#I really do not feel like existing today
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carnage-cathedral · 1 year ago
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nice that was a cool nap now I wanna go back to sleep
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dreamyblanket · 15 days ago
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Yearning from the nothing dimension [rambling in tags ^^]
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panstarry · 11 months ago
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my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟
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xxplastic-cubexx · 3 months ago
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If you were to like redesign Magneto's classic outfit in a way that both suits the character and your own tastes, how would you redesign it?
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uhhhh errrmmmmm i dont know i really couldnt improve upon perfection but i have still tried for you my friend !!!
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#erik magnus lensherr#like ig fc erik there too but only if you squint Generally Speaking this aint about him#snap sketches#i thought this was gonna be a quick thing but then As I Do i sat and thought about it for too long#and for what. my end result isn't that different from the beginning !! tragic .#out of these i think. it MAY be obvious i like the far right one#once i remembered I Do In Fact love megaman i locked in cause everytime i draw Classic Magneto all i think of is megaman#cant even make a magnetman joke that mfer already exists and he from my FAVORITE classic megaman title tyvm#anyway. should i explain my reasoning now. man i guess i can try#i couldnt tho is the thing- at least for the first set i really was just ickin around and seeing what i Might like#evidently it was nothing LMAO i told yall i cant improve perfection ... so i just. Smash Bros'd his classic look#With some tearing on the cape cause i said so ............#at most- with the furthermost right bit- i just wanted to emphasize a feeling of 'power' hence the chunkier boots + gloves#with the first look i tried that angle with showing some arm skin buuuuttt i dont like it ...#i think the sleeveless look really only works if the outfit's black idk i cant explain it#overall the first design i tried just feels too sleek for my liking if i wanted to go for a 'power' approach#i like the 'M' i did with the legs at least. i really wanted to incorporate an M in case it wasnt clear but alas ...#tbh i might steal the boots/gloves/underwear design from myself when i draw classic magneto regularly. SHRUG we'll see#as for now i am very sleepy and i have class in the morning and i want to do some work Before Class#very cool but very sad i dont have my third class today :( its my fave class :( at least i get more time to work#and the more work i get done the more time i get to draw the sillies !!! epic ...#anyways. good night everyone !!!!!!! talk to yall tomorrow ..... probably ... or later ig technically... i should sleep earlier <- wont
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ricky-mortis · 8 months ago
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Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending
#I like to believe that there is a universe where they get to grow old together#just one#look once upon a time I read a fic that had me bawling my fuckin eyes out where they get to grow old together#I do want to say that I believe in personal growth and I think that Curt can 100% have a happy ending without Owen- where he can grow#away from that experience and where he can healthily cope with the trauma he ended up with#where he can find solace in something other than alcohol and where he can find it in himself to forge new relationships and build his#connections with people like Tatiana#etc etc#I just want to make it known that this is one of many happy endings that could happen#(amongst the several sad ones that I know also exist)#ALSO I wanted to draw the old men and I do what I want#but yeah something something if the universe is infinite /ref#maybe this is a universe where the banana incident never happened and they were able to retire together#ough#the curtwen feels are really getting me today#I adore them#also I used a new brush ive been having fun with this past week#doesn’t it look cool?#I really like drawing with it and I like how it looks so#we might be seeing more of this one in the future#although 6b is still my guy#damn y’know hypothetically- if Owen (depending on the au) and Curt lived to be in their 60s (at least) they would witness the first Pride#god can you imagine that?#At the very least Curt being around for stonewall and everything that came after that with queer rights#FUCK anyways#fun fact: a group of frogs is called an army#isn’t that cute#reminds me of that one person on TikTok that raised like a thousand frogs- they had a literal army of frogs#crazy#curtwen week
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 2 months ago
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softhairedhotch · 1 year ago
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aaron feels so, so real to me... like, maybe i'm just delusional and silly but when i imagine scenarios, i can see him so perfectly and i really do feel like he's here with me. i can imagine being with him in almost every scenario and even when i'm thinking of something else, it feels like he's always beside me. maybe i'm a lil crazy, maybe i'm a lil cuckoo, but one thing i know for sure is that aaron hotchner makes me so inexplicably happy and i am so glad i found him. hopefully in another universe i truly do have him by my side <3
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brick-van-dyke · 3 months ago
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If there's one thing I've respectively noticed from Zionists and defenders of Israeli war crimes, it's that every source, argument and potential avenue to explore each explanation is riddled with cherry picking, moving the goalposts and mental gymnastics to explain why their conclusions, which typically are barely even related to the sources they use, somehow overshadow literal reality and what we see with our own eyes.
