#I read this earlier today but i literally haven’t had a moment to myself all day since 10am
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oooohno · 4 months ago
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Circling back to this official art by Satoru. I was thinking about how Kiryu tries to snap selfies with him and he’s always struggling away and never looking towards the camera, even at social gatherings he’s the one that’s blurry or out of focus because it’s so clear he does not want his photo taken.
Until you ask him so sweetly to take a selfie with you at a social gathering one weekend and he literally can’t bring himself to tell you no, because he wants to take a selfie with you too. So he’s bending down to get into frame and you’re shuffling closer to him until his head is pressed against yours as he’s fighting the blush that crosses his cheeks as he tries to remember to breathe. Softening his face as he stares into the camera and you take the photo.
Kiryu is in the background complaining that Sugishita never takes selfies with him *pout pout pout*
And when you ask him if he’d like you to send a copy to him he surprises you by agreeing (and if anyone could ever get a glimpse of his phone screen that photo is now his wallpaper)
But also the idea that he will use the picture of you and him as his wallpaper makes me SO emotional and soft 😭 PLS he’s almost like a changed man around you! Just a lot more mellow and actually engaged in what’s going on. Also Ume catches him one day staring at his wallpaper and he can’t resist asking ‘you really like her, don’t you?’ & sugishita doesn’t even contemplate his answer, eyes still focused on your pretty features, and he just gives a firm nod confirming his feelings for you 🥺
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shortstorygirl · 2 years ago
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PROMPT: you and harry have been friends for a good while now and it led to you being the photographer for this Harrys House world tour, around four months ago you realized your friendly feelings for harry aren’t so friendly but you’ve refused to tell him out of terror it’ll ruin your friendship but then it just slips out…
The entire arena was electric as the first half of the concert came to an end but the one thing that wasn’t ending was the pure adrenaline coursing through every single collective vein in this facility, he ended the words to late night talking and he took off for the underbelly of the stage where i was waiting with my camera, i decided to dress in overalls today much like the band but mine were regular with the straps and black in color with green adidas gazelles that harry gifted me for my birthday last month (he even got a little camera embroidered on the side) so i could move around the stage and barricade sides more discreetly and not distract from the show even though lets be real when Harry is on that stage there is no way in hell i could be a distraction. His mere presence demands total concentration wether you like it or not, he’s that… addictive. I tore my ponytail out of my hair because between the music, the screaming and this awful elastic i feared i was getting a headache. As my hair fell loosely around my shoulders and down my back in the leftover curls from earlier the music stopped and i got ready for the storm that is the band to blow through. First came in Sarah and we high-fived as she ran to the water station then came in everyone else in a blur as i got my camera out to prepare for harry, he came in not a moment later dressed in double denim, his vest with stars embellished on it opened showing off his chest full of sweat from prancing around the stage half the night. I swear I couldn’t breath. He pulled me into a sweaty side hug, an absolutely massive grin plastered clean across his face. I jokingly pushed him off followed by a “yuck” coming out of my mouth. He laughed, more like giggled as he purposely wiped sweat onto his hand and onto my shoulder
“Ill show you to push me away love” he pointed at me like i was a child getting scolded and i smiled and rolled my eyes at him
“Cooties harry haven’t you heard of them”
“You know y/n some people would pay big money to have my cooties you should be grateful” he retorted as he spun around and went behind the curtain to use the facilities
I was lucky enough to snag a shot of him mid spin, i’ll keep that for personal potential blackmail use later
Once he returned from behind the curtain he, an almost empty water bottle in hand that he handed off to a stage hand, he looked at me and pointed the camera
“I saw you take that picture, it would be wise of you to remember i have the photo of you getting stuck in the laundry shoot from London” he was quick to remind me as he walked past me jokingly hitting my shoulder as he passed me
“You keep me on my toes y/n and I wouldn’t have it any other way” chirped harry as he stood onto the lift and reached his hand out to mine for our ritual post intermission hand shake with a twist, the twist was that we kissed the inside of our respective hands before shaking a way, as harry says, to ground him before the noise again
“Harrys house” he said to me
“Harrys home” i said back to him
“See you soon” he followed up with a wink as the stage begun to ascend
“Knock em dead, I love you” i said then i felt all the blood rush to my face as he stared at me, eyes wide open and he opened and closed his mouth like a fish and just as i thought he was going to speak he was gone, the stage had took him away.
I was in a stupor, what had i just done, more importantly why had i just done it. Never even in my own head had I ever thought i loved him. Sure it was a no brainer i had feelings but I’d never even realized to myself it was something as serious as love.
I was supposed to be up there taking pictures but I couldn’t move until someone from behind literally pushed me out and into the barricade lines. I looked up and saw him singing sign of the times and he kept looking down, reading signs i I assumed, he always took this time to pick which signs he’d answer to later in between songs. He must’ve been intent on finding a good one because his eyes kept searching the barricade signs until he scanned over the fans by me and his eyes stopped and they locked into my very location. I stood like a deer in headlights as he kept singing and he was staring at me with his eyes scrunched to his nose like was deep in thought, i tore my eyes away and pretended to take a picture of Mitch instead. As the song ended and he began as it was I went into autopilot and my body was dogging him left and right, i made sure we were never face to face or that I was even in his eyesight.
I couldn’t believe i put our entire friendship in jeopardy like that and of course my career but there was always other things to photograph but harry was my favorite, it was like my camera loved him, well I guess more then just my camera.
As soon as he started kiwi I knew he’d be off stage any second so i made myself scarce. I went behind stage to the dressing rooms and hid in the girls. I know for a fact harry leaves the arena directly in a car from stage and goes back to out hotel so i just had to wait until I knew he was back at the hotel and then I’d take a Uber back and miss him completely. I know its childish but if I pretended everything was okay for just a few more hours I’d take it.
As the music ended I could hear the deafening screams from the dressing room, i gave it a few minutes and then tried to order and Uber only to quickly realize there were thousands of fans also trying to get an Uber at this very moment, so i pulled out my phone and checked my maps, only a twenty minute walk from Madison square garden to out hotel. Management liked to put us up a little farther from the venues because they say it’ll be less obvious. I put on my leather jacket I bought when we were in Spain last and began my walk.
Looking at all the city lights gave me time to reflect on how in the hell i landed myself here in this exact moment. It all started a little over three years ago, i was living in London doing photography for marketing companies when i landed myself at the marketing shoot for Gemma Styles eyewear. Gem was well a gem and we immediately hit it off. I became her main photographer for the brand and our friendship started. It was easy being friends with her, our adventures with the company earned us many weekend trips to paris and Amsterdam and so on. About a year into our friendship Gemma invited me to her birthday party at her flat, in true Gemma fashion she simply insisted that I must come she kept saying she’s got a surprise for me.
That was where i met Harry. I’d love to say I’d never forget the moment i first laid eyes on him, but I can’t say that, as i heard him long before I ever saw him. They were dong karaoke on the patio and Harry and Ed Sheeran were singing endless love, Harry being Diana Ross. It was a sound that will live in my ears forever. That night also wasn’t the exact moment me and harry became such great friends, no, that happened over time. My surprise that night was that Ed was going on a small two month tour and was looking for a photographer and Gemma offered me up, she said she knew I could be so much more then just a consumer photographer. So i went, and that’s where I kept running into Harry. In almost every other city we went to he was there and at shows to support his friend and as our circles got smaller our friendship got larger and when he started his tour for Harrys House he invited me aboard. It started out very brother sister type of picking on each other but then it turned into a friendship I’d never had before. I wasn’t exactly the only with a million friends i wanted quality relationships over a massive friend list and the Styles siblings took the cake for my top two but, and i’ll never admit this to Gemma but Harry earned the top spot while on this tour.
From being a listening ear to harry during his publicity relationships with his director to him being a shoulder to cry on during my dads passing. He and Gemma even flew back to London with me for his funeral. Me and harry flew all alone in private so i could cry without prying eyes. He truly was my best friend and now I’ve gone and mucked it up. Somehow in my hazy thoughts i made it back to the hotel in almost a trance, i walked through the lobby and went up to my floor, as I made my way to my room i passed Harrys room. Pausing for only a moment to linger at his door, i was about to knock but i thought better and decided tonight after a concert when he’s got so much else going on is the not the ideal time for me to trip over my words like an idiot in front of him.
I got to my door and swung it open and closed and locked it behind me, i set me camera case on the entryway table and pulled my phone from my pocket. Four missed calls and two texts a “where are you?’ And “are you okay?” From Harry, as i was about to text him back i heard a voice clear and i shrieked and dropped my phone looking up to see harry sitting in my desk chair in my room wearing a pleasing hoodie and black sweats
“I tried calling you” he breathed out almost breathlessly as if he was nervous
“I am sorry i had my phone on silent for the concert- how did you get in here?” I questioned and he stood up walking towards me and i took a step back into the wall and he was now about three feet from me with his hands running through his hair
“The front desk, all the rooms for tour are under my name” he shook his head like he’s getting off topic “was it friendly?” He inquired
I furrowed my eyebrows having absolutely no idea the context of this question “what do you-“
“When you said I love you was it friendly or not?” He pleaded at me taking another step forward, he’s now close enough I can smell the vanilla on him
I felt this was my only moment to save our friendship, this was my way out
“It was friendly of course” i said looking anywhere but at him
He took his hand and ran it from my hand up my arm and to my chin where he lifted me eyes to meet his.
It’s like he knew I would fold the second my eyes locked onto his and his eyes read something different then I’ve ever seen in them before. They were soft and so comforting but there was a need behind them I’d never experienced in Harrys eyes.
“Y/n please don’t lie to me” he softened this time and i felt my bones turn into liquid
I took a deep breath and bit my bottom lip before saying, “i’ll love you in any capacity you’ll let me, but that specific i love you was not one of a friend”
Before I even stopped talking he was grinning like he’d just won the lottery
“That was the answer i was hoping for” and as he spoke he pulled my face to his and our lips met and it wasn’t fireworks or like the earth shaking, it was warm and somehow familiar, it was as if we molded together like a puzzle, it felt like home, Harry’s home.
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daburuwosagase · 2 years ago
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Guess I'll do a year review for the heck of it.
2022 sucked badly for me and for many loved ones (you know who you are). It's been very trying from start to finish. A lot of my coping mechanisms just did not work. There is no silver lining in losing family and friends. There were so many awful circumstances popping up without rest that left me feeling powerless. Dates are arbitrary, but I have been looking forward to the end of the year since March.
In the coming year, I want to get off the internet and go outside, get a job in the field I'm actually trained for, focus on one-on-one relationships, whatever else will make me feel like I'm progressing with my life. I've been very thankful to have physical stability all this year and last. But it's time to get back up.
Recounting all the awful stuff would just be a downer, so I'll list off the positives:
Graduated after six years! Got oodles of qualifications! Sure would be nice if an employer took notice! I worked my butt off to actually get good grades in the last semester and boost my GPA over that 3.5 threshold. I think I'd have been really frustrated if I had ended up at 3.49. So I'm proud of myself for pouring effort into my own future for once.
(Technically) finished up the biggest translation project I've ever done. I'm not taking on that much unpaid solo work ever again. But wow, I think I deserve street cred forever for that one.
Got foot surgery after four years! Now that I'm *literally* back on my feet, it's...
...actually, I'm gonna derail this post and talk candidly about that. I just did my exercises for the night and my legs are feeling great. I bounced up the stairs with a spring in my step earlier today, and moderately quickly at that. I've been able to go on walks around the neighborhood and still have strength after getting back home. I can just STAND. Back in the summer, I couldn't even stand around normally without some pain.
I'm frustrated with myself for not getting help earlier, for always thinking "yeah it was pretty bad last week but it's feeling better, so no need to call the doctor, right?", for taking so long to progress to surgery even when I finally DID see a doctor. It shouldn't have taken four goddamn years when, according to what I'm reading, surgery can be considered after six months for what I had.
If you're reading this right now and you experience chronic pain: please schedule an appointment. Don't wait for the next flareup.
Anyway, it got so bad that I just couldn't walk. The pain wasn't like constantly walking on spikes — it only felt like that for brief moments here and there, as if that's much better. But it WAS constant, and eventually would hurt even when sitting down. And I was wondering if I was going to be stuck in pain for the rest of my life, not able to go anywhere, not able to do anything about it. And I *did* give up on going outside and standing in the kitchen long enough to make a meal.
When the doctor explained surgery as an option to me, it sounded too good to be true. Nothing else had worked, yet this method was supposed to be a total cure? She made it sound pretty damn perfect though. So I scheduled a date, put my life on hold for two months, and actually started to feel hopeful. Only a month left of grinning and bearing it, only a few weeks, a few days...
...and like I thought, something just HAD to go wrong. Just like every other thing this year. One stupid false positive test and eeeverything got rescheduled, and the month-long timer got reset, and I was heartbroken. It hurt so much and I was so scared that it'd happen again.
But as you know, I *did* get the surgery. I was insanely anxious in those last three days beforehand, but by god, afterward, there was NO pain in the places where it'd been constant before. Sure, I could only crawl for two weeks, and I'm still relearning how to walk properly, but holy crap! I can move around! I can stand around aimlessly and it doesn't hurt! I could probably run, though I haven't tried! I managed to walk around for two hours on uneven ground last month and see the sights of a nearby national park, and it was beautiful and unbelievably peaceful and it's a memory I'll treasure for life. We're planning to revisit the same place next month, and while I know it won't be the same as that perfect first time, I'm still so excited for it. I can plan in advance again! I have things to look forward to again! All of this seemed impossible a few months ago!
I'm still holding my breath a little because this year has just burned me over and over again. But the groundwork has been laid for things to get better.
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littlestloves · 1 month ago
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It meant more to me than you know that you were so receptive to what I was saying about the situation with her earlier, and the fact that I saw the change in your behavior with her as a result.
I really enjoy spending my time with you, and hearing all of your stories and perspectives. And the fact that you enjoy mine, too, really means the world to me. I love your eyes and your smile. I love the way you think of me often, and go out of your way to make me smile and laugh.
I love that I can be open and honest with you, even about things that are hard to talk about. Today was definitely testing how receptive you are to my perspective, and I was really scared of being open, because I don’t want to lose anything with you. But, I was really pleasantly surprised at the way that you handled it.
It was hard talking about my experiences with porn in relationships. And it was definitely verging on what could be tmi, but I guess these are things you need to know about me. Every word of it was true. I love being intimate with someone I care for, and there aren’t really limitations to what I am willing to do to make a relationship work. I can’t be completely sure, but I think you were thinking about kissing me in the electrical room. I debated it, but honestly, I need reassurance as to what you really want before I cross those lines. I’m fairly sure you’ll give that to me soon, though.
I care about you on a deep level. And I want you to know that I really do my best to watch what I say, especially when I’m hurt. I explained my thought process behind that, too. Because how much can you really love someone if you would risk their mental wellbeing over a temporary feeling.. I know how it feels to hear shit I can’t un-hear. I know how it feels to be torn down by someone I loved. And it’s not that I won’t find a way to be honest with you about something, but there’s definitely a way to communicate it. Respect is everything in a relationship.
I did find it a little funny that you said with my work clothes, it almost seemed like my body didn’t exist. I mentioned that you’ve seen me wear things that fit before, but you said you didn’t make it a point to check me out. I’m not entirely sure that you haven’t noticed something, though. Especially because when we talked about my favorite stretches you said you always walked in on thread the needle. Maybe you were just trying to make it a point that you respect me.
I see the way you look at me now. Your eyes are gentle, warm, and loving. I just have to be careful with how long I look into them, because I need to maintain some self control. You’re literally everything I want in a man. “I love the way God designed you” means something so much deeper when you can read the stars.
And, I really do love the way you were created. I find myself studying your features, your hair, nose, eyes, ears, hands, smile, and on occasion, your muscles. But I try to be respectful, so when I catch my eyes roaming like that, I check myself.
I want to hold your hand, run my fingers through your hair, rub your back, and listen to you talk for hours. I want to know everything there is to know about you. What you believe, your dreams, and the things you want in life.
It was funny when you said you were surprised by what my dream was, because usually if a girl tells you that she’s dreamt of you, it’s something else.
I laughed, because it was really funny. I definitely could’ve clarified it, but I didn’t because it wouldn’t be true to say I haven’t seen that in some way. There’s been random moments where I’ve had intense visions of us. It’s just that I’m awake when it happens, and it’s hazy. I daydream about getting intimate with you a lot, but there’s definitely a difference.
I wonder if you ever think of me that way, and what you imagine. I’m sure based on what I told you, you can get a little creative with the thought of it. I’m very giving sexually, I have a high sex drive, and I’m willing to make a whole album.
I want you. I want all of you.
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weeple · 6 months ago
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I just remembered that I’m turning 21 in a month. What. What the hell. Earlier today we were just discussing what we’re going to do for dad’s birthday cause his is also next month but mines actually sooner which is why I feel so shocked that I remembered my birthday because I genuinely forgot how soon it is. I wonder if I’ll be able to have some friends over for a party, I haven’t had anyone over in a couple years and I would quite like to show my new friends my house. I actually don’t remember the last time I had friends over, I’m going to look through my photos and see… wow quite literally a couple years, 2 years well guess not even quite 2 years yet as it won’t be exactly 2 years till my birthday. Anyway wow that’s wild. Like I have literally since then gone to college and graduated that is messed up. I don’t even really talk to the people that were at my last party. Like I talk to one of them and I don’t even actually text him that much, we used to talk all the time and even tried being in a relationship TWICE! That’s sad. Now he’s gone and gotten a partner and they’re planning on moving in together. Happy for him but it hurts because he was the only person I ever really felt I had a chance with. Finding out he had a partner was also the moment I found out I am the only one out of all my close friends that isn’t in a relationship. And all of theirs seem quite serious like they’re either actively planning on moving in together or already are living together while I rot away in my parents basement an hours drive from all the rest of them. The aforementioned ex boyfriend used to live in my hometown but moved to the city for university so now I feel quite lonely and left behind. I told myself I would try and go to bed earlier tonight but now it’s 3am. I’m just glad I haven’t seen 5am because of my staying up in a while. A red hue has just come over the bottom of my keyboard and I’m not sure as to why. Evil keyboard activated. Hehehe I love typing everything that comes into my head. It made my class laugh for one of my jokes in my standup performance so I continue to do so cause maybe I’ll give a good chuckle at it or potential viewers that have decided to read my ramblings for some reason (it’s because they’re in love with me, ya that’s why and no other reasons whatsoever) I’m typing on my tablet as per usual as that’s where I have tumblr downloaded but I am loosing my mind because the keyboard is orientated slightly different from on my phone so I end up hitting the wrong punctuation and I don’t like it, I will continue to go back and fix my mistakes but gosh it’s annoying.
Back to being sad about aging and being alone and stuff. I think I don’t even actually understand what it means to be in love romantically, like I’ve looked up the definition of a romantic relationship because I just don’t get how it’s different from just being best friends. Maybe I’m just deeply in love with all of my best friends, which I have been assuming as I’ve confessed to all 3 of the people I’ve deemed my best friend in my life so far. I only got my feelings recuperated once, was with the again aforementioned ex boyfriend. The first time it was in grade 8 and it wasn’t directly a confession to her but that was what I was going to try and lead to but when we were laying together on the pull out couch in the shed at her grandparents trailer park and I told her I really wouldn’t mind dating boys or girls and she went quiet. I don’t;t even think I realized at the time that I essentially came out as bisexual to her. In the morning we walked out to the rocks by the lake and she asked me about what I said last night and asked if I was kidding and said we couldn’t be friends anymore if I wasn’t kidding so obviously I lied and said it was all a joke and I was kidding. What else was I supposed to do. My best friend just said we wouldn’t be friends anymore. Though I never was her best friend because her best friend was a girl from her old town. It really hurt how every time I said she was my best friend she would remind me that I wasn’t hers. It makes me feel slightly less guilty for accidentally ghosting her the next year. We haven’t talked since but I do still feel guilty. I often wonder if we would still be friends if she hadn’t changed to home school in grade 9 and if I had seen her “hey”. I ate lunch alone in a dark corner of the school next to a forgotten pair of washrooms (very nice washroom cause no one used them since they were so tucked away.) Time by Ben Folds is playing right now (thank you YouTube for this mix that is literally just Ben folds/ben folds five cause like ya that’s the good stuff) very on theme. I often catch myself missing who I was in my past but have I really changed all that much. I think I just miss the circumstance of not “now”. I find it weird looking at old photos of myself because I don’t seem to recognize myself like did I really look like that? Do I reflect any of that now?
My head hurts and I keep feeling dizzy but not quite dizzy and not quite woozy just like woogly or something I don’t know, bad I guess. I should really try to sleep maybe it will be nice tomorrow and I won’t think of my woes and I won’t pick all the skin off my face. I feel like I’ve been holding in tears but like they’re not falling just on standby I guess. I am probably forgetting many words in this long ramble because my brain is behind my body so to any potential readers, if you’ve noticed any missing words, no you haven’t. Thanks.
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returntosaturn271995 · 1 year ago
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Monday, July 31st: Sweep your floor
Today I experienced a problem that is also a gift...but still a problem. 
But in a gifty kind of way. 
Before I had my interview this morning with Power Digital (I got to the second round!) and got around to answering emails (got to the second round for MSL marketing as well), I decided today I was going to continue wanting to use the Nike Running app. After all, it got me to run 55 minutes last week. For those of you reading this (literally just me), that’s about an hour more than I usually run.
The interview ended. The coffee had me buzzing, I drank my collagen and applied my sunscreen and deodorant and my key lime sports bra and my giant headphones. I tied my Asics and put on Greta Van Fleet. 
And did one of the apps bonus easy runs: 7 minutes. A mile if you are decent at miles. I’m not yet decent but not indecent anymore. 
Low key? I felt bad, like I wasn’t adding to my progress. Which is crazy because a short run is still a run. It still completely counts, especially because it’s part of my daily walk to the beach and back so it’s not like I didn’t cover ground after that. I went faster than usual, bringing up my embarrassing average speed. I even got tired toward the end, so flexed my mental muscles there as well. 
The 35 minute run that’s on deck for this week just freaks me out a bit. What if I can’t do it? My furthest unbroken run is 22 minutes.
And the thing is, running for most of my daily walk has been a goal of mine for a while now. Somehow when I wasn’t looking it became easy for me to do. Too easy. Like did I even really do anything?
Same with Daily Yoga, I felt exhausted an hour ago and decided to just do 10 minutes of hip stretches. Even though my goal absolutely used to be just ten minutes a day, and when I was tired skipping over a practice wasn’t a big deal. But now 10 minutes makes me wonder if I’m getting more flexible, if I even can get more flexible without a longer session. 
Meditation, again, I haven’t skipped a day of mindfulness in 55 days. Earlier this year it was a big deal to get to 9 consecutive days. But I felt myself judging my “presence”. Wanting to hit that next step on the path to enlightenment. FYI, you don’t have to laugh with the universe to know that being goal oriented isn’t exactly the best way to kill your ego. The whole idea is to exist in the moment without judging yourself. Wondering if your spine can be straighter or your mind could be emptier is just a girl with OCD gnawing on her own chakras.  
I wanted to feel achievement and instead felt like my wheels were spinning. Ugh, I totally get this from Dad. He never heard good news that didn’t stress him out. 
I’m being consistent. I am improving. FAST. So why is it that when I take it easy, (a chapter of a book instead of the whole damn thing), it feels like I’m not doing enough? 
I used to think that if I could be the type of person who regularly did all these things that I’d be happy. My ceiling is now my floor and I’m impatient for the next ceiling. 
Stop. Feel the pride, goddamnit. Or one day you’ll be able to go 10 miles, and feel shitty about yourself because it wasn’t 11 miles. And then one day you’ll be dead and no one will give a fuck that you ran in the first place.  
When you’re establishing a new habit, it’s all about baby steps. Maybe it’s a good sign that I’m ready to take kid sized steps. But the initial efforts are what got me here. 
I swept my literal bedroom floors, then swiffered them, wiped down the dresser and bedside table, cleaned the mirror so as to not check myself out through a film of dust. I dragged the plant Katie left in to the corner of my room and read two chapters of 4000 weeks by Oliver Burkeman. The theme is there will never be a time in the future in which you will allow yourself to be calm, because you will just find new things to fret and plan for until you’re dead. 
You’re always going to have more emails. Today is enough. 
In “The Cost of Utopia”, the character Alexander Herzen is mourning the untimely death of his young son in a shipwreck. In this loss he comes to the realization that a child’s life is no less valuable even though he never was able to reach adult accomplishments: “Because children grow up, we think a child’s purpose is to grow up, but a child’s purpose is to be a child. Nature doesn’t disdain what only lives for a day. It pours the whole of itself into each moment...Life’s bounty is in its flow. Later is too late.” 
Just because I’m getting better doesn’t mean my purpose is out there in a land of dreamt potential. My purpose is in the here and now. Page by page, mile by mile, healthy choice after healthy choice. Maybe I’ll get there (I will) or maybe this is where I plateau, but I’m not going to stop cleaning my corner of the universe and sweeping this floor until it shines. I worked hard to get here and I’m going to honor the foundation I get to walk on, and yes, even take a little for granted. Later is not when I deserve to be happy.
