#outlook can get the fuck off my computer

[the-final-sif]

I have Defeated Office's god awful policy of attempting to desperately trying to install bullshit I don't need onto my system and attempting to make it impossible to uninstall all the random bullshit. I stand victorious with my stand alone copies of powerpoint and excel and literally none of the other bullshit. I Win.

[queers-gambit]

God's Plan

prompt: your boyfriend carries the worst parts of his job home, bringing to life one of your deepest-seeded insecurities. or when Carmy calls you clingy.

pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader pairing: Carmy x Peach

fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear

collection masterlist: Clingy Baby

word count: 3.3k+

note: she's short. she's to the point. author doesn't want to hear a GODDAMN THING about "glorifying" toxic relationships. shut the fuck up, eat your cereal, read the fic or just scroll away.

warnings: cursing, small angst, short fic, author mildly gave up, hurt with no real comfort, allusion to toxic family relationship, insecurity, not edited.

part two: Two to Tango

"Hey, what're you still doin' here?"

You glanced up from your computer, smiling at your coworker, "Just trying to get the study notes finished so they can be used for the analysis."

"Okay...? But you realize what time it is, right?"

You hummed, glancing at the analog clock, "Just about 7?"

"Yeah, so, go home," she chuckled. "Work's still gonna be here tomorrow."

"I'll see you then," you dismissed softly, watching her smile and turn away from your desk. You tried to get back into work, but the truth was, you felt overly burned out, but still wanted to work because it'd make you feel better being "good" at your job.

So, in reality, you didn't get home until 10:56 pm, yet still beat Carmy. You ate something simple, cleaned up, got a shower, and crashed into bed. You didn't know the time, but Carmy eventually came home; his arm heavy around you when settling for sleep.

You were the first up and out the door the next morning, just barely seeing Carmy when he got up for coffee. You managed a single kiss before rushing away, needing to get to work on time. When you got there, your entire morning was blocked for client meetings, then you took lunch, later, team meetings, and then the last hour or so of work was meant for individual recreation.

Another day of staying late, trying to finish work you thought was important. Another day of getting home late, missing your man, going to bed, and only seeing him the following morning.

However, this time at work, your boss told you that the analysis meetings were pushed back by a week... So, technically, you stayed late and busted your ass for no literal reason! And your coworker's entire cup of coffee spilled on you. And your Outlook email was under maintenance, so, you couldn't really work. And then, to top off a really shitty week, your car was hit in the parking lot and now had a huge fucking dent.

You were beat.

You were overwhelmed.

You were miserable, stressed, righteously confused.

You didn't stay late that night. Instead, you left at a normal hour and texted Carmy:

what time do you think you'll be off?

He replied when you got to your car:

maybe around 8?

You sniffled, nodding, answering:

okay, see you when you get home.

As you exited the parking lot, he replied:

what? you're off?

And you answered:

yeah, couldn't stand being there much longer. think you could get off a little early?

When you made three turns, he sent back:

i'll try, peach 💙

When you got home, you felt utterly defeated. Life felt like a never ending shitshow that refused to alleviate most of the stress you forced to endure. You were in tears by the time you got in the door, angrily stripping and getting a long, hot shower. You cried a little longer. When you got out, you got dressed in cozy shorts and one of Carmy's sweatshirts; going about a few household chores when you realized it was already past 9.

You didn't really want to, but you texted Carmy again,

hey, are you gonna be much later?

You made a simple meal, eating it in silence. When you were doing dishes, Carmy answered,

i don't know, going over menu items with syd. text you on my way home

You just went to bed, exhaustion from the week catching up to you.

Sometime later, you felt Carmy crawl into bed beside you. You were only half awake, but still turned over and nestled into his chest, hearing him sigh. "You're home late," you mumbled.

"Sorry f'wakin' you, Peach," he whispered, pecking your forehead. "You good, baby?"

"S'been a long fuckin' week," you squeezed him.

He sighed, "Sorry it was rough, Peach, but hey, hey, back up a little, 's kinda warm."

"But I haven't seen you."

"I know, but it's just warm. We'll cuddle in the morning, okay?" You only sighed and turned back over to face away from him. You resettled with your pillow, just settling when he asked in a hardened tone, "You mad?"

"No, Carmen, go to sleep."

"You sound mad."

"I'm not."

"I don't mean to piss you off, it's just been a long night f'me and I don't want to cuddle right now," he said in a sharp tone that made your stomach coil and churn.

"Shut up, I'm not mad, Carmen, go to sleep."

He scoffed, your irritation spiking. "You're really fucking mad 'cause I don't want you laying on me right now?"

"No, Carmen, Jesus - "

"Callin' me fuckin' Carmen doesn't help," he snapped.

You sat up and turned to him, "You want me to be mad? Maybe I'm a little pissed off that I've barely seen my boyfriend this week! Not like you've made an effort to speak to me, but I've had a pretty shitty time at work, too - so, excuse the fuck outta me for feeling disappointed!"

"Disappointed in fucking what, Peach? In not wanting t'cuddle right now?"

"Maybe, yeah! I'm upset, stressed out, maybe I just wanted some comfort, God! Now you're all up in arms, I just wanted to go to sleep - but no, you want to pick at me!"

"Oh, Jesus, fucking Christ! You couldn't just talk to me about you having a shitty week, you gotta be laid up on me? When the fuck did you get so Goddamn clingy and desperate for fucking attention? Huh? So fucking desperate for love? Sorry you had a shitty week, darling, but you're not alone in that. Sorry if it's fucking hot and I just want to sleep."

Feeling yourself fighting a losing battle because he wasn't listening, you just sighed, "Okay, Carmen."

He scoffed again, turning over to face away from you, "Know what? Fuck you, sweetheart."

You stared at his back for a long minute, feeling shocked by his words. "You can be such a fucking dick, you know that?" You snapped, standing from bed.

"And you can be a dramatic bitch."

"Yeah, that's me, the bitch you chose, huh!?" You rolled your eyes and nodded sarcastically; taking the blanket from the end of the bed, figuring he wouldn't miss it since he was so fucking hot. With only your phone and charger, you went out to the living room and crashed on the couch; covering up and crying quietly into a pillow from the overwhelming stress built in your chest. You felt guilt plunging your stomach, tearing it apart; feeling as if it were your fault for having physical touch as a love language.

Sleep evaded you that night. About an hour before your alarm, you called in sick and shut your phone off, resettling in misery as Carmy left the bedroom for work. You didn't move, never opened your eyes. However, they popped open in surprise when Carmen shoved your shoulder, "Hey."

"What?" You muttered.

"You're late for work."

"Called in."

He snorted, "Yeah, must be nice."

You didn't say anything else, feeling utterly defeated by his sharp words. The lack of response made Carmy pause and glance over at you from the kitchen, honest surprise coloring his system because he usually knew you to bite back. But you were quiet and still, the only indication you were even alive being the slow drag of your shoulders.

He let the door slam after he left for work, and you instantly sobbed. What you didn't know was that Carmy had come back, forgetting something mundane, and came to a halt outside the door when he heard you crying. He felt guilty, but Carmy wasn't usually one to confront problems; he instead ran away, like always.

After a night of exhaustion, you finally cry yourself to sleep.

When Carmy got home that night after work, he found you still huddled on the couch. After a look around, he realized you hadn't moved all day; nothing to eat, nothing to drink... He wanted to wake you but still felt so fucking irritated from his job that the idea of reconciling with you felt far fetched. So, he did what he did best and isolated himself by going to the gym for a few hours.

You still hadn't woken up when he got back.

So, he just went to bed; hating sleeping alone but hating his pride more because it refused to let him get up and go get you. Carry you to bed. Smother you in apologies. Beg for forgiveness. He was cold that night.

You were awake around 4 am.

The entire apartment felt as cold and aloof as your boyfriend. You felt so silly for still being there, knowing you paid for an apartment of your own, but liking that Carmy's place was closer to your work. And he never asked you to leave, in fact, the times you went home, he was calling you within hours to beg you to come back because he hated sleeping alone.

Whatever happened to that lad? The one who was so in-love with you that he would desperately ask you to come "home" to him? Who was this man now? Who called you clingy, desperate... A bitch.

You could only stand to make coffee, feeling powerless in this tension. You didn't want him to ignore you any longer, feeling like you'd drop to your knees for his forgiveness if it would end this feud; but you weren't so naïve. You spent several long minutes mentally prepping yourself for more anxiety, telling yourself you could handle the day if you just powered through it. Everything should be fine so long as you didn't do anything else to upset him, as long as you didn't do anything to warrant him yelling at you - again.

You finally decided on an emotion, since you could feel so many at any given point in time, and since this situation was one you've never encountered before. Carmy had brought forth one of your biggest insecurities and then smashed it in your face like punk-ass siblings did to your birthday cake. You decided you were hurt by his words, tone, and actions; you were hurt by the man you loved unconditionally, and that was a terrifying thought on its own. He was once a man you thought couldn't do any wrong, to now being a man you were unsure of how to even speak to; fearful, as you once were as a child, to upset him and create hostility directed at you.

Carmy often forgot he didn't have a monopoly on toxic, complicated family dynamics, but being that Mikey was still so fresh for him, you kept quiet about your own issues in an effort to be a loving, supportive girlfriend. Yet even while trying not to upset anyone, to create tension, you somehow managed to. You felt your heart and soul shrivel into a withered raisin when you remembered your family and how they constantly put you down; saying that nobody wanted a girl like you who tried, tried, and tried again only to fail. They thought you were damaged goods, treated you as such and always smeared your name in the mud whenever you thought you had found someone to love you and be loved by you.

All that trauma was rearing its ugly head now, making doubt sink into the cracks of your relationship. No matter how hard he tried, Carmy couldn't ever take those words back once they've been said, and he had to understand that going forward, this would strain your relationship. Taking anger and frustration out on you was inappropriate, putting a bad taste in your mouth; making you wonder how the hell you'd ever move past this when his words circled your head like water draining from the sink.

Sometime around 9 am, you were curled up on the couch with your coffee and a book; Saturday dragging by slowly to allow you the reprieve of being off work. The bedroom door opened and you held your breath; sweat breaking out on your brow; heart stammering in your chest. When he came out, Carmy didn't look at you, which allowed you to watch him. He made a to-go cup of coffee, then shouldered his backpack before heading for the door.

"Carmy?" You asked softly in confusion, "I thought you were off today?"

"I am," he replied stiffly, "but I gotta run errands."

You didn't have time to respond before he was storming out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. You blinked in shock, confusion plunging your heart to your feet as you realized he didn't ask you to join him, in fact, he didn't appear to want to tell you his plans until you had to ask directly when he was walking out the door. You felt terrible, more tears swelling in your eyes at the discord your boyfriend prolonged.

Something in your heart snapped and you stood from your seat. With anger coursing through your veins, you turned into a miniature tornado and quickly started gathering whatever you could get your hands on that belonged to you. You had enough, you felt hurt, yes, we established this, but then the disrespect started to overflow out of your heart to color your blood. Never linger where you're not wanted, you should never tear yourself down to that level. Never should have to second guess yourself, either - especially in a space where you're supposed to be safe.

You started to wonder: is it clingy if you made dinner and saved him a plate? Is it clingy if you did his laundry? What about cuddling? Is that clingy? Well, apparently! What else are you wrong about? If you texted him? Asked his opinion? What about if you held his hand - is that clingy, too? Probably!

Physical touch and quality time were your love languages, but after this reaction, you wondered if everything you'd do from now on would be judged? Would you be crucified for showing your love? For trying to participate in your relationship?

All day, you moved your stuff back to your apartment. All shoes, clothes, purses, make-up, haircare and skincare products - any and all period products, too. You left fucking nothing; going as far as to lay face-down the photo of your two on his bedside stand. You'd of taken it, too, but you felt sick at the thought so you left it for him. Sunday night, you didn't return to his apartment, and Carmy didn't call to say goodnight; both figuring the other was still pissed off. Your Monday was long and annoying, but once it was over, you had to admit, it was strange returning to an empty apartment, heat up leftovers, eat while watching some Netflix show, and then crashing into bed - moving mechanically.

Days passed uneventfully, albeit, a bit sluggishly. And then, Thursday arrived, and with it, the shit that would hit the fan.

You were enraptured in this book by Anne Tyler called "Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant," and couldn't stop reading it. You nursed a mug of tea, the outside darkening with an approaching thunderstorm that would talk to you in the silence and send bolts of lightning to illuminate the city. A shrill ringtone then played, making you jump slightly and glance at your phone only to see Carmy's contact name and photo.

You stare at your phone for a long moment, and then, after convincing yourself that ignoring him would only add fuel to the fire, answered quietly, "Hello?"

"Peach? Hey, uh... Are you, um, still at work?"

"No?"

"Where are you, then?"