While scrolling, one example I came across was the repetitive misrepresentation of BLM, antifa and quotes from Martin Luther King Jr, as well as statistics, scholarly journal articles and government website information. These are all good sources, yet every single time they're mangled completely until the only possible "interpretation" of any of them is "well Israel is right to defend itself after shorting rockets beforehand because the retaliation was brutal and all Arabs are bad by default therefore". As if any of these sources are even about individual exceptions of Israel versus hatred towards Arabs.
I think what I find most absurd, as someone in the middle of their own studies, is how every bit of critical thinking and logic goes out the window as they do every single thing possible to do what professors worldwide say NOT to do when evaluating sources. It's like watching a race to see who can tangle and misconstrue scientific information to fit their world view the fastest. Then said people say "um actually I studied at university before so it's actually not wrong that I'm doing this exact this everyone is warned not to do because I have a permit". Ignorance I can forgive, but willful and arrogant manipulation? That's another thing entirely.
#zionism#my gods y'all need to get a grip and start remembering that confirmation bias exists#and y'all use sources continually in this way while just generally having so much bs of presenting How To Not Use My Own Sources#or actually to be more correct you clearly do know you just choose not to because you'd rather be justified in resource theft and profit#Like the while tome it's been about either material gain or feeling good about yourself while you shit on strangers#and then I also see y'all make other accounts ro harass random Arabs for fun and random queers who aren't even related like#the fuck is wrong with y'all go sit down and think about why you all do this pointless bs#it's such a waste of your own life spending it looking for fights to help with your bottomless insecurities#Israel#fuck israel#long live palestine#like you can say hamas was bad all you like it doesn't actually change the situation and what y'all have been doing for 76 years#and actually longer but y'all arent ready for that conversation and how Zionists butchered Jews and helped Nazi Germany historically#like sorry that Was a thing that happened and if you want to label yourselves as The Sacred Protectors of Jews then you have to face that#Pretending history didn't happen isn't helpful to anyone including yourselves y'all just making Zionism look even worse and like idiocy#I mean it is but you all aren't helping yourselves by being literal holocaust deniers#and being like “but Zionists saved Jews afterwards” as if that somehow erases the fact they ALSO helped the Nazis#like history is full of contradictory bullshit so when you say “but what about this” you know that doesn't erase the other things right??#“That's worse. You DO see how that's worse right?”#I'm shaking you all and yelling this like it is WORSE that they killed Jews and then started playing the saviour and fellow victims#You do see how that is really bad for Jews today to be in a place created for political power plays and material gain through any means#like you see how that could be REALLY dangerous for Jews if they're that expendable to Zionist entities and the government#and you do realise that is literally what we are seeing from the actions of said government#and how they acting sadly very predictablely when you consider the historical contexts for its existence?#People who research this shit aren't surprised because it happens every single year and has been happening for centuries -#- before Israel the holocaust etc. It's been like this for as long as political Zionism and the French Revolution#It's been going on since pre Marxism and pre a lot of differing things but y'all pretend Zionists haven't ever harmed Jews ever when -#- there's a long history of internal conflict and in fighting that formed modern Zionism and plenty of internalised antisemetism within it#Yeah there's a genuine desire for return to the land (Not Own It just return and live peacefully)#but that is very very different to Political Zionism that formed as a socialist nationalist movement
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moeblob · 8 months ago
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Amazing, take some of the side character demons from Evil Bound.
Vincie is a menace to Chuck and Chuck alone so in Hell, Chuck hexes his hand behind his back so that he isn't grabbed as much (and it's harder to pet him). Chuck is like the most irresponsible older sibling ever to demons though so Kelvin recruits him (as an older sibling vibe) to go help him get his ACTUAL older sibling from Earth. Chuck agrees. And then drags Vincie from Hell with them because no one else wants to babysit him and he refuses to unbind the hex just to re-hex when he returns to Hell.