Not when I actually got a lot of shit done today. 
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greensparty · 2 years ago
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Book Review: Pattie Boyd “My Life in Pictures” / Jerry Seinfeld “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee”
I got to review not one but two coffee table photo books this week:
Pattie Boyd My Life In Pictures
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book cover
Earlier this year I got to review Olivia Harrison’s book Came the Lightening: Twenty Poems for George, the book of poems she wrote about her husband George Harrison. She was George’s second wife and was with him from 1978 until his death in 2001. Now I am getting to review the new photo book from model / photographer Pattie Boyd, who was married to George from 1966 to 1977. The main thing people talk about with Pattie Boyd is that she left George for his friend Eric Clapton, he wrote “Layla” about her, yada yada yada. In 2007, Boyd wrote her autobiography Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton and Me. But she is a noted photographer because she was in the right place at the right time taking pictures of her friends in the 1960s and 70s. Since the mid 00s she has had photo exhibits all over the world. This new book My Life in Pictures, is a collection of over 300 photos and artwork from her personal archive.
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young Boyd and Harrison
There is a forward from her pal Ronnie Wood. Then it gets right into the photos, beginning with Boyd’s early days as a model along with brief captions and commentary. My favorite photos in this book are the ones of her with George Harrison and her memories about that time. She shares some pictures from her wedding to George, their honeymoon, her trip with The Beatles to India and more. I haven’t read Boyd’s 2007 autobiography Wonderful Today, but I’m sure that goes deeper into the details. This book is more about her personal photographs. They are fantastic photos! It’s no wonder she has had photo exhibits of her work. As a Beatle fan, this is a treat to see candid pics of George during down time.
For info on My Life in Pictures: https://www.reelartpress.com/catalog/edition/226/pattie-boyd:-my-life-in-pictures
4 out of 5 stars
Jerry Seinfeld Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee Book
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book cover
Jerry Seinfeld is one of the greatest comedians of all time. Between his stand-up comedy, his greatest sitcom of all-time Seinfeld, and his animated movie Bee Movie, he has nothing to prove. But yet he has actually made one of the coolest retirement projects in recent memory with his short-form show Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee. The series, which began on Crackle in 2012 and moved to Netflix in 2018, is just Jerry driving around with another comedian and talking comedy over coffee on their ride to and from. It is literally a show about nothing...but wildly entertaining. It’s like you are eavesdropping on comedians talking insider-baseball. The show is loads of fun and I even included it in my Best TV Shows of the 2010s list. Now Seinfeld has released a coffee table book of Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee Book.
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Seinfeld and President Obama in the famous 2015 episode (the book covers this episode at the White House)
Seinfeld is no stranger to the book world. His 1993 book SeinLanguage of his routines was a fast fun read. In 2002 he wrote a children’s book Halloween. In 2020 he released his collection of routines organized by decade Is This Anything? (read my review here). This is a combination photo book / excerpts of some of the best moments of the show. Over the last few years when some comedians have passed away, I’ve found myself looking back at their episode of CICGC, i.e. Carl Reiner, Norm Macdonald, Gary Shandling and Jerry Lewis. There is an early chapter with a brief oral history about the show. Then it gets into the excerpts organized by the topics like food, music, family, and more. For a fan like me who has seen every episode, this is a reminder of how the series was a comprehensive collection of some of the greatest comedic minds of all time. For casual fans, this will be a special treat too as the excerpts are smart and funny. Seinfeld is a comedian who truly love comedy and more so understanding the inner working of comedy and this series is an extension of that. Did I mention the photography is outstanding here too?
For info on Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee Book: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Comedians-in-Cars-Getting-Coffee-Book/Jerry-Seinfeld/9781982112769
4.5 out of 5 stars
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suckitsurveys · 2 years ago
Text
Do you think that you are a good singer? No, but I still sing.
Are you sure of your sexuality? All I know is that I’m not straight.
Do you love your parents? I do.
Do you like to read? No.
Do you think that you are a good writer? Eh.
What was the last compliment that you got? One of my niece’s soccer teammates told me they liked my hair today. 
What does your home phone look like? Who still has a home phone?
Do you eat candy daily? No. Have you ever moved to a different home? Yes. 
Have you ever switched schools? Only from pre-school to elementary to high school to college.
Do you like to go swimming? I LOVE swimming.
Have you ever been to camp? Sorta.
Do you have a pet? If so what? Three kitties.
Do you have trouble spelling certain words? Some maybe, but generally I’m pretty good at spelling.
Do you get nervous with public speaking? It’s not something I find myself doing often.
What is your favorite TV show? BoJack Horseman.
Do you know anyone with a really weird name? Sure.
Are you taken? I’m married
Do you fight with your parents all the time? No.
Are you in pain right now? Nah.
What are you doing tomorrow? I need to do laundry and grab a couple more things from the so
Were you single on your last birthday? Nope.  I haven’t been single in almost 12 years
How much longer until your birthday? 10 months.
Who is the last person on your received calls list? A scam call. I
Where were you at 8 am this morning? Still sleeping I think.
When was the last time you went in the car past midnight? I don’t remember.
So, you have brown eyes? No.
Ever kissed anyone with the name Joe or Dave? I’ve kissed a Joe before.
Who was driving the last three cars you were in? The last 3 times I was in a car it was my own car.
Does anyone call you babe or baby? Yeah.
Who is your last text from? My friend Lolly.
What languages can you count to ten or higher in? English and Spanish
Last missed call? That scam call I mentioned earlier.
Do you drink lots of booze? No.
Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? My husband.
Have you ever felt like you literally needed someone? Of course.
Are you one of those people that get nervous around babies and small children? Sometimes.
Do you use text lingo like ‘ur’ & ‘2’ whenever you text or instant message? I use some text lingo, but not those.
Do you update your Facebook status often? When’s the last time you updated it & what did it say? Not super often. The last thing I posted was a picture of our cat.
Who was the last person you held hands with? My husband.
Are you outgoing or shy? I can be both.
Can you legally drink? Yes, I’m 33.
Will you be married in the next 2 years? I will still be married, yes.
Are you taller than 5’5”? Nope.
At this very moment what should you be doing? Nothing in particular.
Do you have any medication you have to take every day? No.
Ever kissed anyone with a nipple piercing? No.
What about a lip piercing? No.
Who’s the last person who you went out to eat with? My dad.
What are you doing tonight? This shit, MAAAYBE watching SNL but probably not.
In winter, would you rather wear a jacket or hoodie? Depends on the weather.
Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Nah.
How old do you look? I don’t know.
Where are your siblings? My sister is at home.
What are you going to do after this? I might play Geoguessr.
What color shirt are you wearing? Navy blue.
Have you ever voluntarily read the Bible? No.
Why do you think most teenagers don’t enjoy reading? I don’t know.
How much is gas where you live? Like $4 something.
How many good friends do you have? A small handful.
When was the last time you were on the phone? I just had it in my hand a second ago lol.
Did you get any compliments today? Yes.
Have you ever gotten a spray tan? No.
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no-droids · 4 years ago
Text
Whenever You Want
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Part Fourteen of the Rough Day Series
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 11.2K
Warnings: Listen there is some dirty smut in this one yall okay like I was blushing when I wrote it, it has a very stark beginning and theres a pagebreak afterwards if you would prefer to skip over it. Smut includes oral sex (female receiving) rough sex, sensory deprivation, butt stuff (ass to mouth, anal fingering/penetration) so PLEASE LOOK OUT FOR IT PLEASE. Also there is jealous/possessive mando in this, season 1 Karga makes another appearance, and some angst/fluff towards the end
A/N: Nothing much today yoditos just love you all
***
Din said he’d meet you here.
You’re currently sitting across from Greef Karga in a cantina on Nevarro, a closed shield next to you and a blaster tucked into the back of your waistband, hidden underneath your shirt.  You’re barely even looking at him, though—your eyes are attached to the door by an invisible string, forcing your gaze back to it no matter how much it bounces around the room.
You don’t know where Din is, you haven’t seen him in hours.  But you do know that when he left, he was moving slower than you’re used to.  You don’t think anyone else would notice, but you sure did.  Not that he was obvious about it—you only picked up on very subtle hints.  Leaning up against things just a bit more than he usually does.  Taking slightly longer exiting the ramp of the Crest than his normal strides would carry him.
He didn’t say what he was going to do—just that he needed to find someone before meeting with Karga, and you accepted it.  But truthfully, you didn’t want to.  You were worried about him—still are, actually.  But for all intents and purposes, he was speaking and acting like himself, showing no real signs of exhaustion other than the smallest instances you described before, so you didn’t really have a leg to stand on.  He’s been through way worse, and you know it.  You just… find yourself worrying about him so much more than you used to, and you need to learn how to gain some control over that part of you.
The kid was still passed out from healing him and you remember Din carefully setting four pucks down in the sleeping baby’s sphere and giving his ears a gentle rub between leather fingers.  He turned back to you and told you to meet him at the cantina in three hours, but if it ended up taking him too long for any reason, to try your best to see if Karga will let you exchange on his behalf.
Admittedly, he didn’t sound too confident about it—the instructions were delivered with a tone that implied a doubtful, just-in-case scenario he wasn’t foreseeing happening.  Or maybe he just doubted the likelihood of Karga agreeing to do business with you, you’re not entirely sure.  All you know is that when he left, you were almost certain he wouldn’t be late, but you also took the time to grab the smallest blaster from his armory before heading out just in case.
Yet—here you are, three and a half hours later, eyes flicking between the door and Karga as you attempt to keep up polite conversation.  After turning down his offer of alcohol for the fifth time and still not seeing any glimpse of beskar coming to your rescue, you figure this may be as good a time as any to start the exchange.
During an extended break in the small talk, you slowly reach over to the corner of your booth and press a button on the face of the kid’s shield.  It hisses open and you completely miss the way Karga’s hand raises while three of his guards automatically reach for their hips.  The little green monster is still snoozing comfortably while you pull out the four glowing pucks Din left you and set them on the table one by one.
They scrape along the top of it as you slowly push them over to him, before sitting back in the booth and clearing your throat, flicking your eyes between Karga and his guards.  To you, nobody appears to have moved, so you muster a polite smile at him.
Karga smiles back, but makes no move to gather or inspect the offerings in front of him.
“Um…” you say after a moment, suddenly feeling your heart start to beat a little faster.  “Mando… Mando gave me permission to exchange on his behalf.”
“I believe you,” he drawls out in response, but the pucks still sit untouched in front of him as he leans back in the booth and studies you.  “Mando has always had a… let’s say, a frustrating penchant for disregarding the pillars of our code.  My apologies, young lady, but I’m afraid that I cannot accept these from you.”
Your voice comes out quieter than you’d like it to sound.  “Why not?”
“It is… unlawful,” he answers after a moment.  “Our organization operates under strict rules.”
Does it?  You blink.  No, it doesn’t.  You’re nothing to the Guild and you’ve sat next to Din quite a few times while Karga talked, listening to him drunkenly boast about return rates and out members by name.  You’re not sure why he’s barring you like this, but you’re also not self-assured enough to put practically any spine into it whatsoever.  “I’m… afraid I don’t understand.”
“I cannot legally do guild business with individuals not recognized as members in an official capacity,” he sighs, sounding grave and almost apologetic about it, but you don’t know him well enough to know if he’s a good actor or not.  “There’s nothing I can do for you besides provide you with my company, not until Mando decides to show.”
Well now that doesn’t make any sense, and you’re starting to worry that for some reason or another, he isn’t going to show.  Though it was incredibly well concealed, you’re well aware that Din was still lingering in the final recovery stages when he left the Crest earlier and all you have to go on is his word that he’d be here.  Something could’ve happened.  Something could be happening right now, you need to push.
“People pick up bounties for extra credits all the time,” you mumble, still way too fucking quiet about it.  Maker, you’re not even sure if he could hear that over the sound of the cantina.  Speak up, speak up.
“Yes, but those quarry are listed on the New Republic’s most wanted database,” Karga acknowledges diplomatically, educating more than he is arguing, before uncorking the bottle of glowing blue alcohol in front of him and beginning to pour himself another shot.  “They’re fodder.  Up for grabs—names, last known locations, and biometrics published for the entire galaxy to read.”  He tilts his head down at the four metal pucks on the table without removing his gaze from the gradually filling glass.  “Those pucks are different, they’re commissions.  Tied specifically to Guild contracts.”  Karga clunks the bottle back down again and corks it, pinning you with a stare.  “For all I know, you could’ve murdered a member of our ranks and come to collect payment for his bounties.  Can’t have that.”
Your blood suddenly turns to ice at the implication, eyes wide and your heartbeat rocketing as you look from Karga to the three guards casually stationed behind him.  “You—You think I murdered Mando?”
“No,” he says, easily and in the very same breath, before throwing the shot back and wiping his mouth with a grimace.  “Not sure I’d care too much if you did.  It’s not my rule, but I am required to follow it or risk losing my position in the Guild.”
Shit.  Shit.  What do you do?
You’re blank, left quiet and feeling increasingly unsure of how to proceed.  Karga, however, seems completely unbothered and even appears to be enjoying himself and your company.  He gives you another smile, this one a lot friendlier and more genuine than the one earlier, before setting his elbows on the table and leaning forward.
“Look, I want to help you,” he admits, keeping his tone light, “but my hands are tied.  Just relax and share a drink with me until he gets here, it’s not a problem.”
Fuck, you don’t like this, and a quick look around brings another reminder of Din’s continued absence.  Your chest feels tight, the anxiety starting to compound and make you jumpy.  It’s been too long—it’s been at least forty minutes or so of waiting by now and something just feels wrong about this.  Not having him next to you feels wrong enough on its own, but when he specifically told you he’d be here?
You clench your jaw and try to work up your nerve.  Karga is a nice guy, right?  He knows you by name, he knows who you are to Mando.  And while you never really thought about the bounty hunter’s omnipresent protection as being anything other than metaphorical, you suddenly realize that… it might be literal, too.  How much sway do you actually have here, you wonder?  You’re not stupid, you’re not going to try anything stupid, but maybe just another question won’t hurt?
“Well, um… how do you become a member, then?”  You ask him, and you watch as he leans back in the booth, raising both eyebrows at you.
“Excuse me?”  He asks, though there’s a genuine amusement in his voice.  Stunned that you’d even say the words aloud.
“I have four bodies,” you tell him shortly.  You’re still quiet about it, but his thoroughly entertained astonishment is beginning to rub you the wrong way.  You don’t want to be part of the Guild, you don’t want to be here, you’re doing this out of growing necessity.  “One of which I dragged through a blizzard on Hoth by its ankles and put into carbonite myself, so please just tell me what I have to do to get you to take them.”
“I can’t,” he repeats, shaking his head like you’re just not getting it.  “New members are only accepted if they bring in an S-level criminal from the database or if they complete a commission that was granted to them by someone of my station—neither of which apply to you.  If you cannot present me with any sort of reasonable argument for which they could, then I’m afraid this is not a favor I can swing.”
“I was sitting right here,” you return, suddenly finding your voice.  If Karga wants an argument from you to get this to happen, then you’ll do it.  You just need to finish this exchange, go back to the Crest, and scan around for Din’s signal.  “When you first gave the pucks to Mando, I sat right here and you pushed them over to this side of the table—I was present for the commission and now I’m here to complete it.”
He shakes his head.  “But I didn’t give them to you, I gave them to Mando—”
“Yes, but you only wanted to give him three,” you immediately point out.  “The last one, the one I told you I put into carbonite—you said you threw it in because you liked me, it could’ve been for me.”
Karga suddenly stops and blinks at you for a few seconds, and you bite your lip, wondering if the logic will hold.  It’s flimsy as fuck and you know he could very easily rip it apart if he wanted to.  It could’ve been for you but it wasn’t, he gave it to Mando.  You also purposefully leave out the fact that you’re also the reason Mando only gave him three bodies in the first place; your only goal here is to complete this transaction as quickly as possible and leave.  You don’t like the fact that it’s taking Din so long, and you also don’t like the fact that Karga seems so keen on keeping you here with him, no matter how many reassurances he provides.  He said he wants to help you?  This can be his chance to prove it.
After a few extended moments of consideration, Karga finally shrugs like he really couldn’t care less before reaching across the table for the pucks and beginning to stack them in his palm.
“What is your last name?”  He asks, turning behind him to gesture for one of his men with a jerk of his head.  The bodyguard exits the cantina without another word and your eyes flick back to Karga’s.
“Why does it matter?”  You ask uncertainly, watching another guard approach with a holopad as he shrugs once more.
“It doesn’t, but we need something for our records,” Karga explains, grabbing the device as it’s tapped against his shoulder without removing his gaze from yours.  “I can just use Doe if you don’t feel like sharing—most of our members tend to prefer anonymity, including your companion.”
Your eyebrows furrow even as your heart continues to pound, wondering how they can afford to be so lax about some things but take others so seriously.  “You have him down as John Doe?”
“First name Man,” Karga grunts in response, finally breaking eye contact to begin navigating through pages on the holopad.
“Ah,” you say shortly, knowing you’d probably find the joke funny in other circumstances.  You’re not out of the trenches yet, you still feel the worry tugging hard at your chest.
“Very well,” Karga announces with a sigh, pocketing the pucks in his leather overcoat and then handing the holopad back to one of the men flanking him after a moment.  “Someone is collecting the carbonite plaques from your vessel as we speak.”
You give him a nod, taking a deep breath that you hope is slow and subtle enough to not give your anxiety away.  He helped you out, you’re halfway through this.  Now comes the exchange.  Now it’s his turn to give you the credits and four more pucks, that’s how this should go.
Only, Karga leans back in his seat and cocks his head at you.  “Unfortunately, I believe we have found ourselves in the midst of yet another predicament.”
Your heart continues to slam, praying you haven’t somehow majorly fucked things up by getting this far.  Din still isn’t here, why is he so fucking late?  He nearly froze to death and you handled a dead body just to make this meeting on time, where the fuck is he?
You raise an eyebrow at him, willing the building panic not to show on your face.  “Have we?”
“You’re lucky credits are attached to commissions instead of rank within the Guild,” he prefaces, pulling out a large handful of them to begin counting, and your eyes flick around the cantina while you know he isn’t looking, “or else you’d be getting about half of what I’d normally give him.”
Heart galloping when you still don’t see any sign of him, you just decide to keep extra quiet as you watch Karga divvy out a sizable stack of credits, hoping your prolonged silence will protect you somehow.
“The question now becomes…” he lifts an eyebrow at you while sliding them across the table to you, “how many pucks do I give you in return, hm?”
Fuck, you don’t like this, you’re trying to make it crystal fucking clear that your intentions do not extend beyond the perimeter of this table.  There’s no you to be found in this deal, you’re just an emergency proxy in Din’s absence and you only inserted yourself in the situation to accomplish that task.  “I told you I’m only here to exchange on Mando’s behalf, that’s it.”
“Be that as it may…”  Karga glances around the cantina like he’s thinking extra hard about it.  This is a made-up problem, you both know there’s no predicament here.  He knows you didn’t kill Mando, he knows there’s no real reason to be giving you such a hard time about this, and you clench your jaw as he still seems to take his time considering it.  “Tell you what, young lady,” he finally turns back to you.  “Do me the honor of sharing one sip of this fine spotchka with me and I’ll give you four pucks to pass along to Mando.”
Okay.  Okay, you can do that, if he really cares that much.  Karga gestures for the closest droid to come by with a glass for you, but you just grab the bottle in front of him and uncork it without thinking too much, balancing the glowing blue liquid with two hands and diligently taking a small sip of it before setting it down again.  Appearing satisfied with your demonstration of upholding your end of the bargain, Karga grins and reaches into another pocket.
“Four for Mando,” he pushes four pucks across the table, “same rate and return as last time, as promised.”  You nearly deflate in relief as you quickly gather them up and begin dropping them into the snoozing baby’s shield along with the credits, but then Karga reaches back and pulls out another puck, pushing it over to you.  “And one for you.”
You blink at him, frozen in place.
“Lowest level, lowest pay.  Not even a criminal by New Republic standards, just a missing person,” he goes on to say, but then quite suddenly… 
Quite suddenly you’re absolutely fucking horrified.
You don’t want it.  Everything inside you surges up to scream that you do not want that puck.  It’s a waste of time, even if it’s an extra job—it’s too much trouble, too much fuel for such a small reward.  You already know good and well that Din won’t want to bother, getting this extra puck would be considered a detriment to him.
“What if I don’t want it?”  You ask, sounding nervous and vaguely out of breath as you look down at it.
Karga scoffs.  “Of course you don’t.  Nobody wants these, why do you think I’m trying so hard to pawn one off on you?”
Shit.  This is not at all how you expected any of this would go.  You know he’s not really asking, even if his tone and continued courtesy implies it’s only a request.  There’s an expectation attached to this, and it appears you take too long pondering an offer that isn’t actually voluntary.  Karga stares at you and your clear apprehension for just a few seconds more, before finally giving you an ultimatum.  “You said you’re here on his behalf.  You either take all five pucks now or Mando only gets three next time, your choice.”
Oh.  Oh, no.  This is a lose-lose; three pucks means more fuel and less credits, five pucks means more fuel and less credits.  It’s not like you have any real bargaining power here—almost everything he’s done for you today has been a favor of some sort and you’re well aware that things can always get worse.
Still, you take a deep breath and try your best to throw around whatever weight you have left in one final agreement.
“Give me your word you’ll go back to giving him four from now on, no more hassling or hard time constraints and we’ll take it just this once,” you tell him, trying to conjure and put power behind your words even though you’re unsure if they’ll stick.
“Deal,” Karga readily agrees with a smile, reaching his hand across the table.  You have no choice but to meet him in the middle and clasp it, unable to feel anywhere close to good about your performance here.  It was clunky and insecure and even though you just barely succeeded in making the exchange overall, you’re massively disappointed in the specifics.
But then Karga’s eyes quickly flick over your shoulder.
“Ah, Mando!”  He suddenly calls out, and your hand nearly snatches away from his while your body goes rigid.
Oh, this isn’t good, this is not good.  Well, it’s good that he’s here but it also really fucking isn’t.  You don’t even turn your head; you sit completely straight and still while the cantina falls to a hush and heavy footsteps begin to approach behind you.  You fucked up—you fucked up, you didn’t wait long enough and you feel the sharp regret instantly twist in your stomach.  He said he’d be here, why didn’t you trust him?  Your anxiety and stress compounded and spurned you to act too quickly, you made the deal a few fucking seconds before he showed up.
And, as Din eventually comes into your peripheral, taking his time leaning his rifle up against the table, you immediately realize that you should not have worried.  Recovery isn’t even a word in his vocabulary right now—he’s more intimidating than he’s ever been, more powerful and certain and dangerous while he lowers himself into the seat next to you than he’s ever felt to you before.  Everything is so quiet now that he’s here; you feel like even just swallowing against the sudden dryness in your throat turns into an audible gulp.  The man sitting across from you may own this cantina and every material good under its roof, but the one sitting by your side feels like he steals the literal air from the room just by walking inside it.
Yet, in spite of the daunting presence of the Mandalorian, Karga beams and tips his glass at him.  “I believe you’ve arrived just in time for your favorite part of the conversation, friend.  The farewells.”
You stare wide-eyed down at the table as Din leans back into the booth and very slowly extends his arm behind your shoulders, saying nothing at all to him.
The testosterone is radiating from him to the point of near suffocation, you can taste the alpha in the air.  Your heart slams in your chest at the unspoken claim he just made with a subtle movement, and though you’ve never been one for masculine displays, this one weirdly feels… good right now.  You know it’s primitive and crude and you’re not a piece of meat to be fought over, but it doesn’t feel like that at all.  It’s the immediate feeling of security that serves to heat your cheeks, the fact that you’ve been a nervous mess trying to be extra brave this whole interaction and then suddenly you have the backup of an entire army contained within one single suit of armor next to you.
If you weren’t internally panicking at how badly you screwed this shit up, you’d probably be going fucking feral for him right now.
Karga says your name and your gaze snaps to his, feeling like you can’t breathe.  “My associate has collected the plaques, nothing keeps you here any longer.  It was a pleasure doing business with you.”
Still, nobody at the table moves.
After a moment, you carefully glance up and to the side at the sharp, metallic profile of his helmet.  Maker, you can’t explain it—it’s like you feel terrified but not really for yourself, if that makes sense.  You’re upset with yourself for not having enough trust in his word, absolutely, but something in Din’s demeanor tells you that he’s going to be considerably less understanding of how Karga handled this situation than the way you did.
The helmet slowly turns down to look at you, and you bite your lip while carefully placing your hand on his thigh brace under the table, letting him feel your fingers brush against the bend of his knee.
He turns back to Karga after a few seconds, still not saying a single word, until eventually Din’s arm is lifted from behind your shoulders and you feel his leather fingers gently clasp your hand, before he starts to rise from the booth and pull you along next to him.  You both stand, and he silently presses a button on his vambrace without dropping your grip, urging the kid’s shield to follow along behind him.