"I'm home."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"I'm standing right here and you're not, baby, unless you got superpowers or something?" He chuckled nervously, hearing nothing on your end. "In fact, I, uh... I don't see any of your things. You move 'em?"

He'd never admit it, but your personal touch in his living space transformed it into a home; and now that they were all gone, he hated how cold, dreary, and grey the apartment felt.

"Carmy, I mean my home. You know? The apartment I still pay for?"

"Oh, well... Why're you there?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I had to bring my stuff back and leave it somewhere safe."

"It was safe here, Peach," he argued.

"Yeah, but it's your space and last thing I need is to be yelled at and insulted again for being clingy 'cause I left clothes at your apartment."

"Fuc'k's sake," You heard him hiss under his breath, bringing tears to your eyes. "You know I don't mind, I want you to leave shit here so it's easier on you to commute. Look, you know it's Thursday, right? Does our standing date night ring any bells?"

"Okay, but we haven't honored that in weeks? You know, 'cause you've been really busy."

"I thought we could get back into it tonight."

You sighed, turning the page in your book, "No, I don't think so, but thanks anyway."

He took a long pause, asking nervously, "What's wrong, Peach?"

"Nothing. Is there anything else, Carmen? I'm in the middle of shit."

"Oh, uh, n-no, I guess that's it. You comin' over tomorrow?"

"No. I told my brother I'd help him this weekend."

"But tomorrow's... Friday?"

"Yeah, that's how a calendar works. I have to travel to get to him," you scoffed.

"You didn't think to tell me?"

"Why would I?"

"You tell me everything! You don't think that's something I should know? That my girl's not even gonna be here this weekend?"

"Well, you're the one who said I was fucking clingy, remember!?" You finally snapped. "So, I'm giving you all that space you wanted!"

"Baby - "

"No, it's a great idea. We need space, Carmen; this isn't fair to either of us anymore," you spoke seriously, the line going quiet.

"What?"

"We need space from this relationship."

"I don't. I don't need space, Peach, baby, no, just listen, okay? I'm so sorry, I came home stressed out and I took it out on you. I'm sorry, I really am, this isn't what I want. Okay? I'm sorry. Just - come back home and we can - "

"No, you know what? I think I'm the one who needs this space," you snapped. "You said some pretty fucked up things, Carmen, that you can't ever take back, and now that I know, I can't un-know what you think about me. So, I need time to sort myself out."

"What're you saying? A-Are you breaking up with me?"

"Not yet, no."

"Baby, don't do this. C'mon, okay? I'm sorry, baby, I-I-I was wrong for what I said, I didn't - I didn't mean it! None of it, okay? Know I love you, baby, please, just come home, okay? I'm so sorry, I love that you wanna be close to me, I shouldn't've pushed you away. I'm sorry, okay? Please, baby, I'm so sorry. I need you, Peach, please. Just come home, we'll talk it through, I promise, no yelling - "

"I think you already said it all. Your words were 'clingy' and 'desperate'. Oh, and you also called me a 'bitch', so, I'd hate to be the bitch that makes your already stressful life all the harder."

"I didn't mean that - "

"I gotta go, Carmen, we'll talk later, okay? Goodnight."

He froze when he listened to those three distinct beeps that indicated you hung up on him. Confusion and hurt now seeped into the cracks of Carmy's heart; wondering when the hell he'd become so Goddamn self destructive to ruin the best thing he's ever had - you. The apartment might as well turned into ice with the way the light left, your departure suddenly haunting him.

When will these boys learn? The love of a good woman is rare, they'd only ever be so lucky as to think they deserve a woman like you. Nobody ever gets to guilt you for your love language(s) and then grovel for forgiveness. You deserve better, you deserve more; whether you could see that right now or not, you deserved to be loved in the best way for you. And sometimes, that means walking away from something you once thought was exactly what you wanted, but perhaps, never what you needed - call that God's Plan.

[ part two: ] Two to Tango

requesting rules and masterlist

The Bear masterlist

Clingy Baby collection masterlist

[lazeecomet]

The Story of KLogs: What happens when an Mechanical Engineer codes

Since i no longer work at Wearhouse Automation Startup (WAS for short) and havnt for many years i feel as though i should recount the tale of the most bonkers program i ever wrote, but we need to establish some background

WAS has its HQ very far away from the big customer site and i worked as a Field Service Engineer (FSE) on site. so i learned early on that if a problem needed to be solved fast, WE had to do it. we never got many updates on what was coming down the pipeline for us or what issues were being worked on. this made us very independent

As such, we got good at reading the robot logs ourselves. it took too much time to send the logs off to HQ for analysis and get back what the problem was. we can read. now GETTING the logs is another thing.

the early robots we cut our teeth on used 2.4 gHz wifi to communicate with FSE's so dumping the logs was as simple as pushing a button in a little application and it would spit out a txt file

later on our robots were upgraded to use a 2.4 mHz xbee radio to communicate with us. which was FUCKING SLOW. and log dumping became a much more tedious process. you had to connect, go to logging mode, and then the robot would vomit all the logs in the past 2 min OR the entirety of its memory bank (only 2 options) into a terminal window. you would then save the terminal window and open it in a text editor to read them. it could take up to 5 min to dump the entire log file and if you didnt dump fast enough, the ACK messages from the control server would fill up the logs and erase the error as the memory overwrote itself.

this missing logs problem was a Big Deal for software who now weren't getting every log from every error so a NEW method of saving logs was devised: the robot would just vomit the log data in real time over a DIFFERENT radio and we would save it to a KQL server. Thanks Daddy Microsoft.

now whats KQL you may be asking. why, its Microsofts very own SQL clone! its Kusto Query Language. never mind that the system uses a SQL database for daily operations. lets use this proprietary Microsoft thing because they are paying us

so yay, problem solved. we now never miss the logs. so how do we read them if they are split up line by line in a database? why with a query of course!

select * from tbLogs where RobotUID = [64CharLongString] and timestamp > [UnixTimeCode]

if this makes no sense to you, CONGRATULATIONS! you found the problem with this setup. Most FSE's were BAD at SQL which meant they didnt read logs anymore. If you do understand what the query is, CONGRATULATIONS! you see why this is Very Stupid.

You could not search by robot name. each robot had some arbitrarily assigned 64 character long string as an identifier and the timestamps were not set to local time. so you had run a lookup query to find the right name and do some time zone math to figure out what part of the logs to read. oh yeah and you had to download KQL to view them. so now we had both SQL and KQL on our computers

NOBODY in the field like this.

But Daddy Microsoft comes to the rescue

see we didnt JUST get KQL with part of that deal. we got the entire Microsoft cloud suite. and some people (like me) had been automating emails and stuff with Power Automate

This is Microsoft Power Automate. its Microsoft's version of Scratch but it has hooks into everything Microsoft. SharePoint, Teams, Outlook, Excel, it can integrate with all of it. i had been using it to send an email once a day with a list of all the robots in maintenance.

this gave me an idea

and i checked

and Power Automate had hooks for KQL

KLogs is actually short for Kusto Logs

I did not know how to program in Power Automate but damn it anything is better then writing KQL queries. so i got to work. and about 2 months later i had a BEHEMOTH of a Power Automate program. it lagged the webpage and many times when i tried to edit something my changes wouldn't take and i would have to click in very specific ways to ensure none of my variables were getting nuked. i dont think this was the intended purpose of Power Automate but this is what it did

the KLogger would watch a list of Teams chats and when someone typed "klogs" or pasted a copy of an ERROR mesage, it would spring into action.

it extracted the robot name from the message and timestamp from teams

it would lookup the name in the database to find the 64 long string UID and the location that robot was assigned too

it would reply to the message in teams saying it found a robot name and was getting logs

it would run a KQL query for the database and get the control system logs then export then into a CSV

it would save the CSV with the a .xls extension into a folder in ShairPoint (it would make a new folder for each day and location if it didnt have one already)

it would send ANOTHER message in teams with a LINK to the file in SharePoint

it would then enter a loop and scour the robot logs looking for the keyword ESTOP to find the error. (it did this because Kusto was SLOWER then the xbee radio and had up to a 10 min delay on syncing)

if it found the error, it would adjust its start and end timestamps to capture it and export the robot logs book-ended from the event by ~ 1 min. if it didnt, it would use the timestamp from when it was triggered +/- 5 min

it saved THOSE logs to SharePoint the same way as before

it would send ANOTHER message in teams with a link to the files

it would then check if the error was 1 of 3 very specific type of error with the camera. if it was it extracted the base64 jpg image saved in KQL as a byte array, do the math to convert it, and save that as a jpg in SharePoint (and link it of course)

and then it would terminate. and if it encountered an error anywhere in all of this, i had logic where it would spit back an error message in Teams as plaintext explaining what step failed and the program would close gracefully

I deployed it without asking anyone at one of the sites that was struggling. i just pointed it at their chat and turned it on. it had a bit of a rocky start (spammed chat) but man did the FSE's LOVE IT.

about 6 months later software deployed their answer to reading the logs: a webpage that acted as a nice GUI to the KQL database. much better then an CSV file

it still needed you to scroll though a big drop-down of robot names and enter a timestamp, but i noticed something. all that did was just change part of the URL and refresh the webpage

SO I MADE KLOGS 2 AND HAD IT GENERATE THE URL FOR YOU AND REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGE WITH IT. (it also still did the control server and jpg stuff). Theres a non-zero chance that klogs was still in use long after i left that job

now i dont recommend anyone use power automate like this. its clunky and weird. i had to make a variable called "Carrage Return" which was a blank text box that i pressed enter one time in because it was incapable of understanding /n or generating a new line in any capacity OTHER then this (thanks support forum).

im also sure this probably is giving the actual programmer people anxiety. imagine working at a company and then some rando you've never seen but only heard about as "the FSE whos really good at root causing stuff", in a department that does not do any coding, managed to, in their spare time, build and release and entire workflow piggybacking on your work without any oversight, code review, or permission.....and everyone liked it

[cuddlytogas]

8 shows to get to know me better

tagged by @bookshelfdreams (thank you!) uh...... nearly two weeks ago, which is actually less than i thought! >.> so, not just shows i like, but shows that encapsulate my personality... hmm... let's see.....

okay i mean obviously we've gotta start with Our Flag Means Death. period piece (and EARLY C18th, that's less common than i'd like!), mundane comedy, pirates, queer as hell, lots of body and accent diversity (accent diversity!!! in a period piece!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)... if it was just a bit more accurate about boats, it'd just be my brain on the screen XD

I'm putting Elementary on here, because it's definitely in the top three Sherlock Holmes adaptations, and you can't understand me without understanding my preoccupation with early detective fiction and queer history and adaptation analysis. but Elementary specifically has Lucy Liu and a Sebastian Moran plot, which are also dear to my heart :)

Stellar Firma. weird british improv. sci-fi comedy that if you think about it too long turns sharply into existential horror. anarchist anti-capitalism. an interesting and complicated sentient computer. also i love everything Tim Meredith does, so, jot that down

on the note of sci-fi comedy that's secretly existential horror: Red Dwarf, maybe? even when it's bad, it makes for a FASCINATING encapsulation of, like, the inevitable entropy of the classic sitcom format, or late 80s/early 90s homophobia, and god knows I love to over-analyse that shit

John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme. not JUST season 9, although season 9 is also Everything To Me (queer characters! ACE CHARACTER?? complicated but generally very sweet family dynamics!! interesting format and structure!! lawry lewin is there!), but the whole show is just whimsical and silly and full of puns and historical jokes and... it's just so fucking refreshing, and Finnemore's such a good writer it makes me angry

Good Omens s1 is actually an extremely good encapsulation of my existential outlook (through the lens of christianity rather than atheism, but like... well, yeah). also: those bitches gay, and indulging in earthly delights like oysters and sushi and old books is Very Important

I really liked bookshelf's idea of putting in something you hate (and Vikings was an excellent fucking choice there), so it's gotta be Sherlock. what a wild disappointment that show was, for so very many reasons, all encapsulated by the hbomb video essay <3

Hornblower. what can I say? I watched it way too young and imprinted on the boats and learned a lot about personal and political structures in closed societies. also, Ioan Gruffudd and Paul McGann are hot.

there's probably something huge I'm forgetting about, but oh well, it's a sunday, i'm allowed to slack off XD

not tagging anyone because I'm lazy, so consider this your excuse if you want one! <3

[chronicbloodynoses]

idk maybe it’s the calm b4 the storm but going from an emotional low to a crazy emotional high??? like idk how to explain it but i just feel so great i feel content with my life like of course there’s always the little things but i just feel like i have such a positive outlook rn and i’m feeling pretty great from it all

(crow from the future. this is a long yap sesh that i typed for like 30 mins. break bc it’s kinda a lot 😜)

maybe it’s the being able to talk to someone, or maybe it’s the feeling set in my friendships, or maybe finding out how an old friend actually thought about me, but i’m just really happy rn???? idk maybe i can send some form of happiness or positivity to you guys????

