#I really wanna participate in more of these
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• "The way I love you"•
A short compilation of each character's ways of showing they love you.
Characters included: Aphelios, Hwei, Jayce, Jhin, Jinx, Sett, Silco, Viktor, Yone (separately and in this order) x GN!Reader
Warning: Mentions of Jhin's gun in his text section, since we're talking about a criminal psychopath, lol. Other than that, it's just a silly and cute post.
Aphelios
He must admit that his favorite place in the world is when you're sitting with him on the couch or even in bed, with your back against his torso, his legs wrapped around yours and his head resting on your shoulder as you read the pages of a book out loud.
"Some things are more precious because they don't last long"* You read the sentence, letting it sink in. "Do you agree with that, Phel?"
His eyes widened, he wasn't really paying attention to the story, even though it was a classic of literature. He was just enjoying how pleasant your voice sounded.
"I bet you weren't paying much attention"
He just nodded, his cheeks growing warm with embarrassment.
His hand squeezed yours in apology.
You squeezed it back, letting him know it was okay.
"Aren't you two adorable?" Alune sang in Aphelios's thoughts.
*"The Picture of Dorian Gray" reference.
Hwei
Letting you see his most secret artworks was the way he could show his love for you. Letting you participate in the creation of new pieces was also common, with him patiently guiding you through the process.
"Are you sure about this?" You asked anxiously, trembling when he put the paint-soaked brush in your hands. He just timidly smiled before nodding.
"You inspire not only my art, but my soul as well" His hand covered yours, helping you to put the final brushstrokes on the canvas. "I want you to be part of this"
Jayce
You could say this man likes to be a provider. That being said, he would do anything on his reach to make you happy.
And what usually makes you happy is a whole body massage after a full day of fiddling with trinkets and dealing with daunting equations in the lab.
You sighed in frustration as you laid down on the bed after showering, your aching muscles making you uncomfortable. His hands squeezed your shoulders gently, making you whimper softly.
"You're tense" His hands worked on the right places so you could finally relax. "Let me help you with that"
"You don't have to-" You couldn't finish your line, not when he was so efficiently taking away your pain.
"See?" He teased. "Let me spoil you a little, love"
Jhin
He allows you to play his piano, take off his mask and even hold Whisper - his gun - whenever you pleased. That was his deviant way of showing you were a slightly more important piece in his performance.
"When will you put this to good use, my muse?" He asked, playfully tracing patterns against your thigh with his gun. With the time you’d known him, you knew better than to give in to his distorted ideas.
"Preferably never" You muttered, taking Whisper off his hand and setting it aside. "I learned a new sheet while you were gone, wanna hear it?"
Jinx
She lives for cuddling with you.
It's always the peak of her day.
It feels so intimate and perfect.
Being with you, feeling the softness of your skin, the warmth of your body, the smell of your shampoo and cologne, feeling you melt against her, letting go of your worries as she hums a familiar tune, is the closest thing to heaven she could ever get.
"I could stay like this forever" You whispered, feeling her chuckle against your nape.
"Did you swap your shampoo brand?"
"Jinx…" You deadpanned.
"I'm just teasing you" She kissed your hair. "I could spend eternity with you in my arms"
Sett
This seems so obvious, but not only would he let you freely touch his ears, he would also ask you to give them the attention they need. Also, he would gladly allow you to see through his tough facade, giving you the chance to know how kind and pure he can be.
It was a funny scene, to say the least. A man of almost two meters of height, in his knees, with his head resting on your lap, confessions leaving his lips.
"This feels good…" He sighed, closing his eyes in bliss as you played with his ears. You pulled one of them playfully. "H-Hey!"
"You are really something" You mused.
Silco
Almost every night you can prepare for laying down on the couch, with your head on his lap, his fingers combing through your hair as he tells you stories about his past.
Often you fall asleep like that, with him taking you to your bedroom after he notices you wouldn't wake up so easily.
"We used to meet a lot back then, it was-" He was missing your voice responding to his comments. It was when he noticed you had fallen asleep, looking so vulnerable and precious as he played with your hair. "Guess I'll have to finish this story tomorrow"
Viktor
Brews coffee or makes tea for you every day, appearing by your side on the laboratory to help you unwind in the moments you were feeling exhausted or distressed with your work. It's his way of showing he cares about you.
"Here, have this" he squeezed your shoulders, taking your attention away from the trinkets above your desk.
"Hot chocolate today?" You asked quietly, standing up from your seat and taking the cup in your hands. "What made you change your mind?"
"It releases dopamine, you'll thank me later" He kissed the top of your head, making you sigh in delight.
Yone
Letting you in when his world was nothing but chaos was enough to show you he loved you dearly.
He had faced horrible creatures and devilish days for years straight, still, he let his guard down and allowed you to be part of his life when it was pure hell.
You caressed his hair with delicacy, soothing him after a day of battles.
"Can I hug you?" You asked quietly, your fingers now stroking his cheek.
"Please" He whispered against your lips, sighing heavily when you pulled him impossibly close, "You make me feel like I'm alive again" He muttered against your neck.