“Um, goodbye,” you just barely remember to tell Karga as Din begins leading you away, apparently not waiting for the polite farewells he arrived in time for.
“Wait!”  A voice calls out just before you can make your exit, and Din pauses just in time for Karga to extend that damned fifth puck out for you to grab.  Right in fucking front of him.  “Can’t forget this!”
Fuck.  Great.  Thanks.
Blood rushes to your face while you go to reach for it, taking the puck and then placing it in the open shield along with four others in a way that you hope is casual but you know isn’t.  You close the lid on it and then squeeze Din’s hand slightly, but he stays rooted to the spot for a few more seconds, having watched the entire exchange play out.  Though you obviously wouldn’t be able to read his facial expressions even if you could lift your head to look up at him, you can’t will yourself to do so right now.  You’re too disappointed in yourself and nervous—you just stand there silently as he looks back at Karga, staring at your feet and praying he doesn’t do anything brash.
After too many moments of uncertainty, you squeeze his hand again and slowly begin to pull on it.  Without needing much pressure at all, he goes where you go, and you end up being the one to lead Din out of the cantina by the hand still tangled with yours.
*** 
The walk back to the Crest lasts an eternity.
Neither one of you say anything at all to each other the entire way there, and you know he’s not mad at you yet, but you’re worried.  You feel incredibly self-critical right now and it’s really not helping that he seems even quieter and more wound up than usual.  You don’t know if it’s because he already figured out that you just handed him extra work or if it’s because whatever made him late to the cantina also altered his mood, hit a reset button and reminded him of the way he used to be, the armor he’s wearing.  Was there a confrontation, you wonder?  Is he okay?  He seems like he’s… extra Mandalorian right now, there’s not really a better way to describe it.
He doesn’t drop your hand, though.  As you pass through the markets and shanty huts lining the streets, Din holds onto you.  Shoulders tense and strides heavy, but his fingers stay tangled in yours.
Regardless, you keep your mouth shut and eventually the Crest comes into view.  The ramp drops to the ground and the three of you make your way up, and you have enough foresight to carefully drop Din’s hand and lead the baby’s shield over to the unused cot built into the hull walls, closing him in a safe quiet place to sleep and continue building up his strength again.
You turn around to see Din press another button on his vambrace.  He stays with his back to you as the ramp slowly closes, but as soon as it latches up against the hull and locks into place, he nearly whips around and suddenly he’s right in front of you, gloves cupping your face.
“What happened?”  He asks sharply, the helmet looking you up and down.  “Are you alright?  Why did you look so scared?”
You reach up to rest your hands on his, blinking up at him and not knowing what to say.  How are you going to tell him?  He’s gotta waste extra fuel and time on a bullshit quarry because of you, what are you going to say?  You don’t even know if it’s last known location is nearby; he might have to fly to some remote, desolate corner of the galaxy just for a handful of credits because you couldn’t wait a fucking hour for him.
“I, uh…  I-I’m sorry, I just…”  But it’s nearly impossible to form a coherent thought when he’s this close to you and sounding fucking sincere, genuinely concerned about you while you’re stuck worrying about how to break the bad news to him.  “Oh, stars, um…”
“Did Karga fuck with you?”  He asks in that same sharp tone when you don’t finish your thought, but you’re so absorbed in your own conflict that you barely even hear him.  “Because I can go back right now, the cantina is just—”
“Okay wait, please—” You suddenly speak up, “before I tell you, just… please keep in mind that I did save your life two days ago, so…”
“Sweet girl,” Din rumbles slowly, a subtle warning for you to hurry up and spit it out.  His fingers tighten just slightly on your cheeks, still so gentle but needing you to communicate with him right now.
Tell him, you just need to tell him.  If he gets mad, then he gets mad, but at least he’ll know at that point and you won’t just be springing it on him out of nowhere.
“I fucked up,” you breathe out, eyebrows pulling up in the middle as you tighten your own grip on his hands.  “I’m so sorry, I fucked up and you were late and I got nervous and I didn’t wait long enough and I tried to make the exchange like you asked me to but then I had to take a fifth puck and I didn’t want to but Karga threatened to short change you next time around unless I agreed to take an extra one for the lowest pay just this once and I didn’t have any bargaining power and you showed up right after I agreed to the deal and I’m so so sorry—”
You cut yourself off with your own ragged gasp, not having paused once to breathe throughout the entire thing while your expression twisted up with regret more and more the longer he allowed you to speak.
Din stands there in front of you and doesn’t move, hands still attached to your face.
“Okay,” he eventually tells you.  Stunted words, like he’s trying extra hard to find them when yours just fell out of your mouth in a complete mess.  “It’s okay.  You did… good.”
The silence is tense and you’re becoming more and more anxious the longer he takes to speak.  He’s lying for your benefit, he must be.  When he drops his hands from your face and takes a full step back, you take the gesture as symbolic and nearly launch into panic.
“Maker, I’m so sorry I didn’t wait for—”  You start to say, but Din cuts you off.
“Did he make you…”  His back suddenly goes a little straighter, voice finding a quiet edge through the modulator as his fingers subtly twitch at his sides, “…Uncomfortable?”
You pull back at the sudden change in subject and furrow your eyebrows.
“Who, Karga?”  You have to think about it.  Did he make you uncomfortable, or were you just uncomfortable already?  You might’ve just been scared because you were making it scarier than it really was, you can admit that’s a valid possibility.  “Um… no?  I don’t know, not… not really, I don’t think.”
“No?”  He asks, taking a small step forward.  “You don’t know?  Or not really… you don’t think?”
You know you can only see the blade of his visor, but something makes you feel like you’re looking right in his eyes.  You even go back and forth between where you’re pretty confident each one is, trying to read his intentions right now.  It’s like he’s purposefully trying to keep space between you even though he looks like he wants to move closer, fisting his hands at his sides when he looks like he wants to touch you.
“No, he just… lowballed me towards the end of it and I got intimidated, but I’m also not…”  Your expression narrows in concentration while you try to find the words to explain yourself, wanting to be as honest as possible with him.  “I don’t know, I’m not like you.  I’m not that strong, but I’m trying to get better.  I think he was probably just being normal.  He did offer me alcohol a bunch, but I’m pretty sure he also did that last time, so—”
“And I didn’t like it the last time he did it,” Din says quietly, taking another small step forward.
You blink up at him, completely dumb.  This is what’s bothering him?  Is he really not upset with you at all for giving him more work?  It’s like the major fuckup on your behalf just went in one side of the helmet and out the other, he barely even acknowledged it other than the role Karga played.  He said it’s okay and you did good, which are like… five of the most common words in Galactic Basic, a Wookiee could probably find a way to say them.  How are you supposed to take that?  Were you just overthinking this whole thing from the very beginning?  You know anxiety tends to be irrational by definition, but has none of your panic from the past hour been justified whatsoever?
“Why were you so late?”  You ask him, but it’s not accusatory in the slightest.  It’s… concerned, worried about his well-being without having a real reason.  He’s clearly more than fine right now, he’s like a hurricane enclosed in metal and holding still in front of you.  Too much potential energy just waiting for a reason to be released, too much tension held tight and ready to snap.
“I’m sorry.”  He quickly reaches out to grab your hand and squeeze it, before dropping it just as quickly.  Fucking lightning quick, you’ll never understand how he can be so damn quick with all that extra weight strapped to him.  “It took longer than I thought it would and she’s not really someone you can rush.”  His response, ironically, feels very rushed, like he’s trying to address the tangent but also keep things on track, but something in the answer he gives catches your direct attention.  “Did he flirt with you?”
“Who is she and what can’t be rushed?”  You blurt at the same time, not even taking a split second to think about it.
Din stops short at the blunt question, staring at you in a silence that feels like it’s vaguely taken aback.
After a few moments of that… strangeness, of the two of you realizing that you’re both feeling slightly possessive over each other for absolutely no reason whatsoever, you start to feel… warm.  In another weirdly stupid, primitive way.  You know that letting those kinds of thoughts have their day in a relationship isn’t a good thing, but you can’t explain it.  Some deep-seated, prehistoric instinct inside you just goes fucking nuts whenever he gets in either provider or protector mode.  Now you understand exactly why he wanted to get you alone after you admitted to being jealous once before.  You totally fucking get it, you’re right there with him right now.  He hasn’t said anything, but you think he feels it, too.
“She makes things,” Din finally answers you, careful with his words and somehow managing to address your question while also sidestepping it, leaving you with only the smallest bit of information to go off of.  “Did he flirt with you?”
“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly.  “Maybe.  He could’ve just been trying to be friendly.  What did she make for you?”
“She made it for you,” he responds, again not really answering the question but continuing to juggle two separate conversations for your benefit.  “Did he scare you?”
“For me?”  You ask, eyebrows shooting upwards.  Provider, that stupid cavewoman DNA whispers to your lower body, making your voice go a little breathless.  “You asked her to make something for me?”
“Did he scare you?”  Din repeats sternly, grabbing your hand and giving it a firm squeeze.  “Because I can go back, I swear—”
Protector, it whispers this time, and your knees nearly buckle.
“Everything is scary when I don’t know where you are,” you admit to him, knowing it’s the truth regardless of how self-deprecating it sounds.  The only times you’ve ever truly been brave was because of him or the kid.  Stabbing a Corellian and then immediately flying the Crest out to him afterwards, walking through a pitch black forest believing a dangerous criminal was hiding in it, dragging a dead body through snow and shoving it into carbonite, standing up for yourself and pushing a deal through when odds were stacked against you.  Though it’s nothing to him, it’s nothing, it’s leaps for you.  You’re slowly learning to find a backbone, and he’s the one inspiring it.
Din holds there for a moment, unmoving with his hand still clutching yours.  You can’t get a read on him but you know how you feel right now.  Achy.  Hot.  Needy.  Wanting him to come closer.
“Will you do something for me?”  He asks you after a prolonged silence.  His voice is quiet, but… incredibly restrained.  Controlled chaos—his body is rigid and he’s flexing muscles that aren’t necessary for just standing, feeling like a sprinter holding still on the starting blocks.
“Of course,” you breathe out.
Din lets go of your hand and tilts his helmet over at the corner of the hull behind you.  “Go turn around and face that wall.”
You freeze, immediately recognizing the undertone in his voice.  Heat ladles deep into the pit of your tummy, sends warmth pooling downwards.  He wants to do this here?  Right now?
“We’re—” you look around the enclosed hull, “Mando, we’re not in hyperspace, we haven’t even left the surface yet…”
He looks around too, taking a second to blankly take in his stagnant surroundings like he had absolutely fucking no idea, before turning back to you and not saying a word.  Maker, everything below your waist is already stirring, twisting hot and deep inside, but you’re trying to be the voice of reason for a second.
“What if somebody hears us?”  You whisper, and Din cocks his head to the other side.
“I can help you stay quiet,” he murmurs, and… fuck.  You don’t know what it means, but you immediately imagine his hand held tight over your mouth while he takes some of this stress out on you and you already feel yourself wilting at the thought.  Okay.
“Okay,” you breathe without needing anything else at all, before spinning around and standing exactly where he told you to.  It’s just a corner near the back of the hull, nothing else here to look at besides two metal panels meeting at a right angle, but that’s admittedly what makes your heart start beating quicker.  You can’t see him come up behind you but you can feel it.  Slow, measured, but so restrained.
But then he stops almost immediately, before the back of your shirt is suddenly being yanked upwards and you remember at the very last second.
Din carefully grips his blaster and then eases it out of your waistband, the metal sliding warm along your skin from pressing against it for so long.  You never told him you took it with you, and he’s so fucking quiet behind you.  You have no idea how he’s reacting to that piece of information you originally didn’t think twice about.
“Do you like carrying my gun around?”  Din’s voice murmurs soft through the modulator to you, but then the blaster is tossed uselessly to the side, skittering loudly across the floor of the hull.
“Yes,” you reply, beginning to shyly turn your head back to look at him, hoping to gauge his response.
“Don’t turn around,” he quickly interrupts you, pushing your shoulder back into position and keeping you facing the corner.  You blink at the metal walls in a bit of a daze but follow instructions regardless, feeling your heart pound at the sudden display of dominance from him.  He has a very valid reason for it and you don’t realize what it is until a few seconds later, but even if he didn’t and he was just telling you what to do for the fun of it… you’d still like it.
But then his helmet is carefully being lowered over your head and you shudder as your vision is replaced with a familiar black abyss.  Fuck, his helmet, why does he like it so much when you wear this?  Admittedly, you don’t have much time to contemplate—as soon as it’s fitted and secure, he spins you around and you have to just do your best to maintain your balance, not having any visual to help.
“Can you hear me?”  Din asks, and your clothes start to be ripped off of you.  Your shoulders tip sideways with how quick he is about it, feeling him pull the fabric off and hearing the soft sound it makes landing on the floor.
“Yes,” you tell him, but he doesn’t respond, continuing to strip you completely naked in the hull.  Once your upper body is bare and he’s yanking your pants and underwear down your legs, you try saying it again as you step out of them, louder for him this time.
“I can’t hear you,” his voice grunts after a moment.  You know he’s in front of you but you can’t really tell where, now that he’s not touching you.  “Scream.”
You take a second, not having hard evidence anymore but still very well aware that you’re parked close to a marketplace on Nevarro and multiple people are nearby while you’re wearing his helmet.  This is dangerous for him, and not sure if you should, but then an arm is wrapping around your back and a large leather palm rests directly over your chest.  Din repeats his last word very slowly and clearly for you, waiting to feel it under his hands.
Your sternum lifts while it rises with your deep breath and then collapses as you diligently yell as loud as you can into the helmet, feeling like you might deafen yourself with the trapped sound.
“Good,” he growls, suddenly spinning you around and pushing you back into the metal paneling.  “I can’t hear you, be as loud as you need.  Hit me or something, put up a fight if you want me to stop, alright?”
Arousal rockets through you and you let out a moan already, taking advantage of the noise suppression and beyond turned on at this point.  You feel like you’re buzzing with it, lit up with excitement and wondering with bated breath what he’s planning to do to you.
“Alright?”  Comes his voice from behind you once more, and you quickly jerk the heavy helmet in a nod for him.  You can put up a fight and you know he’ll stop, you don’t have any problem with that and the fact that he specifically made sure to wait until he knew you understood him makes you start to pant inside the hollow beskar.
But then you feel him flick a small switch at the base of the helmet and then everything abruptly cuts out and goes dead silent.
Nothing.  Nothing.  You’re standing in a pitch black room where no other sound exists besides your own labored breathing.  Just like the waterfall on Naboo, but you can’t speak this time.  Temporarily making you blind, deaf, and putting a proverbial gag over your mouth all with one powerful piece of armor.
You shudder and he kicks your legs apart before you can do much else, yanking your hips back while you just try your best to cling to the wall for stability.  You don’t know what he’s going to do, you’re completely isolated in here and the only way you can even tell he dropped to his knees is the hot glide of his tongue through your pussy from behind.
Oh fuck—you arch into position as best you can while hands wrap around your ankles to pull them apart, trying to make the angle better.  His tongue licks softly over your clit and each time is like an electric shock jolting through your body, making you twitch back and up for him, stretching and begging him to do it again.  You can’t see anything right now so your mind readily imagines the visuals instead, providing you with a third party view.  Din, fully clothed and face shielded by your thighs, eating you out from behind while you brace yourself against the wall, completely naked and at his mercy, head tilted down from the weight of his helmet and living for the moments he decides to drag his tongue across your clit.
Without warning, a sudden burst of sensation ripples along your backside and causes you to lift the beskar in surprise, but without being able to hear anything, it takes you a second to figure out that he just smacked your ass.  The realization comes more or less at the exact time he decides to flatten his tongue and follow the curve of you back and up.
You gasp into the pitch black and there’s a moment where you just hold utterly still for him, experiencing and processing the sensation for the very first time.  His mouth is soft and warm as he tastes you here, his fingers digging into the swell of your cheeks to spread you open.  You’re glad your face is hidden so he can’t see the shock in your expression, the way your mouth drops and your eyes close as you let him explore you this way.
His gloved hands leave you for just a moment while he continues gliding his tongue against you, along every single bit of skin he can reach, and then you feel a bare hand reach up between your legs and begin to rub slow circles around your clit.  His other arm pushes against your lower back and you’re forced into the corner even more, your naked breasts pressing hard against cool metal and feeling his hot mouth and strong fingers work you closer to the edge from behind.
You’re panting into the helmet, your hips arching back to feel that stimulation on your clit better, and as his fingers move over it slow and strong, you feel a soft vibration against your skin and you realize he’s moaning into you.  The knowledge sparks a different kind of heat through you and makes you suddenly go still and tense right here.  If he stays just like this for even just a few more seconds, you’re going to cum.
“Din, I’m gonna cum,” your voice warbles inside the enclosed steel—just as his touch decides to abandon your body.  You groan loudly in distress, completely alone without his hands or mouth on you anymore, but all he likely hears is the silence of the hull and the way your palm smacks against the wall with it.  You were so close, everything feels like it’s pulled up so tight and painful and it hurts—
A hand clutches your hip and then a thick cock is suddenly pushing up against your soaking wet entrance, going to alleviate that twisting discomfort.  Your eyes roll back and your whole body goes limp as he slowly eases forward and breaks you open, fitting himself deep inside where you love to feel him most.  Your hands claw down the walls with a swell of bliss as he pulls out and then starts thrusting—and fuck, you love this.  You love the way he’s trapping you up against the corner and making you see stars at the same time, the way he’s supporting your weight but crushing down into you, too.  It makes you go boneless and want to riot simultaneously, groaning loud into the quiet abyss as he gives you what you both desperately needed.
One of his hands sinks down between your legs to play with your clit again, while a slick finger presses up against your ass and you gasp as he slowly penetrates you there, too.  Din’s hips work steady and powerful behind you, pushing you into the wall with every desperate thrust, using the arm shoved between your legs to support you as well as stimulate, and you just feel yourself move into a different place.  You don’t have a name for it but it feels like hyperspace.  Silence so loud it feels suppressing, faster than anything light can touch, nowhere and everywhere, hurtling towards something you can’t see but know lies in the distance.  You can tell he’s still fucking the tension out of his body, you can feel him working another wet finger inside you and stretching the virgin muscles back there, but every sensation begins to slowly blur together in a wicked uprising of ecstasy.
You don’t know where you are anymore, just that his fingers keep rubbing your clit and you think he's trying to ease a third into you when your destination abruptly arrives.
You nearly collapse when you cum, contracting so hard around his cock and fingers that you cry out unexpectedly—and because of the helmet, you think it’s just as unexpected for him.  He stops moving—everything stops moving besides you.  Your hips stutter backwards into his stationary body, dragging your clit back and forth against the tips of his unmoving fingers and fucking him as best you can.  It shatters white hot and goes straight through to your soul, wringing pleasure and wetness between your legs in waves.
Your knees are knocking against each other when Din pulls out, his cock still deliciously hard and now soaking wet with your cum, and then they just suddenly decide to give up without warning.  You don’t fall necessarily, but you do slowly slide down the wall like a slug and Din follows you to the floor instead of holding you up any longer.  His sternum moves quick and heavy against your back as he breathes and then suddenly the same switch at the base of his helmet is flicked, and sound bursts into existence all at once.
He’s panting.  Harsh breaths behind you that match the rapid pace of his chest, and the ambient noise of the rest of the hull.
“Can you hear me?”  He gasps, sounding fucking wrecked, and you nod the helmet against the wall while gravity and exhaustion and his beskar chestplate squishes you into it.  “P-Put up a fight if you want me t-to stop, p-please—” he rasps out, almost the entire thing air and so close to cumming, and then his knees lift just slightly and the blunt head of his cock presses against your other entrance.
And, if you wanted, you absolutely could.  He’s got you boxed into the corner but he’s not constricting your movements, he’s given you every ability to struggle.  You could easily throw an elbow back against his side, push against the wall to shove him away, smack at his arms or even just flail against his body in panic—you could do one or all of those things to signal him to stop and you know he’d do it immediately, he’s asking you to.  You could struggle.  If you wanted.
Instead, you just grab hold of the beskar strapped to his thigh and drop the helmet to your chest, nearly vibrating with the thrill and preparing yourself for it.  You know he’s gotta be inches away from orgasm, you know from the tone of his voice that he’s right there on the edge and it’s not like it’s going to last a long time.  Thanks to him, you also feel like you’re just as slick and wet back there as you are between your legs, stretched open by his fingers while you came all over him.  You want nothing more than to give this to him, to let him be the only person in the universe that knows how you feel this way.
When you pointedly do not put up a fight and even go so far as to arch your lower back for him in presentation, Din curses and his fingers begin jerking back and forth over your sensitive clit once more.  It might normally be too much for you, but your body is sparking with lust and quickly acclimates to the stimulation, learning to burn and ache for it, too.  Fuck, it feels so good, you tense and melt into it at the same time, letting him ease you back up to that peak once more.
He pushes up against the tight ring of skin and you can’t fucking explain it—his fingers keep rubbing your clit and he’s slowly pushing into your ass and—
“I—I think I’m—” you suddenly lift the helmet to gasp out in surprise, forgetting he can’t hear you, “ngh—D-Din, I think I’m gonna c—”
He’s just barely able to breach the tight entrance and fit the head inside before he freezes—and even though everything happens consecutively, it’s all so rapid that it feels simultaneous.
Your hips could go forward, but they don’t.  Your body decides to send you backwards into him, pushing him inside nearly halfway all at once as your muscles lock down and just fucking strangle his cock.  Your piercing scream gets trapped in the silence of his helmet as you cum once more—painfully, madly and with every fucking part of you for him.  There’s maybe one or two mind shattering pulses of ecstasy before the rest of your body catches up and starts convulsing, and by then Din is already gasping and fumbling behind you, suddenly realizing what’s happening without hearing the sound of your ragged warnings and then ripping himself away just in time.
He punches out your name when he cums like you just fucking snapped him in half—his body hunches and the beskar digs hard into your back as warmth starts splattering along your skin.  You crumple while he shoves his hips up against your spine, riding and working the orgasm out of himself while yours just fucking obliterates you.  You think you whine his name—or a curse word or something, but it gets strained and your lungs lose air every time his powerful armored body humps you into the wall of his ship.
Finally he eases up and you just lay there and listen to the ringing in your ears.  Blissfully empty, still pulsing from cumming so hard and feeling like your bones just decided to stop existing and the rest of you was okay with it since you were already on the floor anyways.  You feel him shudder and twitch behind you, letting go of that last bit of tension until he too allows gravity to slouch his heavy torso over onto you.
You both stay like that for a while, until your eyes close and your everything below your waist goes numb.  Eventually you feel him shift and your head bobbles as the helmet is slowly removed, but a large palm cradles your chin to stop your face from slamming into the wall in exhaustion once it’s off.  You just continue to melt into the paneling like you’re nothing more than goo of a human being while he trades it back to its rightful place on his shoulders and tucks his cock back into his pants, before wrapping his arms around you and lifting you both up.  The floor and metal walls, once feeling like you and them were one, suddenly decide to disappear entirely as you’re hauled up into Din’s powerful arms.
He slowly carries your naked, fucked senseless body over to the fresher, and you squint your eyes open over his shoulder to see… he’s still got his rifle slung around his back while his cum is dripping down yours.  Not a single thing on him is out of place and you’re, well… a mess is a word that works.  Limp and doll-like, carried like your weight is practically nothing to him after years of having the densest armor known to the galaxy strapped to his body.
Setting you down is a mess, too.  At some point you think he just gives up and decides to return you to your humble floor abode with a patience and care unexpected from someone who just defiled you so thoroughly.  You hear the fresher door open and the faucet squeak, before he turns back around and crouches to your level.
“Stay here,” Din tells you lowly, his modulated voice coming gentle and warm through the sounds of water raining down against metal.  You don’t feel his touch directly, but your hair moves away from your face.  “I’ll be right back, okay—just stay here.”
Can do.  Easy.  He waits until you murmur a soft mhm to him before he leaves the tiny compartment, and then you soon hear his heavy footsteps ascending the ladder to the cockpit.
***
You don’t think you fall asleep, but the powering up of the Crest’s thrusters make you realize your eyes were closed.  Opening them barely qualifies as a squint though; you look around to see steam slowly filling the fresher, the water already running hot and welcoming in the small room.
You know you need to shower but you’re so fucking exhausted, you feel like you can’t even move your body.  You also know you can just do the same exact thing in there as you’re doing in here, you just need to muster up the energy necessary to get inside it and then fall back asleep.  He set you down in the small little space outside the shower door and then got everything set up for you, you can at least stand up and take a few steps.
Unfortunately, you might pick just about the worst time possible to plant your hands on the ground and work to struggle upright on all fours like a newborn animal.  The steady rise through Nevarro’s atmosphere pushes gravity down harder than you’re expecting—is he trying to fly quickly or are you just that dead-limbed?—and then of course, by the time you do manage to fight it and successfully get on two wobbly legs to hold yourself up, the subtle shift of the hyperdrive kicking in nearly knocks you back down again.  You stumble and grab the walls, bracing yourself against them and looking down at your knees in exasperation.  Come on, work.  Move forward.  Come on.