no matter where you are, no chaos can remain in chaos. whether you’re in or out of school, everything is always changing. you can take the steps needed to make changes, but when you’re helpless, the world still will change. do you think that this will still be happening in a year? or maybe two years? if you think about how you were then, you can see a change. but if you think about it, the change wasn’t truly “noticeable” you can never know something until it’s over, and you’re out. you can’t see the change as it happens, but you can look back and reflect on it. does any of this make sense? maybe you need to just do drugs that aren’t harmful. today in english we watched vaping videos and all that because it’s red ribbon week. idk if i mentioned it b4, but i was vaping a little bit socially before, but i really don’t want to create a habit like that. i’m happy with my edibles, and that’s that. if you notice an addiction, i think you should quit cold turkey as soon as you can, but if you know yourself, then why not, yknow? that is, for what i consider harmless at least. i don’t think i’ve ever heard of a weed death, unless in the form of an overdose but that goes for anything. i think you should do what makes you happy and stay safe when you do it, yknow? know yourself limits and prioritise your responsibilities over having fun. #besafe #dontkillyourself #dontgetaddictedtodrugs #dontgethealthshiz yeah idk my whole thing w this nothing burger ass post (bc yall know i cannot stop yapping) but im feeling good and hopefully you guys are also feeling good and having fun and being safe in anything that you do. i’m also tired. i also just got recommended my kinda ex? but def ex friend, on tiktok. my first kinda partner but we were friends b4 and it was online and we dated for a week b4 they broke up with me, which i was super happy about bc almost instantly i realised i was NOT into them in that way, and kinda funny so when they wanted to get back together a couple days later, i was a big stupid FART who couldn’t tell people things (in the past, im better now) and so i basically told them that i only am in love with dead people. the deceased. they asked in a very indirect way and i basically just redirected each part to dead people. yeah uh yknow more yap fest my dream last night will go here too. paragraph break!

so my dream last night was not JUST a dream. it was a nightmare and kinda a stupid one but my worst nightmares lately all have to do w this. so my computer had a virus LOL and it was like?? through xbox??? and it was pissibg me off and it opened up like 500 tabs of all minecraft over and over again and my computer is like TWEAKING and i try to open up malwarebytes and instead of my usual thing it gives me this shitty fake error basically saying “this version doesn’t work anymore, sorry! click the link below to download the new version!” and i’m like FUCK my computer has a BAD VIRUS and it’s duplicating all my things and overloading my computer and then i’m like okay. i gotta go to malwarebytes and then the actual download to a REAL version. and im struggling to type it and then when i do it and i click the link, its a fake website, and i go back and find the real one. it redirects me to roblox. and i’m like????????? and i go back to get out of roblox and it gives me a short pop up b4 sending me back to roblox saying “windows error” so im like FUCK. THIS BITCH BLOCKED MALWAREBYTES. and i’m thinking and i decide i need to get a flash drive, download malware bytes on it, and use it from there and then my alarm goes off

also little bonus so i wake up at 6, and i basically just relax and hang out in my bed and wake up til 6:30, but sometimes i fall asleep again which is when this dream took place, but b4 i fell asleep i was watching community and so im my dream i hear it and im like watching it on my phone while im dealing w the virus and im comprehending everything (ive already watched community like 3 times, i KNOW these episodes so its not like i watched a new one in my sleep, i was just hearing it while i slept and it made its way in) and then when i woke up from my “alarm” 6+7 i have that one song from south park playing (from night of the living homeless. i get woken up by cartman singing abt the homeless. and i chose this fate.) and 6:30 it’s just a vvvrrr vvvrrrrrrr so in case i sleep through 1+2 i have 3 to wake me OR to give me a checkpoint for getting ready (i leave ~7:30)

little bit sad bc my wife just called and she’s not gonna b there tomorrow probably BUT i know she’s BEEN needing a break day so im happy that she’s able to +allowed to have a break from school and everything and be able to catch up on schoolwork

anyway’ i should prob go to bed ive been typing and yapping for the past likeeee at LEAST 30 mins just bc i could just type my every through literally forever but that doesn’t mean i SHOULD! uhhh yeah GOODNIGHT GUYS! GOODNIGHT TO THE LIKE. 5 OF YOU. I HEART YOU! THANKS FOR GETTING THIS FAR AND HEARING MY YAPPING!

[raspberryconverse]

I can't tell you how many people assume that because I'm a web developer, I know any and all things computers/cell phones.

Did I recently replace my loud, apparently busted laptop fan with a new one I bought on eBay? Yes.

Am I a hardware or software person? Not really.

First off, web developers and software developers are not the same thing. If you get an actual degree (as opposed to a certificate), you'll have to learn a little of the other side, but after those few classes, you'll focus on your side. Of course, you're allowed to take more classes outside of your program (like I took a few Android dev ones), but that really just delays your entrance into the workplace, which can pose a problem (more on that later.

So yes, I learned several programming languages, but idek any of the modern Javascript frameworks (Angular, React, Node, etc) because they were just coming into popularity right as I was finishing my web dev degree and they hadn't been worked into the curriculum yet. The fact that I had to stretch out my program an extra semester because I got fucked over with financial aid (they transferred all of my gen eds from my bachelors instead of just the ones I actually needed for the degree and made them electives when I actually wanted to take other IT electives, which put me at 150% of the credits required within 2 semesters and no longer eligible for financial aid), which put me in a tough spot career-wise.

I'm forever grateful that a headhunter found me for my current job because idk where I'd be right now if he hadn't. And because I'm strictly in email, the difficulty level is low, especially in our particular market (B2B as an office supply distributor) and the role I'm in (my team members do some cool shit for our customers, but I'm the one who just does all the newsletters and other communications like recalls and webinar invites, etc). Yes, there are tons of cool innovations happening in email, but it's just not really worth the effort for our particular niche. I'm not going to be using AMP in an email to tell you there's a hurricane and the delivery of your post-its might be delayed. Hell, I'm not even going to personalize that shit.

So I might be able to tell you why your computer isn't working, but 9 times out of 10, I'm going to start with The First Troubleshooting Step ("Did you try turning it off and turning it back on again?") and then head right to Google if that didn't work. And 10 times out of 10, Imma be annoyed that it turned into a lmgtfy.

If you need HTML/CSS help (especially if we're talking making shit not break in Outlook), I'm your gal. But if your computer/phone is doing something weird, Google that shit and leave me TF alone.

Me: oh yeah, if you think school photography is hard now, try imagining doing this with film.

The new girl: what’s film?

Me: … film. Like… film that goes in a film camera.

New girl: what’s that mean?

Me: … before cameras were digital.

New girl: how did you do it before digital?

Me:… with film? I haven’t had enough coffee for this conversation

[sleepyivoryrose]

COMING IN CHIMI CHANGA HOT!!!

(I am not very creative for greetings today...I am tired and feeling kind of heavy, so yeah...)

It's time for a update!

A life update!

Yesterday was a great day. Today was kinda mid. 5/10 even in the most optimistic of outlooks.

It finally cooled down a little bit! But the air is humid and opressive. At least it's not hot. I can deal with humidity, kind of, just not with heat. (I am a walking heater myself, so I basically incinerate into nothingness everytime there's over 26 degree Celsius.)

Actually, this is probably my computer talking, which I possesed with the last strength of my soul. (If I'm not extra silly today, I feel like crying.)

Not that my soul has very much strength today, considering I feel like I'm carrying it like a business woman her heavy ass purse.

At least they're both priceless. For better or for worse.

--

I went to buy groceries today, since it cooled off. And I found roasted chestnuts! They're of course not as good as fresh, warm ones, but they actually tasted like chestnuts (I expected for them to be absolutely tasteless, since it's summer, and the best chestnuts are harvested in October, I think.) Maybe that's the reason why they were expensive, but the person who acompanied me said, the other nuts were too salty for a healthy diet, so...qwq I love nuts, they're great. And good for brainpower! At least they call it "student food" over here...

---

Back in the day I used to joke that there is no human behind the screen, just a very intelligent hamster. I still pull it off sometimes when the opportunity arises.

Man, I wished I was cute like a hamster. Just shuffling food into your mouth and sleeping the whole day. Then at night, gnaw at the bars to protest like a prisoner with a metal cup in the times of Elvis Presley.

Well, maybe not the last part. I also found it parts amusing, and at times really concerning, how our hamster Lisa climed up the bars to then hang like a monkey from the ceiling bars. Not exactly the climbing...just the falling down with a thud everytime into the ground, since she didn't know how to climb back down.

Actually, that would be a good metaphor for my life. Climbing up, then not knowing how to get the fuck out of my situation and just letting yourself fall with a painful thud.

Hamsters are so funny. They're always feeling like they're getting a heart attack in any second when they're not sleeping, and they got cute, black button eyes.

--

Talking about cute, I hope my friend is alright. She worked very hard for her degree, I hope she recieves it. It would kind of suck if she worked her ass off just to get a giant middlefinger.

---

What else...

...oh yeah! I finally got Cloud Tea in Food Fantasy! I worked hard (aka doing the Airship again...and again...and again...!) since she's normally a Whale Food Soul (Technically...it's a Drink Soul...but that sounds kinda stupid...-squints eyes-) And that after having to start from zero because for some stupid ass reason, I decided to fuse away all my shards, like a dingus, I finally got her. She's...not very useful, considering there are way better Healers than her, but...I got bragging rights. And she's very pretty. (Now I need to get Sweet and Sour Fish, but I can't even manage to win the Tsuchigumo stage, so I can basically kiss their link goodbye...even though their love story is very cute.)

----

Annnd it's finally August. Which means- meteorologically speaking, only one month till summer is over. It's sad that I spend my days hiding alone in my room because of the heat, but I don't got friends over here anyways, and most club activities are either for teenagers or for senior citizens.

I remember fondly the days were I used to go picknick with our bikes with my ex best friend and my brother, roleplaying pokemon fights. Then, later, actually making friends in my city and sometimes going to the movies or something. Yes, those were the times.

But I already wrote a shitton for today. Weird, how first I think "I've got nothing to tell!" and then I proceed to talk and talk and talk. I guess my hispanic roots are showing themselves.

Anyways, enough blabbering for today!

See ya later, alligator!

[tsotc]

your oc is very pretty, i like how the custom horns look. what's amnuai like personality wise?

Hi, hello, awake and back at my computer again. Fucking lizard time.

(ignore that i am chronically unable to take good gposes it comes with being wasian or something)

Amnuai Dokbua (32) is a hired hand that lives and works around coerthas. Cer main job, or rather, what people tend to pay cer to do is the retreival of bodies and the clean up of fights or disasters. It's not high paying stuff but it's enough gil to buy bread on the road and to pay rent at Facade, the (rp venue i hope to run with my boyfriend) bar / therapy office that ce lives at and helps with manual labour for.

Ce's very blunt and tends not to take much shit just through virtue of being on cer own for so long (parents and siblings killed by the temple knights, only left alive because ce was hiding when it all happened bc ce was small enough to be able to do that) but at the very core of it is that Amnuai Loves You and Wants You To Live.

To cer the greatest gift is that of life, ce works with so many dead bodies and the main thing motivating cer to keep going is that need, the want to have the body respected. Ce often pushes cerself through hell just to get someone's body back to their family, to find out who that family is even, just to make sure they're honoured for the life that they lived. Ce's incredibly stubborn about this and very much loathes nihilism as an outlook, tending to push people into looking after themselves (sometimes against their will) if it means they get to live happier, longer. Ce loves you, the idea of you, the idea of the life of you, so much and there's little you can do to stop it, for better or for worse.

Amnuai is autistic as hell btw. Being alone and in the field of work ce is means ce doesn't get to talk to other often outside of really heavy situations so ce never adapted to be able to do that. Shit at small talk, has to defend cer opinions re: the body and death a lot so will launch into long speils about things ce's passionate with little prompt. Keeps cer head down for the most part and just wants to get paid.

Can come accross as very rude and is known for giving dressings down without much prompting (helping others to avoid helping the self) but none of it is really from malice, ce just doesn't know when not to say shit sometimes. Has really good survival skills and can do a lot of things to a level where ce would need to to be able to live in bumfuck nowhere coerthas. Enjoys fishing and writes recreationally when ce gets the chance.

Cer favourite drink to get from Facade is an elderflower and champagne cocktail because cer mother used to make elderflower sweets on cer birthday and ce enjoys the more floral and sweeter notes of the drink in general. Cer gender is whatever is convinient for you and cer sexuality is whatever the fuck the silly rabbit that ce keeps alive and from dying constantly chooses to be.

oh also additional charm point: tail got trapped between two rocks once so it had to be cut off, sad!