#silco x reader#viktor x reader#sett x reader#jinx x reader#jhin x reader#yone x reader#jayce x reader#hwei x reader#aphelios x reader#arcane x reader#arcane fluff
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Feliz Navidad - Secret Santa Part 3 (King's Edition)
Featuring: Jichang Kwak, Taesoo Ma, Seongji Yuk, Gitae Kim, Gongseob Ji, Seokdu Wang, Jaegyeon Na
Masterlist -----------------------
Jichang Kwak
Unfortunately, when someone has a job, it leaves them very little time to participate in something as silly as secret santa. Unfortunately, Jichang, the man you wanted to so desperately participate in secret santa, had a job.
You sat on a bench, pouting your lips. You really wanted Jichang to participate so you could rig it and give him a gift. Why can’t the gods do you a favour for once and let you cause some mischief.
You heard the crunch of boots against snow to your side, but decided to ignore it, too sad. Atleast, until a familiar voice spoke.
“Does me not participating in secret santa really make you that sad? Well then, I suppose I’ll have to participate next year, no matter how busy I am.”
Sitting up straight, Jichang was standing in front of you, a cigarette between his lips. You stared, at a loss for words. It only took him 5 seconds to see what was wrong with you. You felt stupid now knowing that even when he was busy, he made the time to come and find you. And you were just complaining about not being able to surprise him.
“It’s okay to be upset with me. I wanted to participate, but they needed me to work more hours. Come over for Christmas dinner though. We could use someone who actually knows how to cook” Jichang said, placing a hand on your head, ruffling your hair.
As he walked away, a deep red blush appeared on your face. You curled into a ball, letting out a scream.
“Ahhhhhh, how can such a man exist”
----------------------- Taesoo Ma
Taesoo’s large hands were covering your eyes as he led you to who knows where. Well…he did, he just wouldn't tell you. You had almost tripped a dozen times by now, getting more impatient with each step.
Finally you both came to a stop.
“Okay, you ready?” He grumbles out. His hands move away from your eyes and you stare in confusion.
In front of you was the wilderness, trees rustling with the wind. You stare up at Taesoo, waiting for an explanation on what was happening.
“You told me about how cool it is to own a mountain, so I got you your own.” He said, his voice dead serious.
Now that is not something you see everyday. You never thought this man would go out of his way to buy you something you had mentioned in passing a while ago. Your jaw was on the ground. In shock, at how much money this man actually had to buy multiple mountains.
Taesoo picks your jaw up, closing your mouth, before lecturing you a bit.
“Close your mouth or else you'll catch flies. Maybe I should have gifted you a smaller mountain.”
The mountain wasn't the problem.
----------------------- Seongji Yuk
You sat cross-legged, waiting for the treat Seongji had promised you. You know that he had limited money, so when he told you he got you anything at all, you were ecstatic.
A sweet smell lingered through the air, and a small crackle of sugar was heard. As Seongji handed you the finished product, he spoke, voice low yet clear.
“Wait for it to cool before you eat it. I don't wanna, or have the equipment, to deal with burns.”
The tanghulu was beautiful looking. The sugary syrup coated the fruit perfectly, not leaving a spot untouched. You waited patiently, both for it to cool, and for Seongji to join you.
“Sorry I couldn't give you anything else, I hope you enjoy this.” He said, sitting cross-legged next to you.
A smile crossed your face and you took the first bite, it was as good as it looked. Looking at Seongji, you spoke, excited, not thinking.
“Are you kidding me! What's better than a sweet treat with a sweet man”
You cringed at your words but he just smiled.
----------------------- Kim Gitae/Kitae
“Here”
It was one word but Gitae spoke it with authority, no room for arguments. He threw a package into your lap, causing you to fumble a bit. Picking it up, you examined it for a good minute before you asked what it was.
“Um…what is this?”
Curiosity tainted your tone as you continued to stare at the mysterious package. A small chuckle came from Gitae as he lit a cigarette. He took a puff before responding, amused at your reaction.
“Only the best of what I got. Use it or sell it, I really don't care, just don't go making a name for yourself with it.”
Oh…OH SHIT!
Your eyes widened at the new information. In what world did Gitae think drugs would make an amazing secret santa gift. Who even let him participate? Couldn't he have just bought you something with the drug money instead of making you work for it yourself?
“What the actual fuck Gitae! I’m dragging your ass down if I get caught with this” That earned you a hearty laugh.
----------------------- Gongseob Ji
Gongseob stood close to you, too close. Even when you side stepped, he followed, leaving almost no room between the two of you. Finally, you had enough and decided to ask what his deal was.
“What do you want?” It came off harsh but he didn't care.
“I'm your secret santa, exciting right?” His tongue was sticking out as he spoke.
“I got you an amazing gift, one of a kind.” He kept yapping on, but you drowned him out.
Your attention was brought back when you heard the sound of a zipper being undone. Looking down, you were greeted with Gongseob, who had started to pull out Gongseob junior. Oh fuck no!
“What the hell!” You exclaimed. How did he think his dick was a gift? Cocky man! This gift SUCKED!!!
You moved automatically, your form would make even the best boxers swoon at how good it looked. With speed never seen before, not even by him, your fist swung swiftly, yet hard, landing right on his family jewels.
He fell to the ground, clutching his damaged merchandise, moaning in pain. You let out a sigh before shaking your fist out. A smile grew on your face as you let out a laugh
“I take it back, that was an amazing gift.”
