#I recognise that's not super specific

[totkdaily]

Day 6: Lookout Landing and Hyrule Castle Gatehouse

I wake stiff and cold. It's been a while since I camped out. 

It’s so strange that nobody here seemed particularly astonished by all the floating islands, which suggests they've been there for some time. Even 100 years after the Calamity, people at the stables still talked about it. Maybe I was right, and the monumental changes in the landscape really are old news? Where does that leave me? 

I need more information. It's time to go to the tower. I whistle for Peaches, and we're off. 

On the way there, a very unwelcome development - some of the trees are uprooting themselves and chasing me. This is... frightening, but thankfully they are slower than a sprinting horse. 

The guards Drozer and Burwar recognise me at the gates to the tower - or, at least the gates to Lookout Landing, which appears to be the name of the settlement. It sounds as though I was last here in their lifetime... and Burwar says that Purah is here! Though she does have the secret to eternal life, so that doesn’t really give me any clues. 

I find Robbie here too! But then, I could absolutely see him trying out Purah’s method of life preservation. Surely I must know someone who doesn’t have a preternaturally long lifespan? 

The Castle looms darkly over this otherwise cheerful encampment. The Gloom is so thick it reminds me of Malice, but it seems more ephemeral. It pushes at the Castle from below, rather than simply coating everything in that ichor of Calamity Ganon. 

I find Purah, older than she was and in control. Her presence is somehow grounding. She listens to my experience of the last few days. She recognises the name Rauru - as the first king of Hyrule. I never did get on with kings of Hyrule, especially as ghosts. But how long ago did he live? Surely Zelda knew him as a ghost, then. She can’t have… no.

The Upheaval is what they're calling the Castle rising and the ruins falling. Those researchers yesterday said that the chasms turned up around the same time. So much change. Is it because Zelda and I went beneath the castle? Or would the same thing have happened without us there? That hand - Rauru's hand - only fell off the mummy creature when we arrived. And now I bear it… 

Purah thinks Zelda might be trapped beneath the castle, but I'm not so sure. What I saw on the sky island... I think it's more complicated than that. Still, I follow Purah's orders to meet with Captain Hoz’s search party. Surely they will know something.

Having to tell everyone, one by one, that I lost the Princess, that though I am back she is still missing, crushes me. I’ve failed. 

I meet a guy called Addison who works for... President Hudson! Well, sounds like he's thriving. I hope his wife is well.

The people who guard Lookout Landing and the road up to the Castle are a mixture of mercenaries and guards. I’m sure I once rescued Oliff from bokoblins in Gerudo Canyon… which implies I haven’t been gone for too long, as he still seems young and hale. Purpen at the gatehouse has amazing dress sense, and useful information - it seems all the weapons in Hyrule have decayed in the Upheaval. That creature’s Gloom had a similar impact on the Master Sword - if that blade couldn’t resist it, nothing could. Except… my gear from the sky islands seems untouched. Perhaps it only affects metal, or certain kinds of metal? 

This motley crew is a shallow facsimile of the Castle Guard I used to know - though I know that time has now passed beyond the living memory of most. Only a few of us are left who remember it. I’m sure these people are doing their best. 

I head up the hill as instructed and find Captain Hoz. I’m not sure he knows much more than me - they haven’t even made it past the Gatehouse. 

But then we see the Princess!! She faces us from the next tower in that strange Zonai garb, her face impassive - and then before I can move she turns into light and vanishes. 

Hoz orders me to report to Purah and I ignore him, racing to where the Princess stood. But there’s no sign of her. Nothing there but a Korok. What’s happening? Why can’t she send me some kind of message? If she’s away from me against her will, how can she have appeared here - and why would she leave? 

I stay on the tower’s edge until dawn. 

[sunnymainecoon]

I know damn well I misunderstood the assignment but we roll, I'll understand it some day

It's killer and dust btw. If you couldn't tell. Which you probably couldn't.. forgor to say but shhh 🤫 Killers having a convo with himself..

..I kinda wanna change my url but idk to what

[priestly-prince]

Really hate when people can say shit like "you're almost 40, why are you still acting this way?" As if mental illness is something you just grow out of.

Traumatised kids will grow into traumatised adults. Sorry, it's etched into my brain now. It's who I am, I can't fix it, all I can do is try and cope with it and HOPE TO GOD the rest of you will give me the grace to at least try and function like a human being.

[spearxwind]

Question about the homosexueels! Do people ever see Talas and Hades in leviathan form together? (Murder dates?) Or do they take special precautions to make sure that doesn't happen? IK Talas kills pretty much everyone who sees his leviathan form tho

Ok so like. They DO take care to actually not let a lot of people see em, but Murder dates 1000% happen for real. It's a swag pastime <3

In general yeah anyone who sees Talas in leviathan form has to Die because then they can actually connect him to the worldeater and put two and two together that it's him, so he has to keep his appearance a secret.

Since there's usually no survivors to tell the tales all the info would be what comes in through radio contact before theyre cut, so there might actually be like. A witness or two of the big fucker who now has a smaller leviathan hunting alongside. So technically they probably do get seen its just people can never live for very long afterwards fkfkgnkg

And just for fun. Some other murder dates involve putting both strats together like uh. Morays and groupers do irl where they hunt together, Talas is more of an open water guy and Hades is more of a quick reef maneuver guy.

Also the other day i was thinking how fucking scary it would be if hades had his petals splayed and looking like the eyes of a big leviathan but the thing in front of him wasnt particularly shaken, and then Hades folds his petals back and Talas is like Right There.

