#I read a digital copy so that number might be off

[quotidianish]

“Where’s Winter?” he whispered, nudging Ostrich with his elbow. She sat up and looked around with blurry confusion.

  “I don’t know,” she said. “He was here a moment ago.”

Qibli twisted in a frantic circle and spotted a shadow flitting through the pear orchard. He couldn’t shout for Winter lest he alert the whole compound. Qibli groaned internally.

  “Stay here,” he whispered to Ostrich. “Stay as hidden as you can. We’ll be right back.”

She nodded, strutting back into the shadows.

  Qibli hurried after the Icewing prince and realized that he was aiming for the courtyard, separated from the orchard with a wall. It was enormous, surrounded with buildings and a partial bailey, blocking his view of the inside. The bricks were painted in a turquoise and amber mosaic of snakes and lizards chasing one another endlessly.

  Before even seeing where Winter was headed, Qibli knew all too well what he was planning to do. The courtyard was noisy with birds and other pest-like creatures, alongside the distinct growl of a dragon.

Arrrrgh, Winter, you obsessed ninny.

  He caught up as Winter was tinkering with the lock of the metal gate. It stretched up to an arch at the doorway, where the mud had begun to crumble, smelling of spoiled food, live pigs, and dates. 

“Are you serious?” he said, and Winter jumped a mile, which was almost hilarious enough to make this side excursion worthwhile.

  “Shhhhh!” Winter hissed.

“What are you thinking?” Qibli whispered.

  “I’m thinking your horrifying grandfather will make this poor dragon into tomorrow’s buffet,” Winter whispered back. “Unless I save it.”

“Right now?” Qibli asked. “In the middle of our own precarious escape?”

  “Well, I’m not planning on coming back!” Winter said, tugging on the lock again. “Hey, you’re a street thug. Can you pick this lock for me?”

  “An Outclaw is not the same thing as a criminal,” Qibli protested. “Oh, fine, move over.” He studied the lock for a moment, unsheathing his kirpan and inserting it into the mechanism, wiggling it around until he heard a click.

  “Now what?” he asked Winter as he nudged at the gate, careful not to open it too wide so the hinges wouldn’t creak. “We shove it in a bag and carry it off into the desert with us? I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this, but dragons aren’t exactly travel-sized.”

  “We’ll just let it out,” Winter said, pacing past him into the moonlit quadrangle. “It’s smart enough to fend for itself after that.”

   Qibli decided not to point out that it hadn’t been smart enough not to get caught in the first place.

  Winter crouched beside a large chain, bound against the beige dragon’s hind leg and anchored into the ground with weights. Despite having thrashed helplessly a moment ago, this time it peered curiously down at them.

  “Don’t be afraid,” Winter said softly. He looked around for the small alcohol lamp by the window they’d seen earlier, and carefully reached for its shackle. Upon bringing the flame close to the brass chains, the heat thawed through the metal like snow. They both stepped back and waited.

  Slowly, the levitation-esque creature raised its head, tearing its obsidian black eyes from the two humans and towards the night sky. A plume of smoke shot through the air as it flapped its enormous wings once, then twice, then lifting itself off the ground, sending a whirlwind of sand flying into Qibli’s face, before swiftly gliding away to freedom.

[xlettex]

Kenma’s not sure why he let Kuroo drag him out today.

He doesn’t need more games. Doesn’t want to be recognized. And definitely doesn’t want to watch Kuroo charm every employee in a ten-mile radius. But then they step into the store, and it’s quiet. Cool. Bright but not harsh. A bubble of calm.

And you’re at the register—sorting trade-ins, humming to yourself. You look up when the door chimes. “Hi! Let me know if you need help finding anything.”

That’s it. No double-take. No flushed gasp. No, “Wait, are you—?” Just… normal. Kenma exhales. Relieved. And maybe a little stunned.

Because you’re pretty. Insanely pretty.

Your hair falls messily around your face, but it suits you. There’s a pen tucked behind your ear. Your eyes shone when you spoke. And the enamel pins on your apron—small, colorful characters from games he knows—make his chest feel weirdly full.

Kenma is immediately, irreversibly doomed.

Kuroo leans in, whispering way too loudly, “Wow. A whole thirty seconds and no one’s mobbed you. It’s a miracle.”

Kenma shoves him with a sigh, trying not to fidget.

You raise an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Mobbed? What, are you famous or something?”

Kenma mumbles, “No.”

You let out a soft laugh. “Uh-huh. Sure. Mysterious hoodie guy with a bodyguard and a fear of crowds—totally normal.”

Kenma doesn’t say anything. Just stands there, mildly panicked and already hyper-aware of the way your smile curls at the edges.

You ease off a little, still smiling. “So... you looking for something specific, or just here to be cryptic?”

He shrugs, awkward. “Not really.”

You round the counter and gesture toward the shelves. “Well, we just got a few new arrivals. Depends on what you’re into.”

Kuroo snorts under his breath. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” he murmurs, clearly entertained, and drifts off toward the keychain rack.

You walk with Kenma, asking about mechanics and story preference. He answers in short bursts, hands shoved in his hoodie pocket. He keeps glancing at you and then away, as if he doesn’t trust himself to look too long. And every time you laugh, it knocks the breath out of him a little—something in his chest stutters, just for a second, then settles somewhere it shouldn’t.

He knows these games already. Owns most of them. But the way you talk about them—with love, and that kind of careful attention people don’t fake—has him pretending he’s never even touched a console. Just so you’ll keep talking.

“Since you like JRPGs, you should check this one out,” you say, holding it out. “It’s underrated. Surprising depth. And the bonus content is kinda hard to find unless you know where to look.”

Kenma takes it. He already has two copies—digital and collector’s edition. Played it on stream. Reviewed it. Recommended it to all his followers.

But your fingers brush his for half a second, and his entire internal system does a soft reset.

So yeah. He’s buying it anyway.

At checkout, you ring it up with a smile, slip the receipt into the case, and push it across the counter. “Enjoy. And hey—if you ever want a recommendation again, you know where to find me.”

Kenma nods, barely. His fingers tighten around the case—delicate, almost hesitant. He doesn’t look at Kuroo until they’re back in the car.

Kuroo’s already snickering. “You bought a game you already own?”

Kenma flips open the case, muttering, “Shut up.” Then he sees it—scrawled lightly on the bottom of the receipt in looping pen:

You seemed sweet. Here’s my number in case you ever wanna talk games :) xxx-xxx-xxxx ♡ 

He stares at it, stunned. His chest feels warm, weird, and good in a way he didn’t expect.

Kuroo leans over, reads it, and lets out an unholy sound. “Oh my god, you’re blushing,” he crows, grinning widely. “This might actually be the best day of my life.”

Kenma groans into his hoodie sleeve. “I hate you.” Kuroo laughs all the way home.

Kenma’s still holding the receipt. He’ll deny it later. But that night, he tucks it behind the frame of his second monitor, so it’s visible from where he streams. Then he opens his contacts and saves your number under Pretty Game Store Employee.

[kleptomaniakrow]

hi, i'm back on my brain rot bullshit! so you know what time it is... B^)

hear me out, (some) KorTac men (specifically König, Krueger and Nikto), dating an artist.

normally, i often see most drabbles and other thoughtfully crafted pieces delve down the writer route (go figure)! this prompt fucking possessed me whilst i was working on some art, so i'm imposing this idea into the ether for all of you to see!

kept it gender neutral! but there might be one femme-leaning pet-name + the use of "little one" for Nikto's bit! i am not a russian-speaking native so i hope the one i grabbed is gender neutral as well (feel free to correct me if it isn't)!

personally i'm run with his government first name being "Andre," this is not canon btw!

if they're a little ooc? uh... i'm still figuring out how to write these three idiots (affectionate)!

this barely proof read so if you see typos? uh... no you didn't.

enjoy these little pebbles of purely sickeningly sweet, silly fluff under the cut!🖤

♚ König. . .