----------------------- Seokdu Wang
Seokdu pulled out your seat, allowing you to sit down before pushing the chair in. For such an unassuming and rough looking man, he sure knew his manners.
The food was served as soon as he sat down. An assortment of dishes scattered across the large table. This was quite the luxurious gift, one you weren't expecting from him.
“Thank you for the meal, everything looks amazing”
Your words held only the truth. Everything looked yummy. Looking at his plate, you noticed a salad, just a salad. Confused, you decided to ask about it.
“So…what's with the salad, you look like the type to eat raw meat.”
“I'm vegan.”
Ah, there always was a catch. Something you would never have assumed by looking at him. You decided to change the subject, to a more pressing matter.
“I wish you had told me what the gift was beforehand. I would have dressed up better to fit the vibes of this place. I look like a rat.”
You didn't actual look like a rat, you looked like wet rat who survived a hurricane. You were wearing sweatpants that hadn't been washed in weeks, a baggy sweater and your hair was all over the place.
“Don't worry about others seeing you. I booked the whole restaurant.”
How are all the king's so rich???
----------------------- Jaegyeon Na
“I've driven a million kilometers on it and it's still good as new, I swear.” Jaegyeon spoke, placing the car keys in your hand.
You look at the car he was gifting you and well normally you would have been crying tears of joy at the gift, you just stared, annoyed. Initial N, as he called it, was the ugliest car you've ever seen. And that was before whatever happened to it
Looking at it now, the front hood was smashed, and the roof was gone. It also smelled like piss, more so than usual. Did he think you were stupid.
“No” Is all you say, too insulted to speak otherwise. How dare this man try and give you an ugly car.
“What do you mean no? You can't say no to a gift, especially one as good as this one. Who else am I supposed to give this to?”
“Not my problem.” You tell the man, before walking away, done with the man and his ugly cars. You look back at the sound of crying. This man was hugging the car, telling it how special it was.
Well Jaegyeon was special, no doubt about that.
Part 1, Part 2
Welcome to part three of the secret santa series! We have one more part to go! I'll give you a spolier in that in contains 5/6 characters and it will be posted on the 24th. It will be the last part of the secret santa series.
If you don't see your favourite character in this part, go check out the others!
Easiest to write for: Gongseob Ji
Hardest to write for: Jichang Kwak
#lookism#lookism x reader#jichang kwak#taesoo ma#seongji yuk#gitae kim#kitae kim#gongseob ji#seokdu wang#jaegyeon na#jichang kwak x reader#taesoo ma x reader#seongji yuk x reader#gitae kim x reader#kitae kim x reader#gongseob ji x reader#seokdu wang x reader#jaegyeon na x reader#lookism manhwa
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Here's RID15 Soundwave for @aleksgivanov's DTIYS coz his design is pretty cool imo 😳😳😳
#Kusa Art 0-0)/#I really wanna participate in more of these#so thank you for having em#this was a real fun one to do#soundwave#rid15 soundwave#transformers rid15#transformers robots in disguise 2015#tf rid2015#tf rid15
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i need to get this out of my head before i continue clone^2 but danny being the first batkid. Like, standard procedure stuff: his parents and sister die, danny ends up with Vlad Masters. He drags him along to stereotypical galas and stuff; Danny is not having a good time.
He ends up going to one of the Wayne Galas being hosted ever since elusive Bruce Wayne has returned to Gotham. Vlad is crowing about having this opportunity as he's been wanting to sink his claws into the company for a long while now. Danny is too busy grieving to care what he wants.
And like most Galas, once Vlad is done showing him off to the other socialites and the like, he disappears. Off to a dark corner, or to one of the many balconies; doesn't matter. There he runs into said star of the show, Bruce who is still young, has been Batman for at least a year at this point, but still getting used to all these damn people and socializing. He's stepped off to hide for a few minutes before stepping back into the shark tank.
And he runs into a kid with circles under his eyes and a dull gleam in them. Familiar, like looking into a mirror.
Danny tries to excuse himself, he hasn't stopped crying since his parents died and it's been months. He rubs his eyes and stands up, and stumbles over a half-hearted apology to Mister Wayne. Some of Vlad's etiquette lessons kicking in.
Bruce is awkward, but he softens. "That's alright, lad," he says, pulling up some of that Brucie Wayne confidence, "I was just coming out here to get some fresh air."
There's a little pressing; Bruce asks who he's here with, Danny says, voice quiet and grief-stricken, that he's with his godfather Vlad Masters. Bruce asks him if he knows where he is, and Danny tells him he does. Bruce offers to leave, Danny tells him to do whatever he wants.
It ends with Bruce staying, standing off to the side with Danny in silence. Neither of them say a word, and Danny eventually leaves first in that same silence.
Bruce looks into Vlad Masters after everything is over, his interest piqued. He finds news about him taking in Danny Fenton: he looks into Danny Fenton. He finds news articles about his parents' deaths, their occupations, everything he can get his hands on.
At the next gala, he sees Danny again. And he looks the same as ever: quiet like a ghost, just as pale, and full of grief. Bruce sits in silence with him again for nearly ten minutes before he strikes a conversation.