Or even mer form Hades being completely unhinged and dragging someone behind a boat like live bait and Talas chasing them around. They do get creative basically

[longagoitwastuesday]

I was watching the Podalydès version of Cyrano de Bergerac this time from start to finish and... I'm so stupid xD

[g4l4xy-qu33n]

Okay, so I discovered something when re-reading Journal 3. The page that has the Oracle on it:

When I first read Journal 3, years ago, this didn't mean much. Oh look, it's the girl that saved Ford from Bill's possession by putting a metal plate in his head, hooray! (and some other stuff but anyway she didn't seem super significant at the time).

Well, this time around I recognised her, specifically because of the Book Of Bill AND thisisnotawebsitedotcom. She's Seveneyes! (the scratched out member of Bill's crew in BoB, and a blacked-out photo of her appears on the website when you put in 'seven eyes'.

I'm not sure if this means anything, but it certainly blew my mind!!

[sttoru]

dad!Toji losing megumi on his sight in a grocery store.

⟣ tags. dad!toji x female reader. fluff.

“where the hell did that brat go. . .” toji sighs in frustration as he makes his third trip around the numerous aisles, peeking through each gap between to see where his son could’ve possibly hid.

you had been gone for one minute to grab something you had forgotten in the car, leaving your husband and son alone at the grocery store. you thought toji would be more than capable of keeping an eye on megumi during the time you left.

he did succeed for a couple seconds, but then somehow lost sight of the little boy. it happened out of the blue—even for someone as quick as toji, his child seemed to have disappeared into thin air, without him noticing at all.

“tsk, just wait ‘til i catch ya..” toji scoffs and makes quick strides. the other customers seemed to scurry off to the sides as the dark-haired man passes them—the reason for this being his bulky and tall body and that cold yet pissed off expression on his face whilst walking forwards.

of course, toji was still secretly worried for megumi. he didn’t want to think of the worst case scenario at all. he needs to stay calm and collected in such situations. panicking will do him no good.

toji passes by a pit of plushies, paying it no mind until he hears a soft, muffled giggle from that same area. he stops in his tracks and turns his head to the right. that voice was one he could recognise from miles away.

“oh, y’re so done.” the dark-haired man mutters under his breath and digs through the many plushies, hands looking for the source of that giggle. there were a couple strands of dark blue hair sticking out from between the big stuffed animals and toji wasted no time, “c’mere, brat.”

he uses a bit of his strength and fishes out a child from under the pile of softness—his child.

“papa!” megumi squeals and was holding onto a plushie: a cute black dog one. it seems like he had waddled off and climbed onto the box to grab that specific plushie, but couldn’t get out afterwards, “papa, waf! waf!”

toji sighs and holds megumi up by the back of his shirt, walking back to your shopping cart. he gains some stares due to the obscure way he was carrying his son around, though megumi himself couldn’t care any less as he cuddles up to the plushie in his tiny arms.

toji puts the little boy in the baby seat and grabs onto the stuffed animal, tugging at it; “gimme that. ya can’t have it ‘cause ya ran off without tellin’ me.”

megumi whines and pulls the toy back in his arms, giving toji a pleading look. his lips formed a desperate pout and his eyes were starting to glisten with tears that appeared on his waterlines.

“yeah, stare at me all you want with those big bug eyes—y’re not gonna get that.” your husband shakes his head and grabs the plushie again, taking it away from his son to put it back.

megumi reacts to this by curling his chubby hand around toji’s index finger—still with that cute pout on his lips whilst trying to prevent his dad from stepping away. it’s specifically those shiny blue orbs that seem to mellow toji’s heart to the point he almost gives in.

“…”

you come back after five minutes and spot your family back in the candy aisle. the duo didn’t appear to have seen you yet since they were busy picking out some sweets for later.

“hi, my angels.” you creep up behind toji and tap his back. he instantly steps aside and your (surprisingly) super excited son comes into view.

megumi was smiling widely and that’s when your eyes land on something in his arms.

“oh, you got ‘gumi a dog plushie!” you gasp and seem to get excited for your child—megumi giggling right alongside you, “how nice!”

toji rolls his eyes, though wasn’t about to admit that he eventually did give in to megumi’s adorable tactics. he gently flicks the little boy’s forehead and looks back at you;

“didn’t get it for him out of my own free will.” your husband grumbles and then continues to squish megumi’s cheeks together using one hand, “this little brat threatened me.”

“i’m sure he did.” you chuckle and nudge toji’s side with your elbow. you knew just how much of a softie really is for his son.

“i’m not lyin’,” toji replies with a sigh and pushes the cart ahead, you following next to him with a smile, “he threatened me with those big eyes of his. i’m tellin’ ya, that stuff is dangerous.” —for my heart, he adds in his head.

you couldn’t contain your laughter as you hear your lover’s words. your gaze then lands on megumi, who was contentedly staring up at both his parents, cuddled up to the big stuffed animal.

“good job.” you gave megumi a thumbs up and ruffle his hair as a reward. the kid sticks his tongue out and almost looks proud of the fact that he got his way in the end.

toji really was just a big softie for his son. and for his wife as well, of course.

[lunaria--annua]

Sparring.

"I'll take take the dagger then. So you might stand a chance..."

(the rough sketch animation is missing a lot of details, such as The Dark 'halo', or the black eye, pieces of clothing, and so forth. I wanted to keep it simple. Note that the animation doesn't take place immediately after Krit chooses the sword, there have been training sessions before.)