You’re glad he’s not here to witness this monstrosity, honestly.  Just opening the door and taking a few steps into the fresher is a feat—while you’re not in any pain and he didn’t leave any marks on you, you just feel… steamrolled.  Ran over by a truck.  Only having the strength to keep your feet beneath you as you finally move under the water and close the door behind you.
Oh, but this is wonderful.  This was such a good idea, he’s so fucking smart.  The shower falls warm and lovely against your body, wetting your hair and immediately heating you down to your bones.  You don’t move really at all—you kinda just stand there and slouch, closing your eyes against the spray and slowly breathing the mist into your lungs.  It feels so nice—not really restorative even though you like that word, it would imply the water provides you with any energy whatsoever.  It just feels like a comfort, a relief and sedative for your already wildly fatigued body.
You haven’t been in here for more than a minute or two when knuckles tap gently against the metal walls of the fresher, before the natural bass of Din’s unmodulated voice murmurs from somewhere beyond it.  “Hey.  Keep your eyes closed.”
How did he know?  You figured you’d be way ahead of him.  You’re standing but slumped over, wanting nothing more than to just say fuck gravity and pass out right here.  The walls are too cold to lean against now that you’re all toasty from the heat and steam, so you’re just unconsciously swaying on your feet, trying to balance the precedence of sleeping versus not falling over.  You don’t even comprehend the sudden flip of the light switch overhead beyond the fact that it makes it easier to snooze without being so bright behind your eyelids.
The door eventually opens at the very same time you realize you never answered him, but you just commit to the silence at this point.  It’s easy, you like it.  Soon you feel warm hands touch your shoulders, slowly spinning you around while you follow and hang your head, your neck not wanting to support it any longer, and then suddenly a bare chest is pressing up against you and powerful arms are wrapping around your body, and you can just lean all of your weight into him while your head rests right here on his shoulder.
He holds you without moving for a long time, keeping you just like this—your ear pressed against his skin while water rains hot and comfortable down your back.  Knowing you’re facing one of the walls, you crack your heavy lids just the slightest bit and finally notice the tiny compartment is dim and shrouded—the only light source is a single one coming from somewhere in the hull beyond the partially closed doorway.  It’s dark and quiet and you can barely see anything besides the metallic fresher walls and unfocused droplets chasing each other down Din’s naked skin.  Just you and him, flowing water with a sheet metal backdrop.
You think you spend an eternity like that and yet you still find yourself wanting another when he finally shifts, reaching over you to grab a bar of his generic soap but making sure to use the arm whose shoulder you’re not currently resting against.
It glides slow and hypnotic down your back, dragging up over your sides and then back down the curve of your spine.  He’s so sturdy and he doesn’t say a word while he does it, lathering it along your body and rubbing it into your skin.  His bar of soap, not yours.  They started out almost the same since you picked them up at the same vendor, but there’s just a slightly bolder and sharper scent to his that you recognize.  How the bar is far larger than yours because of how often he’s gone away.
Your eyes droop and you feel the water trail over your lips, dripping down your chin and pooling the dip of his collarbone.  The only other time you two shared this fresher was terrifying and he’s rewriting the memories right now, whether consciously or not.  Hot water, not freezing cold.  Standing upright and supporting you.  Heart beating strong under your ear, taking care of you this time until you can care for yourself.
You… you just worry so much more now, it’s becoming an issue.  You didn’t realize how much until you nearly lost him, and you know in your heart that he’s just going to go away again.  Throw himself into more danger, tempt death as always, risk his life for mere credits while all you can provide in return is this.  Skin to skin contact.  Someone to hold.  Someone who knows him, who knows the way he struggles between reaching out for a softness that life has always denied him and clinging to what is rough and familiar.  Someone to remind him that there’s still gentle and forgiving things in this galaxy that won’t disappear when he’s gone, and that he can always come home to them, as long as he can manage to find his way back.
Something sad tugs hard at your chest.  You want to tell him not to leave.  Again, again—you want nothing more than to beg him to stay.  You don’t have anything better to offer instead; if he asked you how it would work, how you imagine your lives would go if he wasn’t hunting quarry on a constant timetable, you’d be hard-pressed.  You don’t know.  But you know what you want to say, because it’s two words you shouldn’t say but always find yourself needing to say regardless.  
Don’t go.
But, instead of two words, you give him three.
Instead of asking him not to leave you again… in the haze and comfort of his arms, you think you just tell him that you love him.
And… you also don’t think the water falling down on the two of you is loud enough to cover it up this time.
It’s not ideal, you know.  You know.  From his point of view, he just got finished releasing all sorts of pent up tension on you, overwhelming your body with the strength and power of his in a way that normal people wouldn’t take as an expression of affection.  But you know him.  You know that he finds it much easier to express the things he feels in a physical way, which is why there’s a bar of soap against your back right now instead of his voice in your ear, telling you all the things you’ve always wanted to hear from him in return.  You know that sex is how this all began and it’s likely just the closest link between roughness and sweetness that he can really put his hands on, something that can fit him equally as well as it fits you.  Love is different, it’s thrilling and scary.  Even to someone like him, who lives everyday of his life surrounded by thrilling and scary things, who’s seen more bloodshed and suffering and pain than you can ever even imagine, you know that it’s scary.
Din doesn’t say anything back to your confession, and truthfully, not a single part of you was expecting him to.  It wasn’t said so he could say it back.  It just is.  Some things don’t need explanations, they just are.  You’re okay with that.
But, you eventually come to realize that he always waits until you’re just on the very edges of sleep, holding out until your blurry vision and fading consciousness can trick you into thinking you only imagined it.  You won’t ever figure out if it’s purposeful or if he just needs that long to find what he wants to say.
Another soft, lilting sentence in a language you wouldn’t be able to translate, even if you could pick out a single word.  It sounds so beautiful though, regardless of how mysterious and far away its meaning feels.  There’s something hidden underneath.  You ache to know what it is.
But you’re so tired.  You just whine softly against his shoulder, not being able to transform the thoughts into sentences anymore but hoping he understands regardless.  He can’t just resort to bearing his soul in Mando’a all the time now, especially when you’re always on the verge of sleep when he chooses to do so.
But at some point, his arms subtly tighten around you and the pressure is one of the only things that’s keeping you awake anymore.
“I won’t ever ask you to,” he says to you, the quietness of his baritone getting lost in the gentle spray and your looming slumber.  “I’m…  not allowed to ask.  I can’t.”
Your expression twitches just the slightest bit against his shoulder in confusion, wondering distantly what word or sentence you must’ve missed from before that would make him make sense.  Was that a translation?  Or a continuation?
But then your wet hair is slowly moved away from your nape and his head tilts down, face pressing into your neck and voice lowering until it’s nothing more than a breath against your skin, nothing more than a confession that he couldn’t ever say out loud with his full chest.  It’s a secret he only ever wants you to know, a truth he’s choosing to admit to even though you could ruin him with it.  You have no idea how much, you won’t know for a long time just how much power he’s giving you by telling you this one very simple thing.
“But whenever you want to look,” Din finally whispers, the only version of I love you too that a Mandalorian knows.  “You can.”
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littlepadika · 3 years ago
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Calling Home (5) | Frankie Morales x Reader
Summary: You are a receptionist at the VA. Frankie Morales keeps calling. Yearning ensues…
Rating: E (18+ only)
Warnings: age gap (legal), dilf!frankie, praise kink, voice kink, size kink, low self esteem, discussion of addiction/ptsd/trauma/triggers, divorce drama, no use of y/n, no beta reader, DDLG🎀, unprotected piv sex, oral m and oral f, hickies galore👅, mild BDSM (cuffs⛓, choking).
Masterlist here
AN: Whatta ride... but all things come to an end🥺. i'm blown away by the support for this fic. Thank you all 💕.
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Chapter Five
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frankie had his own mental list of stuff he needed to do before you would arrive. He dunged out his closet to make room for your clothes. It was long overdue. He had a lot of things he didn’t wear anymore that needed to go. He went out and bought some more plates and silverware since his two plates and Rosie’s plastic plates would not do. He no longer looked around his home with a sense of loneliness, now he pictured all the places you could fit in. He could see you reading by the window in the living room so he bought a comfy new chair to put there. He noticed your small plant collection in your apartment and thought you’d maybe like a bigger one in the back yard so he bought a planter box.
He was reading your novel, titled Our Little Kingdom, while your candle burned. You didn't give it to him at first. While you were in the bathroom and Frankie washed your dishes, he noticed a stack of papers poking out in the trash. It was your manuscript. When you came back and saw him reading it you tried to take it back but Frankie insisted and you caved. It was good. Frankie wasn't just saying that because he loved you. He could see how great writers had influenced you and still it was uniquely your voice. The story, too, was compelling. He couldn't help but imagine you as the protagonist as she was just as sweet and clever.
You were making good progress on your list. You had put in your two weeks notice and started to applying to jobs in Miami. You enjoyed working with veterans so you hoped you could do something similar again. As two weeks went by you were disappointed you still hadn't heard back from job interviews. Packing was a little more difficult. You didn’t know what was worth taking and what was worth leaving. You knew Frankie had most everything already so it was a matter of picking your most special things. The rest you were slowing taking to Goodwill in batches.
You had completely forgotten you sent your book in to publishers until a flurry of emails came in on the same day.
Frankie woke up in the middle of the night to his phone ringing. He sat up pulling the phone towards him. It was you. Why would you be calling so late? Maybe something was wrong?
“Frankie?” You sounded congested. He heard a sniffle. Frankie furrowed his brow at that.
“Hey. Is everything all right?”
“ They-they-“ you could barely get it out “they rejected me.”
“Who?”
“All of them. All of the book agencies.” You threw yourself onto your bed, hot tears running down your face.
“Oh no! I’m so sorry, sweet pea.” Frankie didn’t know whether to be sad or angry. He thought your book was amazing. He sat up and flicked on the bedside lamp. “They’re idiots. Every one of them.”
“They’re experts, Frankie.” You felt more tears leak from your eyes. “Maybe I’m just not a good writer. Maybe-Maybe-" You hiccuped and low cry slipped from your mouth. You covered your mouth, taking in raking breaths. It was agony to admit this to him when he believed in you most. You felt like you had let him down. Frankie's heart literally ached in his chest as he listened to your quiet weeping over the phone. He waited for you to continue, feeling his own eyes grow misty.
“Don’t disappear on me, little pea. Let me hear that voice of yours.”
You were unable to speak. Scared of what may come out. You felt like your walls were closing in around you and mocking you. How did you ever think you could be a writer like all your favorite authors? You were so stupid, you thought.
“I let you down.” You said shakily.
“No no no, little pea.” Frankie said quickly. “You could never let me down. I don’t need to a book agent to tell me you’re a good writer. I know you’re writing is beautiful and perfect. Just like you.”
His praise caused another wave of tears from you.
“Daddy…” You bawled.
“I hear you, baby.” Frankie heard his own voice shake with emotion. He never hated the distance more than he did in this moment. He needed to wrap you up in his arms. “Close your eyes, sweet pea. Use that big imagination of yours. Pretend I’m there with you.”
“Imagination isn’t good enough, daddy.” You blubbered, fat tears slipping from your eyes.
“I know, baby.” Frankie’s heart was breaking. “But try for me okay?”
You clamped your eyes shut and tried to focus in on his breathing on the other end of the phone. Frankie did the same, closing his eyes.
“Good, sweet pea. Focus on daddy.” He wished he was there to comfort you, wrap you up in his arms and shield you from the cruel cruel world. “I’m next to you. I’m holding you so tight.”
“Hold me tighter!” You begged holding your pillow pet to your chest.
“Okay. I just did.” Frankie whispered closing his eyes as if it would be more real. “Feel that?”
“Yeah…” A moment went by as you steadied your breathing. Tears eventually stopped falling, drying against your cheeks. Frankie’s steady breathing anchored you.
“I loved your book. It was really really good. And fuck it, I’ll publish it myself.” Frankie couldn't help but raise his voice.
“Silly.” You sniffled.
“I’m serious, sweet pea. Who needs those stuck up assholes.”
“Hmm yeah, you’re right.” You agreed, voice softening with sleepiness. You pushed your face into your pillow. You could still smell Frankie if you really focused. "I miss you, Frankie."
"I miss you, too."
"I still haven't heard from any jobs. And- maybe I'm just not good enough and-" You felt more tears fill your eyes.
"Shhh shhh" Frankie interrupted "Listen to me. You are the best. The right thing will turn up i'm sure of it."
"But it's the only thing left on the list!"
"I know..." Frankie pulled over your copy of the list that you wrote for him. He had crossed things off as you reported to him. "Let's see if they get back to you tomorrow." Maybe he was being too hard on you, making you get a job first. He only wanted to put it on there to give you some independence over the move. He didn't want you to feel like you had nothing to do once you got here.
Frankie waited until your breathing evened out. He called your name quietly. When he got no response he assumed you fell asleep. He didn’t want to hang up. He missed you so fucking much and he felt helpless.
When he woke up the next morning, he said goodbye to Rosalia as usual, called in sick, and started driving north. Fuck the list. You were coming home with him now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of course Frankie called you telling you he was on his way. You felt bad for making him miss work but your excitement overpowered any guilt. You set a timer for 14 hours and started packing with new energy. Your eyes were still puffy from your tears last night. But you repeated what Frankie said like a mantra. Who needs those stuck up assholes. There were tons of ways to self publish nowadays. It didn’t have to be through a publishing house.
When you ran out of things to clean up and pack, you watched out the window waiting to see Frankie’s blue pick up. You had changed into sleep shorts and a t shirt. While you had a plan to dress more sexy you ended up accidentally packing that surprise in one of the boxes earlier today. It was getting dark when Frankie finally pulled up. He looked exhausted but still… Frankie. He was wearing his favorite hat and grey t shirt. You ran down to the street to meet him. He’s pulling empty boxes from the bed of the truck when he sees you sprinting towards him.
“Sweet pea!” He smiled as you launched yourself into his arms. “Oof.” You buried you face in his shirt inhaling his scent. He rubbed your back affectionately enjoying having you back in his arms. “Aw… it’s okay. It’s okay now.” He murmured when he heard you sniffle. He oddly felt his chest swell with pride at how much you missed him. He never had to worry about how you felt about him. He peeled your head off him by stroking your head. You looked up at him with a watery smile. “You ready to blow this popsicle stand?”
You snickered at his dad phases. “I’m ready. Well… I still have some stuff I need to pack up. Too heavy.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” Frankie kissed you chastely. You pulled him in for more though, fisting his shirt in your hands. “Mmm no no. Work first. Play later.” Frankie pulled back. You pouted but have to agree with his logic. The faster you packed the faster you could leave.
Back in your apartment Frankie got to work taking apart your bed and dresser. You finished packing your clothes and dusting.
“Hey what’s this? It was under the bed.” Frankie walked over holding a gift bag with pink tissue paper sticking up.
“Oh…” You quickly grabbed it away. “That’s supposed to be a surprise. For Rosie.”
“You got her a present?” Frankie was touched by your thoughtfulness.
“Yeah I mean… I figured it might make her like me more.”
“She already likes you, but she can never have too many toys.” Frankie stepped further into your space. You realize at that moment how sweaty he was from moving all the furniture. It was so late at night and you were both exhausted but the sudden rush of his thicker smell made you feel wide awake. “Can I see what you got her?”
You handed the package back over, watching him gingerly move the tissue paper to the side. His eyes softened when he saw the pink unicorn pillow pet sitting in the bag. A mini version of yours.
“Am I too presumptuous making us matching? I don’t know if she likes unicorns and-" Frankie cut you off, dropping the bag and kissing you up against the wall. He wasn't even sure what part of that turned him on, just your sweetness and wanting to be a part of his family. He held your face in his hands, his grip forcing your mouth open. You felt yourself start to grow wet. You loved when he just went caveman on you. Sometimes he didn’t have the words to express how much he loved you so he reverted to touch; to deep kisses and deep thrusts. His hands trailed down your exposed legs so he could lift you up on his hips. You held onto his shoulders as he swung you around. The bed was gone, the couch was gone.
"Fuck. Hang on."
You laughed as he ran you out to the kitchen to set you down on the counter. You pawed at his pants trying to undo his belt, but Frankie was faster, unhooking your bra from under your shirt and then pulling your shirt over your head. He took your hand and placed it over his large bulge between his legs.
“Feel what you do to me…” He gritted through his teeth his chest rising and falling sharply.

“Frankie- oh my god-please let me” You pulled he belt loose. At first he stops you. “I didn’t get to last time. Please?” He bit his lip considering your plea. He really just wanted to give and give and give to you. But he had been mean last time, not letting you touch his cock. So this time he doesn’t stop you as you unbutton his pants and pull him out of his boxers. You licked your lips as his cock fell into your hand, curving up towards you.
You hopped off the counter, getting onto your knees before him. “Take off your shirt… please?” He obliged. You kissed down his belly feeling it tighten against your lips. He watched you with fire in his eyes, his mouth slightly parted. You pushed the rest of his pants and boxers down. You stroked him slowly with both hands.
“You have to tell me what you like…” You held his cock and licked a long stripe from the base to the head making him moan weakly. You repeat the motion adding a few kitten licks at the end, lapping up the stray drops of salty precum. Frankie was struggling to think let alone speak. He gripped the countertop above you, his other hand going to the back of your head.
“Just- go slow.” You followed his instructions, slowly taking his length in your mouth. “Good-good girl.” He clenched his jaw staring down at the sight. Your hot mouth felt like heaven and your innocent eyes staring up at him was just the cherry on top. You took his dick as far as you could before you choked lightly. You were by no means an expert at giving blowjobs but you were frustrated you couldn't go further. Your jaw was already aching from his girth.
“Mm don’t hurt yourself, baby.” He hissed unable to hold his hips still, he jerked a little against you making you whine. “Come back up, remember to breathe.”
You slowly pulled off his cock before going down again. Frankie’s hand on your head gently guided you so you didn’t hurt your throat. You added suction, applying pressure on the underside of his cock. You started to find what he liked based on his sounds. You still couldn’t take him all the way in your mouth, tears gathered in corner of your eyes from the effort. Your hand pumped the rest that wouldn’t fit.
“Oh fuck.” Frankie gasped his hips jerking again making his cock slide back into your mouth. You moved one of your hands to his hips looking up at him to say it was okay. “Are you-you want me to fuck your mouth, sweet pea?” You nodded eagerly. You put one of you hands on his length where he wouldn’t fit. He gathered up some of your hair in a makeshift ponytail and slowly thrust into your mouth. Like he always did, he waited for you to nod and give him the okay. When you did, he couldn’t help the growl that left his throat. Drool leaked from your mouth onto your chest as he sped up using your head more forcefully. You were sure you had soaked through your panties. It turned you on so much to see him take control, use you for his pleasure, but still his grip on you was firm and gentle. Every grunt went straight to your pussy. “Such a good girl letting me use this hole, too.” He rasped. “You’re crying around my cock.”
“Mmhm” You hummed around his dick making him groan. He was close. He was battering the back of your throat. You could recognize the furrowed brow and the tightening of his balls. You intensified your ministrations.
“Good girl, good-I’m gonna cum in your little mouth.” He pulled out of your mouth with a wet pop. “Stick out your tongue, sweet pea.” He ordered. You obeyed, watching greedily as he fisted himself harshly the tip of his cock hitting your tongue. You placed your hands on either side of his tummy, anticipating his load. His chest was flush and his eyes were fluttering shut. When he came he yanked your head up harshly as cum splashed onto your tongue. You loved this perspective, watching his face contort with pleasure. You tried to take every drop but some dripped down your chin. “Swallow.” Frankie ordered roughly still maintaining his grip on your head. You swallowed, his warm cum sliding down your throat.
“Thank you, daddy.” You smiled up at him, wiping some of the stray cum off your chin. He let go of your hair, now stroking your head then your jaw. “Did I do well?”
“So good.” He chuckled and helped you stand, his breath still ragged. You squirmed pressing your thighs together. The move not missed by Frankie. “Did sucking my cock make you wet, sweet pea?”
You nodded shyly before saying “It’s okay though. You don’t have to-it’s late and we have a long drive tomorrow.”
“You’re always looking out for me but what kind of man would I be if I left you all needy. But you have to ask for it, sweet pea.”
“I kinda just want your mouth if that’s okay?” You asked feeling too tired for a full round of sex.
“Of course.” Frankie smiled. “Your mattress is still in the bedroom.” He led you in and helped settle you on the center of the mattress. He pulled your shorts and underwear off, staring at your slick reddened pussy. "You soaked your little panties, sweet pea. Did you touch your little flower while I was gone?" Frankie asked, pulling apart your legs.
"I-I tried to. But it wasn't the same."
"How come, little pea?" His patronizing tone had your cunt clenching. He was teasing you.
"It wasn't your fingers. I needed you." You huffed, trying to push his head down onto you.
"Mmm poor thing." Frankie chuckled, the rich sound giving you goosebumps. He felt his cock start to harden again despite you just sucked the soul out of him moments ago. He slowly licked up your slit moaning at the taste of you. Your head tipped back as he he slowly inserted a finger into you. "Eyes on me." He instructed. You forced your head back down so you could make eye contact. "Play with your tits for me." You obeyed, squeezing the flesh in your hand. He returned to his task, taking your clit in between his lips, quickly escalating your climax. Your hands never stood a chance. He inserted a second finger, curling it against you. They were so thick and long it hit that spot deep inside you it made you gush.
"Oh my god. Daddy-I'm-" You teetered on the precipice your breath caught in your throat. Your entire body erupted in flames as your mouth open in a silent scream. Frankie's eyes widened as your pussy strangled his fingers before fluttering uncontrollably. Your cum dripped onto his hand, he quickly replaced his fingers with his tongue trying to catch it all.
"That's it." He felt you finally take a shaking inhale. "Breathe, sweet pea. Breathe." Exhaustion hit you hard as every muscle relaxed.
"I'm sleepy..." You slurred.
"It's okay. You can go to sleep." Frankie leaned up kissing you, smearing your slick all over your mouth. He returned to licking your pussy less aggressively though. "I got you."
You nodded before drifting off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning you dump the last of your stuff at goodwill, packed the truck, turned in your key, and hit the road. You were bouncing in your seat with excitement. You hadn’t ever traveled south of DC. The landscape was beautiful. You and Frankie took turns driving, belting Fleetwood Mac on repeat. You forced Frankie to take obligatory selfies to remember the journey at rest stops or whenever the view was worthy. Over halfway to Miami you paused at a rest stop for a quick nap. Frankie was anxious to get you home and he didn’t want to stay put for too long. He was used to long drives and quick naps, but you weren’t. He didn’t want to exhaust you because there was so much he wanted to show you when you arrived. You laid across the backseat of the truck with your head in Frankie’s lap as the sun was going down.
In the early morning Frankie finished the drive. His own excitement increased when he was back in the city. You had your head nearly sticking out of the window looking at everything. You couldn’t believe how sunny and warm it was here. Frankie turned down a residential street. “Almost there.” He said. You buzzed in your seat.
Frankie made one last turn into a driveway. You instantly got warm feelings looking at the house. It was painted seagull grey with white trim. It was wonderfully symmetrical with two windows on the first and second floor with window boxes outside the first floor window. The front yard was nicely mowed.
“Your house is so cute!” You hopped out of the car, your legs enjoying the chance to stretch. The air smelled slightly salty being so close to the beach. The sun felt wonderful on your skin. You could have laid down in the grass and just fallen asleep.
Frankie showed you around his house with your hand in his, pointing out random things of importance in his giddy state. You followed him around with bright adoring eyes. Despite looking forward to this moment for a while, you barely looked at anything except for him. You could care less about where the tile for the fireplace came from. You didn’t remember Frankie’s story about how Will messed up his back moving in Frankie’s couch in because it was hitting you over and over again that you were home with Frankie. You didn’t pay attention to the story behind Rosie’s crib because Frankie was here with you. His warm hand holding you close like you may disappear. He was here with that damn cute excited voice as he showed you around his home, soon to be your home.
“Sweet pea? Earth to sweet pea?”
“Hmmm?” You smiled apologetically. Standing in the kitchen, the sun pouring in from the window above the sink bathed Frankie in golden light making him look ethereal.
“I said- we should start moving boxes in before it gets dark.”
“You haven’t shown me everything yet.” You realized.
“What did I miss?”
“Your room…” You swung your entwined hands back and forth.
“Our room, sweet pea.”
“So I won’t be sleeping on the floor?” You laughed.
“Never.” He kissed you briefly. “I just haven’t cleaned up in there and I need to make some space for your stuff and-“
“Frankie.” You quiet his rambling with another kiss. You couldn’t stop kissing him. “Your house is immaculate. That’s the room I want to see.”