"Do you like to do anything?"
Nothing. Just silence.
Bruce isn't quite sure what to do: comfort is not his forte, and Danny doesn't know him. He's smart enough to know that. So he starts talking about other things; anything he can think of that Brucie Wayne might say, that also wasn't inappropriate for a kid to hear.
Danny says nothing the entire time, and is again the first to leave.
Bruce watches from a distance as he intercts with Vlad Masters; how Vlad Masters interacts with him. He doesn't like what he sees: Vlad Masters keeps a hand on Danny's shoulder like one would hold onto the collar of a dog. He parades him around like a trophy he won.
And there are moments, when someone gets too close or when someone tries to shake Danny's hand, of deep possessiveness that flints over Vlad Masters' eyes. Like a dragon guarding a horde.
He plays the act of doting godfather well: but Bruce knows a liar when he sees one. Like recognizes like.
Danny is dull-eyed and blank faced the entire time; he looks miserable.
So Bruce tries to host more parties; if only so that he can talk to Danny alone. Vlad seems all too happy to attend, toting Danny along like a ribbon, and on the dot every hour, Danny slips away to somewhere to hide. Bruce appears twenty minutes later.
"I was looking into your godfather's company," he says one night, trying to think of more things to say. Some nights all they do is sit in silence. "Some of my shareholders were thinking of partnering up--"
"Don't."
He stops. Danny hardly says a word to him, he doesn't even look at him -- he's sitting on the ground, his head in his knees. Like he's trying to hide from the world. But he's looking, blue eyes piercing up at Bruce.
Bruce tilts his head, practiced puppy-like. "Pardon?"
"Don't." Danny says, strongly. "Don't make any deals with Vlad."
It's the most words Danny's spoken to him, and there's a look in his eyes like a candle finding its spark. Something hard. Bruce presses further, "And why is that?"
The spark flutters, and flushes out. Danny blinks like he's coming out of a trance, and slumps back into himself. "Just don't."
Bruce stares at him, thoughtful, before looking away. "Alright. I won't."
And they fall back into silence.
Danny, when he leaves, turns to look at Bruce, "I mean it." He says; soft like he's telling a secret, "Don't make any deals with him. Don't be alone with him. Don't work with him."
He's scampered away before Bruce can question him further.
(He never planned on working with Vlad Masters and his company; he's done his research. He's seen the misfortune. But nothing ever leads back to him. There's no evidence of anything. But Danny knows something.)
At their next meeting, Danny starts the conversation. It's new, and it's welcomed. He says, cutting through their five minute quiet, that he likes stars. And he doesn't like that he can't see them in Gotham.
Bruce hums in interest, and Danny continues talking. It's as if floodgates had been opened, and as Bruce takes a sip of his wine, it tastes like victory.
("Tucker told me once--") ("Tucker?") ("Oh-- uh, one of my best friends. He's a tech geek. We haven't talked in a while.")
(Danny shut down in his grief -- his friends are worried, but can't reach him. When he goes back to the manor with Vlad, he fishes out his phone and sends them a message.)
(They are ecstatic to hear from him.)
It all culminates until one day, when Danny is leaving to go back inside, that Bruce speaks up. "You know," He says, leaning against the railing. "The manor has many rooms; plenty of space for a guest."
The implication there, hidden between the lines. And Danny is smart, he looks at Bruce with a sharp glean in his eyes, and he nods. "Good to know."
The next time they see each other, Danny has something in his hands. "Can you hold onto something for me?" He asks.
When Bruce agrees, Danny places a pearl into his palm. or, at least, it's something that looks like a pearl. Because it's cold to the touch; sinking into Bruce's white silk gloves with ease and shimmering like an opal. It moves a little as it settles into his hand, and the moves like its full of liquid.
Bruce has never seen anything like it before, but he does know this; it's not human. "What is it?" He asks, and Danny looks uncomfortable.
"I can't tell you that." He says, shifting on his foot like he's scared of someone seeing it. "But please be careful with it. Treat it like it's extremely fragile."
When Bruce gets home, he puts it in an empty ring box and hides the box in the cave. He tries researching into what it is. he can't find anything concrete.
