#I regret nothing but also everything

[banannabethchase]

Desperate Measures - also on AO3

~

Adam's had it with Matt using his boo boo eyes and hair to flirt with everyone, so he makes him wait to get what he wants. It backfires.

~

Written for the kinkmeme prompt, which probably didn't need to be posted anonymously since this feels like it screams me. Title from Desperate Measures by Marianas Trench, and I'm so excited I FINALLY have gotten to use this song for a fic!

~

Adam first notices it when they’re in the hotel, for fuck’s sake. Matt catches the eye of the bellhop and bats his dumb fucking eyelashes up the elevator. It lasts until they get outside their room, when the bellhop drops Matt’s bags and stammers out an apology.

“It’s cool, man, I got it.” Adam glares at Matt, who tries the booboo eyes on him. Adam rolls his eyes.

“Are you sure?” the bellhop asks, looking between Matt and the bags.

Adam hands him a twenty. “We’re good. Sorry for the trouble.”

His eyes dart over to Matt with a little smile on his face. “It was no trouble at all.”

“Thank you,” Matt says, all moony eyed, and Adam has half a mind to grab him by the hair and yank him into the hotel room.

“Just get in the damned room,” Adam says, hauling all the bags in as he unlocks the door. Matt floats in after him.

“He was cute,” Matt muses, like he has no idea what he does. “Wish I’d gotten his name.”

“Why, so you could fuck up his head even more?” Adam asks. He chucks the bags onto the bed.

Matt tilts his head and starts playing with the ends of his hair. “What do you mean?”

Adam sighs. “You’re the worst.” He yanks Matt in and kisses him long enough to get Matt whimpery and needy, then pulls away.

“Wait, no,” Matt says, giant eyes searching Adam’s face. “Come back.”

“Nope,” Adam says. “You can wait until after Dynamite.”

Matt frowns. “Dynamite’s ages away.”

“Yeah.” Adam may be a cowboy, but he’s also a bit of a scientist and more than a bit of a dick, and he wants to know what Matt will do when he’s riled up and desperate.

Matt shifts and wiggles. “But we got the nice room and everything!” Matt whines Adam doesn’t think he’d be surprised if Matt stomped his foot. “That – we got the king bed!”

Adam shrugs. “You can wait until after Dynamite or you can get nothing at all.”

Matt’s eyes widen, and Adam thinks he might just be getting what’s going on here. Matt pouts, then licks his lips. “Nothing?”

Adam stares at him. “Nothing.”

~

Surprisingly the first person Matt runs into is Mox as they walk into the venue.

“Hey, douchebags,” Mox says, lighting a cigarette as he leans up against the door.

“You’re in the way,” Matt says. He flips his hair over his shoulder. “Move.”

“Nah.”

Adam decides to hang back and let it happen. Matt’s been bitchy ever since Adam told him he had to wait, and he’s interested to see how Matt handles it.

Not well, is the answer. Matt stalks up to Mox like he has anything on him, and Mox shoves him into the wall. Adam slides out of the way and watches as Matt blinks up at Mox.

“What, you’re not gonna defend your boy?” Mox asks, forearm across Matt’s chest.

Adam raises an eyebrow. “Now why on earth would I do that?” He nods to where Matt’s blinking up at Mox like the horniest baby cow on the planet. “He’s having fun.”

Matt’s cheeks turn pink.

“You are, aren’t you,” Mox laughs, leaning in a little closer. Matt’s eyes flicker over to Adam for the briefest of seconds, then back to Mox. He looks like he’s about to lean in for some sort of kiss, but then Mox steps away and laughs. “Fuck, Cowboy, you got a handful.”

“You don’t gotta tell me,” Adam says with an eye roll. “Jesus, Matt, you could be a little less obvious.”

“Hmm?” Matt mumbles.

Adam has to grab his shoulder and shove him into the venue after Mox steps aside.

~

“You’re, like, so strong,” Matt says, sitting on the table in front of Kris. Adam glances over from where he’s getting a cookie from the dessert tray. Matt’s actually swinging his legs. Adam laughs and shakes his head, and decides to watch.

“Thanks!” Kris says, beaming. “I had to work really hard to come back after the knee.”