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

tintin is incredible at timing

(possibly) the final snippet I'll post from my story The Gypsum Maw, the previous part which follows directly before is here - I've been seeing comments asking about where to read the full thing, I'm afraid what I post is basically it - I have more pages in my sketchbook but I suspect they are only legible to me!

this post is already long so more notes and credits under the cut!

I asked for some help for coming up with friends for Chang! The gentle giant Masek was created by InkyTrink on Twitter and the super excitable Libby was created by dreamyopal, a discord mutual:

They came up with some great character notes and were super helpful providing feedback on my designs!

Writing this felt pretty odd in ways. I graduated in 2020 during the Plague Year so my class didnt get a public art showcase. I attended one last year and it was a bittersweet experience.

Reunions feel a bit like time travel, you see people after a few years and things change quite a lot. I wanted to explore this in my post canon series, Chang has grown up, found himself and has been able to live a fairly normal life with family and friends. Tintin in a way reflects that young adult insecurity about being stagnant, like you haven't been able to fully reach adulthood properly. His fame and status as a Young Boy Reporter is holding him captive, he longs for connection but is held back by expectations from both himself and the outside world.

I've also been inspired by the concept of 'queer time,' the concept that the lives of queer people progress differently to the lives of non queer people. It takes time to come to terms with yourself and to come out. Queer people are often excluded from milestones like marriage or having children. Tintin being confronted with his peers at a university highlights his insecurity about being left behind, but he's slowly making the journey to self acceptance by talking to others, and recognising common ground he has with others.

Chang's university isn't a one to one reference to a specific institution but in Belgium there was a secular movement in reaction to the dominance of the Catholic church, in which universities played a key role. There's references to art movements that were deemed "degenerate" by the Nazis here, such as Fauvism and Surrealism.

[narcissistcookbook]

are you ever freaked out by the thought that your fans are forming parasocial attachments to you?

...i mainly ask because i have a parasocial crush on you and you telling me to fuck off would probably help

as someone super vulnerable to parasocial attachments, i totally understand them. there's a certain tabletop actual play series that carried me through quarantine to the point where i really needed to step back and remind myself i didn't actually know those people

at the same time i absolutely buy into the discourse right now about it, on the side of learning to recognise that creators aren't your friends, you don't know them, and to be extremely mindful of their boundaries

my personal boundaries as an artist with a modest following are different to the boundaries a mainstream artist would have simply because i *do* have time to chat with people online and at shows. there are also true friends in my life who first met me through my music, so hard and fast rules on the nature of the artist/fan dynamic give me the ick

so

as it stands, my boundaries are that as long as people are reminding themselves they don't actually *know* me then everything should be cool! in person i guess i'd like people to approach me like you'd approach a dog you don't know. say hi, but don't behave like we have a rapport. does that make sense? be cool and chill and i'll be happy to chat as long as the situation allows it 💜

but you, you specifically can fuck off

[rivilu]

I don't know, aside from what I said in last tags, I feel like something about her is just giving classic dragon age the most out of all the companions, and I LOVE that

This run is making me love Neve even more which i didn't think was possible

[psychotrenny]

It's funny to me how Armoured Core 6 spawned like an entire sub-section of Mecha fiction that isn't even based around the game's actual overall content but rather an exaggerated form of some very specific dynamics and ideas that crop up. And like the extent to which this sub-section "really" exists is kinda debatable, being something you only see in like short-form erotic fiction posted on Social Media and Fan-Fiction websites. But it's "real" enough to spawn a whole backlash to it which is also funny because of the stubborn refusal to recognise this fiction as like its own thing

And I'm not saying that this whole sub-section is "good" or that you have to respect it or that it's a thoughtful and compelling reflection of broader Mecha fiction. It's certainly reasonable to dislike this style of Mecha fiction. But you have to at least realise that this sort of thing is it's own style and stop criticising it as just a failed attempt of something more mainstream. Like I'll often see indignant cries of "Do these people even watch Robot shows? How can they call themselves Mecha fans?" and like yeah I'm sure a lot of people who enjoy this form of Erotic Mecha fiction only engage in that specific form of Mecha; which may make them fans of something you don't like but it's stupid to call them "fake fans". And there's also people who do very much engage with and enjoy other works of Mecha fiction but are obviously going to take a very different tone when talking about such erotic Mecha fiction in contrast to Gundam or something. They are very different takes on the same broad idea; interest in one doesn't automatically include interest in the other but that doesn't make them mutually exclusive either

I think an obvious illustrations of this is the whole "Imagine if a Mech Pilot was just a normal guy" post that was going around. To fans of the broader Mecha genre, both Super and Real robot, this comes off as a pretty inane thing to say. It's a common enough idea even among the most well known and successful properties; hardly something you have to "imagine" because most genre fans would have outright seen it. Not to mention the fact that most "proper" mech pilots are just ordinary human soldiers who have been trained for a special job. Like it's not a novel idea in the slightest. But within the specific context of (loosely) Armoured Core 6 inspired erotic Mecha fiction it takes on a whole new meaning. In such fiction your average pilot is some sort of lobotomised cyborg puppygirl, with the simultaneous transhuman and subhuman status of the pilot being a consistently major thematic aspect of the sub-genre. In that context, it would be pretty weird and fucked up for an ordinary guy to be caught in the middle of all that

Which isn't something you need to find interesting or compelling as a Mecha fan. It's perfectly understandable to reject this sub-genre and its ideas as stupid or obnoxious or whatever. But that rejection has to be a conscious act, not a reflexive outburst about how it's different from your preferred form of Mecha fiction. If you're going to criticise this sub-genre of Mecha then the criticisms need to be on its own terms; around what it's actually trying to achieve. You're missing the point entirely if you main criticism of horny mech posts is their failure to understand the themes of Mobile Suit Gundam.