Everything comes to a head one day when Danny appears at the manor's doorstep one evening, soaking wet in the rain, and bleeding from the side.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc prompt#man i just really need more dpdc stuff where danny and bruce have a good relationship. like man i NEED it. like i need to see these two#bonding together. and not in a cracky 'oh danny is a distant friend/cousin/etc' stuff but like. active participants in each other's lives#or as active as can be in this case. i neeeeed these two getting along and caring about one another#this idea came to me like last night and hasn't left since nd it was driving me up the wall to think about both positively and negatively b#i neeeded someone to hear about this or i was gonna implode#danny is the first son#tried to just get the general gist of the idea down but i definitely thought of the idea that bruce lowkey suspects vlad for having a hand#Vlad allows Danny to sneak off because he thinks Danny is alone. if he knew Bruce was there he'd be piiisssed and would put a stop to it#Sam and Tucker are alive they just got ghosted for a bit by danny bc he was in Major Grief and didn't wanna socialize. He couldn't go to#them because he didn't wanna put them in danger via Vlad.#oh that thing he handed Bruce? Yeah that's his ghost core. I have a headcanon (that isnt always applied) that ghosts can take their cores#out of their bodies at will and painlessly and without issue. and its common practice actually to do so bc they can be a not insignificant#distance away from said core before problems start to act up. and its common for ghosts to leave their physical cores at their lairs for#safekeeping because as long as the physical core is fine: so is the ghost. they can reform if their body gets destroyed. it also acts as a#fast travel sometimes. where they can reform at their core in an instant. its not inspired in the slightest by SU but i do see the overlap#most cores are pretty small for safety sake: its harder to hit if its small. and they're pr resilient too but its better to be safe than#sorry. so yeah. danny essentially gave bruce the physical embodiment of his soul and indirectly said#'if anything happens to me at least i'll be safe with you'#danny doesn't know he's batman btw#starry rambles.#was gonna go into danny becoming a vigilante beside bruce but im sleeeepy so i'll do that in a reblog. he's gonna go by nightingale if#anyone is interested. stereotypical but to be frank it is a *good* name imo. has a good amount of syllables and consonants to it#and the bird theme. and since its part of an ancestral name it has even more backing for it being bird-y without being meta
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AceAlastorWeek2024! Day 1: Cake Day
So happy to participate in this ^^ I thought Al would appreciate a more... bloody cake
#acealastorweek2024#Alastor#Hazbin Hotel#Hazbin Hotel Alastor#ace#aro#asexual#aromantic#aroace#ace pride#leaf art#im so excited for this ^^#i really wanna participate in more fandom stuff
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INTEREST CHECK
By "Sonic AU poll tournament" I mean a competition where people submit their fan made AU versions of Sonic and everyone votes for their favorite! (JUST Sonic for now, possibly other characters in the future if I decide to keep going).
There'll be a single bracket of 32 total contestants for five rounds. Each round would run for a week. The bracket would look something like this:
AU Sonics would be submitted through a Google Form, with an image of them and some basic info like story, personality, name and pronouns (if they're different from canon), basically what makes them unique from canon and therefore an AU.
There'd be some basic rules, of course- no nsfw, no making fun of other AU Sonics or bullying/harassing the creators, etc etc. This whole thing is for fun and to appreciate the creativity in AUs! Gotta play nice so everybody has fun y'know?
See you in a week :]
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sonic au#fandom polls#tournament poll#polls#hope that's enough tags#i really want ppl to see this#if i'm gonna do this i gotta know if ppl will actually. y'know. participate#but i really really really wanna do it. i like sonic aus :]#i may or may not submit one of my own for this if i do it#this is an excuse for ppl to talk abt their aus. but also i want to be fair y'know#idk if one of the aus being mine will affect the competition significantly but still#i'll decide when the interest check is done#anyways pls reblog so we get more ppl in :]
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shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name
#bruh lmao#so awkward. say something you dingus lol#ik you wanna talk 2 me so bite the bullet already#gyatt#spacie spoinks#literally. she was having a conversation with my partner for the project im doing. and like#heres the thing#if im not invited into conversation i usually dont participate#im like a vampire like that#and so like. after they're done conversating she'll just kind of. stand there. this has happened twice now#like dude sdkfjshlkdfj#im not upset by this behavior i have very awful social patterns as well and have been thru this (i am autistic)#am i gonna hafta say something. lol#probably#''hey bro whats up with you. i dont mean like how are you doing. i mean like. whats wrong with you.''#cant say that its not funny when you say it irl only when the ppl you're talking with know you're not being mean 😭#also like. this person has been staring at me lol#which like. makes me flustered so whenever she's around i panic and my face fucking turns red its god awful#for awhile it made uhh. my paranoia get really bad im ngl!!#its already bad when it comes 2 being around strangers but this like made it REALLY bad for a few weeks#im more calm now tho. rational brain won over and im chillin#i gotta work up the courage 2 say something b4 the semester is over or this is gonna bother me for the rest of my life sfkjsdhflkjs#i dont wanna put her on the spot#the only time i see her is when im in class#and . doing that interaction in front of ppl. i dont wanna embarrass her ksjfskjd
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love my bad mental health, love being suicidal all the time