He swallowed harshly before he led you up the stairs and down the narrow hallway to his room. While showing you the garden and the other rooms he was giddy but now he seemed more flustered. When you opened the door you could see why. Your candle was sitting on his bedside table. It was the first thing you saw when you walked in.
You immediately break away from him, going to inspect his bedside table. Glimpses of Frankie that made you love him all the more. Your candle, your books, your list, his sergeant pin, and an old alarm clock.
“Was this what you’re so embarrassed about?” You asked picking up the candle. It was almost used up. He averted his gaze. The back of his neck bright red which you recognized as a sign of his nervousness. “Frankie…” You set it down and took both his hands in yours. You couldn’t even convey what it meant to you. He had missed you that much that he burned your candle.
“I have the real thing now.” He said pulling you against his chest, dragging his nose over your cheek in reverence. You hummed in contentment. “This is our room, sweet pea. Our home.” He whispered.
“Our bed.” You added moving his hands to rest on your ass, wrapping your own around his neck.

“Eager girl.” He tutted, kissing just below your ear, squeezing your ass lightly.
“I can’t help it. I’ve waited so long, Frankie.” You tilt your head up resting your forehead against his.
“You’ll never have to wait again, princesa pea. I’m here.”
“Then I want you now.” You tugged him towards the bed. Falling down onto his comforter you were hit by a puff of his scent. Laundry detergent, old spice, and that indescribable musk that was Frankie. You barely got a chance to enjoy it before Frankie is falling on top of you. You laughed as he pulled you up the bed until you’re against the pillows. He's about to rip your clothes from you but-
“Wait wait- I have a gift for you.” His eyes lit up.
“Frankie…” You smiled “You didn’t have to get me anything.” He pushed away from you, walking over to his dresser. He pulled out a small package.

“Here.” He handed it to you.
You sat up. You felt guilty you didn’t get him a gift. You slowly peeled back the tape trying to save the paper. It was wrapped so nicely.
“Come on, rip it up. It’s just paper.”
“No… I wanna save it.” You argued, pulling it open finally. You stared down at the contents in your lap. It was a book with a pink cover and loopy writing. Our Little Kingdom. “Frankie… this is- this is my book.” You felt your eyes swim with tears.
“I know.” Frankie knelt in front of you. “I read it and it was so good. I wanted to get it bound. I was serious when I said want to publish it. I want to make it happen. But if you don’t want to at least we can enjoy it how it’s meant to be enjoyed.”
You flipped through the pages smelling the fresh paper. You reached the end and noticed Frankie had slipped in something as a book mark. It was a torn half of a check. “This is…”
“The check I tore up. I use it as a bookmark so I thought you would-“
You launched yourself at Frankie, a habit you learned from him when words were just simply not enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you woke up, you were surrounded by Frankie’s scent, warm sun hitting your face. Frankie wasn't there. You heard movement downstairs. You threw on the first shirt of Frankie's you could find. You practically skipped down the stairs, heart leaping when you saw Frankie in his PJ pants and nothing else sitting at the kitchen table. His body was lit up in the morning sun, he looked like a goddamn dream. He was shoveling some cereal into his mouth but he stopped when he noticed you. He still looked so sexy to you in this moment, his strong arms and big hand gripping the small spoon. His chest littered with small hickies you made. You blinked a couple of times wanting to imprint this image into your brain forever.
“What are you doing up so early?”
“The sun woke me up!”
“Shit. I would have made you some breakfast or something.”
“That’s okay.” You smiled going to stand in front of him. You kissed him, licking some of the milk from his lips. Your hands rested on his bare golden shoulders. You loved how wide they were and how solid and warm they felt.
“Mmm is this mine, sweet pea?” He tugged at the Fleetwood Mac shirt hanging down to your thighs.
“No, it’s another boys.” You teased.
“Don’t joke about that, little pea.” Frankie warned with a small swipe to your ass.
“I’m sorry, daddy.” You giggled. “I was only joking. No one else has cool shirts like you.”
“You want some cereal? I can also make eggs or pancakes or-“
“I want-” You slipped your hand over his pants. You could feel his slightly hard cock sitting below. “This.”
“You already had some last night and you still want more?” Frankie groaned his thighs spreading further around you. “I thought you’d be sore, sweet pea.”
“I am.” You admitted kissing him quickly. “but I still want you.”
“Mmm…” Frankie pulled your hand away watching you pout. “I think you need to eat something first.”
“No I don’t!”
“Come on, I’ll let you sit on your special seat.” He tapped his thigh. You debated this. You decided to do what he asked, not wanting to test your luck so early in the day. You hopped up on his lap wiggling back until his semi hard cock was pressed against your back. Your thighs sitting over his legs, your pussy peaking out from his shirt. Frankie rested his big hands on your bare thighs rubbing the skin back and forth. You closed your eyes enjoying his touch. You could feel his breath against your neck as he looked down at the sight.
“Do I look good on my special seat, daddy?” You asked looking up at him.
“Perfect, my little pea.” Frankie smiled. He pulled the cereal over and you popped a bite in your mouth. You didn’t normally like cereal but since Frankie asked…
“Okay, done. I’ve eaten.”
“Woah I hardly call that eating.” Frankie shook his head. He placed a hand on your stomach, fingers splayed out over the entire width almost. He applied a little pressure which had you squirming again. God his hands were so big and warm just above where you needed him. “I can feel little rumblings telling me you’re hungry, sweet pea.” You rock against him more intentionally making him catch his breath.
“Not for cereal.” You bit your lip.
“One more bite, sweet pea. For daddy?” He rubbed his beard into your neck which never failed to make you to laugh.

You took another spoonful of the soggy cereal before looking up at him for approval. He chuckled as you chewed quickly. You looked so cute with your cheeks full. It made cock ache.
“Good job, sweet pea.” He smirked when you swallowed it all. He lowered his hand down to cup your pussy which was already dripping. You hand flew to his thick forearm.
You melted against him as he rubs your clit slowly. Last night was hurried and desperate but now it was like he had all the time in the world. You listened to him take large inhale against your neck, smelling you.
“You look so beautiful, sweet pea. In my shirt. In our kitchen.”
“Fuck…” You moaned. His fingers felt so wonderful and thick against you. You fucking loved the sound of that. Ours.
“I’m gonna fuck you on our table.”
He lifted you up with ease, pushing your back down on the table. The sun coming through the window bathed your body in soft light. You looked divine. Frankie had your legs spread wide, tongue on that pussy before you could even blink. “Holy shit. Daddy!” Your hands clenched into fists at your side.
“Sweet pea.” Frankie pulled off, lips wetted by your slick. You blushed under his hot gaze. “Why don’t you pull my hair?”
You whimpered as he took your little fist and put it in his beautiful locks. “I want to but… the last person I was with didn’t like it.” You turned your head to the side trying to hide your embarrassment. His hair felt like silk in your hands.
“Hey-“ Frankie gently grabbed your chin and turned you to look at him. “You don’t have to hide anything from me.” He was leaning over you, invading all your senses, but of course the aspect that hit you hardest was his voice. Soft and reassuring. That rich baritone that made you fall in love in the first place. “Pull my hair, baby, I wanna know how well I treat this pussy. You won’t hurt me.”
You nodded feeling your eyes wet with tears. His affection never ceased to shock you. He kissed you, softening your worried look with each stroke of his tongue. When you were relaxed, he returned to your pussy. He was a fast learner for the times, applying the pressure you needed with his tongue while hitting that spot inside your walls with his fingers. Your hands were laced in his soft hair tugging almost unconsciously.
“Fuck-Daddy" You gasped feeling your breath. Your stomach tightened but you still felt like you weren't quite to your breaking point. "I can't- I need- I need-"
"What, sweet pea, what do you need?" Frankie paused, looking at you struggle above him. You grabbed his hand which was holding your hip and moved it to your throat. "Holy shit." Frankie's eyes widened.
"I need you to push me over-" you struggled to think of how to explain it but Frankie started applying light pressure over your throat making your cunt tighten around his fingers. The strain on your airway finally brought you to the edge. He returned to your clit and didn’t let up even as your walls clamped and gushed around his fingers. Didn’t stop as your back arched off the table, your toes curled, and your hands pulled his hair almost painfully. He let go of your throat when you tapped his wrist and your breath returned ragged and sharp, extending your orgasm. You brushed some of Frankie’s hair from his forehead and he looked up, making eye contact, as his lips suckled on your clit lightly. You didn’t say anything for a moment, feeling your body come down from that peak, basking in Frankie’s loving gaze between your legs. You felt boneless.
“I love you.” You murmured. Frankie surged up, capturing your lips in a wet kiss. He pulled back and kissed the happy tears falling from your eyes that you didn’t realize had fallen.
“I love you, too. I’m never letting you go.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m home.” You wrapped your legs around his waist, needing to feel that promise inside you. Needing his promise filling you up.
“Are you sure you’re not too sore?”
“I’m sure.” You ran your hand through his hair, now addicted to the feeling of it.
Frankie slowly eased himself into your pussy. It was harder without lube. You winced a little once he was fully inside. Fuck he was so big.
"Am I hurting you?" Frankie felt bad and started to pull out.
"No please." You arched your back trying to hold him inside. "I'm okay. I want- I want-."
"Sweet pea..." He bit his lip as he struggled to resist thrusting into you.
"And if I can't walk- then you can carry me." You wiggled your hips. Frankie couldn't help but laugh at that not that he minded carrying you around. "Please, daddy." You asked one last time as you dug your heels into his lower back. Frankie placed his hands on your waist and started fucking into you slowly, withdrawing almost all the way out before thrusting back in again.
“I’m so proud of you… taking my cock like a good girl.” He kissed you softly, moving to kiss a train down your neck to your nipples and back up. "You're home now." You nodded in agreement. "This is our little kingdom, sweet pea.” Your shallow breaths slowly transformed into moans. You felt your muscles relax a little and signaled he could start moving faster.
Needless to say the cereal on the table shook and spilled as he fucked you. Spilled milk on your table. His cum spilled inside you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frankie enjoyed hosting so much since Rosie’s birthday he wanted to have a Fourth of July barbecue. With your help he took the decorations to the next level. Hanging fairy lights over the patio, and renting a bouncy castle for the kids. In an act of irrational niceness, you had said it was okay if Laura came by, that way Rosalia would be there too.
Frankie was clear he had no desire to hide you. He wanted to show you off. Still, you dreaded meeting Frankie's ex. Rosalia had warmed to you quickly even preferring you to hold her. You already loved her so much. Today she wanted you to follow her everywhere and watch her play. Frankie was stuck behind the grill but he still could watch his girls playing. You were wearing a lovely red sundress which Frankie was looking forward to stripping off. It brushed your thighs in the breeze and it was perfect height for Rosalia to tug on when she wanted to be picked up.
“You’ve done a great job with the decor.” Laura appeared at Frankie’s side.
“Thanks.” Frankie smiled tightly. Her surprised tone confirmed that she always underestimated him.
“You’ve been happier lately.” Laura studied Frankie.
“I guess.” Frankie shrugged turning one of the hot dogs for something to do.
“It just has me remembering the old days. Before everything with you happened.” Frankie prickled at that last statement. Everything with you. She always put it on him totally forgetting how she also made things worse.
“Frankie?” You appeared at his other side, eyeing Laura warily and doing little to hide your dislike. You had seen from yards away how Frankie tensed up, looking down. You wouldn’t let that slide so you went over. Finally removing your glare from his ex wife you look up at him, laying a reassuring hand over his forearm. “Uh- people are getting hungry. How soon until it’s done?”
“It’s ready now.” Frankie smiled down at you, instantly feeling more at ease. His answer let you know he was okay.
“Great I’ll wrangle everyone.” You smiled before darting back to the crowd.
“Who is that?” Laura frowned. “Someone's babysitter?”
“No.” Frankie shut off the grill facing his ex wife face to face. “She’s my girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend?” Laura sounded skeptical. “She’s 12.”
“She’s a woman.” Frankie corrected her. “A woman I love very much.” He wasn’t going to listen to anyone look down on you.
“You should have talked to me before you brought her around Rosie.” Laura huffed, putting a hand on her hip.
“You had no problem parading your boyfriends around during our divorce.” Frankie shot back quickly looking to make sure they couldn’t be heard. “It’s in the court records so I doubt you want to bring it up.”
“Frankie…” Laura seemed to regret what she said.
“Let’s just… move on.” Frankie said as people started to draw near.
“Papa!” He heard Rosie squeal, toddling towards him.
“Rosie!” He picked her up, his anger instantly melting away. “Ready for your hot dog?”
As Frankie and the others started filling up their plates Laura crept closer to you as you were cleaning up some of the kid’s mess by the pool.
“Excuse me. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Laura.” She extended her hand. She was taller than you. Her face was tight as if she was holding in her sneer.
“Hi.” You decided to be nice, shaking the woman’s hand. You introduced yourself.
“So… you and Frankie. “
“Yes.”
“How long has that been going on?”
“A few months.” You said keeping it vague.
“And it’s going well?”
“Yes.” You grew annoyed by her vague questioning. Obviously it was going well since you were here. Her eyes were the total opposite of Frankie's. Hard and cold and icy blue. You quietly thanked god that Rosalia had inherited Frankie's eyes.
“Hmm he’s not doing that crazy thing anymore?”
“What thing?” You frowned.
“Well one time while we were together he stayed up the whole night because he thought some criminal or something was after us.” Laura laughed cruelly. You wanted to slap her for her lack of sympathy. What was funny about Frankie’s fear? “The psychiatrist said there would be delusions but that was just too much.”
“I think I’ve heard enough.” You snipped, trying to keep at least a polite facade. There were people just a few feet away. You prayed the couldn’t hear.
“Hey I’m sorry.” She schooled her features. “Don’t think I’m cruel. It wasn’t easy being with someone like that. I’m trying to look out for you.”
“Thanks for that. I think I'm good though.” You finished picking up the last pool toy and walked away before Laura could say more. You wanted to turn back and say something mean but you were determined to be the bigger person. You didn’t want to start drama that would hurt Frankie and Rosalia. You spent a good minute in the garage after putting the toys back, positively fuming.
“Sweet pea?” Frankie interrupted your thoughts, joining you in the garage. “Aren’t you hungry?”
"I was just cleaning up.” You said though your hands were empty.
“I saw Laura talking to you.” He watched you warily. Fear lapped at him. What did Laura tell you...“Everything okay?”
“She just… a bitch.” You huffed. Your word choice made Frankie burst out laughing. “I’m sorry I know you married her but how? She’s awful and rude and judgmental.”
“I know.” Frankie quieted his laughter, pulling you into his chest. “It wasn’t meant to last.”
“Because she’s a bitch.” You grumbled into his chest making Frankie laugh again. His tummy bounced against yours with his laughter. You loved it. You thought again about what Laura said. How cruel she had been in the face of Frankie’s PTSD. “If she says one more rude thing I may have to smack her.”
“You’re hot when you’re possessive, you know that?” Frankie smiled tickling your sides. “Come on, we should get back before our guests start to notice.”
“Alright.” You agreed, taking his hand and following him out of the garage. You felt Laura’s eyes on you two when you came back to the yard. Frankie got your burger set up for you before doing his. It’s the simple things that got you going; how giving he is. You tried to hide your blush from the onlookers as Frankie asked you ketchup or mustard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once everyone went home you and Frankie laid out a blanket in the back so you could watch the fireworks happening on the beach a mile away. He was quiet, at least more than he usually is. You didn’t know what to say to reassure him so again you reverted to touch. You placed your hand on his thigh reassuringly.
“Frankie?” You turned to him. “Do you want to talk about anything?”
“No.” He seemed taken aback by your question.
“Okay.” You moved closer to him until you were tucked into his side.
“You mean about Laura.” Frankie said after a moment. “Just- she didn’t say anything to you to make you upset right? She doesn’t get under my skin anymore. I don’t want her to get under yours.”
“She didn’t get under my skin.” You replied. She said nothing to make you insecure, just make you angry at her is all. “I’m just protective of you, you know. It seems like she was awful to you.”
“It’s fine.” Frankie shrugged.
“No.” You moved to sit on his lap, straddling him. “It’s not. You came back from your deployment probably in need of some comfort and all she gave you was judgment."
“She told you about that night.” Frankie hung his head in humiliation. You didn’t deny it. You didn’t want to upset him but part of you knew he should talk about this. Laura shouldn’t be the only one who holds this memory over his head. “It was my first night back. I just- I swore I heard gunfire. I was freaking out. I was probably acting really scary. I thought they came for me and she-Laura called the cops on me.”
“How could she…” You teared up on behalf of Frankie.
“I ran.” He continued, his voice thick. “I stayed a Will’s and calmed down. That was the end of the marriage.” He rubbed up and down your thighs under your dress. It always comforted him. You tried to think of what to say. His wife, the person who was supposed to love him the most, ostracized him and criminalized him.
Frankie was anticipating you to be afraid of him or push him away, but to his surprised you pulled him into a hug, holding his head against your neck like he was a child. He felt a sob rise in his throat and tears wet his eyes. You were so... kind. It was something he was still learning to accept and realize he deserved .
“You’re right.” You took a breath to relax yourself. “It doesn’t matter what she says. You’re mine now. Not hers.” You kissed Frankie on his nose then kissed his mouth.
“Always, sweet pea.” He rubbed his thumb over the area of your brow that furrowed in residual anger.
“I just wish there were some way…” you chewed your lip. “I have these-“ you pulled his dog tags out from where they hung between your breasts. “Reminds me I’m yours.”
“Maybe I need a necklace too.” Frankie smiled squeezing your thighs. That got you thinking…
“Can I try something?” You asked. Frankie nodded looking amused. You tugged at his shirt pulling it over his head. You never got over how broad he was. His toned arms were flexed holding himself up. You leaned forward planting a wet kiss on Frankie’s neck where it met his shoulder.
“Mmm gonna mark me up?”
You nodded and sucked harder till you were satisfied it would leave a mark. Pulling back you admired the red blooming where your mouth had been. It shouldn’t affect you as much as it did but you loved that he had a physical mark from you. He had scars here and there from cross fire and stab wounds. Some he wouldn’t go into detail. You loved them all but for once you wanted him to have a mark born out of love.
“I’m gonna give you a necklace, daddy.” You murmured tracing the path you would forge, down and around to the other side of his neck. You were gonna make hicks all around his neck like a chain. You leaned back down and planted another mark below and slightly to the right.
“Holy shit.” Frankie groaned, tilting his head back. He felt his cock start to harden under your attention. You slowly made your way across his hot skin until you had seven little wet hickies starting to show through the skin. You traced them with your finger, connecting the dots.
Frankie looked down, watching in fascination. His dog tags were a bittersweet thing, symbolizing his commitment to the military, but you wanted them. You wore them proudly, giving him more closure than 100 hours of therapy. But this... this new chain on his skin represented his belonging to you. “Beautiful, baby girl. Thank you.” He kissed you sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. You pulled away before he could deepen it. You start to lean down again like you were going to plant another hickie on him. He pushed you back and rolled the both of you over.
“Daddy! I wasn’t done yet.” You wiggled against the soft blanket.
“No it’s daddy’s turn now.” He pushed the straps of your dress down your arms, tugging your neckline down.
“But I already have a necklace.” You felt Frankie’s dog tags lying in your cleavage.
“Now you’ll have two. I spoil my girl like that.” Frankie teased. He kissed up and down your neck before settling on his starting place. When he started sucking it sent a lightning bolt straight to your clit. You gasped. You could feel him hard against your thigh, not fully yet. You rocked your hips impatiently, clutching his head against you.
“Be patient, baby.” He warned, pausing his work. You stilled your hips with a pout. “Good girl.” He resumed. You wanted to be naughty but you knew you’d never win that fight. Problem was you were loving his attention on your neck so much you couldn’t help but start grinding against his leg again. Your hand reached down and tried to stroke his hardening cock. Frankie pulled back, his lips swollen from giving you hickies. He was only halfway around your chest now.
“You’re being naughty…” Frankie chided, lightly slapping your hand away from him. You continued squirming under his gaze though you at least look apologetic. Frankie pulled away. “You don’t want your necklace?” Frankie pretended to be hurt.
“I’m sorry, Daddy.” You turned on the puppy dog eyes. “Just- your mouth feels so good.”
“If you’re not gonna behave I’m gonna have to make you behave.” Frankie’s mouth curled into a smirk. Your stomach flipped around in excitement. “Sit back up on your knees.” He ordered. You eagerly sat up on your knees, placing your hands on your thighs. Your dress hung around your waist. Frankie stood up and started undoing his belt. You got excited thinking he was going to let you suck his cock but instead he just pulled his belt from his pants and knelt down again. “Remember just say stop if you want to stop.” Frankie reminds you.
You nodded your eyes dilating, staring at the leather in his hands.
“Hands behind your back, baby.” He instructed. You obeyed your knees widening subconsciously. He tied his belt around your wrists. It’s not tight enough to hurt but you certainly could not move your hands without really trying. Frankie licked his lips, staring down at your vulnerable position. “Good little sweet pea.” He cooed. “Now you won’t be able to be naughty. What do you say?”
“Thank you, daddy.” You whispered feeling your cheeks burn at the depravity of your position. The smooth leather of his belt rubbed against your pulse point and Frankie’s smell filled your nose. You’re out in the open. Sure there was a fence but it still heightened your arousal. You were dripping you were sure of it. He knelt before you again to finish his hickies. He held your hair pulling it back to give himself more room.
You tried to lift up your arms multiple times but got stopped by the belt. You whined as he sucked another mark into you and you couldn’t get any stimulation in this position. Frankie let you moan and whine for him but he didn’t stop his mission. He finally pulled back, his hooded eyes evaluated at his work.
“Look at it, baby.”
You looked down at the curved line of hickies running from collarbone to collarbone. “Thank you, daddy, for my necklace. I love it so much.” You looked at his chest. You were matching now. Your lust was momentarily paused as a fresh wave of adoration washed over you. It was so much deeper than sex. Frankie noticed your change in expression and kissed you softly, bringing you back to the moment.
“You sat still for me so good. Now you can ask for what you want.” He strokes your hair softly.
“I wanna-I wanna suck you cock please?”
“Are you sure?” Frankie smiled. “You don’t want my mouth on you or-"
“No.” You shook your head. The emotions swirling in you from lust to love made you hungry for one thing. “I wanna make you cum in my mouth.”
“Fuck.” He groaned before kissing you hard, licking into your mouth. He never had someone as giving and kind and protective of him as you. He could have cried but there was no need because you were his forever. No yearning just living. He reached around to pull off the belt but you stopped him with a small voice.
“Leave it on.”
“Jesus fucking christ.” Frankie stood quickly. You sat up further, your hands still restrained behind your back. Your head was tilted up at him, your dress bunched around your waist, it was the most beautiful fucking sight.
Red blue and white fireworks dazzled the sky above. He picked you up bridal style and carried you inside as quickly as he could while you giggled in delight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Things started clicking into place like you were growing along some metaphorical ladder. You were finally where you needed to be. You got a job working at the VA in Miami, running their re-entry program. A small publishing house in Miami loved your book and agreed to publish it for a short run. Frankie took some money out of the Colombia account to cover the rest of the contract. Frankie had the book for sale at the shop pushing it on anyone who would enter. He was so proud of you. And that was all that mattered to you.
Frankie unironically planted sweet pea in the garden, telling you how they are slow to grow, but their delicate flower and sweet smell is worth the wait; just like you. Sweet peas were climbers, with the right support, they would bend to any shape. You knew you could go as high as the sky with Frankie by your side.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Taglist: @floraandfrost @agingerindenial, @heythere-mel, @icanbeyourjedi, @linnie0119, @pedrosmustache, @thisshipwillsail316, @peterhollandkait, @leias-rebelion, @phoenix-of-loki, @prettypedros, @kennedywxlsh, @punkerthanpascal, @the-witty-pen-name, @twentyfirstcenturyfox, @madslorian, @sarahjkl82-blog, @bison-writes, @lightning-fast54, @maievdenoir, @nicolethered, @kenoobiwan, @danniburgh, @janebby, @dihra-vesa, @yespolkadotkitty, @ilikechocolatemilkh, @headinthestarz, @tanyaherondale, @christina-loves, @dobbyjen, @fangirl-316
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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 years ago
Text
If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment
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Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...
Masterlist
Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader
Word Count: 6,100ish
Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment
A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!
________
“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”
“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”
“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”
“Really?”
“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”
“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.
“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”
“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”
“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”
“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.
“Yeah. You alright?”
“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”
“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”
“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”
“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”
“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”
“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.
“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”
“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.
“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”
“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.
“Twenty years, why?”
“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.
“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.
“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”
“You got that fancy computer though.”
“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”
“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.
“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.
“Debatable.”
“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said. 
“Are you any good?” he asked.
“No.”
“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”
“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”
“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”
“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”
“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”
“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.
“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath. 
“You okay?” 
“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”
“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”
“No. Why?”
“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”
“That was Dee’s hoodie.”
“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”
“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”
“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.
“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.
“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”
“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”
“This Is Us?” you asked.
“Supernatural?”
“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said. 
“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”
“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”
“I will Y/N. Promise.”