✦ he would fucking love to see your drawings i will die on this fucking hill! this fact about you was one of the most exciting thing he ever learned about you! by god was this man like a child in a candy store witnessing all of your art pieces, new or old! ✦ this big, burly man gets so soft and proud seeing your sketches become finalized pieces. the art of creation is always such a wonderous marvel to behold in his opinion! seeing you tune out the rest of the world, when you fully submerge yourself into the motions is remarkable sight to behold. he's privileged that you let him be a witness to it! ✦ honestly, let's be real. he would take this chance to just stare at you (affectionately). because you're too deep in your own little world—likely with headphones on or music playing—perhaps even a podcast of choice! consuming your audio of choice as you pen your ideas to paper, be it on actual paper or on a more digital medium! ✦ if you ever, and i genuinely mean EVER, take the time to draw his portrait (with or without his face coverings)? just know this man would full-on bawl like a baby. pathetic snot dribbling from his nose, horrendously tearful but it's all for good reasons, please don't worry! ✦ "Mein schatz..." / "Do you like it?" / "I've no words that would do it justice... it's... incredible, maus." ✦ i bet fucking money he'd save that to his phone, keep a copy of it in his pocket of a kevlar vest. something tangible that you earnestly made for him with intents of capturing your muse onto parchment. between photos of you he keeps to himself, little traces of your existence just make his heart sing. parchment long since creased from how many times he's opened it and closed it, weathered and worn but it's something you made for him to keep. these items that were made or owned by you are invaluable, no amount of money could every buy these off of him. you, as well as anything you make, are treasures he'd protect indefinitely. ✦ in the sense of a long-distance relationship be it for deployment or otherwise, you'd often share what you're working on. be it still images or (stable internet, be willing), you lull him to sleep with delicate humming a tune you're listening to whilst sharing your screen, he'd watch you work on projects you're determined to see to fruition if he couldn't be home to observe you himself. ✦ if you're ever insecure about your work, this big ass goof (affectionate) would stumble over his words but he'd want nothing more than for you to constantly be up his ass about what you do, side-hustle or hobby otherwise. ✦ König is your number 1 supporter, he'd sooner turn in his premature grave before he'd ever slip up on an opportunity to let you think otherwise. even if you find your talent lackluster by comparison, he'd perish atop mountains shouting how talented his beloved Schatz is! the way you breath life into such fictitious subjects always drew him in. especially with how you drew eyes and expressions! (when he noticed you often mimic the facial creases yourself when focusing on expressions, but he'd never tell you. it's too precious to point out so brazenly). ✦ frankly, if this passion of yours is important to you? it's important to him, and he will not budge on this. what sparks you joy will be a wonderous experience for him too, and what partner would he be if he wasn't supportive of your interests, hobbies or line of work?

♜ Krueger. . .

✦ see, Sebastian would be a bit interesting because you'd think at first he'd pay little to no mind. ✦ his steps are so quiet around the house that half the time you're just ignorant of his presence for several minutes. a comedically long while before the inkling of someone behind you ever crossed your mind. ✦ it's not that you'd mind (not unless he scares the proverbial piss out of you, of course) but he just can't help but be curious. maybe he's not one for the modern arts (perhaps more classical?) but... you're his darling little liebling, he isn't so much as a fool to be ignorant of your interests. ✦ however he's not too partial to being separate from you; Krueger gives me the impression he's partial to physical touch... when he wants to be that is (frankly he's no better than a cat in my eyes). ✦ "Schatzi?" / "Hmmm~?" / "Come, bring your little drawing things with you if you must but I need you here," ✦ he now fully sees a character design you've been working on and admittedly... curiosity does get the better of him and he begins inquiring what you're working on whilst your form settles into his. ✦ "Oh! This is a commission for someone who paid me illustrate a character for their indie game!" he just nods along, allowing you space to involve him into this little world of yours. revealing to him the various concepts tossed back and forth between you and your client. ✦ Sebastian is (quietly) fascinated by how your creative little mind works. keenly taken notes, exhibiting your perceptive attentive to rather pedantic details―it's so (annoyingly) endearing. he's come to find himself enamored, entertained even, by your eccentric interests. your fixations are ones that vastly differ from his, but these are distinctive traits he's come to adore you for. ✦ he jokingly threw out the idea of how he'd look in such a world of whimsy given your subjects of focus is often fantasy. oh boy, he shouldn't have said that because now you have ideas and that is dangerous to give one's partner with only their imagination as a limiter. ✦ he'd be physically unable to admit to it, but he'd likely have saved the drawings that poured every ounce of love into. utterly taken by your imaging him in a knight's garb rather than tac pants and kevlar. the thought of you seeing him as such a regal-looking protector... he struggles to give name the feeling a name most days. the one that makes his stomach feel light and fluttery, his heart feel like a frantic bird caged by bone instead of metal. that same one makes his cheeks and ears warmer than normal.

♞ Nikto. . .

✦ see, there's just something about Nikto that gives me the impression he wouldn't even ask. however, don't mistake this as disinterest! baby boy is so fucking curious what his little one is doing! he's just unsure how to articulate such a.. loaded question(?) and you seem so focused on what you're doing! ✦ i kinda see him doing that animal-thing. y'know, the one where he just quietly observes every subtle movement, noise or expression that catches his eye‒you two more often than not just kinda "co-exist" together in the same shared space. not always needing to talk verbally. finding comfort in peaceful, silent company is more than enough between you two! this life led with tranquility is more than he'd ever dare to ask for. ✦ instead, i can see him bringing you sustenance and fluids, you're keeping yourself so, so busy! but you need to eat and drink at some point! things he knows you like! things that he's memorized by heart! it's always the quiet bitches like him (affectionate) who have an internalized backlog of information when it comes to you. it took quite the adjustment period when you made the off-handed remark that you like a specific blend of tea, and he ensured you'd never run out. ✦ little did he know, you were working on a passion project of the indie development. working along side a few other individuals, and you were the one designing characters for a game jam! intending to make a concept a protagonist who's build you're not exactly familiar with drawing (bulky, trained, fit. think professional dead lifter types which distantly remined you of Nikto). ✦ he couldn't help but notice that the usual focus is now tightly knit with frustration. the quiet, concerned glance he shot your way went unnoticed, far too deep in your own thoughts to really pay any heed to the brewing worry. he had to say something... anything to snap you out of this mental limbo that deafened you. ✦ "любимый?" ("beloved?") / "Huh?" / "Something troubles you...?" / "Trouble me?— oh! No, no I'm okay!" / "Your expression tells me different... will you allow me to listen? To.. help?" ✦ eventually the big brutish bear cuts through your thoughts to source the root of your worries! frankly, it'd cause you to wrinkle far earlier than you mean to! as prompted, you're airing out your grievances with this project being out of your comfort zone. it's hard to come up with a concept that you're happy with and you've deadlines to meet. he listens to you diligently, he may not understand the full weight of your plight; it matters to you, then it matters to him. ✦ you don't know how exactly, but eventually, somehow, you ended up enlisting Nikto's assistance! his figure is close enough the concepts the head of your team posted onto your inspiration board! ✦ somehow, that incorrigible art block just... magically vanished, it was mind boggling even to you. Nikto didn't really understand given all he did was slide you a few photos or posed for your creative use. but the creases on your brow line were softer if not gone entirely, so he'd consider his intervention a success. ✦ you find yourself looking at the game's protagonist (whom you coyly suggested he be named "Andre" for no suspicious reason at all), and you're elated! proud of it, too! it's evident that he bears Nikto's likeness in more than a few aspects aspects! aside from the build, of course. Nikto has been watching you work your magic, manifesting such artistry from nothing but your own thoughts. finding himself in awe watching, left only with silent reverence upon seeing you in your natural habitat of creation was... breath taking. however, he couldn't help but notice his heart thumping against his ribcage a little harder seeing his likeness in something you made. it was... flattering? is that the word he's feeling? seeing how you took characteristics that elicit hardship or grief but you captured his image with calm, quiet confident air. was this how you saw him, truly?

[ninja-muse]

August is over! My reading month felt like it took forever even though otherwise, the month flew by. I blame this half on my top two reads of the month, which I was only reading in short snippets, and half on a number of lackluster reads and DNFs. I'm hoping to get back into my usual habits in September.

I did do better on reading off my physical TBR though! Even though one book was a "aw man, what do I read now?" and two more were, "I'm behind on my goal, quick, read something fast!" Plus the T. Kingfisher, which was graciously provided by my work, as was Running Close to the Wind. (Finally a month where I didn't spend money to add to my library!)