Matt nods, all his attention on Kris, turning on the baby cow eyes. “And you’re a champion now,” he says reverently. He slides his hand to bump pinkies with Kris. “That’s, like, so impressive.”

Kris’ cheeks turn pink. “Thanks. That means a lot, from an EVP.”

Matt shifts so he can rest his hand on top of Kris’, and Adam might have to intervene if Matt keeps going. “I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true.”

“I could probably squat you, easy,” Kris says. She puts down her fork. “Come here.”

Matt looks like a kid on their birthday when Kris straight up grabs him and throws him over her shoulders, squatting him like it’s nothing. Matt giggles, one hand on her bicep and the other on her waist as Kris squats like it’s nothing.

“Oh, my god,” he says. Adam’s pretty sure he’d swoon if he were standing. “This is –”

“Hey, Matty, we have to get ourselves back to get dressed.” He wraps a hand around Matt’s waist and hauls him off of Kris’ shoulders. He knew what the next two words were, and telling a coworker who is technically an employee that her squatting him is his fantasy might cross a line. “Sorry, Kris. You are cool as hell, though. Send me that squat routine.”

“Yes,” Matt says, nodding emphatically. “Please send it to him.”

Kris grins and giggles. “You two are cute. Come hang out with Best Friends some time, okay? Now that you guys aren’t mean anymore, I think Orange might forgive you.” She cartwheels away.

Matt turns to Adam, frowning. “Why’d you do that?”

“Because you were about to get inappropriate.” Adam leans in and kisses Matt’s temple. Then he drops his lips closer to Matt’s ear. “God, you can’t even keep it in your pants at work. How shameless.”

He laughs at the whole body shiver that floods through Matt’s body.

~

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Adam mutters, dropping his forehead in his hand.

Yuta’s got Matt pinned up against the wall with a hand around his throat. “Say that again,” Yuta growls. “I dare you.”

He’s pretty sure nobody else would notice, but Adam can see the barest hint of an outline of Matt’s hard dick in his jeans.

Matt stares at Yuta with gigantic eyes, then flutters his eyelashes.

“Let him go, Yuta,” Adam says, prying Yuta’s fingers off of Matt’s throat. Matt whimpers, and Adam does not want him to reveal why.

“He told me I wasn’t tough enough for the BCC,” Yuta says, glaring at Matt. “Make him take it back.”

“He’s goading you,” Adam says, trying to push Matt away. “Matt, dude, take it back before Yuta kills you.”

Matt looks over at Adam like Adam’s stolen his candy. “Why?”

“Because you probably want to keep your head on your body,” Adam says. “Please, keep it in your pants when it comes to people who are actually lethal.”

Yuta lights up. “You think I’m lethal?” Then the rest of the sentence process. “Wait, keep it in his – oh.” His eyes widen, and he looks over at Matt. “I, uh. Really?” He gets a soft little smile on his lips and he reaches out to bump the back of Matt’s hand with his.

“Back away from my boyfriend before I kill you,” Adam growls.

Yuta looks Adam up and down, like he’s trying to decide if it’s worth the fight. He shrugs. “Alright. But you know where to find me.” He winks at Matt and Matt giggles.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Matt.”

Matt beams and slides his hand into Adam’s. “Yeah.”

~

Matt squeezes himself between Nyla and Claudio during a companywide pep talk right before the start of Dynamite. Adam counts how long it takes before Matt starts being inappropriate. He doesn’t even get to double digits before he starts playing with Nyla’s hair.

“Matthew, you fucking idiot,” Adam mutters. “HR is right there.”

“But I was just –”

“Nope,” Adam says. He grabs Matt’s arm and yanks Matt in front of him. “Not in front of the whole company.”

“But Nyla –”

“If you say she started it, I’ll make you wait until next week.”

Matt shuts up.

~

Adam watches, almost embarrassed, during the Bucks vs. Danny and Sammy match where Matt straight up caresses Danny’s face mid match.

“He’s really at eleven tonight, isn’t he?” Kenny mutters. “What’d you do to him?”

“How the fuck is this my fault?” Adam asks. “He’s the one out there, like, presenting on live television.”

Kenny raises an eyebrow. “Because I know you, and I’m pretty sure you’re doing one of the Matt experiments you used to do back in New Japan.”