Friday Night
“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”
Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.
“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.
“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders. 
“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.
“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”
She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.
“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.
“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.
“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”
“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”
“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”
“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”
“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”
“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”
“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”
“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”
“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”
“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”
“It’s my adorable face,” he teased. 
“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”
“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”
“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
The Next Night
You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.
He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.
“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.
“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”
He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.
“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.
You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.
“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”
“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.
“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.
“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”
“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”
He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.
“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.
“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”
“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.
“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.
“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”
He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.
“This is fucking awesome,” he said.
“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”
“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”
“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”
“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.
“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”
“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.
“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”
“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”
“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”
“Hm?”
“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.
“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.
“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”
“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”
“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.
“If it’s a problem-“
“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.
“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”
“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.
“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.
“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.
“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”
“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”
“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”
“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.
“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.
“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”
“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.
“Now that’s just sad.”
“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.
“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.
“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“
“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.
“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said. 
“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”
“I’m still sorry.”
“You don’t...talk about her much.”
“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”
“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head. 
“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”
“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”
“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.
“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”
“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”
“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.
“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled. 
“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.
“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you’d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”
“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”
“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.
“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”
“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.
“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”
“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”
“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”
“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”
“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.
“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”
“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”
“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”
“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”
“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”
“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”
“No,” you said.
“No? Why not?”
“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”
You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.
“What?” you snapped at him.
“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”
“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”
“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”
“This is my part of the house.”
“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”
“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”
“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”
“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”
He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.
“What are you doing?” you breathed out.
“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.
“The kids-”
“Not the kids.”
“I don’t remember,” you said quietly. 
“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it. 
He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.
“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”
“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”
“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”
“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.
“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”
“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.
“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”
“Oh.”
“Cause he’s kinda me.”
“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”
“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”
“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.
“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...” 
He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath. 
“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”
“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.
“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.
“All of the above.”
“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,” you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”
“Absolutely,” he said.
“Good,” you said.
“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”
“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”
“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”
“Normally the best course of action,” you said.
“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”
“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”
“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”
“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”
“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”
He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.
You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.
But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids. 
“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”
“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”
“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”
“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.
“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.
“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”
“Is there any other kind?” you said.
“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”
“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.
“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”
“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.
“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”
“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”
“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”
“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.
“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”
“How can you know that?”
“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”
“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.
“Are you ready to try this?”
You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.
“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”
“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”
“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.
“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.
“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed. 
“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk. 
“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.
“I hope not,” he said. 
“Do they know? You want to date?”
“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”
“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”
“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.
“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.
“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”
“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”
“Want help?” you asked.
“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you. 
“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.
“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.
“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”
“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple. 
“Night Y/N,” she said.
“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut. 
“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.
“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”
“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”
“Thinking about what?” you asked.
“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”
“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.
“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said. 
“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”
You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.
“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”
_______
A/N: Read Part 4 here!
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meltwonu · 4 years ago
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| 𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔩 𝔦 𝔪𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 |     [CHAPTER 5]     [FINAL]
pairing; fratboy!wonwoo x reader
this chapter’s notes; fratboy!wonwoo, dom!wonwoo, restraints, blindfolds, daddy!kink, dirty talk, sex toys, using panties as a gag, forced orgasms, squirting! 🥴💕oMG YOU GUYS I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER WTF 😭😭😭 I just wanna say thank you so much for all the love and support you all have given me while writing Caffeine and Until I Met You I really cannot believe any of this… It’s crazy to me that you guys liked this fratboy wonwoo au so much… I really appreciate it! And expect some spin off chapters in the future! I already have 3 planned ☠️ Also, I mention it all the time but I never expect any of my fics to get this much love so every time I’m just shocked 😭 literally sitting here blushing just thinking about it 😭😭💕dfsdffds Also this is almost 4500 words so… strap in 😎🥴 Enjoy the last chapter, inbox roundup tmr and I love you so so so so much 💕
chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 COMPLETE
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Wonwoo stares at himself in the mirror, lips pursed and brows furrowed.
“I don’t know.”
Mingyu and Minghao both sigh; the latter throwing his arms up in defeat when Wonwoo grimaces in the mirror’s reflection. “Hyung, you haven’t liked anything we dressed you in. Why don’t you trust us?”
Mingyu places his hands on Wonwoo’s shoulders - squeezing the padding in the blazer as he meets the older male’s stare in the mirror.
“This is a date, right?”
“I mean… Yeah? I guess?” Wonwoo mumbles, a little bit shy. “I just don’t want her to think I’m trying too hard. I’m not trying to propose to her, you know. Just trying to get in the foot in the door towards the right direction.”
Minghao steps forward, sighing and shaking his head.
“Yeah, that’s true. But also… Isn’t think your first, real, official date with her? Don’t you want it to be special?”
This time Wonwoo laughs at the pair's dramatics - already shrugging off the blazer as Mingyu’s hands fall from his shoulders.
“God, the two of you make it seem like I’ve never dated a day in my life.”
“Hyung, aren’t you also kind of acting like that yourself? You asked us to help you dress for it in the first place.”
A crimson flush paints Wonwoo’s cheeks at Mingyu’s words; lips pressing into a firm line as he avoids their shit eating grins.
Goddamn it.
“Whatever, just show me other outfits you guys have.”
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Wonwoo tells you to meet him in front of the library at 10AM.
‘It’s somewhere familiar.’ He says.
You’d rolled your eyes but agreed - already standing in front of the familiar doors ten minutes earlier than your agreed meeting time.
Part of you was extremely giddy and excited and the other parts of you were nervous and anxious at what Wonwoo had planned for today.
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‘Did you have any suggestions for our date?’
Wonwoo bites the inside of his cheek as he sends you the text - palms clammy as he sighs.
‘You should ask for her opinion, hyung. Let her know you value her!’ Mingyu had said.
Wonwoo knows that.
But he blames being away from home a little too long for his airheadedness about it all. Tells himself it’s because he was gone for so long that he doesn’t really know how to act anymore.
Deep down inside, Wonwoo knows it’s really just because you make his heart do backflips when you smile at him and he just never knows how to respond except by shooting you an awkward tight lipped smile of his own.
He’ll call you beautiful all day long and praise you until you beg him to stop but something about the candid moments in between the pleasure that are the moments that make him feel like he’s falling in love for the first time all over again.
But Wonwoo wouldn’t quite admit that to you right now.
‘What would your ideal date be, Wonwoo?’
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He runs late by ten minutes.
Soft curses spill from his lips the entire time he jogs over - the flower bouquet in his clammy hand getting crushed slightly at the death grip he has on it.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry I’m late!”
Wonwoo rambles on about how Minghao wouldn’t stop chasing him with a bottle of hairspray but your shaking pupils can only focus on the poor bouquet of flowers being throttled in the midst of Wonwoo’s animated retelling.
“A--are those for m-me?” You whisper; cutting him off as his eyes flit down to his hand.
“O-oh, um, yes, f-for you…” He passes you the bouquet - a shy smile on his face when you take it from his hands.
He’d picked them out himself after deciding on his own that he wanted to do something special for you. 
Wanted it to mean something important.
“A dried flower bouquet?”
Wonwoo smiles sheepishly as he scratches the back of his head.
Was it too cheesy?
“They’re already dried so they’ll technically last forever now.”
You’re glad, for once, that you can manage to hold in the scream that almost escapes you when you look up to Wonwoo’s bespectacled face.
“O-oh… Thank you, Wonwoo.”
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You want to learn about Wonwoo.
What he likes and dislikes and what he likes to do in his free time. You have a vague idea of it all, but you want to hear it from him directly. 
You want him to turn to you and openly talk to you like you’ve been lovers for much longer.
He holds your hand as he guides you through the museum, but he’s oddly quiet and aloof when you try to pull him into conversations.
“Wonwoo, I--”
“Hey look, it’s a Hannah Höch piece. She’s one of the artists that pioneered that collaging thing Mingyu likes to do.” You lose him again as he reads off a biography off the wall and you can’t help but furrow your brows at his back.
You’d ask him over lunch.
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The two of you spend a good few hours at the museum.
Although, admittedly, you spend more of that time following Wonwoo around as he silently admires the pieces instead of talking to you.
But by the time lunch is rolling around, he walks you over to a small hole in the wall cafe; flowers adorning the entrance and large windows letting in the sunlight as the two of you sit in a small nook away from most of the other customers.
“So, I--”
“Wonwoo, can I ask you a question?”
He tilts his head in mild confusion at your perplexed tone. “Sure?”
It takes a few seconds of you opening and closing your mouth, unsure of where to start before you sigh.
“So… is this a date?”
Wonwoo scratches the back of his head, ears and cheeks hot as you stare back at him. “I just–I want to understand where we are, Wonwoo. Or what we are, I guess.”
There’s a sigh on his lips and out of nervousness, all he can do is readjust his glasses for the third time.
“I told you I was bad at this.”
He was nervous the entire time the two of you were at the museum and he didn’t know how to let you know so he just didn’t. 
He was hoping that he would’ve had the confidence like he usually did. 
“I’m sorry, I know, I--I should’ve tried talking but god, you make me so fucking nervous?” He laughs at his own shyness as he runs a free hand through his hair, fully messing up the styling that Minghao had painstakingly done.
“I make you nervous?”
Oh god.
“I--yeah. You really do.” He smiles genuinely at you before his shy eyes focus on the cup of coffee in front of himself. “I know it’s hard to believe, all things considered, but you really do and sometimes I don’t know how to handle myself so I just… Don’t. And I know it’s not fair and I’m super fucking aware I do it too, I just--I can be bad at words sometimes, I guess.”
You try to keep your cool as you nod; lips easing into a soft smile as you stare at Wonwoo dreamily.
You make him nervous.
Letting it go for now, you stir your drink; thinking of ways to get Wonwoo to be more talkative but not in a nervous, panicked way.
“Hey, why don’t you tell me about your semester abroad?”
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That manages to do the trick as Wonwoo spends the rest of the lunch portion of your date telling you various anecdotes of his trip.
And you learn that other than the long lectures and midday naps, his eyes light up at the stories he tells you about when they were actually at the archeological dig sites.
“It was so interesting to see remnants of what used to roam the earth before we did and to see little artifacts of old cities. I could’ve spent all day out there just excavating.”
“D’you think you’ll go again if you get the chance?”
Wonwoo squeezes your hand as the two of you walk out of the little cafe - already heading towards the last destination that he’d picked out.
“It’d be nice to.” He grins cheekily at you. “But maybe next time we could go together?”
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You end up having to take a taxi to get to the final location.
‘It’d be too far to walk for you, pretty baby~’ Wonwoo had cooed.
The car stops after about 35 minutes and while he pays the fare, you step out to read the sign in front of the large domed building.
‘Planetarium.’
“You okay, baby?”
“Hmm? Y-yeah! I’m just… Wow, I don’t think I’ve been here in… ever.” You laugh awkwardly as Wonwoo places a gentle hand on the small of your back.
“I thought it’d be nice and quiet. We could just... Enjoy each others’ company. And talk. Finally.”
The two of you are quiet when you walk in but Wonwoo tells the receptionist that he’s booked a private room which makes your cheeks warm up.
He’d definitely gone the extra mile.
The two of you are led to a smaller room - just enough to fit ten or so people except it’s only you and Wonwoo once the receptionist shuts the door and leaves you be.
“Shall we?” You nod as you take a seat in one of the recliners; setting your things down into the seat next to you as Wonwoo takes the seat on your other side. The two of you get comfortable as you stare up into the projected night sky - only the buzzing of the projectors in the small room filling up the silence as you start to relax.
Wonwoo reaches for your hand in the darkness and you feel yourself jolt in surprise when he tugs you a little closer to himself.
“Have you ever heard the story of the sun and moon?”
“Hmm? Which one? Aren’t there a lot?”
He closes his eyes, sighing softly as he relaxes in the darkness.
“It’s that old story about how the Sun loved the Moon so much that he died for her every night so that she could breathe. He thought she was so beautiful when she’d glow but the Moon knew their fates were decided in different paths. So the Sun would see her in passing, short glimpses, right before he disappeared beyond the horizon. It’s a romantic story about sacrifice and star crossed lovers.”
“Is that what we are?”
Wonwoo lets out a loud laugh; eyes forming crescents as his glasses slide down his nose bridge.
“No, I think our story is much more fortunate than that.”
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Black is Wonwoo’s favorite color.
“A-ah, hold on…!”
He likes to take naps when he’s not working or in his classes and sometimes spends his time playing PC games with his frat brothers until 3 in the morning.
“Wo--Wonwoo!”
He doesn’t have a ton of hobbies but he’s been thinking about videography lately since Mingyu’s brought it up.
“Baby, h-hold on, I’m gonna drop you if you don’t stop flailing!”
And he’s already thinking about taking a film class next semester and maybe quitting his job at the library to focus.
He tells you his favorite hyung is Seungcheol, ‘because he buys food all the time’ and his favorite dongsaeng is Seokmin, ‘because he cries easily so you know his heart is always in the right place.’
“Okay, finally!”
Wonwoo all but kicks the door to his room open, carrying you inside before he kicks it shut.
He lays you down gently on the bed as you giggle; a gentle smile on his face when he lays down next to you.
“I don’t know why you wanted to carry me up the entire flight of stairs but thank you.”
“Think of it as my sun sacrificing for your moon.”
You roll your eyes at his sudden cheesiness and in the heat of the moment, you find yourself rolling onto your side and immediately reaching for Wonwoo’s face as you tug him into a heated kiss.
“Mmph!”
He’s taken by surprise at first but quickly melts into it himself; eyes closing and hands reaching for your body when you start to roll on top of him.
His lips are soft and his kisses slow - the taste of coffee lingering on his lips and tongue when your lips part for him.
You’re reminded of his soft and gentle touches from a few days prior when you moan against his mouth and he’s quick to thread a hand through your hair before he flips your positions so that you’re underneath him instead.
“Mmh… Wonwoo…”
He kisses you on the lips one more time before he pulls away and takes his glasses off.
“I have one more thing for you to conclude our date.”
“Oh? A gift?”
“You can say that…”
He gets up from the bed and walks over to his closet - fetching a small box that he brings back to the bed as you sit up on your elbows.
“Wait, you’re not actually proposing, are you? On the first date?” Snorting, he takes the lid off and empties the contents of the box onto the bed.
“Depends. There’s definitely a cock ring in this pile somewhere.”
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‘You can use anything in this box on me tonight. I wanna give you the freedom.’
“You look… wow.”
You try your best to not go over the top with the toys but you couldn’t help yourself when you reached for the blindfold and the set of handcuffs; shaky fingers helping Wonwoo get into position against the headboard before you had locked the handcuffs into place and wrapped the blindfold around his head.
“Everything you dreamed about, baby? Having me at your mercy?” He smirks and even through the blindfold, you already know his eyes are smoldering and staring holes into you as you sit on his thighs.
“Maybe we should switch off every now and again ‘cause you look really good like this, Wonwoo…”
“Hah, well, let’s see how well you do, hmm, princess? Maybe if you do a good job, I might let you.”
Gulping, your eyes flit down his half naked body and yours before you reach for one more thing from the box; turning it on and letting it buzz to life as Wonwoo tenses up slightly.
He holds his breath and anticipates it but he’s still not as prepared as he thinks when you press the vibrator against his cock through the fabric of his boxer briefs.
“Oh--s-shit!”
The sensations feel even stronger with his eyes covered by the blindfold and his arms bound above his head and no matter how much he wants to tug against his restraints, he knows he can’t do anything.
Your mouth is agape at the way Wonwoo squirms underneath you and for a moment, you wonder if this is what he sees when you’re the one squirming underneath him.
“You’re not usually this sensitive… daddy~”
The teasing lilt in your voice has Wonwoo clenching his jaw before he huffs. “Daddy’s not used to being the one tied up, sweetheart.”
He opens his mouth to comment again, only a soft moan floating past his lips as he thrusts up against the vibrator. You don’t do anything other than hold it against his clothed cock but it’s enough for him to want to give in and switch places with you already - even though it’s only been minutes since you started.
Wonwoo tells himself control is something he needs to learn how to manage.
You can’t help but touch yourself while you hold the toy against him; biting your lip to hold in your noises when you gently run your fingers over your clothed mound.
“Sweetheart…”
“Y-yes, daddy?”
Grinning, Wonwoo can already tell by the shakiness of your voice that you’re affected too and he can’t help but want his hands roaming all over your skin.
“You should have all your fun now while you can~”
Gulping, you heed the warning in his voice as you set the vibrator to its highest setting, causing Wonwoo to let out a broken cry as the vibrations make his entire body tremble and try to shy away from the toy.
“G--god, fuh--fuck, ngh…”
His moans have your pussy clenching around emptiness and your fingertips only press harder into the wet patch of your panties at the way he tugs against his restraints.
“D-daddy… I--Can I sit on your cock now? I can’t w-wait any longer, you look so good…”
“O-oh? Watching daddy being a little bit submissive got your panties all wet, huh, princess? Are you wet enough to take daddy’s cock already?”
“Mmhmm…”
You turn off the toy and pull it away from him, watching his body go slack before you shimmy off of his lap to take off your panties.
A grin etches itself onto your face as you hold the wet material in your hands. “Daddy? Do you wanna know how wet I am?”
You can see Wonwoo’s brows furrow from above the blindfold but he nods once, lips parted slightly as he catches his breath. Goosebumps are all over his skin and he can feel you starting to grind down onto his clothed cock as your wetness soaks into the material of his boxer briefs.
“Oh, sweetheart, I--mmph!”
Giggling, you stuff the fabric between his parted lips - muffling anything he was going to say after as you grind down onto him harder. “Mmh, daddy you’re so hard… ‘m gonna make myself cum on your cock now, okay~?”
Only what you can assume are muffled curse words fall from his lips when you scoot back down to his thighs, tugging his boxer briefs down before wrapping a hand around his cock.
You lean over and let saliva drip from your mouth to the head of his cock - smearing the spit and his precum up and down his shaft as you prolong his teasing before giving himself, and yourself, what you both really want.
“Daddy, I wish you could see yourself right now~ I can tell how much you wanna feel my cute ‘lil pussy wrapped around your cock… Squeezing you and making you feel good too~”
Wonwoo can only groan around the fabric, hips thrusting up into your palm.
“And I’m so wet now too… But daddy always gets me sooo wet…” You shimmy back up his body, positioning his cock at your entrance before you start to sink down slowly. “A-ah, sliding into my hot ‘lil cunt like you w-were made for me, daddy…”
The amount of expletives Wonwoo’s screamed into the soaked material is uncountable at this point, but he says a mental prayer thanking the powers up above when he’s finally fully seated in your warmth - cock already curving deliciously into your g-spot as you mewl.
“Mmh, I could cum like this… Your cock is s-so big it’s already filling me up s-so good and--and touching all the p-places inside me that make me w-wanna cum…”
You grind atop his lap, swiveling your hips before removing your bra and tossing it off to the side. “Ngh… daddy…” Your hands roam your skin, cupping your breasts and pinching your nipples as you whimper and clench down onto Wonwoo’s cock harder.
“Nod once if you wanna see me, daddy~ Or nod twice if you wanna talk to me~”
Wonwoo grits his teeth - you could really be evil when you wanted to.
But he nods once, sharply, to let you know he’s not happy he can’t have both. You laugh softly in return, leaning up to remove the silk ribbon from his eyes.
He blinks rapidly to adjust to the dimmed room, eyes on your naked body in a flash as you go back to teasing yourself.
“Do you like what you see, daddy?”
Wonwoo gulps, this time nodding shakily as he watches you pinch your nipples and cup your breasts. “Bet you wanna touch me too, huh, daddy?” He narrows his eyes - silently telling you to watch yourself.
“Hmm… s’not as fun when daddy doesn’t talk to me too~”
You smile at him teasingly before you reach over to pull the wet material from between Wonwoo’s lips and he doesn’t waste a second before he’s chuckling - quietly yet enough to make you shiver.
“Hah, gotta hand it to you, princess...”
He doesn’t say anything more which makes you nervous so instead, you start bouncing on his lap, fingertips on your clit as you chase your pleasure.
This won’t last much longer, you think, I gotta take what I can get.
Soft mewls spill from your lips as you maintain eye contact with him and the way he just stares at you is enough to make you cry out.
“D-daddy, d--don’t, ah, look at m-me like that…”
“Like what, princess?”
You pinch your clit, eyes clamping shut when he shifts slightly underneath you.
A choked sob bubbles up your throat when you throw your head back and the pleasure washes over you - your orgasm hitting you hard as you swivel your hips faster.
“Oho, my pretty ‘lil princess is already cumming~ Your hot ‘lil cunt is sucking my cock in deeper while you cum… Don’t you want daddy to fuck you good and hard? Feel my cock fucking you so deep you feel it in your stomach?”
“O-oh, god, daddy…!” Your thighs shake as you rub quicker circles on your clit - milking your orgasm for what it’s worth before you would give back the control to Wonwoo.
“Or maybe daddy should fuck you slow… Let you feel every inch of me when I’m sliding in and out of your pretty ‘lil cunt… Make you beg for me and crave me so fuckin’ bad, just like you did to me?”
His laugh is cruel and makes you whimper; orgasm ebbing away as your fingers slow down and your hips come to a stop.
Gulping, you know the second the locks click on the handcuffs that Wonwoo would most likely make you pay for all your teasing.
But you fish for the keys lost in the bedsheets - shaky, sticky fingers reaching above the silent male underneath you as you start to undo the locks keeping him bound to the bed.
And it doesn’t take long.
“Ah…!”
Wonwoo does the rest of the work himself, tugging himself free and maneuvering you swiftly until you’re on your back; the air knocked out of your lungs at how quickly he moved.
“Daddy, I--”
The words die on your tongue when Wonwoo pushes your legs up to your chest, not even bothering to rid himself of his boxer briefs when he sinks his cock back into you.
In this position, Wonwoo holds all the control; cock slamming into your sensitive cunt as garbled noises fall from your lips.
“D--daddy, ‘m se--sensitive… ngh…”
Your cunt is like a vice grip around his cock as he snaps his hips hard and fast - this time chasing his own pleasure after all your teasing.
In all honesty, he would’ve cum if you kept the vibrator on his body any longer and he mentallly reminds himself to not let you know how easily it affected him.
“I know you’re sensitive, princess~ Which is why you’re gonna cum for me again.”
Wonwoo reaches between your bodies, rubbing quick circles on your clit with the pad of his thumb as you scream out his name.
“Oh--oh, god! Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo!”
“That’s right. Fuckin’ scream my name, princess. Who’s making you feel this good?”
“Y--You! Daddy! Fuck, ah, I--I can’t, I can’t, I--mmh!”
Wonwoo already starts to feel your body tense up with each thrust of his hips that has the head of his cock tapping your g-spot.
“You can and you will, princess.” He mutters, eyes focused on your face that contorts in absolute bliss. “Daddy wants to feel you cumming on his cock while he fucks you nice and deep. You take me so well, princess~ Fuckin’ taking all of me in your cute ‘lil cunt.”
Tears blur your vision as the pleasure starts to wash over you a second time - nothing leaving your lips except for an alternation of ‘Wonwoo’ and ‘daddy’ as your legs shake and toes curl.
“Fuck, princess…!”
Wonwoo’s cock is forced out of you as you cum hard; squirting all over his lower half as you cry out and convulse against the sheets.
The ringing in your ears is enough to block out anything he seems to say but he’s quick to wrap a hand around his cock and tap your swollen clit as he works you through your second high.
“Aww, my good ‘lil princess is so cute when she’s squirting all over daddy~ Making a big mess, too~” Your body jolts with each tap of his cock head against your clit and it only prolongs your orgasm as you thrash against his sheets.
“Da---daddy… I, hic, ‘m sor--sorry…”
When Wonwoo feels your body start to relax after a few tense minutes, he takes in your glowing form underneath him; thighs slicked with wetness and bed sheets soaked and crumpled underneath your bodies.
In a moment of gentleness, he lets your quivering legs down, fingertips massaging your tired body as he leans over you.
His lips are ghosting across your cheek as you open your teary eyes, soft cries still on your lips when he wipes at your tear stained cheek with the back of his fingers.
“You okay, princess?”
“Mm…”
“You wanna stop now? We can if you want.” His voice is barely above a whisper and the softness of it makes your body feel warm and sated when he kisses you gently. He repeats this a few more times as you catch your breath; leaving feather-light kisses all over your face as you mewl.
“You didn’t cum yet though, daddy…”
“I know, s’okay.” He smiles against your lips, “I want what you want… ‘Cause I really like you. And I’d really like to go on more dates with you, princess. And I wanna be able to tell everyone that I really like you too. And show you off to them and make them jealous that you’re mine. If you’ll let me. And learn with me.”
You giggle tiredly into his kiss, hazy eyes meeting his own.
You were happy.
And Wonwoo was too.
“Wanna start by grabbing me a glass of water from downstairs then, daddy?”
“Anything for you, my moon.”
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“Does that really work?”
“What do you mean?”