As for my top reads, The Salmon Shanties would be near the top of my list even if there wasn't a degree of reverse-nepotism involved. Absolutely excellent poetry collection, very layered and complex. If you're into Canadian poetry or poetry-of-place, pick it up! And Rose/House, once I got it back from the library because my Libby hold ran out, was absolutely fantastic! As was the quality of the French translation, because it sounded like Martine. So very, very glad I had the nerve (and linguistic ability) to read it. Super-creepy and I'm glad Tor's picked it up so I can hype the heck out of it next year. And then there's Jinn-Bot, which I wrote an actual review for.

On the other end of the list, sigh. I DNFed one book for feeling kind of trite, and another for being too predictable, and probably should have DNFed Voyage of the Damned for being uneven but I needed to know who the killer was. The Library Thief I'm also counting as lackluster—very good book, just wasn't for me or what I was expecting. Still deserves a 7.

Lula Dean, on the other hand, was surprisingly good! Fun and satirical and just plain entertaining. Read it in a couple days and it would likely be higher on my list except my reasons to be "glad to have read them" this month are less about quality and entertainingness than usual. I can't put "really liked this" above "finally I get to read a new book by X!", for instance. Or necessarily above "learned stuff!"

You might notice a distinct lack of any other news, and that's because there is none. September may be marginally more exciting, we'll see. (I know there'll be a bigger book haul.)

Anyway, on to September now, and in the meantime, here's my list everything I read this month, in the rough order of how glad I was to have read them.

The Salmon Shanties - Harold Rhenisch

A collection of poems centered on and celebrating Cascadia in all its facets (or taking it to task, as the case may be). Out in September.

10/10

🇨🇦

warning: mentions racism, colonization, genocide

digital reading copy

Rose/House - Arkady Martine

There is a body within Rose House—two, if you count its architect, who ordered the house shuttered with his passing and left to its AI. Only one person is allowed to enter now, and she’s accounted for. And yet there is a body within Rose House….

9/10

🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: descriptions of a dead body

library ebook

The Jinn-Bot of Shantiport - Samit Basu

Lina and Bador want freedom: from surveillance, from power structures, for their city, for all bots, or just for their family. This might come from cunning, or revolution, or a lost ancient artifact, or an underground bot-battle, or swaying a visiting space hero or the Not-Prince. Much more than an Aladdin retelling.

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (multisexual, achillean), Indian-coded cast, Indian author

warning: discusses colonization and oppression, references police violence

reading copy

Unwritten, Vol. 8 - Mike Carey with Peter Gross, Dean Ormston, Yuko Shimizu

When Tommy Taylor learns that Lizzie is trapped in the land of the dead, he goes to rescue her—but he’s unprepared for his adventures there, or the wider implications.

8/10

Indigenous Australian secondary character

off my TBR

All Quiet on the Western Front - Erich Maria Remarque

Paul Bäumer recounts his time serving in the German army in WWI.

7/10

warning: war, death, animal death, gore, injury

off my TBR

A Sorceress Comes to Call - T. Kingfisher

Cordelia’s terrible mother has decided to marry a squire. Cordelia knows he and his sister don’t deserve that—but how to stop her, when she can do magic?

7.5/10

warning: child abuse, torture, murder, animal cruelty and death

finished copy received through work

A Man and His Cat, Vol. 4 - Umi Sakurai

Kanda gets the courage to make a new friend and revisit an old situation.

7/10

Japanese cast, Japanese author

off my TBR

A Gentleman from Japan - Thomas Lockley

The true story of a Japanese man who was brought to the court of Elizabeth I and influenced early modern English science.

7.5/10

warning: slavery, orientalism, war and violence

library book

Lula Dean’s Little Library of Banned Books - Kirsten Miller

In Troy, Georgia, the fight for public decency is kicked off by Lula Dean, who craves attention and loves her Southern history—and her fencepost library, where someone’s put wholesome jackets over books she’s tried to ban….

7/10

ensemble cast including Black, 🏳️‍🌈 (gay, lesbian), and Indo-American POV characters

warning: Nazis, anti-Semitism, anti-Black racism, homophobia, rape, suicide

reading copy

The Library Thief - Kuchenga Shenjé

Florence talks her way into a job repairing a lord’s library, but is quickly drawn in by the mysterious death of the lady of the house. A gothic novel centering race, gender, and other marginalizations in late Victorian England.

7/10

Black British main character, Black British secondary characters, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (trans woman, sapphic), Black British author

warning: racism, including slurs; rape, abuse, misogyny, queerphobia

library book

The Voyage of the Damned - Frances White

A grand state voyage is upset by murder and it’s up to the lowly, non-Blessed Ganymedes to catch the killer before they dock. Goddess help them all if he doesn’t….

5.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (multisexual), fat protagonist, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (nonbinary, ace, trans man, sapphic, achillean), Indian-, African-, and Japanese-coded secondary characters

warning: murder, injuries, blood, colonial thinking, attempted genocide, suicidal thoughts

reading copy

DNF

Remedial Magic - Melissa Marr

Safe and ordinary Ellie meets a mysterious woman in her library, and is whisked to a fantasy world where she’s probably a witch—and almost certainly in trouble.

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 author

reading copy

Casket Case - Lauren Evans

Garrett stops to ask for directions at Nora’s casket shop and they hit it off. Unfortunately he works for Death…. Out in September.

African-American secondary characters

reading copy

Currently reading

A Natural History of Dragons - Marie Brennan

A memoir by Lady Trent, renowned natural philosopher and adventuress, but covering her childhood and first expedition, to the mountain highlands of Vystrana, and the troublesome dragons encountered there.

library book

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts. The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle Victorian detective stories.

disabled POV character (limb injury), occasional Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 11 Yearly total: 70 Queer books: 1 Authors of colour: 3 Books by women: 6 Authors outside the binary: 0 Canadian authors: 1 Classics: 1 Off the TBR shelves: 4 Books hauled: 2 ARCs acquired: 3 ARCs unhauled: 6 DNFs: 2

January February March April May June July

[paintersknife]

Simulacrum

Her face is the first thing he sees when he wakes up. It’s familiar somehow, but he can’t put his finger on it, as if the memory is shrouded in cobwebs, an old thing, desiccated and forgotten. (Where has he seen her? When has he seen her?)

“What’s your name?” she asks, but it’s clear that she isn’t really talking to him, judging by the way her hands reach out to grab his wrist, turning it to face her as she reads the serial number printed there. (Was that always there?)

“It’s Cl-” (It’s the one thing he knows.)

She cuts him off, dropping his hand as she reaches past him to pull out a thick manual from somewhere deeper in the pod, still refusing to look him in the eye. “03L-3103.”

There’s an expression on her face that he’s never seen before, but somehow it makes something deep inside of him hurt.

Setting herself down on the edge of the pod, she starts to flip through the book, leaving him in relative silence as he pushes himself up and out of it. She thinks that he doesn’t notice the small sob that she lets out while her face is obscured by the manual. (He does.)

“It says here that you have a memory chip and an emotion simulation module,” she says quietly after a time. Her voice is a little thick, as if she’s not used it in a while. “It also says that it might take a while for your memories to stabilise. So you should grab what you need and come with me. I can’t just leave you here.”

He goes with her, slowly shaking off the stiffness in his mechanical joints from being so long confined. It feels familiar as he walks with her and something buried deep within his memories stirs. (But was there always a distance between them like this?)

Fragments of recollections begin to coalesce in his mind, enough for him to know that they meant something to each other, once. It isn’t enough to make her look at him, isn’t enough to make him ask her about it.

Later while he’s helping to help her set up her camp, he catches her stealing glances at him with a faraway look in her eyes like she’s looking through him and at someone else. (Who is that expression meant for?)

“I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable,” he says, keeping his voice as gentle as he possibly can. She looks away, guilt in her expression. (What does she have to be guilty about?)

The silence between them seems to stretch on forever.

“You aren’t him,” she says eventually, her voice cracking. “He’s dead. He’s long dead and you’re just a copy with his face.” (He’s always known. A perfect copy is still just a copy.)