[seuonji]

彡 are they dating? —times your relationship was almost revealed / time you both got caught.

๑ idol!svt x idol!yn secret relationship series! no storyline, just fun.

—yn is a hybe artist!!

★my bestie that proofreads my writings gave me the wonwoo scenario <333

one ๑ two ๑ three ๑ four ๑ five ๑ six ๑ seven #mlist

laying down with jun/soonyoung/seokmin/mingyu on his bed and taking selfies using instagram for the filters until he drops his phone and accidentally clicks on the add to story button— you both screamed until one of you deletes it or turned off the wifi so it wouldn’t post but you guys knew how persistent your fans were, you didn’t know if deleting it was good enough. he would probably say, “should i just delete my account?”

when your group won an award at an award show, during your comment the camera briefly pointed at jeonghan/wonwoo/jihoon’s face which showed his sweetest and softest smile. that picture went viral the next hour. anon: “i want someone to look at me the way he looked at yn when they won an award.” / “he wouldn’t just look at them like that for no reason they have to know each other more deeply right!?.”

passing by the seventeen practice room where seungcheol/jeonghan/minghao’s was practicing alone. he recognises your figure even though the door was translucent. he practically ran outside and looked if they coast was clear before giving you a hug. little did you guys know the one or some of your fellow hybe artists from another group was walking around that floor— they instantly said they wouldn’t tell anyone but would also be in shock and would take awhile to process what they just saw.

after an afternoon of hanging with joshua during your short break in one of the rooms in the building, you had a schedule to go live when you got back to your designated room. you soon left and looked in the mirror to make sure everything was okay and you met up with the staff then went live. you enjoyed reading the comments and answered some until you saw a specific comment. anon: yn! your necklace is so cute! where did you get it?

you mentally froze for 3 seconds and looked at yourself in the screen. you touched your neck and saw that you were wearing the necklace joshua gave you literally 30 minutes ago. you nervously laughed and said that you recently got into the activity of making jewellery and that you were testing its durability. “do you guys want one?” you smiled at your viewers. you got comments that were constantly mentioning joshua— anon: “you’re like joshua!” // “joshua from svt also makes them!!“ — but the really annoying ones would tell you you’re copying him.

during a live, a fan pointed out that wonwoo was wearing more jewellery recently. “sort of, but it’s mostly rings,” wonwoo says as he placed the back of his hand infront of the screen to showcase his rings. later on in the live he started giving the origins of each ring, “this was from a recent trip, this one is from mingyu…”

he got to a simple silver ring and he held back a grin, “this one is a typical ring but i like it a lot.” he showed the rings once again. he faced his palm to the camera but realised, on the simple silver ring, your name was engraved onto it and it was legible. he mostly had it turned inwards for reasons like this tho. he quickly took his hand away from the camera and read other comments to change the topic— the fandom became super curious, they noticed there was some writing on the ring. it was the same curiousity as to when scoups was revealed to have a tattoo.

[agirlwithglam]

S.M.A.R.T goals:

How to set and achieve your goals

What does SMART stand for?

S - specific. don't just set vague goals like "i wanna get fit" or "i wanna get abs". how are you gonna know when/ where to start? if you want to get fit: your goal could be "go to the gym for 30 mins everyday" or "i want to run 5k in under 30 mins". whatever works for you. some other examples: -> if your big goal is to get high marks on your next test: your "mini" goals/ steps should be to study everyday for at least 30-60mins. -> if your big goal is to get money/ become rich: your steps/ mini goals should be to save $___ daily first. and also figure out a way you can make a mini business/ get a job.

M - measurable. make sure that your goals are measurable- meaning that you should be able to track them. some examples: -> if your goal is to read more: then create or find a habit tracker or something so everyday when you read, you can mark it down for that day. ! recommended resource: James Clear's habit tracker journal- you can find it on amazon.

A - Achievable keep your goals realistic and attainable. if you know you dont have the time/ energy to read a whole book in 1 week, dont do it- otherwise you'll get easily discouraged. the goldilocks principle: don't make it too easy, where it doesn't give you a challenge, but don't make it too hard either, otherwise you'll get easily discouraged.

R - Relevant basically a WHY. why do you want/ need to accomplish this goal? have a motivation which drives you. make sure your goal is relevant to you in some sort of way. example: -> if you want to learn a language such as spanish, why do you wanna learn it? because you want to travel to Spain one day? to be able to communicate with someone? even if the purpose is as simple as "wanting to be bilingual cus it makes me feel cool and impressive" - if that motivates you, then go ahead!