In Hell, Kelvin actually doesn't appear much different than his human form! Like Kronos, the lines under his eyes are red in Hell but black on earth. Chuck however? In Hell he has wolf-ish ears and has a fur lining his neck (note the neck scars in human form). In addition to that he has four eyes in Hell (note the scars under his eyes in human form). Vincie just has horns in Hell. And! In Hell the hex doesn't have a silly looking "tied up" look, it's invisible unless Vincie strains it with movement and then its red text. But it shifts on earth to be visible.
Vincie's biggest agony for the entirety on earth is "dude it's colder here than in Hell I want a jacket to slip my arms into BUT I CANT BECAUSE IM BOUND".
#my characters#amazing show stopping rng wheel thanks#i have my oc plots on a wheel - thats 80 different options! wow! - and spun it#i spun twice and the first time it was the bodyguard plot that i drew a few days ago#the second time was evil bound#i genuinely think it new its a bad day and im not doing well so it took it easy on me with things id done recently#anyway ive never colored kelvin before which i realized today#i only have pencil art of him#also fun fact about their lil earth adventures#they fucking fail horrifically the first time they go and kronos doesnt go back#then they go back to try and get him to forcefully bring him back and theeeeen shit hits the fan#and so vincie is vibing with tolliver since hes basically useless without hands and then oops!#no more hex! and so he starts to get really super scared and tolliver is like uh isnt that a good thing your hands are free now#and vincie is horrified because the only way to break a hex from a distance is if the caster is near dead or dead#and if thats the case chuck is probably dead and that means what if kronos and kelvin are dead#how is he gonna get back to hell alone and is HE going to get punished for it#but then kronos and kelvin show up and take vincie back to hell with the not breathing chuck#but its fine in the end bc the succubi bring him back to ... life ? question mark? anyway hes revived#but vincie does have a part where hes just crying in tollivers apartment bc he thinks hes gonna be punished#for not helping the other demons and then they died#but chuck dying is basically why kronos goes back to hell - he feels responsible (hes at fault so good for him to own up)#vincie is one of the very few demons who doesnt have dark sclera#chuck vincie and kronos all have black sclera while the succubi have gray#i dont think there was ever a reason for it tbh i should make up a reason#time to go lie down and not exist the rest of the night if i can avoid it
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tj-crochets · 24 days ago
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Still no craft updates on account of I feel Bad* but I did get like half a beanie crocheted this weekend? I also have a bat that's haunting me. In that there's a bat design I desperately want to turn into a plushie not in that I am being literally haunted by a bat. As far as I know I am not haunted by a bat but to be fair I'm not confident I'd know? *my heart rate got high enough that made me cough but my asthma was flaring up enough that cough launched me into an asthma attack, which raised my heart rate even more, so basically I used my emergency inhaler and then was on the floor for a while. Feels bad! Do not recommend. I'm okay though just tired
#the person behind the yarn#the reason my heart rate got that high is that my pulse pressure was very narrow#which is. you know. bad.#so I finally gave in and took an extra dose of my meds (as my doctor has advised in the past)#what is probably happening is that I reached the point of stressed where my body couldn't cope#(I'm on long term steroids so I need stress doses if I get too stressed)#but! because acute stress can trigger an allergic reaction (yay MCAS) I tend to kinda...shunt stress off to the side#and come back to process it when it's less like. urgent? immediate?#when it no longer feels like it will trigger an MCAS flareup if I acknowledge the feeling exists#and I do go back and process those emotions! I just have to get a little distance first#and the work stress lately has been so unrelenting (combined with the like...general world news stress)#that I have been ignoring my own stress levels so hard I genuinely did not think I was stressed#or that I needed a stress dose of my meds but uh. I was wrong!#I was wrong. Good news is now that I know I should be good in a day or two#doc said three days for stress doses and today was day one#bad news is narrow pulse pressure combined with asthma attack feels Very Bad!#very bad indeed took me like 20-30 minutes and two different kinds of medication before I could talk normally#without having to pause and catch my breath midsentence#every time I start thinking 'you know maybe I'm not really disabled maybe my health stuff is under control'#it pops up like a jack in the box like surprise! it's the same thing again still here! the meds just hide it most of the time#but it's still there :) lurking :) when I least expect it :)#...I think I might buy myself another sticker or two. something to look forward to coming in the mail
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thr4shit · 15 days ago
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Do you ever start wondering if you are actually conscious
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theflyingfeeling · 10 months ago