#abc shut it#im tired of fighting it and trying to participate in life when it feels like i dont exist#love being lonely and then being told its due to my bad mental health so i pretend it doesnt affect me and i try and be myself#and no one likes me and i dont exist unless i remind people im a person so its kinda like#at a point where its not just suicidal ideation#its just a situation of /when/ and not if haha#ive been alive for 26 years and 20 of those have been exhausting as hell im ready to be done#exhausting and lonely and isolating im sick of it#i try and i try and my life doesnt get better or anymore worth living#and when i vent abt it i get told i need to try harder and im not trying at all and i need to stop being so depressed#its hard to not be depressed when the universe gives everyone around me a better experiences than me#i feel like im screaming that im here please pay attention#and nothing#i talk and my voice gets ignored or i get talked over#i post online to try and start conversations or make friends and i just get ignored#like do i exist at all to anyone else but myself#im trying to reach out and make friends but none of the ppl i wanna make friends with seem interested in having a conversation with me#i add all these people to discord and message them all the time#but nothing gets passed me sending them messages no one ever fucking messages me first#it feels like no one thinks about me and i dont matter#literally no one gives a fuck what i have to say#or anytime i talked im corrected on SOMETHING i say or i get a belittled in response#i cant do this shit anymore i cant#no one gives a shit about what i have to say and its really coming across that no one likes me#bc if my friends cant text me first or respond to my messages at all#why am i in the wrong feeling like im alone and have no friends when im the only one reaching out ever if i wanna have a conversation#and when i do feel like im allowed to talk i just talk and talk and talk and know the people dont give a shit abt what i have to say#i jsut feel like im here to be talked at and do things for other people and nothing more#that whenever i have an emotion its wrong and i need to bottle it up#and i dont eve get a chance to learn how to manage my emotions bc it feels like im going to get scolded or belittled for feeling things
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I know this can be contentious (and even just mentioning this kind of analysis as a serious one makes a lot of people who don't understand what literary analysis is very angry) but I actually think it's pretty cool that people can draw both transfeminine and transmasculine reads of Jesse from hit TV show Jesse out of the text of the show. Something something shared experiences something something solidarity. You get the idea
#i've done the Analysis(tm) i'm smart i know how to read. i think a trans read goes 'in all directions' as they say#idk i Barely participate in any discussion abt the show on here bc i haven't finished it yet#but just like most instances of interpretive lgbt analysis i think neither is the more objectively 'correct read'#bc that's not really how literary analysis works oops#open mick night#breaking bad#jesse pinkman#i could also post at length abt how transgender reads of 'prestige television' or 'classic literature'#are disregarded and treated as like 'stupid online teenager fandom nonsense'#but like it's a genuine analytical lens that can be applied to characters and stories even if 'that's not what the author intended'#but i don't wanna talk abt that rn. i wanna talk abt achy breaky bad and i've expounded most of my funny thoughts#so i'm testing out smart ones#don't worry i think abt other characters TOO. i'll get to it i wanna space em out
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y'all in the past week i've finished song of achilles, watched stray kids chkchk boom music video and binged s3 of sweet home and i have SO MANY thoughts spiraling in my head
#stray kids#chkchkboom#stay#stray kids comeback#stray kids ate#song of achilles#book life#bookworm#booklr#madeline miller#sweet home#sweet home season 3#song kang#cha hyunsu#lee eun hyuk#lee eun yu#i still gotta listen to the whole skz album but im sure ill have more thoughts after that#i havent participated in a comeback in a while#and im so excited theyre gonna tour again#i really wanna do a book review for song of achilles but because it took me so long to finish i dont think itd be good#like ive definitely forgotten a lot#i might be able to do a mini one#also i have maaaany thoughts about sweet home s3#many you might not think#so please ask me about it
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i'm feeling so blessed in this hybrid oden tonight....
putting this under the cut bc i'm gonna get a lil mushy for a second. i really wanna say thank you so much to everyone who drew kuroba for artfight!! sometimes, it feels like i can't properly put how grateful i am or how much i love every peice of art i've received into words, but knowing that people like my silly little oc really means the world to me and makes me so happy. everyone drew them so beautifully, getting to see them in everyone's style made me so freaking giddy!!
this last month was kinda rough on me since i finally caught covid after successfully avoiding it for 4 years, but all of the kindness everyone has shown me ( on af and on here ) really helped keep my spirits up. so uh. thank you again for all of that, it really means a lot!! 🥺✨️
#i'm so sad artfight's over it was so much fun#i really wish irl stuff didn't get in the way for me during it i wanted to draw so much more!! 😭#there's a revenge i didn't get to finish & i wanna do some more so i'll probably still work on them even though it's off season now#i'm excited for next year i hope i'll be able to participate!!#OH i also still need to post the art i did for larry and kailee. i'll do that in a sec!#mj rambles
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Ooo, ooo.
So, since Eeta is in S40 (secret double agent!!), how would Toki - Macbeth - Lilith and possibly Inna think of her?? :3
hmmmmm
I don’t think Inna would ever realize that she’s a double agent unless Eeta like just straight up told him. I think Inna would be really drawn to Eeta, like really wanting to connect with her, but he doesn’t know why. Maybe he’d view Eeta as an older sister.
Inna: you look so much like me, like an older version of me
Eeta: really? (ONG HE FOUND OUT HE KNOWS IM HIS MOTHER)
Inna: your like my older sister :D!!!
Eeta: ah… yes
Meanwhile Macbeth would immediately be able to tell that there’s something off about Eeta. He wouldn’t know she’s a double agent but he wouldn’t be surprised, he just knows she’s hiding something, especially about Inna. He doesn’t know that Eeta is Inna’s mother, but he would instead think the worst, that maybe she’s someone sent in to hurt Inna or smth.
Macbeth just would not like her and try to make sure Inna stays away from her.
I can’t really think of a situation where Lilith would meet Eeta, but maybe she visits Inna at Alien Stage during s40 and thats when she meets Eeta. Lilith would most likely just see her and be intrigued immediately. Eeta is so similar to Inna that Lilith just has to know why.
In fact Lilith would be the only one to figure it out by herself, to which I think Lilith would begin visiting Eeta more often dressed as Eve just to see what Eeta would do.