T - time bound your goals need to have some sort of deadline or urgency attached to it- otherwise you could take all the time you want to start and procrastinate as much as you want. having a deadline for the goal will motivate you to take action sooner, than later.

how to use SMART goals effectively:

decide on the goal. (something that you actually need/ want to accomplish.)

break it down into smaller steps. (very small. so small that you can start working on whatever it is NOW.) you want to get high marks on your test? lets break it down. study 30 mins everyday -> walk to desk -> get material out -> identify what you need to study -> find your weaker topics & write it out -> create a planner or smth -> start studying. // need help? find videos online, go thru material again, find study tips, etc.

write them down. (helps you stay accountable. also people who write their goals down are 42% more likely to achieve them than people who don't write it down.)

create an action plan. (relates to the 2nd point. outline the necessary steps to take, identify resources, set milestones, plan for potential obstacles.)

monitor and evaluate progress. (regularly review your goals, mistakes, and progress. what could you do better to be more efficient and quicker? how can you learn from your mistakes?)

stay committed and flexible. (you really need to be committed to achieve the goals, you shouldn't just start off super excited, doing great in the first week then slacking off. you've made a commitment to YOURSELF. respect yourself enough to stick to it! but also be flexible with your goals. if you're reeeallyy not able to do it one day, plan to do a bit more the next day. stay focussed and don't get discouraged by setbacks.)

celebrate achievements. (recognise when you've hit a major milestone, and celebrate it! this helps you maintain motivation and a sense of accomplishment. and reward yourself!!)

random additional tips:

visualisation. (such a strong form of manifestation. everyday visualise yourself with your goals, feeling all the emotions and thoughts that come with it! visualisation can also really boost your motivation and drive to achieve it.)

PRIORITIES. (remember that also, all goals aren't equally important. prioritise the ones that really matter. this doesn't mean that you can't focus on the other goals, just make sure the ones that need more attention, get more attention.)

positive language. (use kind and encouraging words towards yourself. know and understand that you are that girl who can achieve ANYTHING she sets her mind to.)

seek support. (ask friends and family or a mentor for help. if you want, be careful tho, share your goals with them to help you stay accountable. and if you know a person who's achieved your goals, GET ADVICE FROM THEM! where better to get advice from than someone who's been through what you're going through?)

stay organised. (self explanatory. just stay organised. messy space = messy mind. clean space = clean mind.)

maintain balance. (of course your goals are important, but so is the age you're currently at. especially if you're a teenage, DONT WASTE THESE YEARS!! get out of the house! make friends! go to parties! LIVE LIFE TO ITS FULLEST. also make sure that you get the adequate rest needed!)

write about your journey. (write about the struggles, the obstacles, how you overcame them, insights you got on this journey, etc. trust me, it'll be so interesting and helpful to read when you're older.)

[rosyandraw]

Please write the damen thesis

I fucking love a good Captive Prince meta and as you didn’t give me any direction or specific topic that you wanted to see I’m just going to have a play around with the narrative themes and Damen's arc, so here’s a 3k late night caffeine induced ramble about Damen that might not be 100% coherent:

Damen and the Sword of Damocles or: The Burden of Duty.

In the legend Damocles made the mistake of commenting about the apparent happiness of the tyrant king Dionysus. Dionysus who, in actuality, is terrible and a big fat emo, figured he’d invite Damocles to dinner where Damocles was pampered, spoilt, and treated to a good time. However, Dionysus had hung a big ass sword over Damocles, hanging by a single hair and it could fall at any moment. Once Damocles noticed, he realised he couldn’t enjoy any of the dinner any more or any of the amazing things happening to him and around him.

The sword of Damocles has come to mean imminent danger. In the legend it was a symbol of the price of power. Power is a burden and as long as you have it you must constantly be vigilante, no desire or earthly pleasure will come without the knowledge that at any moment it can disappear, it might even mean very little because of it. Almost as if the ultimate price of power is the sacrifice of the things you might want.

And therein lies the central themes of Captive Prince: power, and duty vs desire.

Damen, much like Damocles in the beginning of his tale with Dionysus, was completely blind to the danger that was hanging over him. Damen didn’t so much notice the sword hanging over him as Jokaste pointed a big neon flashing sign at it in all its horrendous glory.

Damen is, for the first time, confronted by the idea that power is not a stable or steady notion. Or state of being. And he had, until this point, taken it for granted. Blind to the reality of what it meant and the sword hanging over him.

That’s not to say I think Damen is completely naïve. He knows power has costs, but his own specific psychology allows it be far away, it just is what it is for him. Something he just has to do and so locks it away. It’s the battle at Marlas: a job to be done. It’s being separate from others both personally and professionally (separate from his men, separated from Nikandros and not being able to serve at the Kings Meet, no close connections etc), it’s having to be perfect (clearly extensively trained and educated) and working hard and duty above all. But the threat?

The throne lies in the shadow of the gallows and Damen is for the first time recognising how precarious power is, how poisonous, how close the threat can fester.

Damen’s entire journey from then on, he is in a continued state of fight or flight, and that sword hanging over him does not get any lighter or any less perilous. (I could likewise talk about Damen and Laurent’s super interesting fight or flight reactions but that is a topic for another time lmao)

Damen’s journey, and his arc throughout the trilogy, can be stripped back to the notion of power and his attempt to regain his own. It’s loss, it’s meaning, how he defines himself and the world and what he understands of it: all of these relate to Damen’s understanding of, and struggle with, his own power. In its most basic form Damen loses his crown and his journey is about retaking it. The crown, we know, is the ultimate symbol of power. It’s all very blatant. Especially when coupled together with power in its most physical sense as one of Damen’s most frequented attributes from scene to scene. Damen is powerful, strong, and wilful, people listen to him, he has an unshakeable determination and has a pretty astounding effect on those around him even when he is unaware of it. Damen, we are told, is a King. Not just by birthright but in action. He has all the makings and markings of a leader. Because of this Damen always has some sense of power.