Her face falls at the harshness of her own words, regret written all over her face as her eyes flick to the floor, as if she’s unable to keep looking at the face of the man she once loved. He doesn’t blame her, after all, he is merely an imitation of something original, a prime version, perfection in all its flaws and he knows he can never attain that purity. All he is to her is someone’s ghost. 

What is he to do then, with these memories that aren’t his? With these emotions that feel so vivid that he’s afraid his exoskeleton will burst apart, leaving him the empty shell that she sees him as? Are they even his at all, or are they just lines of code, written and encoded to give him some semblance of substance? Is he merely a collection of silicon and gold, assembled and produced, a puppet pulled by digital strings? If that’s so, where does that leave him?

Tears well up in her eyes, overflowing and streaking their way down her cheeks. It makes his chest ache, but it's such a beautiful sight to him despite that, worth encoding in his memory. Would she even cry for him like she would for the one that she lost? (Is he even worth her tears?)

He can’t help but think that the real Clarence wouldn’t even have these doubts. 

Gently he pulls her towards him, wrapping his arms around her when she doesn’t resist. She buries her face in his shoulder, finally letting herself grieve all that she’s lost, all that she’s found. He doesn't know how long their time together will last, but he'll love her as much as she will let him. (It’s what he would have done.)

[mariacallous]

In many ways, I love living in the digital age. As someone who grew up in the analog world (my first journalism job, as a college intern, involved a manual typewriter and carbon paper), I am still delighted to be able to find out, within 10 seconds, whether a particular movie star is still alive or to share my latest column with the entire world through a social media post.

But the downside of digital life is driving me batty – so much so that I sometimes consider trying to go off the grid altogether to seek a less frustrating existence. I have a fantasy of this simple life that I describe as Full Bore Thoreau. It involves listening to birdsong and reading Russian novels while occasionally using a landline to maintain contact with other humans.

What has brought me to this point? Consider, as one of many examples, my recent adventures with usernames and passwords, involving E-ZPass, the device that allows you to travel through toll barriers without stopping to hand over cash. When I signed up for it many years ago, I apparently got a username and password. And I gave them my credit card information so that it could be charged when necessary.

All went well for years; I would get hard-copy statements in the mail from time to time, but never kept them around for long. I gave this arrangement no thought, until the day I got a voicemail message, claiming to be from a law firm, saying I had accrued massive E-ZPass debt.

I thought it might be a scam so decided to check my account balance, something I had never felt the need to do before. Signing in involved that original username and password. But, horrors! It turned out that my username was not my email address. I tried to retrieve it via my cellphone number or email address but only descended into concentric circles of digital hell. A phone call – old-school, I know – to customer service resulted in a demand for my account number, but in order to get that, I needed to, yes, sign on to my account. Round and round I went.

Of course, an issue like that is minor, one tiny piece of the daily puzzle that involves all the ways that we (and institutions like banks or employers) try to protect digital security. Two-factor authentication now stops us at every turn. To log in, you need to put in the code that’s just been sent to your phone, but as you go to your text messages to find it, the original question somehow has disappeared into the ether.

Those of us who do any freelance work descend to a special torture chamber that comes with registering as a “vendor” with part-time employers. This involves layers upon layers of proving your identity, submitting tax forms and navigating multilayered payment systems with weird names and byzantine processes. Not long ago, I got an email from the accounts payable department of a large media company that began with this less than promising line, including the capitalized F: “Your Form has been received and forwarded for processing.” It then directed me to the “secure onboarding portal”, where many other incomprehensible steps awaited.

All of this, I remind myself, is a result of privilege. These are the very definition of first-world problems, and I’m lucky – in a sense – to have them. But it doesn’t feel that way. Often, I wish I could step off the digital merry-go-round.

At best, such challenges help me to develop patience as I plod through the steps, ask for help when possible (often from a digital native, possibly including my son or daughter), and eventually solve the problem – as I did with the EZ-Pass puzzle.

The solution there, it turned out, was marvelously old-fashioned. I dug out a small notebook from a drawer, filled with scrawled usernames and passwords going back for years. And there the answer was, in all its inky glory. My login was successful, my account balance was fine, and I deemed it unwise to respond to the self-described lawyer.

Victorious for the moment, I moved on to the inevitable next hassle, while dreaming of fishing for my meals from the banks of Walden Pond.

[skyfcx]

[ Playing PROWER_MEMO_#1.wav ] [ Enabling Audio Descriptions ]

     The sound of a computer chair's plastic wheels rolling across a concrete floor can be heard. A person sits in the chair with a thump, pulling the chair closer to the mic as they clear their throat.

     "Alright, let me make sure that everything is up, and...!

     "Okay! This is the first of my audio logs reporting on the information found within Gerald Robotnik's personal journal. Sadly, I don't have the physical copy, that gem of an item is still in the hands of one Ivo Robotnik. I had stumbled across it while scouring Eggman's base during a fight between him and Sonic, and... it felt wrong to take it from the Doctor, if I'm being honest.

     "Despite everything, these are still his grandfather's thoughts... his workings and machinations. To take the source material from Eggman feels unjust. But I was able to make a digital scan of his journal while I was there, and that is what I will be viewing during this observation session. There are a great deal of mysteries that surround Project Shadow, the ARK, and Gerald Robotnik as a whole. And the man's very thoughts written down could very well clear up some of those enigmas.

     "For the sake of archival, I'll be reviewing these pages for all who care to listen."

Entry #42

     "It's always so odd to hear more about the Robotnik family tree. We as a society are so used to Eggman that it's often hard to forget that he's a person just like anyone else. He wasn't made in a lab, he isn't some alien from a far-off planet. He's human, he had a mom and dad too. And, in fact, one of those two men in the enclosed photo is the very latter!

    Project Shadow took place over fifty years ago by now, and this picture was taken even before that point, so... I'm not quite sure if any of the men in this photo are still alive...

     I truly do wonder if the Robotnik name will ever find some reprieve in the future. Eggman's done quite a number to it, but it might have been a fantastic thing at some point in the past."

Entry #170

     "It's entries that these that prove the value of this notebook. This proves that Gerald Robotnik has been to Angel Island! To keep theory speculation brief, this confirms some thoughts I've heard about the drastic change between the prototype version of Project Shadow and the final version. Gerald Robotnik eventually went from a giant lizard to a black and red hedgehog! Quite the difference, isn't it? Well, we know exactly where he got his point of inspiration!

     On Angel Island, there lies an ancient stone mural in the deepest recesses of the terrain depicting a fight between a hedgehog with upturned quills and a supermassive entity. The actual image being depicted is another story, but glancing at the hedgehog seen, if you compare it to Shadow, you can certainly start to see the similarities. This image must have made a lasting impression on Gerald when he discovered it, even though his stay wasn't long.

     Also, I would like to pull a specific excerpt from the journal to comment on. Reading it brought a thought to my mind and I would like to share it. "

"I dared not approach or overstay my welcome. As much as I wanted to explore every inch of the island, I felt it was a sacred land; just setting foot on its soil felt taboo."

     "The level of care and respect that Gerald held for the space he was in is remarkable... He held consideration for his work, as well as the space he performed his work within. Gaia, I truly aspire to be like that man... It's a shame Eggman couldn't be the same."

Entry #185

     "The ARK...! It's a mechanical wonder that puts something like the Death Egg under the table! It's important to note that it's not just a space station, it was a space colony!

     The standard amount of time that a collection of people can live on a space station clocks in at little over a year. But there had been word that the ARK was aiming to make that time indefinite! They were still a little way's off of their goal, but talks of even interstellar gardens within the confines of the colony were probably underway every day!

     Science can oft be feared for its ambition in the face of what others may see as mundane obstacles, and I would have to agree that there are times where the overzealousness of the brilliant can continually be their downfalls... but the will to make space habitable is awe-inspiring. The fact that we hold the power to make such a feat possible, it... it mesmerizes the mind! I don't know how a thing like that could fail to make anyone thrilled with scientific progress!

     What I wouldn't give to be a bug on the wall during those first few months, or even the first year, of the ARK's launch. It must've been more active than the insides of a live battery! Oh, to go back in time and see how it all unfolded... I'd be a kid in a candy shop, guilty as charged! After all, this pursuit had any dollar available put into it! I bet they had every conceivable toy up there, just dying to get its money's worth~!