Adam opens his mouth to argue, but very quickly realizes he has no defense.

“Exactly,” Kenny says, patting Adam’s arm. “Good luck, though, Dr. Frankenstein. Have fun with your monster.”

~

Matt comes offstage and practically drags Adam into the first locker room when he’s done with the match, kissing him like he’s dying for it.

“Uh.”

Adam breaks away only for Matt to go at his neck like a horny leech to see Luchasaurus and Christian staring at them blankly. He pokes Matt’s ribs. “Matt, babe, this is the wrong room.”

“Don’t care,” Matt mumbles against his skin.

“I care,” Luchasaurus says, sounding surprisingly affronted.

Matt pulls away and blinks, and it appears at least some sense starts to return to him. “Right,” he says slowly. He grabs the handle of the door and backs away. “Right. Sorry.”

Adam smiles apologetically and follows Matt out of the room.

“We need to go to the hotel now,” Matt says, tone as urgent as if there was a bomb they had to diffuse. “Seriously. I’m gonna do something stupid.”

“Working up Yuta wasn’t stupid?”

“Shut up.”

Matt works in a furious frenzy as he packs up his stuff in the EVP room while Adam casually puts his things together. He’s done before Matt, because he’s not running around the room like a chicken with its head cut off.

He’s on his phone playing Tetris while Matt digs for a shoe when Nick comes in.

“Matt, where the eff did you go?” Nick asks. “We got backstage and you ran off. You okay?”

“He’s fine,” Adam says. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

Matt turns around, raising something black and blue triumphantly. “Found it!”

Nick looks between the two of them. “Yeah. Yeah, don’t tell me. I’d rather not be scarred today.”

Matt shoves the shoe into his bag and grabs Adam’s hand. “Come on, back to the hotel.”

“Later, Nick,” Adam says. “Don’t make any stupid choices like your brother.”

With a frown, Nick asks, “Does that imply my brother is making stupid choices, or that my brother is the stupid choice?”

“Yes.”

~

Adam sends up a quick thanks to the big guy that the cute bellhop isn’t working tonight, because Matt doesn’t get distracted the whole time through the drive, the lobby, the elevator, and the hallway. The door closes behind them and Matt’s hands are on Adam so quickly it feels almost impossible.

“Christ, let the door shut all the way,” Adam laughs. “So fuckin’ desperate.”

Matt whines, sliding his hands up Adam’s shirt. “I – yeah. Desperate.”

Adam licks his lips and grabs Matt’s hands, forcing them still. “Just can’t control yourself.” He shifts his voice a little lower, a little darker. “Can’t get enough of it, can you?”

Matt shakes his head. “No. Gotta – want your cock.”

“Not sure if you deserve it.” Adam puts his hands on Matt’s hips and pushes him toward the bathroom door. He turns Matt so he’s facing the mirror. “Look at that slut. Does he deserve to get fucked the way he wants?”

Matt bites his lip as he looks at himself in the mirror, considering the question so seriously Adam fights a smile. “Maybe?”

Adam laughs. “You tried to get it from so many people.” He trails his fingertips up and down Matt’s arms, drawing goosebumps. “Couldn’t wait for me. Maybe you don’t get it because you were so impatient.”

Matt’s lip juts out in the pout of the century. “I tried.”

“Not as hard as you should have,” Adam laughs in his ear. He grabs Matt’s hip, pulling him back against Adam’s own cock, which is already embarrassingly hard. “Mox, Kris, Nyla,” he presses a kiss to Matt’s neck in between each name, “Yuta, Danny, Claudio. And that’s only the people I saw,” Adam growls into Matt’s ear. He slides his hand into Matt’s hair and pulls it back to see Matt’s eyes flutter closed and his mouth fall open. “Who else did you whore yourself out to, huh?” He drags his lips across Matt’s cheek until he turns Matt’s head to meet his lips. Matt whimpers into his mouth, grinding his ass back against Adam’s cock. “Who else did you try to open yourself up for?”

“N-nobody else,” Matt gasps. “Only those ones. Only when you were looking.”

Adam laughs, harsh, as he moves his mouth away to bite at Matt’s earlobe. “Desperate and performing. As always.” He sighs. “Such a slut.”