We see it over and over in a myriad of different scenes: Damen’s true sense of power is innate to himself and his abilities. Especially with a sword in hand. Damen is all wrapped up quite obviously in the theme.

However, though Damen’s journey to regain his power is the main focus of the narrative, it’s not his arc. Damen’s real journey, his internal struggle, is all about his identity.

Again, at its most basic, it seems heavy handed to say so: Damen spends the mass majority of the books hiding his identity after all, so of course it’s a theme, of course his slow decisive fight for his own power walks hand in hand with clawing back his identity. However, as we know, by the end of the trilogy we are very much aware that Damen’s identity journey was never about the crown. It was never about coming clean or using his real name and title. It was never about the unveiling of himself to all of those around him to be known. It was about discovering himself. Damen the man and not Damianos the prince.

And this dichotomy sets the stage for the real journey of Captive Prince: duty vs desire.

Damianos of Akielos: the rightful king, the son and heir, The Noble Man. He is the consummate Crown Prince, a military commander, an astute -almost legendary- warrior. The Perfect Son. The man who cares what people see of him, who is bound by tradition and expectation. The face of power and duty.

Damen the man: gives no fucks what people see of him, desperate for affection but afraid to ask for it, lost and full of doubt, empty no matter how he indulges himself. Almost self destructive and negligent with his own safety as if he has something to prove, as if he’s always striving for something, mad at his father, confused by his brother, indulgent of his own wants without thought because it’s easier than questioning. His dead mother’s son, his father’s hope. Compassionate and protective and innately aware of other peoples vulnerability. This is his internal face, the man and not the crown. Full of desire and emotionally broken.

Damen has, for a long time, kept himself at arms-length. Nikandros is his only real friendship, his tragic family life is nothing but duty and trauma. His love life is full of sex and no emotional intimacy. He never, not once, considered Jokaste as anything but his mistress. It wasn’t Jokaste that broke his heart, it was Kastor. She is explicitly his mistress; someone he is intimate with only during sex. She’s not his future and she knows this. She will never be Damen’s queen; it never even crosses his mind.

I assume Damen, like most princes, thought he’d marry for duty. A political marriage that would ultimately not be his choice, so why bother getting close?

This is where the masculine culture of Akielos would come into play and we could spend hours here playing around with the heteronormative aspects of both Akielos and Vere (normalised queer sexual relationships aside there are deep underlying mentalities here surrounding the themes of submission and masculinity and what is Acceptable. I liken it to Rome in this respect: totally cool to stick your dick wherever if you are a citizen, not so cool to take a dick unless you are in a category Roman's viewed as inferior, but that's an entire essay unto it self). This is yet one more place wherein Damen struggles and where his wants don't necessarily align with the expectation of him. Bottom line: Damen doesn't really personally give a shit, but Damianos does. And we see this by the Akielon (Nikandros and Makedon) reaction to Damen's cuffs, scars and circumstance and how Damen reacts to these things both as his own person, and as a man who knows how Akielos will perceive it.

Segregation, compartmentalisation, and separation. These three are the main components of Damen’s trauma manifesting in his personality. I could talk about his psychology, his trauma, how and why this happened. But that is a different discussion for a different day. Right now, all we need to be aware of is that Damen does this in every single aspect of his being and within the narrative.

He does it with sex (separating the physical and the emotional), his trauma (stowing it away and dismissing it instead of feeling it, as if acknowledging and feeling were one and the same), with politics (slavery, Akielos vs Vere), with his father (the king vs the man), with his brother (the resentment he is aware of vs the desperate want of his brother), what he thinks he needs vs what he wants.

Damen never sees himself as a slave. Never not once, does he doubt himself in this regard. He doesn’t feel it. He doesn’t allow himself to feel it. Not truly, there is never a breakdown, never a moment in the first two books where this terrible tragic traumatic thing gets the better of him.

This is because Damen has always split himself in half this way. We see it again and again, explicitly, and implicitly, Damen is a man of two faces.

Damianos the Crown and Damen the man. This is how he keeps himself so separate from the shackles he finds himself in. Because it’s not him, not really, and only someone used to compartmentalising aspects of themselves could do what Damen does in Vere as easily as he does.

It is no surprise that the real meeting of those two faces is what causes Damen to (finally) spiral. Not well, of course, Damen’s too controlled to spiral fully, but Damen only loses his shit a handful of times in all 3 books (and considering his chronic fight or flight is popping the fuck off it's actually super impressive but I digress).

I’m talking the out-of-control kind of loses his shit, and almost all of them are for Laurent. These are: the kidnappers in Vask when they lay suggestive hands on Laurent and Damen reacts to Laurent’s innate sense of vulnerability in this regard, it’s not jealousy, it’s because Damen is, at heart, a protector.

The Kings Meet, where Damen’s rage for Laurent sees him absolutely lose it at one of his Kingdoms most sacred places. Again, it’s not jealousy, it’s not even something he digests because fundamentally Damen already knew. He just hadn’t confronted it, allowed himself to think of it, so when it’s spelled out for him he doesn’t question, he just reacts. With rage. For Laurent.

There are only 2 other times Damen really loses it on page where it comes out as pure Viking Berserker rage: Charcy and with Makedon. Both of these times he has been pushed to the end of his emotional tether and he snaps.

Which is odd for Damen, who has so much control. It’s no surprise these things occur after the clash of his two faces when Nikandros and an Akielon army kneels for him at Ravenel. Charcy, where the man in love is determined and worried and willing to hope for Laurent. Where the Rightful King is very fucking aware that he should be heading south and this battle is not tactically something he needs to do or even that he should do and that his men are certainly not on board with.