I can’t say for Toki, but i’m curious to what @zerostyrant would have to say on this :D
#alien stage#alnst#alien stage oc#alien stage ocs#alien stage oc: innamorati#alien stage oc: macbeth#alien stage oc: toki#alien stage oc: lilith#alien stage oc: eeta#dont let lilith realize who eeta is shes going to be horrible about it#i imagine maybe a scene that plays out similar to ameytjsr and greg in su#where she like mimics rose and torments greg#see cause lilith is just really fucked up and ill explain more but thays my thoughts on it!!#i also do wanna mention i think inna learning eeta was his mother would change him depending on when he learns#early anakt? hed be estastic and want to know more about eeta and eve#late anakt or alnst? i think it would further ruin him#like by that time he has alreadu realized everyone he loves will moet likely die and now his mom is also here?#he just hopes she doesnt have to audition or participate
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other people : it's just an ask game, for fun!
me, passionately explaining why I chose a name :
#delete later#thanks for everyone who participated! I really enjoyed it#ofc if more people wanna send it feel free#personal#im supposed to just give a name not write a dissertation haha#i hope it's not too cringy 🤭🤭🤭
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i posted that stupid shit on my instagram i might just kill myself fr
now im afraid i wont sleep for another 24 hours damn 😭😭
#took me like 50 hours but we did it 🔫😼#i might still delete jt#the anxiety is no joke#like no joke#ahahs7bsudbdus#im so tired man#so like fuck me.but i cant justify killing myseld before trying. after that i can. somehow. Im tired and i want nothing more than that but#maybe i just want to stop the pain. nevertheless#i hope someone anyone who sees. that even if im being too open or too vulnerable online i hope it inspires someone a little bit to do the#same. i hope the reactions wont be too harsh. just dont ask me abt it irl cuz ill cry.#fuck mental illness and traumas man. acchan i hope it wasnt so suffocating for u. at least hopefully the people who loved u could make it#better.#tbh now my anxiety ia better cuz nobody is awake xddd#whatever its not that serious. only for me ig#sorry ppl the mental illness really said emphasis on the illness these past 2 days. i didnt think id live it so badly but here we are. well#i hope with this i managed to get something heavy off my chest. i hope i can continue for just a little longer#to see if it's worth it. i dont even wanna think abt tge fact imma have prom on sunday. why is that im always most suicidal when i have to#graduate? i skipped elementary graduation cuz of it. im not skipping this one but im not participating in the dance cuz i knew id somehow b#at a bad place and i wouldnt have a partner also. hmm whatever. i should sleep now maybe. i feel good now a bit. really have to sigh get my#shit together now.#not sunday friday the 50 hours no sleep getting to me
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why do so many people think it's funny to push past someone else's boundaries and making them uncomfortable
#like ive had to deal with it for as long as i can remember#you dont like being picked up? oh ok im gonna pick you up and throw you around youll like that right#you dont like to be touched unexpectedly? oh ok im gonna sneak around and touch you without you knowing and scare you and laugh about it#you dont wanna participate in this activity bc its overwhelming and makes you wanna peel your skin off?#oh ok we are gonna laugh at you and pressure you into it and then laugh some more as you clearly struggle#what the fuck is up with this shit really#i am so so so so tired#ry rambles
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“handwaving genuine, good-hearted concrit, to refusing to even engage in the conversation at all, to constant changes that make the event less fun for a huge chunk of us”
Do you mind if I ask more about this? I’ve also participated in sicktember (casually) and I haven’t really noticed anything that fit this, so I just wanted to ask more about your experiences if you were comfortable elaborating. I’m mostly curious what changes were made that made the event less fun (other than delay in prompts released I heard about that)
yeah sure! right off the bat i wanna say that this is not something i was like. PISSED OFF or intending to start any drama about, just some stuff that made the event less enjoyable for me.
i also wanna say that you haven't noticed it because sicktember is very very careful to not publish anything that makes them look bad. they do not engage with any of their replies or asks unless they can spin it in a very sanitized, pr-friendly manner. try creeping through the tags and replies on some of their posts, and while a lot of shit is deleted or lost, you can still see traces of it, some of which i will link to here.
the prompts becoming more delayed. i wasn't here in 2021 (when they dropped in early march), but in 2022 they dropped in mid may. that was awesome because it gave us all lots of time to prep--my favourite thing about sicktember is how accessible of a prompt event it is! the prompts don't all drop like a week before the event starts, you have all summer to write so if you have a full time job or responsibilities you can still participate. this year they made it very clear the prompts were ready to go in may but didn't drop them until mid-june.
when people started sending asks about this, they responded thusly. they maintain this weird kinda... pr-friendly, stepford smiley vibe whenever anyone tries to open a dialogue with them? and it just comes across as so dismissive of anyone trying to make genuine points.
here they say that "many things go into planning prompts" but don't elaborate on that at all. for context, the night before this ask, they had made it clear that the prompts were all ready to go. the hand-waving comes in the form of all the "suggestions" they offer here--"well, you don't have to do every prompt!" (but i want to. it's fun. it feels good. and that's what i've done in the past) "you can write after september!" (i did that last year. it was kind of miserable. i like posting with everyone, it feels like a big celebration!) "we give you like 100 days!" (that's cool. but you could give us more at no detriment to yourself. a lot of us didn't make the deadline last year.)
check the notes on this post and you'll see several disappointed contributors/fans who are trying to open a dialogue with the event runners, all of whom were ignored. several people have reached out to me saying that their asks about this were ignored.