[sexydreamgirl]

hi!! im that anon that asked abt turning back time and worrying abt time whatever. i totally forgot i asked that lol! that persisting actually went horribly because i was giving fear power and i was just so scared i spiraled for like 3 days. but yesterday i said no FUCK that. im gonna reclaim my power. idk if this is a success story or an ask but im gonna put it here anyway.

i put up sticky notes on the side of my computer to remind myself to NEVER look back, and that morning i decided that i had perfect self concept and that i WOULD be aware of it before the end of the day. i was so scared! lol but i kept persisting. i didnt give fear power, i pushed it by and said NO WAY! NOTHING can get in the way of me and inevitably becoming aware of my perfect self concept.

as the day went on i had less anxiety and everything and around 4 i did some tarot reading, it was all very very great outlook, but it definitely predicted something. two cards basically said that my ambitions were running the risk of being undermined by my timidity and lack of self confidence, and the other card said that i will likely find myself with a problem but i will overcome it and triumph, i have the courage to do so. it scared me a little but i kinda brushed it off.

flash forward an hour, im washin dishes and im like damn i feel pretty fuckin good abt my self concept actually! i sat down and rhe feeling faded but i went back to my room and suddenly i looked at the clock and i laughed so hard that i started crying. july 24th?? fr? lmao?? like...thats just not true. i couldnt stop, i was so happy i just knew that the world was in my pocket. i just knew that theres no way its july 24th, its insane to even think about anything but my desires being the truth. i genuinely truly felt inevitable peace in my desires, i didnt even desire them in the 3d anymore. that morning i felt like id never get out of that cycle of lack and anxiety so bad i wanted to throw up and couldn't sleep but there i was. it truly was the best feeling i could ever ask for.

but it faded. and i know it was an accidental reversal. i had a twinge of fear that i could jinx it, reverse it. before then i dont think i ever thought of the concept of knowing a manifestation couldnt be reversed, especially not as a part of a good sc, it just never crossed my mind because it seemed obvious. it was a fear i couldnt push back and ignore. i didnt realize then that dwelling on the old story and doubting and all that has no power, it doesnt matter if you do that. i couldnt tell if it was birds before land or a reversal at first but i decided it was a reversal, it makes more sense and it feels more uplifting that i truly did do it. i doubted so much and i was so scared but in the end i really did become aware of it. even though it faded i stuck true to the reading, i wouldnt let it bring me down, this is just proof of how powerful i am. i didnt fail, its just a speck of dirt in the palm of god. im still scared ofc haha, but today ill be doing the same thing but ensuring it'll be forever. that i'll never reverse it, that's impossible.

i'm scared but i'm going to do my best to not let a thing stop me. i did it! everything will only get easier from here. if you have any input though id love to hear it

"i didn't fail, it's just a speck of dirt in the palm of God"

This right here. You may have doubts, you may feel fear but you still choose to have courage and continue regardless of what you're feeling. This is persisting.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Face under the White Cloak.

Say...Kyoko?

What is it?

I know that we’re already out here and everything, so now might be a bad time to be asking this but...

Be real with me. How much do you trust this “Whitecloak” person? 

If Makoto trusts her, then I trust her. But I will confess to being a little skeptical.

The unfortunate thing is that Makoto is the type of person to always have faith in people, regardless of who they are, what they’ve done, or even if he’s never met them. 

It’s a positive mindset to have, but a naive one. I’ve told him so myself.

???: Then I will do what I can to not betray that mindset.

Huh?

Greetings.

Oh, you’re here...You heard all that, huh?

Don’t worry about upsetting me. You have every right to be skeptical. The legitimacy of the information I have will prove my worth.

Then by all means, what are we dealing with?

*Whitecloak takes a hand out from under their hood and shows Kyoko and Four an image on their phone. She shows them a photo.

This is Pamela Potts, called Pam by her friends. She’s an unlicensed, underground reporter, podcaster and political dissonant. I’d like you to listen to this.

*She reaches over to the phone and taps the screen. An audio file begins to play.

Pam: On the next episode of Scrappy Suspicions, I’m chatting with someone deep inside Emilia Feng’s inner circle! He’s promised me something that will finally expose Feng for the tyrant I KNOW she is. This is gonna blow the roof right off Fang Inc. Central HQ! See you next week, super sleuths~

Ah, I recognize her. She’s pretty famous among younger audiences because of her lateral outlook on society and politics. She’s always had a bone to pick with Emilia, and I’ve respected that.

So she’s like you? She fights against Fang Inc. but in a different way?

Not just fang inc. Pam’s a dirt-slinger all around. Fang Inc. is her target of choice, but she’s railed against sketchy political figures, the local police, and other tech-titans.

Sounds like you’d be unstoppable if you teamed up together.

Unfortunately, Pam flies solo for the most part, and she doesn’t let many people know where she is unless she’s interviewing them. We couldn’t risk tracking her down or sending her a message claiming to be the freedom fighter group that fights against Fang Inc. It’d be too risky for everyone involved.

I’d be happy to meet her, but...I’m guessing that episode never aired?

Pamela went missing after she dropped this tease, and the episode never aired. However, if she was able to record at least a part of the interview, or anything scandalous on Fang Inc...

Yeah, it doesn’t matter what info she had. It’ll prove useful, I’m sure. She’s been digging into Emilia for a while, so if what she has isn’t useful enough to squeeze Emilia’s tits into a vice, we can bring her on the team and find something with her.

Unfortunately, I wouldn’t get your hopes up.

Huh? Wh-Why not?

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I tracked Potts down to this location, and I’ve found her.

That’s...not good news at all.

Huh? Wh-Why? We know where she is?

Yes...and if we know...Then more than likely...

What Kyoko is trying to say is that I was able to track Pamela Potts down, even though my technology and resources are severely limited. If I can do it, then so can Fang Inc. And the bad news is...

!!!??

!!!??

The bad news is...they did...

*Whitecloak leads Kyoko and Four behind an alleyway and into a secret hideaway. What they find is a ton of trashed computers, and Pamela Pott’s dead body...

GOD DAMN FUCKIN’ SHIT!

*Four starts repeatedly punching the wall in rage.

Four! Calm down!

Sorry! Sorry...I’m just...so FUCKING pissed! 

She was doing some real good, you know!? FUCK!

Let it be known that she was already dead by the time I found her. I wanted to investigate, but I figured I would call you about it.

And why didn’t you tell us that she was dead?

I figured it would deter you.

Then you clearly don’t know us very well. When we get pissed off, it riles us up! Now I’m more motivated than ever!

We’ll figure out the truth, and make the bastards pay!

Then we’d best hurry.

How come?

The government intervention means that we only have a short amount of time to wrap everything up. Hopefully, your other cohorts are preparing for their missions, but we only have 30 hours left before they make their move.

And when that happens, Emilia will launch the Kerokuma’s.

Then there really is no time to lose. Let’s get cracking.

Hm...looks like a lot of people pass through here.

How can you tell?

There are footprints made in blood here. Well...bootprints to be more accurate.

Based on the tread, it’s undoubtedly a paramilitary supplier.

...I’m impressed. Have you ever thought of maybe specializing in forensics?

Well, I am a licensed biochemist, so I guess that’s not too far a cry.

I’ll tell you one thing that’s confusing me...I don’t see the point of the graffiti.

*Four points to the walls of the hideout. They’re graffitied from top to bottom with artwork depicting anarchy.

I agree...it’s a bit much...Do you recognize the patterns?

Well, yeah. This area is ripe with thugs and underground neer-do-wells. They think they’re hot shit, and they like leaving graffiti everywhere they trash up.

But as thick headed as kids can be these days, I really don’t think any of them would murder someone in cold blood. 

Did they have any motive?

I’m sure they must have. Pam released several podcasts critical of rambunctious youth. You’d think they’d be used to it by now though. They’re criminal gangs; they don’t deserve flowers or thank-you letters.

But even if there may have been some sort of motive, this doesn’t seem like a street gang’s usual garbage if you ask me.

In that case, it’s more than likely that Fang Inc. or Zetsubou, or whoever was really responsible for Pam’s death left the art here to frame those gangs.

That makes sense.

[An hour or so later]

*Four, Kyoko and Whitecloak turn the entire hideout upside down looking for clues, when at long last.

...!

Guys. I think I found something.

What?

Would one of you two mind giving me a-

BOOOST!?

There you go.

*Whitecloak suddenly lifts Kyoko up onto her shoulders.

Wow, you’re surprisingly strong.

I kinda have to be to survive for so long. Luck alone doesn’t yield results.

Well, thanks. Mind keeping yourself steady?

*Kyoko reaches up and grabs something in the top right corner of the room. Whitecloak lets her down gently, and Kyoko shows her allies what she snagged.

A tablet?

The killer’s nabbed Pam’s gear, but must not have seen the tablet. She seems to have logged conversations on it.

Give me the tablet. I’ll see if I can decrypt it.

*COUGH!* *COUGH!*

*Four covers her mouth and starts spluttering.

Sorry...I think the smell is starting to get to me...

Hm...Then how about we vacate the premises. While Whitecloak’s decrypting the tablet, I’ll call the police to let them know about Pamela’s body.

That would be great. Thanks.

*A short time passes, and the police show up to the crime scene. The girls all vacate the area and go to a more private spot.

Alright, I finished the decryption. Kirigiri was right. There’s more audio having been recorded on here.

Can you play it?

Of course.

*Whitecloak plays the recording.

Pam: Ok, you’ve agreed to speak on the record. You are an intelligence technician at Fang Inc. and work closely with Emilia Feng, right? Mr...

???: Please, I...I did note down that I didn’t want my name being stated on the recording.

Pam: Very well, we’ll call you X then. 

X: Ugh...I still can’t believe I’m doing this...If they were to find out...

Pam: I know...but all you have to do is take a slight peek below the surface to see what Fang Inc’s REALLY doing to people. You’re here now, so what do you have for us?

X: I have a few things...First of all, I have proof of Emilia Feng’s true nature. You know all those miniature wars the USA are always fighting? The one’s that get stamped out by Fang Inc. within a day? Emilia Feng pulls the strings, hires sketchy people and is ultimately the one who instigates those wars. She does so so she can profit off the rebuilding process.

Pam: What!?

X: There’s more...I also know that she’s partnered with a group known as Organization Zetsubou. They’re a famous terrorist organization from Japan, who have the goal of taking over Junko Enoshima’s legacy. They want to end the world, and Emilia is providing them with weapons, so that they may do so. When Zetsubou declare war on the world, she’s going to fight back against them, and pretend to be the hero to reap the benefits.

Pam: N-No way...! Zetsubou!? But that is-! H-Here!

*The sound of shuffling can be heard.

Pam: Transfer whatever data you’ve got to this secure storage drive. How solid is this info?

X: It’s a recording of her talking to Tsumugi Shirogane, the-...AH!?

*BANG!* *CRASH!*

Fang Soldier: FANG SECURITY! DROP YOUR WEAPONS!

Pam: The fuck!? What weapons!? You can’t do this!

Fang Soldier: KILL HIM!

X: NO!

*BANG!*

Pam: NO!

Fang Soldier: Gather all her equipment and get it to the nearest station! You! Tag that wall, then get rid of this traitor’s body!

Fang Soldier: What about her?

Fang Soldier: Haha! She can stay here...

There is more, but it’s mostly just hours of silence. That’s the important part.

Fuck me! Feng sent a squad of her goons for Pam and that other dude! 

I heard something about a...Some Unique Chile Con Carne?

Not “Some Unique Chile Con Carne” He said “Tsumugi Shirogane.” I mentioned it before, but she is Organization Zetsubou’s leader.

There’s a recording of Emilia Feng communicating with Zetsubou’s leader? That’s gotta be the real deal!

Fang Inc. must have Pamela’s equipment then, along with the audio file evidence. 

That’s exactly the evidence we need to put an end to Feng, and make her pay for everything that she’s done.

...In that case, I will be back soon.

What?

I’ll go get the evidence for you. I’ll be back as soon as I can with everything I can carry.

Hold on, you’re going to get it alone? Why?

Because there’s too little time. You need to return to the café and make sure Oliver finishes the virus.

...

Why are you suspicious of me? Do you think that I’m going to destroy the evidence instead?

No. I don’t think it’s likely you would destroy the evidence when you were the one who led it to us in the first place.

But we need to talk...about you.

What does talking about me achieve in terms of the mission?

Let’s just say that maybe if you lowered your hood and showed me your face, I’d be more willing to believe you were on our side.

...What do you think you’ll see if I lower the hood?

...

I’m sorry, but if it wasn’t essential for me to keep this hood up, and my face concealed, I wouldn’t do it. But I need to.

Why?

If anyone sees my face, or recognizes me, it could spell potential disaster. Especially among the Future Foundation.

...I cannot abide that. 

Please, I’m serious. I’m nothing more than Yuki Maeda’s apprentice.