Makedon, we know, is a target for Damen’s rage because he is there. But he’s not really attacking Makedon, it’s everything, the accumulation of hit after hit that breaks because, again, Damen is at the absolute end of his emotional tether. With Laurent, with Kastor, with Jokaste, with his position, with the future opening up before him where he knows he can’t win the way he wants. Because at that point, his real wants are impossible. And the prospect opening up before him is cold and empty and a crown he should never have had to fight for, against a man he loves even now despite everything. Abusers, we know, are good at getting that response from their victims.

If Damen had had those two aspects of himself confronted before he fell in love with Laurent then nothing would have changed. He could have walked away safe and sound and kept his world view and his deeply unhealthy coping mechanisms entirely intact.

But that’s not what happens. Damianos the Crown and Damen the man can no longer hide from each other by the time reality comes calling at Ravenel.

Because he does fall for Laurent and he recognises that it is directly in conflict with his mission, with his duty and his crown. Damen’s narrative journey to regain his own power is tied explicitly and irrevocably to his identity struggle and his love story. His love for Laurent is the trigger that bursts the dam in his head and he sees himself, finally, as a man split in half. Is forced to confront the dissonance within himself as Laurent’s lover and as his own man.

In the end of the legend Damocles decided he would never want to trade places with the King, realising that power was, in fact, a burden, and he would rather enjoy his life.

But Damen is the King. Unlike Damocles he already has power. His struggle then, is not only about recognising the burden that comes with power, but reconciling his world view to include the sword he had been fortunate enough to never really notice.

It becomes a struggle between the opposing wants within Damen: duty and power vs love and desire and how to reconcile them.

In other words: A kingdom, or this?

Damen, like Damocles, learns his lesson. Hard and fast but it takes a while for him to frame that in his reality. More importantly, to frame Laurent in that reality.

Because Laurent is not blind to that sword. He has been painfully aware of that sword for a long time. His though, his less of a burden and more of a threat, he lets the sword hang or he dies. There is no alternative for Laurent.

Laurent’s struggle, similar and yet so contrasting to Damen, is that he has ignored the feast entirely. He indulged once, saw the sword and concentrated on nothing else from then on. Laurent’s reconciliation between duty and desire is not the same as Damen’s, in fact it is much more blatant. He doesn’t let himself feel desire but for life (power) to mean anything he has to let it in eventually or else it’s empty. Nothing but the constant anxious vigilance of waiting for danger and despair.

It's no life.

A kingdom or this then, duty vs love, becomes a motif for Damen reconciling the parts of himself that are newly discovered to him with the man his father, Nikandros, Akielos, wants or needs him to be. To Damen, duty and his fight for the crown is Damianos the prince. It’s his birth right, it’s who he is, who he was raised to be and Akielos is his home. His everything. Except Damen, the man, knows that it’s empty, that being perfect meant nothing in the end and as a man, he wants love. Would throw everything else away for it.

Reconciling those two opposing but equally as devastatingly consuming wants becomes the focal point of King’s Rising.

The merging, of course, narratively, comes at Ravenel. When Damen watches Nikandros and his men go to their knees for Damianos. The internal merging however, the reconciliation, comes at Karthas. With Laurent, when he uses, for the first time, both of Damen’s names in bed. That is the moment we see Damen stitch himself together, realign himself, a camera coming into focus. Damianos the King, the representation of duty, meeting Damen the man and the representation of desire. Quite literally, coming together.

We know this is the moment for Laurent too, for vastly different reasons, but Laurent makes his choices here too. He already knows what he’s going to do here, and so does Damen. The choice has been made, the stage is set, the final ball is in motion.

The readers are, of course, rooting for both. For Damen to win his crown and keep Laurent. We know there will be a choice now and when it does finally come to that choice Damen and Laurent are on the same page and make the same choices. Winning their crowns was a happy accident. Because they both choose this.

Laurent gave himself up for Damen without hesitation. He chose love. Damen throws himself on the mercy of the court knowing he was likely going to die just so that Laurent would not be alone. Those are not the choices of Kings. It’s not duty. Those are the choices made with love and with little regard for anything but that love.

Laurent, we know, knows that Damen can beat the Regent. The Regent has not won against him yet. It’s somewhat tactical but it’s hypothetical, a conciliation or justification of the sacrifice he’s making. Getting the Regent out of Akielos, giving himself up, makes Damen safer, because Laurent knows that Damen retaking the throne in Akielos is a matter of time, they won’t stand against him for long, he knows this. The Regent muddies the waters. But Damen is, canonically, the only person who has baffled and beat the Regent from day one. Laurent is that confident in Damen. But, as I said, those are his justifications. Not his reasons.

Damen doesn’t even try to justify it; he goes so that Laurent is not alone. That’s his choice. Winning their crowns was an afterthought.

Damen doesn’t do it blindingly, he is painfully aware of the sword hanging over him, the consequences of those choices, but it is the moment where Damen decides that the feast in front of him is still worth it. If the sword falls it falls. It doesn’t matter what he does, if it’s going to fall it will fall regardless but if he doesn’t take what’s in front of him then the rest will mean absolutely fucking nothing. It is, for them both, a very conscious decision.

It does, of course, end with the bells. A two-fold symbol we all have been conditioned to accept as an ending: a Disney inspired Pavlovian response. It’s the hero’s arc complete, it’s the journey’s end, the signal of both a victory, and in every fairy-tale ever: a wedding.