Matt sighs at the word. “Mhm,” he murmurs. “Always. For you.”

“Any of them as good at is as I am?” Adam asks, sliding his fingertips into the waistband of Matt’s pants. “Any of them got a taste of what I got?”

“No,” Matt gasps, goosebumps breaking out over his skin. Adam slides his hands across Matt’s abs, up his chest to tweak nipples. “Nobody. Nobody like you.”

Adam hums in approval, rewarding Matt by sliding his hand down and cupping Matt’s hard dick through his sweats. Matt whines, hips pushing forward like he can’t stop himself, and Adam takes his hand away.

“You’re so mean,” Matt pants, dropping his head until Adam lifts his head to meet his eyes in the mirror. “You’re so mean to me.”

“You like it, though, don’t you?” Adam slowly pushes Matt’s pants down his hips, careful to make them catch on his dick. “You love it when I’m mean.”

Matt lets out a weird, wordless whimper, something drawn from deep within him, and it turns into a sob when Adam kneads his ass. “I do,” Matt whispers. “Fuck, I – I do.”

“Who do you belong to?” Adam turns Matt’s head so he looks into Matt’s blown pupils. “No matter who you go parade in front of, who do you come home to?”

“You,” Matt breathes. “Always, only you.”

“Good,” Adam laughs into his year. “Brace yourself on the counter, baby. And don’t you dare look away from that mirror.”

Matt nods, mouth still open.

Adam pulls the lube off the counter where he’d put it earlier today. He slides a finger in easy, always so easy, Matt is for him, and Matt cries out.

“Eyes open,” Adam snaps, and Matt obeys. “You take a finger so easy. Just like a whore to be so open about it.”

Matt whines, and it’s clear how hard he’s fighting to watch himself in the mirror. His eyes meet Adam’s in their reflection. “Please. Please, Adam, I want – only your cock, forever.”

Adam bookmarks that for later, because interesting, and slides in a second finger, scissoring to open Matt up further. Matt makes a choked off sound. “Yeah?” Adam asks. “That what you want? That what my good slut wants?”

Matt shakes his head. “No,” he gasps. “No, not enough, you know. You know I want you, Adam, I want you.”

He runs a third finger around Matt’s rim. “Yeah?”

Matt nods, and shouts as Adam slides the third finger in. He’s half sobbing in desperation now, fucking himself back on Adam’s fingers so relentlessly that Adam wonders if he could get off just watching it.

And he slides his fingers out without warning.

The noise Matt makes is almost a hiccup, and he glares, burning red, at Adam. But he doesn’t look away from the mirror.

“Good boy,” Adam murmurs, lips to Matt’s temple. “Look at you, following directions for once. What a good little slut.”

Matt nods, mouth so red and wanting that Adam has to turn his head to kiss him. He slicks himself up with one hand while he slides the other around Matt’s neck.

“Mine,” he growls into Matt’s mouth.

Matt pulls back, eyes huge and sweet. “Yours.”

He shifts Matt back to the counter. “Lean over, baby, you better hold on.” And he slides home.

Adam has been doing a damned good job of pretending the whole day wasn’t riling him up, wasn’t bringing him to the brink of sanity to fuck Matt in the middle of the ring. But now, feeling that slick heat clench around him, seeing Matt’s ecstatic expression, Adam finally admits to himself that he’s been just as desperate this whole time. He and Matt go a little wild with it, as he pounds into Matt without a second thought and Matt grips the counter with white knuckles.

“Don’t stop,” Matt whimpers. “Don’t you – give it to me like the whore I am.”

Adam raises an eyebrow. “Oh. Interesting.”

Matt nods. “I – I’m a slut, right?” He smiles at Adam in the mirror, but it falls away for a particularly devastating roll of his eyes. “So fuck me like one.”

Adam’s never been good at saying no to Matt, especially when he gets so gone that he’s swearing. Adam feels surrounded by Matt, his scent, his scorching heat, his noises, and thinks he could do this forever. Matt’s practically singing for him, from Adam’s name to desires for more to pleas to go harder. Adam does his best to oblige.

“Matt,” he gasps. “Matt, god, I love you.” He curls a hand around Matt’s hip and another around his cock.

“I thought you were being mean today,” Matt teases, grinning at him in the mirror.