     Sidenote: I find it funny that even Gerald sometimes had a bit of an ego with his self-image. To his own self-admittance, right here in those pages! The ARK's visual appearance and the Death Egg's visual appearance... Like grandfather like grandson, I suppose...!"

[gamesception]

Sception Reads Cass Cain #37

Batgirl (2000) #17 - August 2001 Writer: Kelley Puckett Pencils: Damion Scott inks: Robert Campanella Colors: Jason Wright

Cass's book as been pretty downbeat for the last few issues. The tone of Cass's book overall is pretty sad and heavy, and normally I'm all about that angst, but the book can't live on angst alone, so have to have some brighter moments for contrast, you've gotta take the pressure off every once in a while if you want to keep building it or you just burn out the scale. So this issue brings us a refreshing change of pace, if only to give Cass and the reader a bit of a breather.

Sorry if this one goes up late. I'm running behind time wise, but I don't want to take a minimal approach to this issue, it's pretty important and has a lot of great moments. Do pease read it for yourself first, though.

The issue starts with this pretty cool sequence showing Cass's perspective as she gets distracted by the woman running away and lets this random goon land a punch on her. I like how the slideshow effect of the three repeated panels really emphasizes how much time Cass had to dodge this punch.

Followed by this great 'like father like daughter moment after she knocks the guy out where Cass and Bruce both have the same surprised and befuddled "Hmm" reaction to what just happened, with the same expression on their face and everything.

The perfectly synchronized training afterwords is also great, as is Bruce's worried expression. I can't keep copying every page over, we'll be here all day, but this issue really is great. One of my favorites. Again, go read it for yourself if you haven't.

Anyway, on the one hand this is such an indictment of Bruce. We the audience know that 'somethings been wrong' with Cass for a while, basically the entire time. She's consumed by guilt to a near suicidal degree and the loneliness and isolation of her lifestyle - even before she was forced out of Bab's clock tower but especially since - has left her without any companionship beyond her own self destructive thoughts, and the mission she's so dedicated to as her only hope of redemption continuously exposes her to the worst of humanity. So yeah, that Bruce didn't already know something was wrong, that he didn't anticipate how his decisions were making things worse, that he only notices that anything's off at all once Cass's mental state is bad enough that it's affecting her performance on the job? Yeah, that's pretty bad, if also so completely him.

On the other hand, you can see the concern all over his face. He should have seen this coming, he should have noticed it sooner, but now that he has he is very genuinely worried on her behalf, and that does count for something, even if he'll need help figuring out what's wrong or what to do about it.

And that help just so happens to call in the form of Barbara Gordon, who can hack in to delete the government's digital records on Cass's face, but needs her to sneak in and destroy the physical records.

At first Cass and Bruce don't feel like this is worth bothering with, as neither sees any value in her potential future civilian persona worth taking this risk to get it back, but Babs points out how they might yet connect the data they have to Batgirl and that convinces Bruce, which in turn convinces Cassandra because she absolutely does not think for herself these days.

I love this Jab Babs gets in at Bruce as Cass leaves, though I do wish it was made a bit more explicit that the *reason* Bruce has been keeping Cass on such a 'short leash' is that he doesn't fully trust her ever since David sent the video of her killing that man way back in issue number 4. On the surface Bruce is still deep in denial over it, but some part of it has to know, has to doubt at least. As is I'm pretty sure that's intentional subtext but because it's not explicit in the text I could just be reading in something that isn't really there.

In infiltration mission is pretty cool, starting with this sequence where Cass steals a key card off of a guard's bead chain, copies it, and puts it back without him noticing, which has Barbara admitting that the 'short leash' is starting to make sense. Just what exactly would Cass be capable of if she were allowed to run free?

....

The mission is successful, the files and physical evidence destroyed, and Cass's out-of-costume persona is free and clear. She can visit Barbara again, can see the sun again. Can. But will she?

Babs clearly doesn't think she will, at least not on her own, and so she goes to Bruce about it

It's a nice scene. I've missed Bab's presence in Cass's book the last few issues. This 'arguing over what's best for Cass' bit is fun, and also important characterization. I love how Bruce's expression as he says "Mole creature?" makes clear that he recognizes Bab's comment as a criticism of him and his lifestyle.

Of course, Bruce has a different idea of what's been bothering Cass. Not the isolation, not how /he's/ been treating her, but the mission. Everything's the mission for Bruce, and Cass is just like Bruce after all. The thing is, as right as Barbara clearly is here, Bruce probably isn't wrong either. Cass, like Bruce, dwells on her 'failures'. But taking down the villain responsible never actually makes Bruce feel any better.

Barbara still presses him to just order Cass to get some sun. The fact that she shouldn't need Bruce to tell her to do that, that this level of devotion and lack of independent motivation is a bad thing in and of it self, is too big of a problem to tackle today.

And to his credit Bruce relents!

I love these panels. You can feel how overwhelming the light is after so long in the darkness. Also good work from the colorist, showing this transition by going from all dark and cool colors that dominate her book to these warm (but washed out and too bright as her eyes struggle to adjust) colors. I mean, it's a fairly obvious trick, like being wowed when a musician changes chords, but it just works so well here.

And it's not just the sun, it's the people. Not just cass literally going from darkness to light but also going from being surrounded by victims and criminals, by the suffering and the cruel, and emerging into a wider world full of all the breadth and diversity of the human experience, loud happy annoyed worried people walking and running and shouting and living their lives that Scott does such a great job conveying with just a single page full of different and interesting faces.

And afterwards she's so happy, having picked up a rose from, somewhere, we don't see that bit. But of course Bruce needs to interrupt this moment of happiness.

So Cass does go to confront gov't man.

but clearly she doesn't actually feel better about what happened afterwords.

Her symbolism happiness rose, only so recently acquired, is already wilting. It's clearly not the sort of thing she can go to Bruce about. So, for once, now that she can, Cass actually reaches out to Barbara for help. About the rose. About what it means that getting justice for repentant sniper man's death didn't make her feel any better about it.

It's a great little scene to end out the comic. Symbolism's a bit on the nose, but it works. it's sincere.

The angst and darkness of the last few issues has been a lot, but it makes this bit of brightness feel all the more impactful. The underlying issues aren't resolved, it's still a problem that Cass has basically slotted Bruce into exactly the same unhealthy role that David used to occupy in her life. It's still a problem that Bruce let her do that. A real confrontation when Bruce can no longer deny the fact that she killed someone is still looming, as is her death match with Lady Shiva. But she's not quite so isolated now, and she's re-established a connection with someone who might actually be able to help her work through some of this stuff.

This might be the issue that best demonstrates the importance of Barbara Gordon in Cass's story, the key role she plays balancing out Bruce's influence. these interpersonal relationships and how they feed off each other - Cass/Bruce/David, Cass/Bruce/Barbara, they're the core of what makes Cass's book and Cass as a character so compelling.

......

Side note: I've waffled in the past over how much crediting to put at the start of each of these posts in terms whether to include inker and/or colorist even though I rarely comment on those issues. I'm wondering if I should also list the editor each time, as they also potentially have a pretty big say over what does or doesn't end up in the books, and keeping track of changing editors might be informative as to other changes in direction, or might show why some of Cass's side appearances work better than others?

For the Record, at least as far as her solo book goes, the editor as of issue 17 is Michael Wright, who took over from Dennis O'Neil starting in issue 14, the one where Bruce moved Cass out of Barbara's clock tower and into her own cave. Dennis O'Neil had been the editor of the book since issue 3 and co-edited issue 2 with Darren Vincenzo, who was the editor for issue 1. I think Michael Wright stays as editor for the rest of Cass's Batgirl run, save maybe for some one off exceptions here or there? So noting editors would be more for the sake of guest appearances.

There's also the issue of who's in charge at DC. As of issue 17 that's still Jenette Khan as President and Editor in Chief, but eventually Dan DiDio takes over, and it'll be worth noting when that happens. The fandom tends to assign him a lot of the blame for 'ruining' Cass's character, but as mentioned a few times already they also tend to date that downturn purely to the end of her ongoing title and heel turn in 'One Year Later.' I claim the decline started setting in much sooner then that, but I don't remember whether it started before or after DiDio's tenure as EIC began.