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...😭
#i've never had a job in my own field that i've liked as much as i've liked my current one#the semester is ending soon and today i heard my contract will not be renewed bc the person i'm substituting will return to work after all#i've been feeling so tired and a bit poorly after the nokia arena show and i probably should have called in sick today#as i was absolutely useless today#and then after my only class today my students came to me with a gift?? 😭#a pink enamel moomin mug and some chocolate and a paper on which they had written nice things about me + a drawing of a dachshund 😭#and i burst to tears right there in front of them because i was so touched (and also because i'm just really really tired and emotional)#i'm so tired about having to apply for new jobs and having to start all over again#i'm so tired of having to do shitty short-notice substitutions again#i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it#i'm dreading the summer because idk if i'll have a job to go to in the autumn#and even if i did find something it won't be like the job i have now#also. it's may day eve and the weather's lovely#and i'm hiding in my apartment with the curtains closed so i won't see all the people going out and having fun with their friends#for me may day eve has never been like that. i've always felt so very excluded from those celebrations#on top of that i got yelled at by a bus driver and i'm the worst friend that ever existed#i'm trying to quit on whining about my sad little life but it gets so lonely#please know i'm not writing this for attention or pity. i know y'all have problems of your own and i'm just being a dramatic crybaby
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itwoodbeprefect · 3 months ago
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happy 1 year anniversary to the election results that were so fucked they had me trying to take my mind off of things by watching what seemed like a toxic chinese queerbait show only to find something far more thoughtful and genuinely queer and interesting than expected and end up watching a bunch more unrelated things that are talked about in vaguely the same realms of the internet and then watch bad buddy twice in a row and fall into an endless bingewatch of thai media (some of which is mediocre, some of which is bad, much of which is simply pretty good, and some of which is genuinely incredible) and go, well, it would be a waste of all this language input i'm accidentally giving myself right now if i didn't at least learn a few words. thus accidentally locking myself into watching even more thai media because now i gain serotonin from hearing a sentence i know i could write
#this is about the dutch general elections of 2023. i know another election is probably still on most people's minds#it feels WILD that it's only been a year. and at the same time. the government they eventually formed based on those votes#is still hanging in there. and it feels like THAT's been going on for way longer than a year#*#ah well in happier news! i think it's the way part of me is forever roaming the internet in 2011#but even when a BL (or GL! which is finally picking up!) series is bad. or just boring.#there is something in me that can't help but go !! oh my god? there's a hundred of these out there??#and we can argue definitions and representation and fetishization. but there are So Many queer people working on them these days#and not all but many of these stories are insightful and kind and clever and have a very queer beating heart inside of them#(and there's also something to be said for queer trash tv. that has a place! but i won't get into it)#and this is really truly only a thing of the past few years!!! this did not exist when i was a teen!!!#i'm still so young but i'm EASILY old enough to remember that. and now All Of That is just out there. often on youtube for free#if you are a teen TODAY you don't need to pick between settling for watching tara die on btvs. watching ianto die on torchwood#or watching queer as folk. which is not a knock on qaf but it's not necessarily tv for teens#instead there's like. dozens of queer people on modern western tv! there are ever more queer movies where nobody dies!#and there's just a goddamn fucking impossible-to-watch-in-one-lifetime amount of guaranteed happy end BL series out there#and it's insane!!! that is insane to me!!!#and is also maybe a good thing to remember in current times. things can and do change for the better#sometimes in ways you might not expect. sometimes you might not even know it's happening. but it does
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autisticlee · 7 months ago
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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superbellsubways · 1 year ago
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im gonna be honest gang ive been feeling more and more hopeless as of late and seeing everything thats going on both online and in the real world im just like. wow the misery never fucking ends!!!! we live in an actual hell world and its exhausting!! fuck
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darkacademiaarchivist · 10 months ago
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THE FUCKING. NEW NIGHT VALE EPISODE????!!!! HELLO I AM DEEPLY UNWELL????
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