“Can’t,” Adam whimpers. “Not now.”

Matt giggles and tangles his fingers with Adam’s at his hip. “I – god, so close – I love you too.”

Adam comes without warning, so hard his brain spins, deep within Matt. He has the sense to keep stroking Matt’s cock until he feels Matt’s cock spurt, hot and wet, all over his hand and the counter. He rests his head between Matt’s shoulder blades, coming down from somewhere near Neptune, and stays there until he can breathe steadily again.

“Did you mean it?” he mumbles, pressing a kiss to Matt’s tanned skin.

“Mean what?” Matt asks. He wiggles so Adam’s cock slips out of him and turns so he’s facing Adam. “You know I love you.”

Adam looks up and smiles at Matt, at his wrecked hair, at his red face. “The forever part,” he murmurs, brushing a rogue lock of hair off Matt’s face.

Matt looks away for a second, then turns those absurd eyes back on Adam. “I did.”

“Good,” Adam says, grinning. He thinks he must look just about as wrecked as Matt. He turns them around to look in the mirror. “I think forever works for me.”

~

Mini Playlist:

Desperate Measures - Marianas Trench

Take Me on the Floor - The Veronicas

Instigator - Kaci Brown

Mirrors- Natalia Kills

[doctorsiren]

give this angle another tri

[celesterayel]

ikk lukes the villain and whatever but atp its the casting directors fault, rick knew what was going to happen. you mean to tell me, your gonna dangle a cute hot mf with dimples and curly dark hair in front of me and just expect me not to cave? im weak!!!!! i literally simped over this cutie during his diary of a future president period bc teenage me knew what was up, i regret nothing sorry Percy bby and Annie my love <33333

[shirajellyfish]

Thank you!!

Ahh, he is running! Time to RACE! This gives off such fun vibes :)

Fanart for As long as we are loved; a fic by @shirajellyfish !! I adore what you've written so far! It's a very lovely fic; and the details are very vivid/well written! (For some scenes, it painted the scene a little too well and I had to take a moment. /vpos)

[dailydoseofdragon]

It’s Pride Month =}

[ineffectualbookseller]

there is something to be said for how much the Metatrons' offer of restoring Crowley to an angel changed things for Aziraphale, even beyond the face value of the offer

Azirphale eventually (and reluctantly) accepts the promotion under the presumption that he will be able to change heaven - "if I'm in charge, I can make a difference."

and obviously, Muriel and Jim/Gabriel are two key narrative players to show us why Aziraphale would think heaven can still be reformed - Muriel who was unbelievably lonely in heaven and, despite all their ineptitude, is so excited to experience earth for the first time (the fondness in Aziraphale's face during their scene together in the bookshop is so touching) - and Jim/Gabriel who Aziraphle once knew to be cold, unsympathetic, and remorseless but after having the memories and influences of heaven stripped away turns out to be helpful, curious, and self-sacrificing (we see Aziraphale come to terms with this change over the season, telling Jim in e2 that he's really not sure if he's still terrible but when Crowley is questioning Jim in e5, Aziraphale's sure he's just being silly)

but even after witnessing this, Azirphale isn't jumping at the offer to run heaven. He says so point blank, "I don't want to go back to heaven," but everything changes when he gets the offer to restore Crowley as an angel

and clearly, Aziraphale is so excited by the face-value offer, he and Crowley would be safe and they'd be together, and Crowley would never be punished for doing good again. Just look at his happy little hands when he's asking Crowley to pause his confession so he can share his own great news. He's beyond thrilled to be able to offer this to Crowley, to live this life with Crowley (before he realizes it's not a life that Crowley wants - those happy hands are devastating in hindsight)

so if bringing Crowley to heaven with him was the selling point, why is he still going after Crowley says no? Because in Aziraphale's eyes, the power to restore Crowley is the power to correct heaven's mistakes. So heaven can make mistakes - Aziraphale thinks the Metatron just admitted that heaven is fallible

that is HUGE

(this is also not what the Metatron was saying - but in this context what Metatron said doesn't matter, only what Aziraphale heard)

and this isn't just coming from some angel - the Metatron is the voice of God. The closest thing to speaking to God we have witnessed since 2500 BCE in the Job minisode (the most recent evidence of God speaking directly to a character). Regardless of where God actually is during this story, Azirphale would be taking the Metatron's word as the word of God