If Yuki Maeda is the one you serve, then why did you follow us to the states? 

...

I have a theory...And that’s that the reason you came out this far, is because you’re trying to protect something...

Huh? Protect what?

The man who saved her life...and gave her a new purpose...Makoto Naegi is the one thing that you always lived for...

...

*Whitecloak lowers her head.

You don’t know what you’re talking about...

...!

*Kyoko stamps her foot down.

ANSWER ME! IKUSABA!

...

...Huh? Iku...

...saba?

The face that’s really under that cloak. It’s the Ultimate Soldier, Mukuro Ikusaba! Am I wrong?

...

Wait, hold on a second. Mukuro Ikusaba is Makoto’s right hand woman who died in Shikoku, right? Sounds to me like she’s pretty...dead...

Not necessarily...Kuripa and Makoto abandoned Mukuro’s body at the mansion where she supposedly died. 

Her body was never recovered, so there’s a non-zero possibility that Mukuro Ikusaba is still alive. It’s even more likely the case if she’s affected by Divine Luck.

...

Then...is it really?

...I’m afraid you’re a little off track...

Am I now?

...Fine...So be it...

What?

Like I said, I hide my face to protect both myself, and those around me. But if it helps to clear up the doubts in your mind, both about me and my intentions...

Then I will show you my face...

However, you must promise me that you won’t tell a single soul what you see under this hood.

...

Do I have your word?

...Yes...You do...

...

*Whitecloak removes her hood.

Huh...?

!!??

No...impossible...!

*The face that hides underneath it...

...Well...There you have it...

[dballzposting]

Gohan and Videl's relationship is so awesome because they love each other for their fucked up selves . Like you see them get along when they're on the same page and they're goofy together and they listen to 80s music together but I mean if you ask Gohan abt her and if hes feeling talkative hed probably say smth like:

"Yeah Videl is sort of fucked up. Yeah she is supremely fucked up. I used to be afriad of her but now I know better, and it's precisely becasue shes enabled me to not be afriad, bc shes fucked up and she can do that. It's like when a vampire makes you drink their blood? Yeah it's like that. What? What do I mean by that? Oh. I dont know. But back when we first started dating she said a lot of things like, about how she wanted to - I'm gonna paraphrase heavily here - what? Yeah I'll have another, why not, it's Friday - yeah another cranberry martini - yeah so anyway. Shit. Maybe I want a cosmopolitan. Do you think it's too late? It's probably too late. It's fine. What was I saying. Oh yeah

"When we first started dating she said some fucked up shit like, about how she wanted to stick her hands in my guts and see my darkest- my 'darkest most twisted corners,' that's what shed be on about. And I thought it was becasue of her love of justice, I thought she wanted to illuminate my 'dark corners' and bring to light something-? But no! It was for no one's eyes but her own! And she didnt want to illuminate shit! She just wanted to be blunt and smoke me like a cigar. Yes she used to say that!!!! About the cigar!!!! And in the daylight we drive around and listen to fun 80s tracks and she lets me drive her expensive car so I feel big, but if I ever catch her driving around by herself, it's always Pet Shop Boys. Just Pet Shop Boys. And it feels fucked up becasue it's not Depeche Mode, it's just Pet Shop Boys. And it's some shit I dont recognize! Some unpopular track from some unpopular album! And she has the CD in the fucking radio! She just listens to that by herself.

"Anyway. I love her so much it's insane. I understand when people say it's like chemistry. It is not up to me at all. It's like she fed me her blood like vampires do and now I have to be here. Theres just no one else for me and no one else for her either. And shes sort of twisted and she freaks me out sometimes. And I need the comfort but i also appreciate that love is scary sometimes. I guess that life is just fucking scary sometimes."

And then if you ask Videl about Gohan shed be like "ooh. Yeah. Yeah hes kind of fucked up. Yeah. Oh absolutely. Yeah. (Pulls out a cigar and lights it without asking you if it's okay if she smokes in your kitchen.) Yeah well not to spill his private guts or anything but hes got a bit of a history and hes fucked up. I could drink him for days but you dont need to know about all that.... Hes a goofy bastard for sure, though. You ever heard of Chuzzles? It's a computer game. Yeah, it's all he plays. I'm not too big on it, really the only game I like is Pacman and I've been clean for a good year now, so dont get me talking about Pacman. Boy is that boy something! I dont know what I'd do without him. I'm kind of obsessed. And hes so fun, too. He genuinely just loves to drive around and look at the trees and sing 80s songs. So peaceful and appreciative. I used to think that it was shallow, or naive, or frankly immature - and then I began to suspect that it was more the earned outlook an old man would have, choosing to love life after seeing some shit. And now I know it's sort of in the middle, with his own hard-headed spin on it. (Taps her cigar into her mug becasue she knows that you dont have an ashtray and shes not even gonna ask).

"Anyway, I love hanging out with him, becasue I love being goofy! I never get to, and I forgot that I could be. It's so goddamn fun. I can be all airheaded and goofy and hangin off his arm and shit if I want to. And he just gets so bashful about the attention. It's so funny! And then we go home and I smoke him like a cigar. And then we go out and fight crime the next day! Goddamn! How did a sonofabitch like me end up with with a flower like him? Hes so fucked up though. If he leaves me I'm killing both of us. And then I'll meet him in heaven- I've been there, I know it's real. Hes not leaving me though becasue he cant. But anyway. It's chill most of the time. I just think it's interesting how no matter how long we know each other, we can still entice each other so, you know? Never a dull moment, and if it is dull, it's pleasant. Such a nice guy. I'm the only one for him, I think. And I'm so glad for it. Such a nice guy."

[thessalian]

Thess vs IT ‘Upgrades’

I am The Office Nerd. In all the ways. Like, all of them. But for the moment, we focus on the fact that I am the only one in my office who knows shit from dick about computers. And I don’t even know that much - enough to build my own rig if the mood takes me, and some basics about components and what’s good and what’s not, but that’s about it. Seriously, though? WAY more than anyone else in my office knows.

This comes up now because ... well, see, we have two computers - one we don’t really use, and one we do. The one we do use is connected to the hospital’s system, so all hardware and software upgrades are at the mercy of NHS procurement policies and shit. Now, given the current economic climate, and the fact that the NHS is getting it severely in the neck no matter how you look at it, you wouldn’t expect them to be upgrading at all. Except they’ve been putting off upgrading for a very long time now. How long? Well, put it this way - we were running Windows 7. So it’s been at least a decade since we had a software upgrade, and we wouldn’t even be having one now if Microsoft hadn’t declared it would no longer support Windows 7. So we needed to upgrade to Windows 10, and because our machines barely ran Windows 7, we had to have a full hardware upgrade, too. Except we also had to not spend much money.

So here’s what they did. You know those little dinky budget boxes with the integrated graphics card that are incredibly hard to actually replace anything on if you have to? Well, yeah, they bought those. The CPU’s okay for running Windows 10, but it’s not going to survive another software upgrade particularly well. The peripherals are frankly garbage - there’s something wrong with the headphone jack on these models because we’re all struggling to hear the dictation we’re supposed to be typing. So frankly it’s not great. I hate those dinky pieces of garbage, but at least they’ve got RAM worth a shit for now.

What else did they do? Basically jack squat. Licenses for the Microsoft Office suite? Nope - it’s either use Wordpad and potentially lose formatting or end up with a crippled version of Word or whatever that lacks most of the functionality. Updated Outlook? Nope - we’re supposed to use the online version instead. We’re stuck on Chrome or Microsoft Edge because no one’s allowing us to download Firefox. Theoretically I can do my job without this stuff, but it’s way, way more awkward. So I’m a little frustrated and I may have gone off on something of a rant.

Best part? I was told at the end of last week that they’d be doing these so-called ‘upgrades’ soon. Except we didn’t have an exact date, so when I came into work this morning, there was that stupid piece-of-shit mini-box under my monitor, and I had no instructions on how to use the new login system. When I finally located the new dropdown menu and figured out which system I was supposed to have it set to when I entered user ID and password, it turned out that they hadn’t given me remote access to the company’s server, which I needed to do my damn job. The people who’d been doing the upgrades were still in the area but we couldn’t find them so I tried calling IT to see if they could pass on a message to the people working my floor. I got told, “Submit a ticket and they’ll get it”.

I spent an hour doing more or less nothing but getting frustrated with how this whole thing had been handled. Honestly, I wasn’t the only one. Everyone else had that issue either yesterday or earlier this morning and I guess that explains why there were over two hundred bits of typing in the group queue when I could finally access our transcription system - well, that and we’re approaching a four-day weekend because of the fucking platinum jubilee. So basically everything’s a mess.

I’m really hoping that it was just that Scruffman didn’t know the exact date of this upgrade because Head Honcho didn’t tell him, and not Scruffman just not bothering to drop us a fucking email. But honestly, either way? It’s nonsense. I did actually use Word to copy-paste often-repeated bits of dictation and now I have to open it in Wordpad and be grateful that none of it really uses formatting because the crippled, non-licensed version of Word won’t let you copy-paste. They just aren’t even bothering with Outlook, so we have to handle it via a poorly optimised browser.

This is not what I call an upgrade.

So, yeah, basically work was kinda shit. But at least I only have one more day before the long weekend. I’m not that much on the monarchy but I’ll gladly take the two days off. If I’m feeling up to it, I might even go and do things if stuff’s open. That’s if I can be sure of avoiding jubilee galas, or possibly protests. Either way, now that I’ve vented, I can go curl up and rest up to better tackle the unseemly backlog the IT ‘upgrade’ has left us with.

(I don’t blame IT or even the NHS that much, incidentally; I blame the Tory government that has underfunded the NHS so badly that we’re having to ration some software licensing and skip other bits of it altogether no matter how much of a hit productivity takes as a result. This just tortures admins by making their jobs harder, this license stinginess. UGH.)

[secret-kpoplibrary]

In Your Dreams Pt. 4

Pairing: Baker!Seokjin x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: no warnings here we chillin

Genre: idk again- fluff probably

Summary: You wouldn't necessarily call yourself cynical or pessimistic, but when it comes to the topic of soulmates, well you're certainly not the most agreeable person. It's not that you don't believe in love but, when your career exposes you to what happens when 'love' isn't enough, when being soulmates doesn't bring your happy ending- it can be hard to put your faith in such things. Still, just like everyone else you have the dreams, the ones of your soulmate's memories. The ones you'll continue to have until you find them. Unfortunately for yours, meeting him does little to change your outlook- at first. He's certainly got his work cut out for him.

***

You're sitting in your living room looking through emails that need answers by Monday when Lisa comes strolling into your apartment.

"Hello!" She yells as she plops down beside you.

"Hello Lisa, I wasn't aware you were coming over today." You tell her, not looking up from your laptop.

"I wasn't planning on it actually- but I was in the area and said to myself, 'self- we should go visit y/n, we haven't done that in a while' and went 'you know what self you are so right' and so- here I am." She says flinging her arms out like she's presenting herself. You chuckle a little.

"Alright well make yourself comfortable then." You hum.

"No no no we are going out!" She says.

"Out where and for what-?" You scoff.

"You know where we haven't been in a while?" She asks.

"I can think of several places including the library and that vegan place we went to last month." You say.

"We should go back there- they had really good food." She muses, "but no neither of those answers are correct." She shakes her head.

"Alright, so what is the correct answer?" You look at her.

"Sweeter Than Sweet!" She says. Your face twists into a look that you know says 'what the fuck'

"You go there almost every single day." You scoff.

"I know but you haven't gone with me in like two weeks." She says.

"And the problem with that is-?" You trail.

"I think it should be our regular spot." She nods her head.

"Why? So you can flirt with Jimin?"

"No! I just like their treats." She says blushing and looking away.

"If you say so hon." You scoff.

"Whatever- can we go to Sweeter Than Sweet or not?" She huffs.

"You're asking that like you're actually giving me a choice. If I have to go- we're also going to the vegan place after. I'm dying for a chicken cheesesteak." You tell her.

"Deal!" She agrees easily hopping off your couch. You save and close out what you're working on and shut down your computer.

"Just let me grab a jacket." You tell her walking down the hall to your coat closet. It's nearly the end of October now and while it's not particularly cold yet, sometimes it can be chilly, so you grab a leather jacket and follow Lisa out of your apartment.

"We're taking my car." She announces unlocking the vehicle and getting inside of her car. You slide into the passenger side.

"So how's your design going Lis?" You ask her.

"I finally finished it- I've just gotta decide on a pattern so I can get started on a mock-up." She says excitedly.

"That's great. Do you have fabrics in mind?" You ask her.

"Hm not yet- I was actually going to the fabric store when I came over."

"Are we still gonna stop there then?"