2. last year, they said they would only be accepting fills on the sicktember blog through submissions, and only posting 10 random ones a day. in the past, sicktember has reblogged every single fill directly from the writers.
here's why this is shitty:
when you submit something to a blog, the blog owner then becomes the one who effectively "owns" its engagement. that means any notes, reblogs, comments, follows, etc. all go to sicktember. they do not go to the person who MADE THE STORY. if you, the author, want to see what people are saying about your work, you have to pull up the sicktember window and obsessively check it. if you want to respond to any comments, you give sicktember more notes.
this is just more work, especially if you still want those notes. you would then have to make TWO posts, one on your personal blog and one on sicktember's. and people are probably disinclined to reblog a story twice. it is not exposure or engagement to do this, it actively robs authors of engagement.
sicktember might not even post your fill. they pick ten random ones a day. this is because...
they literally admitted that they lose followers when they reblog every fill. they said aloud that it is all about engagement for them. maintaining followers means more to them than highlighting the contributions of all the people who are making their event what it is. they are quite literally trying to maximize followers and stealing engagement from their contributors. it's kind of fucking insidious.
the only valid point here is the thing about reducing mod workload. still, they could've just... opened apps for another mod? inquired for some extra help? lord knows i would've jumped at the opportunity to curate! i'm sure others would've too.
contrast this to whumptober, who religiously reblog every single fill despite being a much longer running event than sicktember.
this is why i started @sicktemberfeed. with permission, but the mods were even weird about THAT... i asked if it would be ok to make, and they said "well, it's not like we could stop you." weird fucking answer. it's fine to say no.
3. i didn't speak out about point 2, but did speak out a little bit on this blog about point 1. @yes-i-am-happyaspie's husband (@spaceninjas42) dug through my blog, somehow found my untagged critique (it was not vitriolic or cruel, just a plea for an open discussion) and started getting on my case for talking about it on my personal blog. there was a second, much more vitriolic reply that he left but i was a dingus and blocked him as soon as i saw it, which means it's now marked deleted and i have no way of getting it back or proving it. that's kind of a "just trust me bro" situation.
4. the prompts this year were not very good. that is a purely subjective opinion i have, but a lot of us agree that they really stray from the concept of sickfic. we have a lot of heavier whump events floating around and the appeal of sicktember is that it is for fluffier, more low stakes stuff. seeing "cardiac arrest" and "anaphylaxis" and "medieval treatment" on there had me and a lot of others scratching our heads. their response to this is always "just sub it out!" but when we start running out of alt prompts because so many of the main ones are not what the audience is vibing with... there is room for critique there. there is room for a discussion.
i can't stress enough that the problem isn't necessarily these changes--they are not dealbreakers! the problem was sicktember's attitude. every single time anyone in the community tried to say 'hey, i think this idea could use work/tweaking' the response was basically just, again, the happy-go-lucky stepford smiler pr voice "we'd like to remind you that blah blah blah! happy writing, authors!" and absolute refusal to talk to their community at all. as i've said many times, this is not a dichotomy--where one side is "we fold to any criticism! our fans control us!" and the other side is "you're not entitled to anything! we run this event for free despite our busy lives!" like you can very much find a happy medium there but they just. do not.
none of that is a deal breaker, genuinely. i was still planning on participating up until the very end, and i obviously am now.
what was a deal breaker was them posting harry potter shit.
#wendy answers#Anonymous#also this is petty but they used an ace attorney gif in their hype post this year#which feels particularly pointed idk maybe im just self centered#but ace attorney has previously been the top fandom in their official collection#because of ME AND MY FRIENDS.#my discord server wrote 92 FUCKING ACE ATTORNEY FICS IN 2022 ALONE#which is almost more than DOUBLE the second most prominent fandom after it#in 2023 i wrote THIRTY of the 35 AA works#all this to say me and my friends#are pretty much the sole peddlers of ace attorney sicktember fics#and so them using that fucking gif of pearl fey after they BLOCKED ME#feels fucking High School as shit.#and again i wanna stress: THEY BLOCKED ME.#WITHOUT EVEN TALKING TO ME.#THEY DID NOT TELL ME WHY I WAS BLOCKED#THEY DID NOT EXPLAIN ANYTHING#AND I DIDN'T SEND THEM ASKS OR REALLY DO ANYTHING BESIDES OCCASIONALLY REPLY IN THEIR POSTS#AND I WAS ALWAYS CIVIL AND COMPASSIONATE AND TRIED MY BEST TO BE UNDERSTANDING#EVEN WHEN I DISAGREED#I WAS FRIENDLY AS CAN BE. AND THEY BLOCKED ME. PRESUMABLY BECAUSE THEY DUG THROUGH THIS BLOG#AND FOUND ME BEING A LITTLE MORE BITCHY BUT STILL WITH FULL INTENT TO PARTICIPATE AND SUPPORT THEM#like dude. man. cmon. dude.#anyways i AM tagging this one because since they blocked me i guess they've already decided i am#some antagonist#sicktember
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