Aziraphale has been acting against what heaven says God wants since the beginning: giving away his sword in Eden to protect Adam and Eve from their punishment (which he then lies to God about but is still allowed to stay on Earth), lying to save Job's children and openly question God's role in the plan ("I… I don’t think… that is what God wants"), and of course stopping Armageddon with his Great Plan vs Ineffible Plan pedantry (and before this, his plan for most of s1 is to get in contact with someone higher than Gabriel because of course, God wouldn't actually want this) - and when he is finally found out, Gabriel and Michael cut his ties with heaven

but now might-as-well-be-God is walking into his bookshop and scolding the middle managers and saying they've been fucking up. And he tells Aziraphale that they were wrong about him and they were wrong about Crowley and Aziraphale's the one that's been in the right

(keep in mind that Aziraphale does not know that the Metatron has been on the same subcommittees as the archangels - after Michael and Uriel don't recognize him, he's probably assuming they have very little contact)

if Corwley falling was a mistake maybe everything else Aziraphale has been internally questioning is too. If heaven can make mistakes than something has been going wrong in heaven - a fault in operations not in design - there must something to fix

Aziraphale is a being of faith and he carries such guilt for questioning that faith. The idea that the Metraton is acknowledging a mistake must be such a balm to him

It's really no wonder he thinks he can change heaven after that offer

[youlocalidiotfrog]

Huh-

[djdrawerworld]

I WANT THIS TWINK OBLITERATED-!!

(I'll draw maxley as soon as I learn how to draw max ToT)

[dailydoseoffanfics]

i'm utterly flabbergasted and mildy disappointed that there's not enough starlo x reader content /j /lh

i'm desperate for more starlo x reader bro i read majority of fanfics of this doofus AND IT'S NOT ENOUGH. LIKE. THE AMOUNT OF IDEAS I HAVE FOR THIS MAN IS INSANE. LIKE.....YANDERE STARLO HEADCANONS OR STARLO WITH A YANDERE READER I WANNA SEE SOME DRAMA AND ANGST. I WANNA SEE STARLO WITH AN ASSHOLE READER. STARLO WITH ISEKAI'D READER (of course i'll mention that 💀).

OR LET'S JUST LEAN MORE INTO LESS-COMPLICATED STUFF LIKE STARLO WITH AFFECTIONATE READER OR MARRIAGE HEADCANONS. HOW ABOUT READER MEETING STARLO'S PARENTS? STARLO COMFORTING READER?

LET'S GO INTO MORE GOOFY IDEAS LIKE STARLO MEETING A MAGICAL GIRL READER. STARLO WITH A SPIDERMAN READER ??!?!?!?!?!!?

i'm obviously not trying to pressure you guys like if you guys wanna use some of my ideas (or not) then that's fine! if you don't wanna make one that's also fine! it's just that the lack of starlo x reader fanfics is making me go insane. LIKELIKELIKELIKELIKE AAAAAAAASSBG8DS8YV8YDASV8A6S8AS8VV8EEBYSABYDASBYDSABBB7WBASDU

anyways ty you guys for reading my yapping. hope yall have a nice day. (imgoinginsane)

[ttarksystem]

Today on "random bits of leopika dialogue that my brain throws at me":

"I regret a lot of things, sunshine... But I could never regret you."

[cheekblush]

really starting to believe that psychic who claimed i’m cursed

[the-final-sif]

I have Defeated Office's god awful policy of attempting to desperately trying to install bullshit I don't need onto my system and attempting to make it impossible to uninstall all the random bullshit. I stand victorious with my stand alone copies of powerpoint and excel and literally none of the other bullshit. I Win.

[astral-catastrophe]

me and the generic extra strong Tylenol and the pure rage in my system

[calamitydaze]

long tag ramble below u have been warned

[tinygarbage]

last night I smoked a bowl and rearranged half my house at 12:30 am while my partner was passed out from nyquil…I also wrote 1,000 words of nonsense…

[thelastspeecher]

testing different foods so I can know whether to keep them out of my diet or add them back in update:

mandarin oranges are a no-go in a v big way

but regular oranges are a-okay