"Nah, fabric decisions can wait." She waves it off. The two of you reach the bakery shortly after and she quickly parks her car and gets out. You wonder how she can come here so often and still get excited about it every time. If you had to guess, you'd assume it's that she's crushing on Jimin- but who can say for sure really. The two of you enter the bakery and you barely notice Jimin darting towards the back. Barely, but you choose to ignore it as it may be unrelated. Or at least you thought so until Jin comes strolling out and takes Jimin's place. Suddenly his running to the back seems a lot more calculated. When you reach the counter Jin is quick to greet you both.

"Hello and welcome to Sweeter Than Sweet, what can I get for you ladies today?" He smiles brightly.

"Jin? Oh my gosh- I've never seen you taking orders before!" Lisa smiles.

"Yes well, Jimin's on his lunch break right now so- I'm filling in for a bit." Jin explains.

"Well when he comes back from his break tell him to come say hi." She tells Jin.

"Of course! In the meantime though, what can I get for you?"

"I will take the raspberry orange scone please oh and a cup of tea." She says.

"And for you?" Jin turns his attention.

"Blueberry scone and a cup of coffee please." You say politely. This time Lisa is faster than you with her card and hands it to Jin before he's even said the price.

"I'll bring your order over to you momentarily." He says handing her back her card.

"Thank Jin." She says.

"Since when did you and him become friends?" You ask Lisa as the two of you pick a table and sit down.

"I wouldn't say we're friends. We've only spoken a few times, since he's usually in the back, but he's quite friendly. Which you know nothing about." She jokes.

"Right of course." You say. It takes a very short while for Jin to waltz over with your scones and requested drinks.

"Thank you Jin." Lisa says.

"You're welcome. If you need anything just holler." Jin says before slipping away.

"You know, if you tried talking to him- I think you and Jin would get along well." Lisa muses. Oh if only she knew.

"Okay." You respond biting into your scone.

"Y/n-"

"Why does it matter if I get along with him exactly? I'm not going to be rude to him obviously but it's not like I need new friends or anything."

"I know I just feel like you'd get along." She shrugs.

"Hm." You hum taking a sip of your coffee.

"Do you disagree?"

"Girl I don't know him. Not saying I don't trust your judgment I'm just not looking to expand my circle." You roll your eyes.

"You're so weird." She shakes her head.

"Thank you." You wink at her. She chuckles at you and bites into her own scone presumably giving up on her advocation for your friendship with Jin.

Lisa is telling you a story about something that happened to her at work the other day maybe ten minutes after your conversation about Jin ended when the sound of someone clearing their throat halts your conversation. You both turn to find Jin standing awkwardly at your table.

"Oh hi again Jin. Everything okay?" Lisa asks while you busy yourself pretending to be occupied on your phone.

"Yeah! Everything's totally fine. I just, have a question." He smiles at her.

"Ask away." Lisa says.

"Actually- it's a question for y/n." He says softly. You barely manage to hold back a sigh as you're forced to look at him when he says that.

"What can I do for you Jin?" You ask placing your phone face down on the table and looking directly up at him. You knew you wouldn't be able to avoid it forever, might as well face the music especially since it's blasting in your ear.

"Well, I was wondering if you'd be interested in going on a date with me." He says sheepishly. Lisa squeals at this. She's practically bouncing in her seat as she waits for you to answer.

"No thanks." You say flatly, sipping your coffee.

"Wait what?" He blinks at you in surprise as you pick up your phone again.

"Y/n!" Lisa scoffs.

"What? I answered the question." You look at her.

"I- I don't understand. Y-you're turning me down?" Jin is caught extremely off guard by your response. He couldn't believe you would turn down a date with your soulmate.

"Not used to rejection I see. Must be hard." You mutter without looking up from your phone.

"I can handle rejection just fine. I'm just confused." He huffs.

"Why? My answer was very clear. No. Thanks." You say.

"Wait, do you not know?" He asks trying to look at your face.

"Do I not know what?" You ask.

"We're soulmates. You have to have realized that by now."

"Oh that. Yes, I know." You shrug.

"Wait stop you guys are soulmates!? And y/n you knew and didn't say anything?! Since when?" Lisa scoffs.

"The first time we came here." You say with a sigh knowing she'll only continue pressing.

"What?!" She practically yells.

"Calm down." You roll your eyes.

"No no no you've known for that long!?"

"Yes. We came here, I went back to your place with you and that night I had a dream about the opening of the bakery. Jimin was talking to him. Congratulating him about opening this place." You explain.

"And you didn't wanna share that information?" She crosses her arms.

"I know how you are about the whole soulmate thing. Not to mention it's not technically your business."

"Wait so Jin, a few weeks ago when you came over to introduce yourself to us, it was because you knew too. Wasn't it?" Lisa asks him.

"Yes. Because I'd seen you in a dream. I mean- I've seen you in several dreams, but I had one of you here. So when I saw you I asked Jimin if he remembered you coming here with anyone else-"

"And of course since you hadn't been here with anyone but me he said no. Which led the two of them to conclude that I was his soulmate. And then Jimin told him to come over and talk to us." You finish Jin's story.

"How do you-"

"After we left that day I had a dream of your conversation with him." You answer his incomplete question.

"I cannot believe you kept this from me." Lisa frowns at you.

"Lisa we've had a million conversations about soulmates- it really shouldn't surprise you."

"Hi, yeah, sorry to interrupt but now I'm even more confused. If you've known we're soulmates for that long why didn't you say anything back then? And why did you turn me down just now?" Jin frowns.

"I have no interest in soulmates really. Sorry to disappoint you. A series of random memories that don't belong to me is not enough to convince me that we are at all compatible." You tell him.

"Are you scared to find out that we are?" He asks.

"You can't possibly know if we're compatible. You don't even know my last name." You tell him matter of factly.

"Well that's what the date was for. To get to know you." He says.

"Just go it's only one date." Lisa pouts.

"Lisa." You say in warning.

"She's right, it's only one date. What's the harm in that?" He asks.

"The harm would be my wasted time." You tell him.

"It's only wasted if you don't gain anything. In one scenario, we go on the date, we learn we're not compatible, and then we both know for sure and can go our separate ways. In the other, we have an amazing time and consider the possibility of a relationship. Sounds to me like either way you come out of this with something. At the very least a free dinner." He shrugs at the end of his explanation. You look at him for a long moment and while this decision doesn't affect her you can tell Lisa is holding her breath as they both wait for your response.

"Fine. One date." You secede.

"Perfect." He says. Lisa scrambles for a sheet of paper from her bag and scribbles something on it, handing it to Jin quickly.

"Her number. So you can call and set it up." She explains to him.

"Seriously Lisa?" You roll your eyes.

"If he gives you his number there's a high chance you just won't use it." She says.

"I already agreed to it. I'm not one to go back on my word." You say.

"Better safe than sorry." She shrugs.

"Thanks Lisa. I'll be in touch y/n." He smiles and leaves your table.

"I cannot believe this is happening." You sigh.

"I cannot believe you kept this a secret from me! Is that why you didn't want to be friends with him!?" She asks.

"Not really. I don't need new friends Lisa. As for not telling you- initially I didn't want you to meddle, and then you became associated with him directly and I couldn't tell you because I know you wouldn't be able to help yourself." You tell her.

"Yes I would have!" She protests.

"Lisa- you and I both know that is not true." You say staring at her blankly.

"I can control myself, if you told me to stay out of it I would have." She insists.

"You have literally never stayed out of anything I have ever asked you to stay out of in the decade we've been friends." You tell her.

"I only meddle when I think it'll help."

"And you expect me to believe that you wouldn't see meddling here as helping given how much you think I need a relationship?"

"I- no comment." She says.

"That's what I thought." You say. She rolls her eyes but simply takes another bite of her scone instead of responding. The two of you eat quietly for a couple minutes. It's not an awkward one, you're best friends after all, but it doesn't last long as you're interrupted once again, but this time it's Jimin who walks up to your table.

"Hello ladies!" He says brightly.

"Jimin!" Lisa says.

"Hey Jimin." You nod at him.

"Someone told me I was to report here after my break. Everything alright?" He asks.

"Everything's fine. I just wanted to say hi." Lisa shrugs.

"Well then hi to you." He smiles at her.

"You'll never guess what just happened!" Lisa says.

"I think he knows." You tell her, positive Jin already informed his employee and friend about your upcoming date.

"What happened?" He asks, humoring her.

"Jin just asked y/n on a date and she said yes!" Lisa announces.

"Technically I was persuaded into it." You correct her.

"Semantics. Isn't it so cool that they're soulmates?" She asks him.

"Totally. Jin's a great guy so you know she'll be treated right." Jimin says.

"Hey Jimin, question for you." You say.

"What's up?" He turns to you.

"You wouldn't by chance have anything to do with what just happened before you came out?" You quirk an eyebrow at him.

"What makes you say that?" He asks- you note that he completely dodged the question.

"Well it's just that your break conviently ended right after he got a yes from me and besideds- you usually don't take breaks this early into your shift." You tell him.

"Okay so I may have helped- but all I did was take a little break when you walked in. And maybe I advised him to come back over here and ask you out. But maybe I didn't." He shrugs.

"You sneaky little-"

"He was never gonna do it on his own! You make him so nervous I swear he looks like he might spontaneously combust if you so much as breathe a certain way! Which is weird because he's usually super confident." Jimin says cutting off whatever insult he knew was coming.

"You and Lisa are cut from the same cloth I tell you." You scoff.

"W-what? No we're not! We're completely separate individuals." Jimin says looking literally anywhere but at your table.

"Well- duh you just act the same. She definitely would've done something equally as meddlesome if she knew about Jin before now." You say.

"I still can't believe you didn't tell me." Lisa shakes her head.

"Because you cannot help yourself but meddle. Seems like you've got yourself a partner in crime now though. Two peas in a pod if I ever saw." You say.

"Partner in crime? Nah I don't think so." Jimin waves his hand.

"Jimin can I- bother you over there for a second?" You ask standing up.

"Why?" His eyes widen.

"I just have a quick question." You shrug as if it's nothing.

"Well why can't I know." Lisa pouts. You wave her off.

"Jimin?" You look at him.

"Uh- sure." He nods. You grab his arm and lead him back over by the register.

"Okay spill, why are you acting so- weird all of a sudden?" You ask leaning against the counter.

"Well- uh- the truth is, I'm pretty sure Lisa's my soulmate." He says.

"Wait seriously?!" You blink at him. What are the odds of that- your best friend's soulmate being friends with your soulmate. How bizarre.

"Well I don't know for sure, she doesn't seem to know and I'm not sure how to tell her. What if she responds like- weirdly. Especially since she recently got out of a serious relationship-"

"Well you'll have to tell her sooner or later. I recommend sooner. She already thinks you're cute. As long as you can prove you're soulmates to her- I think you'll be golden." You shrug.

"You think so?" He asks.

"Totally! I'm surprised she hasn't figured it out yet- I'm sure at least one of her dreams has taken place here. Piecing it together shouldn't be that hard." You muse.

"Well she did ask me one day who all works here- maybe that was her trying to narrow it down-?" He frowns.

"Probably. Just tell her, I mean you already get along great so- the odds are in your favor." You shrug.

"You're right. I should tell her. But not today. Promise you won't say anything until I decide to tell her?" He asks you.

"I promise. But only if you promise to do it soon okay?"

"I  promise." He nods.

"Good- now if you'll excuse me, I have a scone to finish." You say turning around. You can hear him laugh as you walk back to your table.

"So what was that about?" Lisa asks as soon as you sit down.

"Nothing important." You shrug.

"It must be if you felt you had to walk away from me to do it." She says.

"I just- had a question- about Jin and I didn't want you to be all weird about it." You shrug. Yeah, that's a believable lie.

"Oh?! Taking interest I see." She wiggles her shoulders.

"See this is why I walked away you weirdo." You roll your eyes. She laughs loudly as you sip your coffee. The two of you are there long enough to finish your pastries and coffee before you head off to your next stop on your impromptu hangout day. You glance back to catch Jimin watching as you and more importantly Lisa leaves, you shoot him a thumbs up on your way out the door and he smiles back.

You put away thoughts of the bakery and the two men there who're implanting themselves into your lives but man, if only Lisa knew what was in store for her. ***

Part 4/???

[bold-writing]

The One With Whiskey Eyes || 9 || Precious Porcelain, Cracked and Broken

Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Threats.

Words: 3600+

Previous || Next

~9~

Iris and Barry emailed back and forth a few more times over Sunday, usually short and sweet since he was at work and Iris didn’t want to distract him from his job. Luke had surprised her with an email later in the day, saying that he’d bugged Barry into giving him her email address with a wink emoji at the end of the sentence. She’d just shaken her head with a smile as she pulled out some food for a simple dinner.

 She had started her Monday with a positive outlook, having gotten much better sleeps the past couple of nights and therefore back on her game when she stepped into work. Emailing Barry and Luke had been one of the first things that she had done in the morning, somehow feeling right at home with the new addition to her routine.