“The ‘holding a cup to the door’ thing. Can you hear them?” Mingyu purses his lips at Minghao’s question.
“Not… really. Kinda just muffles it more.”
Jeonghan passes by the two currently hunched over each other in front of Wonwoo’s door; an incredulous look on his face.
“Why are the two of you listening in on them fucking? Fucking weirdos.”
Mingyu and Minghao both turn to look at the older male, lips pursed into a firm line “We’re not listening to them fucking, hyung. We’re trying to hear their conversation.”
Jeonghan laughs as he shakes his head.
“There’s absolutely no valuable conversation going on if she’s screaming ‘daddy’ so loud that Seungcheol is texting me about it from his bedroom. You should leave before Wonwoo finds out and decides to make rugs out of the two of you.”
“Ugh… Yes, hyung.”
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💕
485 notes · View notes
bluesora · 4 years ago
Text
celebrating mother’s day with you
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tsukishima kei ; sugawara kōshi ; oikawa torū ; kita shinsuke
headcanon ; fluff ; age up ; snippets of cuteness ; parenthood ; special edition — mother’s day
note: i’m not sure if i portrayed each characterization well but i just thought it’ll be fun to write one. after all, i was blessed to be born with loving parents and i just wanted to share the love i’m grateful for.
tagging: @forgetou @amjustagirl @yacoka @haikyuutothetop @luvnami ;; thank you for dropping these characters as i couldn’t decide who to write for. (of course it was more exciting without context)
ps. it’s longer than expected i’m sorry :’)
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tsukishima kei
tsukishima isn’t one who would remember special occasions unless someone had schedule a plan in advance with him. when he wondered if he should do anything for you after hearing his colleagues whispering during break, his work got busier than usual so he had forgotten about it.
that was, until he realized he had ten missed calls from his son; which was odd because he weren’t one to call him so often.
“i was in a meeting, what hap—” before tsukishima could finish his sentence, his son interrupted him, “i bought mom’s favorite cake since you’re slow. hurry home or there’s none left for you,” the line was cut right after; which of course left poor tsukishima’s partner to deal with the aftermath. “tsukishima-san, about the report—”
“it must be so urgent that it needs my immediate attention even when i’m packing up right?” his words dripped of pure sarcasm despite the polite smile hanging from his lips. everyone could literally see the panic swirling in his partner’s pupil.
“i’m sorry!! good work today and see you tomorrow!!” it’s the weekend tomorrow, but tsukishima was too hung up on his son’s attitude to shoot another of his sarcastic reply.
you, on the other hand, were neither someone who would celebrate such occasion unless it was for birthdays or holidays. therefore, you didn’t really had anything in mind nor were you expecting anything as well.
when you finally reached home from a tiring day at work, you were definitely not expecting to see your favorite cake on the table while your son popped a party popper with a party horn in his mouth right beside you.
“happy mother’s day!” he tried to mumble out with the horn still in his mouth. you couldn’t help but chuckle at the unexpected surprise, dropping your bag on the counter just so you could hug him—one that he wholeheartedly hugged you back because tsukishima wasn’t around.
it took an hour for tsukishima to be home, a small bouquet of flowers in his hand when he walked over to where you and the cheeky lad was sitting. “oh! you didn’t have to though,” you smiled in surprise.
“dad’s just guilty he forgot about our promise and didn’t want to come home empty handed.” you chuckled at that, perhaps it wasn’t entirely wrong either but you still appreciate the sentiment. it was rare for him after all.
“those who break promises don’t get desserts.” he continued to press his dad’s buttons, only to see tsukishima loosened his tie with an expression he could not understand.
“oh, but that’s on your mom to decide if i’ll get one tonight or not.” you could feel your face heating up at your husband’s words, the tone and smile that dawned on his face was a look you knew oh so well.
“tch...i thought i hid it well.” of course, your clueless son didn’t know the true meaning of those words and thought the strawberry shortcake he bought for his dad was found out.
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sugawara kōshi
sugawara would definitely plan in advance with the children. especially when they were the ones who excitedly wanted to do something for you.
“mama like animals! lets go to the zoo!” the middle child exclaimed with so much enthusiasm, sugawara could only chuckle at her adorable smile.
“you only said that because you wanted to go to the zoo, dummy.” the eldest one huffed, feeling proud that he saw through her obvious tactic.
it didn’t take long for the two to start crawling over each other in a fight while the youngest one giggled amusingly as if she was watching a performance. that was, until an insult was thrown at her so she joined in the fight to prove her worth.
“if you don’t stop now, we’ll be celebrating at home like how we did the past two years.” that immediately ceased all action, since they haven’t had the chance to go out together as a whole family thanks to your busy schedule.
“how about the park? the cherry blossoms have bloomed and mama likes going to the park!” of course, sugawara was fond of this idea. it’s been a while since there was a family picnic session.
and so on that very day in which you finally managed to take a day off, you weren’t expecting to be blind folded while having your children guide you to wherever you were supposed to be.
knowing how clumsy the trio could be, he wanted to accompany them as well but was outright rejected when they said they could do it themselves with so much confidence, he wasn’t sure who they got it from.
with their tiny hands, it took a while for them to tie the piece of cloth around your eyes, and even when they did, it wasn’t tied well enough so you could actually still see your footing (which saved you immensely from all the accidental knocks along the way)
after what felt like forever, you finally reached the park where they shouted ‘happy mother’s day’ in unison. you kind of already knew it’ll be a picnic from the soft grass beneath your feet and those fallen pink petals, but you were still moved to tears when you saw your children squeezed together into your husband’s arms while cute decoration and plates of food were spread between you and them.
“mama, try the cookie first! i made them myself!” the middle one was the first to break the silence.
“no! try my sandwich first, i’m the eldest!”
“so what if you’re the eldest? mama must be thirsty from walking so have my ultimate happy berry juice!” the youngest chirped with pride, as if her logic was a straight pass to winning.
you laughed at their competitive nature, which was oh so endearing at the same time. and it was obvious if you don’t decide soon, an all out food war was going to happen.
“before that, shouldn’t mama receive papa’s present first?” sugawara’s cheerful voice interrupted their little argument, and just before the youngest could ask what it was, her eyes was covered by the eldest son along with the middle one.
you couldn’t help but hit his arm in embarrassment when his lips met yours longer than it should’ve been.
“hey! that’s not fair, i didn’t get to see papa’s present,” your middle one sulked, only to be carried into sugawara’s arms as he peck her little cheek with a wink. “why don’t you ask mama what it was, baby?”
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oikawa torū
it was supposed to be a big surprise where he came home earlier than the date he had told you. he even told the kids about it and they promised to make it a success (money was definitely involved to be honest)
“make sure you delay mummy at the grocery store long enough for me to set everything up in time.” he reminded his daughter time and time again, only to have her sigh at his impatience.
“i think i’m old enough to not forget something so simple dad. and please stop addressing mom like that, it’s creepy.” she cringed, wondering how you even deal with oikawa every day.
“dad, have you even baked a cake before? do you think you can get it done within an hour or maybe two?” his son asked the third time that day, which did irk oikawa with that tone of his.
“of course i can! are you looking down on me? it’s just a simple vanilla cake and some fruits on top. how hard can it be?”
of course, with every rhetorical question that pose a challenge, there would always be an answer exactly of what’s to be expected.
you, with no idea that your husband was making a mess of your kitchen, took your own sweet time at the grocery store since your daughter was there to help and it’s been a while since you had a mother and daughter bonding time.
“do you think your dad would like to have curry tomorrow? or should we just have hamburger steak?” you asked, still unsure of the menu for a celebratory dinner.
“i think he would like anything you cook, so don’t worry about it. dad’s always so happy to eat your homemade meals.” she answered with shrug, but you could tell she was happy to rely the same sentiment.
everything went smoothly and she did managed to stall your time with her longer than the agreed duration. that was, until she received a text from her brother saying dad’s cake was a failure and they should just get one outside; you two were already at the apartment lift when she read it.
“dad, i think you should just give up. they are already walking over from the—” oikawa having enough of his son’s constant nagging about how he should’ve just bought a cake instead, threw a whiff of flour to his son’s face without thinking.
and of course, which kid would not retaliate from that. the kitchen, which originally wasn’t as messy, turned into chaos of white fluff and sticky childish banter between the two.
you, not expecting to see your husband, was clearly surprise when you heard his voice by the door. the only excitement that came from that vanished the moment your eyes fell onto the state of your kitchen.
“happy mother’s day?” oikawa managed to choke out when he felt your growing presence with each step towards him.
“i’m sorry mom, it was my fault please don’t kill dad—” your son pleaded softly by the side, only to fell speechless when you threw yourself into oikawa’s arms instead.
“welcome home,” you greeted with so much warmth, oikawa couldn’t help but embraced you tightly as he replied, “i’m home.”
“mom? you’re not mad?” your daughter asked in disbelief when she brought the groceries – including the ones you dropped – over to the kitchen.
“mad? why would i be when you dad’s sleeping in the kitchen tonight.” you were so serious and certain, the two broke into fits of laughter as they ran from their father (which was fertile because they got caught immediately and was tickled to tears)
“why are you laughing when you two are having a sleepover with daddy tonight.”
“please dad, just stop.”
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kita shinsuke
there was no surprises because kita’s way of celebrating was just regular activities but doing it together. which was honestly, what you love to do most since you don’t always get the chance of spending weekdays with your family often.
from preparing meals to visiting town, usually it would be done by kita himself. however, this time because of the special occasion, you took time off to accompany your husband while bringing your little ones along with you.
“mama here’s the carrot,” your little girl placed the orange vegetable on the chopping board before humming a tune while the other twin helped kita with picking the ends of the beansprouts.
“papa are we going to town later?” she beamed excitedly, hands still working on the tiny vegetable while her legs swung to the rhythm of her twin sister’s melody.
“yes, we are. do you have a place you want to visit?” he was done with his side so he continued onto the pile his daughter was removing.
“yes! we want to go to onigiri miya!” they both said at the same time, giggling right after when their father looked surprise.
“all right, let’s go after our lunch.” and everything went along smoothly with the little twins setting the table together while you and kita took turns to cook up the dishes. lunch was pleasant despite minimal words being exchanged since the twins were taught to not talk with their mouth full (and their mouth are always stuffed full)
while you and kita held hands with the twins walking hand in hand by themselves in front, the feeling of nostalgia seemed to tickle your bones at the memory of how you used to take long strolls with kita during your younger days.
“what’s wrong?” kita tugged your hand gently which snapped you back to reality when you realized you all have reached the store.
“nothing...i’m just grateful to be your wife and mother of two beautiful angels.” your smile had him press a fluttering kiss to your temple as he softly replied, “me too.”
“i see yer two are still as lovey-dovey as ever captain.” atsumu popped his head out from the entrance, both twins sitting comfortably on his arms as he carried them as if they were feathers.
“i’m not your captain anymore atsumu, but i see they both seemed to like you.” kita smiled at his two lovely dolls, one that atsumu have never seen much of because of his busy schedule.
“of course, who do you think i am? the better—” but before atsumu could even finish his flex, the two snapped their head over at the appearance of osamu in his apron. their hands immediately reaching out for the man to hug.
“uncle osamu!!” they squealed happily, trying their best to squirm out of atsumu’s grip.
“i guess not huh ‘tsumu,” osamu smirked at the annoyed twin, patting his hands dry before prying the little twins from his brother’s vice grip. of course, they both would fight over the kid’s affection. who wouldn’t right?
you watched the pair of twins in amusement with your head against kita’s shoulder as he wrapped an arm around your delicate frame. this too will be yet another moment kita would not forget, for he felt blissful to be their father and your husband.
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headheartbellarke · 4 years ago
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I Wish You Would | CHARLIE GILLESPIE
Requested by anon: “hello🌼 could u please write a charlie x reader imagine when he posts a picture on his instagram story with a girl to makes his crush jealous, but she end up distancing herself from him bc she's hurt and respect what she thinks is his relationship” PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem!reader WORDS: 2,445 WARNING(s): angst w a happy ending, some language SUMMARY: “I wish you knew that I'd never forget you as long as I'd live."
A/N: hi, everyone!! really, really sorry that this took so long. haven’t had the best march tbh, and writer’s block is a bitch. && this isn’t very good, either, but i had to get something done. love u <3
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TEN HOURS EARLIER
“And… post!” Charlie taps his phone, grinning brightly.
Owen cheers from behind him, his voice meshing into the humdrum of the bar they’re currently at. “I’m so proud of you!”
His friend laughs, spinning around in the bar stool to face him. “She’ll finally understand what it feels like!”
Owen nods frantically, taking another sip of the drink in his hand.
Charlie copies his movement – a part of him knows that he is absolutely hammered, but the bigger part of him doesn’t care. He’s had a long day, and he deserves this.
Besides, how else would he and his best friend have thought of this wonderful plan if they didn’t have a billion drinks in their system?
PRESENT
A knock on the door pulls Y/N from her thoughts. “Come in!” She yells, but her voice comes out feeble and hoarse, probably from all the crying she’s been doing for the past hour.
As the door swings open, her best friend, Savannah, pokes her head in. “Hey, babe. You all right?”
Y/N sniffs. “M’fine.”
Savannah enters the room, closing the door softly behind her. She walks to the window, opening the curtains, and Y/N groans when light floods into the previously dark room.
She sits on the bed beside Y/N, and Y/N rests her head on her shoulder as she pulls the covers up to cover their bodies.
“I’m sure that they’re not dating.” Savannah says, wrapping an arm around her best friend.
Y/N chuckles sadly. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, Sav. I mean, in the photo, he was kissing her cheek. Literally. And he put a heart between them.”
Savannah sighs. “That’s so not Charlie, you know… kissing random girls in bars and posting pictures with them.”
“Yeah, that’s so not Charlie, because she’s not a random girl. Her name’s Francesca and she went to high school with him, so, technically, she’s known him longer, and probably better than me.”
“I – I had no idea.”
“Yeah.”
“Y/N, babe, just tell him about how you feel. I’m sure that he likes you too.”
“If he liked me, then he wouldn’t be kissing Francesca!”
Y/N exhales, as Savannah gulps, not knowing what to respond. “Y/N, I – I swear, he’s crazy about you. I don’t know what happened between last Friday and today, but I swear – the Charlie that I know – has eyes for no one but you.”
Y/N rolls her eyes, feeling a pang in her heart at Savannah’s words. “Savannah, we kissed and then he ghosted me for a day and now he’s posting pictures of him kissing another girl! I think he has eyes for everyone!”
Savannah bites her lower lip, not knowing what to respond, again. Her best friend feels tears prick at the back of her eyes when she says, “Maybe I’m a bad kisser.”
Savannah’s eyes widen, and she sits up, straight. “No. No. Babe, no. Don’t say that, ever. You’re a great kisser, okay! You’re an amazing kisser. Your lips are fine as hell, believe me. He’s the one with crusty ass lips. They’re not even lips, they look like… like… peanuts.”
Y/N stares at her best friend for a moment, before saying, “Peanuts, Sav? Really?”
“It’s the first thing that came into my mind!” She says defensively, before the girls break into a fit of laughter.
“I’m never talking to him again, ever.” Y/N says after they’ve calmed down. “I’m never even gonna look in his direction. Fucking asshole.”
*
Charlie sighs, taking another sip of his coffee. It’s eight in the morning, and he’s normally a morning person – he loves the mornings, the peace, the quiet, and the feeling that comes along with it more than anything, but right now, he just feels… sad.
On regular days, he would be talking to his best friend, Y/N, about everything that’s on his mind. But today’s different.
Last Friday, Y/N kissed him, and long story sort, it was the best thing that’s ever happened to him. After work that day, they went to get some food at a drive through, like they usually do. All throughout the ride, they made plans to go hiking once the production for season two finishes. She drove the car to a lookout, and oh, god, it was so pretty. The midnight sky was littered with stars, and since they were at the edge of town, there was less pollution, and they could see bits of the galaxy, too.
But, for some reason, the girl next to him seemed more beautiful than anything he’s ever seen, and after they finished eating, he just sat and stared at her talk about the last book that she’d read, for a while. He knows that it was terrible that he wasn’t listening – but how could he pay attention to anything when she looked like that, especially with passion illuminating her face like times square on New Year’s Eve?
She had looked at him as if he’d just grown a third head. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Li – like what?” He’d asked, embarrassed to be blatantly caught.
“Like that…” She’d said and kissed him, and it felt like he was seeing colour for the first time. Although, the next day, everything turned to shit.
Now, it’s Monday, and she’s nowhere to be seen. He desperately wants to know if his and Owen’s plan actually worked (no reason that it wouldn’t), and he feels so impatient right now, and he misses her. Also, his massive hangover isn’t helping, either.
He hears his name being called, and sees Kenny smiling at him.
“Hey, so we’re gonna do a different scene today, since Y/N and Savannah are out, is that okay with you?”
His heart races. “What happened to them?”
“Y/N’s sick, and Savannah’s taking care of her.”
“Oh. Yeah, it’s okay with me.” He says, feeling his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach.
*
“This is the last time I’m asking you this…” Y/N sings, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her sweater.
“Put my name at the top of your list!” Savannah sings, using Y/N’s straightener as a mic.
“This is the last time I’m asking you why!” Madison joins.
“You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye!” Jadah sings, jumping on the bed.
As the second verse comes on, the girls sit on Y/N’s bed, huddled close to each other.
“You know, I’m feeling better now than I did when I woke up.” Y/N says, resting her chin on her knees.
“Taylor Swift can fix anything.” Madison says, leaning her head on Y/N’s shoulder.
She nods. “And y’all. Thanks for being here.”
Jadah grins, wrapping an arm around her. “We couldn’t let you have a pity party all alone!”
Savannah laughs. “I’m gonna kill him, I swear.”
“As relieving as that would be, don’t. I’ve decided what I should do.”
Madison quirks a brow. “You’re gonna kill him yourself?”
“Madi! No. I’m gonna distance myself.”
Savannah tilts her head. “I think that maybe you two should talk it out.”
“I don’t think so. I need space, time to figure it out. My head feels like a mess. And I respect him and Francesca, and I’m not gonna dip my toes between them.”
The other girls solemnly nod their head.
“You do realize that that’s not actually the saying?” Jadah says, after a while.
“Don’t embarrass me, kid.”
*
Charlie exhales, watching his breath crystallize to tiny ice particles in front of him. Even though, he’s a Canadian, he still feels cold. Although maybe it’s not due to the weather, but due to the coldness in Y/N’s eyes.
He watches her chat with Jeremy a few feet away, both of them discussing something that is out of bounds to him. He knows that it’s probably decisions regarding their characters, considering Y/N’s character is Jeremy’s character, Reggie’s love interest, but a part of him feels like it’s shit about him.
He has no reason to feel that way, of course. He hasn’t spoken to Y/N in four days, and this morning, when he saw her after for what feels to be eternity, he was blatantly ignored. He had only watched helplessly as Y/N exited the room the moment he entered and had sunk into his chair feeling like absolute shit, especially with everyone’s pitiful stares.
Charlie’s mind keeps replaying each moment, torturing over every tiny detail, wondering what he did wrong.
And that’s when it hits him: she really doesn’t want him anymore.
Last Saturday, he had hopelessly watched her with her long-term boyfriend of god-knows-how-long – he had come to surprise her on set, and it was Charlie that was more surprised. Because he thought that they were over, for good. And it wasn’t like they seemed like they weren’t dating. They were acting just like they used to when they were dating, and he was too close to her for his comfort. They still laughed the same, joked around the same, and were just as inseparable as they used to be.
A question kept rising in Charlie’s mind, like an icicle to his heart: why would she kiss him when she already had someone else? Why would she give him hope, and then take it all away? Why would she dangle his hurt in front of him?
So, he decided to give her a taste of her own medicine, and posted a picture with Francesca, his high school friend, who he had run into that night.
Owen sinks into the chair beside Charlie. “You okay?”
“I’m starting to believe that our plan didn’t work.”
*
“Hey, uh, Y/N?”
The girl in question hears Charlie’s voice, and turns around, avoiding looking into his eyes.
“Can we talk?” He says, and for a moment, her defences are down again. He looks so… tired, almost like he’s going through the same things that she is. Almost like there’s an explanation as to why he broke her heart, why he ruined something that had the potential to be extraordinary, why he made her feel so bad about herself.
And she almost believes it, too. Like the fool she is.
She presses her lips into a thin line, and says, “Nothing to talk about.”
As Charlie opens his mouth to protest, she smiles and walks away.
*
“Okay, Charlie, you two need to talk it out. This is too much. Both of you are obviously hurting, and there’s obviously some serious miscommunication here.”
Charlie shakes his head at Savannah’s words. “She hates me.”
“No. She could never hate you.” She says, thrusting her phone in Charlie’s face. His eyes squint to read the text on the screen – from Y/N.
Sorry – forgot to leave a note. Drove down to Dad’s, gonna stay here for a while. It’s too painful – honestly, you know what? I’m still very, very, very mad at him. But I’m also missing him very, very, very much. So, I need to flush it out. Flush him out. He might be a jerk, but he’s still one of the best people that I’ve ever met. Love you, okay? Will return when the time is right.
Charlie’s eyes widen, and he stares at Savannah’s face for a while. “There – there is still hope!”
She nods frantically. “You should call her –”
“I’m gonna drive down to her dad’s house, too!”
“That works, too.”
*
A frantic knock on the front door pulls Y/N from her thoughts. She stops typing on her keyboard, and flips the lid shut, keeping it on the dining table in front of her.
She runs to her dad’s door, knowing that it’s him, back from his shopping. She opens the door, saying, “Let me take those for – Charlie?!”
Y/N’s heart swells at his sight as he grins sheepishly.
“So, there’s been some misunderstandings… can I come in?” He asks, and Y/N pauses, considering.
He sighs, and adds, “Please?”
She stares at him.
He juts his bottom lip out. “Pretty please?”
“Fine, come in.”
He closes the door behind him, wordlessly following Y/N, who feels like she might hurl right now. They sit on the couch, and it’s really, really awkward for a few seconds.
Y/N sighs. “You said you –”
“Yes. Yes, yeah. OK, so – I, uh, I –”
She couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Why would you do that to me? Do I really mean that little to you?”
“I could say the same about you!”
“Really?”
“Yes! I saw you with Shahid that day, I know that you two are back together –”
“Shahid?!”
“Yes!”
She stares at him, baffled.
“So…so… Francesca….”
“I only posted the picture to make you jealous! She asked me if I wanted to go out with her and the rest of my high school friends, and of course I went, and she saw that I was being a little… unsocial. So, I told her about how the girl that I’m completely crazy about has a boyfriend! And a long term one at that, too! And then Owen came up with a brilliant plan, and I guess you know what it was. Now, I’m realizing that it might not have worked.”
She stares at him for a moment, before she bursts out laughing. Charlie throws her a confused look.
“You – you thought that Shahid – Shahid, my best friend since we were in nappies, Shahid who is married to this amazing man, and at whose wedding I was the maid of honour – you thought that I was dating him?”
“He’s gay?!”
“Bisexual. Oh my god, I have to tell him. This is hilarious.”
Charlie bites the corner of his lower lip, feeling his cheeks heat up. “This is really embarrassing. But you two act like you’re dating!”
“No, we don’t. You’re just being insecure and jealous. I’ve known him forever, and yes, I am the most comfortable around him. Because he’s my family. He’s my brother. Oh, god, I can’t believe that you were jealous of him – wait, have you thought that we were dating this whole time?”
“Kind of. I thought you guys broke up when he didn’t visit you on set during the first two months of production.”
“He was helping feed kids in Somali.”
“Oh. Oh. God, I feel so –”
“Dumb? That’s because you are.”
He grins sheepishly, his cheeks crimson.
Y/N smiles. “But I forgive you. And I wouldn’t mind if you took me on a proper date this time.”
“Deal. Also, promise that we’ll always talk it out before… you know… doing anything?”
She laughs, and nods. He wraps his pinkie finger around hers.
“Well, Owen’s plan did kind of work, though.”
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1plus1kiyoomi · 4 years ago
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Chapter 7: Green Light
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[masterlist]
note: i don’t know why i can’t edit chapter 6 so hopefully you reach this chapter
2 weeks.
2 weeks have passed ever since that night Yuta walked you home, the same night that you and Kuroo got into the biggest fight you’ve ever had. The doors were slammed, the remote of the TV flew from one wall to another, your voices were on top of your lungs.
Kuroo threw words he shouldn’t have, like accusing you of cheating on him. You even went on your knees just to prove to him that you didn’t. Apology after apology. You didn’t even know why you were asking for forgiveness when you did nothing wrong. He told you to leave, you should have, but you didn’t. You couldn’t leave him. You love him way too much even if he does you so wrong.
Kuroo has all red lights turn into green and you let him drive you insane.
But you’re getting tired of the ride that doesn’t have a destination.
——————————————————————————
“Just go see (Y/N) at her office,” Kenma tells Kuroo as the two are looking over files. “My secretary and her secretary are friends. I can ask for her schedule if you want.”