That's still a long way off from where this blog currently is, though.

Thankfully.

[rickmoya]

the books I read in 2024

Mrs. Dalloway, Virginia Woolf (1)

Digital Cosmopolitans, Ethan Zuckerman

Speak, Laurie Halse Anderson (2)

How To Take Over the World, Ryan North

To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever, Will Blythe

Hark! A Vagrant/Step Aside, Pops, Kate Beaton (3)

Making a Point: The Persnickety Story of English Punctuation, David Crystal

Ducks, Kate Beaton

Operation Do-Over, Gordon Korman

Fight Club 2: The Tranquility Gambit, Chuck Palahniuk and Cameron Stewart (4)

The Fort, Gordon Korman

Romeo and/or Juliet, Ryan North

Turning Japanese, MariNaomi

Abroad in Japan, Chris Broad

Ready Player Two, Ernest Cline (5)

Interesting Stories for Curious People, Bill O'Neill (6)

Hell of a Hat: The Rise of '90s Ska and Swing, Kenneth Partridge

Swamp Story, Dave Barry

The Secret to Superhuman Strength, Alison Bechdel

Blood, Bones and Butter, Gabrielle Hamilton

Flavorama, Arielle Johnson

Welcome to St. Hell, Lewis Hancox

Peasprout Chen: Future Legend of Skate and Sword, Henry Lien (7)

The City of Ember, Jeanne DuPrau

Crying in H Mart, Michelle Zauner

Out Of My Mind, Sharon M. Draper

italics: read it before struck: unfinished

Maybe I just suck at reading now that I'm past 40? I don't know. The last few years I've been making excuses and padding out my list with rereads, but at some point you have to acknowledge the trends. My trend is fewer books. This might be the lowest number I've hit in any year since birth.

I also read ten years each of the webcomics Schlock Mercenary and Sluggy Freelance. Got to a point I hadn't read before, but not finished with either.

I did rotate some stock off my TBR shelf, at least. Not that you'd know to look at it — the shelf is as full as ever. Then again, at least four books up there are rereads, and three others are juv/YA. Maybe I'll make more progress in 2025.

Goals:

Ding 40. (I originally put 50, but, like, come on. Trend.)

At least 40% authors who are not white men. (I did OK there this year: 12/26, not counting the trans guy who is technically a white man.)

At least 10 books off the TBR.

----------------------------------------------

So. I've had this book on my TBR since college. (The first time.) I took a modernist English lit course where we read Ulysses and To the Lighthouse, and Mrs. Dalloway was one of the comparative important links, but after Joyce I wasn't gonna do it right away. I found my copy at a mega library sale around the time I graduated. Opened it several times over the last 25 years, but the stream-of-consciousness/internal-monologue style meant (for me) that I couldn't set it down and come back and remember what was going on. So finally I had a free day and read the whole thing in almost one go. (I technically didn't do this until July, but I attempted to do it during a day off in January, which is why it's first.)

Substitute teaching exposes me to a lot of teacher libraries. Sometimes during a prep period I can read stuff from them. For this book (which I'd heard of but never opened) I was covering a classroom that was empty for nearly four hours.

I started poring through Beaton's comics on her archived website. When I realized my library had two books of it in print, I checked those out for easier reading. This entry encompasses all of it.

It's a graphic novel! It's totally unnecessary! It gets way too meta (to the point that it acknowledges IN TEXT that it's too meta)!

If you feel like you need to read this, ask yourself: have I already read Ready Player One? If so, then ask: was my favorite part the constant Family Guy-style "memba this?" references. Because this is that, just with different fandoms.

My niece got me this one. It's like a book full of factoids or the beginnings of stories. Not immersive, but good for while waiting through piano lesson.

Another substituting library selection, about an alternate-universe Taiwan where the predominant mode of transportation/self-defense is ice skating. I had a prep, thought this is a stupid book and then read half of it before the day was over. So endearingly stupid, I checked it out of the public library to finish.

[solarishashernoseinabook]

Could you expand on what you said in a post about libraries about the big 5 publishers screwing over libraries in terms of digital lending rights?? I’ve not heard of that at *all* and im generally pretty caught up on publisher news, so I think theres a pretty big library-shaped hole in my sources lol

All righty, a couple disclaimers here. One, this is from a Canadian library perspective, so idk how well it applies to the US. Two, I don't work in the collections department at my library, so I'm basing this off what I remember from class years ago

(also clarifying that I'll be referring to ebooks and audiobooks collectively as digital books just to make it easier)

But in short, the Big Five publishers only very reluctantly put up with libraries having physical books, and one of the reasons they do that is because only one person can have a physical book at a time. Digital books, though? Why, if a library has a copy of one of those, hundreds of people could read it at a time! That's profits they're losing! How terrible!

But, well, selling to libraries is still a sale, so the companies sell to them but restrict it as much as possible. One, libraries pay much more for digital books than your average consumer. I don't have the exact number, but it's significantly higher. Two, unlike a physical book, which a library can have rebound if it's popular but hard to find, and which could conceivably last years if it's hardcover or paperback binding, digital books have severe limits on them. Maybe the library can only buy one "copy" of a digital book - i.e., only one patron can use it at a time. That digital copy artificially expires after 20 loans or 2 years, whichever comes first. Got a waitlist of 50 people waiting to read the latest Alexander McCall Smith book? Too bad! 30 of them are gonna have to go without! Do you have a moderately popular book by Danielle Steel, which gets borrowed every couple of months? Sorry! You've had it for two years, so it's gone now! Better buy a new copy!

Now, this is the case on digital platforms like Libby/Overdrive. Each digital book acts the same as a physical book, except that most of them go away after a certain amount of time. Certain public domain books might be a one-time buy for libraries, but for the most part, every loan, every week that goes by is chipping away at a digital book's life. Certain digital platforms - Hoopla, for example - have what's called "simultaneous use" policies - maybe you only have one ebook copy of a book by Agatha Christie, but every library patron can read it at once. The trade-off for this is that my library has to pay a certain amount for every person currently reading or listening to a book on Hoopla. We have a daily budget that can't be exceeded. Every week we field calls from people who, one afternoon, wanted to open up Hoopla, but were told they couldn't take out any books - because too many of my library's 40 000 active patrons had also decided to enjoy a book that day. And not every publisher even allows simultaneous use licenses, or they don't allow it on all of their titles

A final reminder to this very long post: please do not boycott Libby or Hoopla over this, I beg of you. Your libraries are pouring a lot of money into them because they're being used. Instead, put pressure on the big five publishers to make their digital books accessible, and vote in your municipal elections to get libraries more funding so we have more budget to put into those items. An easy way to increase your library's funding is just to spend a bit of time a week in there. Hang out with your friend for a few hours, just walk in and look at the shelves, or sit there and use their free wifi to play games on your phone. Digital books are here to stay, and libraries are important for getting those books into people's hands

[kryptonitecore]

Reread: Transformers: Hearts of Steel

Hearts of Steel had some interesting places to go and an attention-grabbing concept - Transformers in the age of steam. However, I don’t think the art always used that concept to its advantage and a lot of the designs ended up being quite generic. This was not helped by the fact that a number of the characters were made monotone, with grey being a very prevalent colour. Overall, the art, though not bad, seemed something of an afterthought, which was odd for a miniseries like this. The initial concept art for the series came from Ted McKeever, but three out of four issues were by Guido Guidi, and one of the issues was done by Antonio Vasquez and Luis Czerniawski - so perhaps this was a product of the concept being passed around a fair bit, for example some characters’ designs and colours change substantially between issues.

As for the time period, it’s not meant to be a realistic take and that might be for the best - Mark Twain and Jules Verne are palling around, John Henry shows up, etc. I’m not very knowledgeable about this period of American history, but I think this is going for more of a lighthearted, folkloric tone. I quite liked the book initially, as it seemed simple, but as if it was heading somewhere quickly. That impression soon started to wear off - the characters were flat and one-note and dialogue was blunt. A lot of the characters didn’t have much to do, including both Transformer characters and human characters, Bonaventure and Vanflet being good examples of this.