 The first couple of hours had gone smoothly, and Iris had been relieved to be back in her element with something to do with her time. Her coworkers were especially happy to have her back, thinking that she was going to go back to her usual routine of taking any and all hours that she could get her hands on; instead, she’d called the owner that morning and had discussed getting her schedule changed to allow for more free time on weekends and maybe evenings.

They had happily agreed, since she hadn’t taken voluntary time off since she had started there.

Her day was going smooth and by the book, Iris able to get lost in her thoughts as she priced and scanned the new books they had gotten in while manning the counter. Her coworkers were among the shelves, stocking up the empty spaces and cleaning up the messes that customers left behind.

 Unfortunately, that good day didn’t last long.

 “Miss, I can’t take this book,” Iris denied as she pushed the worn novel back across the counter. “Not only do you not have your receipt, we do not even sell that here.” They hadn’t gone through the painstaking process of transferring all of their files to computer for nothing, Iris was able to search for any book title and know whether they sold it or not.

 “I lost the receipt, sorry! But I bought this book here, just last week!”

 “Well it’s in terrible condition for having been bought a week ago,” Iris answered, motioning to the heavily cracked spine, bent front page and stains along the bottom corner. “We have strict rules here; you must return the book, with your receipt, within fourteen days of purchase.” Iris motioned to the taped up sign that was located just over Iris’s right shoulder, stating the rules that Iris had just said.

 “I would like to talk to your manager,” the woman finally demanded with a deep scowl. She was several inches taller than Iris on flat ground, and she was now wearing four inch heels that made her absolutely tower over the younger woman.

 “Hi,” Iris smiled back, remaining firmly rooted in place as she gave a small wave—almost, but not quiet, mockingly.

 The woman’s face morphed into a livid frown before she snatched the book from the counter and turned on heel so fast that Iris was surprised she hadn’t spun right off her heels. She watched the woman leave, allowing Iris the satisfaction of once more having been able to pull the ‘I am the manager’ card. Iris glanced over to the coworker that was stocking just a few feet away from her, hiding a grin as she tucked more books on the shelf.

 “You enjoy that too much,” she called over to Iris, amusement colour her features.

 “The look on their face is the only thing that makes being the manager worth it,” Iris answered as she resumed her work of unboxing, pricing and scanning the books to put everything in the system. “Makes you glad we put everything on a computer system a couple years ago?” she offered, getting a laugh from the younger woman as she nodded eagerly.

 “I don’t know how you stay so calm when you have people like that,” Jessica, the younger girl who had been there for nearly five years, added on as she finished with the box that Iris had given to her and moved over to collect the other one that Iris had priced for her.

 “It helps that I go into a situation like that knowing they’ll ask for…well, me.” Jessica snorted at Iris’s explanation before the two women returned to their work. Iris pulled her long braid over her shoulder in nervous habit, her eyes double checking the computer screen to make sure that the correct number of copies had been entered before she opened a new page for the next box.

 She was wearing a pair of thin black compression gloves, keeping her hands warm and protecting them from being cut up or dried out by the boxes and books, while also hiding her mark from prying eyes. Those that she worked with had gotten so accustomed to her wearing the gloves; they didn’t usually bring them up anymore. However, now and then they would make bets about whether or not it was a soulmark, and what it might say that would make her hide it.

 The next box that Iris opened was a hardcover sketchbook, one of their best-selling sketchbooks; which made her smile as Barry popped into her mind.

 She had barely tagged one book when the bell over the door signalled that someone else had entered the store. Having heard the same thing every day since she worked there, Iris didn’t even look up from the counter this time. “Welcome to Pages of the World; if you need any help just let me know!” she called from her place behind the counter while sticking another price-tag on the sketchbook.

 “Yea, you can fucking help me, brat!”

 Iris flinched while looking up from her work, the booming yell of a man charging up to the counter making her want to tuck tail and run. Women she could deal with, they always came off as less terrifying to her than men did after all these years. Even Jessica flinched behind the display she was setting up, looking between Iris and the irate man wearily.

 “Excuse me?” Iris stuttered out in surprise, unable to supress the fear that had her leaning back. There was still a counter between the two of them, but Iris couldn’t find the assurance in it.

 “You turned my wife away just because of a receipt? What the hell kinda customer service skills do you have to honestly be a manager?” Oh course it had to be the husband. Somehow, Iris figured that the couple had planned this. They would try to get a free fifteen dollars for a used book that was not from this store; if the wife’s sob story about losing the receipt didn’t work, the husband would come in and try to scare her into doing the non-existent return.

 “Ones that do not concede to liars,” Iris snapped back with more bravado than she actually felt. “The rules are clear, and I do not appreciate your immaturity with the situation; I am a grown woman, there is no need to call me a brat, sir.”

 “Clearly there is! You’re supposed to please your customers, you think I’ll ever come back here?”

 “The best thing about being the manager here is that the owner has assured me that I can refuse service to anyone that I want. I assure you, sir, I do not want you or your wife to ever come back.” Iris’s tone stayed level and calm the entire time she was speaking, not once raising to the point that it could be considered yelling.

 Beneath the counter, Iris subtly slipped off the metal bracelet that she wore around her wrist with the keys she needed for the different locks within the store. When unclipped, it was four inches of metal that held four full sized keys on the end of it. She was not opposed to swinging it at the man’s face if he tried anything.

 His face was red by the time she finished speaking, his jaw locked tight as he fixed a glare on Iris that she was sure was supposed to scare her into relenting. “Now, I will have to ask that you leave this store before I am forced to call the authorities and have you escorted out.”

 Standing behind the display, Jessica was watching the entire thing with wide eyes and a jaw close to dropping. Her manager, tiny little five foot Iris that was about one hundred pounds soaking wet, was holding her ground against a six foot tall man that looked like he could throw her with one hand. Her voice had wavered in the beginning, but then she had successfully collected herself and was able to keep her composure.

 “You go ahead and call them, but I am getting my refund!” the man roared, reaching toward the buttons on the register to Iris’s right—which was rather stupid, since none of them would open the register unless Iris actually unlocked it first.

 Similar to what she had done with Luke in the grocery store, Iris reached out and swung her chain of keys down onto the back of his hand, the man hadn’t even been able to hit a single button before he was recoiling in shock at the sharp pain that accompanied her attack. “This will be your final warning,” she almost growled out, her free hand poised over the phone.

 Majority of the employees here were woman, so the police were on speed-dial just in case ‘911’ would take too long.

 “You fucking cun-”

 He never got the chance to finish what he was saying before he was suddenly slammed down onto the counter, drawing a startled yelp from both Iris and Jessica as the women leapt backward from the sudden action. A pale hand was holding the wanna-be robber by the back of his neck, pressing his face into the polished counter with considerable force, the other hand keeping the man’s arm tight behind his back in a very uncomfortable looking angle.

 “That is not how you speak to a lady, and it’s especially not how you speak to mine.”

 Iris damn near choked on air when she heard the familiar voice, this time with a more average American accent, and looked up the pale arms that had the sleeves rolled up to the elbow, a sweatshirt left unzipped to expose an average undershirt and a necklace of some kind dipping down beneath the fabric. She stopped breathing entirely when her familiar handwriting was brought to the forefront of her attention. It was in her cursive, so she couldn’t read it from here, but there were many scattered along his forearms and another that shown at his left pectoral.

 “What the fuck, man, get off!” the man snarled, though he was still useless to fight against the newest soulmate for Iris to meet. Had it not been for the lack of accent, she would almost think that it could have been Luke, but that would have been pushing it.

 “You don’t talk to people like that, ya hear me?” he demanded while pushing the man’s face down against the counter with more force, getting an uncomfortable groan in response. “Huh?” he pressed again when no verbal response came.

 “Alright!”

 Nodding in satisfaction, her nameless soulmate hauled the man up from the desk and turned to face him with a hard glare. “You ever come back here and you’ll be dealing with me.” Iris had to strain to hear, but the threat was as clear as day. Then he shoved the man to the side, in the direction of the door he’d come through minutes before, and watched to make sure he left without touching any of the meticulously arranged displays.

 Only when he’d ran passed the store windows and disappeared from view did his bark blue eyes turn toward Iris, who had remained silently shocked from the moment he’d first slammed her would-be robber down on the desk. “You alright, doll? He didn’t hurt ya?”

 Iris opened her mouth to respond, but no sound came out. She couldn’t even think of forming words as the world suddenly went blurry around her and she could feel the heat in her cheeks as her blood fled from her already pale complexion.

 Without a word, she suddenly turned and sat on the nearby desk chair that she used while doing paperwork, the sound of rushing footsteps alerting her to someone behind the desk before Jessica’s terrified face came into view. “Iris!” she called, apparently not for the first time, and reached for the older woman’s face to feel her strikingly cold cheeks.

 Another hand against her shoulder, much larger and holding more weight behind it, drew Iris to look to her right with limp neck muscles barely keeping her head up. Barry? No, not Barry. Not Luke.

 Who?

 “It’s alright, doll, you just take your time,” he assured gently, his tone having changed drastically from when he’d first starting speaking to the other man. Even when he’d addressed Iris, he’d sounded more confident and sure, almost proud of Iris’s defense. Swallowing around a suddenly dry mouth, Iris tipped her head back in an attempt to let some cool air get to her face. She knew that to another it would feel cold with lack of blood, but she felt like she was blushing red as a tomato with how hot her cheeks were.

 Suddenly, cool air was blowing against her face gently as Iris took a moment to think through her breaths and bask in the refreshing feeling.

 “Iris? You need me to call someone?” a new voice called timidly. It was Sarah, a twenty-one year old woman who had worked for them since she was eighteen. She’d latched onto Iris immediately, since both women were naturally quiet and usually shied away from loud, extraverted situations.

 “No,” Iris breathed out softly, beginning to feel better from sitting down a moment. “Thank you, Sarah. I’ll be okay. Do you mind taking over here for a moment, though?” Opening her eyes and looking over to her young coworker, Iris was relieved to see her nodding eagerly and stepping around the counter to take Iris’s spot. “I just need some air. Come get me if you need the keys, alright?” Jessica stopped fanning her with the booklet she’d picked up, stepping back to give Iris room.

 “Take your time, okay? We’re perfectly fine on our own for a few minutes.”

 Reluctantly agreeing, Iris turned away from the other two and reached out for her new soulmate’s hand to draw him after her, toward the front entrance. The large windows had benches in front of them for the people walking by to sit, so she immediately went for one of those.

 Her soulmate followed her willingly, sitting down next to her as Iris settled down on the sun-warmed bench. “You alright, darling?” he asked quietly, keeping his tone gentle as he looked at Iris’s pale, pinched expression.

 “I’m sorry you had to see that,” she mumbled tiredly, belatedly thinking that she probably should have thought of something better to say to him for first words.

 “I’d rather I know what you’re going through than to be somewhere else and left to worry,” he answered easily, reaching out to pull her closer across the small bench. It left her pressed in against his side tightly, the warmth of his body helping her to relax somewhat. “That stuff happen often?”

 “No,” she assured immediately, shaking her head before she let it tip to the side and rest her temple against his shoulder. “People don’t usually get so…worked up. When I mention the cops they usually take off running.”

 “That guy was an asshole,” he grumbled angrily with a dark expression blanketing his features. It was not an expression she was accustomed to seeing; both Luke and Barry were more upbeat, they didn’t outwardly glare or glower. “You sure you’re alright?”

 Her mouth and throat still felt abnormally dry and her heart was racing a bit faster than usual, but she could tell that there was blood returning to her face and her hands weren’t trembling like before. “I’ll be okay. I haven’t had that happen in a long time; just got overwhelmed for a minute.” He nodded in something akin to understanding, reaching up to sooth her hair gently with a gentle, assuring touch. “So, it’d be nice to have a name for my savior?”

 He laughed under his breath at her timid tease, nodding in agreement. “That’s true. I’m BT, doll, and I’m damn glad I ignored Barry and came to see you today.”

 Iris’s answering smile was shy and she couldn’t help but to silently agree with his words. “I’m glad, too. It scares me to think what might have happened if you hadn’t intervened.” Lowering her eyes, unable to keep looking into the deep blue—they were darker than Luke’s and Barry’s, she hadn’t thought that was possible. Instead, she looked down to where his forearms were left bare from his rolled up sleeves. Her familiar scrawl was looking back at her, especially one mark that was apparently long enough that it wrapped around his wrist three times.

 A shorter one on the outside of his forearm was familiar to her; Wow, hello. Her words to Luke made her snort in amusement, reaching forward to trace the black cursive that stood out against BT’s pale skin. “It’s so strange to see my writing on someone else,” she mumbled to herself, aware that he could hear her.

 BT leaned away from her suddenly, then proceeded to pull up the side of his sweater and shirt that he was wearing to expose the left side of his torso. I’m sorry you had to see that was written across his side, starting at the base of his ribs and trailing down along to the hem of his pants.