“Why would I?” Kuroo scoffs confidently and his friend deadpans at him. “What? It’s not like I miss her or something.”
“You’ve been writing her name and scratching over it like a teenager going through a heartbreak. I thought the two of you made up already?” Kenma rebuts and the raven head pouts.
“We did.” Kuroo continues to read the document, trying his best not to get distracted by invasive thoughts of you. ‘But she isn’t chasing after me like she used to.’
You really have been different. Yes, you still message him and act sweet around him, but it seems like you’re forcing your actions, especially sex. Whenever you have time to go home, you two only do the deed, then sleep, and then he wakes up to an empty bed again.
Sex is good, great even. Kuroo loves doing it with you. But it isn’t enough. When was the last time you went on a date? Or ate a meal together? Or talked about your days? When was the last time you told him you love him?
“So why are you moping around?”
‘Because I miss her,’ Kuroo’s inside thought speaks in volume. He really does miss you but he can’t say it out loud. “I don’t know man. I guess because of work.”
“But aren’t you here with me because you barely have work to do?” Kenma says in an almost teasing tone. Kuroo just rolls his eyes and ignores his friend. Oh how the tables have suddenly turned. Kenma is the one teasing him now.
Kenma then realizes that Kuroo has finally started caring about you.
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Kuroo arrives at your workplace earlier than your meeting time because he’s that excited to see you. He even bought flowers for you and pastries for your workmates. It’s his way for thanking them for taking care of you at your work. Also, it’s to let them know that you’re together so they stop shipping you with other people.
“Oh, Kuroo, you’re here,” Terushima greets him as they meet in the lobby. “(Y/N) has an emergency photoshoot today so I guess it’s your lucky day.”
“Photoshoot for what?” Kuroo raises an eyebrow as he follows Terushima inside the studio of your office. There are big lighting equipments, a huge white backdrop in the room, and a lot of wedding dresses.
“For our wedding dresses catalogue. Usually, Alisa does it but she’s sick today so (Y/N) has to take her place,” Terushima explains and Kuroo nods in comprehension. “I think she’s preparing for the last dress already so you don’t have to wait long for her to finish.”
Terushima gives Kuroo a chair he can sit on and directs him to a spot where he can see you while you shoot. While waiting for you, he hands out goodies to your coworkers, bowing and thanking each one of them.
Not long after, you come out in a white tulle ball gown with white flower petals on the bodice and ends of the dress. Your hair and makeup done bridal style: subtle, elegant and will surely take the groom’s breath away. Kuroo doesn’t know why but his breathing pattern suddenly changes and his heart beat picks up a rather speedy pace.
You literally and figuratively took his breath away.
‘I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack,’ Kuroo thinks without knowing that he has a sweet smile on his face. His eyes are staring at you in admiration, maybe even in a loving way. You just look too gorgeous in that dress it makes him wonder what you’d wear in your wedding if you even had one.
Come to think of it, what would you like your whole wedding to be?
The man is getting flustered just thinking about your wedding day. You’ll have one soon, right? It’s working out for the two of you so there definitely will be one. Or so he thinks that it’s working out for the two of you.
“Kuroo?”
“Kuroo.”
“Kuroo!”
“Yes?” Kuroo finally snaps out of his thoughts and sees Terushima smirking at him. “What?”
“You’re staring too much,” the blonde chuckles. He expects Kuroo to deny it and such so he gets shock when the raven states...
“Why wouldn’t I? My wife looks mesmerizing.” Kuroo continues to watch your shoot, his attention only on you and no one else. You finally see him, so you flash him a sweet smile and flirty wink before focusing back to your work.
Kuroo giggles with a blushing face which causes Terushima to laugh at his reaction. Terushima teases him so he hits Terushuma, telling the blonde to stop teasing him. “You are such a simp!”
The two of them are having butterflies in their stomachs because they’re lowkey like teenage girls, giggling and whispering to each other with blushes on their face, talking about the love of their life. If you’re looking from a far, you would never know what they are talking about.
The shoot finally ends and your secretary tells Kuroo to wait for you at your office. He does as told and roams around your workplace while he waits. He finds your little bedroom and sees some of your belongings in there. It must be where you sleep when you finish work when trains stop operating for the day.
Kuroo hears your door open so he gets out of the tiny room and skips to you, hugging you tightly in the middle of the room. He takes a look at your face and then tackles it with kisses, enabling you start a proper conversation.
“I missed you.”
Kiss.
“I missed you.”
Kiss.
“I missed you so much.”
Kiss.
“Tetsu, love,” you call him out in between giggles, your hands trying to cup his cheeks for him to stop, but he captures your lips with his first. Your eyes flutter close and give into his actions.
“You looked so beautiful in that dress, my love. Makes me wanna marry you again.”
You’re supposed to be happy hearing his words. Your heart should be jumping out of your rib cage by now. So why can you feel yourself forcing a smile?
“Love, do you mind if I ask you a question?” Kuroo asks you, his arms snaking around your body, nuzzling his nose on the crook your neck. You just humm, eyes closed, fingers tangled into his hair.
“What’s your ideal wedding?”
Your lids shut open from his question. “All of a sudden?”
“I just got curious.” Kuroo shrugs, waiting for your answer. He’s ready to take mental notes and use it when you plan your wedding.
“I’ve never thought about it,” you answer honestly. Kuroo moves away from you and stares, not believing the words that came out of your mouth. “What? I always knew I was getting arranged so I never thought about having my own wedding.”
“You’re a wedding planner and you never dreamed about your own wedding?” Kuroo is skeptical about your statement and he also feels disappointed?
You’ve never thought about your wedding? As in the ‘you as the bride and him as the groom’ wedding? Has it really not passed your mind even just for a second? Because that was all he was thinking about when he saw you in that wedding dress and up to this moment.
“I just don’t see myself having my own wedding,” you explain, not sparing a glance at his disheartened face.
“Not even with me?” He says without thinking, which you look at him for. You examine his face and see how he genuinely looks discouraged about your words. Not understanding why is he so hurt about your words, you cock an eyebrow at him.
“We’re married.”
“But we haven’t had a wedding ceremony. I personally think it’ll be great to have one,” Kuroo says as if it’s not a big deal, but deep inside he is making a huge fuss about it. He’s indirectly proposing to you and if you turn it down, his heart will shatter to pieces.
“Let’s see after our trying period,” is all you responded. Your response breaks him. You haven’t decided if you’ll stay with him?
He can feel his chest tigthen and hand sweat. Why are you saying that when months ago you were speaking about how much you love him? Why are you saying that when weeks ago you were begging him to forgive you?
“Don’t you love me anymore?”
——————————————————————————
Facts:
The idea of signal lights was first used on railroads to prevent trains from colliding. These signals were then adapted all over the world and used in roads since it worked so well.
The original pattern was red for danger, green for caution, and white to go. However, since white could have been easily missed against a starry sky so then it was changed to the green, yellow, and red we know of now.
The first constructed roads date from about 4000 BC
Roman roads were often stone-paved.
The Pan-American Highway is the longest roadway in the world, spanning around 19,000 miles or 30,000 kilometers
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egcdeath · 4 years ago
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opposites attract
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pairing: steve rogers x villain!reader
summary: based off of the lyrics:
“you and i are two oceans apart
we're on earth to break each others hearts
in two, and it's hard
with you, when i'm too far
from you, i look at the stars,
do you?”
from ‘ferrari’ by the neighbourhood
warnings: injuries, sparring, mention of blood and bruises, angst, fluff, and banter
word count: 3.7k
a/n: i am a simple woman. i think of a hurt/comfort concept and am morally obligated to write it. (this is a repost from the other day so if you saw it before, no you didn’t)
if you’d like to be added to my taglist, click here! as always, comments and reblogs are always appreciated <3
Thick, cushioned, cream colored walls. You supposed this was an upgrade from your last room, with its harsh and reflective steel. Every time you made an appearance here, it seemed there was a new, yet futile, attempt to keep you contained.
As you studied the pillowy surface, you drummed your fingers on the wooden table that your hands were currently strapped down to, and secretly hoped for your captor to rear his head, even if he was peeking through the double-sided mirror to your left.
Your mind proved itself to be a powerful thing, as the door ahead of you opened, and none other than Captain America stepped in, looking valiant and proud as ever.
“Good afternoon, Captain,” you greeted.
“Flux,” he said in a matter of faculty tone, nodding his head at you before pulling the chair in front of you aside and sitting down.
“To what do I owe this pleasure?” you asked, as if you hadn’t been tussling with him in the streets less than an hour ago.
“Y’know, just our biweekly catch up,” he shrugged, playing along.
“Can I suggest coffee for our next meeting?”
Steve scoffed, but you almost swore that if you squinted, you could see him blush. “Enough of that,”  he mumbled before opening a yellow folder and turning it to face you. “You ready to tell me about him?” Steve asked, pointing to a printed photo of Brock Rumlow.
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Captain,” you responded, looking up and batting your lashes at the man. This routine was like clockwork for you two. Fight a little, get yourself caught after a moment of weakness, and end up in an interrogation room.
“Don’t play dumb with me Flux,” he warned in a snarl, wrapping his fingers against your wrist and making you yelp. That was definitely going to leave a mark.
“Ouch, Captain. You’re being rough today, even for you.”
“I’m always rough with you,” he insisted, raising a brow as he loosened his hold on you.
“You’re being rougher than usual, that’s what I just said,” you furrowed your own brows at him. “Something on your mind?
“You’re stalling,” Steve stated while squinting at you.
“I would never do something like that, Cap,” you closed your eyes and visualized the outside of the building. “Does it have anything to do with those accords?”
You opened an eye quick enough to catch a glimpse of his jaw ticking, “I didn’t mean to strike a chord. Oh my gosh, ‘a chord’, accord. I really didn’t even mean to do that.”
You opened your other eye to get a clear view of him glaring at you. “Okay, sorry, I’ll be out of your hair in a moment,” you gave Steve a sly wink.
He stood up from the chair in a dramatic fashion, leaning down to get right in your face. “No. You won’t. Tell me everything you know about Rumlow.”
“Cap,” you pouted mockingly. “You’re not very good at this. Really makes a gal wonder why they keep sending you in to interrogate me, when you don’t seem to get much out of me.”
He grit his teeth while looking down at you, your eye contact both intense and passionate.
“If it makes you feel any better,” you began, looking away at a plain wall in an attempt to focus a bit more on leaving, “I genuinely know nothing about him.”
Steve gave you a humorless look, and your eyes naturally flitted back to him, “really,” he said drily.
“Really,” you confirmed. “We don’t really work in that whole chemical warfare field. Especially with a guy like Rumlow? He’s bad news. Did you really think that all ‘villains’,” you made air quotations on the table. “Know the intimate details of each other’s lives and plans?”
“Hmm,” Steve hummed aloud as he moved back, seemingly convinced.
“I was serious when I said that I’m leaving, though. You and I both have better things to do. But please tell Wanda that she did a good job for me, okay? I mean, civilian deaths are never pretty, but I genuinely would miss having you around.”
“I hate how you talk so much, but literally say nothing,” he huffed.
“I’m not gonna take that personal, ‘cause I know you don’t really mean that,” you sighed softly and looked away to visualize the outside of the building. “Hopefully the next time I see you won’t be UN sanctioned. Farewell, Captain.”
With those words, you were gone.
——
For the next few days of your life, you hadn’t stopped receiving an earful at the Brooklyn base. Mainly from your teammates, who seemed to never let things go, and were the nastiest gossips you’d ever met. Currently, rumor had it that Cecelia, your boss, was preparing to have a strong word with you.
You cracked your knuckles anxiously as you followed a teammate, Amelia, down into the sparring facility, as an attempt to calm your mind before whatever bad news was broken to you.
You passively listened to the TV in the corner of the room while wrapping your knuckles in preparation of getting your ass beat, and listened to the rapid fire reports from hours earlier in the day, but mainly tuned into the fight between the Avengers at the Leipzig airport.
“Have you heard?” Amelia questioned, tying up her lengthy hair as she sauntered onto the mat.
“No, tell me more,” you followed suit on the mat, rising onto the ball of your foot to the heel of your foot in an alternating rhythmic bounce.
“I guess some of it is that UN thing, but it’s probably because of the Winter Soldier,” Amelia bounced similarly to you before charging forward and throwing a left hook at you.
“No way! I thought that guy just disappeared after that S.H.I.E.L.D shit,” you dodged the swing, and went to knee her. “I swear, I asked Steve about it once.”
Amelia rolled her eyes at you, and caught your knee, pushing you down to the ground in the process. “You’re obsessed with him.”
“I think it’s mutual. And you said you’d go easy on me,” you whined, grabbing her extended hand and pulling yourself back up.
“You’re delusional, and that’s why Cec is pissed with you. In fact, Cecelia was so mad, that she couldn’t even form the words to tell you. At least, that’s what she told Naomi.”
“Why, though? It’s not like I haven’t been caught by him a million times already.”
“That’s the problem, though. What happens when they decide to send someone else in to talk to you? And they start waterboarding you, or some shit? All the sudden the Avengers know everything about us?”
“Well that wouldn’t happen, because I would leave,” you shrugged after blocking a few punches.
“I hope you’re getting all your aloof-ness out now, because Cecelia is not gonna put up with this attitude.”
You huffed, and marched over to get a sip of water, dramatically squirting it in your mouth before heading back to the sparring mat.
“Just let me enjoy this while I can, okay? I know how to protect myself,” you swung your fist in an uppercut, and Amelia maneuvered herself out of the way.
“Well, I was just reading something before this. Apparently your boy is a fugitive of the law now. It almost looks like your time is already up,” Amelia commented, delivering a stiff jab to you at the same time that you crouched.
Hearing this news, you froze up, and the punch landed right on your nose, an unsatisfying crack reverberating in your ears.
“Y/N, you alright?” She asked, approaching you as you reached a hand up assess the damage, and pulled away an extremely bloody hand.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you mumbled letting her lead you off of the mats and to the connected bathroom, so you could get a better look at yourself.
You were dizzy with pain, and you pressed your hand to your nose, willing it to heal. Though not your most frequently used ability, it certainly assisted some of the pain. You squeezed your face in a cringe as your bone rearranged itself.
“Is he in jail?” you asked, watching her face screw up in the mirror.
“You’re not really- you are a lost cause,” Amelia scoffed.
“You could be a little nicer to the person whose nose you just broke.”
“You’re fixing your own nose! You’re fine, okay?” she exasperatedly brought her palm up to her forehead. “I’m gonna go take a shower. Be ready to talk to Cecelia as soon as you leave this room. A word of advice? Don’t mention your work husband unless she mentions it first, okay?”
Amelia set a hand on your back and pat it, “good luck with her. If you need a sofa to crash on after this, my place is always free.”
You shook your head at yourself as she left, your own personal healing already fixing most of the damage. As you hopped into your own shower stall, you couldn’t help but question just how bad this confrontation was truly going to be.
——
You walked into Cecelia’s office after receiving a text message from her assistant, inviting you to meet with her.
You were handed a disposable cup filled with piping hot coffee as you entered, and Cecelia beckoned you to sit down in front of her. You obliged, nervously rubbing your hands on your pants as you sat.
“Y/N,” she began in a sigh, “what has gotten into you lately?”
“Nothing, just-“ the older woman put an open hand out, prompting you to stop.
“No, Y/N. You’ve let Rogers become your biggest blind spot. You let him catch you off guard and capture you nearly every single time you go out on the field! I’m starting to think that you want him to catch you.”
“What if I do?” you shrugged, feigning indifference.
“It’s not a ‘what if’ anymore, dear,” Cecelia took a deep breath. “Especially after what happened in San Francisco.”
“I- Cec, you told me that you wouldn’t bring up California anymore!” you huffed and shook your head. “It’s not even like it’s a problem. They haven’t once received intel from me,” you added.
“Something tells me that you won’t be having the same interrogator for a while at least. We were gonna take you out of the field before this whole Avengers fiasco, but I think it’s time for you to just take a break as a whole.”
“So you’re firing me?” you huffed, “great.”
“No, you are taking a break. We can get you set up in the Prague safe house, and everything.”
You weakly threw up your hands and looked away from Cecelia, not even being able to bear looking at her for the moment. What a great day you were having.
——
You sulked the whole way up to your apartment, and reached in your jacket’s pocket with sluggish speed. It was as if you couldn’t catch a break today, which was all you seemed to be able to think about while grabbing your key.
You looked up at the door, and noticed something slightly off. The door was just the slightest bit ajar, as if it was deliberately cracked for you to see. Someone was inside. Waiting for you. You held in your groan as you came to this conclusion.
You really couldn’t catch a break.
Despite your better judgement, you devised a quick plan in your mind. You could probably protect yourself, right? You closed your eyes in a blink, and imagined your kitchen. The plasticky tiles on the floor, the dent in your countertop from dropping a mug, the wooden cupboards that you’d quickly fallen in love with. The next moment, you were standing in your kitchen, right next to your silverware.
As quiet as you could possibly manage to be, you slipped your sharpest and largest knife from its home in a wooden block, and defensively in front of you. Creeping out of the kitchen and into your hallway, you examined area by area for any sign of intrusion, pointing your knife with every turn.
After finding nothing and no one, at the end of the hallway you turned, walking back down and stopping in front of your living room after noticing a few dark stains on your carpet.
You took a deep breath before walking into the open space, the pit in your stomach growing at the thought of what it was that you were about to find.
With a few timid steps, you found a shirtless Steve Rogers, sat on your couch, head lolled back, eyes squeezed shut in pain as he released shallow breaths and attempted to apply pressure to a wound. With one look at him, you yelped and involuntarily found yourself back in the hallway outside of the room, your fear strong enough to force you into teleportation.
“Funny seeing you here,” Steve began, and you stalked back into the room, your steps slightly less fearful as you stepped over his discarded tactical gear.
“Steve?” You whispered, setting the knife on a random bookshelf before kneeling down on the floor next to him. You had a plethora of questions, but you couldn’t decide what was the most important. “I- Are… What happened?”
He shrugged weakly.
“Okay, well how badly are you hurt?” You questioned apprehensively.
“Pretty badly,” he responded.
You nodded slowly while you attempted to process the entire situation. You couldn’t tell if this was a scene from your wettest dream, or worst nightmare. “I’ll be right back,” you muttered, leaving the room to grab some water to help you speed up your healing process.
As you reentered your living room, you set down the bowl of water and squatted down next to Steve once again. Dipping your hands in the liquid, and placing them on an open head wound, you found it appropriate to question him.
“Steve,” you began, watching the forehead laceration quickly shrink into a small scar. “Why are you here?”
“I had nowhere else to go,” he put plainly.
“A hospital, maybe?” you added, pushing away the hand that was currently holding down a rather bloody wound on his upper arm, and exchanging it for your own.
“Something tells me that a hospital isn’t the best place for a guy of my legal status to be at right now,” he countered while you halted your attempt to reduce the size of the wound, cracking your stiff knuckles in preparation for the final push of closing the abrasion. “Besides, this isn’t the first time we’ve done something like this before. You remember S-“
“San Francisco. Right,” you cut Steve off, and brushed off the previous comment. “This is gonna hurt a little,” you warned. before setting your fingers down, and putting an obscene amount of pressure on the bicep wound.
Steve grit his teeth so hard that you swore you could hear it. His muscles clenched as you resumed your attempt to soothe the sore.
“Hey, look at me,” you used your free hand, and gently pushed his cheek so that he was looking at you. “If I distract you, it’ll hurt a lot less. Trust me.”
He seemed to agree with you, and took in a deep breath while the corner of his eye twitched.
“How did you even find my apartment?” you asked, using your pinky to tilt his chin up, and force his view away from the cut.
“It wasn’t that hard, I mean, we’ve been tracking you and that ‘financial firm’ you work in for years,” he spoke through clenched teeth.
“You sure it’s not because you like to keep a personal tab on me?”
“No! Why would I…?”
“Because if all the Avengers knew where me and my teammates reside, we’d all be locked up already.”
“Fine, maybe I pulled a few strings. It’s just because I think you’re the biggest threat to the general public.”
“Really? The woman with the least destructive powers of all of us, not the one with super strength? Or the one who could manipulate elements? Or even, I don’t know, the person leading us?” you chuckled a bit at the poor excuse.
Steve rolled his eyes fondly, but you could clearly see the soft flush on his face.
“It’s okay, Steve. We all have our favorite coworkers.”
“We aren’t coworkers, though.”
“It seems like you’re gonna need all the allies that you can come across. Don’t get picky with me now,” you tutted, finalizing your work on his peck, and leaving behind a small, pink scar.
You let out a breath of exhaustion as you pulled your hand away, and pointlessly shook out your wrists.
“You alright?” Steve questioned, adjusting himself a bit on the sofa and grunting at the rather simple task.
“Fine. What else needs attention?”
He gestured to the light bruising on his ribs that only seemed to be getting darker by the moment.
“We should take a break first, though. You seem tired.”
“I told you that I’m perfectly fine,” you countered, setting one hand on your chest, and pointing a lazy finger at Steve, “you’re the one that needs a break.”
Steve grabbed your finger and gently pushed it down, “I don’t really, but maybe we should take a break.” He gave you a kind smile, and your heart fluttered. Even bartered and bloody, Steve managed to make you feel like a schoolgirl with a crush.
“Well, any great Captain America plans to get yourself out of this mess?” you leaned against the sofa, and twisted your torso slightly so that you could get a good look at your visitor.
“Nope, not yet,” Steve pursed his lips slightly. “Any input from the lady who seems to get out of every rock and hard place she finds herself in?”
You snickered, and shook your head at this, “not at the moment. But you have me on speed dial, right? I can get back to you when I think of something,” you joked with a wink.
“I would laugh, but I’m honestly a little nervous that my lung might pop if I do.”
“Oh fuck, Steve,” you scooted away from him so you could be closer to the bowl of water once again. “Why did we take a break? You need urgent medical attention.”
“You needed a moment.”
You shook your head and frowned, catching the inside of your bottom lip between your teeth, “don’t do that again.”
You dunked both of your hands in the water, then turned back around and set your damp hands on the bruising on Steve’s ribs, closing your eyes in concentration as you addressed the damage.
Steve howled out in pain, making you flinch as a result. With the hand doing less work, you blindly pat around in a search for something to shove into his mouth and dampen the noises he was currently making. Eventually settling on a blanket, you shoved the fabric deep into his mouth.
“Sorry,” you uttered while the muted noise of his pain rang through your ears, “neighbors.”
The task wasn’t the easiest for you either, healing what seemed like such a large break or fracture following several other injuries was depleting your energy quickly. Your arms and hands trembled as you began to watch the splotchy yellow mark begin to blend into the rest of Steve’s skin, and you were becoming more and more light headed by the second.
Feeling somewhat satisfied with your work, you pulled your shaky hands away, and leaned away from Steve’s body before losing your balance, and falling back onto your plush floor.
Steve yanked the blanket from his mouth, sticking out his tongue for a second as he attempted to pull a spare string from his mouth. He sat up rapidly, and looked down at you with raised brows, and big, frightened eyes.
“Y/N?” he asked breathily, still exhausted from his own exertion, “you still with me?”
Your chest rose and fell slowly, and you were silent for a moment before responding, “I just need a minute.”
Steve relaxed back into the sofa with the knowledge that you were at least still conscious, and waited a few beats before he spoke again, “thanks,” was all that he managed to utter.
The two of you sat there in an extremely loud silence, the only other noise being your nearly synchronized panting.
“I’m gonna go shower,” you announced after what felt like hours on your floor. You slowly rose, and dragged yourself to the bathroom in your bedroom. Hitting the shower valve, then sitting atop your countertop you let the suite fill with steam, reflecting on your bizarre day, but most of all, your interaction with Steve.
You let yourself dwell on this while you stood in the shower, forehead pressed against the warm tile as you considered the implications of every word shared between the two of you, and how you’d let this tiny crush get so far ahead of you. Maybe it really was a good idea to take some time away from New York. You were so deep in your own thoughts that you failed to catch onto the sound of the floorboard that loudly creaked in your living room, or the soft click of your front door opening and closing.
Changing into some more comfortable clothing, you exited the bathroom, and ultimately your own room ready to offer up your shower to Steve, and possibly even talk about your feelings in a serious manner with him. Yet, by the time you arrived at the couch that had held him just a half hour ago, it was vacant. In fact, your whole apartment was vacant. You’d checked three whole times.
Ending your fruitless search on your balcony, you settled down into the single plastic beach chair that you kept outdoors, and draped the blanket from your sofa that had previously been in Steve’s mouth around your shoulders. The chill of the night air contributed to the sting of your eyes when they welled up, and you told yourself that it was silly to ever think that this, you and him, could ever happen in the first place.
Gazing up at the stars, you cursed yourself for being so naive. For letting yourself fall so fast, and so hard for someone you knew so out of reach. The stars seemed to mock you, in all of their billions of years of knowledge.
Yet, part of you was comforted by the knowledge that Steve could be viewing the same constellations as you.
----
a/n: listen. i feel like these idiots have a lot of potential so if you want me to write any more of them i am totally down!
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