The pacing also seemed odd to me, as it made the whole mini-series seem like a non-event. I was reading a digital copy and hadn’t realised the comic was ending until I clicked onto the next page and there were the closing panels. There was very little build-up,and therefore I think the climax of the story slipped past me without my even realising that it was supposed to be the highpoint. 

As intriguing as the central concept is, I can’t honestly recommend this one. Alright, back to the Spotlights!

[everygame]

Well, I absolutely did not expect it to take an entire year from exp. 2600 to the next issue, but such is life, honestly. Either way I'm terrifically pleased to announce that exp. 2601 will be debuting this weekend as part of Spring Online Canzine 2024, Canada's premiere zine festival running April 13th to 21st. 

This issue covers the eleven games released for the Atari 2600 in 1978, with essays on Space Invaders and the year 1978 to provide context. Even if you're not particularly interested in the Atari 2600, I think there's a lot in here for anyone interested in video games and their history, so I hope you'll check it out.

As with the first issue, exp. 2601 is being published in a signed, numbered limited edition of 52 and I'm also making it available as a PDF and ebook for people who don't want a little object, but still want something to read on an iPad or a Kindle with a bit more focus than they'd give to a webpage.

I am opening pre-orders here today, in advance of Canzine, so I can announce the issue with enough time to ensure subscribers know about it and are aware that they automatically receive 35% off in our ko-fi shop (including on new issues.) It's just $1 per month to become a subscriber, and you'll also get new articles a week early (as well as regular exclusive articles.) Physical copies will be sent out in the last week of April, with digital copies arriving as soon as Canzine begins.

In addition, and not to bury the lede here, for the first time since 2020 my ebook collecting the best of the original run of exp., exp. negatives, is also available for pre-order today, and will be on sale during, and only during, Spring Online Canzine 2024 (to reiterate: April 13th-21st).

If you don't have any of my available digital publications (exp. 2600, 2601, and negatives) I have also made a bundle of all three available for pre-order with a $2 discount for all (and if you're a subscriber, that stacks with your discount!)

I'd like to thank everyone reading this for their support across the years and let you know that there are more exciting things in the pipeline for exp. this year. Did you know it's been ten years since I started Every Game I've Finished? That fact might become important...

[sartorialadventure]

hello! i recently thrifted a fashion plate from la mode illustrée, with no information or date with it. i can’t find this specific print anywhere online, either. do you have any tips for figuring it out/ideas of where to look? based off of what i’ve read on the fashion, i’m thinking it’s late 1850s-early ‘60s, but i’m not sure. (i’m also pretty sure it isn’t a later reprint.) thank you!! i love what you do here 💖

So unfortunately, I am not a fashion historian and therefore I don't know. I don't have any access to fashion libraries or subscriptions to digital collections. There are a number of places online that have scanned copies of plates or issues of La Mode Illustree (example: Internet Archive, 4 of 6 issues of LMI for 1866). Obviously, it'll be a pain in the butt paging through all of the ones they have for a ten-year-or-more period (and they might not even have the one you want), but it's the best I can do.

Does anybody else have any research ideas they can share?

[yestolerancepro]

Tolerance Project Blog When i’m feeling Blue

Introduction

Hello there and welcome to a blog called When I’m feeling Blue which looks at the issue of Blue Badge Abuse.

It it was one of the issues we covered when we made the Tolerance film picture the scene our Heroine Julie gets to work and finds that her taxi cannot drop her off in the disabled space, which has the extra space for wheelchairs, because someone is abusing their Orange Badge. (It is a Blue Badge now it changed colour in April 2000). 

The Blue badge scheme itself was extended in 2019 to cover people with hidden disabilities such as mental health and Autism

This Happened on the 20th of August 2019 click on this link to find out more information https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49521867

It is a sad fact, but true that non-disabled people do abuse the disabled badge scheme and disabled parking spaces. In the film, Julie gets to shoot the offender in a spoof of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. I wish we could do that in real life, but the offender does get  wheelclamped in the film. Quite right too.

It is also annoying that there are not enough people to enforce the abuse of parking in disabled spaces by non-disabled people. If it were up to me, I would fine and wheelclamp the lot of them, with on the spot fines It seems a lot of people agree with me read this http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/cheating-drivers-who-park-disabled-8646293?utm_content=buffercc276&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

 I am not joking some 20 years later Disabled badge abuse does still goes on if only by small minority here are the cold hard facts  

 Every year £46 million is left uncollected in Blue Badge costs as a result of this extra money is passed on to members of the public who pay for the shortfall in extra taxes so how is the system being abused well the 2 most common ways of committing fraud using a blue badge is that the details on the badges themselves are being altered usually by changing the expiry dates on them normal badges have to be renewed every 3 years Fradsters get hold of the badges and change the dates for 5 or 10 years in some cases so that can get the lovely Free parking that disabled people enjoy they offer a disabled person hundreds of pounds for their badge  the going rate for this is about £500 they ether  take the badge with clock  remove the genuine disabled persons photo with one of there own and change the details or photo copy the badge and put it in their car

The other way that blue badges are  misused is that your only supposed to use the Blue badge when the person that the badge is issued for is in the vehicle themselves

members of family will rightly or wrongly will use the badge to free park in an area when the person the badge is issued for is not in the car bus or taxi

Not to give abled bodied motorists ideas but this news in the telegraph newspaper also mentions how they are getting away with Blue badge badge fraud click on the link here http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/12/31/able-bodied-motorists-getting-away-disabled-parking-fraud/?WT.mc_id=tmg_share_tw

In 2012 security measures on the Blue badges were tightened up 

1. Serial number on the badge is longer it now features more information such as the month and year you were born

2. Badge now has a hologram embedded in it like your credit or bank card which should make it harder for criminals to copy  

3. The photo of the Blue Badge user is now printed digitally so criminals’ will not just be able to cover up your details with their own

So what would might happen if you miss use your blue badge

You could be issued with a warning if it’s a first time offence  Blue badges are the property of local councils. Your local authority can take your blue badge away or withdraw an existing one if you are found to be misusing it.

If you have committed an offence relating to a blue badge, you may also be fined up to £1000 plus any additional penalty for any related parking offence

If you do apply for a Blue badge please be aware of the Scam websites you can find out about them here http://www.wiltsglosstandard.co.uk/news/15129344.Disabled_people_applying_for_a_blue_badge_warned_of_scam_websites_that_charge_for_application_process/?ref=rss&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Also if you have a blue badge keep it safe http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34020743

In Summary  

The Blue Badge Scheme is a lifeline for many disabled people and without it , there would be many Disabled People who would be housebound , and loose the little independence  that they do have.

In addition  The Corona Virus has meant that the number of Disabled Parking Bays available to Disabled People  has reduced, this too has had a detrimental impact on the day to day lives and independence of people living with a disability

When we started Tolerance some Twenty Years ago, we were a group of disabled people  who wanted to do friendship our way, full of Fun , laughter , and friendships that have lasted a lifetime . Over the years , however The Tolerance Project and in Particular the Tolerance film we were given the opportunity  to make have provided us with a platform to highlight what life is like living with a disability in Britain Today. I and the members of  Tolerance  would like to thank you for reading this blog, and ask that you share it as widely as possible so that we can raise awareness and start positive conversations about the challenges that are important to Disabled People  so that we can continue to work together to find solutions , and continue to promote the Social Model of Disability , where the emphasis is placed on Society  changing their attitudes and policies , rather than disabled people having to feel that the challenges they live with day to day are a burden .

Notes

This blog has been a long time in the making the version your reading now was first written in 2012 its sat on my computer for 11 years because I didn’t know how to complete  it Thank you Gemma Blagbourgh for helping me finish it I hope when you read its been well worth the wait.

The blog also includes material Ability Not Inability Producers Commentary Part 3 Employment

Pictures

1 and 2 and 3 Julie takes care of her boss abuising a disabled parking badge Clint Eastwood Style Screengrabs taken from the Tolerance film with thanks to Ian Medley

4)An example of a blue disabled  Badge

If you have read this blog and want to find out more about the Tolerance Project please click on the above link for our Godundme page https://gofund.me/5cf25de4

[ninja-muse]

May seems to have stretched itself. I measure time partly by books read, and several of the books I read this month took me more than a week, which is unusual but non-fiction and classics will do that. This was balanced, of course, by me proving my ability to read an entire book within 48 hours, which happened a couple times, and so May also felt kind of liminal?