 Her lips parted in surprise as she looked at the dark words, repressing the urge to reach out and touch them. Barry and Luke hadn’t outwardly tried to hide their skin or marks from her, but they had worn warmer clothes when she’d met them and therefore had masked any of their marks. BT was the first to wear something that exposed his marks willingly, feeling as though he had nothing to hide.

 And to go even further, he had gone ahead and pulled up his shirt to show her the words that she had just spoken to him. She was left trying to not look at the cut of his hip that proved something she’d already assumed—he was incredibly fit.

 “I…can’t show you where mine is,” she admitted softly, her cheeks warming with a blush as she remembered where BT’s mark was—curving along her left ribs, following the natural curve that was beneath her left breast.

 “Now ya got me curious,” BT teased gently, not wanting to push her too far when she was still clearly shaken from what had happened. His smile softened as he straightened his shirt and shuffled her closer to him again, returning her to her place pressed against his side. “I don’t wanna leave ya here alone; feels wrong after that.”

 He motioned with his thumb in the direction that the guy had run off, probably hopping into a car that his wife was still waiting in. “I’m not alone,” Iris argued tiredly. “There’s three other people working today, and it’s just a simple bookstore. Things like that never really happen. I do get the odd person who tries to trick us by bringing in some used book for a return, but that guy was…determined.”

 “Is it all girls in there? Because no offense to you all defending yourselves, but I doubt anyone’s gunna be intimidated by four short girls trying not to let him rob the place.”

 “We have David in as well,” she assured. “He’s closing today, because I opened the store.”

 BT seemed to relax slightly as he nodded in understanding, a thoughtful look on his face as he pondered for a moment. “When do you get off? I’ll come get ya!”

 Iris wanted to stop him, to deny him from interrupting his schedule for her, but she already knew that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “I finish at four today; come here around quarter after?”

 “You got it, doll.” BT leant forward suddenly to smack a kiss against the side of her head in assurance. “I’ve gotta get going, though. Barry’s already gunna be pissed if he finds out that I came here…well, more like when he finds out. Barry knows freaking everything.”

 Iris stood up with BT, already feeling a thousand times better after she’d had some time to get fresh air. “Thanks for your help, BT. I’m definitely glad you came here when you did.” BT grinned broadly before he reached out to snatch her up, pulling her against him abruptly in a near bone-crushing hug. She was jarred for a moment before she returned his embrace and hugged him back, revelling in the warmth that he emitted. “I’ll see you after four.”

 She backed away from him reluctantly, smiling shyly as she trailed her hand along the covered mark on his left side. BT smirked back, knowing what she was doing, as he nodded his affirmative. “Sure thing, doll. I’ll be waiting out here for you, a’right?”

 “Deal.”

Previous || Next

[linuxruntime]

hi please infodump about technology and old web stuff ty

OIGHFJFF hello!!! I'm... I don't know what to say I feel like I've got to sort of like. be given something to talk about but I guess I can start off by how I initially got interested in these things! this post will be very long and I've tried to format it the best I can BUT here it is:

so to start off things my mom always noted about me that I was naturally inclined towards computers. I kind of learned how to type from a very young age too because she had me by her old pc (it was a win 95 plus) and had word open and just told me to write things. it was fun and epic as fuck but FROM WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD. I kind of just left it open one day and it was open for daaays so the computer just... overheated to death though. this sound (skip to 0:36) is super nostalgic to me. makes me go back to when we didn't even have internet and we got internet connectivity by like... 2009 AFAIK. yahoo messenger and windows live messenger were still a thing!!! before the former shut down and the latter was (don't remember this clearly) integrated with Skype technologies around the time Microsoft bought out Skype and then it was done for after a year or so of this happening.

but fast forward to about 2012-2013. you're me and you're 10 years old, and you find a LOT of content about old pcs. mainly how they looked and sounded like, as well as people absolutely going batshit on command prompt and deleting everything (these are called destruction videos). sort of everything led to another and I found a channel that exists up to this day that was focused around viruses! and even until now I'm still very interested in them. my primary interest in computers (and extending to phones as well) is how the insides work. it's super interesting to be picking apart the 'brain' of a machine you basically feed it commands to execute... and of course the process is literally done in the blink of an eye. nothing we would ever properly notice (unless for x y z reasons your machine is slowing down)

moving on from this talk I'd like to talk about a really famous and notorious virus, the loveletter worm! also commonly called ILOVEYOU, it was written in visual basic script (vbs) and caused a lot of destruction. its primary way of appealing and spreading quick is because of its nature, like it kind of takes advantage of the user emotionally (social engineering) like. oh you got a love letter! (except it's a worm!)

how do you not know that? windows automatically hides file extensions unless a user disables the option from file explorer (I can't. remember it entirely rn I'm not even on pc but this is a thing, in older windows versions it was in folder options), so an unsuspecting user wouldn't know this is a vbs file and instead would think it's a text file, as it appeared to be when you'd download it from Microsoft Outlook.

what loveletter would do -and made it one of the most destructive viruses with over a million computers infected and probably I think billions in damage- was when executed, it would overwrite all files with a copy of itself. so like... you would lose important data (didn't overwrite .exes afaik, just images and text files etc), which at the time was a Very Bad Thing. still is if you get a nasty ransomware. it was also very simple code wise if I remember correctly, which was a reason why there were so many variants of this.

overall I feel like old school viruses have more personality to them. like there was only one recent virus that did have attributes (mostly destructive ones but there were also annoying but harmless viruses) pertaining to old school viruses BUT as of late, especially with how bitcoin has become very lucrative and mainstream like an 'untapped' gold mine (bitcoin farmers die challenge), most viruses fall under the ransomware category, where all your files (not critical ones) are encrypted and under X amount of time you'll need to pay Y amount of btc to a specific wallet, unless you wanna lose your files. one in specific was so bad (I think it was wannacry? I cannot remember for the life of me) that Microsoft, a few years prior to ending Windows XP updates as it'd reached end of service, put out an update/security patch for said operating system. that's obviously like... big news, but also shows the magnitude of the problem.

um that's all I had to say personally!!! if you do want to check out videos not only about viruses and stuff but also computers in general I would suggest Enderman (has really cool experiments like installing windows on a RAM (that later cannot be booted from because... it gets wiped after a shutdown)), Flytech Videos (I suggest the Microsoft edge protocol series, as well as the fork bomb + regedit vid where they delete each major directory at the time and see the results) and all time favorite, and the channel that jump started my interest when I was in elementary school, danooct1 :)

thanks for asking and I hope this was cohesive!!

[nomadicism]

Cane-Shaking Crotchety Rambling

I’ve been using computers since 1986, and across Commodore 64, Commodore Amiga, MS-DOS, Windows 95 – Windows 10, Mac OS 9.x – latest OS X, various Ubuntu builds, and CentOs: Windows has been consistently the worst in terms of performance. It’s absolutely the worst in terms of boot time. This has not changed in the 36 years that I have been using and customizing computers for gaming, casual use, high end spec for design, and multi-environment software development.

In my experience, the Amiga OS and Ubuntu were/are the least hassle, but there isn’t much I want to do with Ubuntu, and obviously Amiga is a niche hobby (yes, my father’s Amiga 500 still works). Mac OS X rarely gives me issues, and when it does, it’s not super annoying to solve or work around.

I understand why there is a lot of anti-Apple sentiment around here, but every time I update my PC, it’s 1-2 hour process, and can take around 4 hours if I’ve continuously put off updates for an entire year (that’s my bad). Windows 10 has been out long enough that regular updates for security patches shouldn’t take 1-2 hours, and the reason that I put off updates is because it’s such a time-wasting process to do it as frequently as Microsoft pushes them.

And, then Windows itself? Quit trying to force me to sign into whatever that Microsoft profile thing is. I already signed into the computer, I don’t care about connecting to whatever media networking thing that I’ve already disabled and have no use for. Quit loading resources and applets and other bloatware that I don’t need. Why are you trying to connect to my partner’s Xbox controller? It’s not even in the same room. Why does it take so long to load the Settings UI? You force all of these updates and somehow this Intel driver from 2016 was missed? Fuck out of here with that nonsense.

The only time Windows updates are a not a problem is when I’ve used a client-provided PC where the entire installation is customized for their employees, and everything is handled by their IT department in an orderly manner. The system will connect to the VPN and do the updates on its own, and there is usually a 40 min warning during work hours so I can complete a task and walk away. Those are still billable hours to my client, so I don’t care about the time. But those PCs still take forever to boot, or wake from sleep, or open Box drive, etc.

It’s not as if Microsoft can’t develop great products. Microsoft 365 (Office, Excel, etc) plus Outlook and Teams run beautifully on my Mac, with none of the hassle of Windows. The Edge browser is very good, there’s nothing wrong with it.

Time is precious.

Meanwhile, my four Macs—customized 2009 Mac Pro tower, customized 2010 MacBook Pro, 2019 MacBook Pro, 2021 MacBook Pro M1—never cause me this much hassle (neither did any of the Macs I’ve owned since 2001 and no longer have.) They are fast and efficient relative to what their hardware is meant to do. If I want to waste my boot time with a gajillion widgets then I can do so, but the choice is mine. I am not forced into updates. On a Mac the Settings UI snaps into life with no lag and that has been the case since I started using Macs back in 2000. Command line is a breeze. Overall, Mac = less hassle, though iOS devices (my iPhones, iPads, iPod, etc) are another matter (and rant for another day).

The only exception to Mac computer hassle has being trying to install the OS X Catalina hack onto the 2009 Mac Pro that I customized for my partner. Catalina was not designed to support the older hardware, and I don’t have the patience to complete the installation hack, as I have too many adult life things eating up my time. I’ll get back to it eventually, but my time is precious. It runs fine with El Capitan, so not a big deal.

That computer is 13 years old and in terms of performance, most people don’t need anything more powerful, except that shoddy software and website development relies on “best specs” to churn through inefficient code. That’s a dirty secret in tech that nobody wants to admit. Shit code is a contributor towards tech obsolescence.

I just love how Apple is gonna release their M2 this year and there still isn’t a stable Java SDK that supports the M1 chip without Rosetta emulation. That’s a big deal for development environments, so I gotta wonder just who the fuck they are building these machines for. A lot of developers who has previously been PC users embraced Mac in the 2010s as the Intel-based chips and Unix-like environment made for a smooth dev experience without the hassle of Windows. Linux-based devs are their own niche.

It’s frustrating that Apple embraced planned obsolescence, but I understand why they don’t want to fall into the decades-long software support abyss that Microsoft dwells in. Their lockdown of hardware—like the unified memory—means that with the MacBooks, you have to pony up the dough for the max RAM and storage when you buy it instead of upgrading it on your own later. I don’t like that, because it also creates issues with repair and diagnostics. My 2019 MacBook Pro has Apple Care that runs out in a few months, and the specs are great, I should be able to use this for another 10 years. Except if I encounter a hardware problem, then I won’t be able to change out bad RAM, or replace the SSD if it goes bad. Apple support will just say: “this is too old, we can pay a pittance for a return so you can buy a brand new one”.

But I don’t want a new one, because I don’t want to run any OS beyond Mojave on my personal Mac due to compatibility with older video games and so on. My work Mac is the M1 running the latest OS, and I dig it.

Gaming is also a mess.

You know what? Fuck modern gaming (especially shovelware). About 17-ish years or so ago, I gave up on Windows and didn’t bother to keep PCs around for gaming because even with AAA gaming builds, even when the game played great, I wasn’t getting system performance on par with my Macs (e.g. everything else except the games). If I wanted to play games, then consoles were the way to go (as they always had been). The only franchise I fanatically follow is Civilizations, so I kept a small PC shuttle build exclusively to play Civ III-IV. Thanks to Intel chips and Steam, Civilizations has gotten equal releases for Mac and PC. Bye-bye PC paper weight.

But something changed in the PS3-PS4/Xbox-Xbox One gaming eras. Console games began to need updates and patches. I understand why the console system itself needs updates—especially for security for online gamers—but incomplete software is shipped and sold, and that my friends, is fucking bullshit. No one should be paying $80 for a game that needs a patch as soon as you load it the first time.

Back in the 80s, I may have had to switch out multiple floppy discs to play Ultima IV on the Commodore 64, but at least that game was complete and the experience rewarding enough to not be bothered by the disc load times between “dungeon disc” and “world disc.”

I gradually quit playing console games due to the hassle, and for the past 6 years I’ve not bothered with consoles at all, and went back to PC for a few Steam games and software design testing.

Anyway, I know what I’m doing with computers, and this long complaint is to let y’all know that in the battle of Apple vs PC, it all comes down to: “different tool for a different job”; but also: “how much do you value your time and attention span?”

Mac does not waste my time. The End.