
7. Luke, you are a hero of the Alliance. We are also friends. You don't need to bow when you see me, even if I am technically royalty and your superior.
7.1. It's very sweet that you do it and I appreciate that you want to show your respect, but the new recruits are getting confused.
7.2. NO, ADMIRAL ACKBAR DIDN'T WRITE THAT. It was obviously me, Leia!
7.3. If you're doing this on purpose and hiding it behind your innocent farmboyishness, I'LL KILL YOU. I'll kill you until you're dead.
7.4. STOP BOWING STOP
8. Don't work on the Falcon unsupervised.
8.1. Me being in the general area isn't supervision.
8.2. Me being near you but working on a different part isn't supervision.
8.3. Apparently me looking over your shoulder isn't supervision either. Just don't do it, kid.
9. Cub. You are very small in comparison to other humans. If you are having trouble hunting I can do it for you.
9.1. Apologies. Han reminded me that you are an adult by the standards of your species. I travel with him and I am often confused that he is an adult. You understand.
9.2. No asking Chewie if his relationship with me is "kind of like adopting a tooka" for him. For one, no, and for two, everybody else already made that joke.
9.3. He is very much like a badly behaved tooka.
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