I read two books off my TBR shelves this month: Evelina and The Book of Margery Kempe. Margery is technically a reread, though, since I was assigned it in university. I picked it up because I wasn't feeling historical or cozy or queer or any of my other normal reading moods and I remembered it being the right sort of bonkers. Which it was, but I'd forgotten how much Margery goes on about God and his plans for her and how much more pious she is compared to everyone else. It got a little wearing, and I don't think I'd have liked her much if I'd met her. But I'm glad I reread it!

(My current reads are also brought to you by not knowing what to read next. Thank goodness that I have a stockpile of 200+ unread books at any given time.)

You will also notice there was yet another book haul this month. In my defense, I had a gift card and company access to a discount book supplier, and then my boss got excited about the James Patterson book and wanted everyone to have a copy. Unsure whether I'll actually read it but hey.

I also did pretty well with my physical ARC haul, in that I broke even, and had a DNF. The Book That Wouldn't Burn was more grimdark than I was expecting and failed to hook me on characters, plot, or world. Alas, because it was recced by a coworker. (The other ARCs hauled were digital. I need to get to at least two of them in June so stay tuned.)

In other news, I attended not one, but two cultural events on my own this month! I used to do this more regularly but then 2020 happened. It's only in the last year or so that I've really started going out to things again, and I'm not actually sure if I'd gone to anything alone until now. In any case, the history lecture and the symphony concert failed to do me in, so I might keep going.

Click through to see everything I read this month, in the rough order of how glad I was to have read them.

Evelina - Frances Burney

Evelina travels to London and learns that the only thing more distressing than suitors is her newly discovered family. Inspired Austen.

9/10

warning: misogynist society, xenophobia (against French people)

off my TBR shelves

The Demon of Unrest - Eric Larson

The story of the six months leading up to the American Civil War, complete with weak governments, echo chambers, and political grandstanding.

9/10

warning: racism, slavery, war

reading copy

The Butcher of the Forest - Premee Mohamed

Veris is ordered into the north woods to find the Tyrant’s lost children. Inside are tricks and monsters. She has one day.

8/10

🇨🇦

library book

Baking Imperfect - Lottie Bedlow

A cookbook that encourages bakers to embrace mistakes and imperfections.

8/10

library book

The Teller of Small Fortunes - Julie Leong

Tao is a travelling fortune teller content with small fortunes, but she can’t help being drawn into bigger things when she meets a thief and a mercenary seeking a lost child. Out in November.

7/10

Chinese-coded protagonist, Chinese-coded minor characters, Chinese-American author

reading copy

The Mars House - Natasha Pulley

A ballet dancer fleeing climate disaster finds himself a second-class citizen on Mars. Fortunately—or not—a xenophobic politician needs a husband to raise their polling numbers.

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (queer), 🏳️‍🌈 major character (ungendered), major character with prosthetic leg and PTSD, major Indo-Martian character, largely ungendered society, largely Chinese society

warning: xenophobia, police brutality, riots

library book

The Forest of Vanishing Stars - Kristen Harmel

A woman surviving in the Polish wilderness puts her knowledge to use aiding Jews escaping the Nazis.

7/10

largely Jewish cast, author with Jewish heritage

warning: Nazis, antisemitism, the Holocaust, kidnapping, death of child and parental figures

library ebook

The Honey Witch - Sydney J. Shields

Marigold becomes her grandmother’s apprentice as honey witch, even though it means never finding love. Unfortunately, there’s a very pretty woman in her new town who doesn’t believe in magic.

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (bisexual), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (lesbian, pansexual), Black secondary character

library ebook

The Monstrous Kind - Lydia Gregovic

Merrick returns to her family estate following the death of her father. She expects to take up the fight against the fog and the Phantoms (and her sister), but stranger things are afoot. Out in September.

6.5/10

dark-skinned secondary characters

warning: child abuse, fire

reading copy

Picture Book

A Crocodile Should Never Skip Breakfast - Colleen Larmour Crocodile’s late for his job as a ferry so he skips breakfast—but then he gets hungry while carrying animals… Out in June.

Reread

The Book of Margery Kempe - Margery Kempe

The memoirs of a 15th-century Englishwoman who is sometimes proud, sometimes pious, and definitely determined.

warning: marital rape, antisemitism, violence and torture, possibly mental illness stigma

off my non-TBR shelves

DNF

The Book That Wouldn’t Burn - Mark Lawrence

A girl ripped from her desert home and a young man trapped in an enormous library find themselves in the crosshairs of destiny.

library ebook

Currently reading

A Bouquet From France - Wilfred Thorley, translator

A collection of French poetry from Middle Ages to the 1920s.

off my TBR shelves

Steampunk - Ann and Jeff Vandermeer, editors

A collection of steampunk stories, old and new.

warning: misogyny, child abuse

off my TBR shelves

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin

A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts. The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle

Victorian detective stories

disabled POV character (limb injury), occasional Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 9 + 2 Yearly total: 51 Queer books: 2 Authors of colour: 2 Books by women: 8 Authors outside the binary: 0 Canadian authors: 1 Classics: 2 Off the TBR shelves: 2 Books hauled: 4 ARCs acquired: 6 ARCs unhauled: 3 DNFs: 1

January February March April

[spaciousreasoning]

A Songwriter in Concert

There was a little snow during the night. The deck and front lawn were covered with a light sprinkling. With the overnight low at 31 degrees and the high aiming for only 42, most of the snow stuck around for a bit.

This morning’s blood sugar was back in range, thankfully, at 143. Yay!

Our coffee and brain games started off with my cold brew running out, so I had to use some hot coffee to fill my cup. And the NYT history quiz today was really wild. Several of the items were from millions of years ago, and nothing was from the 21st century.

We got to the breakfast fund-raiser for the men’s recovery retreat a little late, having stopped first for mocha from Old Crow and waiting in a long line. They were almost out of food when we arrived. Two women shared on sponsorship, and both had good messages. I hope I will soon be able to find a new sponsor, but I don’t want to jump the gun.

We stopped at Albertsons on the way home for a few grocery items, including more cold brew for me, yogurt and wine for Nancy, a couple of the chicken meals we like, and some dish soap.

I bought a digital copy of Jonathan Kellerman’s new Alex Delaware novel, “Open Season,” and spent a couple of hours devouring it. As it usually the case with the series it grabbed me from the first page. Which means I have once again abandoned any other books I might have been in the middle of reading.

Meanwhile, Nancy finished reading “The Big Empty.” She enjoyed it, as much as possible for a story about serial killing. She liked the writing, she said. Now we’ll pass the book on to our friend Carrie, a neighbor of Nancy’s daughter out in Marcola. She expressed an interest in it the last time we visited with her.

For dinner we warmed up the last of the leftover spaghetti sauce and boiled some fresh noodles, and Nancy made a small salad.

We took off at 6:30 p.m. for a concert with Cheryl Wheeler at the Unity of the Valley church in Eugene. We hear her regularly on some of the channels we listen to on Spotify. I’ve seen her twice before. The first time was in Tempe many years ago, when she appeared with three other artists, including John Gorka. A few years later I caught her in Tucson in a show with a couple of other women musicians.

Wheeler is a Massachusetts-based singer-songwriter of contemporary folk music. She has recorded thirteen albums and has toured extensively throughout the United States since the mid-1970s. I first became acquainted with her when the song “Arrow,” from her album “Circles and Arrows,” was used in the pre-show playlist for a One in Ten Theatre show on which I was part of the crew. One in Ten was Tucson’s LGBTQIA+ theater company for a number of years. Tonight “Arrow” was the final tune she performed, and I was able to greet her at the stage and let her know how much we enjoy her music and what a delightful show she put on.

Her opener, and accompanist during her portion, was Kenny White, who is an absolute magician on the piano. He did half a dozen tunes for the first act of the evening, a couple of which we will be looking up soon to hear again.