Or: a kingdom and this, the real merging.

So there we go, hope you like it dear. You're lucky it was this and not word vomit about the sword throw scene because it very nearly was my dude.

[amuseoffyre]

Fyre's convention adventures - Day 1

I've never done a con before, but for the chance to meet 5 of the folk from my favourite little pirate show, of course I was going to break that streak. Especially since it was a convention entirely focused on them and the show.

And since this is liable to get long, lemme put a lil snip

Since it was a hotel con and only focused on the one show, it was a lot smaller and more intimate than the more intimidating scale (to me) of Comiccons and things like that. Plus loads of people I knew already from fan meet-ups and things were going, which made it sound a lot more fun.

It was also the time for the wider OFMD fan community to meet the OFMD muppets :D My priority was to take down all of the characters of the cast who would be attending, so 5 in all: my latest Stede, Izzy, a new Calypso, Lucius and Jim. And two extras on commission - a second Stede and a full-body Ed in his Penitence Onesie. Seven in all 😅

I had three of them shipped down special delivery and the other four filled my case. Thank goodness for a generous hand-luggage allowance is all I can say. It also turned out to be the best decision of my life to bring them because they cause chaotic joy all over the place.

Did a bunch of mingling and scheming (more details on the Elusive Birthday Scroll later) and then the opening night and got to say it never stops being surreal seeing people off the telly in the same room as you.

Since I was treating myself to the gold ticket, I got to go along to the fanmeet which is basically a group of 8 at a table get a few minutes with each of the guests, speed-dating style (we also did chair rotation so everyone got a chance to sit beside the guests). Since we had enough muppets for nearly everyone, lo, we had them arrayed around the table on peoples' laps :)

I'm gonna do a brief summary of each, pulling in from my notes made the morning after as well.

First up was Vico when I was sitting by the guest seat and I got exactly the "OMG!" reaction I had hoped for when they saw the puppets❤️ Turns out they're super into puppetry (as is their partner) and have been incorporating it into their drag routines and have been planning to do a lot more with it with mention of an N'Sync style puppet routine for themself as well.

They also talked about an actor they've been compared to for years - Roberta Colindrez - and that they have recently done some work together and it made Vico realise that they are the muppet version of Colindrez in human form XD They are so animated as well, all hands all moving all the time :D I also said if I could arrange it, I'd try and get the puppet to them if they wanted it (Con rules are that you can't hand gifts directly to guests)

Nathan was second and went "ooooh those are all so creepy... except that one. He's gorgeous" about the Lucius puppet :D He chatted a bit about the show and adamantly insisted that he is a professional actor no matter what the sandwich to the head scene tells you.

Kristian was our third and for the first time in my life, someone recognised my accent as Scottish 🥹 Turns out we both have family from similar parts over here :D We had a nice chat about the places people were all from around the table.

And, of course, he got to see and hold Calypso :) Unlike all my other muppets, I redesigned her specifically for him. My usual design, the neck would be too small, so instead, I left the back of her head open and scaled up the body with a flat base.Course, he didn't know this and went a-seeking the hole 🤣 I explained she'd been redesigned and he had a chuckle about the fact "I went straight under the skirt there" :D "She's got better make-up than me" as well :D

And when I told him she was for him, his eyes went as big as Puss in Boots. And of course, then started pondering what would happen if he crossed her with his furry Calypso muppet and what kind of babies they would have. Probably furry XD

Next up was Con and with the most perfect timing, he arrived at the table just as one of our gang was shoving their hand right up the Izzy muppet 🤣 "Blooooody hell," says he and just has a good look around at all the mups. Asks who made them and all fingers point my way and he was out of his chair in an instant and around the table to give me the biggest hug and tell me "these are genius".

There may have been a bit of blue-screening in that moment and mental declarations of fealty.

I don't even remember how he ended up holding the Izzy muppet (or why he ended up giving it a snog 🤣), but he happily cradled it for the rest of the chat and looked very thrilled when I said that he could have it after the con if he wanted. Topic moved on and led to discussions of the boyfriend of one of the attendees, who made an... impression on him. Relating to size. And proportion. And how bits... fit 🤣

When asked about cars, he said he likes something sturdy and reliable and a bit like him and someone said, "what? A mini?" XD He also would like to go back to theatre, but says it would absolutely have to be the right piece. There have been discussions but they fell through, and he's off back to America to do some filming this week.

And lastly, with me back in the guest-neighbour-seat, it was our captain, who is very excited about getting back on the road with his stand-up tour and has lots of other bits of work coming his way.

He also talked about the fact that OFMD isn't going anywhere. He compared it to shows like Fawlty Towers, where there's the kind of humour and character stuff in there that was good and funny and loved for years, despite not running long at all.

The Star Trek stuff wot he can't talk about has him all excited but he would also love to do Doctor Who, ideally as some kind of helpful alien, though he wouldn't mind playing a bad guy.

He'd also like to do Star Wars at some point, but after they've stopped doing this oversaturation stuff, because there is so much of it all pouring out all of the time and they've lost sight of the heart of it. He loved Rogue One, though, so more like that :)

They were all so lovely and attentive and enthusiastic and it genuinely did just feel like sitting down for a chat with a bunch of friends. And so. frigging. funny in such different and fantastic ways :D It was definitely a great start to the weekend and it only escalated from there :)

There was some music and discoing, but after early travel and much dashing about, honk-shu time was calling and day one of the Fyre's first con experience was done :)